#tme posting

[thingwithclaws]

*grabs uterus fat* mmmmmmmmmmm primordial pouch

[villanevehaus]

what you need to understand is that no matter how badly eve wants to break all those rules and indulge in what she desperately wants from vil- real, true intimacy, understanding, being seen as who she is, dropping the mask and showing the violent, sadistic, masochistic woman she's always been- she will swallow herself whole so that her wants stay inside

[tell-me-eve]

thinking about how neither Eve nor Oksana got to truly be children when they were children and there's a recognition of the other that they're both experiencing with the part of themselves that's the most vulnerable and underdeveloped and they don't know how to navigate it because they didn't ever get the chance to figure it out as kids so now they're just fucked up little girls in adult women's bodies trying to figure shit out like sharing and apologizing and communicating what they're feeling and for so long they didn't have to because they're adult women surrounded by other adults but then somehow there's this other woman who's also kind of a fucked up little girl and they're both suddenly like

do we get along in the sand box?

do you want to see the rest of this movie with me?

your food is pretty, i like it.

thank you.

you hurt my feelings.

im sorry.

this one has coffee. you like coffee. do you want it?

yes, please. thank you.

you're welcome.

i wanted you to be there with me.

i'm sorry that i couldn't be.

you're safe, here, with me.

you're safe, here, with me.

you're safe, here, with me.

[ebonytails]

Based on this tweet lol

[renthony]

It's real fucked up how many queer people dread Pride season due to both systemic queerphobia and queer infighting. Pride season always rockets up my anxiety, and I know I'm not the only one.

This shit sucks, y'all. We gotta support each other more than the queerphobes hate us. I'm not saying we have to love each other, I'm not saying we even have to like each other, but we cannot keep subdividing communities, circulating callouts, and dogpiling each other over who has it worse. That shit will kill us all.

We cannot keep thinking of our individual experiences with bigotry as, "I know [xyz kind of queer] has it worse, but...", and we cannot keep looking at other experiences with bigotry as, "that's bad, but [abc kind of queer] still has it worse," when the reality is that we are all being targeted. It's all bad! It all deserves to be talked about and fought against without trying to put it in some kind of hierarchy! Hierarchies are not fucking helpful here!

Some fucking unity, please.

[sugary-sheep]

dick from a girl who's genuinely scary and actually wants to hurt you.

[mr-ribbit]

something fascinating to me about egg discourse is how often tme people Also joke about or question their friends potential to be trans, and it's literally never talked about like this.

my cis and tme nb friends routinely joke about celebrities or characters that have big "nonbinary energy" or who otherwise exhibit behavior we would associate with ourselves. i have tme friends and acquaintances who have approached me or my wife and straightforwardly said "something seems trans about you, have I asked for your pronouns recently?"

similar friends have even talked about other still-cis friends in our circle this way, or joked about "when are you going to transition like the rest of us?" or "yeah cis people are a minority in this group, just give it time" or "no wonder you have queer friends with how comfortable with being gnc you are" or etc etc examples like that

even the actual examples of people in my life that I can think of as being the most "invasive" or presumptive about gender have been tme people:

it was my cishet friends who outed me and my wife as trans to everyone at their wedding, including their boomer parents and hundreds of strangers, and called it "the most queer wedding party ever"

it was my tme nb friend who kept saying they could "always tell" her transfem cousin was trans before she came out, and then proceeded to randomly give us extremely personal details about her bottom surgery

it was my transmasc friend who refused to call me and my wife anything other than "little enby beans" after we met and introduced us with our full genders+sexuality labels to every single person one by one at a party

it was my transmasc nb friend who kept insisting my wife could "still be nonbinary" when she was first considering identifying as a trans woman instead, and it was THAT idea that actually slowed her down from making changes to her life that she wanted

it was my cis friends who approached me arm and arm and cornered my outside of a bathroom at a party right after I took a piss to suddenly ask me what my pronouns were because they "heard something" at the party

like, transfems deserve robust support against this trash so a lot of our defensive discourse has ofc been about how it IS okay for transfems to talk about eggs and be jokey about it and non-invasively approach others about being trans

but i swear to god none of these weird people have even stopped to make their discourse ABOUT anyone BUT transfems. it's so clearly targeted!!

no one has EVER approached *me* as a tme nb person and suggested i was pressuring gnc people with my egg jokes. never. nothing even remotely similar. i joke about other people being trans all the time and no one has ever treated me the way you all are treating transfems over this issue.

important note: my examples are all things I recall as being invasive and awkward, and I'm sharing them to make a point about how often rude behavior comes from the same tme people pointing fingers over this. but I still don't think any of them are worth the crucifixion people are treating transfem egg discourse with.

even when my friends were weird to me in the above examples, my reaction was either to confront them about it as friends who I trust to be able to communicate with, or to cut those individuals off after they proved not worth a relationship in the long run. at no time did I desire to make a call-out post or spread rumors about them or publicly declare all of their gender as a screeching menace to society.

my point here is that even when I do think about moments where others crossed a line, acting like this is a "issue trans women have" is blatantly transmisogynistic garbage that only exists to serve the woman-hating machine at the heart of our society. fucking cut it out

[gremlingirlsmell]

"i dislike the terms tme and tma" why do you dislike terms that are useful for transfems discussing their systematic opression? do you dislike the terms cis, hetero, white, too? you need to understand that tme & tma are not created to make "new binaries" or whatever, theyre for discussing our real material opression. realize how close you are to saying that transmisogyny isnt "real" or that it "affects everyone". do you also think reverse racism exists, or that homophobia or misogyny targets cis hetero men instead of benefitting them? or do you believe in intersectionality until it's about trans women and transfems, then the intersection of misogyny and transphobia basically becomes meaningless? you "dislike" when transmisogyny is brought up, just as existing?

[spiderbitesandvampirevenom]

[jigsaw voice] hello non-transfem lesbian hornyposter. before you is a computer logged into tumblr dot com. your task is to write a hornypost about a transfem lesbian without making her an aggressive dom-top or a sexual predator. should you fail in this task, the computer will explode into a pile of hammers, killing you instantly. you have 30 minutes.

[bunnyboy-juice]

NO MORE ASSOCIATING THINGS WITH FEMMES ONLY BECAUSE THEY ARE PINK!HYPERFEM FEMMES ARE GREAT AND I LOVE YOU CAMPY FEMMES WHO EMBODY PINK BUT ALSO JESUS CHRIST CAN YOU GUYS NOT GO MORE THAN ONE DAY W/O TRYING TO SHOEHORN FEMMES INTO BEING ONLY PINK UWU BABIES. I AM FEMME AS IN GRASS AS IN DIRT AS IN TREE BARK AS IN WEEDS SPROUTING THROUGH THE SIDEWALK CEMENT. FEMME AS IN GENDER NONCONFORMITY AS IN FUCK YOU MY FEMININITY IS WHAT *I* SAY IT IS. FEMME AS IN DEPTH AND DARKNESS AND WARMTH AND TERROR. FEMME AS IN CAVES. FEMME AS IN LIGHTNING. FEMME AS IN AN AMALGAMATION OF TRAITS THAT I HAVE DECIDED ARE FEMININE REGARDLESS OF WHAT SOCIETY SAYS. FUCK IS IT THAT HARD TO UNDERSTAND?!???

[ratbastarddotfuck]

saw a post tonight where someone said that Rocky Horror Picture Show is "TME brainrot" (among other things) and that's just a really embarrassing thing to say considering the writer of that show identifies as transgender (specifically third gender, and "in between" male and female), and was on oestrogen for around a decade. this person is explicitly affected by transmisogyny (and exorsexism). in fact, it might possibly just be a theme in his art (hint: it is).

it's queer art made by a queer person. sorry that the 82 year old trans person doesn't use your specific terminology or agree with your specific discourse takes. you don't get to degender him because you dislike him lol.

[darci-tbh]

crazy when people are just so blissfully and self righteously unaware of how much it is not sunshine and roses being a trans man. absolutely insane when people say "when has a trans man ever been shunned from a space" "when has a trans man ever had to walk on eggshells for fear of being made an example of" "when has a trans man ever been/had to fear being raped/abused/abandoned/belittled/denied personhood for their transness" ME! me RIGHT HERE in my fucking real life. many many many others too. just because we're constantly silenced and infantalized and erased from the public eye doesn't mean we're not out here suffering. I'm sure it's not the same as the transfem experience. I know for a fact there's a unique kind of suffering in being in the bigots' spotlight. but you can talk loudly and angrily and righteously and exclusively about the mtf experience without slipping in a sly disgusted comment at other trans people or implying that the abuse we go through completely undetected and unacknowledged cannot exist. genuinely. stop fucking generalizing us as all little uwu discord teens with no problems in sight

[b-0-ngripper]

I believe that this is something ALL OF YOU need to see, understand and internalize.

"I DO NOT SHIT-TALK OTHER TRANS PEOPLE IN PUBLIC - IF I TRULY HAVE A PROBLEM THAT MUST BE ADDRESSED, I SPEAK TO THEM DIRECTLY"

[magicalgirlmindcrank]

Transandrophobia is such a ridiculous word, like, transmisogyny is about the overlap of transphobia and misogyny and how that makes transwomen particularly vulnerable. But there isn't any 'androphobia,' that's not a systemic force, and you can't draw a circle around the overlap there. That's just doing transphobia to a transman, it's not the same.

[bookskiver]

[a-polite-melody]

Hmm

I just saw a critique of “oh so transmascs can use a word which is clumsy in its etymology to talk on their oppression and we can’t criticize that, but TME/TMA is able to be criticized on that basis?”

And… it’s kinda different when you actually put these two things in context.

TMA/TME as a binary like cis/trans or multispec/mono or aspec/allo is on a first-stage of language creation, as far as I’m aware. There hasn’t been a 6+ year-long history of trying new words in the face of people nitpicking etymology while having the actual issue behind the needing a new term not engaged with in the meantime which proves that the word isn’t the actual problem and that this is only in-bad-faith in order to shut us up.

I understand the frustration, I even get a knee-jerk reaction to being told that the language you’re using is maybe not the best language (especially considering some of these people were the ones actively utilizing that tactic against transmascs wanting to speak on our issues; they’d be extra prone to be wary of this tactic). But a critique of the word choice itself being harmful isn’t in-and-of-itself a bad-faith critique, especially when it’s on a first attempt at the language and not a nitpick about etymology but a problem with labelling other people’s experiences as being totally exempt for them.

Like. On the surface you can make the “oh so transmascs don’t have to be perfect in their language but transfems do?” argument. But when you actually dig into what’s being discussed it really isn’t that simple.