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aviawrites · 2 years ago

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you are not safe (tlou)

𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴: 𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘢𝘮𝘴 𝘹 𝘧𝘦𝘮!𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

(𝘩𝘣𝘰 𝘵𝘭𝘰𝘶)

𝘴𝘶𝘮𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘺: 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘦𝘴𝘤𝘢𝘱𝘦 𝘍𝘌𝘋𝘙𝘈 𝘲𝘶𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘴𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘭 𝘪𝘯 𝘩𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥, 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘪𝘥𝘯’𝘵 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘴𝘰 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘺. 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘤𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘬𝘦𝘳𝘴, 𝘵𝘰 𝘬𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘴, 𝘵𝘰 𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘺 𝘮𝘪𝘥𝘥𝘭𝘦 𝘢𝘨𝘦𝘥 𝘮𝘦𝘯, 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳; 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥’𝘷𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘭𝘦𝘧𝘵. (12.8𝘬)

𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴: 𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘱𝘩𝘪𝘤 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘤𝘳𝘪𝘱𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘧𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨/𝘨𝘶𝘯𝘴/𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘴, 𝘤𝘭𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘱𝘩𝘰𝘣𝘪𝘢, 𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩, 𝘢𝘯𝘹𝘪𝘦𝘵𝘺

𝘢/𝘯: 𝘵𝘭𝘰𝘶!! 𝘮𝘺 𝘧𝘢𝘷𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘰𝘮𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪’𝘷𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦. 𝘪 𝘩𝘰𝘱𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘺𝘢𝘭𝘴 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘴 𝘶𝘱 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴, 𝘢𝘴 𝘪’𝘷𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘺𝘦𝘥. 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶’𝘥 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪’𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘪𝘧 𝘪 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘥𝘰 𝘪𝘵! 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘸𝘢𝘺, 𝘢𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴, 𝘶𝘳 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘪𝘴 𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘭𝘺 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥, 𝘪𝘭𝘺<3

𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺, 𝘺𝘯 𝘪𝘴: 𝘮𝘪𝘢

Your breath heavies as you carefully pick up your boots, trying your hardest not to crunch the broken glass on the floor of the abandoned building. The clicker behind you attentively tilts its head up, waiting for any sound that signals you’re still nearby. You made the difficult choice between an expired pack of crackers and your life when you ran out of the room empty handed…there’s always next time.

You crouch, almost around the corner and safely away from the infected when you hear a loud clatter on the floor. Your knife lays spinning on the ground after falling from your waist band. The empty and vast building amplifies the sound and you’re sure the entire city has heard your knife fall. You shut your eyes tight, contemplating if you should just curl up into a ball and let this be the end.

Who are you kidding.

In the span of two seconds you swiftly take your knife off of the floor and begin running. The half empty bag on your back jingles with what’s left of your canned food as you turn the corner. The clicker lets out a retched screech before running full force behind you, it’s footsteps sounding like death itself chasing you.

You’re less that six feet from the stairwell when the most horror movie shit occurs at the worst possible time.

You feel yourself step on your own shoe lace and come crashing down. You attempt to stay down and quiet as the clicker stops at the end of the hall. You pull your empty gun from your book bag pocket and point it, more from instinct than protection. Your hands shake along with your breath as you hyper fixate on every twitch and flinch of the clicker.

It turns its fungus consumed head side to side, waiting. You let out a quivering breath, not having a single thing to save you from this.

But even that was a mistake. The dead silence was interrupted with your exhale. That one minuscule sound was enough to make the monster turn to you. Your heart freezes as it lets out a piercing cry. When you close your eyes this time, you’re sure it’s for good. There’s no more running.

You prepare for impact, holding your gun close and pulling your knees closer as you begin to regret every decision you’ve made up until this point.

You wait for the bite. Will it get your legs? Your arms? Your neck?

You hope it gets your neck. Quick and painless.

The terrible sound of the creature nearing you grows and just as it fills every one of your senses…it stops.

You hear a shot ring out. You don’t know if this is the after life or God himself pulled the trigger. Either way, thank God.

You look up to see the clicker retract, a hole in its chest. You snap your head around to see a man towering behind you, a shotgun pointed at the clicker. He wears a thick leather jacket, a coordinating book bag. He can’t be less than 50, no older than 60. He has the signature salt and pepper hair, the grays outweighing the browns.

“You bit?” He looks down to you, gun still pointed.

“No, I-“ You have no time to decide whether to thank him or run away before the clicker lets out an angry shriek.

“Come on.”

He grabs your book bag and pulls you up. All you know is to run. You don’t know where you’re going, you don’t know who you’re with, you only know to run.

The man behind you continues to fire at the infected as he follows you down the spiraling stair way. You can hear it thrashing itself down the steps and almost cry from the adrenaline and fear. Finally, you recognize the doors that you entered through coming up ahead. The unlit ‘EXIT’ sign now seeming like a shining cross. You put the last of your energy, hope, and throttle into making it to the double doors.

You shove one side and it swings open. Against your instinct of slamming it closed behind you, you decide to wait the three extra seconds for your new found partner. He throws himself through the barrier just before you push it closed behind him, the thuds of a pissed off clicker fighting against you.

The man quickly picks up the wooden plank that you removed when you walked in, placing it back - effectively saving the both of you from what lies behind.

You escaped death again, barely. You can’t help but feel like she’s going to keep coming for you, and she won’t let you off this easily next time.

Both of you hunch over as you struggle to catch your breath. Blood splatters both of your clothes, but you can only be grateful that it isn’t yours. The only noise in the room is your panting and the occasional angry boom from behind the doors.

Every rule you’ve ever lived by is telling you to either run from, fight, or kill the person beside you. In todays world, saving a life doesn’t come free - and you have no intention of paying any price. The niceties you learned in the FEDRA camp don’t apply to the real world, it’s dog-eat-dog. Always.

“You here alone?” He finally speaks up, his voice rugged and low.

You know much better than to answer that question truthfully. And any sane person knows better than to ask it.

You stay silent, still softly panting as you avoid eye contact.

"If I was going to hurt you, I would've done it by now." He towers over you.

They all say that. You’d say that, knowing full well that isn’t the truth.

He frustratingly huffs, peering away from you for a moment before looking back.

“You got a name?”

This one you can answer. If it was someway somehow a question made to trick you, shame on you.

“Mia.” You say shortly, finally looking at him.

“Where you headed?”

This guy really doesn’t know how fucking suspicious these questions are.

“Alright,” He steps closer to you, “It’s either you answer me or I leave you right here.”

“I’m fine on my own, thanks.” You spit, offended that he thinks you need a man you don’t know.

“Didn’t look like it.”

Touché.

You contemplate lying, telling him you’re on your way right back to FEDRA and they’ll be waiting for you. But you know better than to use that name, one that everyone isn’t very fond of. Hell, if you heard it you’d be more wary of the person than scared of the organization.

“I’m going to Kansas. Searching for my brother.” You say truthfully.

When you escaped the FEDRA school, there was no way in hell you were leaving your brother, Luca, there. You knew it’d be risky, taking an 8 year old into the free world, but what they’d do to him at a corrupt facility with a runaway sister would be much worse.

You weren’t going to be on your own for long, though. You had a plan.

You only left in the first place to find your missing friend. There were many nights when she’d come home late from sneaking out, especially after a mutual of yours got infected. She was in the worst state you’d ever seen her. Both of you were friends with Riley, her more so than you, so when she was bitten, it was your responsibility to protect your remaining friend. She’d be gone until the guards would come for morning call just…out. Either at the mall or on the roofs doing god knows what. But she made it abundantly clear that she wanted to be alone.

But when she simply didn’t come back one day, you knew you had to find her. She wouldn’t leave you, she wouldn’t leave FEDRA. Where would she go?

So you did the only thing you could and broke yourself and Luca out of that shit hole, leaving a small trail of unconscious men behind.

For the first two weeks you felt like you were invincible. Not running into any clickers, finding buildings full of what you needed, keeping water high. You thought you’d find her in no time, how far could she have gotten?

But that all changed. One thing you hadn’t prepared for was knowing the difference between abandoned safe havens and FEDRA military zones. When the two of you unknowingly walked right into one and were ambushed, no amount of gun power could’ve saved you.

They separated you, soldiers ripping little Luca away as he shouted your name. You saw red, this fucking organization has taken enough from you. You’d be a fool not to fight, and like hell you did.

But not enough. Not enough to get the both of you out. The decision you made to keep running and not go back for him was only justified by one thing.

Every radio you heard go off, every conversation you overheard in the short time you were there. They all mentioned the same thing.

Kansas.

It’s all you had to hold on to.

You abandoned your initial search mission and put all of your focus and energy into making it to Kansas and retrieving your brother from the shits that took him. And if this guy thinks that he can render that plan, he’ll die trying.

“Kansas?” He cocks his head at you.

“Yea, you going too?”

He stares at you, his brows furrowed.

“Kansas is dead.”

Your heart skips a beat. In a perfect world, he’ll mean that all of the infected in Kansas have been cleared out and it’s a FEDRA zone. That’d be better than what you’re thinking of.

“Dead?” You ask, all of your attention now on him.

“Overrun. It’s crawling with clickers, I saw it myself.” He tells you, strait faced. He slightly shakes his head. “If your brother was there…”

You stare at him, waiting for it to be a twisted joke and for him to burst into laughter at your reaction. For him to mock the way your face drained of color and eyes went wide.

But it never comes. You just stare at each other. It’s only now that you realize he isn’t lying, he’s being 100% serious. You scramble for a reason that he’d make this up but you come up empty, there is no reason to lie about this.

Your mouth stays agape as you feel like all of the air has been sucked out of the room. You blink back tears and attempt to speak when you’re interrupted.

"You alright, Joel?” You hear a voice coming from the open exit across the room. “That banging must've alerted at least-"

You turn your head to see someone you gave up all hope of ever seeing again. She stops in her tracks and you feel the air sucked out of you for the second time.

It’s…Ellie.

The Ellie that disappeared after Riley got bit. The Ellie that you escaped FEDRA to come find. The Ellie that was your closest friend since you were kids. She’s standing in front of you…a ghost. She has to be.

Nothing makes sense as you both look at each other in silence.

“…Mia?” She speaks up, her eyes just as wide as yours.

You finally breathe. She’s real. That voice is real and it’s the only thing you’ve wanted to hear for a month now. Against all odds, this fucker lived. Of course she did, you were stupid to think anything or anyone could kill Ellie Williams.

“Ellie.” You sigh, relieved as you begin walking toward her.

You crash into a hug, her arms instinctively wrapping around you. Tears prickle your eyes but you know better than to cry in front of your hardened friend and this stranger of a man.

“I thought you were dead.” You squeeze her.

“How are you-“ She stutters, pulling away to get a better look at you. “How’d you escape?”

You smile for the first time in a long time.

“I’m a good liar and a better fighter.” You shrug cockily, “Learned that from you.”

“I-“ She laughs in disbelief. “You just left? I can’t even- I can’t believe you’re fuckin’ here right now. How is-”

“Fuck that Ellie, where have you been? And who’s he?” You point behind you.

Ellie looks over your shoulder then back to you, obvious on her face that the guy didn’t approve of your question.

“It’s-“

She’s cut off by another loud bang from behind the doors, causing the the wooden plank to rattle.

“We need to go.” You hear the man grunt before walking past the two of you.

…

You’ve never been in a real moving car. You’ve heard stories and seen abandoned ones, but never been inside of one that’s up and running. You can only imagine that this is what it feels like to be in an airplane. The world going by so fast as everyone inside seems to live in a separate reality.

Ellie and her friend sit in the front seats while your eyes stayed glued out of the window in the back of the craggy truck.

You didn’t even mind that the stranger in the drivers seat heard the stories that you and Ellie exchange on the way. You explain the entire last month of your life, skimming through the hellish few weeks without Luca. You try your hardest not to completely shut down as his calls for you ring through your head once again.

But the thoughts are quickly moved to the side as Ellie explains her own stories. How a woman, Marlene, took her from the school and to a Fireflies camp.

If FEDRA taught you one thing, it was to never trust that militia group. Terrorist, is what they called them.

Marlene was the third person to ever know that Ellie was immune, and like you feared, she planned to take advantage of it. She sent Ellie with an outsider to get her to a hospital in Utah in order to find a ‘cure.’ Anyone who’s been alive this long knows there’s no cure.

This is how things are, you know that. If this Marlene was half as smart as Ellie says she is, then she knows that. You just wish Ellie knew it too. The day everyone stops acting like there’s going to be some saving grace that stops this world from being a shit hole is the day that society will finally move forward.

We just need to adjust. When people try to find solutions to reality, things don’t end well. You thought that what happened to Riley would’ve made that clear. But knowing Ellie, she’ll do everything in her power to stop the world from becoming worse than it already is.

You’ve stopped looking out of the window and now sit in the center of the seat, looking at both the driver and your friend as you try to decipher everything that Ellie’s telling you.

“Right. And this man-“

“Joel.” Ellie reminds you.

“Joel.” You nod. “He’s your…dad?”

Ellie damn near chokes on air as she stifles a laugh.

“No, no.” She shakes her head, holding back her giggle.

“Absolutely not.” Joel huffs.

“Marlene just sent me with him. We’re…” She looks over to him, seeming not to know the answer herself. “Partners.”

“Partners?” You tilt your head, not understanding why she wouldn’t kick him where it hurts and run like hell from him when she had the chance if they were just partners.

She nods.

You turn to lay in your seat, putting your legs in the chair and head on the window sill.

“Tell me what adventures you and your partner have been on since you became cargo.” You say, looking at the world go by above your head.

“It’s a long story-“

“It’s not like we’re gonna be late, Ellie.” You shrug,

She sighs, pausing for a moment before speaking up.

“Well, the last place was…” She trails off.

You wait for her to finish, but she never does. You look down from the window to see Ellie’s face drained of color. She looks like she’s seen a ghost as Joel looks over to her, both of them sharing something nonverbal. You feel like you’ve overstepped somehow, which you’ve never felt with your best friend before. The tension grows thick in the air and it’s only now that you’d want nothing more than to get out of this car.

Ellie clears her throat, looking away from Joel and seemingly detouring from what she was going to talk about.

“We went to Wyoming.” She says, the mood slowly reverting back to normal. “They had an entire community. Walls, real meals, movies- I mean, I saw a fuckin’ movie.”

You scoff, not believing it. “Bullshit.”

“I swear.” She says in between laughs. “And we met Joel’s brother, Tommy. He had a-“

“Ellie.” Joel stops her. He flashes a look that you can only imagine a father giving his kid when she slips up.

Ellie puts her hands up in surrender. “Excuse the fuck out of me.”

The three of you come to a quiet as you see a tunnel filled to the top with rubble. You can assume that it’s a blockage from when the world first fell. Joel shuts the car off before opening his door.

“We gotta walk.”

…

All of you roam through an old demolished building covered up with red tarp. Packages and wooden boxes lay around the tinted room as Joel looks for a way to get around the road block. You and Ellie are effectively zero help as you continue to catch up while he does all of the searching.

“Real snow?”

She nods. “It looks cool, but it’s so cold that you can’t enjoy it. More than 10 seconds out there and I was fuckin’ shaking.”

You laugh, astonished at all that she’s experienced in the short time that you’ve been apart. Ellie continues.

“It’s nothing like the snow cookies from school.”

You perk up, excitedly jumping up and down as you reminisce. “Oh my god, I totally forgot about the fucking snow cookies!”

“Every goddamn winter.” Ellie smiles. “Gathering in the kitchen and cutting snowflakes in our cookie dough to make up for the fact that we’d never seen snow a day in our lives.”

“God, it was so sad.” You sigh, coming down from your laughter. “And when we’d cut them into tiny little pieces to make it seem like more. Jesus, we were starving kids. Good times, man.” You giggle.

There’s a pause. You look up to see Ellie staring at her hands, seeming to zone out. Her smile has faded and her face goes slightly red as she peers.

“Ellie?” You call. “You okay?”

No answer. She stands frozen in her fazed state. Joel seems to notice as you look to him. He walks closer to Ellie, coming up on the other side of her. She doesn’t seem to notice at all.

“Hey.” He calls. When she doesn’t answer he steps closer, head tilted at her. “Ellie.” He raises his voice.

She finally snaps out of it, slightly shaking it off before looking at both of you like a deer in headlights.

“You okay?” Joel asks, brows furrowed.

“Yea, yea.” She says as if it’s obvious, trying her hardest to hide her disheveled state.

“‘Cause you been acting sort of funny…”

She shakes her head, “Sorry.”

“No, no need to apologize.”

You both just look at her. Anyone with a grasp of social cues can tell that somethings wrong. But it doesn’t stop you from feeling a little sad that she doesn’t feel safe enough to tell you about it.

Joel clears his throat, changing topics. “I found the way out. We’ll have to ditch the car but it was on its last leg anyway.”

Ellie nods before Joel walks away, leaving you and her. You can’t help but linger for a minute, praying that she’ll tell you what’s wrong even if it’s stupid. It’s clearly bothering her.

“Seriously, I’m fine.” She shrugs, forcing a small smile before following Joel out.

You watch her go before letting out a huff and trudging behind her.

Outside, you see what looks like a destroyed junk yard. Old cars and dirt covered tarps lay on the ground, you assume it’s a bombed area.

“This a FEDRA thing?” Ellie asks as the two of you catch up with Joel.

“No, Army.” He quickly responds, looking around. “Emergency medical camps from when everything fell, obviously didn’t last. They had me in one just like this.”

“With Sarah?”

“No, she was already gone.”

You look over to Ellie, clearly confused. She discreetly shakes her head, signaling that now isn’t the time to explain. You get the message, nodding before looking to Joel.

“So what was wrong with you?” You ask, genuinely curious. If anything, you would’ve thought he was army.

He looks overtop Ellie’s head, his gaze landing on you. He gestures to the side of his face where a healed scar lays on his temple.

“For this.”

“Oh,” Ellie speaks up, knowing the story. “For the guy that shot and missed. I assumed that would’ve happened later.”

Ellie doesn’t notice Joel’s halt as she walks ahead of him. She keeps talking while he just stands there, causing you to stop with him.

“The army was way better at stitching you up than I was-“

“Ellie…” You softly call her, seeing the slight change in Joel’s face as he stands there.

She turns around, staring at the two of you just as lost at you are. Joel only stares at the ground, as if he’s conjuring up the courage to say something.

“Joel?”

“…It was me.” He looks at her. “I’m the guy who shot and missed.”

Your gaze instantly shifts from Ellie to Joel, viewing his scar in a very different light now. Ellie’s face has dropped as both of you watch him remove his gun from around his torso and take a seat on a cement wall. Ellie follows suit, sitting beside him. You stay standing, not feeling like this a moment for you to intrude on.

“There’s no story.” He shrugs, avoiding eye contact as if he’s telling the story to himself for the first time. “Sarah died and I couldn’t see the point anymore, simple as that.”

Ellie examines his face. You know her well enough to realize that this isn’t just her partner. She’s never been worried about someone else’s feelings or stories the way she is about Joel’s. It’s like she’s teetering the edge between engulfing him in a hug and putting her hardened wall back up, but by the way she’s looking at him, you know what side she’s leaning on.

“I was so ready.” He continues. “I couldn’t have been more ready…But for some reason, when I pulled the trigger…”

He goes quiet, shaking his head like it’s something he still doesn’t understand himself.

“I flinched.” He says airily, almost scoffing. “Still don’t know why.”

Ellie looks back at you before returning to Joel, who’s now looking out into the rubble, deep in thought. She clears her throat, catching his attention.

“Well I’m glad that…” She gestures to his scar, “that didn’t work out.”

He nods, clearing his own throat as they almost instantaneously put their guards back up.

“Yea, me too.” He says, the two of them rising to their feet. Joel sighs, looking around the junkyard as you and Ellie share a look.

“We better find somewhere to hole up.”

You furrow your brows, “What about the hospital?”

“We’ll make it tomorrow, it’s getting dark.”

“Where will we go? We can’t stay…” Ellie examines the dump, “here.”

Joel holds his arms out to the side, gesturing to all of the abandoned apartments surrounding you.

“Which one do you want?”

She looks at you, “What do you think?”

You laugh at their request, seeing as they’re all beaten down and deteriorating. The only one that stands out is the tallest building in the area. Off-white paint with the words ‘NEW RENTALS’ fading off of the front sign. You point to it. Ellie shrugs, nodding her head in approval.

“I call the-“

“Don’t even fuckin’ think about it.” Ellie stops you. You smile as she already knows what you’re going to say. “That master bedroom is mine.”

“Only if you can get there first.” You grin, darting away from them in pursuit of the apartment.

Ellie follows quickly behind you, hot on your trail as you both race to get the bedroom first.

“Hey, slow down!” You hear Joel’s distant calls.

“You know what’s not right?” Ellie reads her joke book, a huge smile on both of your faces as you pant.

“It better not be left.” You remark as the two of you enter the atrium of the complex.

“Damn it!” She scolds. You burst into laughter, your stomach hurting from how painfully lame her jokes are.

“I told you, I’ve gotten good since you last saw me.” You shrug.

“Okay, okay. Listen to this one.” She begins, paying no mind to the dark and molded interior of the building. “People are making apocalypse jokes like there’s no tomorrow.”

You look to her, deadpanning. She smiles knowingly.

“Too soon?”

“Way too fuckin’ soon.” You laugh. “I bet you I know half of the jokes in that-“

You suddenly come to a screeching halt. Ellie, a few feet ahead of you, is whisked away in the span of a second, her joke book now on the ground where she once stood. You barely have time to think as you look over to your left and see her on the ground, a thin and mutilated clicker atop of her. It sprints at what seems like the speed of light, violently throwing itself on Ellie.

Her screams pull you out of your trance. You shout her name before swiftly retrieving your newly loaded gun, curtesy of Joel’s backseat ammunition. Holding it up, you fire 4 shots.

You’re wildly off target, too afraid to hit Ellie in the close contact. You abandon the gun, taking the knife out of your waist band and hurdling toward the clicker. It must be newly infected, as you would’ve thought it was a human had it not been for the patch of fungus replacing the left side of its head.

You jump on its back, stabbing the monster’s ribs over and over as it stumbles off of Ellie. You scramble to your feet just as the clicker lets out a furious cry, blood leaking from its torso. You can’t back away quick enough before it jumps on you the same way it did Ellie.

It roars and bites toward your face as you pierce its stomach over and over, not able to pull your arm up high enough to slash its skull. You’ve made the mistake of looking into its eyes, horrifying you to another level. They’re green and bloodshot, the eyes of a crazed person. The image sends chills through your body.

“Ellie!” You yell, tears threatening to fall from your eyes.

You’re seconds away from giving up, the clicker not letting up in the slightest. But you know better. You have people depending on you, people to protect. You can’t leave Luca and Ellie, not now.

Your fight is giving out just as the weight suddenly lifts off of you. A gunshot rings out and the clicker goes limp, prompting you to shove it off of your body. You pull yourself off of the ground, your shirt now soaked in more clicker guts. To your right, in front of Ellie, is a sight you’ve seen before. Joel lowers his shot gun and rushes toward you, catching you off guard as he grabs your shoulders and spins you around.

“Are you bit?” He asks, frantically checking you.

He roughly rotates your body, patting you down and turning your head as he closely looks at every inch of you.

“Dude, get off of-“

He tilts your head to the right, examining your neck. He raises both of your arms and scans over both legs.

“Hey, hey…” Ellie speaks up, noticing how aggressive he’s being.

Joel doesn’t listen, continuing, to barbarically twist and turn you without saying a word.

“I’m fine! Get the fuck off of me!” You yell, finally pushing him away.

He stumbles back, just staring at you as he catches his breath. Ellie looks between the two of you, clearly not familiar with this behavior coming from him.

He doesn’t say anything, only walks past you and the dead clicker before entering the stairwell. You watch him go, looking back to give Ellie an unapproving look as you follow behind him.

…

The tension in the small apartment is thick as you unpack your things in silence. Ellie allowed you the master, not feeling right taking it from you anymore. Joel takes the couch, setting his bag down and walking into the smaller room’s bathroom, leaving you and Ellie alone.

Ellie sets her book bag on the kitchen counter and begins unpacking what food she has. You lean on the breakfast bar, watching her.

“Sarah was Joel’s daughter.” She breaks the quiet, continuing to unload her bag.

“I figured.” You nod.

“I think you remind him of her, somehow. He’s…protective, but doesn’t know why. I don’t think he knows how to react to shit like that; to how he feels about other people.”

“Sounds familiar.”

She stops, not being able to hide her smile as she looks at you.

“Shut the fuck up.” She giggles, beginning to sort her cans.

You laugh, the mood finally beginning to lighten in Joel’s absence.

“I can tolerate him, Joel. He’s protecting you. He cares for you, I can tell. As long as that’s true we’re on the same side.” You shrug, knowing that she’s your only priority right now.

Ellie eyes you, holding back a grin as she zips her bag up. You peek over the counter to see a few cans separated into 2 groups.

“Holy shit, no way.” Your eyes go wide as you pick up one of the small red containers. “You have ravioli?”

“Oh yea, we found it on the road.” She says, “It’s not as good cold, plus we have to split one can so you can’t really savor the taste.”

“You have like two weeks of food and you have to split one can?” You ask, realizing how much weight she’s lost since she left.

“Joel says we need to ration. Hopefully he’ll let us have two now that you’re here.”

“No.” Joel exits the bathroom with perfect timing. “We’ll just have smaller rations.”

Ellie spins around, “Oh, come on. It’s not like we don’t have enough.”

He tosses his rifle on the couch before crashing down on it. “One can. That’s it.” Joel lays back, closing his eyes.

Ellie rolls her eyes, turning to you.

“One can, that’s it.” She quietly mocks him, causing both of you to laugh.

You see something whiz past your head and hit Ellie straight in the face.

“Ow!” She pulls the leather jacket off of her. “Watch it, mother fucker!”

“I heard that.” He grunts, making himself more comfortable.

You chuckle, setting Ellie’s Chef Boyardee back down before heading into the master bedroom.

…

March 12th, 2024

“Texas QZ to Boston,” The soldier says into his walkie as he paces the room. “We’ve got two runaways from quarantine boarding. No younger than 5, no older than 16.”

The radio crackles before a voice comes through, “You’re positive they’re from the school?” They ask.

The guard looks over before walking toward you, causing you to back up until you can’t anymore. He gives you a look like you’re the stupidest person alive as he yanks your arm to him, observing the BQZ tattooed just under your left wrist.

“Yea, I’m sure.” He smiles as you snatch your hand away.

You hated nothing more than waking up everyday with that tattoo on you. That branding. Since you were little, even when you thought FEDRA wasn’t the corrupt infantry that it is, you used to scrub it in the shower until your skin turned red. The thought of having something permanently put on you like that caused your brain unrest for years. Only now do you realize that it can put you in more danger than you ever would’ve thought.

“Take ‘em to Kansas with you.” The person on the other side responds.

“Yes, sir.” He nods, his southern accent thick as he latches his radio back to his waist.

The officer stares down at you like a predator to prey, raising a hand to smooth your hair. “You’re coming with me, darlin’.” He wickedly grins, displaying his wildly unkept teeth.

“Don’t touch me.” You slap his hand away from you, pushing him back. He catches himself, his smile not faltering as you sneer. “I want to see my brother.”

“You’re a feisty one.” He raises a brow.

You ignore him, not new to the perverted nature of every asshole in this stupid department.

“Now.” You insist.

“I’ll let you see your brother…” His boots beat on the floor as he stalks toward you, causing a twisting pit in your stomach. “If you work for it.”

His sinister smirk is all you need to see to know what he wants, and you’d be damned if he thought he’d ever get it. But your eyes were on the prize; the glistening rifle around his chest.

“What do I have to do?” You ask, batting your eyelashes as best you can.

He nears you. You can’t help but laugh at the stupid mistake he’s made, your hand tightly gripping the knife in your own waistband as he strokes your cheek.

“Not much, sweetheart.”

The soldier reaches for his belt buckle and you seize the opportunity, releasing your blade and slashing his stomach in one swift motion. He buckles almost immediately, wailing and falling onto his knees as he holds his gut. You pay no mind, pulling his gun off of his torso and pointing the butt at him.

“Son of a-“ He struggles to catch his breath. “What the hell are you doing!?”

You deadpan at him, expecting more of a fight than this. You ram the back of the gun straight into his nose, him falling unconscious with ease. You wedge your knife back into your pants before exiting the room.

…

You’ve shot the assault weapon so many times that you’ve lost track. Blacking out during gunfights like this isn’t uncommon for you, but there was one thing you’re sure of. No matter how many rooms you checked, how many guards you demanded answers from, you haven’t found Luca.

You stand outside of the building, knowing that this is your one and only chance of escape. A thousand thoughts cross your mind. They could’ve taken him miles away by now, he could be hiding…he could be dead. Never in your life have you thought about leaving your brother behind, but as the sound of military tanks grow louder, you know it’s your only option. Either you and him die here, or you leave now and come back for him later.

There’s only one right choice. You spin around and book it into the wooded area behind the beaten down Texan warehouse. You squat in the trees as 4 tanks full of FEDRA officers arrive in less than 3 minutes. They hop out with guns bigger than Luca before shutting the gate and securing a perimeter.

There’s nothing left to see, you’re seconds away from fleeing the scene when you hear something that will haunt you for weeks to come.

“Mia!” Luca’s delicate voice screams.

You rise to your feet, looking past the tanks to see tiny Luca being dragged outside by two of the living soldiers from the building. His throat strains as he shouts your name, the FEDRA officers ignoring him. Your heart has never ached more, you want nothing more than to take your brother and run like hell.

But there’s no way. FEDRA officers have surrounded the warehouse. It’s swarming with them. All your presence would do is give them all the more reason to torture and kill the both of you. But as long as they were looking for you, the longer Luca has to live.

You’ll be the distraction. You’ll be whatever Luca needs to stay alive…

April 26th, 2024

Three knocks at the bedroom door pull you out of deep thought. You’ve worked up a sweat remembering what happened to your baby brother. It’s like each time you close your eyes it happens all over again.

You sit up on the bed, the most comfortable spot you’ve ever slept in. You don’t call out, knowing better. FEDRA taught you to never assume what’s going on behind a door, you have no idea what’s happened out there. You don’t make yourself known as you quietly reach for the knife under your pillow.

“It’s me.” You hear Ellie’s voice, just above a whisper.

You put the knife down and slip from under the covers, squinting in the moon lit room to unlock the door and swing it open. She stands with her hair down, how you thought it was prettiest.

“You scared me.” You scoff.

“Sorry.” She rocks back on her heels, whispering low enough to not wake Joel. “I haven’t really been able to sleep alone very well since I left school.”

You mindlessly nod, enamored by how lovely she looks. She looks past you into the room.

“I was wondering if I could…”

“Oh, yea!” You snap out of it, stepping aside for her to walk in. “Of course.”

“I won’t stay long, I swear.” She says as you close the door behind her. “Just for a little bit.”

“Stay as long as you want, really. Honestly, I’d rather you be here with me.” You walk in front of her and climb into your bed, sitting criss cross. “Come.” You pat the space in front of you.

“Oh,” Ellie raises her brows, not expecting to be so close. “Okay.”

She walks around to the other side of the bed before pulling her own knife from her pocket and sitting it on the wooden nightstand. You can’t help but smile at how much like you she is. She lifts herself onto the comforter and copies your position.

You stare at each other. You’d have no issue doing this all night, but you know Ellie is beginning to feel uncomfortable by now.

“D’you wanna play a game?” You ask.

She exhales, relieved that the silence didn’t last long. “Sure, like what?”

“True or false? Like old times?”

“I totally forgot about true or false.” She airily laughs, “Riley was a fuckin’ master at that game.”

“Right? I still don’t know how she lied that well.” You giggle, straightening your posture. “Okay, you first.”

“Alright, um…” She thinks, looking around the room. A few seconds pass before she looks back to you, an idea finally hitting her. “True or false, I’ve seen a giraffe before.”

You scoff, not remembering her making the game so simple.

“Easy, false. C’mon, give me a hard one.”

She doesn’t respond, only giving you a look.

“No fucking way…” Your smile drops. Hers only grows. “No fucking way!”

She bursts into laughter.

“Ellie! You saw a real giraffe?”

She nods, a grin wide on her face. “We were on top of a building, me and Joel. I fed it and all, it was fuckin’ amazing.”

You chuckle, astonished by how much she’s lived since she left.

“I can’t believe that, honestly.”

“It was crazy.” She aggress. “Your turn.”

“Okay. True or false, I own a taxidermied clicker head.”

“Yea fucking right. You don’t have the balls.”

You linger, considering lying just to seem cooler. But she’d never believe it.

“Fine. You’re right, I don’t.” You admit.

“I knew it.”

“I just want something as cool as seeing a giraffe, man! This is so unfair!”

“One to zero, baby.” She taunts. “Now, true or false…I’m immune.” She says as if she’s revealed the biggest secret ever.

You blankly stare, almost spitting out your answer. But you pause, squinting at her.

“You seriously have to think about this?”

“I don’t know…” You examine, “This might be a trick question.”

“Nope.” She shakes her head. “Nothing tricky about it.”

You think hard, trying to imagine any way she could twist this.

“Come on, say your answer!” She urges you, placing her hands on your knees and shaking.

“I’m scared!” You laugh.

“It’s so freaking easy!”

“Okay, okay!” You brush her off. “I’ve come to a conclusion.”

She waits eagerly, a wide smile on her face.

“My answer is…False.”

“What!?” She whisper yells. “Why?”

“Because you never said what you’re immune to, right? Could be venom, fevers, anything.”

Ellie removes her hands from your knees and covers her face.

“Dammit.” She sighs, defeated.

“Yes!” You throw your arms in the air. “I knew it!”

“How did you know?” She looks at you.

“I just know you too well, you’re getting predictable Williams.” You shrug.

“Whatever.” She rolls her eyes, “Go.”

“Okay…” You mischievously rub your hands together, thinking of something outlandish but also believable. “Alright, true of false, I broke my finger after escaping and it healed all gross and crooked and shit."

You await her reaction, knowing that this is a hard one to be able to spot. So as not to give her any hints, you hide your hands in your lap.

But Ellie isn’t smiling anymore. Her face has dropped and she’s now staring at her lap, zoning out like the did in the demolished building.

“Ellie?” You look closer.

She doesn’t answer, that look on her face again, as if she’s recalling a memory. Her breathing begins to heavy.

“Ellie, I was kidding. I totally made that shit up.”

Her eyes search before finding yours. She still doesn’t seem all the way there as she barely acknowledges you.

“Oh.” She dully laughs. “Actually, I am getting a little tired now. I’m just gonna…”

She scoots off of the bed and heads toward the door, making you jump up behind her. She’s just reached the doorknob as you catch up.

“Wait, wait, wait. Ellie.” You spin her around. Your heart sinks when you see tears swelling in her eyes. You shake your head in confusion. “What is it? What’d I say?”

“Nothing, I-“ She quickly wipes her tears away. “Jesus, I don’t know why I’m crying.”

“Ellie.” You deadpan, knowing something’s wrong. You decide to let it all out. Tell her what you’ve noticed seen and pray she gives you some explanation.

“I’ve noticed you…close up, when I say certain things. Worse than normal.” You whisper, tip toeing around it like you’re walking on eggshells. She looks at her feet, the pain in her face only measurable to when she lost Riley. It’s rips you up inside to see her struggling in silence like this.

“I don’t wanna pry, Ellie.” You continue. “And if you don’t want to, you don’t have to; But if something happened after you left…you know you can tell me, right?”

Her gaze stays on the floor and you fear that you went too far. Your hands stay on her shoulders and you feel them begin to quiver.

What the hell has her so scared?

“During winter in Colorado…” She begins, her voice shaking. “There was a man, we had killed one of his men. Joel was too sick to fight, he had an infection. He took me back to his camp and put me in a cage - like a jail. He told me that they…” She trails off, her face contorting in pain as she reminisces. “That they eat people.”

You listen in horror as she describes the story, tears continuously hitting the floor as her shoulders come to a full on tremble.

“He said he admired my violence, thought I’d work with him. I broke his finger. He didn’t see me as a partner after that, he saw me as meat. As food for his people.”

You close your eyes, seeing how bad you fucked up by bringing up the topic. Your hands slide from her shoulders to her fidgeting hands, holding them as they shake uncontrollably.

“I fought them so hard. I killed his butcher, set his cabin on fire. And when I tried to get away he…” Her tears flow harder. She shakes her head like she’s trying her best to get it out. “He got on top of me. He said fighting was his favorite part, and ‘there’s no fear in love.’ He- He tried to-“

“Shh, Ellie.” You pull her into a hug, her arms wrapped around your torso. Her entire body convulses as she sobs into your shoulder, squeezing you tight. You stroke her hair, attempting to hide how murderous the story made you feel. If you ever ran into the mother fucker who touched her…

“Every time I close my eyes I feel like he’s- Like something coming to get me.” She cries, barely audible through her weeps.

You pull away from the hug and press your forehead to hers, looking her in the eye as you cradle her face.

“He’s gone now, right?” You confirm.

She nods, sniffling.

“He’ll never hurt you again. No one will.” You assure her. “You’re safe here.”

She quickly shakes her head, disagreeing with you as her once graceful face is now stained red.

“I’m never fucking safe.” She says so quietly that you almost miss it. But you don’t.

You pull back, your faces still intensely close to each other as your hands stay cupping her cheeks.

“I’m right here. And he’s out there.” You point to the door. “I don’t know much, but when I see the way Joel looks at you, I have no doubt in my mind that he’d give his life for yours. We both would, Ellie. You are safe with me. Always.” You urge, tears now falling from your eyes also.

She searches your face for any signs of doubt or hesitation, but finds none. Every word you’re saying, you mean with everything you have. If you were given a gun and had to choose between you and her right here, right now, you wouldn’t think twice.

Ellie just hardly nods, having no choice but to believe you.

“Tell me.” You say.

“Wh-“

“That you’re safe. Say it and believe it.”

“I-“ She stammers.

You worry that she doesn’t take your word for the truth, but you’re quickly cut off. Ellie brings her hands to your face and pulls you closer, your lips meeting in a soft kiss. You don’t reject it, at all. You’d stay like this for the rest of your life if she allowed it. You were Ellie Williams’ for as long as she’d have you.

She pulls back, her eyes wide and surprised at what she just did.

She removes her hands from your cheeks and you follow suit.

“Shit.” She exhales, wiping her tears. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I did that. I just-“

“Don’t ever apologize to me, Ellie.” You insist. You don’t give her a chance to respond before pulling her in for another kiss, quicker this time. You love the feel of her on your lips, you love the feel of her being close to you. Being safe with you.

You pull away this time, admiring how beautiful she is, even with her tear ridden cheeks.

“I promise you, no matter what it takes, I will keep you safe.”

She doesn’t search for hesitance this time. All doubts have been wiped from her mind as she smiles. A real, genuine smile.

——

The sun comes through the windows and heats up your skin, forcing you awake. You look to your right to see Ellie still fast asleep beside you, a sight that you pray you get to see for the rest of your life. You roll out of bed, your arm sore from the clicker from yesterday.

You swing open the bedroom door to see Joel standing in front of the couch, packing his stuff. He turns, noticing you in the doorway.

“Hey.” He nods, rotating so that he’s facing you.

“Hey.” You reply, noticing all of the food cans now packed in his bag. “We hitting the road?”

“Yea, we need to get to the hospital as soon as possible. We’ve taken enough detours.”

“Oh. Well, Ellie’s still asleep. I’ll wake her and then we can go.” You tell him, turning to walk back into the bedroom.

“Wait.” He stops you, you spin back around.

“Hm?”

He stops loading his pack and turns his full attention to you, making you feel a bit nervous after your last encounter with him.

“You know- uh, the walls are thin. And sleep is hard to come by…” He begins.

Oh god.

“I heard what was said in there last night.”

You don’t know if you feel creeped on or embarrassed that he knows you kissed his daughter.

“Oh…um-“

“I just wanted to say thanks, you know? For being a good friend.” He nods as if he’s sticking to a script he’s made in his head for this. “I didn’t exactly know how to approach her about…all of it.”

You shake your head, hoping he missed the kiss part.

“Nothing to thank me for.” You shrug, “She means just as much to me as she does to you.”

“Right.”

You exhale, the awkwardness in the room building.

“That all?” You raise your brows.

“Yep.” He clears his throat, just as uncomfortable as you.

“Cool.” You give him one last nod before closing the door.

…

The three of you have packed all of your stuff and are almost out of the building when you hear a sound that never fails to send chills through your body.

Soft clicks echo through the empty hallway leading to outside. A clicker with a fungus erupted head wanders in the sun, dormant as it waits for a sound to set it off. Ellie slaps a hand over her mouth, presumably not trusting herself to stay quiet.

Joel, in front of both of you, looks back with a finger over his lips. You don’t have the ammo or desire to fight it right now, so the two of you silently agree.

You stay close to the wall and low to the ground, watching your every step so as not to step on anything that’ll alert it to your existence. You’re right behind it as Joel steps out of the concrete building and onto the grass. He stays there, a gun pointed to the clicker’s head as he signals for you two to pass him. You do as you’re told, scurrying behind him as Joel backs away slowly.

Once you’ve made it out of ear shot of the monster, Joel finally turns around.

“That was the scariest shit of my life.” Ellie pants, the noon sun beaming extra hot today.

“I’ve never been that close to one before.”

Both Ellie and Joel turn to ogle you.

“Without it attacking me, guys.” You roll your eyes.

Joel picks a paper map from Ellie’s book bag pocket. He opens and turns it a little before finding where you are.

“We should only be a few hours out.” He walks with his head down as you re-enter the scrapyard from yesterday. “With luck, we’ll be there while the sun is still high.”

“Don’t wish that,” Ellie groans, “This sun is hell.”

You’re walking on Joel’s right side, Ellie on the left, when you hear something roll to your feet. All three of you look back to see a small metal shell on the ground. You don’t have time to do anything before Joel grabs the both of you and pulls you down.

You don’t feel the grenade detonate, only the instantaneous ringing in your ears as your vision blurs. Behind that, you hear Joel’s faint calls for Ellie, but your sight is overtaken with black dots before you can act.

——

Your head aches as you come to. Your eyes reluctantly open to see a dimly lit room with all types of medical supplies on the wall. Two guards and a woman stand at the doorway, looking down at something. You shift your gaze to see Joel on the floor.

“Joel?” You ask, barely able to hear yourself.

“Marlene…” He murmurs to the woman standing over him. “You don’t understand”

“I do.” She says. “I was there when she was born, Joel.”

You can’t comprehend anything that’s going on. You don’t know where you are or who these people are, but that doesn’t change the one question that you have.

“Joel, where’s Ellie?” You speak, louder this time.

They all turn to look at you, Joel standing to his feet but not turning around.

“Mia, stay there.” He demands. The hostility in the room tells you to do exactly what he says.

The woman, Marlene, stares at you, looking you up and down before stepping forward, seemingly enamored by your existence. But Joel stands in front of her, blocking her from you.

“Move out of my way.” She orders.

“She’s got nothing to do with this.”

“You’re in no position to fight me right now. If I was going to hurt her, I wouldn’t have brought her all the way here to do it.” She explains. “Move.”

She attempts to get around him again but for the second time, he gets in her way. The two men with guns raise them at Joel’s head, making you tense. Marlene tries to get to you for third time, and this time, Joel stays put; but not without eyeing her down.

You sit up, your legs hanging off the side of the platform as she towers over you. You unconsciously cower under her gaze as Joel watches. She roughly grabs your left arm and pulls it out toward her.

“Hey!” You pull back, but she holds it firm in place.

There’s no reason for her to be looking at that arm, as the tattoo is on your right. Marlene kneels to be level with you, looking closely at the star shaped birthmark on your forearm. You look from your arm to her, confused as to what she’s meaning to do.

She lets go and rolls up the sleeve on her left arm, placing it beside yours. You do a double take, initially not noticing the almost identical mark on her. You blink in puzzlement. Either this is one hell of a coincidence, or this woman is related to you in someway. She looks away from your arms and up at you, meeting your gaze.

Marlene brings a hand to your cheek, her eyes glossing over as she strokes it with her thumb.

“I thought I’d never meet you again…” She shakes her head in astonishment.

Your breathing heavies as the room’s attention is on you. You have no idea what the hell to make of this and the question of where your friend is slowly slips from your mind, as it’s replaced with another.

Who is Marlene?

She removes her hand from your cheek and stands, pulling you out of the trance. Marlene clears her throat as she looks back at Joel, who’s staring down at you, just as amazed and confused as you are.

“Walk him out to the highway, leave him there with his pack.” She commands the guards. They both grab one of his arms, but his stare is fixated on you. “And give him this.” She pulls out a pocketknife that’s all too familiar.

They begin walking him out of the room as you slowly stand up.

“Wait. No, Joel-“

“And if he tries anything…” She adds as they walk him out of the room, “Shoot him.”

They nod, taking him out into the hallway as Marlene turns back to you.

“Wait!” You lunge for the door. But she’s grabbed hold of you before you could protest. “Please, don’t take him! Joel!” You shout.

A strange building, a missing Ellie, and a shunned Joel. The odds are far from in your favor. You’d rather look weak and beg for Joel now, than keep your pride and be in this lions den alone.

The men walk Joel out of your sight and your screams come to a quiet. You look at the woman in front of you, shoving her hands off of your shoulders.

“I want to see Ellie.” You pant, hands balled into fists by your sides.

“We’re not seeing Ellie right now.” She says calmly, pissing you off even more. You’re about to make a smart remark when she grabs your hand and pulls you toward the door, heading the opposite way of where they took Joel.

“What the f- Let go of me you bitch! Where is Ellie?!” You claw to get her hand off as she drags you across the hall. “Let go!”

“We need to talk.” She keeps walking through the officer lined halls as you pull away.

“I don’t wanna fucking talk to you! Let go of me!”

Marlene ignores you as the two of you enter an empty hospital room. She throws you toward the bed, shutting and locking the door behind her.

“What the f-“

“Sit.” She points to the hospice bed.

You look past her and out of the small door widow. No signs of Joel, no signs of Ellie, only cowards with rifles.

You huff, having no choice but to do what she says. You lift yourself onto the flimsy cot, sitting criss cross with a less than elated look on your face. Marlene nears you, pulling up a rolling stool to sit right in front of you, far too close for comfort.

She sighs, looking up to you.

“Do you know who I am?”

You stay silent, sending her straight fuck you eyes. She slightly nods, expecting nothing less of you.

“I had this friend, Anna.” She continues. “Knew her since we were kids, she went through the fall of the world with me. She was the first person to believe in the Fireflies, the only one who really thought we stood a chance against FEDRA.”

So these are Fireflies. Awesome, now you’re more fucked than you were with Luca.

“We were pregnant together. Stayed at the Boston safe house until she had Ellie…She was bit just before.”

She looks into space like she’s recalling the story to herself rather than you. The mention of Ellie’s name has caught your attention as you’re now looking at her with much more interest.

“You were born shortly after that. I tried raising you with the Fireflies, seeing if sending you away was really the best option. And it worked, the two of you were as happy as I could’ve asked for…” She shrugs. “But when I had a little boy, I knew it was time to let go. I had to send the three of you away, I had to. Two kids and a newborn had no place in a life like that…”

You stare at her, so many thoughts going through your head that you couldn’t pick an emotion to feel. If she’s saying what you think she is, you’re…sad. Angry, maybe. The tears threatening to fall from your eyes don’t help decipher what you’re feeling.

You stop your lip from quivering and blink back the tears, not planning on showing this woman how much she just affected you.

“…I want to see Ellie.” You look to your lap, that being the one and only thing that you were certain of right now.

“I’m your mother, Mia.”

You shake your head, looking to the side as you scoff.

“What?” Marlene asks, following your eyes.

“You’re not my mother.” You say, your words moving faster than your brain can. “You birthed me, maybe. But that’s all you did.”

“What are you talking about?”

You finally look her in the eyes, regretting it immediately after as you see the genuine concern she has for you.

“You gave up on me. On all of us. And when you had to step up and be a fucking mother, you gave us to FEDRA, of all people.”

She shakes her head, grabbing your hands.

“I did what I did to keep you safe.”

“Yea, well look how fuckin’ well that turned out.” A tear unconsciously falls down your cheek, your voice shaking.

She swallows hard, clearly offended by what you said.

“Look, I know you don’t think I deserve it, but I expect some sort of respect from you. The same way I do everyone else.”

You let out a laugh louder than intended at the bizarrity of her request.

“If that’s what you’re waiting on then we’ll be here for a while.” You coldly sneer. “I told you what I want.”

Marlene’s gaze lingers, your hands still in hers as you’re now certain that you’re angry. Angry that she sent you away, angry that she thinks she can start back where she left off, and angry that she won’t let you fucking see Ellie.

“God, I see myself in you.”

You cringe, feeling disgusted in hopes that her words won’t break down the barrier that you’ve built against her.

“Listen, I know you’re confused and scared-“

“I’m not scared of you.” You assure her.

“Not of me.” She agrees. “For your friends.”

You look away. She doesn’t know anything, certainly not about you or your friends. You’d appreciate it if she’d stop talking about them.

“I want to help you, Mia. You don’t have to like me, you don’t have to accept me. But I’m going to love you, regardless of what you want. I’ve always loved you, even when I thought I’d never see you or your brother again. All I’d ever think about was you, Ellie, and Luca. Always.”

The tears make a comeback. Your breath trembles as you reluctantly listen to every word she says. The pathetic longing for someone to love you the way she claims she does overrides the anger that you have for her absence. It’s out of your character, it goes against anything you’ve ever said…but you believe her. And you want her to be telling the truth. God forgive you for wanting a real family.

And that’s the reason you have to tell her about her son.

“Luca’s gone…” You softly tell her. “They took him.”

She lowers her head, “I know.”

You shoot up, your sadness now replaced with eager curiosity.

“What?”

“I keep tabs on FEDRA. I’ve listened to their death and runaway reports on the radio every day since I sent the three of you. If they had said your names when they first found you, I would’ve-“

“Where is Luca?” You cut her off, not having the time nor patience for an explanation. “Is he alive?”

“It’s-“

Her sentence is knocked short by the sound of bullets flying in the halls. Soldiers immediately begin yelling to each other as they raise their weapons.

Marlene wastes no time as she grabs your arm and unlocks the door. She shoves through the line of men, arriving at a broom closet midway through the hall.

“What are you-“

“You’ll be safe in here.” She pulls it open, locking it from the outside before pushing you in.

“What? No! Don’t leave me here-“

“You stay here, you stay quiet, and you wait for me to come back.”

The door is shut in your face before you can respond. The dim and flickering overhead light mixed with the molding cleaning supplies makes for a less than ideal hiding spot. You immediately go to leave, already feeling too claustrophobic. But the knob doesn’t move.

The door has no interior lock to let you out. Your heart starts racing as you quickly go into panic mode, shaking the handle and banging on the wood as hard as you can.

“Let me out! Please, I can’t stay in here!” You yell for anyone to hear.

All you get in response is yelled orders and heavy boots passing by.

The constant noise hasn’t let up. You feel like it’s been years, when in reality, it couldn’t have been more than 5 minutes.

You’ve resorted to breaking the door down, as no one is coming to get you. The sound of bodies thudding and rounds firing only spikes your anxiety.

You break the glass case with a broomstick before pulling the heavy fire extinguisher out of its cage. You let out a loud grunt before slamming it down on the doorknob over and over. You feel it getting looser with every blow.

The bashing only comes to a halt when you realize that the only sound you hear is your heavy breathing. The chaos outside of the door has gone quiet, eerily quiet. You can’t tell if the sound of stepped on glass is coming from inside or outside of the closet.

Just in case, you raise the extinguisher in defense as the sound nears you. Your heart skips a beat when you hear the door lock unlatching. In the span of a few seconds you prepare yourself to fight whatever shooting bastard is coming for you.

The light of the hallway beams in and you’re moments away from bashing the gunman’s head in…but you don’t. In fact, you’ve never been more relieved to see a man holding a gun in your life.

“Joel?” You drop the weapon, observing his bloodstained frame. “What the-“

He puts a finger over his lips, shushing you before signaling to follow him. You do as you’re told, shutting the closet door, never to be locked in again.

Down the hall, you see a soldier pointing his weapon in front of him. It’s clear that he thinks Joel is coming from that way, and you can’t help but feel a little bad at how oblivious he is.

Joel silently lets his rifle rest around his torso, holding his knife in it’s place. You stay put as he continues to stealthily creep up on the man.

When he finally gets close enough, he hooks an arm around the guard’s throat, slitting it in one swift motion. You stand astounded, never having seen Joel act like that as the soldier falls to the ground. He silently grasps at his throat, his blood making a gargling sound as he tries to breathe. Your jaw is dropped, frozen in place as Joel waves you to continue following him. You do, carefully stepping over the twitching body of the man.

You follow him into a stairwell as you try to man up, having trouble comprehending what’s happened in the last hour. Your interrogations are at the tip of your tongue just when you see a gun pointed at the two of you.

The soldier fires. Joel pushes you behind him as the bullet whizzes past you, inches away from grazing your ear. He cocks his gun back before squeezing the trigger, the target buckling over immediately. Joel keeps it pointed as you slip behind him, stepping over yet another dead body.

The two of you begin down a dimly lit hallway, your shoes now leaving bloody footprints as you walk.

“Joel, what the hell are we doing? Have you found Ellie?” You whisper.

He doesn’t answer. He’s fixated on a bright room at the back of the hospital. He drops his assault rifle once again, this time replacing it with a handgun. He holds it low as you finally can see what’s in the room.

Inside, you see a team of two woman and a man operating. Upon closer inspection, your heart sinks. Ellie lays on the bed unconscious, the cleanest you’ve ever seen her.

“Wh- What are they doing?” You frantically ask, looking to Joel for any type of help.

He doesn’t look back at you, staring at Ellie. The words he speaks next are said so coldly and blankly that it scares you more than any clicker ever could.

“Killing her.” He states.

Joel leaves you colorless in the face, stumbling for something to say as he opens the door. You stay outside, watching and listening.

“Unhook her.”

The three medics jump as they turn to face an expressionless Joel. The surgeon slowly steps forward, looking between Joel and Ellie.

“How did you get in here?”

“I said unhook her.” Joel repeats, now pointing the gun at him.

He looks conflicted. The murderous motherfucker who’s killing Ellie looks confused with a gun in his face. Like he doesn’t understand why anyone would try to save her.

He picks up a scalpel, looking pathetic as he holds it up to Joel’s gun.

“I won’t let you take her.”

And he’s on the floor. Not a second after he spoke, Joel’s bullet was lodged into his face like it was nothing. And now that you know what his plan was, you can’t say you would’ve done it any differently.

The nurses scream, their hands in the air.

“Unhook her.” He demands once again over the women’s panicked breathing. “Move!”

“Oh my god.” They mumble as they pull all of the wires out of Ellie. You cringe as her arm bleeds when the IV is taken out, wanting nothing more than to wake her up and tell her she’s safe.

All you ever wanted for her was to be safe. You promised her.

“Turn around.” He tells them. They do without hesitation. Joel nears Ellie, slipping a hand under her knees and head before lifting her up.

You sigh a breath of relief, knowing that she’s in the safest hands that she can be in.

Still shaken up, you finally enter the room. Joel carries Ellie toward the door as you retrieve her pack from the ground.

“What were they doing to her?” You ask quietly, standing on your tip toes to examine Ellie closer.

“They were using her brain.” He explains as the elevator door slides open. “Wanted her because she’s immune. She wouldn’t have survived it.”

That doesn’t make any sense. Marlene was just telling you how much she loved Ellie, how she was there when Ellie was born. No way in hell she’d allow her to die.

After a few moments the elevator door opens to a parking garage, a special guest waiting for you there. Marlene’s gun is pointed straight at the three of you.

“You can’t keep her safe forever.” She blurts out.

The hell you can’t.

“No matter how hard you try, no matter how many people you kill, she’s going to grow up, Joel.” She says as Joel and you walk forward. “You’ll die, Mia will leave…then what? How long until the elements of this fucked up world kill her? A fucked up world that you could’ve saved.”

‘Mia will leave.’

She’s learned less about you than you’d hoped. The simple fact that your own mother points a gun in your face goes against every word she said in the hospital room. Now you can only hope that she doesn’t do some shit that she’ll regret.

“Maybe.” Joel nods, “But it’s not for you to decide.”

“Or you.” She snaps back.

She looks to Ellie, her gaze not softening in the slightest. She doesn’t love her. She doesn’t love you. And you were a fool to think she could.

“What would she decide, Joel? ‘Cause I think she’d wanna do what’s right. And you know it.”

You look over to Ellie in Joel’s arms. Looking at her, you know Marlene’s right. Ellie wouldn’t choose this, any of this. She’d give her life for the lives of thousands in a heartbeat, you know that.

But Ellie isn’t here to make a choice. And you’ll be dammed if you allow anyone to make it for her.

“It’s not too late. Even now. Even after what you’ve done, after what you’ve let her see.” She gestures to you, lowering her gun. “We can still find a way.”

She’s right. You can’t deny the fact that a world without compromise is a world that won’t get better. Joel won’t like it, of course. But there’s no other way to end this for everyone. Your ‘we have to adjust,’ mentality has faded. It faded the moment you realized that everything and everyone is a threat to the people you love at all times. You can’t adjust to that.

“Joel…” You whisper. He looks at you, realizing that you’re taking Marlene’s side.

He returns his gaze to Ellie, seemingly weighing his options, looking just as confused at the surgeon did minutes ago.

Marlene holds her hands in the air, “We can forgive-“

You jump as the shot echoes through the garage. Marlene goes down, clutching her abdomen.

“No!” You scream before you can stop yourself. You rush over to her, laying her on her back and pressing on her wound. “No, no, no.”

You hear Joel walk away, the car door opening behind you.

He doesn’t care. Not in the slightest. You see that now.

You don’t have the time to be angry with him yet as you try to save your mother from dying. Tears fall freely from the both of you.

“I-“ You scramble for something to say. What can you say? What are the right words to say to your dying mother?

She doesn’t say anything, only uses what’s left of her strength to unlatch the walkie from her jeans. You recognize it from earlier, the radio the Fireflies use to infiltrate on FEDRA traffic. She pulls your bloody hand from her stomach and wraps it around the walkie.

“What- What are you…”

“Luca. He’s…” She trails off, almost inaudibly.

Your vision is blurry from the tears blocking it as you cradle her head with your free hand, bringing your ear closer to her.

“What’d you say?”

“…Boston.” She finally gets out.

Luca’s supposed to be in Kansas. Why would he be in Boston, where the two of you ran from. One thing about FEDRA is that they don’t take runaways lightly. You’d assumed he was being held far away and pressed for information on you. “Integration preparation,” they called it. Torture.

Marlene goes quiet and you see her looking over your shoulder.

“Wait, wait, wait.” She cries.

You turn and face Joel, attempting to shield as much of Marlene’s body from him as you can. Her breaths get shallower and shallower and the ability to beg for her own life ceases. So you do it for her.

“Joel, please.” You sob, looking back at him. “Just let her go.”

He wears the same blank face, horrifying now that you question if he’s on your side or not. He pauses, his eyes shifting between you and a dying Marlene.

“She’ll just come after her.” He states, raising his gun.

“No.” You beg. “Joel, no! Don’t-“

He shoots.

All of your breath escapes your body at that very moment. Time seems to move in slow motion as you look down at the lifeless body in your arms. You shake her, pleading for her to wake up. Her body is limp, her chest no longer rising and falling.

It’s over.

You feel two hands grab your arms and pull you to your feet. All of the fury you feel clusters into a ball to be let out at one target. The man who saved your life, the man who Ellie trusts most…the man who’s dragging you away from your mothers dead body.

“Get the fuck off of me!” You scream louder than you ever have before. “Let go of me, Joel!”

A mixture of shouts and sobs don’t detour him in the slightest as he opens the car door. You let out wail after wail, your fight for him not dying down as the weight of today hits you…

——

Your throat burns from screaming. The sun has now risen and you watch the once colorful world pass by. Ellie is laying her head in your lap, barely conscious as she asks Joel questions about the events of last night.

You stay silent as he feeds her lies. He tells her how there were more immunes like her and that the doctors have stopped looking for a cure.

Your hands have squeezed into balls as the sound of him shooting Marlene replays over and over in your head. You stroke Ellie’s hair with your free hand as she believes the words coming out of this liar.

And finally, she asks the burning question.

“…Is Marlene okay?”

You stop stroking her hair, peering into the rear view mirror to see Joel already looking back at you. You quickly look away, not trusting yourself not to stab him the moment he stops the car. Ellie looks up at you as she waits for Joel’s response. You try to hide the murderous thoughts on your face, but you don’t know how well that works.

“You’re safe.” He tells her. “I’m taking us home.”

Ellie accepts it as the truth, closing her eyes and adjusting her position as she falls back asleep.

But you can’t. You know that as long as you’re with him, you’re far from home. And the dried blood covering your hand proves that you are not safe.

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