#tl;dr nothing too important
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jewishcissiekj · 5 months ago
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HEAD IN HANDS including trade paperbacks and hardcovers (kinda unfair but doesn't add much) I've read 683 marvel star wars comics. which is just canon stuff. not even with dark horse. no wonder i don't remember the plot of 70% of that
looked at my league of comic geeks statistics and it told me I read 882 marvel comics and i got scared because I DID NOT read 882 marvel comics where did that come from THEN i remembered the canon Star Wars comics were published under marvel so it made more sense. still it's 882 comics that's odd. turns out i had a small Viv Vision/Champions phase somewhen last year and read at least 120 comics with her. that's still 700 star wars comics but it makes slightly more sense. remember when i used to actually read comics that was funny wasn't it
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magnusmodig · 5 months ago
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||. was browsing through tags of a comic thor post and found this beauty in someone's tags:
i love the acknowledgement of odin as a godking above father & how that’s hurt thor not just loki
obviously, I won't name the person's reblog on this blog but it's something I've always felt is largely true about the mcu odinfam situation, particularly where the father and the boys are involved.
Odin's parenting style (being strict, and the all-father above just a father), hurt Thor just as much as Loki. They were both hurt by their parents and especially in vying for their father's approval. (aka: his affections, because really any child desperate for their parent's attention, approval, pride is really just craving unconditional love.) People seem hard pressed to believe that this sort of pain was exclusive to Loki... which I fundamentally don't understand. (Need I remind everyone that Odin didn't just say "you're unworthy to call yourself a king and a hero bc you're being selfish in your ambitions"... which is true. He also got a good, walloping "you are unworthy of the loved ones you have betrayed" TO HIS FACE before being stripped of his powers and banished to some backwater planet for an indefinite amount of time...)
The reality of the situation is Loki always had Frigga to lean on, confide in, and be in his corner. Even if it was off-screen, truth is that he told Frigga what he learned about being a Frost Giant the first chance he got. He confided in her his worry for Odin's health ("i never get used to seeing him like this"). She actively expresses support and validation in front of him in a way that Loki at least positively acknowledges even if he doesn't always receive the words, and while I don't believe Thor wouldn't have gained the same solace from his mother, I am of the opinion - based on (this deleted scene from "THOR") in particular - that she would give support in the same way she would with Loki ... and it never landed with Thor. Because Thor is not Loki. And Frigga doesn't always know how to speak to Thor so Thor can hear her.
So, really at the end of the day, whether it was true or not, Thor only had himself to emotionally rely on. Coupled then with being primarily under the express tutelage of an extraordinarily strict father who was priming Thor to uphold his own legacy, (apparently not be anything like Hela despite the two kids being polar opposites) and 'never seek out war but must always be ready for it' and then you get a sentiment that ultimately can be summarized in Thor's words at the end of Dark World when he comments his reason for surrendering his birthright of his own volition: "I would rather be a good man than a great king." (which, sidebar, but I am entirely convinced is Thor commenting on his father's way of ruling, his father's way of parenting, his father's way of being. And quite frankly, no, I don't think the real Odin would ever let Thor give up his birthright to go live on Earth when Odin is old, dying, and the whole of Asgard is primed and ready to follow Thor as their new All-Father.)
alt., in the words of comic!thor his (extremely mixed) opinion of Odin:
"A hard god, my father, but one who would move heaven and earth for his children. And did , quite literally, on many occasions. From Odin, I learned command. I learned the ways of the worlds and the godly arts of war."
#(not really a full meta or w/e bc one day i should really go through the entire 2 thor films and compile)#(all of my thoughts on every thor/odin interaction but tl;dr their relationship is a mess.)#( meta . ) — son of cosmos . lightning flows through thy veins .#my meta#(thor loves him and he wants to make him proud but he also wants to be nothing like him...)#(all because thor's instinct is to follow his heart - and odin's is to follow his head. those two things are at conflict with one another.)#(and yet despite everything thor is still that same little boy-)#(-who looked up at his father and saw this legendary hero. a true warrior. the pride of all of asgard who is a mighty hero and great king)#(who was able to keep bad people in line by being SO strong they were scared to oppose him and was still the wisest in all of asgard-)#((besides his mother))-#(because he knew better than to seek out war without a good reason)#(imo keeping true to that and adding in the element of ... //sighs loudly// h e l a -- means delving into thor's psyche and figuring out-)#(-at what point does his adoration of odin breed resentment and insecurity and subservience bc-)#(lbr it's all there. it's just not as loud as loki's literal crying and screaming about his daddy issues)#(which isn't shade to loki he just literally screams and cries about it. thor ....very rarely speaks his true heart about this topic.)#( ooc . ) — stories that leap from the page .#long post#(sorry for not putting it under a read more folks but it's too important to me)
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cuephrase · 6 months ago
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Most Disliked Robin Results!!
at long last, (some of) the data you've all been waiting for.
for those of you who are new, i put out a questionnaire to gather data in the interest of discovering if my personal hypothesis that knowing someone's #1 Robin tells you nothing really, but knowing their top two, now that gives you insight. i have since closed that questionnaire, and we are in the data crunching stage. in this anon ask, anon was curious which Robin was getting the most dislike votes. i shared the current numbers w/o revealing who was getting which votes, and invited y'all to vote for which Robin you thought was getting the most dislike votes.
these were the results of the prediction poll:
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before i share the final results, with 745 responses, a disclaimer:
the data pool is extremely small in the grand scheme of things!! this data cannot be used to make definitive claims about fandom at large. this is simply what we observed from the small group of fans, predominantly from tumblr, who filled out my questionnaire. cool? cool.
for our purposes, a "Stan" is someone who marked X Robin as their #1 fave Robin, and a "Fan" is someone who marked X Robin in their top two. additionally, whenever you see a top two Duo, for example, Dick & Damian, the character mentioned first is that person's #1. so Dick & Damian duos are distinct from Damian & Dick duos!!
for the non-math nerds, the 95% CI*, or 95% Confidence Interval is there to show that if we were to poll a random 745 responders again, from the same communities, we're about 95% sure the true value is somewhere in here range. *this is a bit of a simplification, but uh, i am not a math teacher + google is free. (i thought about finding a snappy youtube vid but as soon as they started talking math i zoned out whoops.)
finally a big, big thank you to @chinajousama and @tevyaa for their data-crunching + formatting!! none of this would have happened nearly as quickly (or successfully) without them!! 🫶
overall dislike
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raw count
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converted to percentages with 95% CI
the most important takeaway here, imo, is that ~74% do not dislike any Robin. (shoutout to the Jason & Steph Duo who disliked Dick, Tim, and Damian tho, iconic.)
also, it is not at all what tumblr predicted!! tumblr predicted that dick would be least disliked (by virtue of him getting the least votes) and that's...about all that was correct from the prediction poll.
now how does this breakdown depending on Stans/Fans/Duos?
Stans' dislike (Y is responders #1 Robin)
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raw count
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converted to percentages with 95% CI
"hey!!" you say, "the math is not mathing- if i add up the bottom row i get 774/104%, not 745/100%." correct!! this is because responders were able to dislike more than one Robin.
if we gave the percentages for each row of the very first chart, (the one that lays out how people voted in all the permutations), those percents would add up to 100%. but since we're only breaking it down between the Robins, there's overlap. 14.8% of everyone disliked Tim, that number is true. however, that 14.8% of Tim Dislikers includes people who also disliked other Robins- it's not the percentage of people who exclusively dislike Tim.
tl;dr: it doesn't add up, but the math is right, trust.
"okay, fine, but why don't you have a 95% CI for everyone?" if the sample group was too small to make a prediction (received less than 5 responses), we decided not to give one because there's simply not enough data to give one worth having. tl;dr, if there's a 0.00%* in the 95% CI chart, don't read into those stats too hard!!
Fans' dislike (Y is in responder's top duo)
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raw count
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converted to percentages with 95% CI
already you can see some differences compared to the Stans' Dislikes- most percentages go up a bit, but a few go down.
now let's see what happens when we look at the breakdown over Duo's Dislike
Duo's dislike
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raw count
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converted to percentages with 95% CI
note the differences!! for instance, all Jason-first Duos are more likely to dislike Tim than the percentage given for Jason Stans, except for Jason & Tim duos, which duh, but also, Jason & Tim is the second most common Jason-first Duo, making up 25.3% of Jason-first Duos.
also!! Tim fans are the least likely to dislike overall, with 83.2% not disliking any Robin, however, Tim stans, specifically Tim & Dick Duos are the most likely to dislike Damian. (*cough* lingering Red Robin grudge, perhaps? *cough* Tim Stans: i can let a lot of shit go, but that. that i cannot. [i'm a Tim Stan, i'm allowed to tease them, okay?])
another crucial thing to point out here is that the percentages represent how likely Y Duo is to dislike X Robin. this distinction is significant because while it is correct to say that, (based off this data pool), Steph & Damian Duos are the most likely to dislike Tim, it is incorrect to say that most Tim dislikers are Steph & Damian Duos.
"huh??"
something, something squares and rectangles If you grab a random Steph & Damian Duo responder, they are the most likely out of all the Duo responders to dislike Tim. However, if you were to grab a random Tim Disliker responder, the odds of that responder being a Steph & Damian Duo are pretty low.
by number, Dick & Damian Duos make up the biggest portion of Tim Dislikers (26 out of 110 votes). however, they also make up the biggest portion of responders overall with 92 votes, whereas Steph & Damian only got 22.
(side note, if you're like, whoa but Dick & Jason won the tumblr poll- overall, there were more responders that had Dick and Jason in their top 2, however they were split 82/64 and Dick and Damian was split 92/29. those splits are also super interesting to see, bc some are pretty even and others aren't.)
okay, so what's the takeaway here? repeat after me: everybody 👏hates 👏 Tim!! 👏 loud incorrect buzzer yeah, no so the main takeaway here is that so far, it's looking like there is visible variation depending on a Stan/Fan's Duo compared to Stan/Fan opinion. also, that most Robin fans don't dislike a Robin. you can relax, odds are blorbo is not under attack. unless you're a Tim stan. jk jk, i'm sorry, him having 14.8% dislikability is just hysterical to me, like do you see the social distancing, Jason is the second most disliked and Tim has more than double his numbers LMAO.
especially bc that 14.8% is just like, out of all responders, how likely Tim is to be disliked, right, follow me here, hehe. 110 of 223 dislike votes cast were for Tim, right, so of the dislike votes cast there is a ~49.3% chance that a dislike vote is a dislike Tim vote.
but!! if we condense that 223 (dislike votes cast/remember that 1 responder could dislike multiple) to 194 (the actual number of responders who disliked), then it's 110 out of 194, so if a Robin fan dislikes anyone, there is a ~56.7% that they dislike Tim.
try not to laugh at that, i dare you.
now, as a Tim stan, i think this makes sense because out of all the Robins, Tim has the most on panel interaction with every other Robin compared to the others, so like, if any Robin is going to show up and annoy you, odds are it's Timbo. factor in fanfic trends and uh...look, do i love Tim? yes. (i love them all, but that's beside the point.) do i think he's annoying af. also yes. it's part of the appeal, i mean hot people get it, i mean this data is not shocking to me but it is, clearly, deeply amusing. that being said, you might be under attack, because responders were wayyyy more likely to find a Robin Stan annoying than they were to dislike a Robin hehehe. sorry, sorry, i swear i'm not trying to shart shit. i mean, start shit. that was an honest typo but i'm so tired rn and it's funny so i'm leaving it, forgive me. what are your thoughts? any of this surprising to you, or does it track with your predictions? tysm for participating if you responded to the questionnaire!! and if you didn't, no worries, enjoy the Findings. please remember that the goal of this questionnaire/sharing the Findings is not to grade other fans on whether they're "good"/"bad"- discuss to your heart's content but let's try and keep the wank/bad faith takes to a minimum, yeah? thank youuuuu
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also enjoy this at a glance graph!! the bars are error bars, they represent that 95% CI :)
anyways!! i just threw a ton of data at you, if there's anything you would like to see me elaborate on/any questions you have, please feel free to send me an ask and we'll do our best to deliver!! there's truly so much to unpack here.
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thethingsnerd · 1 month ago
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I’ve been seeing some confusion over what Time meant in this panel
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A lot of people with (very good otherwise!) analysis posts seem to be writing it off as cryptic- just another Old Man Mystery.
HOWEVER this is actually fairly straightforward, if flowery, so let me explain.
Perception has its merit: in the immediate preceding panel, this one
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Wild is not only telling Time to believe in Twilight because the rancher is strong etc, he’s telling Time to consider Twilight’s feelings. Twilight isn’t dumb, there are several panels indicating that he’s getting fed up with, as Wild put it earlier, nothing but worried glances. This is the perception Time is talking about. It does matter to him that all the fuss is probably making Twilight feel untrusted.
Side note: I too have been on the other side of “death scare” and being treated like a fragile baby bird after I was back on my feet was worse than the actual scary parts. Personally.
But circumstances will take priority: back on track, with this statement, Time is basically reserving the right to be protective anyway.
Exaggeration, but the fact of their circumstances is that they are in an unknown dungeon, where any kind of boss monster or trap could be waiting for them, and the shadow is always a threat to consider. The chain is walled in with no way but forward, and while Twi is on his feet, he’s not 100% yet. No matter what else, the primary consideration is survival.
TL;DR Time is saying, “While I appreciate that Twilight’s feelings are important, his safety is even more important.”
Then he turns away dramatically. Because Time. Hope this helps someone!
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derww · 25 days ago
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TL;DR: 4C&Joker!Zam at Jingle JAM. Almost 6.5k words.
Disclaimer: PrinceZam brutally murders your fav people from the event (and more).
CW: Violence, deaths, non-graphic gore, suicidality
***
4C sees a figure coming up a hill – a yellow spot catches his eye instantly, and there is simply no one else here like it, and he raises his hand to finally, after too long an hour of an event, greet Zam in person.
 
He only needs a moment more to see the purple cloak and too much blood to be just his own. For a split second, 4C stops, and a freezing chill hits him to the bone. He immediately understands everything.
 
The cold is replaced by calmness and confidence. He knows the situation. There's nothing to worry about.
 
He waves at him.
 
– Hey, Zam!
 
Zam smiles brightly and waves back.
 
– Hey, 4C!
 
PrinceZam whispers to you: you know what to do.
 
There is complete chaos here: suspicious people appeared, no one understands anything, everyone is pulling each other in different directions, looking for solutions to the threats, and all this is mixed into an ear-crushing hubbub. And Zam... he just stands there, listening to people, watching as one of the team members climbs as high as possible, deciding to hide from hunters in the air.
 
Zam whispers to you: should I just kill them all here
 
He's not answering. He pulls people into conversation until they disperse into smaller groups. 
 
DTR, having broken away from the others, winds circles around them, and 4C mentally says goodbye to them. In the rush of the moment, he doesn't even feel sympathy. All of them are already doomed anyway.
 
– Imagine, I was able to make 11 people play a scene from Titanic, – he shares while they slowly walk in the opposite direction from the rest, and Zam tells his own adventures in tune with him, and how he was teleported many thousands of blocks from his house, and DTR adds here and there, rushing back and forth. They tell how suspicious one of the guys in their group was, that he even threatened them, but no, he didn't seem to be a hunter; he didn't have any diamond armor or netherite weapons, but anyways, all sorts of people exist, after all, PVP is turned on for everyone-
 
4C liked DTR. They were a ray of sunshine, eternally energetic and motivating and unable to stay in place, and ready to tell the whole story of their lives. He puts his hand on their shoulder, and DTR stops, staring at him curiously with their bottomless fishy eyes.
 
– You don't have to worry anymore, – he warmly assures, – I'm good at fighting, and Zam is even better! 
 
– Are you doing nothing but fighting there? – DTR seems perplexed, – of course, we also have fights sometimes, but usually we just have fun together.
 
– Well, not only that, – 4C agrees, – relationships between people, teams, stories, interests, all this is also very important, but in the end you often still need to fight, – and he smiles.
 
Diamond sword pierces DTR right into the heart, and then Zam leads it down, ripping the chest open. Blood gets on 4C's clothes, and he lets DTR go, allowing them to fall from the horse onto the ground, muttering something muffled.
 
– And if you fight over and over again, one day it becomes your life, – Zam purrs, and then bursts into laughter until DTR stops moving – and their pupils roll up – and they die, crumbling into nothing.
 
4C dusts off his jacket, but blood has already soaked into it.
 
– You've stained me, – he remarks reproachfully, powerlessly trying to clean it at least a little, – how can I pretend to be innocent if I'm covered in someone else's blood?
 
– I'm sorry, – Zam pulls, hiding a sword, – but it's not so noticeable from the distance, maybe they wouldn't notice?
 
– Zam that doesn't mean I want to wear dirty clothes, – he retorts, shaking his head disapprovingly. Zam raises his hands in defeat.
 
– I'm sorry! – he admits, - I'll try to be more careful, 4C, I promise. 
 
– I'll keep an eye on you, – he threatens frivolously and, unable to restrain himself, giggles. They let the horse go and continue walking in the same direction.
 
When they reach a river, Zam honestly tries to help him wash the blood, but it is tightly stuck – there is no way to fix it on the spot. But he manages to clean himself – remove blood from his head, clean his mouth after the past internal bleeding, wipe almost everything off his hands, leaving only red outlines under the nails. Only his coat remains the same – darkened, half-lost its own color, dragging corpses and grave earth. At least it's still better than it was, says 4C optimistically.
 
– I thought you had renounced your past self, – he remarks, – does it really not matter as long as you're not on the server?
 
Zam smiles back at him gently; there is no threat in it, but it is still subtly different from how he smiled before.
 
– Oh, no, no, 4C, of course not, – he shakes his head, – you can say, that guy took a break. He will return to you in complete safety upon our comeback.
 
He sighs. Well, this is within the norm of strangeness for a Lifesteal player. He hardly felt even a little surprised.
 
– Okay, okay, – 4C shrugs, – do you want to find someone specific, or do we take care of those we find first?
 
– Of course, I am interested in all our dear friends and comrades, – Zam draws out, – and, of course, Fruitberries! I'll be so happy if I get a chance to kill him! – he chuckles enthusiastically, – but we still need to kill everyone else, too. I would prefer to hide my role for now, so we should focus on singles to leave no witnesses. With you around, everyone will believe that we are completely innocent!
 
– Sure, Zam, – he ironically agrees, – I am, without a doubt, the friendliest player of the event.
 
– That's what I am talking about! 
 
***
It's even too easy: they follow a compass, determine a situation, and come into contact with singles and duos. Zam looks almost normal and draws them into a conversation, and almost everyone here knows 4C, and they take his benevolence and desire to help for granted. Not used to always being suspicious of everyone, they easily succumb to kind words, gifts and help, open to befriending them, even after discovering the secret of the event, hoping just to spend time well. Not warriors, peaceful people, why should they even be involved in a meat grinder between hunters and the strongest of the strongest?
 
– Oh, we don't just fight on the Lifesteal, – Zam mysteriously declares, and his listeners are staring at him, catching his every word, listening like a fairytale; – we also, just like you, tell our stories, it's just that there are a lot more deaths in ours. For example, one day I set out to corrupt the whole world, and in the process, wanting to prove my case, I killed a lot of people! – he waves his arms and shrugs his shoulders as if it were an everyday occurrence, – and he, – points to 4C, – was my first victim, with whom it all began! The president whose unwise decision led me to shift my vision!
 
– Did he murder you? – gasps the first, – and you're still friends?
 
– Yeah, it happened, – 4C laughs, shaking his head, – I was expecting something like this when we decided to remove the heart recipe. Everyone needs to survive somehow, and I was an obvious target. I don't hold a grudge. Besides, Zam has changed.
 
– Oh, yes, – Zam murmurs, – I've changed since then! I realized that I was wrong, and I can't let this happen again! I took an oath that I would never kill anyone!
 
He burns them alive – 4C hands him a camping bottle of ethanol, and Zam laughs hysterically, setting them on fire and then watching agonizing death, admiring and warming hands. Some of his fingertips are licked by flames, getting burns, but he doesn't pay any attention.
 
4C, waiting for him to finish, is sorting through his backpack – it's been too long without long-distance trips, he completely forgot what he even had with him. A couple of times he winces at the smell of burnt meat. The screams subside over time.
 
– Are we going to hide the corpses? – he asks, going through all the available elements of his swiss knife.
 
— No. It's useless, there's not enough time, – Zam replies, putting his hands in his pockets. He's not smiling anymore, but he sounds drunk, still not completely sober from murder, – soon the border will start to close. They won't make it. But we also need to move.
 
– I really need to figure out my armor, – 4C remarks, looking down at himself, and puts all the things back in his backpack. Only iron boots and helmet, absolutely unsuitable for battles, – when we pick up someone, leave their corpses next time, okay?
 
Zam drowns the next traveler by holding them by the neck under water until they stop resisting. 4C takes their half-broken protection 1 iron leggings, which still smell of mud. After three more murders, he takes a diamond boots from someone's riddled body.
 
– I missed killing people, – Zam shares, hiding the third axe under his coat, – it's so much fun, they are too weak, though. Are they so unaccustomed to war? I've killed the weak on the Lifesteal too, but you were different from them. You were so vulnerable just because you chose it.
 
4C shrugs his shoulders.
 
– I'm like them, Zam. I am not a warrior. I don't like fighting. There are so many things in the world more interesting than direct war. I don't want to waste my time on it.
 
Zam chuckles. He turns his trident from side to side, already lying in his hand in his native way.
 
– Don't worry. You don't have to fight. I will gladly take it for myself.
 
– It's always important to let people do what they like, – 4C smiles, handing him a helmet from the second corpse lying with a crossbow bolt between their eyes. It still smells of blood and is obviously too big, but Zam doesn't seem concerned about it.
 
They wade through the river, but it doesn't knock down any smell or stains, just leaves them both wet. 4C glimpses how deeply the blood has seeped into Zam's coat. This is the same coat – the one that wrapped Zam's corpse on the burial and the one that Zam himself stole from his own grave when he possessed Pangi's body. Even now, many months later, there are still traces of 4C's own blood on it – barely discernible, uneven blue streaks on the dark, worn purple. With the still readable trajectory, it is obvious that the hands holding the sword were shaking. He doesn't know how he feels about it.
 
– It's too easy, – Zam complains in a childish tone, rolling enchantment for the trident for the third time in an hour, – they barely even resist. Don't they value their lives?
 
– This is an event, – 4C remarks, shrugging; he wrings out his soaked jacket, – no one's going to actually die. Besides, in their worlds, no one will come up and just start killing you, you know? Some might never have fought against anyone other than mobs.
 
– But I want a real fight, – he objects, – what should I do so that they take swords in their hands and really try to kill me? – he stands up, breaking an enchanter, and his fingers, clutching the handle of the trident, tremble with tension, – is it really necessary to find a bigger group for this? – Zam asks sadly, – this will increase the chance of revealing me... Do you think I can just run into Coldie like that? Or, like, Raddles? – he asks, almost tenderly. – or Fein? Or, – his breath comes in short gasps, and 4C is pretty sure he meant to say "Fruitberries".
 
– I'm sure if we hurry up, you'll be able to find someone strong, – 4C remarks casually, – they're outstanding players, they can beat other hunters. And what about those who are weaker... – he pauses, thinking, – yes, it makes sense to look for bigger groups. It's going to make it harder to keep your role a secret, but that just means we need to shoot everyone before they run too far, right?
 
– That's right! – and Zam smiles at him and laughs, clearly imagining how many people he can still kill before the end of the event, – you're right, it's so easy! – he sincerely declares, – we just have to kill them sooner!
 
It's easy to notice when you know Zam long enough: he gets worse. In the sense that it was worse for him then – he is rapidly losing his self-control and humanity in the desire to kill someone, constantly touching one or the other weapon, tearing his hands, and laughing under his nose. And how did someone like that eventually take the oath of pacifism, 4C thinks distantly, putting his hand to his forehead and looking at the horizon.
 
He notices it first – a human figure, a girl entwined with pink flowers. A girl is different in some way – she throws a knowing glance at Zam, as if capable of sensing something amiss, intercepts her delicate rapier, and then rushes away. Zam swears under his breath and shouts something, clearly still trying to play a card of just-a-player-definitely-not-a-mass-murderer-
 
4C may not be a warrior, but he still knows how to fight. His arrow hits the girl in the leg, piercing her knee, and she stumbles and falls. It doesn't take long for Zam to get close, but for a while he just stares at her writhing in pain.
 
– Why in the leg, – she moans, – better have killed me right away, but now I'll remember that too! If you had shot in the head, at least it doesn't hurt so much!
 
Zam continues to glare at her. 
 
– It's an offering, – 4C smiles, – do you know, like to an ancient god? For the good luck to both of us at the games.
 
Zam's fingers, clenched into a fist, turn white. He doesn't say a word, as if intoxicated.
 
– I'm here, actually, – the girl remarks, – conscious and all that. I won't run away, of course, but I still have one life left. I'll tell everyone about you. Two hunters at once, wow!
 
– You'll tell them everything? What's about my name? – Zam asks softly, pupils dilated. – you should remember the name, right?
 
He kills her before she finds the answer. When he looks up, 4C notes that some of the blood seems to have entered his eye. Zam doesn't even try to wipe it off his face and instead smiles toothily.
 
– Let's find a bigger team, 4C, – he says too calmly, and he nods. He barely remembers to take arrows from the corpse with him. In addition to them and bolts for the crossbow, Zam silently throws him half a stack of rockets.
 
– She probably learned enough to tell the others, – 4C remarks after a long pause, – maybe not your name, but-
 
– Just imagine, – Zam interrupts him, – she thought you were a hunter. It's funny, isn't it? 
 
– Undoubtedly! – he agrees, – in her gaze, I must really look like one of you.
 
– The difference is small, – Zam shrugs, – they didn't turn off the friendly fire. 
 
Zam doesn't show it, but his trembling finally stops. He seems like a cat full of sour cream, but 4C knew better than anyone that it won't last long.
 
***
The next time they come across a company of five people. Zam burns the first alive and pierces the second by throwing a trident. The third and fourth, realizing that there is no way back, grab their swords, and they fight – honestly and with dignity and to the death, but Zam's face expresses boredom and disrespect while he dissects them like frogs. The fifth tries to run, and 4C finishes them off in the back and carefully wipes his sword.
– You're a grouch,  – Zam jokes, – how did you even survive here?
– I'm not a grouch,– 4C corrects pedantically, hiding the sword, – I just don't want it to stay dirty.
– He won't have time to rust, – Zam sounds surprised, and 4C shakes his head. He's not answering.
The closing of the border becomes noticeable when it appears on the horizon, and they change direction, moving directly to 0, 0, where the paths of all the survivors and hunters were converging. 
– Imagine if all our friends had already been killed while we were messing with the little things, – Zam groans, – I wanted to kill them all so much! It's such a pity that there's no point in killing hunters... I'd love to finish Kyle off. – he sighs in frustration, – well, I can still do it at least once, but he might get mad and stop me from killing the ones I want. – things are always more complicated when a person is immortal.
He hardly pays much attention to random passers, many of them are just running, but even those who are trying to fight are not interesting enough. Zam still wears his shitty starter armor, and- and even the fact that he is obviously not afraid of death, playing into its hands, he goes ahead, leaving himself vulnerable, and it scares. He fights every time but still always solves everything in a few punches. He fights quite differently now, much more sweeping and aggressiveness, but he leaves himself too open to enemy attacks.
– You still have an almost human body, – 4C reminds him, tying a bandage on his arm, – you're vulnerable.
– I'm immortal, – Zam chuckles, but doesn't move, letting him do his thing, – what's the difference?
– It would be even more inconvenient to look for you all over the map right now, – 4C reminds, fixing the edge of the bandage, – we don't have time for this if you want to find all your favorites. And we don't have any potions to heal your wounds. You're counterproductive, Zam. At least put on your armor or what?
Pause.
– A little later, – Zam answers more seriously, – I need... a first murder that will mean something. – and, instantly switching over, already smiling again, – where do you think Derapchu is now? He shouldn't have died yet... I really want to hit his skull with an axe!
– Who knows, – 4C spreads his hands, – depends on your luck. And you, as far as I know, are extremely lucky.
Instead of answering, Zam bursts out laughing. 4C doesn't interrupt him.
The next person is unknown to him. But they are familiar to Zam. And Zam is clearly familiar to them – they squint, focusing their gaze, and, realizing who is standing in front of them, swear profusely in an unfamiliar dialect and rush away. Zam, smiling too broadly, takes off after them, and 4C follows.
The person is a raccoon: small and nimble, but with a bearing and ironed clothes. He seems out of place.
– Fuck, fuck, fuck, – he chants, – no! Not you! Not like this! I refuse!
They seem to know each other.
– Ka-antje, – Zam pulls lovingly, – this time you can't just watch!
– I can do whatever i want! – raccoon lies down, putting a web behind him and fighting back, and this only excites Zam.
4C keeps a short distance, looking at how Zam, eventually catches up with Kantje and clings to him by the scruff of the neck and then lets go, laughing with a bloody mouth, and hits, and hits, and hits.
– Tell all our friends the news! – he laughs, splitting his skull with an axe, – tell them that I'm here! And that I would come for them!
Kantje hisses him to fuck off before dying. Zam needs almost a minute to calm his laughter.
***
Kantje fulfills Zam's request: all the people they recognize immediately know they are dangerous. Many of them are running, but the others turn around and fight. Fortunately, Zam finally puts on his hunting armor and swaps the axe for a netherite one.
4C knows how to fight, but he's not a fighter. Lifesteal taught him to keep a battlekit with him and hit into weak spots, but it still didn't give him the thirst for a battle. It didn't please him, never. And Zam did not expect that he would fight back to back with him – on the contrary, he took the fights to himself alone, as if every opportunity to put a sword between someone's ribs was the best reward.
4C does something else – throws him new and new ways of killing, patches his wounds, scouts the situation, and, when teams stand against them, shoots those who prevent Zam from taking the desired fight or try to run.
While Zam is clashing in battle with Plushy, 4C shoots Meta, and the fight ends too fast. Zam cradles his friend like a child, almost crying, saying how sorry he is that he did not kill him by himself, that he would have given him the best death possible, that he loves him and will always love him. And even if the corpses don't talk, 4C can't say that he can't understand him. 
When the body crumbles to dust, Zam abruptly stands up and wipes his face. 4C shakes his head.
– Okay, – Zam states, – we still have so many people to kill.
4C is about to say something else, but Zam activates his tracking compass, and they both stare at it in deathly silence for a while.
The needle of the compass trembles restlessly, as if with impatience. "JustKaboodle" is engraved on a metal rim.
They look at each other. Zam nods slowly, stiff with bloodlust. They take off in record time.
Kaboodle, even if the closest to them, is still at a decent distance, and Zam, without slowing down, follows her for the entire half an hour without a break. They don't talk, but it's not so bad – 4C feels that he is already approaching his limits. They don't have to get close to see that she's surrounded by people.
They know many of them. They don't know some of them, but the way they stick around Kab tells them everything they need to know. "Zam," shouts Kab, and Sushi first grabs the sword, Kantje is already here too, and in a split second a random deserted village turns into a massacre.
There is no option left to just stand, and 4C hides behind his shield, clutching an axe with his right hand. Arrows rain down on his armor, and he, ducking from the blades, rushes forward, aiming to kill.
You see: 4C did not like fighting, but on Lifesteal it was rarely synonymous with inability to fight, as his weakness in comparison with the best fighters of Lifesteal did not indicate his incompetence. And oh, he loved to think that he appreciated someone else's life, but as long as it wasn't about his teammates, it was really not that important.
He is almost half as slow as Zam, but even that is enough. While Zam is laughing madly, taking on two-three-four people at the same time, 4C swings and blows off the head of the person closest to him.
He never stopped wishing that the first blow of the orbital cannon had killed everyone present. Here's what was true about him: he preferred to give people a quick death.
– You're all going to die here anyway, – he says even cheerfully, – let's get this over with faster and return each to our world, – and his axe shaft almost crumbles in his hands from the blow of the sword taken at him, – hey, hey, take it easy!
He has to let go of the axe, because the next blow crumbles the handle, and he changes it to his sword. Adrenaline makes his hands tremble.
4C deals with another opponent when he catches a glimpse of the moment where Zam pierces Kab through and leads the sword lower and lower, and she painfully slowly settles down, muttering curses and repeating over and over again that he has not changed a bit, that he is the same as then, that he is a monster born to destroy – and Zam, smiling tenderly at her, says how glad he is to be the one to ban her and that he will gladly do it again but already on the Lifesteal-
It's not that 4C is distracted – on the contrary, he is still attentive enough to react and block the blow. The point is different: while Zam is distracted by the taste of his victory, those who remain in battle almost synchronously turn to look at 4C. And he is far from being good enough to do anything in a tough 1v3 clash: he misses one, two hits, and it's all over.
Hmm, he thinks dreamily, not really resisting the death pulling him down. It wasn't a bad adventure. It was... funny. Making things fun is the most important thing. And then an axe flies between his eyes.
To his own surprise, he does not wake up behind the border or at the spawn – it seems that he set his bed somewhere else at the beginning of his journey and forgot. This is another village with no sign of life. For a while, he just lies there silently, staring at the ceiling, feeling the phantom wounds give off pain in his body. After that, he gets up.
There's still time before an end of the event, and maybe he has something to do, but every part of his body feels like it's filled with iron. Instead of moving... somewhere, he climbs onto the porch railing and watches a sunset, swinging his legs from side to side. Birds are chirping in the surrounding forest.
It's a long minute, two, three. The sun is completely sinking below the horizon, but it is still here, and twilight is descending on the world.
His communicator is vibrating.
PrinceZam whispers to you: coordinates
His hands tremble but instantly regain their firmness. He smiles, and then, after checking, writes his coordinates. He remarks distantly that this is almost the other half of the map.
He likes to just pause and look around sometimes. The world around is beautiful, and it's a pity not to be able to appreciate it. The full moon sticks to the sky like a porcelain saucer, and its light silveres the crowns of trees, the tops of houses, and wide fields. In a sense, it's the same as on any other vanilla server. In a sense, even the air here feels different – cleaner, fresher, but also frostier. No matter how hard he tries, he can't get rid of the taste of fir needles.
When Zam arrives, it is already dawn. 4C is almost surprised that he's here. He's also almost surprised that Zam doesn't kill him. Instead, the first thing he does is give him his own full set, food – clearly forgetting that it is endless here – and several more golden apples, an obviously random sword, axe, shield and pickaxe, and also one of his tridents.
– Hi,– 4C says calmly, and then looks at the helmet. Prot 3 – only hunters have these on the server, – Zam, are you sure?
Zam snorts.
– I can die as long as I want, – he reminds, – but you can't do it anymore. Come on, we don't have much time.
4C nods and gets ready. A shield falls back into his left hand, but in his right is a trident shining in the dawn rays of the sun. Zam activates the compass, and they move on again.
***
Endgame is close, the border is extremely small, and most of the survivors are more than competent. Almost everyone is fighting to the death. Escapees have to be driven into hundreds of blocks. They try to lead them into traps several times. Twice they are ambushed.
Once, Zam chases the only survivor of her squad, the purple catgirl, and begs her to fight him one-on-one, promising fair and equal conditions, and at one point she turns around. Zam throws her golden apples, and Raddles slowly chews one of them, looking at them darkly and menacingly from under her eyelashes. Zam blocks 4C with his hand.
– Don't interfere, – he begs, – I need–I need a real battle. If I die, do whatever you want. I don't think she's going to kill you, – Raddles shakes her head slowly, clearly having heard the conversation, and then spits an apple stub into the ground and draws her blade. She is all like a cat – bouncing movements, low stance, lowered head, lightweight armor. There is no doubt about her lethality, and she takes off at the same moment when Zam moves.
And... 4C just watches. He can do a hundred other things, including just turn around and walk away, but he watches. Raddles fights bloodily and swiftly, and Zam is forced to gain speed to match her. These are infinitely fast exchanges of blows, short cuts, attempts to hit weak spots – at some point it looks more like hand-to-hand sparring than sword fighting, and they are not inferior to each other. At some point, Zam breaks into some unfamiliar forced style, and in another skirmish, he punches her in the stomach at the cost of a knife blow that barely misses the artery. Raddles quickly regains consciousness, but Zam is faster – not paying attention to the fact that he is bleeding, he leads a sword from the bottom up, opening her stomach.
– Thank you,– Zam mutters, without taking his eyes off her, – thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.
– Fuck you,– Raddles mutters, and her eyes roll back.
4C puts a pressure bandage on Zam's neck and forbids him to move for a few more minutes until regeneration from the golden apples stitches at least the deepest damage. He really never saw himself as a medic; he wore bandages for self-help, but in war you either heal or cripple, so it was hard for him to be surprised. Zam is indignant and constantly whines but obeys and then jumps up, as if overflowing with energy again, clenching and unclenching his fists, and says that they need to run. 4C sighs and before that washes his hands. When he returns, there is an unnamed cross on the field. They can only move on.
Something about how insanely familiar it all was made him permanently uncomfortable. He didn't mind remembering his own death, but he couldn't stop thinking about how Zam was rapidly losing control of himself. They did not see each other often, separated by the entire server, but he remembered individual moments – the madness of the meat grinder in order to ban CaptainSparklz, insane laughter, threats to buildings, taking hostages, explosion after explosion after explosion, a sleepless night of the marathon, a bloody stroke of bans, and – death surrounded by flower petals, 1v4, happy and ready to accept who won for himself in spite of everything.
Zam rushes into battle, ignoring wounds and exhaustion and a half-empty inventory, rushing because he only knows how to fight and how to kill, and 4C regretfully lets him go to a certain death, telling himself that at least hunters cannot be banned. That Zam might die, but he would always come back. He watches with regret as Coldie disembowels him like a fish. Coldie does not touch 4C, but takes the trident from Zam's corpse and, nodding, disappears into the fog. 4C gently strokes Zam's hair, looking at the face of the doomed to die, and immediately after the body disappears, he DMs, asking for coordinates.
– And how did your teammates get you out? – he asks, chuckling, returning Zam's belongings.
– They did the best they could, – Zam grins, – and that was enough. I wanted it myself; what can they do? They wouldn't have forced me against my will.
4C smiles, suppressing another giggle, and shoves a spare shield in his face.
– We are almost at the end, – he reminds, – how many survivors are there, about twenty people? Every kill counts. Be careful.
At this point, both Mid and Squiddo have been killed. He has nowhere to turn around.
– Do not doubt, – Zam grins, – that I will use the rest of the time to the fullest.
This is the first time they see spawn. it is beautifully decorated, like a Christmas tree on the eve of a holiday, and that's why the traces of murders scattered here and there look especially grotesque. Here they see other hunters, many of them for the first time. 4C politely shakes hands with the other two survivors who have switched sides, pretending not to notice that the Zam's hands are shaking. When it comes time for Kyle, he is clearly forced to make every possible effort not to try to cut off his head.
Few survivors sitting on the spawn are hiding. The rest stick to that small part of the outer territory that has not yet been absorbed by the border. They catch rare survivors by falling on their heads or catching up or shooting them right in the head. Black and red fireworks explode them with bloody confetti. There is a lull before the final, while everyone is preparing for the final dash, and even Zam is forced to stop.
4C patches him up and makes him eat and drink. Zam's entire clothes and body are covered in blood to the point that it does not wash off, and even now he is staring into space, unable to hold his own hands, trembling so much that it rather resembles convulsions.
– Kill, kill, kill, kill, – he chants, – I have to kill them. Who's left? Fruit? Fein? Misty? – he breaks into a smile, – Derapchu, – squeezes one hand with the other so hard that the bones crackle, – such a feast, I can't believe it... And that's it for me... I just have to make sure that the others are not taken away... Abyss, I would give anything for the opportunity to kill them too...
He makes a fire and warms his icy fingers, counting the minutes until the moment when the border will reach here too.
– Be careful, – he reminds, – the rest are competent fighters. They can kill you. They'll kill you.
– It doesn't matter, – Zam chuckles, – I'm immortal! I will always come back!
– You're going to waste time, – he retorts, – and that's what we're all limited to right now. Time until the end of the event. Time until your targets are killed by someone else. 
Zam looks at him. His pupils are huge.
– You're right, – he agrees breathlessly, – time. It doesn't matter if it hurts me. It matters if I have time to kill them. And I have to kill them. How can I miss an opportunity?
He finds the answer to his unspoken question very soon: only five minutes, and the border almost touches them. He puts out the fire with his boot and loads crossbows with bolts and fireworks. Zam takes off from his place, and he does not try to call out to him, only clutches one of the crossbows in his hands, and slides down through the wet snow into the hollow of spawn.
The border closes in, locking everyone within the ornately decorated square, and this quickly announces losses – before his eyes, Zam, laughing, blows off the head of a frightened player in iron armor, not ready for the meat grinder of the final. Fireworks fill the sky all around, and their light casts deep shadows from the bird squad of survivors holding onto the roofs, each of whom had elites on their backs. 4C aims at the figure closest to him, but they dodge without any effort.
It's like a dance – everything starts slowly, hunters and survivors die one by one, with rare pops, but gradually the production, emboldened, picks up the pace, and very soon you can't keep track of what is happening – the survivors try to keep their distance and hide in the heights and lowlands, but the hunters desperately attack them, dying one by one, exploding clouds of thick smoke are in the air, but materializing again only moments later and immediately rushing into battle again. 
4C quickly finds himself in the company of two other survivors who have allied with the hunters – it seems impossible to keep up with Zam, he can only cover him from a distance, and this has never been hindered by good company. The guys are funny: they talk, joke, and accept him instantly, connected by common experience. 
– Why did you decide to do this? – he innocently asks when Zam dies again from Fruit's axe, – to help hunters, – he clarifies pedantically.
One, a man in a blue hiking suit with stubble, shrugs his shoulders.
– It's more interesting this way, – he sums up, – I didn't want to just run away the whole event. And when will I be free to kill so many people, right? I had a lot of fun.
– It so happened that my friend became a hunter, – says the second, younger, heavily built, and obviously used to fighting, – I did not dare to go against him. What's the rest to me if we've come all this way together?  He snorts, – What about you?
4C looks at Zam again – just respawned, he, along with several others, is storming a survivors' squadron – and then shakes his head expressively slowly. Instead of giving a clear answer, he just smiles at them.
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charmac · 2 months ago
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Opinions on Charlie woobification? Also, do you think the fandom woobifies Dennis (too much)?
A few people have sent me asks about my thoughts on Dennis being woobified in the fandom and I’ve failed to answer them (sorry). Not for lack of interest on the subject, it’s just hard to answer. I think, though, answering this Charlie question in the same ask might make it easier to explain my thoughts on this.
When we talk about the fandom we’re generally talking about the people here, a couple hundred people on Twitter, maybe some Instagram stans(?) and tend to ignore the million (1,000,000)+ people on the subReddit and the huge chunk of people on Facebook and casual Twitter who are constantly, continually pushing a narrative that these characters have no depth, and thus their characterisation is what we see on the surface and nothing more. I think the one time it’s probably important not to ignore those people as fans of the show is when it comes to woobification.
Because at a surface level, the people who are consuming this show as a comedy and making posts that exhibit their takes/opinions on these characters to the majority of people portray the characters very simply: Charlie is an idiot and the best member of the Gang, in every sense of the word, and Dennis is a mere representation of toxic masculinity to a psychopathic degree. And those opinions are the loud majority.
So any discussion in our minority section of the fandom that woobifies Charlie or Dennis operates within and on top of the general narrative of the public perception (“face value”) of the characters. Woobification of Charlie, then, almost always further infantilises the majority of his traits to contribute to the idea that he’s not a bad guy and doesn’t deserve the position he’s in in life, while woobification of Dennis mostly works to counteract the idea that he’s a cold-blooded psychopath.
In a way, I think you have to woobify Dennis to a degree in order to properly understand his character (and Glenn makes that clear). Do some people take it too far? When it gets into the realm of genuinely somehow believing he’s not a bad person, absolutely, but in over a decade of Sunnyblr posts, I think I’ve seen that conclusion once, maybe twice. I really don’t think any post that’s diving into how Dennis' actions reflect his insecurities and trauma is ever speaking ignorant of the rest of his character, and that normally seems clear to the majority of people because rarely, if ever, does a dive into Dennis woobification cause fans to understand the character worse than they understood him at face value.
Whereas, with Charlie, you constantly do see this. Posts and threads and fights between fans arguing up and down that Charlie is better than the rest of them: he’s the smartest, actually, he means to do good, he shouldn’t be lumped in with the rest of them as sexual predators... People in this fandom genuinely argue that you are a *better person* if you’re a Charlie stan, that Charlie ships are softer, more moral, than toxic Dennis ships. The result of Charlie woobification seems to often make people less media literate about the character (and the show as a whole if we’re being real) than they would be if they just watched at face value.
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They’re all morally despicable characters.
TL;DR: Due to the face value perceptions of the characters, woobification is an almost necessary tool for better exploring and understanding Dennis under his surface, while it really only exacerbates an annoying surface-level understanding of Charlie
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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 4 months ago
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Good evening (or morning, afternoon, wherever u r) to you, Miss Raven, *tips hat* How do you do?
First of all, I was reading through the your canon Malleus romance analysis and i’ve just gotta say I love how you give a realistic approach to these characters and their world! 🙌🏻
But that also got me thinking, how would Leona prioritize his romantic vs royal life?
As second born prince, I wanna say Leona actually has more breathing room to pick whoever he wants as a partner (if the royal family doesn’t arrange a marriage before he gets that chance), plus, the Sunset Savanna’s next heir apparent is already born, so really there’s nothing worry about succession unless something happens to Cheka and or Falena. But at the same time Leona is still ridiculed by his people, so will that have any affect on who he wants to be with if he happens to choose someone other than another beast(wo)man or someone in a class lower than a noble?
And even tho he isn’t first in line for the throne, Leona is still royalty. I think he could pick a partner who is more private and less sociable with their life, but I also think they still might need to be prepared for the royal life, lack of privacy, speaking with the public, and other royal duties (even if Leona himself won’t do them).
TL;DR Do you think Leona’s status as second prince actually gives him a benefit for who he can pick as a romantic partner and how would the people’s view on him affect this, and what do you think would expected of Leona’s partner in the royal life even tho he’s not first in line for the throne?
What’s your take on this?
Related posts: Malleus / Kalim
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Greetings 🎵 Life’s been a bit stressful lately, but I’m getting by! Busy planning something big for the blog too, so excited for that.
I think you must be talking about that post where I discussed what the expectations would probably be for Malleus’s future spouse? Thank you for the praise though! While anyone can ship themselves or their OC with Malleus in the latter, there’s certain in-universe logic that must be followed in the former. It feels very different to be a character in that world versus an outsider looking in. Being able to switch and see from those perspectives is important, I feel.
My thoughts on this topic aren't as concrete as what I laid out for my Malleus post, mostly because we don't know as much about Sunset Savanna's politics and since Leona isn't burdened by the same expectations as the crown prince or first in line to the throne. I feel like this post will be a lot of speculation, so just be cognizant of that.
As Leona is right now, I don't think he has much of an interest or an obligation to find someone. His focus seems to be on tending to himself and his own goals to help those around him, be it his juniors (Epel, Jack, Ruggie, etc.) or his country (due to his internship at a energy and mining lab). I definitely feel like that's where his priorities lie, and anyone he might take on as a life partner would also have to have a passion and dedication for this kind of service, whether they also engage in it or they at least support Leona's endeavors.
I also think that Leona would personally want an intelligent partner that's able to hold their own in a discussion, but only to a certain extent. Like, they have to be able to coherently express their own thoughts but I don't think he wants to deal with someone so stubborn that they constantly put up a fight with him if they happen to disagree. Leona has demonstrated multiple times that he finds it a hassle when people don't listen to him, so he tries to put himself in situations where he doesn't have to face that in the first place. For example, Leona states that he dislikes Silver and Rook, as they constantly act on their own and seem to disregard anything that others around them say. Additionally, he lacks a vice dorm leader because he made the conscious decision to not pick one, as he doesn't want someone challenging his decisions. Leona also strategically caves to his sister-in-law's demands to avoid wasting time and energy in an argument, since he knows that beastwomen tend to be strong-willed. His partner would have to know when to step back and give him space or when is not a good time to keep pressing a point. That means there'd be a certain element of emotional intelligence involved too, not just general wisdom or knowledge.
In these circumstances, I don't think there would be as much of an importance placed on the social status of Leona's spouse since he's like... what? Fourth in line to rule? His father is still alive, Falena/Farena is still fine, and Cheka's there too. The chances of Leona actually having to step up to that plate are low. There's no pressing need for Leona to find a partner or to produce an heir of his own. I don't recall there being lore about his older brother and sister-in-law having an arranged marriage or what social class his sister-in-law is from, so... there's not a lot to go off of there. I think, at the very least, we can assume there's not as much pressure for Leona to be in an arranged marriage since he isn't the crown prince. I don't get the sense that Sunset Savanna is as conservative with its social expectations as Briar Valley is, so it's doubtful whether or not the public would care about a royal marrying a commoner or a beastman marrying a non-beastman. To my latter point, there doesn't seem to be as strong of a racial divide between beastmen and humans (unlike fae and humans), so I don't think this would pose a major concern. But hey, maybe they do care a lot about status since Leona's flashback keeps harping on the importance of birth order--but that ultimately has no baring on the commoner versus royal thing. Maybe this is me being too much of an idealist, but I do think it would be possible for Leona's partner to come in and prove themselves, since their reputation (unlike Leona's) isn't already marred by being second in line to the throne and having a golden child to be compared to. If anything, I feel like the people would fear for the safety of Leona's spouse rather than what their "marrying outside of the norm" means for the country. Since there's a negative public view of Leona, I feel that this would translate into worry for the spouse rather than assuming they are "just as bad" as Leona. They're an outsider with a completely separate background from Leona's, and that I doubt that most people have the magic to rival his strength. Where would their fear of the spouse be reasonably coming from? I think the more likely situation would be the public feeling sympathy for the spouse (like, what if Leona's magic harms them) and wondering what they must see in the second-born prince. There might be a lot of gossip or concerns swirling around their courtship, little judgmental whispers and passing glances that are hard to avoid, maybe some hissed warnings to be careful around Leona, etc. The spouse should be careful how they react to public opinion though, as lashing out could make them be perceived as ill-tempered and crude, a poor reflection of both their own attitude as well as confirming preconceived notions of Leona. They should be equipped to handle socially complicated situations with grace and tact. When it comes to Leona, they should also be ready to provide him with some emotional support—not as a therapist he trauma dumps to or anything like that, but as a trusted and nonjudgmental confidant.
I think the spouse would receive the harshest scrutiny should they step into a more public-facing role… like if they started to enact or push for policies that go against the country’s reverence for nature and living in harmony with it. They would most certainly get pushback for it, maybe earn ire for not being “attuned” with its people. Leona’s spouse would, at the bare minimum, be expected to represent the values of Sunset Savanna and to engage in its ceremonies and traditions. For example, Leona—the second prince—is meant to train the winners of the Bead Brawl. Whatever royal duties are set for the spouses of the royal family… well, they should be prepared to fulfill them.
On the subject of privacy and sociability, it might actually be a drawback if Leona’s spouse were private and not sociable. Not being seen or interacting in public very often means people are left to their own devices and assumptions—and if Leona is the first person they associate with his spouse, it could lead to the public forming negative thoughts. "Oh, they're withdrawn because they don't care about us. Oh, they must be moody and hard to get along with." There’s a lot of earning trust that has to be done, especially if Leona intends to enact social reform, so I think it would make for better optics if his spouse really put themselves out there and was proactive in the community. Instead of framing themselves as a shut-away or some rando that married into the royal family, they have to be willing to step outside of their comfort zone and act like a leader if push comes to shove, show how outgoing and determined they can be.
Last thought I have on this matter I guess is related to how Leona’s loved ones would react. I don’t think the named characters would care about the details all too much?? Farena appears to respect his brother and treats him warmly, even when Leona brushes him off. He’d want Leona to be happy and at his best mentally and emotionally when and if he decides to help govern the country. And Cheka, well… maybe he’s a little too young to fully understand what’s going on, but I think he’d want his uncle to be happy too. I’d say even Kifaji would be on board with it, though perhaps not as openly as Farena or Cheka. He’s a stern older man, so I can absolutely see him scolding Leona and nagging him about his choice of partner—but in the way that a concerned grandparent would, you know? Not in an outright malicious way like the Briar Valley senators might. Unlike them, Kifaji can see the good in his prince and wants the best for him, even if he comes off as too overbearing at times. Kifaji doesn't unnecessarily act vitriolic or belittling to Leona, he states truths (that Leona acts improperly at times) and earnestly expresses his wish that Leona recognizes his own potential. He'll probably pull up to interrogate the spouse (because he cares that Leona marries someone who loves and values him), but ultimately give his blessings along with a plea for them to take good care of his second prince.
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rikeijo · 2 months ago
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A very deep dive into Yuri!!! on ICE canon #1
~Yuuri's bisexuality~
It's been 8 years, times changed, but to this day there are people in YoI fandom, who seem to be extremely uncomfortable with the idea that Yuuri can indeed be canonically bisexual and have had feelings for a girl (or anyone else that isn't Victor). As funny as it is to see people being obsessed with proving that a fictional character could have never ever even thought about touching a girl, I personally find it a bit scary, too.
There is no official sexuality confirmed&set in stone for any of the characters, and this is why everyone is able to interpret all the little nudges and pointed looks from the creators however they like, and the creators repeatedly stated that they are okay with that. Nevertheless, I gathered pieces of evidence (that I know of), that point toward Yuuri being canonically bisexual.
If you are bisexual and identify with Yuuri, but have ever felt that somebody is trying to invalidate your interpretation of the character, as in any way “inferior” or “headcanon not supported by canon” this post is dedicated to you ✨
Starting with the tl;dr conclusion of this very long post:
bisexual Yuuri is a valid interpretation of the canon Yuuri.
To begin with, the main point: Yuuri’s feelings for Yuuko and how the story deals with them.
Without Yuuko, the story wouldn’t have happened and episode 1. made it clear that she’s a very important person in Yuuri’s life – this is what everyone who watched the show agrees on, but were Yuuri’s feelings romantic?
Why Yuuko was called the “Madonna of Ice Castle Hasetsu”
“アイスキャッスルはせつ”のマドンナ 相変わ���ずかわいいし/"Madonna of Ice Castle Hasetsu", and she’s cute like she always has been.”
How the word “Madonna” in Japanese is used is explained eg. here:
“In modern Japanese, more than in its religious meaning, the word “Madonna” is normally used as a metaphor for a “woman I adore”. (…) As “Madonna” means “a woman sb adores”, the word is used in phrases like: “Madonna of this school” or “Madonna-like person” etc. It’s not a word that is used in everyday life conversations directly to describe the person you speak to, but often when speaking with somebody else, if you want to emphasize how beautiful the woman is (...)”.
Google “マドンナ 意味” and the same dictionary definition will come up -(あこがれの)美しい女性 / A beautiful woman (sb admires/yearns for). Kubo Mitsurou has used this word in her other works in the same meaning – a beautiful woman the main character (secretly) adores/crushes on.
Calling Yuuko the ‘Madonna of the Ice Castle Hasetsu’ simply means that all the boys/girls on the rink had a crush on her (Yuuri included). And to put even more emphasis on that, Yuuri says that nothing has changed – she’s as cute as she always has been. When a boy says something like ‘あの子、可愛い’, ‘that girl/boy is cute’, it’s the most natural way to say: ‘to me, she/he is physically attractive’ (if you've been watching Dandadan recently, in ep. 6 there is an excellent example of this).
In conclusion, in the very beginning of the story, the creators decided to show us a scene, which establishes that to Yuuri, Yuuko has always been and still is physically attractive. Soon after this scene we have:
The love confession
“優ちゃん 僕、ずっと… 優ちゃんのこと…”
This has been already said thousands of times, but for good or for bad, this phrase is worded just as a love confession would be.
The translation of this line is a simple: “Yuu-chan… I’ve always… You…”, but in Japanese, there is this untranslatable “のこと/no koto” included in this line, which is exactly the part that makes is sound like Yuuri’s about to confess his love to Yuuko. It’s a way to put more emphasis on the noun, and you could say it’s something close in meaning to ‘everything about you’. Of course, the creators chose to not finish this sentence, so what Yuuri would exactly say is a mystery, but the wording/grammar naturally makes you expect a confession of feelings. Would he say ‘suki’ or something milder? That we don’t know, but eg. the word that Yuuri uses for Yuuko earlier in the same scene, "憧れの人/person I admire”, or any form of the same verb, simply wouldn't fit grammatically in this sentence.
But Yuri!!! is not just all 'tell' - it's very much 'show'. That it was supposed to be a confession of feelings is also pretty clear, when we look at Yuuri’s face in this scene. Even setting aside how the grammar limits the choice of how this sentence could be finished, Yuuri’s facial expression doesn't read: “You’ve always been a good friend to me, Yuuko. I liked skating together with you…🥲" No, all of sudden, Yuuri looks nervous and unsure, embarrassed, even though just a moment before, he had a normal conversation with her. Just like somebody would be, if they wanted to finally say something that they always wanted to say for so many years, even if it’s far too late now. This leads us to another important point:
How Yuuri’s feelings for Yuuko fit in the bigger story
A lot of people say that the Yuuri x Yuuko scene in episode 1. is just a trap of sort - you expect Yuuko to be the heroine of the story, but she isn’t. And this is very true that in the end, it’s obvious that she isn’t. At the same time though, it’s worth noting that the creators never deny in the story itself that Yuuri has had feelings for her, but they were simply unrequited. There is never any conversation with Nishigori of the likes of ‘-You liked Yuuko, didn’t you?’ ‘-No! It’s not like that! She’s always been like a sister to me!’ – to make sure everyone knows that Yuuri doesn’t like girls.
Quite the opposite - just like in real life, your crush marring somebody else doesn’t automatically erase your own feelings (Mitsurou tackles this topic in Moteki, too, funnily enough), I think that the creators wanted to suggest that this is simply what Yuuri experienced - a heartbreak. ‘Yuuri could never try to confess his feelings for a married woman!!!’ some people may say, but the confession scene can be easily interpreted as Yuuri wanting to finally say what he didn’t get to say earlier, to let it go and move on. For context, it’s perhaps important to remember that Yuuko got pregnant at 18/19, when Yuuri was only 16/17 and that must have been quite a shock for Yuuri at that age – as soon as he could (to go to uni at 18, after Yuuko had the triplets), he moved out of Hasetsu and hasn’t visited his hometown for the next 5 years.
It also all makes perfect sense in the bigger picture. Yuuri let Yuuko go and most likely didn’t even think about fighting for her (lack of self-confidence etc. + his choice to focus on skating). The story even suggests that he run away from this situation, which creates a very nice contrast to how the second time around, he doesn't run away, but stands his ground - Yuuri chose to actively fight (literally, with Yurio in Onsen on ICE) to not let Victor go.
The really cool thing about YoI is that the characters are realistic. It means that they are complicated, they aren’t just all perfect and always rational, making all the good and/or easy to understand choices. Plus, they are adults (this was important to Sayo according to her interviews), which naturally means more experience of many different sorts. They aren’t over-simplified anime/BL templates, whose personality is a collection of tropes or this one thing they are absolutely obsessed with. Imo, Yuuri’s complicated feelings for figure skating/Yuuko/Victor, all jumbled together, as the story shows them to us, are an excellent example of this.
What the creators have to say on this topic
After meeting with the Nishigoris in episode 1., the next line that Yuuri says is:
この町を出て5年間、スケートのことだけ考えて見ないようにしてきたことがいっぱいあった 僕は1人で滑っていく. 5 years have passed since I left this town. I’ve been thinking only about skating, and I chose not to see/look at a lot of things. I’m going to skate alone from now on.
This line is directly linked to what Kubo Mitsurou said about the reason why Yuuri had never come back to Hasetsu in those five years:
(…) I was also thinking about the reason why Yuuri didn’t want to go back to his hometown for such a very long time, that it's because of Nishigori and Yuuko. When it comes to Nishigori and Yuuko’s relationship, I think Yuuko is the one who started it. She didn’t confess her feelings directly, but I think it was probably very clear that she likes Nishigori. (…)
That Yuuri didn’t want to face Yuuko and Nishigori together suggests clearly that there are unresolved feelings on Yuuri’s side towards their marriage. I don’t think that they have to be just simple ‘I loved you, but you are married to another guy now and I don’t want to see that’, but it’s very likely that this is part of that ‘many things that I chose not to see/look at’ that Yuuri mentions. In the end, Yuuri didn’t say what he wanted to say to Yuuko and it seems that instead, it's this scene that tells us that now, back in Hasetsu after facing Yuuko and Nishigori and their children again, Yuuri decided to move on - alone.
Also Hiramatsu Tadashi mentions Yuuri’s feelings for Yuuko, and that they were an important part of episode 1.:
– After character design, you started working on animating the episodes, I assume. You are the Animation Director for the first episode - what was the key scene for that episode? Hiramatsu: For Yuuri, it was the sequence of scenes that leads to the scene, in which he is skating at the rink in Hasetsu. At first, he experienced a crushing defeat, and still depressed he came back to his hometown. He sees his posters at the train station, and reacts to that with 'oh no, that’s embarrassing~’, but he can’t just retire like that. [The sequence of scenes] until, when he re-affirms that there is still something that he wants to do… His changing emotions, and feelings that he has for Yuuko. That was what I paid special attention to, as I was working.
All in all, it’s the same issue once again – Yuuri’s character is not only about Victor. His journey is much more complicated than that, and because of this, it’s way more realistic. Treating Yuuri's feelings for Yuuko as inconvenience to yaoi shipping is just... reducing the story to what it never even aspired to be (a bundle of yaoi tropes).
~Bonus round~
Yuuri and the ladies ✨
This one is mainly my speculation (I'm really interested in the topic of how queerness in portrayed in anime&related media).
A very unique characteristic of YoI, which people who are interested in anime and representation probably noticed is that Victor is “safely” kept away from all female characters.
Why they couldn’t just say ‘he’s gay’ is a topic for another long discussion, so let’s simply state the fact – they couldn’t. If we think about the topic of YoI, how it’s 'we love&support you' message to gay figure skaters, who have been facing blatant homophobia when competing, it’s not hard to imagine that it was important for the creators to not give the viewers the wrong idea…
The problem is, in Japan, heteronormativity is still the default setting and people will look at even the smallest of details to prove that the character is ‘normal’. This trick is even often used by the creators themselves to make the homophobic part of the audience feel more comfortable with shows that contain more or less queer-coding – Buddy Daddies is a prime example of this - the show literally starts with “the main character sleeps with a woman” scene and ends with “the main character is still a playboy” scene just to make sure that people can have some 'they are not really gay gay' leverage, if they need it. A subtler version of this is something like SK8, that also includes some ‘girls are hot, aren’t they!’ scenes, yk, just in case.
YoI is the opposite - the only female characters that Victor ever interacts with are Yuuri’s mother, Yuuri’s older sister, Yuuri’s childhood friend (married), Yuuri’s ballet teacher (almost twice his age) and two random characters (the conversation between them only confirms that Victor is indeed gay, as they directly suggest that Victor only plays the role of Yuuri’s coach to get near his dick). Of all these characters (that’s six [6] in total), the only one that Victor has a one-to-one conversation with is Minako. Mila is on his team, as are some other background female characters, but they never interact. Even in the Sochi banquet photos, no girl in Victor’s vicinity, just in case someone could get any ideas.... And of course, he uses gender neutral pronouns when talking about lovers.
Yuuri, though, just doesn’t receive the same treatment - there is of course Yuuko, there is the mysterious music student, who for some reason knew Yuuri well-enough to express his life in music, and there is the other girl, who was clearly very much into him, when he was in Detroit. And of course, there is the last boss that Victor needs to defeat, Chihoko... A few scenes suggest that even Sara may be interested in Yuuri. They could use another gender-neutral word instead, but no, even Victor, first evening in Yuuri's house, asks Yuuri: “is there a girl that you like?" (女の子). Nishigoris also talk about Yuuri still not having a 'girlfriend' (彼女, not a 恋人).
We also have some subtle suggestions that Yuuri actually isn't as inexperienced as he may seem to be for some people - the *wink wink* statement from the creators that Yuuri actually has a romantic love history that is kept ‘top secret’ and Nishigori in ep. 3. suggesting that Yuuri has some experience, even though it's "scarce" (and he's most likely talking about Yuuri in Hasetsu; I can bet that what happens in Detroit, stays in Detroit). Imo, these are not just random funny tidbits about the character - it's all a part of the important lesson the show tries to teach us: stereotypes and judging by appearances lead you to wrong conclusions.
Because of all of this, my personal impression has always been that the creators aren’t at all afraid to suggest Yuuri is into girls, as they clearly are in case of Victor.
Quasi-canon
YoI has very little quasi-canon material (the protectiveness over the characters was probably one of the first things that fascinated me about YoI, because the standard is to push out as much as you can to maximize the profit… That’s also a topic for another discussion, though). The interesting thing is, however, that both (and only) quasi-canon stories touch upon the topic of Yuuri’s bisexuality.
Yuri!!! on STAGE
It’s a story that’s meant to be funny, so are the events in the drama canon to the main story? Of course not. I don’t think, though, that the creators would agree to show the characters in a way that contradicts how the characters are supposed to be in a fundamental way. Imagine they went through all the trouble to make sure that nobody got the wrong idea about Victor, and then there was a story, in which characters, that know him very well, all think that he has a girlfriend. That doesn’t feel right, does it? But that’s exactly what they did for Yuuri.
In the story, they find the writing on Yuuri’s back in Russian: ‘I’ll overcome Chihoko/ I’ll become better than Chihoko’. Yuri P. asks ‘Oi, who this Chihoko hag is?!’, and Chris asks Yuuri: ‘勇利の女?' This is another point scored nicely by the creators, because the word that Chris uses is not “girlfriend” nor “sweetheart”, but “onna/woman”. In this context, it means simply: ‘Is she your mistress?’ == even though it's just a silly story written to make people laugh, they still recognize that Yuuri and Victor are in a relationship, but Chris basically thinks that Yuuri cheats on Victor with a woman. Yurio and Chris assume that Chihoko is a woman, because her name ends with a -ko, but they are gaijins... The story would make perfect sense, if they didn't know a thing about female names in Japan, and simply didn't assume what gender Chihoko is. The whole conversation could be gender-neutral, but the active choice was to make it about a 'woman'.
So, if in Chris’ mind Yuuri wasn’t bi, would he automatically assume that Yuuri cheats on his good friend with a woman, as he did in this story? The reality is that he doesn’t even sound that surprised that Yuuri may have a female lover... Phichit also just goes along with what Chirs suggested. Shouldn't Phichit be more surprised in this situation, if he thought Yuuri wasn't into girls? Victor, on the other hand, is super stressed that there was a woman in Yuuri’s life that was in some ways better than him in Yuuri's opinion, but his lines also don’t suggest in any way that he’s just made a big discovery about Yuuri’s sexuality.
Yuri!!! on FESTIVAL
This is also an interesting one. In the story, Chihoko strikes again – Yuuri explains why they hold the festival in Hasetsu and the word ‘Chihoko’ is part of the name of one of the deities. Hearing that, Victor asks concerned: “女神なのかい/Is this a female deity?”
But... why does it matter to Victor if it’s a male or female god? Would Chihoko be less scary to him if it was a male? Well, to me it sounds like, through this silly story about Chihoko, the creators want to suggest that Victor is afraid of women, specifically, in context of Yuuri.
It's just a crack story, but I’d say that the creators/the writer neatly sneaked some serious topics into it (just like the fact that it was very important for Yuuri to say he wants Victor to just be himself in ep. 4, or how in Yuri on STAGE, one of the jokes is that there is a side of Victor that only Yuuri gets to see = the last few blacked-out seconds of ep. 12). Imo, Victor being afraid that a woman can be better than him may as well be another example of this. (Imagine Yuuri hypothetically decided that he wanted to start a family with a woman, have his own babies etc., then that would be a desire that Victor couldn't fulfill for him as easily, wouldn't it? Like, it's hard for one person to be better than two sexes at once in certain situations, and I'm sure many people in similar circumstances can get anxious if they are 'enough'...) I think that this kind of a suggestion, dressed up as a joke, that Victor is afraid some female Chihoko will come and take Yuuri away from him only makes sense if in the creators' minds Yuuri is bi.
For contrast, in both stories, Yuuri is jealous only of Chris and/or unhappy that Victor wants to show too much skin in public...
That was a very long one, but that's what Tumblr is good for, isn't it? ✨ Thank you for reading, if you have made it this far! All in all, it's 2024... The yaoi tropes will probably never completely disappear, but the 'my uwu baby needs to be 100% pure, no-one (especially a female char) is allowed to taint my yaoi fantasies' mentality really should just die out, it's not healthy and female characters are not something that should be feared😭
So, have I missed something (I probably have)? Opinions? Different interpretations? It's always nice to discuss stuff ~✨
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rottentiger-art · 7 months ago
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This part is so special to me, the visual representation of the wife using the LW pamphlet as a shield from her abusive husband.
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The husband is fuming, but she does not appear confident instead of fearful for what he might do. In a time where you're meant to let your husband do whatever he pleases with you, I can't imagine how important it must've been for her to not only have someone on her side, but that someone being one of the most relevant voices of the ton.
Before this shot she also sided with the maid, publically shaming the mistress that fired her for an unfair reason. And it will help, because the ton cares too much about LW's opinion, that's why the Queen told Eloise that she had no idea the power she held. The husband and the mistress being shamed publically by LW will force them to behave due to the social pressure.
Penelope is always being villanized for being Lady Whistledown and spreading gossip, so much so that people forget she has and still uses LW as a way to help others, not only the Bridgerton, not only through words but personally, like when she pressed for the paper boys to get paid their due. She did more for the working class and for other women that anyone on that job
The parallel of both colums too were amazing on showing this. Cressida and her mother thought the column would require nothing but scandalous gossips, but Pen's is more than that, she can be vicious but she has never been unnecessarily cruel and slandering. Like she said, she only writes the truth.
TL;DR: I do not vibe with the villification of both Penelope and Lady Whistledown, not when she has used for good so many times
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merriclo · 3 months ago
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i’m 100% vagueposting here but so many very popular BSD analyses are essentially just huge reaches that can be easily disproven, made due to a deep misunderstanding of the narrative and a lack of genuine respect for the process of analyzing.
i’ve seen entire essays on how Dazai didn’t abuse Akutagawa, and how Akutagawa doesn’t abuse Higuchi. i’ve seen post after post discount the importance of the trust that rests within Double Black. i’ve seen people argue over whether or not Kunikida’s ideals are healthy.
and half the damn time, sources aren’t cited whatsoever: there’s no quotes or manga panels used anywhere!! scenes and moments will be referenced, but without a proper citation there’s so many different ways you can present and misconstrue what actually happened. and with a series like BSD, where so many aren’t able to read the light novels or watch the movie or read the manga, that can change so much.
and then it’ll be revealed that the author only spends like,, 3-4 hours max on the entire process behind one post. the information gathering, the writing, the formatting + aesthetics, and then the posting. if you’ve never gotten deep into analyzing media before, just know that 3-4 hours is a painfully short amount of time to give an analysis.
it boggles my mind, too, because it will be these exact kinds of posts that are written with nothing but contempt for the readers. their words will be laced with pure annoyance and distaste for the audience and general fandom. i’ve even witnessed people publicly insult commenters who praised them, calling them stupid sheep for being hyperbolic in their compliments. it’s cruel, and incredibly mean-spirited.
speaking of which, there’s also a conversation to be had about how bigotry impacts these discussions. several character analyses i’ve seen have been nothing but poorly-masked attempts at discounting popular queer ships, or ignoring the abuse present in heterosexual ones to provide an alternative. but that’s… its own entire can of worms that i’ll crack open at a later date.
tl;dr, think critically, and always for yourself. an analysis shouldn’t be trying to end a conversation, they should always be seen as an addition to them. the author attempting anything else is a major red flag. you should always be trying to find the parts of analyses that you agree and disagree with!! don’t let anyone tell you want to think, that is for you and you alone to decide.
i know this is honestly seems like a non-issue, but media literacy is an incredibly important skill to have in the real world, and it starts with the very media (and commentary of said media) you consume. stay critical chat ily
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peachiekeaneart · 4 months ago
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(feat. my actual mobility aids and my actual medications)
ramblings under the cut:
been working on this one since July. I don’t often make art that is extremely personal or intimate bc I’m a clown. However this one is very important to me.
I’m slowly coming to terms with the fact that I am (and kind of always have been?) disabled. I struggle with so much - jobs, learning, daily pain and fatigue, mental illness, emotional regulation, dysfunctional eating, trauma - and on top of it all, I struggle with imposter syndrome. Sure, I seem to struggle more than the average person, but what if im accidentally making it all up?
For about as long as I can remember, I have been told to suck it up or muscle through it or to tough it out. So I did. I tried this for a long ass time. frankly a looney tunes amount of time.
As it turns out, when your shit is chronic, there’s no such thing as breaking through to the other side. You can’t get over it like a cold. I’m not trudging through a temporary rough patch of mud towards a smooth, paved sidewalk that I can see just a few feet away. The idea of a Promised Land where my one and only brain and body on this god forsaken earth just ~functions normally~ is a damn lie, a mirage on the desert horizon. It’s a beautiful trick that’s used against me to make me push myself beyond my limits.
And like a good little fool, i fucking fell for it, over and over again, for a literal decade, without anything to show for my journey. Not only am I just as far away from this Promised Land as I ever was, but years of overextending and overworking myself has yielded nothing but more injuries, more stress, and more insecurities.
So I made this colorful little piece. It has 100 bespoke layers and took me a grand total of 30 hours to complete. My meds look like candy because I love taking them. I’m in my comfy clothes even though they don’t always reflect my gender accurately. I display my wrist brace and my cane without guilt. For this one, I actively disregarded Art Rules in favor of following whatever was pleasing to my eye.
This one is for me, exactly the way I am: I am a mess, I care too much, I have no chill, I’ve got big feelings, and I’m incapable of half-assing anything no matter how much I want to. This is my way of honoring everything I’ve muscled through, regardless of how privately or publicly I did so. It’s a reminder to myself.
Anyway. tl;dr this baby contains multitudes *slaps it like the hood of a car*
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angelfleurry · 4 months ago
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Can I request Ryoma with a insecure!reader who used to be bullied on her looks and feels not pretty enough for him?
Ryoma X Insecure! Fem! Reader Who Used to Be Bullied on Her Looks:
Hello, lovey! Thank you for requesting. This is the first Ryoma request I’ve had on this blog, so I’m super excited!! I used to write for him every once in a while back when I was Wattpad based, and this was years ago! I’m hoping I’m not too rusty but I think he may be slightly out of character. Sorry it's short, I was worried I was going to make him too out of character. Also, I’ve used fem! pronouns because in your request, while you didn’t specify, you used them. If you would rather gender neutral, feel free to ask and I’ll be more than happy to edit it for you! <3
I feel for this request, honestly. I’ve had comments made about me before, one time even message after message, a few times relayed to me by people who were told it when I wasn’t around. There were other things but, regardless, I’m happy with how I look now. I’ve grown into my face and while I still have days where the mirror is my worst enemy, I generally feel so much prettier. But having those comments made when you were a young teenager can really do a number on you.
Although, one time I found out one of my old friends had said something and confronted him and the way he scrambled to apologise made me laugh honestly. I just think people need to learn to take a chill pill. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and there are people who will find you beautiful, but it’s more important that you learn to find yourself beautiful. Easier said than done but not impossible.
TL;DR - its so lame to bully people for how they look.
~~
♡ You are constantly hyperaware of how you look to people, and it’s so hard for you to stay relaxed because of it.
♡ If there’s anything with a reflective surface, you have to look into it.
♡ You could be passing by a car window, a shop window, a mirror, or sometimes you’d even just pull up your phone camera.
♡ It didn’t matter what it was, you couldn’t help but check.
♡ To the average observer, you probably looked rather self-absorbed.
♡ When, in reality, you were filled with dread the second you looked.
♡ Going out in public wasn’t something you couldn’t do, but it certainly made you anxious.
♡ Every now and again, during your outings, you’d suddenly become very aware of the fact you had a face.
♡ Now, everyone’s aware they’ve got a face, but I’m talking a deeper level of awareness.
♡ You could only imagine what people were seeing when they looked at you.
♡ Talking or eating around people was even worse.
♡ You wondered how your face rested when you weren’t relying on perfecting it in the mirror, how your lips curled and flattened as you spoke, how you looked under lightning.
♡ You just wanted to feel pretty, but nothing was working.
♡ None of this was a result of your own vanity, but rather a distressing consequence.
♡ You had been subjected to cruel treatment regarding your appearance in the past, having been faced with nasty comparisons, comments, and sometimes even physical aggression.
♡ Bullying, that’s what it was.
♡ You didn’t understand it. You were just existing, and yet that alone had bothered so many people.
♡ Why…?
♡ It did not matter that it was now the future, and that these people may or may not be gone from your life; you still hurt.
♡ Sometimes you wondered what Ryoma saw in you.
♡ He had been your boyfriend for a good few months now but, while you knew he cared about you, you still couldn’t feel fully confident.
♡ You didn’t feel good enough for him.
♡ You didn’t feel pretty enough for him.
♡ Why you? Was he not embarrassed?
♡ There were so many other girls around, so many that you believed were prettier than you, and yet he was with you?
♡ You didn’t get it, you couldn’t get it.
♡ Sometimes, you’d look at these other girls, or stare at yourself in the mirror, and wonder why on Earth he was sticking around.
♡ Was he not disgusted? Were you even pretty enough for him?
♡ Why did he love you?
♡ You knew there was more to it than looks, but the idea of you being unbearable to look at had crossed your mind every now and then.
♡ After all, people had said it you before, it’s not like it couldn’t happen again.
♡ Eye contact was hard for you to maintain sometimes. If you felt that, if you were looking for too long, Ryoma would start to see your flaws.
♡ He had come to know about your history, of course.
♡ The issue at hand was this:
♡ To Ryoma, though he would never properly admit it due to the utter softness of it, he could never find disgust for your appearance.
♡ But you could and he couldn’t fix that, he was more than aware.
♡ The damage had been done, and he was no miracle maker.
♡ But, he’d be damned if he were to just enable these feelings.
♡ “You need to stop abiding to the standards of others.” he’d told you a few times, deep voice gruff with pure honesty every time, “Cos that doesn’t help anybody.”
♡ “Those people had different standards, most likely extremely unreachable ones,” he’d said another time you’d brought it up, “Regardless, you cannot let these people define the rest of your life.”
♡ “Your face is the face you’ve got, and you will have to look at it throughout your life,” he continued, sitting next to you now, “You need to learn to value who you are despite these experiences.”
♡ You frowned a little, feeling slightly attacked. You knew this was just how he was, but it felt so raw it honestly startled you.
♡ “I suppose,” you nodded, “But, it’s so hard.”
♡ “And I understand that,” he told you calmly, “I’m not exactly the most conventional standard, am I?”
♡ You sighed, “Maybe not for some, but for me you’re perfect.”
♡ He smiled slightly at this, very very faintly.
♡ “Well, there you go.” was all he said on this, slightly nodding.
♡ Even if his direct responses in the moment aren’t always the most comforting, he will take it into account.
♡ He tends to demonstrate his reassurance through other means, such as petnames.
♡ Has adopted the term “dollface” or “doll” for you, and he says it every now and again.
♡ Not all the time, because then it takes away the meaning, but he says it.
♡ He makes a point to make eye contact with you, even if you can’t do the same.
♡ “You’re fine.” he tells you, watching as you get absorbed into your head.
♡ And then he gives you this soft smile, nodding proudly as you refocus, and it makes you feel a little bit better.
♡ If he catches you glancing into a reflective surface with a little too much concern or for a little too long, he’s quick to bring you out of it.
♡ “You look lovely,” he’ll tell you gently, “Don’t let them get to you.”
♡ And then, there’s moments where he looks at you, or moments where it’s too quiet, and he can’t help but say exactly what he feels.
♡ “You are more than enough,” and his voice is always so casually soft as he says it.
♡ “You will never know how much you mean to me, Y/N.”
♡ “I wish you could see yourself the way I do,” he would continue, slightly slower as he shook away the awkwardness, because while it felt silly, he really did mean it, every word, “You are beautiful, even if you don’t believe that.”
♡ “I love you.”
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blluespirit · 27 days ago
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TL;DR: Zuko is not winning any Liar of the Year awards here, but he's by not a ‘bad liar’ either. He's also (apparently surprisingly) not sharing his every deep-seated thought and feeling to anyone and everyone and can in fact, keep a secret.
a canon vs fanon Zuko thing thing I see fairly often that I personally disagree with is that Zuko is constantly over-sharing and telling people too much about himself and his problems.
People love to use the Book 1 finale incident when he talks to Aang's unconscious body in the cave, but that feels like a bizarre example because... he's more talking to himself. He's not really talking to Aang. Aang can't hear him. Aang is literally none the wiser. It's not an inappropriate time or person or unreciprocated, and honestly the whole thing is more for the audience to get a sense of what in gods green earth is going through Zuko's mind considering how reckless this action was. And even if Aang was awake I still don't know if you could call it oversharing considering Aang has genuinely tried to reach out to Zuko before and tried to understand him (e.g., the Blue Spirit). Of all people, Aang would likely be the most receptive. Like... net zero information gained...
I've seen people use some examples with Iroh which I personally think is pretty ridiculous to count because it's not like he's saying anything Iroh doesn't already know??? Iroh is like the only one in Zuko's orbit who actually knew all the details about his banishment and trauma. I don't know how any scene Zuko could have with Iroh that you could call over-sharing. Zuko also never said shit to his crew about any of his past for like. two whole years. The most they thought of him was angry and spoiled. They didn't actually know anything about him. like... at all. Jee thought his scar was from a training accident.
People like to also use the scene on the ship with Mai in Book 3 when Zuko is returning to the Fire Nation, but even that feels like a bit of a stretch. Yeah, Mai dismisses him and tries to play it off, but nothing Zuko says feels 'too personal' especially when Mai is supposed to be his girlfriend and Zuko has literally not been home in three years. Telling your girlfriend/someone you trust how you feel in a obviously emotionally turbulent situation is not sharing too much, no matter their reaction or whether they asked first.
MAI: Aren't you cold? ZUKO: I've got a lot on my mind. It's been so long, over three years since I was home. I wonder what's changed. I wonder how I've changed. MAI: [Yawns.] I just asked if you were cold, I didn't ask for your whole life story. [Zuko frowns at her sarcastic response. Mai giggles and holds his face in her hands.] MAI: Stop worrying.
Another example I see is when Zuko rants to the badgerfrog. Again, not really an example since the badgerfrog is not a person and the story needed Zuko to Say Things Out Loud so we have some clue about what he's thinking. It's the same thing with the unconscious Aang. It's not oversharing. It's venting. And once again - net zero information achieved!!
Like, none of these instances feel like he's revealed too much information. None of it feels inappropriate in the context of the story.
I think people get 'over-sharer' and 'openly wearing your emotions' lines confused sometimes, but even that gets misconstrued in fandom.
I don't think that Zuko being more open with his emotions than other characters is an incorrect conclusion to make, however, I think there's something to be said about Zuko in book 1 and 2 using anger and rage as a coping mechanism rather than being vulnerable with his emotions.
Zuko will talk about his feelings a lot more in Book 3, which is actually super important to his arc, since he doesn't actually talk about his feelings in a real way in Book 1 and 2 (he's angry most of the time, and the only times I can remember when he does really talk about how he actually feels is usually when things have gotten Real Bad like when Zhao takes his ship or it's the anniversary of his banishment). In Book 3, he's really thinking and reflecting on how he feels and how he felt in different situations.
Even the 'Zuko is a bad liar' gets WAY over-played in fanon!
Yeah Zuko is not great at thinking on his feet when confronted, but it seems very context dependent, actually.
When in dangerous situations, while he's definitely not winning any Best Liar Ever Awards, he's not a bumbling fool either -
Zuko lies to Zhao about the Blue Spirit swords:
ZHAO: I didn't know you were skilled with broadswords, Prince Zuko. ZUKO: I'm not. They're antiques. Just decorative.
While not ultimately convincing, his delivery of it is far from terrible. The circumstances are against him here, though, after all, there are few people who hate Zhao enough to commit treason to stop him from capturing the Avatar than Zuko.
Zuko lies to Zhao about having found the Avatar:
ZHAO: [Pulls up alongside Zuko and smirks.] Two years at sea have done little to temper your tongue. So, how is your search for the Avatar going? ZUKO: [Aggressively.] We haven't found him yet. ZHAO: Did you really expect to? The Avatar died a hundred years ago. [Close-up of Zuko, as he slants his eyes.] Along with the rest of the airbenders. [Close-up of Zhao, whose face contorts in an evil expression.] Unless you have found some evidence that the Avatar is alive? ZUKO: [Faces Zhao and responds very clearly.] No. [Stares back in front of him.] Nothing. ZHAO: [With an expression of disbelief on his face, as he rises from his chair.] Prince Zuko, the Avatar is the only one who can stop the Fire Nation from winning this war. [Leans in and faces Zuko.] If you have an ounce of loyalty left, you'll tell me what you found. ZUKO: I haven't found [Looks up at Zhao and his tone becomes slightly more aggressive.] anything. [Close-up, as he continues on a softer tone, slightly mockingly.] It's like you said. The Avatar probably died a long time ago. [Gets up.] Come on, Uncle, we're going.
I'm not trying to say Zuko is secretly this great liar, but his effort here is commendable. It's his directness that gives him away, but he's not afraid, or nervous, or stumbling over his words like he's often portrayed to be.
Zuko confidently lies to Jet about not being a firebender:
[while on the ferry; you can see Zuko thinks for a second Jet knows who he really is. Jet doesn't pick up on this, and Zuko plays off his fear].
JET: You know, as soon as I saw your scar, I knew exactly who you were. You're an outcast, like me. And us outcasts have to stick together. We have to watch each other's backs. Because no one else will. ZUKO: I've realized lately that being on your own isn't always the best path.
[during Zuko and Jet's fight]
JET: Bet you wish he'd help you out with a little fire blast right now. [As Jet swings at Zuko's feet, Zuko stabs one of his broadswords through the hilt, pinning it to the ground. Jet looks at it with annoyance before focusing back on Zuko.] ZUKO: You're the one who needs help.
Zuko, throughout these interactions, plays off Jet's comments. He's learnt to be vague sometimes (like on the ferry to Ba Sing Se) and be confident when refuting someone. Yeah Zuko did go straight for Bodily Harm but that's very on brand to me.
Zuko lies to Chit Sang about the escape plan without hesitation:
SUKI: But how are you going to get the cooler out? CHIT SANG: [From the staircase.] Yeah, how are you going to get the cooler out? [Jumps down.] SOKKA: [Covering up.] What? We didn't ... w-we didn't say that. ZUKO: Yeah, you heard wrong. CHIT SANG: I heard you hatching an escape plan, and I want in. ZUKO: [stern] There's nothing to get in on. SOKKA: Yeah, the only thing we're hatching is ... an egg? [Zuko lowers his head and Suki covers her eyes while they both sigh in annoyance.]
Zuko comes up with a lie to tell the guards at the Boiling Rock about keeping his helmet on:
MALE GUARD: Hey, new guy! I know it's the rule to have your helmet on at all times, but this is the lounge. Relax. ZUKO: [plays it up] But what if there's an incident? If I'm not prepared, someone could strike me on the head. [The guards laugh.] FEMALE GUARD: Give it a week, he'll loosen up.
However, Zuko most often has the most difficulty lying to people who are kind to him (and who are Azula tbh) -
In Crossroads of Destiny, Zuko and Iroh are now refugees and Zuko bungles this conversation with Song:
ZUKO: [Nervously] Yes, we're travellers. SONG: you have names? ZUKO: Names? Of course we have names. I'm, uh ... Lee and this is my Uncle, uh ... Mushi?
In Tales of Ba Sing Se, Zuko struggles to find even ground with Jin and doesn't know how to answer her questions:
ZUKO: You have ... quite an appetite for a girl. [He fiddles his thumbs awkwardly.] JIN: [Uncomfortably.] Umm ... thanks? So, Lee, where were you and your uncle living before you came here? ZUKO: Umm ... well, we've been traveling around for a long time. JIN: Oh. Why were you traveling so much? ZUKO: We were ... uh, part of this traveling circus. JIN: Really? What did you do? Wait, lemme guess. [She thinks for a moment and quickly points at him.] You juggled! ZUKO: [Zuko folds his arms and looks annoyed.] Yes, I juggled.
In Zuko Alone, he's at a loss for words when asked his name:
SELA: Does this guy have a name? ZUKO: [Nervously.] I'm... uh... GANSU: [Off-camera.] He doesn't have to say who he is if he doesn't want to, Sela. [Cuts to shot of him standing with his family.] Anyone who can hold his own against those bully soldiers is welcome here. Those men should be ashamed to wear Earth Kingdom uniforms.
Listen, he's not weaving any incredible tales here, but he's not this bumbling little uwu boy who's completely helpless without Iroh or the Gaang that for some reason is incredibly persistent in fan depictions of him.
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bibibbon · 6 months ago
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as one of the three mustard fans i feel obligated to yap about him to anyone who will listen.
in the grand scheme of things he’s not particularly important, but the few scenes he’s in definitely are.
he brings up something that many people forgot while watching the show.
that even in a world where people can turn their skin into steel or shoot acid from their hands, a bullet is a bullet.
that no matter how powerful your quirk is, if you get shot in the head you’re gonna fucking die 😭 i mean unless you have a regeneration quirk but those are pretty rare and if someone unloads a revolver into your skull i doubt your quirk would be able to keep up with the damage.
it shows people that a villain doesn’t need a powerful quirk to be dangerous. someone who’s competent with a gun or a knife can be just as dangerous as someone like dabi.
he’s also extremely intelligent. being able to tell where people are based on the movement of the gas isn’t something inherently related to his quirk, it’s a learned skill. he’s also very skilled with his gun, he was able to destroy tetsutetsu’s mask with one point blank shot. as well as being able to hit the same spot multiple times to break through tetsutetsu’s hardening.
when kendo says that mustard carries a gun around because he “can’t win a fight on his own merits” as much as i love her, she’s really stupid for that.
snipe’s whole thing is guns. his quirk has nothing to do with guns inherently, he just chose to use them. and support gear is a massive industry in this universe.
and no one talks about why this middle schooler has a gun and is hanging out with the LOV. that’s not exactly normal middle schooler behavior.
i have some theories so bear with me while i ramble about him.
so obviously he has a villainous quirk. his gas can kill people if they’re exposed to a concentrated amount of it for long enough. and he can’t control where the gas goes, only how much he releases.
(this is more of a headcannon but i like it too much to not share it. his father can create small amounts of purple mist around his body, and his mother sweats bleach. but one of his grandparents could create an ammonia based gas. and what happens when you mix ammonia and bleach? you get mustard gas. ik it’s kinda dumb but i like it.)
i believe that he had a hard time controlling his quirk as a child. with strong emotions causing him to activate his quirk.
in this universe there’s definitely schools/institutions for kids with dangerous quirks. so his parents probably shipped off to one of those institutions so they didn’t have to deal with him.
i feel like he resents the UA students because if an employer sees they went to UA, they have a way higher chance of getting the job.
but when they see that he went to an institution for kids with dangerous quirks, he could be rejected on the spot.
tl;dr i love mustard someone please sedate me
Since you posted this ask to me Iam assuming that Iam one of the three mustard fans and Iam honoured to be recognised as such.
As you know I have talked about mustard before and the potential his storyline has here.
Your whole rant makes me think that mustard in canon is basically the vision people have for fanon villain izuku and I love it.
Mustard brings up a good point which is that people rely on their quirks too much because someone with a uselss or a weak quirk can still be dangerous and powerful by honing in their other skills. Heroes who rely on their quirks primarily and nothing else are the ones that get injured and hurt the most because even if you have a powerful quirk it's not guaranteed to help you in every situation. Sometimes quirks cant always go up against technology as we see in the vigilante arc technology can very much overpower strong quirks whether you like it or not.
Oh I actually do like your headcanon. Personally I have always interpreted mustard as having an anaesthetic type quirk something similar to midnight. I wish the series delved into midnight and mustard interactions especially because mustard is too young to go to jail as people in Japan can only be punished for their crimes when they're above the age of 14.
Reputations and public image are very important things in MHA whether you're a hero or not. Mustard going to that type of institution is interesting although I don't think there are any in canon. I have interpreted it as mustard having something similar to toga where they both suffered from horrible quirk counselling and were told to control themselves not taught how and an incident happend and they ended up here. However everything that comes to mustard to me is 10 times more interesting simply because of how young he really is and how vague everything about him is
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two things:
love your blog. thank you for providing a safe space for fellow freaks to use social media without having to worry about threats. seriously, thank you dude<3
i unironcally love anya x jimmy. i like to think he had a crush on her but she was out of his league, or jealous that curly got her instead of him. i also really like ( going with the theory the damage of the IDs reflects the guilt he feels) that in his eyes, he did nothing wrong to her. i love "you're too good for me i dont deserve you so i'll take what i think is mine". i love her trying to fix him. raaaaa
also, why does anya x jimmy get *signficantly* more hate than curly x jim? like he abused both. they're both toxic ships 😭
anyways yeah anya x jim ftw!!!!!!!
1. yay tysm, there should always be a safe place in fandoms despite my personal opinions! Whether if I agree or not shouldn’t matter as long as someone feels safe admitting it on this blog or dms!
2. Jimanya is more hated bc (based off of what I know) Jimmys abuse towards Curly hasn’t been actually canonized or rather talked about by Wrong Organ. Jimmys abuse towards Anya is clear and an important part of the story. While in my personal opinion, Curly has definitely experienced some of Jimmy’s abuse in the past, it’s still technically a headcanon or something up for interpretation.
I’m answering this because there’s actually some confusion about this so I hope this helps.
(tl;dr: Jimmy’s abuse towards Curly isn’t technically canonized while Jimmys abuse towards Anya is)
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starcurtain · 6 months ago
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A Very Specific Blade Fic I Want to Read
Every once in a while I get an itch to read a gen fic and those gen fics just never exist, so hear me out:
I want to read a fic where the Stellaron Hunters specifically need Dan Heng for something. It's, I don't even know, some Xianzhou Fanghu Vidyadhara nonsense that only a High Elder can handle or whatever.
It's convenient that they've got the Express on speed dial, but putting Blade and Dan Heng in the same enclosed space for too long is a big no-go for Blade's mara, so Kafka calls up Himeko and is like "Hear me out--what if we trade. We'll take your dragon boy for a few short days, and in the meantime, you all can keep an eye on Bladie for us."
Everyone thinks this is a stupid idea, but somehow it happens anyway.
And weirdly, Blade is a complete non-issue on the Express. As far as most of the Express crew know, Blade is staying in the visitors' cabin with the door locked and not even coming out for food. He might be dead in there, actually. ("Maybe we should knock?" "Let's give him some space, March.")
But there is one person on the train who is having a very, very different experience with their erstwhile visitor, and that's Pom-Pom.
Because every night, when everyone else on the train is asleep, Blade is wandering out of his cabin to come sit in the parlor car. The phonograph is playing low, gentle music, and watching the stars passing outside through the windows is strangely relaxing to the normally barely suppressed monster that is Blade's mara. He feels... calm.
But Pom-Pom, who sort of lives in the parlor car, is terrified within an inch of their life.
No one else is around!! Who is going to help protect the poor conductor if this Stellaron Hunter decides Pom-Pom would be good for a midnight snack?! Why's this guy gotta carry around a sword all the time?!
But when nothing happens and Blade basically ignores Pom-Pom's existence, the conductor starts to go from panicked to... well, a little insulted, frankly! How dare anyone ignore the train's highest authority?! Being conductor is a serious responsibility that commands respect!
"Y-You should go to sleep!" Pom-Pom is very proud of themself for plucking up the courage to give Passenger Blade some important life advice.
But "Hm?" is all Blade says.
Why, the nerve of this guy!
Thus begins Pom-Pom the great and illustrious Astral Express conductor's grand plans to improve the attitude of one Passenger Stellaron Hunter Blade.
It goes slightly better than you'd imagine. Blade may be a mara-struck death-seeking unholy magical abomination but he does have manners, okay? The bunny isn't hurting anybody. Its wrath can be endured. (Maybe Sam and Silver Wolf would like a picture of its puffy tail?)
At some point, someone in the Express crew definitely catches Blade petting a passed out Pom-Pom in his lap. No one knows whether or not Pom-Pom passed out from fear or fatigue, and no one is going to stay long enough to ask.
Basically, tl;dr: Blade visits the Astral Express and bonds with Pom-Pom of all people.
After the Stellaron Hunters' mission is over, Blade is now registered as a guest of the Astral Express. But he only ever comes in the middle of the night, broods silently for an hour while Pom-Pom chats his ear off, and then leaves.
That's it. That's the fic.
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