#titan's laughing at your stupidity // meme

[joethehoeee]

Rise of titans actually made me laugh for so stupid reasons and I wanted to share this with you.

It's insane honestly.

THE PURE LOOK OF HORROR IN STRICKLER'S FACE WHEN JIM FALLS TO HIS DEATH AND THEN-

Barb is like 😯

Mrs. Lake, your son is falling to a cruel and unimaginably painful death and THAT is your reaction? Even you won't be able to fix him up after that, even if you are a good doctor.

Strickler looks so desprately fearful as if it is the worst thing he could ever imagine (it may be) and Barb is like "oh, well, surprised he made it this far"

GIRL THAT’S YOUR SON!!!!! YOUR S-O-N!!!

Where did the worried mother from 3 damn seasons go? Why is she not here.

And before you ask, this is not just an unconventional screenshot, it's the whole shot. (as far as I remember, tbh I refuse to rewatch it more than once)

Like real talk, this is so funny to me.

The difference is insane...(I should stop using that word...but I don't know anything else)

Walter could be used for memes tbh.

I BEG YOU ALL. Make memes as much as you can. Unrelated or related to trollhunters. That would be so funny !!! We need to take over the fandom!

[feraliminal]

Titan TVman and Beowulf are Basically the Same Character: Why Skibidi Toilet Is Folklore

It’s been a long time since I’ve touched the hellsite (I used to doodle and write dirty fic), but I’m fascinated by the silly toilet men videos, their popularity, and the confusion about their popularity. And because I’m a huge nerd and always want to know why people do things, I wrote something. It’s too long to leave on my Notes app and forget about, and I’m also not letting skibidi toilets anywhere near my serious blog. So I actually came back to Tumblr for this.

(Also the first stupid doodle I’ve done in forever, here’s the original meme.)

Toilet humour is obviously a huge part of why it’s so popular, and imho it’s a poop joke that got bigger than the creator intended it to. Toilets are endlessly amusing, particularly for kids, because learning to manage your waste is essential to being a civilised person but something that no one really wants to do. Some of the first conflicts between kids and their parents are often around cleanliness and potty training, and as we get older, the toilet is one of the few places where we’re first alone, particularly if we share a bedroom with siblings. Childlore and fiction about childhood is full of toilets: bullies that strike in school toilets, toilet ghosts like Bloody Mary and Hanako-san, people who died on the loo, and rats or spiders that bite your bum. It’s a classic example of a liminal space that looks mundane but could be full of scary shit.

So that’s my first smart theory, Skibidi Toilet is a contemporary haunted toilet story with something to do with dirt and discomfort vs tech. Clever theories about symbolism are fun and I think symbolism that feels relevant and familiar might be why something first attracts someone’s attention, but I don’t think it can explain the thing having fandom.

The only thing people love as much as poop jokes is stories about cool guys having punch ups, and there’s plenty of that as well. Visually and thematically, Skibidi uses all the tropes that we love in serious popular media - fights, explosions, monsters, giants, noise, the aforementioned cool robots. Swap out skibidi toilets for alien invaders, and cameramen with plungers for cyborgs with swords, and we’d have a respectable alien apocalypse story that’s identical to five other summer blockbusters. But as it is, it’s so ridiculous that it can only be a silly little internet video.

There’s a video by MatPat making a convincing argument that it’s actually about the conflict between independent content creators and the conventional media industry. But again, I think it’s also probably only indirectly what’s turning curious views into millions of subscriptions, especially since the earlier netlore was pretty niche. I think what viewers are picking up on is the dissonance between cool robots, apocalypse horror, and silly toilets, evidenced by most of the comments on YouTube being variation of “why is this actually good”. It’s got the same vibe as other stuff I’d classify as creepypasta-style or meme-style horror: Five Nights at Freddy’s, Among Us, Homestuck, and so on. In meme horror, there is an in-universe threat to characters that’s not played for laughs. However, something like a ridiculous gimmick, a parody of pop culture, or a dissonantly cute art style makes it clear that adult viewers who understand it as fiction don’t have to respect the threat.

The line between feared and respected has always been thin. A cool example of this is the word aglæca in Beowulf and other Old English texts. Aglæca is a debated word because it’s mainly used to describe monsters and demons, but is sometimes used to describe heroes and saints. Both the human hero Beowulf and his monster opponent Grendel are called aglæca. Based on this use and its etymology, some medieval studies scholars think it means something more like an uncanny and powerful outsider. I think a big part of meme horror’s appeal is that it’s still got heroes who are more or less serious characters fighting serious battles. We can respect the characters and their struggles even if we don’t fear the absurd stuff. I’ve chosen Titan TVman for my silly title because they’re the character that best embodies the “uncanny hero” aspect for me, but tbh I think that most meme horror heroes/anti-heroes seem to be these character types.

We know that enjoying horror fiction helps some people manage anxiety and fear, and comedy horror can help us laugh at fear. With the retained seriousness besides the playfulness, meme horror might be more beneficial than basic serious or comedy horror as a comfortably uncomfortable middle ground between the two. Cringe is currently having a cultural moment too, where concerns about and celebrations of being cringe are everywhere, so it might also give us a way of exploring and processing our feelings about embarrassment as well as fear.

Memes, and therefore meme horror, are very amenable to being collaboratively and spontaneously adapted and spread by regular folk. They’re a new form of folklore, essentially. They address stuff that’s relevant to the lives of regular folk, including ugly and uncomfortable things. There’s even a theory that the culture of the very online has began an era of “secondary orality” where how we spread stories on the internet replicates how we used to spread folk stories by word-of-mouth. Secondary orality is a double-edged sword, as it can build creative and supportive communities, but also spreads conspiracy theories and hate. No wonder some of us might not be having our needs fulfilled by regular horror fiction, if we’re facing the bad kind of secondary orality as well as everything else that’s going on in the world. (More allegories! An increasingly absurd and hostile world is another theme in Skibidi Toilet.)

The 1938 book Homo Ludens argued that doing things just for fun has defined features and benefits: play gives us freedom to express ourselves, it’s separate from everyday life, it allows us to construct new worlds with new rules, and it’s never compulsory or for profit. When we’re bombarded by media that’s designed to extract the maximum amount of profit from us, engaging with mainstream entertainment might sometimes feel not as playful or as voluntary. But by being a bit cringe, meme horror retains the appearance of being indie and just for fun even if it becomes obscenely popular.

So, for me, this is what Skibidi Toilet is about. It’s about new folklore playing the same role as old folklore, even if it looks like silly toilet men videos, because we’re essentially the same people as our ancestors telling monster stories around the fire.

[caffeinated-and-annoying-bard]

Lord forgive me but there are girls in there. In my school. They have known me for 3 years and I don't talk much to most of them but i need to vent a bit. Ceaseless and meaningless rambles. Today was the last day of class for my 5th semester (only exams and final engineering project are left) and I'm emotional

Andy and her eyebags. I don't know her very well, but everybody knows that Andy has the hugest eyebags you'll see in your life, her face is sharp and when she smiles you can see something scary in there. She's so sharp. She has won best orator at our school contests for 3 years straight, many external poetry-reciting contests, is in the board of secretaries for tecmun, and currently getting into med school in CDMX. I think I've got a head and a half on her, but you almost never notice how short she is, with the way she can make a room go quiet, as she scans your eyes in search of– something. I think she saw fear in mine once. She didn't bite me, she smiled and my heart almost failed me right there–. She's the girlfriend of one of my engineering classmates, Leo, good man, awesome taste. I wish I had spent more time watching her (or talking to her, for that matter) during these last 2 and a half years.

Azul and her movements. Azul is my friend, she's in all of my classes and we've become very close this semester (I'm sure I could have loved her. It frustrates me a bit, the ways in which I didn't cooperate at all. We're just too similar, except that she's smarter, funnier, more hardworking, a bit taller, calmer, and has some sort of calm glow around her. She dances, she writes, she's in theatre with me, she learns so many things so fast and she's already applying for the uni scholarships in our school. I'll take a sabbatical year, but goddamn I feel like I'm missing it. I still have time, I could go to the same course as her (we have both been aiming for mechatronical engineering) and be by her side for 3 years. I will never get back every single French class when we cannot stop laughing at some stupid thing and saying nerd shit at each other (mostly her, though. That's a compliment. She has so much in her brain, so much in her soul. She's also very tired.) She dances– silly little choreographies that can look elegant while still meme-able– whenever she's stressed. I could have loved her. I love her in the only way you can love someone you didn't get enough time with, someone that you know will be separated from you in half a year. But you know, I could have loved her properly. If I had been less of an idiot.

Abril and her round glasses. She's my best friend. We've been growing a bit apart this semester, because I'm a mess and she's a different one and also she's got a boyfriend (better than her ex-girlfriend. She sucked. This guy is nice, listens to my advice and we're streak-friends in duolingo) but I'm pretty sure I'll never manage to understand how to live without her? From the friendgroup that formed when we started highschool, she's the only one that stuck. She and I, we took it as a defiance of those who hurt us. Hurt her. Mostly her. Sometimes we hold hands and I feel like we're meant to be there, like the only ones who are properly allowed to snicker during a 6-hour long bus ride are she and I. For a time this summer, I thought i was in love with her (when I want to Vienna for our student exchange program, she went too. There wasn't a day in which we didn't talk about anything and everything, and she was fighting with the asshole (now i can call her that) that was her girlfriend then (fuck you sofía). It was just her (her long, soft blonde hair and her huge round glasses and brown eyes like the dream of a titan. Her intelligence, which hits you in the face. It's nice to have a friend that knows at least a bit of anything, and everything about some things. I'm a know-it-all, she ACTUALLY feels like she could possibly know it all. When she looks at you so coolly and she has a pencil in her hand and you just know she's about to draw your bare soul. When she explains something about literature, medicine, philosophy, chemistry, physics, history, art? Psychology?? Her voice is a constant stream of repeated information in my brain) and me against everyone else. Her voice could wake me up from a coma, if she told me she was hungry and we should go get food. She's a very negative person sometimes. Also a trump supporter, I think? And me, a selfish dickhead who's too deep in his own victimisation to analise how my behaviour affects others with my 180° from "tears up on the thought of being selfish" to "i'll never apologise again" (none of those mentalities has ever stopped me from hurting people and being toxic, mind you), is frustrated. I'm frustrated with her. She knows me better than I know myself and I should know her better. But I know this will get better, she'll get better and I'll do my best to try not to hide from her tomb-of-a-hundred-secrets brown, all-knowing gaze. I love her. We have time.

Eun Chae and I haven't talked in 2 years. The fight with the 1st semester group did it, and she hurt Abril so, so much. I still think she's pretty.

Mariana was in my classroom during my first year. She's stunning. She was openly bi and talked to me in that "i am speaking spanglish and could be very mean if i wanted to but i am not. Because i like you!" Tone that i've always hid from. Niña fresa voice, but she was nice to me (whenever i let her copy my french and programming homework, at least). She dropped out of the multicultural program last year, and i never admitted it out loud but i only started watching Good Omens because a pretty girl told me to. I am a weak man, and an animal (although I loved Good Omens, that was never a contention point). Abril's ex-girlfriend told her (and she told me) that Mariana had said to her(the ex) that she only talked to me because I let her copy my homework, and that I was "pretending to be autistic and making a fuss" (paraphrased, what she said in spanish can be taken much more harshly). The day she comprehends the feeling of not-belonhing, of inhumanity, the constant chant of rejection on the back of my head will be the day I feel true vindication. I am not a good person, and I have never been one, but I thought I could be, 2 years ago. I proved myself wrong.

I thought Ana was pretty when we were friends. She's the only one, one of the onlt girls at my school whom I think is ugly. She's not, objectively, but she did so much harm, on purpose and knowingly and with so much venom in it, all with the voice tone of an angel. I don't think she's pretty anymore.

There was the girl from my volleyball team in 1st year that hugged me once and I never recovered from it. I never caught her name and I'm too awkward to ask now, but she knows mine and says hi to me after my physics class every morning. She's tall and athletic and carries a blanket to school because she cannot be bothered with the cold. She's, from what I've seen, a sunshine in the least romanticised way possible: she burns you with her brightness. She's awesome.

Majo is so strong. So short. So, so short. She's a horse girl who's on the go for a B2 in Japanese, she plans her family trips all on her own and plays genshin impact in class (then asks for us to explain calculus to her. Icon). What I like most of her is the feeling of chaotic comfort she can bring into a room. She will pick me (I have like 2 heads and a bit on her) up and/or drag me through the floor. She will laugh. I will laugh, and the teasing will feel so unfamiliar yet fitting that I can't help but love her. I love being her friend, she sends pictures of her horse, Lukka and sends 10min long audios of F1 gossip. She bakes for fun even though she can't eat it (fear of family diabetes) she BROUGHT A WHOLE BAG OF BAKED GOODS TO SHARE IN CLASS BECAUSE TODAY WAS OUR LAST CLASS DAY BEFORE THE EXAMS. She's so lively, so lovely. She can make you feel safe and listened-to while pulling your hair and making fun of you. I wish I had made friends with her earlier.

From a year below, there's Zuri, Luz and Renata (there's so much about them but I'm getting tired) from theatre and from 1st year there's Sofi, Pau, Mariali, Maat. There's Sofi, Mariana (a different one) Mila and Miriam from uni (our campus is big so all of them are in theatre with us)

There's stupid idiot motherfucking Sofía (Abril's ex) whom I'm so happy to no longer be obligated to talk to.

There's so many more girls in my classroom to talk about. I'm graduating in a semester and there are so many girls I never made friends with. I'm a weak man. (I do have male friends, of course, and some of them even make me feel like one of them, but this post is for getting emotional over girls. They are pretty. Thank you for your understanding).

[lucifersresources]

stupid shit said in discord servers part two meme.

edit/alter/change pronouns etc as you see fit!  

where did i put the moon.

where is the moon?

am i pathetic enough?

demon, leave my nipples alone.

jfk is a werewolf.

jfk is wizard. no a werewolf. no both!

he's not a werewolf, he's a wizard.

adventure time was not on my bingo card.

have you seen the latest gay twitter discourse?

she's borderline toxic, don't encourage her.

at least tie me up if you're going to put me in the corner.

don't fake middle name me.

i'm not coming back till i get an APOLOGY.

do any gay people want to talk while we have long long line

why didn't you tell us about your titanic connection?

otter drama > the folly of man.

ah yes, i'm a moron.

i can't think of one attractive blonde male.

he's gay and mean.

i can't bully you, i have you pencilled in for tomorrow!

i just dreamed you didn't know what a teaspoon was.

me, laugh? :o never o’ omniscient one, not even once my panopticonical overlord

i'm gonna throw you in the ocean.

how to kill a horcrux: Fiendfyre, Basilisk Venom, embarrassment

i found another porn reader!

no you're dead.

be...cause... he looks breedable?

i'm sorry you're covered in nutty creamer.

I personally love when creamers explode on me

don't let blender blades bite

rise of the lost Thems.

he's your type, which is not my type

don't you love hairy titties?

i want him to beat me up.

side note, i'm not getting fired.

[purplemys]

Living in a developing country myself, surrounded by poverty and hardships, I am sure it needs to be said: Not being invested in the lives and deaths of rich people (yes, I do mean generally wealthy people) is one thing.

Laughing at, mocking, and making memes about their possible demise and now confirmed demise is another level of gross lack of basic respect. Yes, you will not catch the common crowd in such conditions. Yes, the Titanic is considered a gravesite. What do we do when we don't actually care or sympathize with someone at all who died?You ignore them. People can mock the most heinous, pedophiles, sex offenders of any kind- sure. But these people, I'm willing to bet most of us don't know them personally. Nothing I've seen indicated that they deserved one of the worst experiences ever. It baffles me. I've seen all the takes imaginable, from how these people "had it coming" and "they don't deserve that kind of attention that should be put on something more important." I've seen genuinely stupider scenarios and it all ends the same. With all of them dead and the families mourning. There's no change, justice or vindication in that.

The bodies on that submarine will likely be found obliterated... You can't really take back those kinds of remains to the family unless you want them to do it thoroughly which I doubt they'll do... so guess there's not much closure for the families either.

Then there's the "issue" with the supposed news coverage. I only heard about this incident through the memes. The incident with the refugees, I caught wind of through public outcry. I genuinely don't see how people are somehow "putting more importance on a bunch of scummy millionaires than a hundreds of refugees."

I care about both honestly. The world is going to shit and I can't care less about how rich someone is when something horrific happens.

"Eat the rich" this "Eat the rich" that. You laughing at their deaths ain't gonna distribute the wealth to the poor or tell the goverment to give a shit about the poverty and strife-ridden areas. All you guys are doing are showing how little you care about their lives and their loved ones.

I'm real sick of the blatant disregard for people dying just because the people were rich and reckless (and probably disrespectful, depending on how you look at it).

Save your clowning to yourself, honestly, you guys are insensitive. It's not funny, not even a little bit.

[alternativeulster]

you guys are so fucking stupid laughing at the titanic disaster with all your "drown the rich" bullshit. first class were prioritised for lifeboats, most of them survived. it's overwhelmingly the people in 3rd class who died but y'all don't wanna talk about that because it doesn't fit your haha funny boat sank memes. class solidarity is fucking dead

I really do think 1914 tumblr would have the most atrocious discourse going on, behind only 1915, 1916, and 1917 tumblr

[talonsandtails]

I’m gonna say it again; the people celebrating the now confirmed deaths of the passengers on the Titan are foul, disgusting, pathetic excuses for humans. This isn’t fricking about you and your own stupid financial problems. Using this as an excuse to get attention and pity is beyond disgustingly selfish. Is it even that hard to fake sympathy and keep your own evil opinions to yourself? Imagine what the families of the victims are going through and the entirety of social media is laughing in their faces making fricking memes about how they “deserved it” because “oh I’m poor and it’s these randos fault.”

[titanstransparentsinc]

These are too fun to make tbh

- Mod Sad Tree Man

[rviner]

"Like method acting?" Ines teases but Jakob's humor keeps her chuckles lingering. When he hits her with the line for her number, however, the laughter bubbles up. "Holy shit, that was smooth." but of course she complies, adding in her number and passing back his phone with a grin. "That's a dangerous game, because I'll be making some memes out of you, too." Ines tells him confidently, a smirk twitching at the corner of her lips. She can feel Jakob's eyes on her, and only when she's sure he's no longer looking does Ines let her own gaze move to him again. She thought she was too old now to get butterflies or the stupid giddiness with a crush, but she guesses she was wrong.

"Yeah, like guard dogs. Right now my dad has Ghost and Titan." not that Santiago needs to seem more intimidating but another laugh slips from her in the next moment. "Yeah, like...quick hide the Frisbee, dawg." Ines cackles quickly at the terrible pun, but she's more amused by the tiny hand she uses to smoke with and Jakob's reaction. "Well, you said I had tiny hands, now you're mad you're right?" she shrugs off his teasing, a wide smile sticking to her lips. "I bet she'd know, she's like three and already so sassy." Ines chuckles fondly about her niece. Her eyes roll teasingly about being a she-hulk but she lets out another genuine laugh. "Honestly, maybe you were made to be in a Scooby Doo remake." she suggests with a compliment in her tone. "The Shaggy run is literally the best thing I've ever seen, you're doing your own stunts already."

Ines' laughter fades when a worker leaves the casino, reminding her that they're not really alone. She plucks her almost finished cigarette from the tiny hand with a small but reluctant nod. "Oh, yeah, sure. Guess we yapped a little too long." Ines chuckles, now pulling the tiny hand off her finger with one very clear thought in her mind. She really doesn't want to stop talking to Jakob, or to go back into the party and just be watching the room for him. Ines falls quiet when they head back inside, offering him a slight smile when she expects them to part ways but then her steps purposely slow. "There's like a...my granddad kept a bunch of retro casino stuff from when he bought it. For me and Isla because we loved it. Do you wanna see?" Ines asks him, gesturing towards the stairs and lingering back from the doors heading into the event. Please say yes, she feels herself thinking. "But like, another time is good too, if you gotta get back."

Jakob snorts, giving a vehement nod. "Oh yeah, definitely, once I'm on set it's like," he draws a hand across his face and frowns, "night and day. Can't you tell?" Another grin, another laugh, and he forgets that they're actually at a party, or that there are other people just beyond the door. Right now, it's just the two of them, Ines' laugh sparking a smile across his face as he shakes his head. "But yeah, that's kinda the character's MO. Broody and mysterious and tortured. Can't forget tortured." Some scenes it all feels too close to home, but for the most part, Jakob enjoys the levity of the set and his costars. "Well, it was a good meme. I'll probably end up using when we text," he says smoothly, only taking his phone back to open the contacts page so she can add hers. "She is really cute." Jakob agrees, even as he gaze is caught on Ines.

He notes the increased proximity and shifts slightly, as though he can't hear her well enough from where is is already. Jakob takes a slight drag because I keep forgetting he's smoking as well and cants his head to the side. "Ah, so they're like police dogs? Do you ever think other dogs see police dogs with their vests and shit and think oh that's a cop?" Jakob queries with a shit-eating grin, rolling his eyes at her riffing, even as a smirk tugs at his lips. "Okay that's not what I– you know what, forget it," he huffs good-naturedly. He can't say he's surprised when she takes out the tiny hands but it still prompts a cackle from the Ranström. "What the fuck. You're a weirdo, you know that, Ines?" But there's a warmth as he says it, snickering at the way she tries to hold her cigarette.

He can't remember laughing as much over so little as he does in her presence. Ines exudes the confidence of someone who doesn't quite care what others think, and for someone like Jakob, who's job is completely dependent on what others think of him, it's a breath of fresh air. "Maybe you could just replace it? If you really needed one. Or would she know her kids?" He remembers when she'd pulled out the Liquid IV babies nonchalantly to take a picture and had thought then and there that she was someone he wanted to get to know. "I dunno, maybe you'd be like she-hulk, no one suspects you're a beast 'till you go green." He gives a wink and snuffs out his cigarette with the heel of his shoe. "Okay well that's just rude," Jakob chuckles, nodding at her. "I can jump. But I kinda just look like Shaggy again," he grins, "you know, all limbs." The din of the party escapes as a member of the waitstaff walks out, presumably for their break. Jakob glances at her, "are you ready to go back?" He doesn't want to keep her too long from a party hosted by her family. If anyone understands familiar expectations in that regard, it's him.

[roseworth]

i went apeshit over that last one. anyway roy & anyone u choose w “i’m scared” pls 🫶

send me a prompt 😙

i chose mia is anyone surprised

--

For the millionth time in his life, Roy wished that Gotham rogues would just stay in Gotham. Whenever they got bored of Batman, they would come to fuck shit up in other cities, and everyone else just had to deal with it.

Today, it was the Riddler. His snarky tone and infuriating way of talking were already pissing Roy off, not to mention the fact that he had locked him in some kind of fucking escape room. 

“Are you a mythology fan, Arsenal?” Riddler asked over a speaker. Roy rolled his eyes and started looking around the room for a way to get out. When Roy didn’t respond, the Riddler continued. “Artemis and Apollo, the moon and the sun, the twins of the hunt. Brother and sister.”

Roy narrowed his eyes and looked up, trying to find some camera to stare into or something. “What do you want?”

“I think you are going to be the one wanting,” Riddler responded. Roy couldn’t wait to punch him in the face. “Because you’ve got a kind of twin yourself, don’t you?”

Roy raised an eyebrow. “A twin,” he repeated, wholly unimpressed.

“A sister in arms, a replica of what you once were,” Riddler explained in his stupid droning tone. 

Mia, Roy thought, his blood running cold. “What the hell do you want with Speedy?”

“Once again, I won’t be the one wanting,” Riddler sing-songed. “Maybe you should keep better track of your clothes.”

A hatch clicked, and a drawer opened with a single comm sitting in it. He took it out and shoved it in his ear. “Speedy?”

“Roy?” Mia said groggily. “What’s going on?”

“Riddler got us,” he explained. “I thought it was just me, but looks like we’re in it together, kid.”

Mia laughed quietly. “Always dragging me into your problems, huh?”

“Guess so,” he smiled. “Where are you?”

“I, uh…” she trailed off. “I don’t know. It’s dark in here.”

“Dark?” 

“As you may recall,” Riddler shouted over the speaker, “Artemis’s temple was burned to the ground back in 356 BC.”

No. 

“Riddle me this, Arsenal,” he said, a grin evident in his voice. “What is not alive, but grows? Doesn’t have lungs, but needs air? Doesn’t have a mouth, but is killed by water?”

“Damnit,” he said under his breath. “Mia? Are you okay?”

“Fuck,” she whispered. “I don’t want to be burned alive.”

“You won’t be,” he promised. “He gave me some riddles, that’s his whole shtick, right? I’ll get you, no problem.”

“‘No problem,’” she repeated in a mocking tone. “I can’t believe I’m getting fridged.”

Roy laughed breathily. “You’re not getting fridged, I promise not to go through any emotional development after you die.”

Mia snickered. “Just do the riddles, asshole.”

Roy turned back to the room. There was a drawer with a small slot, with the label What has a head, a tail, is brown, and has no legs?

Roy rolled his eyes and searched the room for a penny. If all the riddles were like this, he would have Mia out in no time.

He found a penny sitting on the ground, then pressed it through the slot. The drawer popped open with another riddle. He breezed through them, making small talk with Mia all the while.

“How are the Teen Titans?” he asked.

“Fine,” she said. “Cassie started dating that one girl that we think might be Ollie’s.”

He snorted. “Cassie is sorta-half-sister-in-law material, right?”

Mia laughed. Roy worked through a few more riddles, picking up a pair of gloves after the riddle They have no flesh, nor feathers, nor scales, nor bone. Yet they have fingers and thumbs of their own. What are they?

He looked inside the gloves and pulled out a strip of paper.

I make two people out of one. What am I?

He read the riddle a few times. “Hey, Mimi, you good at riddles?”

“No. Also, ‘Mimi’?”

“There’s no better time to try out nicknames than right next to death, Memes.”

“Ugh.”

“I’ve got the riddle ‘I make two people out of one,’ any thoughts?”

Mia thought for a moment. “I’ve got a friend that’s a clone, maybe it’s a cloning device.”

“I don’t think that’s it,” he said. “Besides, Donna’s kind of sort of a clone, and she–” He cut himself off. 

“What?”

“It’s a mirror.”

“And you got that with the power of Donna?”

Roy searched the room for a mirror. He looked at a wall across from him and inspected the mirror. “What can I say? Donna’s smart, I guess just thinking about her makes me smarter.”

“Huh, you must not think about her a lot.”

“Very funny,” he drawled. He couldn’t find anything on or behind the mirror. He frowned, then threw it on the ground.

“What was that?”

“Mirror.”

“And you broke it?”

“Riddle’s behind the glass,” he said, flipping it over and picking up a slip of paper that had fallen out. “You have me today, tomorrow you'll have more. As your time passes, I'm not easy to store. I don't take up space, but I'm only in one place. I am what you saw, but not what you see. What am I?”

“I hate riddles,” Mia replied. “This is stupid.”

“‘I don’t take up space’ probably means it’s a concept.”

“Sounds like a thought,” she said. “You have them today and more tomorrow, and everyone has thoughts. Well, most people have thoughts, I don’t know what you have.”

“Love you too, my darling sister,” Roy said sarcastically. “It’s what you saw, so it’s in the past right? Memories?”

“Ah, yes!” Riddler yelled over the speaker. “Memories! And you’ll have to live with the memories of your sister for–”

“That ones a bit of a stretch,” Roy interrupted. “Not a good riddle if you have to explain it.”

“Roy!” Mia yelled. “Fire!”

“What?”

“Fire!” she repeated. “It’s fuckin– It’s coming closer, I’m gonna–”

“Stay calm, Speedy,” Roy said, instantly shifting into seasoned vigilante mode. 

“Now that we’re properly focused, let’s move on,” Riddler said smugly. “What is it that given one, you'll have either two or none?”

Roy frowned. “A…” he trailed off. He had heard this one before. “A choice?”

A door flew open behind him. “Exactly!” Riddler yelled. “You have a choice: You can stay here and save Speedy, or you can leave now and save yourself! You can’t do both.”

He heard the comm in his ear click. Fuck. “Speedy? Can you still hear me?”

“No outside help,” Riddler cackled. “Now, a choice!”

The choice was pretty clear. He could leave to get help, but he had no guarantee Riddler wouldn’t kill her while he was gone. Even if the man killed him after Mia was safe, it would be better than her getting hurt.

“I choose Speedy,” he said, crossing his arms. 

Riddler said nothing, but the comm in his ear clicked again. 

“...Roy?”

“Right here, kiddo.”

She breathed a sigh of relief. “I thought you left me.”

“Never, I swear.”

She didn’t reply. Roy wished they could go back to 2 minutes ago when she was teasing him instead of the nervous silence she had now.

“Talk to me, kid, I’m still sorting through these riddles,” he said, flipping to the back of the memory riddle and finding a new riddle to work through.

“There’s still a fire,” she said quietly. “It’s slow, but it’s getting closer.”

“You’re gonna be out of there in no time, don’t you worry.”

Mia stayed silent for a while, and Roy kept moving through riddles. They were all softballs from here, like “What has hands, but cannot clap?” then the next riddle inside the clock.

“Roy?” Mia said, her voice raspy and shaking. 

“Yeah?”

“I’m scared.”

“You’re gonna be okay,” he assured her.

“How do you know?”

“Would I ever lie to you?”

“Yes,” she answered. “You lie to me all the time.”

“What? Name one time.”

“The other day you told me Nightwing was raised by a family of monkeys and that’s why he’s so acrobatic,’” Mia ranted.

Roy couldn’t help but laugh. “Okay, fine, that was–”

“And you tried to convince me that the real way Ollie got off the island was by growing gills and swimming away.”

“Come on, those were all–”

“And just last week you told me you were going to visit home, then you didn’t,” she yelled. Roy’s stomach twisted at the way her voice wavered like she was holding back a sob. “And I waited! I-I was waiting all night because I thought you were coming like you said, then you didn’t and I just–” She took a deep breath, then mumbled, “Whatever. Didn’t even care.”

“Mia, I–”

“It’s fine, you were doing something important, or whatever, I get it.”

“I’m sorry, kid,” he said, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment. “I would’ve, I swear, it wasn’t about you.”

“I know,” she said. “Still hurts.”

“I’m sorry,” he said again. “But trust me now, you’re going to be okay, and you can yell at me to my face about it soon.”

“I don’t want to,” she mumbled. “I don’t want to be mad at you about it, I just want you there.”

“Mia…”

“Whatever, man, I’m in a room of fire right now, just– just do what you need to do.”

Roy grimaced and looked at the next riddle, only to find that there was no riddle. Just the sun on a piece of paper.

“Congratulations, dear Apollo, you’ve seen the sun!” Riddler yelled. “But alas, the moon cannot be seen without the sun’s light! Rise, dear moon, and reflect the sun’s shine as your own!”

“...What?”

“Roy,” Mia said. “A door to the roof just opened above me, I’m getting out.”

“Thank god,” he sighed. “Get far away, don’t let him find you again, okay?”

“What? No way, man,” she argued. “You’re still trapped, I’m not just gonna leave you.”

“I can get out myself, don’t worry about me,” he replied, not sure if he even believed himself.

“Don’t lie to me, I’m– wait a minute."

Roy frowned. “What’s going on?”

“I need you to trust me.”

“That’s not very reassuring.”

“Duck.”

“What?”

Seconds later, a wall blew up behind him, and Mia walked through the rubble.

“Explosive arrows!” she exclaimed, holding her bow above her head. “He left my quiver on the roof.”

“Jesus, give a guy some warning, Mimi,” he grunted, dusting himself off.

“I told you to duck.”

“Alright, fine,” he said, then opened his arms. “C’mere, kiddo. I’m just glad to see you safe.”

Mia’s face broke out into a grin as she sprinted straight into his arms, tackling him into a hug, nearly causing him to fall over with the force of it. He beamed and lifted her off her feet as she hugged him tighter. 

“Can we find Riddler and punch his stupid face now?” Mia asked from where her face was smooshed against Roy’s shoulder.

“Absolutely.”

[delicrieux]

—MAKE YOU SAY “OH” EXTRAS: TINDER

extra meaning non-canonical occurrence; can be placed anywhere in the “make you say oh” timeline after couple (cha. 14) and before the final “oh”. 

pairing—corpse husband x f!reader warnings—tinder profiles, tw: men, swearing.  word count—2.6k. format— written. ─── ❥ req by nonnie​:  y/n makes a youtube vid/live stream where she's just swiping through her tinder acc and corpse literally blocks her lmao

author’s note—akldsljfs this was such a funny idea i could not not write it lmao

ultimate masterlist. myso masterlist

You have pulled the biggest brain move by setting up both a facecam and a screen recorder on your phone. All is beautifully displayed and visible during the stream. Your fanbase is particularly intrigued on what exactly are you planning on doing today, seeing as your tweet of “strea” had been a bit vague, if not downright ominous. No emojis. No elaboration. You couldn’t even be bothered to finish the word. Truly, a mystery. Everyone tuned in and are currently waiting with bated breath.

A few of your fans must sense upcoming doom because the overall mood in the chat turns from optimistically intrigued to...evil. It’s an entity all on it’s own now, clawing at you through the screen with various renditions of laughter and devil emojis. A few eggplants thrown in there for good measure, accompanied, naturally, by the scandalous water drops. At first the common consensus is that you’re biting the bullet and going through your camera roll on stream. Definitely an idea worth considering, though you frankly don’t know what lies at the start of the 11k photograph journey, and you are afraid to check in public. Could be a harmless meme, could be a salacious pic you had saved of an OF star. It’s really a gamble. Either way, you would definitely get banned. You might still get banned. Why do you insist on doing shit like this?

Because it’s funny. Because you’re kinda stupid. Because it’s just so absolutely laughably easy to do.

A smile quirks your lips, and while it is not explicitly smug, the look in your eyes sure is, “Greetings,” You utter lowly, dimming the lights--the budget for this stream! Ugh, you went all out, “my children.”

mother i crave violence

sensing evil energy rn!!

i do not claim the energy in this video for myself or anyone else watching this 💖💖

^with peace and love shut the fuck up

“I know y’all lowkey hoes-” Upon your words the chat splits into two: one side eagerly agrees (even shares a few OF accounts! How helpful, supporting small businesses!), whilst the other feverishly insists on innocence. You make a face stuck somewhere between offended and bewildered, “Now c'mon now-I know you. I know you all. We’re the same, don’t-what was that?”

You try to scroll back to the comment but it’s loss in the sea of incoming messages, “I swear to God I just saw-”

Corpse_Husband: i love late night streams it’s not like i have anything better to do.

“COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORPSE!!!!” 

rip headphone users

i cant feel my face when im with you by the weeknd but instead of face its my fucking ears

yall think full vol on pc is better?my parents woke up 😭😭😭😭

To think he’s spending his last waking moments for today with watching you (he probably still would have anyway, because you do not posses an ounce of shame or self-control and pester him relentlessly)! It makes your heart sing, and suddenly, a traitorous, fun hating idea barges it’s way through the crowd of incoherent buzzing and states: don’t do this. For some reason it also has the voice of Rae. As if that would work in guilt-tripping you- Rae never succeed, and her fictitious rendition in mind won’t fare much better either.

Still, you thought about it. That must count for something. Corpse will understand, won’t he? Why don’t you want to upset it in the first place? Men look so funny when they lose their shit, like hello, don’t you have anything better to do? But the image of Corpse just sitting there, hurt, distraught, leaving you on seen because he’s in his sad boy hours leaves a sour taste in your mouth. 

queen rly went from  🥺😊 to 😕 u ok bbgirl?

Corpse_Husband: no pouts cutie

akjdjoeijdfse cUTIE??? deadass boutta r.i.p.

Well that succeeded in eliminating everything from mind, doubts included. If this was an anime, the scenery would shift into something roseate, with flowers and bubbles and sparkles all around you along with a halo or two. Alas, not an anime, rather reality. The led-lights, however, seemingly possessing a will of their own, slowly turn from deep violet to pink. You smile brightly, like the absolute dumbass you are, and you are met with a ray of heart and blushing emojis. You are just so cute, a real cutie! Still in your disguise adorable state, you swipe your finger on your phone screen, the grin never leaving your lips.

There, among the plethora of apps, nestled sits a red square with a white fire plastered on it. The delicate calligraphy on the bottom reads: TINDER.

The mood changes once again- you’re giving the roaches emotional instability by how quickly everything flips over- and the chat spams eggplants vigorously; some, of course, bravely fight against the thirst.

nooooooo i thought y/n is gonna stream in a god honoring way!!!

^pack it up girl defined

“So, Charlie and I-” You note a few awfully curious comments and squint, “-yes, we talk a lot. Charlie is a really good friend of mine. We’re best friends. Brothers. Sisters. Cousins. The whole fucking family tree-no, that sounds weird. Delete. Anyway, Charlie, being the absolute fucker he is, said, hey, you know what would be funny? And I was like, nooo, what would be funny, Charlie? And he says to me, he says, says, making fun of men on Tinder. And if y’all need any more proof that Charlie and I are platonic soulmates, then dunno, my children, my roaches, I dunno-I dunno what more to give you.”

You can’t be bothered reading the comments, there’s too damn many. You also need to save your reading comprehension for the actual bios. It has a time limit, that darn thing. 

“Okay, so I made a profile earlier, but I hadn’t swiped on anyone yet-” Despite the fact, Tinder helpfully informs you that already 99+ people have swiped right on you, “So, this is me,” You show the pictures you have of yourself, and damn, not to be a conceited narcissist, but you look really good. Like if you saw yourself on Tinder, you’d super like instantly. “Uhm, so, my bio-my bio says: let’s sauce in the tub together, ya dig? splishy splashy, giggle giggle.” 

i cant believe we are witnessing y/n trying to form a coherent sentence live 

shes trying give her time

ya dig??? y not capeesh

what scene from the godfather is this lol?

“My anthem, is,” You laugh, covering your lips with your hand, “Corpsie, this is form you-” Proudly, you show that indeed, Corpse’s E-GIRLS ARE RUINING MY FUCKING LIFE is listed as your anthem on Spotify, “Hehe.” Yes, you say that aloud.

Corpse_Husband: you’re killing me Corpse_Husband: thanks baby Corpse_Husband: now delete tinder ❤︎

You ignore his last quip, deciding it’s finally time to get this show on the road, “Right, let’s do this shit. I’m not actually going to swipe on any guys that look, uh, decent? Yuck, can’t believe I just said that, uhm, because I-because I feel like some actually deserve a chance with someone? I don’t wanna get anyone’s hopes up, as I am currently in a long distance relationship with Chrollo. So I’m just gonna swipe on, like, frat boy assholes. Because I don’t care if I hurt their feelings. Quite frankly I don’t think they possess them in the first place.”

The chat voices their agreements. With the ground rules set, you, giddy, click on the first profile.

Does Tinder know what you’re doing, your plan? The FBI agent watching you through your phone must be working overtime, bless his heart. They must, because the the first guy to meet you is named Jason, and there he is, blond hair and blue eyes, holding up a fish the size of his torso. Marginally adequate in looks, pretty good muscles. A solid 7 bordering on 8. He’s the same age as you, 15 miles away, and he studies at some college you don’t care enough to look up. Bio reads:

I like to drive fast. Fishing is my passion, but if you can’t catch me by the ocean, you’ll catch me catching waves, bro! Love a good gym date. You do squats, and I’ll keep a close eye to make sure you’re doing it correctly ;) You probably saw me at a party. Leader of the The Phi Kappa Psi. I’m a Gemini, if that matters lol.

You, of course, read it aloud, dramatically; provide some constructive criticism-he seems nice, but he’s a Gemini, so naturally, you can’t trust him at all! Also, that gym date session leaves little to be desired. With your rant done, you swipe right, and shocker! (not), it’s an instant match.

“Okie, I still wanna swipe of some profiles, so I’ll see what he’ll text later-” For a second you wonder the legalities of this stream, but you’re having too much fun to think of it further, “guys, I won't get sued, right?”

NOW she considers it

well....

if you do, we’ll kickstart your lawyer dw <3

Onto the next profile. Kevin, 25, is seen fixing his car- or, you assume he’s mid-fixing it, you don’t really know why else he’d hold a wrench and be covered in oil. He’s shirtless, and the caveman part of your brain echoes something closely resembling AWOOOGA!, but...but!...blonde hair, blue eyes. You pout again, “I don’t...I don’t really like blond boys, ya know? With the blue eyes and all, it’s just not my thing, uhm, unless it’s like-like...Armin from Attack on Titan. Else I don’t care.”

Onto the bio:

You have to treat a car like you treat a woman: go on long rides, take the lead, but most importantly, keep her oiled up 😜 

“What the fuck did I just read?”

The chat is equally confused. You swipe right anyway- another match. Too easy.

The stream continues without incident for a solid thirty minutes- all of your matches, expect a few that genuinely looked like normal dudes that really couldn’t write a decent bio to save their lives, had been blond hair blue eyed gym rats with ranging forms of misogyny. Some opened with asking for nudes out right, some asked about your day first before asking for nudes. You prefer the former. Straight to the point! You admire the gall. 

But then, down the forty-five minute mark a profile popped up that made you still by your phone, your smile dying as your eyes bulged. Dear God. Lord in heaven. Who is this demonspiit lookalike and why is he so fucking hot? The neck tats, the skateboard, the clothes- holy shit, you gotta close your mouth before some drool dribbles out.

No bio, just his name, Tyler, and that he’s 23.

“He boutta be 23 in me.” You mutter, swiping right with lightning speed.

WHAT DID SHE SAYYYYY?????????

tyler is y/ns karma for relentlessly mocking that one guy that had a whole ass list on what his “female��� partner should be

^he deserved it and also tyler seems like a typical fuckboi y/n grow a braincell

look at mom 🥺 her eyes are sparkling

It wasn’t a match right away. You somehow expected as much, but it still upset you. Simp behavior, pathetic. The stream continued bravely, and when Tyler messaged you a simple “yo” you totally didn’t sequel. You didn’t manage to text him back on stream: texting all those guys that you didn’t really find all that attractive was easy, but this...You’re a sucker for a man who radiates red flag energy. His whole profile is a red flag. He might just be a red flag himself.

What can you do? Suddenly becoming color blind is not easy. Once the stream ends, you unmatch with everyone expect Tyler. He you chat with for a bit, but a sudden craving for different company makes you abandon him, too. You don’t feel too heartbroken for him- you’re certain there’s already too many girls in his dms. You wish them luck.

Happily, you delete Tinder. You go to Twitter, notice you’re trending again- look at you go! Queen shit- and as you compose a thank you tweet, something strange happens. You go to text Corpse, but when you click on his profile you grow cold.

YOU’RE BLOCKED. You can’t follow or see @/Corpse_Husband ‘s Tweets. 

...Pardon? You hop onto Instragram and-also blocked. Seriously? And you thought you’re one petty bitch. Corpse is seriously prissy about everything. Damn, if he didn’t like your stream, he could’ve just said so. Didn’t need to, like, block you from his internet existence. So not cool.

You try texting him but no text go through. Well how will you let him know you deleted Tinder just like he asked? You relieve your frustrations by punching your pillow a few times. Later, you apologize to her, you didn’t mean to hurt her, it’s not her, it’s you. Fuck, 5 minutes of exile and you’re already loosing your mind.

“Raeeeeeeeeeeee!” You whine loudly. It’s roughly 2am now, but you don’t care. You’re too heartbroken to care. There’s a thump from her room, but nothing else, “Raeeeeeeeee!!!” You wail, wallowing in self-pity on your bed. You hear a very loud, very annoyed sigh from her room, followed by angry marching. Your door is abruptly thrown open, and in the dim, colorful light you see her scowl.

“What?” She grits.

“Can you please tell Corpse to unblock me from everything?”

“What did you do now?”

“I made fun of men on Tinder.”

She pauses, “...That doesn’t sound so bad.” She surmises, voice laced with suspicion, “What else?”

“...There was one really hot guy that I kinda sorta talked to after--”

“Y/n.”

“-But I totally deleted Tinder and honestly he was pretty boring, so, like, uhm, please?”

She sighs, the servery of which implies she is holding the weight of the world on her shoulders, and instantly you know that you won. She taps away at her phone, “You owe me one.” She states, and before you can reply, she exits your room and slams the door behind her.

Grinning, you text his phone again. The message goes through, oh gosh, you’re so relieved you feel like crying. This has been, officially, the worst five minutes of your life.

You Y DID U BLOCK ME LOSER!!! MAJOR LOSER ALERT!! I DELETED EVERYTHING IT WAS A JOKE r u still mad at me? y u always mad at me i never do anything:(

my husband You’re my baby, how do you think I’ll react when I see you publicly simping for some asshole on Tinder?

Oh no, he used the words, he delivered the killing blow. You’re finished. Your heart can’t take such a workout. 

Not that you would ever admit it to him, though!

You hehe ur jellyyyy u always dis jealous hehe?

my husband Not jealous.

Yeah, you might not be the brightest tool in the shed, but even you know that’s a lie. You send him an array of kissy emojis that he doesn’t have the decency to reply to. Then, completely unprompted and dead serious, you send him a simple voice memo, saying: “You really have nothing to worry about, you know? You’re my favorite, Corpsie.”

He responds via text, reiterating that he’s not fucking jealous and that he just doesn’t like when you show such outward interest in anyone but it’s not like he cares or anything. It’s just really, like, weeeeird to see his baby simping for another man like that totally ruins the whole dynamic!!! It was only natural that he should block you on every social media platform, including his personal number (which, like, was completely necessary! Doesn’t matter that his viewers can’t see it, it’s gotta be super believable!), and inform his followers of that, because it’s all a joke, like, for the dynamic, that Youtube grind, you know? Ya dig? No personal feelings were involved at all. He totally wasn’t upset that you found someone else cute, no way!

my husband I’m not jealous. Lol.

You ik u repeated tht like 50 times  u trynna convince me or??? lmao

my husband No comment. ...You don’t actually talk to anyone else like we’re talking, right?

You no one else calls me their baby if thts wat ur wondering at least not to my knowledge lol im all urs

my husband That makes me very happy to hear:)

Yeah, it makes you very happy, too.

hope you liked it!! xx

[artistgoudeau]

Wish Fulfillment “Do-Over” NSFW!!! NOT FOR MINORS!!!

So this is my idea for a long fiction I want to do that’s mostly my own wish fulfillment. What do you guys think? I’ve already started writing but it’s in the drafts stage.

Everyone x fem y/n (platonic)

Erwin x Reader x Levi x Miche x Hange (romantic)

Black/brown skinned (4c hair)

Chubby/curvy y/n (in the beginning)

Big booty y/n (just cause)

Huge Blerd (big AOT fan but has other fandoms)

Is a well of random knowledge thanks to YouTube

Has attended college

Has a smart mouth/ snarky personality

Smoke weed every day!

Y/n is an average millennial with a big heart and a hopeful outlook on life despite dealing with depression and anxiety herself. She is average in body proportions (for American women) but has a curvy body. As the story progresses, Y/n will have changes in her body that’s one would expect from going from an average American diet, to nearly starving and exercising to keep up with actual soldiers. Y/n genuinely believes in love and goodness but will be tested through this harsh reality of AOT.

curses, wears revealing/tight clothes (for the era), depressed, has generalized anxiety, confident and self loving, but makes self deprecating/inappropriate jokes, loves colors, loves animals, loves guitar & piano (avg player), isn’t a singer but loves to sing, isn’t a dancer but loves to dance, can cook (cause duh),

Main goal: change the ending of the series by helping everyone survive and freeing the founding Titan and establishing world peace

Y/n loves/likes most of the characters and is working to help them survive and find happiness

Not intentionally seducing any character, but most/all characters ending up adoring y/n

I plan on keeping y/n on the same path of love and peace throughout the story but they will absolutely have changed characteristics

Start- optimistic but not naive/not a leader/not confident in physical ability to kill to survive/kind/creative/smart mouth/aave/hides emotions (poorly)/wears her heart on her sleeve/crybaby

End- still optimistic/smart mouthed/kind/creative/becomes a leader/becomes nearly fearless/still crybaby/aave

“Last time I checked I was grown”

“And boom goes the dynamite”

“Kiss the fattest part of my ass!”

“Ni -hnghmmm- boy…”

“You have five seconds to get the fuck out of my way...4”

“All dogs are puppies”

“But is that a LAW or more of a guideline?”

“I’m not sure about murder, but I will stab you in the eyes.”

“What the FUCK did you just call me?”

Levi: “hey fatass.” Y/n: “hey shortass.”

“I don't know what I can do to get you to trust me, but I swear, the only thing I want is to see humanity do more than just survive. I want you all to truly live.”

“This isn’t life. This is ugly and cruel. And the worst part is that it doesn’t HAVE to be. The world is cruel because PEOPLE made it that way. Life could be heaven on earth if we all decided to change.”

“I’m not a killer. Hell, compared to everyone here, I’ve lived like royalty. But that doesn’t mean I haven’t felt pain, or loss. It doesn’t mean I don’t have a heart.”

“My family,…my friends,...everything gone.”

“*sob* no one knows where I am! *sob* I can’t even tell anyone I’m okay.”

“FUCK YOU! I AM ALONE! Everything and everything I have ever known is completely out of my reach! I have never been more alone in my life! I have nothing! *sob* so fuck you…”

“Why me? It could’ve been anyone! Someone useful! I’m just a regular ass person! Why ME?!”

“Please tell me that y’all use seasoning in your food.”

“It’s your world, I’m just living in it.”

“Deez nuts.”

“That’s what she said.”

“Lay one fucking finger on me and you will lose your entire fucking hand.”

“Does this look like a fucking petting zoo?!”

“You do the right thing even when it’s hard. That’s how I know you’re a good person.”

“Just another day in the survey corps! Hehehehe!”

Makes constant references to modern era jokes/memes and laughs at them to herself.

“Stupid is as stupid does.”

Sees Titan out of nowhere: “Wha-Oh Fuck! Shit! BITCH!!!!”

“My ancestors were taken from their homelands and made into slaves in a foreign land. They lost their freedom, cultures, families, everything. 400+ years later I break bread w/ the descendants of those slave owners and I do not hold resentment towards them. Don’t get me wrong, there are times where I want vengeance and blood. But I’m 400+ years, the descendants of those slaves proved over and over again that we are not the animals they thought us to be. And it’s not perfect by any means. Because of the color of my skin, I could be killed, discriminated against and brutalized. But my people persevered. We came together and fought to be free. We created a culture unique to us that the entire world sees. And we still fight, until a day comes where the color of someone’s skin, their sex, gender, size shape, etc. are not ever used against them again. And I still believe that world is achievable.”

[sleepysnk]

not a very long chapter today, but next chapter will be VERY IMPORTANT. keep watch for it! <3

Team Player: Chapter Five

Pairings: Eren Jaeger x Fem!Reader

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1.9k

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter | Masterlist

Eren awoke to the aching of his ankle. His green eyes fluttered open as he reached for his phone on his nightstand, the screen lighting up and showing the time that said 8:55 A.M.  It felt too early to be awake, but his ankle was bothering him too much. 

He arose from his bed and looked over at Armin's bed. He was already gone and out to class. Eren stood up and winced as his ankle throbbed in pain. 

Unfortunately for him, he was now injured way worse than he was before. His muscle was now more irritated and the nurse told him that he needed to skip the next game or two to make sure it fully healed. Eren was irritated with that. He wanted to get back on the field as quickly as he could, but he knew damn well Coach Smith wouldn't let him. Judging on how pissed off he looked on Saturday, Eren was certain there was no way he could smoothly talk to him. 

Eren grabbed the side of his bed, reaching for the small bottle of pills that was prescribed for the pain. He had to take more now since he wasn't doing that well. The nurse gave him so many instructions on how to take care of his ankle, it all bombarded him at once. 

Grabbing the plastic water bottle, Eren put the meds in his mouth and swallowed, feeling the pills go down his throat. 

He quickly changed into a sweater and black sweatpants, making sure to wear the patch the nurse gave him. He threw on slides and grabbed his backpack, exiting his dorm to the main campus. 

As he entered the main doors, he felt eyes suddenly boring holes into his head. Eren hung his head low as he stared at his phone, trying to get some attention off of him. Many people were pissed at what happened during the game, people clowned him on Twitter, giving him nicknames or posting meme videos to his fail. It was honestly kind of embarrassing for him. Many sports analysts talked about it, and Eren knew that wasn't good. 

Eren's eyes averted upward as he saw Jean walking with Marco. 

"Hey Jean," Eren said and approached him. 

Jean stood there and clenched his jaw. "What do you want dude? You here to tell me how shitty of a lineman I am?" he asked and crossed his arms. "Look dude.. no offense but stay out of my way." he added and pushed past Eren. 

Eren stood there watching Jean walk off. He's never seen him act that way before, Jean usually kept his words to himself sometimes, but it kind of made Eren feel shitty. 

"You suck!" a random student yelled and looked at Eren. "Selfish as fuck.." he added and kept walking. 

Eren didn't even do anything. He just walked away from the guy near him. His mind was clouded with so many thoughts, he really was the laughing stock of Trost. Everyone just stared at him as he walked in the hall to his class, what was he going to do? He couldn't exactly clear his name or whatever, the footage was all online. 

He silently prayed things would go well at practice. 

-

The day seemed to pass by slowly for Eren. 

He barely did anything in most of his classes and he didn't bother to pay attention. 

What bothered him the most was that most of his teammates avoided him, whenever Eren tried to say hello they all ignored him, or they told him to go away. The team’s loss was not his intention, he wanted to show everyone his talent out on the field as well as impressing the scout that was there and to make others proud.  

Going on social media was the worst. People made memes about his fail, and many people were disappointed in what happened. They looked like idiots during that game, the Titans were their rivals too, which also meant that the school itself looked absolutely shitty. 

Eren could care less what was happening in his physics class, the teacher just blabbed on and on about velocity and other crap. None of it seemed to interest Eren as he was just too lost in his thoughts about the game. 

"You're all dismissed!" the professor called and looked around the room. 

Eren stood up and slung his backpack over his shoulder, he walked slowly down the hall as his ankle was bothering him still. What was he going to do? 

The day had already ended and Eren decided to make his way to practice, he knew he couldn't exactly play or catch any balls, but maybe he could just observe. 

He opened the door to the locker room and saw many of his teammates staring or exchanging looks with one another, he felt awkward walking in there. This hasn't exactly happened to him before either. 

"What are you doing here?" Reiner asked, crossing his arms. "You're hurt. Coach doesn't want you here," he added. 

Eren looked at the blonde who seemed to be in a bad mood. "I-I just… wanted to observe," he replied and rubbed the back of his neck. 

"Eren." his head turned to see Coach Smith standing there with his arms crossed. "Come into my office… we need to have a chat," he said and waved him over. 

Eren gulped and made his way into the office, his pulse began to race rapidly. He knew it probably wasn't good. 

"Have a seat," Coach Smith said and plopped down at his desk. 

Eren put his backpack down on the ground and looked at his Coach, his icy hues burning holes into his head. 

"U-Um… what do you want to speak about?" Eren asked, giving a weak smile. 

Coach Smith leaned back and sighed. "It's about what happened on Saturday-" 

"I'm sorry. That was totally my fault, I thought Jean was going to get-" he was cut off. 

"I didn't finish Eren," he said sternly and crossed his arms. "Eren what happened on Saturday was absolutely unacceptable and unsportsmanlike. Jean is your teammate! I gave Reiner that call to throw to him, not you. Your behavior lately has been very inappropriate.”

Eren looked down and bit his lip. "B-But! I thought he was going to get tackled! If I-"

"Enough. There is no excuse for your actions Eren, not only that, but you were hurt too. I told you three times that if you were hurt, to step off the field. That's not okay at all Eren. Look at you now! Your ankle is now even worse than before. Your actions are extremely selfish," he stated. 

Eren fell silent as his words played into his head. 

"Until you can play like a team player, leave." Coach Smith said. 

Eren looked up with wide eyes. "What? What do you mean leave?!" he asked with concern in his voice. 

"Until you can get your act together, you're benched and off the team. There's not buts anymore Eren, I've let your behavior slide numerous times. Your own teammates have come to me about this as well, so until you can gain some proper teamwork skills you're benched," he replied. "Don't bother coming to practice or showing up to games or I will suspend you," he added. 

Eren leaned back in his chair. "You can't do this coach please! I need this season!" he pleaded and looked at him with pleading eyes. 

Coach Smith stood up. "Nobody wants a player who can't think for anyone else, especially not the Chiefs," he said. "Now please… leave. Don't show up for the rest of the week," he added and went towards the door. 

Eren grabbed his backpack and exited the office, many eyes watched as he exited the locker room. Frustration, anger, and even sadness rushed through him all at once. How could his own Coach do that to him!? Coach Smith has believed in Eren from the day he entered Trost. Why the sudden change? 

He went outside and breathed in the cool air, the leaves fell from the trees as it was now fall. The leaves crunched under his feet as he walked back to his residence hall, he just wanted to lay in bed and sleep the rest of the day. 

He eventually got back and opened the door, Armin sat on the opposite side of the room with his laptop open. 

"Eren? You're back early. Short practice today?" he asked and nodded. 

Eren threw his backpack onto the floor which made a loud thump come from it. "No.." he replied and sat on his bed. "It's way worse than that," he added. 

Armin furrowed his brows. "What happened?" he asked. 

Eren threw his phone onto his nightstand. "I got benched for what happened at the rival game, so don't expect me to be playing. I can't go to practice either," he replied and leaned against the wall. 

The blondes eyes went wide as saucers hearing the news. "What? That's never happened to you before…" he said and looked down. 

"Yeah.. I guess the other players have talked about it too," Eren said and adjusted his man bun. "Which is absolute bullshit to me," he added and shrugged. 

Armin stayed silent as he listened to Eren rant, he knew how badly the situation was. Being injured didn’t exactly help anyone, being benched was the best course of action. Seeing the way he played on Saturday was kind of embarrassing in a way, Eren barely let anybody have the ball. 

"What am I going to do? My teamwork skills are fine!" Eren complained, staring up at the ceiling. 

Armin laughed a bit. "You're going to have to work on it yourself. Teamwork takes a lot of self work, it's up to you to fix it." he replied. "I wish I could help but to be honest, I suck at that kind of stuff." he added. 

Eren felt a small smile draw onto his lips. "It's okay Armin… I guess I have to fix all of this on my own," he said. 

"So you're benched for the next game?" Armin asked and nodded a bit. 

Eren sighed. "Yup… and who knows how long either. Coach told me to not show until I get my act together," he replied, putting his arms behind his head. "Which sounds stupid to me because I'm fine the way I am," he added and shrugged his shoulders. 

Armin closed his laptop and placed it next to him. "Maybe you have to accept his words Eren.. he could be just trying to help you," he said, looking over at him. "Sometimes you have to face the reality of it," he added. 

Eren sat up and looked towards his roommate. "No.. there's nothing wrong with me Armin. If he was trying to help he wouldn't have benched me," he replied. "I'll be fine.. just don't worry about it," he said and stood up limping to get his medication. 

Armin stayed silent and just watched as Eren took his medication. Was Eren right about everything? Maybe his skills were fine and everyone was just being dramatic, or maybe Coach Smith was right. Maybe Eren needed the work, that was something Armin wasn't sure of, but judging off the way Eren played on Saturday… he was convinced Eren did have issues on the field. 

One thing was for certain, something was up with Eren.

tagging: @ererokii @eremiie @callmepromise @moomii-hime @katsuhera @flam3bird @kc-braun @backstagepaige @thicmitten @daughter-of-the-stars11 @just-a-little-sad @chayauwu @sof-yeager @basket-flower-chick @lunamoonawatcher

[arminiloveyou]

Hi love! I wanted to ask for an AOT or JJK (romantic) matchup if that's alright (you can totally ignore this lmao)

Well, I like art, more specifically older art, I love classical music and I would love to be able to play the violin some day. I enjoy reading, and also do a little bit of digital art once in a while. I'm afraid this might sound conceited, but I really enjoy seeking knowledge and I'm naturally a very curious person. So, learning about philosophies on life of prominent people from the past and looking into their reasons for believing in them is very interesting to me. Also, I really really love vines and facebook memes lmao. Weird change of pace, but yeah.

As for my wants and/or needs, I'd just like to get my degree, find a smart guy whom I can cherish and just live life because I haven't had the chance to do that yet, to be honest.

Anyway, here's a picrew of me :)

Thank you so much for this :)

I hope you have a wonderful day/night <3

hi lovely!! omg learning violin was so much fun for me i really hope you get to enjoy it someday!!!!! n it’s not conceited :) hope you enjoy!!

for jujutsu kaisen i match you with…

ITADORI YUUJI

i know this one may not make the most sense at first but… one - the memes n two - i think yuuji’s a lot smarter than people give him credit for. so, yes, while the pair of you would laugh n joke a lotttt he would be soooo down to listen to you about philosophy. via his time as a sorcerer he’s reflected a lot on his own philosophy so hearing about other ones would feed his wonders even more n help him to learn n grow. n he wouldn’t just simply listen - if he disagrees with something he’ll voice his distain respectfully but overall he’s going to add to the discussion. “yknow y/n, i always learn so much from you… i’m thankful to you, hopefully with time i can teach you things too :)”

for attack on titan i match you with…

ARMIN ARLERT

this sweet boy would fuckin adoreeee you!! he’d be so encouraging n helpful with you getting your degree. you would obviously be stunning to him but your intelligence n curiosity is really what catches his heart. endless conversations spanning a plethora of topics, if you thought you had learned something on your own he will soon expand your conceptualization n perspective on these topics even more!!! he would be soooo giddy to share his own findings with you. the pair of you would fall down various rabbit holes together for weeks on end as niche topics n it would feel so fruitful n rewarding. i love y’all…. “y/n, uhm i know you’ve not been sleeping much lately cause of your studies n i know sometimes you feel left out on your personal studies n just lookin into things that interest you outside of school so…. i thought maybe i could read to you as you go ready for me n before you go to sleep? i know it’s silly if it’s stupid you could tell me… i could read over facetime or even… i-in person if you’d like? i could cuddle you n play with your ha-hair too… if you’d like….”

[round1addict01]

My experience on Apex Legends Mains:

This is just my experience, I can't speak for everyone since people have different experiences and opinions towards certain mains. This is for laughs and fun. Nothing serious and just stupid thoughts. Will go by alphabetical order!

Bangalore:

Really aggressive and quick to run in. Pretty good aim and for some reason the first one to be shot at. I hear her voice saying she's been hit at multiple times before anyone else. Sometimes can't wait for the team to catch up and end up being downed fairly quickly. Uses smokes for the rez but they do it at the wrong place. Forget that they are in the open when rezzing. Pretty slippery to kill due to their passive. Uses their Ultimate anywhere... even when the enemy team can easily go indoors... Overall, they're pretty solid teammates.

Bloodhound:

These feral people I swear to god-. A wild card when teamed up with. Unpredictable and most of the time exceed expectations. Will use Beast of the Hunt when the fight starts but the fight lasts 20s. *HEAVY BREATHING*. Uses scan on places that are empty just in case but then alerts people nearby. Wants to land in densely populated areas. I enjoy their company and they're pretty good at what they work with.

Caustic:

The one teammate who will block entrances with their gas traps. Hell breaks loose when there's 2 in a fight. Teammates are annoyed at them when in an enclosed space. Second most often to rage quit. Will stick traps onto the trident as the one driving will have to cross their fingers that no one shoots them. Will miss their ultimate, no where close to the enemies. Satisfying to play as and a piece of shit to play against. Ironically the most serious legend has the most hilarious moments.

Crypto:

This bad boy... is covered in traps or punched by teammates to a new location for laughs. Underrated. Super helpful but no one notices him. Teammates flock around him and t-bag until he gets back. Will most likely be around Mirage mains for the banter. Will hide behind a rock instead of being inside a building. Hearing the "wrrrrr" of his drone induces anxiety. They know this and try to mess with you. Shooting the drone and failing always gives them the ">:3". Please give these mains the attention they deserve.

Gibraltar:

I love them. They can slam my back and I'd thank them. That being said... they need to be more aware of their surroundings. They have really awful timing when it comes to rezzing. Sometimes forget that his shield is not as invincible and can be passed through. Dies while rezzing. The most protective and supportive teammate. Also really friendly. Praise them because they will die for you. *small smooch to the cheek for gibby mains*

Horizon:

"We can all use a pick me up" heard 99.999% of the match. Love to be on the high ground. Really pleasant to listen to her voice. Seen most often in teams now. Experimenting new strategies. People are still getting used to her so not much to say at the moment. Sweet people with the will to help teammates.

Lifeline:

Tries their best to be helpful but their kit is used poorly. Uses the shield from D.O.C. to fight instead of finding cover to help rez. Speaking of rez, the one being rezzed will be downed again and again until the enemy finally puts down their misery. Will lose the fight when the rez isn't finished and the person gets killed. Most likely to get pissed when another teammate rezzes downed players. Healing during a fight will result in being found and getting blasted with bullets. Will complain when they don't get the loot. Asks for the loot you have so they can later die with it.

Loba:

Queen of getting away. Bracelet is loud enough to attract enemies and they're not aware of this sometimes. Once the black market open you gotta look all areas just in case an enemy team sees or hears the outline. Will open black market 90% of the match no matter where they are. Never deactivates their black market. I have never ever seen it happen. Revenant and Bangalore mains will most likely be teamed up with her. Really helpful teammates and generous when it comes to loot.

Mirage:

These people absolutely adore his humor and banter with everyone. Will use the riding skydive emote the most. Bamboozles actually trick you and you realize how dumb you can be. Makes people waste their bullets and revel in this fact. Rezzing is very nice.... until you hear footsteps then it's extreme anxiety. Has meme potential in anything. Will try to use their ultimate to escape but will eventually be shot at. Half of the fakes run into walls or objects which will have the enemy team look directly at the real one. Goofy and fun to be around but anxiety goes straight up when they're trying to rez.

Octane:

Speedy bois. Hella hard to hit and never stop running. Try their hardest to get teammate banners. Cheer on these devil babies, they do so much. Slurps and throw up loot all in one go. *90's racing music in the background*. Unfortunately abandons their team behind when 1 person is downed. Can't stay indoors for long and keeps moving destinations. Cannot drive the titan for their life and crash land near edges of maps. Makes me grip the mouse and keyboard when they're driving.

Pathfinder:

Will use their grappling hook and either fly over their initial stop or be stuck under the building. I'm the one stuck under the buildings. Hella good at snipers and aerial shots. Is that one main who'd swing into action all cool but will crash face first into a building. Zip lines to fights and gets downed first. Gets impatient when groups don't show up and quit. 2nd most salty people in voice chat. Pretty good for rezzing and retreats. It's over when they have high ground.

Rampart:

Ballistic players who don't know how to chill. Gets the most attention with Shiela but also has their shields at all angles when a fight happens. Prepared for a gun fight at all times. Pair up with trap mains and create so much chaos. Will likely get pissed if teammates don't stay behind shield and get downed. Also underrated af. Shield get left all over the map and turns the fight around if the enemy uses it. Honestly need more Rampart in my life.

Revenant:

Guilty of playing him for his voice. I'm calling myself out here but I'll be damned if I don't drag the rest of the fandom down with me. Will keep climbing up to impossible heights until they get in the perfect spot. Crawly bois, sneaky af. Will forget to use their totem before a fight. This also is the case with their tactical. Throws themselves in the most populated areas as jump master. Pings loot for teammates. Ironic that the character is awful to other people but the mains are really nice people. Love to annoy Lobas and piss off everyone else if their teammates are trash.

Wattson:

Do not be fooled by their cute personalities and awesome skins. They are the most devilish mains. Will do the 90's anime laugh in your face as you get electrocuted. Anger them and the last thing you'll see is a finisher. Will put their Tesla in an open field and get it destroyed in seconds. FENCES EVERYWHERE. You'll try to protect them until you see that they've already won a 1v2-3 fight. Will kill in cold blood if you destroy a fence. Disposes your body by finishing you. Actually scary. The personification of ":)".

Wraith:

2 opposite spectrums. Either a noob or a 1000+ veteran. 1000+ veterans think they are privileged to own the best loot. Will voice chat just to complain and diss on your playstyle. Barely a team player and go off on their own just to die and get angry that "you're trash at the game". Very rarely will be cooperative to win a game. Noobs will have no clue and will follow you around like a lost child. T-bag moments. Will have you be the initiator of everything because the other teammate will just follow along too. Average Wraith players are the most chill players and don't say much but do a lot with their actions.

If I fucked up anyone's expectations then I'm sorry. This list is pretty stupid but if anyone else related to this or has anything else to add then put it in tags or messages!

Thanks for reading my opinions and please stay hydrated, unclench your jaw, don't send hate comments, and get some rest!

[allbeendonebefore]

atlas cronus cyclopes helios hermes poseidon titans

Atlas- Favourite myth? 

quatsch called me out and said i like the myth of theseus the best and she's right and i'm sort of but not really ashamed. Every iteration and every retelling of theseus just makes me laugh. I love how stupid he is. I love how the story was used to forcibly insert Athens into the mythological histories of older and more important poleis. I love how the theseus myth was somehow used as propaganda during the persian/peloponnesian wars (I need to re-investigate this) where the city state of athens said "you should take us seriously because of this absolute moron hero"

(i fall short of calling him a himbo, but I can see the argument being made for it if you subscribe to the versions where 1. he was Asked to leave Ariadne on that island and 2. remember that time his wife said straight faced that his son made advances towards her and his first reaction was welp better go kill my son"_ 3. i dont have any explanation for the kidnappings beyond a. they were completely misinformed on helen's age and panicked and b. with persephone and hippolyta i guess they just wanted wives that could destroy them so)

Cronus- Favourite food? 

I said curry last time so maybe i should say something different this time... i did mention i love bread and likewise because of its versatility. I enjoy making bread as much as i do eating it (and i did prior to covid also). Some of my favourite breads to make include naan, rye, and black pepper cheese bread. My favourite bread to eat is sourdough (which I don't have a starter for so I haven't made it yet)

Cyclopes- What’s your favourite joke? 

Another one hmm, let me think.

the one that annoys quatsch the most is the one about the greek guy who ripped his trousers: Euripides, Eumenides! :^)

Helios- Night or day person? 

hard question. I think i am actually a morning person in that I do like being up with the sun but only if I am alone and have nowhere else to be and I'm not being told what to do xD so like once my night classes ended and I could set my alarm earlier I noticed an improvement in my mood - but when I'm at home with the fam it's pointless to be up before my parents who wake up before me no matter what so I can't enjoy those quiet early morning hours unless I yeet myself straight out of the house which I don't like doing.

Traditionally my best creative time was 7pm ish (or so i noticed in high school and undergrad) so I had always thought of myself as a night person but I don't actually like staying up super late and I only like to sleep in once in a while.

Hermes- Do you like travelling? Where is one place you want to travel to? 

tbh travelling stresses me out a lot and I need to be with a person who knows what they're doing. But when the actual travelling part is over and we're just out wandering the hills in northern england or scotland or wherever enjoying nature or on the train watching the countryside go by, it's amazing. I also like having tomodachis with itineraries to show me their hometowns because I don't even have to think about what I want to do I can just follow and enjoy learning about how they see where they're from and be led to tasty food -w-

Poseidon- Do you like to swim? 

yyyes and no i think i answered this recently in another meme but i have mixed feelings about swimming. also apparently i can't figure out floating and need to work on that so i don't drown in the river when i do go swimming ;u;

Titans- If you could go anywhere in time, when would you want to go? 

urghhg i mean part of me is like lets go to ancient greece and make notes for my thesis but part of me is like oh no i'd have to understand ancient greek far better than i do and try not to get in trouble, part of me is like what if.... i just go back to the 90s but as an adult so i can get a more nuanced look at what i was living through at the time because at least i speak the language and have a vague idea of what was happening xD (i think i'd have no problem avoiding interacting with past me lol)