#tis the season folks
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when the air is getting colder and the skies are growing darker and it’s starting to feel like the snow in the mountains was melting and bunny had been dead for several weeks before we came to understand the gravity of our situation
#tis the season folks#it’s time for my sixth annual reread#has this post been done before it feels oddly familiar#tsh#the secret history#mine#dark academia
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what would your muse recommend to bucky ?? books / shows / movies / music / media ?? give him advice ?? people to have mutual friends ??
#he’ll write it down on his phone or his notebook#jdjdjd our manager brought coquito to the office#sooooo good !#❪ ⠀ * ⠀ ─── ⠀ 𝙰𝙽𝚂𝚆𝙴𝚁𝙴𝙳. ⠀﹕ ⠀ ooc. ⠀ ❫#tis the season folks#and its giving
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In defense of late-canon x files (including the revivals)
I was thinking about this poll after I commented on it, and I kinda want to be brave and say more.
Short answer to the poll's question before I go any further: If you're a new fan and a sensitive sort who thinks you'll struggle with your blorbos Really Going Through It and you really need a happy ending, I suggest you stop at the end of season 8. Do not pass go, do not look at spoilers. Disregard this post entirely, close the internet, and go look at something that makes you happy. (Also fuck every part of society that characterizes sensitivity as inherently weak and bad and some kind of personal failing, you are valid.)
That said, "quality" as a concept is entirely subjective, and the question of whether or not there's a decline in quality for any story is wholly subjective, too. In the case of x files? I'm not convinced there is a decline. I am going to be upfront that I haven't yet watched past season 8, though I am almost completely spoiled on events after that - and the reason I haven't watched yet is not because of how I know events are going to unfold, but simply because I don't want it to end!!! Ohh, the tension between "I CAN'T WAIT!!!" and "Nooo don't be over D:"
When I first came to txf fandom on tumblr and gradually became spoiled about what happens in late canon though, I was often left uncomfortable and tbh kinda queasy about it. As I said in my comment on the poll, the hate for especially the revival and IWTB, or to a lesser extent even seasons 8 & 9, is very well documented. But! There are other takes to be found here on tumblr if you figure out where to look, and my feelings have changed!
The thing is, I have yet to find myself in any fandom where there isn't a vocal subset of fans who dislike the story after a certain point. I am not joking when I say that no one hates the things they love as passionately as sci-fi and fantasy fans. In my experience, it often hinges on the extent to which a viewer has strong notions on where they would like the characters to end up. In particular with series where shipping is a dominant component for the bulk of a fandom, I have almost universally found that there comes some turning point in the story where "let them be happy you cowards" is the dominant view, and things that compromise the attainment of a degree of romantic stability and/or domesticity are, to many fans, annoying at best and despicable at worst. But! As one tagset on the linked poll said:
and I think for any fandom, that last tag especially is so so so important. (I think that's harder for people watching a weekly series live, bc you have so much time to analyze and speculate and dream before the next breadcrumb drops, but I digress.)
So why am I saying this and how do I apply it to x files? Well, I eventually found that there are also a subset of fans who find redeeming things right up to the very end and actually quite like the whole thing! The things that I had seen people rage and ventpost so much about honestly never quite sounded to me as "out of character" or "untrue to the story" etc as those same ventposts made them sound. And I've discovered I'm not the only one who felt that way. Do I love that the spooky squad had to go through all of those things? No, those poor guys D: Life is hard and they have been through so much trauma. But do those events and their choices make sense to me in light of everything that came before? Yes! And I honestly can't wait to see them fight to overcome those things, breaking, healing, always learning, always growing, always getting better.
So if you're wondering "where does it go wrong"... well, I'm a completionist, as many people who've answered that post are, but also my personal opinion is that I don't think it does go wrong. If you're new and interested in exploring why I've gone from "vaguely queasy" to "excited" about the whole thing, or want to maybe balance out the impressions you're getting about the later seasons before deciding whether or not you want to see the whole thing, I'll put a few blog names in the comments.
Final admission: even once I started feeling a little more confident in the possibility that "actually ok maybe I'm not crazy, maybe this all kind of is in character and does make sense", there was one big plot point that I was NOT looking forward to and I thought I would never be comfortable about. In hindsight, I think my discomfort came from the negative responses being SO seemingly universal that I hadn't stopped to let myself truly consider other possible interpretations on that point. (I mean my initial instinct when I first read about it was, why are we mad about this?? CSM is literally the most unreliable narrator in history???? it's obviously fake news?????? this must be either a fever dream someone's having or it's a misdirection ploy against whatever shadowy forces might still be lurking?????????????? but for whatever reason I guess I had halfway written that off.) Happily, just last month there's a new post-s11 novel out, and although reviews for the book as a whole are mixed, it seems to have laid the groundwork for resolving that plot issue in a way I think most fans would be broadly happy with. If you're interested in being spoiled about that and seeing how, I recommend searching #perihelion on @agent-troi who liveblogged reading it with receipts, scroll back chronological-style to the first post on the subject and see how it unfolded. (And never forget that Dana Katherine Scully is the queen of denial as a coping mechanism lol)
Everyone's mileage will vary. Each person can feel however they want! But for anyone new, I wanted you to know that the very many ventposts you might be seeing are not all there is to this show or its fandom. Some of us love it despite - or even because of - all the things that went "wrong". I think we just don't talk about it as much.
#i don't talk about it much because tbh it can get *fraught*. and i've had that in other fandoms too.#i added and deleted so many qualifiers from this post over it lmao#people are passionate about fandom which is great! as a concept#but it sucks feeling like most people hate the thing you love or that - however diplomatically it's phrased - you should hate it too#or that folks think maybe you *would* be mad if you just looked at it a certain (sometimes seemingly cast as the 'correct') way#basically it's insane that half the time when i see people standing up and praising the revival i'm like 'damn bruh. you brave'#and feeling that way is partly a me thing. but i've seen posts that also lead me to believe it's not JUST a me thing yaknow?#i always wonder whether the 'vocal subset' in any given fandom who hate a thing are really the majority that they appear to be#or if they just appear to be the majority because they've needed to be vocal about it as a sort of internet support group thing lol#which fair enough i mean anyone's entitled to be disappointed or have feelings#for me? i don't think i can remember ever being mad about a series i liked#i'm just here for the vibes man i very rarely have fixed notions#i say to the writers: go ahead and surprise me. i'll make sense of pretty much anything they throw at me#i also think about a dd quote i saw ages ago that as an actor you (paraphrased): can't say 'the character would not do that'#...because if it's in the script then by definition they *did* do that. it's right there on the page.#and that's kind of me as a fan too.#p.s. i fucking love season 8 i love angst and holy shit it delivers. the new characters are fantastic the journey is *chef's kiss* and#yes i consider certain temperamental even assholeish behavior to also be *chef's kiss* there's so much trauma so much reason for it#it's be-yoo-ti-ful 💕 season 8 my beloved 😍#anyway watch it all watch none do what you want. just know that there are people who would cuddle the whole damn thing from start to finish#like a floppy wet lil raggedy ann doll if only they COULD#x files#the x files#txf revival#txf thoughts#i love you floppy wet raggedy ann doll
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People: Make bracelets with your favourite song lyrics to trade at concerts!
Me listening to Northern Attitude ft Hozier on loop: Got it.
#noah kahan#hozier#music#folk#folk music#friendship bracelets#seasonal affective disorder#tis the season#for screaming at the cold#halogen
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Hey would you mind if I ran you a warm bath with bubbles that are your favorite scent, made your favorite hot drink, set up the bed with your favorite blankets fresh out of the dryer and put on your favorite comfort movie, because you're my favorite? Thanks ily
#its chilly out finally#tis the yearning season am i right folks#lgbtq#queer#mlm#mlm yearning#gay yearning#t4t
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December 1st! 🎄
ig: @latenitesushi
#this is not a drill folks#tis the season#season's greetings#find me with my christmas playlist on repeat#happy holidays#christmas aesthetic#christmas decorations#christmas decor#christmas#spaces#interiors#desk#desk aesthetic#desk decor#desk inspiration#home decor#study inspiration#study motivation#city life#city aesthetic#latenightsushi
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Booo? 👻🍂
#tis the best time of the year folks!#art#artists on tumblr#digital art#illustration#autumn#spooky season#halloween#my art
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Me, watching folks use surface-level, exceedingly basic information to say "everything is the same but with different names" lately:
#tell me you skimmed wiki without telling me you skimmed wiki#honestly some folks were given the term 'syncretism' and just fled with it#and I do mean fled#it's okay bb you got overwhelmed by how large the universe is and needed to reduce reuse recycle it back to bb bites#that's alright#you enjoy your lil stew of uneven jagged puzzle pieces XD#I haven't been posting occult stuff on Tumblr partly because of this#tis magpie season and I am staying home 😂🤝#boop's rambles#witchblr#witch community#occultblr
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#Ancient Ways#Sacred Ways#Tis The Season#Yule#Yule log#Charring the Old Wife#Cailleach's Herbarium#Scottish winter folk customs#Wheel of the Year#Ancestors Alive!#What is Remembered Lives#Memory & Spirit of Place#Folkways#Customs#Traditions
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when michael clifford and luke hemmings cover tis the damn season. what then
#WHAT FUCKING THEN#sorry i just had this vision of michael with the strings and blacked out#and i know tdds isnt rly his vocal range but i am quite confident luke could absolutely#fuck me i need this why did i ever imagine it#the clip of them talking abt writing a folk song with her haunts my every waking moment. every moment i tell you#m talks 5sos#tis the damn season
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To Know You…
Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x fem!reader
Summary: Benedict knows you better than anyone. But does he know himself well enough to know what he truly wants?
Warnings: none really… fluffy fluff. Childhood friends, class differences, marriage mart shenanigans, dancing, marriage proposals, Benedict being adorable while also a complete dumbass, unrequited to requited love, love confessions.
Word Count: 10.4k (yeah, it's a long one, folks)
Authors Note: this is a request fill for @curlsincriminology (ask HERE) about Benedict showing you all the wonderful things he sees in you, but will he figure out his own feelings before it's too late? Thanks to the complete trooper @colettebronte for beta reading this monster one-shot. Enjoy <3
I: To Know You….
“I would rather not, Miss y/l/n,” the young man clips, walking away from you at a brusque pace.
You sigh and look down at your feet. Mrs Parsons will be so very disappointed, is all you can think.
—
Benedict may not have heard the words spoken, but even from his vantage point at the other end of the ballroom, he could see the disdainful way the young man uttered his parting words to you. It makes anger flare hot in his chest, his fist forming reflexively at his side.
He watches as you look down, shoulders hunching, folding in on yourself physically, as if the rejection for a dance has manifested in a body blow. He feels a pang in his gut—of sympathy, indignance on your behalf and mainly at the injustice of it all. To him, you are a wonderful, intelligent, caring person worthy of a good match. Still, the circumstances of your upbringing seem to stymie your attempts to join so-called ‘polite’ society at every turn…
—
You look up with a defeated mien until your eyes land on one person who has always been able to ameliorate any of your more morose moods—Benedict Bridgerton. Instantly, you feel lighter. You give him a polite nod across the crowded room, and, to your delight, he returns it, a hint of a sympathetic smile tugging at his lips. It is just so very characteristic of him to offer silent support, to understand, from witnessing a moment of interaction, precisely what you are feeling. A large part of you feels so wistful that there is no other man quite as nice as him. Suddenly, your overwhelming need is to leave this stuffy ballroom and catch some air.
You grew up under the tutelage of the kindly doctor’s widow, Mrs Parsons, whose house is not far from the vast Bridgerton estate in Kent. The naturally born daughter of nobody quite knows whom, you were taken in as her ward when you were abandoned upon her doorstep at a mere two years old. Her reputation for kindness towards young waifs and strays is likely why you were left there. It is an event you were too young to recall, so all you have known your whole life is her generosity and kindness, raising you as if her own.
And now that you are of age, she takes you to events around Kent in the hopes of securing you a respectable husband, the most prestigious being tonight’s Hearts and Flowers Ball at Aubrey Hall. The Bridgertons have always been gracious enough to invite local families, those without the means to partake in the London season, to events at their country estate—a kindness that allows for your attendance tonight. It’s just such a pity that the one bachelor Mrs Parsons was so very keen for you to meet, one Mr Reeves, just rebuffed you so thoroughly.
You glance down at the remaining empty slots on the dance card tied to your wrist and sigh again. Now that you are out on the terrace in the fresh evening air, the light breeze is at least a partial balm, allowing you to recover from the sting of rejection away from the hubbub of the ballroom.
“I will never understand how the men of this county can consider themselves anything approaching mannered.”
You would know that refined voice anywhere. It haunts your dreams. Just the sound of it making your ribs tighten. You turn to see Benedict sauntering towards you, two drinks in hand, that sympathetic smile still in place.
“You are far better off without such rudeness,” he adds dryly as he pulls up beside you, arching an eyebrow for your entertainment.
“You are far too kind, Mr Bridgerton,” you answer, taking the glass he offers with a meek smile, trying not to let your ardent admiration for him be too evident.
“Mr Bridgerton?!?” he scoffs, “What happened to BenBen?” he teases gently, recalling your childhood name for him when you were a mere four and he was nine.
“We are at a formal event; I should address you as such, should I not?” you reply playfully, a warmth spreading inside as it always does when you get the chance to have a witty, convivial exchange with him.
By gosh, if there is one man to whom you would pledge yourself without hesitation, it is him. But, of course, he is the second son of an illustrious family. To think you would have any chance to win his heart would be as likely as a future king to marry a commoner. Still, you can dream…
“At least call me Benedict, Skylark,” he winks over his wine glass as he takes a sip, butterflies erupting in your tummy at the affectionate nickname he has used since you were small; you have to avert your eyes to avoid blushing deeply.
Just as he goes to speak again, his brother, the Viscount, materialises at his side. Looking to all intents and purposes as if he is trying to escape the ball as much as you are.
“Mother is best avoided tonight, brother,” Anthony warns sagely, taking a large gulp of his champagne. “She is under the erroneous impression I am suddenly in want of a wife.”
You can't stop the giggle that bubbles up from within at his wry observation of his predicament.
“Hello, y/n,” he greets warmly, just noticing you are also there, his face morphing into a youthful, playful grin. If Benedict is the husband you have always dreamed of, Anthony is the elder brother you have always yearned for. In fact, that is always how he has treated you, akin to Eloise and Daphne, who you grew up playing with, being of similar age.
“Hello, Anthony,” you chime back. “How was the hunt earlier? Did the infamous Bridgerton brothers kill another prized stag?” you inquire, keen to engage both of them for as long as they will entertain you. Just being around them always lifts your spirits to no end.
—
Benedict observes you as you listen intently to Anthony’s recounting of the hunt earlier that day, impressed by your resilience. He has no doubts any other woman would feign an attack of the vapours had a man rejected her so harshly. But here you are, politely listening to his brother’s boasting, even though he can tell you are hurting inside.
Perhaps it helps that your snub went primarily unnoticed. You are unknown to the Ton; any witnesses likely dismissing it as the business of ‘country folk’ unworthy of note. Which, frankly, he could scoff at, seeing as he holds you in higher regard than all of the other attendees combined.
“How about you?” Anthony ends his story with a question to you, interrupting Benedict’s train of thought. “How has your experience been at our fine event this evening?”
“Oh, the house is splendidly decorated and the music wonderful,” you obfuscate behind flattery. Anthony appears to buy it, but Benedict sees behind your facade, the flame behind your usually bright gaze dimming a little, making something ache in his gut to see it.
Damn that idiot for ruining your evening! This just won’t do…
—
You can feel Benedict’s eyes upon you as you respond abstractly to Anthony.
“Y/n here is too polite to say it, but she was treated harshly by that young Reeves chap from Tenterden,” Benedict edifies as you bow your head, embarrassed. “Let’s be sure to rescind his invitation to future events, brother,” he appends with a surly tone.
“Duly noted,” Anthony nods sincerely, a brush of confusion flitting over his face regarding his brother's vehemence.
“No, there is no need…” you begin to protest weakly but halt mid-sentence under the intensity of Benedict’s gaze.
“I bore witness. Believe me, He shall not darken our door again,” he states firmly.
It appears the matter is very much decided, and you don’t want to put up much of a fight, seeing as it ultimately benefits you. You do, however, want to bathe in the warm glow inside whenever Benedict defends you. It's wonderful to have someone looking out for you, especially one so handsome and kind.
—
Two days later, you are taking afternoon tea with Mrs Parsons at the local tea shop when Benedict breezes in, looking so majestic dressed in Bridgerton blues that you grind to a halt. Luckily, he has not seen you as he makes a beeline for the counter.
“‘Tis rude to stare, my dear,” Mrs Parsons lectures sotto voce, nodding to your teacup, frozen in mid-air.
You shake your head a touch and place said item back in your saucer as she turns briefly to look at what or who caught your attention. Then she reaches out, her lace-gloved hand gently patting yours.
“It would be prudent to set your sights a little more realistic…” she advises with a sympathetic air. “Not that I fault your choice,” she adds, so quietly at first you're not sure you heard her correctly, but there is a tiny playful smirk tugging at the corner of her lips. Your mouth falls open fractionally, and you stare as she shrugs. “I may be old, my dear, but I am not blind.”
Well, I never, Mrs Parsons!
As you take a bite of food, Benedict twists around from speaking to the proprietor, and he sees you. There’s a jolt down your spine as he breaks into a huge smile that claims his whole face. And you almost choke on scone crumbs as he makes a beeline over to you rather than the exit.
“Good afternoon, Miss y/l/n, Mrs Parsons!” he greets effusively. “Would it be terribly impolite to ask to join you briefly?”
Mrs Parsons' face is a picture of surprise. “Not at all; the pleasure is ours, Mr Bridgerton,” she responds affably, gesturing to the spare chair at your small round table.
As Benedict sits, Mrs Parsons shoots you an incredulous look. It's your turn to shrug fractionally.
“Mrs Parsons, I feel it necessary to tell you Mr Reeves was excessively rude to Miss y/l/n here at the ball, and I wanted to assure you that he will not be welcome at Aubrey Hall again,” he divulges sincerely.
Mrs Parsons looks taken aback and turns to you. “Why did you not tell me, my dear?”
“I-I did not think it necessary…” you twist your mouth into a bashful pout, biting your lip.
“Mr Bridgerton, thank you for bringing this to my attention, and I thank you for your generous offer, but that sort of action does not seem warranted,” she replies accommodatingly.
“That is what I said…” “That is what she said…”
You and Benedict speak in unison at the exact same moment, and your eyes ping to each other, both laughing then bowing your heads immediately. You know your cheeks are flushed.
—
Benedict loves the look in your eye sometimes. That spirited sparkle with glowing cheeks. In his opinion, that is the only look you should ever wear; no one, especially one as unworthy as Mr Reeves, should be allowed to rob you of it. He feels a strong compulsion to do everything in his power to keep you looking like that—carefree, happy, stunning. It’s what motivates his subsequent words.
“If it is not considered too impudent for me to do so, I have a suggestion for Miss y/l/n’s introduction into society,” Benedict offers sincerely. “I believe you should be able to find her an excellent, worthy match by casting a wider net.”
“What are you proposing, Mr Bridgerton?” Mrs Parsons inquiries, almost warily.
“That Miss y/l/n come to London and partake in the remainder of the season as a guest of my family. My mother seems to think it an excellent idea, and I know my younger sister Eloise is already a good friend. I do not see why they could not attend events together,” he shrugs genially.
Mrs Parsons's face is a picture again. “You have already spoken to the Dowager Viscountess of this matter?” she checks, unable to modulate the astonishment in her tone.
“Of course,” he confirms with a nod. “I made such a suggestion this morning when your names came up. She heartily concurs. Miss y/l/n here is too bright and good of a person to have her marital choice limited by geography or circumstance.”
His eyes fall on you, and his heart gallops at the searing look you are giving him.
—
You don’t even try to temper your doe-eyed expression as you look upon Benedict, him extolling your virtues to the audience of the tea room.
Even distracted by all the wondrous things he has to say, you can detect the noise level on the surrounding tables has reduced; everyone in town always keen to eavesdrop on a Bridgerton conversation. Especially one that contains such noteworthy gossip as a local young lady being invited to the London season at the family’s behest.
“My dear, I trust that Lady Bridgerton will look after you well,” Mrs Parsons professes. “I have no objections should you desire to seize this opportunity.” Her tone pointed, very much encouraging you to do so.
“That would be just wonderful, Mr Bridgerton,” you exhale with a grateful smile. “I cannot thank you enough for even thinking to raise such a petition.”
“Think nothing of it, Miss y/l/n,” he smiles, standing up and giving you both a brief, shallow bow. “I shall see you anon, no doubt.”
And with that, he sweeps out of the tearoom, your eye line tracking his concave outline through the curved glass as he rounds the corner out of sight.
“Well, well,” Mrs Parsons puffs out her cheeks. “I am not sure what you did to inspire such actions in a gentleman. But bravo, my dear, bravo,” she holds her teacup aloft in a toast.
You are a jumble of emotions and could not even begin to answer Mrs Parsons about what you could possibly have done. Mostly, you are just elated by the prospect of the chance to attend the whirl of the London season, even if there is also a small pang of regret that Benedict is so keen to see you matched.
II: …Is To Love You
The following Tuesday, as your carriage pulls up outside the grandeur of Bridgerton House, you have nothing but butterflies. And as Lady Bridgerton - Violet as she insists you now call her - and her lady’s maid show you to your charming guest room, you cannot temper your excitement.
“Get yourself freshened up, my dear. There is a soiree this evening at the Queen’s new residence no less, and there is no time like the present to begin your introductions,” the dowager viscountess warmly counsels.
You nod your thank yous, and after they take their leave, you twirl excitedly around the room, taking in the elegant furnishings and airy sunlight flooding in. You pull up in front of a large sash window and are delighted to see bounteous gardens beneath. The rear of the property is very much an oasis of calm in the heart of the city. But one sight in particular draws your eye: a majestic oak with two swings attached to a stately arm. It looks like a place of refuge, and you feel oddly compelled to take a seat there.
Three hours later, walking into the palatial Buckingham House, you are in a different world from the one you know in Kent. Candlelit crystal chandeliers glint like towering clusters of jewels, spraying thousands of shards of light around the room. Every railing is bedecked in hundreds of drooping flower garlands, and the walls groan with enormous portraits of royalty. The mellifluous strains of a chamber orchestra fill the air. Your grip on Eloise’s arm is tight as you try not to look agog at all the opulence surrounding you.
“And I thought Aubrey Hall was grand,” you murmur quietly, and she just guffaws.
—
Benedict arrives late to the soiree from his bachelor lodgings, bustling in as stealthily as possible, knowing he will likely catch his mother’s ire for his tardiness.
But then he sees a sight that makes him temporarily stop dead in his tracks. There, hanging on to his little sister, surveying the room utterly lost in reverie at its grandeur—is you. He has not seen you dressed up as you are now, made over with the full attention of the Bridgerton staff. And he isn't afraid to admit to himself, at least, that it catches his breath. How they have applied cosmetics and styled your hair, emphasising your already evident beauty. And the dress they have chosen… well, he is almost ashamed of the heat pooling low in his gut; he has never seen you in such tailored, refined silks.
Whosoever marries you shall be quite the luckiest man indeed.
He doesn't miss the way you inhale sharply when your eyes finally land on him, his chest swelling slightly with pride as your lips part in surprise before breaking into that winning smile which always seems to brighten every room, tonight being no exception.
As he pulls up to the family, he hears his mother opining to you about the men attending the ball.
“Y/n, I would like to introduce you to Lord Shelton; he is a fine young man with many interests, and he has a lovely estate near Hove,” his mother recounts as you listen intently.
“Oh god, no,” Benedict immediately intervenes, “Shelton has amassed significant debt at the Pudding Lane gaming hell…”
Violet looks up surprised, then raises an eyebrow. “Pray tell dear son, how do you have knowledge of such? Benedict Bridgerton, you had better not be frequenting the hells of the East End,” she threatens quietly, in that stern maternal manner that has any grown man quaking in their polished shoes.
“No, of course not, mother,” he bristles, his eyes cutting briefly to you, not wanting you to think such things of him. “It is an open secret at Whites’, and why he is currently banned from the card room there.”
—
You cannot tear your eyes off Benedict as his mother side-eyes him.
Violet hums sceptically before declaring. “Well, not to worry, there are plenty of other options available for Miss y/l/n…” She steers your attention towards another crowd of young men, all talking and sipping champagne. “Baron Corning, Lord Jennings, Viscount Tewkesbury,” she recounts, nodding subtly to each one. “Any would make a fine addition to your dance card, my dear.”
“We can do much better than any of them,” Benedict chides.
You are slightly taken aback at how very much he sounds like Anthony tonight; apparently very invested in curating who you should dance with. The problem is, with each additional suggestion his mother makes to you, he roundly dismisses them out of hand.
Is no one in attendance up to his standard?
“Benedict, dear, a word?” Violet states pointedly after a third round of his withering opinions. “Get yourself another lemonade,” she smiles at you, patting your hand before looping her arm in her son’s and dragging him away.
—
His mother’s arm is surprisingly strong when she needs it to be.
“Darling, may I remind you, while Miss Y/l/n is indeed a wonderful person, I do not think we can afford to be too picky for her prospects. Her background is rather… unestablished,” Violet points out diplomatically as soon as you are out of earshot.
“We can do better than braggards, bores and philanderers,” Benedict shoots back, raising a pointed eyebrow.
She looks up at him and sighs. “Well, that is true.”
“As I thought, mother,” he winks as she affectionately swats his forearm. “Why not benefit from my knowledge? In fact, perhaps it is prudent I assist in your search for a suitor.”
“Oh, is it now?” Her tone suddenly filled with intrigue, her face entirely too scrutinising for his liking. “And does not my second son wish to join their ranks?” She adds entirely unsubtly.
“I have no time for romance; I have my art. I am most preoccupied.” He waves a dismissive hand, but even he knows his answer is tellingly brusque.
“And yet, you do not seem too busy to assist with the search, dear…” she points out archly.
Benedict has no response to that.
—
The day after the grand ball, you are sat in the dappled shade in the gardens of Bridgerton House, attempting needlework. It's never been your strength, frankly. You would much rather be allowed to partake in more physical pursuits, like archery or fencing, a want to burn off nervous energy as you await the arrival of any suitors. You did end up dancing with a couple of gentlemen, both of whom were…. fine… in your estimation.
After messing up yet another stitch, you throw down the embroidery hoop and emit a deep sigh when a familiar chuckle rings out behind you.
“Not your favourite pastime?” Benedict correctly guesses.
“You can say that again,” you grumble, twisting to smile at him, a little frisson in your belly at his mere presence, alone as you are.
He rounds to take a seat opposite you, across the table.
“So let me guess,” his face charmingly skewed into a thoughtful mien. “You would prefer to be doing something, hmmmm, more athletic?”
You giggle and cast your eyes downwards briefly, abashed he seems to know you so well. “Correct again.”
“I remember you being a crack shot in archery,” he smiles nostalgically before continuing with genuine curiosity. “Why did you not continue it?”
“I was informed ‘tis unbecoming for a lady,” you rue, the mental image of Mrs Parsons deeming such things ‘unladylike’ flitting through your mind.
He scoffs. “Since when did fearsome little Skylark care one jot for societal expectations?” he teases gently, with a wink, as again he invokes the nickname he bestowed upon you a long time hence.
You smile briefly before you become more sanguine. “Since I have been informed I must find a husband…” you sigh.
He frowns a touch. “Any man would be lucky to have a wife who can keep him company on the archery field. I know I, for one, would greatly appreciate a spouse with whom I could share such a pastime.”
A bittersweet twinge in your gut that one day he will indeed be married to some deserving, no doubt elegant, lady.
“I would venture that you are not like most gentlemen in that regard…”
“Perhaps not,” he agrees, looking thoughtful, “but then you are not like most ladies, Skylark.”
“I am not a lady…” your counterpoint softly-spoken, almost ashamed.
“You are more lady than any other member of the Ton,” he asserts, his gaze suddenly intense, as if he is willing you to believe his point. “And you should be free to pursue any pastime you wish.”
You say nothing, just smile wanly, wishing you could believe it was true.
—
How you constantly doubt yourself causes a little stab behind Benedict’s ribs. A sudden burning need to prove that you should do as you please. He slaps his thighs and stands up swiftly.
“In fact, I am going to go set up the archery targets right now,” he nods decisively, making a beeline for the far corner of the garden where he knows the targets are kept, hoping you will follow.
“Coming?” he calls, twisting to look back at you. “I won't tell anyone…” he adds with a conspiratorial wink, seeing from the involuntary bounce of your leg how much you wish to join in.
He cannot help the smile that engulfs his face as you jump to your feet with a mischievous giggle. Nor can he help deliberately aiming badly, letting you roundly defeat him at target practice, basking in the victorious glint in your eye as you tease him gently for losing.
He also pretends not to notice his mother watching from a high window, her expression riveted and so very telling.
—
Later that day, you are reading quietly with Eloise when Violet sweeps into the drawing room with her lady's maid.
“Y/n, Sir Denton is here to see you,” she smiles brightly.
“Oh, I…” you stutter, sitting upright, surprised.
“I can send him away, Miss?” The maid offers, intuiting your disquiet.
“No, no, it is fine… I am just surprised, that is all. ‘Tis almost 4pm. I was not expecting that anyone would be calling, given the late hour.”
Benedict suddenly materialises in the doorway. As ever, there’s that trademark flutter in your chest.
“Any reason Denton is lingering in the hallway?” he inquires airily, grabbing a teacup and pouring himself some.
“He is here for y/n,” Violet breezes as his eyes cut to you, a wave of irritation seeming to cloud his face.
“Well, we should dismiss him,” Benedict sniffs, pausing in his action, his face souring.
“Why?” Violet frowns.
“I had a chance to look into his past since I acquiesced to his dance with y/n last night…”
“Acquiesced?!” Violet scoffs, but Benedict ignores her interjection, save for a curt eyebrow raise.
“I have subsequently discovered he has vastly overstated his assets,” Benedict bristles imperiously.
“Who woke up and made you Anthony?” Eloise pipes up witheringly.
Benedict shoots her a look of irritation. “Anthony has deputised me to run family matters while he is away on business this week, sister,” he reminds pointedly.
“Yes, but you did not have to adopt his personality as well,” Eloise shoots back, disgust evident on her face.
“I take finding y/n here, a suitable match, seriously,” he volleys. “Do you wish to see your good friend married to someone unworthy of her?”
“Well, no…”
“Then kindly permit me to handle matters,” Benedict orders with finality, uncharacteristically forthright in his opinions.
“I do not wish to see her married at all…” Eloise mutters under her breath as he stalks away to dispatch Denton before anyone can argue.
You just sit there mildly dumbfounded, unsure what to make of it all.
—
The following evening, you are attending a music recital with the Bridgertons; Benedict is notably absent, which makes you a touch melancholic in a way you don’t want to dwell on.
However, the evening turns for the better while you are taking refreshments at the interval. A friendly-faced young man strikes up a conversation with you after an introduction from Violet.
“Are you enjoying the music tonight, Miss y/l/n?” he asks genially.
“It is very nice, Lord Glassborough,” you offer politely, trying to stifle your slight boredom. You enjoy music, but a two-hour concert is a little too much for you. You much prefer a short set of songs as they play at balls.
“I find it rather dull myself,” he opines quietly, leaning in. “I much prefer a lively song one may dance to.”
You know your face is a picture of surprise that his opinion is an exact mirror of your own.
“Have I offended you so?” he checks, looking mildly contrite.
“Not at all, my lord. I was actually just thinking the same myself,” you chuckle quietly.
He looks inordinately pleased and breaks into a friendly, toothy grin. He seems like a nice, agreeable sort. A pleasant, if not particularly handsome, face. Over his shoulder, you see Violet looking inordinately pleased you appear to be getting on so well.
—
“I am not sure I can do this...” you sigh as Ms West genially taps the metronome.
“You can, dear; just remember your finger placement,” she encourages as your fingers fall to the cool ivory keys.
And so you begin again. Attempting to master this tricky piece, your eyes tracing the lines of music as you play the pianoforte. Violet is so keen for you to brush up on your skills, given Lord Glassborough’s interest in you yesterday. You could not find an adequate excuse fast enough, and so here you are, in a slightly reluctant music lesson, trying your best to recall how Mrs Parsons taught you to play a few years ago.
“Men do so appreciate a lady who can entertain them with exquisite music,” Ms West nods approvingly as you play.
Mostly, you are relieved when you make it to the end with no mistakes, at least none glaringly obvious.
“I much prefer to sing…” you admit tacitly as Ms West shuffles the sheet music.
She looks at you surprised, then shoos you from the piano stool. “Sing for me then, my dear…” taking a seat and beginning the opening bars to a song that, fortunately, you know well.
You begin to sing along, growing more confident with every note, allowing yourself to get lost in the words, the story of a lady awaiting her true love.
“Exceptional!” she peals delightedly over the sound, and you feel bolstered to continue, her playing the perfect accompaniment.
—
Benedict stops short as soon as he enters the house. The most lilting, beautiful sound echoing gently down the marble hall.
“Who is that Jenkins?” he asks of the butler who takes his coat.
“I believe it is Miss y/l/n, sir.”
He draws inexorably closer, finding himself watching you through the crack in the doorway, listening to you sing a touching tale of love that sounds so hauntingly hypnotic in your mellifluous tones. Your eyes are closed, and you sway to the melody, lost in reverie, in the narrative you weave.
The piano stops abruptly.
“Can we help you, sir?” an elder lady calls crisply.
Benedict realises the door has crept open slightly before him, enough for him to be seen by your music teacher. He watches as you swing around and look horrified that you may have an audience. It makes him take a resolute step forward into the room.
“Do you need us to desist? Is it perhaps too loud?” the lady checks deferentially, likely assuming him to be the head of the household.
“No!” His reply is a touch too forceful. “Please continue,” he modifies. “I was merely drawn by the splendid sound I heard. I am not sure I have ever heard such a wondrous voice,” he adds, keeping his gaze steadfastly upon the lady, not able to look you in the eye as he confesses as such.
—
You are mortified when you realise Benedict heard you singing; you have always managed to keep it private, until now at least. But now your heart is suddenly pounding at his extolling words.
“She does indeed have a most excellent voice,” Ms West concurs with his sentiment, looking at you expectantly as Benedict walks further into the room, his face with the same hopeful expression.
“I am not sure I can…” you stumble, nervous for an audience, most especially him; his is the opinion that would matter to you the most—you would be crestfallen should he not like it.
“Sing more for me, please, Skylark?” His ask is gentle, beseeching as if it were just the two of you alone.
“Skylark?” Ms West sounds enchanted.
“My childhood nickname for Miss y/l/n,” Benedict explains as he takes a seat.
“Skylarks have a wonderful song,” she sighs wistfully.
“Indeed,” Benedict chimes, his eyes still upon you. “I never knew how appropriate it was until this very moment.”
Something warm cracks in your chest at his sweet words, making you courageous. At least enough to nod when Ms West looks to you again from the piano. And so you restart the song for your special audience, heart in your mouth. The words coming easily to you, an extra layer of meaning he will never know as you sing words of unrequited devotion, looking to him in your braver moments. His face is enrapt, leaning forward, his eyes soft and expressive.
As you reach a high note at the end of the song, holding it, Benedict bursts into applause, jumping up from his seat and taking you by surprise, grabbing your gloved hands in his.
“You should always be singing Skylark…” he pronounces. “Truly beautiful. Please promise me, no matter what happens, that you will always, always sing…”
You duck your head briefly, unsure how to deal with his effusive praise. Ms West’s face is a picture as you stand there, your hands still trapped in his, feeling a tingle where the warmth of his skin seeps through the layers to yours.
“I-I-I promise,” you reply meekly, a touch dazed as you raise your eyes again to meet his, the intensity making your lungs restrict.
“Thank you.”
Two words have never sounded so sincere or loaded with significance.
III: … And I Do.
A few days later, it is the Trowbridge Ball, a decadent affair that is usually the most talked about of the season, apparently. You share a carriage ride there with Benedict and Eloise, trying your best not to stare at him—so handsomely dressed in a white cravat and black velvet cropped jacket that clings to his tapered shape. But mostly, you fail. Your skin flushes hot the more you look at him. You could swear that his gaze strays to you, too, subtly sweeping the fine teal silk Madam Delacroix has expertly tailored for you.
“You look beautiful this evening, ladies,” he offers politely to both you and Eloise.
“What do you want?” Eloise cuts across your reply, narrowing her eyes at her older brother, instantly suspicious of his flattery.
“Can I not compliment without an ulterior motive?” he frowns, their usual sibling dynamic emerging.
“Not usually,” Eloise sniffs, with another suspicious glance, before looking out the carriage window.
You take the opportunity to mumble your thanks to him. His responding smile warms your entire being, his hazy eyes lingering in a way that makes your skin prickle. And when he offers a chivalrous hand to assist you down from the carriage, you could swear his hand lingers upon yours a few seconds longer than is necessary.
Around an hour later, as you go to partake in a refreshment, a sneering Lady Cowper utters something cruel under her breath as you pass, her sour-looking daughter smirking beside her. You do not hear all of the words, but you do not need to. One sideways glance tells you all that you need to know. It seems so unnecessarily cruel, never having even exchanged so much as a word with you, but even as you feel a lump in your throat, their attention is already elsewhere.
“Ah! Mr Briddgerton,” her entire demeanour changing to oleaginous charm, “my daughter looks particularly stunning tonight, does she not? I do believe you should secure a place upon her dance card before there are none left!”
You watch Benedict blanch at the very words.
“I do not dance, Lady Cowper, but I bid you ladies a good evening,” he responds, polite but firm.
You try your hardest not to giggle at the disdained look on their faces as he sweeps past them, and you feel light as air as, instead, he draws up to you and winks.
“That woman does not realise she is doing her daughter’s prospects more harm than good with her brashness,” he comments dryly as he grabs a glass of champagne from the stand next to you.
“I am not so sure the daughter would do much better without her; she seems perpetually furious about her own hairstyle,” you opine sardonically, making Benedict snort loudly into his champagne glass. A lightness fizzles in your being as he shoots you a look of unmistakable admiration for that remark.
“I daresay you are a much better dancer than her,” he contends, not breaking eye contact, placing aside his drink before leaning in and continuing in a hushed voice. “Perhaps you would do me the honour of a dance, Skylark, to confirm my suspicion?”
There is a vault in your chest as he employs your private nickname in public and, not only that, is offering you a dance when, just a moment ago, he declared publicly that he would not.
You can only nod, heart hammering, as he breaks out into the most handsome smile, offering you his arm and leading you to the centre of the room as you hear a ripple go through the nearby crowd. Apparently the sight of one Benedict Bridgerton taking to the dancefloor is a rare occasion indeed.
—
As he takes your gloved hand in his and curls an arm around your shoulder, he realises this was perhaps a mistake. An impromptu offer, the hollow thrill of petty revenge for the insult he observed the Cowpers sling at you. But now he realises it has rather backfired upon him.
He cares not a jot for the gossiping, people nodding and pointing to you both as you begin to dance. No, the problem is much more concerning than that.
It is how discombobulated he feels having you in his arms.
How your body seems to fit and move perfectly with his. How, when you dare to look up at him, his mouth goes a little dry. He has never truly noticed how striking your eyes are until seeing them this close. Indeed, the evident beauty of your face, the way you seem to glow from within, more tonight than ever. It makes his chest - and somewhere else on his body - feel entirely too tight.
—
Nothing could have prepared you for this.
The feeling of literally being swept off your feet. With Benedict's handsome face smiling down upon you as you seem to float around the dancefloor.
Surely, this is what dreams are made of?
You know it is a flight of fancy, but it seems as though the floor beneath your feet is a shower of diamonds rather than candlelight refracted through chandeliers. The warmth and strength of Benedict’s embrace caged around you, respectful but so close it makes your lungs feel too small to gasp the air you need to keep moving. But you never want to stop. A whirlwind of sensation as you twirl, carried away by the music, the man, the moment.
“Thank you, Benedict,” you breathe, knowing you are likely looking up at him far too adoringly but unable to mask it, a burning need for him to know how grateful you are for this dance, not even noting your over-familial use of his first name at a society event.
His eyes flash and you could swear they dilate a fraction before you must turn your back to him, following the steps.
“I was right,” he rumbles cryptically from behind you now, his large hands wrapped around yours as you hold them aloft together, following the moves of the dance. “It is indeed an honour to dance with you.”
Your belly flares as you turn in unison and realise that you are now dancing right in front of Cressida, her expression murderous. It makes you bolder than you have ever been, tilting your head sideways a fraction so your cheek almost brushes Benedict’s, fuelled by the envy you feel seething from within her.
You could swear he sighs ‘Skylark’ as his hot breath tickles your ear, your chest pounding, a flavour in the air you can taste, a powerful stirring low in your belly.
—
Benedict knows this is a dangerous path and yet is powerless to do anything but walk it. Breathing your nickname into your hair as he inhales your scent, heightened by the movement of your dancing. A light, sweet floral perfume but underneath the smell of you, familiar from many years of friendship but altered now, more decadent, an undercurrent of tart berries that thrills and stirs deep within him. Even while knowing his ever-vigilant mother is watching, an inscrutable expression upon her face.
He is almost grateful when the music ends before he does something foolish. But then you are staring up into his face, all doe-eyed expectant beauty and his tongue feels unexpectedly tied. He is almost grateful when an interrupting hand wraps around his shoulder.
—
You watch Will Mondrich whisper in Benedict’s ear, and before you know it, he is offering apologies to you with a shallow, polite bow before hurrying away. Coming back to reality with a bump, you drift awkwardly from the dance floor, feeling judgy eyes upon you, suddenly flooded with concern your behaviour was entirely too wanton.
Before your thoughts can spiral too far, however, someone materialises at your side.
“I do so hope your dance card is not full tonight, Miss y/l/n,” a newly-familiar, chipper voice cut in.
“Lord Glassborough,” you breathe; your relief at seeing his cordial face is palpable. “I am available to dance right now,” you smile politely, taking his proffered arm and letting him lead you back out to the spot you and Benedict had just vacated.
As the music begins and you move together, the difference is… noticeable. Gone is the frisson over your limbs, that excitement as if your skin could vibrate off your bones. Instead you feel comforted, almost a brotherly presence as he leads you in the dance. He is technically proficient, but it feels lacking—that tension, that heat burning in the space between you. It makes you yearn for Benedict even though he was just with you. It makes your stomach settle with a leaden weight you realise you will have to settle for less than what you truly desire.
Still distracted by your mental comparison, you absently acquiesce to his suggestion to take some air upon the terrace as the dance ends. You sense Violet, ever the vigilant chaperone, follow as he leads you into the cooler air outside.
“Miss y/l/n…,” Lord Glassborough begins cautiously. You sense a nervousness in his being, pulling your full focus to him. “I think us most compatible, would you not agree?”
“We make most excellent friends, indeed, Lord Glassborough,” you hedge, not wanting to appear overzealous.
“And friendship is the most appropriate foundation to build something more… tender,” he argues with a smile. “I do believe I could offer you a most agreeable life.”
There is a strange twinge in your chest as suddenly, you realise what this is. The moment everyone, except perhaps yourself, has been awaiting all season.
“I would be honoured if you would consent to be my wife, Miss y/l/n,” he humbly offers a sincere kindness shining in his eyes.
And there it is. An offer of marriage from a perfectly nice, respectable gentleman done in an appropriate manner.
To one side, you see Violet clutch a hand over her chest, face delighted, even as you form fists within your delicate gloves, wishing this moment were not happening so soon after a truly breathtaking dance with the man of your dreams. Who is not the same man as the one before you, nervously shuffling from foot to foot, awaiting your reply.
“I am honoured, Lord Glassborough,” you answer cautiously, bowing your head demurely. “This is a big decision to make. Please allow me time to give you my proper, considered answer?”
“Of course,” he bows chivalrously, his accommodating nature making this moment all the more bittersweet. He is indeed a lovely man.
He is just not the one you want with every fibre of your being.
—
That night, you cannot sleep. Knowing you have the most significant decision of your life to make. So, in the small hours, you find yourself drifting to the deserted kitchen of Bridgerton House to do what you do best when you need to think calmly—baking.
An activity you have grown up doing with Mrs Parsons. Many hours spent happily with flour dusting your hands, sun streaming into her grand but homely kitchen. A perhaps slightly maverick pastime for a lady of her social standing, with staff to do such things for her should she wish it, but so very enjoyable nonetheless.
Throwing a large, heavy baking apron over your nightdress and robe, you potter around, the flagstone of the basement floor cold underfoot, a grounding feeling that stops your mind from racing too much.
You have no idea how to respond to Glassborough’s proposal. On one hand, he is a seemingly nice man, certainly of a good family. You are sure he would be a perfectly acceptable husband, unlikely to be mean or untoward. It is just… a nagging voice is telling you to turn him down despite him being an imminently sensible choice, your heart wanting, well, the impossible. A man that excites you, not just a safe, practical option.
You are onto your second batch of lemon and rosemary biscuits when a voice makes you jump out of your skin.
“What on earth…?”
There in the doorway is Benedict, looking confounded to find you here. The very man who makes your heart skip, always. He is dressed the most casually you have ever seen him— also barefoot, in a white frilled shirt and dark trousers, brocade braces slung around his hips. You swear you may have to grab the bench before you to stay upright.
“Y/n! We have cooks you can call upon at any time should you need food!” he fusses, instantly concerned, moving to ring a bell on the wall.
“No! Please do not!” You exclaim, rushing to stop him, grabbing his sleeve in your haste. “I-I enjoy baking. It is relaxing; it helps me to think.”
His brow knits and his eyes flick down to your hold on his sleeve, a warm vein pulsing under your fingertips. You snatch your hand away quickly, a blush staining your cheeks, mumbling an apology as you scurry back to your biscuit-making.
“Alright,” he concedes slowly, still appearing confused. “When I saw the sconces lit from the rear stairwell, I assumed one of the staff was still down here.”
You find it bemusing that he seems at pains to justify why he might also be in the kitchen, especially to you, a guest. This is Bridgerton House, and he is a Bridgerton. He may go wherever he pleases, surely? And yet here he is, doing so.
“I was rather hoping for some hot cocoa,” he explains with that soft, crooked smile that always makes your heart flutter.
“Oh! Well, umm, I could make you some cocoa?” you look down, wiping your hands upon your apron and moving to do so.
—
That you would make such an offer, as if seeing yourself as unpaid help, spurs him into action.
“No, you certainly will not!” He decries, moving swiftly towards the larder before you can. “I am perfectly fine with some cold milk,” he assures, re-emerges with a bottle and pouring himself a glass, leaning back against the sink to take a sip.
Despite the lateness of the hour, he finds your heretofore secret pastime strangely fascinating. A lady who bakes. By choice. So he watches as you return to making your biscuit dough, entertained as you begin to beat the mixture quite furiously with a wooden spatula.
“Have those ingredients caused you some sort of personal offence….?” he jests lightly, nodding to the bowl.
He observes a flit of contrition across your face before you answer.
“I, umm, have a decision that I must make; baking helps me think,” you explain vaguely, then appear to rapidly change the subject. “I am, however, sure of one fact - some biscuits are a must to accompany milk. There is a completed batch over there.”
“Genius,” he opines with a wink, enthusiastically moving to grab one from the cooling rack you signalled to, delighting in the blush that darkens your cheeks. But he decides to push the topic you abruptly avoided. Concerned there could be a topic you are genuinely wrestling with. If his opinion on the matter can ameliorate your burdens, he would be most honoured to assist.
“What sort of decision must you make?” he inquires before temporarily losing the power of speech. There is an explosion of tart lemon and earthy herb on his tongue that melts into a buttery sweetness, utterly divine. “Lord alive, these are delicious!!!” he exclaims around the mouthful.
“Thank you,” you answer softly.
You are always so modest about your talents; it sometimes makes him want to grab your shoulders and shake you gently. To make you see what he does.
“To answer your question, it is a perplexing matter that needs serious consideration,” you explain, stopping short of detail. It appears you are not yet ready to share the news with him. Something about that makes him a touch sad, but he also does not want to pry if you are reluctant to divulge.
—
Benedict swallows the bite he has taken, and you find yourself staring at the movement of his throat as he does. Knowing one thing to be true—if it were his proposal, you would not even hesitate for a split second. That wistful thought makes you suddenly melancholic, and you sigh, pushing aside your mixing bowl, realising this may be an issue baking will not fix.
“I do so hate to see you doubt yourself, Skylark,” he offers quietly after a beat, mien so earnest. “Trust yourself. You will find the right answer for your dilemma; I am certain of it.”
He is so remarkably supportive that, ironically, you almost want to scream at him.
“I should leave you to your thoughts,” his tone is gentle, reluctant.
“Please, there is no need, Benedict,” you try to assure. “To be honest, in all of this world, yours is the company I enjoy the very most…”
That truth is out of your mouth before you can censor it.
You sheepishly glance over to be met by a surprised look on his face. He takes a few steps towards you, probably without realising it, and suddenly, he is very close, faint wisps of his woodsy, citrus cologne tickling your nose.
“And I, yours, Skylark…” he rumbles, his gaze falling to your lips.
Time seems to stop, and you feel pinned under glass, staring up into his handsome face as he breathes slightly ragged, your body rioting as he engulfs your senses, definitely too close to be considered gentlemanly, polite…
…But then, he takes a sharp inhale and steps back as if coming to his senses. He turns heel with a hastily muttered goodbye, and before you know it, he is gone. Leaving you bewildered, your thoughts scattered.
—
The following day, Benedict is idly reading the paper, partaking in a leisurely lunch of tea and cake, when his mother swans in, reeling off a set of instructions for her lady's maid.
“Oh, and lastly, do not forget, we should secure an appointment with the modiste, in case Miss y/l/n should know her answer today…” Violet concludes breezily as she takes a seat.
“Yet another ball we must suffer, mother?” Benedict drawls drily, folding down his paper and taking a hearty bite of zesty lemon drizzle.
She shoots her son an exasperated look before neatly smoothing a serviette into her lap as she is served her usual afternoon Earl Grey by the butler. “Miss y/l/n will be in need of a wedding dress, Benedict, dear.”
He spits an array of crumbs onto his newspaper, coughing in shock. “She will need what?!?” he wheezes, barely recovering.
“Lord Glassborough proposed to Miss y/l/n last night, my dear, at the ball. She has yet to give her answer, but I am certain she will. They are a fine match,” Violet declares, taking a sip of tea.
“Why did she not mention it to me?” he mutters, more to himself than anyone, his forehead creasing heavily in a frown as he swallows the rest of his mouthful.
“Why would she have?”
“We talked last night…” letting slip perhaps too much in his perplexed state, lost in his own tumbling thoughts.
“When last night? We returned from the ball very late,” a suspicious tone in his mother’s voice, belatedly releasing he should know better than to think aloud; she is sharp as a tack.
“I-I found Miss y/l/n baking last night… in the kitchen when I went for cocoa… she told me she had a dilemma she was wrestling with…” he admits, looking down at the paper, the words now a jumble before his eyes. “Mother do you think it is possible she will say yes??” Benedict's head snaps up, his heart suddenly pounding in his ears.
“She would be a fool not to,” Violet points out, raising a perfectly arched eyebrow at him. “Unless there was another, perhaps more wanted, proposal she could consider. Do you possibly know of one? Son?”
Even he can read between those lines.
“I-I am late,” he abruptly changes tack. “I promised to meet Anthony today to discuss the soil at Aubrey,” he bustles rapidly, standing and fleeing the room before he can allow his mother to see how much of a complete lie that is.
—
Benedict spends the afternoon at White’s, downing perhaps one too many whiskeys as he grills his fellow patrons upon the Glassborough family. Looking for any reason he can find to object to the betrothal while steadfastly refusing to examine why he feels so passionately about the subject. He also spends time checking the hefty tomes of Debrett’s the club holds.
He returns to Bridgerton House just as dusk settles in, the sky streaking red and pink as he enters.
“Where have you been, dear?” Violet asks as he rounds into the parlour.
“Researching,” he gruffs economically.
“What? Or rather whom?” Violet inquires, revealing she already has a firm idea of what she asks.
“I can find nothing wrong with him!”
Benedict paces, an energy emanating from his being as if he is rattled by that very fact.
“That is a good thing, is it not, son?” Violet reminds pointedly. “We want y/n married to a good gentleman…”
Benedict shoots her an exasperated look but relents. “I suppose…”
“Is not your reluctance perhaps for another reason, my dear?” Her question is gentle, if not particularly subtle.
He slumps into a wingback chair with a defeated sigh. “Go ahead. Say your piece, mother.”
“I have watched you, darling,” she begins gently, watching him tip his head back and screw his eyes shut. “I do not know exactly when, but your regard of Miss y/l/n has altered, and I am not the only one to observe it.”
Benedict's eyes fly open, and he tips his head down with a frown as his mother continues.
“Even Colin has marked a change in you. If you feel anything, my dear, then Miss y/l/n has the right to know. Before it is too late. The right to make an informed choice if you are bold enough to give her one. Son, I have only ever wanted my children’s happiness. And if your happiness lies somewhere that perhaps even you have not realised until now…. well then I encourage you to follow it. Follow your heart.”
Her impassioned speech suddenly makes the pieces of a jumbled jigsaw before his eyes arrange into a pattern, a way forward that is suddenly clear and sharply in focus.
It makes him leap to his feet, an urgency thronging in his being.
“Where is Miss y/l/n?” he almost barks.
“I do not know,” Violet confesses, “but I do know she has not yet seen or written to Lord Glassborough,” she adds.
“Good…” he rasps, headed determined out of the room to find you.
—
The verdant lush grass is cool between your toes as you curl them over, sighing heavily, the night now dark, a twinkle of silver among the navy sky, soon to be black. The swing under the big oak, a refuge you have sought many times since staying at Bridgerton House, feels a particularly poignant place to be tonight as an internal war rages within you, your decision swaying back and forth as much as the wooden seat you are perched upon, the rope digging into your cheekbone as you slump against it, flummoxed.
You know what your answer to Glassborough should be. Indeed, what it should have been from the moment he asked.
A resounding yes.
In every practical measure, this is the best possible outcome of your London season. A proposal from a thoroughly decent, acceptable gentleman, way above the station you were expecting, given your less than prestigious certainty of lineage.
And yet.
And yet.
There is a large part of you, your heart, that wants to turn down the proposal, foolhardy as that may be. Wanting to feel akin to what you felt as you danced with Benedict last night. You are not so foolish as to believe he would ever propose, but perhaps there is someone else out there for you that may evoke something similar for you? Even if only half, it would be enough. Enough for you to build a future around and feel contentment in your heart, to not just settle for what your head knows to be a sensible choice.
—
Having searched the house, he rounds into the garden and stops short, heart leaping into his throat as he spies you, swaying gently upon the swing, looking thoroughly lost in thought. It makes his chest ache that you are so melancholic about a decision that should indeed be joyous. The selfish part of him celebrating, hoping that perhaps you are not. His memory recalls with perfect clarity how you have looked as lost as he now feels every time you have been close. The unbearable lightness of hope seizes his legs and draws him inexorably closer.
—
You whip around as you sense company and have to take a deep breath as your eyes fall upon Benedict. His face pinched with a restless intensity.
“I was hoping I would find you,” he exhales.
“You have,” you shrug, still confused by his crackling energy, him seeming in a rush to say something.
“Skylark, you deserve the very best of everything. Sincerely. And part of that includes that you should know the truth in the hearts of those lucky enough to know you…” a slight quake in his voice as he takes a step closer.
“Alright…” you respond cautiously, your brow creasing as you sense the nerves emanating from him.
You gasp as he rapidly drops to one knee before you, a hand clutched to his chest.
“I have been a fool to not see it before now. My own ardent admiration for you, for your talents, for your beauty. I realise now, perhaps too late, that you are truly the most wondrous, precious being in this world. You may not always see it, but it would be my greatest honour to show you, every day, if you will permit me, what I see when I look upon you. What I have always seen if I am honest with myself. A light that shines brighter than any other, a bird that soars higher and sings more sweetly than any other. A soul that it would be a privilege to be bound to. I know it is perhaps the worst possible timing, seeing as you already have a proposal from a perfectly acceptable gentleman. Still, I could not let you get married without letting you know the contents of my heart.”
You are stunned. Speechless.
Your heart pounds in your ribcage as you sit there stupified for what must be an age, Benedict looking upon you expectantly, breath slightly ragged from his long speech. Somehow, convincing yourself this could only be a dream. That the man you have adored since before you can remember has just made the most beautiful poetic confession of love you have ever heard. And it’s to you.
So, you do the only logical thing that comes to mind. Pinch your own leg. Hard.
—
Benedict is momentarily confounded at your actions.
“Owwww!” you yelp. “Not dreaming then…” is your muttered follow-up, rubbing your own knee as his face morphs into the most enormous grin, a lightning bolt of joy tearing through him as he realises what you are doing, that you can scarcely believe this is happening any more than he can.
“It is really me, Skylark,” he chuckles softly, seeing the way your eyes dilate rapidly as he can't help the lopsided grin that claims his face, a warmth behind his ribs that is just for you.
“I realise that now,” you sass back, and there is a stirring in his trousers at the tone you employ.
“I love you.”
It's a reflex; he doesn't even realise he says it. But as soon as it's out of his mouth, it's like an invisible burden has been lifted from his entire being. The truth. Plain. Simple. Honest.
—
You know your face is aflame as you snap back at him, entirely without meaning to, but then he says three little words that tilt your whole world even more.
“I-I-I love you too.”
You are bewildered when you say it aloud.
The truth. Plain. Simple. Honest.
“Marry me? Please. My darling, wonderful friend,” he implores, his bare hands grabbing yours, tingles shooting over you as your skin touches his.
“Yes!! I will!!!” you answer breathlessly, not even a second of hesitation.
He leans in and captures your lips with his. They are warm and soft as they move gently with yours. And when he opens your mouth with his and his tongue rolls delicately over yours, it feels as if all the fireworks you have seen in the sky live now inside you, popping and exploding in a riot of colour. A whole new world of sensual pleasure is promised in that one move.
“Are you certain?” you murmur as you break apart for air, a flash of insecurity that this is happening so fast, even as there is a strong pull inside, a want to keep kissing him over and over.
He smiles, tilting his forehead to yours, a wistful look in his blue eyes.
“To know you, truly know you, is to love you, Skylark,” he sighs, his words a blanket settling over your quaking heart. “And I do. I truly do.”
Benedict taglist: @makaylan @foreverlonginguniverse @notanotheruniverse @iboopedyournose @aintnuthinbutahounddog @severewobblerlightdragon @writergirl-2001 @heeyyyou @enichole445 @enchantedbytomandhenry @ambitionspassionscoffee @chaoticcalzoneranchsports @nikaprincessofkattegat @baebee35 @crowleysqueenofhell @fiction-is-life @lilacbeesworld @broooookiecrisp @queen-of-the-misfit-toys @eleanor-bradstreet @divaanya @musicismyoxygen84 @miindfucked @sorryallonsy @cayt0123 @hottytoddyhistory @fictionalmenloversblog @zinzysstuff @malpalgalz @kinokomoonshine @causeimissu @delehosies @m-rae23 @last-sheep @panhoeofmanyfandoms @kmc1989 @desert-fern @corpseoftrees-queen @magical-spit @bunnyweasley23 @how-many-stars-in-the-sky @sya-skies
#benedict bridgerton fanfiction#benedict bridgerton#benedict bridgerton fluff#benedict bridgerton imagine#bridgerton fanfiction#bridgerton#bridgerton fluff#bridgerton imagine#benedict bridgerton x reader#benedict bridgerton x female reader#benedict bridgerton x you#benedict bridgerton x y/n#bridgerton x reader#bridgerton x female reader#bridgerton x you#bridgerton x y/n#1k notes#2k notes
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Top 23 of 2023
Have you been aching to get your hot little hands on 52 weeks of data around original posts, likes, reblogs, and searches, all weighted and ranked and tied up into categories with a nice little bow on top? Well, today’s your day! It should come as no surprise that Artists on Tumblr reign supreme: from stunning traditional art, jaw-dropping digital art, fanart, sculptures, textile art—you name it, basically—this year’s list shows that Tumblr truly is the home for art and artists. Thank you, Artists on Tumblr, for enriching our dashboards day after day.
Rounding out the top three, we have two iconic shows: Good Omens is live-action, and The Owl House is animated, but both have a heck of a love story at their core. The second season of Good Omens blessed us with not one but two ineffably exquisite ships, while the final season of The Owl House broke and then healed fans’ hearts in equal measure. Thanks, @danaterrace! Actually, come to think of it, the Good Omens finale kinda did the same in reverse. Thanks to you, too, @neil-gaiman! We can’t wait for season 3.
Speaking of heartbreak and healing, Our Flag Means Death’s second season offered both in droves. The entire cast gave stellar performances, and fans couldn’t have been happier to see the kinds of representation the show displayed. Last year’s #1 topic, Stranger Things, may have dropped a bit, but trust us, you wouldn’t know it from the amount of meta, fanart, and fics in the tag. And did you hear about the live-action adaptations of both The Last of Us and One Piece? They were a preeeetty big deal this year, too. Check ‘em out if you haven’t yet (lol, of course you have). And we’d be remiss not to mention the hugely dedicated fans, fanartists, and fic writers devoting their time to all things Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Y’all deserve a little pizza, as a treat.
2023 was also a year for blockbuster movies, which of course hasn’t escaped anybody’s notice here on Tumblr. Barbie smashed box offices worldwide and left us reeling with every re-watch. How can one describe Greta Gerwig’s pink-filled opus? It certainly is one of the movies of all time. Meanwhile, with its incredible animation and soundtrack, Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse introduced us to a whole new multiverse of Spider-People, opening the portal to a veritable flood of incredible OCs. And then, of course, we got a fresh perspective on an old classic when cinephiles introduced Martin Scorscese’s cinematic masterpiece, Goncharov (1973), to a new generation of film aficionados who resoundingly agree that it is, in fact, the greatest mafia movie ever made. We’re so glad this underrated film finally got the acclaim it has long deserved.
In the realms of gaming and tech, the long-anticipated Baldur’s Gate 3 has basically become everyone’s new favorite D&D/dating sim combination. Of course, the Pokémon franchise, games, shows, and Hatsune Miku collabs remain perennial favorites. Elon Musk’s purchase of Twitter, sorry, we mean of course X, made waves across the internet. Similarly, the Reddit blackout drove Redditors to new venues, and Tumblr users welcomed the folks from r/196 with open arms—we’re huge fans of your memes, y’all, and you fit right in. Welcome, we’re glad you enjoy the chaos. Here’s a fun fact: if we included post metadata in Year in Review rankings, #polls, introduced in January of 2023, would have been the #5 topic on Tumblr this year. Phenomenal.
And, oh right. Taylor Swift had kind of a big year, what with the albums, the epic global tour, and the movie and stuff. Fantastic work, @taylorswift, the Swifties on Tumblr thank you for everything.
This is Tumblr’s Year in Review.
Artists on Tumblr
Good Omens
The Owl House
Barbie
Pokémon
Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse
Critical Role
Goncharov
Taylor Swift
Genshin Impact
Stranger Things
The Last of Us
Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Elon Musk
196
Star Wars
Our Flag Means Death
Crowley | Good Omens
LGBTQ
Cottagecore
Baldur's Gate 3
One Piece
Aziraphale | Good Omens
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Eimear Quinn - The Voice 1996
This was the winner of the Eurovision Song Contest 1996, representing Ireland. It was created by Brendan Graham, who had also written and composed "Rock 'n' Roll Kids", the Irish winner from the 1994 contest. The victory was Ireland's seventh contest victory, setting a record for the most contests won by a single country that would only be tied by Sweden in 2023.
Brendan Graham had originally submitted "The Voice" for consideration to represent Ireland in Eurovision via a recording made with another performer. However, after "The Voice" had been advanced to the final for the Irish national round, Graham attended a performance by the Anúna chorale at Christ Church Cathedral in Dublin, where he was struck by the voice of Eimear Quinn. Graham recruited her to perform "The Voice" on the final of the National Song Contest. At Eurovision, "The Voice" was awarded the maximum douze points by seven countries.
Lyrically, "The Voice" is a very Celtic-inspired song, with the singer portraying herself as "the voice" which watches over the world, describing "her" effects on the elements, such as the wind, the seasons, in a similar way to Mother Nature. It is of a folk style and is sung at a very high pitch. Quinn was accompanied by traditional Irish percussion, woodwind and string instruments.
It received a total of 65,2% yes votes!
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Moonflower
Hi my lovelies! I’ve got a Witch H x Witch Y/N piece for you guys!! I hope you’ve enjoyed the spookier stuff, this one is filthy and sweet with a magical vibe 🔮
Check our out Patreon for early access and 200+ exclusive writings
WC- 5.8k
Warnings- magic, rituals, witch stuff, potions that effect arousal and that sort of thing, unprotected sex, spit play if you squint, soul ties, etc
She caught his eye across the fire.
He hung back at the tree line, as most of the men did. The dance dedicated to the moon goddess, Divine Feminine, was performed only by the women in the coven, but the full moon circle ritual was open to all. She should have known he would come crawling out of the shadows eventually.
Her heartbeat was thudding harder in her chest after finding the confirmation he was there. The relationship she shared with Harry had always been a complex one, but it was one she cherished nonetheless.
He tended to stick in his cottage with his books, his spells, the incantations muttered by his deep, raspy voice. A bit of a loner, he was, but a valuable asset to them all. While he wasn’t much for group activities, he was very active in the one-on-one space. specifically seeking Y/N out for potions, practicing with her and somehow finding his way between her thighs. She found herself waiting for those moments, eating them up each and every time. It seemed to get more frequent lately- not that she was complaining.
Harry made her nervous in a good way. He challenged her, made her a better witch. But he was a little hard to read at times. She wasn’t sure where she stood or what their relationship was. All the witch knew was that he had been seeking her out more often, finding his way to get his hands on her and excuses to talk to her whenever he could and she loved every little bit.
His eyes felt hotter than the flames licking the air, the music slowing as the sparks spit up into the sky. The offering was burning in the pit, and she could feel the magic in the air. It was only natural with a bunch of magically incline folks around.
That, and the fact that the women were all fully nude, and the heat of the fire could be felt on bare skin.
As the ritual came to an end, she ignored the feeling of his eyes on her- and the giddiness it was sending towards her stomach- as she stepped back towards her velvet ritual robe. He’d approach her. She could feel it.
Harry’s footsteps would have been almost silent if it hadn’t been for the crisp leaves on the ground for the season. It gave her a chance to know he was coming, though he knew she was aware his eyes were watching as she wrapped the velvet robe around her, the fabric soft and warm against her skin- though not as warm as it should be. His gaze lingered on the way the fabric draped over her curves, the way it pooled at her feet. He could almost smell the scent of her, the mix of chamomile, jasmine and something sweeter, more unique to her alone as he trailed closer to her.
The same song and dance, but it didn’t get old. Not to him. His eyes flicked up to meet hers, holding her gaze for a long moment before he stepped out of the shadows. "Y/N.”
“Harry.” The girl replied, tugging her hair over her shoulder, out from under the robe. The moon lit him from behind, the fire from the front. While people could call him a bit odd, perhaps a bit unfriendly, they couldn’t call him anything but handsome. The man was gorgeous, almost unfairly so. Sometimes she wondered if it was possible he had put an incantation on himself to appeal to her deepest rooted desires in attraction, but it wasn’t possible. At least from her knowledge. It wasn’t a love spell either, because the obsession wasn’t there- but the curiosity was. It always lingered.
Seemingly on both ends.
“I didn’t know you were coming tonight.” She tied the belt around the robe, crossing her arms over her chest. “You didn’t tell me when I went to borrow your book yesterday.”
"Didn't think it was necessary," Harry replied, his voice as smooth and dark as honey dripping off a spoon. He took a step closer to her, the fire casting the most alluring glow on her face. He could see the pulse at the base of her neck quickening, and he knew she wasn't as immune to him as she tried to portray. "Besides, I knew you'd be here. You always are."
“Well, it’s the most important ritual of the year for the women.” She gave him a look. “But you tend to avoid the more social situations. It’s like flipping a coin.” People did sometimes place bets but he didn’t need to know that. “Am I the reason you decided to haul yourself out of your little lair, then?”
Harry chuckled, the sound low and husky, sending a shiver through her despite her best efforts to subdue the reaction. He reached out, brushing a stray lock of hair behind her ear, his fingers lingering against her skin. "Partially," he admitted, his gaze sticking to hers. "But mostly, I just wanted to see you dancing tonight." He stepped closer, his face inches from hers. "You look absolutely divine in the moonlight like that, Y/N."
Seeing her nude, free, moving around so passionately was beautiful. It was something he wanted to see again. She could be a goddess herself if she wanted to be. Sometimes he was highly aware she underestimated her beauty and her power, but this was one of the most glaring moments.
“You’ve seen me naked quite a few times.” She muttered, voice quiet as she raised a brow at him. If he felt the heat on her face she would blame the fire, or the dancing, but it was definitely from him. Y/N was rarely, if ever, flustered by a man- but he managed to be one of the only ones who had her feeling all out of sorts and blushy. “I’ll take it as a compliment, though. There were plenty of naked women here tonight. I’m sure you enjoyed it.”
Harry's lips curled into a smirk at her words, his eyes glinting with mischief and something darker, more primal. "But none of them are you." The witch murmured, his voice soft and intent. He reached out, his fingers trailing down her arm, leaving goosebumps in their wake. "I may have seen you naked before, but it never fails to take my breath away."
“Harry.” She warned softly, turning to the side. It was an open secret, really. People sort of knew that she and Harry fucked, considering she wasn’t able to be quiet when he did, but tonight was different. Tonight was a ritual night, and traditional rules didn’t go.
She knew what he was doing.
“If you wanted to fuck me tonight, you can just say that.” Soon, the forest would be filled with the sounds of pleasure. The people who wanted to go home would disperse and the others would strengthen their bond to the moon, elevating their power through their sexual energy.
Harry's eyes flashed with heat at her blunt words, a low chuckle rumbling in his chest. "Oh, I want to do more than just fuck you tonight, Y/N," he said, his voice a dark purr. He pressed against her , one hand coming to rest on her hip as the other slid up to wrap around her throat, not squeezing, just...there. "I want to worship every inch of your body under the moonlight. But I meant what I said. Not tryin’ t’soften you up.”
Yes. He didn’t want anyone else to do this with Y/N. He wanted her.
“I have to ask, though… Did you bring any of that fun stuff we tried out last month with you?”
Y/N’s body felt a new level of warmth as he pulled her into his body, letting her head fall back to look at him. She knew exactly what he was talking about- and she did.
Realistically, she knew he was going to do this. She hadn’t wanted to get her hopes up, but this was the outcome she’d wanted. Packing the two pink vials into her robe pocket, she’d tried to manifest him showing up so he could be the one to take the potion with her and experience the pleasure she had put into it.
They’d played with it a few times, when she needed to experiment with it. The first time being before she sold it off, she needed to test the batch and… well, Harry was available, and it had been the start to their little arrangement.
“I do have it.” She pulled the vials out of her pocket, letting them clank in her palm. “Is that what you want to take tonight?”
Harry's eyes locked onto the vials, a predatory gleam appearing in their depths. He licked his lips slowly, deliberately. "Mmmm, you read my mind, gorgeous. S’almost like you knew I’d be here for you." His hand slid from her throat to tangle in her hair, tugging her head back further. "I thought you'd never ask." He plucked one of the vials from her palm, holding it up to the moonlight. “Open.”
With a wicked grin, Harry unstoppered the vial and brought it to her lips. Y/N parted her lips, and he slowly tipped the vial, pouring the shimmering, pink-hued potion into her mouth. A few drops spilled over, trailing down her chin and neck, glinting in the moonlight. "Swallow for me, Goddess. Take it down."
She tilted her head back further, her throat working as she swallowed the potion. Harry's eyes were riveted to the movement, his voice growing hoarse. "That's it, almost done with it. You take it so well. Open up for me again." He brought the vial back to her lips, repeating the motion until the vial was empty, the last few drops spilling over her chin and onto her bare breasts.
He tossed the empty vial aside, his focus solely on Y/N. His touch gentled, his fingers trailing down her neck and collarbone, smearing the spilled potion across her skin, letting the residual warm her and spread the sparkle over the expanse for him to lick up later. "You're gonna get messier before this night is over."
Harry took the second vial, his eyes never leaving hers. He brought it to his own lips, tilting his head back and draining it in one long pull. As he swallowed the last drop, a shudder ran through him, his pupils dilating with the rush. "Fuck, that's...intense." He licked his lips, tasting the lingering sweetness. "I can feel it already. My senses are heightened." His head tilted as he looked at her curiously. “Y’did some work on it and didn’t consult me? What a shame.” He clicked his tongue, taking hold of her hand, walking them further back into the trees. “C’mon.”
As they walked, Harry's hand tightened around hers, his grip firm as he squeezed their palms together. Pulling her along, his steps grew surer with each one as the potion took full effect, warming his blood further. The spot he led her to was somewhat secluded, the trees dense around them, moon filtering through the canopy above to cast dappled light upon their faces. He turned to her, his eyes gleaming with desire that had been heightened. The sounds of pleasure had already started out in the other parts of the forest, but he was focused on her as he muttered under his breath. She couldn’t quite make out what he said, but realized quickly as the long grass weaved together out of the thin air that he had cast an enchantment to make the ground softer for them.
Harry turned to face her fully, his expression one of raw, unbridled lust. The potion had ignited his desire to a fever pitch, but the full moon always did have an effect to elevate all emotions. "I can smell your arousal, feel the heat coming off your skin." He stepped closer, backing her up until her back hit a broad tree trunk. His hands found her hips, gripping them over the soft velvet as he pressed his body flush against hers. "I'm going to worship every inch of you tonight, little goddess."
Y/N's breath hitched as her back met the tree, her head tilting back to look up at him. Her body hummed with anticipation, the potion's effects already coursing through her too. Her own desire was amplified, her heart pounding in her chest. Her breath was coming in quick, shallow pants, breasts heaving against his chest. A soft moan escaped her as she squirmed against him, her hands reaching up to grip his broad shoulders.
Her fingers dug into his shoulders, her nails scraping against the skin as she held on for dear life as his pillowy lips pressed sloppy kisses down the expanse of her throat. The simplest action made her stomach churn in the best way, eyes fluttering shut as the tiniest wet drag of his tongue under her jaw had her keening. With a sigh, her head fell back against the tree trunk, the rough bark pressing into her scalp as she arched her back, pressing her breasts against his chest. a started squeak left her as he lifted her with no warning, but held no hesitation with legs wrapping around his waist, ankles locking at the small of his back as she tried to pull him even closer. Her mouth hung open, soft gasps and moans escaping in between desperate little pants.
Harry groaned against her throat, the vibrations rumbling through her as he licked a hot stripe up to her ear. "You taste divine. So fucking good." he growled, nipping at the lobe. His hands slid down to grip her thighs, squeezing the supple flesh as he ground his hips against hers. The heat of his arousal pressed insistently against her core, even through the fabric of his trousers. "It’s time to get this robe off. I want to see this beautiful skin in the moonlight, just for myself.”
With a flick of his wrist, the sash of her robe loosened, the fabric gaping open to reveal the curve of her breasts. A guttural groan left him as he pushed the garment off her shoulders, the material pooling at her waist where her legs were wrapped around him. His head ducked down, his mouth finding her breast, drawing her peaked bud between his lips. He sucked hard, pulling a cry from her.
The potion was a heating crescendo in his veins, every beat of his heart a pounding drum as it coursed through him. Every touch, every scent, every sound was magnified tenfold. The feel of her thighs wrapped around him was an exquisite torture, his body burning to be inside her. His skin was flushed, his breaths coming in deep, heavy inhalations as he tried to draw in more of her breast into his mouth.
His hands trembled as they roamed over her body, fingers digging into her possessively. The potency of the potion had his control slipping, his actions becoming more urgent, more demanding. Hips bucked against her, the hard ridge of his cock pressing against her core through his trousers. He growled against her skin, the sound primal as he fought to maintain his composure. "You're drivin’ me mad.” The husky groan was deep in his throat as fingertips ran up her thigh. Any chill from the night was forgotten as the magic in their veins warmed their blood, the sole focus being on exactly what was poured into the mixture- pleasure.
He took his time with her, his movements languid and deliberate. His hands caressed her skin like she was a precious artifact, thumbs brushing over her ribs before sliding up to cup her breasts. His mouth followed suit, pressing soft, open-mouthed kisses against her flesh, tongue lapping at her like she was the finest fruit he could have picked off the trees in her carefully cultivated yard.
Plucking her from the tree, he gently set her down in the plush grass bed he had conjured so he could worship her slowly, starting at her ankles. He kissed each one, then ran his fingers along her calves, behind her knees, up her thighs. He nuzzled the soft flesh of her belly, his hands skimming her hips and waist. He pressed his face between her breasts, inhaling deeply before placing a kiss to each one. “I’ve been waiting all month for this.” He admitted shamelessly, licking between her tits up towards her neck. The shiver ran through her body as he suckled on the skin at the center of her throat, making her breath hitch. “I think it’s time.”
Y/N felt like she was on fire, every nerve ending lit as his tongue ran over her skin. Her skin tingled every place he touched her, and even where he hadn't, as if his presence alone was enough to set her aflame. Her heart raced in her chest, fluttering like a bird in a cage as his hands and mouth roamed over her body. She could feel the heat pooling between her thighs, her core throbbing with a need that was almost painful. “Harry.” She breathed, fingers finding his hair. “You know better than to tease me this much when we’ve taken a vial…”
His chuckle against her neck was warm and low, the vibrations making her squirm. "I know, little goddess." He murmured, voice sultry. Green eyes darkened as he gazed at her. "But I wanted to savor you." To emphasize his point, he took his time again, trailing kisses down her collarbone, between her breasts, down her soft belly until he was kneeling between her thighs. “Is that so wrong?”
His fingers gently parted her, gaze fixed on her face as he slowly leaned down to taste her. She gasped, back arching as his hot mouth closed over her. His hands gripped her thighs, keeping them spread wide as he devoured her like a man starved. The magic had taken full effect, the only thing on their minds being what could get them closer, what could concoct the most pleasure. He was hungry for it, for her as he spread her open for him, letting the moonlight shadow his features as he looked up at her. The heat of his mouth was overwhelming, and she fisted her hands in his hair, hips bucking against his face. "Harry, do not tease me..." She growled. “You know what I like.”
“Shush, Goddess. I take care of you each time. I don’t want to hear your tongue unless it’s moaning or singing my name.” Dark eyes shot her a look of promise. Harry would take care of her. He always did.
His tongue delved deeper, flicking against her clit as he sucked gently. Adding a finger, he curled it to rub against that special spot inside her as he continued to lap at her pussy. The whine that left her throat was a reward, a pulse in his trousers as he stroked over it. The other hand came up to pinch her nipple, rolling it between his fingers as he worked her open with his mouth. The sound of his eating, the wet slurping noises, filled the night air as he feasted on her.
Her head fell back, a guttural moan escaping her lips as his fingers and tongue worked in tandem to drive her wild. Her hips undulated against his face, seeking more of that delicious friction. One hand fisted in his hair, holding him against her as if afraid he'd stop. The other tangled her fingers in the weaved grass, knuckles pale with how hard she was gripping. "Yes, right there..." She whimpered, thighs trembling around his head. “Your tongue is so good, your fingers- keep fucking me like that, Harry.”
He growled against her, the vibrations making her see stars along with the bright moon in the sky above her as he doubled his efforts. Two fingers pumped in and out of her slick hole, curling to hit that spot inside her. His tongue flicked rapidly over her clit, alternating between broad licks and soft suckling. The hand on her breast slid up to wrap around her throat, squeezing lightly. It was just enough pressure to make her feel owned, possessed by the man between her legs.
He pulled back, staring at her. His green eyes glinted hungrily in the dim moonlight, the mix of spit and her glistening on his chin. “I forgot about how much of a mess you make, little Goddess. I think we should add some more, no?” Harry rasped, pursing his lips to spit right over her cunt. The glob of saliva hit her swollen folds and slid downwards, causing her to shiver as she keened, the hand in his head pushing him towards her again. Leaning back down, his tongue lapped at her, spreading the mess as his digits pumped in and out.
His fingers crooked just right inside her, stroking along that sensitive bundle of nerves as his tongue focused on her clit. He could feel her tightening around his digits, her thighs quivering on either side of his head. "Cum for me, my goddess," Harry growled against her flesh, the vibrations pushing her closer to the edge. "Let me feel this sweet cunt spasm on my tongue so I can fuck you. The moon is so bright, I want you to look right at it as you cum for me.”
The words were her undoing. With a moan that echoed through the night, Y/N's back arched off the ground. Her inner walls clamped down on Harry's fingers, pulsing and squeezing as her orgasm ripped through her. Wave after wave of pleasure crashed over her, her vision whiting out as she stared up at the moon. Harry swallowed her cries, his face buried in her cunt as he lapped up her cream.
The potion amplified her orgasm, making it feel like a tidal wave of warmth crashing over her. Each pulse of her pussy around Harry's fingers sent shockwaves through her entire body, making her toes curl and her back arch even further. The magic in the vial seemed to reach inside her and squeezed her for every drop of pleasure. It felt like her entire world had narrowed down to that one spot, her clit and Harry's fingers the only things that existed.
As her body finally stilled and her breathing attempted returning to normal, Harry slowly pulled his fingers out of her. He licked them clean, a smug smile on his face as he watched her sprawled out on the ground, boneless and sated. He stood up, his movements deliberate as he undid his belt and trousers, shoving them down to pool around his ankles. Her pleasure had always been his driving force, but making her orgasm like that was exactly the thing he needed. His cock had something to show for it, hard and ready, as he stepped out of his clothes.
Y/N sat up, recovering quickly from her intense orgasm- all thanks to the damn potion. It would need to be recreated exactly when she got back to her cottage, saved for occasions like this.
Thank the moon for magic.
She looked at Harry, a sly smile on her face as she reached out to tug him down to the grassy bed beside her. He landed with a soft thud, looking up at her with a raised eyebrow. "My turn." The witch purred, climbing on top of him and straddling his hips. She reached between them, wrapping her hand around his thick shaft and guiding it towards her pussy.
Harry let out a low groan as Y/N's hand squeezed around him, her fingers not quite meeting as she stroked him from root to tip. She positioned him at her entrance, her heat caressing the head of him as she slowly sank down, taking him deep inside her. His head fell back against the grass, his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed hard. He could feel every inch of her as she took him in, her tight heat enveloping him.
The magic coursing through her made every sensation feel magnified and intense, and that was saying something considering sex with Harry without any influence was the best she had. The drag of Harry's prick against her sensitive walls was almost too much to bear. She could feel every ridge and vein, every twitch of him inside her. Her nerve endings were on fire, pleasure sparking through her with each movement. She threw her head back with a moan, her hips starting to roll, riding him with increasing fervor as the magic demanded more.
Watching her ride him, Harry couldn't keep the groan from leaving the back of his throat. Nothing in his life had been more beautiful, more sensual than the witch riding his cock, bathed in moonlight. She was gleaming, nearly glittering as her lust blown eyes peered down at him, nails digging into the inked chest with each roll of her hips. "By the moon, you're fucking beautiful," he rasped, his hands gripping her hips as she set the pace. "Look at you taking me so well, little goddess. You feel amazing." He murmured, his hips lifting to meet hers, driving himself deeper. "I could spend eternity inside you and it still wouldn't be enough. Perfect cunt swallowing me up, hot and precious. I wasn’t going to let you share it with anyone else tonight."
"You're mine," he hissed through gritted teeth as she swiveled her hips, grinding down on him. "No other man gets to feel this. Only me. Say it." His hands squeezed her backside, encouraging her to ride him harder as his own hips thrust up in a matching rhythm. "Say you're only mine, Y/N. Tell me this is just for me."
Their secret little rendezvous had been the best thing to happen to him. Everything he needed, really. Potion or not, his pull towards her was guided and stronger each cycle of the moon and he knew it meant she was his, somehow- some way. They kept it quiet though it was an open secret, but he didn’t want it to be any longer. He wanted the woman to be his.
"I'm yours, Harry. Only yours," Y/N gasped out, her nails raking down his chest as she rode him hard and fast. The magic made her words come true, like a vow sealed in starlight and shadow. "No one else could ever make me feel like this. You're the only one who knows how to touch me, how to make me come undone." Breaths came out in pants as she fucked herself on him, the vibration in her blood making her more desperate for it. She wanted him, wanted him to want her.
Harry's eyes gleamed with triumph and possessiveness as she declared herself his. He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her down onto his chest as he took over the pace, thrusting up into her with deep, powerful strokes. The magic surged, amplifying every movement until it felt like he was fucking her soul, touching bits he had never even dreamt of before. "Swear by the moon. Tell her that you're mine." He growled, his voice muffled against her shoulder. "My little witch, my perfect little goddess- Swear yourself to me, tell the Moon that you’ve chosen your soul bond. I can not pretend the secret meetings are enough. This is all I crave, day in and day out." He pulled his face up to hers, meeting her eyes. “Proclaim it.”
"I... I choose you, Harry," Y/N stammered out, her voice hitching as he drove up into her, the hard ridges of his abs rubbing against her sensitive clit. "By the moon, I choose you. No other... only you. You're my soul bond, my moon and stars. I swear it." The magic thrummed through her veins, sealing her oath.
It all made sense now.
Harry's eyes flashed with dark fire as she swore herself to him. He crushed his mouth to hers, his kiss searing and dominating. His hands gripped her ass tightly, his fingers digging into the soft flesh as he powered into her, his pace growing harder, faster. He growled against her mouth, "Yes... My little goddess. Say it again. Tell me you're mine." The magic pulsed around them, mirroring the rhythm of their bodies.
"I'm yours, Harry," Y/N whimpered out between kisses, her voice breaking as the pleasure consumed her. "I'm yours, forever and always. Only yours." Her body began to shake, her orgasm building to a crescendo as he pounded into her. The moon hung low in the sky, watching over them as they made their sacred vow. Harry's thrusts became erratic, his own release looming as he heard her declare herself his.
"And I am yours, by the light of the moon," Harry declared, his voice flowing out into the night. "Y/N, my witch, my goddess, you are mine and I am yours, now and forever. By the power of the celestial bodies….” He panted, looking up at her with hooded eyes. “By the magic that binds us, I proclaim myself your soul bond, your half, your everything." It was too much. Feeling the beginnings of her orgasm, feeling the soul bond snap into place, finally getting the confirmation that she was his as much as he was hers, it was overwhelming. His body felt every bit of it, pleasure thrumming through him as he broke. Thrusting up into her one last time, he held himself deep as his orgasm ripped through him.
Harry's declaration pushed Y/N over the edge. She threw her head back, her long hair cascading down her back as she cried out his name as the feeling overtook her. Her cunt tightened around him, milking him for all he was worth as her body trembled with pleasure that was unheard of for her, even with the vials. This was something new, something raw and real and she hadn’t even anticipated it feeling this good. But perhaps it wasn’t just the potion, but the man she was with instead. Stars burst behind her eyes, and she could've sworn she heard the moon sing approval as their bond snapped into place, sealing them together.
Harry's arms pulled her down her as she convulsed on top of him, his own body shuddering with aftershocks, holding her to his body to soothe her. He buried his face in the crook of her neck, his hot breath tickling her skin. "My Y/N." He murmured softly, his voice laced with a newfound sense of possession and an underpainting of love. "My moonlit obsession, my forever girl." He kissed her neck gently, his hands stroking her back soothingly.
His gentle touches and murmured words slowly brought Y/N back down to earth, catching her soul before it went too far up to the stars. She sagged against him, her body heavy and sated, her limbs like jelly. He supported her weight effortlessly, his strong arms wrapped protectively around her. "Shh, it's alright, little goddess," he whispered, his voice a hushed rumble against her ear. "I've got you. You're safe.”
Y/N's body continued to tremble slightly in the aftermath, her heart racing. She clutched at Harry, her fingers digging into his shoulders as if he were the only solid thing in a world that had suddenly become liquid and shimmering around her. Tears leaked from the corners of her eyes, not from sadness but from the sheer overwhelming intensity of what she had just experienced.
Harry noticed her trembling and gently wiped away her tears with his thumbs, his touch infinitely tender. He began to press soft kisses all over her face - her forehead, her cheeks, the tip of her nose, her chin, her tear-stained cheeks again. Each kiss was a silent promise, a whispered I love you against her skin. He murmured soothingly, "That's it, my love. Calm. You're alright. I've got you."
Y/N's bleary, tear-streaked smile was the most beautiful thing Harry had ever seen. It was a smile of pure trust, of complete surrender, of utter contentment. They’d been playing cat and mouse for far too long. This had always been their fate. She looked up at him with eyes that shone like the moon herself, her gaze filled with adoration as she looked down at him. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she held him close as if she never wanted to let go, sagging into him as she trailed chaste kisses over his sweat damp neck.
Harry nuzzled into her touch, his eyes fluttering closed as she marked him with her gentle pecks. He turned his head, pulling hers up to capture her lips in a soft, sweet kiss. It was a far cry from the dominant, claiming kiss they had shared earlier. This was a promise, a declaration of love in its purest form. He pulled back slightly, his forehead resting against hers as he looked deep into her eyes. "We're bonded.”
Y/N's eyes widened at his words, a fresh wave of tears spilling down her cheeks, but this time they were tears of joy. She nodded, a shaky smile spreading across her face. "I felt it." she whispered, her voice hoarse with emotion. "It was like... like a piece of my soul clicking into place with yours." She placed a hand over his heart, feeling it beat in sync with her own.
For so long, they had danced around their feelings, afraid to voice them aloud, afraid to ruin the delicate balance of their dynamic. But the magic sent by the moon was meant to bring them together, to force them to confront the truth. And as they sat there, hearts pounding in sync, they both knew that there was no going back. They were meant to be, and the moon had spoken.
"No more dancing around, yeah?" Harry said softly, his thumb brushing over her bottom lip. "No more tiptoeing, no more 'what ifs' and 'maybes'." He leaned in, kissing her deeply, pouring all his unspoken feelings into the kiss. When he pulled back, Y/N was breathless, her eyes dazed. "And I think it goes without saying… M’the only one you’ll be testing these potions with from now on.”
#jarofstyles#harry styles one shot#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles fanfic#harry styles smut#harry writing#harry styles imagine#harry drabble#harry styles blurb#harry styles writing#witch harry#harry styles au#harry styles fanfictions#harry styles one shots#harry fanfic#harry styles fanfics#harry styles fic#harry smut#harry smut one shot
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stars and stripes
ao3 ⋆ main masterlist ⋆ series masterlist
pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader rating: Explicit (18+ only!) warnings: nipple play, novelty underwear, balls, anxiety, democracy, the pledge of allegiance, friendly brotherly contest, alcohol, prelude to oral sex (m! receiving) word count: 5k summary: Roles are reversed this Fourth of July when you surprise Joel with a little festive treat of your own.
A/N: happy 4th of July to folks in the US and happy general election day to my fellow UK pals! If you haven't exercised your right to vote yet, and you're registered, you have until 10pm BST tonight to get to your polling station - as long as you're in line by 10pm, you'll be able to vote. do dress up Joel proud, and go do a democracy.
I make absolutely no apologies for anything in this fic. not a single thing. especially not that thing. tis the season. happy ballidays, pals!
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As it turned out, Joel knew a guy who knew a guy who could fix your AC, and within two days your house was a safe haven from the burgeoning Texas summer.
Easy as that, apparently. Your desperate attempts to call around HVAC companies the week your AC busted seemed stupid now that it was all a matter of simply knowing a guy.
Not that it was all easy. Letting someone else into your house after everything that had gone on suddenly felt scary, and it took Joel promising you he'd dip from his own job for the afternoon to keep an eye on things for you to feel okay with any of it.
But, even that left an odd feeling in the pit of your stomach.
You'd told him to let himself in, though this time you'd given him a key, and that felt like something. For as many times as he'd broken in, and for as long as you'd left your house open and vulnerable - and, by extension, yourself - handing over your spare keys to Joel for the day felt more vulnerable than you'd ever felt with him wandering your house at unknown hours of the day and night.
It felt like something all over again when you handed them over to him the next week too - there was a jammed drawer he wanted to fix, and he said he could get in to see to it before work one day.
Even when you opened the door to him on the nights he didn't have Sarah - his daughter, you'd learned - it felt like something. Especially knowing that that spare key now sat attached to his own, jingling in his pocket each time he walked into your home, invited.
And the more somethings it felt like, the less you felt like figuring it out.
It continued the same way for weeks. Him moving back and forth the short distance between his home and yours, while you stayed safely cocooned in your own, cool, four walls.
Then, barely one month into this officially unofficial something that you were, it was finally time for you to make that short journey down the street to Joel's.
Being honest, the thought of it had terrified you, and you'd almost backed out multiple times.
Not because it was Joel, or Joel's house - at least, that's what you told yourself - but because a "the whole neighborhood is invited, bring snacks or beer" type of Fourth of July party wasn't the kind of way you'd envisioned your first time in Joel's home. You figured maybe it'd be dinner, or a movie, or a quick fuck against the stairs with Joel's balls trussed up in something. Normal things.
Not loud peopley things.
Still, you readjust your top once more, take the briefest of glances in the mirror, and head out the door anyway, nerves be damned. You can totally handle a Fourth of July BBQ at Joel's house.
You think you can all the way up to Joel's driveway, when the nerves come back with a vengeance and you stand there, feeling sick, listening to the sounds of people and music coming from the backyard.
You try to tell yourself it all makes sense. It's a new place, a place that should mean so much because it's his, but try as you might you can't fight back the panic rising as you think of the very many faces that are going to be in this new place too. Familiar faces, faces you'd seen most days as you went about your life down this street you called home, people you'd shared small talk with and said good morning to almost every day as you left for work.
Then there's this stupid outfit you're wearing. The you from weeks ago chose it the very same day you said yes to Joel's invitation, and the you of today didn't have the energy or inclination to think of anything else. Wear whatever, Joel had said, it's just a casual thing. So, you'd gone for casual.
Braless is casual, right?
Not that that was a specific choice, more a necessity. You'd chucked the third bra on the floor in a huff, cursing your shitty outfit choice and lack of bra to fit it, and instead decided to stick on some nipple pasties and be done with it.
All that's done now, and now here you are, still standing like an idiot in the driveway, closer to Joel's home than you have ever been, psyching yourself up to go inside.
With a deep breath of the dry Texas heat, you head for the open back gate, the soft sound of your shoes on the paving stones so loud in your ears as everything wooshes and fizzes in your head.
It's somehow both better and worse than your expectations.
You're immediately greeted by a sea of recognizable faces, the bottle of wine you forgot you were even holding whisked out of your hand and taken inside before you can even get your first round of hello's in. You don't have much of a chance to be nervous, or self conscious, or any of the things you'd worried about being in the days leading up to being here, because there's just so much of everything around you. Noises, smells, people.
Everything, except for Joel. You've not caught a single look at him since you got here - minutes ago - and you wonder if he's even here and not relaxing back at your place on the couch.
Then you see him. At least, you think it's him. His back is to you, locked into conversation so fierce he hasn't noticed the commotion about your entrance.
You think it's him, but you're also certain you don't know of anyone else who would dress head to toe in red, white, and blue candy stripes. The sight of it makes you forget your own outfit worries as a grin forms on your face, and that familiar rumbling of something in the pit of your stomach comes back all over again.
"Not eyein' the very slightly younger model, are you?" comes a gruff voice that has you twisting rapidly on the spot, the smile barely given chance to fall from your face when you spot the actual, real life Joel standing right there next to you, cold beer in hand.
In your own defence, real life Joel isn't dressed much better than the other Joel stood over the other side of the yard. He's probably dressed worse, actually. He's head to toe in stars, all the way from the novelty headband on his head to the flashing star lights clipped to his shoes. It's gaudy, and camp, and so perfectly Joel that the smile that dipped from your face for all of half a second is back, and you're grinning up at him, that feeling in your belly violently boiling away now that he's right there.
"Oh, him?" you say with a wave of your hand. "Nah. He's like a dollar store version of you."
"Really? I'll be sure to tell Tommy he's Dollar Store Joel from now on. He'll love that. Hey, Tommy!" he calls over the yard, before slipping his free hand behind your back. "C'mon. Let me introduce y'all."
He guides you over, hand never leaving the small of your back, touching you out here in front of all these people as if you are actually officially the kind of something that everyone should know about. And maybe you are.
But then, you're looking into familiar friendly eyes, so similar to the ones you've been staring into and dreaming of since Christmas, and watching this familiar strangers face light up so brightly you briefly wonder if his joy is misplaced until he's wrapping his arms around you in a tight hug.
"Shit, he weren't lying," says Tommy as he rocks on his feet with you in his arms before releasing and looking down at you. "You are real."
Before Joel can land a firm whack to Tommy's shoulder, Tommy's pulling you in for another hug, telling you how nice it is to finally meet you, because he's heard all about you, dropping in a few choice words about his asshole brother here and there as he chatters to you, and Joel, and even himself.
At some point, whether it's during the fourth hug or the eighteenth, you're not sure, Joel slips off to grab you a drink, leaving you with his bizarrely dressed brother.
"Ain't never seen him smile so much without Sarah around," he says, the moment Joel's out of earshot, giving you a nudge and another fond smile. "Y'know, I think he might like you."
"Mm, I think I might like him too."
Small talk with Tommy is easy - the man's a talker, if you ever met one. He's a charmer too, and if you met him in a bar you might think he'd be coming on to you with the way he so attentively talks to you, only directing his attention elsewhere for the briefest of moments.
"What's with the outfits?" you eventually ask, with a flick to his striped top hat. "Joel never said it was a dress up party."
"Oh it ain't, this is just a family tradition. Dad always used to dress up in dumb shit for the holidays, make us laugh, and it just sorta stuck. 'Course, added in some friendly competition over the years too, and then this," he says with a dramatic sweep down his body, "was born."
"Competition?"
"Mhm. Joel'll tell you, won't you brother?" Tommy says with a wink over your head before ducking sideways to raid the snack table.
"What am I s'posed to tell you?" he says, handing you your drink, letting his fingers linger near yours and stroke a trail of burning heat gently up your arm before falling back to his pocket.
"The competition."
"S'easy. Stars or stripes," Joel points to himself, decked out in stars and then to his brother where he stands loudly chatting to yet more guests in his candy stripes. "You gotta pick. Most votes, wins."
"I've got to pick?"
"'s the rules, darlin'."
"So you want me to pick between you, or some costumed guy I don't know - a practical stranger?" you say, with a glint in your eye, watching Joel's face drop in faux offence.
"You wouldn't."
"Don't underestimate me, Joel. I think you know exactly what I'm capable of."
Your eyes meet in a silent stalemate, the glint in your eye never leaving as Joel bites at his cheek to hold back a laugh. Tommy was right - you do like Joel, some days too much, and moments like right now, you think maybe it's reciprocated, and you like him just the right amount.
Poking him in the chest, finger pressed to the middle of one of the sea of stars decorating his body, you let yourself break first. "Stars, Joel. I pick stars."
With a roll of his eyes, and a kiss pressed lightning quick to the side of your head, Joel's hand winds back around your back.
"Thank fuck for that. Let's get you a votin' card so you can make that official."
⋆⋆⋆⋆⋆⋆⋆⋆
As the evening draws on, you think you've talked to just about everyone in your street several times over, and then some. It also turns out that Joel and Tommy take their little competition very seriously, and always have, if your neighbors are to be believed.
By the time the votes have been counted and Joel in his star spangled outfit is declared the winner, Tommy has sunk to his knees, his hat toppled off in his despair as he hangs his head in shame.
You're still listening to them bicker as you sneak off to use the bathroom, their voices only disappearing when you've slid the patio door shut and taken your first official step into Joel's house.
"The headband swung it."
"The headband is Sarah's, and your massive skull is breakin' it..."
Even through the mess of the party, you can see that this place is distinctly Joel, with hints of a 10 year old girl dotted around the place. From the pictures on the wall to the cushions on the sofa - mostly a rich navy, but one soft pink nestled in with the blue - through to small ornamental carvings on a side table and the drawings stuck on the refrigerator.
You're looking at one - not a masterpiece by any means, but very decent attempt at a bluebonnet - when the pressure inside the house changes again with the slide of the door.
It's Joel, arms laden with bottles, and the headband flopping forward pathetically on his head. "You snuck off quick," he says, dumping the bottles onto the counter. "Get lost findin' the bathroom?"
"Distracted. Never had chance to sneak around your house looking at your shit before," you quip with a smile, trying to get comfortable with the very uncomfortable thing that brought you two together in the first place.
"Then shoes off. Lemme take you upstairs, give you a little tour, and you can use the bathroom up there. Probably in a better state than the one down here now anyway."
He holds your hand in his all the way up the stairs. That something rears its head again, igniting your palm where it meets his, your brain not registering a single word he says as he points to various doors before dragging you through one, into his bedroom.
His lips are on yours immediately - or yours are on his. You can't quite work out who started it, you just know that you're a tangle as your hands roam each other, biting and licking kisses into each others mouths. His hand finds your ass, and you're moaning as he presses you forward, into him, and the soft lump in his pants. You want to grind yourself against him, but the angle isn't right, and a nagging forgotten thing is worming through your brain when Joel pushes your bodies together once more.
Oh. Right. You remember now.
"Joel - mmph - Joel," you say with urgency through his kisses. He pulls back, searching your face with panic and a pinched brow. "I really gotta pee."
With a kiss to your forehead he lets you go, pushing you toward his ensuite. When you exit a few minutes later, he's exactly where you left him, stood with his hands in his pockets, looking sheepish as he possibly ever could.
"I'm glad you came," he says, looking at you and setting that something off roaring through your body again.
"Me too. I... I've had a nice time."
"Just wanted you to know I didn't invite you here just for, y'know," he says, with a gesture to his bed. "Didn't bring you in here for it either. Just, sorta missed you. Not used to not bein' alone with you. It's weird sharin' you."
You don't want to remind him you've barely left each others sides all night. You don't want to draw too much attention to the something, just in case you scare it away.
"Damn. Got nothing for me? Nothing at all?" you joke instead.
"Got nothin'. Nothin' planned anyway," he says with a look around the room, his eyes focussing briefly on a drawer before flicking back to you.
Really, you should be leaving space between you and Joel. Space for the something to flourish, space that is just enough to not magnetize your body to his, smashing yourselves together and turning the nothing into something. What you should do doesn't have the power to stop your feet from slowly pulling you toward him again though. And it doesn't stop you from putting both your hands on his chest when you finally reach him.
"No? Got no magic tricks up your sleeve? I was hoping for a wand or a rabbit or somethin', you do look like you ran away from the circus."
"I'll have you know this shirt is the finest polyester you can find at Party City."
"Mm, sounds sweaty."
"Like you wouldn't believe."
"So you're sweaty and gross, and you have nothing to wow me with? I'm starting to wonder why you invited me." Which is a lie. You know why, and so does he, and you're glad for it, even if it still frightens you to think about it too much. You suspect he knows an awful lot more about you than you've told him. He's perceptive like that.
"Maybe I'm retractin' your invite."
"You wouldn't."
"No?"
"What if I've got a little something for you instead, am I still invited now?"
Joel's eyes light up and soften all at once, turning so bright and sparkling you think he might cry. It's not exactly that you've never done anything for him in the ways he has for you. When he mentioned his favorite snack, you got some in the house for nights you spend watching a movie before devolving into fucking on the floor. You bought new lingerie, which only ever stayed on if it was too difficult to get out of, and once or twice he'd caught you wearing the heart shaped butt plug before leaping on you and pounding you into whatever surface was nearest, thumb pressing down on the base and making you see stars.
Still, for all you had done, you never swapped positions in the little game you'd been playing with each other for over seven months. Each time, he was the one who came to you with some silly thing or trick or toy to tease you with, and each time you loved it. You hoped he would love this too.
"You do?"
"Mhm," you say as you put some distance between the two of you again. Space to breath, space to move, space to let the something calm back down into the pit of your stomach and curl in on itself like a cat settling down to sleep.
Your let your fingers glide up your body, gently pulling your skirt for a moment before they coast up your belly and reach your shirt, flirting with the hem before curling around it and tugging, letting your tits jiggle behind the fabric.
With a final soft tug, you peel the fabric up your body, the swell of your breasts spilling out the bottom of your top.
"Holy shit, baby," he says, a whisper of a moan on his lips. His eyes have been glued to you, wide and curious, ever since you suggested you may have something for him. And now, they're darting from your chest to your face then back down, taking in the sight of your covered nipples.
You had made some choices earlier today, in your nervous state. Going braless was only one of them. The pasties too, were another. And then, there was the shape. You has flowers, hearts, circles, straight tape and, finally, stars. It was a no brainer when you'd rifled through the packet for two that matched that white stars were the perfect choice for today. It'd only really occured to you when Joel had worn his own stars, that you were perhaps better matched today than you thought, that maybe you could have your own little game with him for once.
"Told you I was all in on the stars."
"Damn right you are," he says as he approaches, his hands finding their place on your waist, itching to move upward. "They don't hurt?"
"They're just pasties, Joel. They're soft. Feel."
And fuck, does he feel. His hands cup you, gently squeezing the softest part of your breast before letting his thumbs dance across where the pucker of your nipple should be. The sensation is muted, infuriatingly muffled by the feel of the pasties covering you.
"S'good?"
"Imagine I stroked your dick over your pants. It's good but it's not the same."
"Damn," he curses, thumbs still gently rubbing over your nipples, watching them slowly come to life and prickling beneath the coverings. "They come off easy?"
"Like a bandaid."
"Shit."
And you just know what he's thinking, because you're thinking it too. There's no real way you can take them off right now and let Joel have his way with your nipples like you're both desperate for, even if time and the swathe of people downstairs wasn't an issue. You have nothing else to cover up with and the soft breeze combined with the cold drinks and the age of some of the guests here means it's probably not a good idea to go without them.
That doesn't stop Joel from kissing you again though, more restrained than he has any right to be with your tits in his hands. You know from his frustrated groan when you bite at his bottom lip that he's two seconds away from telling everyone the parties over, only to come back up here and continue with a party for just two.
To your surprises, he pulls your top back down. Not before kissing one breast, then the other, then back to the first. You know he wants to sink his face into them, but he doesn't let himself, and he rises from his crouch with a groan and pulls you out of the room.
"Don't show Tommy," Joel whispers to you as you make your way back down the stairs. "He'll say the contest was rigged."
"Damn, I was so hoping to show your brother my nipples."
⋆⋆⋆⋆⋆⋆⋆⋆
Joel's eyes keep flicking to your chest for the rest of the night. More than once he drags you away inside, either upstairs or into the garage, just to ask you to show him one more time. If you weren't covered, your nipples would have been rubbed and pinched raw by his eager fingers by now, just as your lips were swollen by his eager mouth.
By the time it's all over, you're positively exhausted, propping yourself up on the arm of a chair and talking to Tommy as Joel waves off the last of the guests and closes the back gate.
You had barely left his side all night, and if anyone had anything to say about it, you hadn't heard it. Neither had Joel. And Tommy, a clever man when he wanted to be, hadn't made a single joke about it either. All in all, it was as much of a successful day than you could hope for, initial nerves aside.
Tommy, continuing to be a clever man, doesn't put up much of a fight when you offer to be the one to stay behind and help clear up. Of course, he's already gone around and collected most of the trash, and put the leftover food inside, but he relents at your insistence he head home - you do only live down the street after all.
Neither you or Joel get much further with the cleaning. Once trash bags are dumped in the garage and you've both washed up, his hands are back under your top, damp fingers cupping your breasts and pulling you back into him.
"Stay?" he asks, as if there was any other ending to this night, as if Tommy hadn't left precisely for this reason.
You barely agree by the time his mouth is latched onto your neck, drawing unrestrained moans out of you right there in the kitchen now that you're finally alone.
His hands, of course, find their way back up to your top, stroking over the edge of the pasties once more.
"You really like 'em, huh?" you ask as his thumb brushes the edge of one, starting to curl and pull the point of one of the stars.
"Like that we match. Feel like you picked 'em for me," he mumbles into your neck, releasing one breast and tucking his hand into the waistband of your skirt. "Like that I've had somethin' to think about, somethin' to play with, even with all these people here."
Fuck, if you haven't liked that too. Letting him play had been one of the highlights of your night so far. Being manhandled into the garage, giggling and pushing Joel as he clasped his hands together in a plea to please see your tits. The souvenir love bite you'd let him suck into your left breast after dragging you back upstairs for a second time. You'd spent half the night flipping between Joels hands and mouth on your tits, to being dragged back out to socialize. Your pussy had given up trying to regulate itself after the third session of Joel's teasing, and you'd spent the rest of the evening wet and waiting.
This is a fact he finds out now, as he slides his hand down over your mound to cup you over your panties. You both let out the same curse as he presses and wiggles his fingers back and forth over you, rubbing your clit over your underwear. You had hoped to peel the pasties off before you fucked him, giving him full access to your nipples for the first time tonight, but you don't think you're going to make it that far, not now his hand is pulling your panties aside, feeling for the slick wetness between your lips and dragging it up, up, up to swirl around your clit.
Not a second later you're scaling the stairs for what you know will be the final time that day, this time you dragging Joel as you both kick of your shoes and stumble up the steps. You already ache from all the standing, and if you have it your way, your legs are going to be shaking and trembling too much for the rest of the night to possibly be of use to you.
With his door pushed open, left wide now the house is empty, you pull yourself back into him, only for him to slip his still wet finger between your lips, letting you taste yourself before he captures your mouth, licking your taste from your own tongue.
Then, your hands find his chest, that ridiculous shirt, and pull at it, tugging the fabric taught to his body, eager to get it off and tumble into his sheets with him.
You were right about how sweaty he'd be under the shirt when you finally get your fingers on the buttons, working your way down until you can pull it off. He's shining underneath it, the dark hair of his body slicked down as you drag your hands up over his chest, to his shoulders and then down to his belt.
He suddenly stops you, pulling your hands away, pressing kiss after kiss to your mouth as he fumbles with the buckle. In a huff, after a few failed, distracted, attempts, he pushes you away and pulls off his belt before unzipping his pants.
Joel has barely tugged them down his legs when you're staring wide eyed, howling with laughter, staring directly at his cock. Only, this time, it stares back.
At least, the bald eagle on the front of his boxers does.
"What are those?"
"Nothin'," Joel says, covering himself and trying to tug his boxers over his erection with one hand still trying to pull off his pants. Grabbing his hands, you stop him, pleading as you tug them away from his crotch.
"Show me."
"Look, s'nothin. Just another stupid thing Tommy got me and I thought it'd be funny but..."
"Sure looks like you got somethin' there for me. All this time you were sayin nothin'. Don't tell me you're getting shy on me now. C'mon. Please."
You pout, trying desperately to get him to give in when you have an idea and you're tugging your top off over your head and throwing it to the side, brandishing your star covered nipples to him once more.
"Pretty please," you say with a small shimmy, and Joel's hand immediately falls away, coming up instead to cover his eyes with a sigh.
It's a sight to behold. Really, it is. The eagle is staring back at you once again, still bolstered by Joel's solid length and the heft of his balls behind it. What you hadn't noticed before is it's sitting on a canvas of United States flag, stars and stripes covering his thighs, his hips, his ass.
"Oh wow. Joel those are -" you cough out a laugh "- those are amazing."
He's rolling his eyes. You can hear it in his voice and see it in his posture. "Yeah, real funny, I know."
"No, I like them. Very festive. And y'know what," you say, cupping his cock right over the eagle print of his boxers as you clear your throat. "I pledge allegiance -"
"No, don't you d-"
"- to these balls -"
"Stop."
"- and the cock they sit under -"
"Oh my god," he says, fighting through a laugh, your fingers squeezing and massaging as you pledge yourself, whole heartedly, to the appendage in your hand.
" - one - uh, cock and balls? Is there even a collective word for cock and balls? - under Joel -"
"It's just gettin' worse."
"- definitely indivisible, no divisible balls here - "
"You're killin' me."
"- say it with me now - with liberty and justice for balls."
You try to keep a straight face as you finish. Really you do. But as Joel's whole body shakes and ripples, his balls jiggling in your hand as laughter wracks through him, you can't help but fall into him, letting yourself be propped up by him as you crumple in on yourself in delight.
"You callin' my balls Liberty and Justice now?" Joel finally says through a laugh.
You slide a finger up the leg of his boxers, pulling gently on them as you stare down at the flag adorning his ass and balls.
"Yep. You're Star Spangled Joel with your side kicks, Liberty and Justice."
You give his balls a little squeeze again as you name them.
"Now that you pledged your allegiance, you gonna keep yappin' or you gonna prove it?"
But it's too late, because you're already sinking to your knees, right there in his bedroom, a place you both know you're going to wake up in the morning, wrapped in each other as the sunlight peeks through the curtains.
"Just try to stop me."
next part
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