#tirf safe

[bullshit-tqia]

Male/female doesn't account for abusive behavior displayed by cis women including the high rates of domestic violence within the lesbian community. Cis women have been very violent and aggressive towards me. I remember a couple cis women tried to hit me for wearing makeup as a man (yes I'm a trans guy). I've tutored plenty of kids where the girls were more aggressive and confrontational than the boys.

I'm starting to think all of this is American bullshit. I've seen MUCH less infighting and radfem bs from the Hispanic trans community. At this point the difference between the Hispanic and American communities is like the difference between magical realism and absurdism. The male/female socialisation, the radfeminism, the baeddelism, the transandrophobia, etc. is so absurd because it's coming from people who view gender as being absurd as opposed to an abstract concept that influences our lives in the form of how we express our identity and how we relate to others.

You’re citing a flawed study, the belief that lesbian relationships are more likely to be abusive is a massive assumption. The statistic is simply whether someone has experienced domestic violence, but not whether if that violent relationship was a lesbian relationship or not. In reality the levels of abuse is congruent with the amount of abuse in heterosexual relationships. The idea that lesbian relationships are “more likely to be abusive” is right wing propaganda that you believed.

Anecdotes are anecdotes. You can’t seriously act like a few examples counteract studies that interview thousands of people and follow them throughout multiple years. That’s silly, and to a certain degree, arrogant.

It largely is “an American problem,” but you don’t understand how it is. In the US you’re going to have more liberal views on trans people and the country is more individualist in nature. This is the same in other western countries, where they’ve had an explosion in the amount of people identifying as trans.

Sure, you can say “well, left-handedness also grew exponentially,” but the fact of the matter is that well…being trans was solely seen as a medical condition for the longest time. A condition will drive someone to seek help for that condition. If being left-handed was seen as a condition, we would also see similar patterns before and after greater societal acceptance because it is a condition that occurs naturally.

And what’s even more ridiculous is that in some studies, around 9% of teens identify as transgender—which is higher than the rate of people who identify as gay! To assume that somehow being transgender is more common than being gay or intersex is so unfounded historically, you have to ask what other things could be causing this increase? At some point, it can be a social contagion—which is why it affects AFAB people so much more, because the patriarchy makes women very, very insecure.

As I put in my last post, the childhoods of transgender men, cishet women, and lesbians are very similar and are not distinct. Meaning that the lived experiences of transgender men aren’t that different from cishet women. If this is the case, a transgender man describing his life will be very relatable to cis women, leading them to believe that perhaps they are trans too. “How else can we feel such similar levels of humiliation about being feminine?”

I realized this when talking to my mother about being trans, as she told me the story of her second wedding, which she did only for my sister and I to have an example of “what love should be.” She HATED her wedding, she hated wearing the dress, she felt humiliated that everyone was looking at her, she wanted to curl up into a ball and disappear. She didn’t want to be caked up in makeup, she didn’t want her feet to hurt while wearing heels…she didn’t want to do any of the performance at all. It would be hard to say that somehow me and my mother are so completely different in how we feel. And science says we’re not.

The fact of the matter is…there is no difference between “non-binary” and gender non-conforming. Yet one identifies as trans and the other doesn’t. Although the fact that the majority of non-binary people transition (the requirement for being trans) and that all human beings on this planet are called by “they” pronouns once in awhile and that none of us 100% align with the ideal of what being a man or woman is. All of us differ from our culture’s understanding of being a man or woman, none of us are perfectly binary in personality or with our physical bodies. All of us are non-binary. To say you’re non-binary is to say that the gender binary actually exists…but it doesn’t. Gender is not the sexes. And even with the sexes there can be some variance between the two most common sexes. It really isn’t representative of reality at all to say that there is a gender binary. The idea of the binary differs from person to person.

My father, for example, thinks white cars are very feminine. This is not a societal trend. Many men drive white cars. It is just my father who sees them as driving a “car for girls” if they drive a white car. My father’s opinion on what makes something feminine or masculine has no impact on greater society. It’s just him who thinks that.

And like with what many trans people say, pronouns ≠ gender. But that logic should be applied to non-binary people as well. Sure, they use they/them pronouns…but pronouns don’t equal gender. Just because you use third person pronouns doesn’t mean you’re non-binary or trans. It’s crazy how inconsistent people are logically. If you don’t plan to transition or you are not transitioning, you are not trans. You are gender nonconforming at the most. You are cisgender.

In other cultures, like the Hispanic community, you’re going to have lower rates of people identifying as trans because transness still retains the idea of it being a condition, not an identity.

“As I suggested previously, the observed relationship between IDV and %NHS probably reflects the combined operation of at least two distinct factors. First, non-homosexual persons probably constitute larger apparent percentages of MtF transsexuals [lesbian trans women] and gender gender dysphoric persons in more individualist societies because these societies place a higher value on individual self-expression (including cross-gender expression), despite the possible socially disruptive consequences of gender transition in men who are typically middle-aged, are often married, and have usually pursued traditionally masculine occupations. Second, homosexual persons probably constitute larger apparent percentages of MtF transsexuals [heterosexual trans women] and gender dysphoric persons in less individualistic (or collectivistic) societies because these societies place a higher value on inclusion and often provide socially approved transgender roles for pervasively feminine, androphilic gender dysphoric men.”

Anne Lawerence, 2010

Per scientific study…a lot of our community are simply cross dressers or gender nonconforming people…

This is why in more collectivist cultures, you aren’t going to find these arguments, because they focus more on social cohesion rather than individualistic expression. High rates of individualism in certain societies cause people to put their own experiences before others, making them less willing to “compromise” with greater society. That’s how we have these arguments, there are so many conflicting experiences and ideas that are held equally as important.

But this idea that “nothing can really be true” and “everything contradicts” is in of itself not true. Logical reasoning and scientific predictability is the truth. Scientists scan statistical responses and make sure you’re not being dishonest and account for the fact that your own interpretation of yourself may be wrong. Which in of itself is a very scary thought to many trans people, who are wholly convinced in their identity.

But this is something that I’ve at least recognized in myself since I was very young and just starting to explore my identity, that I may be wrong about me being trans, and that I shouldn’t bury the doubts I have in my identity and rather I should explore those doubts to make sure I’m making the right decision. I often go back and meditate on this thought and I sift through all the jumbled justifications for my transitioning and try to see just how my body feels in response to the idea of detransitioning. I clench up, I feel discontent, my stomach flips, I detest it. Then I think about continuing my transition and I feel okay. No stomach flipping, I’m relaxed and content.

I never bury my doubts or try to justify my lack of thinking with “well, only someone who really is trans would have these doubts,” because it’s not impossible that someone who isn’t trans would doubt whether they should transition. How do you think we get detransitioners? They began their own journey by doubting what they were doing. It is very possible you are lying to yourself…that you aren’t thinking, that you have never been sure…and if this thought scares you, it should. Because you should be 100% sure whether you actually want to go down this path or not.

Here’s a good segment from an article by Kay Brown, a transgender researcher focused on the science of being trans:

“Question: Are gender identity trajectories and changes in youth-reported gender identity associated with depressive symptoms over time?

Findings: In this cohort study involving 366 sexual and/or gender minority youths (aged 15-21 years), 1 in 5 (18.2%) reported a different gender identity over time. Youths transitioning to a transgender or gender diverse identity reported higher levels of depressive symptoms at baseline; depressive symptoms disparities were explained by exposure to lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender violence, but frequency of gender identity variability was not associated with the level or changes in depressive symptoms.

Meaning: In this study, changes in gender identity were not associated with depressive symptoms, suggesting that gender identity exploration is a normal part of adolescent development for some youths.

Note the deliberate conflation of ‘transgender’ and ‘gender diverse.’

Let’s examine the paper and its data. While having data is always good in some respects, the conflation of gender dysphoric subjects with non-gender-dysphoric ones limits the utility. Further, the lack of important data makes interpretation and fitting it together with previous studies difficult, reducing its utility to the general study of gender dysphoria. Missing from the data are the subjects sexual orientation and if they have actually socially transitioned in any real sense. (After all, suggesting that one is ‘detrans’ would require that they had in fact ‘transitioned’) In Table 1. they list a number of data.

The subjects are grouped into four categories, ‘cis’ (non-trans), always trans/gender diverse (TGD), became TGD, and stopped being TGD (‘desist’/‘detrans’). Looking at the data, knowing that they have conflated gender dysphoric subjects with non-gender dysphoric (transtrenders/non-binary) subjects, can we still gain any data beyond the authors well meaning, but harmful hypothesis? Interestingly, yes, a little, from the text of the paper,

‘While 20 of 32 participants (62.5%) in the TGD group reported hormone use, only 6 of 28 participants (21.4%) in the cisgender to TGD group, and 1 of 32 participants (3.1%) in the TGD to cisgender group had used hormones. Use of puberty blockers was reported by 12 of the 92 participants who identified as noncisgender (ie, binary transgender or genderqueer and nonbinary) during the study; the majority were from the TGD group.’

Diving a bit deeper into a break out of the groups into ‘cis,’ ‘binary trans,’ and non-binary in this graph, we can get a better picture of what is going on.

“Thus, we can see that the three groups may in fact be somewhat correlated with more generally understood and recognized groups, specifically, the TGD group looks to be mostly HSTS/Early-Onset, the ‘cis to TGD’ is likely adolescent onset AGP/AAP mixed with a growing number of “non-binary” TransTrenders, while the TGD to cis group is likely TransTrenders/Tucutes vacilating in their self-declared identies to become ‘desist’/‘detrans.’ Note that the TGD-to-cis group was roughly twice as many female subjects as male, very much in keeping with earlier documentation that “non-binary”, etc. is primarily a female phenomena. The other two groups are roughly equally male and female. Note that the ‘binary transgender’ in the TGD category is stable and the same percentage as the number that is on HRT. From this, we can deduce that the majority of those who are transitioning and obtaining puberty blockers and HRT as teens are HSTS and not AGP/AAP.

While I can’t fault the authors intentions of showing that transsexuals are not mentally ill. I do castigate them for failing to differentiate actual gender dysphoric teens from the social hangers on, the LARPers, who pretend to be. Instruments that fail to explore and use the actual DSM-V criteria are actively harming transsexuals, giving the false impression that teens with gender dysphoria will desist/detrans with time.

No they won’t.”

Kay Brown, “Well Meaning Researchers Are Hurting Hurting Transsexual Medical Access”

Gonzales Real A, Lobato MIR, Russell ST. Trajectories of Gender Identity and Depressive Symptoms in Youths. JAMA Netw Open. 2024;7(5):e2411322. doi:10.1001jamanetworkopen.2024.11322

[neszapper]

sci fi story where there is only 1 set of pronouns that everyone uses bc gender is not a thing and sex is just normal medical info

(its sci fi because gods know we arent getting that kind of paradise in this century)

[mikasasrippedtoenail]

Calling Lesbians' attraction to vaginas a mere genital "preference" erases the sheer violence behind corrective rape of millions of sapphic women. I do not just "dislike" dick, I am physically incapable of being attracted to it. My allure to the female genitilia is not a choice, it's my biological reality. Dismissal of same-sex attraction as a choice reinforces the homophobic ideology that attractions can be altered and also paves the way for discrimination. One cannot opt out of their sexuality, they are always born with it.

[meteorem]

Women don't do makeup, wear skimpy uncomfortable clothing, break their skin barrier with a bunch of useless "skincare products", shave daily, go under the knife, suffer eating disorders and spend an insane amount of money on beauty enhancements for men. They do it for themselves. But the part of themselves that they're doing it for, is the part that grew up in a patriarchal society which tells them that their natural self isn't enough, that makes them embarrassed to show their unaltered appearance to the public, that tells them they're not woman enough if they're not "feminine". They do it for themselves because they've internalized the man made insecurities that have been pushed on them since birth. "I'd do this even if men didn't exist", we say, but that's only true for the society that we are in. If men were to have never existed, we wouldn't feel the need to go to such extremes for beauty in the first place.

[bullshit-tqia]

Exactly, curing gender dysphoria results in mild feelings.

Let us take a look at some reasoning by Blanchard, who argues that SRS is medically necessary for trans people (no, he is not transphobic, he is a scientist):

"Several reviews of the treatment outcome literature have concluded that sex reassignment surgery alleviates emotional distress and improves psychosocial adjustment in transsexuals. Individual studies have examined various areas of functioning. Sex reassignment surgery has been shown to be associated with improvements in psychiatric symptomatology, especially anxiety and depression, with improvements in patients’ love relationships and sex lives, and in their social lives." Blanchard, "The Case for Publicly Funded Transsexual Surgery."

SRS and hormone therapy as a whole improve functioning and alleviate distress. The alleviation of distress does not inherently imply "feel good" feelings, rather it implies neutral feelings, which Blanchard earlier acknowledges:

"The notion that transsexualism is a life-style choice is equally absurd. The 'choices' confronting transsexuals are whether to endure a lifetime of frustration and misery, kill themselves, or risk – and often lose – their families, friends, and jobs in hopes of finding a happier life as the opposite sex. That is hardly analogous to deciding whether to rent an apartment downtown or buy a house in the suburbs." Ibid.

"Happier lives" in this instance implies a life without that suffering. "Happier lives" regarding living downtown or in the suburbs means happiness that could exist with deciding to live in the suburbs or downtown. For trans people, you aren't going to be happy if you decide to not transition, but for living downtown or in the suburbs, you can be happy with either decision. That is the difference. One can enjoy the benefits of living downtown, like being happy that they live close to their favorite coffee shop or seeing the stars at night in the suburbs.

If being transgender was simply a lifestyle choice, there would be no reason to believe that not transitioning would cause people to commit suicide.

Believing that it is a lifestyle choice or that gender euphoria is a genuine feeling, raises some interesting hypotheticals that actually argues against public funding for transgender healthcare:

Fedoroff, "The Case Against Publicly Funded Transsexual Surgery"

If being transgender is just as neutral as something like a nose job for someone who is mildly insecure, then why does the public need to give up some money to make sure this mildly insecure person gets the surgery they want? Why would making someone less insecure be the responsibility of the public and not simply the mildly insecure person's responsibility to do what they want in order to not accept their nose type?

HOWEVER,

Not all trans people are autogynephilic and in many cases, gender euphoria may be mixed up with a feeling of relief from gender dysphoria. This is true in my case.

When I was experimenting with my gender back in 2016 as a 14 year old, as an experiment I put up my long hair in a beanie and went to the supermarket across the road. Rather than feeling euphoric, fuzzy feelings, I felt humiliated. I felt that people were staring at me, trying to figure out what I was, not the feelings of positivity and joy I was led to believe I would feel. When pretending to be a boy online, I wasn't doing it for fun or the love of revealing that I was a girl moments before we would call on teamspeak or skype, but because it felt right. I didn't want to correct them.

But overall, as other studies show, trans men have very similar childhoods to cishet and gay women.

"It is common for heterosexual women also to report tomboyish behavior; this contrasts with heterosexual men [cis men or AGP trans women], who rarely recall sissyish behavior (Blanchard and Freund 1983). The retrospective self-reports of heterosexual, lesbian, and gender-dysphoric women [trans men], therefore, are overall somewhat less distinct than the corresponding self-reports of adult men [trans women vs AGP trans women/cis men]." Clinical Management Of Gender Identity Disorders; Chapter 4: Gender Identity Disorders in Adult Women

However, the childhoods of trans women are very distinct from cis men:

"The childhood behavior of homosexual gender dysphorics [straight trans women], unlike that of heterosexual [lesbian trans women], analloerotic, or bisexual gender dysphorics, closely resembles the DSM-III-R diagnosis of gender identity disorder of childhood, described in Chapter I. As boys, they are unusually deficient in, or afraid of, physical competitiveness: They avoid rough-and-tumble play, are frightened of fistfIghts, and strongly dislike team sports. They prefer to play with girls, to play girls' games, and to play with girls' toys, in particular, Barbie-type dolls." Clinical Management Of Gender Identity Disorders; Chapter 3: Gender Identity Disorders in Adult Men

This ultimately reveals that it is impossible for trans men to be "male socialized," or, have the childhoods of men.

BUT,

To say that all trans women who dress "provocatively" (immodest) are AGPs is simply gender essentialist. Nothing says that wearing miniskirts inherently means that a trans woman is attracted to herself, the same way that a cis woman wearing a miniskirt does not necessarily mean she is attracted to herself. This implication is straight-up dumb.

So..when factoring in the original post...There is a possibility she could be an AGP if and only if she does not identify as heterosexual and that she indeed meant sexual arousal to its truest extent (getting a boner) and not misinterpreting a feeling of relief as sexual arousal.

Twitter link

This explains why a lot of transwomen (not all) like to dress as immodest women.

[wormenjoyer]

all men means all men, including gay men.

[juliesque04]

Every time I enter a "lesbians who don't want to date transwomen" argument and a BISEXUAL person butts in with some stupid shit like "I just don't know why their body matters so much, that's so shallow and superficial, why does it matter??" I feel like lighting up and burning them with the butt of the cigarette.

I'm not a homo for shits and giggles, I'm a homo bc that's my SEXUALITY which is based on SEXUAL ATTRACTION, keyword SEX. I'd be lying if I said I'm lesbian because I'm "just so attracted to the divine essence of the woman gender🥺" like no my brain just likes female bodies.

[sodapopprincess]

“men aren’t allowed to cry” mfs after punching holes in their walls and verbally abusing their girlfriends:

[dumpurloserbf]

[neszapper]

im always so happy when i see my friends go out for a girls night :) like yeah, go get it!!! enjoy yourselves!!! celebrate being a woman and have fun!!! be goofy and be fun!

[grrrlwiththemostcake]

Why does it feel like a lot of people are becoming Christians now??

Like I see a lot of people who were barely religious before then suddenly become religious... WHAT IS HAPPENING

[c10verfem]

cw // possible pedophilia, online grooming, bdsm/kink

I think often about the time I was talking to this 58 years old man on a popular BDSM site earlier this year (May/June).

I asked him about body hair and shaving, he said he liked totally shaven girls and when I asked him why he said it’s because “it reminds him of babies”. I know this guy was probably just a pedophile regardless but it makes me think a bit about men who insist that their female partners must have completely shaven bodies and genitals while keeping their hair. I sometimes wonder if his reasoning is more common than I thought but he was just bold enough to say the quiet part out loud.

[queerism1969]

[gayeilgeoir]

Being a genderqueer radical feminist is the most confusing shit ever.

I don’t consider myself trans, I have gender dysphoria, but transitioning implies I wish to change my gender, I just want to be free of gender. I’m more butch than anything else

I feel like I’m the only one who can acknowledge problems in the trans and radfem communities. I see that acceptance ONLY can cause problems, but I think those problems are highly over exaggerated by reactionary terfs. Select few horrific trans people are often chosen and spread around to represent every trans person.

It’s impossible to address trans topics without nuance. Each trans person is different, making legislation virtually impossible.

[tervencherries]

on a post about abortions being more important of a topic than “male loneliness”:

“feminism is for men too!!” always translates to “feminism is for men” because, for some reason, y’all cannot focus on women’s issues for more than 1 second without immediately thinking about men and their feefeez. the fact that you throw women under the bus is the reason no one respects you. men will say “she’s a good one!!1!” but they don’t mean it in a “she’s a good human” way, they mean it in a “she’s a good fucktoy” way. there is no such thing as a male feminist, so why should women care about men?

[jollykoalabarbarian]