#tired of reading social media
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Mike's posting on Youtube now. If you're a Bendy fan very unhappy with the awful decisions he's been making recently or the way he spoke to his fans.... I would heavily consider making a somewhat civil comment about how fucking annoying his constant stubbornness to keep posting on social media no matter how fucking poorly it goes for him Every Time is, and how just because he's moved to a new platform we aren't going to stop criticizing his actions nor forget how awful he was on Twitter/X
Here's the comment I left, no I wasn't super kind because Mike is rich and a bigot, he'll be fine if I'm a little rough on him. Wonder how long he'll let it stay up lmao.
#batim#batdr#bendy and the dark revival#bendy and the ink machine#batim bendy#bendy and boris in the inky mystery#I am genuinely so tired of this man dear god#please discourage him from using social media in the comments its so tiring to constantly have to worry or hear about the stupid shit#he does and says constantly I was so relieved when he deleted his twitter cause it meant I no longer had to constantly read and then make#a post informing people on what stupid fucking things he said now#also I didnt bring it up in this comment but lmao lol to promise quality to his fans when the graphic novel literally has#coloring mistakes in it like it has multiple what a joke he is#somebody please point that out in the comments Im begging you guys-#ramblez#for the record I wouldnt consider this bullying bc mike is an asshole but also bc#using social media clearly upsets him greatly esp with how he speaks to people on it#its clearly bad for both his mental health and the mental health of the fans or in particular me#for the love of god tell him this is a bad idea
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Does anyone have any tips to help stop yourself from comparing your artwork to others, or equating your value as an artist with likes and reblogs?
I've struggled with this for a while and it's getting old, I don't know how to just shrug it off. Any genuine advice would be nice
#its just bygging me bc i know rationally they dont matter i knoe they dont#but i still feel it in my bones that im not good enough because my work doesnt circulate on platforms#i paint for fun and then i post and i get these feelings and theyre so goddamn annoying#i know to just keep posting anyway and try to enjoy the ride but my Depression Brain is such an asshole#i wish it would be quiet#i never used to feel this way either until likes and reposts/reblogs became so integral to social media#on top of needing commissions to get by while looking for work and attending school soon#idk maybe this is just a vent and ik no one can Fix it that simply#i guess im just speaking 2 the void rn and maybe others feel the same#*bugging#and i really am so grateful just to know anyone likes it or comments on it and reading feedback really really means so much#but i feel like unless im pumping out specific fandom stuff that doesnt really happen#but the negative thoughts and feelings can b rly strong sometimes and im just tired#im sure this is a depression thing too#hoping i can get into therapy thru school but it depends on finances as everything else in this world does 🫠#ill keep going tho#and please if you are someone who does comment or reblog and say something about the work please do not ever stop#it means so much to me and others im positive it does#i see you and i appreciate you so so much#thank you and thank you to anyone who reads or comments some ideas
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I'm just procrastinating work by thinking about the distressing decline of critical thinking and media literacy, but the take "Writing dark content allows people to heal from their own negative experiences," while true enough, also feels like it is missing a critical dimension:
Fiction needs victims because empathy is a learned skill.
Through sympathizing with the plights of fictional characters, upon whom we can safely project ourselves, we learn to identify with the suffering of others in the real world as well, even those with whom we do not share similarities.
Fiction's central function is the recognition and resolution of conflict, an absolutely vital real life skill that requires the ability to resonate with the challenges of those outside our Self.
Our stories need suffering so the real world can have less of it.
#irl stuff#so tired of online literary debates hosted by people who've never read anything but fanfiction#and I say that as a fanfiction author#just thoughts sparked by things on social media#so I can write this instead of grade essays#can't believe we're having to relearn the ancient Greek concept of catharsis 2500 years late
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i think lots of us forget what truly makes art and media so captivating; the ability to he transported into a different point of view, and to view the world from a new perspective, one that you never would've understood had you not stumbled upon the narrative that you're reading. pigeonholing yourself into a genre seems so common nowadays, but media consumption has always been about understanding how other people see the world we live in!!
#I'm saying this bc I'm sooooo tired of recommending a book to someone to have them go#“oh nah I'm a romance reader actually”#“oh I mainly read fantasy”#not saying you shouldn't have a favourite genre obviously not the point!! but I think lots of us fall into this habit#which is aided by the rise of tiktok/social media's love of the Personal Brand#where we don't try to explore new genres and povs#if you don't like the book don't read it! but don't limit your horizons by never picking up something that doesn't neatly fit into your vib#this isn't just tiktok romance girls btw this is also the dark academia girls & the mystery readers#and so much of the fun of reading/watching movies comes from discovering these things that#you didn't know about!!!!#most books and movies that have blown my mind have been completely out of left field#c.txt
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#lately ive felt so unmotivated bruh#it's not new in me because I've been in this state for like three years straight now but come on#brain. give me a break#i need to get stuff done#I'm tired#and it doesn't help that my onky way to distract myself is by using my phone#my mom was right it's the damn phone#but anyway!#lately ive also been kind of inactive here#i just don't feel like using social media#i want to study i want to read i wanna try and write something u know >:#but my procrastinator ass doesn’t let me#so yeah#ranting ig#it didn't help much#but i got it out........#anyways if anyone is wondering about my existence (which I'd be surprised because I'm just pixels on ur phone I'm not real🤨) it's because#i don't feel like posting :p#I'll be back definitely hehe#or maybe not who knows🦧#mysterious#it's 5 am#i don't expect any of this to make sense#i bet there are typos#I'm not correcting them
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sam reid getting a nomination and jacob anderson not getting a nomination is exactly the same as when billy porter was getting nominations for pose but mj rodriguez, the lead, didn't get a nomination until the last season.
#this is why i've been a les hater i knew this would happen#also remember when i think it was brad pitt got nominated for 12 years a slave#and they won a million awards but chiwetel wasn't even In The Conversation. that was insane.#or how asian movies will get nominated but none of the actors will#like it's so tired i'm so tired of this#this show doesn't exist without jacob!!!!#rani makes text posts no one will read#i really do need a social media detox the way everything genuinely pisses me off rn is crazy
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I had someone ask me about 'The World Has Been Changed' tshirts and since I took down all my merch shops here's the print file for free if you wanna print it yourself. donate to a random charity for the tax benefits if you download! or don't! go crazy go wild I don't care!!!!
also I hiked up a ridge and made a cool dragon video that's up as early access on Patreon rn. (I only have one Patreon tier and it costs $3)
ALSO also I'm hosting a Drawpile get-together in my Patreon discord tomorrow night starting at 5pm PST, so if you join to see the dragon video you are free to come to that as well. :) (once ppl join the Patreon discord I don't kick them out even if they stop being patrons btw)
#auropost#and don't feel guilty if you can't do a donation or be a patron or whatever it's just a gesture#and the patreon is just a tip jar really#if you're reading this i'm just glad you're here and it's all good#anyways can you tell i am just bone-deep tired right now#i scrolled thru instagram the other day (mistake) and felt like i was in plato's cave#like holy FUCK none of this is real!!!!!!!! it's ALL just Product Advertisement#perpetually a hair's breadth away from deleting all my social media these days#wanna play with holograms touch grass make art with my friends and that's IT!!!!
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not to hate on non-OP fans who watch just ep 1071 and/or 1072 to check out the hype and make commentaries, but why would you though? you have zero context aside from "toon force", which is the most superficial aspect of this power-up. nor do you have any idea why gear 5 matters so much thematically, how gear 5 affects the political balance in the OP world, how it's reshaped the narrative and re-contextualized so much of what came before, how much it substantiates Luffy's character and character purpose, how many questions and answers it brought about regarding the underlying history of the OP universe, etc. etc. the animation is amazing, of course, but it would've been nothing if the nature and narrative intents of gear 5 hadn't been foreshadowed throughout hundreds of episodes. this was a buildup years in the making on the foundations of 20+ arcs. those are the reasons why fans have been hyped
#one piece#monkey d luffy#gear 5#rant#bc im so SO tired of comparisons from non-fans who watch an ep or a clip and are a-holes about how it's 'overhyped'#my dude my bro it's not for you#this isn't made for you bc you didn't watch or read the animanga#you dont know the story- 'but i followed the play-by-play on social media-' NO THAT'S NOT THE SAME THING#aarrrgh#edit: fixed some typos and made clarifications
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/9637a65be40fa4638d5bc283f1f1796d/481bb2284a164649-00/s540x810/1efb95b8956661dd3bf76adfc813ade113c24f04.jpg)
I’ve never been so obsessed with a character so bad that I literally can’t do anything else I’m like the squidward meme watching SpongeBob frolic outside the window stretching a hand out to all the pretty paintings and animations and comics I see in my head but being unable to feel any motivation for it . If only i could use the energy spent to create 20 kon doodles to sit down and concentrate on a single finished full piece I used to be able to make like 5 page comics what happened to me
#sighs yes before anyone says anything IK it’s probably adhd related 😭#BUT ITS GOTTEN SO BAD I CAN FEEL THE DIFFERENCE IN MY BRAIN HOW DID IT GET WORSE#it’s probably a mix of burnout too but I don’t get tired of drawing ?#it feels like when u get dizzy or change glasses or so#and it’s either everything is wayyy too in focus and you can see literally everything clearly that it hurts ur brain#which doesn’t help given how saturated w information the world is always#and simultaneously somehow everything is blurry or out of focus and I physically have to strain myself to hone in on one thing#I JUST WANNA READ COMICS AND FINISH A DRAWING AND HANDLE WORK AND SCHOOL AND TALK TO MY FRIENDS#ALL IN OME DAY#BUT MY BRAIN IS LIKE. TODAY IS ONLY FOR COMICS. YOU CANT DO ANYTHING ESLE#😫🫶 I’m deleting this later I’m just ranting LMAO#I’m highschool it’s crazy bc I did okay and then honestly i just think my ability to concentrate has deteriorated as the years have gone by#free me!!!#either way I want to lessen my social media and just pick One bc girl I have an Instagram a tumblr and a twitter this is horrible for me .#honestly I’ll probably pick instagram and just post on tumblr when I have art#I already do that#I mean when I have Good art.#IM RAMBLING IDK
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Happy New Year! 🥳🎉
Wishing you another great year with great health and most important of all no back pain nor any office syndrome symptoms 😤🔥
Have happy shumako to brighten your year ❤️💙
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#shumako#I keep missing one social media over the other#new art? what new art?#asdfghh#but srsly tho#last week of the year is always busy with all the social obligatory gatherings#i’m just tired#why am I sleeping at 3 on the first day of the year anyway#if you are reading it this far I wish you another happy new year#WITH NO BACK PAIN#ALSO GOOD SLEEP#AND GOOD FOOD
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tired of being a broken freak
someone come kiss me so i can see if i like it when the person's not being a creep
#not knowing is killing me and ruining enjoyment of any media#its exhausting overanalysing everything#and its not like i have a bestie who would be down to mess about#we dispersed to the four corners of the earth years ago#and now everyone is an acquaintance#adulthood can be exhausting when you're constantly reading between the lines to see that the invite to an event is because you're standing#there and they dont want to be rude rather than direct invite#because if you agree to go they find a way around it like going early or cancelling#and you're like what the fuck is wrong with your vibe that people do this? we get on well socially and at work#but clearly you must be emitting a Broken Signal or something#i just dont think I would WANT to Want like this if i was fully ace#its not even directed at someone#more's the pity#im the only one in my general social network who isnt married or in a relationship and there's nothing for me here#life feels like such a waste of time#and i wasted all weekend doing Nothing#so i feel i cheated myself out of enjoyment onthe one time i got off but there were so many chores and no one to hang with so it was like..#i might as well just lay here and be miserable for two days interspersed with mild chores i have been trying to get to#well its slightly safer than being in town right now there's kids in stolen cars hooning about since last night#fucking annoying and dangerous#meh#everyday blurs into an eternity and death waits for us all im so tired#its just work work work then exercise and feeling shitty and being sad and then staring at the ceiling and work again#also chores#they never end#i could try harder of course#i could actively try to meet people but i don't know what i want ive never had a type in any gender and everyone's taken or terrible#and what if i lead them on for nothing?#its not even a partner really... i just want to know if i can have the feelings of love or a crush and desire the wanting#i feel like i had them before but they went away and i dont know why
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Apparently that's called the 'irresistible force paradox'
#oc f/o#f/o art#fictional other#self shipping#self insert#oc#original character#they're patient with me#also I finally draw Hadri with a different form!#I want to do more with their shape shifting but I haven't made much that turns out well#small vent in tags upcoming if you don't want to read#Feeling bad about posting but I shouldn't just give up#In some way social media isn't for me because I take things too personally#but if I'm going to meet people I have some common ground with I don't know where else I'd look#common ground with something that means something to me#I want to meet people that don't suck to talk to#And actively have things they want to talk to me about that we're both interested in#Tired of being just ears.#I'm talking about my family here not anyone on the site btw#I just wish there were people who wanted to talk in the same way I want to talk#same level of energy I guess#Sorry to vent in silly drawings but it is what it is#Fun fact if you read this far...Hadri would like Evangelion#I don't know why that came to mind today but it makes total sense#They're a deity-like person so religion is interesting and they'd be drawn in by the drama#I honestly don't know how they'd examine media since their setting is basically medieval so Hadri's never really watched anything#Maybe a play?#I'd be nice to know what Hadri would think of things I like#But my tastes are very colorful... watched Ind/go Park for example and have it stuck in my head now#Popp/ playtime and Ind/go Park seem to both be going for fnaf Portal and I am feeling something
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I've just seen someone say that all the people who were fans of good omens (before the allegations came out) were enablers of NG's abuse. Ok.
#I honestly have no words anymore#I'm tired boss#people dumbass takes#it's exhausting#ng#tw neil gaiman#cw neil gaiman#mother of bad takes#the same person is saying they guessed he was capable of multiple SA by reading his social media posts#and that not following NG on social media is no excuse for not having guessed he was an abuser#I need to lie down for a while and digest the fact that apparently right now I'm enabling god knows how many other still unknown abusers#just by being fan of their works and not following them on social media - missing all these sIgNs that this person saw on NG's twitter#heeelp...
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tiny fandom rant
thinking abt how being an Intellectual Brown woman isolates me from fandom experiences bc since i call out orientalism/racism against swana and my people in media that makes me too "anti" but the shit id be into and ship since i was 13 would land me 100ft deep into "proship" territory....
#u see my dilemma?#too proship for the antis and too anti for the proships#i think the entire proship vs anti discourse is stupid anyway just have basic fandom etiquette#of “dont like dont read”#but also feel free to openly criticize media that u consume too bc now media is flawless#also i hate that u can call out smth racist in media but then all the white gays jump you bc u pointed out a flaw in their favorite media#like SHUT UPPPPPP#anyway the islamic symbol appropriation in legend of Zelda ocarina of time for the gerudo sparked this#and also the gerudo being basically desert thieves dressed like bastardized belly dancers like im so tired#and then on twitter i remember seeing a huge thread calling out every instance of orientalism in gacha gaming#and non brown ppl stuck their asses in saying “who cares shut up anti these are good chara designs”#like i hate yall fandom mfs soooooo much u are all so allergic to basic critical thinking#the woes of being an intellectual are so heavy on my beautiful brain and body#also racism DOES show up in your “harmless” fictional media bc EVERY MEDIA CREATED IS INFLUENCED BY POLITICS#WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!!!!#like take a damn university social science class u stupid motherfucker
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tonight I go to bed grateful not to be in my bnha phase right now
#pickle pontificates#oh boy. i see stuff starting to blow up over there right now#i have many feelings and thoughts about that series and the amount of good it did for me cannot be underestimated#but i was starting to get a bit frustrated with it around when the war arc started#and i sort of fizzled out in interest#and i stopped keeping up with the manga around the traitor reveal i think#it's bittersweet because on the one hand i cannot say enough about the good it did me#it influenced my real life and studies and hobbies in kind of a big way#but on the other hand i don't feel great about the direction it went#and I'm glad I didn't have to be disillusioned while i was in the middle of fangirling and fixating and whatever else#I'd also rather not be involved in whatever discourse I keep catching whiffs of#seeing that was always the most exhausting part of trying to scavenge the fandom and i am too tired for that#yeah. i guess I'm just glad i got to spend time with it when i did and also that I'm doing other stuff now#watch me talk about media like it's my ex rofl#not entirely wrong though... pretty sure I have seriously and directly compared reading dungeon meshi to falling in love on here#and that's been the case with other things. i fall fast and i fall hard and then we have a passionate affair for a few months to a year#and then we amicably agree to be friends with benefits forever and I move on to the next one#(at least with stuff I really like)#bnha is more of an ex that I had a great time with who taught me a lot but I'm kinda only stalking them on social media once in a while#and they're sorta expressing some mildly concerning political opinions that I probably should've seen coming#but they really weren't that much of a problem back then so it's not like i could've really done anything about it#(this is totally different from the way i do relationships irl which is that i don't and haven't ever)
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Since leaving Twitter in 2022 my mental health has improved dramatically, and a huge portion of that was because of the sheer volume of "ALL CAPS WE ARE SO FUCKED" being shouted at me at all times. It's therefore really important to me to curate this space to be one that doesn't fear-monger or rage-bait, and for some reason I've just seen a LOT of really dramatic negative posts on my timeline which has gotten to me enough that today I'm dealing with my first big anxiety attack in weeks and I am. Not. Happy. about this remission.
So! I apologize for my contribution to some very stress-inducing conversations, and I will probably start unfollowing or asking people to tag things they post that have a panicky tone to them. Being informed is not the same as being terrified; fear stops us from thinking rationally, makes us more likely to act in extremes to try to 'fix the problem' or worse assume nothing can be done and catastrophize further.
Here's a little graph to help us all remember what we actually can control (and therefore worry about) and what we cannot.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/d3effc5efd3a7058a7b34085b085cd87/2e7d4745e15acb70-34/s540x810/268870aa591f4b41f444cb9b72f02778446ad19a.jpg)
So do what you can, remember that fear helps nobody, and do something nice for yourself today! I will, too.
#mentally exhausted#mental health#us politics#I am not immune to propaganda (social media accounts taking the worst reading possible from a situation and running with it)#please stop signal boosting the tiktok amateurs like they're professionally trained authority on the subject#i am so so so so tired
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