#tiny penis memes

[feralunicorn426]

[beck-a-leck]

Dear men who drive exceptionally and unnecessarily loud cars/trucks/motorcycles,

We get it. Your dick is tiny.

Didn't think this was something you felt proud announcing to the whole world, but good for you I guess. You own that micro penis!

Sincerely,

Everyone.

PS - Literally nobody these days is impressed. We all know it's overcompensation. Please stop shaking our houses every time you feel the need to validate your manhood by harrassing a quiet neighborhood after dark.

[gabessquishytum]

t4t that is also idiot4idiot.

Hob and Dream are both trans men, and they both OBVIOUSLY like each other, but they also both have anxiety about coming out to the other. And that anxiety translates into both of them completely missing obvious hints about the other.

Like, one of them finds pads or tampons at their house and is like "well he has lots of female friends, obviously he's just considerate". One of them sees the other has a "protect trans kids" patch and just "well he's an ally, obviously he's just a good person (that doesn't mean he'll want to date a trans person though)".

The kicker is that when they met, they BOTH had the same "haha, interesting name you got there" reaction and ALSO both were like "oh yeah I chose it myself haha" and STILL NEVER CONNECTED THE DOTS.

Anyway I have no idea who finally figures it out/ comes out first or how it happens, I just know they have a solid minute of doing the spiderman pointing meme. And then they fuck.

Oh I LOVE these idiots. I really really do.

So like. Hob is a very masculine looking person, you know? He's got the beard, the chest hair, he's had some gender affirming surgeries. Yeah, he's a got a little trans flag pin on his messenger bag and yes, Dream has heard him talking about "T" before... but Hob loves tea! That could mean anything! It doesn't mean he's trans, and Dream certainly isn't going to ask. His worst nightmares involve Hob rejecting him or being offended by him, so Dream keeps quiet. He doesn't want to rock the boat.

And... Dream is, pun fully intended, a transmasc dream. He's tall, graceful and muscular in a sort of understated way. Hob is absolutely entirely secure and in love with his own body but there's still a tiny bit of him that looks at Dream and screams GENDER ENVY. He's the most gorgeous man in the world, probably. And listen, just because he pulled his hoodie off and accidentally pulled his t-shirt up too, and Hob thought he maybe saw top surgery scars, doesn't mean anything. There are plenty of reasons for him to have scars there, right?

They're both idiots in love.

It all comes to a head when Hob gets injured in a stupid accident. He ends up somewhat bedbound, and Dream volunteers to help out (he'd do anything for love). The absolute horror of having his crush take him to the bathroom makes Hob wants to cry a bit, and he ends up just blurting out "I don't have a penis" when Dream tries to help him use the toilet. Dream just kind of stares at him for a second and then calmly says... "me neither."

They don't talk about it for a bit.

Dream helps Hob pee and get back into bed, and he's about to head out when Hob kind of whimpers and reaches out for him. So of course Dream crawls into bed beside him and cuddles him in silence for a bit.

And then they both start giggling.

They exchange transition stories. And then they exchange kisses. And eventually they exchange very gentle orgasms. And in between they cant stop laughing about how stupid they both are, and how in love they feel.

(Hob is so mad that he has to wait until he's better before he can get his favourite strap out and use it on Dream. The good news is, Dream has one he can (tenderly) use on Hob in the meantime 😇)

[a-mimic-and-a-jester]

DOIN THE THING WHERE I SPAM THE TERF TAGS WITH DUMB SHIT SO HAHAHAHHSGJGHKJJSHGFGHKD

(I RECCOMEND YOU PARTICIPATE AS WELL)

JUST POSTDUMB SHIT AND TAG IT AS A TEF POST TO RUIN THEIR TAGS!! BELOW IM PASTING ALL THE TAGS- JUST COPY THIS AND PASTE IT INTO TAGS AND ITLL SEPARATE

🟥, ✂️, 🕸️, 🟪⬜🟩,🦎, 🥝, 🦖🦕, 🏁, 🍒

41%

Activism nannies, Actual woman, Adult human female, AFAB trans woman, Agender (as in atheist), Aiden, Autoandrophilia, AAP, Autogynephilia, AGP, Autogynesmile, Autohomoeroticism, AHE

Be kind / be nice, Bio-trans, Blanchard model, Black Pampers, Boxer ceiling, Brave and stunning

Choker, Clocking, Clownfish, COIN, Cotton ceiling

Dildo, Dogs are TERFs, DropTheT, DropTheL, DropTheB

Erasing women

F-L, Febfem

GBTQI+, Gender abolitionist, Gender theory, Gender ideology, Gender-critical feminism, GC, Gender fandom, Gender ideology, Genderfree, Genderist, Gender socialization, Genderspecial, GenderWooWoo, Genital preferences are transphobic, Get your 'gina off of Grindr / Get your muff off of Scruff, Goody, Gynandromorphophilia , GAMP

Handmaid, Handmaiden, Healthy tissue, Homosexual transsexual, HSTS, Horse piss, Hygienic

JKRLadiesLunch

I Love J.K. Rowling, I Stand With Russia, It's okay to be bi

Kweer

Ladydique, LARP, Lesbian erasure, Lesbophobia, LGB, LGBWithoutTheT, Lily

M-S, Male-Exclusionary Radical Feminist / MERF, Male violence, Mixed sex, MtT / FtT (Male to Transsexual / Female to Transsexual), Munchausen syndrome by proxy, Mutilation, My sex is not a costume

Non-affirming therapist

Peak trans, Penis-Exclusionary Radical Feminist, PERF, Pornsick, Pseudo-bisexuality

Quesadilla test / Quesadilla meme

Rapid onset gender dysphoria (ROGD), RespectMySex

Safeguarding, Save women's sports, SCAM, Sex-based rights, Sex is real, SexNotGender, The Staniland Question, STEM-TFm, Steroids, Stonewall Law, Swedish study, Super (prefix) ,Surgical wound

T-Z, TEHM, TERF is a slur, Terfragette, Terven, TheyCallMeTerf, TIM / TIF (Trans Identified Male/Female), Tiny minority of men, Tranorexia, Transage, Trans cult, Trans agenda, Trans industry, Transing, Trans lobby, Trans rights are men's rights, Trans-rights activist (TRA), Transsexual, Transvestigators, Trans widow, Transwoman / Transman, Troon, Trooning Out, TWAW / TMAM

Ultra / non-ultra, Urinary leash, Uterus-haver

Vegan cat

Womanface, WomenWontWheesht, Womyn / Wombyn, WORIADS, Worthy of respect in a democratic society

XX

YWNBAW

[caiusmajor]

for the Director's Cut meme: how about "To Make Clean, To Wipe Away"? I'd love to hear you talk more about Kersh/Bethesda.

Oh man. Putting this under a cut because of the nature of the fic. Fic is here if anyone wants to follow along.

Title: basically this is the dictionary definition of "absterge".

I don't write fic in first person often, but Legion of the Damned has little bits in first person from Kersh's POV, and that was the voice it made sense to me to write this in.

(There's an earlier, unwritten, version of this that is Bethesda's POV and goes more into her upbringing on Eschara; but that didn't seem like what Cody was looking for, so I wrote Kersh's POV instead.)

Bethesda is described as small and scrawny in Legion of the Damned -- I suspect she was undernourished as a kid, and is going through puberty late, at least by 21st century US standards.

"generative organ" -- my answer to the question of what Zachariah Kersh would call his penis. It kind of gestures at "reproductive organ" without actually saying that, because Kersh's reproductive organs are in his chest and neck.

"since I was less than a century old" -- Kersh is an old, old man, even by Space Marine standards.

"donning Dorn's mantle" and "achieving endorphic communion" -- both lovely phrases, both directly from Legion of the Damned.

"no words for this" -- yeah, at least in this fic, Katafalque wrote an entire guide to sadomasochism without once mentioning that it might be sexual. Imperial Fists be like that.

Bethesda in Kersh's bed -- yes, she has a giant crush, but also the poor girl has no privacy. She and her brother and father live all together in a tiny room next to Kersh's. Sometimes sleeping on a stone slab is worth it to get away from your dad and brother for a few hours.

"I dream that I am a man, and I hold my wife in my arms, as a man would." -- Kersh isn't a man, but he is kind of a gentleman, with some traditional ideas about men and women. If lying with Bethesda isn't unthinkable and impossible, then they could only be doing it as a (human) husband and wife, clearly.

"As Scourge, I have my own washroom" -- this is prior to the whole Stigmartyr debacle, so Kersh is still in favor with his chapter and no one has put him in a box yet.

Bethesda's breast-band -- I was imagining something more like a Roman strophium than a modern bra, if that makes sense. Also, given what we know about Bethesda's build, she probably doesn't have a lot going on there, either because of the delayed puberty I mentioned above or just because she's built like that.

"checking to see if I am looking" -- she's flirting SO hard right now.

"but I am capable of shame" -- Cody pointed this one out, and I like the dichotomy of Kersh's nudity being completely unremarkable but Bethesda's being special and private. Usually when a someone is unconcerned about their nudity in front of a servant, the implication is that the servant isn't really a person, but for Kersh it's the reverse -- he's not really a person, but Bethesda is.

"To me, you are a very attractive man." -- Bethesda is trying SO hard.

and it works out for her!

happily ever after, at least until the grimdark catches up with them.

[sunlightandsuffering]

This is the most bizarre ask you’ll see in ages, I’m so sorry in advance. I’m reading Parker and Abbate’s A History of Opera, and the first parts talk a lot about the castrati, a unique type of choir or opera singer famous for their angelic and almost inhuman voice, able to reach sounds impossible for anyone else. And this was because, as you might have guessed by the name, they were castrated as young boys to stop puberty and their voices from breaking and cutting off testosterone. This means they had the full potency of a man, but the vocal abilities of a prepubescent child. The sound was the utmost rage in 17th and 18th century Europe, guys like Farinelli and Caffarelli played for and sometimes with kings, made a huge ass fortune, were disputed by the greatest composers like Handel and Mozart, they were literally the rock stars of their days. Only, like, castrated. We don’t actually know what their voice sounded like since they don’t exist anymore. There are a few recordings from the last living castrato, Moreschi, they are up on YouTube and you should check them out, it’s bizarrely enthralling. But he was a choir singer, not opera trained, he was in his 40s and past his prime, and the recordings are from 1904, so pretty shitty. Anyway I was reading about them and my mind is constantly brainrotting about EM, and I love your size queen au, so somehow the idea came to me.. of raging famous opera singer Eren with this angelic voice, and Mikasa falls in love with him both for his beefy muscles and his voice and how hot he is, except like, he apparently doesn’t have a dick. Ok to be fair the castrati did have the dick itself, but not the testicles, so they were impotent and sterile. This makes Mikasa enormously sad because Eren is fucking hot and he’s giving her attention and she wanted him to pound her to next week but apparently he doesn’t have a dick! Imagine harry stiles himself wanting to fuck fuck you but he doesn’t have a dick Except like the castrati were famous for being good lovers … so… anyways, the plot twist is that Eren does actually have a dick and he’s not a castrato, he’s just a very good, highly trained opera singer who reaches insane levels and when Mikasa os crying to him when they’re alone in his room because he doesn’t have a dick he gets exasperated, brings down his pants like “Mikasa, look at me. Look at me. I have a cock”

another thing I thought was maybe childhood friends EM where Eren was very good singing at church, so his parents raise the possibility of making him a castrato to follow up a successful and rich music career because that’s what Zeke did and he’s fucking successful now, but Mikasa gets sick with the idea. Somehow they lose contact and when they meet again she thinks he’s dickless so she’s trying to resist his advances meanwhile Eren didn’t go through the surgery and is confused as to why Mika is resisting him, like he’s irresistible and rich and famous 🤨

Yeah idk if this ask is for me 😂😂 I feel like half the problem tho is that I simply do not find opera sexy at all lol but the idea of Mikasa thinking Eren has a tiny or no penis is kind of a meme lol it reminds me of switch when he has to convince her that no he does not in fact have a small dick!!

[torahtantra]

The Fall.

What is the serpent? And why is the Apricot Tree at the Center of the Garden? Hint: They have always been there, the penis and the fruit-bearing womb, which reside at the centers of the human body and also of human community, and they always will be.

As we all know, the Parsha is correct, the serpent can be a crafty fellow, so what to do?

3 Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?”

2 The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, 3 but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’”

4 “You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. 5 “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”

-> Important for understanding the rest of the Torah. Death is the opening of the eyes. Every term in the Torah, ever meme and symbol is carefully explained, and what we learn early on must be carried forward. To stone someone to death using the Testimony Stones is to cause the death of a persistent character deficit that is in the way.

Death is the end of delusion or ignorance. When death or capital punishments, the real things, are to be meted out, there is always additional context that explains the rationale.

Otherwise, it is the sole intention of the God of Israel to conserve life on earth and compel it to move forward. This often requires the unpleasantness of the night, the time between moments when we obey the order of things and when we choose to wing it and see what will happen:

6 When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. 

7 Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.

-> We need to talk about the fig leaf aprons that Adam and Eve wore after they gave up their innocence to one another.

The fig tree sheds its leaves in winter, at the end of which, even before the tree is covered with leaves, the paggim ("green figs," Song 2:13) begin to develop in the form of small fruits, which are really tiny flowers covered with a soft skin, and which continue to grow during the summer months.

Hosea (9:10):

“When I found Israel, it was like finding grapes in the desert; when I saw your ancestors,  it was like seeing the early fruit on the fig tree. But when they came to Baal Peor, "The Lord of the Hole" they consecrated themselves to that shameful idol and became as vile as the thing they loved."

Apparently, first ripe figs are not as delicious as those that are overripe and positively burst with flavor at the end of summer. The choice to clothe themselves in fig leaves before God after they engaged in forbidden intercourse shows how naive they truly were:

8 Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. 9 But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?”

10 He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.”

11 And he said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?”

12 The man said, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.”

13 Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?”

The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”

14 So the Lord God said to the serpent, “Because you have done this,

“Cursed are you above all livestock  and all wild animals! You will crawl on your belly and you will eat dust all the days of your life. 15 And I will put enmity  between you and the woman, and between your offspring[j] and hers; he will crush[k] your head, and you will strike his heel.”

16 To the woman he said,

“I will make your pains in childbearing very severe; with painful labor you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.”

17 To Adam he said, “Because you listened to your wife and ate fruit from the tree about which I commanded you, ‘You must not eat from it,’

“Cursed is the ground because of you;   through painful toil you will eat food from it   all the days of your life. 18 It will produce thorns and thistles for you, and you will eat the plants of the field. 19 By the sweat of your brow   you will eat your food until you return to the ground,   since from it you were taken; for dust you are   and to dust you will return.”

20 Adam[l] named his wife Eve,[m] because she would become the mother of all the living.

-> Adam is now livestock. He is one of the animals because he didn't listen to God and properly consider the implications of his words and copulated at the first opportunity. This is the first hint in the Torah men and the animals share characteristics but the man decides which ones are reared (and slaughtered and eaten) by his character and actions.

Eve, the symbiosis between the soil and what is planted in it is vegetarian, and does not consume blood only water. The unity of this water with all that grows in soil is how the generations are born.

Adam's serpent is the eater of dust and the dust is the Mother of us all together they will produce violent and savage men as well as those that can be cropped, whose characters will fruit. With a great deal of effort, Adam and Eve will be able to grow up:

21 The Lord God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them. 22 And the Lord God said, “The man has now become like one of us, knowing good and evil. He must not be allowed to reach out his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat, and live forever.” 

-> Garments- the arts and sciences we learned from God first and then from other persons as mankind developed- clothe the animal nature of man and make him sentient. We transmit what we learn to each other, saving the time and effort needed to restart civilization each time a generation begins.

This includes conveying a healthy sense or humor and rational approach towards intercourse and demonstrated sanity when it is not obtainable...

23 So the Lord God banished him from the Garden of Eden to work the ground from which he had been taken. 

24 After he drove the man out, he placed on the east side[n] of the Garden of Eden cherubim and a flaming sword flashing back and forth to guard the way to the tree of life.

->Only God is permitted to outstretch His hand, from Isaiah 45:

"It is I who made the earth     and created mankind on it. My own hands stretched out the heavens;     I marshaled their starry hosts. 13 I will raise up Cyrus[b] "like the sun" in my righteousness:     I will make all his ways straight. He will rebuild my city     and set my exiles free, but not for a price or reward,     says the Lord Almighty.”

Because the failed to respect God's Hand, Adam and Eve are cast out, then forbidden to return to Eden by two Angels, who happen to be Michael and Gabriel. They show up again in the story of Sodom and Gomorrah for reasons similar to what happened in Eden, a failure to respect God's authority.

Adam and Eve must head East in search of their future as a result:

-> East is the direction of waking up, of maturity. The Cherubim “to draw into the likeness of God” represent "yesterday and tomorrow" guard the Center of the Garden called the Kruvim or the space between.

Two Cherubim also flank the cover of the Ark of the Covenant, two flanked Christ in the Book of Luke during His crucifixion. 

The loss of virginity, also a kind of Kruvim in life, is clearly a kind of waking up. Before we wake up about anything that costs us our innocence we should try being discrete first, as God warned Adam and Eve.

In spite of the fact he told them to, wait, grow up a bit, if you touch that mess over there, you might make a baby...they didn’t listen. Then they had to leave home and take on adult responsibilities before they were completely weaned.

[bittywitches]

I don’t understand how men with small dicks can be misogynistic. Nothing wrong with a teeny willy but i feel like misogynistic men emphasize the power and validity they have over women based on the presence of their peen so it seems to go against their ideologies for their literal manhood to be small

[kimchokejin]

this is about me/my blog i guess

howdy! 🤠 thanks for stopping by. this is a bts hate blog. i reblog a lot of gif sets, memes, text posts, etc. and talk too much in the tags. i don’t really make things aside from what’s already here

most of my personal info is already in my description so i’m honestly not sure what to say lol. i have tag game stuff and posts that resonated with me if you’re just trying to get a ~vibe~ but if you want to know more about me for some reason, feel free to message! sometimes i can take a long time to respond but i do like to talk to people! especially about bts or just music in general

believe it or not i am an adult 😬 so just in case i would like to ask that minors don’t follow/interact. sometimes i say things on here that i don’t think i should say in front of minors and i don’t want to put anyone here (including myself) in an uncomfortable position. thank you for understanding!

also just a heads up that i am white if that informs your decision of whether or not or how to interact. if you are white and reading this and have never heard of white supremacy culture (which is so much more prevalent and sinister than i think a lot of us realize), please check out this website (that blew my mind tbh and i’m just not sure how many people have seen this masterpiece?) and let’s talk about it 😊

ummm this was my result for my bts personality quiz that i am still embarrassed about yet still trying to improve. as you can see i project onto taekook a LOT luv u babes <3

ummmm i also made a bts song ranker

THAT’S_MY_(a few months ago)_OPINIOOOOOOON.gif

a long, unrequested, incomplete but occasionally updated list of things i will NEVER shut up about:

disaster libra jimin

rm drunk tweets

hobi’s (alleged) joints

tae’s espn

jin’s masochism

expensive girl namjoon interviewing pharrell for rolling stone knowing in the back of his mind that expensive girl exists and will never be deleted from the internet

yoongi being THAT fucking funny and no one noticing

namjoon never having some goddamn peace and quiet…ever.

vmin in the rm studio tour vlive

foreheard jin

feral tae

fluffy blonde jimin (my greatest weakness)

jin’s shoulders

namjoon spoiling everything

hobi’s frog doll with the tiny penis

namjoon. like just look at him i'm sorry

jungkook making fun of rrrrap monsta in the year 2021 namtaekook making fun of jimin's dance move in save me in the year 2022

daydream hobi SHORT HAIRED HOBI MORE MV HOSEOK YTC IN BUSAN HOBI

“let the beat in”

alt boy gen z icon jk

happy yoongi :)

lachimolala/carobonara (still)

tae in the glass case (and namjoon’s face)

tae having “just one bite” (and namjoon’s face)

jimin shy dancing

jin setting off fireworks in the morning

vmin sticker betrayal

rm putting rap monster as his legal name

rm insisting his sweatshirt is on right side out when the pockets were literally inside

rm not knowing they’re live

the spanking game

j-hope’s “keep one rolled” shirt J-HOPE’S CONDOM SHIRT

but also the whole keep one rolled/legalize it/heroin trifecta

when rm asked bts what food they liked in america that they couldn’t get in korea

jinmin fart skit

rm saying wow to yoongi’s butt

bts trying to cheat on taped run episodes

jungkook getting caught taking jimin’s tissue

tae pretending to get drunk off a water bottle?

anpanman 180524 (rip namjoon)

“oh hyuuuuung” *finger guns*

SHE SAID SHE SAID SHE SAID SHE’S FROM HAWAII

tata mic

“yeah baby i’m nervous!”

namjoon learning and growing over time <3

the lies behind your eyes fake love cover

the bwl dance set to juice by lizzo

this picture of 2seok

the memetic capabilities of the tragically overlooked bts hybe-sanctioned animated fanfiction universe story app

[the-lonelybarricade]

i know elucien week is a week away but can we have a teeny tiny taste more of the neighbors!elucien fic you’re doing? Solely for education purposes, of course

Awww I'm honored you're excited for my neighbors!elucien! I have three fics planned for next week and this one will come at the end so I haven't been working on it as much as the others. But here's a little more from them!

Elain dropped back into her seat with a sigh, eyes wandering back to the clock. 9:59. In the five months she’d lived in this building, Lucien had never once been late for work. She wondered if his new friend would be throwing a spanner into his otherwise pristine track record.

The numbers shifted at the top of her phone screen, and a message appeared alongside it as though he had been tracking the seconds. Even with no one there to witness, Elain still tried to hide her smile. 10:00. 

Airdrop: “Lucien Vanserra” would like to share a photo.

Pressing her lips together to deter any sound, she brought her phone closer to peer at the details on the preview. Some men might choose to harass women by airdroping them pictures of their penis. Lucien chose memes. Probably because the first time he had done it, she had been so caught off guard that she couldn’t help the laughter that bubbled from her lips.

[inkyquince]

I was in the Hetalia fandom, but I never read character/you fics… I actually wrote my first porn for the LJ Hetalia Kink Meme. I wonder if it still exists. It was back in 2011 so I was in college, but I still couldn’t bring myself to write ‘dick’ or ‘cock’ so I just wrote. Penis. It was so embarrassing.

Like first I was into creepypasta and then hetalia and between the two? I'm happier I was into creepypasta cuz that's still a cool thing to be into today.

Except, I read so much bad smut.

And of all that smut, I had a favourite fic, from creepypasta.

And they exclusively only wrote "member" "staff" "his essence" instead of

C O C K

and i liked that fic so so much...

that i printed out all 40 chapters of it, printed it out and took is on holiday where i had no internet access. and left it on the foot of my bed, with only a tiny bad on top of it to hide it.

[respect-the-fae]

Things that remind me of: Dionysus

When you're drunk and giggling and you probably aren't actually speaking English anymore but you're all warm and fuzzy and about to make some fucking awful decisions but you can't bring yourself to care.

Sparkling water. Idk, Dionysus just seems like the dude who decided "make the water taste like TV static" and I respect that.

When you remember something funny out of nowhere and you're just there, giggling your arse off, and everyone around you looks a little afraid that you're insane but you can't bring yourself to care.

Being wine drunk, which is an entirely different kind of drunk. The kind of drunk where the only reason you don't do something stupid like steal an ambulance or shag your ex is because you can't stop crying over chicken nuggets.

Glow in the dark face paint.

Learning intricate braids to braid your friends hair and weave flowers into it because everyone looks prettier with flowers in their hair.

That moment when you're in a room with your crush(es) and you freeze in place and your brain goes 'dumbass.exe has stopped working' because HOLY FUCKING SHIT THEY'RE SO CUTE AND YOU WANNA KISS THEM AND FEED THEM GRAPES ON A PICNIC BLANKET.

Flirty kisses to the cheek that are too close to the lips to be innocent but too far to count as anything else but a tease.

Vampires. Not the concept of them as a species, just them being hot. No one but our boi Dionysus could look at the original stereotype for a vampire and go "yes but consider: they're hot af and we should all wanna bang them".

Cats. All cats. Big cats, small cats, tiny cats, evil cats, good cats. They just have big Him energy.

Memes. Don't argue with me on this. Memes was the work of Dionysus and his big chaotic sister Eris, and none of you can change my mind.

The Hercules Disney film.

When you break a limb and you get a cast and you let your friends write and draw all over it and you just have to hope they haven't drawn a weirdly anatomically accurate penis on it.

Making your bedroom really cold so it feels like a cuddle when you bundle under your blankets on the bed.

Finding weird places to do your hobbies. Reading under a bed by flashlight. Knitting in a tree. Pressing flowers in the wardrobe. Practising calligraphy by a lake.

Snack stashes.

Tiktok. Dionysus made tiktok, and you cannot convince me otherwise.

When your friend is sad so you buy 3 bottles of wine and get some takeout. And you stuff your faces while watching Legally Blonde and swearing at Warner.

Pasta bowties.

Hope you like this one! I'm not sure why you like them in the first place tbh but if you want more of my dumbass thoughts on deities, I shall happily oblige.

Next will be Ares! My patron!

[gromit-we-forgot-the-crackers]

would it be inappropriate to spread the rumor that neo-nazis all have tiny dicks,

[thisisbutts]

Muses and Rules

Muses

Coco Bandicoot - Crash Bandicoot remake Yaya Panda

Dixie and Tiny Kong

Ankha - Animal Crossing

Helluva boss Millie, Verosika, Loona.

Gravity Falls Mabel and Pacifica

BNHA Ochaco Uraraka, Tsuyu Asui, Himiko Toga, Manami Aiba

LoZ Zelda - BoTW, Princess Ruto- OoT, Midna - Twilight Princess, Saria - OoT, Romani and Cremia - Majora’s Mask

Pokemon May, Dawn,Rosa, Mallow, Lillie, Lana, Liko, Gloria, Nemona, Penny, Kirlia, Vileplume, Houndoom, Wooloo, Mawile, Lopunny, Scorbunny, Plusle and Minun. Assorted random male mons.

MLP Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle, Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom and Scootaloo, Sunset Shimmer. Assorted males.

Sonic Verse Amy, Vanilla and Cream, Rouge, Sally, Tikal.

League Verse Poppy, Tristana, Lulu and Vex.

RWBY Ruby, Weiss, Blake and Yang

Overlord Albedo, Shalltear, Aura

Misc Squirrel Girl, Amanda O’Neill, Ty Lee, Violet Parr, Star and Jackie Lynn Thomas, Peni Parker, Miko Kobuta, Nagatoro, Rayla, Gadget Hackwrench.

Rules Specify muse in ask, there’s a lot of them. Also who your muse is. RPs will almost be mutuals only.

Not wanted Kinks Vore, scat, watersports, diaper. Toilet play or something along those lines. No giant or mini stuff either. No traps/femboys. No bimbo fixation. No Futa. No real people muses, icons or face claims. 

Would prefer some asks with some descriptions. Will try to avoid replying to single lines responses.

Also as anon, you can give them a name/race or describe them a bit so I know a little more than just a blank face fucking my muses.

Make sure you add if there is some pre-existing relationship between muses or else the random people that aren’t canon are strangers.

I’d rather have rps, anon rps, and ask memes. Asks with ‘does x likes to do y’ or something like this, it bores me.

Also don’t reply to a post, if you want to get in touch, an ask is the best way or IM.

And please, don’t just ask “rp?”

[bisluthq]

Calvin's jelousy was also why the "she was ready to risk it all" meme with Sean Opry in the 1989 WT was SO funny, like he was blocking people left and right because of a joke lmao

It’s genuinely impressive how his energy is sooooo tiny penis and his dick is actually so big. Like you’d imagine it’d correlate at least a BIT but like no he is so pathetic and yet has such a huge cock. Genuinely what a waste of a big dick.

[itsjuliak5]

Some more Youtubers that are really cool and great, since we could all use that right now👍

{Here’s the first part I did, too.}

Let Me Explain - Does entertaining and in depth movie reviews. He’s funny and clearly has a lot of passion about film. His videos also include fun animations!

Swell Entertainment - She does a lot of insightful and entertaining commentary videos on a variety of subjects. She also does reviews on different products and TV shows along with movies. She also has a calming and relatable personality.

Film Theory / Game Theory - Their theories on movies and video games are so entertaining and well researched, as well as, well animated. I’ve never played Five Nights at Freddy’s, but I have consistently watched every single episode of their FNAF series (RIP to MatPat’s sanity).

GrayStillPlays - He plays a bunch of dumb video games and makes it super fun. He also plays a bunch of classic games like the Sims, badly, on purpose and just makes it super chaotic, which is a lot of fun to watch. 

Grace Report - Grace does in depth reviews of reality TV shows like “Teen Mom” and “90 Day Fiancée” along with other guilty pleasure reality shows, in a way that you don’t actually have to watch the shows yourself and give those trash people money and views. She also covers the drama that goes on behind the scenes of these shows and she has such a lovely personality that is very engaging to watch. 

Kendall Rae - Kendall does a lot of true crime and true crime mystery videos that help bring awareness to certain cases like the recent case of the Vallow children or the past Madeleine McCann case. She helps bring awareness to several issues that go on in the world like human trafficking and does a lot of fundraising for various charities that help protect vulnerable people like Thorn. Despite the heavy topics she covers, she has an awesome and easy going personality that is fun to watch.

Dylan Is In Trouble - Dylan does a lot of movie commentary videos on his channel and occasionally TV show reviews. They are a lot of fun to watch and he tries to do a bunch of different movies all the time. He’s very passionate about movies and books and it shows. He has a very fun personality to watch! {Don’t recommend stuff for him to watch tho, it gets overwhelming}

Mama Doctor Jones - Mama Doctor Jones is an OB/GYN that also does reaction videos to various medical dramas. She goes over a lot of issues that women may face without making awkward and/or uncomfortable. She is an inclusive queen that discusses a range of reproductive issues including trans health related questions.

Lucas and Jacob Cruikshank - Yes, Lucas is the guy that played FRED from ancient YouTube days. His content now is super funny and entertaining that mainly consists of him reacting to cringy TV shows and movies, or video games. Jacob is his brother who has his own channel, but they collab a lot together since they’re brothers. They’re both really funny to watch!

Corridor Crew - They are a group of special effects artists on YouTube that are super talented and passionate about their profession. They have a series where they react to special effects in movies, both good and bad ones. They also do videos where they react to good and bad stunt work in movies and sometimes they have special guests come on for both series like the stunt double for Chadwick Boseman in “Black Panther.” 

Cody Ko - First of all, Vine legend. Second, he’s really funny and his videos have made me snort with laughter before. Also he’s actually really smart and graduated from Duke University with a master’s degree so good for him, our short king. The “That’s Cringe” series he does with Noel is iconic and hilarious

Noel Miller - Also a Vine legend (it’s ya boy, skinny penis!). King of roasts, I’d honestly be both terrified and honored to get roasted by him. The series “Thirsty Tweets” that he does with his friends Cody and Spock is also super funny. Noel and Cody also have a podcast called “Tiny Meat Gang.”

Buzzfeed Unsolved / Watcher - Shane and Ryan are two of the funniest people on the internet in my opinion. If you love spooky stuff, supernatural stuff, and true crime, you will love their multiple series on Buzzfeed Unsolved. They also have their own channel and company now called Watcher with their friend where they do more spooky stuff, as well as other fun things like making their own custom soda.

Sim Mallec - This channel posts a lot of funny meme videos and crack videos about various TV shows and movies. I found them through their Riverdale videos, which are absolutely hysterical and can definitely provide you with a few laughs if you need them.