#tiny bit of magnus angst

[in1-nutshell]

I have a really dumb idea for Fearless.  Getaway happens, again.  The crew is trapped on the necroplanet with six hours before the djd comes knocking down the door.  When Megatron goes off to talk to Tarn, Fearless follows because why the fuck not.  Maybe they make their presence known the moment that Megatron offers to exchange himself for everyone elses safety with a loud objection.  Maybe they wait until a fight starts and Megatron gets the shit beat outta him to try and (fail) stop Tarn.  Either way I want the angst to the max.  Tarn taunting Megs for his hypocrisy, from wiping out organic planets by the dozen to practically begging for Tarn not to hurt Fearless.

Side note, not sure how this would fit into the angst but I'm laughing at the idea of Tarn having an almost a one-sided rivalry with Fearless because he went from being Megatron’s favorite student to second to a tiny fleshling.

Instant Angst coming right up!

Hope you enjoy!

Fearless VS Tarn

SFW, Platonic, ANGST, Familial, mention of wounds and some injuries, nothing too graphic, Human reader

MTMTE

Fearless wanted to go on the planetary mission with the Rod Squad.

But Megatron simple said no.

So, they tried asking Magnus, with a report too!

Still no.

They even went to Rodimus to ask to go.

Even he said no!

Fearless already was processing a sick note for the Co-captain when they saw the squad leaving.

They quickly got into their battle suit (similar to Verity’s in Last Stand of the Wrecker’s) and hopped into one of the larger med kits.

Getaway transmission inside the Necrobot’s dome. Getaway: “And now Rodimus what are you going to do? The entire crew on this ship voted mutiny. All you bots will die like pathetic fools along side Megatron. I’ll make sure to say something to Fearless for you.” Rodimus: “I swear if you lay a digit on them—” CLICK! The call had declined. Rodimus looked stressed while Megatron looked like he was going to have a stroke. Everyone who heard suddenly got worried about their little human on the ship. It wasn’t any news about Getaway behaving certain ways around organics, especially after the incident. Megatron clenching his servos. TAP! TAP! One of the larger med kits Swerve had brought in suddenly moved. Swerve: “Oh great! The med kits are possessed now!” The tap opens and Fearless pops their head out. Fearless: “Who was carrying the medkits!? I swear I nearly lost my lunch—what’s everyone looking at? Did someone die?” Megatron looks like he is about to faint. Magnus sure did. Megatron: “WHY ARE YOU HERE!?” Fearless puts their hands up in surrender. Whirl: “Megs I think you need to get your priorities checked. This is great!” Megatron: “And pray tell why having one of the most vulnerable crew members on the ship, well what’s left of the original crew, here in the same place we are going to get slaughtered by the DJD is great!?” Fearless: “…what in the world did I miss…”

Fearless wordlessly as Megatron explained their situation.

By the end of it they swore they were going to kick Getaway’s tin can so far, he would be forever drifting in space.

The small human had never met the DJD in their life.

They heard stories about the group from other bots around the ship, but it was almost like they were too scared to even speak their names.

They tried one time talking to Megatron about them, it earned them a weeklong silent treatment.

To Fearless, they were more bad guys that had made their family miserable and deathly afraid of.

They didn’t truly know what DJD did.

Fearless decided to make themselves a bit useful and tried to help more panicy bots calm down.

Apparently, it helped the bots calm down when they held/petted/cuddled them close, and they were going to bare it for their sakes.

They noticed that some bots were going to need more durable things to hold and fidget with.

Thankfully they spotted a couple of loose bolts inside a bright pink scooter.

Too bad that the scooter started up knocking them out for a bit.

When Fearless eventually comes out of their ‘nap’ they immediately open up the compartment and sees a bunch of blue flowers.

They hop off and see Megatron standing in front of a statue… of himself?

Suddenly a new bot came out of nowhere and transformed in front of Megatron.

They glared at the mysterious mech.

Something was wrong.

Something was definitely wrong…

The human’s eyes nearly popped out of their skull when they heard Megatron address Tarn about surrendering to keep the crew safe.

What was this!?!?

They were still processing what Megatron had said when Tarn started beating him up.

Fearless was ready to see Megatron completely annihilate his metal behind.

They just stared in horror seeing their father figure not even attempting to defend himself.

The tiny human was FURIOUS!

Fearless runs, jumps on Megatron’s chassis, raises their blasters up at the purple Con with fire in their eyes. Fearless: “GET AWAY FROM HIM!” Megatron feels his spark stop seeing Fearless on his chassis YELLING at TARN! Tarn was surprised to see a human DEFENDING Megatron. Tarn: “What is this? Oh, I see. You truly have changed Megatron. From making every organic life form quake in your presence, to having to rely on them to fight your battles?” Tarn laughs as he takes a step forward. Fearless readies their blasters. Fearless: “I’m warning you! Stay away from us!” Tarn: “Ha! What is the little organic going to do? I am Tarn! Leader of the Decepticon Justice Division! Megatron’s chosen one!” Fearless: “You sure about that? Cause last time I checked my names on the adoption papers and not yours.” Tarn is in a slight stuttering mess, not expecting to hear that comment. Megatron tries to move his servo but can’t: “Fearless don’t provoke him!” Tarn: “You are a peculiar organic, aren’t you? Sadly, you won’t be remembered.” Fearless glares at Tarn. Fearless: “I’m not going to repeat myself Tarn, but I’ll do it for you so your tiny processor can comprehend. Stay away from us or I WILL—” Tarn: “What are you going to do? Blast me in the face?” Fearless with a determined smile: “Yes.” BLAST! Fearless had indeed blasted Tarn in the face, then proceeded to JUMP on his chassis and started punching and shooting. Tarn was too startled to properly think what was going on as the human started climbing and tearing parts of his armor. Fearless looks behind them and straight at Megatron. They had a desperate look on their face. Fearless: “GO!”

Megatron laid down on the floor for a couple of seconds stunned at what his organic child had just done.

He scrambled up and attempted to get Fearless.

Sadly, Tarn had gotten to his senses and grabbed Fearless harshly.

The leader of the DJD’s armor was dented and some holes sprinkled around.

Fearless had a scowl on their face and thrashed around in his clenched servo.

Tarn just flexed his digits and made Fearless stop and gasped hearing something snap.

That’s not good…

Megatron yelled at him to spar Fearless.

Tarn felt disgusted… and a bit jealous.

How come Megatron cared so much about his puny organic when he had him!?

Tarn sadistically laughed and threw Fearless into his subspace.

Megatron was about to demand Fearless back again when Overlord suddenly descended from the sky and demanded Tarn to hand Megatron over so he could terminate him.

Megatron slipped away with a heavy spark to the dome.

When he returned to the crew, Megatron told them what happened and who had taken Fearless.

Whirl was about to exit the dome at that same second if Cyclonus and Magnus hadn’t tackled him down.

Rodimus did his best to calm the crew, despite the sinking pit in his tank.

Everyone knew the chances Fearless had alone with Tarn.

They were slim to nonexistent.

Meanwhile, Tarn had just arrived with the rest of his group.

He opened his subspace and carelessly tossed the human aside.

Fearless yelped when they landed on one of their legs.

Another snap.

Oh, if Ratchet ever found out about this…

Well good news was that he wasn’t even here… yeah… good news…

Tarn just gave them a simple order to stay put.

He wanted to destroy them in front of Megatron.

No one else was to touch them under his orders.

A silver lining, now all they needed to do was figure out a way to get back to the crew and not die in the process.

Just two things.

While Fearless was starting to worry about the shortness of breath and hot/cold flashes they were feeling, they barely noticed much of the battle happening around them.

It wasn’t until Tarn and most of his group had gone to personally fight that Fearless realize that they had been left in the ��care’ of the light blue minibot that had been giving them the stink eye since they snapped their leg.

Suddenly the minibot told them that she didn’t see them escape before head to Deathsaurus.

Fealess suddenly realized they had no one guarding them.

They yelped and grunted as they tried getting up.

Thankfully they didn’t need to stand up for too long thanks to a familiar looking felicon racing to them.

Ravage: “Fearless!” Ravage skid to a stop in front of the barely standing human. Fearless managed to give him a tight smile before leaning on him. He smelled them a bit. Ravage: “You’re bleeding.” Fearless: “That’s probably from the broken bone.” Ravage: “What is broken?!” Fearless: “Yeah and I think something in my chest snapped too…” Ravage kneels letting Fearless struggle to get on. He flinches hearing their labored breathing and yelps. Ravage: “This isn’t going to be a smooth ride Fearless. Hold on tight and don’t let go.” Fearless gripping part of his armor: “Wasn’t planning on it.”

Fearless didn’t know what was worse.

Focusing on the pain in their chest and leg or focusing on the battle around them.

They definitely needed to apologize to Ravage for how hard they were clenching his armor.

Most didn’t even take notice of the felicon being used to move the injured human.

Sadly, there was one mech on the battlefield that had taken notice.

Fearless sees the giant shadow dwarfing them and Ravage. All they see is Tarn’s large servo reach for them. Fearless raises one of their arms and starts blasting. Fearless: “GO BACK TO THE PITS WHERE YOU BELONG!” It only slows down Tarn a bit. It wasn’t enough. Tarn slaps hard at Fearless’s smaller body. To Ravage’s horror he sees the smaller body get plunged into the fray, swallowed by the fire and smoke of the battlefield. Ravage: “FEARLESS!” A pair of mechs had just seen the act from the screen. One of them immediately ran out.

Time skip after the battle…

The bots who were well enough to walk started rounded up around Terminus and Megatron.

Megatron was trying to recruit a search party for Fearless.

When Megatron had gone out, it was impossible to find their tiny body amongst the chaos around.

Even right after dealing with the DJD and Rodimus pulling him out of the place, there was still no sign of Fearless.

Hope was dwindling fast.

Megatron: “All right, in 5 minutes we depart.” Skids (yes, he lives): “Count me in.” Rung holds Skids back: “With the low energy you have, I don’t think that’s wise Skids.” Skids: “Fearless is out there, we need every bot on deck.” Whirl hobbling over: “He’s right Eyebrows. My Amica is out there and needs us.” Terminus looking at one of the monitors. Terminus: “Your human is small, correct?” Megatron not looking: “Yes.” Terminus: “And in some form of armor?” Megatron still not looking: “Yes.” Terminus: “They leak a lot of red fluids?” Megatron pauses before looking at the screen. Fearless was INSIDE the dome and staggering to the door. Megatron: “Sweet Solus Prime!” Megatron sprints to the door faster than he ever had in his life.

No one knows how Fearless got this far.

Ratchet tells them that it shouldn’t even be possible for them to move with the amount of blood loss and broken bones.

But he wasn’t complaining.

No one is.

Ratchet doesn’t leave Fearless’s side for a couple of hours.

Ratchet stands up with Fearless, bandaged up and limp. Ratchet: “I need someone to hold Fearless, very still, for a while.” Megatron: “I’ll do it.” Ratchet: “No offense Megatron, but you’re shaking like a new recruit. Any harsh movement is not what they need right now.” Whirl hobbles over and opens his cockpit. Carefully he reclines the seat and pulls out one of Fearless’s blankets from his subspace. Whirl: “I’ll take them Doc. I’ll even sit down in the corner.” Ratchet hesitates, but the determined look in Whirl’s optic finally made him gently lay Fearless inside. As soon as Ratchet finished putting Fearless down, Megatron came up and carefully tucked them in. Fearless slightly snuggles closer to the blanket. Terminus peaks over Megatron’s shoulder. Terminus: “They mean that much to you?” Megatron watches Whirl carefully hobble to a corner and sat down. He didn’t miss the Ex-Wrecker carefully adjust their blanket. Megatron: “Yes, yes they do.”

[transingthoseformers]

generally having the funniest ideas but popping out the most:

Sentinel gonna be shitting bricks when he finds out that Optimus is Overlord's kid

Ultra Magnus is gonna start wishing he was dead if he EVER found out about Optimus' ORIGINS

(also because he may have to write an apologize letter to said origin for... *dismissing* such a potiental candidate for the next Magnus. amongst other things. like giving a big case of anxiety and self loathing and possible others.)

Megatron has to find a way around Overlord without DYING in the process but it may be proven impossible with how protective Overlord has been over his tiny adult son. He got off lucky.

Meanwhile Overlord is showing off some baby pics of Orion before he became Optimus while Optimus dying inside and tried so very hard to nab the scrap book of his most embarrsing moments of his youth. Like somehow taking down feral metallic creature that's three-four times his size amd won. Amd suprising every one else that he had teeny tiny fangs. cue Optimus activing his battle mask to prevent unwanted inspection of any fangs

No knows how he was such a feral, bitty and ready to throw hands baby considering how polite Optimus is and how often he gets floored but most of the crew agree that he is mostly like has not changed much (he went for the biggest and meanest of Cons)

I need Sentinel to know for this exact reason. Let him suffer.

What if Ultra Magnus knew a tad bit (knew Optimus was part decepticon)? Angst time? Though when he finds out Optimus is half Overlord... Yeah he was quick to apologize to a not in the mood to be apologized to Overlord

Tfa Megatron is plotting but it's like that meme with the numbers flying around

Megatron is trying

Awww yes, of course Overlord kept the scrapbook of all the best moments

OPTIMUS WITH FANGS SPOTTED

YES

It's always the niceish ones, and yess Optimus has not changed that much

[showstopper35]

Sweet Ache - Rodrift Angst

If it was possible to miss someone while constantly being around them, Rodimus didn't know. Every time Drift met his eyes, a wave of pain splashed into his chest. It wasn't like the slight burn of the Matrix. No, that was pleasant. That made him feel like he was finally enough. This ache was different. Addicting in a sick kind of way, like if he let it simmer it would make him sick with a sweet poison.

The problem was that Rodimus didn't know how to say sorry. He had, of course, but it could never be enough. He had hurt his favorite person. Sent him away like any misbehaving soldier. And oh, of course, Drift had smiled at him, his way of saying he had been forgiven. Rodimus knew better. He knew that it had destroyed Drift, from the way he spoke softer, the way he had gotten repainted, the way he came back with his hand in Ratchet's...

The way he seemed to barely stand being in the same room as Rodimus anymore.

"Hey, Roddy." Drift said, walking onto the bridge. Rodimus's thoughts washed away with that familiar ache.

"Hey."

Drift surprised him by coming up to where he was sitting, putting his head onto Rodimus's shoulder. He tensed, but he allowed it. The ache was worse, but he was desperate for any semblance of their old normalcy.

"Watcha doin?" Drift asks, even though he can clearly see that all Rodimus is doing is doodling while being lost in thought.

"Just drawing," he mutters, showing Drift his doodles of stars and planets.

"Pretty." Drift comments then kisses his neck softly. Rodimus freezes the ache in his chest more of a roar now.

"Don't," he says quietly.

Drift pulls away. "Why not?"

"I'm no good for you, and I think you know that. Besides, you've got whatever you're doing with Ratchet now."

Drift remains quiet for a moment. "I just want to make you happy," he whispers.

Rodimus turns to look at him, to really look at him. "That's the problem. You'll do anything for me, and so I hurt you. I hurt you so much and I can't forgive myself for it, and I know you really don't forgive me." His voice was shaking a bit, his eyes leaving Drift's face every other second.

Drift nods softly. "You did. Ratchet...Ratchet says our relationship wasn't...the most healthy."

Rodimus isn't surprised to hear that, but he still feels a tiny pang of hurt in his spark at the words.

"No. It wasn't. I had-have too much influence over you. " Rodimus stands up, trying to push down the wave of nausea swirling around in his chest.

"But you miss me," Drift says softly.

Rodimus stills, torn between admitting it and telling him to frag off. He feels so, so sick, but he nods anyway, his eyes on the ground.

"Of course I miss you," he whispers. "But we can't do this again. I can't hurt you again."

Drift looks at him for a moment, then reaches out and softly cups his cheek before kissing him. Rodimus doesn't return it, no matter how much he wants to.

Drift steps back after noticing Rodimus's stillness, nodding. "Okay. We're still friends though, right? I can't leave you to suffer with Magnus and Megatron, can I?"

Rodimus laughs softly, choking down the sweet nausea. "Yeah. We're still friends.

The loudspeaker asks Rodimus to come to Magnus's office, and he starts for it. He gives Drift one more soft look before leaving. Maybe the ache will go away, but not today. Not when he can still feel the warmth from his lips.

[myanimals-blog]

Incorrect quotes from team prime(part three)(the title changes until im happy with it)

Rba wedge:* with hotshot* pardon my French, but where the frag are you going?

Rba hotshot: * wondering off into the sunset* I'm vibin'.

*tiny bit of angst*

Tfp arcee: smokescreen, you remind me of...someone.

Tfp smokescreen: Yeah?

Tfp arcee: ...yeah

Tfp Bumblebee: *distressed bee noises* hey, umm I may have lost Optimus.

Tfp ratchet: How...?

Tfp bumblebee:*more distressed bee noises* I DON'T KNOW!

Rba wedge: I don't wanna do thiiiiiiis! *Yeats random object*

Tfp Wheeljack: * Grins like a maniac* I like you already!

Rb Heatwave: * tired grumbling*

Tfp optimus: * concerned for adopted child* how long have you been up?

Rb heatwave: *cybotronian curses*

Tfp optimus: awhile.

Rba medix: Where have you been?

Rba whirl: *being sarcastic* With Unicron.

The whole cast of tfp: Exuse me?!?

Rb blades: be nice

Tfp knockout: give me a click, hun.

Tfp ratchet: pft just a click?

Tfp knockout: shut up, rust bucket.

Rba medix: Knockout!

Tfp Bulkhead: When did you become a rescue bot?

Rb Boulder: That's what you're worried about?

Rba hoist: im not to sure about this.

Rb Quickshadow: don't worry, you're smart. This'll be easy for you.

Hightide: the lass is right. You'll be fine.

Rba medix: Why?

Rb blurr: umm good question.

Tfp optimus: *head over heals* Ratchet, I adore you.

Tfp ratchet: *grin* oh trust me, I know.

Tfp optimus: I don't say it enough.

Tfp ratchet: you don't have to. Your optics say enough.

Rb Blades:* comes out of nowhere* hi!

Tfp bumblebee: *surprised squeak*

Rb blades: aww

Tfp bumblebee:*literally steaming and embarrassed bee noises*

*Wheeljack has thee depression*

Tfp Bulkhead: *evil smirk*ultra magnus, permission to drag wheeljack out of base.

Tfp Ultra magnus: granted.

Rba wedge: * panicking about how arcee and Wheeljack will act about him being a former con*

Tfp arcee and Wheeljack:* literally being the closest to Knockout and confused why he's avoiding them*

thank you guys so much for the support! Seriously, never thought id ever be confident enough to post this kind of stuff. I appreciate it, but enough of me being sweet, part four is in the drafts.

[ao3feed-jonmartin]

ive been blossoming alone over you

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/MgFEryS by jmbian He isn’t waiting. No, of course not, he’s just… just… Okay, yes, he’s waiting. Every tick of the clock, every tap of his finger, every beat of his heart, he gets more and more anxious that his waiting is for naught. Has Martin already gone home, then? - - - 2 more chapters are coming but it can be read as a standalone rn! Words: 2693, Chapters: 1/3, Language: English Fandoms: The Magnus Archives (Podcast) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: M/M Characters: Martin Blackwood, Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist Additional Tags: First Kiss, jonmartin, jon is used to martin’s routine tea-bringing!!, Touch-Starved Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, will touch (hah) on that more in future chapters, Angst, only a tiny bit… only enough to make it hurt, insomniac jonathan sims, jon’s struggles with his humanity, jon has intrusive thoughts, is it the eye or the bpd? we may never know!, chapter 1: set the night before the unknowing, around the time I feel like jon realized his feelings for martin, he’s so overwhelmed with feelings he doesn’t know what to do with himself read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/MgFEryS

[faejilly]

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @shadoedseptmbr ages and ages ago

tagging uh... i have no fucking clue. anyone who writes! no pressure! please blame me! @fancytrinkets @la-muerta @leahazel @jadesabre301 & ?!?!?

1: How many works do you have on AO3?

178 fics, since this is a fic writer meme.

2: What's your total AO3 wordcount?

1,193,590, with the caveat that that includes a collab fic of 190,409 words of which I was primarily writing only one of three POV characters. (And also one other shorter collab and the minimal amount of words required to describe the podfic/fanmixes.)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Mostly Shadowhunters (TV) atm, a lot of BioWare Games (especially Dragon Age 2) and then a truly random smattering of smaller games and tiny!fandom prompts back when askbox games were more common here plus Yuletide/Fic Exchange Matches On Unexpected Things. (I think I've broken 20 fandoms on AO3, depending on how one counts the various DA sub-fandoms.)

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

These are all Shadowhunters and Malec fics. The first three are complete, the last two are WIPs.

two are halves of one

My only posted 5+1 fic, a series of outsider perspectives on Alec & Magnus & their very long day of denied cuddles/alone time. 😅

i cannot touch because they are too near

Parabatai Feels & Magic Lore! I wrote this for a Season 3B countdown event, and it's Magnus Being A Nerd and trying to figure out how this parabatai thing works. I snuck Jace and Michael Wayland feels in there kind of sideways too. I do think it's one of the most self-indulgent things I've ever written (epistolary! melancholy comfort! No Plot!) with many thanks to @rutherinahobbit because she helped me land the ending.

with an if in its soul

So I killed Alec off-screen right before the fic starts, and proceeded to keep poor Magnus very upset about it for the following 22k words. (It gets better! I promise! No one stays dead!) I got many angry and wailing comments, I have never been so proud. (This one suffered from very dramatic scope creep while I was trying to write it, which amused tumblr a lot, and this time I have to thank @poemsfromthealley for helping to make it work. And also the blurb, because I just could not figure out how to post it for ages.)

i am for you

Epistolary!Fluff Fic that was supposed to be a bit of a missed connection thing for @pameluke but Alec instead proposed to Magnus on first sight and I just kind of went with that instead. /I am not in charge of the voices in my head

It is the first fic I ever had really break containment and get a lot of engagement/comments/subs/etc. It has been out-kudosed now, obviously as it's #4 on this list, but that's only because I killed the momentum and never finished it. 😅😅😅 ISTFG I am going to finish it some day though!

if broken hearts were whole

From a soulmates/massage combined prompt meme thing ALSO for @pameluke. I got stuck on this one largely because I had three different prequel/s1 retellings in my head at the same time and I kind of tangled them all up too much to get any of them done. I will eventually figure this one out too, but I may have to finish one of the other things to sort of clean my brain out, and I haven't managed that either.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

In theory? I got hung up on a comment from an FTH bidder the year I failed to finish my FTH fic, and didn't want to reply to their comment 'til I wrote their fic?

which doesn't make much sense, but brains are weird, so there we are

someday I'll answer the backlong. it's only like two or three years at this point? 😅😭🤣

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

so about uh... five years ago? there was a really popular gifset format from an Elizabeth Hewer poem called in one timeline and I haven't the faintest idea how to gifset so I wrote a fic for Malec instead. [ao3]

I have written other things which Have Angst, but for me I tend to ease the ending... this is one of the few where I didn't.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Everything Else! (Almost)

I think, as an exercise in the true form of Happily Ever After, I'd have to go with Fine Feathers, which is an epilogue to a Georgette Heyer Regency Romance novel I did for Yuletide 2016.

8. Do you get hate on your fic?

Not usually. I don't even get people yelling at me to update on my WIPs, which may be hateful but isn't the same thing 😅

/and I'm certainly not complaining about either of these things, but I wish I knew how I avoided The Discourse™️so I could do it on purpose

9. Do you write smut?

I used to pretty regularly. I was even known as a smut!fic writer when Dragon Age Fandom and I were mutually more active together. Not so much (on either the writing quantity or the requests for more smut) for Shadowhunters.

10. Do you write crossovers?

Mostly no? I did two very short ficlets for Bingo Squares. I do still believe that Leverage is the Fix-It Fandom that fits everywhere and thus only kind-of counts as a crossover, plus I wrote a Shadowhunters / Inception bit with Ariadne as a Warlock.

I do also enjoy a good fusion fic, aka using a different canon as an AU setting, rather than combining characters from two settings.

For example: Shadowhunters Characters as BAU Agents from Criminal Minds!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of? I've seen it happen to co-authors though, and other friends

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! I am still stunned and amazed and delighted by this!

Batty_Blue translated several of my Shadowhunters fics into Russian:

a flower of always i cannot touch because they are too near trust your heart ashes of angels / ashes of roses

And Pomyluna translated 'First Choice' into Polish

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

Yes!

Only once successfully (aka one and done and finished and posted), and that was entirely thanks to my co-author Raph. 😅 (Against All Odds for @galedekarios back when I knew her as Chignon on an actual forum prior to tumblr. She's who got me onto tumblr, so if you met me here? That's her fault. 🥰)

I have started things with people a few times that never got posted, and there's a massive Mass Effect retelling on potentially permanent hiatus, though all three of us do hold out hope that someday our lives will align again. (Persephone Rising)

14. What‘s your all-time favourite ship?

Me & Sleep

(Sorry, can't do it, can't choose. Beware My Armada. With a couple ancient ship leviathans which can raise themselves from the deep with the slightest provocation.)

15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Every thing I have ever posted (except for 12 Moons) is something that I do in fact hold out hope I will eventually finish.

Things I have not started posting are too numerous to count and/or list. Sometimes they come back. Sometimes they are fertilizer for other things that will be written later.

16. What’s your writing strengths?

Dialogue and hopeful melancholy? I get a lot of compliments on emotion/mood, and I do feel like I am usually pleased with the, idk, vibes of most of what I write.

17. What’s your writing weaknesses?

Plot & structure! What is? How do? What do you mean I have to have things happen rather than just reacting all the time?!?

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I have done it with mixed success and there are definitely ways to do it more accessibly than I did. It can add a lot, but you do have to think about the execution.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Uh. I think Lois & Clark back when I was a teen!jilly. Either that or Sailormoon when I was a slightly older teen!jilly?

In terms of posting in public, it was Bioware something, either Mass Effect or Dragon Age: Origins back around when Thing 2 was born. And he's 14 now, so... 😅

Orion's Belt, I think? I didn't originally post it on AO3, and then I deleted myself off the internet for awhile, and then I re-uploaded everything, and I'm bad at time in the best of circumstances, which that clearly was not, so it might not have been that one specifically but it was close.

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

I CAN'T CHOSE JUST ONE WTF

As a formative event/process, I have a certain enduring fondness for Lost for Words, which was like the first fic I really wrote while in fandom... I was social about it and posted while I was writing and finished (eventually) and it is still the longest single story I have ever written. (Tho I am for you will beat it out when I finish that.)

It's not particuarly good from the perspective of who I am as a writer some dozen years later, but it's sincerely meant cotton candy, at least. 🤣

[malec-ao3feed]

The Gift of the Angels

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/MRQLU5G by Malecfan09 The demonstration is over all too soon. Alec hangs back, hoping to see a bit more if he keeps quiet. His class mates make enough noise as they leave that his wish comes true and no one sees him still tucked away against a wall. The Iron Sister talks to Hodge for a few moments and then turns back to the forge, wiping her forehead with one hand. She puts a piece of metal into the fire, and Alec watches as it glows a dark red. Surely it was orange all the other times? Why is this one red? “Oh Raziel!” he hears her cry, as she leaps back and throws the metal in his direction. The air lights up with the glowing iron, and Alec sees the shock and horror in her eyes before the metal explodes into a thousand tiny fragments. There is a scream and Alec only has time to realise that it came from him before everything blacks out. ****** In which Alec, rather than Isabelle, is imbued with Heavenly Fire and what he does with it. *** This work was created for By the Angel Bingo: Presented by the Malec Discord Server" ****** Words: 6791, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Series: Part 16 of Malec Prompts Fandoms: Shadowhunters (TV) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: Alec Lightwood, Jace Wayland, Isabelle Lightwood, Magnus Bane, Catarina Loss, Andrew Underhill, Other Shadowhunter Character(s), Original Characters Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Alec Lightwood & Jace Wayland, Alec Lightwood & Isabelle Lightwood, Magnus Bane & Catarina Loss Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, shadowhunter universe, Not Canon Compliant, Young Alec Lightwood, he grows up, Caring Alec Lightwood, Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Hurt Alec Lightwood, Hurt Magnus Bane, Light Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Falling In Love, Heavenly Fire (Shadowhunter Chronicles) read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/MRQLU5G

[icescrabblerjerky]

twenty questions for fic writers

tagged by @senseandaccountability THANK YOU!

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 200 exactly! I did not know this until I just went and checked.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 1,222,468 - I too have been at it for a long time, about fifteen years (and there is more of it on other sites lol)

3. What fandoms do you write for? Rusty Quill Gaming, Baldur's Gate 3, SWTOR (and other star wars related fandoms), Dragon Age, The Magnus Archives, Final Fantasy XIV, uh... and lots of little one offs for books and tiny podcast fandoms.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

The Mbmbam Archives (mbmbam/magnus crossover) with 949 (this still makes me laugh so much)

Seven Days (RQGaming, Zolf/Oscar) at 458

Sex, Death and Plants or: Four Seasons Total Landscaping (RQGaming AU, Zolf/Oscar/Grizzop) at 425

Willing to Wait for It (RQGaming, genfic) at 394

and

A Little Help (RQGaming, again Zoscar) at 384

Rusty Quill Gaming folks are super super supportive and awesome and I'm forever grateful they went on my dumb journeys with these characters with me.

5. Do you respond to comments? Always! I hope! I know sometimes I miss them when I'm away from my computer but they are definitely always read.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Mmmm, angsty-est?? I'm not one really for angsty endings, although I like angst in all the other bits. Probably the fic I wrote where Zolf is mourning Oscar. I honestly can't remember what it was called.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Sex Death and Plants ends in a massive polycule and the take down of a fascist asshole billionaire so I think it deffo qualifies as the happiest of my endings :D.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm LOL. Never directly. I have reports of people who dislike what I write but they never tell me to my face for some reason, it always gets around to me, usually about two years later, on the underground.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I do. I love writing smut. I don't write very graphic smut as a general rule but most of my fics will have one or two scenes in it and I've done a couple of kinktobers. Love it.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? I've got a couple. One Dragon Age/Lucifer crossover that I wrote specifically for a friend. One aborted Firefly/Dragon Age Crossover that lives on FF.net I think if that site hasn't destroyed itself.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? I've had enquiries about translating some into Russian but I've never actually seen if they followed through.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes! Quite a few actually. Some of them haven't been published :D.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship? I should say Zoscar. So I will. I love them your honour.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? Gods I got a comment on my old Rebels fic "Talking to Strangers" and I read it again and went "this shit's good I should finish it" but that would involve me actually watching the rest of Rebels and I don't really watch TV any more and it just ends up being too hard.

16. What are your writing strengths? Dialogue and character voices, I think - at least for fic. I have a lot of fun trying to make what characters say feel like it could be lifted directly from the source material but isn't.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Description. Fucken' hate it. I'll do it but I'll moan about it for every single sentence.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? Very risky IMO and not something I'll do any more although I used to when I first started out. These days I'll write it in English but indicate which language it should be in in other ways.

19. First fandom you wrote for? If we wanna get technical I wrote my first fanfic when I was about ten years old. It was Sherlock Holmes fanfiction (the stories, not the series, since the series didn't come out for another twenty five years lol). Self insert time travel fic. I may still have it somewhere lol.

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written? I love all my fanfictions equally (I really don't care for Mbmbam Archives). No that was a joke, I really do love all of them, my favourite tends to be the one I'm writing at the present moment. That said honourable mention should go to The Nature of Crystal (G'raha/WOL smut) because that one just arrived fully formed in my head one morning and tickled me.

I'll tag @feralkwe, @wishflower4, @zombolouge @makesometime and anyone else who would like to do it!

[draconic-ichor]

Matilda probably only has been real mad once and it was during their childhood. Obviously at her rowdy brothers

Sunlit Crystals

Warnings: Angst, childhood conflicts, light medical speak, mild physical conflict

“The headaches are becoming more frequent?” The physician clarified, holding up a lit candle close to Matilda’s face.

The small girl blinked against the flame but attempted to keep her eyes wide open for inspection. “…Yes.” She answered, the physician moving to smooth back her hair.

Her pupils were expanded, a milky cloudiness engulfing them save for the smallest ring of black around the edge. Her irises were the same gold as her mother’s, although a bit more dull because of a constant wetness.

Her pupils hardly contracted against the bright light assaulting them. The physician repeated the inspection on the other eye, lips a thin line. He straightened, setting the candle to the side.

Matilda worried her little hands together, face downcast.

“Your condition hasn’t improved…” he informed, going on, “Conditions of these nature are sadly progressive. Do you know what the means?”

Matilda shook her head.

“It means,” he explained gently, “It will only grow worse as you age.”

She gulped, looking up, “I’ll never see right?” Dismay thick in her small voice.

“I’m sorry.”

~

His words echoed around her head as she slowly walked down the hall. Petra padded beside her, offering out kind words. She knotted her hands into the front of her dress, swallowing down all her emotions. Her eyes were covered with a bandage: the physician’s mitigation to her eyestrain born headaches.

It was ugly and uncomfortable, rubbing against the sensitive base of her budding horns. She nodded a bit to Petra, not really hearing anything said to her.

“G-Go play, d-de…ar one.” Petra opened up the sunroom doors for her, “I m-must m…eet with t-the Lady.”

Matilda nodded, making her way into the space, she knew the room well enough to easily find her way around even when blindfolded. Padding up the large bay windows, she paused, letting the warmth of the sun warm her face.

Sighing, she reached out for a small treasure she’d left on the sill: an ornate music box made of gold, a gift from her mother.

She felt over the delicately carved lid with her thumb before winding the small key kept in its side. Cupping the music box in her hands she watched as the lid slowly rose with a little song. Crystals carved like little castle towers moved up and down with the lulls of the tune, the inside of the lid encrusted with colored bits of glass.

She pushed up the blindfold, cloudy eyes falling on the trinket. Sun illuminated the tiny crystals as they danced, sending shifting shades of color over her face. Even with her fuzzy vision she could enjoy the colors and sparkling movement.

She was so engrossed in the music box, letting herself get lost in its song, that she was deaf to her brothers.

The boys pushed into the sunroom, already arguing with one another. The older the twins became the more frequent Magnus butted heads with their older brother.

“I told you, I’ll take care of it.” Maddox hissed.

“Why’s it all up to you?” Magnus huffed, crossing his arms.

“Because.” Maddox snorted, “I won’t make a bigger mess of it, like you!”

“I won’t!”

“You will!”

“No!”

“Yes, you will.” Maddox shrugged, turning away, “Just like with the statue at Mama’s party.”

“No!” Magnus’s tail fluffed up, “Take it back!”

“No.”

“Take it back!!”

“Why, it’s true?!” Maddox finally turned back to him, flashing his teeth challengingly.

Magnus pounced on the other. Biting at his cheek, starting to scuffle. There was a little back and forth before Maddox pushed him off, sending Magnus stumbling backwards into their sister.

The sudden impact jolted the music box from the young girl’s hands with a yelp.

It hit the floor with a metallic crunch, delicate cogs and shattered bits of crystals strewn across the polished stone. Music forever silenced.

The boys were frozen for a moment, eyes akin to saucers. Matilda looked down, the floor just a mess of factored color to her vision, saturated smears of grief.

Her small body tightened; all the negativity that had been buzzing around her insides rose into a storm, rage ate her like hornets.

“Matilda, I’m so-“ Magnus started, reaching out for her. Before he could finish the sentence the smaller omen spun around. He was taken back by the look of venom he was given.

“Don’t touch me!” Matilda lashed out, pushing Magnus.

The boy fell back in shock, mouth open.

“All you do is bicker and scream like everything is so bad for you!” She yelled, “Fighting like babies!” Her small body shook, wing feathers ruffling.

“M-Matilda-“ Maddox tried to sooth, ears flat against his skull.

She bristled, pointing at him with a clawed finger. “Shut your mouth.” She rounded on Maddox, “At least you can play outside, and see the sun, and…and..” tears welled down her cheeks as the words died on her tongue. Her anger cracked, raw and painful, giving way to bottled up despair.

Before the boys could react she pushed past them, running away down the hall. They were frozen, guts ate up with guilt.

Magnus shakily stood, shuffling over to the broken music box. He leaned down, scooping up the bits carefully, looking towards Maddox for help.

~

In the darkness of her wardrobe Matilda wept, clutching a stuffed toy close. The world felt much too big, all crashing in on the small one. She curled tighter in on herself.

[thelightofthebane]

through the good and bad and all in between

Summary: Magnus was born a warlock. Magnus became a mundane for love and by self-sacrificing tendencies. Magnus turned into a vampire after an act of spite and revenge.

A story about survival, new identities, love through adversities, and accepting changes.

Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Episode: s03e17 Heavenly Fire, Vampire Magnus Bane, Turned without consent, Major Character Undeath, Immortal to Mortal to Immortal, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Good Boyfriend Alec Lightwood, Soft Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Cat & Alec friendship, Domestic Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Fluff and Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending

Rating: E

Chapters: 10

Words: Around 23k~

This fic was created for the Shadowhunters Mini Bang 2023: Presented by the @malecdiscordserver

You can read it on AO3 or the last chapter below ~

Chapter 10 - I need you here 'til the very end

Seven years later

By some miracle, things settled for a long time.

No more catastrophes. No more Greater Demons or madmen. No more jealous ex-girlfriends. No more near-death experiences.

Jia and Lydia had become a refreshing powerhouse for the Clave. A rewriting of the Accords was even in the plans, and this time there would be more Downworlder representatives than before.

Alec had been helping Lydia with a project that would spread the idea of Downworld Cabinets for all Institutes, as well as some really needed reeducation regarding Downworld culture. Surprisingly, Alec chose Clary to be aboard in the project, and her suggestions of Mundane culture have been really interesting and useful for once.

The New York Shadow World was thriving too. Alec not only reformed the Institute and made sure no one under his leadership would mistreat a Downworld ever again, but he also put into action new ideas - like a mixed school for Shadowhunters and Downworlders’ children to learn together.

Magnus was…

Magnus was much better. His nightmares were still present, but few and far between. He seemed more settled in his new role, and despite missing his magic a lot, he could now think about it with fondness instead of grief.

They had married two years after Alec’s proposal. Jace and Clary married a year later. Simon and Izzy, four years later.

Jace and Clary became parents around the time Alec and Magnus celebrated their 5th anniversary. It also lit up a tiny flame inside Alec’s chest that wished the same with Magnus. Maybe it was time to have the adoption talk.

Well, if another disaster wasn’t about to happen, but judging by Izzy’s serious face, Alec didn’t want to push his luck.

“Please, don’t tell me you found out about another secret experiment by the Clave.”

Isabelle cracked a tiny smile, shaking her head.

“It’s something personal, actually.” She closed the door and went to sit on the chair in front of him.

“Are you okay? Did you and Simon fight?”

“No, although it has to do with him.”

Alec frowned in confusion. She smiled a bit more genuinely this time.

“I bet no one could’ve ever imagined that us both would end up in a committed relationship with vampires.”

Alec snorts. 

“Understatement.” He went back to write on a report mission, letting his sister to take her time to tell him whatever has been bothering her. However, when after ten minutes nothing more was said, he decided to push her a little bit. “What’s your point, Iz?”

“Have you ever thought about staying?”

The pen halted on the paper, and Alec needed a moment to comprehend what Izzy was saying. When it finally hit him, he put the pen down and looked at her.

“Yes,” he croaked, his eyes automatically straying for a drawer containing books and years of research. “Since Magnus was turned.”

“Did you find something?”

“Besides becoming a vampire? No.” Alec huffed, frustrated with the lack of alternatives.

“And that would be too bad?” Izzy mumbled, but her brother heard anyway and looked a bit spooked.

“W-What?”

“Look, it was one thing before when Magnus was still an immortal warlock. But he’s a vampire now. Would it be that bad to be the same as him?”

Alec’s frown only deepened.

She… had a point.

He was so worried looking for answers, he had forgotten that Magnus changed. He was still immortal, but a different kind. And if Alec did become a vampire, the only thing he would be sacrificing is food. He was sure that if he asked Jace, his brother wouldn’t mind giving him his blood, too.

“Oh…”

“Yeah, oh.” Izzy smirked, but it was slightly shaken.

“Is this what you want?”

The woman released an equally shaken breath and looked directly at her brother’s eyes.

“I do. Simon is… Simon is right. You know I’ve never cared much about love, but something in him makes me dream about things I didn’t dare before. He makes me happy in a way that hurts, you know? A good hurt, the kind that fills me up and makes me stronger and braver.”

Alec smiled, his eyes now finding the photo frame on his desk. Magnus and he were holding each other under a Sakura tree in full bloom, petals falling over them in a pink rain. They were both laughing, blissfully happy.

Yeah. He knew perfectly what Izzy was talking about.

“Besides, it’s not only about him. I… There is so many things I want to do now, and I think a single lifetime will not be enough. The project draft I showed you last week regarding more secure and efficient weapons, as well as high-tech shields… It’ll take years to heave at least one prototype done. I want to see this to its end, big brother.”

Alec hummed. Getting up, he got around the desk and crouched next to her. “Let me ask you again. Is this what you really want?”

Isabelle straighted up her shoulders and nodded with a fierce glare, full of determination and stubbornness that was practically a Lightwood trait at this point.

“Yes.”

“We have a lot to plan, then. But first, we need to talk to our parabatais, then our family. Simon and Magnus should come last, because they’ll be the most difficult.”

“I know… But you’ll be with me, right?”

“Always, Iz.” Alec grinned then. “Forever.” 

~*~

As Alec expected, talking to Magnus didn’t start well.

“Absolutely not! If… If I were still a warlock or you could stay as a Shadowhunter… But a vampire? No. Never.”

“Why not? You’re one!”

“You’ll have to die, Alec!”

“You died!” Alec yelled and suddenly a heavy silence wrapped the room, only their gasps filling the air.

Then, Alec sobbed, frustration and guilt still weighting his heart.

“You died… And I couldn’t do anything.”

But Magnus was equally stubborn.

“I can’t stomach the idea of you dying. Even if your intention is to come back.” He shook his head, shuddering. “Alexander, we don’t know if it works for Nephilim. Mundane blood is one thing. Even if you derune yourself so the runes won’t interfere, we don’t know what your angel blood might do. What if doesn’t work?”

“It does. Izzy and I researched. There are some cases of Shadowhunters who were attacked in patrols and turned, and some that turned willingly.”

They spent a couple of minutes just staring at each other, neither of them willing to back down.

Until Magnus deflated at last.

“You’re really serious about that, aren’t you?”

Alec nodded with certainty. Soon enough, though, his forehead creased in concern, a huge lump in his throat.

“Unless… Unless you don’t want me forever. Unless only a mortal lifetime would be enough–”

“Don’t you dare! Don’t you dare imply that I wouldn’t want you for all eternity. I’m not ready to lose you now, and I’m sure I’ll never be. But I don’t want you to regret this, Alexander. Immortality is a curse. I… I don’t want you to resent me over time for this burden.”

“I won’t.”

“You can’t be sure.”

“But I am, Magnus.”

“How so?”

“Because there isn’t a lifetime or universe where I would regret choosing you, Magnus Bane. You’re it for me. You’re mine and I’m yours.”

Magnus’ eyes fluttered, his eyelashes already damp although no tears had fallen yet.

“What about your family? Your parabatai?”

“I’ve already talked to them. Jace gave me his blessing, Max was totally chill about it, and my parents struggled a bit but agreed in the end without any fuss. And Izzy… Izzy will stay. With us. For as long as I live, I’ll have the love of my life and my baby sister with me.” Alec smiled.

“And Simon?” Magnus tried to joke, but his voice cracked with all the emotions currently overwhelming him.

“If it’s the price for Izzy’s happiness, I can tolerate him.” Alec shrugged. “He is your family, too.”

“I can deal alright with Sherman.”

Alec grinned, approaching Magnus and pressing their foreheads together.

“I promise I want this, Magnus. Trust me.”

“I do… It’s just… I’m afraid. You know how become a vampire is like a gamble. You either turn or your soul is trapped forever at the in-between.”

“I know. So, will you be my sire?”

“Oh god, I forgot about that. Yes, of course, but…” Magnus bit his lower lip. “Should I look for a way to…” He choked. “...to kill you quickly and painlessly?”

At that, Alec stepped back and looked horrified at him.

“Are you crazy? I won’t let you kill me! You already have enough nightmares for many lifetimes, Magnus. I won’t give you one more.”

“You should not die alone, Alec! It’s awful, believe me. I can’t let you take your own life either. I won’t!”

“Magnus!”

“Alexander!”

.

.

.

The immortality talk was never an easy one.

Even if they were sure about the ‘why’, they argued for weeks about the ‘how’.

It was Catarina who offered them a solution.

~*~

“Oh wow, we are going to be four!” Simon blabbed, all excited like a kid at a candy store. “We can already form our own club, The Daylighters.”

Magnus cocked an eyebrow and Alec narrowed his eyes. It was the same bullshit from his wedding-that-wasn’t with Lydia.

“You’re so lucky that Izzy loves you.”

“Of course I am. Actually, talking about her, what if we went on double dates after you two turn? I heard about this blood bar near Times Square that sells these cocktails with different blood types, and they have this tiny umbrellas made of-”

“Oh my God! I’m going to look for Jace and spar with him.” Alec groaned and left before Simon finished.

“He still hates me, doesn’t he?” Simon chuckled, this time without much humor.

Magnus’ eyes softened.

“Relax. You know how Alexander is. He might not say out loud, but he already considers you family.”

“Really?” Simon’s whole face lit up. “Then, we’re not going to be just a club. We’re going to be a family of Daylighters!”

And wasn’t that a whole concept?

Sometimes Magnus couldn’t believe that despite all the suffering, all the pain, all the choices taken from him… He could still have this.

A big family.

At first, it was only him, Ragnor, Cat and Raphael.

Then, they lost Ragnor. And Raphael was now a mortal, so their time together was limited.

But for the centuries to come, more people became part of their small, special bunch of immortal troublemakers.

Madzie, Simon.

Very soon, his husband and sister-in-law.

Maybe in the future… Their own kids.

Jace and Clary were okay with their mortality and opted to die as Shadowhunters. Furthermore, considering their extra angel blood, neither of them wanted to gamble with a high probability of failure. What if their super angelic blood burned the demonic virus and they remained dead? No, it was too dangerous to even try. But the Herondale-Fairchild clan would forever be assisted and protected by them, never letting Jace and Clary’s legacy to be forgotten.

They would all be okay.

“Yes, Simon. We’re really going to be.”

~*~

It took a couple more of years before they went forward with it.

Alec still had some last arrangements to do before retiring from the Institute and starting his new life as a vampire. Isabelle had already gone through the process, and it was her former parabatai's blood that turned her into a Daylighter.

Now, in his late 30s, it was Alec’s turn to take this unchangeable step.

They went back to Ragnor’s home, where everything has started. They dug a hole right next to Magnus’ grave, and stocked the place with bags of blood. Cat was there too, but this time she would wait inside the house until it was time to bury Alec’s body. They all agreed that, no matter the end result, it was better to not leave Magnus alone. What they were about to do wouldn’t be easy for either of them, but Magnus refused to let Alec be by himself.

“Do you think Ragnor would mind having me here too? I know you three agreed to be buried together, but maybe a Shadowhunter would be too much for him.”

Magnus smiled softly. “It was Ragnor that actually convinced me to fight one more time for us on that day of your wedding with Lydia. I’m pretty sure Ragnor would allow you here knowing you are the one whom my heart belongs to.”

Alec flushed, a boyish smile adorning his face. Oh… It was going to be the last time Magnus saw that pretty pink color on Alexander’s cheeks.

Well, it was okay, he thought.

Alec was still full of things Magnus absolutely loved. 

Under a big oak tree at Ragnor’s garden, they shared some more words and kisses, showering each other in promises and love.

They kissed for a long time, until Magnus slowly started a trail of open-mouthed kisses down to Alec’s neck. He licked and nibbled the sensitive skin around the deflect rune. Then, without holding himself any longer, he bit hard, breaking skin and making his husband bleed. Latching at it, Magnus drank the Nephilim blood, losing himself for a moment.

Alec tensed, feeling pain and fire and death under his skin, but soon his thoughts halted and his mind went numb.

Magnus was delighted, feeling how that was better than any blood he has tried. So delicious and addictive and his, only his.

“M-Magnus…” Alec whimpered, enough to break through the fog on Magnus’ mind. Alec’s blood dripped from his lips, the marvelous taste still exploding on his tongue. “I- Your… I need your blood…” Alec was paler, but he held himself with the determination of a man in a mission.

Magnus nodded, and using his fang, cut his own wrist and put it near Alec’s lips. A bit sluggishly, he also drank Magnus’ blood, grimacing at the metallic taste.

“There, you are doing great, my darling,” Magnus cooed, nuzzling Alec’s cheek until he reached the other side of his neck and bit there too, drinking more.

A moan and weak tap on his arm forced Magnus to stop again and look at his love. Alec’s eyes were glazed, half-hooded and dull. If Magnus still had a beating heart, it would’ve certainly stopped for a moment.

“Now… please…” He could see that Alec was barely holding up now. Quickly, he fished out from his pocket the potion Catarina made especially for that occasion. It would accelerate Alec’s death while he slept. Quick and painless.

Magnus helped Alec drank the murky green liquid, and soon enough the Shadowhunter’s eyes were dropping.

“L’ve… you…” He forced a breath. “See’ya… soon…”

“I love you too. I will be here, I promise.” Magnus took Alec in his arms, holding his husband with all the care and desperation in the world.

Alec’s heart started to slow down, the beats stuttering.

Please…

Slowly, slowly stopping.

Come back.

His breath turned into tiny huffs of air until it was gone.

You have to come back to me, Alexander.

A last beat.

Please.

Silence.

Please.

.

.

. 

Later, while waiting beside Alec’s grave, when a hand with a beloved and familiar wedding ring emerged from the dirt, Magnus knew everything was going to be all right.

They were going to be all right.

[faithfromanewperspective]

THIS wow if I might add my 2 cents as to why in my mind it isn't all that weird (though could be better fleshed out, I'd love to read a short story collection that is just thomas' diaries):

thomas has always had mixed, conflicting and often fickle thoughts on alastair, and honestly I get it with the big emotions of a first love he feels is forbidden, plus he is torn by his curiosity and compassion for alastair and his protectiveness over james. he doesn't want to join matthew in badmouthing him, but nor can he consider his crush a true friend out of loyalty to his actual friend. thomas knows what the year at the academy did to james and genuinely hurts for him. Also kindness is important to thomas, and alastair hadn't proved he was capable of that til paris 1902. even if thomas did find him funny still at the academy and didn't agree with matthew potentially stooping to academy!alastair's level.

2. THANK YOU FOR POINTING OUT CONTROLLING MATTHEW, like, I feel like on the surface there's a conflicting narrative 'he was happy until the events of CLS and depressed after' (due to jems narration but I don't think he knew matthew that well before then) but to me he's always fit the descriptor magnus had for edmund herondale in TBC 'a fragile edge to his beauty', 'his kind of temperament was the very one most suited to disaster at play' and 'a lovely ship that might sail out to sea or wreck itself upon the rocks'--both characters have angst spilling out at the injustice of the clave that they channel into seeking out forbidden beauty and downworld magic, as if their wonder may balance out the bigotry of the clave, and as a desperate attempt to ally themselves with oppressed and glamorous downworld rather than the largely unimaginative and often unkind clave (at least in the case of matthew I think, I really hope he gets to express this in a healthy way because the difference it could make, but at the same time I hate the clave for causing basic decency to require rebellion). Anyway there's more to it than that, a lot of restlessness and dissatisfaction, and up until CLS matthew did channel that into caring for others, even though it was a bit more sinister below the surface. He feels like his worth is tied up in how he looks after others, whether directly or in bringing them the joy of entertainment and art (that they clearly need more of from his pov).

As a result, James is both a welcome reprieve from that (and I think the unique kind of respect matthew has for him is what drove him to want to be parabatai and means their parabatai relationship stayed so wholesome--both equally take care of each other since james made it clear from the beginning no power dynamic was welcome. with christopher it's different because they're a team and matthew gives him the ability to exist in society exactly the way he wants to: respected, allowed to do what he loves, and spared from both social isolation and having unnecessary interactions with acquaintances. but thomas grows into himself over the course of their friendship and goes from the tiny, shy follower to someone who has his own opinions, fierce love for those around him, competing with matthew for his role as the 'caretaker'. and he does get frustrated but I think that the reason the conflict never eventuates is because CLS subdues matthew to the point he basically concedes that role to thomas (he even is less involved in lab stuff with christopher which I hate how we never properly resolved that). matthew who previously defined himself by how he took care of others had just done the opposite of that, and as a result he doesn't think he knows how to look after his friends anymore and it becomes a level field until COT where they look after him, starting with thomas. for years all he thinks he has left is his entertainment value, and feels so worthless he doesn't think he's capable of being the caretaker anymore. by COT he doesn't feel like he has the right to judge alastair anymore, despite the way he's kind of internally blamed him for the events of CLS for years. and so that's how even through tragedy, CLS in some ways saved matthew and thomas' friendship.

which is also why I think alastair was so convinced the thieves would exclude thomas for being with him. because academy matthew he knew probably would, or at least try to gaslight him out of it. matthew grows a lot and I am so happy with where he's left at after COT. and I also think charlotte forgives him so easily too because she's so concerned at seeing her caring little boy self destruct and stop caring and overall I'm just really excited for matthew to figure out what taking care of others on a much more equal and respectful playing field might look like, while remaining his flamboyant self!

Thomas going from defending Alastair to his friends and doubling down even when they all obviously disagree with him and wistfully remarking that he "like[s] his nonsense" in 1901 to saying him and Alastair are definitely not friends & that Alastair is objectively awful & debating if he should even speak to him in 1902.... like that has to be one of the most bizarre changes in character that has not and will probably never will be explained or even acknowledged

[malucy31]

Time is On Our Side

Alec is stuck on a mission in India in the 18th century and he misses Magnus. One day, he wakes up somewhere that feels and smells like home.

Chapter 1/3 - Moon troubles

Read on ao3

In a state of semi-consciousness, Alec senses Magnus hovering somewhere over him, his soothing words, soothing voice, familiar presence. When he manages to blink his eyes open, it’s only for a second.

The light is too harsh.

“Magnus…” his voice trails off on its own. He missed him so much.

“Hello, there. You slept all morning, I was starting to fear you wouldn’t wake up at all.”

“The mission, it – ”

“Shh, you’ve been injured, try not to talk.”

“Thought it’d never end…”

“It’s over now. You’re safe here.”

Alec smiles at these words, letting his muscles relax into Magnus’s magic. If he opened his eyes, he knows he would see his lovely husband weaving blue tendrils of magic like strings of air and atoms. But his eyelids are too heavy, and everything is so peaceful.

Two weeks.

Those missions are always supposed to last two weeks, but they never do. Faint recollections of a missed new moon and a missed opportunity to go home cross his mind.

How long has it been? A month? A month and a half?

Alec can’t focus. He has missed Magnus so much, has craved being in his arms, hearing his voice. It has just been too long.

Above him, Magnus says things, but Alec’s brain only registers a few words of reassurance, maybe replies to his unconscious ramblings. He doesn’t even know what he is saying.

Disappointment settles when the soft buzzing of Magnus’s magic leaves his skin. He realizes he must be pouting because the musical laughter he loves so much answers him.

“Try to rest. I’ll be in the next room if you need me, okay?”

Alec pictures himself nodding but has no idea if his head follows. After that, everything fades.

Magnus’s magic must have been what kept him awake because when he regains consciousness, it’s to an evening light filtering through half-closed shutters.

The feelings he had earlier are still floating at the edge of his memory. Magnus’s magic is there too, purring underneath his skin like it has found a home there. As always, Alec opens himself up to the feelings, letting it drizzle, letting it settle in every numb place.

Peacefulness only lasts a few seconds though. The sheets under his palms are rougher than usual. It’s not the silk he was expecting to find. These remind him more of the ones he had at the Institute. More than a bit confused, he sits up, trying not to pay too much attention to his still painful right arm.

Something as simple as it is terrifying grows in his stomach as he takes in his surroundings.

He is neither in their bedroom, nor at the Institute.

In fact, Alec has no idea where he is. It feels like home, but it isn’t. Between the echoes of a familiar magic lovingly coiling up around his bones and the scent of sandalwood coming from the other side of the door, Alec could swear he is at their loft, just like he could swear that Magnus is brewing a batch of his sandalwood shampoo.

Did Magnus add a room to the loft while he was away?

It shouldn’t be this difficult to remember, but everything is blank. It’s only when he sits at the edge of the bed and sees his reflection in the mirror that his brain finally catches up with the situation.

This isn’t his face, he is glamoured as a Mundane.

And he isn’t home because the mission isn’t over yet.

He is still in India in the 18th century…

Great.

Alec heaves a long sigh and falls back on the mattress, wincing as the room spins around him. He was so sure he was home, so sure that this whole nightmare was finally over. But no. The demon they had to kill was harder to find, making them miss the new moon, miss the ritual and forcing them to wait another month in a place and time they were never supposed to be.

So no, he isn’t home. Far from it.

His memories are coming back, but what drove him here is still a mystery. What happened?

It was Magnus with him earlier, and it’s him in the next room. That’s a certainty.

Everything starts spinning again, and Alec has to close his eyes.

What did he tell him? Not too much hopefully, nothing that can’t be put under the account of being injured and groggy, right? How long was he unconscious? Did he miss the new moon again? The thought makes him sit back up, swallowing a moan because his right arm is really hurting.

He can’t wait another month here.

He can’t.

He needs to go home, he needs Magnus, his Magnus. He is sick of falling asleep in beds that are too small, too cold, and too hard. Sick of waking up and having quick breakfasts amongst the other Shadowhunters like he used to do when everything inside of him felt wrong. He wants his life back. Now.

Jace would tell him to stop overreacting, but he doesn’t know what a life with Magnus is. He doesn’t know that nothing compares to this life they are building year after year. Jace doesn’t know, he can’t.

Tears start prickling at the corner of his eyes. Alec is just so tired… It almost makes him regret this blissed state of half-consciousness from earlier where everything felt like a dream.

In the next room, he hears Magnus make a contented noise, humming in approval and commenting to himself like he often does when he tries something new in his apothecary or in the kitchen. Without realizing it, Alec stands up, feeling much lighter. Quiet and calm are replacing the spiraling storm inside his head. There’s nothing like Magnus being happy to make him forget about everything wrong in the world.

It pains him to think he should escape through the window. He has no idea how he ended up here, at Magnus’s or what he told him. It would be safer to escape.

But on the other hand, isn’t that exactly why Magnus didn’t travel with him? Or why he made sure to add a protection spell to Alec’s glamor? They all knew this could happen. This Magnus won’t be able to detect his glamor, his Magnus won’t arrive to save him… There really isn’t any danger, is there?

Before he can make a decision, Alec is at the door, already hearing his siblings’ snigger at their lovesick brother. He just… A month and a half is too long. He misses him too much.

It’s impossible to hold back his smile and sudden yearning when he opens the door. It’s the apothecary. The exact replica of the one Alec knows so well by now. He doesn’t have time to observe the details because Magnus is already meeting his stare.

“There’s our mysterious and reckless traveler! How do you feel?”

“Better, thanks.”

“Is it still hurting?” Magnus asks, pointing to Alec’s right arm as he absently rubs it.

The scent of sandalwood and home is so overwhelming that Alec is barely aware of his own answer, or of the fact that Magnus is approaching.

With an elegant movement, he lets a little of his magic rain over Alec’s arm. As it usually does, it curls up around him with a tenderness that leaves him speechless. It makes this Magnus’s face soften, just like it does with his Magnus.

I missed this. I missed you, he wants to say and has to bite his tongue to refrain.

Euphoria fades abruptly when he realizes that this is the second time Magnus has used his magic on him without trying to hide it. Magnus, who isn’t supposed to know him or know that he is part of the Shadow World.

If he is acting like this, it means Alec did or said something he shouldn’t have.

What did he do? How much did he reveal while he was unconscious? Did he doom them forever? Will he come back to an empty loft? To a life where he doesn’t know Magnus at all?

Maybe he should have escaped through the window after all. He is getting nauseous. His mind sinks into bottomless spirals and the room spins again. It’s too late to play dumb, to withdraw his arm and look scandalized, asking things like What kind of witchcraft is this? It’s not like Alec has ever learned how to lie properly anyway.

Magnus must feel his sudden distress because he gently leads him back to a chair, “There, everything’s alright. Better?”

Alec can’t even nod.

As for Magnus, he is smirking, his eyes glinting with amusement. “Don’t worry, mysterious traveler, I don’t know a thing about you.”

Apparently, glamor or not, Magnus can still read him like an open book. Alec doesn’t know if it should make him scared or make him fall in love a little more. Maybe both. Definitively the latter.

“Good,” Alec can’t help replying and regretting it immediately because the amusement on Magnus’s features fades away. He knows his husband enough to know that this mysterious traveler must intrigue him. While healing him, he probably felt a lingering taste of magic, of his own magic without really understanding it.

“Come with me,” he eventually says. “You should eat something.”

*

Magnus’s kitchen makes Alec smile too.

Once, Magnus told him he used several decades of his life to perfect his cooking skills, even owned a restaurant. Something fancy and prestigious that still exists, where he took Alec for their tenth anniversary.

Seeing what can only be called a mess in the kitchen, Alec wonders if this is when Magnus started experimenting.

Usually, Alec gets nervous around mess, but never around Magnus’s. There is always a certain beauty about it, something that reflects his mere soul. Herbs are hanging from the ceiling, drying, diffusing the light in shades of rosemary, wild citrus, and marjoram. On the countertop next to the window are several bowls turned upside down to protect what Alec can only call mixtures. He frowns before remembering that one of Magnus’s obsessions in cooking were mushrooms. The rare and disgusting kinds if anyone were to ask him.

But what Alec finds the most endearing are the vegetables. He knows how Magnus likes to sort them out and visibly, he has kept the same habits in centuries. He sorts them out by colors, giving every corner of the room the right shade of red, yellow, green, or purple.

It’s all about the colors and how each piece reflects the light around, my dear, Magnus explained once. Would you like to help?

It was fun. It was more like Alec was fumbling with everything Magnus gave him than helping, but it felt like watching his husband apply his makeup or redecorate their home. Magnus was opening up for him, letting him share his view of the world, and it was mesmerizing. The world as a work of art. That was something new to Alec, and after getting a taste, he couldn’t get enough. Every detail pointed out by Magnus was like a revelation to him.

He is still daydreaming when Magnus starts cooking something, using some magic to speed things up. It stresses Alec again to watch his future husband use magic in front of him – a stranger. What happened?

“Please, have a seat, it will be ready soon.”

“Thanks.”

Alec does as he is told, not really knowing where to start, not wanting to make things worse by saying the wrong thing. He is about to ask what day it is when Magnus reads his mind again.

“I found you last night, some meaningless demons were after you. I wondered what demons could want with a Mundane in the middle of the night when I saw you draw a sword out of thin air. I thought you were a Shadowhunter, but I don’t see any rune or glamour.”

He stops for a while, deep in thought, allowing Alec the time bask in relief.

“You had almost all of them killed, and I was about to let you handle it when one of them bit you, and you collapsed. The thing poisoned you. It’s meant to affect your memory of them. Some kind of defense mechanism to make sure you don’t remember any of it.”

Oh.

Alec means to thank him, but Magnus continues in a more cautious voice.

“I’m guessing asking you who you are is useless, huh?” he turns slightly, enough for Alec to get a glimpse of his expression. Curiosity. Alec swallows thickly.

“I… I wish I could tell you, but it’s um—”

“Dangerous?”

“Yeah, sorry.”

Magnus sighs. “I figured. You said that a lot this morning… Normally, I’d try harder, but there’s clearly something unique about you.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know. It’s…something about the way my magic responded to you, or rather how your body accepted it like it would oxygen, and at the same time, something was keeping me out.”

“I’m sorry, I really can’t say a thing.”

“It’s alright. I have nothing but time to figure it out, and you must have a lot of fascinating stories to tell. I want to spend a nice evening for a change.” On those words, Magnus brings food to the table and smiles. “Shall we?”

Thousands of memories instantly bloom in Alec’s mind from the seeds of these words and this smile.

To appease his homesick heart, Alec answers what he always does, re-enacting a cherished routine he has been craving for the last month and a half. “After you.”

[bytheangell]

Unwanted Reminders

((A/N: Some angst no one asked for, based on those Malec Opera Outing photos from the auction))  (Read on AO3)

Magnus flips through the series of photos taken of him and Alec outside of the Sydney Opera House, trying to find the best one since Alec insists on having one framed for his desk at the Institute. He almost didn’t go at all - without his magic to portal them there it was suddenly an inconvenience, but they had the tickets for months now and Catarina had no problem opening a portal for them.

At least, that’s what Alec had told him, because Magnus couldn’t even bring himself to ask the favor. In fact, he tried to cancel the entire thing since Alec hadn’t seemed overly enthusiastic about the tickets when he first got them (even though he agreed to go, because he always agreed to anything that meant the two of them spent time together). The second Magnus tried to cancel, however, it was as if this was the only thing Alec wanted to do in the entire world and he would simply die if they didn’t go.

Magnus knows what he’s doing. Alec’s trying to be subtle but he knows how much Magnus was looking forward to this before and he’s doing whatever he can to keep everything as normal as possible. No cancelled plans. No changed habits. He’s ordering takeout and renting movies like Magnus isn’t losing time on his life by the second for the first time in centuries; like he can’t feel the life ebbing out of him with each tick of the hands on the clock spent going about their daily routines together. Magnus is certain that Alec would’ve bought them both plane tickets to Australia if that’s what it came to not to allow Magnus’ lack of magic to interfere with this mini-vacation they had planned.

So Magnus went.

He did enjoy himself, and for a little while he managed to forget about everything else. It was just him, and Alec, and a night away from any duties and obligations and reminders . For a little while it was the breath of fresh air Magnus didn’t realize he needed so badly.

But now, looking through the photos, all he sees are reminders that nothing is the way it was when he planned this trip. There are wrinkles on his face that weren’t there before. His hair falls down at the sides weighed down by the height and volume and not quite enough product. The ascot around his neck is only there to cover a scratch one of the strays left when he picked her up the wrong way earlier that day and she lashed out across his chest - a wound he couldn’t heal with magic before they had to leave. The dark circles under his eyes that no amount of makeup will seem to erase entirely, from sleepless nights and early mornings to keep the facade of a normal routine going.

Does Alec look at this photo and see only the smiles, remember only the music and the scenery and the couple on vacation who laughed as they hit the wrong button on his phone three times before managing to snap a few pictures? Or does he look at it and, like Magnus, remember having to call Catarina early when there was an issue at the Institute and Alec had to come back a day sooner than planned? Or how they never made it to the restaurant they wanted to go to because it took too long to get a taxi, which ended up stuck in traffic. 

He’s printing the photo because Alec wants it, but he suddenly can’t imagine why Alec would want to keep any reminders of him as he is now… reminders of the burdens of a life he never signed up for.

[nanu-hammies]

I’m not even gonna ask for a drumroll this time. I shall present this to you

https://archiveofourown.org/works/38799924/chapters/97498074

We are getting so close to the end of this work but I will keep working on various other works. Maybe some Dungeons and Daddies, if y’all would be interested? 👀

Sound off in reposts which fandom y’all would like to see me tackle. I’m open for any new ones.

[that-one-anxious-mango]

I’ll Bite Em’

Summary: You’re not having a good day, but Austin comes to the rescue after you give him a bit of panic. 

Contents: Tad bit of Angst. With Fluff.  Mentions of childhood trauma Use of Pet names. Loyal Doggo. Concerned Partner. Emotional and vulnerable reader. Implied future smut.  

Austin Butler x Black! Reader

A/N: HI! And welcome to the Days of Our Love series. I was inspired to start this series by none other than @cevansbrat0007​ after throughly enjoying her growing pains series (which is bomb go check it out.) I really liked her style of piecing together one-shots to create one big story universe! It’s super dope! SO I thought I’d give it a try! Hope you like it!

PS This is very first publishing on here. Would love feedback :)

                                               __ _____ __

Today just wasn't your day.

And what did you do on days like these? You put on an old comfy sweater and go sit on your bathroom floor to cry.

That's exactly what you were doing now and had been doing since you'd arrived back to your shared loft about two hours ago.

Although some may think it was probably a peculiar place to come and drown your sorrows, it wasn't for you. Infact, even as a youth and teen growing up whenever you needed a place to just be and let it out, you opted for your bathroom. And maybe that was part in partial to you never having a door on your room as a kid.

Parentals weren't big on privacy.

So the habit just stuck.

And now here you were. Back against the door of your bathroom trying to let out all the days frustrations and quickly clean up your face before Austin got home.

It wasn't that you didn't feel enough comfortable around your boyfriend, or you couldn't cry around him. It was that you didn't really feel comfortable crying around anybody. So, you just wouldn't want him to think you were pushing him away or have him feel offended because you didn't want him to see you like this. It was just a you..thing. Plus, with everything going on with press interviews and preimeres. Why burden the man.

Hell, you'd already practically gave Magnus a heart attack at the way you sobbed when you'd first entered the home and seen the excited pup who was expecting an equally excited human to greet him. Instead, as soon as you had shut front door to the outside world you had broken down against the wall for a bit. Magnus had immediately gone into action jumping your legs and producing tiny barks and whines that you figured translated into, ' Oh my gosh who am I gonna bite ' and ' You dumb human lean down here so I can love! '.

And through hiccupped breaths you'd managed to keep telling the concerned creature that you were fine as he followed you through the house and up the stairs to the bedroom whining all the while listening to your sniffles as you changed out of your clothes.

You then had to practically pry him off your ankles from trying to follow you into the bathroom.

So now he laid faithfully on the other side of the door huffing and whining for to just open the damn door and let his wet kisses and puppy breath fix all your problems.

But you'd be fine.

You just had to finish having your moment and be out before Austin got home at six thirty.

You used your phone to check the time.

5:12

Perfect.

You sighed closing your eyes and leaning you head back in peace.

The peace then lasted all of twenty-five seconds before you heard the chime of the home security system followed your man's voice calling out through the place.

Well, I’ll be damned.

" Hey baby it's me. Baz decided last minute that he wanted to rewrite one of the scenes that was supposed to be shot today. So, it got pushed back and I got to come home early to my best girl and hound." You heard him announce. Right now, he was probably walking into the living room expecting to see you in some type of lounge wear binging an afternoon show with Magnus ideally sitting on your thigh.

And you were right.

As soon as Austin hadn't heard you immediately respond back, he figured you were head deep into a show and didn't hear a word he'd said. It'd had happened a few times.

Setting his keys and belongings on the kitchen island chair he chuckled to himself thinking about what you could possibly be watching today. But instead, he was taken aback to see the empty dark room.

No you. No Magnus either.

Weird. He thought.

But brushed off the thought when he then figured that you may be in your office with your headphones in going over some type of new screen play with a comatose Magnus at your feet.

Making his way there he popped open the door and felt slightly uneasy seeing all the lights off in the seemingly untouched space.

Alright what's going on? He thought.

He knew you had to be home since your car had been in the garage when he'd pulled in. And plus, he couldn't remember you texting him earlier of any plans to be out you had.

Raking his brain in building worry as he climbed the stairs, he called out again,   " Sugar mama! Baby, You up here? "

You could hear the slight octave drop in his voice that was laced with slight concern making your eyes begin to water.  This is exactly what didn't want. To make him upset.

The closer his footsteps got the tighter your chest felt.

Entering into the room Austin could feel a small bit of relief wash through his body at seeing your belongings spread on the bed and side table.

So where were you?

And then he popped in his head.

Bathroom.

His baby was probably in the shower on second set of your world tour singing to your hearts content while you got clean.

And Austin couldn't wait to be your personal background singer. A small smile returning to his face as he turned the corner of the bedroom to be met with a dreary looking Magnus posted by the door.

His lips set into a line bending down to rub the dog's head in greeting, " Hey bubs? What ya' sitting out here looking so sad for? Huh? You sad because Mama is in the bathroom? " He inquired earning a low whine.

He couldn't help but be affected by the hound's little pout, " Don't worry. I'm gonna go in and we'll both be out in a little bit. Maybe then we can see if we can convince Mama to go on an evening walk with us. How that sound? " He watched the dogs head slightly lift at the mention of a walk.

Grinning Austin patted Magnus's head once more before standing up to knock on the door making you hold in the whimper that wanted to escape your hoarse throat as you hugged your body tighter.

" Y/N. Sweetheart it's just me. " He informed reaching to turn the doorknob, only for a sense of shock to waft in him upon seeing it wouldn't budge. It was locked.

You never locked doors. Ever.

Even when you took time to tend to not so appealing humanly functions, usually at the sound of Austin's feet on the floor you'd just let him know the spot was occupied and you'd soon be out.

So, all this put together with the fact that he didn't hear the faint hum of water cascading at all made his stomach drop and him begin to more aggressively shake the knob.

" Y/N baby you in there? You, okay? Why's the door locked, Sweetheart? C'mon and open it for me." He spoke managing to let a little bit of panic slip out in his tone.

Taking a deep breath, you composed yourself to reply while trying to hide any sort of out of the ordinary sound in your voice, " Y-yeah baby I'm fine, " you rang back clearing your throat, " I'm just in here cleaning myself up a bit. That's all babe. I'm fine." You finished slowly raising up from the floor to go to the sink to wash the dried tears away and make your eyes as less red and puffy as possible.

Uh Uh. That's not right. Was Austin's immediate thought.

Even though you'd covered up most of the emotion in your talk, Austin could still pick out the parts that slipped making him all the more anxious for you to open the door.

He most definitely needed to see you. Now.

" Okay.  But I hear you sound fine every day, and this doesn't sound it. Come and open the door, darling. Would you please. I need to see your face, Y/N. And I think our little guy down here does too." He looked down at Magnus who'd begun to softly paw at the bottom door opening. " Hes out here getting antsier than a bat about to take a driver's test. And I understand the feeling."

From the sink where you were dabbing your eyes you could see the little paws poking underneath the door. And then a tiny huffing nose.

Awe. Your little guy was such a sweetie pie. Always wanting to comfort and love upon you and Austin all the time. He was definitely your cuddle bug. You loved him to death.

Too bad you needed him to beat it. Along with his sweet owner.

" Here I come babe. Just one second." You continued dabbing at your puffy under eyes. Your eyes themselves had slightly dimmed in color but not much. They still looked as if someone had poured faint cherry paint in them.

"Alright. Cause I wanna see those pretty brown eyes baby. Bad." He said thinking about you.

Fuck. Fuckity. Fuck. FUCK.

He's gonna know something’s wrong.

Then your mind shifted.

He already knows.

And you knew that already deep down in your gut.

You could hear his heavy sigh on the other side of the door where he was leaned up against it. Still trying to hold on to the sliver of patience he could hold waiting for you to open it up so he could settle the thumping sensation in his chest. He hadn't really ever seen you like this. Upset before? Sure. Upset like this? Never.

Taking a last look, you wanted to cry then all over again looking at your appearance.

You looked nuts.

You had a scarf over your box braids. One of Austin's long sweaters hung on your body, and you had mix matched poka dot fuzzy socks on. And your eyes looked like someone had squeezed lemons in them. Great! Taking the sleeve of the sweater you brush back a stray tear that left your face as you reached to face the man on the other side.

You settled on doing a countdown to five.

One.

Fuck I don't think I can do this.

Two

I'm pretty sure that I'm gonna hurl.

Three

SHIT SHIT SHIT

Four

He's gonna look so upset I can't take it.

Five

Last chance to abort!

You silenced your thoughts turning the lock and hearing the click signaling it unlocked, you didn't even get a chance to pull the handle before the door was thrusted open revealing your boyfriend leaned against the doorframe with panic written all over his face slightly disheveled.

You could see his body was stiff while his eyes raked your body for any sign of hurt or trouble. But once his eyes finally came back up to your face that was turned away from him staring off to the side. The ache of wanting to be closer thickened in Austin to let his hand find its way to side gently pulling you into his warm chest.

Accepting you wrapped your arms around his midriff proceeding to smush your face into his chest. It felt good to feel his warm body against yours. He snaked his other arms around your waist placing them tightly there as if it was his way of ensuring you weren't going to run off and hide again.  

Even though he wanted to ask you a full report of who? what? when? And where?

He could sense you didn't need that right now.

Rather, he held you as close as he could and began backing yourselves up together all the way to the bed. Turning he slowly lowered himself down on the bed bringing you down against him until you both lie still tangled up with each other in safe silence.

He knew one of your favorite things do was just to just lay up like this and just talk. It was one of the ways he figured out to get you to open up earlier in your relationship when you were just starting out. And it didn't matter where either. Bed, Floor, Hammock.                                                                                  

     Hell, you guys had laid for hours on the ground of Austin's backyard at his old condo looking up at the black sky sprinkled with stars while you both talked about dreams and such. That was also the night he'd asked you to be his girlfriend.

That night quickly became one of the best one's of his entire life.

That's why it troubled him so to see you like this.

Taking his hand to your back, he used his fingertips to lightly draw circles against you as he pieces together what he was going to say next. Meanwhile you were too busy enjoying being enveloped in his warmth and the melodic thump of his heart.

It was serene.

You could hear the muffled sound in his chest of speech as he started to talk, " Now, " He began, " I don't exactly know what happened today. But I figured tonight I won't pry or make you bring up things that you've been carrying with you all day. You've had enough of that. Hopefully we'll be able to talk about whatever it is over some breakfast tomorrow. " He rubbed your back sensing how more relaxed your body was since he'd started doing it.

" With that being said though, I do want to say that since we've been together, I have noticed that when it comes to things bothering you. You aren't always exactly forthright or quick to tell me, and you sometimes hesitate to come and talk to me. And I don't know if it's because you think I'm too busy, or not interested, which I seriously hope not, or even if you feel scared to come and tell me things. Which I definitely hope isn't true." He listed making you sigh.

A tad bit.

" But with you, God, and that pudgy dog in the corner as my witnesses" He teased earning a small giggle from you which satisfied him, " I want you to know that you are without a shadow of a doubt. THEE. Most important thing in my life. Meaning that no matter where I am or who I'm with you should feel comfortable enough to pick up a phone and call me at the slightest feeling of uncertainty or trouble. Not text, baby. Call. " He emphasized by slightly moving to gently squeeze your shoulder.

“I never wanna see you have to get so worked up to the point to where you feel like you need to lock yourself away from me and everything else. I don’t particularly like that baby.” 

" Because everyone around me knows how important you are to me, and I need you to know too! These arms are always ready to be your safe place and I wanna always here for every little thing no matterwhat or where I am." He stated.

Shifting upward a little bit Austin moved so he'd be able to softly cup your chin making you look up to stare into his cobalt eyes that contrasted your carob ones. You could tell that what he was about to say next was important, " I love you, Y/N Y/L/N. That's not changing. And I ain't going nowhere no time soon so I don't care how long it'll take until you fully understand that all of these things I've said to you, I mean it. But trust that one day you won't hesitate, okay?

You nodded not taking your eyes off his. You could feel prickles of water stinging your waterline. What a man.

" Uh Uh, baby. I need to hear your pretty voice say it." The sternness in his voice involuntarily sent a chill down your body.

" Yes, I understand." You spoke making his cheeks break out into a grin.

" Good because the next person you come and tell me is bothering my girl. I'll bite 'em'" He goofed playfully nipping at your exposed cheek. You laughed along with his huskier baritone at the antics.

" Now that we've got this settled. How about we take our hound dog out for a little walk to the Totem to get us a little treat. " He offered brushing his thumb over your burning cheek.

You swore every time he touched you, it was like a match being dragged on your skin. But in the best possible way.

" I'd like that." You agreed.

" Mhmm. And then maybe when we get back, I might have a treat of my own to give you." You proposed pushing you finger to run along his bottom lip.

" I'd like that." He echoed leaning down to capture your lips against his sending you into a fit of giggles once you felt his hands tickle your sides.

[ao3feed-jonmartin]

A Light on the Heather

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/cE3R98q by The Fluffy Quill (archivist_seajay) Anything would be worth it for this moment, taken ep. 160. The Fluffy Quill presents A Light on the Heather. The Archivist and Martin pop down to the village to do some light shopping. Words: 3944, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: The Magnus Archives (Podcast) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Martin Blackwood Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist Additional Tags: Love, a tiny bit of angst, Self-Doubt, i want to be better, Comfort, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, Fluff, Domestic Fluff, this moment is special because of you read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/cE3R98q