#times.) i thought it deserved a better version and also my friend said i should draw them kissing again so. here you go pal

[carsickcrow]

these guys have been taking up far too much space in my brain for three entire months now. here’s a drawing of them kissing

[pinkkop]

Best BLs of 2024

To my surprise, it appears that we've entered 2025, so before I give myself over to the new year I wanted to share my 15 favourite BLs of 2024 in no particular order. Here we go!!!

🇹🇼 The On1y One

This show came complete out of left field and absolutely blew me away! The slow burn was just so delicious which I actually think is a pretty hard thing to do but with acting this good and a great production quality, it did not ever get too slow or too boring. I just wish they would get a second season because, as I've talked about before, I'm convinced the creators intended for this to be just the first season. I'm still holding out hope for a second season but I do worry that since we haven't heard anything concrete yet that we might not get one.

🇰🇷 The Time of Fever

I already knew this was going to be good since I loved these two in Unintentional Love Story. This is actually very similar to The On1e One and did it just as well but with a slightly different approach. The yearning was palpable in the best way possible!

It's such a pity that it seems like the Korean BL market is struggling right now but this show was no disappointment. Would love a sequel to Unintentional Love Story now because I need to see these two finally get their shit together.

🇹🇼 Unknown

Taiwan does gray area stories so well and this was a perfect example. It was so delicious to witness Yuan just love and yearn for Qian and just get stronger and stronger in the conviction that he was made for loving Qian. I'm also just weak for a character who doesn't think much of themselves and don't believe they deserve to be loved like their romantic interest wants to and then for them to finally cave to the persistence of their romantic partner. Could watch a trillion of those types of pairings and this show was a really good take on the trope.

🇰🇷 Love for Love's Sake

This was an odd one but I really liked the concept. The acting, plot and production was really good and I liked how this added something fresh. It's a similar type of pairing as Unknown so again this was right up my alley. One of these days I should look at all my favourite shows and see how often this dynamic pops up because I bet it's a lot. 

🇹🇭 Cherry Magic th

Is this the same type of pairing as both Unknown and Love For Love's Sake?!  You bet it is!!!

Tay and New were just so good in this. I loved that they're both actual dorks but Karan is just better at hiding it so Ashi believed Karan was better than him. In reality they were just the same and perfect for each other. Also I just absolutely love this version of Karan because, as I said before, he' was's such a dork and hearing his inner thoughts through Ashi's powers was such a highlight of this show. Favourite scene was in the bus when Ashi leaned on Karan's shoulder and you just heard Karan's internal screaming. Such a mood!! It just made Karan so much more down to earth and I think Ashi and Karan are one of the few BL pairings where I can imagine them being together for the rest of their lives because they'd be both best friends and lovers.

I did struggle with the Pai character because she was such a good female character and representation of the struggles a lot of woman have. I so badly wanted her to stay single and happy on her own and it felt unnecessary to pair her with Rock. Even more so because her Japanese counter part was actually asexual so I would have loved for Pai to have a similar story line.

🇯🇵 25 Ji, Akasaka de

Just so much pining!!! And another character feeling unworthy of their romantic interest but I feel like this was slightly different, more in an idolizing way and Japan does that really well. 

🇨🇳 Blue Canvas of Youthful Days

This was such a raw feeling show and s big surprise coming out of China. It felt real and raw without feeling like it was low quality. I loved both pairings so much and maybe I'm a masochist but I loved having my heart broken every week.

It didn't quite stick the landing but honestly, with it being China, I'm not surprised the ending got muddled and famously I don't mind when a show doesn't stick it's landing (See my love of HIStory3: Make Our Days Count). It's still worth watching so much and I will definitely watch it again myself. 

🇹🇭 Every You, Every Me

I already enjoyed Top and Mick in their segment of My Universe so I was very excited for this one. This was also a nice surprise because I was just expecting another anthology show but the way they connected the couples was really clever. The ending was a little weak but again here, I didn't think it really hurt the show too much, it just meant this is a good show that could have been even more amazing.

I feel like Top and Mick really proved themselves in this and I really hope that we get more of them. They're a rare pairing that don't visually have a clear top/bottom dynamic while also being good enough actors to be able to both pull of playing both roles.

🇹🇭 I Saw You in My Dream

This was a cute little show and I was happily surprised that they pulled off the more ambitious concept of the prophetic dreams. Both couples were really great and I had such a good time watching along. 

🇨🇳 Meet You at the Blossom

Finally a Wuxia BL from China, by the help of Thailand and Taiwan. This was all I wanted it to be and I can't wait to see how these actors do going forward with them being Chinese and all. I hope we get more Wuxia BLs because this was soooo much fun. I loved both main and secondary characters and pairings and the plot was just the right amount of unhinged.

🇹🇭 We Are

I was worried about this show having so many couples and episodes but I loved how they intertwined and balanced the pairings and gave us a show which was engaging and interesting all the way through.

I love me some found family and all the pairings were great in their own ways. I did particularly love Peem and Phum. It's the hurt character with walls so high all over again (adds another tally to the count). To be honest PhumPeem are still rotating in my mind to this day which I think is a testament to how well this show was executed.

🇹🇭 Spare Me Your Mercy

This was such an engaging watch and it was so cool to get another BL which was really a romance second and another genre first. The crime and mystery of this show was really great and the production quality fit really well. I talked in this post about it struggling with only having 8 episodes which I wholeheartedly think is most of the reason why this show is just good and not absolutely amazing. 

🇯🇵 Takara no Vidro

Another little gem of a show with characters who are perfect for each other but don't believe they're worthy of the other person. Japan does this really well so this was a success. 

🇹🇭 Pit Babe

This was a wild ride with a wild plot and concept but it committed to the bit and made me really invested in the characters and made it easy to get on board with the ABO dynamic of this show and what it meant for the plot.  

🇰🇷 Love in the Big City

This was a top tier QL! It's one of those BLs that are really more about the realities of being queer than the romance which is when a ton of people pop out of the woodwoork to debate whether this is a BL or Queer Media™ as if the latter is inherently better than the first, which is a ridiculous sentiment. Sure, if you don't want to call this a BL because the focus is much more on the realities of being Queer in South Korea then I'm not going to burn you at the stake but don't make this out to be better than BL as a whole. BL is Queer Media and not inherently worse or better than other queer media, especially the kind that don't focus on romance. Anyways, a small tangent.

This show is great and well worth a watch. I don't know if I'll ever watch it again personally because it just left me feeling so raw and too seen. 

[waynes-multiverse]

The Exit Strategy – Part 4

Summary: Russell is ready to hang it all up and retire, open up a brewery, and enjoy the rest of his civilian life. However, there’s one important thing missing before he can take the big plunge. Luckily, he knows just the right person to help him find it.

Pairing: Russell Shaw x Female!Reader

Warnings: 18+, language, fluff, some angst & feels, family secrets, spy stuff, a bit of spiciness

Word Count: 6.5k

A/N: Welcome back, friends! We're diving a bit into Shaw family secrets this week – fully Wayne's version, though. While I did read the books, there's no major spoilers**, so don't you worry. I just played with an idea here 🤓 I also won't be fully diving into the Shaw family life, but some things are heavily hinted to be... fishy here 👀 Enjoy & let me know what you think! 🤍

**There's a small part where Russell tells Colter about their parents. It's mentioned in the books that their mother was a psychiatrist. I took that and ran with it 🤷‍♀️

Main Masterlist || Series Masterlist || Tag List

Part 4: This Is Not an Exit

“You’ve been walking down memory lane a lot tonight,” you teased with a nudge of his ribs, still tightly cuddled in his warm embrace in the freezing basement.

“Haven’t you?”

“No, I have,” you admitted with a melancholic sigh. “Maybe we should stop dwelling on the past so much. Think more about the future…”

Russell scoffed a small chuckle. “Dory said something similar not that long ago. Actually the reason why I came here.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he sighed, his fingers absently drawing circles on your arm. “I think it’s time we retire, sweetheart. I mean, after everything we’ve been through, I think we deserve to, right? You know, sometimes I wake up in the morning, and I’m surprised we’re even still here, considering how many war zones we’ve been in.”

“Well, you know what they say – beware the old soldier because he’s old for a reason,” you said with a smile.

“Yeah, think I might be getting a little too old…” Russell chucked lightly, running a hand through his long hair. “So? What d’you think? One last hurrah, and then we hang this up? I was thinking maybe we could open up a brewery, you know? A family place. Bet the kids would love it.”

“Sounds nice,” you said with a yearning smile. You wanted all of that and more. “I’d love to retire with you.”

“But?”

You laughed slightly at his anticipating look. “But I don’t think you can yet.”

His eyebrows drew together till they met above the bridge of his freckled nose. “What d’you mean? I just told you I’m ready.”

“You say you are, but you aren’t,” you replied like the annoying Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland. “Have you solved the murder yet?”

Russell licked his lips, which was his telltale sign that you caught him there. After all, you knew him better than anyone in this world – knowing when he needed to be pushed and shoved was part of it.

“No, but I don’t need to anymore. Look, the only reason I wanted to solve it was because I thought I had to prove my innocence to Colter. And well, turns out I didn’t. He believed me anyways, so…”

“That wasn’t the only reason,” you reminded him with a scrutinizing look.

“Maybe, but like I said – Dory thinks we should keep all this bullshit in the past, and after the last three years, I’m starting to agree with her,” Russell said, dragging a hand over his face.

“Look, if that’s what you want–”

“It’s what I want,” he assured you and placed a hand on your thigh, gently squeezing it. “Having my little brother and sister back is enough. I don’t need more. Nothing good ever comes from being greedy.”

You nodded in understanding, clearing your throat. “Still, in the name of our deal to always be honest, I kinda have to confess something.”

Rising from your seat, you dusted off your awful, flowery skirt and wandered to the wall safe once more, retrieving a thick folder from it. You took your place next to Russell again, his questioning eyes meeting yours as you handed him your research.

“When you didn’t come back after a year or so, I started looking into it as well. Might have done a full deep-dive,” you admitted with a bite of your lip.

Russell shot you a chiding look, shaking his head, but most of all, he was worried. “I told you to leave it alone. You don’t know what sorta people we’re dealing with here, but we do know they’re dangerous.”

“I know. I just wanted to help. Figured I could speed it along. I do have more access than you,” you countered softly. “I’m sorry, okay? But I was careful. I promise.”

“Good,” he said and looked at you, interlacing your fingers with his. “‘Cause the last thing I want is losing you over this bullshit, too.”

Nodding, you squeezed his hand in reassurance. “There’s something you should know, though.” He raised his brow anew – you’d always been full of surprises. Life certainly had never been boring. “Someone accessed the files after me.”

“Who?”

“I don’t know. Definitely had a higher clearance than me, though,” you replied.

Russell threw his arms up, and you could see he was getting more upset again. “See? This is what I’m talking about! The whole point of us separating was to keep you and the kids away from it. Otherwise, we could’ve just stayed together, and I could’ve joined Horizon anyways.”

“I know that, too,” you said remorsefully. “But don’t worry. I wasn’t followed, and no one ever came after me. I made sure of it. It’s been two years now. They probably figured it was nothing after I didn’t reach out to you straight away.”

“Still… I don’t want you involved, alright?”

“What about Colter? Doesn’t he want to know? He doesn’t strike me as someone who just lets things go,” you noted observantly.

Russell clicked his tongue – a sign of defeat. “He isn’t, but he’s not gonna find anything either. I mean, the only reason I know is because you were so relentless and kept digging.”

“You haven’t told him what we found out?”

Russell licked his lips and admitted quietly, “No. I don’t think it does anyone any good to keep looking into this.”

Leaning forward and hugging your knees, your head bobbed pensively. “I thought you guys talked about what happened?”

“We did. Kinda… It’s complicated,” he stated, swallowing. “Dory was easy, you know? I guess she never really believed it… But it took a while till Colter even picked up the phone, let alone answered a goddamn text message. Had to get a little annoying.”

You smirked. “Well, you’re good at that. That’s how you won me over.”

“By being persistent?”

“Exactly. Like a tardigrade.” You grinned. “I mean, you kind of are doing it now again, too.”

He chuckled quietly. “Yeah, guess so.”

“Is that why you haven’t told him about me and the kids? Because you’re not sure about him yet?”

“Partially, yeah,” he admitted. “I guess I wanted to protect you. And maybe myself a little, too… Not sure I’m ready for those two worlds to meet yet, you know? I mean, you and the kids are the best things that ever happened to me, and when I look at Colter or Dory, I’m sometimes reminded of the worst things in my life.”

“What about your mother?”

Russell let out an exhaustive sigh that was half amused. “Geez, you haven’t changed a bit. You still ask the most uncomfortable questions possible.”

You laughed a little. “Gathering intelligence in uncomfortable ways is kind of my job, Shaw.”

“Yup, and no one’s better at it than you, sweetheart,” Russell quipped.

“So I’m guessing it’s a no on Mommie Dearest?”

Russell licked his lips, shaking his head. “I don’t wanna see her. Mostly because I don’t even know what to fucking say anymore,” he said. “I don’t want her to meet the kids either.”

“It’s okay,” you assured him and took his hand in yours. “It’s your choice, Russ. We go at your pace, alright?”

“Thank you.” Russell brought your intertwined hands to his lips, kissing the back of your hand before he looked at you deeply, a smile dancing across his plump lips. “I love you.”

You mirrored his smile, your heart fluttering like a wild butterfly in your chest. “I love you, too.”

“I’ll tell them – Dory and Colter. I want this to work,” he promised. “Just… after we finish this. I want him to have a clear head. I prefer not to get him killed, you know?”

“I get it. I thought the same thing when I first met you, too,” you joked, patting his chest. “But you brought him into this. It’s kinda on you.”

Russell scratched his bearded chin. “Yeah, but I didn’t exactly know what I’d bring him into.”

“Didn’t you, though?”

Amused, Russell bobbed his head. “Yeah, maybe I did,” he acknowledged. “You know, when Manny called me–”

Your eyes widened. “Manny called you?”

Russell blinked at you, brow creased in confusion. “Yeah, why?”

“That motherfucker…”

Furiously, you stomped to the desk and grabbed the radio. “Drone-5. This is Queen Bee-1. Report to Hive.”

The static of the radio cracked almost instantly, as if the idiot had been waiting all night for this call. “Yo, Queen Bee-1. How’s my boy?” Manny’s laugh echoed through the basement.

Russell’s glowing cheeks reached his eyes when he heard his friend’s voice. He’d known the guy almost as long as Doug.

“You’re the one who fucking told him?!” you yelled into the radio, almost crushing the device in your hand.

“To be fair, I told him not to engage with tango,” Manny sheepishly replied.

“Ha-ha, funny. Fuck you,” you huffed and tossed Russ the walkie-talkie. He caught it with one hand.

His boyish grin widened as he pushed the button. “You know, Drone-5, you could’ve told me you were actually working this thing.”

“Aw, you know I can’t do that. But I guess congrats on crashing another operation. You’re Worker Bee-3 now. Old habits die hard, huh?” Manny chuckled.

“Yeah, I guess…” Russell replied with a lighthearted chuckle, but his teeth tugged pensively at his lips.

“Great to have you back, brother. Hope this works out for you. See you on the other side, man. Oh, and could you move like three feet to the left and turn the washer off? We can barely hear and see you guys, and Drone-2 just ran out to grab popco–”

“No, absolutely not. Out,” you snapped as you grabbed the radio from Russ. He laughed as you put it furiously back on the desk. You knew what you had signed up for, but you still deserved some privacy. Annoyed, you took off your cross necklace – another bug – and settled down beside him again.

“What did he say when he called you?”

“Nothing much, really. Just told me your coordinates and that you like to pick up your mail at three o’clock at the local post office,” Russell replied.

You shook your head, smiling. “Well, he always loved you, so…” You started to chew on your lower lip, the anxiety in your belly returning. For the sake of your mind and heart, you had to make sure Russell was fully back, and this wasn’t just a fluke. “You know, I worry sometimes that if you don’t face this thing with your family, you’ll always feel this way. I mean, after Lewis was born–”

“I know.” Russell nodded, swallowing thickly. He saw the worry shimmering in your eyes, and it cracked his heart a little. “I know I kinda lost it there. Took me by surprise, too. Trust me. Figured I had dealt with all that shit already, you know? But I guess seeing you with him and feeling all that love myself, I just-… I don’t know. I don’t know how she could do it… Ashton was one thing, but she just stood by. And I don’t even know what the hell she was up to while he took us out into those woods…” He shook his head as if to rattle the answer out of his brain. “And then when we found out you were pregnant again… I mean, I’d barely held it together with Lewis. Everything just became a blur. I couldn’t think straight anymore, and I worried all the time I’d be like them…”

“I tried to help,” you said softly.

“I know you did. Guess this was just something I had to figure out on my own,” he replied with a beat shrug.

“How’s your vision now? Still blurry?”

“Clearer than ever.” A smile flickered alive on his lips, green eyes boring into yours as he leaned in and kissed you slowly like he meant every word. Blowing a raspberry, he then turned his attention to the file in his lap. “So, what am I gonna find in there?”

“Honestly, nothing we haven’t already puzzled together,” you replied, teeth gnawing on your bottom lip. “But I found a couple of names associated with your parents. Thought maybe you could look at them and see if you recognize the person you saw in the woods.”

“I already know where this is going…”

“Russ, please, just–”

Russell interrupted you, placing a soothing palm on your thigh that curbed your enthusiasm. “I’ll think about it, alright?”

Satisfied, you raised two placating hands. “All I was asking…”

“How was the lasagna?”

After four hours in the basement, you and Russell quietly treaded up the stairs a few minutes after midnight, finding Colter in the kitchen, eating leftovers out of the ceramic form in the warm glow of the stove light. Tom, on the other hand, had passed out on the couch, only the blue flickers of the TV and the soft noises of a peaceful nature documentary filling the silence of the dark living room.

“Excellent,” Colter stated, swallowing down a mouthful of lasagna before speaking. “I told Tom he should be a chef in a restaurant or something.”

Russell’s brow knitted in doubt. “Really? Lemme try.”

“You just ate two entire bags of junk. You can’t still be hungry,” you argued with a giggle, shaking your head.

“It’s lasagna,” Russell said simply, grabbed a fork from the drawer, and dove right in.

That man would eat anything. You’d seen him do it, too. He didn’t even go hungry when he was lost in a desert.

“Wow, that is good,” Russell announced his judgement with a full mouth. “Maybe we should hire Tom for the brewery, huh?”

“I’m guessing this means you two talked?” Colter asked with a carefully arched brow.

“Hmm. I don’t know,” Russell mused in jest. “What d’you say, sweetheart? You taking me back?”

You rolled your eyes at his antics. “Guess I have to. God knows returning you is impossible.”

Russell laughed and slung an arm around your waist, pulling you closer. He kissed your temple.

But then you noticed Colter’s smile falter, his brows creasing in question. “Is your hair different?”

“Shit!”

Wide-eyed, you bolted back down the creaking stairs to the basement, hearing Russell’s laughter fill the kitchen.

“Was she wearing a wig? And her eyes too, right?” Puzzled, Colter tried to piece it all together. He had already figured by your extensive vocabulary of swear words that you might be a better match for his older brother than he had initially surmised.

“Yup, all fake, man,” Russell confirmed and smirked. “Still think she’s not my type yet?”

“No, I can see it now,” Colter admitted, chuckling. “So, you guys are good?”

“Yeah, I think so.” Russell nodded and shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacket, swallowing.

Colter’s smile widened, filling the older Shaw’s stomach with more guilt. “That’s great. Happy for you, man. Guess that means you’re retiring now, huh?”

Russell scratched the back of his neck. “Uh, we’ll see. Always depends on what the wife decides, you know?”

Yup, he sprinkled that important bit of information into a joke. Then, he watched his little brother take a stumped step back, brow furrowing and unfurrowing and then furrowing again.

“Wha-, wife?”

Russell produced a popping sound with his lips like the noise of a bottle when the cork was pulled. Welp, this bottle was surely open now.

“Yup, got married in Thailand in 2011,” he added another helpful tidbit of information, but Colter’s jaw dislodged all the same.

“Alright, got this all figured out,” you said, sauntering back into the kitchen with a pastel pink towel wrapped around your head and a matching bathrobe. You’d just grabbed them from the dryer, the fluffy material still cozily warm. It was the best option, considering you didn’t want to mess around with your wig as well after popping the lenses back in had already cost you most of your patience. In your little bubble of bliss, you hadn’t instantly noticed the brothers staring at you. But once you did, your brows morphed into a frown. “What’s going on?”

“You two are married?” Colter asked, a pointed finger flicking from Russell to you.

You threw your arms up, looking at your husband. “I was gone for five minutes! What happened to telling him after the operation?”

Russell offered you a sheepish shrug. “Well, this old soldier’s getting weak too, apparently.”

“He said it like a joke…” Colter mumbled, still in the middle of processing this new revelation. His older, estranged-but-now-less-strange brother had a wife. A family. Friends. And he knew none of it. What else was there? Kids?

“Yeah, he does that...” You shot your husband a scolding sideways look. “Should I leave you two alone for this?” you then offered, hoping the answer was a goddamn yes.

“Why would you? You’re family, right?” Colter retorted with a dry smile and a sharp look.

You pursed your lips. While you could see some similarities between the brothers, you took note of one big difference: Russell wasn’t as sarcastic and sharp-tongued. Probably because Russell had always been more concerned with what he should, would, or could share with people in an overthinking loop, while his younger brother seemed obviously free of that burden.

“Don’t take it out on her,” Russell stepped in gently, which really was a warning. “She didn’t know about any of this. Kinda pushed her into it.”

“Seems to be your style,” Colter scoffed.

“Can’t work for the CIA without going through a baptism of fire, little brother,” Russell said simply, giving an unapologetic shrug of his shoulders.

“Why would you not tell me?” Colter stared at him, his look a mix of reproach and agitation.

“Look, you weren’t exactly welcoming during our first meeting,” Russell argued with a bit of bark in his deep voice, although confrontation was probably not the best approach. But why should he always have to take the blame for everything? He’d already done that for more than two decades.

“That was months ago,” Colter countered, scowling. “I’d like to think I’ve come around since then… Coulda told me after we saved Doug.”

Russell let out a small sigh of defeat, rolling his eyes back slightly. He rubbed the bridge of his nose. “No, yeah, you’re right. I’m sorry, man, alright?” he apologized earnestly.

With a questioning brow, you carefully nudged your husband’s arm. “What happened to Doug? Is he alright?”

“Yeah, uh, he went to work for Horizon with me. I’ll tell you later, okay?” Russell replied, his voice a lot quieter as if sharing a secret, and if Horizon was involved he probably was.

“Is Tracy okay?”

“She’s fine. Little shook up. You should probably give her a call. Smooth things out,” Russell told you.

Tracy thought you worked in marketing at some company for the government. Whenever you, Russell, and Doug were stuck on a mission, the boys made you call her to “smooth things out” – aka reassuring her everything was certainly fine with her husband and he wasn't in any danger at all. They’d once made you call her from a Black Hawk. The noise had been fun to explain away – you’d told her you were picking up a client from a helicopter pad.

Colter chewed on the insides of his cheeks. “So she knows Doug, too?”

Russell nodded. “Yeah, me and Doug were mostly Delta, but SAD liked to borrow us from time to time. We ran in her team for quite a while. She was actually the one who recruited me.”

At his little wink your way, you smiled. He’d come along way from the sweet boy you had once teased like a special-forces-trained kindergartner.

“Listen, things were obviously a little complicated between me and her the last few years,” Russell (under)stated. “But I’ve brought you here for a reason, okay? Figured it’s time you meet your sister-in-law.”

Eyes drifting from you to Russell, Colter pursed his lips – a tell he shared with his brother.

“Are you mad? I can’t tell.” Frowning, Russell tilted his head.

“No,” you absentmindedly replied for Colter, who gave you a curious look but steered his attention back to Russell.

“No,” the younger Shaw repeated your assumption. “I mean, not more than I was before, you know?”

Russell’s creases only deepened. “No, I don’t know.”

“He means he’s indifferent about knowing or not knowing we’re married because he’s already pissed about not knowing about my existence in general,” you explained.

“Ah. Your nerd is showing, sweetheart,” Russell teased you with a smile that made your heart melt.

“Dory would like her,” Colter commented like the thought had just popped into his head – something else he didn’t share with his brother.

You’d always wondered about the youngest Shaw of the three. Russell could never tell you much about Dory. His memory had been one of a smart and feisty nine-year-old, not a young woman and physics professor.

Thumbing at you, Russell cocked a brow at his brother. “Is she right, though?”

“Spot on, actually.” Colter’s tongue poked his cheek, his gaze flickering with a hint of astonishment and new-found respect for you. “And I guess I’m not really mad either way. Just… surprising, you know? I should’ve asked. That’s on me.”

Russell seemed more than a little baffled to hear this, considering he had to pause to find an appropriate response. “No, uh, we’re good. I could’ve just told you, anyways.”

“Yeah, no, that’s alright.” Colter swallowed, sending his older brother a smile of forgiveness. “Honestly, I was glad to hear you weren’t alone all this time, so…”

Russell’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he pushed down the lump in his throat. With a nod, he averted his green eyes to the kitchen floor. “Thanks, man. Appreciate it.”

“Aw, aren’t you guys adorable,” you teased.

Colter wanted to retort something dry-witted, but Russell held up a warning finger. “Ah – wait for it… Trust me. She’s not done.”

“You girls need tissues or a tampon, maybe?”

“Oh, Dory would definitely like her,” Colter repeated his earlier statement with an amused grin.

Russell, on the other hand, shot you a pointed look, but that had barely ever stopped you before. “Okay, you can lay down. You don’t have to give him the initiation. No hazing my little brother,” he ordered you sternly, and you stifled a snort. “And no one better kidnaps him tonight and puts a bag over his head, alright? I don’t wanna pick him up beaten and bloody from some warehouse tomorrow morning.”

“Hm, what?” Colter’s brow furrowed. For the first time, you could see slight panic spread in his pupils.

Who was hazing who now?

You rolled your eyes in feigned annoyance. “Fine, we’ll leave him alone,” you acted your capitulation.

The younger Shaw blinked at you. “Thank you?”

“Should we at least tell him about the other thing while we’re at it?” you asked Russell with a suggestive look.

Thoughtfully, he paused for a beat, then clicked his tongue. “No, I got it from here. It’s getting late. We’ve been here long enough,” he decided. “This is less becoming a friendly ‘welcome-to -the-neighborhood’ dinner and more starting to look like an orgy to the neighbors. Especially since you’ve put on the robe.”

“It just came from the dryer. Look, it’s so soft and warm,” you argued, pouting, your palms caressing the fluffy material on your arms.

“Uh-huh.”

The little bob of his Adam’s apple made you grin slyly. The way his jaw ticked and his pupils widened with a primal hunger, you could tell he wanted to tear that robe right off of you. The thought caused a shudder to run down your spine.

“What, uh, other thing do you have to tell me?” Colter asked and smiled expectantly, tapping his fingers on the the counter.

Russell, however, grabbed his arm and dragged his curious little brother toward the exit. “I’ll tell you in the car,” he said and thumbed to the front door behind his shoulder. “Wait outside. Gimme five minutes, alright?”

Wordlessly, Colter nodded without argument, gave you a quick goodbye-wave of his hand, and strolled leisurely back to his car as if he knew exactly what his older brother intended to do.

As expected, Russell impatiently conquered your lips, roughly pressing you against the foyer’s wall, your arms draping around his neck.

“What’s the bedroom situation in this place?” he asked between kisses.

“First floor, west side, third window from the right. I’ll leave it unlatched,” you replied, smiling against his lips. “Tom’s always sleeping on the couch. Part of our cover is going to marriage counseling with Pastor Jeff, which happens to work out great for us.”

You exhaled a shuddered breath when one of his hands wandered past the robe and splayed warm against your ribcage, just underneath your breast. His thumb fought an itch to get closer.

“Wouldn’t do that, baby,” you murmured into his ear with an amused smirk. “That boner’s not gonna go away in five minutes.”

“Mmm, I know,” he groaned and dropped his head between your boobs, lips pressing a chaste kiss to your collarbone. If he continued on with this, your arousal would surely streak down your bare thighs soon. Luckily, he had mercy on the both of you. “I’ll talk to him and then come back, okay?”

You nodded with a smile. He kissed your lips, then your forehead, and then disappeared through the door with the same cometary velocity he had entered your vision.

And all you could do was hope you’d see him one more time in your life.

“So?”

4.3 seconds after Colter killed the engine of his pickup in a spot a block away to the west side of your house – as per Russell’s very specific instruction – he stared scrutinizingly at his older brother.

Impatience was also a family trait – one even their father had despised.

“Look, uhm, there’s no easy way to break the news…”

“Is this about you having two kids?”

When Russell’s eyes met Colter’s, he didn’t recognize any anger, hurt or resentment in them – just pure slyness. At least that was good news. His little brother was just going to be annoying about this whole thing.

“Yeah, remember those five minutes you left me alone in the car? I called Bobby. Had him check some things out for me. Wasn’t easy to find. I’ll give you that…”

As expected, Colter was going to be a smartass about it. He figured it out on his own. He won the game.

“Hmm.” Russell pursed his lips, nodding. “You do know the CIA is on your guy’s ass now, right? Shouldn’t have done it in their perimeter, man. Manny’s probably all over this by now…”

Then his brow knit as if the thought of his old friend had provoked an idea, his head tilting with narrowed eyes at the air vents on the dashboard. How long had that car been parked outside and out of sight again?

Like a game of Operation, Russell then used thumb and pointer finger as his tweezers to retrieve a tiny bug – the spy kind.

“Gotcha,” Russell muttered, smirking. He then held the bug close to the speakers of the radio before turning up the volume to its highest setting – only for a second. He switched the radio off, rolled down the window, and threw the unwanted listening device onto the pavement. “That should teach ‘em a lesson…”

Colter cocked an incredulous brow at his brother. “They bugged my car?”

“Oh, trust me, they bug anything they can get their greedy little hands on,” Russell retorted. “Would probably check for a tracker underneath, too.”

“Great, thanks,” Colter huffed wryly.

“Hey, you wanted in. That’s what they do,” Russell reminded him, shrugging, but there was a smile of amusement on his lips.

Colter only bobbed his head. “So, you and her? You guys are good now? Just like that? Seemed… easy. Sorta…”

Russell chuckled lightly, brushing a hand through his beard. He knew his relationship with you was unconventional, but it had always worked for you and him.

“Me and Y/N have a deal, you know? It’s not all black and white. I mean, we became aware a long time ago that the two of us operate in a lot of gray zones. But, uh, we always know we can rely on each other, you know? Doesn’t matter if we’ve been separated by time or space,” Russell explained to the best of his abilities.

“So what happened?” Colter prompted with the same amount of confusion. “Why did you guys split up? I saw on the birth certificate your daughter was only two years old. I mean, did you-… did you even know?”

Russell inhaled deeply, nodding. “I knew she was pregnant. When she told me back then, I-…” He paused, licking his lips. It wasn’t something he had ever talked about with anyone before – not even you. “Well, shortly after that, I had a breakdown and I-… I almost hurt her.” He choked on the words, fighting the sting in his eyes.

He’d tried so hard to forget, wasn’t even sure he had ever really apologized for it to you because he so badly didn’t want it to exist that he’d tried to wish it out of literal existence, and hence, never really blamed you for leaving like you did. He understood. In fact, he had even wished you’d leave. He had convinced himself you’d be better off without him – something he still believed to be true – but he also knew he wasn’t better off without you.

He’d been lost and alone. And maybe, he was being selfish by crashing back into your life now. Or Dory’s. And Colter’s.

“I mean, nothing ever really bad happened. It’s just-… That night I came scarily close,” Russell confessed, swallowing thickly. He still hated himself for that night and everything that followed. “It’s like a switch flipped, you know? I couldn’t do anything against it… And Lewis saw parts of it, and I was already impatient with him and short with her the weeks before, so I just left that night and disappeared for two months. Volunteered for some mission. Figured it was best for everybody.”

It’s better off if he never comes back…

Russell licked his chapped lips. The next part was the hardest.

“When I got back, she told me she got a job offer in another country, and that she would be taking it and taking Lewis with her. She wanted me to use the time to… I don’t know… solve this, I guess.” He let out a humorless scoff at the painful memory.

Russell hadn’t seen it at first, maybe because he hadn’t wanted to, his anger and pain blurring the truth. After his son had been born, Russell knew you could see him struggling, so you started digging deeper into his family and what really happened. And when you’d found something – Horizon – you’d told him you could infiltrate. Naturally, Russell had passed a hard no – it had been a five-hour long fight, but he'd emerged victoriously by the end. So, you’d told him he should do it, but he didn’t want to leave you, and he didn’t want to endanger and jeopardize his family.

He’d told he was fine, but he wasn’t. It kept gnawing on him – and gnawing and gnawing and gnawing… till you eventually pulled the plug and ended his suffering.

“I was exhausted, so I told her we’d talk about it in the morning. When I woke up, they were gone. Didn’t even notice she’d already packed.”

Colter was silent for a beat. “Was it PTSD or something?”

“Or somethin’,” replied Russell.

“But you’re good now?” Colter checked with a warily raised brow.

“Guess so…”

Truthfully, Russell didn’t know if he was or wasn’t. He’d tried hard to figure out what it was exactly that had set him off that night and fix it, but he didn’t know if that feeling would ever disappear for good. He just knew he had never felt that way again since then. But could he guarantee it would never come back?

He didn’t know.

“Look, all I know is, seeing you and Dory again helped, so…” Russell twitched his shoulders and sighed. He didn’t know what else to say, how to explain it better, but Colter seemed to understand anyway, reading between the lines.

Russell worried he’d be like their father.

“I think I get it.” The younger Shaw nodded and licked his lips. “You know, you’re not crazy like Dad was, Russ. I mean, don’t get me wrong, you’re crazy in your own way, but I wouldn’t worry about the other stuff.”

“Well, thanks,” Russell said, not convinced but appreciative of the vote of confidence. “Makes at least one of us…”

“I-, uh, I noticed their names,” Colter then said and clarified, “Lewis and Amelia. Like explorers. Like us.”

“Ah.” Russell smacked his lips and brushed it off, “Wasn’t really my idea. I told Y/N that story once. Guess she took a liking to it..”

“Are you, you know, gonna tell Mom?”

Russell was almost surprised by the question. The brothers had barely talked about their mother since they’d reconnected. Considering Colter had never brought her up again after their first meeting, Russell figured there was a reason for that – and he thought he probably knew the reason, too.

Russell scoffed a chuckle and looked at his little brother with an almost incredulous look. “I think you can guess the answer to that one,” he replied and figured it said enough. “Did you tell her I came back?”

Colter pursed his lips, and Russell took it as a sign of admission. So his mother knew. Great…

“Sorta,” Colter admitted hesitantly.

“What d’she say?” Russell almost smiled out of amusement. He already knew the answer, but his brother still seemed reluctant. “C’mon, you can tell me. I’m not gonna be butthurt after twenty years…”

“She told me to ignore you,” Colter finally confessed, but the words left a bitter taste in his mouth. They had ever since his mother said them, but even more so now that he knew his brother – and parts of the truth.

“Hmm,” Russell hummed with tight lips and ground his jaw.

Granted, the confession stung more than Russell would ever be willing to admit. The tiny, naive part inside of him had constructed a hopeless fantasy of his mother having a sudden change of heart over the last two decades and happily welcoming her firstborn back. Apparently, not a thing had changed, though, and he cursed himself for feeling disheartened.

“But I actually haven’t talked to her in a while now,” Colter added with a small shrug, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel.

“Huh, really?”

“Yeah, uh, and when I did, I didn’t exactly tell her I didn’t take her advice, you know? So…”

“Why not?” Russell’s brow furrowed a little more as he analyzed each word, simultaneously realizing why he had been so reluctant to share his life with Colter before – his subconscious had been afraid his alienated little brother would report back to the mothership.

Colter’s lips pursed. “Because I disagree.”

“Ah.”

Colter chewed on his lower lip. “Look, I know you and Dory wanna keep all of this in the past and play family – and trust me, I want that too,” he assured, but his heart was beating fast in his chest. “But I need to know, man. I need to know why she lied about this for twenty years and, you know, did all of this,” he insisted, and yet, Russell could tell he wasn’t done. He might have broken the dam. “She did it to you. I mean, aren’t you mad?”

“Of course I’m mad,” the older Shaw admitted, but there was no fire behind his words.

“Then why are you so calm?”

Amused, Russell chuckled, shrugging. “Probably ‘cause I’ve been dealing with this a lot longer than you, little brother.”

“So, what are we gonna do now?”

“We ain’t gonna do anything,” Russell clarified, his voice stern. He’d die to protect his family, you and the kids, and do anything in his power to keep you out of it, but Colter was a grown-up – a free agent. If he didn’t want to listen, Russell couldn’t force him. “Look, you wanna find out, you go find out. And if you do find something and need help, you call. But I can’t be involved in this,” he explained, his firm expression morphing into something more vulnerable and sincere. “And frankly, I don’t care that much. You, me, Dory, Y/N, the kids – that’s all that matters, trust me. You’re not gonna feel better or more… whole after finding those answers.”

“How do you know? Do you know what really happened?” Colter instantly asked, and Russell knew in that moment, it’d be hopeless. His brother wouldn’t stop till he found it – forever restless.

“No, I told you. I don’t,” Russell repeated, and while he didn’t know everything, he omitted that he knew something.

“What about Y/N?”

Russell froze at the bare mention of your name, his protective instincts kicking in. “Leave her out of this,” he all but snarled.

But Colter didn’t think about stopping. “Did you ever ask her? I mean, she’s CIA. She could probably find out something, right?”

“Yeah, I asked her once, alright? Was a long time ago,” Russell admitted, sighing. The intended lie would stick better if there was some truth to it – you had taught him that.

“C’mon, Russ… And?” Colter impatiently threw his arms up, brow raising higher and higher as he waited for an answer.

“She never found anything,” Russell said with a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders.

This time, it wasn’t just an omission. It was a blatant lie.

“I think whatever Dad was involved in – or both of ‘em – was just some activist shit. I don’t think the government cares.” Lie. “We both know he had a mental thing. Paranoid, probably schizophrenic… I mean, Mom used to pump him full of meds sometimes when he got too out of hand.” Truth. He then stole a glance at his little brother and saw the confusion shimmering on his face. Russell scoffed. “You didn’t know that, did you?”

Quietly, Colter shook his head.

“Well, you were a kid,” Russell said and hoped it would curb the blow slightly, although he knew better than that. “He always took something as far back as I can remember. She used to prepare his pills every evening after you and Dory went to bed. But when we moved to the cabin, he started refusing to take them. Said they made him ‘not clear-headed enough.’ Kinda ironic,” he shared and snorted. “When it got too bad, though, she’d still crush ‘em into his food.”

Colter took everything in with a nod but didn’t say anything more.

“You good over there?” Russell checked after a full minute had passed.

“Yeah,” Colter said and even tried to form a reassuring smile before the attempt failed. Instead, he swallowed. “Just a lot, you know? I didn’t know. I mean, I had some idea, but not-… not that.”

“Yeah, I figured,” Russell said, his voice almost a whisper in the silence of the night. “Like I said, you were a kid…”

When Russell finally left the car to sneak back to you, his shoulders felt a little lighter and his heart a little calmer. He might just float through that unlatched window tonight.

The bad news was, though, he might not be able to retire just yet.

Part 5: This Is a Start

Honestly, I should've called this chapter "Heart-to-Heart Part II" 😂 I'll see you for the finale next week, but as you know, it's not the end for them – only just the beginning 😉

☕️ Ko-Fi �� Tag List

TAGS:

Forevers: @alwaystiredandconfused @xlynnbbyx @lyarr24 @deans-spinster-witch @blackcherrywhiskey

@deansbbyx @foxyjwls007 @ladysparkles78 @roseblue373 @zepskies

@agalliasi @yvonneeeee @hobby27 @iamsapphine @globetrotter28

@mxltifxnd0m @lacilou @feyresqueen @suckitands33 @onlyangel-444

@syrma-sensei @perpetualabsurdity @deans-baby-momma @yoobusgoobus @jessjad

@hunter-or-the-hunted @k-slla @just-levyy @mrsjenniferwinchester @illicithallways

@muhahaha303 @ultimatecin73 @nancymcl @leigh70 @brightlilith

@nesnejwritings @samslvrgirl @xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx @fromcaintodean @barewithme02

@thebiggerbear @star-yawnznn @thej2report

Series: @deansimpalababy @koalamama @inknopewetrust @never-here1992

[epickiya722]

What's annoying about the bk///dk shippers who have infiltrated the tag with their "bakugou is heartbroken and deserves better and deku should beg for forgiveness" bullshit is that these were the same people who said bakugou deserves a second chance after bullying deku for 10 years. That deku loves him too much to cut him off from his life. But one "no" from deku in 431 and they're acting like he's Satan and bakugou should cut him off from his life. The hypocrisy.

Also them writing revenge fics where baku gets with todoroki and TODOROKI of all people starts hating deku for breaking baku's heart. Lol that's his friend too...he'd be upset for both of them.

You know what's wild to me is that some shippers have already refused to accept that 431 even existed when it was just leaks when only like three pictures and a brief summary was shown but then turned around and continued to act like 431 exist with the whole "it got worse 😭" when it was revealed that Midoriya said no to just working at Katsuki's agency.

If the chapter already made you upset, then why continue to look into it?!

And conveniently decide it was worth paying attention to because Midoriya said "no"?

So you agree? So you agree that Midoriya would definitely say "no" even though you claim he wouldn't, right? You claim that 431 is "fake" and "Hori is a BkDk traitor" but then turn around and apply the "fakeness" to fics and agree to them and also being a traitor.

I know someone is going to say it. Yes, 431 has some weird writing but the responses to it is out of line.

I really hated to see BakuDeku shippers going "Deku should give back the suit" just because he talked to Ochako and dapped her up and I knew it was going to go down hill from there as always.

I immediately started unfollowing people because of it. I never thought I would be so disappointed, but I play myself because it's not like I haven't been disappointed before by the fandom and I had to unfollow people I thought I could be happy to see on my dash.

I don't think the shippers who decided that Midoriya is the worst person in the world for being a grown ass man making his own decisions actually like BakuDeku. Just their versions of it they like because no way for either character you're going to treat one character like he's evil incarnate and baby the other and have him hook up with someone close to both of them.

You're right, it's complete bullshit.

So Bakugou can get a second chance, but Midoriya can't say "no" despite that it would make sense given that he is still adjusting his schedule (keep in mind that 431 takes place possibly right after 430, so little time for Midoriya to even get used to being a Pro Hero and teacher), and would have to go back and forth between home, UA and then an agency (like did Bakugou think about that).

Bad writing or not, you can still make sense of it! If you're creative enough to write revenge fics, you're creative enough to come up with the reasons why Midoriya said "no".

It's not like their relationship is forever ruined or anything. Not like they still can't see each other. Not like they still can't be heroes together like they wanted to be!

No matter what, those two have that bond that they don't have with anybody. And who's to say? Midoriya could always change his mind. What happened to headcanons?

Oh, wait! No, apparently the headcanons some of these shippers have is that Midoriya should totally quit the job that he is happy with and just go by everything Bakugou says!

I'm sorry, but that is not the BakuDeku depiction I'm going for. Like, do they know how they sound?!

You're falling right into what antis and other haters say about the ship. By viewing it as something one-sided and unfair instead of equal.

[miss0atae]

15 Day BL Challenge 2024 (PART 3):

Last part of this challenge. Again a special thanks to the creator of this challenge.

11 - Breakup that should have stayed broken up :

I can’t remember any breakup that should have stayed broken up from any series of 2024, but I remember how Zeke and Fifth were in Our Story, the sequel of Your Story. I will never forgive this series for what they have done to this couple. They are the perfect example of a couple who should never have gotten back together.

12 – Wedding you wish you had an invite to :

I think of two weddings I wish I was invited to. The first one is the wedding of Oye and Cher in Wandee Goodday. I was really rooting for them and this wedding was clearly something that matters a lot to them. The only bad part was that it wasn’t the wedding I envisioned for them. I could have helped them have a better venue and design for them. I know just the right people for this !

The second wedding, I would have loved to be invited to was the one of Fueang and Krom in City of Stars. I found them so sweet and cute. I’m sure their wedding would have the same feeling. I also believe a celebrity wedding must have a different vibe than any other weddings.

A special mention to Anop and Sin in My Love Mix-Up thai version. Don’t tell me there were no wedding for this two and if there weren’t, I’m sure they are thinking about it and I need to be invited to witness this moment.

13 – Give 5 good boys a gold star :

In no real order, these are my 5 good boys who clearly deserve a gold star.

Fueang (City of Stars) : He was a prime example of someone who fell hard and keep on falling harder each time. He was doing his best all the time and was really good at communicating with his lover. I was truly impressed by him, when he finally found the courage to tell the press about his sexual orientation and his story with his ex before everything escalates. He knew it would damage his career, but he did it anyway.

Taishin (Takara No Vidro) : I know he was sometimes a bit too naive, but I fell like he is the epitome of a sweet cinnamon roll. There is no malice in Taishin. I like how cheerful he always was and he tried very hard to understand things. I even thought he was kinda good at communicating, but in a very weird way.

Moo (Only Boo!): I love everything about this character. He was serious when it matters, but he also was happy, kind, honest and he had a playful side. In addition, he is a very caring boyfriend, son and friend to those around him that matters.

Yu (I Saw You in My Dream): I will just let you read what we (@putterphubase and I) said about him right here. I think you can find all the reasons why I believe he deserves this gold star.

God (Monster Next Door): He is a nice person that is really considerate about others. When his future lover set boundaries, he knew how to respect them. He tries very hard to make sure Diew is comfortable. He cares about others and never try to change them.

A special mention to Jane (The Trainee), Sahashi Toma (Comestic Playlover), Luna (23.5), Teerak (Your Sky)

Day 14 : Top 5 Most Sad Boy :

Namping (Every You, Every Me) : If you’ve seen the series, you know why. I’m still not over what happened to him. The few rays of sunshine he got at the end was not enough if you ask me.

Lee Do Hoe (Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo): This poor guy suffered from transgenerational trauma and it cursed his life for a long time. He may have gotten his happy ending, but he suffered so much.

Keito – Haoran (Happy At the End): His past is heartbreaking and unsettling and his present life wasn’t easier. He was an abandoned soul who found another broken one and they created a bond that was like no others.

Jiang Tian (the On1y One): He was a very lonely person before Wang became his “brother”. He isolated himself because of his family. He always kept his luggage ready to leave because he never found a home before where he wished he could stay.

Non (Dead Friend Forever): His life was a nightmare and he didn’t deserve what happened to him. His family, his friends, his lover… almost everyone abandoned him at one point. Even the revenge his brother did on those who wronged him, won’t change a thing. He had a very sad life.

15  - 5 bestest besties :

Fueang and Kor (City of Stars) : Kor is the best friend everyone wished to have. He always adds a bit of comedy, but when it's needed he can be serious and defend his loved ones. He was the best wingman to Fueang. Their close bond was witnessed by everyone.

Plawan and JJ (This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans) : It's not easy to be Plawan's friend, but JJ always knew what to say and how to help his friend. The dynamic of their friendship was one of the best points of the series.

Pan and Khem (Deep Night) : I will never forget about how Khem showed Pan that there is always a solution for every problem. You don't want your lover to feel sad and you have wet dreams about the other guy he loves ? Why not trying to be a trouple ? Only a true friend would be bold enough to tell you this!

All the friendships in We Are: There were several groups of friends, but I really keep in mind the OG group of friends made of Peem, Chain, Pun, Tan and Q. They were my favorites.

The group of friends in Caged Again: They are endearing and I like every moment they spend together.

[princess-lvcifer]

round of hugs

ihsahn x f!reader • drabble • hurt with not much comfort tbh

summary: Emperor's last dinner before most of them end up in prison

A/N: This is similar to my previous Samoth x F!Reader drabble and is going to be similar to my next Ihsahn x Samoth and Ihsahn x Faust drabbles because I love exploring the angst of a loved one going far away for months or years. I wrote the first paragraphs and I thought "Wait this could be also yaoi... What should I write...? Fuck it I'll write every version I have in mind."

𖤐 𖤐 𖤐 𖤐 𖤐 𖤐 𖤐 𖤐 𖤐 𖤐 𖤐 𖤐 𖤐 𖤐

He was always aware of the things his band members and other friends were doing, he didn't agree and didn't want to participate, but he kept quiet and just like them thought they would never get caught, but Varg ruined everyone's party. Øystein's murder at the hands of Varg the year before culminated the fun in the Norwegian black metal scene.

The months between then and now had been very hard, with all his band members and other friends being questioned and judged, including himself. His girlfriend, who was also his best girl friend, was a great support to him.

Vegard had a year to psyche himself up, and yet he was still hurt and furious that absolutely all the members of his band were going to prison for church burning, robbery, possession of explosives, grave desecration, extreme violence and even murder. He was furious with all of them for what they had done, and although he knew they deserved it, he was also angry at justice — on Terje and Bård's part he thought it was understandable, but Tomas? It was no big deal, and fortunately he had only been sentenced to sixteen months, but at the same time it seemed like an eternity. He was his best boy friend, he loved him madly, and although they could still communicate by letter and maybe talk on the phone and even visit him, it wouldn't be the same. They would spend a long time apart and the future of the band was uncertain.

There were still a few days left before they were to enter prison, and before that they would go to their parents' house to spend their last days of freedom with their family, so Vegard's girlfriend told him to have a farewell party, just the band.

"It doesn't have to be a party party," she said, lying next to him on his bed, "it can be a chill party. The four of us drinking beers with some pizzas or kebabs, lying on the sofas."

"The four of us?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "The five of us."

"Me too?" she asked, surprised and confused.

"Fuck, you're the one who came up with the idea. And you're friends with them too, especially Tom," he added trying to hide his sadness, and she looked at him, grimacing with understanding at his sadness.

Clearly spirits were not high, but the three future prisoners appreciated the gesture of wanting to cheer them up and invite them to dinner and drinks, and they all dined and drank together one last time.

"You'd better not get married while I'm locked up," Tomas joked, pointing to the couple with his beer in hand before taking a sip from the small bottle. She laughed and blushed, and Vegard just smiled wistfully, nostalgic even for a moment he was still living.

"God, to think that by the time I get out they'll be married with children..." said Bård before taking a sip from his can of Coke.

"We'll all be bald by the time you come out." Terje added as he chewed a bit of the slice of pizza he held in his dominant hand, while covering his mouth with the other.

And quicker than they expected it was time to say goodbye the next morning, with the future prisoners clutching their suitcases in their hands and leaving the house mostly empty. There was a round of hugs with her, who was teary-eyed, and finally with the band's vocalist, who played hard to get. The hugs between the men were peculiar, different from those given to their girl friend: shorter hugs, a seen and unseen where there was hardly any physical contact between their chests, simple pats on their backs. His girlfriend, observant, noticed this attitude between them and other friends at the scene, and wondered: was the pressure of their self-imposed toxic masculinity so great that they wouldn't even allow themselves to hug properly at a time like this?

Luckily the hug that lasted the longest was the hug between Tomas and Vegard, which was a macho hug plus a short hug, an ordinary hug.

"Write me, okay?" Tomas said in his ear as they embraced.

"Sure, same here," he replied as they parted.

And as he watched them walk away and his girlfriend approached him to put her hand on his back, he closed the door and was left alone with her.

"For a moment there I thought you were going to kiss, you know?" She joked as she rubbed her eyes, and he smiled tiredly. "I wouldn't have minded," and after scanning his face in a pause, she added, "Come on, come here," she said more seriously now opening her arms, and he accepted her proposal by leaning in to embrace her, giving her a longer hug than any he had given his friends minutes before, even though he had wanted it.

𖤐 𖤐 𖤐 𖤐 𖤐 𖤐 𖤐 𖤐 𖤐 𖤐 𖤐 𖤐 𖤐 𖤐

A/N: English isn't my first language, sorry if something was weird expressed.

Crossposted on AO3. 🇪🇸

[lucillasstrap]

Friend wheres that post/rant in which u said it wouldve been better if lucius was 🤬🤬🤬 abt rome instead after all this bs he went thru bcs lets be fr ridley messed up

i feel like yapping today (when do i not) so fuck it heres my Big Lucius Post

i have quite a lot of thoughts abt lucius’ character that vary in seriousness based on how much i feel like trying to meet ridley scott where he’s at that day but in general i think the biggest failure to him was to not let him actually remain angry at anyone. for characterizing him as ‘full of rage,’ it’s disappointing to see that he doesn’t seem to actually internalize anything that’s done to him. the grudge he holds against lucilla is solved with remarkable ease and he manages to get over wanting to kill acacius (which is 100% justified) just because he suddenly realizes the emperors are worse? in that one moment? whatever

the only people he actually maintains ‘rage’ against are macrinus and uhhhhh the slaver guy whos name i forget which obviously yeah is righteous anger. but i can’t help but feel like they receive lucius’ vengeance because they are bad guys in this movie, not because lucius deserves to kill them. im not sitting here complaining that he was able to kill his masters, im annoyed that they receive the brunt of what seemingly should be a deeper, foundational anger at the actual close people in his life who directly put him in this position

having lucius believing in the ‘dream of rome’ is silly to me because all he knows of rome is the corruption he witnessed when he was a child, and then being cast away(‘abandoned’) directly in relation to that corruption. he should have no real reason to care about the version of rome that supposedly existed in marcus aurelius’ head—which, by the way, also just makes him look fucking stupid because we get macrinus’ backstory where he directly tells the audience macrus aurelius isn’t the saint everyone acts like he was. this random conviction lucius has about returning to a ‘good’ rome is literally just bullshit like WHY

as a lucilla lover(obviously) it pains me to say it but it makes way more sense for lucius to not forgive her, and as a contrarian it’s easy for me to say he 100% should have killed acacius. that man deserved to die by the hand of the oppressed person he violently conquered, not made into a martyr as a beacon of goodness. his death is made into lucius’ burden, as is lucilla’s, for no reason

the reason i think lucius isn’t angry at the right people in this movie is because it’s not a good time (in a/merican politics) for a movie about the dismantling and overthrowing of imperial force by the people they have enslaved and oppressed. BUT if you want to have more fun with it, i think one of the reasons lucius’ anger seemingly ebbs and flows at random has something to do with his relation to commodus and what kind of temperament hit baby lucius after growing up in his formative years being besties with his sociopath uncle

to keep it short(because this is getting long) i think a lot of commodus is recalled in lucius(uneven temper, lashing out contrasted with emotional shutdowns, desperation to be cared about) which could explain why his anger at the right people is messy. maybe he’s aware of a behavior pattern in himself that, honestly, is the only thing about the rome he knew that people would call ‘bad’—commodus was evil, there’s a good rome underneath. i think maybe him only having childish memories of the bad emperor ruining things could make him more likely to try to stop what he sees as irrational aggression towards the ‘good’ guys in the palace because it feels like the boogeyman of his childhood. this is the lens i use when i see how his aggression in the arena and in his revenge against macrinus and whatsisname is really kinda like. obvious overkill? to me it’s catharsis. he’s redirecting the reasonable anger towards people who systematically did this to him towards people who, while also deserving, are not the ones he’s actually mad at, but they’re the ‘bad guys’ he doesn’t have to feel commodus-like for hating

[darcytaylor]

Hello!

I would like your opinion in some topics about Luke that are kind driving me insane. Hope you can respond to it.

I think that for Luke, the press tour has a negative response. Before the tour, I thought him an adorable dork and genuine person. How Nicola would talk about him, how he used to portrait himself seemed such a nice person. I don't know if the lack of acknowledgement to Nicola, how she would always hype him up and he never had a compliment for her irked me.

During the tour things that I never associated to him became the things first in my mind when I see his photos or videos. Things likes indigenous, full of ego and jealous. How looks he doesn't care for the fans, for the people who depends on the show and who worked hard for it, for Nicola and even for his own hard work.

I don't even care he has a girlfriend. I don't ship him with Nicola because she deserve a mature partner and Like kind doesn't act his age. I would like to stop filing that way, because Colin e Penelope are my favorite book, and the way he's making me feel is ruining it for me. But I don't know how. Please give me your opinion.

Hey! I want to say that I am sorry you are feeling the way that you are. Disappointment is a strange thing, it makes you feel angry and sad all wrapped up together and it sucks!

I do see where you are coming from with how the promo tour brought light to a different version of what most people thought Luke was.

One of the things I mentioned in my deep dive into Luke's relationship was that so many people (Nicola included) said that Luke was most like his character. That alone is a lot to live up to. When you have a character (that I believe was made for the female gaze) that you yourself and other people say you are like, the expectations would be insane. I'm not shocked that when people started seeing cracks in that, people could/would be more disappointed than usual.

Another thing that people have been seeing is Nicola having exceeded all the expectations when it came to the promo tour. Nicola had a lot of people expecting her to not do a good job, people upset that she was the next season. But she showed everybody that she was worth it, that she deserved to be where she was, while also being a good person.

Luke did have hate come his way but not in the same way or as strong as Nicola. And because of that I think that Luke didn't feel as inclined to prove himself worthy.

(I'm not saying that either of them should have had to prove themselves, but when you have someone like Nicola doing just that, and Luke doing the bare minimum, it definitely cast a negative light towards Luke)

We also have to realize that Nicola is just better at building people up, she is better with words, she is better at communicating than Luke will ever be. So to expect the same from Luke, will ultimately cause disappointment and I believe is an unrealistic expectation for Luke.

You can see the anxiety coming off of Luke at times, and when you have anxiety it can make it way more difficult to say certain things, do certain things, act a certain way. I don't want to make excuses for Luke but I can see how that alone could effect how the public sees him, and it not be how he actually feels. So giving him a little grace when it comes to that, could be valid.

I think when you take a step back and understand that Luke is just a regular guy, with regular insecurities, it makes the situation a whole lot better and easier to understand. His actions have proved to me that he is insecure (getting into a relationship with a young adult, his friend group, his anxiety, his actions towards his career).

Sometimes when someone shows to have an inflated ego, it is actually their need to prove their worth and to mask their insecurities.

My advice to you is to try and not have expectations of people (especially ones we don't know), that way if they show a slight variation of the person you thought they were, you won't be disappointed. And you may find it easier to understand where they are coming from and find grace in their actions.

I do think that Luke has made SOOOO many mistakes in the last year. He has shown a different side of himself that his audience didn't know he had in him. But we also don't truly know him, we don't know the situations he has been in for him to act a certain way, or why he has chosen to do certain things.

He is also human, and humans make mistakes, they don't always act perfectly, they don't always make the correct decisions. But that doesn't make them a bad person, that just makes them human.

Accepting that Luke may not be the version you thought him to be and realizing that he can still have good and bad qualities (and accepting that), may help your situation of continuing to love Penelope and Colin.

I hope you can still love Penelope and Colin (and maybe it will just take some time), because they are such a great couple!

[aita-blorbos]

WIBTA if I stole my “real” counterpart’s life?

I (9F) come from a world that’s a mere reflection of the actual world. Everyone in it, including me, is a mirror of someone else. We’re born of the worst traits of people— all their flaws personified.

Because of this, my world isn’t very nice. Some people are alright, but most people are mean, sad, or both. This includes my parents.

They’re not actually my parents in that they’ve never been in love and didn’t choose to have me. They’re just reflections of the people who chose to have my real counterpart, and as such, they don’t have very much interest in me…

My mom is unhappy or angry most of the time. She doesn’t like interacting with people and closes herself off from everyone, including me. My dad is slightly better… he lets me help him out sometimes, but he’s always saying things that hurt my feelings and doesn’t listen to what I say. Apparently, he’s “just using me.”

Or at least… that’s what a friend told me. I met him one day, and he’s been telling me all about how the way I’m treated is unfair. This friend, who I’ll call D, is grumpy and cynical, but I still like him. He lets me follow him around even though he doesn’t really seem interested in getting to know me more than that.

Because of D, I also met another person, who I’ll call DM. DM is D’s father, I think, and he’s SUPER powerful! He’s one of the most feared people in our world. DM has been very nice to me, too, though, calling me special and saying I’m a smart kid. DM agreed that I deserve better than I have, and offered to help me out.

You see, DM knows very powerful magic, and he told me that if I could bring my real counterpart to him, then he’d use that magic to help me take her place. And if I were to do that, then I could live in the actual world! I’d be part of a happy family and have parents who love me… so I agreed right away! I was so excited.

It wasn’t too hard to find my counterpart, who I’ll call P. She actually snuck into our world and I bumped into her.

She seemed suspicious of me at first, but quickly warmed up, saying she thought we should be friends. Then, she dragged me to her world, and we spent some time playing together. She showed me the beautiful place where she lives and all the cool magic she can use. She even gave me my own name that wasn’t just “Mirror P,” saying that I should be treated like a baby sister instead of an evil clone. She’s honestly really confusing.

I like her, though, and it was nice playing together. At least… until P’s parents found out. When P tried to introduce me to them, they lost it. Her dad in particular was angry to see me. A- apparently a long time ago someone from my world hurt someone that was very important to him, and so he didn’t want me anywhere around P because he was sure I’d hurt her too. P’s mom tried to reason with him a little, but it didn’t work. He yelled at me, said I should just go back to my own world, and told me he never wanted to see me around P again.

…That really hurt. I guess he was right that I was going to hurt P, but I didn’t like being called a monster. It makes me wonder if there’s no version of my dad out there who could possibly love me.

Even though her dad yelled at me, though, P didn’t give up. She and I have been meeting in secret and playing together. Then, I go and report back to DM. DM says it’s good that I’m earning her trust, and soon I’ll be able to take her place.

But I… don’t know if I want to hurt P. She’s been so nice to me. If I take her place, then where will she go? Will she be stuck in my awful world, or will she disappear forever? That doesn’t seem fair…

I told DM that I wasn’t sure I wanted to do this and that maybe there was another way. M… maybe if I made the right argument, then I could get P’s family to love me! And I could live with her! And be her baby sister for real!

…But that just made DM laugh at me. He said no-one from their world would ever like or accept someone like me.

I still wanted to try, though, and so I talked to P and said I wanted to leave my world for good and live with her. I… I told her that I’d be nice and that I wouldn’t cause any problems for anyone. I promised. And she told me she thought that would be wonderful, so we went to talk with her parents a second time, hoping maybe we could convince them.

We really, really tried. P talked all about how nice I’d been to her and how mean everyone was to me at home. I said that I’d try my hardest not to be a burden to anyone and that I wasn’t like the other people from my world. I begged them to just give me a chance and said I’d do everything I could to be a good daughter. I poured my heart out, and I really thought it would work. P did, too.

But it didn’t. P’s dad STILL didn’t accept me. He was upset P had even been sneaking out to see me at all. H- he told me that he didn’t want me around and that if I did anything to P he’d hurt me. He seemed really upset. He was crying and everything. He tried to be intimidating, but honestly I think he was scared of me?

…DM was right. No-one from their world could ever love a monster like me.

A- and so I’m going to go along with his plan. I’m going to find a place where I belong. P- um, actually has history with DM… or at least her family does. That’s why she was in my world in the first place— she was trying to get revenge on him. So I’m gonna tell her I know where DM is, lure her to him, and then he’ll cast his spell!

And then I’ll be the real one. I’ll have a place where I belong. I won’t be a bad kid anymore. I really, really want that. But I’m nervous, too. P’s one of the only people who’s ever been nice to me. I don’t want to hurt her, I just don’t think there’s any other way. I- uh, also don’t really know how this magic works or what it will do to me… I’m a little scared. I also don’t actually know what it is DM did to P’s family… m- maybe he’s not all that nice. If I don’t do this, though I’ll never be loved, and so I don’t have a choice.

WIBTA if I go through with helping DM with his plan?

[blackbirdffxiv]

I wanted to come by and say thank you so much for all your amazing hair ports! I'm also wondering how or why you got into modding and if its easy for anyone to do?? Or any tips for those who want to get into it? Hope you have a lovely evening!

No need to thank me, but I do appreciate the support regardless (it actually makes me super happy to see people enjoy my work, it makes the effort worth it)

As to why I got into modding, the short version is when I got into it because I wanted to have mods for myself instead of paying god knows how much money for someone else to make/port something for me. The longer story is basically what I said above but with more detail: I play the races that are considered "the niche races" as I've heard some people in the modding community call them ( I have a variety of theories why they don't port to "the niche races", but I don't need a witch hunt after me).

About two years ago, the final straw was when I asked a hair modder if they had plans on porting a hair to highlander, as it was a paid hair that I bought because it said "for hyur" (and in reality: it was only midlander). They told me "you can port it yourself if you want it for your race :)" (smiley face and all), and I not only showed great restraint on my infamous hot temper, but I started to learn how to port hair myself.

Once I started to get better at it? I thought "why not try other races", so I tried knocking hairs out for multiple races, including the popular ones, but realized that NONE of them used the hairs I ported. The ones that were though were elezens, roes, and highlanders. And I'd often hear from elezen, roe and highlander players how they were glad to see SOMEONE doing something for them, and I will admit, it fed my ego, I got a lil big for my britches at times (but who doesn't?).

But it also gave me the desire to do more for them; it made me happy to make others happy, and to hear people feel like they're FINALLY getting to be able to get nice stuff like everyone else does. I also mod because despite my gripes: I do enjoy modding, it gives me a sense of fulfillment, and it makes me happy to see others happy. Even moreso if I see friends using the stuff I create.

I also encourage everyone to get into modding if they have a desire to, but I cannot emphasize enough: do NOT get into modding if your only desire is to make a quick buck out of it, it will not end well for you. Do I think creators deserve compensation for their work? Absolutely, but I've seen creators set themselves up on a long path of failure disguised as success because as soon as they learned the very bare bones of modding? They immediately started charging for it, and then broke down if they got complaints about it, or if someone shared it, etc.

And then there's the need to keep up with demand, and the burnout that follows (this also happens to free modders; it happened to me three times). Burnout is extremely common with modders, paid and free, especially if you rely on modding in XIV for income (which is HIGHLY discouraged due to modding in XIV being on shaky ground on a constant basis). Burnout not only kills your desire for modding when it happens, but it can even just ruin your desire to even log into XIV (I speak from experience; there was a period of time I didn't log in for two weeks because of modding burnout).

I could go on for hours on the benefits and cons of modding, but despite what I say: I do think if you're interested in modding, even if its just for yourself/your friends? You should go for it; there's thankfully a number of guides out there to get you started, hell, sometimes just EXPERIMENTING is better than nothing (it's how I learned!) and eventually it just clicks.

Plus there's just a sense of fulfillment knowing if you want something you can just make it yourself, and there's something rewarding about making something for yourself, looking at it and going "Holy shit I did that". And there's also the fact that if you want something done for yourself, you don't need to go to anyone asking for help; you can just sit down one moment when you're free and just do it, and you can pat yourself on the back knowing you did it on your own.

The TLDR:

I appreciate the support on my mods; I like modding, I think everyone who is interested should look into trying to get into it, but please please PLEASE be mindful of what you're doing if you get further into it. Remember the risks, and don't do it out of greed because it will come back and bite you.

[acewitch-writes]

Hello! I recently found your account, and I went on scrolling down and down...and now I hope you know how grateful I am. Thank u- Merci. About 90% of the content you share here has made me feel so much better. I realllyy hope wonderful things happen for you. I've been a fan of hp since 2001, but I'm not really a social media person so I haven't been active in the fandom. I had no idea what was happening here until recently..two months ago to be exact (other details are not important) and omg.. I ended up in a discussion with some I think, new fans. tbh I thought, "Great! I'm good at this, I read all the books more than once Let's talk :)"  and omg their very first question was "What do you think about Regulus?"

I was like, "Who?" *dying from secondhand embarrassment bc It turns out I'm not that good at this

but as the discussion continued, I became more and more baffled bc "Why was everyone talking about Barty, Evan, and Regulus? who is daddy Remu? and what do you mean people ship James Potter with R.A.B.? What?"

I swear for a moment I thought "Did the writer publish a new book? Did I miss something? " tbh, I respect everyone's opinion it's none of my business but I'm still shocked. The only thing that bothers me is everything that happened with this new Wolfsar

omg, for most fans around my age (or at least people I know), Sirius was the complete portrayal of a bad boy- a rebel, with boots, tattoos, a leather jacket, and a fucking motorcycle. so this new Sirius is like a stranger to me, and that's okay. Mein issue is kinda with this new Remus T T my beloved .

They (the fans I was talking with) told me Remus is "tall, so handsome, SO strong, and hot-headed person because,  yk he's a werewolf." I was like "hot headed? excuse me?" I tried to explain to them that Remus being a werewolf is a metaphor for illnesses like HIV, it's not some superpowery gift.  they didn't believe me, but then they literally looked me in the face and said, "Then why would Sirius like someone like him? He's poor, short, and ugly." I swear I wanted to cry right then and there.

What is this mindset that makes some people think that a person should be, Idk, hot and flawless to deserve to be loved? Yes I don't think Remus is tall and super hot and perfect and isn't it fine? and I am 100% sure he's so beautiful. not like Sirius ofc but he has this "warm, cozy, and soft" sort of beauty. and I don't think he was a coward (ok maybe he was a liitle) but I guess it's easier for us, humans, to take the worst or weakest moment of a character and amplify it until it defines them entirely. and omg I'm so sorry for my rant and my bad english. but once again thank you for your beautiful soul <3 thank you

Hi anon! I, too, am baffled by the recent obsession with Regulus in this fandom. I think Jegulus is fine as a crack ship, but it has become so mainstream that many fans have just gone ahead and canonized it to the point that you'll be vilified for not accepting it as canon. I underestimated how popular the "best friend's brother" trope was, apparently. I also think it appeals to many fans as a Marauders Era version of one of the most popular ships of all time, Drarry.

This new version of Wolfstar is my biggest complaint with today's fandom, too! I get that the Marauders have very limited canon information and therefore we have more creative freedom to flesh them out, but I really believe that it has gone way too far. Sirius and Remus in today's fandom don't bear any resemblance to the characters they're based on. Remus is just a generic alpha werewolf OC and Sirius is his generic himbo femboy love interest OC. They don't even share a physical description with their Canon counterparts, and their personalities and character traits are so far removed that I can't even fathom how we reached this point as a fandom. How can you claim to like these characters if you have to change everything the source material says about them?

You're English is great, by the way! I completely agree that Remus has a cozy-and-warm sort of beauty. He made a point to distance himself from the stigma surrounding Lycanthropy because it was the focal point of his shame and self-loathing. And I just adore Wolfstar's dynamic from this lens, with the intimidatingly beautiful, confident, headstrong Sirius Black, who could have his pick of anyone he wants, choosing this ordinary guy because he's cozy and soft and it's exactly what Sirius wants after surviving the harsh ideals and abuse of House Black.

[shrinkthisviolet]

37 + Iris for angsty writing prompts.

This takes place during s3...and aside from the major divergence featured here, it's canon-compliant, so you can interpret Caitlin and KF as separate people or the same person. Also, this could be considered a mini follow-up to this, though it can also stand on its own:

Iris had failed.

She’d really thought she could get through to Savitar, touch at the heart of Barry inside him and pull the darkness out…she’d gotten so close—

But she’d failed, and off he’d gone, and she was going to die in a few hours’ time.

And by the hand of an evil version of her fiancé. And only to hurt Barry. It was just about the most devastating thing ever. Iris barely held it together until he left before finally breaking down sobbing.

What kind of fiancée—what kind of best friend—was she, that she couldn’t save him even when her own life was at stake?

What happened to you, Barry? What did this to you? Who did?

Iris wasn’t sure how long she spent crying before someone shook her sharply. “Come on, West. Dry your eyes. We don’t have time for that.”

“Wh…?” She startled backwards upon seeing Killer Frost approaching. “What are you doing here?”

The other woman arched an eyebrow and held up a gleaming knife. “I could just leave you bound up here to die, if you’d prefer.”

Iris pursed her lips, locked in a stalemate with her former friend, before nodded—Killer Frost knelt down to cut her bindings.

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why are you helping me?”

Killer Frost pursed her lips but didn’t speak for a while. Finally, she said, “What you said, before. If Savitar gets his memory back, what’s in it for you?”

Iris scoffed. “Took you that long to decide you deserved better?”

Killer Frost scowled. “Someone’s being awfully testy to her rescuer.”

“Trying to get my bearings,” Iris replied tightly, “that’s all. I can’t make my situation any worse, anyway.”

Caitlin pursed her lips, speaking again when one wrist was free. “Well, it wasn’t just you. It was Cisco too. Never wanting to hurt me, even at my worst…reminding me that Savitar was only using me.”

“That was Barry.”

“Cisco too,” Killer Frost retorted sharply, “and I wasn’t gonna take any guidance from the man who couldn’t be bothered about me once your life was on the line.”

Iris frowned. “That’s not—”

“Fair? Oh yes it is.” Killer Frost sighed. “But that’s not your fault. From what Cisco says…you were the person most worried about me. Well…second-most. And you don’t deserve to die over all this. Not for Barry’s sake…or for anyone’s. I realized I deserve better…and so do you. Better than these roles Savitar has shoved us in.”

“And yet you stay with him.”

“Not anymore. Pull your left wrist.” Iris did so, finding it free to move. “You’re free now, so take my advice, Iris: run on back home to your knight in shining armor, leave me be. I have my own destination in mind.”

Iris frowned.

Killer Frost scoffed. “If I wanted to kill you myself, I’d do it right here and now.”

“That’s not what I’m worried about.”

“Then what are you worried about?”

“You.” Iris stood up, grabbing the other woman’s hands and squeezing. “Are you gonna be okay?”

Killer Frost hesitated. For a moment, Iris could swear her eyes turned brown.

But only for a moment, and Killer Frost yanked her hands away. “Worry about yourself, West.”

Iris’s heart sank. “Caitlin—”

“Frost,” came the sharp correction. “If you ever speak of me again, if we ever meet again, call me that. Until then…Savitar won’t be gone long. You should hurry. This place isn’t too far from STAR if you head east.”

“You should hurry too,” Iris said softly. K—Frost didn’t respond, though, so Iris sighed, slowly walking towards the exit. At the last moment, though, she turned. “Frost?”

“…yes?” Came the hesitant reply, though Frost didn’t look at her

“I forgive you. Please take care of yourself.”

Iris could swear Frost’s shoulders tensed at that, but she didn’t wait to be sure—Frost was right about the time limit, and Iris didn’t have much time.

As she ran out the door, though, stealthily making her way back—it was sunset, thank God, so she headed away from the sun…and sure enough, she was back at STAR Labs before long.

Barry was the first to see her, the first to sweep her up in a hug and whisper a shaky “Thank God,” and Iris kissed him soundly and nestled into his hug with an overwhelming sense of relief.

All the while, though…she kept thinking of Frost. Of Caitlin, though evidently her friend had shed that name.

Iris knew how to read people—she’d taken classes on it, to boot, and being a journalist had given her much more practice—and she knew one thing for certain:

Frost had the same look in her eyes that Caitlin got when she was scared.

And Iris could almost weep for how helpless she was in the face of that.

prompt list!

[keets-writing-corner]

I need to talk about RWBY's Jaune Arc

okay this is 1.6k words, immaaaaaaaa put a cut

Okay so going into RWBY back in 2019, that was great right. I was in the middle of getting my degree in creative writing I was seriously burnt out from how formulaic stories had gotten for me, and then comes along my friend being all YOU SHOULD WATCH RWBY. And I said, SURE

now my friend knows my types and she nailed who my favorite character was going to be (Oscar) and she also nailed who my other favorites would be (Ren and Qrow) and I'll admit, 90% of my investment in RWBY was ya know, my favorite boys (Don't worry I love plenty of the girls, it just happened that my top 3 ended up being guys this time around). And wow RWBY was just such a breath of fresh air for me given all the story telling stuff I was learning about in college

and specifically, now that we're like waiting for volume 10 to be greenlit, I'm surprised by how much I've grown to like Jaune

I used to not care for Jaune/find him mildly annoying in Volume 1. He was the... audience stand in, so he had to be a little dumb. He was falling into a little bit of a stereotypical pretending to be confident to impress the ladies role. But ya know, I didn't hate him. He just wasn't my favorite of team JNPR

then volume 2 comes around and he has his whole IMMA INVITE WEISS TO THE DANCE WITH ME :D and I was not about that, it was pushy, and also, I really do not care for that sort of romance in the stories I'm engaging with, and then... it didn't go that route. He realized that Pyrrha wanted to go with him, that he had been unintentionally insensitive towards her, and pursued a girl who didn't even care about him who liked someone else. And Jaune just went "alright, damage control, gonna get Weiss what she wants and gonna give Pyrrha what she deserves" and that was the first time instead of being neutral or annoyed at Jaune I thought ya know, this guy... this guy has good bean potential. I'm interested in seeing where they take him next

And then there's Volume 3. He's been training with Pyrrha, he's been more supportive as a partner, he's been TRYING to be a good leader for his team, like he's not perfect at any of those but he's TRYING and he's lost a lot of the traits that I found annoying originally. Now he's starting to full step into the supportive wholesome leader role. And then, ya know the finale happens and just... ouch. Things were looking up for White boy, and the rug wasn't just pulled out from under him, it also slapped him in the face and threw him down the stairs

Now through Volumes 4-5 Jaune was still in the "I'm pretty meh" about him territory. There were moments where I found myself deeply empathizing with him, specifically in the scenes that showed him mourning Pyrrha, especially because well... I've been there. I've lost someone I was close with when I was 17 too. Extremely different circumstances but that thing where you put on a video of them and you watch it over and over and over because you so desperately want them back, that you're reaching for wisps and smoke of what used to be them all for a brief small chance to feel their presence again. And it's just, it's never enough. No matter how many times you watch the video, no matter how many times you replay their voice talking to you, no matter how many times you listen to old messages they sent you, they are gone and nothing in the world is going to change that. It hurts. It hurts so bad

this boy is GRIEVING

but, he was being bitchy. And look, I don't blame the guy alright. Grief messes you up as a person, it brings out sides of you you didn't know you had, it prevents you from being the best version of yourself. I. GET. IT. But he was being bitchy towards Qrow(aforementioned fave, special mention to that time he slammed Oscar ANOTHER FAVE against the wall), and at the battle of Haven, he initially let his grief and anger get the better of him, and ngl I couldn't watch. (To clarify, absolutely no shade to the writers, this was GOLDEN, peek character writing and whatnot) But that is what Jaune's arc is about at the end of the day. I'm not saying the other characters aren't grieving too, they absolutely are. But Jaune's arc has a lot more focus on how grief hurts and changes a person, how it gets the better of us, and how ultimately, if we want to move forward, if we want to keep going, we cannot just fight it and resist it because it feels icky. We cannot just sit in it because we hate what happened and happiness feels fake and forever gone. We cannot pretend the grief isn't there either.

Cue Volume 6 where he was mostly backstage, but all of this comes to a culmination at Pyrrha's statue and Jaune finally gets a moment where he gets to sit with his grief. Really sit with it. In a way that isn't anger, or repression, or wishing things had been different or that Pyrrha was there. He got to sit with his grief with the reality that it was. He lost Pyrrha. And it hurt. Maybe it was senseless. Maybe he really couldn't have done anything. Maybe it really does hurt so bad. But at the end of the day, it had been Pyrrha's choice to try and do something. And for better or for worse, she tried. And the rest of his team confront him. Ren and Nora are quick to console him, and join in on the grieving. And they also confront him about his behavior in season 5, where he believed that he didn't matter so long as his friends got to live. And here are Ren and Nora telling him, buddy, you DO matter. You matter so much. You matter to us just as much as Pyrrha mattered to us. We all chose to be huntsmen, so let us grow together and honor her choice even if it hurts. We can hurt together and we can take comfort together.

And listen, up until this point, when I was watching RWBY, Jaune was not my favorite. He never had been. He was just a guy that was there going through his own arcs. But after this key moment in volume 6, suddenly I find himself enjoying seeing him whenever he was on screen

for the rest of volume 6 he slips naturally into an empathetic leader. Stealing the ships was his idea but he let everyone take the roles they were good at, he played good support, he protected his team when possible. AND THEN WE GET TO 7 AND 8 and omg

friends

this is when I started loving Jaune. Suddenly, it's like he found a balance, he found himself. He was still hurting but instead of being angry he was being compassionate. He was still goofy and fun, but he was no longer annoying being respectful of people. He was no longer blundering about on the battlefield but he was moving with purpose and with skill. This Jaune feels like an entirely different character than the Jaune we first met back in volume 1. He's fallen into a character role that I personally love. I love the empathic leaders who are a little bit goofy. I love them to pieces. I love their level-headedness, i love their compassion. I love their gentleness. But what made Jaune special is that we got to see how much he had to suffer to get there. He was doing the best he's ever been, and he was being so kind and so humble (straight up, tempted to do a time travel AU fic or something with baby jaune and leader jaune meeting each other cuz they'd be so different)

Then we reach the end of 8 and ya know

THAT happened

and of course Jaune's arc is always about grief. But what a stroke of genius, have him find his footing and then REtraumatize him. ngl, I ALSO have been there, and imo the retraumatization is almost worst than the originally one, especially if you haven't properly dealt with the OG emotions because now THOSE come rushing back AND you've got new fresh ones to deal with. Call me a sadist. Accuse me of projecting my own trauma or whatever, but genuinely I loved what they did with Jaune in volume 9. It was *chef's kiss*. The unhealthy coping, the latching onto and hyperfixating on a single thing that ultimately is the opposite of what he needed, forced to be alone for decades, betrayed by someone he tried to help, being reunited with his friends without having processed or dealt with any of that and STILL trying to be friendly and kind and gentle to them while barely keeping it together- it's just SO GOOD

and ultimately he does break. But his friends are there with him, just like Ren and Nora helped him in volume 6. He's still the gentle leader he's grown into, but now there's just so much more to it, there's so many layers

I'm genuinely so excited to see where they take him for future volumes. He still can't dethrone my favorites BUT he has climbed the ranks of my favorite characters so fast that I wouldn't have believed you if you told me when I started watching RWBY that the character I found most annoying would end up being one of my favorite RWBY characters

soooooo yeah

I really love Jaune now

controversial opinion, I love his short hair

[vampirepersay]

The afterlife of Pip Pirrip: old fic that I wrote back in 2022 it was finished but after I deleted the fic I lost the ending

CW: canon character death,religious imagery but it's the south park version of religion.

WC:1009

My name is Pip and I'd like it if you'd stop smashing our little town to bits".

That

was the last thing he said before he felt his body being crushed by mecha Streisand.

It felt like a

bad dream, like something that couldn't have happened.

But it wasn't a dream Pip was dead.

But if he had died why did he feel himself starting to wake up?

So it was just a bad dream Pip

thought to himself while rubbing the sleepiness out of his eyes but when the young

British boy opened his eyes he was not greeted by the familiar walls of his bedroom, but

instead, by blinding white light and calling out from that light pip heard an unfamiliar voice

despite having never heard the voice before for some strange reason he found it comforting but

before he even had a chance to hear what the voice said he felt himself starting to fall, it felt like

he was falling for an eternity, time seemed to be going slower if this was a dream then why did it

feel so real he thought. After what felt like a lifetime Pip stopped falling. And what he saw

confirmed what Pip was so terrified of not only was he dead but he was in hell.

There were no

other explanations for this;

everything as far as Pip could see was on fire, but Pip wasn't afraid.

A voice he would have recognized from anywhere could be heard Damien Thorn the one person

who was at least somewhat kind to him was standing in the flames unfazed by it all Like this

was something he saw every day before pip could take everything in or even ask for some kind

explanation a red figure appeared from what seemed out of nowhere.

"Damien, are you scaring the newcomers again?" said what pip could only assume was satan

himself, "Father, I know this person, why is he here?" asked

the young demon, the larger and much More intimidating demon replied with

clear sarcasm in his voice "for a nice vacation, he's dead, why else would he be here!

"you don't have to yell, I know that already what I meant was why is he here? he never struck

me as the type to end up here". "Look, Damien, you know I'm not the one who

decides who ends up where. If your little friend is here then he's here for A Reason". Before the

father-son conversation could continue Pip decided he was going to get the answers he so

desperately needed.

"I'm sorry to interrupt but where am I?, also hello

Damien I thought I'd never see you again.

"oh yeah I should probably explain,

thanks a lot Damien for getting me distracted so as you've probably already guessed your dead

crushed to death by a giant robot to be exact, and as for where you are if it wasn't obvious

you're in hell.

If you have any other questions feel

free to ask me. I'm not busy, also this whole hell thing is kinda my whole job".

Said satan who

was surprisingly nice. After his speech to pip, a loud buzz could be heard "ugh that better not be tom" after pulling his

phone out from who knows where the demon looked at his phone before saying "sorry pip I got

to take this Damien should be able to answer whatever questions you have".

"umm what just happened now I'm just more confused" said the British boy.

"don't worry he's always like that you'll get used to it". Said the raven-haired demon.

"thanks Damien there's something I must ask you if that's alright?"

"what is it?" replied Damien.

"when you asked why I was here you seemed surprised, why is that?"

"come on pip you know

why you're not a bad person". Said Damien with his usually fiery eyes with a hint of sorrow in

them.

"I'm sorry what, Damien do you actually think

I'm a good person, or are you just saying that to make me feel better".

said pip who was

shocked that someone would say something so kind to him

"Look pip I've come to realize that

you didn't deserve anything that happened to you, and I want to apologize because of me

wanting so desperately to be cool I hurt you, and that wasn't okay".

"You're apologizing, thanks no ones ever actually said sorry to me before," said pip.

"That's horrible but at the same time I'm not surprised",

Damien replied, who seemed to be the

first person to like pip.

"thank you Damien's That exactly what I needed to hear".

The British boy responded. "Damien, can I ask you a question?

it's a rather stupid one

but I just need to know" "sure I don't have anything else to do, and if I don't help you i'll definitely

get in trouble.

The demon replied. "I warned you it's dumb but you know how you went

to earth,

"yeah what about it"?.

"well that's the dumb part of the question is there any way for me

to do that". Said the blonde boy feeling like an idiot for even asking the question.

"No, I'm sorry

there is no way for a human, who has gone to hell to go back to earth.

Said the young demon

with sorrow in his voice.

Just as Damien finished his oddly sweet speech to pip a fall could be

heard and an oddly familiar muffled voice could be heard saying something pip couldn't make

out.

That was Until the source of the voice was in Pip's Vision, it was Pip's classmate Kenny

McCormick.

Pip was shocked to see one of his fellow classmates in hell, deciding to make

conversation with him Pip called out his name "KENNY!".

The young hooded boy looked Pips way

with disgust in his eyes before flipping him off, what happened next Pip could only describe as

some cruel joke from the Universe kenny's body began to glow with white light before he

teleported out of hell.

AN: I'm aware Damian is super ooc in this and I apologize, I wrote this fic back in 2022 so that's why so many things are out of character or just not accurate to canon Im not going to finish this because it had an ending originally and it's been so long since I wrote this I don't want to change the original ending.

[tadpolesonalgae]

“You made more than a mistake, Az. Now we’re all hurting because you—”

i am so glad it's finally been said out loud. And that it was Mor who said it because immediately I understood how she was feeling about the entire situation, which made me feel better about her being an asshat at the end of the last chapter. It's strangely therapeutic. As soon as Mor tells Az to shut up though, I couldn't help but start crying a little bit because you really perfected how I thought Mor would've perceived reader going to Eris-

“She could have come to any of us. It’s more than we ever had, and yet she ignored it. Then tries to pretend it away? I’m not immune to that. If she can’t even be bothered to care about my pain why should I give a damn about hers?”

-this line in particular ruined me (not to be too personal n emotional lol), as someone who grew up in a not so great home i can really empathize with Mor here. It's not healthy behavior but I can say that there have been times where I've resented the people in my life who didn't accept help after i had been desperate for it for years. I'm more emotionally aware now and have unpacked those resentments (THANK GOD), but it was such a visceral response to reading that line because it mirrored unhealed me.

The next scene with madja was the perfect balance to mor and azriel's...argument? discussion? idk. You really guide us well through the world which is something I really admire in your writing, it flows very naturally and it always feels like a very natural progression of events. (its just something i've noticed i struggle with in my own wips lol).

compliments aside, it was also really sweet to see reader's peace in this chapter. Madja herself being a very peaceful motherly figure for reader who we know desperately needs that kind of care right now, her sisters are doing great right now but she needs someone who's not family to prove that they do care about her and it will not change over a few mistakes. Which is something that Cassian embodies very well later in the chapter too.

Bas.... sweet guy :( i hope reader gives him the truth. Imo, i think he deserves at least a bit of the truth when she is in a better place to give it (she fr could've said she was at a friend's in autumn. bas doesn't need to know WHO). But Bas held up his own boundaries very well with reader as well and I'm glad that we got a little of his feelings on the situation as well as reader acknowledging she hasn't been a great friend recently. (it's valid tho she's been goin THROUGH IT)

Tabbatha... you keep saying you don't know how to portray cassian but i personally think you do him such a great service ESPECIALLY after some instances of cass's behavior towards nesta's struggles in her own healing journey. I really feel like he actually cares about reader herself compared to rhys who cared about feyre and her only. He makes an effort to get her to relax, which is something acomaf cass would've done and is the version of him i miss the most. And him calling reader out for keeping things to herself? I personally think she needs to be called out and take accountability for her own role in the healing process. He was the perfect person to push her in this scene.

The dinner scene also really resonated with me and my own childhood. As a kid growing up we NEVER ate dinner together, so reader's apprehension to going to dinner is so real, and Mor sitting across from her?

oh myyyy goodness, ik this chapter just came out but im already rereading hehehe im so excited for the next one

-🤠

If I’m honest with you, I wanted Mor to tear into Az a little more than she did? For her to fairly obviously and kind of viciously defend reader but I felt it would be weird for her to go that far, considering Mor is supposed to be feeling very betrayed and hurt by reader? I did have fun with writing Mor telling Az to shut up though 🫣 I even nearly italicised it 🫢😳

‘The next scene with madja was the perfect balance to mor and azriel's...argument? discussion?’

Oh I really liked writing the Madja scene!! I mean, kind of scary obviously, but I enjoy her character and it’s so nice getting to write someone being kind to reader? 😭 Particularly since a fair amount of scenes in cbmthy aren’t particularly lighthearted/high-spirited? I’m hoping to continue dropping scenes with Madja in here and there since it would be weird if reader’s checkups suddenly stopped out of nowhere? Also so she has someone to keep an eye on her who might know a little more about what’s going on with her physically and mentally from experience and studying other people/medicine?

‘(its just something i've noticed i struggle with in my own wips lol).’

This might be totally unsolicited/unhelpful, but usually for me if a scene isn’t working or I’m struggling to write it, I’ll either change the perspective or switch to something else entirely? Like the scene just after reader’s entered the kitchen with Cassian I was struggling with, which is why there’s that snippet from Rhys’ pov to section them up? I don’t know if that’ll work for other people, but it’s something I fall back on quite regularly so it might help you too? 🫂🧡💛

‘but she needs someone who's not family to prove that they do care about her and it will not change over a few mistakes. Which is something that Cassian embodies very well later in the chapter too.’

I’m so glad you feel Cassian read that way!! 😭 I’m kind of of the mind that Nesta’s still protective over her sisters and so that might occasionally stretch across to Cassian at times? Also I just feel like Cassian genuinely cares about people in a more (this might sound strange) innocent way? Like more carefully and tenderly?

I would have loved to write Cassian and reader as being good friends but because Cassian’s friends with Feyre I think reader would still always feel in second place and unfortunately it might hinder her more than help 😭

‘Tabbatha... you keep saying you don't know how to portray cassian but i personally think you do him such a great service’

I’m literally refusing to respond to this because I’m so embarrassed and flustered from the compliment 😶‍🌫️

‘As a kid growing up we NEVER ate dinner together, so reader's apprehension to going to dinner is so real, and Mor sitting across from her?’

Yes! And especially after she’s done something that so obviously puts her in a vulnerable position too? Now they all know that she was in a place like that I can’t imagine reader will feel particularly comfortable over dinner 😭

As for Mor, I think I’m actually going to be writing this scene tonight, so I’ll be interested to see what happens? (Because honestly I don’t 100% know how it’s going to go either 😭🫣)

‘oh myyyy goodness, ik this chapter just came out but im already rereading hehehe im so excited for the next one’

Babes oh my gosh I was struggling to start chapter 18 so did a change 🫢🫣

I had so much fun writing the opening scene to the next part and I’ll be so excited to hear some thoughts on it—if you or anyone has any thoughts on it, of course 🧡💛

[astriexxe]

Here is my very long post about what I think of Les Misérables (2012) after watching it again recently

Tldr: the music which should be great somehow just isn't, the camera angles are fucking weird, Russel Crowe isn't as bad as I expected, Hugh Jackman was worse than I remembered

When I watched Les Misérables (2012) the first time it was the first experience I'd had of Les mis other than the odd YouTube video of one day more (or occasionally do you hear the people sing). I didn't know what it was about I didn't know many of the songs.

I found it fairly boring, the music was ok, the middle section with the revolution was the highlight. My favourite character was Javert followed by Enjolras (but that's biased because I'm a moulin rouge and n2n fan and it was Aaron tveit).

When I watched it back I entirely expected to hate Russell Crowe as Javert but have more respect for the music and the rest of the film as I have since watched the staged concerts and been to see it live and it's fucking great I love it.

I was wrong the music still sucked and I still found it kind of boring despite absolutely loving the stage production.

The orchestra is too quiet I think which means the music loses a lot of it's grandeur and the bad singing is more obvious.

Russel Crowe has a weird tone when singing (this we already knew) and when compared to other Javert's he sucks but when compared to Hugh Jackman it's a relief whenever it's his part because holy fuck Hugh Jackman was bad. Russel Crowe honestly wasn't that bad, I quite like his Javert from an acting perspective and the singing was alright, I know when I first watched the film stars was my favourite song (just imagine how amazed I was when I heard Philip Quast's version). I wish Javert's suicide was better in the film.

Hugh Jackman was far worse than I remembered him being perhaps I have more to compare him to now, bring him home was awful that's not how that should be sung and he had me bored for like the entire bit at the start where it's basically just him (end of prologue/ VJ's soliloquy).

One day more was a bit messy but not as bad as I was expecting.

The scenery was pretty epic like they had some great cinematic shots (ship at the start, the Seine, the cliff during VJ's soliloquy) like a big musical like Les Mis deserves some cool shots like that.

The camera angles were fucking weird. I find how shows use different camera angles quite interesting but I can't figure Les Mis out, it doesn't enhance the story or characters or anything it's just distracting and adds to how boring it is. I thought the camera angles during VJ's soliloquy looked like he was vlogging. Some dramatic shots could have helped that scene a lot I think. The camera angles got a little more exciting but the weird close ups were a theme and I personally think they were poorly used and distracting.

The Thenardiers were pretty good the first time I watched it but like having seen the show since it just doesn't work they're nowhere near as funny.

When my friend watched Les Mis and said she didn't like how all the dialogue was sung and I was like ok maybe she just doesn't like sung through musicals fair enough. No the film is just weird. They like added bits of sung dialogue but they seem to have forgotten to give these bits any tune.

VJ got a new song which was a bit of a shock because honestly I don't remember it from the first time round, I think the concept of the song is pretty cool but poorly written (it was sort of boring and didn't feel like it fit with the musical).

Les Amis were once again a highlight, the pace picks up, the singing gets better, all in all it's a good chunk of the film.

Fantine was better than I remembered and Anne Hathaway went for acting over singing in I Dreamed a Dream which worked but only because it was a film.

Eddie Redmayne was good as was Sam Barks I enjoyed their bits.

Aaron Tveit was also good you can tell which of the actors are theatre actors because they can act and sing at the same time (/hj). And of course respect to George Blagden.

The child actors (I don't know their names) were also great!

Yeah I think that's it if anyone read this to the end congrats on making it