#time to vege the fuck out

[lordsardine]

.

i mean we're trying something

[p0ssywhippedcream]

Spencer Reid would be so bad at food. Bro does not know when things expire, bro ignores labels, bro is probably lactose intolerant and consumes cheese by the bricks.

And his cooking? He knows box noodles and mac and THATS IT. baby struggles even with that.

“It says add milk.”

“Then add milk.”

“How much milk?”

“I dunno baby just add some milk.”

*dumps half the carton*

“I don’t think we have enough cheese for that baby.”

“oh.”

The one thing my man is good at with food besides listing off side effects of ingredients is eggs. Only sunny side up tho, you ask him for over easy and you get a plate full of burnt.

And Spence loves you so so dearly and there’s times you’re sitting in bed in the morning looking hungry and tired and he just needs to feed his love but doesn’t want them to get out of bed.

He makes his way to the kitchen, cooks you up some eggs and brings them on up. You love the eggs he makes for you, you eat them with a smile every time. This is the best version of breakfast in bed you’ll get with him and honestly, it doesn’t bother you. As long as Spence is there.

Or, if you’re vegetarian/vegan, baby’s superpower is avocados. don’t ask me, idk the gods told me but he is so fucking good with avocados????

like for no reason too, bro can turn that green vege into a fucking masterpiece. He’s got it all cut up pretty on the plate, thin slices in a circle with tomatos on top.

He always has them in his kitchen, for a little snack maybe or maybe bc it’s the only thing he can do in the mornings without the smoke alarm going off. (trust me, babe has burnt cereal)

He gets really good with avocados too, like he varies their width, their size and shape and he makes little faces on the plates. It makes his whole day to see your face light up when he hands you a sun with a smiley face in avocado slices.

[birdmenmanga]

(unspeakably sore in strange places after doing nothing but sleeping) good morning sunshine

eat a little snack :]

Do dishes and clean out fridge (AKA prep for throwing garbage later today)

pack away the rest of the recyclables

make myself some tea (<- decided it was more prudent to drink the soymilk in my fridge)

LOL I FORGOR I HAD A CALL W/ MY FRIENDIES. TIME 2 DO THAT IG

look through the papers and make a decision about which prints go with which papers (just deciding-- not yet editing down illustrations)

dude I'm literally so close man let's fucking finish page 14 this is killing meeee <- did this during the call

probably time for lunch? steam meat buns <- vege guy is bringing lunch overrrr no need to do this anymore

[mysticmellowlove]

Yan x fem sub

She wants to take a trip…alone. It’s not like she’s going to another country or anything she’s just going to another state for a spa weekend get away retreat. She owns her own companies and has a lot of stress from handling all of them this year so she just wants to go away for a few days to relax and sign off. So she wants to plan it but wants to tell/ask him first. More so tell. She is sitting with him one day or goes up to him and tells her his plans. How I picture it: “I want to go on a trip to a spa this weekend just to to three days.” Him being happy about going on another trip with her “…but….alone.” He immediately gasps on the inside confused lol.

a/n; this is just a little something something because I feel a little guilty about my output at the moment. i want to write but the words ain't wording you know?

warnings; mentions of sex

"Alone? As in like all alone?" He questioned as you took a sip of your wine. The week had been ruthless, it's always ruthless. Owning and successfully running multiple businesses are two different things after all. All day every day you have people coming after you, asking for money or free jobs. There are men at all the conferences you go to asking where your husband is (he's at home of course building his model ships and uploading the videos to his dedicated YouTube fanbase.) accompanied by their wives who look like they're about to fall asleep.

That's when your assistant suggested a weekend away, just for you.

It was a perfect idea, basically all of her ideas were perfect though. The only problem was your boyfriend himself, he was more than needy... he was insatiable. When you weren't at work he was by your side, chatting away and gently running his hands over your thighs. You knew he was imagining fucking his cock into them, it was one of his favourite things to do after all.

When you were at work? He was texting your phone constantly, updates on the house, updates on the cats next door, his little vege garden and of course updates on his models. Sometimes if you were lucky he'd send a nude of himself posing in front of the mirror.

"Yeah. like a little getaway. You know I've been working so hard recently and all of it has really gotten to me, I just need some time alone." You hummed as you looked at him, his fork was stabbed into his steak fingers tense around the metal.

"Yeah...yeah, alone." He muttered almost to himself. You could see his teeth grit as his jaw hardened, eventually, he gave in and loosened his death grip on the fork.

"Fine, I mean that sounds reasonable." He hummed as he looked over at you, there was a certain glint in his eyes though. One you recognised well. You raised your eyebrow as you studied him intently, he didn't give anything away but he didn't need to.

Your partner had a dark past. The only reason you had taken him in at all was because he was threatening to do something drastic, something that should and will be left in the past. You knew he had plenty of tricks up his sleeves that no one would expect from a docile guy like him. That's why you didn't believe him when he agreed.

"So that means no appearing out of nowhere, or tracking my phone or hiring someone to follow me." You scoffed as you bit into your own steak. He nodded his mind obviously elsewhere. He held his hands up in agreement and to placate you. A sigh left your mouth, so it had been decided. You'd be taking a break at an exotic spa all alone and your boyfriend was definitely not going to show up there and ruin everything.

Your lips pursed, you'd leave your vibrator behind and swap it for lube, seeing as there was no way he was going to sit here at home. His dick was always better than a vibrating toy anyway...

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball Super 066

“Sorry, folks, not even I can save this story.”

Last time, Goku tried to hit Zamasu with a Kamehameha, and he couldn’t win the beam struggle, and that made Goku mad!  I mean really really mad! So he tried harder and it ended up going through Zamasu’s Holy Wrath Bomb or whatever it’s called. 

And Zamasu survives the blast, but half his body turns into purple glop.  Goku capitalizes by kicking him in the purple part.  See, that’s smart.  Hurt the guy and then work the injured body part. 

Unfortunately, Goku’s arms have gone limp, I guess from the effort he put into the Kamehameha?  So he’s gotta do this with just his feet now.

Then Zamasu twists his ankle, and that seems pretty bad.  I mean, Goku still has one foot left, but what good could that do him--?

Oh.  Well then. 

I totally forgot that Goku used the Kaio-ken in this arc.  I was beginning to wonder why he never used it, but now that he’s using it here, it seems more appropriate that he held off until now.  The last time he tried stacking Kaio-ken on Super Saiyan Blue, it fucked him up pretty badly, so I can understand why he’d be reluctant to try again.  But now, he’s down to one foot, and Zamasu is finally showing signs of vulnerability.  Goku smells blood in the water, and he’s much more willing to take the risk now that he’s got an opening. 

And this seems to fuck up Zamasu pretty badly. It doesn’t take the fight out of him, but he convulses and his body distorts, and then he screams for Divine Lighting to strike him, so I think he’s attacking his own body now. 

This gives the good guys time to regroup, and Gowasu suggests that the fusion might have worked against Zamasu’s immortality.  Remember, only one of the two Zamasu’s had an indestructible body, so when they combined together, that introduced a destructible, mortal body into the equation.  I hadn’t considered it before, but this may be why Goku Black recruited another Zamasu to his cause in the first place.  His plan depended on switching bodies with Goku, but while that made him more powerful, it also left him trapped in a body with a much shorter lifespan.  Maybe fusing with the other Zamasu was always part of the plan, since their combined body would have the normal Kai longevity, like how the Elder Kai was after he fused with that old witch.

So Zamasu is still indestructible, but he isn’t recovering from injuries as quickly or as perfectly as he was before.  And this might explain the last few offensive moves used against him.  Trunks and Vegeta did that Father-Son Gallick Gun on him, and it seemed to have no effect, but then Goku followed through with a Kamehameha.  So I think the Gallick Gun kind of softened him up for Goku’s attack, and then that softened him up even further for the Kaio-ken attack, and now the dam has burst.  Zamasu is far from beaten, but his body is beginning to deterioriate from all this punishment he’s taking.   If he was all-immortal, this would be no problem at all, and if he were all-mortal then he might be dead by now, but if he were all-mortal, then he would have been smart enough to avoid these hits instead of taking them head-on. 

Wait, I just realized, this is why the dub keeps calling it an “invincible body” instead of an “immortal body”.  Zamasu keeps railing against “mortals”, meaning non-deities.  His body is “immortal” in the sense that he can’t die.  This could be sort of confusing, because the gods in Dragon Ball all seem to have finite lifespans, so they can die, which means they are mortal, but they’re not mortal in the other sense of the term.  This wasn’t an issue in Japanese, since they have two words for this, but Funimation had to swap out “immortality” for something else, and they ran with “invincibility”.  Fair play.

So Gowasu speculates that it might be possible to defeat Zamasu in this half-immortal state, but only if they hit him with a lot of power all at once.  And by that, Gowasu means more power than they’ve been able to muster so far.  So Goku proposes fusion.  Vegeta hates that idea, but he can’t argue with the reasoning.  I like this shot of Trunks handing him a Potara earring and a senzu bean.  It’d be funny if he screwed up and swallowed the earring while trying to put the bean on his ear.   “Rassum frassum... gulp!  Oh, dammit.”

While Vegeta gets ready, Goku takes this moment to ask Gowasu why their previous Potara fusion in the Buu Saga wore off.  Back then, the Elder Kai claimed that Potara fusion was permanent, and we have empirical evidence of this.  The Elder Kai himself is a fusion of a Kai and an old witch, and they’ve been bound together for thousands of years, maybe longer.  And Kibitoshin stayed fused for a long time as well, only coming unglued when they used the Namekian Dragon Balls. 

But Gowasu explains that this is because those fusions involved at least one Kai.  When anyone else does it, the Potara only maintain the fusion for one hour.  That still doesn’t track with what we see in the Buu Saga, since Vegito didn’t seem to be around that long, but we’ll come back to that.

So Vegito’s back in the game and he goes Super Saiyan Blue right off the bat.  He lays into Zamasu and for the most part it’s quite satisfying.  It’s just nice to see any version of Zamasu getting pressured at all. 

The animation is a step up from recent episodes, which earned this one a lot of praise, although I’ve never been too impressed about it.  I mean, it’s good animation, I’m not disputing this.  It’s just that I’m much more concerned with good storytelling, and it feels like this entire arc was written in order to produce this Vegito Blue vs. Fused Zamasu fight, and I don’t feel like it was worth it.  The previous 18 episodes that set up this moment were pretty bad, and I’m not sure they actually set any of this up.

Like, okay, in the Buu Saga, Goku introduced the idea of fusion as a way to stop Majin Buu, but he couldn’t do it himself, so it ended up being Gotenks’ job to win.  Then Gotenks lost, and Gohan was able to step in, and then that fell through, so now there’s no choice, Goku has to fuse with Vegeta, but there’s still a lot of bad blood between them from before.  But there’s no other way, and they do it, and then Vegito wrecks Buu’s shit for four glorious episodes. 

Here, it really just comes down to “Hey, the bad guys used Potara fusion, so we should do it too.”  You don’t need a long story arc to set that up, because the Potara are common knowledge now.  In the Buu Saga, they were a plot device, a clever twist to reveal that there was a way for Goku and Vegeta to fuse after all.  Also, Vegeta’s not nearly as bitter about the idea as he was in the Buu Saga.  He and Goku are friends now, even if he doesn’t want to admit it, and he’s practical enough to see fusion as a sensible play here.  It also helps that Goku never brings it up unless there’s no other alternative. 

That’s the problem with bringing back old ideas and techniques.  They’re still popular, sure.  I love me some fusion.  But the novelty has worn off, and the spontaneity you had in the Buu Saga is gone now.  Fans knew fusion was coming the moment they saw Goku Blake’s earring, and they knew Emperor Pilaf rambling about nothing in particular wasn’t going to make it happen any sooner.  So most of these 18 episodes had nothing to do with setting up this one. 

Also, while I’m a big Vegito fan, maybe it was a mistake to have Goku and Vegeta be the ones to use fusion here.  At least if it had been Vegeta and Trunks this time, we would have gotten a fresh take on an old classic.  And it might have played better with the theme of this arc, where Trunks couldn’t beat the bad guys on his own, but in the end he finds that he has to do it without his father’s help.  Just throwing that out there.

Because that’s kind of how this episode plays out.  Trunks helps evacuate the survivors to that garage Bulma brought with her, and then Mai gives him the broken sword from the last episode.  The kids picked it up and they wanted Mai to make sure she returned it.  And this convinces Trunks that he has to handle this himself.  He can’t rely on Goku and Vegeta any longer.

So he channels his power into the sword and makes an energy blade with it, I guess, and then he flies off to rejoin the fight.

Meanwhile, Vegito seems to be doing just fine.  He blows away Zamasu with a Final Kamehameha, which is probably the attack Gowasu had in mind when they started this part of the fight...

... But Zamasu is still breathing, so he goes to attack again, but the fusion dissolves before Vegito can follow through.  It hasn’t been anywhere close to an hour, but Gowasu suggests that this may be due to the intense energy Vegito was putting out.  Oh, also that Kaio-ken stunt Goku pulled might have worked against them here.  Just a thought.

Then Trunks jumps in and starts hitting him with his new energy sword deal, and this seems to hurt Zamasu a lot.  More than anything Vegito did to him, actually.

And as he fights, the survivors who cheer for Trunks begin to glow white.

Not just them, but the other survivors around the world, including people who may not have even met Trunks.  Okay, now I can see those people in the back more clearly.  I guess Android 8 is standing guard over their shelter.

And Trunks sees the ki coming from all over the world and powering him up.  It’s all the people giving him their power, like Goku’s Spirit Bomb, but no one consciously tried to make this happen.  Trunks just rolls with it, and his aura turns blue, and his sword blade gets huge.  He manages to stab Zamasu...

... And starts cutting him in half!  Dick-first!  Brutal!

KONO DIO DA!  KONO DIO DAAAAAAAA!

So yeah, this is stupid as hell.  Vegito shot this dipshit with a Final Kamehameha, and nothing happened.  Then Trunks improvises this attack with a broken sword and vanilla Super Saiyan, and that does the trick?  What the hell is going on here? 

The idea seems to be that Trunks is doing a Spirit Bomb style attack.  That���s fine, except for a couple of things.  First, Trunks never learned the Spirit Bomb.  I mean, maybe it’s not that hard for him to accomplish at this level.  I mean, he figured out the Mafuba pretty quickly, so how much harder could a Spirit Bomb be?  The bigger gripe here is that he wasn’t even trying to do this.  It just sort of worked out on its own.  And maybe that’s how the Spirit Bomb has always worked.  Maybe it’s actually really easy to do, as long as everyone who donates energy is already aware of your cause.   Goku’s problem was that hardly anyone knows who he is or what he’s up to.  But in this world, literally everyone is rooting for Trunks.

But that brings me to my second objection.  How many people are left in this world to donate energy for this?  I mean, Black killed most of the population, which probably still hadn’t recovered from the Androids and Cell.  We never get an estimate on that, and Zamasu seemed to be purposely taking his time about killing everyone, so maybe there’s several million people left, and I just don’t get it. 

All I’m saying here is that it took the entire population of Earth to make a Spirit Bomb strong enough to kill Kid Buu. Trunks must be working with a much smaller pool of ki here, and yet he seems to have destroyed a much stronger opponent with it.  This has always bugged me.

However, it could be that the only reason this worked at all was because of the damage Zamasu took earlier.  The Gallick Gun, the Kamehameha, the Kaio-ken Blue kick, the Spirit Sword to the chest, the Final Kamehameha, all of those moves may have set up Zamasu so Trunks big move here could chop him in half.  That’s the best explanation I can come up with, anyway.

And I could accept this, except that they spent so many episodes before this where big flashy moves never seemed to bother the fighters at all.  Then again, that was when Black and Zamasu were still using two bodies, and they kept using double-team tactics to protect each other.  So maybe it’s works after all.  Still, it would be nice if they could have explained any of that during this episode.  I mean, Gowasu’s just standing there with nothing to do.  Have him comment on Zamasu’s power level as the fight progresses.

Anyway, we’ve just got on more episode to go before we’re done with this mess.  Gimme strength.

[masseffectdoctor]

Tagged by a new mutual @vladimirpootietang

1. are you named after anyone?: Not as far as I'm aware. First and LAST of my name.

2. when was the last time you cried?: I'm like physically incapable of crying. Think the last time I cried was a few months back during some really really bad times.

3. do you have kids?: nah, but when I squat in a house till it's legally mine catch me adopting as far away from an agency as humanly possible.

4. do you use sarcasm a lot?: I am a sarcastic asshole. Like yeah I know how to behave, but sometimes motherfuckers just need to get snarked

5. what sports do you play/have played?: I did a good few here and there. Mainly when I was a kid, I was in wrestling in high school though. After I fucked up my knees though I can't really do sports anymore

6. what’s the first thing you notice about people?: It depends on the person, usually their tone or their eyes. General body language maybe?

7. scary movies or happy endings?: Little from column A little from column B

8. any special talents?: I'm told I have a silver tongue. I'm a pretty personable guy when I want to be. I've always somehow managed to be the guy who knows a guy, or be the guy who knows how to get that thing that you want/need.

9. where were you born?: What are you a cop?

10. what are your hobbies?: Gaming Mostly. I like to write and read. I spend a lot of my free time either veging out, or doing activism.

11. do you have any pets?: I sure do! Two mutts, a little cat, and a snake. More to come in the future.

12. how tall are you?: 6'2"

13. favorite subject in school?: I didn't really like any subjects in school. In college I kind of just bounced around a lot. I like humanities and things to do with like film and video games and stuff.

14. your dream job?: I've had a few dream jobs, but I don't necessarily like to dream of labor. I like to think of things I'd be okay with doing and capable of That would benefit the community I live in. In an ideal world I don't have to be compensated for it

15. Eye color?: Brown

@strawbebbynya @deadasdisco @indig-queer @blitchen @zombiebrainsoup

[tsuki-sennin]

Yo, what is UP, everybody!? And Happy New Year! The latest DGP season, Divergence, is about to air! What manner of wicked trickery have Ace, Keiwa, and Neon gotten themselves wrapped up in this time? Who are our new friends Lopo and... Nadge-Sparrow?

Comin' at you live from... somewhere, it's Spoilers, I guess...

-Ah, yeah, I have been enjoying this drama, haha

-...pretty sure there was an entire movie that's not gonna be subbed for a while, but such is life.

-Ultimate Superstar Geats, Ukiyo Ace!

-Celebrity Heiress Heroine Na-Go, Neon Kurama!

-Prodigy Quiz Show King Nadge-Sparrow, Daichi Isuzu!

-Fastest Woman in the World Lopo, Sae Ganaha!

-And Keiwa, I guess

-Holy shit, not a single clap hjklhl

-Ahhhhh, Ace's got a past with these guys.

-KEIWA HJKLGHg

-Poor Keiwa-kun.

-It's okay Keiwa-kun! You've got me lighting up for you!

-Oooooh, don't think I didn't notice the changes in the op. "Who is the back stabber" indeed.

-Oh shit, starting out super strong, huh?

-Jamato Time.

-Ooooooh, Neon got comebacks!

-Gotta say new guys, I really like them suits.

-Ah, looks like Lopo's pretty tricky?

-Nadgey too!

-"Good job, everybody! You're all gonna live here instead!"

-"Oh Christ, we have three weirdos in charge of this game in a row."

-Oh my god

-Chiram!

-Fresh veges?

-Camera!

-Oh! We're literally in survivor mode now!

-There's sussies among us!

-I can't believe this is the timeline I currently live in.

-I wonder how the Tsuki-Sennin of the Geiz Revive timeline would be reacting to his time with Shinobi?

-Oh god fucking dammit, they said among us in the subtitles.

-Distrust and backstabbing! Thrills! Chills! Kills!

-Azumaaaa!

-I missed you!

-He's literally a zombie now!

-Archimedel...

-"Ooooooooooh, Keiwa's in love with a girl~!"

-Thank you Sara, very cool.

-No internet. No TV.

-Until Takahashi says otherwise, I'm sticking with my headcanon that they're being broadcast to various Sentai and PreCure worlds. Mainly because Godatz absolutely would put betting pools on these people's lives.

-Nooooo Keiwa-kuuuun!

-"Where the hell did this tent come from!?"

-Ah, Quiz Guy won't let Keiwa in either.

-Aaaaaace

-Aceless.

-"Ace is the impostor and a stream sniping little bitch."

-Oh shit, the execcutive dude.

-Jean! Ace's sponsor!

-Ohhhhhhhh, he knows a lot.

-Old Maid! A favorite of mine.

-Nadgey has done thirty thousand equations in his head.

-"I want all of humanity's knowledge."

-Asking for the Gaia Library, huh?

-"Who's that guy though...?"

-"Just the next Game Master of this show."

-Playing the nepotism card!

-...hate that he's actually right on two counts though.

-There's a sussy baka amidst we.

-Who're we vote kicking?

-Oooooh, Keiwaaaa!

-"Oh let the boy do what he wants. He'll learn."

-So uh... what did you guys do to Mitsume?

-Jamato Municipal High School!

-Heeeeenshin~!

-Let's get sent to the principal's office~!

-Damn, Lopo's awesome.

-I can't believe Toei discovered that women are cool.

-Neeeeeeeerd! Studyin!

-...I can't imagine how horrifying it'd be to be ground up into burger meat and have the creature you spawn traipse around in cosplay and die.

-"Beat up a nerd for free stuff!"

-Oooooooh, there it is! The movie buckle.

-Gigant Blaster!

-That's a huge bitch!

-Of course! Make one! It's that easy!

-Jya?

-Mr. Principal!

-Lobo with the defenestration!

-Even the delinquents respect Principal Soylent!

-Gigant Hammer!

-Holy shit, Ace.

-Gigant Sword!

-Literally God.

-Mission Complete! Yeah!

-Oh?

-No, Keiwaaaaaaa!

-It deliberately smacks him.

-Good job, gamers. Nobody's going home today!

-Oooooh, everybody hates Keiwa except me.

-I don't really see why people'd like Nadge so much. I mean, he isn't super interesting, and if there's one thing I know about people who'd spend all day watching people fight and possibly die in a reality show, it's that they really like to fixate on women.

-"Get up, nerd. You need to be reminded."

-Seikai no da.

-Jesus Christ, this garden gives me nasty feelings.

-Oooooooh., that's a big scary bitch.

-"You're up~!"

-Oh god, the sounds

-Ohhhhhhh shiiiiiiiiit!

-It's the fireman!

-Goutokuji! Kinjo-san!

-If you commit a murder and get away with it, you graduate, gotcha.

-Footbaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall!

-"I'm NOT the sussy baka, I'm NOT!"

[casspurrjoybell-29]

Forging Ties - Chapter 9 - Part 2

*Warning - Adult Content*  

Once they were outside, Hamish drew a breath in through his teeth and tightened the strings on his coat to ward off the chill.

"You're quite the social butterfly when you want to be."

"Well, those people were kind enough to let me work my charms on them, unlike some people I could mention."

He tried to give Hamish a glare but couldn't help the smile that crept onto his lips.

Hamish chuckled.

"Ah, except your charms clearly have worked on me, even if it took you a while to figure out the best strategy."

Duran's smile faded and he shook his head.

"I'm not trying to manipulate you anymore, Hamish. I mean, when we first met I was but not now. You know that right?"

"I do," Hamish replied. "But it's still a little unsettling to see how well you can put on a show. You looked happier than I'd ever seen you in there, smiling away at everyone. If I didn't know you, I might have thought you were genuinely enjoying yourself."

Duran shrugged.

"I guess it's something that comes with the territory. As much as I hate to stereotype, I think it's fair to say that slaves are often good at pretending to be something they're not. Except for Fanner, maybe. That sweet boy never could quite master the art of pretending."

"I've seen plenty of that before, of course. You're just exceptionally good at it."

"Am I?" Duran asked. "Or am I just so exceptionally candid when I'm not doing it that it stands out?"

Hamish let out a long breath.

"Now there's a question."

"Never trust anyone who's always happy, who never says no and always tells you what you want to hear. They're either a snake like me or they don't know how to stand up for themselves. Either way, the truth will come out eventually and you won't like it."

"Maybe that should be my rule," Hamish said. "No sex with ex-slaves unless they're willing and able to tell me to go fuck myself."

Duran raised an eyebrow.

"You really do like your rules, don't you?"

"Well, to be honest, I'm not very good at saying no," Hamish admitted.

"And speaking of my insatiable sex drive, I was planning on spending the night with Roman and Eli. Care to join us?"

"Hmm," Duran said. "Three times the human? Yes, I think I will."

"You don't mind group sex, then?"

Duran shrugged.

"I don't know if it's fair to ask me if I like things that I've only experienced in bad ways. Do I like it? I don't know. Maybe? I suppose if it's like what we did before but more, then why not?"

"I understand," Hamish said. "I know you hate it when I fuss over you but I just want to make sure you're comfortable."

Duran let out a deep sigh.

"It's fine, Hamish. I give you a hard time but I'll admit that I know I don't have to worry about being outnumbered in a situation like this because you're on my side and you're so annoyingly caring that there's no room to doubt that. I know you won't get caught up in things and stop caring about me. So thank you, asshole."

"Aww, you're welcome," Hamish said, grinning.

"That's not encouragement for you to do it more," Duran warned. "It's still annoying."

"Uh Huh."

Duran groaned.

"You'll never stop now, will you?"

"Well..." Hamish said, his grin widening. "Nah."

"Fuck."

With the help of Duran's mage-light, they found the way to the path they'd first entered through and followed it.

"Huh?" Hamish said when they came to the clearing and found the naked woman still sitting on the ground in front of the stone monument, surrounded by the Fae exactly as she had been when they'd last seen her.

Cookie was laying on the other side of the stone, sprawled out on the ground.

"Is this... okay?" Duran asked as Hamish set the basket down and Cookie wandered over to check out her dinner.

"Is she okay?"

"She's fine," a voice said, and Duran jumped as he looked up to see Kit standing next to the woman.

"I mean, she's naked in this weather. She'd be dead if she wasn't being protected."

Hamish watched as Cookie crammed fistfuls of vegetable scraps into her mouth.

"We've fed Cookie enough to get a conversation out of you, have we?"

"When I feel like it," Kit said. "I've been talking to her, to Vonnie. Seeing what she's seeing. They're trying to understand the Fae."

"Are they succeeding?"

Kit shrugged.

"It's confusing and chaotic, like what might happen to your brain if you took every hallucinogenic drug at once. It's like... well, I was going to say it's like when you open a random file type as a text document and it just gives you a bunch of random symbols and letters that make no sense at all but I guess neither of you would understand that, so never mind. It's like we're trying to interpret something that our brains were never designed to understand."

"I don't know what any of that means but I like your funny words," Hamish said.

He emptied the rest of the vegetable scraps out of the basket onto the ground, then turned to Duran.

"Ready to head back?"

Duran nodded.

"Our new human friends better have waited for us."

"Oh, I'm sure they have."

[boyakishantriage]

"AHHHHH"

The human was running around, the other humans had just gotten off the ship as she ran around arms flailing as the wildlife chased after her. Running up a tree, one of the humans threw her a weapon. Still screaming, she began firing down the tree. The shotgun began letting pellets, pack animals running off as she began firing at what seemed to be snakes.

"AHHHHH VEGE SNAKES!"

"Ellie! WHAT THE FUCK?"

"I found a shiny rock." She stated, tossing it to her friend as she dragged her into the ship.

"ELLIE. WE'RE TRYING TO-"

She reloaded the gun. Accidentally firing the trigger, pellets just barely missing the crew.

"Just don't kill anyone."

"Oh, I'm sorry. But next-"

She sat in the captain's office. Again. With the broken armed Quack flaring at the human.

"So. You jumped off the ship for a shiny rock, got chased by a pack animal and broke a crewmembers arm for taking a rock."

"SHINY ROCK. but yes."

"... How do you have three doctorates?"

"Being smart has never stopped me from being stupid."

The captain ultimately let me go. Couldn't really charge me for being impulsive.

OOH WHAT'S THAT?

The human then ran off to follow the escort group, grabbing the shotgun off her friend as she ran after the group.

"... Are all humans like this?"

"Depends on the day, sugar level, gender..."

"Forget about it."

"Tastes like tomato."

"... What."

I looked at the rhino looking alien.

"I said. It tastes like- Oh look a bear."

"... What?"

A large black blob, ignoring the group as the woman began climbing trees. Managing to grab onto some fruit before falling into the ground.

"HUMAN-"

"Hey. I'm fine. No fall damage."

"what??"

"the gravity's less here."

"OH MY GOD. LOOK AT WHAT THE MOMMA KITTY GAVE ME!"

The expedition group came back with several logs of caffine, a tree trunk the human had dumped all the samples in and a young animal.

"..."

"I don't know either."

"It's been a day."

"4 hours actually."

"I thought it was 2?"

"no it's four."

"Oh right."

Most of the none human crew watched, mostly in awe as the humans set up camp, noted the local flora and fauna as well as a small pen for the animals to go into since most of the humans were either busy or similar. In four hours. Four hours since the first expedition team was sent out, the humans had organised, set up and now examined samples from the planet.

The captain sat down. For the first time in a long time. He was surprised. Humans were peculiar on the ship, having stripped the excess, rigged his ship to go much faster than it should've and turning mining weapons in actual weapons when pirates attacked. And even then, they'd bashed the pirates with everything and anything. 50 humans, 50 humans had very precariously ran circles around his crew. And apparently this was a random filler group.

"y'know. I thought it was obvious when I say most of these people are like. The best of the best right?"

"... Excuse me?"

"so. The UEN is kinda slow, I called a bunch of my friends and then they called their friends and I then dragged them all to space because the diplomat said that I couldn't find a group before he'd finish dinner. I got my friends on flights by lunch. FUCK THAT POSHO!"

". Are you insane."

"yes."

" ... Is this species insane?"

"Probably?"

"... Is this like. Standard in your species?"

"Kinda. We're a lot more. Relaxed. Not as fast, usually when we explore we just kinda. Fuck around and find out."

" Are you-"

"Yes.

[beef-brisket]

Lucifer stayed in his study for hours, and thankfully he actually learned something interesting. As long as the first humans occupied the same realm, whether that be Eden, Earth, Heaven or Hell, they could communicate with each other. He didn't know Heaven made that even possible when the humans were first created, but here we are.

This was definitely going to be an issue, especially if Lilith was going to use it against him- he knows she will. So Lucifer better find a way to stop it before she gets too close. And fuck, she definitely knows Adams here now.

She's nothing Lucifer can't handle, but he was hoping to spend a few hundred years in peace, mainly so he can rebuild his relationship with Adam and so Adam can learn what his powers are, and how to control them.

He heard a soft knock at his door. He smiled, he instantly knew who it was.

Lucifer: come in, dove!

Adam pushed open the door with his back, carrying a tray of food and drink inside.

Adam: hey Luci, Fredreek and Ellen made dinner, thought I'd bring it up for you-

Lucifer: Frank and Eliana? Who are they?

Adam rolled his eyes as he sat the stray a small table next to Lucifers desk.

Adam: Fredreek and Ellen, their your chefs

Lucifer: ah! I see! Amd what's on the menu tonight?

Adam: uh... they said steak and... a few different veges, they didn't really say

Lucifer: hm, it'll do- join me Adam, I've got something to talk to you about.

Adam sat down at the chair that was spawned in for him yesterday. He never took his eyes off Lucifer. He was slightly worried about whatever it is their going to talk about.

Adam: what is it, Luci?

Lucifer: I found out how you were able to hear Lilith and I talking earlier- and more importantly, how she was able to actually speak to you. All of this was in your head?

Adam: yeah, all of it.

Lucifer: to tell you what I know, I'll have to tell you a little about your past. Did you want to hear that?

Adam: yeah... I'm scared though, she really wants to hurt me Luci, how horrible must I have been to warrant what she said to me?

Lucifer: I only know about the beginning of your life, Addie, unfortunately I can't tell you more than the first few years

Adam: first few years? Okay... I'm... sorry I don't remember you- I wish I did, I really like you, I can just imagine how much I loved you back then!

Lucifer winced, remembering the way Adam begged to spend time with him in the original garden of Eden, what hurt more was the way Lucifer remembered shoving him off when he gripped his robe. He was so angry at Adam, hated him almost, all those things Lilith said- only for Lucifer to realize they were all lies. If he wasn't so weak and hurt when he landed down here, he would have ended her pathetic life.

None of that compared to the look om Adams face when he found him and Lilith under the forbidden tree. Adam looked so betrayed, and worst off, it wasn't because of what Lilith did, but what Lucifer did. Adam never loved Lilith, but he loved Lucifer. And all he could do was smile at Adam, and strolling over to him like he didn't just destroy the first man's heart.

Eden!Lucifer: you're nothing Adam, God rarely makes mistakes but you? You were his biggest-. I honestly can't believe they'd make Eden the home of such a vile creation. I hope humanity learns of how you broke the first woman, and drove her away- you're not good enough for her or for me. You're unlovable Adam, the sooner you realize that, the sooner Lilith and I can live without some feral man following us around, looking for attention.

Lucifer was stuck in his memories. He doesn't know what happened to Adam after that, the last he saw was his tears and him running deep into Eden. He knew about Eve of course, how he laughed when he heard Heaven wouldn't be bothered making a whole new human, and they just used a piece of Adam. "How can you create such a divine human from just trash?" He remembered saying that to Eve, to give her credit, she did stand up for Adam- but she didn't exactly say he was wrong.

Fuck, he was glad Adam lost his memories, he wouldn't know what he'd do if the first man remembered the original Eden and started to hate him-

Adam: Luci? You alright?

Lucifer jumped up, and smiled at Adam. Stuck in his own head again, he really needs to stop that.

Lucifer: of course! Sorry, dove! Just a lot going on- now! Your past! I'm only going to reveal what I know

Adam: sure Luci...

Lucifer sat back, he had to watch his words.

Lucifer: you were one of thebfirst humans ever created. Created by God himself, with some input from the angels. I knew you when you were first created- well, sort of, I had to come see you a couple of times but other than that-

Adam: who was the other human?

Lucifer: ... Lilith. We fell down here together, it was all a big misunderstanding- she lied and tricked me. But- flthat doesn't matter right now. You and Lilith were the first humans, and spent a lot of time together

Adam: that's... amazing... so... why does she hate me so much?

Lucifer: because... because- that's just her! She saw how perfect you were, you listened to heaven, which made you have an easy life, living in peace! And she couldn't help but make trouble! She never listened to Heaven or the angels, I tried to stop her-! But-but Heaven thought I corrupted her- and made her eat that damn apple- so we fell

Adam: apple?

Lucifer: the forbidden fruit, whoever eats gains unlimited knowledge! She wanted to be free from Heavens rule, and do whatever she wanted. I- ...I believed her when she said... she wanted to leave.

Adam: what about me? Did I want to leave?

Lucifer: no, dove. You were very happy where you were, which pleased the angels. You were good Adam, you didn't deserve Heaven, they didn't deserve you- look at what they did to you! You're rightful place is with me, as it should have always been

Adam: ...I wish I fell with you, Luci. Maybe then I would have my memories, of you! I'd love to have known what we were like back then

Lucifer: yes... well, we had a lot of good times.

Lucifer smiled remembering all the times he'd play hide and seek with Adam, who always hid underwater in one of the smaller ponds in Eden, he'd always try and scare Lucifer by jumping out when he got too close.

Lucifer: anyway- that's why you could hear Lilith and I, and all that crap she was saying to you- the first humans can communicate with each other with their minds. No matter the distance, as long as you're in the same realm.

Adam: I can... talk to her?

Lucifer: yes.

Adam: and she can talk to me?

Lucifer: yep.

Adam: ...can you stop that from happening? I really... don't want to speak to her

Lucifer: I'm so glad you asked! I have got a way for that to stop happening- and I think you're going to love this! I made it myself~!

Lucifer bend over and pulled open a draw in his desk, pulling out a small, velvet box.

Lucifer: here it is!

He beamed at Adam, reaching his free hand over the table, towards Adam.

Adam stared at the box then Lucifers hand, he was a tad confused. He gripped lucifers hand with his own, and smiled back at him. He had a good feeling about this, even though he was nervous.

Lucifer used his magic to open the box, and inside was a gorgeous, silver ring with a red and black gem in the middle. The black curled around the gem like veins, and the red basically glowed, Adam could feel the power.

Lucifer: this is a ring. It'll bind us in a way that will protect you from anything that wishes you harm, if anything dares to get close to you, I will know about it. And Lilith can't breach your mind while you have this on. I made it using my power and the very essence of Hell.

Adam: Luci... it's beautiful! I love it!

Lucifer I'm so pleased my dove, would you like me to put it on?

Adam: yes please!

As soon as it was on, Adam felt complete and whole. Like all the lose strands inside him finally came together. He could feel his power mix eith Lucifers and Hells. A few gold flashes appeared in the gem. Just when Adam thought it couldn't be more perfect. Lucifer smiled.

Finally, Adam was officially his. For as long as he deems fit.

Hiya! I have another au for you! I'm loving our vampire rp, it's so good! I'm really enjoying it!

This one is a little different, with a darker Lucifer, which I'm really starting to love.

The idea is that after Adam and Eve were cast out, Lucifer and Lilith became extremely powerful, Lucifer could rival in power to the strongest archangels and maybe even god himself.

The idea in this is that after falling, Lucifer and Lilith blamed each other for the fall and separated. Lilith was queen of the lower rings, while Lucifer ruled the upper rings. He's more powerful than her because of his angel status, but he let's her do her own thing, as long as she's not causing trouble.

Lucifer eventually taps into the raw power of Hell, which slowly starts tainting his mind, he's still him but he can lose control sometimes. Heaven eventually starts to learn how powerful Hell is and what can happen to Lucifer and Liltih- power wise. So they start making an army, creating angels specifically for war.

Lucifer has a few angels in Heaven that speak to him in secret, angels that don't agree with Heavans rules and secretly. They keep him up to date on what Heavens up to, so he starts forging a plan after learning of the angelic army.

Once Adam and Eve die, and they arrive in Heaven. Eve starts to live her afterlife in peace, waiting for her children.

Lucifer learned of a new weapon Heaven was making, something that could control a part of Heavens power. Once he learns that new weapon will be Adam, Lucifer decides to take Adam for himself.

Luicfer manages to get himself back into heaven, without them knowing, he's shocked to see that he was completely remade, hopefully his memories were in tacked.

---

Lucifer materialized in a cage-like room, he had no idea something this dark and unkempt could belong in Heaven. It made him almost uneasy.

Lucifer: why would they keep their precious first man here?

The darkness was almost suffocating, like it was affecting the air itself. The angelic steel bars still managed to shine bright, using that light, Lucifer squinted inside the cage, his eyes widened as he saw the vague outline of a body, kneeling on the floor, a chain connecting to the back wall to a silver collar around their neck.

Lucifer: Adam? Buddy, is that you? Long time no see-!

The body moved, head tilting up, and looking ahead. The scrapping of heavy chains against the stone floor made Lucifer wince a tad. Why are they using such thick chains on him? He's a human, nothing special.

Lucifer: I know we left off on a bad note! But I'd like to make it up to you~ let me help you with whatever the HELL Heaven is doing to you, huh?

Lucifer stuck his arm through the bars, smiling as the metal started to bed and melt away. His smile stopped as a giant hand reached out, and grabbed his hand. The amount of strength was impressive, Lucifer was so confused- he followed the outline of the person as they stood.

Lucifer: you're a big fuck aren't you-?

Adam: w-will you help me? I-it hurts-

Lucifer: I can see that buddy, I'll help you! But you have to do something for me~

Lucifer pulled his hand away, and straightened his outfit. It's taking a lot of his power to stay in Heaven, hidden.

Adam: y-yes sir, what do you need?

Lucifer: stop with the formalities Adam! We've been friends- well, acquaintances for years now!

Adam: I-I'm sorry sir- I don't know you, Heavens never introduced u-us-. P-please forgive me f-for not knowing you

Adam starts to collapse, but manages to catch himself against the wall. Never heard of him? Lucifer is definitely confused now. Fucking Heaven, they really think there's a good enough reason to mess with a humans memories? Why Adam? Why did the angels pick him? It doesn't matter at the moment, Lucifer needs to make his deal, let Adam fall to Hell, and set his plan into motion.

Lucifer: i- uh... never mind that right now buddy, I'll explain everything later. If you make a deal with me, I can help you!

Adam: w-what do you need from me-?

Lucifer: oh, nothing much~ just your soul~ aand your loyalty, company, body amd whatever power you have~! All for your freedom. You will cone with me, stay with me, at my home~ you'll be free Adam, free to speak your mind, do whatever you want, within reason of course- and most importantly, think for yourself.

Lucifer smiled as Adam made his way over to the edge of the cage, he was unsteady but doing a good job at staying up right. Although that chain wasn't helping. Lucifer couldn't help but gasp, as Adam's face came into what little light the bars had. His eyes were gold. Brighter than any other angels, shone like Hell fire.

Lucifer whispered: you're perfect...

Adam: I'll take your deal- please, get m-me out o-of here- please

Lucifer: of course, Adam! All you have to do, is shake my hand~

Adam watched as a clawed, black ashen hand slipped through the bars. He felt uneasy about this man- angel? He looks familiar but then he was sure he'd remember someone that looked like that.

He reaches out weakly, grabbing Lucifers hand. He jumps and is amazed by the golden light the swirls around them, he can feel it running through his veins like blood. He couldn't help but follow the golden light. His angelic chain drops off his neck, only to be replaced by a golden one. Lucifer couldn't help but think how beautiful Adam looked, covered in gold. It was really his colour.

Lucifer looked on with awe as he saw Adam fully. His golden wings rested weakly against the floor, his eyes wide with that curiosity that Lucifer loved so much. He couldn't help but glare as he saw the cuts and bruises that littered his body and how thin he looked. He was definitely taller, but surely Heaven would feed the man.

Lucifer: great! Now, the fun part~

Adam stood back as Lucifer began to melt the steel cage.

Lucifer: there~. Now, we must be quick, we do t want any extra company, do we~?

Adam: n-no sir-

As Adam began to limp out of the cage, he stopped as Lucifer put his hand on his chest, forceful enough to push him back slightly.

Lucifer: now, none of that 'sir' thing Addie~. Even though I am now your king, I was your friend first. Do you know my name?

Adam tried to think of a name, his head started to pound, like he was reaching into some void.

Adam: n-no- I- Agh! It hurts to t-think- to remember

Lucifer glared at the flood, fucking Heaven. He smiled up at Adam, it wasn't his fault.

Lucifer: my name is Lucifer, the king of Hell~! But that last bit isn't important right now, let's go Adam.

Adam grabbed Lucifer's hand, and they walked to the middle of the room, he felt so safe with Lucifer. His hand felt perfect in his, like they were made to be together. Adam couldn't stop looking at him, he was beautiful. He's never seen eyes so red, or skin so smooth. He couldn't help but be fascinated by his clothes-

Lucifer: hold on tight Addie~ I won't drop you, but I need you to hold on

The floor underneath the. Burned to life, a burning circle with strange lettering appeared. Just as Adam was taking it in, he felt a gust of wind made him cover his eyes. When he opened, he was amazed to see Lucifers white and red wings, three sets of them! He's only seen a few angels with multiple sets of wings, but none were as beautiful as Lucifers. Adam couldn't help but reach out and graze a feather with his finger.

Lucifer: you'll get a good touch when we get home Addie~ now, say goodbye to the angels~

Fire from the circle surrounded them, the heat was almost unbearable.

The next thing Adam knew; they were falling.

---

The whole idea is a battle between Heaven and Hell. Lucifer is super possessive of Adam, originally using him as a weapon to help him bring down and take control of Heaven. But Lucifer can't help but start having feelings from Eden resurface, it's either a blessing or a curse that Adam doesn't remember anything. Maybe he can make the first man fall for him again, and they can rule over Hell and Heaven together.

Hopefully this is interesting in someway 💀

Okay- bye!

Oh this is SUPER INTERESTING!!! How do you come up with this stuff it's amazing. Also, I love possessive Lucifer lol

-

Adam saw a world bathed mainly in different hues of red, even the sky was red with a giant star.

What was this place?

Lucifer was torn between watching where he was flying and looking at Adams face that was filled with curiosity trying to figure out where the Hell he was.

Literally Hell.

Lucifer dipped down and made a way towards Morningstar Manor and he touched down lightly at the front of the house as he held Adam close.

Lucifer: Let's get you settled in okay? You know, before the physical changes catch up with you and wipe you out.

Adam didn't know what he was talking about but he didn't really care. He was finally out of that cage to never be chained up like an animal ever again.

Lucifer took him inside, first to the kitchen so the poor man could get something to fucking eat. It looked like he hadn't eaten since he died.

He got his chef to cook a lavish meal for Adam to make sure the first man was full.

Adam: Thank you...

Lucifer ran his fingers through Adams hair, loving how soft the brown strands were.

Lucifer: You'll need your strength.~

[alilaro]

not to be crude but YO that tents were lil caius got his cherry popped and thats whats up

[iamnightduchess]

🖋That Post Over There🖋 Series

⏳ (The ReiKasa Edition) ⏳

The young houseman reclined against the wall next to the Paediatrics ward's entrance. She carefully avoided a hospital attendee pushing a trolley full of afternoon treats for the young patients within. She pressed against the side of her neck, trying to ease the strain of the muscle there by taking a long deep breath.

She felt so relieved, like a burden had just been lifted from her shoulders, as soon as she saw the approval signature by her supervising doctor earlier. It also came with a 'Job well done' and a positive encouragement from Dr. Hange Zoë as a neat finishing touch to her daily report. Going through the daily ward rounds with Dr. Zoë is always the best because the older doctor has a quirky sense of humor and has nothing short of good energy around her. Dr. Zoë might be eccentric and unconventional at times, but the Paeds Specialist is one of the best doctors to shadow.

She snuck a glance at the watch on her wrist; half past four. As if on cue, a rumbling sound could be heard coming from her own belly. An embarassing indicator that the young doctor-in-training had skipped not one but two important meals of the day due to the demanding nature of her work.

She quickly made her way towards the ground floor, where the hospital's cafeteria would be.

Another low sigh escaped her lips. She would be counting her lucky stars if she could get a bowl of beef noodle soup at this hour. She couldn't possibly survive the next eight hour shift on energy bars and snacks from the vending machine.

Why haven't anyone invented a vending machine for fresh onigiri yet?

Upon realizing that proper food should be cooked and served fresh, she immediately override her own inner thoughts. Lest she desires for the whole building to flood the triage unit due to mysterious food poisoning.

She exhaled another long sigh. She needs food. Badly.

As soon as she stepped into the almost empty cafeteria, she subconsciously sighed with utter disappointment. Nevertheless, she still marched towards the counter, trying very hard not to break down in tears in front of the lunch lady.

"Hello, doctor," greeted the sweet elderly lady with the floral head wrap, and a floral apron.

"Hello..." Mikasa replied weakly, eyes glazing apprehensively at the remaining meal options available. Clam chowder, chicken sandwich, beef stew. She chose the most fulfilling one of of all - beef. With a side of deep fried vege tempura.

Hurriedly thanking the old lady, she chose a seat at a secluded corner inside the cafeteria, with a meal tray in her hand. Saying her grace, she dug into her meal and wolfed down the beef stew, savoring the bits of garlic bread she had dipped into the gravy. All while being completely oblivious to the stare she was receiving from a stranger sitting at another table, enjoying an afternoon tea. It wasn't until she was already three quarter through her meal with half of a brinjal tempura jutting out of her mouth, only then her vision caught a blonde-haired older lady staring at her, hands clasping against her chest with an endearing expression upon her face. At least, that's what Mikasa was hoping. It was either that or she was just too polite to show her disgust at the young doctor's temporary lack of table manners.

Mikasa sheepishly nodded in embarassment, immediately reaching out for the napkin next to her bowl and dab at the gravy stains near the corner of her mouth. To be honest, she's really not the type to give two fucks to anyone, let alone a stranger's perception but in the hospital, she had to maintain a certain air of formality and courtesy.

At least in front of patients and visitors.

Silently, she was hoping the lady would leave her be to her meal but it didn't seem that would be the case anytime soon as the woman's hazel eyes were still fixated on her face. Mikasa didn't want to be impolite and just told the other woman off, but a tiny voice inside of her just nagged at her conscience to be kind. Maybe she reminded the woman of her own daughter perhaps?

Mikasa then did the only rightful thing to do - smile. That's the first rule of bedside manner. Even when you're having the shittiest of days or even when your own family member is dying, you still need to smile because you'll never know when that day would be that patient's last day alive or when someone out there is having an extremely difficult time.

Mikasa saw the older lady stood up and approached her table. She was slightly panicking, unsure if she might just be in trouble after all. She caught the way the older woman was fishing out something from her handbag as she got closer to her own table.

Oh my Lord, is she going to pull a gun out and shoot her? Were she that ill-mannered?

She blinked rapidly, still trying to determine her best course of action. To fight, flee or negotiate? She's aiming to be a Paediatrician not a Psychologist! Maybe she should just stop smiling, maybe her smile was just offensive?

All while Mikasa was having a dilemma of her own, the older lady handed her a piece of 4R-sized paper, held her hand and said, "You look like my future daughter-in-law." Then she just left without any further words.

Oh my God, that was bizarre. Mikasa only sent the retreating woman's form away with a perplexed look.

When the woman was gone, she eventually found the courage to look down at the piece of glossy paper in her hand. Lo and behold, there was a group of digits - a phone number obviously. But when she turned the paper around, she was stupefied to discover that it was a picture of a man. A really handsome steadfast-looking man in formal military uniform.

REINER BRAUN. VICE COMMANDER. MARLEY LAND FORCES. WARRIOR DIVISION.

She felt a steady stream of blood rushed up her face. 'Was that lady this man's mom? Why did she give me this? Is there something wrong with him?'

That day had been the trippiest day of her life.

Mikasa found herself with a gazillion questions inside her head even after she finished her graveyard shift the next morning.

-oo-O-oo-

At Dr. Zoë's comical behest, Mikasa decided to just humor the old lady by actually dialing the stranger's number the very next day. And maybe to complain to her son about his mother.

There was a ringing tone from the other line.

'Please don't answer. Please tell me I got the wrong number. Please don't pick u-'

"Hello? Braun speaking." A deep, husky voice could be heard coming from her mobile's speaker. 'Oh my goodness, why does he need to have an amazing voice too? No, no. This is backfiring the hell out of your ass, Mikasa.'

She swallowed the air pocket in her throat and nervously replied, "Hello?"

"Hello, may I know who is this?"

"Well actually, I'm a doctor at Shinganshina Hospital. I believed I met your mother yesterday."

"Is she alright? She's supposed to be accompanying my stepsister. Her due date's very close."

"She gave me your number." There was a short pause before Mikasa reluctantly continued, "and also your formal military picture."

"SHE WHAT?" The other man's voice immediately climbed a note higher and instantaneously he apologized. "I am very sorry, I have no idea why she did that. Did she say anything else?"

"You look like my future daughter-in-law?"

"Holy crap. I apologize on her behalf. My mom can be a bit overbearing most of the time. She means well but her executions of matters can be really meddlesome sometimes. Just because I told her I have no time to date doesn't mean she should be setting me up with one."

Mikasa couldn't believe how genuine this stranger sounded through the phone. He was very polite, apologetic and very respectful towards not only his mother but her, a stranger, too. "I think it's very endearing how much your mom really loves you. I mean, if my mom is still around, I wouldn't mind being coddled. Occasionally. With set boundaries."

The man chuckled in response. She couldn't fight off that little voice inside her head that thinks this man has a very soothing laughter.

"Thank you for the recommendations, Doctor--?"

"Ackerman."

"Dr. Ackerman." The man, Reiner, offered, "I am actually flying in to Paradis in 2 days time to visit my stepsister, could I please retrieve my picture from you while I'm there and also to apologize for my mother's behavior in person?"

She dismissed his need to apologize again. "There's no need to apologize, really. I think I can track down your mother if she's still going to be around here in the next few days and return your prized portrait to her directly."

There was another deep chuckle from the other end of the line. "I wouldn't say its prized but I feel objectified by the woman who gave birth to me. I need to wrestle my own agency from my own mother. But she raised me to be respectful to women so, please let me make it up to you with dinner as a new acquaintance. IF, your partner doesn't mind it, that is."

Mikasa's lips curved upwards into a small smile of her own. "I'm sure my shifts don't mind. I can block my calendar."

"No husbands or boyfriends?"

"I see what you're trying to do, sir."

Another deep chuckle from him and another prickling feeling of butterflies in her stomach. "Just checking." There was a short pause before he continued, "Thank you for not thinking that my mom's a creep or scream at me when you call."

"Are you kidding? I'm a rockstar when it comes to children and the elderly. But in all honesty, has this happened before?"

"Technically, this is actually the first time she's trying to set me up with someone not in our neighborhood."

The raven-haired houseman feigned a shocked gasp. "Oh dear, this calls for an intervention."

"I believe so. Should I fixed a consultation with you first this week?"

"This might need more than just one consultation, I'm afraid."

She could hear the smirk even through the receiver. "I see what you're trying to do, Dr. Ackerman and I'm more than happy to fix those appointments immediately."

"I'll block my dates then."

"I think I know now why she approached you."

"Why?"

"I can feel you're a very genuine person. You have a kind heart."

"You are going to change your mind when you finally see me and you are going to regret what you just said."

"We will see."

Their first phone conversation had been the first of many from that day. When she met the older woman again the following day, she didn't have any intention of returning her son's picture.

That picture had been in a frame on her nightstand not too long after.

Reiner's eyes had never stopped shining the minute they met face to face for the first time two days after their initial phone call. Needless to say, Mikasa met her bestfriend for life on that day.

And she did end up being Karina's daughter-in-law a year later.

That day in the cafeteria had been the moment in her lifetime when she would soon meet with her destined soulmate. All through a chance encounter with a meddling but well-intentioned mother.

-oo-O-oo-

The End.

[slutisnotabadword]

(WAKANDA FOREVER SPOILERS)

From the moment the movie started and until the movie ended, it was perfect.

I knew the movie was going to emotional, and from the amazing trailers, my expectations were very high. And somehow Wakanda Forever has exceeded my expectations. Knowing that Shuri was trying to save T’Challa but was too late, broke my heart. And then the marvel intro came on and the ENTIRE theater was silent. This is defintely a movie that you have to watch in theaters before you watch it on DVD, because it’s the experience that carries the weight.

The plot is incredible and—being a person of color—it resonates with me deeply because there is definitely a disconnect between minorites and we often turn on eachother, instead of coming together and protect one another. And I think WF touches on that in a perfect way. Namor offering an alliance and then Wakanda and Talokan becoming enemies, but also in the end they come a sort of agreement. And then showcasing how they are SO similiar, even down to the way they greet eachother. It’s brillant.

The cinematography is breathtaking. When the Talokans attacked the ship, it was amazing. They were terrifying in the best way possible, and to have them sound like sirens???? WHEW, as someone who loves the lore of sirens, I was so excited to see that. And their backstory was just so facisinating, and the BIRTHING SCENE??? UGH. Each slow mo scene in this movie was perfectly balanced, and it didn’t seem like ti went on for too long or was over done, it was just right.

Now let’s get down to real spoilers.

KILMONGER?? WHEWWWWW. When I tell you that I could not have guessed that was going to happen… Immediately his presence was just UGH, I loved that cameo. And it’s also a cameo that makes sense. Considering this happens right after her mother drowned, Shuri has this immense amount of anger and she’s feeling vegeful. And who’s more angry and vegeful than Kilmonger??? Perfect.

THE SOUNDTRACK?? Fucking perfect. Personally, the best song is Alone by Burna Boy, and it’s just *chefs kiss*. And the scores itself was great. And the use of sound was well balanced, letting us simmer in those silent moments.

The jokes were fucking hilarious. Every single joke hit. Had everyone in the theater cracking tf up. I’m still chuckling at “bald headed demon”. PLS.

Riri was amazing, and she exceeding my expectations as well. Her comedic timing was on point. “Young, gifted and black” indeed.

There’s so much I could talk about this movie, but I don’t want this review to be terribly long. So let me hurry up and talk about the ending.

From the moment when Shuri had flashbacks of T’Challa and to when it was revealed that T’challa has A SON?? Tears. Nothing but tears. I sobbed so hard when I got back home. I don’t know how the hell marvel managed to avoid spoilers of Kilmonger AND T’Challa’s son (who is also named T’Challa, i’m literally sobbing), but they did it brillantly. The entire movie was an out of body experience that you could only feel if you go to the theaters. And I will even go far as to say it exceeds the first movie.

10/10.

[fletcher-bit-me]

Rn I'm hyperfixating on Draco malfoy, so here are a bunch of head cannons I have.

After his trial, he runs away to Norway. He stops talking with everyone, and just runs off to Norway, buying a stone cottage in the middle of either the woods or a field In the hills.

He secretly loves the way Neville dresses, and grows his hair out, dressing the same way Neville did in school with his own style added in.

Very gay. Gayest of the gays. You will never meet someone gayer. Also a bottom. He just is.

He realises he only likes he/him some of the time and realises he prefer they/he.

Very good at gardening, so when he gets to Norway, he starts a fruit and vege garden, gets some chickens, and a goat. He becomes very self sufficient.

Stops using magic because it gives him flashbacks.

Extreme depresso espresso. Part of the reason he ran off was to focus on himself after years of worrying about if Voldy Moldy was going to k!ll them.

TW he has an ED.

(TW sexual assault) Another part was because (this was Inspired by the fic wails by the sea on AO3) he couldn't sleep in his own bed after being seggsually a-salted and his room was destroyed, it just didn't feel right.

Converse and doc Martins are his favourite shoes.

They love love love lizards and the sound of the ocean.

Mix between Chaotic academia and dark academia.

Plays Violin (like me. I play violin irl) and piano, as well as guitar. I can just picture them sitting at the window, playing guitar.

Iced coffee™️

Monster energy™️

I had a dream where them and Harry were dating and they were intersex so I'm adding that.

During the war, he would spy on Harry and the rest of the golden trio so he could tell Voldy Moldy that they were going to a different place.

Occlumency™️

Reads alot.

Fuck JK Rowling, I'm making Harry Potter a gay romance novel with mpreg because I want to and I won't justify anything for anyone.

Narcissa is obviously worried about her son, so she hires Harry to go look for him.

Harry finds him after living in Norway for 2 years.

At first, Draco is like 'how did you find me?' then he's okay with the fact someone knows where be is.

Harry was shocked and confused when he found him. he even asked if he was at the right house.

He was.

He was shocked at the new Draco, but came to accept that he changed.

And that he was taller than them.

Draco only wants a select few knowing where he lives, and only some can know what country he is even in.

Harry takes Draco to go see his mother.

The first thing Narcissa does is check Draco for any injuries.

Narcissa is the best mum™️ to Draco, especially after they come out.

She listens to him get excited about his garden and animals.

A few months later, she visits him, only to be chased by the chickens who he named after the hogwarts founders and Minerva McGonagall.

Harry realises he loves Draco after Draco invites him in for tea.

Harry makes the first move, asking them to show him around the nearby muggle town, where Draco already has some new friends.

Dont enter Draco's house unless you want to find them being romantic.

Harry helps them get over the ED.

Ron has a very bad grudge against Draco, even after they apologized. Hermione us open minded, as she had gotten to know Narcissa and realised just what Draco had been through. Molly was more like Hermione, and forgave him.

After 2-3 years, Harry and Draco get married.

A year after, they decide they want a baby.

Draco is intersex, so he can carry a baby.

They have twins. A daughter and a son. They name the daughter Rosalie Lily Narcissa Potter, and the boy Ruben James Lucius Potter.

[ashadowofburnedoutstardust]

Honestly, every time I start reading up on these rituals it turns out I'm already doing it in my daily anyway

How the fuck am I already doing rituals for a goddess that I thought I were of my own creation through instinct and what knowledge I was already in possession of?

Why can't I just have boring meaningless non connected non-synchronous happenings in my life?

How do I manifest normal out of this shit?

Give me boring normalcy in life, no more spirits sneaking up on me, no more annoying daydream vision bullshit

No more being able to spot patterns in things and having to keep watching the patriarchy continually try to destroy humanity

Can I get a regular dude that makes me laugh out of this too? A boring non fussy nine to five that gets me out of the house, a plot of land slightly out of the city, a couple of dogs, a decent vege garden and some fruit trees (lets throw in a fire pit and an outdoor pizza oven while we're dreaming), just boring normal nothing special

Just normal nice quiet evenings spent baking, or doing a word puzzle book, snuggled up on the couch

Is enough to be happy too much to hope for?

I will eventually get onto actually doing this

Much research to be done ✴️

[iamtheempress]

Cold Blooded

A Dragon Ball Horror Fic {Part 11}

☆☆☆

Frieza’s slow. Patient. Methodical. With every step his little smile returns to his face as he sees the lab with which he made his first realization he felt something towards her. Its almost sentimental to him. 

From within the sterile lab the petrified scientist looked for anything. Anything at all to defend herself, then ran to the opposite door. The only one used to escape by the incinerator. So much for that. With the power out and backup generator fried the only thing working is this horrible white light blinking on and off in the lab…

Shes fucked. SHes fucked and she knows it.. No goodbye to Vegeta or anything. Her tomb is her laboratory. A place of creation. “Dammit...DAMMIT!” she shouts and her eyes meet with the vials of liquid that could potentially save her life... 

The corrosive material. The same which she used to pierce his membrane.

“Perfect…” She whispered out, only to be taken from thought fromthe door creaking open. 

“If theres anything that is perfect here, my dear Carlie it is you…” Hes more clear here, hes golden… this is his form he was talking about right. Its nightmarish and sleek.

“I hate to make things so short but i must inform you my dear… this is your last time on earth… from here i have a fleet at my command waiting for OUR arrival. You will never return to this wretched dirtball again for as long as you shall live.” He promises crossing the room with both arms locked prim and proper at the base of his spine he now easily towers over her, whereas before he was exactly her height.

Shes cornered. The position shes put herself in is foolish at best. Caught between Frieza and a concrete wall and a counter top with 50 vials of liquid.

“And if your moronic primate and his little friends find it necessary to hunt you down…” He raises his hand to her cheek and she flinches, his thumb grazes her bottom lip. Solid scarlet red eyes focused on her mouth and then her eyes as he leans closer. “Ill kill them one by one… and ill make sure that you watch. As my empress you will see that your former friends perish appropriately…” Carlie pipes up as Friezas now mere inches from her lips. 

“And i have no say in any of this… your just going to fucking take me..” She chokes out a cry, tears threatening to spill down her flush cheeks. “OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOOOO!! Carlie Carlie CARLIE!!! You never had a choice… you accepted me like a true friend… instead of cowering in fear of me… and you assume I WOULDNT take the opportunity to snatch you up??? Your a prize to be won… and one i wont let go to waste for the likes of that brutish little runt of a monkey…” He comments, absolutely preening with success and excitement. 

Carlie reached behind her and grabbed the rack of vials and brought it over her head into the crown of Friezas head, smashing it and pouring the corrosive material all over the Emperor and onto his flesh. The human woman bared her nails and threw any and all caution to the wind. 

“What in the-you…” Frieza backed up adn looked at his shoulders and didnt notice the human girl lunging at him with nails digging into his neck and dragging down harshly. Cutting clean into his flesh leaving a deep scratch like a wild cat.

“You made the worst decision, Carlie…” Frieza lulled grimacing. The scientist reared back and punched the emperor in the face square in the teeth. A tooth came out… he got some of the acid in his mouth too. Carlies minor victory was short lived. With blinding speed Frieza snatched the humans neck and gripped it. Forcing her to the ground. 

“Out of every smart thing you have done, Carlie. That was certainly the stupidest thing any human has ever done. So yes. A job well done is in order. You have infuriated the Emperor of the Universe to the point where i wlll not take pity upon you..” While choking under the golden tyrants grip she used all the strength she had inher not to pull his hand from her throat but to scratch and mangle his chest and any exposed area. With reckless and careless abandon. Shes mindlessly fighting back to achieve a hollow victory.

A very hollow victory. 

“F-Fuck you! Fuck you and y-your damned offer to be a fucking empress! Im Vege-AAAAH!” SHe screams loudly when the worst pain entered her stomach. A fucking death beam straight into her stomach and out her back. 

“You are a filthy mouthed little whore. You were coppulating with the primate, do you truly think id want my reproductive organs anywhere near your own when that monkey has slavved about inside of you…” Friezas fingers tighten more around her neck, her eyes wide and blood shot. 

“Tut tut now… I wanted to actually see this serum your so proud of in action.. Dont go dying on me n-” She reaches her arms up and scratches hellishly at his neck gasping for air that will never reach her pretty lips. He lifts her head abit and moves her head… Like its some sick fantasy to see someone teetering on the edge of life and death so callously.. 

Her eyes wept as she now kicked and scratched as the grinning tyrant… who bit his lip ensuring shes getting closer to death.. The blood she was laying on was her own but the blood that dripped on her from him was cold..

Friezas just as cold blooded as the life fuel that runs through his veins… “You feel that? That is because of you you wretch.. I offered you my blood for your hoidy toidy experiments. I know you done amazing things with it.. You can SEE me as you take your last breaths..OH THATS RIGHT!! I almost forgot.” He smiles and takes a needle and shoves it into her neck as the vision slipped and she was just about to cusp into the otherworld. 

With that very press of her serum coursing through her veins she understood how potent and strong it truly was… She felt alive. Rejuvenated. Her heart pounding and face dark blue from him squeezing the air from her lungs. “See? It worked! And you got to see it yourself… You should be sooooooo proud…” 

Carlie closed her mouth and looked right up at Frieza with petrified eyes. Shaking and feeling the life slip slowly from her body. “I will remember that when i see Vegeta again… that i was the last thing you ever seen… not that he would give a damn…” He sunk down and pressed his lips firm against the cold girls lips, molding them to hers, for several seconds Frieza felt euphoric… eyes closed and reveling in his first and her final kiss.

Before he could pull away he crushed her throat beneath his grip and felt her go limp beneath him. His lips smack as he pulls away from the body of the woman he wanted to call his empress… Frieza stared at her.. At her corpse.. At her hand and then at the ring.

Then up at the window to the viewing room.. HIs neck and chest was ruined.

Scratched and mangled to high hell. Carlies last stand displayed on his neck. Permanently.

The emperor knelt down and took the ring from her corpse and pushed hair from her face, and exited capsule corp out the back and into the night. Emotions very unclear in Friezas head, he was silent. Brooding. Depressed.

Several minutes pass. Capsule Corp was silent.. A dome with a lone corpse inside waiting to be found.

Bulma had returned with Goku and Vegeta who opened up Capsule Corp from its power shut down. Lights thrown back on and the search was on. Vegeta tore up everything. Bulma said nothing and allowed him to search for her. 

“Do you think Frieza escaped with her??” Goku questioned following Vegeta to the door to Carlies lab. Vegeta remained silent, his heart pounding in his ears. He stopped dead in his tracks upon finding the mangled door to the lower lab. 

“No…” The prince burst down the stairs to the most grizzly scene he had ever bared witness too. Despite destroying entire planets and killing millions in his time while working for Frieza.. 

No death had affected him so horribly then her own.

Bulma started weeping, as Vegeta lifted her in his arms. Kneeling in a pool of her own blood. It felt like an eternity before he spoke..

“Kakarot.. Bulma.. Get the Dragon Balls.”

☆☆☆

@dragonblobz @lilfriezatyrant @gallickingun @kamehamethot @gonuclear @memevember @msgreenverse @lizardhipsdontlie @thotful-writing @supremeleadershitlord​ @memevember​ @dragonball-hcs-or-sum-shit​