#time to reread it and make sure i like it
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âšShadowPeach Bio Parents Bio AU Q&A! 21/11âš
Welcome to the Q&A! A space where I can answer related or similar question about the Shadowpeach Bio Parents AU! If you submitted your ask anonimously, then youâll have to check the whole post if itâs answered here, if itâs not, worry not! Your asks might have been used for a future comic or just in the queue~
Anonimo ha chiesto: Hi! Would Macaque kidnap Wukong again? I read your comic, the last page, where Macaque is the kidnapping expert. And I'm very curious about it. Anyway, I love your comics! You are awesome.
Haha I don't think they really need it unless they want to do a "traditional wedding courtnapping" but it would be pretty odd since they kind of already live togehter.
Anonimo ha chiesto: I know this is definitely a LONG ways away, but, imagine: Wukong and Macaque playing the newlyweds game. What questions? What answers? Whoâs asking the questions? Whoâs getting the most right?
I wont list all the lesson but I think Macaque would get most of them right just because Wukong never really changed a lot during the years, while Macaque went through different stages of his life, and and he has new hobbies and tastes.
Anonimo ha chiesto: Will mk have a nightmare about LBD? If yes Then we will have some angst with fluffy monkeys family moments!!!
Oh he has. He has many. Most of them he has while he is at pigsy's.
Anonimo ha chiesto: Can you please shows up a flashback backstory on how MK/Wukong discovered/found out/came out as trans?? đđđ Banana sundae with chocolate sauce, rainbow sprinkles, THREE cherries, and a super-deluxe one-and-only Monkie Kingâąïž collectible spoon???
Anonimo ha chiesto: will we see any past Shadowpeach?? Iâm interested to see how you frame their dynamic back 5en.
Hahah maybe in the future, I'll see
Anonimo ha chiesto: Can we get Wukong telling dad jokes? Please, Iâm begging i want to see MK laughing and Macaque just being so disappointed with Wukong yet so smitten. I want to see more Monkey family domestic blissss. đđđđ
I don't have my dad jokes book here but man give Macaque an award for the patience he has with these two children
@goofybearclown ha chiesto: Hi :3 Just wanted to say I love your shadowpeach and cotl AU!!! I didn't notice you made both at first but when I did I was like "waow :0". Tbh your works are in my top 3 series on Tumblr! @fenikzia ha chiesto: I love your LMK comic so much, I look forward to reading the new additions to it when they come out every other day,and reading your comic just makes my day better. Even if it hasn't updated a particular day, I make sure to go back and reread the newest part.Keep doing what you're doing and make sure to take breaks! @skye-minecraftyt-blog ha chiesto: You! I like you! Your Bio parents Lmk au always makes me extremely happy and I regularly reread it. ((o(^â^)o)) Just wanted to say it @blazeandsilver ha chiesto: Hello, I just wanted to say your artwork is absolutely stunning, it makes my day whenever I see that you posted something new to the BioParents comic. Please keep up the good work and be sure to take some time for yourself, youâre important too.
AWWWWWW THANK YOU FOR ALL THE LOVE!!
Anonimo ha chiesto: Hihi shadowpeach au question: You mentioned in the latest comic that Mac is more lean and skinny than Wukong. Will we ever see the full extent of that?? ALSO I ADORE YOUR ART OMG â€ïžâ€ïž
A fully naked Macaque you say? Maybe.... who knows....
Anonimo ha chiesto: I come to defend Wukong acting like a man looking at a victorian lady ankles, he hasnât seen his (ex) husbandâs fur in centuries. And he probably hasnât socialize in years either besides MK and the gang. Romantically he is stunned right? I doubt he has even looked at anyone besides Macaque anywaysâŠ
Honestly I like to think that Macaque was the only being in all the universe that was eer able to make him flustered
@mochalikesdrawing ha chiesto: So I got a question, will we ever get to see kaiju MK again?
I have a scene post AU I would like to draw. Maybe.
Anonimo ha chiesto: Ignoring all the angst because it is crushing my soul /pos, I'm lowkey convinced that Macaque knows Wukong feels some kind of way about him because he can hear his heartbeat go crazy at certain moments and isn't dumb, but just isn't calling Wukong on it because he's still trying to sort his own feelings first. BUT ONCE HE DOES OH BOY-
Hahah Macaque knows perfectly well Wukong is down for him. In the meantime Wukong is alwasy afraid he's just imagining things bc he's dense af.
Anonimo ha chiesto: Do you think Wukong and macaque would be cuddling and macaque would be watching something scary and Wukong would be trying to not pay attention to it because he hates scary stuff or would it be the other way around?
yess
@ep2nd ha chiesto: In your shadowpeach bio parents au, if MK and Wukong were created by Nuwa, with Nuwa using Macaque and Wukong as a base, has anyone wondered who created Macaque? And does Macaque himself knows?
Wait Nuwa created Wukong? If that's so I think then all the 5 monkeys were made by her, for some reason.
@boonalina ha chiesto: Sooo what exactly is the courtnapping process like? Is it just a simple "I'm gonna pick you up and carry you away" or is it an entire ceremony? Does someone have to lure the person into place? For example, Mei bringing Redson over to a secluded spot so that Mk can "courtnap" him? (Side note: I've been in this fandom for around two years now, and this comic is what made me find out about courtnapping lol)
I "think" anything that can be counted as like a sneak attack that takes them out of guard and brings them to the designated courtnapped room can be considered as courtnapping technically.
Anonimo ha chiesto: ... Hey so your shadow peach bio parent AU is better way better than season five. WOAH, WHO SAID THAT!! (no but seriously it is like a sitcom I tune on ever so often. Much love đ«¶)
Haha thank you! That's a HUGE statement!
Anonimo ha chiesto: I wonder if MK has any unique attributes/abilities as a living mass of celestial material?
He's such a cocktail ofdifferent energies I wouldn't be surprised he is able to glow in the dark.
@cjtuy ha chiesto: I do have a question it's mainly about pigsy and tang when and how long have they been together as a couple and did both of them find mk are they married ?
They have been together for almost a year, but I don't think they are married, but maybe that could happen in the future??? But yeah MK found out a little after season 5 that they are together, that was also the same time he started calling Tang "Papa"
Anonimo ha chiesto: Has macaque added any personal items to the house? Like is he moved in? Have Wukong and macaque improved or changed anything else besides making the bed bigger?
Yes he did! Half of his belongins are in FFM, althought he's a little more minimalistic than Wukong. He also have been bothering Wukong to death so that he can finally organize his stuff (and they were roomates
Anonimo ha chiesto: I feel like if they were to play Minecraft or something macaque would be the base mom. He would be the only one to remember to farm food to not starve. The others would probably forget all the time that hunger is a thing in game. Wukong or Mk: oh dang does anyone have food I'm starving Macaque: (always brings extra for this reason) "sighs" yes
AH!
Anonimo ha chiesto: Remember the Minor Scale episode, from season 2? Where MK learn how to shrink himself? And thereâs also the final episode of that season where MK just grow very big to try to fight LBD. I just love that part of his power and I have seen very little people showing it. Like, sometimes that power can show up when the poor boy is experiencing overwhelming emotions that canât be contained anymore, or pure exhaustion. For example, Having many responsibility can lead to a lot of stress and exhaustion and at some point MK just canât do more and just become tiny, not able to do more. On the opposite, maybe he experience trauma again through a nightmare (like about azure for example) and the emotional burden is to much and he just becomes big because of that. You see my vision? I love sizeshifting base on emotions :)
Aww and i love emotion-based powers, they are just so easy to play around.
Anonimo ha chiesto: Tbh the show should let macaque have a motorcycle. Wukong gets to be passenger princess
Yesss
Anonimo ha chiesto: as we get into the colder months i like to imagine MKâs first winter coat and heâs all super fluffy and warm
Cool for the monkey parents, bad for pigsy and all the hair in the restaurant from sheeding.
Anonimo ha chiesto: I think it would be so funny if MKs rock hadn't been cracked and he'd been raised on FFM by wukong. If the same thing happens in the show macaque planning to take mks powers thinking he's just Wukongs student but then while macaque and MK are training. Since macaque is so close he notices his ears. (Being raised by a monkey he gets his form sooner) suddenly putting everything on hold busting into FFM and is like WUKONG WTF
There's a fic on AO3 about it it's A Son of Two Dads
@cheese-hommo ha chiesto: Hii, fiesta I want to say I love how you draw and everything, it just looks so cool and beautiful. Now, with the last chapter of Monkey parents Au and so, with the acknowledgement of the demon etiquette and else, DBK and Wukong really misunderstand the comfort scene for a confession? Or something more? It was just so funny seeing the two of them getting so embarrassed at the end đââïž
Ah, 2 young demons in their true forms so close to each other, blushing? Scandalous.
Anonimo ha chiesto: I've seen Mk is his Lego merch- he gots a tooth gap- so does this MK have one or did he get it filled?
Wait that was a tooth gap??? I though it was like, a detail of the smile
Anonimo ha chiesto: đ€ what is your official (if any) opinion on Ink MK? (as a character, plot device, literary parallel, what have you)
It's ok. I personally believe "shadow" version of one character with their own fears and doubts is a clique a little bit too much used. But they give a lot of angst.
Anonimo ha chiesto: Thoughts on Macaque knowing either Japanese or Korean due to him liking anime.
I'll give you one better. Macaque always traveled to Japan pretty frequently during the centuries. Then became a weeb
Anonimo ha chiesto: Maybe it's just me but Wukong looks a bit thicker each time, is it because his fur's thickening or is he getting chubbier ??????? Anyway luv ur art
Both.
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sure thing â part two.
pairing: yang jungwon x f reader
genre: coworkers au, underground boxer jungwon
part two word count: 10.8k
warnings:Â swearing, descriptions/depictions of physical violence, blood and minor injuries, jealousy, a bit of a love triangle I'M SORRY, a kiss or five
note: aaaand here's part two! thank you to everyone that left a comment/reblog on part one. this is the conclusion to the story. suffer with me while we daydream about blonde boxer jungwon and enjoyyyyy âĄ
â.Ë⥠àŁȘ Ëâ.Ë⥠àŁȘ Ëâ.Ë⥠àŁȘ Ë
An employee in the marketing department of a large company, your days are filled with poorly worded emails, unrealistic deadlines, and passive aggressive friendly reminders from your superiors. On a particularly awful afternoon, a chance encounter with a coworker from the programming department down the hall is the first thing to make you smile in weeks.
But the more you uncover about Yang Jungwon and his mysterious injuries, flimsy excuses, and always occupied Friday nights, the more you begin to realize that you really donât know him at all.
â.Ë⥠àŁȘ Ëâ.Ë⥠àŁȘ Ëâ.Ë⥠àŁȘ Ë
PART TWO
â.Ë⥠àŁȘ Ëâ.Ë⥠àŁȘ Ëâ.Ë⥠àŁȘ Ë
Itâs been a while since you felt anything but dread opening your work inbox.Â
Monday morning, however, the first message that greets you is a reminder of a time when you did. When you used to keep your email tab open just in the hopes that a certain programmer would send you messages about a jammed printer for you to reread a dozen times.Â
This time, though, excitement is the last thing you feel. Itâs curiosity, more than anything, combined with an urgent need to know what the hell happened between your date and your coworker, that has you clicking on the message.Â
From: [email protected]Â
Subject: Printer Issue
Good morning, ___.Â
I hope this message finds you well. I am currently trying to resolve an ongoing issue with the workroom printer and was hoping you would be able to provide some input at your earliest convenience.Â
Thank you in advance,Â
Jungwon
Part of you wants to archive the message without responding and let him simmer in your rejection.Â
But spite has never held much weight against curiosity, and despite your better judgment, you soon find yourself walking towards the shared workroom.Â
As expected, itâs already occupied. This time, however, Jungwon is leaning against the wall, arms crossed over his chest. The printer, just as you suspected, is in perfect working order.Â
Thereâs a fresh bruise on his forehead, and this time, you donât wonder where itâs from. It makes sense now. The bruises on his knuckles. The cut on his cheekbone. His seemingly intimate knowledge of head injuries that one fateful Monday afternoon he found you in this very room.Â
Theyâre all the result of his hidden hobby, you suppose.Â
As soon as you enter, some of the rigidity seeps out of his stance. Immediately, his arms fall to his sides, expression softening. â___,â he whispers, like he canât quite believe you actually came.Â
Where he softens, however, you cage up.Â
âYou have one minute,â you tell him.Â
âOne minute?â He echoes, brow creasing in confusion.Â
âOne minute to explain what happened Saturday night.â
Jungwon sighs. âIâm sorry. Really, I⊠I shouldnât have reacted like that.â
You donât say anything. An apology is appreciated, yes, but itâs not an explanation.Â
With your silence, Jungwon continues, âI was just⊠caught off guard. I didnât expect to see you there, and especially not with him.â
He pauses for a moment, biting at his lower lip. âLook, ___. I know it probably isnât my place, but I donât think heâs being honest with you. Jay isnât the person that you think he is, andââ
Your scoff cuts through his words, stopping him in his tracks. âThatâs funny,â you interrupt. But humor is the last thing on your mind. âHe said the exact same thing about you, you know. But it has to be bullshit. I mean, what could have possibly happened in middle school that two adults with jobs are still hung up on a decade later?â
Jungwonâs lips part in surprise. âHe told you about middle school?â
âWhy?â you prod. âIs there something to know?â
But now youâre at a stalemate, neither of you willing to disclose what exactly you know.Â
After another beat, Jungwon sighs. âLook, Iâm not trying to tell you what to doââ
âCould have fooled me.â
âBut I just want you to be careful, okay? Itâs⊠itâs important to me that youâre safe.â
âSafe?â You scoff. âIt was a boxing gym. I donât know why youâre acting like I was trying to push my way into the ring with you.â
âYou donât get itââ
âNo.â You throw your hands in exasperation. âI donât get it. But youâre not explaining it to me. Youâre just being evasive and acting like Iâm the one in the wrong. So unless you actually have something of substance to say, Iâm done having this conversation.â
â____âŠâÂ
Already halfway to the exit, the sound of your name is lost on you. Itâs bad enough that Jay has yet to reach out to you since last night. You absolutely do not need Jungwon bringing this issue into the office as well.Â
As if on cue, your phone dings with an incoming message.Â
Half expecting to see a virtual string of apologies from your coworker, youâre mildly surprised to see a different name instead.Â
You were right about the apologies, though.Â
Jay: Iâm sorry about last night. You were right about deserving an explanation and I want to give you one. I think this is a conversation we should have in person. Are you free Friday night for dinner?
Friday night. Two nights from now. Itâs soon enough that you wonât have to stew in resentment, but will give you both the time and space you need to think.Â
It doesnât take you long to consider, but you do wait another long minute before giving him the satisfaction of responding.Â
You: Iâll plan on Friday.
âŠ..
Friday morning comes with a vengeance.Â
Already teeming with nervous energy at the prospect of your upcoming date with Jay and the conversation that is sure to ensue, youâre a bit of a mess by the time you arrive at work.Â
Hair windswept, outfit mismatched, lipstick slightly smudged, you already know youâre in for a long day at the office.Â
But when you arrive at your desk, you find something that softens the blow, just a bit.Â
Grace, ever the instigator, is already learning over your cubicle by the time you notice it.Â
âWhew,â she whistles appreciatively. âSomeoneâs pulling out all the stops.â
And sheâs kind of right. The bouquet sitting front and center on your desk is massive. Overflowing with seasonal flowers that already emit a pleasant fragrance even from where you stand. The vase itself itâs gorgeous, too.Â
Imbued with a myriad of colors, it reminds you a bit of a stained glass window on a sunny afternoon.Â
Reaching for the small note tucked at the top, you open the envelope with slightly shaky fingers.Â
 ___, it reads.Â
I wish I had more to give you than an apology, but Iâve been told that flowers are a sure thing when it comes to brightening someoneâs day. I hope these are able to do that for you.Â
â J
Frowning, you read it once. Twice.Â
Jay has already apologized for the incident from a couple of nights ago, and the timing of this second apology seems odd, given your plans for tonight.Â
Youâre left to stand in your own confusion for a moment longer before a text message vibrates your phone in your pocket.Â
Reaching for it, the flowers suddenly start to make a lot more sense.Â
Jay: I am so sorry, but I have to reschedule our plans for tonight. It completely slipped my mind, but my sisterâs baby shower is tomorrow morning, and Iâve been voluntold to help set it up. I promise to let you know as soon as I can when Iâll be available
Jay: And again, I am so, so sorry
Sighing, you put your phone back in your bag. You canât blame him. Not really. His sisterâs baby shower is undoubtedly an important event, even if the timing is rather unfortunate for you.Â
Grace, blissfully unaware of your inner turmoil, is still gushing about your flowers. Turning to you, she wiggles her eyebrows suggestively. âSo, what are those for? Got a hot date this weekend?â
You sigh, recently canceled plans still dampening your mood. Deciding thereâs no harm in telling Grace your woes, you say, âI wish. Jay just had to cancel on me for tonight.â
âNo.â Grace gasps. If you didnât know any better, youâd think she was personally affronted. âHe better have had a good excuse.â
âHe did,â you admit. Unlike someone you know. âFamily stuff.â
âAh,â Grace nods. âI suppose thatâs acceptable. Have you rescheduled?â
Frowning at the message you have yet to answer, you shake your head. âNot yet.â
âMm,â she hums, sensing your disappointment. âIâm sure something just came up at work, and heâll get back to you soon.âÂ
âYeah,â you nod hollowly. âIâm sure he will.â
You: I understand. Is there any chance we could meet Saturday evening or afternoon? Itâs important to me that we talk about it soon.
Itâs not as if you expect an immediate response. Like you, Jay is probably at work for the day. Busy and drowning in deadlines and assignments. Maybe even stuck in a meeting.Â
But thirty minutes pass. And then an hour. Two.Â
And your message is still completely unanswered.Â
The more time that passes, the harder it becomes to shake the funny feeling that starts to build in your gut. It builds and builds and builds, all the way until closing time.Â
And Jay still hasnât texted you back.Â
Thatâs annoying enough all on its own, but thereâs something else that just isnât adding up.Â
You canât quite put your finger on it, the thing thatâs bothering you so much. But even as you make your way towards after clocking out for the day, something still doesnât sit right with you. Opening your message thread again, you reread Jayâs last text.Â
Jay: ⊠my sisterâs baby shower is tomorrow morning, and Iâve been voluntold to help set it up.Â
Sisterâs baby shower.Â
Thatâs whatâs been bothering you. Because unless Jayâs sister is just finishing the shortest known pregnancy in human history, heâs lying to you.Â
You remember it now. The first time Grace mentioned Jay to you. She had just seen him for the first time since he moved back home.Â
At his older sisterâs baby shower.Â
Sitting in your car, you scoff out loud in disbelief. The ice he treads on has been dangerously thin since your run in with Jungwon at the boxing gym, and he had the audacity to lie?Â
Part of you wants to catch him in it. For your own confirmation and for the satisfaction of not letting him get away with trying to pull a fast one on you. But you need an excuse. Some reason to seek him out and find him where he isnât supposed to be.Â
Racking your brain, you try to think of a plausible explanation for turning up at his house tonight.Â
Still sitting in the parking lot, a car turns past you, headlights shining in through your windshield in a way that makes you squint.Â
In a way that reflects off of the tiny piece of metal jammed in the crevice next to your cupholder. Frowning, you reach down, tugging at it until itâs freed from its confines.Â
Youâre not sure what divine forces are working in your favor, but you make a mental note to properly thank them later. Because clutched between your fingers is Jayâs missing ring. The one that heâs been looking for since he messaged you about it last week.Â
Itâs perfect, you think. An absolutely perfect excuse to drop by his house, even if you should be under the impression that heâs not there at the moment.Â
Turning the piece of jewelry between your fingers, your eyes catch on an inscription on the inner band. Squinting, you can just make it out.Â
2013.11.13 King Pen
Youâre pretty sure the numbers are a date. November 13, 2013, to be exact. But King Pen. You have no idea what that is.Â
It sounds like it could be related to boxing, maybe. Pulling out your phone, you do a quick online search.Â
The results that flood your screen are mostly generic, nothing that gives you any real leads. You try a few different search combinations, including the date and finally, the name of your city.Â
That does send an old article to the top of your search results. Something published in a local newspaper in 2007.Â
Clicking on the link, you scan the article for anything relevant.Â
Samuel Kang, one line towards the beginning reads, shared his plans to open a boxing gym right here in the city. Although there are other similar gyms in nearby towns, this would be the first gymnasium dedicated solely to boxing in the area.Â
You skip down a few more lines.Â
When asked if he knows what heâd like to call his project, Kang just smiles and nods his head. âKing Pen,â he tells us. âI plan to call it King Pen.â
You frown. Your earlier search is proof enough that King Pen never came to fruition. As a final attempt at getting some answers, you type Samuel Kang into the search bar instead.Â
This time, the first article that pops up does carry an air of familiarity. Clicking on it, you confirm your suspicion.Â
Samuel Kang, as it turns out, never opened a boxing gym called King Pen. But he did open one called Kangâs Gym.Â
Looking through the photo gallery, the weightlifting equipment appears to have been in much better shape in 2008 than it was a couple of weeks ago. But even though the paint was still bright and the training pads were fully intact, it is undoubtedly the same exact gym.Â
Thereâs no reason for you to go there now. If anything, you should just drive straight to Jayâs house. But something still doesn't sit right with you.Â
Why does Jayâs ring say King Pen instead of Kangâs Gym? Especially since itâs dated five whole years after the gym opened under its actual name.Â
Besides, the gym is on your way to Jayâs apartment. If anything, itâs just a quick pit stop. A confirmation that youâre not going crazy.Â
Putting your car in drive, you set the ring on your passenger seat and drive out of the parking lot.Â
Itâs already dark by the time youâre pulling into Kangâs Gym. Switching your car off, you remove your key from the ignition.Â
Your automatic headlights still illuminate the strangely full parking lot in front of you. Frowning, you wonder why so many people are here. Even the night that you came with Jay, the parking lot wasnât nearly this full, and yet, most of the boxing rings inside were occupied.Â
Stepping out of your car, you close the door behind you softly. Youâre not sure why youâre overcome with the urge to tiptoe. Itâs not like you need to sneak around. Youâre not doing anything wrong, after all.Â
But the whole thing feels strange, has you on edge. You make it only a few steps before your eyes land on a familiar car.Â
âSisterâs baby shower, my ass,â you whisper out loud to no one. Unless she decided to celebrate her new child at a run down boxing gym, Jay is absolutely lying to you. Because thatâs his sleek black car, right in front of you. Youâd recognize it anywhere.Â
And a few rows down, you confirm your other suspicion. Youâve never seen him drive it, but you have seen that particular navy blue SUV in the office parking garage before. Jungwon. Youâre sure itâs him.Â
For a moment, you hesitate. It might be easier, cleaner, to just take a picture of Jayâs car and send it to him. After all, that would get your point across clearly enough. Especially if you block him afterwards.Â
But heâs been evasive about everything related to this place since he first brought you here. And heâs not the only one.Â
Eyes falling to Jungwonâs car, you decide that catching Jay in a lie isnât the only thing you want to do tonight.Â
You want answers.Â
So the picture you take of Jayâs car remains unsent for now. Instead, you hike your bag a little further up your shoulder and continue walking in the direction of the gym.Â
Nearing the door, you brace yourself to be met with the large crowd that surely waits inside. Judging from the parking lot, this place must be near full capacity. But as you push through the unlocked door, the gym is completely and entirely empty.Â
Eerily so.Â
All around you, workout equipment and boxing rings sit untouched, devoid of life. There isnât so much as a sound to disturb the uncanny silence.Â
Frowning, your brow creases in deep confusion. Nothing about this makes any sense.Â
But you didnât come all the way here to add to your pile of questions. Instead, you push forward, past the rows of boxing rings towards the locker room where Jay left his bag a handful of nights ago.Â
It feels wrong to open the menâs locker room. But if no one is here, then surely it couldnât hurt. Warily, you start to crack open the door, inch by inch.Â
The locker room, to your unending puzzlement, is just as empty as the rest of the gym.Â
Youâre about to turn back to search the rest of the gym when you notice it. Just across from you, behind the first set of empty lockers. Thereâs another door.Â
Itâs probably nothing, you tell yourself, even as your feet carry you closer and closer. It probably just leads to a storage closet or a boiler room orâ
Pushing the door open, the first thing youâre met with is sound.Â
Voices. Loud voices. Lots and lots of them. In your surprise, you drop the door, and it clicks shut again.Â
Immediately, the sound stops. Plunged in silence again, itâs all you can do to not gasp.Â
Soundproof, you realize. Itâs soundproof. And not just the locker room. The entire gym was dead silent until you opened this door.
This time, when you push it open, you expect the cacophonous cheers that greet you. Youâre still too far away to make out what anyone is saying. Right now, it all blends into a wall of sound.Â
Vision is of little help, too. The only thing you see when you open the door is a staircase. In the low light, all you can tell is that it leads down.Â
Hoping that youâre not currently making the stupidest decision of your life, you place one tentative foot on the first step. Follow it with your other foot. And then you let the door close behind you, plunging you into complete darkness.Â
Immediately, a surge of panic claws at your throat. The lack of light, combined with the sheer volume of cheers and shouts, is enough to have you crawling in your skin.Â
Reaching blindly for the door handle behind you, you decide that sending Jay a picture of his car will have to be satisfying enough. But no matter how hard you try to twist the doorknob, it wonât budge.Â
No. No.Â
Youâre trapped. Effectively locked in.Â
As the reality of the situation sinks in, you feel the pit of your stomach begin to drop.Â
Part of you wants to just stay in place, wait for whateverâs going on to end and hope that a stroke of luck will set you free. But then another thought occurs to you.Â
What if this is the only entrance?
You donât know how many people are down there, but if the sound and parking lot are anything to go by, itâs a lot.Â
Youâre sure that Jay and Jungwon are among them, but stillâŠ
Both of their warnings start to come back to you.
âHeâs not who you think he isâŠâ
âI just want you to be carefulâŠâ
âItâs important to me that youâre safeâŠâ
Is this what they were talking about? Is this why Jungwon was so angry with Jay for bringing you here? Not because he didnât want you to see a boxing gym, but because thatâs not what this place is at all?
The more you mull it over, the more it starts to make sense.Â
Still submerged in darkness, you decide that the only way youâll confirm anything is by moving forward. Slowly, you reach for your phone, turning the flashlight on its lowest setting.Â
Keeping it clutched in your hands in case you need to shut it off at a momentâs notice, you begin to walk, descending down the staircase.Â
After two flights on uneven steps, you start to see a light in the distance, a clue that youâre getting closer. And with every step you take, the voices only get louder and louder.Â
On the third landing, youâre given two choices: continue down the stairs or move into a hallway that stretches to your left. Deciding that staying as far away from the crowd as you can is likely your best option, you opt for the hallway.Â
Youâve barely walked a few feet when you nearly stumble into a wall. Itâs not the end though â just a corner. The light from your phone confirms that the hallway takes a sharp turn.Â
Following it, you come to another door. This time, youâre even more hesitant. There could be people on the other side.Â
Pressing your ear against it, the only thing you hear is the same scrambled shouting, the same boisterous crowd. Itâs hard to tell for certain, but you donât hear anything that makes you think thereâs someone waiting on the other side.Â
Slowly, carefully, you begin to open the door.Â
The sudden light is nearly blinding. It takes your eyes a moment to adjust, but once they do, your mouth drops open.Â
You were right, thankfully. The small room you enter is mercifully empty.Â
But itâs also lined with windows that give you a direct view into the room one level beneath you. Jaw dropping, you take in the scene below.Â
There must be at least five hundred people crammed into the stands that encircle the room. All of them are on their feet, shouting jeers and cheering with equal fervor.Â
And in the center of it all is a boxing ring. On the side that faces you, bold letters give it a name:
King Pen.
Itâs empty for now, but youâre only left wondering for another handful of seconds before a middle aged man steps into the center, microphone in hand. With an open palm, he gestures towards the crowd, commanding them to listen.Â
Whoever he is, he holds weight here. With the flick of his hand, literally, the room all but falls silent.Â
âLadies and gentlemen,â he says into the microphone. âNext up is the fight weâve all been waiting for.â
He pauses for a moment as more cheers and shouts fill the room.Â
âI hope your bets are placed, because these two always manage to surprise us. Please welcome our first challenger to the ring. Back to the city for the first time in years, itâs Jaan!â
But itâs not Jaan. Or at least, itâs not someone you know as Jaan.Â
No, itâs Jay. The same Jay that took you to an art exhibition and convinced you to try sweet coffee instead of your usual bitter black. The same Jay that flirts with you over text and whispers sweet nothings in your ear after a long day of work.Â
The same Jay that lied to you about why he had to cancel your date tonight.Â
The crowd has barely died down when the man presses on, âAnd your second challenger, the reigning champion⊠Please give your warmest welcome for Jakah!âÂ
The alias booms around you, echoing through the room. And of course itâs him. Of course Jakah, the reigning champion, is someone you used to think would have trouble hurting a fly.Â
Someone you thought embodied gentleness, patience, with every ounce of his being.Â
But no matter how badly you want to deny it, no matter how much the cognitive dissonance wars inside your brain, itâs him.Â
Itâs Jungwon who enters from the other side of the ring.Â
âNow, remember,â the man addresses the audience again. âCheer for your favorite. Scream at his opponent. And donât forget our golden rule: in the Kingâs Pen,â he begins.Â
âAnything goes,â the audience shouts back in unison.Â
Anything? Your heart falls from your throat to the pit of your stomach. As if it wasnât bad enough that Jay is here, that he lied to you, that heâs fighting Jungwon.Â
Taking a closer look at the ring beneath you, you notice the odd, rust colored stains that nearly cover it.Â
Blood, you realize after a sickening moment. The ring is covered in blood stains.Â
It makes sense, suddenly, why King Pen didnât appear in any search results. Why this entire place is completely soundproofed. Why Jungwon wanted you to stay far, far away.Â
This isnât a sparring match. Itâs a duel.Â
One where, like the audience just affirmed, anything goes.Â
As the man steps out from the center of the ring, Jay and Jungwon start to circle each other, fists raised in anticipation.Â
Even from a distance, you can see the tight coil of muscle in their shoulders, the way their bodies prepare for the inevitable fight.Â
âSay it with me now, folks,â the man booms, now standing on the side of the ring.Â
âThree.â Jayâs eyes narrow, fists rising an inch higher.
âTwo.â Jungwon flicks a stray strand of hair out of his eyes.Â
âOne.â You feel your last bit of breath whoosh out from your lungs.Â
âFight.â
Itâs like a dance, you think. A sickening, deadly dance that you canât look away from no matter how much you want to.Â
Despite your lack of knowledge, it quickly becomes apparent to you why this is the main event of the evening.Â
Where Jay is sheer, brutal strength, Jungwon is all evasion. He moves with the agility of an athlete, the lightness of a dancer.Â
He makes it look easy, the way he ducks beneath carefully timed swings and always seems to predict what Jay will do next.Â
But even dancers stumble sometimes.Â
You canât help it, the gasp that slips out when one of Jayâs punches lands true. You watch, horrified, as Jungwon staggers backwards, adding to the crimson stains on the floor of the ring.Â
Slightly dazed, he brings the back of his palm to the broken skin along his cheekbone, assessing the damage. When he brings it in front of his face, it comes back red.Â
Jay takes no pity on his opponent. Following his retreat, he aims for another bruising blow. This one hits Jungwon just beneath the ribs. Echoes around the makeshift stadium with a dull thud you hear even from your hiding place.Â
Again, Jungwonâs sure steps falter.Â
The rise and fall of his chest is rapid as he struggles to catch his breath. But when he looks up again, thereâs a fire in his eyes. Pure, unadulterated hatred that permeates the scant distance between him and his rival and sends a shiver down the length of your spine.Â
Not one to take things lying down, Jungwon takes advantage of Jayâs momentary lapse in focus.Â
His fist connects with the bridge of Jayâs nose with a sickening crunch. Head falling backward, the immediate flow of blood is gruesome. It drip down his chin, landing on the floor beneath him in an arrhythmic pattern.Â
Thereâs little grace to it now. Gone are the remaining fragments of inhibition as both boys put away their judgment and leave the rest to instinct.Â
Itâs messy, sloppy, angry.Â
Theyâre so close; itâs hard to tell which blows come from who. Hard to tell whose wounds are multiplying faster, whose blood is falling more freely.Â
And then, just when you think you canât stomach watching any longer, itâs done.Â
Itâs so fast. You canât quite be sure how it happens. But one second, both boys are standing, and the next, Jay is flat on his back, Jungwon hovering above him.Â
Still, the crowd is silent. Everyoneâs eyes are on the ring.Â
Jay is down. Trapped beneath his opponent, itâs clear to you who the victory is. But then you remember the words the crowd chanted at the beginning of the fight.Â
Anything goes.Â
Your stomach twists with nausea.Â
Even from here, you can see the tension that still strains the muscles along Jungwonâs back. The rigidity of his shoulders.Â
For a moment, you think heâs going to do it. To strike again, even though victory is already in his hands.Â
You see his lips move with words you canât hear. Beneath him, Jay remains stoic. Thereâs still fight in his eyes, even if itâs been drained from his body.Â
Jungwonâs mouth moves again.Â
This time, Jay nods. Itâs a tiny movement, barely perceptible. But itâs enough.Â
With an agitated flair, Jungwon stands again.Â
Blood is still dripping from his face, his knuckles. Sweat covers his body, drenches his hair.Â
Heâs won, yes, but the expression on his features is not one of satisfaction.Â
ARound him, the audience begins to boo, throwing jeers and insults like extra change. They were hoping for more than a fight. They were hoping for cruelty Jungwon isnât willing to give.Â
Without a second glance back, he turns and leaves the ring.Â
Still reeling, you nearly jump out of your skin when the handle on the door to your room begins to turn.Â
If you had a stronger grip on your sense of logic, you would do something. Try to hide. Scramble to think of an excuse for your presence.Â
The door opens before you do any of it.Â
âOh,â Heeseung says, eyes widening as he finds the room already occupied. And then it registers with him who exactly is already occupying said room. âOh,â he repeats. âHe is not going to be happy about this.â
âŠ..
Heeseungâs fist rings out against the door in three sharp raps. For a moment, silence is the only response. And thenâ
âIâm not in the mood.â
âUh,â Heeseung glances at you sideways. âI think you should open the door anyway.âÂ
âIâm serious.â Jungwonâs voice is pure ire. âIâm not doing this with you right now, Heeseung.â
âOkay,â Heeseung concedes. âBut I really still think you should open theââ
âWhat?â
Jungwonâs glare lands on his friend before his gaze slides to you. Immediately, his features slacken in surprise. âOh.â
And itâs stupid, foolish, naive. But the first thing you feel when you see him standing on his own two feet is pure, unadulterated relief.Â
Heâs injured. Itâs obvious from the wounds that line his face and the way his breath is still shallow in his chest. But heâs okay.Â
Heâs here and heâs in front of you and heâs okay.Â
âYeah,â Heeseung repeats. âLike I said, I think you shouldââ
âGo away.â
âWhat?â Heeseung balks. âWhere am I supposed toââ
âAway,â Jungwon reiterates, eyes still locked on you.Â
Heeseung is sulking, but he follows Jungwonâs command regardless. And then itâs just the two of you.Â
You both speak at the same time, near identical questions overlapping with one another.Â
âWhat the hell are you doing?â
âWhy are you here?â
A beat of silence passes. Another.Â
As if he is suddenly remembering your surroundings, Jungwon looks around you, a new urgency in his gaze. You donât know what kind of consequences places like this carry, but common sense tells you itâs best that youâre not seen. âCome in,â he opens the door a bit wider, giving you space to enter.Â
You shouldnât. He hasnât lied to you, not exactly, but itâs not like heâs been particularly honest either.Â
And coworkers donât owe you the truth or the nitty gritty details of their lives, but itâs been a long time since Jungwon and you treated one another like coworkers. No matter what you want to call it, the relationship that youâve built between conversations in the workroom and email threads and kind gestures in the office feels a lot more like friendship. Or at the very least some iteration of it.Â
So youâre not mad at him for keeping this from you, not really.Â
But other emotions are swirling in your gut, and you donât know what to do with them. Most of all, youâre worried. For his safety. For his wellbeing. For him.Â
Obeying his command, you step inside the small room. You hear the door click shut behind you.Â
Looking around, there isnât much to see. Itâs a locker room, essentially, designed for one person. Thereâs a counter to your left with a small first aid kit and a chair in the far corner of the room.Â
A gym bag, Jungwonâs you assume, rests next to it.Â
And, of course, thereâs the two of you.Â
Glancing up, you take a look at him. A long, real look.Â
Heâs wearing the same clothes he entered the ring with. A white athletic shirt that moves with him, gives his long, lean muscles space to move. To flex and contract with every shallow breath.Â
Heâs still just as gorgeous as always, even with a split lip and a nasty cut that spans the length of his temple. Even with the bruising thatâs already begun to discolor his near flawless skin.Â
Sighing, you nod towards the chair behind him. âSit down.â
âWhat?â Confusion draws his brow downward, and he hisses in pain at the movement.Â
âDonât tell me your illegal fights have ruined your hearing too.â
âWhat? No.â Jungwon shakes his head. âMy hearing is perfectly fine, I mean.â
âThen sit.â You glance pointedly at the chair again. âDown.â
This time, he doesnât try to argue. You watch from your periphery, frowning at the slight limp in his left leg as he walks toward the chair, easing himself down.Â
Reaching for the first aid kit on the counter, you bring it with you as you move across the room.Â
Your steps are slow and even. They carry you all the way to the far corner, until youâre forced to stop.Â
Standing above Jungwon, your lips pull into a tight line as you begin to assess his injuries. Hesitation might be wise, but you canât find any of it left in you.Â
Your movements are sure, gentle but firm. Hands sliding to his jaw, you adjust his face slightly, turning the gash on his temple towards the light. Itâs an echo of the way he examined you in the workroom, long weeks ago.Â
This time, itâs him thatâs easily manipulable underneath your touch.Â
âWhat are you doing?â He whispers.Â
Your hesitation is gone, but so is your patience. âDonât talk.â Jungwonâs lips fall shut. Heâs pliant in your hands as you adjust him.Â
Reaching for the kit, the first thing you pull out is antiseptic cream.Â
âThis might sting,â you whisper.Â
âItâs okay,â he assures you. But he hisses at the contact all the same. âDoesnât even hurt,â he lies through gritted teeth, forcing a smile.Â
If heâs trying to be funny, his attempt at humor is lost on you.Â
Gaze still narrowed in concentration, you busy yourself by cleaning the worst of his wounds first.Â
As you move from his forehead to his lip, you donât think you imagine the sharp inhale he draws between parted lips.Â
âIt stings?â You ask him.Â
âJust a bit.â You feel the ghost of his whisper against your fingertips.Â
You look up for a moment, and you find his gaze already locked on yours. It takes a significant portion of your willpower to stop yourself from reaching up to brush his hair from his eyes.Â
It feels wrong, even if you call it friendship. Even if you and Jay never discussed exclusivity.Â
Your heart is fluttering, and thatâs what makes it all seem so illicit.Â
With no small amount of effort, you force your eyes down again. Standing above him, your fingers move from his face to his hands. His wrist clasped in your fingers, you sink to your knees in front of him.Â
Jungwon swallows audibly.Â
Pulling his hand closer, you examine the series of shallow cuts, of angry, violet bruises that line his knuckles. With another long sigh, you reach for the cream again, applying it generously before carefully wrapping it in a bandage.Â
After giving the same attention to the other hand, you lean back, assessing your handiwork.
For a moment, neither of you moves. Youâre still kneeling in front of him. He still sits above you.Â
And then, after a breath of hesitation, one carefully wrapped hand finds its way to your face.Â
Gently, with a touch so light you hardly feel it, he lays his open palm against the expanse of your cheek. Cradles it. Â
He whispers your name, and you canât find it in you to look up.Â
âI donâtâŠâ you trail off, not sure how to communicate the swirling mix of emotions simmering just beneath the surface. âI donât want to be mad at you.â
âBut you are,â Jungwon assumes. He accepts it, and he doesnât let it change anything. His hand is steady against your cheek. His thumb starts to draw small circles, just under your earlobe.Â
âIâm not,â you correct. âBut this isnâtâŠâ again your words die. Itâs frustrating, the way you feel like you can never be straightforward with him. The way you always feel like you have to navigate through subtext and half truths and partial reveals just to get a point across.Â
âBut you donât owe me anything right now.â
His thumb stills against your skin.Â
âWeâre coworkers,â you continue. âWeâre just coworkers, so it doesnât matter if you fight in illegal boxing matches. You donât have to worry about what I think of it, and I donât have to be mad at you for it.â
You do look up at him, begging for a bit of his understanding. âYou can be evasive with your excuses and reject all of my invitations. We can meet by chance in the workroom on Monday afternoons, and none of it ever has to mean anything. Neither of us ever has to feel anything about it.â
âBut,â Jungwon whispers.Â
âYeah,â you nod. Your cheek slides easily against the soft skin of his bruised hand. âBut.â
Jungwon is silent for a moment, eyes darting between both of yours. Then, tentatively, he asks, âAre you mad at him?â
He doesnât say Jayâs name, but the venom he wraps around the word is all you need to know who heâs talking about.
You shake your head, eyelids fluttering. âWeâre coworkers.â You reiterate the boundaries heâs always maintained with you. âYou donât get to ask me that.â
Jungwonâs hand slides to your neck, thumb tracing the length of your jaw now. âAnd if I want to?â
You shake your head again. You can only give him so much on a silver platter. If he wants anything to change, heâll have to find a bit of his own bravery. âThatâs not the question you need to ask me.â Looking up at him, you draw another line. âAnd not tonight.â
Youâve both been through enough. Heightened emotions rarely lead to good decisions, and the last thing you want is his indecisiveness. His impulsivity.
Quietly, you stand, his hand falling from your face as you rise to full height in front of him.Â
His eyes look wider from this angle, from above. Even shinier than usual. No matter how many boundaries you draw or how many ways you deny him, heâs someone thatâs hard to say no to. Hard to walk away from.Â
Steeling the last remnants of your resolve, you manage to look him in those dark, sparkling eyes when you tell him, âGood night, Jungwon.â
âGood night, ___,â he whispers to your retreating silhouette.Â
Closing the door behind you, you barely have a moment to catch your breath before a voice interrupts your wandering thoughts.Â
âYou like him, donât you?â
The gasp you give is out of shock more than anything. And the âWhat?â you ask is a knee jerk reaction.
 âYang.â Jay materializes from his position in the darkness, jerking his chin towards the door behind you. âYou like him.â
Immediately, you find yourself on the defense. Even if youâre just delaying the inevitable, itâs cagey when you tell him. âWe work together.â
Jay just looks at you. âMy favorite color is green.â
âWhat?â
âSorry,â Jayâs tone is flat. Heâs not annoyed, but heâs coming close to it. âI thought we were stating irrelevant facts.âÂ
With a sigh, he drags an open palm down his face. âI know you work together. But you like him, too," he sighs again, reading the horror in your expression. Mostly due to the fact that he read you like an open book when you thought you were keeping your feelings close to the chest. âIâm not⊠mad. It sucks, but itâs not like I was honest with you either. Iâm sorry, by the way, for lying about tonight.â
Itâs too much to process, all at once. Your head is swimming and your heart is pounding.Â
It was a shitty thing to do, yes, butâÂ
âYou donât have to say sorryââ
Again, Jay doesnât let you finish. âIâm not saying sorry because I have to. Iâm saying it because I am. I like you.â Heâs so honest. So blunt with his feelings. He makes things so easy. âI like spending time with you. I think we both know thatâs not enough anymore,â he casts another meaningful glance at the door behind him. The one that leads to Jungwonâs locker room, âbut itâs still true.â
âIâŠâ you trail off, unsure what to say. Heâs not wrong. In fact, heâs all but hit the nail right on the head. With deadly accuracy.Â
Heeseung was the one that found you, that brought you to Jungwon, but still.Â
Itâs not Jay that you checked in on fist. Itâs not Jay whose wounds you just cleaned. Itâs not Jay who youâre thinking about now.Â
Like he said, it sucks, but itâs still true.Â
Jay has bruises, too. Has cuts that line his knuckles and his jaw. Heâs here because heâs part of an illegal underground boxing ring. He lied to you about it.Â
But you just⊠youâre not mad at him about it. And thatâs the final nail in the coffin.Â
Jay just looks at you for a moment longer. For the third time, he sighs. âYouâre really gonna make me do this part too?â He inhales, steeling his resolve. âOkay, then. ___, I think we shouldââ
âI think we should stop seeing each other,â you finish for him. You can give him at least that much. âI had a great time getting to know you, but I think we want different things right now. I wish you all the best. Really, youâre a great guy, Jay.â
He is.Â
âI mean it.â
You do.Â
âThank you, ___.â
He means it too.Â
When Jay walks away from you, his shoulders are straight and his head is high.Â
You feel a lot of things, as you watch his retreating figure.Â
But no matter how deep you search, regret isnât one of them.Â
âŠ..
Monday morning brings with it a distinct sort of dread.Â
Partly because it marks the beginning of another long week. Mostly because going back to the office means potentially seeing him.Â
If youâre honest with yourself, youâre not sure if youâre ready for that. If youâre ready to face the feelings youâve been forcing down for months and the potential fallout they may bring with them.Â
So, when you open your inbox first thing in the morning, an unreasonable request from your supervisor isnât the thing youâre most afraid of finding.Â
Jungwon, however, isnât planning to stick to old routines. When he seeks you out, he does it in person.Â
Graceâs eyes are anywhere but on her own work when he walks through the door of the marketing department half past ten.Â
â___,â he breathes.Â
The wounds on his face are already fading, hardly even noticeable. You wish you could say the same for the turmoil raging inside of you. You canât decide if you want to throw your arms around his neck or tell him to fuck off.Â
In the end, you just look at him blankly.Â
âCan weâŠâ he trails off, visibly frustrated. He isnât sure how to do this either. âCan you help me with something? In the workroom. I think the printer is acting up again.â
The printer is fine. You used it five minutes ago.Â
But heâs not asking you to help him with work or the printer or anything else. Heâs asking for a bit of your time, a fraction of your understanding.Â
Itâs messy. It has so much potential for heartbreak, for complication.Â
But heâs here and heâs looking at you like your answer means the world to him. Like he might forget how to breathe if you donât say yes.Â
So, with a rising bout of uncertainty, you tell him, âLetâs go take a look at it.â
The printer, just as you suspected, is in perfect working order. Jungwon doesnât even spare it a second look.Â
Instead, he closes the door to the workroom behind you. And then he says, âI started boxing when I was a kid. I think I was eight, nine maybe.â
âWhat are youââ
âJust listen,â Jungwon begs. âPlease.â
You want to protest. Youâre not sure why, but the urge is strong. But after a moment of warring with yourself, you finally nod, giving him permission to continue.Â
âIt was just a hobby. Something to keep me busy on long afternoons when both of my parents were working in the restaurant my family owned. But I kept at it, and they could see how much I enjoyed it. By the time I was ten, my mom enrolled me in actual classes.â
Jungwon smiles, reminiscing on the tidbits of a happy childhood. But then his smile starts to falter. âA few months later, my grandpa died. It wasnât a surprise exactly, but it did have some unexpected consequences on the business. My family started to struggle. With money, more than anything.â
He sighs, and your heart hurts for a past version of him, too young to make sense of all of the sudden changes in his life. âI had to quit taking lessons. I kept practicing on my own, though. And when I started middle school, there was a free boxing club I joined. I met a lot of my friends there. Heeseung, who you met the other night, along with a few others. I also met Jay.â
Jungwonâs lips pull into a line. âI didnât hate him. Not exactly. He was nice enough, and we had a lot in common. But he had everything that I wanted. Money, mostly. His family never had to worry about it. He could take private lessons and always had all the nicest gear. He didnât flaunt it, but I noticed. And I envied him for it.â
Looking back at you, he continues, âHeeseung was the one that found the King Pen. He was like me, in a way. His family didnât come from money. We were young, too young, but we were good. We made them money, so they let us fight. Jay found out and wanted in too. It didnât matter that he didnât need the prize money. He just wanted to prove that he was better than us. That he was the best. It was me and him in my very first championship fight. He won, and I hated him for it.â
The ring, you realize. Jayâs ring that he dropped in your car. It was a championship ring.Â
Jungwon looks down at his hands. The bandages that you put there. âHe moved away once high school started. We didnât keep in direct contact or anything, but I always heard about him. Jay and his international boxing titles. Jay and his new sponsorship deal with a major boxing gym. It just added fuel to the fire that was already there. Made me resent him more, even if it wasnât his fault.â
No matter how you spin it, you canât imagine any of that was easy to deal with. Especially as a teenager.Â
âWith him gone, though, I started to make real money fighting. Good money. I lied to my parents and told them I got a part time job. Moving cargo so that they wouldnât be too suspicious when I came home with bruises.â
Jungwon flexes his fingers. âBoxing became my saving grace. I could give a good chunk of my earnings to my family, and the rest of it, I saved. It put me through university. Let me earn my programming degree.â
You understand him a bit more, then. Why he never seemed annoyed by his job. Why even things like jammed printers never seemed to get to him. Heâs thankful for where he is. Has nothing but gratitude for his job when he earned it with years of his own blood, sweat, and tears.Â
âI have a steady income now, but itâs just⊠hard, I guess. To let that part of me go. And if Iâm honest, part of me has always been afraid too. I mean, my parents had a steady income until they didnât, you know? I like knowing that even if something happens here, Iâll still be able to support myself. And them.â
It makes sense. It does.Â
âAnd then Jay came back.â Jungwon scoffs. âHeâd barely been in town for a full twenty-four hours when he showed up at Kangâs with all of his fancy gear and asked to be added to the roster for the next round of fights. And then he showed up there with you and I⊠I thought I was actually going to lose it.â
Even now, Jungwonâs shoulders are visibly tense. âThe actual gym is usually fine, safe for outsiders, but still. He shouldnât have risked your safety like that. He should have known better. And IâŠâ Jungwon trails off again.Â
You donât think youâre imagining the slight tinge of pink that starts to color his cheekbones.
âI was already having a bad enough time with the fact that you were seeing someone. When it turned out to be him, I just⊠Well, you know.â
Jungwon takes a deep breath in, releases a long exhale.Â
âI donât like making bets, and I donât like situations I canât predict. Things I donât have control over. I guess thatâs part of the reason why I always liked boxing so much. In the ring, I feel like I have a say in what happens. That even if I lose, itâs because I didnât move fast enough. I didnât think quick enough. Things I have control over. Things I can get better at.â
Jungwon looks at you. âI hate guessing. I hate having to wonder. I like sure things.âÂ
His chest is rising and falling a little faster now. Your breath is just as shallow.Â
âWhat are you saying?â you ask him.Â
âIâm saying that I donât just want to be coworkers with you. I want you to be mad at me for fighting in illegal underground boxing matches.â Jungwonâs gaze is imploring, pleading for your understanding as his eyes search yours. âI want you to call me when the printer jams and when you have a hard day and when you want someone to go to a stupid work event with you on a Friday night.âÂ
He takes a step closer to you, and you feel your spine press against the door of the workroom.Â
âI want you to be a sure thing,â he breathes, âeven if everything about you â the way I feel about you, the thoughts I have about you, the things I want to do to you â have always felt out of my control.â
âOh.â Your voice is small. Your mouth is dry. Caged in against the door, words are suddenly a hard thing to come by.Â
âOh,â Jungwon echoes. âIs that a yes?â
Heâs even closer now. Nose brushing against yours, he interlaces the fingers of his less injured hand with yours, reaching up until your hands are intertwined above your head.Â
âNo,â you shake your head.Â
âMm,â Jungwon hums, and you feel the vibration travel the length of your spine, settling somewhere deep, just beneath your navel. His lips brush against the corner of your mouth when he asks, âItâs a no, then?â
Again, you shake your head. Trapped in his embrace, the movement is tiny, restricted. Sends goosebumps scattering across your skin everywhere the two of you are touching.Â
âAn oh is just an oh,â you tell him. âThis is a yes.âÂ
There isnât any distance to close. Just pressure to add. He accepts it willingly, even if the sudden contact against the still broken skin of his bottom lip has him releasing a hiss through his teeth.Â
Itâs a discomfort he gets over quickly. His other hand, the one not currently tangled with yours, relocates to the curve of your jaw before heâs doubling down, pain all but forgotten as his lips part against yours.Â
A repeated motion. A rhythm thatâs stilted at first but starts to feel natural the longer you continue.Â
Over and over. Again and again until the action starts to feel useless. Until youâre not quite sure where his breath ends and yours begin.Â
Youâre in the office workroom, pressed against the door, and the printer is starting to beep in protest.Â
Youâre sure youâll be thoroughly embarrassed when you inevitably leave long minutes later with mussed hair and swollen lips and a certain programmer trailing behind you that canât contain his self-satisfied smile.Â
But for now, you get what he means. It feels good. It feels like relief, to finally know where you stand with him.Â
So instead of worrying about what your supervisor will think of your mussed collar and smudged lipstick, you pull him down a little firmer by the back of the neck, fingers tangling in the hair along his nape.Â
You sigh into his mouth, and the fervor he returns with leaves you well and truly breathless.Â
And for once, it feels like a sure thing.Â
âŠ..
epilogueÂ
Jungwon: SOS
Jungwon: Babyyyyyyyy
Jungwon: I know youâre reading my messagesÂ
Jungwon: PLEASE ___ I really need your help
You: Iâm BUSY what do you need
Jungwon: The printer is jammed again
You: And what do you want me to do about that? Call maintenance
Jungwon: Oh pleaseÂ
Jungwon: Last time I called maintenance they sent a guy that couldnât tell A4 from A3 this is not the job for them
Jungwon: Plus they donât have the magic touch like you
You: Literally what are you talking about
You: The last time I tried to fix the printer, I broke it so bad it was out of commission for two whole weeks
You: The entire floor was mad at me
You: I had to buy Grace coffee every day for TWO WEEKS
Jungwon: PLEASEEEEEE
Jungwon: Just try once and if it doesnât work Iâll call maintenance
Jungwon: I promise
You: âŠ
You: FINE
You: On my way
Tucking your phone back into your pocket, you sigh. The workroom door opens with little resistance, but as soon as you step inside, you frown.Â
Jungwon, for starters, is nowhere to be seen.Â
And the printer, at least from first impressions, appears to be working just fine. Completely jam-free.
Youâre not left in the dark for long. A moment later, the door opens behind you.Â
Tumbling in like an overexcited kitten, your boyfriend looks all too enthused to be dealing with a supposed jammed printer.Â
Gesturing towards the machine in question, you frown at him. âWhat were you talking about? The printer is perfectly fââ
He cuts you off with the press of his lips against your own, pushing you backwards until you run into the printer, spine arching against the copier tray.Â
âJungwon,â you protest once he finally lets you up for air. âItâs like you want HR to start a case against us. You have got to stop doing that.â
âDoing what?â He feigns innocence, even as he leans in again for another long kiss.Â
âMm,â you mumble, breaking free again. âYou know exactly what Iâm talking about. Faking printer emergencies as an excuse to make out. Weâre at work.â
Jungwon leans back, but the only thing he uses the space for is to let himself scan you from head to toe. Biting his bottom lip, he runs a set of fingers through the hair that falls across his forehead. âYou know, youâre a really terrible liar.â
âIâm not lyââ
âIf you actually wanted me to stop, you wouldnât fall for it every.â He presses a kiss to the tip of your nose. âSingle.â The top of your cheekbone. âTime.â The corner of your mouth. Â
And you hate to admit it, but he kind of has you there.Â
âWhatever.â You pout, but he just uses it as an excuse to plant another long kiss on your pursed lips. âIâm serious, Jungwon,â you tell him, even if youâre just as breathless as he is, despite the fact that youâre actively pulling him in by the back of his neck. âThis has to be the last time.â
âMm,â he smiles against your lips. âSure thing, ___.â
âŠ..
outtake â seven months ago.
The tinted window of Jungwonâs secondhand car is hardly an ideal mirror, but heâll have to make it work.Â
Giving himself a final once over, he straightens his already immaculate tie. Tugs at the collar of his button down shirt so that it lays just a little bit nicer, the edges of the folds just a fraction of a millimeter sharper.Â
Bending slightly, he smooths down his hair, pushing it away from his eyes. Catching his reflection again, he suddenly has second thoughts about the version of himself that he sees.Â
Bleaching his hair had seemed like a good â no, great â idea a few weeks ago. But now, dressed in business casual and about to begin his first day at a new job, doubts start to swirl through Jungwonâs mind.Â
What if they donât think the blonde is professional enough? What if it breaks some kind of unspoken dress code?
He knows it doesnât break the actual, company mandated dress code. Mostly because heâs already read through the handbook.Â
Twice.Â
With annotations.Â
Frowning slightly, Jungwon tilts his head to the side. Heâs gotten pretty good with concealer, but thereâs still a faint purplish tint that sits just along the edge of his jaw.Â
It takes a decent amount of effort not to wince at the memory. Sunghoon had gotten him good that day.Â
Jungwon forces his shoulders to relax. Forces himself to take one big breath in. Release it out slowly.Â
He has no reason to panic. He went through the same, brutal rounds of interviews as everyone else and was deemed to be the most qualified candidate. He graduated summa cum laude in the same field heâll be employed in now.Â
And itâs not like anyoneâs going to be looking at his face close enough to notice any slight discoloration. Or, at least, he doesnât think they will.Â
To be honest, heâs not really sure how this whole thing works. Office jobs, no matter how many online forums heâs scoured and articles heâs read, are still a bit of a mystery to him.Â
He hates it. Hates feeling out of his depth and ill prepared. Hates knowing that heâll have to ask too many questions and stumble through tasks until he gets the basics down.Â
But part of him is excited too.Â
He did it. Standing in the parking lot of an otherwise rather unremarkable company, it hits him all at once.Â
He actually fucking did it.Â
All those nights in the ring. Every bruise, every scar, every drop of blood. Every saved penny, every skipped opportunity.Â
They landed him here. An 8 to 5 office job that isnât flashy or anything special from the outside, but to him, means the world.Â
Heâll have it all: a steady salary, a place to be in the mornings, coworkers to notice when heâs not around. Itâs not much, but itâs his.Â
So, with one last deep inhale, Jungwon turns away from his car window and tracks a steady path on even footsteps towards the front door.Â
And a handful of hours later, when Terry from accounting is still talking his ear off about his sonâs latest hockey match in the doorway of the staff kitchen, Jungwonâs heart gives an unsteady lurch.Â
âHey, Terry,â you nod in acknowledgement, entering the kitchen in search of an early afternoon refill for your empty coffee mug. âHey, oh.â Your eyes meet his, lips parting. Your words die when you realize you donât know what to call him. When you realize youâve never actually seen him before.Â
And itâs not like Jungwon has never seen a pretty girl before, but â oh.Â
Oh.Â
Dressed in a rather simple, work approved ensemble, hair loose around your face, thereâs nothing specific that he can pinpoint. All Jungwon knows is that thereâs something about you that makes him want to keep looking.Â
âJungwon,â he supplies, a bit breathlessly.Â
Behind him, Terry is still regaling the details of his kidâs game-winning goal.Â
Eyes locked on him, a beat of heavy silence passes. And then â
âHi, Jungwon.âÂ
Your eyes. He thinks it must be your eyes. Or maybe your lips. The delicate curve of your cheekbone. His gaze canât decide where to land.Â
âHi,â he manages.Â
Eyes sliding over his shoulder to Terry, you release a small, amused breath. âHey, Terry?â
Stopping mid sentence, the middle aged man turns to you. âOh, hi, ____. How are you?â
___. Jungwon thinks it suits you. A pretty name for a pretty girl.Â
âJust fine, thanks.â You flash him a quick smile. Just a bare hint, and Jungwon feels his knees getting a little wobbly beneath him. âBut I was wondering if you could help me with something.â
âOf course,â Terry nods a little too enthusiastically. Fifteen years at the same company, and heâs the kind of person that still jumps at the opportunity to be needed. Helpful. Jungwon thinks itâs kind of sweet, even if he wishes the manâs gift for brevity in storytelling could be a bit more apparent.Â
âYou know the printer in the workroom?â
Terry nods.Â
âItâs jammed again,â you frown, the slightest hint of a pout pulling at your lips. Jungwon canât quite find it in himself to look away from the movement. âDo you think you could take a look at it for me?â
Terry beams. âOf course! Iâd be happy to.âÂ
And then itâs just the two of you.Â
âHe means well.â You smile again, softer this time. Like youâre discussing an inside joke only the two of you know about.Â
Jungwon is suddenly finding his breath a difficult thing to maintain.Â
âDoes the printer do that a lot?â He finally manages to ask. âJam, I mean.â
âAll the time.â You roll your eyes. âYouâd think a company raking in this much profit would have the cash to spare on a new machine, but no. This entire floor is just ill fated to sufferâ Thereâs an air of humor to your words, a slight hint of teasing, even if Jungwon thinks thereâs an undercurrent of truth to your words.Â
You smile again. Teeth tugging at your bottom lip, Jungwon can only describe your expression as slightly devious. âItâs not jammed now, though.â
His brow furrows. âItâs not?â
You shake your head. âI was given the gory details of Terryâs sonâs soccer game yesterday. Trust me, I saved you a headache and an extra thirty minutes.â You wink at him, and Jungwon really, really hopes the sudden heat in his cheeks doesnât look as obvious as it feels.Â
âI think it was a hockey match, actually.â
âOh.â You pause for a moment, considering. âRight.â
A moment of silence passes. Another. Jungwon has never minded the quiet, but heâs not quite ready for this interaction to end. Suddenly, he feels like heâs scrambling for something to prolong it.Â
âThank you.â
Your brow furrows. âFor what.â
âThe extra thirty minutes and the absence of a headache.â Jungwon taps two fingers against his temple. âI appreciate it.â
âAh,â you smile, and this time itâs a bit brighter, wider. Jungwon, not for the first time today, thanks his lucky stars that he was accepted for this position. That it landed him here, sharing a staff kitchen with someone like you. âAnytime.â
He hopes you mean it.Â
And when you turn away from him a few moments later, original mission to refill your coffee remembered, Jungwon looks up at the ceiling with his eyes screwed shut and takes a long, much needed breath.Â
âJungwon,â you turn back. Luckily, heâs just returned to a more natural standing position.Â
âYeah?â
âItâs nice to meet you. Donât let this place get you down too quickly.â You wink again. Jungwon does his best to keep his features neutral. âIâll see you around, yeah?â
âYeah,â he agrees, even though youâve already turned back to the coffee machine. âSure thing, ___.â
â.Ë⥠àŁȘ Ëâ.Ë⥠àŁȘ Ëâ.Ë⥠àŁȘ Ë
note: and we're done! thank you for reading! and thank you for bearing with me and the fact that this unfortunately had to be split into two parts. I hope you enjoyed this story, and as always, I would love to hear any thoughts you have. all the best âĄ
#jungwon fanfiction#jungwon fanfic#jungwon x you#jungwon x reader#enhypen fanfiction#enhypen fanfic#enhypen x you#enhypen x reader#enhypen scenarios#enhypen imagines#jungwon scenarios#jungwon imagines
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Just wanted to say here (tho I'll be commenting on ao3 too) how much I'm loving rereading the accidental warlord especially right now â€ïž
I'm an lgbt female American living in scotland so I'm sure you can guess how I'm feeling rn and tbh rereading this fic series has made me feel so much better. It's kinda like looking at another time line where politicians and people in power really cared about the people they're in charge of
Brilliant story and brilliantly told so thanks for continuing to write it â€ïžđ
(honestly, can Geralt just conquer the USA too? đ€Ł)
Thank you!
I must admit that recent political events have made writing a series in which the people in charge genuinely want to make the world a better, safer, happier place for as many people as possible, without ulterior motives, a little...
Let's go with Emotionally Complicated.
But I am glad it brings you joy and comfort, and I hope it will continue to do so.
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This weekâs writer spotlight feature is:Â @cuips-not-cute! cuips_not_cute has six fics in the Stranger Things fandom on AO3 and all of them are in the Steddie tag!
Our anonymous nominator recommends the following works by @cuips-not-cute:
he could be brave
blood is an aphrodisiac
honeyed affection
blinking red light
cyclical
"cuips is a master of taking the reader on an emotional roller coaster ride. The amount of times I've laughed and cried at the same time reading his fics have been too numerous to count. Especially the depth of the sex scenes and the character beats and growth they portray are gorgeous to read - and also very titillating. I love Steve and Eddie in every one of cuips stories, adore the little mannerisms they are given and the way they interact with each other and other characters. Besides the inspiring prose cuips can pull off a plot like few other people I've found so far - since blinking red light is still ongoing, I'll just point to cyclical for that. I'm very thankful to cuips for writing and posting these stories and for being a very active part of this lovely fandom." -- anonymous
Below the cut, @cuips-not-cute answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!
Why do you write Steddie?
i donât even know. i was happily in the ofmd fandom when i watched season 4 almost three years ago now (oh god) and then the characters⊠they got me. i fear theyâll never leave.
Whatâs your favorite trope to READ?
god, so many. theyâre all kinda the same flavor though so iâll list out what iâm always filtering for to find a new fic: bottom/sub eddie, creature/monster eddie, post s4, canon compliant, soft dom steve, sex pollen, spit kink, rimming (perhaps my FAVORITE ever thing to read), switch eddie/switch steve⊠the list goes on.
Whatâs your favorite trope to WRITE?
probably also rimming. thereâs just something so romantic about eating ass. and i really love to stick with post s4 canon compliant aus, too, i donât think iâve written an actual for real au yet, though i do have an idea for one after brl.
Whatâs your favorite Steddie fic?
i donât know if i can pick!! my ao3 bookmarks host my many all-time faves, but if you wanna go by the fic iâve reread the most itâs probably the affliction of the feeling. itâs so fucking good.
Is there a trope youâre excited to explore in a future work but havenât yet?
YES!!! i have never written omegaverse!!! which is crazy, âcause i like it a LOT. i have a post-s4 omegaverse au kicking around in my head currently, and i cannot wait to sink my teeth into all the messy biology and politics that come with the omegaverse.
What is your writing process like?
chaotic, in a word. usually, iâll get a fic idea while iâm balls-deep in writing another fic so iâll shove it to the side and let it simmer while i finish that first one, then iâll spend a good long while planning it out in ridiculous detail, and THEN iâll start actually drafting. i like to have a fully fleshed out outline and a couple chapters written and edited before i start posting, and once posting begins i tend to deviate quite a bit from my outline but itâs all good fun.
Do you have any writing quirks?
definitely. i donât like pointing them out for fear of other folks seeing them in everything i do, but theyâre there. one that i donât mind so much is my absolute abuse of the word âlittle.â everything is âa littleâ of this, âa littleâ of that, but i try to cut my usage down significantly while iâm editing.
Do you prefer posting when youâve finished writing or on a schedule?
i always TRY to keep a schedule but⊠yeah. it never works. iâm far too busy for one, but attempts are made. iâd like to one day write a fic in full before posting it, because i think itâd be a whole lot better if i let it sit for that long but lord, i sure do like getting ao3 comments on every chapter. they make the writing motivation go WAY up.
Which fic are you most proud of?
brl, definitely. that fucker is LONG and iâm barely halfway through it. i think iâve done a lot of cool things with it and iâm going to do some more cool things and iâve made a lot of really awesome friends in the process of writing it so itâs got some pretty insane sentimental value to me. itâs definitely going to be a fic iâll miss writing once i finish it, but thatâs what the epilogue series is for!!!
How did you get the idea for blinking red light?
from another fic!!! @racketghost is the author of one of my favorite things iâve ever read, which is the good omens zach and miri au, closed set (https://archiveofourown.org/works/23320960/chapters/55862155 <- hyperlinked), wherein crowley has been lying about the existence of some angelic sex tapes to all of hell, and then he and aziraphale have to actually make the tapes. itâs awesome. itâs gorgeous. brl is one big giant love letter to this fic, because it means so fucking much to me and i think about it ALL the time.Â
When writing honeyed affection, what was something you didnât expect?
hmm, i donât know? ha is, i think, a pretty easygoing fic with lots and lots of porn stuffed inside it, and that was all i intended it to be so i cannot think of anything i was surprised by!!
What inspired blood is an aphrodisiac?
i just wanted to write vampire eddie. it was july â22, kas theories were everywhere, i had to try it. these days i think i would change a LOT about it because my ideas and hcs surrounding the characters have evolved significantly, but iâll write vampire eddie again and âfixâ everything i no longer like about biaa.
What was your favorite part to write from he could be brave?
âŠthe fisting. i genuinely think some of my best writing is in that scene, and while i feel the same way about this fic as i do biaa, the fisting scene will always hold a special place in my heart. iâm very, very excited to write the fisting chapter in brl because of this scene. fisting rules.
How do/did you feel writing cyclical?
i wrote cyclical during a very weird few months of my life, so writing it was sort of my way of dealing with all the insane shit going on around me, and i think it shows. in a good way, though, because cyclical is a timeloop fic so it needed to be a little angsty and insane. iâm stupidly proud of that fic. @ryeallytired actually BOUND it into a PHYSICAL BOOK and SENT IT TO ME and when i tell you that is the singular most precious object i own, i mean it.
What was the most difficult part of writing blinking red light?
PLOTTING THAT BITCH. GOD. iâm so happy to be actually WRITING it now, the planning was genuinely so brutal. my issue was that i was sticking too close to the plot of closed set (<3) which just⊠did not work for steddie. closed setâs premise centers around crowley lying about making sex tapes, yes, but he lied about them to PROTECT aziraphale, which is the messiest, kindest, riskiest fucking thing ever. and itâs awesome. in the early planning stages of brl, i was trying to put eddie in the crowley role of lying about having made sex tapes with steve, but it reallyyy didnât work. there was an oc and i absolutely hated him, plus i didnât like what that premise was doing to eddieâs character⊠ugh. it was a MESS. it took several rubber duck-ing conversations with my brilliant friend @lollaika and a rewatch of zach and miri to finally realize that it had to be STEVE who brings up the idea of sex tapes so that he could protect eddie, rather than eddie bringing it up to save his own hide (yikes).
Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?
oooh, lots. reallyyyy loved chapter 8 of cyclical with all of the pov shifts, that was super fun to write. i also really enjoyed writing the dry humping/sex tape convo in the first chapter of brl, and iâm stupidly excited to write chapters 12, 13, 15, and 17, because of specific scenes that will happen in each.
Do you have any upcoming projects or fics youâd like to share/promote?
i do!! after brl is completed iâll have to choose from two story ideas (because i cannot have two wips at once or iâll get SO stressed), one being a semi-realistic steddie cowboy au based off my own experiences with growing up on a farm and featuring messy, earnest cowboys and not-fully-human eddie, and the other being the omegaverse au i want to write, which will have a very fun mix of vampire eddie, dubcon bitching, and accidental mating bites!!!
Outside of these questions, Is there anything YOU would like to add?
i cannot think of anything!! this was super fun :D
Thank you to our author, @cuips-not-cute, and our anonymous nominator! See more of cuips_not_cute's works featured on our page throughout the day!
Writerâs Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!
#writer's spotlight#writer's wednesday#ao3 writer#steddie writers#steddie#steddie fic recs#steve harrington#eddie munson#steve x eddie#stranger things
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Okay so I read thought your Clegan Age Gap AU and I am ENTRANCED like I am soooo down for it and let me make sure I get this straight but after they first kiss and admit their feelings for each other they start living together but they still donât do anything sexual for a whole year because John thinks Gale is too young and doesnât want to take advantage of him?
Iâm just imagining the absolute TORTURE this had to have been for John especially with Gale constantly teasing him and trying to get him to give in, throwing himself all over John, rutting up against him while they kiss, undressing in front of him, climbing into bed with him on top of him and straddling him, literally BEGGING John to fuck him. That man was so strong I donât know how he did it đ©
oh man, thank you anon!! honestly i recently did a reread of all of my age gap stuff because they have such a vice grip on me, those fucking boys I swear to fucking god I will never know peace
some small timeline stuff just to clear up some things: Gale meets John in like January or February before he turns 20, just after he turned 19, and they don't start dating until maybe October or November, close enough to when Gale turns twenty but still too long to go without being depraved
in this au I'm making Gale a virgin, he hasn't experienced anything other than kissing and so when John finds this out he's a little spooked, doesn't want to take advantage of Gale before they're sure their relationship is going to stick. He's afraid Gale wouldn't want to do it with someone so much older than him, doesn't even know why Gale wants to be with him in the first place, so he wants to make it extra special for him. He's also a little spooked by the "teen" in Gale's age, he can make a perfectly fine excuse for dating him and kissing him but he's not entirely comfortable having sex with someone so young
Gale of course doesn't give a flying fuck about John's age. He's a consenting adult who finds John insanely attractive and wants to have sex with him, he's desperately trying to get John to touch him and be a little rougher with him, but John won't budge, promises he'll do it on Gale's birthday and make it extra special for him, which only makes Gale pout even more
that doesn't stop John from being turned on by Gale though, oh no, Gale is purposefully being a dickhead and trying to get John to overcome his silly little deadline by wearing slutty tops and tight jeans, picks the perfect clothing to drive John absolutely insane, and John just grits his teeth and clenches his fist because he has morals, he will not fall to the whim of Gale, no matter how hard he tries
they settle for insane make out sessions, one's where they're basically dry humping each other into the couch and where they're basically swapping spit, mouths open and groans deep and heavy, Gale sat in John's lap with John's arm around his waist, and maybe Gale can handle this, just until his twentieth birthday at least
and you know John's gonna make their first time the absolute sweetest thing on planet earth, but I shant discuss it here, full fic coming around during christmastime :))
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lurkey lurkey
so i had in my mind been like "when the farm season is over i'm gonna get so much done" and also in my mind been like "bitch be real i am going to be decompressing uncontrollably and will achieve nothing" and just as one might have predicted, i have split the difference, spinning wheels wildly and also achieving little.
i did do a final definitive trial of ADHD meds, long put-off because the season was too hectic, and decided that yes, my impression of July was correct, I suck at being medicated LOL
I did start publishing the 150k of incoherent fanfic I started writing in August while insane, and I might keep going on that; there's a small audience but a lovely one
and I really really did take the characters from that fanfic and shove them into a new story and I have written several tens of thousands of words of notes but in the last couple of days I actually think I have begun to write a draft. So.
If anyone is interested in possibly doing some beta-reading, even just cheer-reading, of a draft of an original novel about bisexual tall ship sailors in a solarpunk setting, I should mention that the stay-at-home wife is turning out to be the B-plot heroine (it might actually be the A plot) and the Admiral's sassy gay socialite husband is doing some heavy lifting I hadn't expected, but on the other hand, the children are less onscreen than I'd expected. And I'm not sure where the sex is going to fit in, if at all. But there is still an OT3.
So let me know about that. I'm not quite ready with a shareable draft but I'm two chapters in and cautiously optimistic that this is actually a story. Maybe?
But I'm about to head back to the farm for the turkey processing ordeal, which is a solid week of extremely hard work with a major holiday in the middle with family obligations and then more work immediately afterward, so I don't expect to have time to work on it for a bit. But it's ruminating in there, I promise.
I have a snippet, which is a first-- everything I've written so far I've hated upon rereading, so that's why I think I'm making progress. I've renamed everyone but kept the first names mostly, where I didn't swap genders. This is the opening of chapter 2, so we've already had Technology Backstory With Smart Wifey, and Action Sequence At Sea With Explosions, and now it's time for Character Backstories:
Someone shouted his name from down the street, and Tom laughed aloud, handed his datapad to the mildly alarmed merchant captain walking beside him, and turned, holding his arms out and bracing himself to receive the sudden arrival of thirteen stone or so of Yardley at full velocity. James always jumped and Tom always caught him, that was how it had worked since they were about thirteen, and he spun around to absorb some of the excess velocity and then kissed James soundly on the mouth before setting him down. âAtkins, you fucker,â Yardley said. Heâd knocked both their hats off. He was tan, straight off a run from around the Storms, and had been long-scheduled to meet them here. Constellationâs limping had slowed them down so much they were eight days overdue, so heâd likely been hanging around a while now. âI hear you have a good excuse for being late.â âI donât know that itâs good,â Tom said, retrieving their hats and putting Yardleyâs back on him. Then he realized it was the wrong hat, so he switched them. âBut it couldnât exactly have been avoided.â James grabbed his face in both hands and kissed him again, and it could read as just friendly to a casual observer but Tom knew it was not, and smiled, curling his tongue wickedly but briefly behind Jamesâs teeth before pulling back. James kept hold of his face and frowned. âYou look like shit,â he said. âThanks,â Tom said. âYou look like youâve been lying around Barka drinking and fu--â He rerouted the sentence, remembering they werenât alone. âMaking friends.â âWell,â James said modestly, preening, ânaturally.â
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PJO Future AU head-cannon stuff (some ARE taken from other peoples head-cannons bc theyâre awesome):
- Will Solace would not be a medic/be in the medical fieldâ I feel like just because heâs good at it doesnât mean he likes it. Maybe heâd be a teacher because of his leadership skills.
- I feel like from working in the infirmary and having people close to him pass, Nico would choose a medical field job. I feel like heâd be an RN (registered nurse) or doctor and work at like an urgent care (er is too crazy for himâ or maybe it wouldnât and heâd like the chaos)
- I also feel like thereâd be a not so great injury and Nico would be like âOh let me seeâ then see it and be like âoh thatâs really coolâ not much would phase himâ or it would but heâd find it fascinating
- I feel like the fact that they didnât have these new kinds of tech when Nico was growing up also adds to his fascination. Like what do you mean x-Ray machines exist?
- I feel like Percy would do well with water jobsâ like maybe heâd be a marine biologist and heâd find it fun to just communicate with the ocean life.
- Frank and Hazel would take a lot of dual credit classes or graduate early from highschool so they could focus on the campâ like theyâd take online stuff so they could spend more time focusing on camp. (hope that makes sense) Iâm not sure what I think their careers would be.
- Leo would own his own mechanic shop after going to trade school (saw on tiktok)
- Jason (revived) would be a professor of historyâ probably mythology.
- As a Valgrace shipper (dont judge pls) I think that theyâd get together shortly after Jason is revived (not too shortâ six months after?) because theyâve been through a lot already and donât want to risk anything again.
Now, onto kids because I donât see these often but I find it fun to imagine:
- Frank would be a girl dad. Heâs got two daughters and is just so happy with them and Hazel.
- Percy and Annabeth would have three kids, two girls and a son, in that order. I feel like Percy and Annabeth would work hard to have good relationships with their kids and finally relax. I feel like theyâd be sorta protective but also be very relaxed with them- educate them about being mature and making good choices.
- I feel like Annabeth would realize how important names were and try to name her kids after popular figures in history who had good stories
- Will and Nico would probably have two kids, both adopted, but one would be one of Willâs half-siblings/half-nephews. The kid was really little, like four or five, when he got to camp and Will just kinda adopted him so he didnât have to be full-time at camp. They also have a daughter but not until the son is like 12. Sheâs also adopted and is also a half-blood but I feel like they wouldnât know who her godly parent is until sheâs 12 and then be shocked because sheâs like a child of Zeus.
- Leo and Jason would wait a while and focus on their relationship and careers. Then theyâd adopt two daughters (not at the same time) and raise them where they donât know about half-bloods until theyâre older. Theyâd probably be half-bloods so that way they could raise them the way they wished they were raised. Leo and Jason donât want them to have to see and experience the stuff they had to at such a young age.
- I donât think any of them would name their kids after any of their late friends. I saw someone, a while ago, bring up that it could result in bad memories or just not be an okay time yet to do so. Soâ I donât think that Annabeth would name her kid Silena and I donât think Nico would name his kid Bianca.
- However, I do feel like Annabeth and Percy would name their eldest Sally after Percyâs mom (it would work well with the headcannon that Annabeth would name her kids after people with good stories) and have her middle name be a positive powerful historical figure.
(I realize I left Piper outâ Iâve been forgetting a lot about characters recently and need to go back and reread HOO in order to grasp what I think sheâd do in the future)
#pjo tsats#pjo hoo toa tsats#pjo headcanon#pjo hoo toa#pjo fandom#pjo future au#valgrace#percabeth#frazel#solangelo#headcannons#percy jackson#annabeth chase#nico di angelo#will solace#hazel levesque#frank zhang#leo valdez#jason grace
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i know it aired a while back but i cannot move on: tien from la pluie
Friend, I absolutely relate to not moving on from this show and this character.
SAENGTIEN, MY PERFECT CHILD!
(linking the The Great La Pluie Meta Roundup, because we deserve to read and reread those posts forever and ever, till the end of time)
How I feel about this character
He is my sassy little son and I love him so much!
He has opinions and he is not afraid to let people know about them.
He read his brother for filth right from the beginning, took absolutely no shit from Lomfon when he was being a sulky, annoying pest,and was the #1 hype man for Patts and Taiâs relationship. I donât think he really needs any protection from me, I know that he can comfortably eviscerate his enemies without breaking a sweat, but I will be there for him at the end of the day, on the couch, with fluffy blankets and snacks and soda, so he can unwind and tell me all about how most people in his life are stupid, are making their stupidity his problem.
All the people I ship romantically with this character
Listen. As much as I hated Lomfon and his stupid ass for the mess he made, I really believe that the Lomfon we saw in the finale is a good match for Saengtien. And I believe Tien is the right match for Lomfon because when that boy throws another tantrum, a whack from Tien is what will set him straight (heh) once again. So I only ship him with Lomfon and vice versa. Also, take a moment and send a prayer into the universe for a La Pluie sequel, please and thank you.
My non-romantic OTP for this character
I wish we had gotten to see more banter between Saengtien and his dad. They are both extremely perceptive and witty. I would love to be a fly on the wall when they have a gab session.
My unpopular opinion about this character
Saengtien is a very strong, level-headed, and complex character, and I feel like his maturity and ability to handle bullshit by himself was underplayed by the audience as the show went on. Him being quirky and high-energy and jumping up in excitement whenever he feels like it without a care in the world does not mean that he is immature. He does not need to be rescued, and he definitely does not need to be coddled. Heâs been taking care of his self-absorbed elder brother for years while he refused to work through his soulmate bond issues, and he made sure Tai still kept in touch with his parents even while nursing a misplaced anger on their mother. Taking care of himself? Pfft. My son is fine. All he needs is considerate love and companionship, not pampering.
One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon
We only ever saw him have a really strong outburst of emotions when Tai was stuck on the mountain. The hurt on his face when he finally faced Lomfon after their fight in the rain was heartbreaking, yet measured. And when he returned home, he didnât lash out at Tai. Instead he sat down with his brother and calmly talked it through. I like these original character choices for him, and I understand the character and thematic cohesion reasons behind it. But I still wish weâd seen him scream out in anger just once in the show. Has he ever gotten to express his frustration in his whole life without having to consider how it would affect the people in his life, and ultimately holding back? Based on what we saw on the show, I would safely bet no. And that hurts my soul.
The bestest boy to ever best boy.
Give me a character ask game
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Hi can you write Ben Shelton x fem reader where reader is also a pro player and her and Ben are like close friends and team up to play mixed doubles in like the us open and it's kinda like friends to lovers and they being all flirty on court and eventually admit feelings to each other?
TLDR: STORY! Tennisplayer!fem reader x Ben Shelton friends to lovers. Sort of took them flirty on and off court. Tried to build it up. Mention of Bryan Shelton and Tommy Paul cameo, thanks for stopping by, kings.
Word count + info: 17.6k! SUPER LONG STORYTIME w dialogue! (over an hour's worth of reading, ouu you're well fed tonight)
Character Inspo: Just a sweet girl, like "girl-next-door" girl. Listened to "After the First Kiss" - Faye Webster writing this (cried on first listen, enjoy the link), if that helps you envision sweet, cute, pure vibes. No specifications are mentioned (except a general "shorter" height than Ben).
Warnings + Content Ahead: SFW - no warnings - slight mention of cheating and gaslighting.
Azzie Notes â: Hi my sweet munchkins! I'm so sorry anon, this took so long to come out but life got busy + then tumblr had this unavailable for me when I queued to post which tbh was a miracle bc I was rlly unsure while writing this, and I took my own time to reread and rework it, but idk guess I have writer's block, sorta? It doesn't feel like my best work... be brutally honest w me in ur feedback when u finish reading.
And then also there's a part that was just v vulnerable for me to write, but I couldn't really imagine the scene playing out any differently. Essentially, Y/N's dialogue about her ex - that's my lived experience...erm, so I was just tinkering of ways to rewrite it but I just couldn't think of anything else to fill it with.
Anywho, boy do I have a lotta requests coming up! Be patients w me pls! Also anon, "d" you are a genius, I'm so excited to write ur prompt hehehehe, but sorry if it takes some time :(. I got a Holiday surprise coming up, I'll lyk by the end of the month what that is, but OOOH, SFW Shelton nation, prepare urselves! How are we doing otherwise? Let me know! Are you taking good care of your health in these cold months + wrapping up? Make sure to get your vitamins in! Also, is my tumblr ugly? Should I make a colour theme and redo my masterlist properly? Help?
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Beyond the Baseline - B.T.S
The relationship between you and Ben Shelton was like watching day and night play tennis. Seriously, how could you be friends? What did you even have in common? What would you even talk about?
You, polished, textbook perfect, poised. A steady player who never lets emotions show on the court. Confident but never loud about it. After a win, youâd offer a graceful nod to the crowd, maybe a modest fist pump, but never more. Your game was a masterclass in precision in every shot calculated, every movement on and off court methodical. Fans admired how you dismantled opponents with strategy and patience, and your flawless form made it look effortless. Off the court, you were polite and kindred, smiling, making everyone feel at ease without even trying.
You were the embodiment of calm, pristine tennis. If anyone wanted an example of âplaying by the book,â theyâd point to you.
And then there was Ben Shelton.
Ben, who was your complete opposite. Loud, unpredictable, made waves and was unapologetic, and yet, utterly captivating. His game thrived on power and chaos, booming serves, fast sprinting bursts across the court, and reckless dives to the net, every point celebrated with fist pumps and wild energy. He lived for those moments that made crowds roar, he basked and riled the stands. When you calmly shake hands with your opponents, Ben chats effortlessly at the net, teasing, joking, and slapping his opponentâs back with that infectious grin. Impossible to dislike, even when he was cocky. Off the court, he was just as loud, just as alive when socialising. If you were a quiet, steady river with your course set, Ben was a wildfire, impossible to contain or predict.
Yet, somehow, despite your differences, you clicked.
It all started that first year on tour at a crossover event where the tours shared a venue. After a long day of matches, you found yourself in the players' lounge, neatly perched in a plush chair, legs crossed, posture upright and as perfect as ever. You still had that composed, in-control air about you, ready to handle anything gracefully.
Then, in strolled Ben Shelton.
He collapsed into the chair across from you, manspreading like it was his personal throne, slouching so far down it was a wonder he didnât slide onto the floor.
He glanced at you with a lazy grin, his curls messy and unruly, his eyes sparkling with mischief. âY'always sit like youâre posing for the cover of Tennis Monthly?â he asked, amusement laced with that accent of his, no intention of introductions or small talk.
You blinked, taken aback for a few seconds. âI-...what?â
âYeah,â he continued, sitting up a bit as he waved a hand at your upright posture. âWeâre off the court. Y'know, you can relax, right?â
You stared, completely thrown off by his audacity. Who starts a conversation like that? And how do you even reply to that? You didnât even know him well, yet here he was already challenging you. Your lips broke into an awkward, tight line as your mouth was still agape, trying to find words to respond - not that you needed to, it seemed like Ben had more to tease you about, clearly enjoying your confusion with a wider, gummy smile.
âDonât tell me you play tennis like this too, all tight 'n rigid. That's so boring.â
It took a moment, but when you finally brought your eyes up to his, you burst out laughing. His nerve! âYou did not just say that,â you managed between giggles, shaking your head in disbelief. âMy tennis form? Really? You want to talk about form and play?â
He shrugged, not even a little apologetic, enjoying the riffing as his feet rested against the coffee table filling the gap between you two. âJust sayin' loosen up. This isnât a press conference. I mean, d'you even know how to slouch?â
You shot him a playful, mock-serious look, tucking a strand behind your ear as you leaned forward, your arms resting on your folded legs. âI can slouch.â
His eyebrows shot up in mock surprise, folding his arms over his chest. âOh yeah? Prove it.â
You paused, narrowing your eyes at him in a challenge. Slowly, way more dramatically than necessary, you leaned back in your chair, gently scooting down an inch on the chair, still keeping your legs crossed but allowing just enough of a slouch to break your normally perfect posture. You looked more uncomfortable than anything, your back now curved, while every other inch of your body remained proper.
Ben snorted, shaking his head, eyes gleaming with amusement. âWowwww,â he said, barely holding back a laugh. âLook at you. A real rebel huh?â
You rolled your eyes, bringing yourself back up to sit properly, but couldnât stop the smile tugging at your lips. âIâm not trying to impress you, you know.â
âOh?â he cocked his head to the side like a puppy, his grin turning into something softer. âToo late. You already have.â
Your heart skipped a beat, his words catching you completely off guard. There was something about the way he said it, teasing, but with an undertone that made butterflies dance in your stomach and your skin buzz. You found yourself opening your mouth to respond, but just like the other attempts, nothing came out. You just stared at him, feeling completely disarmed by his effortless charm. He didnât push, just grinned and waited, like he was used to leaving people speechless.
How much confidence could a guy have, and how could he play it off so casually that you don't even mind it?
And in that moment, there was no awkward silence, no need for formalities. Just easy, unexpected banter that flowed naturally and lingered in your mind for longer than you'd like to admit. It wasnât what youâd expected from someone like Ben, but somehow, it felt right. He opened a side of you within a few conversations, a side that took years of coaxing from some of your closest friends. You couldn't even explain it, for everything you both were and were not, somehow ying and yang, a mountain and a streaming river, you were opposites and yet fit together like a landscape. Heâd broken through your perfectly composed exterior, making you laugh and talk without even trying, and for some reason, you didnât mind at all.
And now here you are, present day, strolling through an Australian mall at midday, looking the ever-polar opposites.
You strode in your knitted cardigan top and straight-leg pants while Ben towered over in a casual t-shirt and his signature stupidly short black shorts. Your arm was casually linked with Benâs, your steps in sync like this was second nature. It wasnât unusual for you two to walk like this; in fact, it would be strange if you didnât. Over time as you both got to know each other, it had started as a joke but became a habit, something along the lines of Ben not wanting you to get "swept away by the crowds". You shared this easy closeness, the kind that people would easily mistake for a couple, but it was just the way you were.
Or at least, thatâs what you told yourselves.
âHey,â Benâs voice interrupted your thoughts. You blinked, realising he was watching you, that knowing grin pulling at the corner of his mouth. His finger was pointing at a poster right beside a warm small shop.
âDidnât you mention that necklace before on call a while ago? Wanna go in and have a look?â
You shook your head, brushing it off. âOh, no, I was just-â
Before you could finish, he was already steering you toward the small store, his hand warm on your shoulder. âCâmon, just looking, right? Besides, you need to get somethin' while we're here. Not like you can't afford it.â He flashed you a wink that made your stomach flip.
The two of you stepped into the warm-lit shop, drawing a few amused glances from the few other customers and the shop assistant. It only really occurred just odd you two looked, Ben in his usual casual attire, slouched with his hands in his pockets, striding while examining the glass displays and you, neat and polished, hands folded and shy.
Ben leaned close, glancing over the cases as if he actually knew what he was looking at. âSo youâre gonna match with me and get one of those silver chains, right?â He tugged at his thick metal chain with a smirk, raising an eyebrow at you.
You rolled your eyes, fighting back a smile. âYeah, Ben, because that would look so âme,â right?â
He snorted. âWhat, scared of a little edge? Imagine the next headline: âGood Girl Gone Badâ â
âOr,â you retorted, arching a brow, âit could just read âWTA Pro Loses It With a Clear Cry for Help.ââ
He chuckled, his laugh low and genuinely amused. But then his expression softened as he caught sight of the delicate rose-gold necklace youâd been admiring. âAlright, alright. Letâs see the one youâre actually into.â
You glanced at him, surprised he remembered the specific piece. And the next thing you knew, he had the case brought out by the sales assistant. The delicate rose gold chain necklace with its beautifully intricate pendant sat in front of you. It wasn't long before the cool metal met your fingers as you gently hauled it out from its bed and into your hands, your breath hitching as you studied it dozens of times, trying to engrave it into your memory. Before you could think twice, you broke your trance and handed it to him.
âHelp me put it on?â
Benâs brows shot up, but he didnât hesitate. âTurning this into a whole trust exercise, huh?â
âShut up,â you muttered, turning around and sweeping your hair aside.
âTurn around,â he said, his voice quiet with a flutter of nervousness.
Obediently, you turned, holding your hair up and out of the way, feeling his hands slip around to clasp the necklace at the back of your neck. His fingers brushed your skin, surprisingly gently, and suddenly it was hard to focus on anything else but the feel of his hands there. His fingers trembled ever so slightly, his large digits fiddling with the small dainty clasp. You couldn't help but feel hyper-aware of his touch as you let out a small gasp, only for you to hear; the way he just barely grazed your neck for fleeting milliseconds, how his breath was ghosting over your ear in steady, focused breaths, how his tongue stuck out ever so slightly as he focused, his eyes honed in on getting this one thing right just for you - it was far too much.
You swallowed, realising this was the first time heâd ever been this close in this way, this⊠tender. A part of you wanted to step forward, break the tension, take the necklace and put it on yourself, the burning, buzzing sensation being oh so overwhelming to the point where it felt you might evaporate on this spot, right here right now. But realistically even if you really wanted to, you couldn't force or make yourself move, the feeling was like a drug, coursing through you and this was your euphoria, your high, something you hadn't felt in a long time, or maybe ever and you had no intention of cutting it short.
You gently bring your gaze up from your shoes, to the mirror and stare at him, running your eyes over his face. It's just a necklace, he's just helping you, c'mon get it together!
âThere,â he said, his voice barely above a whisper, and you felt the clasp fall onto your skin. But he didnât step back right away. His fingers trailed down, skimming the nape of your neck, and for a second you thought - no, you knew - he was about to say something else, he took a sharp intake but then hesitated and remained in his silence. You look up in the mirror, seeing him still staring at your neck, and your hair, slowly meeting your eyes in the mirror before he realises he's been caught. He stepped back, his familiar grin slipping back into place, and the moment passed like a puff of smoke.
âHow does it look?â you asked, your voice barely above a whisper, breaking free from the dizzy haze you've created in your head.
âLooks good,â he said lightly, and you hated the way your heart twisted at the easy casualness of his tone. He flashed you that infuriating smile, the one that made you both want to slap him and pull him closer at the same time.
âYeah,â you said, your voice tight, almost irritated that you felt this intense pull that didn't seem to affect him nearly as much as it affected you. âThanks.â
Your hand delicately took the pendant between your fingers, toying with it as you both stared at each other in the mirror entranced for a few moments, something shifting. You turned back to the display, focusing hard on the jewellery cases even though you could still feel the phantom warmth of his hands on your skin. You forced yourself to breathe evenly, to ignore the way your heart was racing, to pretend like everything was fine.
But as you looked at your reflection in the storeâs mirror, the delicate gold resting against your collarbone, you couldnât help but wonder if he knew, if he could feel it, too. The slow, insidious shift between you, the way everything had started to mean something when it was supposed to mean nothing at all. It wasn't the first time that Ben had done or said something that froze you, but it seems as though every encounter grows in its intensity, and worse, builds more confusion and haze inside of you.
âGuess that means youâre getting it, right?â
You gave him a shy smile breaking from your thoughts, turning around on your heel, still feeling the heat lingering on your neck. âI⊠think I might.â
As you admired the necklace in your hands, Ben flashed you a grin and excused himself, slipping off towards the main counter. You assumed he was just idly browsing or looking for something to keep him occupied while you made your decision. But when you turned to check on him, you saw him whispering something to the cashier, glancing over at you with a suspiciously wide grin.
You squinted, realising too late what he was up to. Just as you started toward him, the assistant whoâd been helping you gently tapped your shoulder.
âMiss?â she said, her voice sweet but carefully practised. âWe actually just got a similar collection of rose-gold necklaces in. You might want to take a look.â
You shot her a polite smile, still watching Ben out of the corner of your eye. âOh, I think Iâve found the one-â
But Ben was already flashing his card to the cashier, sending you a playful wink and sticking his tongue out between his smile, before your assistant intercepted you again with a dazzling necklace display. By the time you returned to the counter, Ben was leaning casually, arms crossed, the structured paper bag already in his hand.
âBen!â you hissed, reaching for it.
He laughed, holding it just out of your reach as he leaned in, his grin bordering on smug. âYou donât remember mentioninâ it twice, right?â he drawled, dripping with his usual playful tone, the same one that had you engaged from the day you first met. âCouldnât risk lettinâ ya walk away from somethinâ you actually like.â
You smacked his arm lightly, only making him laugh more as he ducked away, looping his arm casually around your waist to draw you into a side hug. The warmth of his touch lingered, his hand resting comfortably at your hip. It was the sort of touch that shouldâve felt natural by now, but somehow, it left you flustered. He was supposed to be the loud, obnoxious friend who made everyone laugh. So why did it feel like every touch, every sideways glance in your direction, especially today, held a weight that left you breathless? You hated that it was him, the one person you thought youâd never lose your cool around, who could make your composure slip so effortlessly.
âDonât go gettinâ all mad,â he said, that easy grin still in place, his accent softening in a way that had your stomach fluttering. âItâs just a little token of your winnin's.â
You mumbled something about unfair tactics, even as your hand settled into his. He finally laughed, still holding your bag and chuckling as he looked around the mall. His gaze landed on a clothing shop just ahead, and his face lit up.
âAlright, you got your shiny new necklace. Now youâre helpinâ me pick out a hoodie,â he said, giving you a grin that could only be described as downright cocky. âLetâs see if I can look half as put together as you.â
âFine,â you replied, barely suppressing a smile, âbut don't expect me to return the payment favour, that's on you.â
Ben just laughed, letting you walk in first before he strolled in behind you. âWouldnât dream of it.â
Once inside, Ben beelined for the hoodies, pulling out everything he could get his hands on without checking the tags or sizes. He held up a dark blue one with a shrug, grinning as he tossed it in your direction. âThis oneâs a classic, right? Nice and oversized?â
âBen,â you said, giving him an exasperated look as you held the fabric up, it's nowhere near his size, way too small. âThis wouldnât even fit you like a sleeve. This would be a corset for you. Besides, since when do you need an oversized anything?â
He chuckled, looking down at his broad shoulders and long frame. âPoint taken. Letâs see, youâre gonna have to help me find somethinâ⊠refined. Like me.â
You rolled your eyes, but reached for a khaki cream-coloured hoodie, holding it up in front of him. âThis oneâs got âactually dressed himselfâ written all over it.â
Ben took it from you and pulled it over his head without bothering to even look for the changing rooms, letting it settle over his broad shoulders and across his arms, the fabric fitting perfectly. He adjusted the sleeves, smoothing out a crease as he caught your eye with a playful smirk.
âSo, how do I look? All cleaned up, or just half?â
You stepped closer, straightening the hood and smoothing the fabric across his chest and shoulders. âNot bad,â you said, nodding approvingly. âMaybe the best-dressed youâve ever been for casual attire.â
Ben cleared his throat, a small blush creeping up his neck before he made a funny face at you and pushed your face away with his palm, making you laugh. You reached up and tugged the hood down over his face in response. âStop it! Do you ever act normal?â
From underneath the hood, his face was hidden but the smile in his tone gave him away. âNormal? Câmon, that doesnât sound like me at all.â
He yanked the hood off, reaching for another hoodie, examining a grey one this time. He pulled the cream hoodie up over his head, and just as he tugged it up, you realised his T-shirt was trying to come with it. Without thinking, you reached over and tugged his shirt back down, cheeks warming as he slipped into the hoodie with a cheeky grin.
âGood save,â he said, finally adjusting the fit with a little salute. âNow I really gotta make you my official stylist.â
âOh, if it means I get to stop you from embarrassing yourself in public, Iâll do it,â you replied with a grin.
Ben just rolled his eyes sassily as he watched you inspect the look as he pulled the grey one on. âDonât go givinâ me too many compliments now. Might go straight to my head.â
You laughed, giving his chest a final pat. âIâd say weâve got it just right.â
After a long day of shopping and conversing together, the last thing you needed was more conversation, you couldn't wait to take yourself to your hotel room and sink in everything that had happened and everything that had been felt. As you took your small bags from Ben's hands you stood in the elevator, engrossed in the gossip Ben was subjecting you to, something to do with car dealers. Somewhere along the way, Ben had even pressed the button to your floor himself.
By the time you unlocked your door, it was almost automatic; you turned to face him, assuming heâd say goodbye and let you get some rest. But he strolled right in, still mid-sentence, as if he had every right to be there. You stood in the doorframe, breaking your smile and shaking your head, mouth agape as you realised what just happened.
âBen... did you just follow me into my hotel room?â you asked, crossing your arms as you watched him plop down on your bed like he owned the place.
âPfft,â he scoffed, âdonât flatter yourself. You ainât got nothinâ in here worth followinâ you for - âcept maybe more of that wild fashion sense you got.â He shot you a teasing grin, his eyes flicking over to the small shopping bags youâd set down on the dresser.
You crossed your arms, raising an eyebrow. âOh, so now youâre a fashion critic too? I didnât hear you complaining when I helped you pick out those hoodies.â
He laughed, that easy, familiar sound filling the room, and leaned back, propping himself up on his elbows. âYeah, yeah, yeah. But I still think you coulda gone a little crazier. All that walking around and y' bought tiny, little things like that necklace. Real tame, you know?â
You rolled your eyes, fighting the urge to smile. âItâs called being tasteful, Ben. Not everyone can rock 'big and bold' like you.â
He gave you a mock-offended look, his drawl growing thicker. âWell, we canât all be boring, now can we, darlin'?â
You felt a flicker of something under his words - the teasing words hung in the air longer than you expected, and you felt a jolt of something, nothing you could name, but enough to make you look away first, pretending to busy yourself with the bags again as you cleared your throat.
âRight,â you said, voice light, âbecause youâre the definition of exciting. The guy who almost bought a novelty koala mug for fifty bucks.â
âHey, c'mon now, that mug was a steal,â he shot back, eyes glinting with amusement. âAnd besides, whoâs gonna stop me? You?â
You giggled softly, flopping down beside him on your stomach, your elbow brushing the bedspread as you kept a careful inch of space between you. The gap between you felt electric, buzzing with that familiar charge you both pretended not to notice. âI already did, remember? Iâve saved you so many times from a lifetime of tacky souvenirs. Youâd be drowning in cheap tourist mugs if it werenât for me.â
Benâs face softened, his smirk fading into something almost thoughtful as he rolled onto his side, propping his head up with one hand. âGuess I owe you, then,â he said quietly, his tone lower, like he was sharing a secret.
The room seemed to hold its breath, and you swore the sunlight dimmed just a little, softening the angles of his face. For a heartbeat, you thought he was going to say something more, something that would change everything between you. You caught the scent of his cologne, warm and fresh with a hint of spice, and your eyes flickered down to his lips, wondering if heâd noticed the way youâd frozen like a deer in headlights, caught between teasing and leaning in, unsure if you were daring him or daring yourself.
His gaze dropped, almost imperceptibly, to where your fingers played with the loose thread on the edge of the bedspread, and it was like he saw right through you. The air crackled, the tension stretching out like a taut string, ready to snap making you feel all sorts of woozy. You knew if you moved, if you even breathed too deeply, it would shatter whatever fragile moment this was. He was watching you so closely, noticing everything, the angle of your face, the way your hair fell, the way your breath caught just a little too fast, the tiny smile you couldnât quite hide.
And then he grinned as he caught your smile; a lazy, crooked grin that made your heart skip. The vulnerability in his eyes flickered and was gone, hidden behind that familiar playful charm. It was safer that way, easier to laugh it off than to admit there might be something real between you.
You nudged him gently with your shoulder, letting out a breath you hadnât realised youâd been holding, aching from the sincere moment but almost glad it passed. Almost.
âYou definitely do,â you said, your voice deliberately light.
Ben chuckled, a warm, rumbling sound that made you feel both safe and entirely off-balance. âDeal, you got it. How about some snacks? But, if Iâm buyinâ, you canât go pullinâ that health-nut stuff on me. Itâs gotta be a proper snack run, none of your boring, practical choices.â
âOh, Iâm so there,â you replied, half laughing, half trying to mask the flush that was still heating your cheeks. âJust donât get all whiny if I veto your terrible taste.â
He sat up, giving you a mockingly serious look, his expression exaggeratedly grave. âWhiny? I donât whine. Iâm just... persuasive.â
âSure you are,â you teased, feeling the tension still lingering about in the air.
You reached out to push his shoulder playfully, but he was faster. His hand caught yours, fingers curling around yours in a way that sent a spark racing up your arm. For a second, everything went still, the noise from the street outside faded, and the weight of the bed shifted beneath you, but all you could feel was the heat of his palm against yours.
It was Ben who let go first, his eyes gleaming with that familiar mischievous spark. â9, donât be late,â he said, pushing himself off the bed with a careless grin.
You watched him head for the door, your pulse still racing in your chest. âIâm never late,â you shot back, trying to sound unaffected despite the way your voice wavered, light and teasing.
He paused in the doorway, throwing a look over his shoulder, his eyes softer than usual, almost expectant. âWeâll see about that,â he said with a wink before disappearing into the hallway, leaving you staring at the closed door, still lying on the bed, with a strange, buzzing feeling beneath your skin. You couldn't help but feel the heat rise to your face, your hand on fire from the interaction as you stared around, dumbfounded from the passing moments.
Later that night, you headed to the hotel lobby, the low hum of late-night travellers and the clinking of glass doors filling the space. You spotted Ben before he saw you, leaning casually against a column in a purple hoodie, scrolling through his phone with a barely-there smile tugging at his lips.
He looked up the second the elevator doors opened, and whatever heâd been expecting, it wasnât you in a simple top with the sleeves pushed up and cargo pants, like you were trying too hard to look like you werenât trying at all.
His eyebrows lifted, a grin spreading slow and wide. âThatâs what youâre wearinâ?â he said, not even bothering to hide his amusement.
You scoffed, furrowing your brows, shoving your hands in your pockets before muttering, âYeah... whatâs wrong with it?â
He rolled his eyes, but you caught the way they softened, something playful and gentle mingling with the mischief. Without saying a word, he dug into his bag and pulled out a well-worn hoodie, its cuffs fraying slightly and the colour slightly faded from too many washes. âHere,â he said, thrusting it at you. âYouâre not goinâ anywhere with me like that.â
You gave him a long, unamused stare. âSeriously?â
âSeriously,â he shot back, voice dropping lower, teasing. âDonât make me beg.â
You snatched the hoodie from him with a huff, feeling a warmth that had nothing to do with the fabric as you slipped it over your head. It was massive, swallowing you whole, the sleeves dangling well past your hands. You tugged at the cuffs, rolling them up clumsily and folding the bottom into your waistband so it didn't completely swallow you up as Ben watched with a satisfied smirk.
âBetter,â he declared, like heâd personally fixed a crisis.
âHappy now?â you asked, your voice sharper than youâd intended, but you couldnât help the way your heart picked up speed when he looked at you like that like you were more than just some friend he dragged along on a whim.
He just grinned and nodded. âLetâs go.â
The grocery store was nearly empty, the white-lit aisles stretching out like pathways to nowhere. The two of you wandered slowly at first, examining small differences side by side, until you found yourselves in the snack aisle, surrounded by walls of bright, neon packaging. Ben was in his element, zeroing in on the loudest, most ridiculous options like a kid in a candy store.
He plucked a bag of neon-orange chips from the shelf, shaking it lightly. âAlright,â he said, his tone suddenly all business, âWhatâs your stance on cheese puffs?â
You glanced at the bag and back at him, raising an eyebrow. âThatâs not food, thatâs...radioactive material. Nothing should be that orange.â
He gasped mouth agape before forming a pout, side-eyeing you. âLoud and wrong, but okay...â
You snatched the bag from his hand, tossing it into the cart anyway. âFine. But weâre getting something that wonât kill us on the spot too.â
âOh, here we go,â he groaned, watching as you added a box of granola bars to the mix with a self-satisfied smile. He shook his head, grabbing the cart handle and steering it down the aisle with a flourish.
âYouâre no fun.â
âSomebody has to be the adult,â you said lightly, your shoulder brushing his as you walked.
The cart squeaked slightly as you rounded the corner, stopping to examine a box and before you knew it, Ben had snuck up behind you, his hands on your waist, lifting you off the floor in one swift movement. You barely had time to react before he dropped you, albeit with a slightly abrupt drop, laughing into the cart like it was the most natural thing in the world. You gasped, grabbing at the edges of the cart to steady yourself as he pushed forward, his laughter echoing off the empty shelves.
âBen, what are you doing?â you demanded, half-exasperated, half-laughing as the cart picked up speed.
âShoppinâ!â he said nonchalantly, his voice lilting with barely suppressed giggles. âWhatâs it look like?â
You tried to glare at him, but the sound of his laughter, the way he moved so easily beside you, pulling you into his orbit, made it impossible to be mad. He flipped the hood over your face without warning, almost like payback from your antics earlier and you yelped, fumbling to throw it off your face as he made a dramatic show of spinning the cart around in circles in a wide arc, as if he were doing doughnuts in his car, laughing as you swayed and clung to the sides.
âBen, youâre insane!â you shouted, but it came out more like a giggle, and you knew heâd hear it for what it was; a thrill you couldnât quite hide.
âYeah, but you love it!â he shot back, slowing the cart and landing it to face him, just enough to meet your eyes, the world narrowing down to the space between you. His smile was softer now, more intimate like heâd forgotten you were in a brightly lit grocery store at all.
For a second, you forgot too. Forgot about the shelves stacked high with candy and cereal, the fluorescent lights buzzing overhead as your world came back from spinning and went straight into those puppy-dog brown eyes that always invited you so warmly. It was just him, and the warmth in him, the way he was looking at you like he could see straight through all the walls youâd built up.
Then he blinked, breaking the moment, and you cleared your throat, holding your sides tighter like it was armour. âCâmon,â you said, your voice a little too casual. âWe still need to get some popcorn.â
His smirk returned a flash of teeth and mischief. âOnly if I get to pick.â
âFine,â you said, hopping out of the cart in a not-so-gracious way, almost tripping and falling over before you found your feet, while he squeezed his eyes shut and stifled a laugh. You ignored him and nudged him aside as you led the way, leaving him and the cart behind. âWeâre not getting any of that sugar-loaded nonsense.â
âDeal,â he said easily, falling back into step beside you, close enough that his arm brushed yours with every step as he leaned onto the shopping cart's handle. It was comfortable, this back-and-forth, like a dance youâd both practised without realising.
The rest of the trip was a blur of bright colours and easy laughter, you vetoing his most ridiculous choices and him sneaking them into the cart when he thought you werenât looking. There was something electric in the air, a charge that made you feel light and breathless. Every time your eyes met, it was like the world shrunk just a little more, leaving just the two of you standing there, suspended in a moment that neither of you wanted to end.
By the time you left, the night air was cool and crisp, and the city lights blurred into a haze of gold and blue. You carried your small, modest box of granola bars easily while Ben lugged a full backpack and a crinkling, overstuffed plastic bag of brightly coloured chaos, bumping your shoulder with his as you walked.
âYâknow,â he began, adding a lazy warmth to the night air, âif you think for one second thatâs the last time Iâm gonna put you in a cart, youâre wrong.â
You huffed out a small laugh, shaking your head. âOh yeah? You're planning on carrying me around as part of your personal grocery haul from now on?â
He shot you a playful grin, his smile wide and easy. âMight just make it a habit. You fit in there pretty nice.â
Rolling your eyes, you bumped his arm with yours, but the warmth lingered longer than you expected. âYouâre a menace, you know that?â
âHey, I don't hear nobody complaininâ âbout beinâ chauffeured around,â he shot back, his eyes glimmering in the low streetlights. âAnd donât pretend you didnât love it. Saw you smilinâ the whole way.â
You tried to hide your grin, biting down on your lip. âI was not smiling.â
âSure you werenât,â he said, his voice dipping into a teasing drawl, and you knew he saw right through you. He always did, with that irritating, endearing way of his.
He kept walking, and you fell into an easy stride beside him, the silence that stretched out feeling warm, and comfortable, the kind that made you feel like you didnât need to fill it with words.
As you cross the street, your fingers accidentally brush his for a split second, and you both tense up, the smallest contact sparking between you like static. But he didnât pull away. Instead, he shot you a quick, almost shy smile before looking up at the half-lit sky.
âIâve got an idea,â he said suddenly as if the thought had just hit him. âThereâs this cafĂ© I saw online, right? Said theyâve got the best breakfast sandwiches in Australia. And it's like, a 15-minute walk from the hotel.â
You raised an eyebrow, amused. âYeah? And what, youâre planning to drag me out of bed before dawn just to try a sandwich?â
âExactly! You read my mind!â he yelped excitedly without missing a beat, clearly not hearing your sarcasm. âWeâll beat the crowd! No lines, best seat in the house. Plus,â he added with a wink, âyou look like you could use a proper breakfast after that grocery store workout.â
You gave him a sceptical look, though a smile tugged at your lips. âFine. But if itâs some overhyped, greasy thing, you owe me.â
âIâll take that bet,â he said, flashing that confident grin that made it impossible to say no. The walk back to the hotel was quieter, the playful back-and-forth giving way to a comfortable, unspoken understanding that neither of you wanted to break. After many attempts at trying to close the door on Ben only to be interrupted by "Wait, one last thing before I go"'s and many, many awful jokes, you finally found yourself drained as you collapsed onto your bed. You quickly set a reminder for his ridiculous plan, and a dreadful 5am alarm was made, leaving you with not nearly enough time to rest after the day's antics.
The alarm dragged you out of a deep sleep way too soon, feeling like you had just fallen into slumber. You groaned, fumbling to silence it, barely managing to swing your legs over the side of the bed before realising you were still wrapped in Benâs hoodie, the fabric heavy and warm, smelling of cologne and well, him. Blinking blearily, you forced yourself to move, your mind foggy with sleep, the hotel room still wrapped in low shadow. The chill of the early hour made you pull the hoodie tighter around yourself, the soft material a comfort against the cold.
When you finally stumbled downstairs to the lobby, he was already there, leaning casually against the doorframe, one hand shoved into his pocket, the other holding a steaming ceramic cup of coffee. He looked up at the sound of your footsteps, and you noticed the way his eyes went wide for a second before he quickly masked it with a crooked smile. His hair was messy, and he looked like he hadnât been awake for long, but the sight of him made your chest feel oddly light. You were still half-asleep, your hair barely brushed, eyes slightly open, and wearing his hoodie like it was a shield against the early morning chill.
"Hey, sleepyhead," he said, his voice rough and deep with sleep, the sound of it washing over you like a warm wave. There was a hitch in his tone, something unsteady and unguarded, and it made your stomach flutter in a way you couldnât quite explain. "You look... cozy."
You tried to rub the sleep from your eyes, barely registering his words. âWhat?â you mumbled, blinking up at him.
The lights in the lobby were harsh, making you squint, and you fumbled with the hood, pushing it back slightly. Your fingers felt clumsy, too heavy, and you knew you looked a mess. No makeup, hair lazily brushed, the sleeves of his hoodie falling over your hands like a second blanket.
His gaze lingered, and he cleared his throat, glancing away quickly like heâd seen something he shouldnât. âI, uh... youâre wearinâ my hoodie,â he said, a slow smile tugging at his lips despite the awkwardness in his voice.
âDidnât think youâd be, yâknow, sleepinâ in it.â
Your cheeks warmed, and you shrugged, still too groggy to care much. âItâs comfortable,â you muttered, your voice muffled with sleep. âI just⊠forgot to take it off.â
He was quiet for a beat too long like he was turning your words over in his mind, and you noticed the way he was looking at you, really looking, like he was seeing something he hadnât expected. You wanted to say something, to break the strange heaviness of the moment, but your brain felt slow and thick with exhaustion, and all you could do was yawn and shift your weight from one foot to the other.
âYeah?â he asked, his voice softer, a bit hesitant, like he wasnât sure if he should keep pushing. His eyes were bright despite the early hour, lingering on the way his hoodie hung loose on your frame, the oversized fabric almost swallowing you. âWell, it... looks good on you. Real good.â
You ducked your head, a sleepy laugh escaping your lips, trying to ignore the way your heart skipped at his words. âIâm sure it does, c'mon let's get going if we want to beat the queue or whatever,â you teased, though there was no bite behind it. You didnât have the energy for anything but honesty, and you were still caught up in the warmth of his hoodie, the way it felt like a shield against the morning chill.
His grin softened, and he rubbed the back of his neck, looking suddenly self-conscious. âNah, I mean it,â he said, his drawl slow and unsteady. âDidnât know youâd make my old thing look that good.â
You shrugged again, feeling your face flush as you ducked your chin deeper into the collar of the hoodie. âGuess Iâll take that as a compliment,â you said, your voice barely above a whisper, your eyes still half-closed, struggling to focus in the dim lighting.
âYeah, you should,â he said, the words coming out a little too fast like he couldnât quite control the way they slipped out. He was still watching you, his gaze almost tender, his usual confidence faltering in the face of your sleepy vulnerability.
You felt an odd sensation bloom in your chest. Something soft and unsteady, and you werenât sure if it was the early hour, his deep, sleep-rough voice, or the way he couldnât seem to look away from you. You fumbled to roll up the too-long sleeves, your fingers barely managing to fold the fabric back, and Benâs gaze followed the movement, his eyes flickering with something you couldnât quite name.
He hesitated, then stepped closer, his movements careful and unhurried, like he was testing the boundaries of whatever this was between you. He lifted his coffee cup, its warmth radiating outwards as he held it just inches from your face. âHere,â he offered his voice still that deep morning rumble that made your stomach twist. âYou look like you could use this more than I do.â
Ben handed you the mug, and as you took a sip, your fingers barely brushed his, such a small, fleeting touch that it might as well have been an accident. But the warmth of it lingered, and Benâs eyes, still sleepy but more awake than yours, didnât stray from your face. You were too groggy to notice as you took a deep gulp of the warm coffee. It was rich and comforting, exactly what you needed to get moving, and you barely caught the way Ben's gaze softened as you closed your eyes and sighed contentedly.
You held the mug back out to him, half-smiling as you blinked against the morning light spilling through the windows. âOkay, I'll admit, itâs good,â you admitted, handing it over with a sleepy grin.
Ben grinned back, his tone suddenly lighter as he accepted the mug again. âMhm, damn right,â his drawl thick in the early hour, the kind that always made you feel just a bit more awake than you were ready for. His voice was deep, still rough from sleep, and you felt a strange flutter at the sound of it, so different from his usual light-hearted teasing. He looked like he wanted to add something further, but instead, he raised the mug to his lips, pausing for the briefest moment before taking a sip from the exact spot where your mouth had just been.
âLetâs go,â he said softly, his voice a little rough, almost hesitant, and you nodded, letting him lead the way out into the slowly illuminating streets.
The walk to the cafĂ© was quiet, but it was a different kind of quiet now, one that felt heavy with things left unsaid, with the strange intimacy of the moment lingering between you like a secret. Your footsteps echoed against the pavement, and you felt more awake with each step, the chilly air biting at your face and the faint light from the rising sun glinting off the windows above. Ben was walking a little too close, his arm brushing yours every now and then, and you noticed the way he kept sneaking glances at you as if he was trying to memorise every detail, the way his hoodie pooled around your hips, the faint shadow of sleep still lingering in your eyes and on your pouted lips, the way you hadnât bothered to fix your hair or hide the bare honesty of your face.
âDon't think Iâve ever seen you this early before,â he said suddenly, his voice breaking the silence, low and rumbling like distant thunder. âNo makeup, no fancy clothes. Just... I don't know, man, just you.â
You looked up at him, squinting a little against the first light of dawn, and tried to muster up some kind of retort, but all you could manage was a half-hearted, sleepy smile. âDisappointed?â you teased, your voice barely above a whisper.
âNot even a little,â he said, and the sincerity in his voice hit you like a punch to the gut. He smiled, the edges of his mouth curling up in that familiar way that made your heart skip, and you found yourself smiling back without even realising it, feeling lighter and warmer than you had in a long time.
The two of you arrived at the café, footsteps slowing as you got closer. But when you reached the door, your heart sank. Not a single person lined up. The café was dark, the interior shrouded in shadows, and there, taped to the inside of the window, was a handwritten sign that read: Closed. Opens at 7 AM.
You blinked at it, still half-asleep, your shoulders slumping as disappointment settled in. âBen,â you dragged a hand over your face before narrowing your eyes at him, âyouâre telling me I couldâve slept for two more hours? I thought it'd be open sooner!â
âHey, who needs sleep?â he said, shrugging without a hint of regret. He gestured to the empty curb across the street with a grin. âCâmon. Letâs sit it out. Iâll make the time fly right by.â
You rolled your eyes but couldnât help the small smile tugging at your lips. Despite the chill in the early-morning air, you settled beside him on the curb, arms wrapped tightly around yourself as you rested your chin atop your knees. The street was quiet in the way only early morning can be, just the two of you and the distant hum of a waking city.
Ben stretched his long legs out in front of him like he owned the street. There was something so easy about sitting there with him in the silence, the air crisp and the sky just beginning to lighten with the first hints of dawn. You watched the horizon, focusing on the deepening shades of indigo and pale gold, the familiar comfort of the city awakening inch by inch. It was strange how easy it was to be around him, how your guard dropped without you even noticing. His presence was effortless, and the way his eyes rested on you every now and then, like you were someone worth seeing, made you feel something you didnât quite want to name yet.
âYou know,â he murmured, a hint of his usual humour in his tone, âyouâre not half bad at relaxinâ after all.â
You shot him a soft glare, lips twitching. âAre you trying to say Iâm fun?â
âHmm...Iâd say a little more than fun,â he replied, his smile widening. âBut letâs just leave it at that for now. At least no oneâs in line, so weâll get the best seat in the house when they do openâ He glanced over to you as he leaned back on his palms.
You chuckled, glancing at the empty street. The entire street was silent, just the two of you in the quiet stillness of dawn. You relaxed a little, sinking further into the oversized hoodie that smelled like him, comforting and familiar.
After a while, he nudged you with his shoulder, his eyes up to the sky but his voice low. âYou ever notice how I always seem to get you roped into these side quests of mine?â he asked, a hint of a smirk tugging at his lips. âErrands, random snack runs, you name it.â
You shot him a sideways glance, fighting back a smirk. âOh, Iâve noticed. You have a knack for it, Ben. Youâre lucky I can keep up. You nominated me for laundry duty last week too.â
He let his head back with a laugh. âWell, youâre good at it.â
You rolled your eyes, unable to help the smile that pulled at your lips. âOr maybe youâre just lazy.â
âNah, itâs âcause youâre the only person whoâll actually come along for the ride,â he admitted, his gaze settling on you with a softness that made your heart skip. âAnyway⊠why donât you ever bring a boyfriend along on one of these little errands? Not like you're short on admirers.â
His question caught you off guard, and you looked away, staring out at the sunrise as your thoughts turned inward. It was a topic you rarely touched, one you hadnât even realised youâd been avoiding until now.âI donât know,â you said softly, your voice distant and hesitant. âI guess, maybe⊠itâs just easier this way?â
âNo one special youâre hiding from me, huh?â Benâs tone was gentle, almost teasing, but his eyes held a genuine curiosity. He wanted to understand.
You swallowed, feeling a lump form in your throat. This was a part of yourself you rarely shared, a shadow youâd kept hidden for a long time. But the stillness of the morning and the warmth in his gaze tugged at something deep inside. âThere was someone,â you admitted, barely above a whisper. âA while ago.â
He didnât say anything, just watched you, the usual teasing gone, replaced by quiet patience.
âHe... he liked that I had my life together, y'know? Like I was this 'go-getter,' always calm and composed,â you said, slowly letting the words surface. âOr at least, thatâs what he told me. He said he liked that I wasnât flashy and that I didnât draw too much attention to myself. I think he appreciated my quiet confidence, and how I could go with the flow. Looking back, I think it was because he thought it made me easier to control...â You let out a short, hollow laugh that didnât reach your eyes.
âI didnât even realise when things shifted,â you continued, voice more firm now. âWhen he went from showing genuine interest to making all the decisions. It must've been gradual, but it felt like it just happened one day; I donât know when it started. Suddenly, he was calling all the shots, and I thought I was just being a good partner. Compromising. Making space for him. Letting him be himself. But I didnât see that, bit by bit, I was putting myself away.â
Benâs jaw tightened, but he remained silent, his attention urging you to go on.
âHeâd ignore my texts for hours, sometimes days, and then act like I was overreacting when I brought it up. But God forbid I missed one of his calls during training or when I was away on tour. If I couldnât stay up late to talk, heâd make it into a huge deal. Weâd set times to call, but heâd never follow throughâand always with some lame excuse.â
You paused, drawing a deep breath, eyes fixed on a point in the distance.
âAnd then there were the arguments,â you said, voice tightening. âAbout the most impossible thingsâlike how I didnât spend enough time with him. How could I when I was half a world away? Or how my career always came first. He said I was boring, that I wasnât spontaneous enough. But whenever I tried to change, there was always something else wrong. No matter what I did, it was never enough.â
Benâs expression darkened, a flicker of frustration tightening the corners of his mouth. His hand was on the curb next to yours, close enough that you could feel the warmth of his skinâgrounding you.
âMaybe he was jealous,â you said, the words almost to yourself. âThatâs what my mom said. Jealous of my success, or of the fact that I had something I loved that wasnât about him. He knew exactly how to make me feel small. Every victory, every career milestone, heâd twist it, make me feel like I was failing him. Like I was always letting him down. I thought... if I could just balance it all if I could make him happy, heâd love me the way I needed. But honestly? I donât even know what I needed anymore, not when he was the one telling me how to feel.â
You swallowed, the bitterness of those memories heavy on your tongue.
âNo matter how much I shifted or tried to be the girl he wanted, it was never enough. There was always another criticism, another reason why I wasnât good enough. I was too selfish, too focused on my career, too indecisive, too... everything. And I believed him. I thought I was the problem. That I just couldnât make him happy.â
A light breeze swept through the street, and you wrapped your arms around yourself, pulling your knees close as if to shield yourself from the weight of those memories.
âHe was... God, Ben, you should've heard him. He was so relentless when he wanted to be. It felt like every part of my life was under a microscope, every single decision, every single choice; it was all wrong. All the things I loved, the things that made me proud, they just started to fade away, like theyâd been drained of colour.â
Your voice cracked slightly, but you pushed on, finding strength in the words youâd never fully voiced before.
âI started to lose myself in a spiral. Everything felt so ... grey, so heavy like I was wading through water. I thought... isnât this what relationships are? Compromise, sacrifice, working through the rough patches? Thatâs what I kept telling myself. I thought if I just tried harder, if I carried the weight for both of us, then maybe heâd be happy again, like how he was in the beginning. But I started wondering if I was even cut out for love. I mean, what does it even mean to love someone, really? All I knew was that I kept losing myself in the process, and it still wasnât nearly enough.â
You exhaled, as the quiet of the morning felt almost too peaceful, the faint chirping of birds contrasting with the heaviness of what you were saying.
âAnd then he cheated,â you continued, your voice flat. âWhen I found out, he didnât even try to deny it. He just looked at me, fatigued, and was like, âWhat did you expect with the way you treat me? Donât be so naive.â But you know what?â
You paused, a strange light creeping into your voice.
âIt was almost a relief. Him cheating... it was my way out. For the first time, I had a solid, undeniable reason to leave. I didnât have to keep convincing myself that I needed to try harder, or that it was all my fault.â
Your voice softened, carrying vulnerability.
âI donât even know if I ever really loved him, or maybe, I don't know how to love. Maybe I just loved the idea of being loved or being enough for someone. But the truth is, I donât think I even know what love is supposed to feel like. I gave everything I had, and it still wasnât right, I felt so drained like a vampire had me. Maybe Iâve never felt real love, or maybe... maybe Iâm just not meant for it.â
Benâs silence was heavy beside you, his gaze unwavering, but you couldnât bring yourself to meet his eyes. The shame and rawness of your words made your throat tighten, but you kept going.
âI stayed until I had nothing left to give until I got cheated on, and even then, I couldnât tell you why. It was like I was trying to win a game I didnât even understand. And in the end, I realised... I never even had him, not truly. I was always chasing something that wasnât there. It was always a losing game, and I was the only one playing.â
Benâs gaze was steady, the weight of your words hanging between you. Then he spoke, his tone warm and sincere. âYou donât deserve someone treating you like that. Not ever. I-"
He squeezed his eyes closed for a moment before he continued.
"I canât even imagine doin' that to you. Youâre more than enough, you always have been. You donât need to change a single thing for anyone. Man, I like you just the way you are because I know you, and I know youâre worth so much more than what you settled for with that dick.â
A tear slid down your cheek, carrying all the hurt youâd kept buried for so long. You werenât crying, not really, but his words had found their way past all your defences, and something inside you softened and broke open.
âDo you really mean that?â you asked, your voice small, almost scared, your eyes searching his.
Benâs eyes locked onto yours, and something in his expression shifted. For a moment, he seemed almost stunned, his face softening, his features melting with a tenderness that made it hard to breathe. He reached out slowly to cup your face with his hand, as if afraid you might pull away, and when you didnât, he gently wiped the tear from your cheek. His fingers lingered, brushing against your skin with a touch so careful it made your heart ache.
âI mean every word,â he said, his voice low and steady, barely more than a whisper. âI see you, Y/N. Iâve always seen you.â
His words hit you like a wave, and the tears came faster, though still silent. Benâs expression softened even further, and he pulled you into him without hesitation, wrapping a strong arm around you, and holding you close. You pressed your face into his shoulder, feeling the warmth and solid comfort of him, and slowly, you let yourself sink into his embrace. He didnât speak, just rubbed your back in gentle circles, his chin resting on top of your head.
After minutes had passed when the tightness in your chest had started to fade and the early morning warmth grew warmer, you felt him smile against your hair. He pulled back just enough to meet your eyes, and he said with a playful grin, âIf this is all it takes to get a hug outta you, I shouldâve asked sooner.â
You couldnât help it, you let out a small, breathy laugh, rolling your eyes even as you stayed close to him, nestling your head before you lifted it up.
âOh, shut up,â you said, smacking his shoulder lightly. âIf I knew you were gonna use emotional blackmail for free hugs, I wouldâve kept my distance.â
He chuckled, the sound low and comforting, and the warmth of the moment settled between you. You pulled away, wiping your face with the oversized sleeves of his old hoodie, the one that had become yours. The quiet returned, peaceful now, the sun creeping higher in the sky and washing everything in shades of soft orange and pink.
You sat together in silence, shoulder to shoulder, the pain slowly ebbing away as the world woke up around you. There was something different between you now, a shift that neither of you said out loud but both of you felt. For the first time in a long time, you felt a weight lift, and you let yourself relax against him, the silence and small conversation comfortable as you felt relief and warmth flow through you.
By the time the café finally opened, you and Ben had spent two hours huddled together as the sun began to bathe you two, and sharing quiet laughter as the world slowly woke up around you. The anticipation of the legendary breakfast had both of you giddy and a little loopy from the early start, making the time fly by.
But when the doors swung open and you finally got your hands on the much-hyped breakfast sandwiches, reality hit. The sandwiches were mediocre, wayyy too salty and the coffee was disappointingly weak. The "famous" breakfast sandwiches that Benâs TikTok video had promised would be life-changing were, frankly, a letdown. Yet, it didnât matter at all.
The two of you slid into a corner booth, expecting to sit across from each other, but Ben surprised you by scooting in right beside you, his thigh pressing lightly against yours. He stretched his legs out under the table, claiming the whole space as his own. You couldnât help but laugh, leaning into his warmth as you sipped your disappointing coffee.
âThis is the most underwhelming breakfast Iâve ever had,â you said, crinkling your nose as you picked at the sandwich.
Ben chuckled, flashing you a mischievous grin. âGuess I owe you a better one, next timeâ he teased, nudging your shoulder with his.
âDamn right, you do,â you shot back with a smirk.
Benâs arm rested casually over the back of the booth, his fingers occasionally brushing your shoulder, sending shivers down your spine. Every small, careless touch, his knee nudging yours, his fingers grazing your hoodie, made it harder to ignore the fluttering in your chest. With each laugh and shared smile, you felt something shifting between you, something that made it impossible to see him as just a friend, especially after being so vulnerable earlier.
As the cafĂ© started to fill with the morning crowd, you remained on the same side of the booth, your legs tangled comfortably under the table. There was an easy closeness between you now, a kind of unspoken understanding like you were sharing a secret that only the two of you knew. When he reached over to brush a crumb from your lip as you talked, his fingertips barely grazing your skin, you felt your cheeks heat and words stutter, but you didnât pull away. The sun rose higher, streaming golden light through the cafĂ© windows, and the warmth between you felt softer and more real than any disappointment over a bad breakfast. Benâs presence was grounding, and for the first time in a very long time, you felt genuinely at ease, like the weight of your earlier conversation and all your own personal baggage had lessened, transformed into something lighter by his easy smile and gentle touch.
By the time you both decided to leave, you were still laughing over the overhyped âlegendaryâ breakfast. As you stepped out onto the sun-drenched street, Benâs hand slipped into yours with a light squeeze, like always, as if to say, Iâm still here. Iâve got you. The simple gesture left your skin tingling, and your heart racing just a little faster.
You walked together down the slowly waking street back to the hotel, shoulder to shoulder, arms looped together, a warmth lingering between you that had nothing to do with the sunrise. The world around you was coming alive, but it felt like you were still living in that quiet, private space you'd created in the early morning hours, a small bubble of warmth and closeness that was just yours. Of course, it couldn't last long, not with training and matches coming up alongside personal commitments and whatever else, but having this quiet time together was more than rewarding.
As the cafĂ© faded into the past, so did the warmth of those golden moments, but the echoes lingered. It wasnât just the memory of his hand brushing yours or the way his laugh had chased away the lingering shadows of your conversation. It was the way he lingered, so effortlessly, so relentlessly, in the quiet spaces of your life.
You couldnât stop thinking about him as your tour carried you to different cities. The way his hand had slipped into yours so naturally that morning replayed in your mind at the oddest times: during practice serves, mid-flight naps creeping into your peaceful dreams, even while unpacking yet another suitcase in yet another hotel room. It wasnât like you wanted to be distracted, but Ben was everywhere, his presence stamped into your routine as if heâd always been part of it. And it seemed as though he had no intention of loosening that grip he had on your mind. Calls and messages were frequent as days blurred into one another, conversations that felt simultaneously too much and not nearly enough. Ones that'd have you squealing in bed as you reread over the texts or have you clutching your phone tight minutes after hanging up, savouring the small moments. The banter was still there, as effortless as it was grounding, but now it came with an undercurrent you couldnât name, something unspoken threading its way through the pauses between your words. Ben became a comforting constant amid the chaos. He was always just a call or a text away, his presence a steady anchor even when everything else felt transient. And while you were grateful for the familiarity, it didnât stop the butterflies that erupted every time his name lit up your phone.
Like tonight.
After a gruelling match and a hurried dinner that barely counted as a meal, you finally collapsed onto the hotel bed. The quiet of the room felt foreign after the noise of the day, but it was a relief until your phone buzzed on the nightstand. The call started with Benâs face filling the screen, eyebrows raised and a smirk already in place.
âHey, stranger,â he smiled in a sing-song tone.
âOh, spare me,â you said, rolling your eyes but smiling despite yourself.
" 'Spare me?' â Ben scoffed, kicking back and grinning at the screen. âGirl, youâre acting like youâre the only one with a rough schedule. Whatâve you been up to? Post-match feast, or just a sad granola bar?â
You laughed, shaking your head. âNeither. Quick and quiet dinner after the match, some bland pasta with a wilted salad, the usual. Real glamorous stuff.You already back to your hotel?â
âHours ago,â he said. âCaught the highlights of your match, though. That backhand winner down the line? Chefâs kiss.â He mimed a dramatic kiss to the camera. âYouâre out here stealing the show.â
âPlease,â you said, rolling your eyes, and shrugging. âIt wasnât even my best match. Iâll take a win, though.â
âDonât be modest,â Ben teased. âMeanwhile, my highlights reel was probably just me sweating buckets with my shirt clinging to me and yelling after missing a forehand.â
You smirked. âNah, youâre too busy being âAmericaâs tennis heartthrob.â Iâm sure your fangirls donât even notice the double faults.â
Ben groaned, throwing his head back. âNot this again.â
âOh, come on,â you grinned, teasing him. âTall, built, All-American golden boy? Iâm shocked they havenât made you into a wax figure yet! ATP should get on that, the more I think about it.â
He leaned forward, raising an eyebrow. âIs the golden boy charm working on you?â
You blinked, caught off guard, furrowing your brows. âWhat..? No. Shut up!â
Ben chuckled, clearly enjoying himself. âHey, I was just checking. You're the one who brought it up.â
âYeah, wellâŠâ you said, flustered, fumbling for a comeback. âI mean, I guess itâs a little funny. The way theyâre all obsessed with you, I mean.â
He smirked. âSmooth save.â
âWhatever,â you muttered, looking away. âAt least youâre not lonely on tour. Youâve got Bryan. Built-in travel buddy.â
Ben scrunched his face up. âOh yeah, great idea! Let me just grab dinner with my dad after a match so he can spend two hours lecturing me about footwork and his âgood olâ days.â â
You laughed, before breaking into a pout. âPoor, poor Bryan. He just wants to hang out with his son, and youâre out here running from him.â
âIâm not running,â Ben said defensively. âIâmâŠum, strategically avoiding.â
âSure you are.â
âAnd anyway, no one hereâs like you,â he added, his tone casual but his gaze steady.
That caught you off guard. âYeah-w-what?â
Benâs smirk deepened. âDonât choke now. Whereâs that quick wit of yours?â
âShut it,â you groaned, your face heating up as you pressed your face into the mattress.
âAw, youâre blushing,â he teased, leaning closer to the camera. âCat really got your tongue this time, huh?â
âBen, I swear to God,â you said, groaning and burying your face in your hands and dropping the phone.
He laughed, clearly triumphant. âItâs okay, youâll get me back at the charity doubles event in a few months. Iâm counting on you to carry me.â
âCarry you?â you said, grateful for the change in topic. âI thought you were the unstoppable Ben Shelton. 'Big serves, big shots.â "
âYeah, yeah, but doubles is different,â he said with a shrug. âDoubles is all about teamwork. Iâll take your instructions. Like Federer and Mirka, except, yâknow, cooler.â
You laughed. âCooler? Thatâs a bold claim.â
âWhy not?â he said, spreading his arms wide. âTheyâre classy, theyâre unstoppable, and they look good doing it. Thatâs us, right? Total power couple energy.â
âPower couple?â you echoed, raising an eyebrow.
âOn the court,â he clarified with a wink. âDonât worry, Iâll keep it professional.â
âYouâd better,â you muttered, shaking your head, though you couldnât stop yourself from smiling.
As the call ended and the screen faded to black, you lingered in the quiet of your room, your pulse still racing in the aftermath of his teasing grin. Your fingers traced the necklace at your throat, the metal cool under your touch, but the memory it carried, the warmth of his hands, the way his eyes had softened when he fastened it, made your chest feel full and tight all at once.
You had to admit, Ben Shelton was infuriatingly good at leaving you in this liminal space, caught somewhere between wanting to roll your eyes and wanting to let yourself fall completely into whatever this was becoming.
With a sigh, you pushed yourself off the bed and rifled through your suitcase, finding his hoodie tucked neatly inside. It was a lifeline, an anchor to him when the distance felt like too much. The fabric was soft against your cheek as you hugged it to your chest, his scent faint but unmistakable, as if he were still there, filling the room with his easy laughter and ridiculous charm. It was almost maddening how easily he got under your skin, how his words lingered long after the call had ended, tangling themselves with your thoughts and leaving you guessing.
Was he just being Ben? The not-knowing was intoxicating in its own way, a thrill and torment that made your stomach flutter and your mind race long into the night until you could fall asleep, and even then, he graced your dreams with his warmth that you could never get enough of.
For Ben, the feelings werenât any simpler. He leaned back against his hotel bed, the phone still warm in his hand, the smile heâd worn during the call refusing to fade. You always had this way of leaving him grinning like an idiot, proud of his one-liners that caught you off guard but tonight felt different. He loved catching you off guard, how youâd try to fire back some clever retort only to stammer and fall silent, just like the first time he met you. It wasnât just funny to him; it was endearing, that quiet vulnerability you didnât even seem to notice. And God, you were beautiful, even in that post-match haze, hair damp and face free of makeup, exhaustion softening your edges in a way that only made you look more real, more you. He wished he could've seen you in person; he could stare at you like that for hours and still turn back for a second glimpse, never getting enough.
He sighed, rolling onto his side as his fingers hovered over a photo on his camera roll, the one where you werenât looking, too focused on a menu, brow furrowed like the decision was life or death, another one of you in his car, casually on your phone, followed by another photo and another. He couldnât help it; his chest tightened at the memory of moments like that, the way you made the chaos of his life feel lighter. Then there were the little things: the protein bar with your teasing note that you threw in his bag during a practice one time, or the way you seemed to know exactly when to check in when you could read how he honestly was.
It scared him sometimes, how easily you crept into his thoughts, how much he wanted to be the reason you smiled the way you had tonight. And yet, even as the thought tightened in his chest, Ben smiled again, already counting down the days until heâd see you at the charity event, knowing it just couldn't come sooner.
The atmosphere at the event was electric, a blend of effortless fun and star-studded tennis. Neon lights pulsed along the edges of the court, casting playful shadows on the buzzing crowd as a DJ spun upbeat tracks that thrummed in your chest and made the ground pulse. It was far from a serious tournament, more like a party on a tennis court, where fans and players mingled, indulging in casual games and champagne-laced banter.
You smoothed down your navy skirt, the silky white bow in your hair fluttering lightly as you stepped into the tunnel, the buzz of conversation growing louder. A little blush, a sweep of mascara, and a touch of concealer made you look radiant but understated; the only jewellery you wore was the rose-gold necklace Ben had gotten you, gleaming softly against your collarbones under the venueâs lights.
âReady to dazzle?â another player teased as she passed by, her racket slung lazily over her shoulder. You shot her a grin, zipping up your bag as you mentally prepared for the night ahead. But before you could take another step with your bag now slung over your arm, a hand wrapped gently around your wrist, tugging you back into the shadowed corner of the tunnel.
You turned quickly, your startled expression melting into a mixture of exasperation and amusement when you saw Ben. He was leaning against the wall, grinning like heâd been waiting for this exact moment.
âSubtle as always,â you teased, arching a brow, even as your chest tightened slightly at the sight of him. It had been months, and somehow, he looked the same but different, more confident, more composed, yet just as unmistakably Ben.
He tilted his head, his grin spreading slowly. âWhat can I say? I like to make an entrance.â
âBy sneaking up on me?â you quipped, folding your arms but unable to stop the small smile tugging at your lips.
âBetter than yelling, donât you think?â He pushed off the wall, stepping closer, his presence filling the space between you. For a moment, the noise of the crowd outside felt distant, the thrum of music fading into the background.
He let his eyes roam, taking in the bow in your hair and the soft gleam of the necklace heâd picked out weeks ago. âYou lookâŠâ He trailed off, his voice softer now, tinged with something he wasnât saying. âI mean, wow.â
You felt your cheeks flush, the warmth crawling up your neck as you shifted on your feet. âDonât start, Shelton,â you muttered, though your voice lacked any conviction.
âWhat? Itâs a compliment.â His tone dipped, quiet but teasing, as he leaned just enough for you to catch the faint scent of his cologne. âGuess I forgot how good you clean up...y'know while still bein' all proper.â
You tried for a quick, witty comeback, but the words stumbled and caught in your throat when his eyes met yours again, warm and intent. It was like he saw through the polished image youâd carefully put together for tonight, straight to the version of you he knew best: messy hair, sweat-soaked, exhausted after a match.
âBen...â you started, voice faltering as he smiled.
âMissed this,â he murmured, stepping even closer as he studied your face, his gaze lingering on your lips. âMissed you.â
The simplicity of it hit harder than you expected, your breath catching as he pulled you into a tight hug without hesitation. His arms wrapped around you with a sure, steady strength that made your chest ache, one hand splayed against your upper back, the other resting lightly at your waist, rubbing up and down with his thumb. Your cheek pressed into his shoulder as you let yourself lean in, your arms slipping around him.
You had to stand on your tiptoes to reach him properly, your nose brushing the soft skin of his neck. He smelled faintly of cologne and something clean, and when he bent slightly to press his face against your hair, the warmth of his breath sent a shiver down your spine.
Neither of you said anything at first; the hug lingered just long enough to toe the line between friendly and something more.
âAlright, lovebirds,â a voice called from behind, breaking the moment. You glanced over to see Tommy Paul strolling by with a smirk, holding a tennis racket slung over one shoulder. âSave it for the courts.â
You pulled back quickly, a small laugh spilling out despite yourself. Ben groaned, scrubbing a hand over his face. âIgnore him,â he muttered, his other hand still resting lightly on your waist.
You shook your head, biting back a smile as you looked up at him. âGuess I shouldâve known youâd bring your fan club with you.â
Ben chuckled, his thumb brushing against your side before he let his hand drop. âTheyâre just jealous,â he teased. Then, his grin turned sharper, more mischievous. âBesides, youâre Mirka tonight, remember? That makes me Federer.â
You rolled your eyes, already turning back toward the tunnelâs exit. âThen letâs hope youâre half as good on the court as he is.â
His laugh followed you, rich and unbothered. âCareful, Mirka, I might just have to prove it to you out there.â
You smirked, stepping forward toward the light of the court. âRight. I'll see you out there, Federer.â
Ben chuckled low behind you, the sound carrying as he followed. âBetter bring your A-game, Mirka.â
You both stepped into the event space, the pulse of music and hum of voices a vibrant backdrop. A waiter with a tray of champagne flutes passed by, and Ben grabbed two, handing you one. âFor courage?â he teased, raising a brow.
âOr patience,â you countered with a cheeky smile, clinking your glass against his before taking a sip. The bubbles tickled your throat, a pleasant warmth settling in your chest.
The two of you drifted toward the edge of the court, lingering for a moment to take in the scene. Fans were scattered around, some waving excitedly as they noticed you both, others engrossed in their own games. The energy in the air was contagious.
âYou nervous?â Ben asked, glancing down at you, his shoulder brushing yours as he leaned closer.
You scoffed lightly, tilting your head toward him. âPfft, not even a little. You?â
âOnly about carrying you,â he shot back with a teasing grin.
You laughed, a genuine, carefree sound that had him grinning even wider. âBig talk for someone who hasnât even warmed up yet.â
âOh, donât worry,â he said, taking a sip from his glass, his eyes never leaving yours. âTrust, Iâm plenty warm now.â
The look he gave you was so direct, so warm, it sent a shiver down your spine. For a second, you almost forgot where you were, his gaze holding you in place. Then, with a soft laugh, you shook your head. âCareful, Shelton. I might start to think youâre flirting with me.â
âAnd if I am?â he replied, the corner of his mouth twitching upward.
You didnât answer, the sudden heat in your cheeks making you glance away. But Ben stepped closer, his voice dropping just enough to make your pulse quicken. âYouâre kinda cute when youâre quiet, you know that?â
âIâm not quiet,â you retorted, though the slight stumble in your voice only made his grin deepen.
He shook his head before he got pulled into some conversation, the night stretching out with laughs. It wasn't long before it was your turn on the courts with Ben for mixed doubles with fans. The game was as lighthearted as the crowdâs energy, every point a mix of banter, champagne-fueled laughter, and effortless coordination between you and Ben. You didnât know if it was the bubbly coursing through your veins or just the sheer ease of being around him, but the nerves that usually gripped you on a court had dissolved into something bolder, something exhilarating.
âHey! Didnât know you could slice like that,â Ben teased, coming up beside you after you returned a tricky serve with a clean, low shot. His grin was wide, boyish, and entirely too charming.
âDidnât know you cared enough to notice,â you quipped back, tossing him a look over your shoulder.
His laugh was low, his eyes sparkling under the court lights. âOh, I notice. Donât worry about that.â
You rolled your eyes, but your smile gave you away as he moved to stand closer, his shoulder brushing yours. A fan on the opposite side sent the ball flying long, and you let out a small cheer, reaching up for a high five. His palm smacked yours, but instead of letting go, his fingers lingered, curling slightly against yours to hold your hand in his big one as he leaned down just enough for only you to hear.
âCareful now,â he murmured, his voice dipping, his thumb grazing your palm. âDonât make me think I need to keep you around full-time.â
Your stomach flipped, and you blinked up at him, thrown off by the sudden softness in his tone. âKeep up the compliments, Shelton, and I might start thinking youâre sweet.â
âI can be sweet,â he said, his grin turning a little cocky as he finally released your hand. âBut only when youâre around.â
You were saved from having to respond by the start of the next point, though your heart was far too distracted to focus properly. Ben, however, didnât seem fazed, his energy casual and relaxed as he sent a gentle lob to the next fan on the rotation. Between rallies, he wandered back to your side of the court, resting his hand briefly on the small of your back, rubbing it softly. The touch was fleeting, but it left a trail of warmth in its wake.
As you finished another easy point, Ben jogged toward you. âSo, is this your strategy? Win them over with that slice and then charm me into doing all the work?â
You laughed, spinning your racket in your hand. âOh, puh-lease. Iâm doing most of the carrying here, Ben. Admit it, youâd be lost without me.â
âLost? Nah.â He stepped closer, his voice dropping just a fraction. âDistracted? Definitely.â
Your breath caught, the weight of his gaze lingering longer than it should have. But before you could respond, another cheer from the crowd broke the moment. He stepped back, grinning as though he hadnât just thrown your heart into overdrive.
By the end of the set, the champagne had smoothed the edges of your usual reserve, and the energy between you both crackled with something unspoken but undeniable. When you reached for another high-five after the final point, he caught your hand and tugged gently, pulling you just a step closer this time.
âWe got a nice win,â he murmured, his eyes flicking down to yours.
âMhm, and I got a nice partner,â you replied, the words falling out before you could think better of them.
His grin softened, his hand brushing lightly against your lower back again. âCareful. I might start thinking youâre trying to charm me.â
âAnd if I am?â you shot back, your eyes coy and big as your newfound confidence was fueled by the buzz in your veins and the way he was looking at you as if no one else in the world mattered.
Benâs laughter was warm and rich, a blush spreading across his cheeks that wasn't just from the game. The way his eyes stayed locked on yours said everything. âThen Iâd say itâs working.â
As the event wound down, you and Ben exchanged a few last high-fives with the fans. The laughter and excitement of the crowd hung in the air, but as the noise began to settle, there was a familiar, charged silence between you two. The playful teasing, the flirty glances, it was all still there, but now it had a weight to it as if the evening had somehow shifted to a different gear.
Ben caught up to you as you started to make your way toward the exit, his smile flashing as he fell into step beside you. "So, what do you think?" he asked, voice low and teasing. "Pizza? Just us? The rest are going to a restaurant downtown, but I thought we could hang out n' catch up."
You raised an eyebrow, the suggestion making your heart skip a beat. There was something about the idea of more time with him, just the two of you, that sent a rush through your chest. âPizza?â you repeated, the buzz from the champagne still swirling inside you, but now mixing with a touch of curiosity. âAfter all that, you want to drag me to some random pizza joint?â
Ben grinned, his eyes full of mischief. "It's not random. Itâs a little hidden gem, just a few blocks away. Trust me, it's worth it. You wonât find better pizza around here, Ben approved.â
You glanced at him, your internal struggle between teasing him and playing it cool warring inside you. There was something in the way he said it, an undeniable charm in his voice that made you want to go. The idea of quiet, easy conversation with him, without the crowd, the friends and the noise, felt too good to pass up.
"Alright, fine," you said, rolling your eyes but giving in. "But if this place turns out to be some dive with soggy crust, Iâm blaming you.â
Ben laughed, his grin widening. âDeal. Youâll love it, though. I wouldnât steer you wrong.â
The two of you began walking down the street, and the air between you seemed to settle into something new, something more intimate. The world around you felt quieter now, each step taking you farther from the noise of the event and closer to something more personal. With every step, the liquid courage from the champagne seemed to melt away, leaving behind a fluttery, almost nervous feeling in your chest. Maybe it was the lingering heat from the flirting, or maybe it was just that you were walking with him, alone.
âSo,â you asked, trying to keep it light, but your curiosity bubbled through, âhow many people do you drag to these random pizza spots, Ben?â
He chuckled at that, his eyes flicking over to you for a brief moment, amused. âHonestly? Not many. Youâre the first one, I think.â
You raised an eyebrow, surprised. âReally? Iâm the first person youâve brought here?â
Ben shrugged casually, his grin widening with the playfulness that was so typical of him. âI donât usually do this kind of thing. But when I find a place this good, I kinda want to share it with someone who'd 'ppreciate it, someone who's... worth it.â
His words hung in the air, and for a split second, everything between you seemed to be still. You could feel the warmth in your chest, the closeness between you suddenly feeling charged. You fought the urge to let it show, instead meeting his gaze with a playful grin.
âWell, lucky me, huh?â
âLucky you,â Ben echoed, and his voice softened just enough that you noticed. He turned slightly toward you, his pace matching yours, steady and relaxed.
By the time you reached the pizza place, the small talk had faded into a comfortable silence, both of you still trying to make sense of whatever was happening between you. You hadnât crossed any line yet, but with every moment, it felt more inevitable that something was to change. As you walked inside the tiny pizzeria, the smell of fresh baked goods hit you immediately. The cozy, intimate atmosphere felt like a world away from the high-energy chaos of the event. Ben led you to the counter, and even though the tension between you was still palpable, it had shifted. It was no longer the playful, teasing kind of tension, it was something else. Something unspoken, but undeniable.
You had no idea where this was heading, but with Ben by your side, you were curious to find out.
You walk back toward the venue, the buzz of the event now a distant memory, stomachs full from the pizza that somehow tasted better than it had any right to. The tiny pizzeria, tucked away in a quiet corner, had been the perfect escape. The laughter that had flowed freely while you ate had washed away the tension and the drunken buzz that had clung to you both all night. It had been easy, lighthearted, comfortable, like nothing had changed, even though everything had.
As the two of you strolled back under the glow of the streetlights, a comfortable silence settled between you. The air was cool, a light breeze weaving through the night. The only sound was the rhythm of your shoes on the pavement. Yet, inside, you both felt the weight of what hadnât been said.
Benâs hands were stuffed in his pockets as he kept pace with you, his easy stride matching yours. But something had shifted in him, his smile softer, his eyes more attentive as he glanced at you. âYou look really good tonight, you know that?â
You laughed lightly, rolling your eyes as you shook your head. âBen, you keep saying that,â you teased, âWhatâs the deal with you tonight? You want something?â
He grinned, his eyes crinkling at the corners, genuine and unguarded. âNah, I'm just sayin' 'cause itâs true,â he said, a slight shrug of his shoulders. âI donât say things I donât mean.â
Your stomach fluttered, the compliment hitting you harder than you expected. Youâd heard him say things like that before, but tonight? There was something different in the way he said it. Something quieter, more sincere.
âOkay, okay,â you said with a grin, trying to mask the effect his words had on you. âI get it, I look good. Thank you.â You laughed at yourself, but Benâs gaze never wavered from you.
Ben chuckled, his tone light but steady. âI mean it,â he repeated softly, then added, âAnd that necklace we got... Itâs perfect for you, made for you. Looks really good on you.â
You touched the pendant on the necklace, the one he had picked out for you earlier, and it felt foreign now. Warmer, more meaningful, like it was holding a piece of the night with it. âI think youâre just saying that to flatter me,â you teased.
âIâm not,â he said seriously, his voice dropping slightly. âYou really do look good. I mean youâve always looked good, but tonight... I dunno, itâs sumn' else.â
You caught the sincerity in his words, and your heart thumped a little harder. Ben, usually the jokester, was being serious now. âWell,â you said, your voice almost breathless, âThank you. Iâll take it.â
He smiled, a playful glint in his eyes still there, but it was softer. âOf course.â
There was a long pause as you walked side by side. The cityâs lights flickered around you, the hum of the night settling into a comfortable silence. But then, something shifted. You couldnât keep it in any longer.
âSo, BenâŠâ you started, your voice tentative. âAre you like this with every girl you meet?â
His stride faltered for just a second, and he turned to look at you, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. âWhat do you mean, like âthisâ?â
âFlirty,â you let out a breath at your boldness, a teasing edge in your voice. âLike making everyone feel like theyâre the only one. Are you always so... charming?â You paused, gathering your courage. âYou do this with every girl?â
Ben stopped walking, his hands sliding out of his pockets as he processed your words. He tilted his head, studying your face before shaking his head.
âWhat girl do I have around me or talk to, besides you, Emma and my mom?â His voice was calm, but there was an honesty in it that made your chest tighten. âYouâre the only girl I ever talk to like this, spend time with. So no, not every girl.â
You blinked, surprised. âWait, really?â
âYeah, really.â He looked at you like you were asking the most obvious question. âYou think Iâm like this with every girl I meet? I only talk to you like this.â
That honesty hit you harder than you expected, your breath catching. You hadnât realized how much youâd assumed about him until now. His words made your heart race.
You glanced up at him, trying to make sense of it all. But his expression said everything you needed to know.
âYeah, duh, c'mon, Y/Nâ he grinned, a sincere, slightly confused smile spreading across his face. âWhat makes you think Iâd mess around like that? Itâs only you.â
You stopped walking, your mind racing as his words sank in. âWait,â you said, a disbelieving smile spreading across your face, though your brow furrowed. âYouâre telling me, you donât talk to anyone else like this? You donât hang out with other girls?â
Ben chuckled softly, his hands back in his pockets, but his eyes serious as he looked at you. âNah, youâre the only one I ask to hang with. Youâre the only one I text first when Iâm on tour. Youâre the one I call to mess around with.â He smiled like he was telling you the simplest truth in the world. âSo yeah, itâs just you.â
You swallowed thickly, your heart pounding in your chest. Every word Ben had said felt like it was pulling you under, a current that you could no longer fight. You hadnât realised how much you needed to hear him say those things until the weight of them hit you, until his words finally opened the floodgates in your chest, making your heart pound. Could it be that he valued you just as much as you did him? You let out a slow breath, the air feeling heavier now like you were standing on the edge of something monumental.
âBenâŠâ you whispered as you halted in your tracks, your voice unsteady but determined, a sigh escaping your lips.
It didnât make sense. Youâd always assumed Ben had people around him, always figured he was surrounded by fans or other girls, but hearing him say that you were the one, the only one, hit you in a way you hadnât expected. You opened your mouth to try to verbalise the swirling thoughts in your head, but the words stuck, so instead, you let the silence sit between you. Then, Ben took a slow step closer, his tone shifting from casual to something more serious.
âCan I be honest with you?â His voice was lower now, the playful edge that usually made everything feel light gone.
You nodded before you could even stop yourself, feeling your heartbeat thud in your chest. There was no going back now, not with the way he looked at you.
He took a deep breath before he began, looking down the street before turning to face you.
âI like you,â he said, the words tumbling out before he could stop them. âLike, I really like you.â His gaze held yours, unwavering. âI know itâs probably not the best time to say it with everything going on, with our tours and us barely seeinâ each other, but I canât just let this hang on. I canât just let it pass and regret not saying somethinâ later. Iâm not that dumb.â
He exhaled like he was trying to shake off the weight of what he had just confessed, looking at you like he was unsure whether you would run or stay.
âYouâve got this way of, like... pullinâ me in, yâknow? I donât even know what to do with myself most of the time. I try to act like it's all cool like Iâm just messin' around, but I canât stop thinkin' about you, ever. And I never thought Iâd be the kind of guy who gets wrapped up in somethin' like this. But here I am.â
You blinked, not sure if your heart was beating too fast or too slow. His confession hung in the air, heavier than anything either of you had said before. It was raw, and it made your chest tighten.
âI know we got months apart, and I know you probably think Iâm crazy for sayinâ this now, but I had to say it.â He took a deep breath, his voice barely above a whisper. âItâs just... Itâs just you.â
You stood still for a moment, your breath catching in your throat. The weight of his confession settled over you, his words still hanging in the air, thick with meaning. Your heart raced, and you could feel your pulse at your fingertips as you tried to process everything he had just shared. Ben took another step closer, inches away from you, his eyes never leaving yours. There was an intensity in his gaze that made everything feel surreal like you were the only two people in the world. His voice softened as he spoke again, this time with more emotion than before, his words raw and unguarded.
âYou know,â he started, his drawl even more pronounced now, âever since we first met, I wanted to be in your circle. I wanted to be around you, be close to you. But when I saw you with that necklace, and my hoodie, laughinâ and lookinâ up at me like that, God, Y/N, swear I could feel my heart meltinâ right then. I donât even know how to explain it. It just felt like... I dunno, like everything clicked.â He paused, his breath catching as if he was just now realizing how much those little moments had meant to him.
âAnd when you told me about your ex, Jesus, I wanted to-â He cut himself off, a flash of anger flickering in his eyes, but he quickly controlled it. âI wanted to kill that son of a-â He stopped himself again, shaking his head as if shaking off the anger.
âNot that it matters. But what matters is that I want to show you what real love is. What real care feels like. What a real manâs like, yâknow?â His voice dropped even lower, barely above a whisper. âWhat you deserve, and then some.â
He leaned in slightly, his hand instinctively reaching for yours, fingers brushing lightly, but lingering longer than necessary.
âHell, if you gave me a chance, even, just, like, 20 minutes?â He let out a breath, a slight chuckle escaping his lips, but there was no humour behind it, only sincerity. âIâd give you the world, and more, in that short time. Until you told me enough. But I need you to know that... itâs real. Itâs all real, Y/N. I wouldnât say it if it wasnât.â
You stood frozen, your mouth slightly parted, trying to catch your breath. His words hit you like a wave, each sentence making your heart race faster, your chest tightening as the weight of everything he said settled into your bones. You couldnât speak for a second, lost in the gravity of what he had just revealed. The vulnerability, the truth in his eyes, the way his words laid bare a side of him you hadnât seen before, it was all too much, and yet everything you hadnât realized you wanted.
A sigh escaped your lips as the words came tumbling out of you.
âYou have no idea what you do to me.â You shook your head, a soft laugh escaping you, but it was one of relief, one of release. âYou drive me insane, Ben. Every time youâre around, every time you look at me like that, like Iâm the only one in the room, it makes me feel things Iâm not sure I know how to handle. I canât even explain it to myself, let alone to you. Itâs like Iâm constantly trying to push it down, but every time you smile, or, God, when you do that thing with your eyes when you look at me like youâre the only one who really sees meâŠâ You trailed off, the words too big to say all at once. You exhaled, shaking your head, but the relief was already washing over you. âIâve never felt like this before. Not even close.â
Ben was quiet for a moment, his gaze softening as he listened. You could see the understanding in his eyes, the way he was holding back, yet completely tuned in to every word. It was different now. You felt his grip on your fingers tighten just slightly as if grounding both of you at this moment, a silent assurance that you werenât alone in this confession.
âY/N,â he said, his voice low and gentle. âYou donât have to hold back with me.â He stepped closer, his other hand lifting to gently cradle your face, his thumb brushing against your cheek in a slow, deliberate motion that made your breath hitch. âIâve felt it too. All of it. Every damn time Iâm with you, I canât stop thinkinâ about how much I want this. Want you.â
Before you could respond, before you could even process the depth of his words, Ben pulled you in, unable to hold back anymore. His lips found yours with a sudden, overwhelming intensity that took the air from your lungs. His kiss was deep, full of everything that had been unspoken between you two for so long, full of everything you needed and more. His hand at the back of your neck held you steady as his other arm wrapped around you, pulling you flush against him, the warmth of his body sending a wave of heat through you.
The late night wrapped around you like a blanket, the streetlights casting soft pools of light across the footpath, but it was the brick wall behind you that grounded you. Your back pressed against it, your hands instinctively finding his shirt, tugging him closer as if you couldnât get enough. You felt his heartbeat against yours, steady and strong, in sync with the way your pulse quickened in response to him. Benâs lips moved against yours with a kind of desperate gentleness, his kiss unhurried but passionate and purposeful, as if he was trying to pour everything he hadnât said into this single moment. The world felt far away, all that existed was him and you, the weight of his confession still settling in the space between you, the understanding, the desire.
When he finally pulled back, it was only enough for your lips to part, breaths mingling between you, your chest rising and falling as if you had just run a marathon. His forehead rested against yours, and his hands slid from your face to the small of your back, holding you steady as you both tried to catch your breath.
You were still tangled up in the magic of his kiss, in the rawness of this moment, where everything finally made sense. The world seemed to slow down as you both stood there, foreheads pressed together. The air between you was thick with something unspoken, your breaths were still heavy, your heart racing, but there was also a quiet sense of relief as if youâd both been holding your breath for the longest time.
Ben leaned in slightly, his smile playful yet soft, his gaze locking with yours as the quiet of the night settled around you. "You know," he said, his voice low and teasing, "for the first time, youâve got me completely speechless."
You couldnât help but giggle at the silliness of it all, the way he always knew just how to make you laugh, how to make everything feel lighter. The sound of your laugh made his gummy smile widen, and before he could say anything else, you pressed a soft kiss to his lips, your heart racing in a way that had nothing to do with the night or the streetlights around you. It was just him.
Everything felt right at that moment, the electricity in the air, the warmth of his touch, and the way he made you feel like you were the only person in the world. Maybe you and Ben didn't make much sense together to everyone else, but to the two of you, it was clear as day.
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chapter one is done
#time to reread it and make sure i like it#and try to find a working title#but GUYS#ITS DONE#im excited for yall to see it#ill stop now before i say something spoiler-y#big hero 6#big hero 6 the series#hiro hamada#bh6#big hero six#bh6 obake#ao3#ao3 writer#ao3 fanfic#fanfiction
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i finally finished reading I see you, Sundrop! by @shirajellyfish and IT'S SO GOOD I CAN'T BELIEVE IT TOOK ME THIS LONG TO FINISH IT RAAAAAAA
i will be gushing about it in the tags but here's a lil animation i made based on the below paragraph in chapter 6 that gave me such a strong mental image that i had to make it real :)
#fnaf#fnaf sb#fnaf dca#dca fandom#fnaf sun#i see you sundrop#doodle dump#dynamic dump#ITâS SOO GOOD YâALL ITâS AWESOME IT MAKES ME AHDKLSLLLFJSL#one of my favorite fics for sure. it ticks off all the boxes of things i like in a story itâs crazy#the way the animatronics are described⊠their funky ways of thinkingâŠ. the sheer amount of detail is just *explosion sounds*#riley leaning hard on âhow does a good friend act?â and growing as a person because of it IS EVERYTHING AUUUGH#I LOVE EVERY PART OF IT i will be rereading it so many times forever and ever itâs so GOOOOD!!!#thank you shira for writing and sharing such an awesome creation <3 <3 <3
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hijo de la luna
#okay FIRST off. song by mecano my friend said is soooo silver and it is. like. the story steers off his course but its still his song#SECOND. this isnt Actual hollow moon fanart but it is in my heart. ive reread ell's fic 3 times now and every time it kills me. KILLS#go read it. hollow moon by serenescribe. its a 40k oneshot of silver slowly but surely being moon snatched. its delicious#the tumblr crowd already knows how swagalicious ell is tho i dont need to sell it to u. the munchiest crunchiest writing ever. mwah#but yes. i want silver to be made of moondust. i want him to shimmer and glow white as snow i want him a MOON CHILD#also i do Not make OCs bc im not creative but i think his roommate is a vil fan and eats oatmeal and likes sil's birds#by proximity. doesnt care for animals otherwise. he also has a crush on silver he told me himself#twst#twisted wonderland#twst silver#if catrĂona suntails doesn't draw a dramatically lit background then what's the point#suntails
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It's a clear, beautiful summer's day, the type of day that starts out bright and full of birdsong, that ends looking up at the stars and the moon while crickets chirp and fireflies show soft bursts of light. When the air is warm and full of life and the smell of hot grass and lavender and honey permeates everything.
The whole summer had been like that, really. Running outside with abandon, chasing each other through the tall grass deliriously happy and lying down in the fields surrounding their village, watching the clouds float by while they eat cucumber sandwiches. It's the summer before their first year at Hogwarts; the Sallow twins know that their life's about to change and are determined to enjoy their last summer of childhood.
Maybe they're too old for this sort of thing - they are eleven, after all, but both of them know that this summer is a turning point for them and they want to cherish every moment for as long as possible. Their parents have been encouraging them, often sending them out for the whole day, piling journals and ink and quills and picnic baskets full of food in their hands, encouraging them to research and be curious about the world around them as they had always done.
This day, however, their parents are almost eager to push the twins out of the house. Their mum's smile doesn't quite reach her eyes. Sebastian feels nervous about this, but doesn't realize why until much later, when the memory is analyzed and remembered during his dreams. (definitely not while awake). When they leave the house in the morning, she makes sure to kiss each of them on the cheeks which she normally never does and Sebastian pushes her away in disgust, much to his future horror. In the moment, all he can think is that he might still be holding on to the last moments of his childhood, but he's too old to be kissed by his mum.
(but now, Sebastian doesn't know if his memory is faulty and he is adding moments that never actually existed in the first place. the mind is a tricky place)
He never allows himself to think about these halcyon days, the perfect-until-it-wasn't summer before they went to Hogwarts; this day in particular is forbidden to remember. His unconscious mind rebels against his iron will.
They spend the morning looking for the fairies that Anne had dreamed about the night before. She's convinced that it's a prophetic dream and they march around in circles in the little copse of trees - a forest to the two children, who haven't really ventured out of their village - as Anne tries to remember where she had seen the fairies in her dream.
Sebastian is happy to follow her even if (maybe especially if) he thinks it's a futile adventure - what else are summer days for?
They're in that strange junction between childhood and adolescence; desperate to just grow up already and become the people they were always meant to be, and yet just wanting to spend their days being kids, without a care in the world.
"Come on, Sebastian," Anne calls to him, a tiny stream gurgling between them. In one hand, she's holding the map that she drew as soon as she woke up; in the other, boots stuffed with her stockings.
Sebastian huffs as he trudges behind her, arms full with their bags, his shoes, and the picnic basket. Anne had offered to help him carry things, but he refused on principle. Their dad is always doing small things like this for the women in his life, and Sebastian wants to be just like him.
Anyways, Anne has her own role as the leader today, and it won't do to have her bogged down.
And he's eleven, more than old enough to carry everything.
He steps through the tiny creek, mud and slush squishing through his toes, and he smiles. There isn't anything he loves more than being outside, except maybe being outside with a good book.
"Keep your eyes peeled for a tree with a knobby trunk, with lots of knots that look like faces," Anne tells him, glancing over her shoulder, then turns her face back to her map and scrunches up her face. "In my dream, the fairies lived nearby."
They spend the rest of the morning continuing their fruitless search, laughing as they walk in circles, then set up their picnic in the field next to their house.
"What do you think Hogwarts will be like?" Anne asks, a dreamy look on her face.
Sebastian doesn't look at her when he answers. He lies back and stares at the clouds. They've already had this conversation hundreds of times since their Hogwarts letters arrived, both of them have their parts memorized. "Amazing. I can't wait to actually be able to use our magic instead of just reading about it."
Anne rolls to her side and props herself up on her elbow, getting a better look at her brother's face. With a smirk, she says, "I think I'll like Transfiguration the best. I can't wait to be able to turn you into a -"
A huge noise interrupts her before she can continue. Sebastian sees the confusion in her face before he truly registers that something has happened. It's like everything's moving in slow motion and all he remembers clearly whenever he dreams of this day are his feelings of confusion and disbelief and the smell of fire.
There's a huge explosion and the air is full of smoke and he and Anne are scrambling up, the picnic blanket tangled up around their bare feet and -
Hand in hand they run in the direction of the huge black smoke that is billowing up. It coats the air - they can't see anything and the smell of burning fills their noses and the smoke fills their lungs and they're coughing coughing coughing -
Sebastian doesn't want his sister anywhere near the blackened husk of their former house but he is also terribly afraid to be alone. They stand in the middle of what used to be their house, blackened half-walls, charred wood that used to be their table, the old couch they read on every night, it's all smoldering, all gone, the thick black smoke making his eyes water and choking and smothering everything in its wake. His mind can't comprehend what he's seeing. Everything is so familiar and yet so wrong.
He doesn't know how long he and Anne stand there, clutching each others' hands like they are a tether to reality. Which, he supposes, they are. They might be there thirty seconds, ten minutes, one hour, an eternity...
Then, neighbors are running to the twins, coughing, covering their faces in the crooks of their elbows as they conjure blankets with their wands and wrap Sebastian and Anne up and drag them out of what is - was - their home.
This part is always hazy. Sebastian can't remember if he cries. Or if he even says anything. He just stands there with Anne, the smoke thick and oppressive as it pours out of their house. Everything is crumbling apart.
(A hand gently caresses his scalp, fingers light and reassuring as they dance through his hair)
Their neighbors try their hardest to salvage what they can. The daguerrotype that their mother had cherished more than anything, taken a few years before, miraculously survives. Sebastian stares at it, the tiny figures moving and laughing and smiling as though everything is perfect. He wants to throw it and break it or maybe rip it up to shreds but he can't bring himself to do anything but stare.
Their father's wand is also shoved into Sebastian's hand, unscathed. It was found just outside of his father's curled fingers, lying pristine on the ground as if mocking the destruction that it caused.
At some point, their Uncle Solomon, who they've only really seen once a year growing up, shows up with a loud crack and tears through the rubble, tears carving wet tracks through the soot on his face. His voice goes rough with desperation and when he walks up to the two orphans, he is almost unrecognizable.
As if in slow motion - maybe an after-effect of the curse that has destroyed their lives is that the air has turned into molasses - Sebastian watches his uncle stagger over to them. He looks much older than Sebastian remembers.
Later, when Sebastian looks at his reflection in the mirror of his new home, the boy staring back at him also looks much older than he remembers.
Before It Felt Like A Sin, Chapter 14
#i was rereading through random chapters of my fic (as one does) and I really like this scene#it always makes me a bit weepy ngl bc Iâm a crybaby#but I like itđđ«¶#anyways my low-effort post of the day#im not sure if I ever put these two drawings in the same post??#anyways here they areâŠmy two little rascalsđ#i literally LOVE this drawing of Sebastian so so much it holds a special place in my heart#and Iâve gotten like 200 followers since I posted this give or take so if you havenât seen these drawings yet!!!!#thatâs one thing I hate about social media tbh. everything immediate and then we move onto the next#create create create & these drawings take me a long time (even though I draw like crazyđ) so to just have them be a one-day thingâŠidkâŠ#so maybe sometimes I repost old art I like a lotđđđ#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy fanart#hphl#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow fanart#anne sallow#hogwarts legacy fanfic
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more phoenix wright situations
#ace attorney tag#maybe i should tag this narumitsu or something. but i dont really care.#gearing up to rereading/illustrating bits of my fic i suppose...i think nick really is too dense to realise he's in love with edgeworth#without some scheming fop trying to intrude. i love villains like kristoph..villains can be fun..witnessing their pathetic folly..#or more like edgeworth would never have mentioned his feelings ever in his life if he wasn't sure phoenix reciprocates.#i want to see it this way because Falling in love during childhood with the person you're going to end up with. is not relatable#there have to be Situations that make you Realise.#as with orufrey i adore the idea of people not working out their romance with that person until their 30s+#but... i mean. even with orufrey i often think how alaira could be qifrey's ex. and oru having been pursued by noble fops through his work#there is that delicate sliver of time before orufrey start living together that such believable situations could have happened.#Then the relief of politely and amicably extricating themselves from those untenable situations#the idea of falling in love age 7 and saving your first kiss for age 35 or something is all very well but more relatable is#people realising how they really feel whilst trying something that ends up feeling wrong.#The comfort and joy of living with your dearest one as if it's platonic - much preferable to trying anything more with anyone else.#But i doubt i will ever portray that or mention it further. it is indeed very delicate to me.#and i really am an OTP FOR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! kind of person who can barely bear to consider this anyway...NOT a polyshipper i'm afraid !#so i wouldn't mind either if they do have their first kiss in their lives age 35 with each other either. I would not mind that at all.#i love bi/gay couples apparently... bi father figures & their grumpy gay men waiting for them to work it all out...#not used to using colour in comic-style drawings..or at all..so this is messy and awkward looking..but colour is refreshing#i imagine i will go back to witch hat art soon btw. my destiny in life.#i still remember writing my nrmt fic expecting to write their first kiss & then partway through twas like Umm No. They have kissed prior.#does that really line up with this comic though... i think i had their early dinner dates/first kiss BEFORE disbarment.#so i guess this comic doesn't line up with my ficverse.... No..... U___U Oh well. sorry kris! <3
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Baoxiang gives sooo much shit to his brother for not thinking about things while absolutely not being aware that he's also pretty damn excellent at Not Thinking About Things
#wbx seeing the ghost of the maid with dimples: ahhh damn so 'going back to her sick parents' was a lie? who would have thought#people showing him genuine affection: hhmmm fake. they all Despise me deep down#consistently doing the worst thing imaginable and killing everyone he got close to for an Evil Plan that ->#he doesn't even want to carry through but now he feels like he must bc he's Sick and Twisted:#hmm I wonder why I feel so horrible all of the time... it can't be bc doing bad things makes u feel bad surely. it must be The Ghost#for priding himself into being the smartest in the game he is sooo fucking dumb good lord holy fuck#kicking him down a flight of stairs#tre reread#send post
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Iâm gonna be honest I didnât realize the new 52 messed with Kon that much till I read your post and now I canât get over the potential. Iâm a Tim/Kon girly at heart so I would devour anything you write exploring the 52 vs typical Kon. Also Time being in a clone sandwich is đ.
the new-52 messed Kon up SO bad it's ridiculous. like, to the point i would personally argue he's a completely unrelated character to pre-Flashpoint/Rebirth Kon. his personality, his suit, his origin, all different. the only real similarities are the name and powerset. and even New-52!Kon's powers are slightly different from pre-Flashpoint!Kon. New-52!Kon is a clone of a future version of Jon Lane Kent, cloned by N.O.W.H.E.R.E. to provide genetic material to Jon Lane Kent, whose body was not handling being half human/half Kryptonian well, it was a whole thing. New-52!Kon is also where we get the infamous "Kon-El means 'abomination of the house of El' and Kara basically named him a slur in Kryptonian culture" tidbit, because that is the only time that's canon. (originally Kon-El was a name gifted by Clark to accept Kon as his family way back in the 90s) he also never went by Conner Kent. New-52!Kon just straight up didn't have any real human identity or connections, outside of being very close to Tim and some Titans.
the very TLDR of Kon's history is: during post-Crisis/pre-Flashpoint, a clone called Superboy is created by CADMUS. at first, he's considered to be a clone of a dude named Paul Westfield and is not Kryptonian whatsoever, he was simply made to look like Superman and only has Tactile Telekinesis as a power. then, it was made canon that actually he was a clone of Lex Luthor and Clark Kent, but Lex hid this fact and slowly, Kon developed more Kryptonian powers. he's given the name Kon-El by Clark, and is taken in by the Kents, getting the name Conner Kent. then Flashpoint happens, we get the New-52, and we're given the above version of Kon-El, who is a clone of Jon Lane Kent, created by N.O.W.H.E.R.E. who has mostly very strong telekinesis powers and some Kryptonian powers. he's with the Titans for a bit, then at the end of the New-52, he kills some aliens and feels bad about it so he decides to fuck off and is never seen again, it's presumed he's dead but never confirmed. then Rebirth happens and DC makes Jon Kent the current Superboy, we get Supersons and all that, and it's assumed that no version of Kon-El exists. just at all. he's not around whatsoever, Jon is our only Superboy. *but* in 2019, we get a new Young Justice run and the pre-Flashpoint Kon-El is back, and we're given the explanation of: Kon got accidentally teleported to this alternate realm called Gemworld and then Flashpoint happened, and since that was a Crisis Event that changed the timeline, the poor lad got *erased* from the timeline, causing most people to *not fucking remember him* and for him to remember a timeline that no longer exists. some of the Young Justice team vaguely remember him, Ma and Pa Kent remember him, but notably, Clark *does not remember him*. it's not an issue of "Clark ignored Kon in favor of Jon" it's an issue of "Kon was erased from the timeline and didn't exist for years bc he was stuck in Gemworld and Clark just doesn't remember Kon or Kon's timeline" which to me, is far more tragic but i digress. since then, Kon has been back and is present in most significant Superfamily runs, with his own recent mini-series, Superboy: Man of Tomorrow. (which was very good btw)
so basically: the New-52 fucked Kon up so bad they wrote him out of comics for years and then brought back the pre-Flashpoint version, but never *explicitly* killed the New-52 version off. so hypothetically, it's possible that there are currently two characters existing in the DC universe named Kon-El who have been Superboy. and like i said above, one of New-52!Kon's only real significant relationships was with Tim, it was the only thing the New-52 managed to get right about Superboy, his closeness to Tim. they have a *lot* of moments that read incredibly queer. and ofc, it's just outright confirmed in Dark Crisis: Young Justice that Tim had a crush on pre-Flashpoint!Kon at some point. so while comics are intent on pretending New-52!Kon doesn't exist, i am intent on putting Tim in a clone sandwich.
because i do think it's fun to play with Tim having genuine feelings and potentially a relationship with both of them. and the fucked up nature of him not fully *remembering* his relationship with pre-Flashpoint!Kon (which is a canon thing, in YJ(2019) Tim has vague memories of Kon he's struggling to piece together and understand why he cares about this guy he doesn't recognize so much) and how frustrating that is for Tim. he knows he loves Kon, but it's all foggy besides that. and so it's even *more* fucked up if Tim dated New-52!Kon before he got emo and ran off into the unknown. obviously in canon no one has told current Kon about New-52!Kon bc comics are doing the good ol' tried and true of "sweep that shit under the rug" but for fanfic, i think it's fun to ask the question of: would anyone *tell* Kon? especially Tim? who now remembers dating both versions of them? would he admit to Kon that briefly, he had another Kon? how would Tim cope with that and move on? personality wise, they could not be more different. they dress and act and look different. they're not the same person, but there's certainly a questionable factor of Tim's dating history including two Kon-Els.
the idea i've had for a while is Tim slowly starting to date pre-Flashpoint!Kon again. it feels familiar and like home. and Tim has grieved and accepted that wherever New-52!Kon is, he doesn't want to come home, he didn't love TIm enough to stay and try. so Tim takes the Kon he has, and genuinely has a happy relationship. like for once, life is good and things almost make sense for Tim. but then, of course, New-52!Kon comes back. he decides he wants to try again and he finds Tim. only to find well. he's been replaced. and technically, he's been replaced with the *original* that he didn't even know *existed*. and if being a clone is bad enough, that just makes it a hundred times worse. because imagine knowing you're actually the second Kon-El your boyfriend who you never *technically* broke up with fell in love with. that's gotta give you some kind of complex.
so i think it's fun if both Kons try to step back and let the other Kon date Tim. both of them have reasons to feel like the "replacement" or "fake" Kon, and it makes them incredibly awkward with each other. do they count as the same person? bc they definitely don't *feel* like the same person to each other, but with weird timeline stuff, who can really say. them settling on an awkward throuple that's really meant to be Tim just dating them both but somehow they end up dating each other too is so fun for me. they both feel like imposters to the Superboy name but are so deeply in love with Tim Drake, it's the one thing truly connecting them. and then of course, Tim feels bad in that somehow, he's betraying both of them for having feelings for the other. but they make it work, with a lot of awkward angst and miscommunication. i just think it'd be fun. very difficult to write to get all the weird timeline nuances down in a way that's understandable in a fanfic (bc you can't just. infodump like i did on this post) but doable. also difficult to tag, because even though i argue these are two different characters, i'm pretty sure Ao3 groups them under the same character tag. so it'd be difficult to convey it's not *really* as selfcest-y as it would imply. comics, man. DC will never acknowledge New-52!Kon again, and he's admittedly a terrible adaptation of Kon-El, but. i think he was sort of neat in his own right and i'd *love* for DC to just inexplicably bring him back and make the current Kon deal with the consequences of all that. and them make Tim kiss them both. obviously.
#necrotic answerings#timkon#how do I tag this ship i'm so serious#kontimkon#I fucking *guess*?#also just plain Kon/Kon could be neat as well#I don't view it as selfcest. but like. I understand if ppl do#also if I got some details wrong i'm so sorry#I was tipsy writing this.#new-52!Kon you were a disaster child but come back from the war I miss you.#i'd need to reread the new-52 superboy and teen titans run to write this#just to be sure I've got a solid grasp on his character#pre-flashpoint!Kon I understand just fine he's my son I've read most of his content#new-52!Kon. eeeeeh. i've read it. years ago. and I'm not even sure if I actually read it all through or just bits and pieces#I hated him when he existed be like. he fucked up Kon so bad we fucking lost Kon for a couple years#but in hindsight. he had potential.#also if you want another bizarre fun fact about the new-52#Tim was never Robin in the new-52. he went straight to being Red Robin.#also his parents are alive and in witsec. do with that what you will.#weird times.#I guess new-52!Kon could've been erased by rebirth but I don't think he was?? bc characters have recalled his existence so?#hypothetically he *should* exist???#and if he doesn't#*oh well* I do what I want#DC you may not care about the implications of your retcons and reboots but I do. I do.#I want more fandom acknowledgement of Kon getting fucking erased from the timeline and no one remembering him#yes it's fun to make Clark a bad dad#but Kon was forgotten! by almost everyone! that's also fun!#young justice (2019) isn't the *best* comic ever but it's still solid! lots of good Kon whump I tell you.#he was fucking going *through* it that run I tell you. by God.
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