#i literally LOVE this drawing of Sebastian so so much it holds a special place in my heart

[myokk]

It's a clear, beautiful summer's day, the type of day that starts out bright and full of birdsong, that ends looking up at the stars and the moon while crickets chirp and fireflies show soft bursts of light. When the air is warm and full of life and the smell of hot grass and lavender and honey permeates everything.

The whole summer had been like that, really. Running outside with abandon, chasing each other through the tall grass deliriously happy and lying down in the fields surrounding their village, watching the clouds float by while they eat cucumber sandwiches. It's the summer before their first year at Hogwarts; the Sallow twins know that their life's about to change and are determined to enjoy their last summer of childhood.

Maybe they're too old for this sort of thing - they are eleven, after all, but both of them know that this summer is a turning point for them and they want to cherish every moment for as long as possible. Their parents have been encouraging them, often sending them out for the whole day, piling journals and ink and quills and picnic baskets full of food in their hands, encouraging them to research and be curious about the world around them as they had always done.

This day, however, their parents are almost eager to push the twins out of the house. Their mum's smile doesn't quite reach her eyes. Sebastian feels nervous about this, but doesn't realize why until much later, when the memory is analyzed and remembered during his dreams. (definitely not while awake). When they leave the house in the morning, she makes sure to kiss each of them on the cheeks which she normally never does and Sebastian pushes her away in disgust, much to his future horror. In the moment, all he can think is that he might still be holding on to the last moments of his childhood, but he's too old to be kissed by his mum.

(but now, Sebastian doesn't know if his memory is faulty and he is adding moments that never actually existed in the first place. the mind is a tricky place)

He never allows himself to think about these halcyon days, the perfect-until-it-wasn't summer before they went to Hogwarts; this day in particular is forbidden to remember. His unconscious mind rebels against his iron will.

They spend the morning looking for the fairies that Anne had dreamed about the night before. She's convinced that it's a prophetic dream and they march around in circles in the little copse of trees - a forest to the two children, who haven't really ventured out of their village - as Anne tries to remember where she had seen the fairies in her dream.

Sebastian is happy to follow her even if (maybe especially if) he thinks it's a futile adventure - what else are summer days for?

They're in that strange junction between childhood and adolescence; desperate to just grow up already and become the people they were always meant to be, and yet just wanting to spend their days being kids, without a care in the world.

"Come on, Sebastian," Anne calls to him, a tiny stream gurgling between them. In one hand, she's holding the map that she drew as soon as she woke up; in the other, boots stuffed with her stockings.

Sebastian huffs as he trudges behind her, arms full with their bags, his shoes, and the picnic basket. Anne had offered to help him carry things, but he refused on principle. Their dad is always doing small things like this for the women in his life, and Sebastian wants to be just like him.

Anyways, Anne has her own role as the leader today, and it won't do to have her bogged down.

And he's eleven, more than old enough to carry everything.

He steps through the tiny creek, mud and slush squishing through his toes, and he smiles. There isn't anything he loves more than being outside, except maybe being outside with a good book.

"Keep your eyes peeled for a tree with a knobby trunk, with lots of knots that look like faces," Anne tells him, glancing over her shoulder, then turns her face back to her map and scrunches up her face. "In my dream, the fairies lived nearby."

They spend the rest of the morning continuing their fruitless search, laughing as they walk in circles, then set up their picnic in the field next to their house.

"What do you think Hogwarts will be like?" Anne asks, a dreamy look on her face.

Sebastian doesn't look at her when he answers. He lies back and stares at the clouds. They've already had this conversation hundreds of times since their Hogwarts letters arrived, both of them have their parts memorized. "Amazing. I can't wait to actually be able to use our magic instead of just reading about it."

Anne rolls to her side and props herself up on her elbow, getting a better look at her brother's face. With a smirk, she says, "I think I'll like Transfiguration the best. I can't wait to be able to turn you into a -"

A huge noise interrupts her before she can continue. Sebastian sees the confusion in her face before he truly registers that something has happened. It's like everything's moving in slow motion and all he remembers clearly whenever he dreams of this day are his feelings of confusion and disbelief and the smell of fire.

There's a huge explosion and the air is full of smoke and he and Anne are scrambling up, the picnic blanket tangled up around their bare feet and -

Hand in hand they run in the direction of the huge black smoke that is billowing up. It coats the air - they can't see anything and the smell of burning fills their noses and the smoke fills their lungs and they're coughing coughing coughing -

Sebastian doesn't want his sister anywhere near the blackened husk of their former house but he is also terribly afraid to be alone. They stand in the middle of what used to be their house, blackened half-walls, charred wood that used to be their table, the old couch they read on every night, it's all smoldering, all gone, the thick black smoke making his eyes water and choking and smothering everything in its wake. His mind can't comprehend what he's seeing. Everything is so familiar and yet so wrong.

He doesn't know how long he and Anne stand there, clutching each others' hands like they are a tether to reality. Which, he supposes, they are. They might be there thirty seconds, ten minutes, one hour, an eternity...

Then, neighbors are running to the twins, coughing, covering their faces in the crooks of their elbows as they conjure blankets with their wands and wrap Sebastian and Anne up and drag them out of what is - was - their home.

This part is always hazy. Sebastian can't remember if he cries. Or if he even says anything. He just stands there with Anne, the smoke thick and oppressive as it pours out of their house. Everything is crumbling apart.

(A hand gently caresses his scalp, fingers light and reassuring as they dance through his hair)

Their neighbors try their hardest to salvage what they can. The daguerrotype that their mother had cherished more than anything, taken a few years before, miraculously survives. Sebastian stares at it, the tiny figures moving and laughing and smiling as though everything is perfect. He wants to throw it and break it or maybe rip it up to shreds but he can't bring himself to do anything but stare.

Their father's wand is also shoved into Sebastian's hand, unscathed. It was found just outside of his father's curled fingers, lying pristine on the ground as if mocking the destruction that it caused.

At some point, their Uncle Solomon, who they've only really seen once a year growing up, shows up with a loud crack and tears through the rubble, tears carving wet tracks through the soot on his face. His voice goes rough with desperation and when he walks up to the two orphans, he is almost unrecognizable.

As if in slow motion - maybe an after-effect of the curse that has destroyed their lives is that the air has turned into molasses - Sebastian watches his uncle stagger over to them. He looks much older than Sebastian remembers.

Later, when Sebastian looks at his reflection in the mirror of his new home, the boy staring back at him also looks much older than he remembers.

Before It Felt Like A Sin, Chapter 14

[rose-lighters]

Time to rank every MCU film

Yes I am doing that oh so original thing of ranking every marvel film from worst to best. Criticisms and debates are welcome. (Disclaimer: I like all these films unless stated otherwise)

X. Incredible Hulk - I haven’t seen it. Sorry.

21. Guardians Of the Galaxy Vol. 2 - I can honestly say I hated this film. The only likeable part of the whole film was the soundtrack and the first few minutes with Groot dancing. Beyond that it was dull, cringy and oh so predictable. The second that Ego (???) appeared and said he was Quill’s dad I was just like “Oh so this guy’s the villain then” and noped out of there. I never saw past that point and don’t intend to.

20. Captain America: The Winter Soldier - People praise this film till kingdom come and I for one do not get it at all. Many say that it is unique in moving away from the typical superhero film and towards the spy genre. Maybe I just don’t like spy films but it is in no means a great Marvel film. I liked it enough but it’s so forgettable I had to google the plot for this review. I liked the characters and all but it just never stuck with me as anything special.

19. Guardians Of the Galaxy -  Maybe I just don’t like the guardians??? I don’t know but this was another film that just didn’t stick with me. I like Rocket and Groot but beyond that the Guardians themselves hold no interest with me. I don’t care for the humor particularly and whilst the music is great that really shouldn’t be the best part of a film unless it’s a musical.

18. Avengers: Age of Ultron - People hate this film, I however do not. It’s an okay Marvel film, I don’t care for it enough to hate it. I like that scene where they’re all trying to lift mjolnir and I think I liked the ending (I watched it like two years ago so I don’t remember that well) but I have to agree with a lot of the criticism of white washing the Maximoffs (despite how much I love Elizabeth Olsen and Aaron Taylor Johnson, it was still shady). I didn’t hate the ‘giving Hawkeye a family’ like a lot of people did because the already made it clear he wasn’t like comic Clint.

17. Thor: The Dark World - Now we’re moving into films I do like (I love Marvel films more than I dislike them, it's literally just GOTG2 that I don’t like). This was a good film from what I can remember (as I said it's been a while since I’ve seen a lot of these films). I liked the story arcs, I liked that it was set in places other than America and space (ok, so I’m from England, sue me), I loved Tom Hiddleston in this film and I like Darcy. All in all it was an enjoyable viewing, a little dull at times but generally harmless.

16. Doctor Strange - This would be further up if it wasn’t for how dull the first half hour or so is. I had to go back and watch this months after I had first tried just because the start was so boring. Once I moved past it however it was a great origin film. I liked the humour in it and I have always had a soft spot for magic so it was a brilliant film. The effects were absolutely stunning and on aesthetics alone it would place as the second or third best marvel film. I loved the good guys and was genuinely rooting for them despite Strange being a bit of a snarky arsehole.

15. Iron Man - Is this a very important film? Yes. Is it a great film? Also yes. Do I remember it? Not at all. Okay, so I remember some stuff and what I do remember was great but to say its a film that sticks out would be a lie. It’s THE origin story in as much as it’s a formulaic one: flawed character is traumatised and realises their flaws in the process, is influenced by important person, becomes a hero and is betrayed. It works though. That’s the thing, it works so damn well that its almost not in the formula. It's a great watch and honestly RDJ looks great in it (so not the point but I digress). That bit with Stane ripping out the arc reactor made me feel betrayed and I kinda knew it was coming. ( https://tonynatashas.tumblr.com/post/184375713429/that-scene-in-iron-man-where-obadiah-stane-is this post explains why this scene is so great important)

14. Captain America: The First Avenger - Another (enjoyable) origin story. If Sebastian Stan wasn’t in it it would probably be three places down but hey I have a type. No but seriously this was a great film because not only did it show off the brilliance of Roger’s transformation and gave us an idea of who he was and what motivates him but it also then gives us details of his waking in the 21st century and begins to expose his issues with this time travel (for want of a better phrase). This film shows you what you’re gonna get whilst still having pretty good effects, a good, solid storyline and a pretty badass comic book villain. The serum guy creeps me out though and there are so many ethical issues of that level of human experimentation on a person whose only friend went off to war, had Steve died they chose someone no one would really miss which is so concerning.

13. Captain Marvel - A lot of people may have a criticism of this film being so far down but for me it needs to be. I like superhero films where the main character overcomes a flaw and amnesia is not a character flaw. This is a good origin story but it is not a great marvel film. I like Carol but I don’t love her. I love the fact that we have a superhero film with a female main character and i liked that scene where she talks with biker guy but it felt like Samuel L Jackson was a more interesting character at times. I often rate characters on humor so there’s that. It was a good film but I’m mostly looking forward to what will be done with the character as she has so much potential. 

12. Spiderman: Homecoming - This is a weird one for me. It’s the only marvel film I own on DVD and it’s the only one I like where I skip scenes. I can not deal with cringy humour so I skip 80% of the jokes and awkward moments in this film however it’s a really good film. It’s funny and the music is great, I love Zendaya and Jacob Batalon probably more than Tom Holland, their roles are great and the film’s emphasis on friendship is one of the elements from the Iron Man and Captain America films that I love just further amplified. The references to Ferris Bueller and the fact that it is, at its core, a teen flick makes it a brilliant film. The vulture twist was also amazing. 

11. Ant-man and the Wasp - I feel like it isn’t talked about enough but I really bloody love Scott Lang. He is one superhero that I can really get behind because above all else he is just the nicest guy. He is probably one of the most human seeming characters in the MCU and it always makes for such an enjoyable viewing. This could probably draw with ant-man in terms of great films. I loved Ava Starr so much and my heart really went out to her and that FBI guy was a total joy to watch. The Ant man films are so funny and light hearted that they don’t have that sort of weariness that other MCU films have. If only Luis told more stories in the MCU.

10. Ant-man - Honestly just look above. Also I love Hank Pym and Hope Van Dyne so much. The villain was kind of eh but I loved the heist aspect.

9. Black Panther - I watched this film for Shuri and to an extent because I felt obligated to so I had low expectations. People were talking about it for the significance of fighting for equality (which I am all for, don’t worry) so I was expecting it to not live up to the hype and it didn’t. That being said it was a bloody great movie. The movie was beautiful, the use of colour and the CGI tech was so damn pretty. The plot was brilliant and for a while I wanted Erik Killmonger to win, he put forward a good argument and I like a ‘baddy’ so to speak. The fights were great and I was so here for their version of going under cover finally not being a hoodie and cap. Was it over hyped? Hell yeah. Was it still a great film? 100%

8. Iron Man 3 - This gets a hell of a load more crap than it deserves, mostly from comic book fans who can’t stand that their precious mandarin was a hoax but honestly I respect the fuck out of marvel for that. Rather than having a stereotypically asian terrorist they turned that stereotype on its head and made the white guy the actual terrorist. Ben Kingsley is one of my favourite actors and he was amazing. I, obviously, also loved the representation of PTSD as a serious issue and how it was displayed in all of its real ugliness. For once it didn’t just show a damaged person who was fixed with romance. So yeah, this film was a masterpiece.

7. Captain America: Civil War - Zemo may just be my favourite MCU villain to date, why? Because he fucking won. This was a film about a man who knew his victims and rather than stupidly trying to attack the big scary strong guys he exposed them and made the best of circumstance. He got under Captain America’s skin and played him like a puppet. This was more than just a villain, this was finally a smart villain. Not to mention that this film had some of the best action sequences and heart breaking moments whilst still having time for a laugh. It’s also the first film (in my opinion) that called out Steve’s morals and his obsession with the past. Bucky was hot used against him and it showed that above all else, even the little people, Steve’s loyalties are with his past.

6. Thor - Most people would disagree and rate this film far lower however for me this was the start. I didn’t grow up watching superhero films because I didn’t like watching TV as a kid so it wasn’t till I was 13 that I saw a superhero film and this was it. I honestly watched it because my friend had it on DVD and I thought Tom Hiddleston looked hot but from what I can remember this was one of the best films I ever saw. I wasn’t too bothered by Jane Foster but I absolutely loved Darcy, Loki and Thor. Whilst I’m not adopted I do know what it is like to be the younger and smarter sibling with an older thuggish brother who is still the favourite so I loved Loki with a passion and was so upset when he fell.

5. Iron Man 2 - This was the film that made me realise that I liked girls, Scarlet Johansson in a black cat suit and red ringlets was an amazing thing to little 13 year old me. Beyond that it was just a solid film, it had spies and daddy issues and sass and Samuel L Jackson. What more can you want?

4. Thor: Ragnarok - This is the peak of Thor, I’m calling it now. Never had a director before been able to capture the absolute chaos of Loki and the sweetheart-ness of Thor so brilliantly. As far as representations of characters this, Captain Marvel and Iron Man 3 may just be the best of all the MCU. This is the full completion of Thor’s arc, this is the film that the first Thor set up. Finally Thor is ready to be King. This film had so much humour but still set it all up so perfectly that it was more than just a comedy. Jeff Goldblum was amazing and honestly Taika Waititi should direct the whole of the MCU. He knows the characters better than anybody.

3. Avengers: Endgame - I cried three times. That scene with the portals was the most beautiful thing I have ever witnessed and whilst many criticize much of the plot I don’t have too much I’d change, though in fairness I did like the cursed child so maybe I just have a soft spot for all things time travel. Dynamic timelines are not used in cinema enough and the three alternate timelines create have all sorts of implications for future films in the MCU. If Thor is not fat in the next film this may go down to 20th though.

2. Avengers Assemble - This is the film that I believe best represents what the MCU has to offer. It’s a light hearted superhero film with all the characters that were needed at this point in time. For its time it was ambitious and honestly it shows. I loved the dynamics between the characters, the plot was engaging and not overly complex and even if you haven’t seen any other MCU films it makes perfect sense. In some respects it probably is the best the MCU has to offer.

1. Avengers: Infinity War - Oh boy do I love this film. This isn’t just a film, this is the film. Did it have the same emotional impact as Endgame? Fuck no but it didn’t need to. It was serious. It was funny. It had just the right amount of just the right characters and may I just say that is the best that Captain America has ever looked in the MCU. I (controversially) really loved Gamora dying and most of the Guardians being dusted. The memes were great.This was the most ambitious cross over event since Wizards of deck with Hannah Montana. One thing that I can’t get out of my head though is Bruce’s comment of “broke up like the beatles?”. Does that make Bucky Yoko Ono?

[adriennescomingbacktolife]

           There it was.    The Baltimore City Championship. Resplendent in all of its glory. The golden plates shimmered in the overhead lighting. Encased in glass, it rested on a dark red velvet pillow.    Adrienne Levi shared that bright spotlight. She would be one of the women competing for the honor of representing Carnage Wrestling and its home city at the 100th edition of Chaos. Sitting in a chair, elevated far off the ground, she adjusted a mic clip to the collar of her logo t-shirt.    Looking at the camera, she smiled and asked, “We on?”    The red recording light on the camera answered that question for her. Adrienne exhaled sharply as she considered her words. Here she was, on stage, speaking to an opportunity that rarely comes. Earned through unorthodox means. Against an adversary that had been her partner for the last month.    “I haven’t talked about this much,” Adrienne said as she gestured to the championship on her right, “and to tell the truth, it’s because I didn’t totally believe that this would happen. Everyone has been so gracious in their assessments. That I deserve this. That I’ve come a long way.”    Smiling graciously, she cast a small glance towards the case.    “Thank you.”    Steepling her hands in her lap, Adrienne leaned forward.    “These past few weeks have been challenging. Losing stinks but that isn’t what this is about. I’m not the sort of girl who dwells on one bad night at work.”    Thinking back to former champion Eli Goode, he became more and more unhinged with every defeat. His delusion grew as he talked about which championships mattered and didn’t. It had consumed him.    And everyone now seemed to be an enemy to him. Things that had never been said by her were attributed to her without a second thought.    Nervous to admit, Adrienne saw a strange parallel emerging in her current circumstances.    “No, that isn’t it. I told you all right away. I’m not new to this industry. I don’t have the accolades or credibility of all of you, but that’s okay. Everything I’ve earned has been right here this year. But prior to Carnage, I was,” Adrienne paused, reaching behind her to retrieve a folded up photograph. Carefully, she opened it. For just a second, her eyes narrowed, and her expression could be construed as contempt. She turned the photo forward before continuing. “This was me.”    Adrienne was certainly right in the corner, but this was the “first autograph” she had shared earlier this summer. Someone else was featured prominently: “Magnificent” Danny Levi.    “Well, Danny and me.”    She tossed it aside, and the piece of bent up glossy paper floated down onto the wooden stage.    “You can draw your own conclusions here. Or if you want to, go on to YouTube and look up Danny Levi’s Greatest Hits. I’ve given up trying to remove the compilation of every time he struck me. Clearly, people enjoy watching it more than anything else he ever did. And as you all know, he’s gone.”    This had been no real secret. It’s just something she didn’t want to talk about much. Recent events had forced her hand.    Softer this time, she said, “He’s gone.”        That night was not Adrienne’s best effort. She had been a non factor against Axton Gunn and Sebastian Hawke. Leaving The Dragon Lady to twist in the wind. And in the end, they had lost.    Not that she really cared. Uncharastically, Adrienne left the show early. Within twenty minutes, she was back at Kohaku’s apartment, slowly emptying an unwieldy three-liter jug of zinfandel. Getting on Twitter, she poured out her guts and then logged off. Should have probably not pressed Send on those. Setting down her glass, she hiccuped. Feeling queasy, she realized this was a poor idea. However, it was the only thing she could do to take off the edge.    Everything piled up, and anyone who she thought would understand - was possibly part of the problem. Or reminded her.    The fox had held to his word. Phone number no longer worked. He was long gone. All that was left was that confusing book. Something she couldn’t even wrap her mind around with the rockstar around.    Axton Gunn had upset the apple cart.    It wasn’t him exactly, it was --    There was a sharp knock at the door.    Adrienne tried to remember if she had ordered delivery. Or if it was just one of those “wine and me” sort of evenings.        But before she could get off from the couch, the door opened. She sat there, dumbfounded, as Danny Levi sauntered through the doorway. He had cleaned up nice. Always valued a nice fitting suit.    Giving her a little wave, he smiled, “Surprised, aren’t you?”    “How?”    Raising an eyebrow, he pointed to the wine with an appraising look. “What do you think, Ade?”    Waltzing into the kitchen, he opened the fridge.    Disappointed, he called back out to her. Adrienne hadn’t left the couch as she stared at the still open door, “You aren’t a very generous host, are you? I could go for a nice porterhouse right now.”    Danny entered the living room. Nonchalantly, he plopped down on the couch next to his wife.    “I mean if I weren’t wormfood.” Laughing incredulously, he placed a warm hand on Adrienne’s shoulder. She closed her eyes. His exclamation pierced her mind with ease, “Goddamn. You can’t even look at your old man?”    “Cuz, you aren’t real.”    With deep, slow breathing, she tried to refocus on the night she had been having prior.    “Of course, I’m not real, you dumb bitch. So, just look at me.”    Danny’s arm shot forward, grasping her jaw and twisting her head towards him. He spoke low, hissing through his teeth, “Look. At. Me.”    Adrienne’s slowly opened her eyes. Danny Levi smiled that crooked grin. On closer inspection, his skin was pallid, and he looked like he hadn’t rested for a long long time.    “Good girl.”    He let go. Danny eyed the contents of the coffee table, besides the wine that is. Adrienne had been signing a stack of autographs to mail out in the next few days.    “Doing alright for yourself, aren’t you?” He said insincerely. Grabbing one up, he eyed up the promo photo. It was one in her new full bodysuit. She smiled at the camera, fists balled up, and ready to right. Her looping signature was bold and elegant. “What the fuck are you even wearing here?”    “I like it.”    “Nobody cares what you like.” Chuckling, he moved on, tossing the photo back on the pile. “You remember the good old days? That little blue dress. The first few rows would always try to see up your skirt. Don’t blame them; you were a good piece of ass, Ade.”    Danny pantomimed a chef’s kiss. Adrienne looked back towards the door, and she could have sworn he had left it open as he strolled in.    “Be serious. This is just the worst of who I was. How you choose to remember me, right? We haven’t talked in so long. I know you said goodbye. Disposed of me like garbage. Tossed away that ring of yours into the drink. Moved far, far away. And promised that you’d never think of me again.”    Wrapping an arm around her shoulder, Danny drew her in. He smelled of decay.    “But thanks to Axxxxxton,” sarcastically, he exaggerated his name in a manner she was familiar with, “I found you.”    “Wasn’t his fault.”    “I know, I know. Could have been anyone. Fitting it was that piece of Cali trash. Remember the time when I tore up that special poster. Signed just for you, and you wouldn’t shut the fuck up about it. Moped around for days until I set you straight.”    Danny messed her hair up with an affectionate nuzzle.    “You always come around eventually.”    Adrienne swallowed hard. His imagined touch repulsed him. This past summer, she had seen and heard things she couldn’t begin to explain. And here was another one. But she knew he was gone. She saw the light leave his eyes.    “Side effects of becoming a drunk, I suppose. See, you can run away from mommy, but I’ll always be inside you. Like a parasite, Adrienne.”    Abruptly pushing her away, he then stood up.    “Anything to say for yourself?”    Staring at the ground, Adrienne mumbled to herself, “What’s the point?”    “None really,” he concluded, “I just wanted to see if you had it in you. Here’s your chance. You’re the hero of the story, and I’m the villain. Look at me with all of my flaws, and you’d see I ended up being a truly despicable person. And here you are. You know the truth, you’re right down in the hole with me. You are moldering beside me. You keep manifesting these ways out, but fuck, none of them are real.”    Danny started to take off his suit jacket, folding it neatly on a chair next to the couch.    “So, maybe I should stick around. Perhaps every night, when you’re all by your lonesome, I’ll drop by. We can reminisce about all of the bad times. Maybe you throw me a fuck for old time’s sake. Maybe Fairman takes a break from his eternal rest, and you swallow him whole. As awful as I was, I was always a generous man. You gotta give me that.”    She shook her head, unsteadily. He sat down in the chair. Unzipping his fly, Danny signaled to her with a disingenuous suggestive tone.    “Danny’s had a long day, Ade. Why don’t you--”    Her phone chimed. It startled her, but it also made her realize that she was alone in the literal sense. Gathering her scruples, Adrienne clicked on the notification.    A brief, direct message from Matt Knox. Yo. kidYou're lovedSee you at 100        “I’m just trying to start over.”    Adrienne recalled the conversation she had with Amber last month. Ultimately, she just wanted to prove Danny wrong. She never considered that she’d become so attached to the people here to the point where she would quit an unsatisfying but secure job. Or running away from her family like she were some wronged teenager.    “It hasn’t been smoothest road. But this shot represents something I’ve never had. I’ve always stood in someone else’s shadow. And while I’m not that impressive compared to others, I’ve worked hard to get better.”    She paused, giving the belt another look. Who wouldn’t fantasize about that moment? She would bask in the glow of victory, holding that championship high.    “I deserve this.”    That statement hung in the air. It was something that many have said. Depending on who, it always took on a different feel.    “But not more so than The Dragon Lady.”    Adrienne wanted to give this woman her utmost attention. It was time.    “I guess I’d like to apologize to you formally about the last match. My head wasn’t in the game, and it cost us against a unit that had something to prove. To some, that makes things interesting. Personally, It hasn’t changed much. This was going to happen either way. The next Baltimore City Champion will be one of us.” Adrienne chuckled briefly, “Is that enough sports cliches for you?”    She steeled her resolve. Adrienne always found these next moments difficult, and after Axton, she was perhaps more reluctant than ever.    “We’ve spent a lot of time together. Trained. Ate together. I even met your manager.”    Mameha was impressive. She enjoyed her company, and the excellent tea certainly helped.    “But we always knew that everything led to 100. That every action would be measured. These past few times, I guarantee we’ve studied each other just as much as our opponents. I know my weaknesses. I know that I can’t match your skill or ability. I don’t possess the knowledge you have when it comes to a good fight. But that’s the thing.”    She paused, emoting that this was a realization for the audience to hear.    “I don’t need to. I just need to be me. I know this will be the most challenging match of my life. You aren’t some cartoon villain like Grant or Winter. You’re not lashing out at shadows like Eli Goode. You’re one of the most formidable opponents I’ll ever step into the ring with. Some of your decisions have perplexed others. You gave up an opportunity for the Chaos title to roll in the mud with Alex Winter. It’s not hard to see why.”    Adrienne thought back briefly to Winter. Nobody seemed to be learning the nature of this guy. Every action creates a reaction. Whoever chose to accost Alex has only made it worse.    “He gets under your skin. And by hook or crook, he humiliated you. I think we were fortunate against the likes of Goode and Matthews. Your attention seemed to be on Alex Winter that evening.” She raised her pointer finger in the air as to qualify her statement, “This isn’t to say that you can’t walk and chew gum at the same time but could have been a different story if Goode or Matthews were actually on the same page.”    And that brought her to their most recent outing.    “And while I was far from my best against Gunn and Hawke, I would be remiss if they didn’t get credit for their outstanding teamwork. Their game plan was simple.”    Taking a moment, she leaned forward.    “You.”    And she hated to admit that, but the strategy was plain as day.    “At first, I considered this to be an exhibition of sorts. I had my apprehensions about Axton Gunn. I’ve explained it enough. Sebastian was a little abrasive at first, so it was strange to hear such shining praise from his lips. But I think what you did only served to put a fire under them. It gave them the motivation to work together and wipe away that initial sting of defeat. I still don’t know either of them very well. Axton, sure. He’s a big deal. But personally?” Adrienne shook her head. “So I would hope that this championship is your focus this week.”    The camera panned out slightly to put Adrienne and the title in the shot.    “Because I wouldn’t be a student of the game if I didn’t take advantage. I want to become champion. I’m not sure if I can say it any better. I’m not like the Jack Michaels of old. I’m not Mitch. Or Silvio. Or anyone else for that matter. I just know that it’d mean a lot to represent this company. A company that, despite whatever issues linger, gave me a chance. It would mean everything for me to represent a city and a community that has welcomed me with open arms.”    Shrugging her shoulders, she concluded, “I guess it would make me happy.”    Adrienne shared a little smile. Not a lot to smile about recently. But again, that little fantasy took root. It would be awful nice. She had a guest coming, and with every passing conversation with Sylvia, she thought it would be cool if she saw her win that title. Retrieving a little slip of paper from her jeans pockets, she read it to herself.    “I’ve been thinking about this a lot. The Dragon Lady probably knows what this is or at least whose handwriting this is.” Tapping a finger against the note, she said, “She’s right. Just a few months ago, I was huffing and puffing my way through my debut against Starburst. And before that, my life was just passing me by because I don’t think I understood who I am. Who I could be. I’m not sure I should be so definite here, but these chances like this don’t come often. I have to seize this opportunity. It won’t come easy. But this right here is my story, my life, and yeah, this might be my only chance for it. I’m choosing to rise and become a champion this city can be proud of.”    Tucking the note back away, she then slid off the chair onto her feet. She didn’t fall on her face on camera, fortunately.    “I hope that’s okay with you. But either way, that’s who I am. A champion in the making. The future. Whatever else others want to say.”    Danny Levi’s specter remained, and so maybe it didn’t have to be one thing or other. Adrienne could fall in love with this business, and at the same time, she could take everything he had ever had. His claim to fame. His success. And more…    Adrienne Levi’s mouth twisted in a slightly mischievous smile. Knowing she could get away with this, and it would infuriate him.    “Maybe at the end of the night, you’ll just call me Magnificent.”

[strongmadge]

1-100, punko ~ a mutual

I'm calling the cops but also thank u I adore u mystery mutual1. Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?: SoundCloud tbh2. is your room messy or clean?: Messy3. what color are your eyes?: Brown af4. do you like your name? why?: Well considering once I came out as NB I renamed myself SO yeah I like it5. what is your relationship status?: Single6. describe your personality in 3 words or less: Uhhh. Anxious, dramatic, (sorta) creative7. what color hair do you have?: Rn Purple & Pink8. what kind of car do you drive? color?: N/A9. where do you shop?: Uh. Everywhere I Guess10. how would you describe your style?: Gay hobo11. favorite social media account: My Twitter or discord12. what size bed do you have?: I want to say a double???13. any siblings?: Ye boy two sisters & two half brothers14. if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?: Literally anywhere in Greece. I adore it there. That's my reasoning.15. favorite snapchat filter?: The hearts around your head one16. favorite makeup brand(s): I don't know enough about makeup to say ajsbd17. how many times a week do you shower? 3-ish? I say ish bc I try to shower three times then I just wash my hair on Sunday axjnd18. favorite tv show?: Turn: Washington's Spies :/19. shoe size?: 7 & a half in women's20. how tall are you?: APPROXIMATELY 5'621. sandals or sneakers?: Sneakers22. do you go to the gym?: GOD I WISH23. describe your dream date: Probably getting takeout and then staying in playing video games or watching dumb movies24. how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?: $1525. what color socks are you wearing?: Pink & white26. how many pillows do you sleep with?: I only currently own 3 but if given the opportunity I'll sleep w 527. do you have a job? what do you do?: Not rn I don't but previously I was janitorial28. how many friends do you have? : 12-16 ish???29. whats the worst thing you have ever done?: Everytime I didn't stand up for someone just because I was scared30. whats your favorite candle scent?: Vanilla31. 3 favorite boy names: Wyatt, Felix, Adonis 32. 3 favorite girl names: Micah, Zipporah, Mackenzie33. favorite actor?: Sebastian Stan34. favorite actress?: Meryl Streep35. who is your celebrity crush?: Sighs Aggressively. Anna Kendrick & Matthew Musto36. favorite movie?: This changes near daily but rn probably The Book Thief :/37. do you read a lot? whats your favorite book?: I try n read a lot but I don't have the attention/motivation for it recently sighs. The Inkheart series holds a special place in my heart tho 😿😿38. money or brains?: Use ur brains right & you can get money39. do you have a nickname? what is it?: Finchy, usually. Maybe one day Finn will catch on tho you COWARDS40. how many times have you been to the hospital?: Zero whole times for myself personally41. top 10 favorite songs: Boots- KeshaCherry Wine- HozierWhistle Wars- KayzoOn The Line- BlackbearI Like Me Better- LauvRude- MAGIC!Purple Gusher- RezzI'm God- BlackbearUnfaith- EkaliKeep It Mello- Marshmello & Omar LinXPretty Head- Transviolet42. do you take any medications daily?: Not yet43: what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc): Combination but leaning more towards oily44: what is your biggest fear?: Replacement/Abandonment45: how many kids do you want?: 046. whats your go to hair style?: Down & side part47. what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) : Small & handbuilt by my grandparents48. who is your role model?: My older sister49. what was the last compliment you received?: "You're doing great and I love you."50. what was the last text you sent?: "JAHSHSJS NO I JUST MEAN BEFORE AKA B4 I'M SOWWYI had the trial for Sims 4 but then didn't bother buying it sighsHSHSHJSW I PLAY FOR LIKE 10 HOURS"51. how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?: Uhhh??? 6 or 7?? Maybe 5??52. what is your dream car?: Something that runs53. opinion on smoking?: BAD54. do you go to college?: I'm hoping to,,,one day55. what is your dream job?: History professor or on Broadway56. would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs?: Rural 57. do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?: Damn right58. do you have freckles?: :3c Yes59. do you smile for pictures?: Usually close mouthed bc I don't like my smile60. how many pictures do you have on your phone?: 2000-ish?61. have you ever peed in the woods?: Ye boi62. do you still watch cartoons?: Not rlly63. do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?: McDonald's64. Favorite dipping sauce?: Barbecue65. what do you wear to bed?: Preferably nothing66. have you ever won a spelling bee?: Sjhshs no67. what are your hobbies?: Writing, listening to music & aesthetics68. can you draw?: nAH69. do you play an instrument?: I can semi play guitar & can play percussion and trumpet70. what was the last concert you saw?: TECHNICALLY it was a festival but Marshmello was the last act. Last real concert was Demi Lovato71. tea or coffee?: Tea72. Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?: Starbucks73. do you want to get married?: Sort of!!74. what is your crush’s first and last initial?: M.D & K.D75. are you going to change your last name when you get married?: Nah76. what color looks best on you?: Black or pink77. do you miss anyone right now? : HNnNG God yeah78. do you sleep with your door open or closed?: Closed and everyone who sleeps w it open is stronger than I 79. do you believe in ghosts?: They ARE real you cowards80. what is your biggest pet peeve? : Chewing loudly/with your mouth open and also loud swallowing81. last person you called: My sister,,,I think82. favorite ice cream flavor?: Cookies & Cream83. regular oreos or golden oreos?: Regular84. chocolate or rainbow sprinkles?: Rainbow85. what shirt are you wearing?: Plain black T-shirt86. what is your phone background?: Can't post bc I'm on mobile but art that my friend did of my da:i OC and Dorian :/87. are you outgoing or shy?: Mix?88. do you like it when people play with your hair?: Yes,,,pwease,,,89. do you like your neighbors?: Meh90. do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?: I was my face @ night and in the morning!91. have you ever been high?: ye boi92. have you ever been drunk?: Tipsy, not drunk93. last thing you ate?: Hawaiian Pizza94. favorite lyrics right now: "In this game that we play I never win/something about you I can't quit."95. summer or winter?: Summer96. day or night?: Night97. dark, milk, or white chocolate?: White chocolate tbh98. favorite month?: October99. what is your zodiac sign: Libra100. who was the last person you cried in front of?: Literally the entirety of my drama class like. 4 hours ago

[lady-divine-writes]

Kurtbastian fic - “A Dalton Boy Dying to Be Used” (Rated NC17)

It's Easter Sunday, and Kurt has chosen to observe the holiday at home with his sub instead of at his club, by eating chocolate and decorating ... eggs. (1577 words)

This is another little scene to break up the tension from the last chapter to the next chapter (coming up soon). I wrote it in honor of Easter, but I felt a little sacrilege posting it yesterday, all things considered xD Dedicated to @freakingpotter, to whom my paint brush reference belongs (because she's an amazing, wonderful artist, so when I put artist specific things in a story, it's usually for her :D) because I miss her :(

Read on AO3.

“Are we staying here tonight, Master?” Sebastian asks, watching Kurt walk back in to the bedroom after being left for close to an hour unattended. Sebastian didn’t misbehave. He wouldn’t dream of it, and not just because he couldn’t move, bound on his back on the bed. Obedience is the road to reward in Kurt’s house, and reward is usually Kurt. Besides, Sebastian can’t assume that just because Kurt’s not in the room with him that he doesn’t know what Sebastian is up to.

Kurt has an uncanny sixth sense when it comes to Sebastian, which leads Sebastian to believe that Kurt has a nanny cam or two set up where Sebastian has yet to find them.

Kurt had left Sebastian tied to his bed comfortably, the way he does whenever they’re about to partake in a more sensual session – silk scarves wrapped around his wrists and threaded underneath the mattress, pulling his arms out to his sides; ankles cuffed in fur-lined leather on the opposite end, keeping his legs spread. Kurt eliminates discomfort and forgoes the use of pain so that Sebastian can concentrate on absorbing pure, rapturous pleasure … and not respond to it.

Scenes like this are some of the hardest for Sebastian to handle because they skirt the boundaries of emotion. They’re psychologically taxing, straddling a border between Sebastian acting as an object, a mere receptacle, and being a lover. Kurt lavishes Sebastian with attention that shadows lovemaking – gentle caresses, tender kisses, and selfless body worship. Sebastian isn’t required to wear a blindfold or a gag. He is encouraged to watch Kurt work. He has permission to talk and moan, unless those privileges are specifically taken away, but the trade-off is that he doesn’t get to touch or kiss.

And he isn’t allowed to cum.

“We are, preppy,” Kurt answers, kicking the door shut behind him. Sebastian finds it odd and unnecessary that Kurt would do that, seeing as they’re in his house alone, but it’s a ritual for Kurt – a way to lock them inside their own little world, a space where ex-boyfriends and ex-lovers, work stress and school strife, have no place. It’s symbolic, the way almost everything with Kurt is steeped in symbolism, from his clothes to his décor to his intricate tattoos.

“But … don’t you need to be at the club? Don’t you have something special planned for Easter, Master?” Sebastian knows that Kurt usually spends his holidays at his club, and that he plans special theme events for his customers. Kurt’s club is more his home than his actual house is, and his regulars are like his family. Kurt is never alone when he’s at his club. There’s always someone available to fill his voids when he needs them filled. But since Kurt met Sebastian, they’ve spent the holidays together. Sebastian likes that. He likes the intimacy of having his Dom all to himself. Here in Kurt’s house, Sebastian doesn’t feel the pressure of having to act like the perfect submissive in front of anyone. He’s just Kurt’s sub here, in the most comfortable, erotic, and personal atmosphere imaginable … and he doesn’t have to fight for Kurt’s attention.

Though he has to less and less now. Kurt has developed a singular focus when Sebastian’s around, and that’s Sebastian.

That may mean that Sebastian undergoes more vigorous sessions, more inventive methods of fulfilling Kurt’s sadistic needs, but Sebastian’s not complaining.

Kurt extinguishes his clove in the purple ashtray on his bedside table before he climbs up onto the bed. With both hands occupied, his legs and abs do all of the work balancing his weight. Watching Kurt’s toned stomach clench above the waistband of his black lounge pants, the effort accentuating his six-pack, makes Sebastian, bound and immobile, salivate. It would be the greatest reward in the world to lick Kurt’s abs, nose his waistband down over his hips and work his mouth over his Dom’s cock.

But Sebastian knows that if he wants Kurt’s cock, he’s going to have to earn it.

“Yeah, we do, but it’s not my turn to wear the bunny costume this year.”

Sebastian has to bite his tongue hard not to snicker at the image his brain produces of Kurt dressed like a rough trade Easter Bunny, with a carrot-shaped dildo clutched in his furry-gloved hand, and a clove cigarette sticking out of the corner of his mouth. But then, Kurt dressed in silky white panties, and wearing leather chaps along with fluffy ears and a tail, black kohl eyeliner, dark red lipstick, and a spiked collar around his neck … that would be something to see.

“Besides, handing out candy and hiding eggs are the kinds of things that littles like to do, and I’m not really down for that. Elliott’s much better at coordinating that crap than I am. I’d much rather celebrate at home.”

“Celebrate? But I thought you were an atheist, Master.”

“You don’t have to be religious to eat chocolate and paint eggs, preppy. You just have to be creative …” Kurt pauses, chills zipping down Sebastian’s spine with a flash of Kurt’s signature Grinch-like grin - the corners of his mouth curling up his cheeks while his brows draw together in the middle “… and inspired.”

Sebastian watches Kurt crawl between his legs carrying a palette of paints in his right hand, a paint brush and a towel in his left, but not a single egg in sight.

“Wh-what eggs, Master?” Sebastian asks, afraid that “eggs” might be a code they haven’t discussed yet.

Kurt’s face darkens, the kiss he blows signifying that something deliciously devious is about to begin.

“Yours, preppy,” he says, nudging Sebastian’s balls with his knee. Kurt puts his palette down carefully between Sebastian’s thighs and lays his towel over his sub’s left knee. The brush, he keeps. He holds it between his thumb and his fingertips, holding it up for Sebastian to see. “Today we’ll be using a Da Vinci Maestro Round Brush, size 16, with bristles of Siberian Kolinsky Red Sable fur.”

Sebastian nods as if any of that meant anything to him. He’s never taken an art class. The last time he tried his hand at painting a picture, he was using a Crayola watercolor set, and he was maybe ten years old. But Sebastian goes completely speechless at the mention of sable. One of his mother’s favorite coats while Sebastian was growing up was made of sable. Sebastian had a kind of creepy love affair with petting the damned thing behind his mother’s back (which means, ironically, that Sebastian spent a great deal of his formative years in a literal closet). Sable is one of the softest materials Sebastian can imagine touching his skin, aside from Kurt’s own magnificent tongue.

And if Kurt is implying what Sebastian knows he’s implying, he’s going to be painting Sebastian’s junk with it.

Kurt scoops up a dollop of bright pink paint onto his bristles and lowers the brush slowly to Sebastian’s crotch, while Sebastian’s eyes, wide and unblinking, follow his every move. With the lightest touch, Kurt swirls the bristles over the head of Sebastian’s cock, covering it completely in pink paint, then outlines the ridge. Sebastian swallows hard as Kurt strokes, fighting not to close his eyes at the delectable tickle of his delicate swipes.

“We’ll get you all decorated from abs to anus, then we’ll take some photographs,” Kurt mutters. He wipes excess paint off on the towel, then switches to green, and paints a stem and leaves down Sebastian’s shaft to go with his now pink tulip head. Sebastian imagines the tip of that brush circling his entrance the second Kurt suggests it, wet like Kurt’s tongue but cold, the stiff but soft point of the bristles dancing inside. His cock bobs without permission, blurring the line Kurt was creating, but Kurt doesn’t look upset by it. He looks pleased. Every bob, every pearl of pre-cum leaking from the tip, is a strike against Sebastian – another golden opportunity for punishment. Kurt licks his lips as he changes colors, and starts a line of smaller, red flowers down Sebastian’s shaft over the drying green paint. “Mmm, I absolutely adore this body paint, preppy. It’s one of my favorites. You have no idea.”

“A-and why’s that, Master?” Sebastian asks, stuttering when Kurt’s brush dips down and around, glancing ever so gently behind his balls. Sebastian is thankful he has permission to talk. He needs the conversation to keep his attention away from what Kurt’s doing. If he wants to last, he needs to start thinking of something other than this implement that feels too much like a tongue stroking his skin.

But Kurt knows. He knows what Sebastian’s small talk means. He can appreciate coping mechanisms. Everyone has them, even the great Kurt Hummel.

But Kurt doesn’t like easy ways out. That he considers cheating.

Kurt winks at Sebastian while making another blind stroke along the base of his sub’s cock, one that finally drags the moan that’s been building in Sebastian’s throat past his lips.

“Because it’s made of chocolate,” Kurt says, “which means it’s edible.” Kurt chuckles when Sebastian swallows again, and an actual, “Oh God,” takes the place of the second moan in his throat. If Sebastian can’t stand strong against a paint brush, what will he do against Kurt’s talented tongue, especially when he’s not allowed to cum? “And I do love me some chocolate.”