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inkdemonapologist · 1 year ago

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What are your thoughts on joeys character in batdr and his redemption? If you ask me I like what they did with him. They gave him redemption without excusing some of the bad stuff he did. And I think memory joey could grow to be somewhat of his own character. But the redemption isn’t perfect though. Even though I said the it didn’t excuse some of the stuff he did it felt like they swept the bad stuff under the rug. But who knows. Maybe they’ll fix this in future.

But enough about what I think, what don you think?

I’ve talked about this before – the TL;DR of that post is that I think this is, conceptually, a promising way to portray Joey moving forward to be better for someone new, but in actual execution it fails to do that.

TBH I’d love to stop categorising this as “redemption”… I've grown to dislike this framing, debating whether it’s a Good Redemption or a Bad Redemption or whether Joey is Really Redeemed or Not, because it assumes that Redemption™ is even what’s happening in this story. BatDR is a story where we’re given reason to believe that Joey may have had a change of heart. That’s it! We can question and analyse his supposed change of heart, but it doesn’t have to REDEEM HIM to be real, and I think measuring things on the scale of REDEEMED VS NOT REDEEMED is not only gliding over some pretty complex ideas of What Does Redeemed Mean In The Context Of Fiction (it is the sort of concept that it is so, so easy for people to have vastly different unspoken definitions for, making discussions of “he was redeemed” “no he wasn’t” especially futile), but also not really useful here.

For one thing, this isn’t a story about Joey's change of heart. Tbh, he barely features – Memory Joey can have a change of heart and work to be better if you believe/headcanon that he has OG Joey’s attitude, worldview, and personality flaws (which I do), but he has no crimes to acknowledge or repent for other than MAYBE reluctance to get involved. You might as well ask a person to repent for the crimes of their kins!! We hear about the choices original Joey made, and we can judge those choices postmortem, but he’s not here to redeem himself through this story; he’s dead.

As to the actual spirit of your question: The big thing. The really really big thing. Is that the CYCLE IS STILL GOING. It’s still going and it’s still bad and everyone in it is still miserable!! He didn’t fix that!!! The only evidence we have of ANY attempt to make it nicer in there is that he added Allison Angel, which like, “i’ve created a new life to keep you company in the torture dimension, so it’s less bad” is NOT ACTUALLY BETTER.

It’s important because it’s the only thing Joey could still try to do. He clearly doesn’t have any money to give restitution to his victims or their families, and I’m not gonna be a cop about demanding that he return the ink machine to the corporation that’s even more evil than he was. There’s not a lot of tangible steps he could take to perform penance for what he’s done, beyond fessing up publicly to his crimes and turning himself in and definitely going to jail, and like, maybe that would be a good thing for him to do, but if we’re going to hold Joey to that standard we really should be making the same demands of, say, Thomas Connor, or Sammy Lawrence in every Escape AU.

He can’t go back and un-ruin the lives he ruined years ago. But he didn’t do anything about the cycle, and that’s something that’s still happening NOW.

That was his responsibility, sapient life that he created to suffer and should have felt a huge obligation to – yet, we have no evidence that Joey was like, trying to fix it (in fact, he seemed PRETTY FOCUSED on spending his limited time creating and then raising Audrey), so every assertion that he was a changed man falls a bit flat, because being a sweet, loving person to your family and friends while running an endlessly looping torture dimension in your basement is actually quite sinister! Even Memory Joey asserts that the only reason he can’t fix the cycle now is because he’s not really the OG Joey who made it – does that mean the OG Joey could? Audrey says she wants to make the cycle kinder; could Joey have done that? Why didn’t he? We know from Allison's appearance in the original BatIM that the hellish experience of the first game IS the version that came from Joey’s change of heart, and it’s not great for literally anyone!!

Joey was a better person to Audrey, his daughter, and I do believe he genuinely loved her. If it were just that, it would be pretty good – Joey disappears from public life and stops obsessing over Bendy and instead of barging into his past victims’ lives to demand forgiveness, he just wants to be a better man and a good father to this daughter he created. That’s a compelling story, and I think it’s probably the best direction that “Joey wants to be better” could go. But once we realise he was actively ignoring suffering that he both caused and was responsible for fixing, it’s hard to take that love in good faith anymore. Joey being good exclusively to people that he likes who are doing what he wants isn’t anything new; Joey’s delight in The One Who Came Out Right feels less like a change of heart when we see Memory Joey echo his complete lack of sympathy for The One Who Came Out Wrong.

The reason it feels like Joey’s wrongdoing was glossed over isn’t because Joey needed to record an audiolog saying “I acknowledge that my actions were without excuse, and I’m deeply sorry for the harm I’ve caused” or whatever… it’s because there was something he could’ve changed, or could’ve at least TRIED to change, and he didn’t do it -- and it feels like we, the audience, were not supposed to notice that, because the story didn’t notice, either. It'd be possible to address it; like, what if Joey's change of heart instead involved him trying to fix things for the people in the cycle, and Audrey was created accidentally in that process -- then his love for Audrey would also be a picture of how far he'd come, taking responsibility for this person he'd brought into being and seeing her as a beloved daughter instead of a mistake. Or even just an audiolog where Joey says some kind of “oh god I can’t end it, it’s just going to repeat forever, what have i done, what can i do,” and it might actually feel possible to believe in his change of heart, to believe that he really tried as hard as he could and just never succeeded. But this huge thing is barely acknowledged. It's fine. He put Allison in there, so now it's fine! Don't dwell on the past!!

Anyway, like I said in my first post, if all this were intentional, I would LOVE it, conceptually. The idea of Joey Drew being a good father to Audrey who really genuinely loved her, but also was not actually a better person in a lot of ways, was still the same guy who was uncomfortable with guilt and glossed over his wrongdoing in order to prematurely Move On from the things that made him feel like a failure and focus on the relationship with his daughter that made him feel like a success, is a compelling, difficult character! The way so many people fell in love with Memory Joey just seems like, how everyone in original Joey’s life must’ve felt about him, the way they all kept believing in him despite everything, the way they wanted so badly to believe him. Impose this lens upon the whole game, and it all fits in. But since there’s no sign it’s intentional – and, with the archive, actually some signs that it wasn’t – it sort of sits weirdly. Memory Joey isn’t framed as an unreliable narrator. The tone of his final scene clearly isn’t MEANT to be dissonant.

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So, uh, that’s what I think. I think the concept of Joey having a genuine change of heart and being better for his daughter could be good; I think the concept of Joey presenting himself as a changed man when really he is Just The Same, He Just Likes You This Time, could also be good. But he was handled clumsily enough that I think we didn’t quite get either thing, and, as usual, you have to fill in the blanks with headcanons and inferences to get one of these stories -- so which story you get kinda depends on which way you decide to interpret everything. Nothing tells us for sure that Joey didn't try his hardest to fix everything, so if you want that story, you can simply headcanon that he tried his hardest. But my personal preference is definitely for the reading where Joey believes himself a changed man because he really does love his daughter, and that's genuinely sweet!! but he remained the same man he always was, dodging guilt and responsibility in favour of a narrative that made him feel good about himself. I'm still quite proud of the frustrated little indictment Memory Joey gives him in that one creationship comic I made:

#i know you have questions you always do #bendy and the dark revival #joey drew #we all write on the walls

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that-dreaming-dragon · 2 months ago

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Origin Theory

Asking someone's origin feels like asking someone what's their assigned gender at birth. That's like, undermining who they are as a person, correct gender and all. Maybe there's value in knowing where one came from, but that's pretty personal.

At the least, the alterhuman community at large don't really hound on people for their origin from what I'd seen. It's a lot of people offering up their origin story. Is this a need to be validated due to all the past discourse surrounding spiritual vs psychological origin?

On the same vein, voluntariness. It's another form of origin theory that gets a little, I'm not sure redundant is the right word, but it takes away a lot of personal agency when dealing with something that's your own, one's identity.

With how vastly diverse and just generally limitlessness of alterhuman identities, having something so finite and restrained is so strange. Maybe for presentation towards the newcomer and orthohuman outside the community it's important to keep things simple--box labeled and everything organized like a file cabinet. But within the community? Conversation flows easier, as I observed, when people put not as much stock with the origin theory. Although it is still fun to talk about, speculating one's own "how I came about", it really shouldn't be the "oh no, I'm psychological/spiritual" then proceeds to panic. I donno, I fortunately haven't seen this. Though, I can't remember how it was when I first found the community roughly 5 or 6 years ago, I vaguely recall the emphasis on spirituality with implicitness of how much more important it is than psychological. I guess there is still that lingering around. Although I'd heard how in some circle, it's the reverse. This whole thing is just so dumb and really not cool. I don't have the right word here, but please hear my frustration.

A lot of things with alterhumanity by itself is fascinating. I like hearing about people contemplating whether they are spiritual, psychological, I love hearing the one alien that has a philosophical relationship with their alterhumanity, I know of a couple dragons who start their draconity as artistic expression of the self. These are really cool! And knowing for some the cause of their alterhumanity is from their neurodivergence made me think about myself. Knowing about people that have other lives, whether it's living in parallel with other universes, inside time loops, or having a identity because they will become that one day? That's all really neat.

We don't need to proof who we are within the community. Isn't that one of the point of having a community? We shouldn't need to validate ourselves to the folks who are suppose to be just like us, or at least understand what we are going through in some way.

I mentioned just now how some have identity that they become due to artistic expression, there is a implictness of the voluntariness in there. They are still who they are in the end. (do the end justified the mean? That's when on making decision to do something. not dealing with identity stuff) Personal journey such as alterhuman self discovery are, the whole thing would matter differently to people, some would care for the path they'd took, some only look at where they are, some care for every single moment, some just goes with the flow, and it is all perfectly okay! Because we are all unique individual experiencing our own thing.

I mean, if we are talking about explicitly intensionally created bond towards something, aka linking, that's something explicitly voluntary. Yet quoiluntary exists as a term for people's use, and there is a need for it! There's this focus on a linktype as something you can drop, but there's the concept Anteatype--a identify-as (kin/theriotype) that has been dropped, which makes the whole "something that can be pick up voluntarily and then drop as easily" as the definition people point to kind of null. It's the one post Poppy on tumblr had said

'Paratype' only tells you about the origin of the connection/identity, not its substance.

To me, “otherlinking” only tells me that it was from without, external, applied with a will, to actively create or strengthen a connection, preexisting or not. And then later on if someone feel the need to shift their terminology to better fit their experience, it's a option. Though it can be scary, the community is there to support.

I know at one point I myself also put emphasis on how much my origin is. I mean I did mention me finding that my hearttype is far more spiritual inclined than my kintype. I ascribe to the metaphoric in origin for my kintype these days though. It's not important a conversation, though I do like to ruminate on it myself for my own curiosity.

Course I wish we can completely move away from the need to define these boxes, but I suppose we can treat them like alterhuman identity training wheel. You can use them when you first found the whole concept, it might help to keep things simple and more concrete. Later on, when you are ready to fly, you can gently let them go, or pin them up on your pin board hoard, say "okay, I'd done that, now let's see what else there are". Be a little explorer, except the vast beyond is the little universe within your very self.

#alterhuman #ahpi writing challenge #ramble #Sol System's Alterhuman Writing Challenge 2024 #day 7

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henrysglock · 2 years ago

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Do You Have A Minute To Talk About Our Lord And Savior: Vecna?

Specifically, I'd like to talk about Jericho, Book of Revelation, Paradise Lost, and the concepts of God and Satan as "good" and "evil", and try to decode who is who.

Let's start with Jericho, and go from there. Like everything else in Stranger Things, though...we'll loop back to the beginning eventually.

Season 5: Jericho

We all know about the nuclear disaster aspect, I don't think I need to continue beating that particular dead horse. (There are plenty of topics to beat into the afterlife. I witnessed a public beating re: production errors just a few days ago.)

I want to talk biblical.

I want to talk about the Battle of Jericho.

The Battle of Jericho is an old testament tale from the Book of Joshua, and there are some basics of the battle you should know:

The Israelites, who have been wandering in the desert for 40 years, prepare to invade and take the City of Jericho from its king. Joshua sends ahead 2 spies in preparation.

These spies are housed and hidden by Rahab, a prostitute. The Israelites promise to spare her and her kin for this, so long as she marks her house with a red cord.

The River Jordan dries up, allowing Joshua and his people to cross. The King of Jericho orders the walls of the city to be closed (This is important to note: He closes the walls. This is not a Rifts parallel. God opens the walls.)

God commands that for 6 days the Israelites march about the walls of the City of Jericho, one time each day. Then, on the seventh day, they are to march around the city seven times.

On this seventh day, seven trumpets are to be blown by seven priests from behind the Ark of the Covenant.

The Israelites do as God commands, and the walls of Jericho fall under the sounding of the trumpets and the cheer of the Israelites.

The Israelites kill all of Jericho's citizens except Rahab and her kin, who are accepted into their community. All of this per God's command.

Wow, that's a lot of sevens, a lot of miracles, and a lot of death.

Here's the thing about Jericho: It lay in a rift valley, and the area is historically prone to both earthquakes and landslides, which have been noted to block the Jordan for days at a time. The fall of Jericho's walls...could very well have been the result seismic activity.

If we take the recounting at face value, God likely triggered an earthquake, which caused the walls to fall.

Sound familiar?

What's also interesting about the Battle of Jericho is that there is no mention of Satan, the Devil, anything of that sort. It's just God vs Jericho on behalf of the Israelites. It's Old Testament (OT), and it's projected to have happened in 1400-1500 BC, whereas the New Testament (NT) material is all AD. (Jesus's crucifixion happens in 33 AD, and Book of Revelation is set in 81-96 AD.)

We know the OT God is highkey obsessed with 2 main things: Truth and Oppression. This guy hates being lied to, having oaths broken, being betrayed/deceived/not obeyed, etc. He has very strict commandments for his followers, and he isn't keen on people going against them. He hates human oppressors and is avid about punishing them in massively brutal ways (see: the Israelites and the King/People of Jericho). OT God is a wrathful God, and from the point of view of some...an oppressor himself.

If the other thing didn't sound familiar...boy...doesn't that one sound familiar?

Not gonna tell you who it sounds similar to yet, though. We'll save that for later. No biases in my house.

Anyway, that's all well before Christ figures and Satan as a major definable force against God. In fact, there's almost no mention of Satan as a physical adversary in the OT. "Satan" in the OT literally translates to just...adversary/traitor. There's no mention of the devil as a single entity. We know there's a fallen angel, Lucifer, a serpent in the Garden of Eden, etc., but Satan as a single, definable, physical adversary who physically fights God? Not a thing yet.

This is very different from NT literature, where Satan/the Devil/the Antichrist/etc. appear as physical figures. This is especially apparent in Book of Revelation, in which Jesus and the heavenly forces literally fight the demonic forces with swords.

This is where it starts to get spicy.

Book of Revelation

I'm just going to give you all the Cliffs Notes, because John of Patmos was definitely tripping balls...and I don't want to subject you all to that:

John of Patmos has a vision of the apocalypse: It's Jesus's second coming and the decimation of the Earth. (This is debatable historically, but for the purposes of this section lets take it at face value.)

He writes of his visions to the 7 Churches of Asia: Ephesus: "He who overcomes is granted to eat from the tree of life, which is in the midst of the Paradise of God" - They are praised for not harboring evil, exposing fake apostles, and being a symbol of perseverance and patience. Smyrna: "Those who are faithful until death will be given the crown of life. He who overcomes shall not be hurt by the second dead" - They are praised for being rich in faith in times of hardship, and is told not to fear imprisonment for holding fast against false prophets. Pergamum: "He who overcomes will be given the hidden manna to eat and a white stone with a secret name on it." - They are praised as a faithful martyr, but admonished for sexual immorality, holding false idols, and holding the doctrine of both Balaam and the Nicolaitans. Thyatria: "He who overcomes until the end will be given power over the nations in order to dash them to pieces with a rod of iron; he will also be given the morning star." - They are praised for works of love, service, faith, and patience, but admonished for allowing a prophetess to engage in sexual immorality and holding false idols. Sardis: "He who overcomes will be clothed in white garments, and his name will not be blotted out from the Book of Life; his name will also be confessed before the Father and his angels." - They are told to strengthen their works in order to achieve perfection before God. Philadelphia (yes, Philadelphia): "He who overcomes will be made a pillar in the temple of God having the name of God, the names of the City of God, "New Jerusalem", and the Son of God's new name" - They are praised for keeping God's name holy, and is reminded to hold fast to what they have. Laodicea: "He who overcomes will be granted the opportunity to sit with the Son of God on his throne" - They are admonished for being lukewarm in their faith, reminded to be zealous. They're told to buy "gold refined in fire", white garments, and to anoint their eyes in salve so they may see.

The throne of God appears, surrounded by 24 elders. All of this happens before the throne of God: - The 4 living beings appear: A lion, and ox, a man, and an eagle. They are akin to biblically accurate angels, each having 6 wings and a multitude of eyes. - A scroll with 7 seals is presented, and only the "Lion of the tribe of Judah, from the Root of David" can open it. - The "Lamb of God, with 7 eyes and 7 horns" accepts the scroll, and all present bow before it.

The seven seals are opened: First Seal: White horse, Conquering. Second Seal: Red horse, War. Third Seal: Black horse, Famine/Hunger. Fourth Seal: Pale horse, Death. Fifth Seal: The souls of the martyrs, dressed in white robes, are told to rest until the martyrdom of their brothers is complete. Sixth Seal: A great earthquake, wherein the the sun goes dark, the stars fall to earth, and the sky rolls back like a scroll. Mountains are moved, and the people of earth hide within them from the "wrath of the Lamb". 144,000 Hebrews are marked upon their foreheads with the seal of God and sealed within the caves. Seventh Seal: Introduces the 7 trumpets, one for each of 7 angels. An eighth angel devastates the Earth with heavenly fire just before the 7 trumpets begin.

The angelic trumpets are sounded: First Trumpet: Hail and fire and blood rain upon the Earth and burn up 1/3 of plant life. Second Trumpet: A "great, flaming mountain" falls from the sky and devastates 1/3 of the seas. Third Trumpet: Wormwood, a great star, falls from the heavens and poisons 1/3 of all freshwater sources. (Radiationgate!) Fourth Trumpet: 1/3 of the sun, moon, and stars are darkened, casting the world into total darkness for 1/3 of day and night. Fifth Trumpet: The First Woe. - A star falls from the sky, and is given the key to the bottomless abyss. - The abyss opens, and the smoke of the giant abyss blots out the sky. - Locusts, in the form of humans with lions' teeth, wings like hoofbeats, and iron breastplates come and kill any who are not marked with the seal of god on their forehead (the 144k Hebrews from the 12 tribes of Israel). *** Sixth Trumpet: The Second Woe. - The four angels bound in the Euphrates are released to prepare two million horsemen. These armies kill 1/3 of mankind. Seventh Trumpet: The Third Woe, in preparation for the 7 Bowls. - The temple of God, in heaven, opens. There is lightning, an earthquake, and hail.

*** ST4 leaves off at the asterisks

The 7 Spiritual Figures, leading up to the Third Woe:

A heavenly woman is pregnant with a male child.

A dragon pulls stars from the heavens and awaits the birth of the child so he can devour it: The Archangel Michael fights this dragon, as it is revealed to be the devil. The dragon is cast out of heaven, and becomes obsessed with waging war against all the woman's offspring.

A Beast with 7 heads, 10 horns, and the names of blasphemy on his heads emerges from the sea: The people of the world follow the Sea Beast in wonder, and the dragon empowers the beast for 42 months. The Sea Beast goes on to blaspheme God's name and wage war against the Saints. He is victorious.

The antichrist/false prophet appears from the Earth: He has 2 horns like a lamb but speaks like a dragon. He instructs the people of the Earth to build a likeness of the Sea Beast, and all who participate are marked with the Sign of the Beast: 666.

The "One like the Son of Man", aka Jesus, goes and defeats the beast with the 144k Hebrews bearing the seal of God.

Heaven opens, and the 7 Bowls Revelation begins with the sounding of the Third Woe/7th trumpet.

The 7 Bowls Revelation:

First Bowl: "A foul and malignant sore" afflicts the followers of the Beast (Radiationgate Sweep!)

Second Bowl: The seas turn to blood, and everything in it dies.

Third Bowl: All fresh water turns to blood.

Fourth Bowl: The sun scorches the Earth.

Fifth Bowl: Total darkness and great pain floods the beast's kingdom.

Sixth Bowl: The Euphrates dries up, and the forces of good and evil prepare to face off.

Seventh Bowl: Another earthquake and hailstorm essentially flatten the surface of the Earth.

Aftermath Vision:

The Whore of Babylon and the Scarlet Beast are shown to John, revealing their identities and fates as such.

New Babylon is destroyed, and is mourned by its people.

Marriage Supper of the Lamb: Not a whole lot to say here, people praise God (...for decimating the Earth? Okay whatever floats your goat--I mean boat I'm not a satanist hahahaha what???)

The Judgment of the Beasts, the Dragon, and the Dead:

The Beast and the Antichrist: Both are imprisoned in the Lake of Fire.

The Dragon: He is imprisoned the Bottomless Pit for 1,000 years.

The Resurrected Martyrs: All of them live with God in peace for those 1,000 years.

After the 1,000 year time jump: - Gog and Magog: The dragon is freed, and goes on to deceive the corners of the Earth once more. He gathers them for a final battle against the City of God, and is defeated by heavenly forces, at which time he is cast into the Lake of Fire alongside the Beast and the Antichrist. - The Final Judgment: Death and Hades, along with the wicked who followed the Devil, are also cast into the Lake of Fire. This is known as the Second Death, and ensures that no more suffering or death may afflict God's chosen people.

New Heaven and New Earth:

After the fighting ends, the City of God meets the Earth and it's essentially a neat and tidy "eternal life, no more suffering, we're all in paradise with God" ending. The City of God is said to be a paradise for the pure and strong of faith, and God lives among them.

Phew. That was a whole fucking trip.

Most of it is a) allegorical and highly debated based on that fact, and b) highly disputed as to its accuracy as part of the Bible...because it was written by a second generation disciple 60 years after Jesus's death. On top of that, it just doesn't fit with the vibe of the New Testament. New Testament is very much about love and forgiveness, not wrath. Wrath is very Old Testament, which I'll come back to re: Brenner and Vecna...and Lucifer.

I'm not gonna delve into allegory tonight because while the Duffers are picking and choosing bits of the story, they seem to be taking it all very literally. That is to say, this isn't a perfect one-to-one, but what is there? Tells a story.

Let's review:

The 7 Letters: Max writes letters, a total of 10. However, we only focus on 7 of them: Steve, Lucas, Dustin, Mike, El, Will, and Billy. We don't know what they say inside, however it is interesting that Billy is the final letter, akin then to Laodicea (see: Laodicea's entry), which is essentially about lukewarm faith, white robes, and anointed eyes. Max lies to Vecna in her confession, wavers on whether or not she actually wants to die, and ends up in a white hospital gown with healing eyes.

The Living Creatures: - Lion: El in Brenner's lab has a lion doll - Ox: We've got a handful of cow references, the most prominent being 010 and Brenner's dog drawing. Funny how it all seems to tie back, huh. - Man: "He was nothing but an ordinary, mediocre man." re: Brenner and opening the Rifts. - Eagle: "Fly right, Bald Eagle!" re: closing the Gate.

The 4 Horsemen: - Chrissy: First, Conquest, our intro to Vecna Visions. - Fred: Second, War, our intro into the conflict between Hellfire and the Basketball Team. - Patrick: Third, Famine, presented alongside Hopper in Russia before the feast in The Dive (which is actually presented very similarly to The Last Supper). - Max: Fourth, Death, the fourth gate. 22 dead, and the death toll continues to rise.

The Fifth Seal: The martyrs are told to rest until the martyring of their brothers is complete. Max is in her white hospital gown, indefinitely in a coma.

The Sixth Seal: One of many great earthquakes in BoR, after which 144k Hebrews are sealed in the caves. We see one earthquake in the UD in The Dive, where Nancy, Steve, Robin, and Eddie are trapped in the UD.

The Trumpets: - First Trumpet: 1/3 of plant life is killed...I'm looking at the rot in ST2 and the dead flowers in ST4. - Third Trumpet: Wormwood, a great star, falls from the sky in and poisons all fresh water. The spores. Radiationgate. - Fifth Trumpet: The abyss opens, and the smoke from it blots out the sky. Fucked up "locusts" emerge and begin killing. The rifts open, and the smoke blots out the sky. Demo-creatures will spill out into Hawkins and begin killing.

This is where we leave off at the end of ST4. We have not met Satan yet. So far? It's all God.

God did all this, up until this point, as the beginning of a final reckoning for the sinners who populated the Earth. None of that was Satan.

Things do start to get complicated here...because we do technically have a false prophet of sorts. Jason. Jason inspires the people of Hawkins to go against the forces of good in the name of defeating the tragedy befalling Hawkins. He is killed by the Rifts. He is literally killed by a fiery pit. (More on this later, because it's more complex than it seems.)

What's spicy about all this is that...the forces of good are not the religious ones, the "pure" ones, the "normal" ones. They're the freaks. The "satanic cult". They're Hellfire.

So...What is going on in the house of commons?

If Vecna is meant to be Satan, the Antichrist, whatever...why is he so obsessed with truth, penance, and giving himself the artificial moral high ground? Why does he wait for a confession, explicit or implicit, to kill? Why does he torment his victims while claiming to be relieving their suffering?

Because he's punishing the sinners, and he's doing so under the guise of saving them/freeing them from their suffering. Punishing sinners is God's job, not Satan's. Satan punishing sinners is a misconception. Satan is being punished as much as anyone else.

Vecna has the ultimate goal of decimating the human world and remaking it into a "beautiful" place where he and those like him will never suffer or die. Vecna punishes people he deems to be bad until he receives an acceptable confession of guilt, and then he soothes himself about it by killing them and "relieving their suffering".

All things considered:

Vecna, 001, The One, is New Testament God...and plot twist: he's a wrathful dick who hides behind artificial morality...just like Old Testament God.

Okay...so what about Henry? Brenner?

In true Creel form...this is my first loop backward in time. I'm going straight back to the very beginning of Satan's story.

Let's talk Lucifer. God's most beautiful angel. Smart, powerful, capable...and cast out of heaven in disgrace.

His crimes? Daring to believe he and the other angels were equal to God, and later instructing Eve that she didn't have to obey God either, alerting her to the fact that God was hiding things from her. God didn't like that, and sent Lucifer to Hell as punishment.

I'm very very much seeing Brenner and Henry here. Brenner, a wrathful, controlling OT God. He shocks those who disobey (Henry), those who lie or whom Brenner would have you perceive as a liar (Henry and 002), those who oppress (002)...all while being an oppressor and liar himself.

Brenner also quite literally calls himself Papa. Abba. The Almighty Father...and he punishes Henry repeatedly and brutally for being a) uncontrollable and b) spreading information Brenner would rather keep hidden.

He takes away Henry's status as 001, gives him a fake name...and makes him watch as he oppress the other angel--I mean numbers through the same torment he once suffered with no way of stopping it. Henry himself calls it Hell. No one ever said Hell was literally and physically separate from Heaven. Hell is very much a state of mind, and experience. Victor is "still very much in Hell"...but he's in Pennhurst. Henry is in Hell in Brenner's lab. Hell is not a physical place, it is inescapable torment and suffering.

We also get many Lucifer shots of Henry during the Rainbow Room fight...but when his hair is in the Henry style. Not the swept-back Brenner style.

Example:

So Henry is Lucifer, then, right? He's definitely not God then, right?

Yeah. Exactly. He's the fallen angel, and he's also the serpent in OT God's garden of Eden, offering knowledge and awareness to the ignorant Eleve--I mean Eve. He inspires Eve--I mean Eleven to question Papa, who has trapped her in ignorance in the Garden of E--I mean Hawkins National Lab.

But...didn't we just say he's God? Well...no. Not exactly. I said that Vecna is God.

Are we ready for the mindfuck?

Henry and Edward, and the frankly unnecessary swapping in NINA.

As per Em's analysis of The First Shadow...it's highly highly likely that Edward Creel is Vecna, not Henry.

This absolutely tracks with multiple facets:

The cyclical nature of Brenner and one of the Creel boys re: behavior and appearance.

The inexplicable hairstyle change between whichever Creel is in the store closet and...whichever Creel is in the Rainbow Room.

The inconsistency between Vecna's retelling of his childhood...and the expressions of the Creel boy on screen.

Ok, so we've got Brenner as OT God the Father, clearly...but we have Vecna as NT God, 001, The One. That's two Gods in one timeline, and we can't explain how they all seemingly ended up in the same timeline...unless Martin Brenner, Edward Creel, and Vecna are the same person at different times in different circumstances. At least one of the Creel boys is shown to have time travel abilities. Martin Brenner, Edward (?) Creel, and Vecna behave very similarly. All this to say...they're very much seeming like the same guy. There is one God, and you shall not have any other Gods but me...and all that jazz.

Henry said he spent years with 001 in the Rainbow Room. Did anyone ever stop to consider that he may have meant that literally? Did we ever consider that we swap between Henry-hairstyle and Brenner-hairstyle throughout the Rainbow Room fight because El is being fucked with by Brenner/Edward/Vecna...and by extension so are we?

Some supporting evidence here: Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God) is very much about swapping places and experiences.

To Summarize: Brenner/Edward are God and Henry is Lucifer. Hellfire club is the satanic cult fighting God....while being the protagonists who believe they're fighting a dark wizard because his actions are horrible.

A clue into this narrative fuckery is Will's painting. The Party is depicated fighting a red dragon, which reeks of the red dragon of Satan. This is likely the represent the fact that they all see Vecna as a demon/monster/Satan figure, despite his God-coding. They see him as Henry...when he is not Henry at all. Vecna is very much God-coded, but he's represented as Satan in Will's painting because everyone sees his deeds as evil...and they are horrible and unjust...and they're all pinned on Henry, our Lucifer.

If there is a physical dragon, it's not going to be biblical...because the biblical dragon does not exist here. There is no satanic dragon, we just discussed that. The dragon is going to be something else, and I'm going to touch on that later.

I want to bring in another source to speak to Henry's probable innocence: Paradise Lost.

Paradise Lost (documentary series) was an inspiration for ST4 and Eddie/The Hellfire Club, specifically in that Eddie was misjudged specifically based on his interests and the way he looks.

Paradise Lost, the docuseries, is about Damien Echols as part of the West Memphis Three, who were falsely accused of brutally murdering and sexually mutilating 3 local boys. The West Memphis Three were Damien Echols, Jesse Misskelly, and Jason Baldwin.

Paradise Lost was originally a poem about Lucifer and the fall of Man. Lucifer is presented as the tragic yet villainous protagonist. His motivations remain very much "evil". I recognize this.

However, the Duffers didn't reference the poem. They referenced the docuseries, in which our "satanic cult" was never proved guilty due to lack of evidence. Just recently, in December of 2021, evidence that was supposedly destroyed in a fire was discovered to have been kept and catalogued by the West Memphis PD (source). The lawyers of the West Memphis 3 now believe all of them may be exonerated when the DNA testing comes back.

We know Eddie is caught up in the timeline fuckery, given the age change between his physical age (19, likely) and his poster age (17), and he also has the whole satanic ritual thing, which wasn't the truth at all. He was trying to stop the murders. This ties into Victor's "demon", who we believe to be Henry based on how ST4 is presented to us on the surface...but based on the surface view, Henry would be Vecna and through him...God. That makes the demon label categorically incorrect. Victor also says he heard the voice of an angel, which drew him out of his trance. Lucifer was originally an angel. However, in the other retelling, Victor is freed by Edward (?) passing out. There is no mention of music.

The thing here is...we have no evidence which conclusively links Henry Creel to any of these murders. We don't have concrete evidence of anything, other than the fact that the murders happened and that a Creel was involved somehow. We don't see the killing of the children. There's no footage of Alice's death. We're not even given the Creel boy's name in the second retelling. We have no conclusive evidence that that's Henry. We do, however, see a blood-splattered 001 in the lab...and a blood-free Henry (?).

Just like the West Memphis Three, there's no evidence of guilt for Henry in any of the murders. However, we also don't see a concrete Henry again after the blood-free shot. It's highly possible that Edward (?)/Vecna killed him. We simply don't know what happened to him.

Lucifer may already be dead by God's hand. We just don't know.

I'd also like to point out a couple of details re: Paradise Lost and Stranger Things:

Jesse Misskelly: Miss Kelley, who was supposedly seeing all of Vecna's victims, and who wears a pendant of a clock on a key. She also shows up on the board beside the Library-Progress poster, the Drama Club/Monologues flyer, and the Tutors Needed poster. There's no evidence that she did anything wrong, and it's likely she doesn't know any more than anyone else, but it's suspicious that she's so connected to Vecna/The Creels in both plot and imagery. It makes you question the depth of her involvement.

Jason Baldwin: Jason Carver. The guy I said was a false prophet, but who I also indicated is more complicated than he seems. The thing about Jason is that he is not knowingly a false prophet. If he had all the facts, he'd likely be siding with Hellfire. He's trying to fight what he perceives as the evil in Hawkins...based on limited information. Even so, he's raising an army to fight the evil, and Vecna is aware of that because it's happening in Hawkins. Jason is an adversary. Adverary. Satan. He believes it's Hellfire who is responsible, that Hellfire is in cahoots with Vecna, who is perceived as Satan. However, Hellfire is anti Vecna. When Jason blasphemes Vecna via Hellfire...he's unknowingly blaspheming God. Thus, the fiery pit. There was no true false prophet, just some guy who went mad with grief and didn't have all the necessary information and wanted to fight the evil that killed his girlfriend.

Along those lines, I also want to talk about Nancy's beast.

Nancy's beast should at least be representative of Satan, then, right? Not necessarily. The beast in Book of Revelation is highly symbolic, and is thought to be representative of the oppressive Roman Empire.

There's one player everyone seems to forget in Stranger Things: The US Military.

The military, who consume most of our national budget like a gaping maw, and who are currently coming after the person committing murders in Hawkins. The believe it's El, but the person they want is Vecna. It's exactly the same as Jason and Eddie. They're all unknowingly coming after God while chasing someone who isn't God. Like Hopper says in ST1...they're chasing the wrong kid.

All those with the sign of the beast will be condemned. Guns don't work on Demogorgons. The military, who bear symbols that designate them as such...signs of the beast if you will...will be decimated.

That isn't to say a beast won't appear. It very much may, but it's not actually linked to Henry/Lucifer. The beast is more likely representative of the US Military as an adversary of Vecna, just like the dragon in the painting is only representative of Vecna via narrative fuckery.

The dragon in the painting will not exist in relation to Vecna/God, hence it doesn't appear in Nancy's vision. The military does exist as an adversary to Vecna/God, hence the beast appears in Nancy's vision.

Adversary. Satan.

In true Creel fashion, it's time to loop back to the very beginning of this post.

Jericho. The working title of ST5. What did I say about the Battle of Jericho?

There was no Devil. Lucifer exists vaguely, somewhere offscreen. We don't know where he is. Satan, though, simply translates to adversary.

It was just God, an earthquake, and Jericho.

There is no "Evil Devil" in Stranger Things' rendition of the Book of Revelation. Henry may exist, but he also may have been dead before the plot even began. We don't know where he is. Our figures of Satan are just a collection of adversaries against Vecna.

It's just Vecna, an earthquake, and Hawkins.

Right?

Well. We've missed a couple figures here, haven't we?

Jesus, the Archangel Michael, and the Holy Spirit.

Will Byers (Guillermo Maldonado?) and Mike Wheeler...and the Shadow.

This is where we come back to the tone of the Book of Revelation in comparison to the tone of the New Testament.

The Book of Revelation is very out of place in comparison to Jesus' teachings of love, peace, and forgiveness. God goes ham in Book of Revelation, to the point of frankly unnecessary pain, harm, and cruelty. So why would Jesus, Mr. "Loves Saves All", get involved in that? Why would Archangel Michael, "healer of the sick and champion of goodness", get caught up in that?

Logically, they shouldn't. Unnecessary cruelty goes against everything they seem to advocate for.

Everything Vecna does goes against everything Will and Mike stand for. Byler won't have a villain arc. Byler will not join Vecna. Jesus is not going to join God, here...and neither will Archangel Michael.

Archangel Michael fights Satan's red dragon, which we discussed as nothing but a narrative distortion of Vecna and Henry when present in Will's painting.

However, the painting is not biblical. Will didn't literally paint Mike fighting the devil. It's DnD. That dragon is likely Tiamat, the evil mother of all dragons. She is very similar in personality to the Whore of Babylon, who rides upon Satan's red dragon, and who reeks of Virginia...and by extension Karen.

Mike is fighting the mommy issues dragon. He's fighting the physical manifestation of his neglectful relationship with his mother, and Will is going to be be his side to help him.

Classic Byler W.

Finally...The Shadow, our Holy Spirit.

I'd like to call attention to some wording surrounding the Holy Spirit and the Shadow especially in relation to Jesus.

Luke 4:1: Then Jesus, full of the Holy Spirit, returned from the Jordan River and was led by the Spirit in the wilderness.

Matthew 10:20: For it is not you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you.

John 16:5-7: Holy Spirit cannot come to help you until I leave. But after I am gone, I will send the Spirit to you.

Acts 2:1-4: Suddenly a sound came from heaven. It was like a strong wind blowing...The flames separated and settled on each of them. All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit.

In ST2, Will is possessed by the Shadow via Vecna. One might say he is full of the Shadow. When Will first sees the Shadow in one of his visions, there is a strong wind. He becomes more and more replaced by Vecna/the Shadow as time goes on. Vecna speaks through Will. Joyce asks "What happens when my boy is gone?"

In ST3, once Billy is all but gone, when Vecna can truly speak though him, he begins to send the Shadow to others. They were filled with the Shadow.

Then, in ST4, we see the Shadow in Russia. When asked about the freed/revived demodogs, the Russians say the Shadow "went into them". They were filled with the Shadow.

Are we convinced yet? Do we need more? How about this:

The Holy Spirit acts at God's command; it is an agent of divine action.

The Shadow acts at Vecna's command; it is an agent of his action.

All this, all these hundreds of words to say a few things:

In Stranger Things, Jericho = Book of Revelation.

There is no "Evil Devil" figure in Stranger Things. God is the bad guy.

Vecna is God, and so is Brenner.

Vecna is most likely Edward Creel.

Via the canonical time-travel powers of at least one Creel boy, Edward Creel and Martin Brenner are likely the same person.

Henry Creel is Lucifer.

Henry Creel is also innocent.

We don't know if Henry's alive or not, and if he is alive we don't know where he is.

Mike's dragon is most likely Tiamat, the DnD Mommy Issues Dragon.

The Duffers ship Jesus and Archangel Michael. Deadass.

A few interesting but ultimately unnecessary details below the cut:

In 1984, the same year ST2 is set in, Depeche Mode released Blasphemous Rumors. It's a song about the perceived cruelty of God. In it, a girl attempts suicide and fails. She finds new life in the church, only to be struck by a car and killed. The chorus goes: "I don't want to start any blasphemous rumors, but I think that God's got a sick sense of humor // and when I die, I expect to find Him laughing."

U2 released Joshua Tree in 1987, the year ST5 is supposedly going to be set in and/or skip. It was immensely popular and jam-packed with biblical references. The Mormons (Suzie!) named the physical Joshua Tree is named after biblical Joshua...the same Joshua from the Battle of Jericho. Here's some more about The Joshua Tree:

Book of Revelation is a wartime piece. It's highly debated as to whether it's an actual vision, or if it's just John of Patmos, a second-generation disciple embittered by Jesus' failure to return as promised to save his people from the Romans, writing a fix-it fic where God brutally kills everyone except John's people. Is it a vision? Is it God? Or is it just the vengeance-porn work of a traumatized second-generation disciple who feels abandoned? No one actually knows. Is Vecna literally God? Or is he just a traumatized, abused boy who wants vengeance on the society that harmed and abandoned him? No one actually knows.

Kronos, in Greek mythology, is the god of time. He's the father of the Greek gods, all of whom he tried to consume. He is equated to Father Time in modern folklore. Edward (?) Creel has time travel abilities...god of time...Father Time...Papa...Brenner...consuming the Greek gods...consuming the numbers...just something to chew on.

Henry's costuming seems to be modeled after altar boy robes, both as a child and as an adult. We all know about the rape scandals with altar boys in the Catholic church. The Pope, God's official mouthpiece to the world, let it happen. Priests, also referred to as Father (cough Papa cough) were involved in raping boys...and the Pope covered it up. God, essentially, let it happen. Both our God figures being rapists, specifically of children/boys, may be a commentary on this scandal.

#i'm henry creel's defense lawyer via meta analysis #free my boy henry!!#this was a monster to research and write #henry creel #edward creel #edward/vecna/001 #martin brenner #stranger things analysis #stranger things jericho #stranger things and the bible #stranger things book of revelation #st5 predictions #tw rape #tw csa

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lower-management · 1 year ago

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//ooc

Some Beelzebub headcannons of mine cause why not (there is some angst), also some can be quite specific

-they have a sweet tooth

-(this one is my favourite) God made it so when she casted them out of heaven they could never feel full again, not only regarding food but regarding everything, no matter how much they have, how much they know, how much they eat (both metaforically and literally) they'll never feel full and/or satisfied. Their last hope was that after armageddon they would've been able to feel satisfied and full once more, they still wonder if it would've worked. Falling in love with Gabriel did not "cure" this thing

-after armageddon't they had quite a difficult time understanding the purpose of it all, in the end they just realized whatever God had going on they probably would not be able to change it so they just resorted to continuing their days in a loop, they still think about it tho

-the fact they're kinda short for a demon was on purpose, Hell is cramped and a smaller stature helps moving around quicker, also it gives them a slight advantage if fighting someone full enough of themselves to underestimate them

-they enjoy rejecting paperwork for the most absurd reasons possible (even tho it's more of Dagon's invention to do so). Signed the document in a blue pen instead of a black one? Ya gotta restart from the very start buddy

-they still haven't quite grasped the concept of gender

-they keep their nails long-ish so that they can scratch/hurt others easily

-they know math, they know weird facts about biology and science but spelling? Fuck no

-for sometime they were worshipped as a deity, they liked those civilizations cause they felt like even tho they were doing almost nothing to help they were still better at being a God than her herself. They're still bitter over the destiny those civilizations faced, which also fuels a certain hate of theirs for the romans

-nothing can shock them anymore, literally, they've seen things

-they have trust issues, like, lots of them

-sometime after the fall (not much tho) they led a rebellion against satan as they felt like he was not taking organizing Hell as seriously as he should have. Satan was impressed and ended up rewarding them with their status

-they fully believed their feelings for Gabe were just anxiety for the longest time

-they kin Yzma(the disney villain), this one doesn't need much context

-they listen to Moon Walker and Caparezza

-(this is attached to the 9th one) they had to let the civilizations that worshipped them die/be conquered and so on because it was "needed for the great plan to work" and they were forced to watch, it's still a sore wound

-they sometimes use old words or expressions just because (example: saying courting instead of flirting)

-after armageddon't things did not go well for them, in fact a duke tried opening up a dispute to overthrow them and take their throne taking advantage of the situation. Needless to say Beelzebub was enraged and destroyed the duke in the most cruel way possible.

-as they are literally gluttony in person while someone else can technically do their bureaucratic duties they cannot be replaced.

-shiny things? They love 'em, but strong (especially artificial) lights? Can bug them, cause flies have a raised sensibility to lights so it would probably overstimulate them.

-they developed a weird kind of arachnophobia after the fall. They're not afraid of spiders but they get pretty anxious around them and don't get close (cause, ya know, spiders eat lots of flies and while there are many animals who eat flies it's more about what they represent because God's a bitch that way)

Can't think of anymore, maybe if I remember them I'll put 'em here

#beelzebub headcanons #Good omens #GO #Beelzebub #Ask beelzebub

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outeremissary · 9 months ago

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Actually good gameplay/bad story vs. bad gameplay/good story poll has me thinking a lot about "bad gameplay." I feel like that's often treated as a really binary thing, but like. How many games out there is this subject often hotly contested on? How many older games, how many cult classics? I feel like for every game with "bad gameplay" there's at least one person defending the impact it has on the experience and atmosphere of the game. I've seen someone get heated about the idea of making inventory limits in older RPGs more lax when porting the games to modern systems because it removes stakes from the game to be able to carry More Items. You lose an edge of puzzle and of wilderness survival. The inventory management question is one that often pops up in discussions around horror games as well- what's a badly designed inventory and what's one that's frustrating intentionally? Or one that's excusable by the limits of its age? Is clunky combat bad in a combat heavy action game, or can it push the game's genre to suggest something else atmospherically? I really enjoy defenses of gameplay that's "bad" or "obsolete." I haven't been playing Dragon's Dogma 2 and have no way to judge one way or another, but I have heard it called unfriendly, backwards, and bad by detractors and unfriendly, backwards, and good by defenders. It's so fascinating where people draw the line and what criteria they use to determine what's passing and failing. And then when there are whole mechanics people love or hate too! I was looking at escort mission discourse just today. Conversation where on the one hand some people believe there's no way at all to attain a theoretically possible good implementation of an escort mission, while other people see even the most player unfriendly implementations as a challenge of player skill rather than a failure of design.

I don't really have anywhere I'm going with this, I just felt that the more I thought about it the more interesting it was because of the ways that gameplay could be interpreted through age, technical implementation, genre, and player tolerance in ways very distinct from how story and writing are judged. I think "good gameplay" as a concept is often positioned as gameplay which is snappy, clean, and accessible (accessibility exception carved out for games that sell themselves as Hard Games) with precise and technically well crafted controls, but I've seen so many cases for good gameplay being the absolute fucking opposite if it produces an interesting play experience. And you could say "oh, that's determined by the intent of the creators," but do you always have a way to know their intent? And how many games come together actually according to plan, with no schedule slippage and everything implemented exactly according to vision?

To use an example near and dear to me- yeah, I'm not leaving the Kingmaker in the tags after all- a part of Kingmaker's gameplay loop is kingdom management. You're exploring, fighting, and interacting with the world, but you're also coming to rule it through the kingdom, and this has to be balanced as a part of this loop just like all the other pieces. Kingdom management feeds back into the other pieces of the game- it gives mechanical benefits, it opens up new interactions, and when you explore it backfills the empty space you leave behind with something new, the kingdom, which can be further transformed. It also fills a different kind of empty space, the temporal space between chapters, and gives you meaningful choices to make when the plot isn't at a fever pitch by making it so that how you use your time has stakes beyond what exploration and quests provide. Kingdom management is also timer dependent and RNG heavy as fuck, and at points can feel very unfair even if I'd argue it seldom ever traps you and never traps you without an actual reason. It's also situated in a genre, the RPG, where RNG is seen as an acceptable and even expected part of gameplay systems. For me, kingdom management enhances the experience of the game and is an extremely worthwhile addition to the gameplay which plays in enjoyable ways off of other aspects of the gameplay. It's a part of a memorable and fun play experience. But so many people fucking hate kingdom management and see it as not just something they dislike, but something which is Bad in design and implementation. It's positioned as disruptive, unwieldy, player unfriendly, overwhelming, and arbitrary. And I see the case for all of those points. And I don't think there's any final way to objectively settle whether it's Good or Bad, and that ultimately what it gives to the game very much comes down to player preferences and playstyle. How you interact with a game gives these systems their meanings and impacts.

I don't really have a conclusion to this. It's just kind of word vomit getting the thoughts out of my head. ^^;; But I don't know. I think it's something really interesting, the fact that there's not necessarily an objective way of seeing gameplay as good or bad the same way that there's not an objective way to see a story. I answered that poll "bad gameplay and good story," but when I think about the games that make me choose that, it's not like they're unplayable even if sometimes I truly hate the experience of playing them. I think that their gameplay gives them meaning, specificity, and staying power in my mind for how I experienced the game because of this gameplay in a way that games with "good" gameplay can't always provide.

#I feel like I'd get kicked out of game theory 101 for going into this without concretely defining and exploring what 'gameplay' is #forgive me... I am an amateur #rambling #my friend had to listen to me rant this out live on discord.#long post #oops??

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roadandruingame · 9 months ago

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RaR Musings #17: Simulation in Games

I got into it lately on the merits of game design, and definitions of mechanical tropes like roguelike and roguelite, and whether rpg, jrpg, RP game, and roleplaying game all had different feels, and if a game like Alan Wake counts as an rpg or not. (To be clear: If a game has you play as a character, who makes decisions as a cross reference between that character's identity and the environment and challenges at hand, in a way that defines the character or changes them in some way, it's a roleplaying game. This means that just about every product people recognize as a 'game' released in the last 30 years is, likely, a roleplaying game, in some way, because it turns out, people like when you attach narratives to things.)

Roguelikes have existed for years, but really came into their own in the last decade, because the promise of an enjoyable, if difficult, gameplay loop that rewards player skill and requires significantly less brute-force design work by the developer. It means you can have a lot MORE game, with a lot more playtime, for less, relative to a game where every dungeon is hand-crafted and every enemy and item intentionally placed. But, because the game throws the entire catalogue at you from the get-go, there's an enormous learning curve, and without a sense of progression, many get bored or frustrated. Rogue-lites took the idea of the roguelike, and made it more consumer friendly, enabling progression over time, but still with major losses from death in randomly-generated environments.

Tabletop games follow these concepts as well. In a ttrpg, a host player meticulously crafts a dungeon, placing enemies and items; an enormous amount of work, and without a library of pre-built campaigns, one that leads to DM burnout sooner or later. Some games provide randomly generated tables, but having to reference tables and subtables doesn't feel very fun; that's computer work. Other games try for a mix of the two, with a host that helps ensure content is distributed smoothly, but the game is mostly running by itself, and so there's less work on the host's shoulders.

In each of these cases, there's different degrees of Simulation: a natural follow-through, where Action A, produces Result B, but that in turn, leads to Result C, and so on, but sometimes, a host is responsible for deciding what the Result is, forcing Action themselves or by presenting a scenario to another player, or stopping the Result chain for narrative or balance reasons. Often, a computer is designated the host, and it's ability to make these determinations are a simulation in itself, based on random number generation, weighted by the designers of the game. It's the main reason why a game like Baldur's Gate 3 can have up to four players, and none of them are actively causing the game to function, or even just one player, who controls multiple characters, but still doesn't cause the game to exist.

But tabletop roleplaying game enthusiasts are shy of this. They want to feel immersed, that their game and world and characters are real; they don't want to know that it's random, or that the DM just decided something arbitrarily, or made it up. They don't want to see how the sausage is made, because somehow it's less impressive if it's the result of hard work, and not effortlessly conjured to your dinner plate. It's also this distinction that spooks most players out of ever evolving into a dungeon master themselves: they worry that they need to have somehow ascended to become brain-kin with the fantasy world and master all it's mechanics and intricacies, to memorize statblocks and enemy and item locations, maps and lore and and And and. The revelation that a lot of the time it was made up on the spot disgusts them, because it threatens the immersion.

I muse about this because I'd set out to make Road and Ruin explicitly playable with no dungeon master. Host responsibility is shared around the table, either together, or passed to the next. A certain amount of simulation is required, then, to make sure the game actually functions, but the notion that each player would be responsible for taking turns coming up with what happens next disgusts and horrifies people. They want to feel immersed, not be taken out of it, and they want to guess what happens next and be proven right, not make up what happens next and then it just does. But in all the "the DM is a player too! :)" arguments I've ever seen, never have I ever heard anyone acknowledge that these benefits of immersion and not knowing what happens next extend exclusively to the adventurers, and never to the DM themselves. Sure, players can do things that the DM didn't anticipate, but that means work rather than discovery, as the DM scrambles to make up what happens next, not merely just guessing and being proven right.

Road and Ruin has been described as (read: accused of) being a game that only dungeon masters can play, because only dungeon masters are versed in the techniques being employed here. Which is a really interesting argument, because, like... why do games like DND build their entire functionality around the existence of these supposedly rare people? While it's true that not everyone is an artist or designer, or versed in fantasy or storytelling tropes, why is it the only concrete way for players like this to get to PLAY a game is to rely on a computer to take the reins from them? That a DM can be a player, but that a player can't be a DM?

If nothing else, I'd want Road and Ruin to have enough simulation elements that I, myself, could be a player in the game, WHILE being the host. That I could generate the story as I go, and be proven WRONG, make mistakes, and die, not just spend tens of hours lovingly crafting a narrative and building a world, only for everyone to trample it and litter, climbing aboard the magical mystery tour, expecting to be trucked from one narrative moment to the next. That I could show, by example, how exciting it is to come up with plans, and the twist of being proven wrong, and that other players might be emboldened by it to the point of wanting to try it for themselves. And finding, it's not actually so different from how they were playing before.

I still struggle with reducing the amount of math baked into the simulation, and make it more about player choice, but I also have to have systems where Something Happens, regardless of where the players are and if they're doing anything to provoke it. Realizing you've dropped your wallet somewhere after you've been travelling for hours, making the choice to look for it, meeting someone who found it, and getting to learn about who they are and what they're doing there, or finding a hidden cache of treasure, but it's too much for you to carry by yourself, certainly without notice, are both things I made up on the spot based on the same [GOLD] card, out of a deck of 52 cards, but with a diceroll determining the event was "Bad, but resolved", and "Good, but at a cost". If the game needs someone like me to be able to come up with those conclusions as the game master, then by all means, I'll do it, but as a player, I had no idea those events were going to occur, and I'll be just as capable of making decisions about what to do about them as everyone else at the table.

#indie ttrpg #road and ruin #ttrpg #ttrpg design

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liliallowed · 1 year ago

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go to exp. don't do school kids.

honestly though? I feel like splitting their soul would inevitability be the climax of this story.

like, do they choose being soulless or just... filled with this bloodlust?

maybe the concept is wrong...

reader feels like they're in between the state of accepting this violence as their identity and rejecting the soul... so like I think dream knows that?

it's not too late.

but I feel like the stronger the soul gets it's harder to not want to give into it.

but I feel like even nightmare isn't really aware of what he's dealing with...

the soul will probably turn on nightmare. it may be just an exp hungry urge right now... but maybe if it kills enough it'll begin to seek it's OWN control over the situation...

it's an anamoly. the same kin as au CREATORS. I feel like nightmare is underestimating this unknown lil heartless soul.

like... wouldn't it be funny that at some point the soul is like: nah man I'm bored of your bs, I'm taking control of the operation.

idk I keep thinking through the biased lense of the anamoly being DUSTS anomaly.

so by that logic working UNDER nightmare isn't gonna sit well with someone formerly playing ring around the Rosie with time and space in a loop.

a megalomaniac. and nothing will ever be enough to satisfy their thirst for more power.

I FEEL like given the chance... the anomaly will betray nightmare and help dream... and then betray dream too.

they're a trickster and extremely mischievous.

#laymewhereiamloved thoughts #crimson #idk #crimson is that you in there?#*looking at soul intensely* 👀👀👀👀

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decepti-thots · 1 year ago

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okay. okay ACTUALLY. i have thought about this and realised that i have an idea i like: houses are the version of landed gentry that exists in a culture where inheritance isn't a driving force of the social order. instead they revolve around ownership of hotspots.

concept: houses came about because at some point, some rich mechs came into possession of land that at one point or another revealed itself to be a somewhat regularly-spawning hotspot. whoever owned the land was therefore able to argue that the mechs that came out of the hotspot came under their jurisdiction in some capacity, allowing them to create formalized networks that are not in our terms families per se, but still created increasingly large and powerful structured organizations of interconnected mechs who would derive a certain amount of prestige from their association with the "heads" of those houses. i.e. the landowners. not quite family or kin, not quite employees, but able to both feed back into that house's collective wealth and land ownership through whatever work they did. and association with the preexisting members of the social elite who originally owned the places those hotspots popped up on ensured that mechs who came from those hotspots would in turn be given superior options for whatever job they were doing, creating a kind of self-fulfilling cycle of privilege. it essentially creates a version of "born into good circumstance" in the absence of heriditary wealth. you don't inherit, but the feedback loop means you get an inherent leg up and that leg up then feeds back into making your house more powerful, ensuring that the next set of mechs who come from that hotspot are similarly treated advantageously, because everyone wants to be on the good side of whoever is in charge of it. noone is ever going to quite inherit, unless there's an unexpected, "unnatural" death. which also opens up the possibility that the larger the house gets, the more the entire ecosystem becomes paranoid of sabotage from within even as everyone on the lower rungs has a strong incentive to suck up in the short term.

one interesting potential effect of this idea is that as time goes on, the size of the houses will expand, meaning that a potential dilution of the social prestige could come into play even as the house arguably accrues more power as an institution... but the gradual reduction and eventual stoppage of the hotspots becomes an existential threat to the continual growth in a way that means they exist in tension with the growing unease that causes for the planet.

SPEAKING of tension between the real world and MTMTE specifically trying to do inhuman social dynamics. lily has reminded me that everything about what MTMTE does with the minimus-dominus sibling/house relationship drives me nuts. it's very very clearly in a real sense a literal sibling dynamic; the idea of having a socially-enforced connection to someone you had no initial agency in and cannot easily drop voluntarily is integral to understanding why minimus has a relationship like he does to his (dead) brother, like without that "invisible thread that even disowning only highlights the existence of" element the role dominus plays in his story makes no sense. they are Literally Siblings, period. however. the narrative also acknowledges that this is not normal for literally anyone who does not have siblings and indicates that those without siblings- a rarity worth commenting on- it is in no way intuitive. (see: rewind not really understanding their dynamic in that DotL prologue scene.) it is something that i guess you understand if you have one and don't understand if you don't. this is propped up a bit by the fact that spark twins literally have a metaphysical "bond" that minimus references in mtmte and which is clearly established in its predecessor, last stand of the wreckers, as a physically real thing that other unrelated mechs don't have. however. the fact of the matter is that the idea you are Intrinsically Tied By Birth to your siblings relates to real-world considerations of "being brought up as dependents within family structures means you are in involuntary proximity in your formative years, usually" and "cultural narratives of blood relationships as inherently important are impressed upon people at a young age" that Cybertronians, in the specific fiction of mtmte, DEFINITELY do not have. so like. what the fuck does being a sibling even mean. siblings with inherent feelings about each other that have no parents they share. is it a thing where there's external cultural ideas about sparks that a "sparkbond" forces on them despite their cultural non-normalness overall. is it something to do with WHATEVER a HOUSE is. what is a house. literally WHAT ARE HOUSES. i am shaking this comic like "i understand these concepts are here to be emotionally evocative not Lore TM and i respect it and the sibling narrative is truthful and really underappreciated by fandom, but consider: I WANT YOUR WORLDBUILDING ABOUT THIS"

#i think this idea makes a lot more sense than 'family' ideas actually #and ties it into worldbuilding that fits into the central conflicts that drive how phase two sees the war as starting #the twins being siblings is still a thing but separate from what a house is #meta

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sunkingwrites · 2 years ago

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lil Denki brainrot for you rq <3

a lot of your Denki thoughts showed up on my dashboard, and as a certified head enthusiast, I can proudly say that I think Denki absolutely gives the best head <3

his tongue can do things- and he may make a show out of himself everywhere at anytime (all cute and in the most eye-catching outfits if you know what i mean✨), but the he will put on such a big performance when giving head— heck, anything oral he justhhdw

(and I know this is an old concept but imagine the little electrifying shocks that absolutely call for overstim I-)

"a lot of your Denki thoughts showed up on my dashboard," you say,, AS IF YOU AREN'T FOLLOWING ME xD ily mwah mwah

Well,, as a certified indulger in thirsts, I would like to agree that Denki gives the best head~ cuz i kin him and want to boost my ego? pffttt, couldn't be

uGHH, he is sUCH a pretty little drama king thooo- I am conVINCed this man has an oral fixation- with the tongue piercing that he has trained to channel currents into,, that metal ball could do some ungodly things to me and I would say "ahah thank you very much, have a great day! :D" sdgfhbjnsdk I'm getting off point-

Oversttiiimmmm, you already know I love him and overstimming- I feel like he gets so overexcited with sexy stuff that he just dives in headfirst (with consent of course, mwah <3) because he wants to make you feel so so good,, he needs to hear his name on your lips- you are his and he is yours and he is just so enamored that you like him. Even with his weird habits and even though he thinks that he's annoying you more than half of the time.

The fact that you actually like him,, gods- it just gets him going. So yeah, he's there to do whatever you need. With all that talking and goofing around he does, he can do a lot with his tongue.

-I just tied my hair up and rolled up my sleeves. This is getting serious- :D

no gendered terms are used for the reader,, Denki calls the reader "babes" once ☆

Denki is the type to tease. No matter how good he wants to make you feel or how much he wants you to cum on his tongue- above all, he wants you to need him. This comes out in him wanting to hear you beg; he wants to know what you're thinking, how you're feeling, specifically how he's making you feel.

He'll look up at you with big shiny eyes, while his tongue runs up your folds at a painstaking pace. He lives for the way you pull his head closer by his hair, desperately signaling you want more of him. He'll raise an eyebrow at your desperation, leaning in closer to taste how wet he's already made you. You need him, and he knows it. But he needs to hear it from you.

"What's up, babes? This not enough for you, oh- do you want more of me? Is that it, I'm just tooooo irresistible~"

His eyes will widen when you smile down at him, such a fond expression from someone he loves so dearly is bound to set him off. He'll practically start drooling when you tell him how much you need him.

You'll have a front-row seat. The best spot in the house to watch your mischievous fox turn into a drooling puppy.

The sounds he makes while eating you out are downright filthy.

With his nose bumping your sensitive clit, his tongue dances between your folds like a professional ice skater, performing figure eights and loops that could wow even the toughest critics.

His ears are pink at the way your cunt is gushing into his mouth, brain working overtime as it tries to commit every single sound and twitch and whimper to memory. He starts to lose his mind in between your legs, forgoing oxygen in favor of your scent to sustain him.

The way his tongue moves between your erogenous zones, your oversensitive clit and your puffy folds. He intuitively knows how to keep the pressure steadily building until your legs are squishing the sides of his head.

Your climax comes faster than expected, more quickly than it ever has, and even when your head jerks back and your fingers tangle in his soft blond hair, he keeps going.

He channels small bouts of electrical current from his body into the ball of his tongue piercing.

Then he flattens his tongue against your dripping entrance, toying at your clit with the charged piercing in his tongue.

Cracks of electricity soar through your skin, tingling your spine and making you physically shiver as your mind goes blank. Your hands slacken and fall limp at your sides as you rake in jagged breaths.

In a panic, Denki wrenches himself from his spot between your legs and clutches your head in his hands.

Your eyes are rolled back to the heavens, and just as he's about to ask if you're alive, you mumble out something unintelligible.

"What-- what was that? Come on, say something!" Tears threaten to fall in the corners of his wide eyes.

Taking in as deep a breath as you can manage, your eyes slowly focus in on him, a fucked out smile adorning your face as you gaze up at such a sweet boy. Your voice comes out hoarse, as if you'd been screaming for the last hour.

"I just came so hard I think I saw the afterlife," your eyes trail lazily down to his open mouth, "Can you do that thing with your tongue again?"

"OH GODS, YOU'RE ALIVE!!" He looks about ready to rip out his ponytail.

#sunkingchats #ollie <3 #denki #denki smut #sunkingthirsts #denki kaminari #i- ahusjahjg #denki brainrot #denki thirst #the thirst is just- unreal #this is so self-indulgent thank you olliiieee #i love writing about him so so much- it's like getting to channel myself into a character-- like what if i was blond?? and a fucking twink?#denki x reader #denki <3

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walkingcorpse03 · 3 years ago

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top 10 favorite anime ☆

1. Angels of Death

A darker anime overall, but it has cute and humorous undertones. All of the characters have really cool designs and there are lots of lovable characters if you like stranger personalities. The two main characters have a heavy found family trope and the concept is really interesting and kept me focused the entire time. It’s my all time favorite anime. (Genre: Psychological Horror)

2. Snow White with the Red Hair

My all time favorite romance anime. It’s very beautiful and the animation is fun to watch and just drop dead gorgeous. It’s one of the only romance anime’s I've seen where 0 characters are sexualized, which is very important to me. This anime has the CUTEST FOUND FAMILY TROPE I’VE EVER SEEN JESUS I LOVE THEM ALL- Also all of the characters are really well written and the story flows really well. It it definitely my comfort anime. (Genre: Fantasy, Romance)

3. Toilet-bound Hanako-kun

This anime gets the 3rd spot because the story honestly never gets old and is juts so interesting. The art style is also very pleasing to the eye. There are so many lovable characters and it’s just a feel good anime. The design, art style, characters, animation, and voice acting on the sub and dub are just amazing and it’s another one of my comfort anime’s. (Genre: Comedy, Supernatural)

4. Bungou Stray Dogs

I am in love with this anime. It has some of my hands down favorite characters and all of the designs are so cool. All of the characters are so well written and interesting to watch. The story is complex, but has so many meaningful undertones and the animation is beautiful. There are almost too many lovable characters to choose from and they each have their own story which is just as complex as interesting as the main plot. 10/10 I love. (Genre: Action, Comedy, Supernatural)

5. Assassination Classroom

Another anime that can be perceived as either really light-hearted or kinda dark. There is a full cast of really lovable characters like most of the anime’s on list, but Nagisa has a special place in my heart which is why this one is so high up on the list. The anime is really good and has a pretty interesting story and I ended up really attached to some of the characters and the family vibes they all have together. (Genre: Action, Science Fiction, Comedy)

6. Devils Line

Devil’s Line is an acquired taste for some people, which is understandable because the story and concept is pretty dark overall, but the relationships between the characters are just so sweet and they're super interesting to find our more about. I mean a vampire romance??? I think yes. It does have a lot of blood in it so if that is something that makes you uncomfortable this might not be the one for you. This anime is one of my all time favorites and it will be forever. WE NEED A SEASON 2 ISTG- (Genre: Dark Fantasy, Romance)

7. My Little Monster

This is probably my second favorite romance anime of all time. I love the characters and the art style. It’s just so pretty!! The characters all have their own problems and quirks and it’s one of the only anime’s that has a character that I guess I “kin”. Shizuku is one of my favorite anime characters in general so that also makes this anime have a special place in my heart. No but anyways this anime is honestly one I could watch again and again I love the characters and the story so much. (Genre: Romance, Slice of Life)

8. Stars Align

The only sports anime on this list because it’s just amazing like that and SEVERELY UNDERRATED. There is not only LGBT+ support and representation, it’s GOOD- The story is amazing and the characters are just so lovable and unique from each other. All of them are amazing and I love them. The ending threw me through a loop like c’mon we need a season 2!! It’s just so emotional and impactful, I just love it Anyways, this one needed to be on list and is hands down my favorite sports anime and one of my favorite anime’s overall. (Genre: Drama, Sports)

9. Yona of the Dawn

FOUND FAMILY! FOUND FAMILY!!! ALL and I mean ALL of the main cast is so lovable and the chemistry between the characters is so cute and it makes this a comfort anime for sure. The story is so interesting and you can see just good character development throughout the entire plot. In addition to the amazing characters and story the animation is beautiful! I just recently watched it and I was pleasantly surprised by how much I actually liked it. (Genre: Adventure, High Fantasy, Romance)

10. Erased

One of the most emotional and beautiful anime's I’ve ever seen. The story is SO interesting and I think it’s one of the most amazing anime’s ever created. I love all of the characters and the concept is just beyond me. I would recommend this anime to everyone in existence. 100/10 please watch this. (Genre: Mystery, Thriller, Science Fiction)

__________________________________________________

Honorable Mentions ☆

- Given

GORGEOUS, BEAUTIFUL, AMAZING- I love this damned anime so much. The representation is not only amazing, but the story is really interesting and I because of that I became attached to all of the characters very quickly. (Genre: Drama, Romance)

- Sk8 the Infinity

I love this anime so much!! All of the characters are so cute and I honestly was really involved in the fandom as well which is rare for me. The story is so cute and I am PRAYING for a second season. (Genre: Comedy, Sports)

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eldritch-spouse · 3 years ago

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As far as I read, Krulu is the only monster who able to put a child in us

[An interesting topic. Yes, he can technically put a "child" in you, but so can many other monsters who have become much more humanoid throughout time as a result of repeated reproduction almost exclusively with humans.]

(Minors dni)

TW: Mentions of cannibalism and starvation; breederism(?).

Krulu and offspring (fem reader)

Krulu is not interested in reproduction, but he would put a spawn in you in case you wanted to simulate an actual pregnancy. Key word here being "spawn". In higher culture, spawn is different from offspring. A spawn is a creature a creator makes, it's not the same species as a higher and does not require any second party to be created. It's a new breed of organism entirely, a species. Offspring, on the other hand, is the child of two highers or one hermaphroditic higher who is able to impregnate itself (these are rare, it's Krulu's case).

Krulu is very hesitant about the concept of creation nowadays, after his grotesque betrayal by his own kin, he's deathly afraid the same will happen. That he will be found and his spawns will be heartlessly eradicated. He will not be able to cope with that twice. So he doesn't get your hopes high from the beginning, nor do you beg for it, which is very appealing to him. But alas, he reads you front to back like an open book. You're always so curious about the process of creation, there's this shine to your eyes as soon as he even mentions the word. You may never actually say you wish for a family, but Krulu spots this solemn longing on your face when you see big families on TV.

Krulu himself will admit he misses the company of his creations, the communion was his respite from the clutches of an unsatisfying life. So he ponders, should he give in? After a day or two of watching you staring at the screens like a sad sap, Krulu makes up his mind up. He will give you one spawn, as a test.

You're in the early stages of preparing the next special dinner banquet up, removing nails and other pesky physical growths out of the man lying prone on the large kitchen isle, when your worship approaches. You give him a respectful welcome, assuming he is here to evaluate your work so far, but Krulu requests your full attention. He grins, perhaps a little excited by the prospect of creating anew, he had memorized the ins and outs of one of his most favored creations and has been tweaking its biology here and there in preparation. Mainly so that it would be compatible with your organism for incubation in the uterus. He poises a palm on the side of your face and asks, calmly, if you would like to gestate his spawn.

To say you freaked the fuck out is an understatement. Immediately, you lose all breath, gasping and exhaling in sharp bursts. Unable to form coherent wording, tears start sliding down your face as you struggle to calm down. Krulu watches, outwardly calm, but inwardly burning with approval, to think you're so desperate to welcome his work, he's never going to let a catch such as yourself go. By the time you steady yourself enough to beg, Krulu has already started to explain how the process would work. He plants a hand to your lower abdomen, asking for a confirmation he knows you would give instantly. And then, he leaves you to work. It's cruel and he knows, you can barely work properly, thoughts looping between images of you bloated with your worship's projects, welcoming servants of Krulu into the world, being the mother of what could one day become a population, a beautiful reign, the most glorious of families.

It happens as soon as dinner is over. You've been unsubtly staring at Krulu the whole day, he never did tell you when it would happen. Very much aware, Krulu enjoys teasing you for your eagerness, making you wait, fleeting touches here and there that never really go anywhere. He's aware you've opened your mouth a consecutive number of times, as if to voice something, but never really finding the nerve to express it. Endearing really. He beckons you over, intercourse is not inherently necessary to plant a spawn in another organism, but he wants to emulate pregnancy for you. Fulfill your fantasy, in a way. The entire time, he hardly has to do a thing to prepare you, you're already riled up enough to crawl the walls. But he takes his time nonetheless, harsh skin blazing with the sounds of your want. He wished he had had you before, made his creations with you as the perfect lesser who would birth them, the more he thinks about allowing this to happen, the more he grows to see it as the most satisfying method.

By the time Krulu actually enters you, your walls are already convulsing as if moments from a speedy finish, and he lets you, undulating a prehensile member against the soft spots of your core. He feels nothing but benevolent today, so you're allowed to buck and cry and come as many times as desired. This process is more about you than him, all things considered. The final position entails your lower half held in the air by pairs of Krulu's many arms, flush to his hips as your spine arches on the bed and only some of your upper half slumps on the sheets, so very exhausted yet refusing to calm yourself in anticipation for the other's climax. Krulu hunches over you, nowhere near as composed as he usually is, drooling and snarling things in a tongue you fail to comprehend, yet it does nothing but incense you.

All at once, the versatile tip of his organ pierces your cervix, a dull pain setting in as Krulu pushes himself as far into you as he can and then a violent tremble courses his body as you're all but filled like some perverse water balloon. Plugged as you are, not a drop escapes, the bloating of your body forces a hiss of discomfort and pain out of you, but it is insignificant compared to the joy of knowing you are now swollen with what is to become Krulu's spawn. It takes long before he pulls out, your higher holds you in that position for long, petting your hair and belly in reward, sometimes casually rolling his hips while all manner of praise and reverent words are whispered to you. You've never been happier.

While you don't register much change for the first few days, Krulu is always keenly aware of the spawn's development, orienting your daily routine based on its growth. Now, one thing he had manipulated was the connection of the spawn to its gestating host. Generally speaking, higher offspring form deep connections with the higher who gestates them, to the point where needs and sentiments are clearly transmitted from one to another, hence how much more fickle these pregnancies are compared to human ones, seeing as specific and strong enough sentiments can stress the developing offspring into an untimely end. Krulu transferred this aspect into the spawn you hold.

From about the tenth day, you begin manifesting different behaviors, and Krulu documents them all inwardly.

1) Your appetite folds, it's a gradual process, but you begin eating more and more, no longer satisfied with one serving, you help yourself to a family-sized meal with no trouble. The being inside you hungers voraciously for any and all edible things, but you note that just as its creator, the spawn has a clear preference for flesh. Krulu no longer lets you "hunt" for him during this period, it is far too risky for you to be outside with a developing spawn inside you, he does bring home victims for you to cook however. More and more, he goads you into partaking of the meals, which you naturally do, feeling the ensuing satisfaction as your package tastes the flesh of humans. You'd say it likes it too much, because it hounds you to consume your kin all day, the repeated activity builds within you a taste for human- Which does not sit very well with you, but your priority is to keep the spawn in tip top shape, not uphold any moral standards. So you eat, joining Krulu on his feasts, ingesting almost as much as him. It delights the higher to see you so greedily sucking the flesh out of bones, the sight pleases him so much that he often feeds you himself. If only just to coo about how much of a good job you've been doing as mother for the creature, to feel you lave at his fingers while he strokes your gradually growing belly. As time goes on, you will experience Krulu's infamous bouts of famine, and he is there for you when you feel like you're dying, when you vomit because your stomach can't handle anymore but you're still starving- When the spawn weeps and wails in desperate hunger that you cannot satiate in any form.

It is a Hell you never knew up until now;

2) Maternal instincts, but on steroids. It kicks in, and it kicks in real fucking fast. Since the bond between host and spawn is established in a matter of days, the affectionate and protective tendencies have much more time to develop and intensify. They only get more pronounced the better the spawn is treated. You get anxious whenever you leave the house, like something's watching you, like danger is in every corner. The spawn expresses crystal clear trepidation and displeasure whenever the comforting smell of your dwelling is no longer sensed. If Krulu is nearby, the feeling is somewhat abated, but his absence leaves the two of you skittish and paranoid. In fact, you hover around Krulu a lot lately, because it makes you feel safer, the spawn wants to connect with its creator. You once almost snapped at Krulu when he was about to place a hand upon your exposed belly- He startled, and so did you, apologizing profusely until he grinned proudly and told you it was a very good sign. Aside from that, you avoid people like the plague, always keeping your distance and a bitch of a scowl, turned off by social interaction. You can always feel a pang of glee coming from Krulu whenever he sees you blatantly reject people. It's always such a fight for him to get you to distance yourself, yet now you casually do it without any prompt from his part. Krulu observes many soft moments between you and the spawn, you may not croon and click like many impregnated highers do to their offspring, but you sing and hum quietly, when you think he's distracted with something. Krulu can feel the waves of happiness that flood the spawn when you pay them attention, they have grown fond of your voice. There was a time where a tiny little hand pressed on the skin of your belly, and you entered a fit of joy as you placed your own over it, feeling the creature attempt to grasp it. You were moved to tears and Krulu was purring a storm.

Speaking of purring, the being is able to do it as well apparently, but since it is engulfed in liquid, it is more of a faint gargle one could mistake for the growling of a stomach. You sure as Hell feel the vibration though;

3) Sexual appetite. While normally all goes well, sometimes you experience sudden spikes of arousal that urge you to seek Krulu specifically. You know this is the spawn's doing, and even though you do not understand why it seeks the seed of its creator, you are far from complaining. Krulu was already expecting these symptoms to kick in a long time ago, and is only too happy to help. Admittedly, sex is much softer now, Krulu also begins to favor long and lazy sessions, ensuring he does not disturb your body too much as he lays you in comfortable positions and does much of the labor himself (which is surprising, given highers prefer to be worshiped). These sessions are long because he makes it a point to come multiple times inside you, as to satiate the spawn's biological need. As your libido skyrockets in the later stages of pregnancy, Krulu has to manage both your insatiable attitude and his own routine, which often results in a lot of casual and detached sex. A pair of hands will lightly bounce you on his cock while the remaining others busy themselves with his artistic crafts. He won't lie, he does enjoy having you glued to him all day. Other than these sporadic bursts of hypersexual states, your sexual appetite plummets entirely.

Krulu does tend to do small check ups here and there, which usually involve the insertion of two long fingers in your entrance, a way to more directly gauge the spawn's development. One thing that always irked you was the fact that Krulu never told you what the creature will look like, it kept you curious and restless, but you know it is anything except human. It purrs, probably has some from of claws because you have felt sharp scratching pains before, something deep in your mind whispers that it is dark like its master, all teeth and slit-eyed. It should irk you, but you are only anxious to welcome it into the world, to see your child- It's not really a child, it's a spawn, but you can't help the attachment. You once approached Krulu about names, and got told that since you were gestating him, Krulu will let you pick a name that you like.

It's a him, you thought happilly.

#Krulu oc #monster x reader #yandere monster #tumblr please just format things normally for once #terato

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