#time for me to go back into my fog
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aren’t you?
#i know i said 2-3 business days but um. i’m impatient#and i worked hard on this ok. tried some different stuff and i like how it turned out#wt i love you so much but you are a pain in the ass to draw#time for me to go back into my fog#myart#oc: needless separation#oc: weaving tales#uhhh. ehhh. fuck it he’s there for one panel it counts#oc: no way back#oc: fates torn again#mycomics
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...Um. Super, super late DP Invisobang 2023 art?
The fic by Rockity Sock is still an unpublished WIP so far, but it's really nice and will hopefully be completed and published later.
It begins at the end of the Ultimate Enemy episode, with Dan getting trapped in the thermos. And... I'm not sure how much I can say without spoiling it, but a lot of really cool stuff happens. It's a psychological type of fic, about different types of prisons and punishments, and has time stuff and pocket dimensions, and redemption stuff. (I was only planning on drawing one illustration for IB, but when I saw the WIP, I wanted to see so many things animated. So many awesome visuals. I wish I could've animated them all.)
This is the part I did animate:
He just walked for now, searching for the tiniest crack. The darkness went on for seemingly forever though, and no matter how far he walked it kept on going Dan kept moving He tried his best to break through the walls but every ectoblast he formed fizzled out. Fading into the darkness. Oh, now it makes sense. His powers are being limited, it takes him a few more tries to believe it. The fact that he’s trapped with nothing whatsoever. Endless hours spent, and wasted. Powers he has built up from the ground with no mentor, ones he trained endlessly after a decade. Gone, disappeared, muffled. Limited. Dan let out a laugh, one with no humor. A laugh that turned into a cackle, he couldn’t stop.
Here's Rockity Sock's AO3 account: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rockitysockity and tumblr account: https://rockitysock.tumblr.com/
(I also uploaded the video on deviantArt and YouTube)
#invisobang 2023#danny phantom#dan phantom#animation#asj art#...this took so much longer than it should've D:#I think it has 232 images of Dan.#I tried a few things for the fog rustle sound effect but I think I went with rubbing my hand back and forth across a soft comforter blanket#(I was originally going to go with swishing my hand back and forth inside a wet bowl but it'd ended up sounding like dry leaves.)#the cape sound effects are from snapping a little throw blanket up and down.#I forget now exactly what I'd used to made the zap sound. It took some time in Cakewalk to figure out and I'd tried looking up tutorials.#The moving background was made by making a 'bg tile' that I could stack horizontally.#And for the fog on the 'floor' there's 8 cycling images at the start of the animation and 9 cycling images for the end of the animation.#For the spin I was going to make 112 frames for the background ...but after working on it for awhile I realized it'd take really long. :/#So I reused the background tile but put it in reverse and overlaid a rotation version at the end. (...though the fog obscures a lot of it)#I'd used the magicposer website mannequin as reference to draw the key frames of Dan's spin.#I drew the images in Photoshop with the animation feature and then saved each one as a png.#Then imported them into Premiere Pro to add a few effects (the zoom for the first shot and the movement of the bg).#Lexx helped me a lot with figuring out music stuff and using Cakewalk for some sound editing.#But I also used Premiere Pro for some sound editing too.#(At one point I'd planned on animating three scenes and having a song in the bg. The growing sound in the first shot is the bass part.#(And things were going to be added onto the song in the other two scenes. ...But then I'd dropped the other two scenes.)#(I was also originally going to have Dan do two more quick ectoblasts after the first one but decided to cut them out for time.)#(also it's not that I can't draw hands. it's just that I knew it would take longer if I did. I'd decided to cut time by not drawing them.)#(...though most of my shortcuts ended up being long-cuts that also hurt the quality. ...Should've done things right.)
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Liam’s twitlongers were probably my second fav things after his funny tweets. The one I’ve always held dear to my heart the most is the one he wrote after Zayn left the band. I’ll never forget how he was always the first to step up and comfort us.
I’ve tried reading it all these days but either the link is not longer working or my phone is stupid. If anyone has a post with the full version or something like that, please let me know
#I regret not reblogging much back then so bad#I could have a better archive but instead I have most of it in my memories#which are inevitably going away because the fog after grief is real friends#I’ve seen my brain lose so much in the last 6 years#anyways#I think remembering Liam by his words is one of the most cherished things I’ll have until it’s my time to go#I know he like me struggled with finding the right thing to say or the right moment to say but I never never held it against him#he deserved so much more sympathy from the early days and it breaks my heart that that’s something that only got worse with time#I love you lima bean#Remembering Liam Payne
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hmmmmmaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
#I be like. stays in the fog all day despite doing all I can to pass time in a constructive and/or just fun manner#has a mini breakdown talking abt it#goes back in the fog#gets led out of the fog by a genuine good silly time with my roomies#the second I am conscious of that I have another breakdown and instantly go back to obsessively applying to jobs#gets told not to do that bc it’s past 9pm (which is objectively right and I need to not)#back into the fog#the interview I have tomorrow is for a place 1hr drive away. I’m. not in love with it.#but if I think about it for any longer I’m going to cry#and so I’ll just not think. like I have been.#god. my head hurts. get me the fuck out of here#vent#arty issues
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If you became super rich and could design your own house, but could only add THREE unnecessary/random/expensive home additions (like how people will have bowling alleys, movie theatres, closets with museums of shoes, car display rooms, spa rooms, wine cellars, etc. in their mansions) - what three would you choose?
#I think I would have: an indoor pool (but like heavily customized with a faux weather system so I could get the feeling of swimming in#rain or fog or snow etc.). a very small arcade consisting only of skee-ball and DDR machines. and an old Library Room with authentic#historical furniture/interior design to store old books/tapestries/study room equipment/whatever other antiques I'd collect. It'd be#like some fully intricate movie set or something that would feel completely like stepping into another world/time.#Though I might would trade out the arcade for a roller skating rink.. i DO love skating....#And I wouldve put rock climbing gym because I love indoor rock climbing but.. as I understand it they have to change out the rock things#on the walls every once in a while so that you can have new routes and it doesnt get boring. and I'd rather have an activty room thats like#self sustaining and doesnt require me to hire some person to come switch things around once every month. Otherwise I would#totally do that instead.#I'm also personally not counting ''craft'' type stuff like having a pottery room kiln sort of thing because#that doesn't count as 'unnessecary' to me. since stuff like that would not at all be just a hobby I 'happen to#do sometimes for fun'#but would definitely be a career sort of thing. Like if I had the money for a fully stocked sculpture room and and a sewing room#with a good machine and etc. then I would literally be professionally selling pottery and designing clothing and etc.#so I wouldn't count it as 'just a random side room I dont need' etc.#The same way that if I played tennis professionally or as a very intense hobby that takes up most of my life/time#then I wouldn't count having a tennis court in your house to practice in as 'unncesscarry' etc.#wow that is the worst I have ever spelt that word ghbjh#Un Cess Carry#ALSO would obviously have an underground bunker of some sort with food and emergency supplies which also does not count as unnecessary to m#since it's literally like... survival.. And I thought most health organizations literally reccomend that even#the common person has a small 'go bag' prepared in their house. and like an evacuation plan in case of fire or other things#It WOULD be an unnecessary rich person thing to have a full on undergRound village or something stocked with 9000 guns and#whaetever. but I think just a basic emergency room with basic supplies could still be counted under the 'not unnecessary' requirement.#Like I would say that a sprawling courtyard of flower gardens and fountains and hedge mazes that takes up like a hundred thousand#dollars a year in maintenance would count as one of the three 'unnecessary and expensive' things. But having a small garden in the#back yard with a few planters in a little greenhouse or whatever would not. The 'excessiveness' of the thing matters lol#ANYWAY!!!#Just curious what other peoples Three Main things would be... hrrmm
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1000 Followers Update!
Due to some super fun chronic health shenanigans, the posting for the 1000 Followers Celebration is being postponed a month! Posting will start on 2/2 with to all the ghost still standing in this room, and continue as previously planned from there. Thank you guys for bearing with me-- I struggled with the idea of even postponing for a week, but it became very clear on Monday that I would not be able to catch up with the schedule unless I took an extended break to recover. Can't wait to show you guys what I've got up my sleeve!
#1000 followers#i don't talk much about my illness struggles on here because without a word count limit#i would absolutely write myself into a terrible spiral talking about some of the very recent setbacks#but I do weekly goals up on twitter and I often talk about what's going on there#so it's only fair that i explain a bit in some tag chatter where i have to stay on task#to start: i'm fine and I'm going to be quick to recover now that i've gotten my meds#but due to all sorts of insurance bullshittery that has occurred since september/october#my last three infusions have been over a week late. two of them have been nearly two weeks or over#and coupled with a particularly nasty stomach bug + christmas stress#i ended up with extremely bad exhaustion and brain fog#and on monday finally flared#thankfully i was able to move my infusion up a day so I only had to wait until wednesday#and me and my husband had planned that I would be out of commission for the 10 days my meds were overdue#so I just had to triage my commitments and lay low until they could get me what i needed#it's been two days and i'm doing much much better. back to a place where I can actually write#probably at a better place than i have been since the beginning of December since today I nearly blew through 1K without even trying#but it's been 2-3 weeks of barely being able to scratch out what i consider my minimum#and then a week and change of not being able to even READ without it overwhelming me#so i finally had to face the music of: not only can I NOT do this on time but I need fully shift it#so that I can work without stressing myself or my limits#i am a rat gnawing at the bars of my little rat cage over it but it is what it is#tldr; i'm here i'm fine i just have to accept my human limitations and i don't like it
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my brain has been really out of whack recently (I think it's the time change among other things) so I'm going to try out some things to see if they help
I might not be on social media a whole lot in the next week or two, but if you're mutuals and want my discord, send me a message
#[static]#I cleared out my queue so I don't feel like I need to keep it going#I'm trying to limit my time on my phone since I've noticed that I've been getting sucked back into it for Hours every day which I *hate*#it's this weird paradox of wanting to keep up with my friends but also knowing that I get sucked into checking the rest of the app -#- that I need to figure out#tumblr is one of the few social medias that I don't get that sucked into but i do like to keep up to date with#for news and friends reasons#but im gonna basically not be using my phone at all except for music for the next while until my brain feels better#it's also the busiest week of the year in my line of work so i want to be sure im taking care of myself#my brain fog has been suuuper bad and being on my phone makes it worse#i wish we all lived closer so that i could just go hang out with ppl instead of being attached to my dumb phone#using phone = less time to do things i like too which also makes me mad when I do it#i dont even like my phone bro ... but tiktok gets me tbh i'll sit on my phone for like 2 hours straight just watching funny little videos
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Woke up to a musical alarm, the one I usually have, but turns out I hallucinated it because my phones were off
#alarm#what#music#i dream in music sometimes#i think i did it b ive been trying to wake up at 7ish#my subconscious saying “wake up!#i used to be able to wake up at a certain time if i told myself to#now i take sleeping pills.#i think they make me gain weight i have to get off thm#but.#if i cant sleep I'll go back to awfulness like real brain fog like a zombie#maybe i could get off them now#addicted#if i try to stop i do get withdrawal#its not pretty#at least im down to 1/2#which still makes me so tired in the morning its painful to start to get up#im not awake for several hours at least#sensitive#..
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The irony of trying to start a "pain journal" but being too fatigued and having too much brain fog from said pain to start one
#is that irony? idk. i can't think.#i try so hard not to get crabby when i'm in pain like i genuinely try so so hard to be kind and patient#posting this on fb not to make my parents feel bad but also maybe to show them how bad this is#far as i know i don't have scoliosis like my dad. i was checked growing up. but there has to be some kind of curve#and at this point i will not tolerate anyone telling me it's just posture because it canNOT be just posture now.#i wake up in pain now. at the moment it's so bad i was just crying and waddling and pacing#it's my spine right in my mid-back. like where my bottom ribs connect to my spine#trying to stretch. took some naproxen 3 hours ago and it genuinely did nothing. put some tiger balm on#does tiger balm make anyone else drowsy??? or is that just brain fog from the pain?#fatigue and brain fog are things i literally just realized. like this whole time i thought i was just a lazy person#needing to lie down for most of the day unable to concentrate on even fucking reading.#but no it turns out when you're in pain every day all day for at least 11 years it makes you foggy and exhausted.#the more you know#literally drag me by the hair to a doctor because i cannot do it. i cannot be told to just Do yOgA and go on birth control or w/e#if you're afab it's always gotta be your period huh. that's a physician's only answer.
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the aftermath of having 2 terabytes of storage
#i have never had a computer this nice lmao#i'm constantly so used to automatically assuming i Can't Do Most Things bc most of the time i'm barred from Everything#either by physical skill or money or age or location#so when i got a Nice Computer my brain was like STUFF I CAN DO?????????? STUFF I CAN DO!!!!!!!!!!!!#and just. downloaded all the games i haven't been able to play bc my laptop sucks ass#the dopamine rush. lmao#i can actually play skyrim again for the first time since i was 17 😭#genuinely getting this computer has given me the exact same feeling as finally getting my wheelchair#just the fucking sheer joy of *oh my fucking god i have freedom now. i can actually DO STUFF*#seriously being able to use the wheelchair has made me so fucking happy i don't feel awful when going to the store i can actually THINK#bc i dont have brain fog from having to focus all of my energy on staying upright#and the computer is giving me the same feeling of freedom like. i can actually DO STUFF with my computer and not worry about it crashing#i can record video now!!!! I COULD START STREAMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i can actually learn to code because the coding programs will run!!!!!! i can start making datapacks!!!!!!!!!!!!!#can PLAY THE GAMES I'VE BOUGHT OVER THE YEARS FINALLY#FUCKING THANK YOU STEAM FOR LETTING ME KEEP THESE GAMES UNTIL I CAN ACTUALLY PLAY THEM#INSTEAD OF BEING A SHITASS STREAMING SERVICE THAT TAKES AWAY YOUR PRODUCT *AND* MONEY WHENEVER THEY FEEL LIKE IT#like i bought assassins creed odyssey the year it came out and i've never even been able to OPEN it on any of my old computers#i bought Jusant recently because it looks very pretty but the game wouldn't let me download it on my laptop bc the graphics card was shit#i have a bunch of games that I've just hoarded on my steam account for years and now i can finally play them#i can get back to subnautica too!!!! and finally finish out we happy few!!!#anyway im gonna go continue to be insane about this machine i love computers theyre so fun
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Whenever I see people saying that Dazai's an asshole and doesn't care about anyone I laugh. Guess he did a good job of fooling you buddy.
#I mean it was an account which presumably liked Akutagawa#So I can TOTALLY see why this happened. I get it. Your fav was abused by this character and he's in general an asshole to a lot of people.#But also he isn't a complete monster and that's crucial to understanding his character.#I used to hate Mori and that made me make him ooc SO many times.#And I know it's not exactly the same but for your own sake : if you're biased towards a character please stop telling people they're wrong#about said character. Because your bias is probably preventing you from seeing Dazai in a caring light and that SHOWS.#“Dazai left chuuya behind in the woods” dude. Chuuya was his enemy. They were in war. He needed to take Q back.#Did people seriously think Dazai would be able to carry both a grown man and a kid on his back all the way to an extraction point?#And he literally took Chuuya back in stormbringer after the first time chuuya used corruption.#and he waited until chuuya woke up before leaving in dead apple and stayed beside him so that chuuya wouldn't be affected by the fog.#I think people overestimate Dazai's abilities sometimes. where tf was he supposed to take chuuya in dead apple?#there was still a battle going on.#There's nothing I hate more than dazai haters trying to make him look bad in every situation.#“oh he spent Kunikidas money that's asshole behav-” THEY'RE FRIENDS ASSHOLE!!!#If Kunikida wanted he could've kicked Dazai's ass to the sun and told him to never touch his wallet again.#he didn't. BECAUSE THEY'RE FRIENDSSSS (maybe something else too to the kndz shippers)#like shut up and leave ♡#also “this os MY post on MY blog” how do you feel about me uno reversing you sweetie <3#bungou stray dogs
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I'm aware this illness probably isn't COVID but it is the weirdest illness I've ever had
#delete later#i have covid tests incoming so we'll find out for sure but fuck me#no longer shivering but still getting spikes in temp for the third day#illnesses allways go directly to ky sinuses abd stay there. this started in my throat abd moved to my chest abd THEN my sinuses#i have a rattle on the right side of my chest when i breath too hard. thats NEVER HAPPENED.#i did have an intense headache but it wasn't a sinus headache ir was a fever one bc the brain fog and processing lag was unreal#tmi gross but im not coughing anything up. im dislodging something bc coughing makes the rattle stop for a few mins but what yhe fuck#despite the exhaustion i cant sleep more than four hours max at a time. mostly its been two hours#and then my temp spikes again abd i wake up#what the fuck#its completely dufferent to sny illness uve had before. could be that my immune system has changed a bunch bc of t?#i defo get illnesses easier#no idea#im back and i was right no covid! wahey! unfortunately that does not improve my symptomd but im still glad!#unless i recover real quick tomorrow i will not be travellig into the office monday#im having trouble standing for very long let alone travelling like 7 miles
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Really wish this brain fog would pass bc I have a shitload of posts in my drafts i saved bc i wanted to read them but my brain said no. And it's tax season so I'm getting important papers in the mail and I cant fucking read them. Well I can read them but it's just words. Nothing is connecting up there. Thank god mom is here to help read that shit and translate but fuck do I hate this shit
Why can't my brain fucking WORK
#it feels like when i kept getting concussions in 9th grade (had 4) and i couldnt fucking focus and my reaction time dropped significantly#like we were doing a basic reaction time experiment in science and i said oh lets not use mine when we submit it (group of 3 pick best#result) and my friends were like pfft whatever go. and i did and they got real quiet and were like oh...#bc they didnt realize i was concussed concussed like bitch my ability to vaguely see in the dark is GONE i cannot see my rt is SLOWED#my brain cannot WORK RIGHT#it's recovered since then (yay neuroplasticity) but i still have bad brain fog from fibro and it's like god at least when I was concussed i#could easily be like listen i had 4 concussions i need help. no problem. but with brain fog it feels like give me a min im stupid today#i hate it!! i hate feeling broken i hate feeling like my brain is half working! it sucks!!#i got insurance shit the other day and had to ask my mom to make sure it was just a basic 'yeah youre covered heres more access' and not#something i needed to act on and it was so frustrating#marquilla#and whats worse is sometimes ill be talking or typing and think im making sense and then ill look back at it later or someone will ask me ab#it and its like oh... im sorry my brain is not working atm and i cannot get out what im trying to and what is getting out is jumbled#the absolute worst is when it hits when im driving and it's like hey you're 2 hours away from home snd now LOST get home bitch :)#luckily it only happened when i was 40 min from home and in a familiar enough area but my brain couldnt find the right 'path'#sucked but i actually knew i was actually on the right path when i saw this house with a lesbian flag sgsgdgdgdgdgdgd like oh! here!!
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there's this one girl at work who thinks she's the Waitress Supreme literally is convinced the goddess of waitresses shat her out and stuck her in a barely-functioning pub in the arsecrack of england and today i was soooo poorly and sickly and weak and feeble literally on death's door cough coughu oug h etc and still had to do a 12-10 shift bc i need MONEY, so safe to say i was not in the mood for her omd. like this girl is not a manager. she is not even a supervisor. she is a student that, while working full-time, comes and goes in regards to her studies. so tell me WHY she tries to give me orders as if she's not only in a position to do so but also like she's singlehandedly running the fucking military. 'that cutlery hasn't been polished yet' 'why are you making drinks for the chefs when there's tables to clear' 'B2 havent had their menus'. all incredibly valid points when you give each problem at least 2 minutes to naturally resolve itself AND the problem in question is in your section AND you speak to people with a friendly, helpful tone instead of the most patronising bitchy voice you ever heard. i wanted to kill her dead i literally had to just ignore her every time she spoke to me even if it did come across rude like it was either that or lose my job to an ABH charge.
#and bc i was so ill i literally couldn't even control my face in time like normally im actually a very good actress#my skill for being a two-faced bitch is held back only by my pride and morals#so normally id find a way to politely be like 'shut the fuck up and go to your own section you're not in charge here and im HANDLING IT :)'#but today i cannot express the extent of couldn't be arsed radiating from me#had me on a 10 hour shift (6 HOURS OF WHICH WAS RUNNING FOOD) when im SICK#and im one of those people that physically im very healthy never have any problems but when i DO have problems cor blimey do i have them#so like my head was swimming had total brain fog kept getting dizzy and nauseas on top of having a stuffed nose and an awful cough#at WORK. at a WAITRESSING JOB. hell i tell you#so yeah this girl was pushing my last limit and i just knowwww i was so rude to her all day#she'd tell me to do something and id fully not even respond id just give her a LOOK#like imagine me polishing cutlery she comes over tells me to do something in my section (NOT HER BUSINESS)#and i just. pause polishing a second. look at her like she shot my dog. and then continue polishing like she never said anything#AND THAT WAS THE GOOD OUTCOME BC IF I DIDNT JUST TOTALLY BLANK HER I WOULDVE STARTED AN ARGUMENT#I WAS SO FUCKING DONE YOU DONT UNDERSTAND#like i feel like a lot of this is dumb waitressing hierarchy/social no-nos so just TRUST ME that the shit she was doing was not on#if you've ever worked the catering industry ESPECIALLY floor staff then you'll get it#like the only right you have to another staff member's section is if you outrank them#if you're just another random fucking waitress let alone a STUDENT JUST LIKE ME#LIKE SHE DOESNT EVEN HAVE THE AGE ANGLE TO GET THE HIERARCHY ON ME#then literally just. shut your fucking mouth. YOU DO NOT MESS WITH ANOTHER WAITRESS'S SECTION#i have literally ignored tables before bc the waitress on section is one im iffy with and if i 'steal' her table it can genuinely#effect your social life at work#it's so fucked#so yeah i was rude and borderline mean to this girl but WHAT WAS SHE EVEN PLAYING AT TO BEGIN WITH#hella slaves to capitalism
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Fuck the post-binge spiral is hitting so hard rn. I am drowning lmao
#and by binge I mean tv binge#I don’t drink so don’t worry about that#I’m just done with Peaky Blinders and it was so good that I no longer know what to do with myself#like genuinely#im walking through a thick fog#sometimes I feel like the only time im ever really happy is when I disappear into a story#me#who I am and the problems that I face#none of that matters when im consuming media#like the only problems that matter are the ones that the characters are facing#because I would rather face earth shattering dilemmas#than go back to work in my stupid fucking customer service job#and go to my stupid fucking college#I feel like a wild animal trapped in a cage#I am restless and angry and sad and empty#and I just want#more#of what? I don’t know#anyway#random
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Quick housekeeping update
Hey everyone! Since this blog is mostly inactive these days it might not seem like this is a big update, but for ME this is a big update that took a lot of work!
Since I know many of you have been around since the early days of Tumblr like me, you're probably aware the way posts are formatted have changed. I was noticing problems with how old AND new posts were displaying across all my blogs, so over the past month or so I've been working on updating my themes, pages, etc. This blog is the first one that's finished! All posts, old and new, are now displayed correctly, my pages are all up to date, and everything is generally formatted to be more accessible across the board.
The exciting and fun part of this for me was that for this blog specifically, I learned a much more complicated javascript code than I had ever used before. I learned basic HTML/CSS/JS a few years ago, but I taught myself how to use an entirely new, much more complicated JS plugin than I've ever used before (tippy.js) for this blog. And now that my content is all organized and displaying perfectly, when I get back to making jokes, everything will look great on the dash and on my blog.
Huge, huge shoutouts to:
@vitaminholland, who made my theme and about page (and answered all my questions, chatted with me as I learned tippy, and is all-around great). If any of you are looking for a new theme that will show old and new posts correctly across the board (whether you reblogged them in 2014 or today), check them out!
@nonspace, who made my tags page and helped me get it looking EXACTLY as I wanted it to look
@glenthemes for helping me with figuring out how to minorly tweak old, broken posts on Tumblr's end to look correct again
It may seem silly to say I spent a ton of time working on all this, but truly, I started redoing everything back in December, and I'm proud that I taught myself new things and learned new tricks (from some very patient and amazing people on this website). I hope you'll take a look and, at the very least, can appreciate being able to actually read my horrible bad jokes without the text running over the post container!
#sassy speaks#the secret subtext of this is that my health has slowly been improving for the first time in almost three years#and doing this project and learning so much new stuff and UNDERSTANDING it has been a sign that the fog is clearing just a bit#i know i haven't been around on here much so i'm truly grateful to all of you for sticking with me.#hopefully i will be back to making jokes again soon but in the meantime#all my old stuff is easy to go through now
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