#tim's spleen

[onnahu]

Batfam but make them youtubers - their most popular videos

Bruce: How To Get Your Own Child - sex not required

Alfred: Family Dinner Vlog (everyone's alive)

Kate: How to get a girlfriend in 8 steps - tutorial

Dick: I'm not like my dad, haters!

Babs: wtf Gotham - a compilation

Jason: how to sever 8 heads in 30 minutes (hypothetically)

Cass: go scare the shit out of people with me

Tim: how I became Batman's therapist

Steph: looking for my ex's spleen day 179

Damian: stealing the batmobile pt. 82

Duke: how i became a gang leader at 13

[arrowheadedbitch]

Damian being mean to jason

Jason: Oh yeah? Well I fucked your mom, so

Damian: murder stare

Tim: Oh! Speaking of your family, does your grandpa still have my spleen?

Jason: Does he WHAT

[batfam-stuff-posts-0]

Tim: *casually mentions his missing spleen*

The rest of the batfam:

[junespriince]

winged heart au

Ra: ah the bats doctor, nice to meet you finally.

Wally: yeah, I guess nice to meet you too, you are nicer in kidnapping. so, why was I taken, bec if it for the cave, I haven't been but my roommate Kyle is slowly getting adopted by them so.

Ra: no, I actually need you for another reason.

Wally: ... don't the pit heal everything?

Ra: yes, but I don't need a check-up. *hands him Tim's spleen in a jar* was this good or was I scammed?

Wally, speechless: I... was it like this when you took it?

Ra: yeah, is that bad?

Wally: It's rotting! You saved him... he didn't know an organ was dying... oh god.

Nightwing, whipping his head to Red Robin as well as the rest of Batfam and Talia coming in Ra home: You didn't know it was dying!?

Red Robin: ... well, I have chronic pain just assumed it was that.

Nightwing: You have Chronic Pain!? Why isn't it on your health report?

Red Robin: I don't want the government to know me.

Nightwing, stunned: I... I need a moment.

[yukii0nna]

I've been scrolling through some stuff and found out the Tim's missing spleen was a tag here! I'm unfortunately not a comics reader so can anyone tell what the heck is up with that boy!!!?!! I love him but sheesh!

@punkeropercyjackson @insomniac-jay

[tiger-grace]

headcanon that after Dick Grayson being Robin all of the batkids interchangeably use “holy ____ batman” even at the worst possible moments

Steph, staring down at Tim in the medbay cot: holy common cold, batman

Tim: please stop

Steph: holy spleenless sillybilly batman

Tim: steph please

Jason Todd on the floor, bruised and bloodied: dad?

(The timer ticks down to three seconds)

Jason: well holy shitballs batman I’m going to fucking di-

KABOOM

[ditzybat]

tim: ugh, i can’t go into the sewers to follow croc, can’t risk an infection

jason: what, are the sewers not good enough for your bristol bred sensibilities?

tim: i have no fucking spleen jason, of course i’m not gonna go into the fucking sewers - i’ll literally die

[onnahu]

Ok, so is it only me who finds Tim's rise to heroing hillarious?

Bc consider: everyone have their traumatic original story, especially in batfam (Cass's whole life, Dami's upbringing, Jay's street life, Dick's parents, Steph's father, Duke's parent. Actually everyone's parents wtv), and then there is Tim. He's rich white boy that canonically was not abused by his parents, only in fanon, that is weirdly obsessed with Dick Grayson. Not even Robin or Nightwing. Dick Grayson and his motherfucking summersault. He didn't plan on becoming Robin, it just happend bc heis sense of duty didn't let him just turn his back on Batman's villain origin storry. And then it was supposed to be Dick back as Robin, but he said 'oh fuck no' and that was it. So Tim was like 'welp, I guess it's only me' and got himself a job without any profit. And then it was just like 'it's actually fun, i'm gonna blow shit up and mess with ppl' and that was it, he was gone for heroism forever.

And then as Robin and later Red Robin he's got a shittone of trauma, but it's after. He literally don't have any deeply rooted motive for becoming a vigilante, just that he was only one that figured out who Batman was and was to nosy to just turn his back on it.

So yeh. Tim is just funny like that.

And it's all actually even funnier when you realise that he's one of the most unhinged one of Batfam. I mean they all are, but he's the one that went on crazy andventure looking for Bruce, got Ra's obsessed with him, destroyed LoA, lost his spleen and tried to clone his dead bf 99 times.

[batfam-stuff-posts-0]

Love the idea of Bruce's kids just randomly dropping information that Bruce didn't know and nearly giving him a heart attack every time.

[thealexanderfiles]

Jason, to himself: If I can catch Tim off guard when he comes back from patrol he'll confess about breaking my favourite Wonder Woman's mug

Jason, as Tim wanders in: Got anything to confess??

Tim, very very high off Gotham Harbor fumes: Ra's pickled my spleen.

[thenerdycupcake]

A true hunter is always improving his skills.

As the Ghost Zone's Greatest Hunter, Skulker only learns from the best.

That's why, once he hears of Spleeny, he knows he must convince the organ to train him.

It took weeks of non-stop pestering convincing, but eventually they said yes!

Red Robin: Hi I'm-

Danny: I saw your spleen in the ghost zone

[incorrect-batfam-quotes-mostly]

Tim: You know how you worry about me constantly?

Bruce: … Yes?

Tim, trying to ease Bruce into the "i don't have a spleen talk" and failing: Well now you have a reason to

[qcomicsy]

Yeah I know we all want to see the bat get Batshit when he learns that Tim lost a spleen but have you ever considered he just having a big dad sight™ closing his eyes and saying:

"... Of course he did." while he holds the bridge of his nose and following up with. "Let me see the scar."

[kit04kat]

I like to think that all the bat siblings just randomly drop insane lore about themselves. Like- they all have so much going on that there's no way to update everyone on everything so whenever one person mentions something crazy that happened in passing, the rest of the bats that didn't know are super chill about it. Except Bruce. When he finds out something he doesn't know, he always freaks out a little bit (control freak).

(Tim taking his daily antibiotic)

Bruce (trying to remember if something happened on patrol): Are you injured?

Tim (casually): No I'm alright. I've just had to take these ever since I lost my spleen.

Jason: Word. Good to be careful I guess.

Bruce (internally panicking): You lost your spleen?

Tim: well, maybe lost is the wrong word. I'm pretty sure Ra's Al Ghul still has it in a jar somewhere.

Jason: Not even surprised. He's creepy like that.

Bruce: ??!??!?!?!!

(Dick, Cass, Tim, and Bruce after patrol one night)

Tim: Hey Dick that was a cool move you pulled back there

Dick: Oh that? Yeah I learned that when I was apprenticing for Deathstroke.

Cass (nodding): Skilled fighter.

Dick: Yeah, situation kinda sucked but oh well.

Bruce: (Trying to piece together when the fuck that happened)

[sarahcmarie]

Don’t get me wrong I love the Tim drake tells his family about his trauma with out thinking to hard about it and them freaking out that’s great I love that hilarious BUT have you considered the hilarity of Tim Deliberately Hiding it from his family and the shenanigans he has to pull to keep them from finding out?

Que Tim drake trying to drink his coffee before Bruce comes to pick him up for lunch when suddenly one of Ra’s assassins come from the shadows to try to kidnap him and while Tim is trying to fight him he hears the alert that Bruce’s car pulled up his eyes widen as he shoves the assassin into the closet before Bruce can see and telling him to shut the fuck up for both of their sakes the assassin is so confused he just goes along with it

When Bruce comes in and see’s Tim’s ruffled shirt A broken vase in the hall and someone very clearly in the closet he chooses to ignore it because he REALLY does not want to know about his sons sex life

Red Robin gets stabbed mid patrol and has to pretend he’s worried about blood loss but actually he is annoyed because it was a rusty pipe so he KNOWS it’s gonna get infected and he does not wanna deal with that but can’t say that because then his family will know he doesn’t have a spleen

When a new supervillain comes around and starts cloning people Tim is the one who has the most information on how to catch him because of when he tried to clone Kon but only he and dick know this dick was obviously gonna bring this up so Tim could help on the case but it was also like 2:30 and he hadn’t slept in days so he decided to take a nap first only to be woken up by a shadow holding a hand over his mouth he nearly broke Tim’s jaw because of how bad he scared him and when dick asked him what the hell he was thinking Tim said to keep what happened with Kon to himself or else… the case was solved two days afterwards and dick kept his mouth shut but he had a new found fear for his little brother whom he loved (and feared) so much

There are many more fun instances that I am not creative enough to come up with so PLEASE feel free to add on