#tim tin fate
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more updated refs!!
#sparklecare#sparklecare hospital#meteorcare au#sparklecare au#sparklecare oc#art#russ shen doom#pepper cornelius#tim tin fate#anne ziat smiley
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This has-been consuming me for over a day so I'm foisting it upon you. Suffer as I do.
Anyway the au idea!
Tim is stuck in a life loop.
What is a life loop? What it says on the tin! Ok better explination: it's basically a time loop but the end point of the loop is finicky which means everytime the looper dies they returns to the age they start(think baby or little little kid age).
Back to the au idea-
Tim is stuck in a life loop due to one reason or another Gotham taking pitty or some cursed relic his parents brought home whatever. Bottom line Tim is stuck in a life loop, and he resets to 6-8 (basically, sometime before he started stalking the batfa, which fannon puts at like 9, I think?)
Anyway some changes that happen in this au!
1) while Tim is still smart he's not as genius as fannon and maybe canon puts him as. Instead his smarts all come from having lived the same timeline like 80 different times.
2) he mostly doesn't abuse this power (sometimes he will memorize the stock prices of lexcorp and then steal it from lex and gifts it to kon in a "Please date me" gesture. It only works some of the time.... look after so long he forgets if he's made a bond with kon this "run" so sometimes kon just gets lexcorp gift packaged to him from a stranger. Now if he still gives the stranger a chance and end up actually dating him....that's not your buisness.)
Anyway sometimes he joins the batfam, sometimes he doesn't, sometimes he forgets to and hacks into the system then forgets he's not a part of them yet so the fam just has to deal with this random vigilante that they can't get off their comms, or out of their system...
When Tim sounds like a sarcastic cynical old man it's because he basically is. By "run" like 40 he's also pretty sure he's older than Ra's. Still calls him a geriatric fuck but hey who really blames him.
He's still a disaster bby no matter how many runs he goes through. Constantly forgets the "life changing" events... aka jason's petty Titans Tower attack, Bruce's timeline adventures, his parents' deaths, Damian's existence like 90% of the time, etc. So he does still get blindsighted sometimes
It's also super important to me in this that no one else is in a life loop. Yes Constantine, or raven, or Dr fate could all get him out of it but mehhhhh it's fine, he wants to die if old age at least once before he even starts contemplating that. Also whenever the batfam discovers his a "timetraveler" or stuck in a time loop, to avoid the Conversation™️ He just offs himself and starts a new run full on fuck that shit I'm out style
@brucewaynehater101 , here's that au!
:D
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one of tim's absolutely mind-boggling traits, in kon's expert opinion, is that he only likes the bottom part of muffins. he will forever claim they are soft and they are fluffy and he will eat nothing else. kon, on the other hand, only likes the top parts, since that's where all the actual flavour was. so whenever these particular baked goods were in their vicinity, tim ate the bottoms and kon ate the tops. together, they made a whole, unified muffin. if that wasn't fate, kon didn't know what was.
"i haven't had a muffin in a while," tim says. his voice quiet, quieter than it has ever been, but it still rings across the crumbling rock of the sewer.
krypto's flying beside them, unwilling to get his paws wet, but kon is ankle-deep in the muck tracking down luthor's old tech with someone he barely recognizes leading him down the sewer.
(tim could lead him straight to the depths of hell, and all conner would do is cling tight and follow.)
"yeah, i can tell," kon says. "you look skinny. too skinny."
"thanks, mom," tim responds dryly. "i'll be sure to pencil in protein shakes and cupcakes between somehow outsmarting ra's-al-fucking-ghul and bringing bruce back."
the silence that follows carries more weight than tim's presence does, right about now. the water swirls under them, and tim is near silent as he leads. he knows the way intuitively, perfectly, like a dip in the styx with an ankle brace. it's almost like he's been here before.
(thing thing is—the thing is. the thing is tim rattled around an empty house for half his life, a latchkey kid in a shiny tin can. and the other half of the time, his parents' expectations and batman's expectations turned him into a tree about to tip sideways, roots ripped from the dirt. so there were times, more often than kon likes to remember, when tim forgot to grab a bite to eat.)
conner hurries after tim, the sweep of his black cape rendering him near invisible in the dark. "fine. asshole," kon says. "we'll eat muffins when you get back from finding bats. go to a fancy muffin place somewhere in, i don't know, fuckin' keystone city. i'm sure flash knows a place."
"conner—" tim starts, then breaks off.
kon pushes ahead of him to glance at the thick metal locking system on the door. "when you get back," he says firmly. he bets he can open the lock with his ttk faster than tim could pick it. "you said batman is alive and you're gonna find him. so go find him. we'll catch up when you get back."
(there's a couple things kon wants to ask him, more than a couple things. the lock opened softly and smoothly, clear evidence of someone opening it time and time again. tim flinched a bit when kon asked him to take off his cowl, fingers trembling as he undid the safety mechanism and pulled it off his head and fuck, dear fuck, not even his longer hair could hide the burns covering the back of his head. something in his voice broke when he tried to tell kon about what happened with him and cassie, a trembling glasslike thing that didn't seem to be about cassie at all.
but lex was on the loose and tim had a determined clench to his teeth and—not now. when tim got back from his mission, they would split a muffin and make fun of each other's hair and conner would finally tease a smile out of tim's chapped, downturned lips. when tim got back.)
--
action comics 3 just fuckin murders me everytime yall i am not okay
tag list: @graysonisms @screennamealreadyused @birdy-bat-writes @subtleappreciation @catxsnow @pricetagofficial @clamityganon @maplumebleue-blog-blog @sundownridge @thatsthewhump @xatanna-troy @red-hood-redemption @batshit-birds @capricorn-stark @buticaaba @comics-observer @newsical
#scribbles from the swamp#kon-el#conner kent#superboy#tim drake#red robin#robin#timkon#kinda?? that was the slight intent anyway#dc#kon-el headcanon#kon-el fic#conner kent headcanon#conner kent fic#superboy headcanon#superboy fic#tim drake headcanon#tim drake fic#red robin headcanon#red robin fic#robin headcanon#robin fic#timkon headcanon#timkon fic#dc headcanon#dc fic
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Tag Round-up:
I'm pretty bad at remembering to tag, but I am at least attempting on this sideblog. That being said, here's a list of ones I plan to use semi-frequently:
GENERAL TAGS:
fic drop: new AO3 post of my fics
fic tidbits and quill ribbits: fun facts and weird details about my own fics
my art: so far I've only made one fan art, but on the chance I do it again, i'll store that under this tag too
my fic: what it says on the tin; not everything I reblog here is my own writing, so I'll try to tag my own stuff to make it easier to find. This should cover fic drops, fan art, snippets, and updates
spoilers: this one is likely self explanatory, but I'm including it here because I don't have a separate spoiler tag for individual fics, just the general one
MY AU'S:
momgoose: related to Momgoose and the following series
vulture: related to Vultures, Squirrels, and Other Flying Menaces. I may also use the tags Dadstroke and murderfam
toafr: related to a statistically significant number of robins series
tim and jerry: related to the fic Fate Runs On Light Paws and the series that sprouted from what was supposed to be a one shot
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Alone Again, Naturally
Three times Martin should have called for help.
(I twisted my ankle on Sunday and was bummed bc I missed my partner so…this happened…oops.)
-
1.
Martin’s phone was missing, though he was pretty sure he knew where it was. That thing, that wormy, writhing mass of a woman had it. Destroyed it. His only chance of rescue from this nightmare. Replaying the image of dropping the phone, abandoning it as he ran, would do him no good. His coworkers hadn’t noticed he was missing, or if they had noticed, they hadn’t stopped by. And they shouldn't, of course, it would only put them in danger. But still, it stung a bit, to know that he’d been gone for what, three days now? and no one cared.
He could become a statement from this, Martin realized, his death narrated in Jon’s smooth, clipped voice, and then they would finally learn what happened to that large, oafish researcher who was transferred to the archives with them and disappeared overnight.
Martin sighed through his nose noisily, as if he could expel the dark thoughts with the sound. “Christ, Blackwood. Getting awful morbid there.” Talking to himself had become a staple of his isolation. For one, it drowned out the ever-present knocking on the door and the squelching rustle of the worms. He honestly wasn’t sure whether the sounds were still real or if they had become such a constant that his brain just filled them in anyways.
His voice was the only other sound available to him with his computer not working and his phone gone. His clock radio had played static on every channel, and he had been grateful for the white noise at first. But the longer Martin left the radio on, the sound began to morph from the hissing of dead air to a choir, indecipherable and haunting. There were no words and yet he could understand the message: come home to us. We need you, we miss you, let us show you how much we love you. With us, you’ll never feel lonely again, we promise. Martin had come to, hand on the doorknob to his flat, radio in hand. After that, he had removed all the batteries from anything that could make noise. Since then, he could only trust his own voice; everything else was a trap.
The can opener, unfortunately, had been electric too. He had been so proud of his purchase, a real attempt at adult cooking. (He never seemed to use the manual ones and could never get the grip right.) With the power out, assumedly caused by Prentiss, he had to get creative when it came to “making dinner.” For Martin, this meant sawing open a tin can with a serrated knife, eating it with a fork, and praying no metal shavings were lurking in each mouthful. Tonight’s feast: another can of tinned green beans and the last can of pineapple. He didn’t even like green beans, why had he ever bought these?
Martin gritted himself against the awful sound of metal on metal as he cut into a tin of beans, hissing sharply through his teeth and letting his mind wander. Maybe he could strain the beans? Let them dry? It would probably be better than the wet and soggy mush he was bound to find. Maybe he could put some crackers on them for a crunch? Pretend it’s a bad soup? As he was finishing his indelicate surgery, Martin tipped the can into the sink a little, hoping to strain the bean juice and improve the meal even a little. As he removed the last of the lid, he saw it.
There, in the sink, wiggling its way out of the drain. Another worm. Martin shrieked and jumped back, dropping the can in the sink with a clatter. He grabbed a roll of paper towels and began to stuff them down the sink, plugging up the drain as best he could. For extra measure, he plugged the faucet as well, suddenly terrified of accidentally swallowing one in a glass of water. Once the adrenaline rush had passed, Martin felt it: a stinging in his palm. They must have jumped at him, must have bitten him. It would be over soon, he knew it. He would be like Prentiss, a mass of tiny bodies. He braced himself to feel something, but nothing changed. Martin frowned, chewing on his lip in confusion, and hazarded a glance down to his hand. There was no worm in his palm, nothing wriggling and biting deep into his muscle, just a slice along the flesh of his thumb, dripping blood from where he must have cut himself on the tin can.
Sheepishly, Martin rolled his eyes at his defeatism. Did it hurt like hell? Yes. But he wasn’t going to become a worm monster. Not today. Grabbing a few more sheets of paper towel, Martin hissed in pain as he pressed them to his wound, making his way shakily to the paltry first-aid kit he kept in his bathroom. He was clumsy in his wound care, only able to use one hand to open the kit and the individually wrapped plasters, while the other pooled blood in his palm uselessly. The antiseptic had stung like hell and the plaster was off-center, but eventually, the job was done. Martin had managed.
“See?” He asked himself softly. “All better. We didn’t want the green beans anyways.” Martin was alone, but he would be fine. He could take care of himself.
——
2.
Martin’s phone had become less and less useful since his time in the Archives. Sasha and Tim had been distant in the end, their group texts dwindling into occasional messages regarding whether not someone had contacted so-and-so regarding their statement. He and Jon had called and texted quite a bit, before the Unknowing, when Jon had been in China, America, and wherever else Gertrude’s breadcrumbs had led him. But since the explosion, their messages lay at a standstill, a “good luck! come home safe :)” still waiting to be sent to “Jonathan Sims--Boss.” He used to call his mother every week, but the outgoing calls had dwindled as she returned less and less of them, until he received an apologetic voicemail from Steady Waters Care Home a few months ago.
Now, the only messages he received were his work emails and an occasional text from Peter with a request or two regarding The Magnus Institute. Not even spam calls reached him anymore. That was all fine by Martin. He was busy running the institute; he didn’t have time for social calls, even if he wanted any, which he didn’t. Martin had taken to leaving his phone in his work office, knowing he wouldn’t need it outside the building anyways. It was becoming something like a desktop mouse to him in its versatility.
It was a Thursday, and it was late--Martin’s watch read 11:09. Thursdays were Martin’s days to deliver paperwork to the archives. He could only ever do it at night when he was sure Jon had either gone home (or was asleep at his desk at the very least). Peter Lukas had been working Martin to the bone with all the paperwork he would hand off with a wave of his hand and an “I’ll be back next week Martin. Please don’t call me,” and this week’s stack of statement requests, financial approvals, and quarterly reviews would fall to Martin instead. Who knew running a front for feeding an all-seeing eldritch deity would require so many business expenses?
Martin. Martin knew. He had reviewed and approved each and every one.
It was the week after Halloween, so the list of those eager to give a statement was longer than usual. Hellweek, Tim used to call it, a grin on his face as Jon would frown and shake his head. The stack of folders Martin carried in his arms eclipsed his eyesight as he carefully made his way down the hall, the Lonely silencing his footsteps and the shuffle of his clothing. The elevator was broken this week, thanks to a visit from one of the Fairchilds. Martin clumsily opened the door to the stairwell, turning to the side slightly to see the steps that descended into the basement he knew so well. Cautiously, he began his way down the stairs, arms clutching the stack of paperwork and binders tight to his chest. The basement was eerily silent; even Martin’s muted steps echoed in his ears.
The door to the Archives creaked slightly, and Martin realized his mistake: he hadn’t propped the door. The thin streak of light that painted his way down the steps thinned and faded in time with the slow squeak of the door. The click of the latch sealed his fate: Martin was in the dark. He didn’t mind the dark, in principle, though his new awareness of the Fears heightened his concern considerably. He stepped down slowly, feeling for the steps with his foot as he went.
Halfway down the stairs, Martin heard a soft flutter as a few papers shifted in his stack. He hoisted the pile and tried to readjust it as he stepped once more. The combination of the changes in the balance of the papers and his weight combined were too much for his brain to process at once and he overcompensated on his step, putting his weight down a little too early. Martin felt the rush of adrenaline as he tried to catch himself, hands clutching uselessly at the paperwork in his hands as if it could save him and he felt himself tumble to the ground. Falling sideways, he hit his shoulder hard on the steps, momentum carrying him down the remaining steps to the floor. The loose papers not held in binders and folders scattered in what Martin was sure was every direction.
Martin was frozen on the floor, pain pulsing through his shoulder. He sat up tentatively, patting himself down as he set down what remained of his stack of folders. He wasn’t bleeding, but his ears were ringing and his arm hurt like hell. Listening carefully for the sound of anyone reacting to his presence, he rotated his shoulders carefully, wincing as throbbing radiated up his arm. He must have dislocated it. Patting his legs down, Martin found his phone in his pocket. He must have forgotten to put it on the charger. He...he could call someone, should call someone. His shoulder was dislocated.
He could call Jon.
He pulled up his text messages, the cursor blinking back at him, blinding in the dark. Jon was surely awake, he knew that man’s sleep schedule was worse than his.
good luck! come home safe :)
safe :)
safe.
“Shit.”
He couldn’t call Jon. It would undo everything he and Peter were trying to build up. It was all for Jon anyways, to keep him safe, to keep them all safe. No. He had to do this alone. It was best that way.
Martin sat himself up carefully. He had taken enough first aid courses (rather, he had watched them for free on the internet) to know how to set it back in place and he knew it would not be pleasant. He drew his right knee up, and clumsily unknotted his tie, using it to secure his arm to his knee. Martin closed his eyes tight and leaned away from his knee, rotating his shoulder as he stretched away, wincing in anticipation until he felt the wet pop of his arm slotting back into place. Sparks shot through his vision, his only grounding point in the dark, and he huffed out a cross between a moan and a curse.
He carefully made a fist with his re-set hand, tensing the muscles in his arm. Determining it to be good enough, Martin felt his way to his feet and grabbed the wall to steady himself. He knew there was a light switch somewhere--ah.
The light clicked on and he winced at the sudden change, letting his eyes adjust behind the safety of his lashes. When he opened his eyes again, he surveyed the mess of his paperwork, gathering it methodically. It took him another half hour, back against Tim’s old desk, to resort his files before setting them in the file basket he had installed on the door to the Archivist’s office, the rest going on the desk of Jon himself. He would see them all in the morning. At least Jon was home, resting.
When Martin emerged from the Archives, he glanced down at his watch, wondering if it was too late to hail a cab. He frowned at his watch; the face was cracked, the hands stuck at 11:11. He must have cracked it in his fall. “Make a wish,” Martin mumbled to himself, rolling his eyes. He was pretty sure his wishes were out of reach, hopeless. As long as he would be safe after all this, Martin could sacrifice a few wishes.
——
3.
Martin was on a walk. He had been doing that a lot, since his and Jon’s escape to Scotland. There was something comforting about the long stretches of rolling hills and rocky cliffsides, utterly devoid of menacing fear entities or bosses hellbent on destroying the world. Jon would come with him sometimes, especially in the early days when leaving each other’s presence was challenging to say the least, but Martin sometimes just needed the space. He loved Jon, he knew he did, and Jon did too, but sometimes the presence of another would build up and stifle him, an unbearable heat radiating off of Jon until Martin had to just go for a bit.
It was raining today, a bassy rhythm beating down on Martin’s umbrella as he walked a familiar cliffside path. He could see a rocky beach below him, waves made of roiling ink, more black than blue. The rain was comforting to him, distinguishing this ocean spread before him from the ocean of the Lonely and drowning out any thoughts that passed through Martin’s head. He stepped around a patch especially muddy gravel, glancing down and seeing a ghost of a reflection staring back at him.
Martin had been in a cold place today, withdrawn from the rest of the world. He had felt the fog blossoming over his mind and had known he needed to go for a bit, center himself, remind himself he was real. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither would his sense of self again, though he was making progress. Jon understood that sentiment, perhaps better than anyone else in the world, and had kissed him softly at the doorway, squeezing his hand in an unspoken promise. Martin tensed his own hand in a fist, still feeling the heat of Jon’s calloused palm under his, reveling in the idea that someone loved him the way Jon did, that someone loved him the way Jon did and that Martin loved Jon back. Martin felt his body solidifying under the rain, felt the wind buffet against him rather than pass through him.
Martin was thinking about going home when it happened.
Home, or Daisy’s safehouse, was a humble affair: reinforced windows, minimalist, a few guns hidden in the floorboards, lots of fresh fruits and vegetables from the village down the hill. It had been easy to reassign this place in Martin’s mind as home. He hadn’t felt at home since...well, definitely not since Prentiss. Maybe not before either.
The rain was letting up, and the brolly was forgotten in favor of letting the rain drop down into his hair, sopping his curls and plastering them to his skin. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt so content to be in the rain. Things weren’t good, but they were the best they’d been in a while.
The next thing Martin knew he was on the ground, ankle twisted and both shins scraped, blood and dirt mingling on his legs. He tried to stand up and cried out as his ankle immediately gave way, the hope of putting weight on it dashed on the rocks of the beach far below him.
Martin Blackwood crawled to a tree, leaning his back against it, not minding the dirt that was sure to collect on his back and rump. He winced and massaged his ankle, already feeling it begin to swell under his fingertips. With his free hand, a silver scar shining between his forefinger and thumb, he reached for his phone from his jacket pocket, hands shaking as he clumsily dialed the only number in his list of favorites.
“Martin?” Jon’s voice was warm through the tinny speakers. “I hope you’re well.” It was carefully not a question, though Martin caught the notes of careful concern.
“Tch-” Martin sucked air through his teeth. “I fell, Jon. I twisted my ankle, I think? Can’t-ah-can’t walk.”
“Oh. Martin, dear,” Jon’s voice was softer, and Martin could practically see his love’s fingers, itching to do, to fix. “Do you need me to—I can come get you, if you like. I haven’t…I haven't looked. But I can, if you want me to.”
Martin smiled despite himself, hearing Jon’s cautious phrasing. “Please, yes. I’m pretty sure I’m near a picnic park, if you want to drive there and get me? Not sure this is a drivable trail.”
“Did you pass anyone?”
“…no?”
A pause. Martin heard static crackling through the phone. “No one will be there. I Know where you are, Martin. I’ll be there soon.”
Ten minutes and enough ice packs to ease the pain of a full rugby team later, Martin was laying in the back of Jon’s small car, heat blasting on him to dry his now-soaked clothing. There were perks to having an all-knowing partner, it turned out.
Later that evening, Martin was tucked into the couch, his head pleasantly nestled in cushions and his feet in Jon’s lap, who was carefully massaging his feet and ankles, probing for any long-term injuries with his Eyes. A mug of tea grasped between his hands, Martin sighed softly and felt warmth flood his face. He hadn’t been alone this time. He wouldn’t be alone ever again.
#the magnus archives#tma#jonathan sims#martin blackwood#jonmartin#jmart#magnuspod#jon sims#fanfic to a tea#I twisted my ankle a few days ago and was sad my partner couldn’t comfort me#so this blossomed#enjoy!#hurt comfort#TMA fanfic#the magnus archives fanfic
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TIN CAN (2020) Reviews and release news for claustrophobic sci-fi movie
TIN CAN (2020) Reviews and release news for claustrophobic sci-fi movie
‘Your fate is sealed’ Tin Can is a 2020 Canadian science fiction film about a parasitologist who is imprisoned in a life-suspension chamber. As the world faces a deadly plague, she must escape and destroy the last of her kind. Directed by Seth A. Smith from a screenplay co-written with Darcy Spidle. The Cut Off Tail production stars Anna Hopkins, Simon Mutabazi, Michael Ironside, Amy Trefry, Tim…
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#2020#Amy Trefry#Anna Hopkins#Infection#Michael Ironside#movie film#review reviews#sci-fi#Seth A. Smith#Simon Mutabazi#Tin Can#trailer
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DC Kink Meme Prompts List
Since the kink meme is getting a lot of attention and growing daily, I thought I’d post a convenient place where I can keep track of the prompts that I’d like to see filled again. I figure you’re all here because we share similar interests and this way, if you’re a writer with looking for a prompt, you don’t have to scroll through the almost 400 prompts that are currently posted.
So here we go. Beware, this is a kink meme. These are nsfw and some may be triggering.
JayDick Watersports - Filled HERE
sub!Jason & Dom!Dick are in a consensual D/s relationship that has a heavy Master/slave dynamic (whether 24/7 or primarily during sex is up to you!). They're on a stakeout one night, and it's really cold, and, aw, fuck, Dick needs to piss, but he doesn't want his dick to freeze. Good thing he's got his bitch there with him, right? Dick pissing in Jay's ass preferred just to show the level of not caring about Jay's comfort [it's still cold!], but totally not gonna complain about piss drinking, either, if Dick's feeling a little more charitable. Is Jay surprised because it's the first time Dick has done this? Is this a normal, expected duty that he performs regularly? That's up to you!
Tim/Jason A/B/O - Filled
In an A/B/O world where omegas are in charge and alphas are treated like animals, or kept as pets, CEO Tim decides to treat himself to a new toy and buys Jason. Feel free to go as wild as you like with the kinks, I'm pretty unsquickable
Tim/Jason Stalker!Tim - Filled on the Meme by anon and HERE (by me)
Older Tim, younger Jason, where Tim's stalking gets a little obsessive once Jason takes over as Robin, and he starts stalking Jason out of costume as well as at night. A little judicious hacking later and he's able to keep an eye on Jason's internet activity too. Once he finds Jason looking at gay porn he knows he's got an in. And he starts blackmailing Jason, online at first, but escalating every time he gets Jason to go a little further, until he gets him to submit in person.
Slade/Dick/Jason - Filled amazingly HERE
Dick's been with Slade for a while, and now that he's stopped fighting and given into his training, Slade thinks he deserves a reward. Every good boy deserves a puppy, and Batman's new Robin looks like he could fit the role perfectly.
Jason Todd - Object Insertion - Filled on the meme (art)
Honestly, that's all I've got for you. I just want someone making Jason take things up his ass that have no business being there. Consensual or not are both fine! Any ship, though definitely a strong preference for Roy, Slade, Tim, Kyle, Dick, Roman or Ra's. Preferably not underage, but I'm not entirely opposed.
Ra's/Jason - Filled HERE
Ra's test drives an undunked Jason. The boy must be useful for something, after all, and he looks so pretty in chains. ABO welcome.
Prompt- Pegging (Jason) - Filled HERE
Jason gets pegged by one (or more ;)) of the lovely ladies of the DC universe. And enjoys it thoroughly Pairing is dealer's choice. <3
Bruce/Jason
Bruce takes in Jason off the streets, but more for use as a personal whore than to be Robin. Bonuses for Bruce still adopting Jason and getting off on fucking his son. EXTRA bonus points for Alfred's unfazed acceptance/support of it and perhaps even his participation.
Jason Todd Intercrural Sex - Filled on meme
This man deserves more thigh fucking and so do we! All ships welcome!
No Title - Bruce/Jason, Dick finds out Bruce has been sexually abusing Jason
One of the other prompts made me realize that while there are a lot of fics where Jason discovers Bruce has been abusing Dick, there are none the other way around and suddenly I have a craving. So I would like for Dick to find out (maybe right after Jason returns, Dick catches them and overhears Bruce say something to indicate it used to happen regularly) that Bruce had been sexually abusing Jason since the moment he found him and try to save him. And like, because of his background as a child prostitute, Jason kind of thinks it's normal or that it's the only way he could earn love? Maybe Bruce implies that Jason is useless otherwise and he'd end up back on the streets if he's not useful. Maybe Bruce is even happy to point out that the reason he never even considered touching the others is because they were too good for it, pure and wholesome, while Jason was ruined goods.
Dick/Jason fuck-or-die bottom!Jay
I would absolutely kill to see a fic where Dick is forced to fuck Jason (for whatever reason but preferably not due to sex pollen/aphrodisiacs/drugs - I would prefer if they were both in their right minds please) Preferably they wouldn't be in a relationship or have secret feelings for each other and this would be mutual noncon/rape with a focus on how horrified they are that they're having to do this to each other. I would really, really like if it was bottom!Jason for this, but that there is acknowledgement that Dick is being raped here too!
Skeezy Ric Grayson
One specific fic I read has completely coloured my perception of Ric, and now I'm just desperate to see him being a total creep. Perving on his siblings and former friends. Would love to see him not take no for an answer, especially with someone who doesn't want to fight back because "it's still Dick in there somewhere, I can't hurt him" or something like that. Preference for Wally (HiC who?) or Jason, but Tim, Roy, Babs or Donna would be okay, too! A/B/O with Alpha!Ric would be a bonus but isn't necessary.
Cassie/Rose bondage spanking and D/s, semi-dubious consent
Cassie has had enough of Rose mouthing off and causing trouble, so she ties her up with her lasso and lectures her. Rose mockingly asks her if she’s going to spank her for being a bad girl, and much to her surprise, Cassie does. They both enjoy it much more than expected
Nyssa/Talia
Nyssa/Talia, set post-Death and the Maidens, Talia restrained while Nyssa gets her off, begging to be allowed to reciprocate. Bonus points for twisty fucked up Nyssa POV with all kinds of big global megalomaniacal justifications for what she's doing and how important it is to the greater good. (Reposted from old DC kinkmeme)
Jason Todd/Dick Grayson/Roy Harper/Koriand’r
Kori loves watching her subs play with each other and rewards them well for good behavior
JayTim hatesex
Jason and Tim having incestuous-sibling-rivalry-hate-sex against the memorial
Any Bats/???, Alfred has to clean up
Poor Alfred often gets stuck cleaning up the mess when any of the family bring partners over. The crackier the circumstances the better!
Slade/Jason identity porn
Slade and Jason fuck while in costume as and pretending to be Batman and Nightwing respectively
Kyle Rayner/any
Kyle winds up working as a stripper somehow. Some other heroes find out and pay him a visit
Batfam/Jason; non con or resigned-to-his-fate cumdumpster!Jason
Could also be Earth-3 Owlfam/Jason. A/B/O welcome but it doesn't have to be. Would appreciate any one or combination of the following: dehumanization/objectification, humiliation, public sex, breeding kink, restraints, fucking machines, cum enemas, lots of cum in general, size kink... I just want something unapologetically filthy. I'm pretty much good with everything but scat.
Dick/Tim non/dub-con, universe hopping
Dark Dick from a dark universe ends up in the main universe, where he is delighted to find a brand new Timmy to play with, who unconditionally trusts his brother and doesn't know he's been replaced. Cue Dick slowly luring him in so he can have his fun. Tim doesn't realize until it's too late, or doesn't realize at all and has no idea how his beloved older brother could do this to him. Main universe has fully platonic, familial relationships within in the batfam. Feel free to imply/state anything you like about the dark universe. Grooming/slowly warming Tim up to more and more touches, crying, overstimulation, bondage, or any combination thereof are all bonuses
Young Justice S3 Dick/Jason omegaverse
Alpha!Dick Grayson is stuck on a mission and somehow has to help the mysterious Red-Hooded omega through his heat. But they have to stay quiet in order to not wake the pup Damian sleeping right next to them. Preferably there's an identity reveal in there where Dick finds out the omega is Jason Todd under the mask.
Addict!Roy Harper Noncon
Noncon (or possibly dubcon, if the manipulation is clear enough to readers) with Snowbirds Don't Fly era!Roy Harper as the victim. Could be an OC, another Titan, a Leaguer, a canon villain... Dealer's choice! Looking for something that really focuses on how he's being taken advantage of, rather than just "can't technically consent because he's high, but is totally into it."
Woder Woman/Batman, Rough Sex
Bruce loves it when Diana is rough with him
Bane/Bruce, violent noncon
Something set during Knightfall, where Bane decides to take “breaking the Bat” even further by raping Bruce and possibly also his precious little Robin
Jay/Tim bdsm AU, sub Jay
What it says on the tin. Was thinking maybe also an arranged marriage of sub Jason to dom Tim Drake, to cement a business union but also because subs aren’t full citizens.
Robin!Jason/Bruce Somnophilia
Bruce drugs his new little Robin and slips into his room. He takes his time with him, enjoying Jason before carefully opening and fucking him. Would be great if Jason wakes up towards the end but can't do anything but take it- maybe because of the drugs, maybe because of the way Bruce is holding him down, or even because he likes it.
Sidekicks/Villains noncon glory wall
Any sidekicks you want—Speedy, the Robins and Batgirls, Kid Flash and Impulse, the Wonder girls, etc.—being displayed in a glory wall, leaving their holes open for fucking. Interested villains can pay to fuck any hole they desire, and they enjoy wrecking the sidekicks and filling them with come
Robin!Jason/Villains & Henchmen?
Robin Jason gets captured and tied up by the villain of the week, who decides to take advantage of the situation. Robin is blindfolded and groped/fucked by the villain and maybe some henchmen while waiting for Batman to rescue him. Batman finding a bound and blind Jay too tempting to resist is a bonus.
Dickjay daddy kink
Older! Dick and bottom! Jason. Jason came back years later and Dick is around 40.
OmegaJason/Batfam first heat, lactation
It's Jason's first heat and the alphas of the pack know that his milk is on its way soon. All it needs is a little encouragement. A few knots and some nipple play should do it. His milk tastes perfect as it starts to flow.
Jason/Dick, Jason/RomanSionis, Hooker!Jason & Officer Grayson
So this is based off a discussion from AGES ago in the jayroman discord server that I still think about to this day XD A no capes au in which Jason never gets picked up by Bruce and ends up a crime alley prostitute who somehow along the way caught the eye of Black Mask and winds up working for him. And Black Mask has basically the whole city in his pocket, including the police force, which is why it’s so annoying when this little upstart, Officer Dick Grayson, starts to try to challenge his hold on the city, the little goody two-shoes denying any and all bribes and refusing to back down in the face of threats. And it should be easy to squash one annoying little bug, but somehow all attempts have failed and he can’t openly go after him without risking his reputation as a clean, law-abiding businessman, a reputation that’s slowly starting to unravel thanks to the dogged efforts of Officer Grayson, because the little shit is annoyingly not as stupid as his attempts to go after Roman would make him seem and despite all of Roman’s power and having basically the entire police force and the various other government officials Roman has in his pocket against him, he has made far too much headway in his endeavors So Roman gives Jason the job of seducing Dick, because if bribery and threats don’t work, video evidence of an officer fucking an underage hooker makes excellent blackmail material, and should be enough to take him down for good if he ever steps a toe out of line again Except no matter how Jason tries to seduce him, Dick is just too decent a guy to take advantage (Ex: Jason: *shows up wearing even more revealing clothes than the night before.* Dick: “You must be cold, here, take my jacket.” etc.) And before he knows it, Jason finds himself growing weirdly fond of the infuriating idiot with his stupid puns and painful sincerity
Roman Sionis/Jason Todd, AOB noncon impregnation gang rape
Intersex AOB verse. Roman wants to punish and claim the upstart omega, so he plugs Jason’s cunt and lets his men anally rape Jason until the omega begs Roman to breed his pussy
TimKon, a/b/o, alpha!Tim, bottom Conner
Humans have a/b/o. Kryptonians do not. Alpha!Tim thinks that he shouldn't bother Kon about Tim's rut. Kon thinks otherwise. Whether Kon can keep up with Tim (superpowers got to be good for something, right?) or is overwhelmed is up to anon :) I am absolutely unsquickable so whatever extra kinks are fine with me. Just please top!Tim only. Please, my crops are dying.
past romanjay now mobJay, gangbang
After getting tired with his new toy, Roman decided to just give his subordinates a chance to have fun with it. But mostly he just want to see the red hood to get more humiliated after destroying his empire.
Damian Wayne/Jason Todd, bestiality
It's time for Damian to introduce his new acquired pet to the pack, Titus and Ace.
Tim gags and spanks Damian
Red Robin has to take Robin out on patrol because Batman is away, Damian is reckless and keeps disobeying orders so Tim punishes him while having him gagged for being mouthy. can progress to something more sexual but doesn't have to be. Damian secretly enjoying it is a bonus.
Deathstroke/All the Robins
Slade really has a thing for fighting and chasing after Batbrats…
Rose/Jason mommy kink edging and pegging
Jason wants to be a good boy for mommy, Rose rewards his good behavior
Jason Todd/Kyle Rayner hatesex - Filled
I’d love some rough, angry, violent hatesex between these two. Bonus points for snarky asshole bottom!jason and kyle using his ring to make restraints/other kinky constructs ;)
Flashpoint!Father Todd/Incubus!Dick
Incubus!Dick seduces Father Todd. Jason holds out longer than most but Dick prides himself on being irresistible. He’s never failed before and he doesn’t plan to start now. But maybe, instead of his usual dine-and-ditch MO, Dick think’s he might like to savor this meal for long. Jason falls so beautifully. (bottom Jason please) Catholic aesthetics, blasphemy as kink, church sex (altar, confessional, pews, etc)
Flashpoint Thomas Wayne/Father Todd
Thomas Wayne as Batman bends Father Todd over the altar. In uniform. (At least for Thomas. It would be super hot if he strips Father Todd out of his robes first. Maybe everything except his rosary?)
Jason/Tim rape
Tim ties down Jason and rides(rapes) him. Pls let Tim use Jason as nothing but a mere meat dildo.
Titans/Dick, Titans/Jason, Titans/Tim consensual gangbang - Filled
The not-so-secret tradition of team bonding by fucking the current Bat on the Teen Titans is well-adhered to, especially given the enthusiastic consent of all participants Feel free to include any or all: garden sex, pool sex, power use, DP, riding, pegging, toy use, CBT, nipple play, cockwarming, CFNM/CMNM, and consensual somno All other kinks welcome excluding scat, watersports, emeto, ageplay, vore, and anything else bloody
Thomas Elliot/Bruce Wayne (Rape/Non-con)
Bruce doesn't realise how obsessed Thomas really is with him. Leads to Hush raping Bruce. Can be when Bruce knows who Hush is or when he still doesn't know.
Evil!Dick and Jason, noncon or dubcon
Jason comes back to his safehouse and is surprised to find Dick already there. After the initial surprise, Jason is quick to find out that there's something... off, about this Dick. He's not acting like his usual self. It turns out this isn't the usual Dick that Jason is familiar with, instead, he is a darker version of him (drugged? Talon from Earth-3 that somehow ends up in the main universe? other possibilities? all welcome options!), and this Dark!Dick is obsessed with Jason and wants to fuck him... and he doesn't take no for an answer. So there's a setup for a non-con or dub-con(in case Jason also has a crush on main Dick) for you. Restraints (gags, ropes, tapes etc.) are also welcome but doesn't have to be present.
Kon-El/Lex Luthor Daddy Kink DubCon
Lex genetically programmed Kon to need his daddy to fill him up when he created him. Lex made Kon to check all his boxes (ie Superman, something he made, a gifted teenager). Kon can’t actually consent because of programming, and he doesn’t want it until he’s getting it. Can be simple daddy kink or full of abdl. Bonus points for trans!Kon
Guy Gardner/Bunch of Aliens possible Dubcon/Noncon
Macho, hotheaded, shit-talking Guy is the embodiment of hyper-masculinity, and that arrogance of his gets him into a lot more than just a bar fight. All of Guy's enemies seem to be of the huge, muscular variety, so let's see the most stocky lantern get put in his place. Does he secretly love it? Does he outright hate it? Maybe all that shit-talking was just a ploy to finally get someone to "punish" him right. The choice is up to you. Maybe it's a bunch of random aliens Guy's ticked off in a bar. Maybe all that showboating's pissed off Kilowog or Arkillo. Maybe Lobo's still put out after being tricked one too many times by Guy. Perhaps, Atrocitus's still kinda harboring a grudge for Guy kicking him out of the Red Lanterns. Then there's always the way too touchy Dementor with his Vuldarian kin. I'm all for any other kinks or situations, I just would prefer no bathroom stuff. Go absolutely wild.
Black Mask/anyone, bathroom control, omorashi - Filled on meme
I'm a simple person with simple needs: Roman controlling whether or not someone's allowed to piss. can be consensual or noncon torture, the victim can end up pissing themselves or make it to the bathroom safely. just as long as Roman's in total control of the situation, and smug about it. bonus points: tears, begging, banter, degradation, embarrassment, additional torture, anything else along those lines. watersports only, please, no scat!
Roy Clones/Dick gangbang omegaverse
YJ season 3 episode 4 has excellent gangbang material just so you know Add omegaverse to it and its perfect Noncon/dubcon is accepted also
Titans/Jason Gangbang
Prefer comics based more than the show but either is fine. Dick and his friends welcome the new Robin the Titans way, by breaking in that hole. New kid is always the team toy, and it's even more fun now that it's Nightwing's bratty kid brother. Consensual or non con, dealer's choice. Double (or triple) penetration, dirty talk, and powers used for sex are favorite kinks but I'm good with pretty much anything.
Willis Todd/Jason Todd, Mob/Jason; Incest and forced underage prostitution
Willis pimps out his kid for cash and drugs. Catherine either pretends she doesn't know or knows and helps/doesn't care. And like any good salesman, he makes sure to test out his product to make sure it's up to snuff.
Make it cruel and awful and hopeless. Dehumanizing and degrading. Jason is just a hole to sell and use. belting in sensitive areas, beatings, violent sex, cum play, blood play... I just want something dark and nasty.
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Woo! Ok. I’ll try to keep this up the best I can. I’ll link/mark when prompts are filled so that you guys can check it out if you want (all filled prompts can be reached by the link in the title, but some have ao3 links that I put on the “Filled” note).
I’ll also reblog this with any new prompts that come up or if I find I’ve forgotten one.
#DC Kink Meme#long post#too many things to tag#content and trigger warnings apply to some of the prompts#enter at your own risk#mostly Jason Todd centric#but others that I liked too
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‘It’s only a tin full of Humans’- an Analysis of ‘Sardines’
Spoilers- please only read after watching 'Sardines'
Sardines was the first ever episode of ‘Inside No.9’ to be both filmed and broadcast (if I am correct it was the pilot episode for the show). The episode is a terrific statement of intent. It illustrated how Pemberton and Shearsmith would use a single location to skilfully tell a complex story and how they would manage to take the narrative of each episode in surprising and frequently dark directions.
Shearsmith and Pemberton have spoken about the fact that the original intention was to write an episode to see how many characters they could fit into the wardrobe. They managed a very impressive twelve. To this day this remains the largest cast of named characters of any Inside No. 9 episode. You can absolutely enjoy the episode for the way the wardrobe gets more and more full and the social comedy of the interactions this causes. It carries on the tradition of dark social farces of Alan Ayckbourn. Pemberton and Shearsmith have both appeared in stage productions of Ayckbourn plays (indeed Pemberton actually appeared in Ayckbourn’s ‘Season’s Greetings’ alongside Katherine Parkinson) . Their long-time producer Jon Plowman suggested the dark ending.
The game of Sardines in this episode acts as a metaphor for the claustrophobia of the relationships between the characters. It is symbolic of people get trapped in a social situation with people they would rather avoid. Rebecca is forced to interact with her fiancé Jeremy’s ex -girlfriend Rachel and confront the fact he has not moved on from her. It is symbolic for the fact that several of the characters have secrets or agendas they want to hide from others that will eventually be revealed by this enforced closeness (such as Mark and Elizabeth who want to use Andrew to get a business deal). But most importantly it acts as a metaphor for the claustrophobic relationships caused by a significant secret involving several characters that is revealed at the end of the episode.
The ostensible plot of the episode concerns the character of Rebecca (played wonderfully by Katherine Parkinson) who is celebrating her engagement party. While Rebecca is the central character and we have a plot centred on her growing discomfort at her fiancé Jeremy’s apparent closeness to his ex girlfriend Rachel who is also attending the party, the episode actually turns out to be about something very different…
For it turns out the apparently mild mannered and socially awkward Ian (Tim Key) has decided to use the party as the occasion to take his revenge for the for abuse he suffered as a child. Tim Key is excellent as ‘Ian’ and he is absolutely chilling in the final moments of the episode.
But ‘Ian’/Pip (as I will call him) was not the only victim. The implication in is that Rebecca’s brother Carl ('We weren't all that lucky, were we John?') and John (Marc Wooton) were also abused by Rebecca and Carl’s father Andrew (brilliantly played by Timothy West). ‘Stinky’ John will not wash because the smell of soap reminds him of the abuse he suffered. John’s unwashed smell upsets the other characters not just because it is unpleasant but that it is an unconscious reminder that there is something amiss in these characters past (he quite literally creates a ‘stink’). It also explains Carl's fear of intimacy and his anger when Stuart confronts him about it (and why he gets annoyed when Stuart discusses the smell of carbolic soap with him). We also see he is deeply uncomfortable being back in his childhood home.
There are some clues early on that ‘Ian’/Pip is not what he seems. He makes several morbid jokes such as the date of Rebecca’s wedding being 11/9 and his initials being RIP. These are not just a product of his social awkwardness. They foreshadow his later murderous actions. He also acts in a creepy manner toward Rachel when asked if he is dating anyone (‘I’ve had some experiences’ could refer to his abuse)
It could be argued that ‘Ian’/Pip is the Id to Carl’s Superego. They look alike, are dressed similarly and both wear glasses. When ‘Ian’/Pip accidentally calls Rebecca a bxtch and apologises, Carl jokes he is right. ‘Ian’/Pip ‘misinterprets’ Rebecca’s explanation of Carl and Stuart being partners. This causes Stuart to explain in no uncertain terms what the nature of their relationship is (something Carl himself is unable to do). Carl is the one character that shows any sympathy or anger on Pip’s behalf at the end and he tries to talk to him when his identity is revealed. ‘Ian’/Pip starts singing the Sardine song (written by Spike Milligan) to reveal his identity and Carl’s anger when his father sings this song shows he also associates it with his abuse. It is no accident that ‘Ian’/Pip’s revenge happens at the very location that the abuse of several characters occurred. We see Carl’s discomfort at being in the room (which Rebecca picks up on). He also says he hid in the wardrobe as a child. So ‘Ian’/Pip’s actions also reflect Carl’s own anger at what happened to him and the people who hurt him.
Andrew is shown to be a powerful overbearing character. He thinks nothing of bullying everyone, forcing Stuart, Lee and John into the wardrobe (probably sealing all the characters fates), belittling Carl and shattering Mark’s business hopes. He refuses to admit he did anything wrong and cares nothing about Carl’s discomfort at his behaviour. Perhaps Andrew is so keen on the game of Sardines as it reflects how he enjoys controlling the actions of others and keeping them in a space where he has ultimate power. Similarly Rebecca seems keen on the game and forcing others to play it because it allows her a measure of control over them and events. She cannot control the situation with Jeremy and Rachel but she can make them play this game. As several reviewers have also noted Sardines is a children’s game so it says something about Rebecca she seems so keen on it and the other guests that they go along with the game. Geraldine mentions Rebecca and Carl’s sister Caroline, who is married with young sons, is not attending the party. Rebecca’s discomfort when this is pointed out may indicate Caroline is aware of Andrew’s abusive behaviour and does not want him around her and her children. She quite literally refuses to play the game and put herself into this claustrophobic unhealthy situation (saving herself from the assumed final fate of the characters in this episode).
The episode does include some pointed class commentary in the treatment of Geraldine (Anne Reid). She had been Rebecca and Carl’s nanny and assumes that she has been invited as a guest to honour her role in their life. She is not aware she is still perceived as a servant as she had actually been invited to serve drinks. Ian may be rude when he demands she serve him champagne but at least he is not being hypocritically polite like Rebecca. The other characters make fun of her appearance (‘feed the birds’) even though she has probably gone through a lot of effort to appear well dressed for the party. It is worth noting ‘Ian’ makes a pointed comment ‘Shouldn’t she be using the staff toilet?’ about the other character’s attitude toward Geraldine. Geraldine remains blissfully unaware of how the other characters real feelings toward her and even sides with Andrew against the accusations ‘Ian’/ Pip made about him. This shows her lack of awareness of how the family she worked for actually view people who are not of the same class as them. In the end she gets punished along with the other characters by ‘Ian’/ Pip for this. Indeed his actions seem to be punishment toward the type of people who allow people like Andrew to operate.
It is worth analysing the relationship between Carl and Stuart. We have to assume they have been together for a reasonable period of time as they live together and are at the old married couple stage of bickering. Why would the highly repressed Carl choose to be with a man who is so extravert in his behaviour and open in his sexuality? Carl seems almost embarrassed and ashamed of Stuart during the events of the episode. Perhaps there is a clue in when Stuart explains his relationship with Carl to ‘Ian’ (When he says ‘We’re queer dear, get used to it’ it seems as much aimed at Carl as ‘Ian’). Carl doesn’t need to bother to explain Stuart’s role in his life or be public about his sexuality because Stuart does it for him. Could it be that Carl got together with Stuart because he knew that this would happen? This places a huge emotional burden on Stuart of being ‘out’ on behalf of both of them. He also has to deal with the hurt of Carl refusing to be more public about their relationship. When Carl calls him his ‘flatmate’ Stuart reacts by leaving the wardrobe and his hurt is evident. This explains some of why he acts so outrageously. He is both trying get Carl to be more open about being gay and to acknowledge they are a couple in front of others. Indeed, Stuart is the one character in the whole piece who is open in his sexuality and who is comfortable discussing sex.
This is symbolic of Stuart’s more open and outgoing nature. Stuart tries to put the other people in the wardrobe at ease by joking with them like he does with Geraldine and Rachel (even if his jokes may be inappropriate!). Stuart is also the one character (seemingly) who cannot be contained by the wardrobe and he leaves it at least three times. He does not have any hidden agenda in attending the party unlike several of the characters. Stuart is also obviously from Northern England and presumably working class in contrast to rest of the party attendees (bar Geraldine) who are southern and upper-middle class. Did Carl chose to be with a partner who was from a completely different background because of his feelings of discomfort at his own background?. It is also interesting Stuart does not wear a suit like all the other male characters (bar Ian who is considerably younger than the other men). Shearsmith is just fabulous as Stu, managing to convey the vulnerability beneath Stu’s camp exterior.
Stuart has also had to deal with Carl’s fear of intimacy without having any explanation. Carl is so locked in his pain he finds it hard to reach out to Stuart . Pemberton invests the line ‘You have no idea!’ with such power- indeed his performance as Carl manages to bring out all the pathos and repressed anger of the character (Worth noting Reece Shearsmith confirmed in a twitter exchange with Charlie Higson Carl’s look is based on the personas of the artists ‘Gilbert and George). Both have been unable to communicate in a healthy manner about the issues at the heart of their relationship. But according to a tweet Reece Shearsmith sent shortly after the episode was broadcast, there was a section where Carl and Stuart were reconciled
https://twitter.com/ReeceShearsmith/status/431805111888003072?s=20
While this section has never been aired it may be supposed it built on Stuart's realisation of what Carl had been through as a child and its impact on him and Carl’s realisation of the pain his behaviour was causing Stuart. This mutual realisation would have hopefully offered them a way to move forward together and communicate more openly. It would have also shown they did genuinely care for each other and want their relationship to work. It is a pity the BBC has not released the scene as a DVD/Blu Ray extra. It would have made the eventual resolution of the episode even more powerful.
It is worth noting that 'Sardines' was filmed around the time of revelations about historic child sexual abuse involving powerful men in the UK. This primarily focused on figures in entertainment in the 1960s/70s (Operation Yewtree) but would also involve investigations into MPs and other figures of authority (such as Operation Midland and Operation Athabasca that looked at Cyril Smith and his associates). When discussing this episode in the South Bank show about their career Steve Pemberton said he and Shearsmith were keen to treat the topic sensitively and with care. Certainly the episode shows the long term damage to several men of both the abuse they subjected to and the fact their abuser was allowed to silence them.
The episode seems to be saying that failure to address such abuse ends up destroying all involved- the abuser (Andrew), the bystanders who turned a blind eye (such as Geraldine) , those associated with the abuser (Mark and Elizabeth who want to get a business deal through Andrew), those who were too young or powerless to do anything to help (Rebecca) and even the abused themselves (Carl and John). If Andrew had not been allowed to get away with what he did to Pip and been made to answer for what he did earlier, Pip Carl and John might have found some resolution and peace. Pip would also not have taken the form of revenge he did.
This is just my analysis and reading of the episode. It remains one of my favourite episodes of Inside No.9
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[Character Review] Mukami Ruki – A fight between heart and brain
I. Thông tin cơ bản
◊ Tên đầy đủ: Mukami Ruki
◊ Tuổi: 18 (theo hình dáng bên ngoài)
◊ Ngày sinh: 24/4
◊ Cung hoàng đạo: Kim Ngưu
◊ Chiều cao: 180cm
◊ Cân nặng: 64kg
◊ Nhóm máu: AB
◊ Món ăn ưa thích: Súp
◊ Sở thích: trò chơi xếp hình
◊ Học sinh năm ba cao trung Ryotei
◊ Seiyuu: Takahiro Sakurai
II. Ruki và các vấn đề cá nhân
Tôi sẽ không tán tụng vẻ ngoài của Ruki đâu, việc đấy quá là rõ ràng rồi mà fangirl của anh thì càng có thể tìm ra hằng hà sa số ngôn từ để vẽ nên nét đẹp của anh ấy chứ, có đâu ít cô nàng thích Ruki chỉ vì tạo hình của anh? Nhưng cái tôi muốn nhìn qua cái dáng vẻ ấy không chỉ đơn thuần là khía cạnh thẩm mỹ mà còn là việc nhân vật này muốn thể hiện điều gì đằng sau đôi mắt điềm tĩnh vô cùng kia.
Bắt đầu với anime, ban đầu Ruki luôn gợi cho tôi nhớ đến Reiji, cái kiểu cách tương đồng giữa hai người, tất nhiên là trừ việc ngôn ngữ của Ruki không chuẩn mực như Reiji. Nhưng cảm giác đó qua đi khá mau ngay khi cảnh Ruki mang Yui về phòng anh lúc bắt được con bé bỏ trốn.
Tất cả chỉ chưa đến chục giây để cho Ruki úp tấm ảnh gia đình xuống, khóa chặt quá khứ của mình lại. Ôi không, anh chàng đẹp trai, tôi có hứng thú với anh hơn biết bao nhiêu đấy! Đối với tôi mà nói một người có thể đặt tấm ảnh gia đình ở một vị trí dễ dàng nhìn thấy như thế thật sự là người có tình cảm trân trọng đối với họ. Hơn thế, anh lại là một ma cà rồng sống cả trăm năm, thứ tình cảm con người còn sót lại trong anh ta chí ít có thể khiến tôi nhận biết được trái tim anh dù không còn đập nhưng nó chưa đến nỗi khiến anh trở thành một ác quỷ vô cảm.
Sau này khi chơi game tôi gần như muốn gào lên. Trời ơi, hoàng tử kiêu ngạo của tôi, anh có một quá khứ như thế này mà tại sao anime nó túm lại chưa đến vài phút vậy??? Nhờ chơi game tôi mới biết được quyển sách anh luôn mang theo là món quà của người cha quá cố. Tôi đã không sai mà, hy vọng vào một ma cà rồng không thuần chủng mang theo nhiều cảm xúc hơn dòng thuần đã không tắt hẳn. Chàng trai với sự lạnh lùng, điềm tĩnh ấy giấu trong mình quá nhiều cảm xúc đau thương. Quá trình chơi game khiến tôi trở nên hứng thú và tò mò càng muốn biết về Ruki. Một ma cà rồng tồn tại cả thế kỷ vẫn còn run rẩy bởi cơn ác mộng của ngày cũ, lấy thô bạo ra che lấp đi sự yếu đuối của bản thân. Tôi nên thấy thương cho anh phải không? Ruki giấu mình quá kỹ, cả một quá khứ đen tối ám ảnh anh mãi đến tận Ecstasy mới được hé lộ bởi Karl. Không phải là anh khó hiểu đến mức tôi không hiểu nổi. Tôi biết kiểu nhân vật như thế không hiếm gì, kiểu người giữ lấy tất thảy nỗi đau buồn, bị ám ảnh bởi bóng ma của quá khứ, để mặc cho bản thân bị phá hủy dần dần trong bóng tối, tự mình loay hoay mãi trong mớ hỗn độn cuộc chiến của hai nửa bản thân mình. Tôi sẽ không giải thích lý do vì sao tôi thích kiểu người như Ruki đâu (hoặc là cũng không giải thích nổi lý do).
Điều tôi muốn hiểu về Ruki là đằng sau vỏ bọc con người thông minh, bộ não của nhà Mukami đó anh có gì khác biệt nữa không? Trong game More Blood, tôi nhớ có một part game mà Yui nghe Ruki nói chuyện với con chim bị nhốt trong lồng về tự do. Tự dưng tôi nhớ về quá khứ của anh được spoil một chút trước đó trong anime, cả khi anh nói chuyện với Yui rằng cô giống anh trong quá khứ ở ep cuối anime More Blood, tự do là một điều gì đấy ám ảnh không chỉ Ruki mà cả những anh em khác nhà Mukami. Vì nó mà Ruki đánh liều dẫn bọn nhỏ chạy trốn, sự liều lĩnh ấy phải trả giá đắt bằng cái chết của anh em anh. Mặc dù Ruki có lỗi mà chẳng hiểu sao tôi ghét bỏ không nổi đứa trẻ đã cố gắng hết sức ấy.
Nói vậy thôi chứ Ruki cũng khiến tôi ức chế lắm. Tôi rất ghét ở anh cái sự cố gắng tìm lý do cho lý tưởng mà anh nhìn thấy nó chắc chắn nó sẽ sụp đổ, để đến khi nó thực sự vỡ ra thì chính anh lại chìm trong đống đổ vỡ đó. Anh phạm sai lầm nhiều lần vì anh yếu đuối và phân vân quá. Anh bảo thủ, ngay khi anh biết rõ mười mươi là sẽ chẳng có hy vọng nào cho cái kế hoạch trái táo Adam nữa anh vẫn cố kéo dài thời gian, tự mình vùng vẫy trong mớ rắc rối do chính anh tạo ra để đến nỗi tất cả mọi thứ anh có một lần nữa bị phá hủy bởi ngọn lửa trong tay Ayato (trong game). Sau chừng ấy thời gian anh vẫn không trưởng thành và dứt khoát lên được, chẳng trách Karl trong Manservant End đã bảo anh vẫn chỉ là một đứa trẻ.
Để nói về Ruki, cũng như điều đầu tiên nhắc tôi nhớ đến con người anh chính là hai chữ ‘mâu thuẫn’. Lý trí bảo anh rằng vai trò của anh là con rắn, tình cảm bảo anh rằng anh muốn có Eve cho riêng mình. Trong suốt cả hai phần game More Blood và Dark Fate không có lúc nào tôi thấy Ruki vượt qua cái vấn đề “phản bội hay không?” Tôi đã mong đợi rất nhiều vào Lost Eden khi Karlheinz đã không còn tồn tại để trở thành sự ảnh hưởng quá lớn đối với mỗi lựa chọn của Ruki nữa. Ối không, tôi quên mất tiêu là Rejet sẽ không tha cho Ruki!!! Tôi quên mất Rejet mới là ông lớn!!! Damn you, Rejet!!! Vậy là Ruki vẫn không thoát khỏi tình cảnh lý tưởng bị đạp đổ. Cái người bấy lâu anh vẫn kính trọng, thậm chí coi như Cha hóa ra lại là nguyên nhân gây ra bi kịch trong quá khứ cho gia đình anh! DAMN YOU, REJET!!!!!!!!!!! Lần nữa tôi sẽ được chứng kiến đứa trẻ ấy giấu kín tất cả nỗi đau của mình, vùng vẫy trong bóng tối với niềm tuyệt vọng? ‘Mâu thuẫn’, dùng nó để miêu tả Ruki chắc là không sai đi?
Bên cạnh việc Ruki vẫn chỉ là một đứa trẻ trong vỏ bọc một người đàn ông trưởng thành, tôi nghĩ là mình sẽ quảng cáo cho Big Brother về khía cạnh ‘soái ca’ của anh. Tất nhiên Diabolik Lovers không hẳn là một game ngôn tình hường phấn nhưng cách Rejet xây dựng nên các Diaboys vẫn khiến các fangirl phải yêu thích một con quỷ máu lạnh!
Nào các sắc nữ, nói cho tôi biết các cô muốn một chàng trai như thế nào?
Đẹp trai? Nhan sắc Ruki không thiếu!
Dịu dàng? Điều các cô không thể tìm thấy ở một soái ca trên trang giấy của mấy cuốn truyện ngôn tình là giọng nói của anh ta, bất kể tác giả có miêu tả xuất sắc như thế nào các cô cũng không thể cảm nhận bằng thính giác của chính rằng giọng nói ‘trầm ấm đầy từ tính’ đấy là như thế nào. Với Ruki các cô không cần phải tưởng tượng. Tông giọng trầm ấm, ngữ điệu dịu dàng sẽ khiến các cô tan chảy ngay lập tức đặc biệt là khi có công nghệ dummy head mic huyền thoại.
Bá đạo? Ruki là một Do-S Vampire với ý thức sở hữu cao không kém bất kỳ Diaboys nào. Các cô có cần phải hỏi về khía cạnh này không?
Phúc hắc? Heaven số 1 game Dark Fate, Ruki đã dạy dỗ con thỏ non nào đấy về chuyện ‘tháo cà vạt của một người đàn ông trên giường’!
Các cô nghĩ sao về một người đàn ông biết nấu ăn và anh ta thậm chí còn nấu ăn giỏi gấp vạn lần một người con gái đảm đang như Yui? Anh ta nấu ăn cho cả một gia đình toàn mấy thằng háu ăn, coi sóc cả cái gia đình đó. Vị giác của anh ta tốt đến nỗi có thể biết được bữa nay ăn gì chỉ qua một nụ hôn! (Dark Fate Ecstasy 02)
Thế đấy, Ruki hoàn toàn có thể hút fan bằng cái danh hiệu ‘soái ca’ của anh. Tôi không muốn spoil quá nhiều đâu, vì vậy nếu đã yêu thích Ruki thì làm ơn hãy tìm hiểu về anh, chơi game, nghe CD Drama để thấy một cách trực quan nhất về anh, chứ không phải nhìn anh dưới nhận xét của những người khác.
ĐỂ TÔI NHẮC LẠI NHÉ, RUKI CÓ THỂ MANG DANH HIỆU ‘SOÁI CA’ NHƯNG ANH VẪN LÀ MỘT MA CÀ RỒNG MÁU LẠNH, MỘT THẰNG KHỐN THÍCH GỌI CON GÁI NHÀ NGƯỜI TA LÀ ‘GIA SÚC’ VÀ MỘT ĐỨA TRẺ TRONG HÌNH DÁNG MỘT NGƯỜI ĐÀN ÔNG TRƯỞNG THÀNH!
III. Ruki và mối quan hệ với các em trai
Nếu đã nhắc đến nhà Mukami thì tình cảm gắn kết giữa họ là điều không thể bỏ qua, gia đình hay Eve, sự lựa chọn ấy đã trở thành mấu chốt chính cho route của các anh nhà Mukami. Ruki là một người yêu thương và trân trọng các anh em mình rất nhiều. Trong anime, anh được thể hiện là một anh cả nấu nướng chăm sóc cho cả ba đứa em, ngay cả khi chúng nó thất vọng và khó hiểu về anh, anh vẫn là một người anh cả đáng ngưỡng mộ. Trong lúc thất vọng và bất lực về chính bản thân mình, Ruki vẫn xuất hiện kịp thời che chắn cho Azusa. Phải nói là trong khoảnh khắc ấy tôi không thấy con quái vật đã dày vò một đứa con gái vô tội đâu cả, chỉ đơn thuần là một con người dùng bản thân mình bảo vệ những điều anh ta quý trọng. Khi quay qua chơi và tìm hiểu về game tôi càng bị ấn tượng, nhất là qua Dark Fate, danh hiệu ‘anh trai tốt của năm’ chắc trao cho Ruki được rồi. Bị thằng em nó mỉa mai, bóng gió chuyện coi gia đình không ra gì, nó còn ức chế đến mức suýt cho ăn đấm nhưng anh vẫn im lặng với kế hoạch của riêng mình. Hơn ai hết anh là người cáu với bản thân nhất vì không đủ sức bảo vệ gia đình. Cho đến tận khi anh một mình đi cứu Azusa hai đứa còn lại mới tá hỏa lên. Mà không chỉ trong route của mình Ruki mới là một anh trai mẫu mực. Không khó để nhận ra người đóng vai trò vực dậy tinh thần lớn nhất cho Azusa chính là Ruki.
Thế còn về phía ba người còn lại nghĩ sao về Ruki? Anime luôn luôn khiến cho tôi có cảm giác ba người còn lại ngoài tình cảm yêu thương, kính trọng đối với Ruki còn có một kiểu ‘nhìn sắc mặt anh cả mà làm’. Khá là khó để giải thích về vấn đề này, nó không phải là họ sợ Ruki nhưng nó là một kiểu rất gần với từ ‘sợ’ đó. Khác với tất cả bọn họ, Ruki sinh ra là một quý tộc, từ cái vị trí xuất phát điểm quá khác biệt ấy nó gây ra cảm xúc ngưỡng mộ thậm chí là e ngại khi họ trở thành anh em. Trong game, cái cảm nhận về chuyện những anh em khác không muốn xâm phạm vào quá khứ của Ruki trong tôi càng rõ ràng, chính Kou cũng đã nói chỉ biết trước kia Ruki từng là một quý tộc thôi.
Nói vậy chứ sự gắn kết giữa gia đình Mukami là điều đáng ngưỡng mộ đấy nhé! Dark Fate trong route của Shuu, Yui đã từng nói rằng cô ngưỡng mộ tình cảm của gia đình Mukami, cô bảo với Shuu đối với cô nh�� vậy là một mẫu gia đình hạnh phúc mà cô muốn có.
IV. Ruki và mối quan hệ với Yui
Từ khi xem anime, mà tới cả khi chơi game tôi đã luôn nung nấu cái ý nghĩ so sánh mối quan hệ của hai người với mối quan hệ của… Cha Ralph de Briscassart và Meggie trong ‘The Thorn Bird’. Nếu như Culeen McCulough đã để một Meggie ngây thơ, trong sáng, thánh thiện khơi dậy trong Cha Ralph thứ tình cảm phản bội lại lý tưởng của bản thân ông thì Rejet lại đem đến Yui, cô gái từ Thánh đường đại diện cho mặt sáng của thế giới, để cho Ruki phải dày vò bản thân mình trong cảm giác tội lỗi nửa muốn giữ lòng trung thành với Karl nửa muốn đánh cắp Eve. Trong CD Versus II, Ruki đã từng nói anh không bao giờ muốn phản bội Karlheinz-sama nhưng đồng thời mỗi khi anh ôm Yui anh lại muốn cô, muốn đốt ngọn lửa trong tim cô để cô không bao giờ quên. Tình cảnh tiến thoái lưỡng nan đầy khắc nghiệt luôn bắt buộc Ruki phải lựa chọn trách nhiệm hay tình yêu của anh.
Với anime, khoảnh khắc khiến tôi hard ship cặp này nhất là cuối ep 11. Trời ơi, ai đó hãy khẳng định với tôi rằng Ruki đã CHỈ ôm Yui đi!!!! Nếu như cảnh ấy chỉ đơn giản là ôm thôi thì đấy sẽ là cử chỉ biểu lộ tình cảm gần gũi nhất mà Ruki chia sẻ với người khác trong cả trăm năm. Ngay cả đối với các anh em nhà Mukami thì Ruki cũng chưa từng làm thế. Yui không hề phản kháng lại dù lúc đó con bé hoàn toàn có thể bởi Ruki còn bị thương càng khiến tôi hy vọng… Sang đến ep 12, nội cái chuyện Ruki hỏi ý kiến và đoạn cuối ep anh nói chuyện với Yui về việc cô giống anh lúc trước làm tôi quyết theo thuyền couple này luôn. Tất nhiên là với Rejet thì chẳng thể biết trước điều gì cả…
Đến với game, mặc dù game cho phép đổi tên heroine mà tôi vẫn cứ muốn giữ lại cái tên Rejet đã đặt cho cô gái mà họ tạo ra. Tôi chỉ muốn là người ngoài theo dõi câu chuyện về con quỷ hút máu và cô gái thánh thiện kia thôi. Việc Yui cố gắng tìm hiểu quá khứ của Ruki, muốn nhìn rõ con người anh hẳn đã khiến Ruki thay đổi cái nhìn về cô. Ít ra ở game tôi không cảm thấy cái quá trình dẫn đến tình cảm nó bị vô lý. Nhưng cách thể hiện tình cảm của Ruki có đôi lúc khiến tôi ức chế và khó hiểu.
Thực sự là với game tôi không muốn spoil quá nhiều, vẫn luôn luôn khuyến khích các fan tự chơi để trải qua và cảm nhận bằng trực quan của bản thân, tôi không thích áp đặt quan điểm từ góc nhìn của mình chút nào cả.
V. Tổng kết
Qua cái bài lảm nhảm tràn lan này của tôi, điều mà tôi muốn nói với các fan chỉ là muốn mọi người có thể hiểu thêm về Mukami Ruki – một trong mười ba Diaboys của chúng ta, và quan trọng hơn nữa là nếu đã yêu thích thì làm ơn xin hãy để tâm vào tìm hiểu chàng trai mà các bạn yêu quý.
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for @cursed-angelica who asked for Tim and Damian bonding over something unrelated to vigilantism. Thank you so much for donating!
you can donate to cerusee’s GoFundMe page here
“Why do I have to do it?” Tim huffs into the phone cradled between his cheek and his shoulder as he stuffs his foot into his shoe, clutching at the door frame for balance. He bends down to tie it as he continues, “He hates me, and honestly the feeling’s a little bit mutual.”
“I would do it but I’m busy,” comes Dick’s unusually curt reply. “I got called into work and I’m not going to make it there on time.”
“Why can’t Jason do it?” Tim asks petulantly. “He’s in the city.”
“I already asked.”
“And?”
“He said no. He has something going on.”
“But I can’t say no,” Tim says, his voice flat. He stands up and grabs his (Bruce’s) keys out of the bowl on the counter. “Even though I have ten million things I need to be doing.”
Dick sighs, sounding a thousand times more exhausted than he had two seconds ago. “Look, if you really can’t, I’ll figure something else out, but I’ve already asked the rest of the family.”
“No,” Tim breathes, stomping into the garage and feeling like a ten year old throwing a tantrum. Or Damian throwing a tantrum. “I’ll go. You both better appreciate this.”
“Thanks, Timmy,” Dick says, and his relief can be heard in his tone. “I do. I might have to get back to you on Damian, though.”
Tim hangs up without saying goodbye, because he’s kind of upset that he was the last one Dick had called, and also not, because Dick knows how much him and Damian don’t get along, and knew best to try and find someone else to do the job that was supposed to be Dick’s up until two hours ago.
And then he feels bad for hanging up. He shoots Dick a text and then hops in Bruce’s Toyota Camry that had cost way more than it should have and yet is probably mere pocket change compared to the other cars in the garage.
The drive is short, and Tim actually wishes that it were longer, and also that this whole thing would just be over with so he could go back to brooding over the case that had been bugging Bruce last night, and the sides of him war, even as he puts the car in park and sags in the seat.
The school bell rings, and kids start to pour out.
Tim watches as Damian walks out of the front doors, towards the parking lot. Sees the exact moment Damian catches sight of the Camry. Sees the upset in his eyes that rivals the upset in Tim’s stomach.
Damian and Tim. A volatile pair. Dick’s still Batman, and Bruce is still traveling around the world being Batman, Alfred tagging along with, and Jason’s sort of okay with them, sort of not, and Tim’s sort of okay with them, too.
Sort of not.
And Damian is the sort of not.
Regardless of how much Tim has been working with Dick and Barbara and Steph and Cass again, he hasn’t really been working with Damian. Him and Damian can’t seem to mesh, and usually it’s fine, but right now—
Right now, when there’s no one else around to mediate, and there’s no choice but for the two of them to be in the same place at the same time, it’s very much not fine.
Tim’s resigned himself to his fate, though. He’s not going to talk to Damian, he’s just going to be careful and tactfully ignore the kid.
Of course, that plan goes out the window the moment another kid walks up to Damian, the sneer on his face prominent enough to match Damian on a bad day. The kid says something, and Damian doesn’t respond other than a sharp glance of reprove. The kid says something else, Damian keeps walking.
The kid pushes Damian from behind.
Tim’s out of the car before he even realizes what he’s doing.
The thing is, Damian doesn’t fall. He doesn’t really even stumble. He just steps forward with the push and turns around with a smirk on his face, an eyebrow raised the same way it’s always raised at Tim, in a is that the best you got? kind of way.
The kid doesn’t look deterred. Just annoyed. Damian just turns around and starts walking towards the parking lot again. The kid pulls his hand back and throws a punch. Tim runs, grabs the lapels of Damian’s jacket, and pulls.
Damian, who apparently hadn’t noticed him, stumbles forward into Tim’s chest.
“Drake—” Damian squawks.
“Dylan Torres, right?” Tim cuts him off with a sickeningly sweet smile to the kid who’d just tried to deck the demon child still fighting Tim’s grip. Tim lets him go the moment he’s got the other kid’s attention. “Timothy Drake-Wayne. I’m meeting with your mother next week, I believe. It’d be such a shame if she were to hear you were starting fights at school, wouldn’t it?”
The Torres kid is wide-eyed. Doesn’t say anything. Runs away.
Good.
Tim doesn’t know if he was worried for the Torres kid or for Damian. If he was worried about what would happen if it had progressed past that initial something. Just knows that there’s a weird feeling settling in his bones as he pushes (a worryingly—no, not worryingly—quiet) Damian towards the car.
They both climb in. Neither says a word for a long six minutes and seventeen seconds.
Finally, Damian asks, “Where is Grayson?”
“Work.”
Damian scowls. “I could have handled that by myself.”
“I know,” Tim says, because he does.
And he doesn’t understand why he’d rushed in like that. He knows that Damian’s more than capable of handling other people pushing him around. Or maybe that’s what he’d been worried about. Maybe Damian would have gone too far.
But according to Dick, Damian hasn’t gone too far in a long time. And this hadn’t seemed like an isolated incident.
“Then why?” Damian grits out.
Tim thinks and thinks and thinks. They’re four stoplights away from when Damian asked the question when he finally answers truthfully, “I don’t know.”
Damian blinks at him. Then averts his gaze to the window. The rest of the drive is thoughtfully quiet, and the two of them just let each other be, for once not fighting or arguing.
For some reason, when they’re in the garage and Tim’s getting out of the car, Tim says, “You know, you could just tell a teacher. Or Dick. They could stop him from doing anything.”
Damian glances at him, wary. “That is exactly the reason I haven’t said anything. I’m handling it just fine on my own.”
Tim blinks, brow creasing before realization dawns on him. He grins. “So, school is that boring, huh?”
Damian snorts. “I already know everything the teachers are trying to educate me in,” he says. “I don’t understand the reason that Grayson and Father are so insistent on an education at a public school when I already have all the knowledge I need.”
Tim rolls his eyes and starts for the door that leads into the manor. “Try social skills.”
“Father doesn’t have social skills, and he gets along just fine.”
Tim chokes on a laugh and eyes Damian as they go through the kitchen. “Was that a joke? Who taught you how to joke?”
“You’ve been spending far too much time with Brown and Todd.”
“And you’ve been spending too much time with Dick.”
“Nonsense,” Damian says, his nose stuck in the air like he’s trying to look down on Tim. It doesn’t work. “Grayson is the only tolerable one of you all.”
“Sure,” Tim says placating. He grabs a tin from the cupboard and brings it over to Damian. “Cookie?”
Damian looks a little unsure at Tim’s change of attitude, and honestly Tim’s a little unsure about it, too, but he’s not up for being angry at the demon brat right now, even if he will probably be a little upset later. But there’s a calm right now, a truce in the wake of what had happened today, a ceasefire that neither of them are sure will last long enough for them to even finish their cookies.
Even still, Damian accepts the offer, and grabs a cookie.
They eat in silence, and it’s honestly the closest Tim’s ever felt to Damian.
He’s not sure he’ll be impressed if Dick asks him to pick up Damian from school in the future, but maybe next time he won’t get upset about it right away. And maybe their truce will even last.
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they would bond over comics but find each other obnoxious at any other moment
#sparklecare#meteorcare au#sparklecare hospital#sparklecare au#sparklecare oc#cometcare#cometcare au#slite li ill#tim tin fate#art
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Bitter Beer and Very Gay Ice Cream
Rated: T
Fandom: Original Story
Relationship story: Male/Male
Description: Kei wishes he could forget the night he drunkenly made out with his male co-worker. He really does. But covering up the taste with mints and Golden Gaytime ice cream is doing nothing, and someday he's going to have to figure out what his damn sexuality is.
This is a sequel to my story Cheap Beer and Ciggie Cheeks, but you don't need to read that to understand this.
The beep of the car woke Kei up, though he had somehow driven all the way to his ex-wife’s street. He swiftly turned his head around.
“Lisa, put your seatbelt back on.”
“But Daaaaad, we’re almost here!” his daughter whined, puffing her already chubby cheeks out and kicking her little legs against his seat.
“Do you want Dad to go to jail because you couldn’t keep your seatbelt on for five minutes?” he asked as calmly as he could, ignoring the knots in his brain. Lisa huffed but put her seatbelt on. “Good girl. You wouldn’t want your mother to be upset.”
He pulled up in Jane’s driveway and got out of the car. After hugging Lisa goodbye he looked up at Jane and immediately reached into his pocket for a mint.
Jane took Lisa by the hand and rested her remaining hand on her hip, laughing a little. “I’ve never seen someone so addicted to mints. Those are actually mints, right?” she asked as she stood in front of her daughter. Their daughter. Kei nodded, looking down as he gulped two mints at a time.
That taste was still in his mouth three weeks later. Well, it wasn’t technically still there, but his stupid little brain kept reminding him of it every time he looked at Jane. The taste of bitter beer and the failure it induced.
He didn’t just take mints upon seeing Jane. After all, it wasn’t Jane who caused the taste in the first place.
He still refused to talk to Terrence unless he absolutely needed to at work but just seeing him stirred up a great need to take more mints. He was going to get the mix of his Victoria Bitter and Terrence’s Grand Ridge Supershine from that fateful night out of his mind, even if it gave him diabetes in the process.
Jane saw the way Kei held his arms in, his head facing the ground, and asked him to come inside with her and Lisa. She chortled at his wide eyes.
Her house was narrow but tall, with two stories, smooth grey walls, simple vertical windows and a black, white and red modern interior. Upstairs looked considerably less modern with princess dolls, plush animals and action figures scattered on the Fanta-stained carpet. The only thing downstairs that looked messy that day was the unfinished Tim Tam on the kitchen bench.
As Kei took off his jacket and sat down in the living room, Jane headed to the bench to finish the chocolate biscuit and turn on the kettle. She took out her phone and handed it to Lisa, suggesting she put her headphones on and play a game. Lisa squealed and ran upstairs, clutching the phone like it was a precious artifact she discovered on an adventure through the jungle. Jane put two mugs on the bench and dropped a tea bag in each one.
“Do you still like green tea?” she asked after the fact. Kei grunted his yes, causing her to sigh.
While waiting for the kettle to boil and taking advantage of the rumbling sound it made, she sat on the couch next to Kei’s chair.
“Okay, what’s up? You’ve been different for a couple of weeks now so don’t try to pretend it’s nothing.” Kei was silent. “You haven’t been like this since we were married. What, did you remarry without me noticing?” Jane believed Kei’s shake of the head. “So what is it? You’re like…” She instinctively looked up the stairs for a second and lowered her voice. “You’re like the scared man you were in our bed. You’re not going through a midlife crisis or something like that, are you? I don’t think Lisa’s ready for something like that.”
Kei smiled like he was about to laugh, but didn’t go through with it. “Define ‘crisis’.”
“Tell me what’s going on and I’ll let you know if it counts.”
Kei leaned back until his head rested on the top of the chair. With the voice of a mail carrier picking up a heavy package, he said, “Just something I’ve got to work through. I’ll be fine, I swear.”
Another sigh from Jane. She said nothing but looked at Kei’s pale face and sunken-in eyes. His once ever-present dimples had hidden underneath a frown. Gone were the big gestures and nostrils that jumped up and down from his constant laughter. Gone was the smooth talker she fell in love with years ago.
The kettle clicked and Jane stood up to pour hot water into the mugs. After handing Kei his tea and sitting down, she drank and waited. And waited. And waited.
“Look, are you going to spill what’s been going on or not?” Kei looked at his distorted reflection in the tea and kept his mouth shut. “Whatever it is, you can tell me any time. You’re still my friend, okay?” Kei nodded and smiled, but with real feeling this time. His dimples finally showed themselves.
That expression soon disappeared when he remembered what he said to Terrence at work before going to the bar.
"Hey, you've got a pretty nice smile. You should wear it more often.”
Of course, he meant nothing strange when he said that. But did Terrence know that? Kei found his answer when he pressed his fingertips against his own lips and tasted the Supershine-VB blend again.
Once again he reached for his mints but this time Jane smacked his hand away. “You don’t need them. Your breath is fine.”
Kei leaned forward until his arms were on top of his knees, swirling around the mug in his hand. As he responded his swirling got faster and faster.
“You’ve got it all wrong. It’s not about my breath.”
“Then what’s it about?”
“W-well-”
“Muuuuuuuuum! Make me fairy bread!” The two parents heard little feet run down the stairs.
“Please?” Kei suggested with a gentle smile.
Lisa crossed her arms and puffed her cheeks again. “Please.”
He put his hand behind her head, guided her towards him and kissed her forehead. “Good girl.” He stood up and placed the half-full mug down. “I’ll get going. See you both Saturday.” He slipped his jacket back on.
“Wait, we’re not done talking,” Jane said.
Kei grinned at her. “You’ve said plenty.” He clicked his fingers, making the shape of a gun with his hand. “Thank you.”
When he arrived home, he spent an hour lying in bed. He stared at his cracked ceiling, which he hadn’t bothered to fix because his mind was on something else, the same thing that caused him to lie in his bed staring at the ceiling.
His house was usually spotless, with clean country-style furniture that contrasted against the industrial exterior of the building. But over the course of three weeks, takeout boxes and plastic cups had piled up around his living room. Lisa didn’t complain and Jane hadn’t seen the inside of his house in months, so he saw no reason to.
However, whenever he looked at the state of his home, he would call himself one word over and over.
“Obsessed.”
That afternoon, he forced himself out of bed. “I’m getting too old for this shit,” he said aloud despite no one being there to hear him, his ex-wife’s declaration of friendship playing in his mind like a world leader’s inspirational speech. He stumbled over to the bathroom and washed his face. He put on a smile big enough for his dimples to show and winked at his own reflection as if he was talking to May from work. After all, she was still cute, right?
Work the next day went smoothly. As per usual, Kei didn’t talk to Terrence, who kept his head down and ignored him like a good boy. Kei got a fair bit done with time to spare. He used that time to sneak into his coworkers’ cubicles and chatter about various things with them.
May even said, “You’re back. I missed happy Kei. What happened?”
Kei rubbed the back of his neck and laughed but told her nothing.
That was how the first half of the day went. Lunch was when it all went downhill. He and May were chatting in the lounge room when a jittery Terrence brushed past him in the room. Seeing that put Kei’s heart in an apple slinky machine but he had to keep a happy face and talk to May about his nostalgia for classic rock and how he was teaching his daughter how to fish. By the time Ian shouted for everyone to get back to work, sweat was dripping down Kei’s forehead like he already needed another break.
When he got back to work Ian yelled at him for getting something wrong. The worst part was when the yelling transformed into a hushed hiss.
“You lot are supposed to be smart, eh?” he asked as he quirked one corner of his mouth up and pushed his eyebrows up and down. The question felt more like an order.
Kei wondered if HR had taught Ian how to whisper.
He remained silent throughout the torrent of abuse and then had to work with the efficiency of someone who hadn’t just been yelled at. He couldn’t help but smile a little by the end of his shift, though. Working and thinking about Ian’s words did provide a welcome distraction.
Gary, the insensitive son of a bitch, came into Kei’s cubicle and asked, “Hey, you wanna go to the bar with the others? You haven’t been in a while.”
Bar. Alcohol. Victoria Bitter. Supershine. Tongue.
Kei’s cheeks flared up, prompting him to grab his little tin of mints. “Nah, I’m…. I’m good. You lot have fun.”
Gary stood there for a few seconds and opened his mouth but didn’t end up saying anything. He sighed and left him alone.
Instead of following him, Kei headed to his car and was about to go in when he saw an ice cream shop nearby. The faint smell of butterscotch tickled his nose and presented a worthy alternative to the peppermint he kept swallowing.
Then again, with the mints he practically chugged every day and now ice cream, developing diabetes was a distinct possibility.
But then the butterscotch was overpowered by rich chocolate and Kei found himself shambling like a zombie towards the ice cream shop. When he opened the door, he was reminded of what the inside of a liquor store’s freezer room was like, but it was so cool and refreshing that he didn’t feel the need to cleanse the split-second thought of alcohol with a mint. The rush of cool air brought with it the scent of caramel, chocolate, vanilla, strawberry and several more obscure flavours.
He looked around the room and saw three display freezers, one smaller than the other two. The two larger ones had a wide selection of ice creams in different tubs, while the smaller one contained various brands of ice cream on sticks. Above that small freezer was a sign indicating a sale on a particular brand of ice cream, but he couldn’t read which one from where he stood. In front of the freezers were multiple tables. Long benches were bolted to two walls beside the tables, accompanied by stools one would see in a diner in the 1950s.
Several families sat at the tables, some children happily chatting and others arguing with each other over the right to have some of each other’s flavours. The outlier, a lone middle-aged man, sat by the bench, wobbling on the stool as he tried to keep his large frame on it. He was stuffing his face with strawberry ice cream in a big paper cup. Next to him were two empty sticks and wrappers.
Kei’s heart twisted all over again. Of course it had to be him.
Terrence saw him and waved with a grin the size of the paper cup on his bench. Immediately after doing that he gulped air and looked back down at his ice cream. Kei’s initial instinct was to ignore him as per usual, but some unknown force pushed him towards him. Or perhaps it pulled him towards him.
He sat on the stool beside him. “Didn’t expect to see someone from work here.”
Terrence swallowed the ice cream in his mouth. “Yeah, this place is pretty great. By the way, there’s a special on Golden Gaytimes today. I might buy another one.”
Kei shifted his gaze from the softly smiling Terrence to the empty wrappers on the table and, naturally, they were from Golden Gaytimes.
Kei coughed. “G...Gay...times, huh?”
Terrence chuckled and patted Kei on the shoulder. “Don’t worry. The Golden Gaytime is an Australian classic. If this ice cream makes you gay, then all of Australia’s been gay since 1959.”
Laughter tumbled out of Kei’s mouth. “You know the exact year and everything? You an ice cream aficionado or something?”
Terrence winced and blushed but joined in the laughter. “Maybe. In New Zealand, they call it the Cookie Crumble instead of Golden Gaytime. I mean, Jesus, first you take our Pavlova and act like you invented it and then you take our best ice cream but give it a shittier name? This is why I never leave this country.”
He gasped through his nose and took another bite of his strawberry ice cream. “I mean, you know, I could go to Japan. Seems like a cool place.” With his head facing his cup as he finished the ice cream, he looked up at Kei for approval. Kei’s dimples returned and Terrence’s body relaxed. “Don’t, uh, tell anyone at work about this. I must look pretty pathetic to you, comfort eating like this.”
Kei stood up and patted him on the back. “I’d be a hypocrite if I did that. I came here to do the exact same thing. I’ll be back in a second.”
“Oh. Wait a second.” Terrence reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet, slipping some coins into Kei’s hand. “Get me a Gaytime. It’s my last one for today, I promise.”
Kei obliged and even got himself a Golden Gaytime. After handing one to Terrence, the two ate in silence. Kei’s tongue became engulfed in toffee, vanilla, chocolate and biscuit crumbs. He breathed slowly with contentment.
Terrence eventually broke the silence. “Work troubles? Is that why you’re comfort eating?” Kei nodded. “Same here. I swear Ian’s the garlic ice cream of people.”
“I know, right? The absolute worst. Wait, garlic ice cream’s a thing? Please don’t tell me you put something like that in your body. And I thought you had no hobbies. When did you become this ice cream expert?”
“I wouldn’t exactly call being the most cliche fat person in existence a hobby,” Terrence replied with a chuckle. “I only started looking up stuff about ice cream a few weeks ago, after… well… after I came here to forget about you.”
Kei’s entire body was lit aflame. The pounding of his heart in his ears quickly gave him a headache. The taste of Supershine took over his taste buds faster than the ice cream in his mouth could cover it, so he picked up the speed of his eating. He finished off the frozen treat so quickly that he gave himself a brain freeze.
“I-I see. Sorry,” he said hoarsely as he repeatedly slammed his hand on the bench. He touched the back of his teeth with his tongue in the hope of stopping the freeze.
Terrence waved his hand dismissively. “Nah, don’t worry about it, mate. I’ll be over you in a coupla weeks and you won’t have to worry about a thing. Maybe less than that if you keep acting differently.”
Kei looked away and scratched his cheek. “You noticed that, huh?”
Terrence froze for a second and then dropped his shoulders. “Yeah. Sorry. I swore to myself that I’d stop watching you when I’m eating lunch, but I just can’t help it. I don’t know what’s been bugging you since work hasn’t gotten any worse lately, but keep being bugged. I’ll soon get bored of watching some guy act all depressed.”
“You’ve changed a little too. You’re a little more… what’s it called… open, I guess? How did that happen?”
Terrence pointed to the now three empty ice cream wrappers and Kei understood immediately.
They said goodbye to each other and Kei drove home. In his car, the image of Terrence blushing and getting excited talking about ice cream stuck to his mind. He couldn’t stop himself from smiling.
“Adorable,” he whispered and, right after that word escaped his mouth, he stopped the car for a second, right in the middle of the road. Car horns blared from behind him and he went back to driving.
He swore under his breath. He hadn’t called an adult adorable since divorcing Jane. Yes, Jane. A woman he used to be in love with. A woman.
He remembered a question Terrence had asked him when Kei declared, during the next time they saw each other after that drunken makeout session, that he was, in fact, not gay.
"Are you… bisexual?"
He hadn’t admitted it during that conversation, but a voice in the back of his head had screamed that Terrence was spot on. When Terrence left, another voice had then argued with the first.
‘Jesus Christ, you’re not thirteen. You’re in your bloody forties and now’s not the time to be having some sort of sexual reawakening. You’re not fucking bisexual. Grow up.’
A third voice had chanted in Japanese.
‘What about Ayumu? What about Ayumu?’
The second voice had been quick to retort to that.
‘Doesn’t count. Experimenting in college doesn’t mean anything. You were both young and stupid, not middle-aged men with full time jobs and shit. And besides, it’s not like you really liked Ayumu. He just liked you.’
That response hadn’t been enough to shield Kei from the flurry of memories about Ayumu and his stupid mischievous smirk and his stupid Terrence-like face and his stupid, stupid sexual skill.
Now that Kei was in his car, the memories came back and spread heat throughout his body. He groaned and his knees bumped up and down as he tried to concentrate on the road.
When he reached home, he grinned. He hadn’t felt this young in years. He spent the next twenty minutes in solitary bliss, his thoughts gradually transitioning from Ayumu to Terrence.
As soon as that ended, shame slammed into him with the force of a ute. He went back to his old habit of staring at the cracked ceiling. He thought of his parents back in Japan. He hadn’t called them in ages and now he was doing this while thinking of things like that?
After an hour of moping about, his stomach grumbled, but before preparing dinner he washed his hands and called Jane.
He waited and waited. He exhaled and let his shoulders down when he thought she picked up the phone.
“You’re speaking to Jane Pearce. I can’t come to the phone right now, so please leave a ten-second message after the beep.”
He heard the beep before he even had time to be disappointed.
“H-Hi Jane, it’s Kei. I really want to talk to you about something. It can wait until tomorrow but I need to get it off my chest and work through some things so I kind of need your help. I don’t know if I’ll be able to actually tell you when the time comes but-”
Another beep. “Shit.”
The next day arrived and he tried to look at and be friendly to Terrence, but every time he saw him he got run over by that shame and had to look away.
Luckily, Jane called him soon after work. “What was it you wanted to talk about?”
“Uh, well, you see… Can I talk to you about this in person? Like, today?”
“I guess so. Lisa did a lot of running around today so she’s having a nap.”
“Thank you.”
He drove to her house and she prepared him some tea. They drank quietly for a moment before Kei finally started talking. “Um, you know when we were talking about me possibly having a midlife crisis?” She nodded and placed her hand on his. “Uh, well, I was wondering…” He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “Does bisexuality count as a midlife crisis?”
“I’m sorry, what? How is… Oh... Oh! I didn’t know… huh?”
Kei did something he hadn’t done in years: bow. “I’m sorry. I just… shit. This is what’s been worrying me all this time.”
Jane grabbed his arm and pushed his upper body up. “What… what should I say? Thank you for telling me, I guess. Why’d you start worrying about this now, if you don’t mind me asking?”
“I… God, I... “ Kei started trembling a little. “Honestly, to find this out about me this late in the game,” he said as rubbed one side of his face up and down with his hand. He took another sip of his tea. “You probably don’t want to hear about this from your ex.”
“I’ll survive. You’re my friend, remember?”
“Yeah. You’re right. You see… there’s this man, and…. God, I think I’m… at this point it isn’t even falling head over heels, it’s falling arse over tit. I’m a mess. You’re the only person I’ve told. I even lied to him about it.”
“Wow, that’s… quite the honour. You haven’t even told your parents before me?”
Kei slammed his mug onto the coffee table. “No way! I’m never telling them. I’ll just have to wait until they die.” His eyes widened and he began pulling at his own hair. “But, shit, they’re Japanese people with a good diet! How long are they going to live and how long will I have to keep this a secret? I should have called them but this has kinda distracted me.”
“You don’t have to tell them, but you should at least call them. They probably miss you a whole lot.”
“You’re right. But I want to make things right with Terrence first. Before it’s too late. Oh, he’s the man.” Kei laughed awkwardly. “I’ve kind of been avoiding him.”
Jane rubbed the bridge of her nose. “You’ve been what? Is he straight?”
“No, he’s gay, or at least gay for me. But if he gets over me, I don’t know what I’ll do.”
Footsteps raced downstairs. “Muuuuum! Wait, Dad’s here? Is he picking me up early?” Lisa walked up to Kei and lightly touched under his eyes. “Why are you crying?” she asked with a face contorted with confusion bordering on disgust.
Kei blinked quickly and finally felt the tears on his cheeks. “I was crying?” He turned his head to Jane. “How long for?”
Jane smirked. “About a minute.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” The colour of Kei’s face made him look like he’d just spent several days in the Gold Coast during the height of Summer with no sunscreen.
“I’d never seen you cry before. It was refreshing.”
“You bitch- uh, sorry, Lisa.” He stroked her hair. Lisa still looked dumbfounded.
“Would you like me to tell her?” Jane asked, finishing off her tea.
“Why would you want to do that? She’s a kid!”
“So? I’ve raised her to be open-minded. Have you not been doing that?” Jane leaned in closer with narrow eyes.
“I-I’ve been an excellent father. Haven’t I, Lisa? You like hanging out with Dad, don’t you?”
Lisa nodded. “But your house is a lot messier than Mum’s.” Kei flinched. “There’s food and boxes everywhere.”
Jane stood up and glared at Kei with the power of a kangaroo’s legs. “What did she say? Do you want CPS to come knocking down your door? Having a midlife crisis or whatever this is is no excuse for not putting Lisa in the best environment for her development! Let me guess, you didn’t read the parenting books I sent you, did you?”
Kei held his hands up as if to shield himself. “Calm down, Jane-”
“Don’t you dare tell me to calm down! This is your daughter! Our daughter!” With that sentence, Jane put her hands on her hips. “As soon as you get home, you’re going to clean up your house and tomorrow you’re sorting things out with Terrence and calling your parents! I shouldn’t have to mother you at this age. You’re a grown man and I thought you were responsible!”
“Alright, alright!” Kei picked up his coat and kissed Lisa’s forehead. “I’ll see you both on Saturday.”
Kei followed Jane’s order to clean his house and as soon as he was done he wiped the sweat from his forehead and beamed at the open space. Everything was back to normal. Well, almost everything.
In the middle of their lunch break the next day, Kei asked Terrence to chat outside the employee lounge. They stood by the door.
“What is it?” Terrence asked. He looked down and frowned. “Did I stare at you too much? I’m sorry.”
Seeing Terrence’s concerned face and red cheeks made Kei wonder if he should see a doctor with how fast his own heart was beating.
“No, it’s just… I…” Kei coughed. “I should be the one apologising. I’m the one who ignored you for so long.”
“It’s okay. I get it. I told you I’ll get over you soon. Then we can go back to how things were.”
“I don’t know if I want…” Another cough from Kei. He tried to get the words out but couldn’t. Instead, he looked side to side before pushing Terrence into a wall not visible from the window of the lounge door. He leaned in closer, almost touching his lips, but he stopped himself and stepped back.
“Sorry. I don’t want HR to get the wrong idea.” He turned around and began to walk back to the lounge but Terrence grabbed him by the shoulder.
“It’s fine! Go ahead. You can kiss me if you want.”
Instead of kissing him immediately, Kei wrapped his arms around his torso and gave him a big, strong hug. Terrence loosened the hug and initiated the kiss. It was soft and chaste, yet Kei could still taste a hint of blueberries from the yoghurt Terrence ate. Warmth from his heart spread throughout his entire body until he felt as if he’d just chucked on ten blankets and started watching his favourite childhood movie while it rained outside. For the first time in three weeks, he felt no need to to take a mint.
“What’s going on, eh?”
Terrence and Kei’s shoulders and back became as stiff as bamboo. They immediately let go of each other. Ian stared at them with a sneer and a scrunched up face.
“Nothing!” The couple said in unison.
Ian scoffed a laugh. “Sure, sure.” He waved his hands. “Do whatever, so long as you don’t let it interfere with work. Wanna be poofs, be poofs. It’s the 21st century.”
Kei’s legs shook, fumes coming out of his ears.
Poofs.
That word was so light and yet it dropped a painful weight onto him. Since moving to Australia, certain words followed him. He’d been called a ‘cunt’ as both an honest insult and a fun, irreverent joke. He’d been called a ‘drop kick’ a couple of times and always returned that insult with another. The word ‘dag’ was basically fused to his soul. But ‘poof’? The sound of that word, fluffy as a cloud, seemed like it was designed to hurt no one, so why did it get under Kei’s skin like no insult ever had?
He turned towards Terrence and saw no reaction to the word. Part of him wanted to get angry with him. The word applied to him more, right? Why wasn’t he frothing at the mouth?
But then he remembered something. Terrence was simply called a poof. Ian never said ‘you lot’ to him followed by some stereotype, at least not yet. Kei was no longer just ‘you lot’; he was ‘you lot’ and a ‘poof’ at once.
Kei’s fists hurt from being clenched so tightly. “Then what about my race? Is that not included in this century?” As soon as he asked that, he froze with moon-sized eyes.
Ian stormed up to them. “What did you say to me?”
Kei’s heart went cold and dropped down into his stomach. The rest of his body joined his legs to tremble in solidarity. He put on a smile but not one big enough to show his dimples.
Terrence gave Kei’s shoulder several gentle squeezes. “He just wants to be able to work without you bringing his race into everything.” With a smooth, controlled voice, Kei assumed Terrence looked as confident and manly as Kei did not feel at that moment, but when he turned towards him, he saw that he was shaking as well.
“Come on, that’s just a joke. He’s lived here awhile. He knows I’m just being a larrikin.”
Kei shook his head. “It doesn’t feel like that sometimes. I don’t want to report you to HR, but if this keeps happening, I will do it.”
Ian glared at them before turning around and leaving them. Kei hugged Terrence in thanks, basking in the warmth that the man’s arms provided.
Terrence looked at his watch. ‘1:24.’ There was still time. He hesitated before taking Kei’s hand. He cocked his head towards the lounge and Kei nodded, the dimples on his cheeks and the wrinkles by his eyes finally showing.
They chatted by the water cooler and Kei made a grand gesture to show the size of the fish Lisa caught. Terrence instinctively clapped, causing Kei’s nostrils to jump up and down again.
After work, Kei called his parents. “Hi, sorry it’s been so long. Yeah, I’m good.” His father commented in a coarse voice that Kei sounded happy. “I do?” Kei asked with a laugh. His mother asked him with a chipper voice if it was because he found a new wife. Kei laughed again, grabbing Terrence’s hand. “Well, uh, not exactly. I did start seeing someone, though. H… He’s pretty great.” The other end was silent. “Mama, Papa? Are you okay?”
“Yes, it’s just… did you say ‘he’?” his mother asked. “That’s unexpected. So you’re a… what’s the word?”
Papa pitched in. “Homo? Is that the right word?”
“No, Papa,” Kei said with a sigh, though he admittedly had to take a few seconds to remember the Japanese term. “I’m bisexual. Are you mad at me?”
“No, we’re just worried,” Mama said. “We want you to be happy. You won’t be able to marry this man, right?”
Kei’s limbs stopped shaking as relief swept over him. “Mama, it’s a bit too early for that. And I could in Australia if I wanted to.”
“Really? Then good luck! And send us some souvenirs! Talk to us next week!”
After saying goodbye and hanging up, Kei took Terrence by the hand to the pub where everything changed. Gary and their other work pals Pete, Dave and Bob were waiting for them, already chugging beers with the exception of Pete, who was on sober duty that night. They immediately made room for the two of them.
“You gonna get a Supershine again?” Kei asked Terrence, who shook his head and went up to order a Crown. Kei followed him to the bar and pretended to sulk. “I miss the taste already.”
Terrence’s cheeks looked like the end of a ciggie. “You’ll have to get used to tasting Crown with your VB. I’m not getting a hangover that bad again.” He turned to Kei. “I didn’t just say that, did I?”
Kei burst out laughing. He heard a familiar song playing in the bar and started dancing his silly little dance.
“Come on, Terry, join me, ya cunt!”
Terrence chuckled and left his bottle with the others before doing what Kei said. It was just two dags dancing badly to an old song and ignoring anyone in the bar who dared to stare at them. And they didn’t need mints or multiple rounds of beer or even ice cream to do it.
#Bisexual#story#shounen ai#romance#gay#yaoi#original fiction#LGBT#Opposites Attract#Australia#Australian slang#fiction#interracial relationship#asian australian#office romance#Cheap Beer and Ciggie Cheeks
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Hi everyone! I’ve moved Tumblr’s quite a bit over the years, but I figured that with all of this time gone by, I may as well make a masterlist of all my fics on AO3 so that you can know who I am, and what I’ve written! I’ll be splitting it up by fandom, and this masterpost is for NCIS!
List is under the cut!
Series
Gibbs’ Family [Link]
“This is a team-as-family with a dash of age regression thrown in, because yours truly is like that and loves to make the characters suffer. If you like this series, I recommend Where I Come From by TheGriefPolice, which is a fantastic series written by a fantastic writer who I am privileged to have collabed with on Swing and a Hit, If Nobody Believed in You, The Best Day, and Change. The series comes highly recommended.”
Autistic McGee Ficlets [Link]
What it says on the tin.
The Adventures of Polyamorous Parenting [Link]
Fic series where Tim is an age regressor, but no one else is.
“It all starts with a thump, and it grows from there.”
Bad Things Happen Bingo Card [Link]
Prompt fills for the Bad Things Happen Bingo.
Gibbs’ Extended Family Adventures [Link]
“Gibbs' Family has gotten understandably crowded, and while most stories focus on the MCRT, there are a growing number featuring some of the "extended family," so to speak. If the main focus is on the extended family without any of the MCRT stealing or sharing the spotlight, then those stories will also end up in this side-series, as an easy way to track them.”
Memories of a Strung-Out Fictive [Link]
A series for one of our system’s protectors to share memories of what his life was like before.
Misc.
She [Link]
Rating: T
Warnings: None
Tim McGee has never quite fit in a binary. And today, she is going to show that, no matter the repercussions he faces. Not for Tony fans, at all. You have been warned.
[Podfic] Grown Men Don’t Cry [Link]
Rating: G
Warnings: None
A podfic of TheGriefPolice's story, Grown Men Don't Cry. A little surprise for a great friend.
I (Can’t) See a Light [Link]
Rating: T
Warnings: None
Timothy McGee has struggled with depression for a while now. One night, he decides enough is enough. But the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry...
Final Straw [Link]
Rating: T
Warnings: None
Also known as I Read a Thing On Tumblr And This Idea Wouldn't Leave Me. McGee is just a tiny bit panromantic, Torres is a tiny bit of a jerk, and Delilah doesn't exist as an obstacle between them.
Seven Minutes in Heaven [Link]
Rating: T
Warnings: None
Because I'm literally the only person who writes this ship on AO3, have a "seven minutes in heaven" McTorres fic that literally no one but myself asked for.
Tattoos [Link]
Rating: T
Warnings: None
If you've ever seen someone you like and then think oh no, they're hot, then you have felt Timothy McGee's pain. His only problem? He's bisexual and Nick has some body art Tim likes. Oh, if only he didn't feel attraction to his co-workers!
The Survivor System [Link]
Rating: T
Warnings: None
They call themselves The Survivor System, because that's what they did.
They survived childhood.
They survived puberty.
They survived college.
They even survived work.
...Well, that last one needed some tweaking, seeing as Tim opened his big fat mouth.
Bullet [Link]
Rating: T
Warnings: Chose not to use warnings
Based on the song Bullet by Hollywood Undead. He's had enough, now it's time for him to jump.
He Sat on His Hands [Link]
Rating: T
Warnings: Major Character Death
A little challenge for myself in which I try to write a story using exactly 500 words.
He couldn't believe this. How had this happened? How could this happen?
He sat on his hands.
Four-Seven-Eight [Link]
Rating: G
Warnings: None
Tony wakes up in the middle of the night having problems breathing. At least Gibbs is right there to help him through it.
Coffee Date [Link]
Rating: G
Warnings: None
Bishop and Jack have a date at the coffee shop. I may or may not have gained a new rarepair ship.
“I Killed Him, Boss” [Link]
Rating: T
Warnings: None
An AU where McGee is a serial killer. Just a scene that's been bouncing around in my head for over a year.
We’ll Fix It Together [Link]
Rating: M
Warnings: Rape/Non-con
Continuation of When It's Broke (Fix It) by TT40_Angst_Queen. Going to Vance and the fallout that comes from that. This won't make a lick of sense unless you read that first. Fair warning, this is a very dark story. Read the tags and be cautious!
Swing, Batter, Swing [Link]
Rating: T
Warnings: Chose not to use warnings
What if Hicks decided to take matters into his own hands when Gibbs suspected he wasn't as innocent as he seemed? What if he decided to go after Gibbs' team as retaliation for Gibbs' suspicions? And what if the person he went after was none other than McGee?
...Spoiler alert: It doesn't end well.
A Deer Mistake [Link]
Rating: G
Warnings: None
Vance's new dress code has everyone a little...wild.
Silly String and Vacuums [Link]
Rating: G
Warnings: None
Domestic bliss between Clayton Reeves and Nick Torres because I need to know I can write something again.
It’s Not a Rose [Link]
Rating: T
Warnings: None
What was the tattoo that Kate got with Abby that fateful night?
Operation: Jack and Ellie [Link]
Rating: G
Warnings: None
Bishop likes Sloane, which makes the woman from the FBI who has history with Sloane sizable competition. Torres is a good wingman, and McGee wishes all of them could just get over themselves already.
The Bet [Link]
Rating: G
Warnings: None
It's no secret to anyone that Ellie and Nick are dancing around each other. It's not a matter of if, it's a matter of when.
Broken Obsession [Link]
Rating: M
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
McGee goes undercover on a mission and goes dark for twenty-four hours, when the team finds him again, he isn't quite the same...and they're not sure he ever will be again. Now Gibbs is left putting back the pieces of McGee's life together again, like a broken item one would focus on fixing until it borders obsession, hoping, praying that maybe, just maybe, his agent will someday come back from this...whatever "this" even is.
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13/02/2019
Chỉ là trong đầu có chút rối ren, haah, thôi thì viết ra từng cái cho mạch lạc lại suy nghĩ, không cứ buốt đầu thế này lại mất ngủ cả tuần nửa mất. Nhưng dù mạch lạc đến đâu thì cũng chỉ kể được giai đoạn thôi, còn quá trình, ngoài tôi và tôi sau này, nhất định sẽ không để mấy người biết đâu, đừng buồn nha, hì.
Chuyện là về cuộc sống hiện tại của tôi, cho dễ hình dung hơn thì là nửa kia lúc bấy giờ, nên gọi tắt là X nhỉ. Gặp X vào một chiều giữa thu tháng 8, một cô gái duyên dáng, mọi thứ từ vẻ ngoài, vóc dáng, khuôn mặt, thậm chí chỉ là một cái chào, cũng cân đối ăn sâu vào tôi đến lạ lùng. À nhỉ, trước khi gặp nhau, tôi còn có giấc mơ cực kì lãng mạn nuônn, song lại rất thực, từ chi tiết đến cảm giác, đến bây giờ vẫn có thể nhớ lại được chỉ bằng vài giây nhắm mắt, rồi cả những bài hát được ra cùng một lúc có lời trùng hợp như chúa trời đang quan sát và viết về tôi vậy, tất cả như đang muốn thúc đẩy tôi, đúng là, “And when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it” mà, *lol*. Mãi cho đến tháng 10 chúng tôi mới yêu nhau, cùng sự đồng ý của em, tức X, chúng tôi đã chọn ngày mà mãi mãi sau này tổ chức tiệc kĩ niệm sẽ là 28/08 để ôn lại ngày gặp nhau, 10/10 là về ngày yêu nhau, thật ra nói chúng tôi vậy thôi, thật ra là tôi chọn đó mọi người ạ, ngày đẹp quá trời, đúng hongg. Dù thời gian lưng chừng đường đi có hơi lộm khộm, tí ổ gà và hơi buồn một chút, nhưng vẫn là một thời gian cực kì tuyệt vời đối với tôi, vì đó là mốc thời gian đầu tiên tôi và em tim cùng chung một nhịp, chân bước cùng một sải mà. *nakedwingedboy_bowequiped_angellysmiling*
Ôi chết mất, lại não cá vàng, luyên thuyên vài câu lạc từ đông Lào xuống tận đáy đông hải, đến khổ. Về phần giai đoạn, với cả 2 chắc đều có những lần làm trầy xước nhau, nhưng tôi thì chả để tâm mấy, vì não tôi vốn không nhớ được nhiều, vui vẻ với em, nhớ còn sợ chả hết, sao lại đem đi nhớ chuyện buồn làm gì chứ, nhưng mà ngược lại thì tôi làm em buồn nhiều lắm, tội nghiệp em. Tất nhiên mọi cuộc tình thì đều có những lần lặt vặt, cãi nhau vì bất đồng là bình thường thôi, số lần cãi nếu tôi nhớ không đúng chắc là không có lần nào cả, tại tôi quên sạch rồi, nhớ toàn chuyện cười thoi nên hong kể được, hê hê. Từ đây đến giai đoạn tới, các bạn chỉ cần tưởng tượng những bộ phim cổ tích mơ mộng nhất mà chả có phù thuỷ, cũng chả có mẹ kế, chỉ là hoàng tử và công chúa quấn quít lấy nhau, mà vui hơn vì tụi tui còn du lịch với nhau, còn chia này sẻ nọ, làm lọ làm chai, rồi nhiều thứ khác nửa. Vầy thôi mà líu lo líu lo hơn một năm, cảm giác như mấy cặp vợ chồng trung niên sắp ăn tới silver anniversary ấy, đúng là lovebirds, cứ suốt ngày tè tè tí to líu lo chí choé nên thời gian nó chả buồn trôi, nó cứ quẹo qua quẹo lại thôi à, xoxo.
Và bây giờ, còn vài mươi phút nửa là gà gáy rồi, tôi vẫn ngồi đây, viết cho bản thân trong tương lai có thể hoài niệm, hay đơn giản là để tôi bây giờ có thể nhẹ lòng hơn rồi còn ngủ một chút lấy sức, khiến mẹ dạo này nhắc nhở lo lắng nhiều, nhất định sẽ bù đắp cho mẹ, cho việc này, và nhiều việc khác nửa, mẹ nha. Bắt đầu cho chuỗi ngày mất ngủ này là từ khi nào nhỉ, nếu nhớ không nhầm thì từ hôm em đi du lịch, bây giờ thì tốt hơn rồi, chỉ còn nhớ hình như là em đã trách tôi không lo cho tương lai của bản thân, cho tương lai của cả hai, về môn với hộ thì phải đăng với đối, về tôi phải có giá trị thì mới gặt hái được sự hoàn hảo, và gì nửa nhỉ, chả nhớ nổi. À thì, là luôn làm em phải lo lắng rồi, nhưng em không biết thôi, anh đã bắt đầu lo lắng và làm việc lại, bắt đầu âm thầm làm những việc cho bản thân và tương lai từ nhiều ngày trước khi em nhắc rồi cơ, chỉ là không kể em nghe, vì những gì dự đình sẽ hoàn thành trong ngày/ trong tuần nếu nói ra thì não mình sẽ bị lừa rằng mình đã làm rồi mà không nhớ để làm nửa đó, nên anh mới không kể em, chẳng kịp để giải thích nửa rồi, nhưng mong em sau này với người khác có thể nhẹ nhàng hơn và hiểu về việc này hơn, và lí do em nói là gì chứ, chả phải để anh nhận ra được việc anh nên lo lắng sao, và sau khi anh nói anh đã lo rồi, nói em đừng lo, em vẫn với thái độ giận dữ tiếp tục để rồi đến một lúc đủ để cho em nói những gì em muốn, làm những gì em thích như vậy chứ... Anh từng nói em nên thiền, vì thiền đơn giản làm con người ta bình tĩnh hơn, giảm được căng thẳng, điều khiển được cảm xúc hơn, vì trong lúc cãi nhau, em chưa bao giờ điều khiển được cả, đến lúc em muốn nói, anh còn chẳng thể nói được hết câu giải thích trước khi calm em cơ, và well điều đó lập đi lập lại mãi như vậy mà chả bao giờ thay đổi nên có mang cho anh một chút nut thật, xin lỗi vì vài lần anh cũng không kiểm soát được cảm xúc của mình nha. Và rồi sao chứ, em luôn không xem trọng lời xin lỗi của anh, có chăng là anh nói nhiều quá chăng, em xin lỗi anh vì đã làm những hành động thái hoá như block và unfriend, và sau khi xin lỗi em đã làm gì chứ, em còn chả buồn add friend lại, em còn chả buồn hỏi về cảm xúc của anh và những gì em có thể làm để giúp anh, hay chí ít giúp cả hai lúc đó. Những gì em làm, đó là thích nghi với những việc em tự làm với anh như thể anh đã làm điều gì đó tồi tệ lắm vậy, em xoá mọi thứ liên quan đến anh, như description trên insta, như highlighted stories, và cả bài viết trên facebook nếu anh không nhầm. Đó là sự xin lỗi của em đó sao, đó là ý nghĩa của việc xin lỗi đối với em đấy à, chả bảo sao những lần anh xin lỗi em cũng nghĩ chỉ là một câu nhún nhường không ý nghĩa. Tình yêu mà anh đem lại cho em, là một thứ thuần tuý hơn những lời nói đầu cuối của câu chuyện mà em đi kể với mọi người, là để làm gì chứ, là tình cảm anh trao em qua từng hành động, lời nói, cử chỉ, là mọi thứ đẹp nhất anh gói ghém, đổi với em chỉ là việc đương nhiên và vài thứ vặt vảnh thôi à, tại sao phải hỏi người khác phải làm gì khi người nhận nó là em chứ, thật lố bịch, đáng ra anh nên trao cho người em hỏi, để khi em cần, họ có thể cho em lời khuyên đúng đắn. Và cũng một thời gian dài rồi, kể từ khi anh thấy em vui vẻ như vậy, hanging out với mấy bạn khác, lúc này hả? Rồi vui vẻ sightseeing, con gái đẹp nhất khi không thuộc về ai nhưng sao t vẫn xấu ư, khi ế mọi người thật yêu thương mình ư, nó chả giống với anh tưởng tượng, nó chả giống với X mà anh từng biết và yêu thương, em thích nghi nhanh đến mức vượt ngoài sự mong đợi của anh rất nhiều, thật sự, Và có lẽ cũng đúng thôi, dù gì quen anh cũng là a pain in the ass của em, một cái nhọt đau nhứt ở mông khi em ngồi xuống thôi mà. Bây giờ thì anh thật sự tin đây là sự lựa chọn đúng, à không, trên cả đúng, một sự lựa chọn tuyệt vời, ít nhất là cho em.
Cảm ơn em, và xin lỗi vì mọi sự phiền toái mà cái nhọt này đem lại cho em. At a certain point in our lives, we lose control of what’s happening to us, and our lives become controlled by fate. That’s the world’s greatest lie.
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Ngày hôm đó, Ada phải chịu hàng loạt bất hạnh. Cô thảo luận với Bora tại nhà hàng do thái độ bất lịch sự của anh ta và mất việc. Sau đó, cô thấy rằng mối tình đầu của mình Ruzgar đang hôn một người phụ nữ khác bên ngoài nơi làm việc của anh ta. Khi phát hiện ra sự phản bội của Ruzgar, Ada bị tai nạn xe hơi và phải nhập viện.Kết quả là Ada và Ruzgar chia tay. Vì Ada tin rằng cô ấy sẽ không hạnh phúc nếu mất đi mối tình đầu của mình, nên cô ấy quyết định không từ bỏ dễ dàng như vậy. Cô quyết định bắt đầu làm việc tại công ty nơi Ruzgar làm việc. Cô ấy muốn đòi lại Ruzgar trên con đường hạnh phúc.Ada cuối cùng bắt đầu làm trợ lý của Bora. Cô ấy không tiết lộ rằng cô ấy vẫn kết hôn với Ruzgar. Cô ấy thậm chí còn nói rằng cô ấy đã có bằng đại học mặc dù cô ấy đã bỏ học. Trong đơn đăng ký, cô viết rằng cô có bằng đại học về văn học Thổ Nhĩ Kỳ tại Đại học Istanbul.Ada bắt đầu một cuộc hành trình đầy thử thách và lãng mạn và bị mắc kẹt vào tình yêu và niềm tin của mình. Trong khi làm trợ lý cho Bora, cô ấy cố gắng làm hết sức mình để giành lại Ruzgar mối tình đầu của mình.Câu chuyện của loạt phim truyền hình Twist of Fate (Baht Oyunu) kể về Ada, người bị mắc kẹt vào tình yêu và đức tin của mình. Ada sẽ làm việc thành công với tư cách là trợ lý của Bora chứ? Liệu Ada và Bora có hòa thuận với nhau không? Liệu Ada có giành được trái tim của Ruzgar? Liệu Tugce có giành được trái tim của Bora không?
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HARRY POTTER - BỘ PHIM GẮN LIỀN VỚI TUỔI THƠ CỦA NHIỀU NGƯỜI. 10 CÂU NÓI NỔI TIẾNG VÀ ĐẦY Ý NGHĨA
Nếu là một người lớn lên cùng bộ ba phù thủy “tam giác vàng” Harry – Ron – Hermione hoặc đơn giản hơn là đam mê những chuyến phiêu lưu trong thế giới phép thuật nhiệm màu, chắc chắn bạn không nên bỏ qua bài viết tổng hợp những câu nói nổi tiếng và đầy ý nghĩa của các nhân vật trong loạt phim – truyện vô cùng ăn khách này đâu nhé!
1. “Differences of habit and language are nothing at all if our aims are identical and our hearts are open.” – Albus Dumbledore
(Sự khác biệt giữa thói quen và ngôn ngữ chẳng là gì cả khi chúng ta có cùng mục tiêu và trái tim mở rộng.)
2. “You’re just as sane as I am.” – Luna Lovegood
(Bạn cũng tỉnh táo như tôi thôi.)
3. “It is the quality of one’s convictions that determines success, not the number of followers.” – Remus Lupin
(Sự vững chãi nơi niềm tin của một người sẽ quyết định thành công, chứ không phải là số lượng người tin theo họ.)
4. “We can’t choose our fate, but we can choose others. Be careful in knowing that.” — Albus Dumbledore
(Chúng ta không thể lựa chọn số phận của mình, nhưng chúng ta có thể chọn những điều khác. Hãy thận trọng khi lựa chọn.)
5. “It is the unknown we fear when we look upon death and darkness, nothing more.” — Albus Dumbledore
(Giữa cái chết và bóng tối, thì chúng ta sợ những cái chúng ta không biết.)
6. “After all, to the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure.” — Albus Dumbledore
(Suy cho cùng thì đối với một đầu óc vĩ đại, cái chết chỉ đơn giản là một chuyến phiêu lưu khác mà thôi.)
7. “The ones that love us never really leave us.” — Sirius Black
(Những người mà ta yêu thương thật sự chưa bao giờ hoàn toàn rời bỏ ta.)
8. “We’ve all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That’s who we really are.”― Sirius Black
(Tất cả chúng ta đều có phần thiện và ác trong bản thân mình. Điều quan trọng là ta lựa chọn phần nào để hành động. Đó mới chính là con người chúng ta.)
9. “We are only as strong as we are united, as weak as we are divided.” — Albus Dumbledore
(Ta chỉ mạnh khi nào ta đoàn kết, chia rẽ thì ta sẽ yếu đi.)
10. “Curiosity is not a sin…. But we should exercise caution with our curiosity.” — Albus Dumbledore
(Tò mò không phải là tội lỗi, nhưng chúng ta nên thận trọng với sự tò mò của mình.)
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