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After moving to Gotham and having to deal with a stressful job, Danny has started taking walks around the city as a way to destress.

Since he knows that he could get mugged, he just becomes intangible and invisible while listening to some loud music on his phone.

Unfortunately for him, his control on his Invisibility keeps slipping when he gets lost in his music, and the people of Gotham keep seeing a semi-translucent ghost man walking around at night aimlessly.

Some thugs think it’s just a meta with invisibility and try to mug him, but pass right through and he disappears completely. This convinces them that he is a ghost, since having both invisibility, and intangibility would be too big a coincidence. Not to mention he never reacts to them whatsoever.

The Bat’s get word that a Ghost has been stalking the streets of Gotham, and he looks scarily like Bruce Wayne from the little they have been able to see from him. Now Batman thinks his dad may have come back as a ghost.

Danny is oblivious to all of this. He just likes his nightly strolls.

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Billy Batson has access to the memories of previous champions, and some of them are woman. I think that sometimes he forgets he’s a man and just drops comments like these:

At the watchtower:

Dinah who is currently on her period: God my cramps hurt.

Billy who was a mother in a previous life: When you Ollie decide to have a kid it’ll feel like nothing, I promise.

Dinah who’s confused: what?

Billy:…You know, compared to the pain of childbirth, cramps are nothing. I speak from experience.

Dinah even more confused: You speak from experience?

Billy: Yeah, you should have seen my little Simon, he was so cute…Too bad he’s dead now.

Dinah: Why did you say that so casually?

Billy: It was thousands of years ago, plus he died of old age so I’m at peace with his death.

Dinah:…I’m gonna go now.

Billy: Bye bye :)

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The notes are broken. This is what tumblr is all about apparently.

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Seeing as I have to be fully feral for a Fandom before I write for it, please! I had someone do this to one of my series a little while ago and first thought was "ha! We're in the same sinking boat of normalcy happy to have dragged you aboard, now sit as I info dump my dumbest and most inconsequential headcanons at you while the water laps at out feet and slowly drowns us."

Nothing beats the feeling when you start getting comments on every fic in a fandom or ship from one person, and it’s clear that they’re going on a fic-binge. 

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this thread on twitter is fucking killing me

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I like to think in your bingge roommates au there was at least one (1) girlfriend (maybe LMY or at least someone with similar... interests) who was just there for the yaoi. She got so much material for her new, popular, and totally original work about 2 roommates who are in love but don't know it! She's the favorite ex girlfriend because she kept inviting sy on their dates (she was broken up with because bingge got jealous about how much time she was spending with sy) (she was trying to get them together)

Oh absolutely. The first time Liu mingyan comes over, shen yuan starts gushing over how pretty and well mannered she is right after she leaves. Binghe is like .. hmm I don't like that.

The three of them watching a movie:

Shen yuan: Liu mingyan, are you sure you don't want to sit with binghe?

Her: I'm fine on this chair.

Shen yuan cuddling up to binghe on the couch: alright then

Binghe pulling shen yuan closer by the waist: finally a girlfriend that's not annoying about Yuan ge and I being friends

Mingyan writing on her phone: the two men pressed against each other, warmed by their burning desire...

We know mingyan never had any explicit scenes in pidw so it's funny to imagine binghe going "mingyan is so nice and easy to date, not only is she understanding about my friendship with yuan ge, she also has never tried to kiss or hold my hand"

Yingying: why are you pretending to date a-luo? Is he your beard?

Liu mingyan: worse. He's my yaoi muse

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The reason I love Shen Yuan is because if you put him with a guy that's Immune To All Illnesses and say you're shooting a poisoned dart at them, he'll jump in front of Binghe and take the poison and go fuck. Fuck why did I do that he's IMMUNE 😑 next time I'll let him get hit instead of risking my health because that's the sensible thing to do. Then he jumps in front of the poison like 13 more times

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do you all see my vision here

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The only way to appese the raccoon is by practicing proper, healthy self-care.

.

.

.

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...he can be bribed tho

Billy’s familiar should be Tawny. Captain Marvels familiar should be a raccoon.

I said what I said.

Okay so hear me out. I really like the idea of familiars being animal companions to help channel your magic, and because Captain Marvel and Billy Batson have two vastly different bodies and vastly different magical prowesses, they need vastly different familiars.

For Billy to have Tawny, he gets a protector, someone to help him ease into his champion duties when in small form and guide him for all sorts of matters. And the fluffiest companion known to man cause he deserves it. It simply makes sense.

Marvel should have a raccoon. Just a freaky little shit whose sole purpose is to mess with him. Cap is already an encyclopaedia of magic and is already an established know-how for his champion duties. But sometimes Billy’s workaholic tendencies and Cap’s constant drive to do better / never ending to-do list makes him forget his needs a lot. Thus comes in the Racoon.

It doesn’t have a name, it’s just, the racoon. It’s a little trash goblin who will fight multiple Gods for loose fries in the McDonald’s ball pit. It probably already has (looking at you Hermes/Mercury).

Picture this

*JL, having a meeting*

Billy: *getting himself a cup of coffee to mentally prepare himself to do an extra patrol once the meeting is over*

Racoon: *spawns out of nowhere*

Captain Marvel: *will fight a bitch for his goddam energy booster*

Racoon: *feints attacking him and destroys the coffee pot instead*

Captain Marvel: DAMMIT RICHARD

JL: *confused, concerned, not payed enough for this*

BONUS:

*Later*

Batman, suspicious: So why is he called Richard?

Marvel: Cause he’s a Dick

Nightwing: *crying in the corner*

BONUS 2:

Billy, meeting Damian: and this is Tawny! He’s my familiar 💗🐯💗🐯💗🐯💗🐯💗

Damian: hmph, it seems you have a more respectable familiar than your father

Billy: what 😃

*Meanwhile with Cap*

Marvel: this is my trash goblin, it’s small and will bite. The pronouns are bite/me, and has claimed multiple burning bins as their home

John Constantine, staring straight into the Racoons beady ass eyes: … I really shouldn’t be relating that much

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Emperor penguins and their baby is so Bruce and dick vibes

Cant pick out a specific photo bc they're all them.

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You know what, fuck you. *spreadsheet-izes your danmei*

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Whatever the result is, I will attempt to recreate it as a drawing!

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IM LOSING MY MIND?? WHERE DID THE BREAD COME FROM. WHY IS IT SIDEWAYS. WHAT IS HAPPENING

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Fucking leave at that point, or give up use of my non dominant hand to prove that "yeah no, my life is getting truly fucked over by a super intense allergy. Also, have some super good genes and intense baby face." to explain the should be 55 but looks 20

imagine being a vampire w a nice dark apartment and a cushy remote job plus a little nighttime doordashing to make ends meet and then your tags expire and u cant go to get them renewed bcs the dmv isn't open after dark rn so u figure you'll wait until winter to get it done but then the apartment complex has ur car towed bcs of the expired tags and u cant go get it bcs the lot isnt open after dark so they keep charging you until u simply cant afford to get it back anyway. so now you cant doordash anymore and on top of that youre having to pay for an uber every time you go out to hunt and it adds up fast and your job isnt really covering it so you look for a second job but they all want you to come interview in person during the daytime. and eventually u miss too many rent payments and late fees and your apartment management evicts you and u cant even show up to court to fight it bcs it is obviously also during the day. and the cops come and open your door and the sunlight streams in and you just burn up to a crisp right before their eyes.

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Danny: Come, come, young one, the leaf broth will save you.

Tim, holding a heathen drink 2 degrees from litteral death tge moment you take a single sip: wot

Danny: Trust, you will be awakened. You will have more energy to fully feral with.

Tim: just a taste then.

~~15 mins and 5 cups later~~

Tim: I will commit war crimes for you.

Danny: Never go back to the heathenistic borderline masochistic horror you were drinking before. It's not worth it. Also take a nap every once in a while in addition to normal sleep.

Tim after leaving: we shall have a winter wedding.

Okay, so maybe it's just me? Projecting my new Tea Phase?

Cause for med reasons, no more energy drinks, only Teeeeeeaaaaa~☆

But honestly? Now that I am an adult and ACTUALLY KNOW HOW TO MAKE IT? Really digging it! Am enjoying the Teas. Mmmmmmm~ leaf broth. I like the fruity ones.

So! IMAGINE~☆ If you will:

Danny. 14 and his parents are LOUD AS FUCK (CRASH BANG SMASH BANG WHIIII-) dispite it being, once again, a school night. This has been going one For Years. That STUPID fucking machine. All God damned hours. Crashes and bangs and powertools. Explosions.

When will it ever end!

He's... he's honestly used it.

Unknowingly? This is is a skill that will come in handy later. Living and functioning while sleep deprived. Healthy? Fuck no. But it's USEFUL. He IS the ten year old downing Monster drinks in the parking lot before school.

It makes him a jittery weirdo. Twitchy. Too much caffeine, not enough sleep, his parents either blew up or TOOK APART the washing machine AGAIN. He... he never stood a chance. It's a miracle the indoor plumbing hasn't been compromised yet... AGAIN.

His blood is more sugar, caffeine, and guarana or whatever those other things in the can are, then actual human blood. He doesn't CARE. He just needs too get decent grades, graduate, and become an astronaut. It's... it's FINE. This is normal. They're FINE.

(If they weren't... someone would have noticed, right? Would have DONE something. Cared. So it HAS to be fine. His family's just weird. It's FINE.)

But THEN...

The Accident.

And his biology CHANGES. Green goo, wrapped vicious and loving, around his very DNA. Like Kintsugi of the body and soul. In green, Green, GREEN. It... it's a lot. Everything changing all at once. Maybe that's why it takes him so long to notice.

Why he thinks "oh, I'm just tired cause I'm running more then usual. Fighting and flying. Doing ghost stuff."

When... when honestly? Some part of him always kinda KNEW. From the very moment he stumbled out of the portal. The aftershocks. The pain. Sam and Tucker crying, scrambling to help him up the stairs. Sam tearing her bag apart looking for her cramps medicine. Because... because pain medication is pain medication.

"It's gonna be okay, Danny. Please. Please god, just take it! I promise it's gonna be okay!"

How do you look your panicked, crying, strongest-person-you-know best friend in the eyes and tell her... you can FEEL it dissolving in your throat. Like the pills were dumped in a human shaped pot of acid. That... that the pain isn't changing... and you... you don't think it's going too.

When you're scared. Might be dying. And you can already tell they think it's their fault. W... when you're all just KIDS. And all you can think is... you can let them know how bad... how bad it hurts...

They'd never be able to live with that knowledge.

Yeah. Yeah, Sam. Thanks. T... The pills helped a lot. He feels better. You really saved the day. He lo... loves you guys so much.

...

.....

He thinks about that moment A LOT. About how much he realized and knew, before the denial kicked in. Before he got so... Tired. Fresh of all that energy. And? You'd think he realize. The mood swings. The irritability. The headaches that disappear the SECOND he goes ghost. That he's in caffeine withdrawal. But? Nope.

He kinda blames the constant ghost attacks for distracting him.

But see... Sam? Doesn't drink tea. Goes against her diet. Tucker was where he GOT his illicit borderline illegal energy drinks. And his sister? Big on flavored sparkling waters. Which are gross to him.

His PARENTS drink a thick tar they insist is coffee. It might be liquid fudge. Zone knows its nearly the same consistency. It's horrifying. No thanks, he wants to LIVE.

It's? Ironically? Mr. Lancer and his constant detentions, that help Danny realize somethings up. Because Mr. Lancer shares. If he makes a cup for himself, he'll make one for you. It's how he was raised. And, yeah, the after school detentions? Those were herbal blends. No caffeine.

But...

But they tasted nice. Were warm. The classroom was quiet and as frustrating as it was? The tea itself? Was always... the one exception to how shit the situation was. So Danny finally broke down and asked about it. Learned Mr. Lancer knew a? Surprisingly LOT about tea. Huh.

Then one day he gets SATURDAY detention. Oh joy!

Bright and early. One of the few times he could be trying, desperately, to be sleeping through his parents cacophony. Catching up on his desperately needed Zzz's. Here he is... getting a handed a new cup of different tea?

Breakfast blend? And a bagel..

N...none hostile breakfast? A quiet space to catch up on his homework? No Dash? Just... just a quiet classroom, some tea, and the sounds on a peaceful morning outside?

......oh.

It's the best time he's had in school in... God, in YEARS. He gets so MUCH done. For once can concentrate. And? Actually, now that he thinks about it? Feels... awake? Or at the very least, not as sleepy. And being a Fenton, whom to the LAST are a genius if eccentric family, it's pretty damn easy to put two and two together.

Tea.

He felt more awake after having Lancer's breakfast blend tea.

He obviously asks about it. Then, after detention is done. Calm packs up. Goes home. Drops his back in his room. Goes ghost. And SHOOTS for the Far Frozen with his phone and an energy drink. Because clearly he's missing something and it's time to ask.

The good doctors of the Frozen are... gently horrified. Clawed hands steeples infront of their mouths as they try to tactfully figure out how to word "Great One, WHAT THE FUCK!?!? Why would you DO THIS TO YOURSELF!?" Because that... is not professional. Breathe. In, out, in, out. We can do this.

They get the most patient and restrained of their elders to... CALMLY, very VERY Calmly, ask some medical questions. Listen. Without judgements! Because they are medical professionals. Who do NOT want to scream, forever, into the void. Certainly not. So Calm! (They are going to BURN THAT CAN IN-)

Which! Huh. Yeah, that explains the constant exhaustion. He was poisoning himself. Kinda. Not so much the GHOST but the human half. Putting to much strain and too much trace chemicals, minerals, and buckets of sugar. General "mmmm :/ Don't Like THAT ™" energy from the Goo causing it too try and constantly burning it all out of existence. Endlessly.

The more he put in, the more there was to burn. The more there was to burn, the more tired he became. The more tired he became... well, the more he put in. It was a slowly lethal starvation cycle. Big Yikes.

The TEA on the other hand? Those are leaves. The good recognizes leaves and water. Other various plants, dried or otherwise. It ignores them as "fine" until they reach a "problematic" threshold, apparently? So... *blank look at the doctor*

*sighs in medical professional*

Tea? Good. Satan Can of Halfa Poison? Bad. Please drink tea.

👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

And it's like MAGIC. He's suddenly BACK, baby! Ha ha ha! Skulker you fuckin THOUGHT?! Oh it's 2am? Well SUPRISE bitch! He's bright eyed and bushy tailed! His grades are up AND he's beating you like a drum! He has ice breakers for old people discussions now!! The local Tea Shops have NEVER been so well protected.

He actually manages to graduate with not just decent grades? But GOOD ones.

And the second. The INSTANT. He is legally his own man? Has his important paperwork squirrelled away and the go bags safely WELL outside of Amity. It's time. He meets OUTSIDE the house, because he's not an idiot. He's been practicing his Clones and has them ready to grab his parents so he can get out of there alive. Jazz is on video call from Star city.

His parents... suspected. Not at first, but as goofy as they are? They aren't ACTUALLY idiots. They've been watching, going over old research. Trying, failing, to get in touch with the League to have THEIR team test their research. Peer review is critical after all. They... they had been so certain. Are still somewhat certain.

But their research doesn't exactly ACCOUNT for this "halfa" phenomenon. So, there is a very real chance they are missing something. The one thing the DO know? Danny is their son. Stuck in some eternal mortally wounded state or not, he is a hero. And they weren't there for him.

They can't change their beliefs on a dime. But they've clearly missed a great deal. And refuse to fall to academic bias. The very thing that got them LAUGHED AT for decades. Mocked and belittled. This is their life's work. By God they WILL find out the truth.

It's? Better then he could have hoped. Not perfect. But better.

He helps set up safeties and a security check point at the portal. Both sides. He's kinda a big deal these days, mom, dad. Ghost scientists eager to work with them. A whole TEAM under their command. It certain endears ghosts to them a whole lot more. Then?

Copy of the blue prints, go bag turned into normal bags, Danny's off to college.

Bounces from major to major. Nothing really capturing his interest. As he aged, he's need less sleep. Gotten stronger. Grown into his father's height and grandfathers build. Tucker keeps calling him a dorito. Danny retaliates with Ancient Egyptian Cyber/Pharoah Twink allegations. According to SAM they are both dumbasses.

She's not WRONG... but hey D:<

Eventually? A really niche botany seminar run by Pamela Isely catches the attention of Tucker, who forwards it to him n Sam. Nice ™. It's being held in her Murder Park! Cool! Obviously they have to go. So off to Gotham they go. And? When they get there? Sam is APPALLED.

She may HATE landlords as much as the next activist.... but LOOK at all these run down, foreclosed, rotting buildings! Beautiful gothic infrastructure! Those could be businesses or homes! Danny, busy with signing them up, makes the mistake of tuning her out as she rants in fury. She does this some times. Needs to vent. Uh huh, you're very right. You should contact somebody. I agree. Mmmhmmm.

Hey, Sam, Ms. Isely needs your-....

Sam?

Oh FUCK ™.

By the time the Seminar come around? Sam has violently kicked in the door of more then a feel reality offices. Owns QUITE a few buildings. Danny is sweating. She... she's doing the THING again. The "gimme your Ghost Crew, I KNOW you have a highly specific Ghost Crew, don't you DARE lie to me or I take your knee caps, Danny" stare.

>.> Sam you can't keep doin- *stare intensifies* Yes Ma'am. *Pulls out Fenton phone* and so? Here come the renovation crew. The ONLY honest building Crew in all of Gotham. They cut no corners. Can't be threatened. Gangs, villians, and even local government office try to arrange... accidents on the build sites.

Nothing. Nada. In fact, it turns out more dangerous for THEM then this crew of outsiders!

Wtf!

Then? After these two College age weirdos finish Poison Fuckin Ivys HIGHLY SUSPECT biology seminar? Manson fucks off to who knows where! Leaving what HAS to be "the muscle" behind. Cause I mean? Look, at the guy! He's huge! And what does he do?

Goes building to building. Rents them out to low income families. Honest, hard working shop keepers. And? Eventually decides to settle smack dab in the middle of Gotham, in the shadow of Wayne fuckin tower, spitting distance from the Space museum..... and open? A tea shop? The FUCK?

"The Zone".

In a weird shade of green. With little ghosts, wearing crowns, because and I quote "it's funny"? Certainly crazy enough for Gotham. But like, it's loud as FUCK here. Crowded. There are gas attacks and shit. It'll never las-....

It stays untouched for MONTHS.

Sometimes being the ONLY building near it to be untouched. Gas NEVER getting in. The damn place a BUNKER. And? Despite looking like it's two floors? It's three. You enter and your actually on the second floor. No one's even sure where the fuck the guy LIVES, since he never seems to leave.

Not only THAT. But it... it's like one of those old school apothecaries. Big ol bank of drawers. Guy'll mix up your blend for you right as you watch. Tea nuts are actually risking COMING to Gotham to try his stuff. Writing articles. Apparently he has some pretty rare shit in those drawers.

Some UNKNOWN shit, according to one guy on ViewTube.

There's this whole debate on if it's Ultra Super Rare or that means it's just super cheap knock off crap. Some of them he won't make for people, even if they ask. There's a rumor it's for Meta's with specific diets. Or alien blends. But no one can verify that. Cause like?

Anyone who tries to cause trouble?

Can't fucking FIND the place. And if you're already inside? You just... drop. Stone cold unconscious. It's definitely magic but no one knows if it's HIS or Manson's? You know? He won't talk. Gets annoyed when harrased.

Which off course!

Leaves Only ONE gentleman for the job. An elite special forces trained expert. Polite, dignified, enjoyer of fine Teas. Alfred "Why do you chucklefucks keep forgetting I was in the Queens Service and a Registered Badass" Pennyworth.

After all! He DOES have the days shopping to do.

@babbling-babull @the-witchhunter @hdgnj @legitimatesatanspawn @lolottes

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DP x DC Phantom Punk: We are the Outlaws

Back on my punk Danny AU

So punk is pretty anti-authoritarian, loud, fast, and contains a lot of anger, anger at how the world is. It can also be very compassionate to the downtrodden an those the system fails

You know who else has a lot of anger and compassion?

Jason Todd

Jason Todd, the second Robin, the Red Hood. The man was born to be punk.

Danny just works as a punk. His villains range from the government to a Billionaire to a ghost cop. It makes more sense than not for his experiences to have turned him in that direction, and let's face it one Sam Mason would have helped, even if punk and goth are different

So we have one dead punk boy living in a shitty apartment in Gotham, and we have another dead punk boy moving into a shitty apartment in Gotham

They're neighbors(I'd say roommates for the meme but Jay needs the added privacy)

So now we have two punks with messed up sleep schedules living next door to each other. They clearly vibe, they hang out, go to each other's apartments and Jason practically force feeds Danny a healthy meal that has enough preservatives in it to give Ra's a run for his money

Then Jason got careless

Jason, after accidentally mentioning the outlaws multiple times during a phone call, now has to deal with the fact that Danny thinks it's the band he's in. It's fine, all he has to do is play it cool, roll with it and it'll be no big deal

being unable to shut his mouth, he actually digs himself deeper. Now, Danny doesn't just want to see them play, he wants to join, and Jason has made the mistake of saying he needs to ask the band first, only to call Roy who is a little shit and goes "Yeah he can join our band."

Cut to Jason, Starfire, and a sheepish Roy scrambling to actually be a punk band as they get sucked further and further into committing to the bit

or

Fake Band au, like a fake dating au but with more people and instruments and probably ends in polyamory

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the more i try to explain gender to cis people the more i understand plato's allegory of a cave