#til her parents got back. which they never did. but he saw it as an older brother protecting the babies til the parents come home

[vaugarde]

atlas and quinn's relationship is hard to really put on a family tree but yknow how mlp cant decide if twilight is spike's mom or big sister sometimes and depending on the specific conflict she can be one or the other? just imagine that

[lilvalleys]

REMEMBER EVERYTHING | DR3

in which teenage sweethearts are reunited in texas but at what cost ?

warnings - angst , yearning , crying , mentions of heidi , unhappy/open ending ?this is NOT edited or proof read… sorry!

a/n - OOPS IM BACK :)))

Rotgut whiskey's gonna ease my mind

Beach towel rests on the dryin' line

Do I remind you of your daddy in his '88 Ford?

Labrador hangin' out the passenger door

It’s like you could still see it all. You were still kids. Just kids. You could still see those stars and feel him behind you. Could still see him hanging out of that car like it was made for him. It was made for him. He looked unreal , like an old reel of film recently developed. Or like that dog that followed you around that summer. Maybe being a teenager was supposed to be hard. Maybe you were supposed to feel like you’d had your one great love this was it , or maybe that was just the teenager in you. Daniel left that summer. The North American circuits could only get him so far , and he wanted to be great. You wanted him to be great. He was going to go to Europe , it was decided. You still had that summer though , and it was the best one of your life.

The sand from your hair is blowin' in my eyes

Blame it on the beach, grown men don't cry

Do you remember that beat down basement couch?

I'd sing you my love songs and you'd tell me about

How your mama ran off and pawned her ring

I remember, I remember everything

Seventeen. Daniel thought he was a grown man. You thought he was too , but it’s just how you perceived him. Always protecting you , always with you, grown, mature. He felt guilty and he knew that he shouldn’t have but still he felt bad. Both of you were aware it was your last night together for a while , he snuck you out of your house that night and you wandered down to the beach. You remember that it was the beach with rocks instead of sand. Danny was such a gentleman that he laid down on the towel with all the rocks in his back so you could lay on his chest. He couldn’t let you , knowing what coming. It was chilly and he wrapped his arms around you. “This is it you know…” You knew but you didn’t want to. 17 year olds on different continents with different lives was never going to work. It was nice to dream though, and it was so easy and effortless. You whispered back through that void “I know…” He sniffled. Wetness dropped down his face to your shoulder. “Danny? Are you crying?” He had a bad habit of hiding it , like he was scared of his emotions. You remember that he blamed it on the beach , said something about the sand from your hair blowing in his eyes , but you knew really it was because he thought grown men didn’t cry. After you laid on the beach for a while he snuck you back to the house, your parents left the door unlocked. They knew you needed this. He held you on the couch in your basement and sang you love songs until you fell asleep. When you woke up he was gone , and that was the last you heard of him for so long.

A cold shoulder at closing time

You were begging me to stay 'til the sun rose

Strange words come on out

Of a grown man's mouth when his mind's broke

Pictures and passin' time

You only smile like that when you're drinking

I wish I didn't, but I do

Remember every moment on the nights with you

You knew he made it. It was hard not to follow him, he was an up and coming formula 1 star and you grew up in the sport. You did your best to avoid races , to avoid him. He had a girlfriend, some model or actress who suited him perfectly. Still it shocked you when you saw him on screen. He looked just like himself. Which is admittedly a weird thing to say , but he truly looked like Daniel . He got his braces off , and his hair was a little less wild but he was still your same old Danny. Which is why when you saw him in that bar , you recognized him immediately. He had that shit eating grin on his face . Danny only smiled like that when he was drinking. Or looking at you. He recognized you too. Recognized you well enough that somehow some way after teary hellos you ended up tangled up in his hotel sheets while his girlfriend called him wondering why their nightly goodnight had been postponed. “I love you” god, you couldn’t say it back. How could you say it back when you knew this was temporary. Daniel was only going to be in Texas for a few days , he had to go back to Europe for one of his girlfriends premiers. It doesn’t shock you how easy that ‘love you’ comes out of his mouth. Strange words come out of a grown man’s mouth when his mind’s broke. After the few days were up , memories had been relived , it was time for him to go. You kissed your goodbyes and waited for the next time you would see him. Daniel told you it was too dangerous for you to text or call but that he should be back in a few months. You went to that bar every night.

You're drinkin' everything to ease your mind

But when the hell are you gonna ease mine?

You're like concrete feet in the summer heat

It burns like hell when two souls meet

No, you'll never be the man that you always swore

But I'll remember you singin' in that '88 Ford

Things like this slowly eat at you. One month turned to two , turned to three , turned to four. You started to believe that it would be another 4 years until you saw him again. Oddly you were willing to wait. When you did see him again , it would be worth it. He was still that innocent loving man you knew. That’s how you saw him at least. Daniel did not feel the same. He felt horrible every time he went to book a flight , or call your parents house , he couldn’t do it. You two used to talk shit about guys like this… and now he was just like them. And you were just like the girls they would string along. He is not the man everyone thinks he is and it is absolutely killing him. But one thing about guys like this , no matter how bad they feel they will always come back for more.

[strxbrymochi]

melting an ice heart | lmk

08. id card

masterlist • previous • next

pairing: lee mark (nct) x fem!reader

genre & tropes: smau, mostly enemies to lovers but a little bit of fluff too don’t worry, sports au (hockey player x figure skater), grumpy x sunshine energy, chaotic friend energy

chapter warnings: swearing, a lil glimpse into what she dealt with as a child, but i don't think it's too deep, just mentions of abuse but indirectly

synopsis: he’s the life of every party, the team heartthrob and mvp while she’s the stone cold ice-princess who will stop at nothing to get things her way. but when an accident intertwines the two more than they had hoped, will his fire be enough to melt the ice facade she’s built up or will they continue to clash and end up in ruins?

updates: mwf 8:00pm gmt+8 // 11:00pm gmt+11

taglist: open!

words: ~1.2k

"fuck." you curse out loud as you hit your fist on the ice. you've been here for around 2 hours now, your training ended at 9pm and here you are again, at 2am, skating, in a supposedly closed rink.

you've been coming in after hours for about a couple years now, well since you started at suwon at least. your parents had said they paid off time for you to skate anytime you wanted, and so you did. at first it seemed as though they never wanted you to rest-- not that you were complaining, but over time you saw of it as your safe space. the rink was more a home to you than your actual house. it was your solace everytime something went wrong. it was where all your pent up anger and stress was released on to. your emotions displayed through the way your skates glide smoothly, but aggressively, in the ice. as you stand back up and skate around to shake it off and try your routine again, memories of your childhood flood your brain.

"again." your mother would shout at you from the bleachers.

back when you were younger and skated near home, your parents made it a point to watch you at every training. refusing to let you go home until they thought your run was spotless.

your mom is a skater too, so she understood what it was like. well, was a skater. she wouldn't really tell you the details other than the fact she says she pushes you to experience the things she never got to. as a good daughter, you followed through, no questions asked.

you stand up from the fall, and brush your hands off your leggings. it felt sticky, and something stung. you look down on your hands to see scratches and a bit of blood from your now 12th fall in the last hour and a half. you pull your jacket sleeve over to cover it up and silently wince in pain. you move back to position and make eye contact with your coach, standing next to your mom. she nods at you. "come on now, we haven't got all day have we?" your mom shouts, arms crossing.

you take a deep breath and try again, you gain speed and you leap. you spin once, twice, thrice, and extend your leg to land, and you do. only it was too late and you tip over to the edge and fall; hearing a small snap.

"for goodness sakes, i did not go through all that to raise a FAILURE." your mother shouts. "stop being dramatic and get up. again."

you look over to your knee which gave way in that landing. you stretch it to test how bad the pain was. wincing, you do your best to stand up.

"maybe we should stop for today..." your coach tells your mom cautiously.

"she'll stop when she gets it right." your mom snaps back. "do you hear me y/n? we aren't leaving here til you get that jump right."

and so with another deep breath, you try to forget the pain on your knee and try again. hoping, praying, that's the last time.

you get home after practice and your mother immediately sends you to your room with no dinner. your mom believes in meal times and anything after 9pm was a big no for the digestive system, makes you gain weight apparently. so here you are, sitting in your chair, trying to do your homework, on an empty stomach because you got home at 10:30pm. all because you couldn't get a jump right. you glance at your foot, red seeping through the bandages from the cuts from your skates. you sigh. this was going to be a long night.

the lights in the rink suddenly turn on. what the fuck? no one has ever come in the rink at this time of night except you. cleaners maybe? no, they would be asleep. no one knew of your parents arrangement and if anyone were to find out you'd be in serious trouble.

you hear footsteps. shit. you skate your way to the entrance and quickly put on your skate guards, grab your training bag and run out. you had no time to change your shoes. as you run out, you hide behind the building, breathing silently, making sure no one caught you. as you reach down your training bag you freeze. your id card. you close your eyes and curse silently. it must've fallen out as you were running. you couldn't go back in, not when you didn't know who was in there. you'd just have to hope they don't find it and you can get it tomorrow.

you quickly change your skates for shoes and run off into the night before anyone else catches you.

back in the rink, mark makes his way to the entrance. huh, why are there skate marks? he was certain they cleaned off the ice after the last practice. come to think about it, he did hear glides as he entered the rink. didn't sound like a hockey skate, maybe a figure skater? he'd probably ask his uncle tomorrow.

as mark laces up his boots and gets into the ice, he moves around. just in a circle, letting the wind hit his face and calm him down. he was on the ice for as long as he could remember. it was his mother who introduced it to him, and it was his distraction when she got sick. lucky for him his family owned a rink, so it seemed only right he'd pursue it. now that he moved to suwon, his uncle allowed him unlimited access, now he can skate whenever he needed to, if he wanted to clear his head or if he just needed a break. and that's what he was doing tonight. the move wasn't exactly easy, but he's been adjusting well. he has friends, he's well-liked, hockey's doing good, but it's different. well, maybe it's because his mom isn't here for any of it.

"mom? you there?" he calls out as he skates around. he probably sounds stupid but his mom always told him she would always be watching over him, every single time he touched the ice. "it's been a while, the move's been crazy, i haven't really been able to skate freely like this but thankfully samchun's been great about letting me do now, so hopefully i'll get to talk to you more. anyways, i had my first game the other day and we won." he says. "i got mvp, pretty neat. school's been good, classes aren't as hard and i have friends. i think you'd really like them." he continues to tell her how he's been going, letting the way the air hits him serve as a sign she's listening.

he finishes his run and skates over to the bleachers to change his shoes. as he walks to the exit he hears a crunch. looking down, he sees an id card. weird. he thinks, bending over to pick it up.

huh. he thinks, flipping it over. y/n l/n, he says to himself, the girl he bumped into at reverie. now he had some sort of leverage to find out more about her but wait, what was the ice princess doing in the rink this time of night? was it really you he almost caught? questions circled his mind. only one way to find out he thinks, holding your id card as he makes his way out.

💌; @leefullsun @defzcl @ncityzenz @keemburley @syzavxy @doejaejung @softieluvsyou @leep0ems @nae-vm @hizhu @haechanielove @chezziy @excalibur-gone-missing @bluedbliss @girlwholoveslpreppyattire @planetkiimchi @swimmingismywholelife @cloudmrk @clean-soap @prettyrenjunn @yyangj3lly @kittydollzz @seunghancore @aerivrs @thisisnotjacinta

[sergeant-angels-trashcan]

I'm literally about to sleep but Kate and the 141 being a sense8 cluster is this anything

THE WAY MY EYES WIDENED HOLY SHIT

(Gonna ignore age differences. Maybe they all technically died and "breathed their first breath together" upon resuscitation I love shit like that anyway)

They would be in a cluster for the LONGEST time and not realize it. The guys would BE in the task force together and NOT REALIZE IT. But also. I love the angst. And I kinda want Kate to visit with Simon as he's buried alive. Because how fucking horrifying????? And his fear/panic is so great that it yanks her consciousness to him. Maybe this is before they are born as a cluster? But the trauma is so great that Simon's brain is reaching and reaching and reaching for the connections that should be there!!! And Kate is the closest geographically.

nooo no this is really interesting. i think the trauma could trigger the birth of the cluster, OR, Kate and Simon are kind of like...preemies? They can sort of sense each other but their sensate biology isn't fully developed so it's a very incomplete form of visiting/sharing (it would be interesting if trauma is why their cluster is all different ages? like they were all supposed to be in DIFFERENT clusters. Simon and Kate would have had the same cluster "parent" and the rest of the 141 would have been in separate clusters but trauma+proximity made those connections form with each other? Near death experiences? I'm thinking about when Gaz falls out of the helicopter. The sensate part of his brain is like FUCK I NEED CONNECTION and Simon's sensate brain is all untethered and goes oh HELL yes, FINALLY, cluster here we come! (sensate scientists are fucking feral over this cluster and the IMPLICATIONS )

BUT ANYWAY

simon is just like "sometimes I hallucinate a woman, it's a trauma response"

Gaz: huh weird me too sometimes. First I was freaked out, you know? But then I got used to her

Soap, joking: she's not American, is she?

Gaz, Ghost, and Price turn as one to look at him.

Price: what

So THEN they all think they are having a shared hallucination. Is that something that can be spread? Ghost seems like patient zero but he never said anything about her til now???

Naturally Kate chooses this moment to bebop in. "So I'm a shared hallucination? I don't feel like a hallucination." "How would you know?" Soap points out. "You've got me there. Counterpoint: Why would you create a hallucination that is American?" The four men lean back. Which. Well. "I mean, me hallucinating four hot British guys? Believable. Four hot British guys hallucinating me? Not so much." "You think I'm hot?" Soap says. They ignore him. "You're saying we are the hallucinations," Ghost says flatly. "Or, get this," she says. "None of us are hallucinations." Gaz makes a disbelieving hum. "Okay fine. Easy test." She sticks out her hand, palm up, wiggling her fingers. "Someone give me a phone." After some hesitation, Price pulls his out and slaps it into her hand-her oddly solid hand. She taps the screen for a few seconds before handing it back. "Okay, call me." "What?" "I put my number in. Call me," she repeats then disappears. "Cap, "Gaz says when he finds his voice. "Did that hallucination just put a number in your phone?" "Oh, thank Christ," Soap interjects. "I'm not the only one who saw her." Price looks down at the phone in his hand before answering Gaz. "Appears so." "You gonna do it?" Soap bounces of the sofa. "'Spose it could be a detonator. You call it, something explodes." (Kate, appearing on the sofa next to Soap: oh, PLOT TWIST! I didn't do that, though. Don't know how to. Do you know how to do that? Soap: yes!!! Kate: omg can you teach me? Soap: YES :DDDD loml i will teach you how to make SO many things explode) Ghost kicks him. Gaz tugs the device out of Price's hand. "Video call," he says decisively. Price hits call. It rings. It rings It-- A man's face fills the screen. He's familiar. He is not, however, hallucination woman. "Clinty-boo, can you tell me what you see on my phone?" "What?" "Just tell me what you see.' "Three very confused dudes and someone in a mask, who could be confused and a dude, I just can't tell for sure." "Cool, thanks!" The familiar voice chirps before a familiar face fills the screen. "See?" she says, proud. "None of us are hallucinations. Yay!"

Ok for some reason I see Kate in Egypt doing something slightly sketchy to get info on Rama tut with Marc Spector and Layla El Faouly and she is like "can you see those creepy British guys?" (They cannot) Kate says something about how they are glaring at her and saying they're a 4 hour flight from her, she better not be doing anything illegal, yada yada, they keep following her around or vice versa??? And Marc, apropos of nothing, says, "Yeah, they're your cluster."

"Of what???"

"Fellow sensates. You're sensates."

WhAT

(idk i just liked the idea of Marc being like oh yeah nbd. and kate is like no no i think it's a VERY bd. also Marc knows Ghost.)

when kate visits them she koalas on to one of them. they're so used to it that when they meet in person Soap just carries her around because she's not supposed to walk!!!!

when they visit her Gaz is the one constantly touching her, always has an arm around her. always shows up when she starts to get irritated at her PI work

Her sleep schedule is super fucked because Ghost (NEVER asks her to) sleeps better if she is visiting him. since she has a more flexible schedule (aka is not in the military) she'll stay up late and take naps at random times during the day so Ghost can get some sleepy snuggles companionship to help him drift off

price will visit when she's strategizing to offer helpful advice. gives her scalp massages when the young avengers are on her last damn nerve.

ok i've been sitting on this for a while so i'm gonna stop here!! i love this idea

[luffyvace]

There’s gonna be a new op series called character remix!!

this is so exciting and cool!

here’s my thoughts and take on it 💌💗

so if you haven’t heard it’s basically where we’ll get to view all the strawhats pov before they met Luffy, instead of picking up on they’re life where Luffy met them since the anime is in his pov. They’ll be going in chronological order and the first 2 volumes will come out July 4th. Starting with Luffy I believe, in stead of flashbacks like marineford we’ll get the full thing! :) yippie! Also! There’s gonna be 580 pages per volume! That’ll totally be packed with info right?! 🎉

starting with who I’m most curious about:

Robin: 📖📚

she’s first because most backstories are straight to the point in flashbacks but for me it just feels like it happened really quickly. Personal opinion. Also! We got to see that she likes books but we mostly saw her pain. The only thing to have ever made her happy as a child was books, Saul and the researchers. Therefore we didn’t get a chance to learn much about little robin! Would she like dolls if she had to opportunity to get one? Or building blocks? If she wasn’t neglected would she have been a louder person naturally? You never know because how you grow up can mold you, so if you’re in a survival mode from such a young age you don’t get much time to focus on your personality! Which is why I like Robin’s “saying creepy things” gag, it lets me know she’d be a bit of a weirdo! But it can also stem from hardly having any light in her life- also fact that she’s straightforward about it shows some of her personality as well!

Zoro: ⚔️🗡️

this guy’s past is definitely gonna be good! We seriously didn’t get to see anything about him at all! We don’t know what he like’s personally, and yes training and such, but what about silly little adventures?! He lost Kuina which is a part of big part of darkness in his life, but we still don’t know Zoro on a deep level. Really it’s just gonna be interesting to see what the volume has to offer! :)

Franky: 🤖🦾

this!!! This guy! Nobody talks about how little we know of him! It’s like Zoro, we only know what he’s good at! We only know he likes to build! But we don’t know any habits or hobbies he could’ve tried to pick up that didn’t stick, we didn’t see him evolve and grow! Franky and Robin are in their 30s! We don’t even know what they were like in their 20s! Especially not franky!! I’m really pumped to see what he’ll be like from the flashback up til when he meets Luffy, a weirdo that’s for sure. It’d be fun to see the franky family funny moments too!

Brook: ☠️🏴‍☠️

Dude. No one talks about the fact that his flashback started when he was already an adult!! The only reason we know what he looks like as a child is because Oda drew it! Obviously he was playing music back then as well, but all the strawhats ambitions started when they were a kid! That’s not enough info! We don’t know his parents, hometown, anything! We don’t even know why he loves music! I mean we do, but not really we’re it stems from directly, was his parents out of the picture? Were they there but didn’t care so music was all he had? Were they struggling financially? Did he raise himself? What?!

Nami: 🍊🧡

again! All we know is her dream, not her personally! The most we know is why she loves money! And that was shown in the flashback! We also know she wasn’t financially stable, but what about the day to day life? Did the tangerine sales pick up in the summer? Why weren’t they selling good? Couldn’t they have gone to all the neighboring towns to sell them? How did Bellmere break the news that they weren’t a biological family when Nami was of age? Did she always figure and it was an unspoken thing? Or did Nami cry when she found out? We don’t know!

Sanji: 🧑‍🍳🥘

ngl he would be higher on the list if I watch whole cake but I’m only on Zou 😁 anyway, the article I read to find out the series was coming out mentioned the fact that we don’t know exactly when and how Zeff met, which is a good point!! I’m interested in how that went down too! It pretty much just slipped over that during the flashback, did Sanji escape? Did Zeff take him in welcoming or did Sanji have to fight to get in? Did Zeff help break in out? Now keep in mind I haven’t watch Whole cake so if these questions have been answered I don’t know yet. Anyway that’s my take on it, but one more thing. I feel we’ll get a deeper sense of why Sanji loves to cook. And if there’s anything else he likes besides that!

Chopper: 🦌

I wanna see his day to day life! And also funny moments bc IK they’re there. Also to see him study more! Honestly just more background for this little cutie is all I want. Maybe he should be lower on this list….idk? I really wanna see his tho..

Usopp: 🤥

he’s also lower bc i feel they did a good job showing us enough of Usopp’s background. They got the point across real well, but I would like to see more Usopp pirate crew adventures tho!

Luffy: 🧑‍🌾

Lol the emoji is supposed to be a strawhat. Anyway I LOVE Luffy which makes it odd that he’s so low on this list, but he gets lots of screen time, I feel he also got the longest and most detailed backstory. They did a real good job covering most things, I’d honestly just want to see more adventures and they years between 14-17 bc they timeskiped it lol. Itd be fun to see teen Luffy and Ace interact more, since they’re not little kids anymore. Like arguments about who’s gonna be taller, hobbies they might’ve picked up, talking about what they’re gonna name they pirate crews, sneaking into Goa kingdom together and going through another man’s trash to find they’re own treasure. So I guess I might wanna see his more than I thought! Anywho!

🌷🏴‍☠️

-Brook

[nikki-is-a-nerd]

Of Portals, Travels and Blossoming Romance

Synopsis:

As Rey's newest apprentice, you managed to stumble across the Jedi temple in Ahch-to when she leaves you to meditate and to guide the other younglings.

Apparently touching murals in a temple is not the brightest idea, seeing how you're now faced with an unknown.

Note: this is honestly just the third rewrite of this one XD after this I'm going on star wars break to write more jjk, but I'll write Ezra stuffs, if ya'll have requests. Gimme a week or two to write some of my jjk ideas and then it's back to Ezra <3

___________________________________

You were stuck in a temple in Ahch-to, not because your master left you there, but because you decided that you wanted to explore this planet that had the remnants of the very first Jedi temple. Your master told you to meditate, feel the force as she said. But being left all alone in your room, hearing all the new younglings that were brought here by Poe Dameron and parents who believed that their children needed guidance, training basic saber skills using bo staffs, made you feel antsy.

There weren't many padawans your age, nor were there many Masters, in fact your master was still the only known master. Though you've heard that Ezra Bridger lives, his location is unknown and with what he went through, your master decided to not involve him in her plans. Ahsoka Tano and Sabine Wren are also unknown. Whether Ahsoka is still alive is quite debatable. Togruta's who were force sensitive were rumored to live til two hundred years old but you digress.

You wanted to see the temple that crumbled down due to what Kylo-no, what Ben Solo did. Now here you were, foot stuck in a crack on the ground. You held onto the wall for stability, in the picture of a woman with an owl beside her. You felt dizzy, then nothing. You opened your eyes to a fascinating sight. It was like a path filled with endless gateways, with the stars as its background. You had no clue where you were, so you decided to walk around. This place was strange to say the least. You could feel your lightsaber with you still and the small pack you carried but you nearly dropped both when you heard the sound of birds' squawk. The owl's white feathers tinged with green with light green eyes, stared at you. As if sensing your fear it flies away. It turns around and beckons for you to follow. You ran after it and saw that as it landed on one of the gateways, it opened up. The sight before you was a blur but you decided to fall through, perhaps the owl had an idea. You wished to learn about the force or what the history was but, there were barely any salvageable items in any of the temples thanks to the empire. So without any hesitation you leaped in.

"Move kid!" A voice shouted.

"Sorry!" I said as I moved out of the way.

You were confused. This was a rebel base, but you don't know where this was. Try as you might but you got nothing.

"You lost?" A voice asked.

"Yeah I am. Excuse me but where are we..." You trailed off as you came face to face with a tall, young man.

"Wow...hi." you said shyly.

"Hi. Who are you? I'm sure I've never seen you around before." He said quite sternly.

You got nervous, how can you tell them that you basically are from a different time and that you're basically here because a bird led you here.

"Um it's a long story." You said.

He looked at you and noticed you small pack and the lightsaber clipped onto it and he looked back at you curiously.

"Come with me for a bit. I need you to talk to Hera." He spoke.

"Hera? As in General Hera Syndulla?" You said excitedly.

"General? Okay...sure whatever you say." He said shrugging.

As you two walked in silence, you kept looking at him. Something about him felt awfully familiar, it's like you had the answer at the tip of your tongue and you just couldn't figure it out.

"If you stare any harder I might turn to goo." He said teasingly.

"Sorry! It's just that, I don't know your name. I mean you don't know mine either which makes sense, but I'm (Y/N). Not that you were asking but you know, formalities." You said as you felt your face heat up.

"I'm Ezra. You're a jedi." Ezra said with a small smile.

You looked at him starstruck as you just now realized who he was. Ezra Frickin Bridger. Savior of Lothal, king of fake names, hoarder of helmets. The only other Jedi who's alive but his location is a complete mystery. You shook your head and acted normal. You spoke once more trying to hide your sudden excitement.

"A padawan. A very bad one, since I managed to not only ignore my master's order but also managed to lose my way." You muttered to yourself.

"Oh so that's what that little rat tail is for." Ezra said.

"Hey! This rat tail shows I'm an official padawan. My master was just following what the stupid temple said." You defended.

"It looks cute on you though." He added as he opened the door that showed Hera Syndulla herself, sitting down while surrounded by a few others.

"Ezra, I'm in a meeting, what's this about?" Hera said as suddenly all eyes were on you both, all except Hera herself.

"I found a wandering girl in the base and she's a jedi, sorry, she's a padawan." Ezra said.

"A padawan?" Hera said confusedly. She finally turns around and looks at the two of you and out of sheer awkwardness, you raise your arm to wave at everyone. Hera looked at the rest of the people in the room to signal them to exit.

When everyone has left, all except Ezra and Hera, she calls for Zeb and Sabine to join her. You were led to sit in one of the many empty chairs. You looked around fascinated with what you could see. This was the now destroyed Chopper Base or home base of the ghost. Grand Admiral Thrawn follows one of the ships that dock here, then rains fire on this base. This is what intertwines the fates of both Thrawn and Ezra Bridger.

"What did you call us here for Hera?" Sabine's voice rang out.

You have only seen holograms of her in the Lothal museum before the empire ransacked them and destroyed everything. Only bits and pieces of the mural were left behind but she looks exactly like the holograms, perhaps years younger, behind her was Zeb and Chopper, and to say I was fascinated and in awe was an understatement.

"Ezra found a wandering girl in our base who just so happens to be a padawan." Hera said.

"A padawan? Where's your master?" Zeb asked.

"It's a long story." You said quietly.

"We've got time." Sabine said crossing her arms.

I took a deep breath and hoped to the force that they find it in themselves to believe you. You understand it's gonna be a lot to process but it's better to do it sooner rather than later.

"Well, I'm truly a padawan, my master's name is Rey Skywalker. I'm also not from this time. I'm from the far future. Well not that far into the future seeing how in my time Ezra's still alive, around his early fifties and Sabine is still probably alive...I think." You said.

"Okay, you could be making it up though." Ezra said.

"I know that you're in need of more pilots, and Ezra's joining them because he has a bigger role now in the rebellion. I know he's way stronger than he was six months ago, and that there's trouble brewing in Mandalore and Sabine needs to return there." You said confidently.

"That could have been heard by you." Hera rationalized.

"The problem with Mandalore, is nothing new. It was bound to happen." Sabine answered.

"I can't just say something about the future! There are rules to time travel that one mustn't break. There are time paradoxes that could be born just because I exist here." You said.

"So, you could also just say that to avoid us questioning you further." Zeb said, arms crossed.

"There is a spy within the empire, planted by the resistance. The unexpected ally would be an important part of your lives. This base is also bound to be found by a bigger threat." You said.

You walked towards Ezra, keeping eye contact. You whispered your next words to him.

"You're learning to be stronger from the Sith Holocron that you've gotten from Malachor." You looked at him pleadingly.

"She isn't lying. She just told me something that only I knew." Ezra said.

Hera looked at Ezra before she nodded her head. Sabine looked confused but couldn't care less and Zeb felt confused but let it slide.

"Well, the kid's lost. She should probably get some time to get used to this time period." Zeb spoke.

"Ezra, you should train with her. She said she's a padawan, so she's probably used to training the same way Kanan was training you." Sabine added.

"It'll also help you not be a little shit anymore to others." Sabine added jokingly.

"You're also much closer in age it seems so you have the honor of leading her around these places. If you don't mind as well, would you be willing to help out our cause while you're here?" Hera asked kindly.

"Oh sure. I'm fine with that." You said.

"Great, well welcome to the rebellion, um. What's your name again?" Hera inquired.

"My name's (Y/N) (Y/L/N), nice to meet all of you." You answered.

"Well for formalities sake, I'm Hera, That's Zeb and Sabine." She said as she gestured to them who were standing by the door.

"And of course you've met Ezra. Kanan is busy as of right now, but you might bump into him from time to time." She added.

You nodded your head as she gestured for all of you to leave. Zeb and Sabine parted ways, Sabine going off to do her own thing, while Zeb went to train new recruits. Ezra gestured for you to follow him and so you did.

"So you know about the holocron." He said.

"I do. Don't worry I won't tell anyone, not because I agree with you using it but because you have to learn your lesson first hand." You reasoned.

"Oh and what lesson would I learn?" Ezra asked teasingly.

"To not mess with forces unknown to you." You whispered.

"You seem to know what it's like to use a sith Holocron though." Ezra pointed out.

"It's a long story. A painful one as well." You said stiffly.

Ezra grabbed your hand and brought you to a secluded area and patted the spot beside him as he sat down.

"I've got time. It's not like Kanan is training me anytime soon again." He said with his eyes closed.

You took a deep breath, clearing your mind. It's not like the memory was a distant one. After all, the fall of the empire, of Palpatine, was only a year ago. Your escape from the empire was only seven months ago.

"When I was a child living in Naboo, my parents were part of the few remaining empire loyalists. I never shared their views as a child. Often getting into fights with them. When my force sensitivity manifested, I didn't know it then that they called for General Hux. They told him about my abilities in the force and when he arrived, he took me with him. I begged and cried for my parents to save me but all they said was that the knights of Ren would be a suitable place for me. To show me the beauty of the dark side of the force. I was only ten years old." You retold your painful memories. You felt your nails dig into your palm to ground you as you continued.

"By the time I was fifteen, I was one of the strongest among the other force sensitive children they took. Kylo Ren would watch as we train, he would pick and choose who would fight him for the day, to test our limits. When we weren't training they'd make us touch the sith Holocron, a lot of the others succumbed to their desires to be stronger, to know everything and they were given the title Knight of Ren. I didn't so, I got a bunch of the others like me to run away when my now master arrived to escape the starkiller base. I was the only one who successfully escaped as the others were killed by the loyalists. I only escaped because I had to kill them too." You said, voice filled with regret.

"I'm sorry." Ezra said as he reached for your tightly closed fist.

"I surrendered to the resistance, I expected to be imprisoned but Poe took a different path. He told me that I was just a child, that it wasn't my fault. I followed Rey, my master when she found the person Kylo Ren was searching for. The rest was history. I can't fully tell you the details as it would cause problems...probably." you finished.

"Yeah that's alright. I hope you know that even with that, I still need to use the Holocron. I need answers and-" Ezra spoke but you cut him off.

"As I said. I'm not here to change what happened. But if you really want to continue, test out your skills on me. I still have years of training from the sith on me. I'm still learning how to do defense more than offense, so maybe you could teach me that." You offered.

"Plus, this is part of your journey. Taking it away from you might fully change who you are." You added.

"That makes sense. So, you ended up here because you were clumsy enough to get your feet stuck in a hole?" Ezra said trying to light up the mood.

"Really, that's your ice breaker? I'm quite sad with that. You could do better." You said smiling softly.

"Hey it's better than, your rat tail looks so long, can I pull it? Would you rather I say that then?" He joked.

"This rat tail is a staple for padawans. Wait, if you're a padawan, why don't you have one?" You asked

"Because I don't need it." Ezra answered smugly.

___________________________________

Weeks passed with you stuck in this time. Hera and the rest of the ghost crew tried fitting, finding the location of ahch-to to perhaps lead you home but have come up with nothing. Ezra has trained with you, though you see that the Holocron affects him, somehow you can also see that he is not one to be easily swayed to the dark side.

"You're distracted." Ezra said as he pushed you back using the force.

"Sorry, I just, miss home." You said as you dodged another of his attacks, dropping yourself lower and using your saber to attack him from below, to which he dodges gracefully.

"Focus on your surroundings and use it to your advantage Ezra." You critiqued

As you two trained, your sabers clashing against each other. Yellow and green clash, sending sparks to fly. Ezra proved to be stronger as he managed to disarm you, his saber pointing close to your face.

"I win. We still need to work on how you defend yourself. You have way too many openings, your stance when defending yourself is weak. Here grab your saber." He said handing it to you.

He stood behind you, kicking your leg to tell you to widen them. He then checked your stance before kicking your right leg again to tell you to widen it a bit more.

"You have to widen your stance, to have balance, it makes sending you falling when you deflect another saber difficult. And raise your arms a bit higher to protect your face more." Ezra said guiding you from behind.

He was kind to you, though he had moments where the dark side seemed to call out to him, he never lashed out on you. His kindness and willingness to protect his friends, his family, was something that you wished someone had for you. It was no wonder why you easily fell for his charms. He was also funny. Though your master told you that she believed that love wasn't the problem in being a Jedi, but the selfish kind of love. You learned not to shy away from your feelings. You knew that you were meant to return to your time sooner or later, so you chose to keep your feelings locked up. Ezra has his life here.

"what's it like in the future anyways, after the whole schtick with the second coming of the empire?" He asked one night.

"It's peaceful. The people don't feel worried about fighting to survive anymore. Most of the people in the resistance can finally go home. The remaining empire loyalists were put to trial and sent to prison. They can choose to join a rehabilitation program, or they stay where they deserve." You said.

"I have a question." Ezra said.

"I might have an answer." You joked.

"What if you stay here? With us, with me." Ezra said, his gaze stuck on you.

"You know I can't. This isn't my time." You said softly.

"But it can be. We fit well together. I won't be alone as a Jedi, Kanan's back with us, so he can train us better." Ezra tried to rationalize with you.

"We can be something more than this!" He exclaimed.

"And what is this? We're friends aren't we?" You asked.

"Friends don't look at each other the way we do, and they don't sleep in each other's beds." He said.

"I like you and I know you do too. So stay here." Ezra pleaded.

"I can't. I'm sorry." You said.

"You didn't deny your feelings." He pointed out.

"I don't want to. But it's selfish of me to be with you when I have no intentions of staying here." You said.

___________________________________

Ezra avoided you after that, going on mission after mission. While you joined Zeb to find clues to where Ahch-to was, and though it took a while, you finally found it. The cantina that would one day belong to Maz Kanata was where you found its location. Supplied to you by a pirate that Zeb was in contact with. You related this news to the rest of the ghost upon your arrival and though the rest were happy, Ezra could only stare sadly.

You packed what you originally had, leaving behind the clothes given to you, but took small mementos that they had given you. You were busy packing your things that you didn't notice Ezra enter your room.

"You're leaving soon." Ezra said monotonously.

"Yeah, I am." You said avoiding his eyes.

"I'm sorry about the argument before. It's just that, why would you be led here? Why this time?" Ezra said frustratedly.

"Because I had to learn from you and you needed someone to understand." You said still not looking at him.

"Please look at me (Y/N). I don't want my last memory of you to be this. This distance, it hurts." Ezra said softly.

You faced him, arms still crossed. Your eyes avoiding his. He walked closer to where you stood and held you close. He knew that this was where it ended for you two. Funny how he was shown someone he would have wanted to be with only for them to belong somewhere else.

"I'll miss you." He said, voice muffled by your clothes.

"I'll miss you too. Thanks for being my sparring partner and my friend." You said, eyes closed.

"Thanks for being my friend too. For reasoning with me when I needed it. Thank you for letting me learn on my own terms." He said.

As he let you go, a part of him felt pained. This would be the last time. Seeing you in the future would be much too painful, because he'd be reminded of this moment. So he took a chance, and left a chaste kiss on your lips. It was gone before you fully understood what happened.

Ezra didn't see you off anymore, nor was he part of the crew that dropped you off into the temple. You followed the writings on the wall, when you finally reopened the portal. You don't remember what happened next but as you woke up, you were back in your cabin. You heard the voices of the younglings once more. Then your door opened.

"Rey! She's awake!" Finn called.

Rey alongside Rose, Poe and Chewie, entered your room. Rey smiled softly at you and you couldn't help but burst into tears.

"Hey, hey, you're okay." She said rushing to your side.

"I went to another time. The temple opened a portal and I went in. I met someone and it hurt to leave." You said.

Rey held you close as she looked at the others. Somehow that sudden letter from Ezra felt like a clue but she waited for you to calm down. Once you were she explained what happened, where they saw you and the sudden arrival of a letter addressed to you, from Ezra Bridger himself. She gave you privacy once the letter was in your hands.

You ripped the envelope open once you saw that it really was addressed to you.

Dear (Y/N),

How long has it been? For you perhaps a few minutes? A few days maybe? For me it's been too long. I bet you knew of what I did for Lothal, or my exile, my return, what happened when I returned. I still can't believe you were right about the Chopper base getting destroyed. I missed you all those years. I missed you when I was in Peridea. I missed you during those nights where all I had were my own thoughts. I'm old now, like you said. Why did I hide myself during the war again? Because I knew that if I saw you, even by chance, I wouldn't be able to take it. I already saw you, in the world between worlds. I now know that in that time, I saw what would've happened to you, and if it weren't for Ahsoka's logical reasoning, I would have done something stupid, like jump in to save you.

Life went on even though we were apart but I believed that what you taught me the most, was selfless love. I was selfishly asking you to stay and leave it all behind when your life has barely begun. Mine was already preordained. Though I know that at this point I'm older than you now by many many years. I hope you know that the feelings I felt for you, were my source of light. Thank you for those few weeks. Live your life.

P.S. for the love of the force, don't disobey your master alright.

Farewell and live a good life,

Ezra.

It truly was bittersweet. To meet the right person in the wrong time. But everything, every moment was one you will cherish and Ezra's right. Life goes on and so will you. Perhaps one day, time will be right for you two.

___________________________________

Note: holy kamote! I finished it! Though I apologize for accidentally posting he unfinished work earlier, Tumblr glitched and even though I put it as save to draft, when I clicked save it got posted. So here's the finished work. It's longer than my usual ones, heheheheh. Enjoy!

[lab-trash]

Today is mother's day and I got my dad a present. Multiple actually.

For background, my mom doesn't live with us. She moved out in 2021 and she moved back in with her parents just a couple months ago. She was neglectful when she did live here and I can't remember a single promise she ever kept.

My dad took over her (tiny amount of) responsibilities when she left and I think it made me appreciate him more. My dad wasn't there a ton when I was a kid, but that was because he had a job that required a 45 minute commute, and it's not like he was gonna get anything better to support our 8-member family. My dad has always tried his best.

(Fun fact: The day I bought a #1 Dad Mug at a thrift shop that matched my mom's very unique #1 Mom Mug was the same day my mom's mug broke. Talk about symbolism.)

In October he took in a homeless trans kid that my sister's partner was friends with. Both that kid and my sisters partner are going to be in our family pictures this coming Thursday.

At Walmart, I saw a pillow that said "mama bear" on it. And immediately I was like, I have to get this for my dad. For context, my dad is a bigger man with a big beard and long hair. He's a bear. He's also greygender and pretty much only uses his agab terms because, well, he's 45 and it doesn't really matter to him.

After seeing that pillow, I decided I didn't want to just do that. I got him a cuticle remover (he was talking about how he enjoyed it), some new hair things and hair clips (again, long hair), some oatmeal cookies that I know he likes, dark chocolate peanutbutter doves, and some liquid death, which we'd recently had a laugh over the existence of before promptly realising its actually really good. Lastly, a peanuts card that I picked up last minute.

I had to fit everything into a box from work so he wouldn't see anything and I brought it home under the pretense that my coworker had given me some miscellaneous items while decluttering. I brought it into my room, set everything up and put it behind my door.

I went around and had everyone sign it, only barely managing to get my sister before she left for work (unfortunately her partner left earlier than we anticipated, so I couldn't get them to sign the card) and I put everything into this tall bag with a unicorn on it. It was one of the only bags that was big enough to fit everything, and I just thought it was so perfect.

I was also planning on giving him a painting I did in middle school of the northern lights— I have all of my paintings from middle school tucked away on my bookshelf— but I couldn't find it.

I had to go to the store with him when he picked up my sister, so I couldn't just wait for him to get home. I had to wait til he went out to the van, sprint upstairs, grab this bag that's easily 15 pounds because of the liquid death, rush back downstairs, hide it between our couches, rush out to the van, then rush back inside when we got home and set it up on a couch for him to open.

It went over really well, which was something i was worried about right at the end there, since he'd asked me and my sister if we told our mom happy mothers day. I hadn't, but my sister had. They were talking about it when they entered and I beckoned dad into the living room for his mother's day gift.

Overall, I spent about $60 on the gift. And I don't regret it. One of the biggest things of note with my mom was that whenever we celebrated mother's day, I would always try to put effort into it to make her happy. And it was never... really appreciated. I remember one year I got this sort of clear trophy-wine glass thingy and put some chocolate in it, and I had all of her kids sign the lid. She didn't take it when she left. It was sitting in our kitchen (with half of our deadnames on it, might I add) until a few months ago. If she'd left it in dad's room, I think it'd be less hurtful, but she left it on the microwave cart where we all saw it every day. Mocking us both with our deadnames and our failure of a gift.

Buying for my dad wasn't like that. I know even if I fucked up one of the items, he'd enjoy even the existence of it at all. I could've just bought the card or just the pillow and he would've been happy. But I didn't, almost because of that fact. My dad would be happy with less, so he deserved more.

[whatisreggieshortfor]

Goodbye Dylan

Inspired by a mix of Goodbye Earl by the Dixie Chicks and If You Go Down I’m Going Down Too by Kelsea Ballerini

And some discussion on which Islanders were the most Ride or Die

When her husband turns out to be… less than ideal, her best mates are there to make sure he never hurts her again.

TW: domestic abuse, death

When Kenna met Angie and Seb, the three of them were first years in secondary school. Seb had made a sarcastic comment when he got paired with a pristine cheerleader during introductions on the first day of class, and the two girls immediately flocked to their fellow cynic. They became inseparable after the first day- no matter what happened to one, the other two were always right there with whatever they needed.

After they graduated, Seb used what should have been his college fund to buy his store, and Angie took courses to become a paramedic.

They weren’t around as much, so Kenna started feeling lonely.

When she found someone that pursued her, no matter how many she initially rejected the idea of romantic intentions, she eventually gave in without her voices of reason there to help her stop him.

Seb and Angie didn’t meet him until the wedding day- a courthouse affair that happened far too quickly for their liking. Neither of them could pretend they didn’t notice the bruises Kenna had tried to hide under make up.

Then Angie was working one night, and she got the call.

An ambulance dispatch to Kenna’s address.

Angie had never shoved her partner into the passenger seat so fast as she blared the siren and floored the gas. Her partner panicked as she barked at him to grab her phone and call the number marked Third Musketeer, a move Kenna had made in each of their phones in remembrance of what their parents called their friendship.

When there was no answer he was ordered to call the one named First Musketeer.

“Seb!” Angie shouted as soon the call connected, her partner held out the speaker, “I just got a dispatch call to Kenna’s place!”

“What!?” There was a crash followed by several thuds and the cussing yell at Doom to move, “I can be in town in twenty minutes, let me know where to go!”

The tires squealed loudly as Angie slammed the brakes in front of Kenna’s flat, a neighbor already holding the buzzer door open for them as she sprinted in, taking the stairs two at a time with her med bag in hand, “Ken!” She called as she made it to the flat door, “I’m here!”

Angie felt her own blood run cold when she saw her best mate clutching a kitchen towel to a wound on her arm that was still seeping blood on her carpet. As Kenna picked up her head at the sound of Angie’s footsteps, the paramedic felt tears burn her eyes when she caught sight of the split lip and black eye adorning Kenna’s usually stunning face, “Anj…”

Before she could say a word, Kenna had looped her arms around Angie’s neck, hand slipping and fumbling to keep the towel still pressed to the bleeding. But she forced the words out, “What happened? Did he do this to you?”

Kenna whimpered softly as Angie pulled away to check the bleeding, only to find a gash that must’ve been caused by a kitchen knife- and she felt her blood boiling. The reason Kenna was such an integral part of Angie and Seb’s lives was because of the way she never backed down. The way she was strong and brash, always in control of her life and sharp tongued to anyone that looked at her sideways, while still being the sweetest among them.

Angie felt cold seeing this terrified version of her she never had before.

Gently, Angie led Kenna to the door, “I’m gonna take you in to the hospital, so you can get the stitches you need, okay? I’ll be back as soon as clock out.”

“I can’t be alone…” Kenna whispered, “He’ll come back.”

Angie’s arms tensed around her, anger flaring in her chest that she tried to push down, “Seb will meet you there, okay? Unless I get a call I can wait til he gets there. You won’t be alone, babes. I promise.”

The ride in the ambulance was eerily silent. Angie’s partner didn’t ask a single question about what had happened- opting to let her take care of the patient intake. He’d become far too familiar with the dynamic the three of them had over the years. Kenna’s voice never rose above a whisper.

The day Kenna got released, Seb and Angie took the day off to accompany her to the courthouse as she filed for a divorce and protection order.

But the protection order didn’t stop him.

Seb had tried to call Kenna when an album she’d been waiting for had finally come in, but he didn’t get an answer. Concern flooding through his body, he closed the shop early and hopped on the tram.

Kenna ended up in the ICU.

Angie and Seb didn’t think twice about taking time off work, she had the vacation time and he was his own boss with enough sales to make up the cost.

The three of them knew what they needed to do.

Two days after Kenna made it to her new home, Dylan was at her door. But this time she wasn’t alone for him to pushover and bully.

Seb had just finished folding the last of the towels they’d used and washed when there was a knock on the door. Kenna swung it open with a smile, greeting the two officers that stood there, “Hi, can I help you?”

“Sorry to bother you, Ms. Drummond. We understand Dylan Knowles is your ex husband?”

“Yes, sir.” She answered with a nod, letting her smile drop away, “But he isn’t allowed within a hundred feet of me, or five hundred yards of my flat.”

The officer nodded, “We got a call that he’s been reported as a missing person. I’m sorry, I hate to ask- do you have an alibi for the last few hours?”

“I do, actually,” Kenna offered, calling her best mates into the doorway, “My mates have been helping me get settled in, since I can’t lift anything on my own.” She gestured to the sling and injuries that still littered her body.

“And what time did you two arrive?”

“I got here around seven last night? After I picked up dinner.” Angie wondered aloud, “And Seb got here after the last tram ran, had to run back to his flat to feed his cat.”

Within a few more questions, the officers asked Kenna to call if he showed and gave her a card.

The three of them shared a smirk as the door shut behind them.

“You think they’ll ever figure it out?” Seb asked later that night as they all settled into her sofa to watch a movie.

“They can try,” Kenna nudged their shoulders, “But for my two guardian angels, I’ll put my hand on the Bible and still lie through my teeth.”

Angie chuckled, slinging her carefully around Kenna’s shoulders and pulling Seb in to the cuddle while they all pretended his grumbled protests were genuine, “Our bodies get buried in the same ditch, babes. If you go down, I’m going down, too.”

Masterlist

[narcissusbrokenmirror]

i need to talk about Alex, Luke and Reggie and their families' dynamics.

We don't get a lot from the show apart from Luke and it's not that much either, when we think about it. But from Reggie and Alex? Crumbs of backstory. the references we got to their past from the show is that Reggie's parent were in a bad relationship and Alex's parent were homophobic. god bless the guy who decided to write books abt it bc i can't stress enough over not knowing abt their past.

So starting with Reggie, my favorite backstory, is that he had parents who were always fighting amd he also had a little brother, age not specified but i guess between 8-11, Steve admired Reggie and his band and Reggie kinda regretted not spending enough time w him bc of the band. idk thinking of Reggie as an older brother opens lot of possibilities for what his character would've become. also brings more of a reason why he's so goofy and lightheaded, it can be either a way to separate from, maybe, a figure of power for his brother, being held to a responsibility or something alike, i mean, none really knows how stuff were inside Reggie's house so there's no way to tell if they had been heavily neglected at some point. or maybe being optimistic and joyful was just the way he tried to find to make things lighter for his brother when he was around, maybe to his whole family when trying to keep them from starting a fight (we also dont know for how long reggie's parents have been fighting). either way, fascinates me.

Alex also intrigued me a little bit, but i liked to figure him out. I personally enjoy when fanfic writers make his parents religious or give him fear of coming out to his friends, but, just ain't real. From what I've read on the book, Alex's parents used to be supportive of the band and welcoming to his friends, they'd have sleepovers w the whole band, and be warm and welcoming. When Alex mentions being gay, he says he wouldn't sneak a guy he actually liked out of his window and wanted to bring this hypothetical guy through the front door like his older sister did w her boyfriends, this being the 90's its a pretty prideful statement for a gay teenager. But Kenny mentioned Alex is pride of himself and wouldn't hide it. So i don't think Alex got christian fever over his sexuality, neither did his parents. What i guess, is that Alex was the kid with "Cool Parents" that would let him be and do what he wanted, be supportive of him, Alex pretty much mentioned on the show he was always trustworthy (in rhetoric to Reggie never being believed as a kid). What also would explain how Alex can grow so confident of himself and expect to receive the same treatment his sister does. So the moment Alex came out, something he never took back, even when his parents didn't approved, it shifted the whole "modern cool parents" thing bc yeah, Alex can have a band, be a drummer (which is not everyone's favorite instrument to have at home), let his sister bring multiple boyfriends to their house, but if Alex wants to bring guys, he better do it far from their eyes. "do what you want, but not under my roof". Clearly, it affected him to have a family who was loving and supportive, just to find out that being gay was going to twist the way his parents saw and treated him like, and ofc that's not what Alex wanted, he wanted the warmth and the love he'd always received before. also, Alex being a young brother makes sense to why he's a little shit on the show.

Luke also has interesting background. Different from Alex, who had a family who supported his band (til they didn't anymore) and Reggie, who had a family who probably didn't cared, Luke had a family very much disapproving of his life dream, so much that i doubt they've met the boys personally, aside from Bobby bc he was Luke's oldest friend, since there's a moment on the book Alex asks where they are and its Luke's house, and they have been friends for years so its interesting Alex not knowing where Luke lives. i think Sunset Curve was just a part of his life that Luke didn't shared with his parents bc he knew it wouldn't be worth it. What doesn't mean Luke didn't wanted to share, he was trying to make it without his parents' support, getting a job to buy instruments and other stuff for example. And if Alex is not the religious link of the group, Luke definitely is, not only he makes mentions of Hell and Heaven, but his house has a huge cross on it, visible on the clip of Unsaid Emily, and i think that's why Luke, at the same time he doesn't want to talk of the past, is the one who feels more guilty about the way he left things with his mom. Boy got hard catholic guilt on his head even if Luke himself isn't really into religion.

I'm not gonna make myself long with Bobby, bc if Alex and Reggie left crumbs of backstory, Bobby left drops in the sun. but the book had some pretty cool details, he got three older brothers who are sport trifecta, and Bobby is the kid who only got to play in a band, he doesn't get a lot of attention from his parents and even Luke is his friend since they were kids and they started playing together, he also feels apart from the band, he also seems to care a lot about Luke since he wanted Luke to make up with his mom on the day of their show at the orpheum. So it does adds dimension to the character we see on the show.

[blossoms-and-possums]

vigilante shit is @battlehamster ’s wywm regulus’ song. here is why:

draw the cat eye, sharp enough to kill a man

okay, this line is obviously about being able to paint sleek, clean eyeliner on, which we know regulus can do, even after a period of an inability practice.

‘Taking in a deep breath, Regulus lets muscle memory do its job with quick, short strokes [of eyeliner], until he’s got a sharp line on the very corner of each eye. And it’s the best feeling he’s experienced in fuck knows how long. He turns to look at Sirius with his middle finger up[.]’ - ch17.

you did some bad things, but i’m the worst of them

sometimes i wonder, which one will be your last lie? they say looks can kill and i might try

these lines are about power, which we know regulus has. he’s a Black, and yaz has established in wywm that the Black family blood is important. it gets people places, it gets people fired, it gets shit done (and they look good while doing it). 

‘looks can kill’ here could have a double meaning, in that regulus always looks good - ‘[regulus is] pretty in absolutely everything he wears.’ - ch17 - and that his wrath is enough to kill someone. he even mentions a willingness to have lily killed for her neglect and awful treatment of james and harry. ‘Murder has never figured among the list of his crimes, even the ones he wasn’t put to trial for. But he’s also well aware of the fact that dismissing of Lily wouldn’t keep him up at night, because just like Sirius used to say, half of him did come from Walburga Black, after all. If James asked him to, Lily wouldn’t make it alive ‘til sunrise.’ - 17

i don’t dress for women, i don’t dress for men

lately i’ve been dressing for revenge

since moving into james’ place for house arrest, regulus wears clothes that make him happy. he doesn’t wear the trousers and shirts he was essentially forced to wear when he was engaged to barty and working for his parents. his freedom in his clothes and stylistic choices are is ‘revenge’, a “fuck you” of sorts to walburga and the control she had over him.

‘He’s allowed to wear something that makes him feel pretty. Especially if that something happens to be something that would’ve made Mother throw a fit if she saw him in it. And it’s not that oversized t-shirts and cool socks don’t make him feel pretty, mind you. He’s pretty in absolutely everything he wears. But he can’t deny there are certain things that bring him some extra happiness when he puts them on, like overalls.’ - ch17

i don’t start shit, but i can tell you house it ends

so, obviously, regulus didn’t initiate the corruption of the Black Empire. once his parents, lucius, and other employees/members of the family land themselves in prison, and regulus is able to get out via sirius, regulus is able to direct where the future of the Black Empire is headed. he does so by influencing amos into doing his bidding, with the promise of power.

‘“And I will, of course, occupy her place. So, when this shitshow ends, I am going to need a new COO. Someone dedicated and intelligent, but above all, someone loyal. That someone will be you if, and only if, you keep me as far away as you possibly can from Black Industries until I can walk free.”

Regulus slides the stack of papers back to him, and extends his hand.

“Do we have a deal, Amos?”

A bit wide-eyed, Amos is quick to nod, taking his hand.

Regulus shakes it firmly, with a grin crossing his lips.’ - ch11

don’t get sad, get even

regulus has demonstrated a vengeful streak, which i elaborate on a bit more in the ‘vigilante shit’ section, but is shown in this quote: ‘“Of course I do,” he snaps. “I can make her disappear from the face of the Earth and never inconvenience you or Harry ever again, if that’s what you want.”’ - ch17. regulus is willing to have lily killed for her mistreatment of the boys he loves; that is, james and harry. to regulus, this is ‘get[ting] even’. 

so on the weekends, i don’t dress for friends

lately i’ve been dressing for revenge

she needed cold hard proof, so i gave her some

she had the envelope, where you think she got it from?

now she gets the house, gets the kids, gets the pride

after all the miserable years regulus endured away from james, whilst with barty or in prison, he gets to be reunited with his lover, he gets a kid, gets to move into james’ house, and his finally reaching a happy ending. ‘“Not you, Dada!” Harry grunts. “I was talking to Papa!”’ - ch30/31

‘“I can make you the happiest man alive.”

Regulus stays quiet for a long time, enough to make James wonder if he stepped out of line, but then his lip curves tenderly at the corner and the night becomes brighter. “You already do, darling.”’ - ch32

‘“I love you more,” he whispers close to Regulus’ ear, but Regulus shakes his head.

“I regret to inform you that’s impossible,” he tells James. “I love you more.”’ - ch32

picture me thick as thieves with your ex-wife

and she looks so pretty drivin’ in your Benz

regulus was gifted a mercedes-benz on his birthday. ‘“Someone sent you the keys to a bloody Benz.”’ - ch17 

also, james got a new car after getting into an accident. and im sure james (im making james the ‘she’ here, hope that’s ok with you all) definitely looks pretty when he drives :) ‘“I should have the new car by then so I’m going to drive down to the office for that, you won’t have to see Bobby again.”’ - ch24

lately she’s been dressing for revenge

well, he was doing lines

and crossin’ all of mine

someone told his white collar crimes to the fbi

this line is so self-explanatory, i feel like this headline will more than suffice. ‘‘REGULUS BLACK SENTENCED TO SERVE ONE YEAR AND EIGHT MONTHS BEHIND BARS IN AZKABAN FOR WHITE COLLAR CRIMES.’ - ch1.

and i don’t dress for villains or for innocents

once more, just elaborating on how, with his newfound freedom (ironic, given the most freedom regulus has is during house arrest for his crimes, but i digress) regulus dresses only for himself. ‘Oh, nothing, besides the fact that he spent years forcing himself to put on suits and ties and leather shoes and fucking belts every time he had to dress up like a proper businessman, even when he was in uni, and then the time he spent sitting behind a desk, eating grilled salmon for lunch and resisting the horribly strong urge to tell his secretary to cancel all his meetings because he was going to jump off the balcony. To be fair, putting on some jeans will never, ever amount to that sort of torture, but still.‘ - ch11.

i’m on my vigilante shit again

i think it’s safe to say regulus would consider himself a vigilante. by definition, a vigilante is someone who undertakes law enforcement without legal authority, typically because the legal agencies are thought to be inadequate. this definitely rings true with what we have seen with regulus. most obviously is with the lily situation, and having her deported from india back to england, and stripping her of her ability to work where she had been. notably, regulus does his vigilantism behind james’ back. repeatedly. 

(1.) ‘“Hold on, is this about you getting Lily deported back to England?” James wonders. Regulus doesn't think he's ever been robbed of his words as quickly as in that moment. “What?” he wheezes, shoulders falling on his sides. “How the fuck did you know about that?”[...]

“I know you, Black, whether you like it or not. And that night you asked me if I had any news on her, you got that look in your eye... The look that always, always means trouble,” James tells him. “Every time you got that look I used to fear for some poor soul's safety, (2.) like that time some Hufflepuff called me some names and you got his head and eyebrows shaved off right before the Yule Ball.”’ - ch17.

james goes on to say he never knew how regulus did ‘that’ - shaving the hufflepuff’s eyebrows off before the yule ball - and regulus then tells him. as previously mentioned, regulus also intends to reform the Black Empire with amos diggory’s assistance, which could be yet another example of his vigilantism.

ok. that’s all i got rn.

[because-im-a-mirrorball]

hey there marybeth it’s been awhile!! how are you? lots of things to Catch up On in my world! the job i was just starting the last time we talked ended up fiRing me after 3 months because i called their maNager out for stealing tips from our tip share so. that’s fun! not the best first entry into the workforce but it’s ok. my eras tour show was so aMazing, and i actually ended up standing outside the stadium in pittsbUrgh which was really fun!! i also went on a major Family vacation (not saying where because i’ve talked about it on my main haha) and it was incredible. but enough about me, what’s new with you? what are your plans for this Fall? my fall is going to be filled with school, volleyball, and mIssing my sister as she just left for college :( see you sooN!

CORN MUFFIN ANON MY BELOVED!!!! 🌽🧁 @cornmuffinanon sounds like you’ve had much going on!! I’m so glad you had a great time at the eras tour, I did too! I saw her in Atlanta and then was in the parking lot for Seattle and just loved it.

I did my student teaching Jan-April and just loved it. Loved my cooperating teacher, loved my kids, loved teaching. Passed edTPA!! Which was just disgustingly stressful and was a huge contributor to me absolutely disappearing from here.

I graduated college back in May, moved across the country, and am currently job hunting for a teaching position. I actually have 2 or 3 interviews this week so fingers crossed for that 🤞🏻🤞🏻. School doesn’t start til after Labor Day where I live now so that’s a weird schedule adjustment in my brain and it’s stressing me that I don’t have a full teaching position yet. I’m set up to substitute if nothing else, but I’d really ideally like my own classroom.

Let’s see, what else is new with me? Since last we spoke, I dated a guy for 2 months then got dumped 4 days after putting a label on it bc I was moving and he didn’t want to do long distance (he knew the entire time we dated that I was moving and we specifically discussed it when we labeled it). Good news with that though is that I got him into Taylor Swift so now he can never listen to her and not think of me :) small wins ya know?

Anyway so I moved and I’m much closer to my family (read: I moved back in with my parents and sibling after 3 years living alone… big change) but it’s nice to not be on total opposite sides of the country. I’ve managed to start making some friends/friend adjacent people with the group I found for dnd.

I’ve been reading TONS more this year, most especially this summer. From May to now, I’ve read 35 books! And total of 48 so far this year. My goal is 52 books and to read at least 1 page every day and ive met that so far! I have a 232 day reading streak. Best book find of this year by far is The House Witch series by Delemhach. It’s about this witch who becomes the cook for this king and castle of people and his magic all revolves around making people in his home feel safe and welcome 🥹🥹 it’s just so sweet and cozy and low stakes, while still having a compelling story and it’s SO funny!!!

I’m really in the fall mood and so excited for pumpkin spice to return this week 🍂🍁

Anyway there’s my life update ramble, thanks for listening Corn Muffin Anon!! I love you and hope you have the best day

[fagdykefriendship]

s&b spoilers

shadow and bone s2 was GOOD im pretty much either indifferent to or super into all the changes they made. um and wylan was perfect absolutely 100% wylan. and tbh there’s a lot of differences in medium between books/tv and i think it’s good they included some crows backstory in this season

simply because. as book readers we all know these characters. but if you were someone watching the show only i personally wld get so frustrated if a show waited til like a spin-off or season 3 or whatever to give me backstory on very mysterious interesting characters. it was good. and also mostly kaz i mean we don’t have wylans backstory yet… and not all of jespers like we saw his mom but not his dad. he’s got issues around both parents <3

ALSO ALSO?!!! alina. alina. highkey i liked what they did with her. like it struck a good middle ground!! between the fact that the original ending is good bc she sacrifices her powers to save the world (sacrifices of war) and the fact that it is annoying to see someone fight for their powers and then have them completely stripped away. i enjoyed this ending. there’s consequences for merzost.. she’ll never be the same.. AND it fits w lore since shadow summoning kinda seems to have come from morzova’s merzost and manifested into his child being a shadow summoner

only change i didn’t like was david. i hope he comes back but i don’t think he will or at least not how he was.

i’m highkey also loving the changes to jesper and wylan they did feel like the least developed as a couple in six of crows and i do enjoy them getting to have a silly little romance amongst all the tragedy and shit…

i think definitely part of how s2 was done is bc netflix is known to randomly cancel shows and show runners have to like. make every season be a kind of ending these days since they have no guarantee they’ll get an additional season. but i pray that we get six of crows jurda parents heist. intrigued by a lot of things. especially how they’ll get inej back into the soc plot when she’s already achieved her goal essentially.. that’s not a complaint tho just a wondering. it also gives them the opportunity to develop kaz and inej beyond what’s in the books!!

idk i kind of think of the show as a high budget fanfic. which makes it so fun. it’s not a direct adaptation it’s a what if something different (that still makes sense) happened! what if the crows interacted with the s&b characters! it’s so fun i loved s2

i am. so fucking glad it essentially ended with single alina bc I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THE BIGGEST FAN OF SINGLE ALINA!! and so glad they changed up and skipped a lot of book 2 bc let’s be real that book suffers serious pacing issues. it’s so slow. love alina’s agency. i saw some random person complaining about her “making bad choices” but um tbh all her choices seemed generally like.. they made sense so that’s all that matters

[eddieschains]

Since everyone is sharing their end of the year thoughts i suppose i’ll share mine since i am in fact a follower and not a leader.

TW: mentions of drug use, parental issues, abandonment issues, depression, anxiety

I keep saying that this year started out being the best year of my life, and ended with being the worst. But, now that i think back, i honestly think that’s the farthest thing from the truth. This year has brought me some of the best memories of my life and has really changed me and molded me into the person i’ve dreamt of being for the last 22 years.

So for those who don’t know my personal life story, which is almost all of you, let me indulge a little bit.

My mom is a dr*g addict and left me when i was 10 years old, and i never knew my dad. I was practically left to raise myself and figure out life on my own. I was able to move out when i was 16 and have been on my own ever since. It was a struggle of course, but i made it by as well as i could. Unfortunately, when i was 13 i fell into the same habits as my mom. I lost a lot of friends and people in my life, but i was able to pull myself back together and get sober. At 16, i was constantly working and doing my best to graduate school early and start living a life i always dreamed of. And it happened. I found the best group of friends i could’ve possibly asked for, who now have become my family.

Fast forward a couple years, my brother and his wife divorced and neither of them were doing well mentally or physically. They couldn’t take care of their daughter anymore, and growing up the way i did, i couldn’t bear to see her end up in foster care or have her childhood thrown away like mine was. So i agreed to take her. As a 20 year old who swore she would never have children, i was now left to provide for myself and an 8 year old child. And it was honestly great. Until one morning at 2am i got a call from someone claiming to be my mothers fiancé.

He told me my mom was in the hospital with liver failure and a blood disease and wasn’t going to make it til the end of the week. Now, i made a pact with myself when i was 17 that i wouldn’t let her back into my life unless she was clean and sober. I told myself that i wasn’t going to allow her to hop in and out of my life like she had done prior. But in the end, she’s my mom. And i knew i would regret it if i saw her obituary on facebook and didn’t get a chance to say goodbye. So i went to see her.

Her fiancé had over exaggerated the whole situation. She wasn’t dying, but she was sick. So i visited her everyday until she got out. I knew she was homeless, so brought her care packages of everything she might need when she left. When she was discharged from the hospital, i had no idea. I showed up one day and the staff told me she was gone. She did it again. She abandoned me without a word. So i moved on with my life, and made another pact not to let her in.

I focused on myself, my work, and my schooling until it got to be too much for me. I was constantly thinking about her, wondering where she was, if she was alive or dead. I dropped out of school to focus on my mental health and it slowly started getting better and better. And then last year, it happened again.

Another call that she was in the hospital. I didn’t visit her, but i did call her. I wanted to make sure she didn’t feel alone, but also wanted to keep my distance. She asked if i could drive her back home when she got discharged and while hesitant, i agreed. I drove her to a friends house that was very clearly not a sober house. And that was the last time i saw or heard from her.

It’s been a year since then, and it was really really hard in the beginning. It was hard to get her out of my head. It was hard to stop worrying. I was having panic attacks multiple times a week until i had to just let it go. I let her go and really started the work on myself. I checked myself into a behavioral health center and really pulled my shit together.

This was the first year that i barely thought about my mom. And when i did think about her, it didn’t send me down a spiral. I was living every day in the moment, and enjoying nearly every second of it.

I logged back into my old tumblr only about 6 months ago as a joke to be honest. Just like you guys, i fell down the Eddie Munson/Joseph Quinn rabbit hole and wanted to see if people still write fan fiction in 2022. And thank god they do. I found some really good friends on this app and i am so so happy and grateful that i did.

A few weeks ago, my boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me. While it was incredibly painful, i think i actually dealt with it EXTREMELY well. Maybe a little too well honestly. I gave myself a few days to process, and then i just… moved on. And it sounds crazy but i think a lot of that is because of this app and because of you guys.

This place has become my safe space and you guys have genuinely become my friends. It’s a place for me to speak whatever silly little unhinged and horny thought i have in my head, and i know you won’t judge me.

Well, this was a lot and it probably makes barely any sense but long story short, im so proud of myself for who i’ve become this year, and i’m so glad i found this little community. I’ve finally become the person i always wanted to be and honestly you guys are a huge part of it, as stupid as it sounds. So thank you thank you thank you for allowing me to be part of this whole thing and accepting me for who i am. I love you guys. Happy 2023 🤍

[blambololi]

“FRINGLES”

#fringles #fringlesstory #joebiden

<<PROLOGUE>>

Fringles Frances Turner was born out of wedlock to John "Jax" Turner and Katherine Evergreen in Lincoln, Nebraska. Jax and Katherine split when Fringles was 2 because they didn't love him enough :(

Fringles grew up with his dad, always switching between motels to stay at for the night. Fringles's favorite toy as a baby was his dad's unloaded Beretta M9. Fringles would stay at his Mom's house once every couple of months, where he'd meet his Mom's boyfriend Phil

One night, drunk as shit, Jax was tucking in Fringles to go goodnight. Fringles was like 4. Fringles asked his father "When can we go back to Phil's house? He's really cool" and Jax replied "You don't wanna go back there, that place has evil clowns"

"Really?" "Yeah and mom's one of them"

This was news to Fringles, his own mother had been turned to a clown. He never went to his mom's house again, vowing to one day turn her back into a person. Katherine and Phil broke up 3 months later

Fringles and his dad did everything together. They went to see movies, went to baseball games, got ice cream together, ran in fields of grass together, the whole nine yards.

One day Jax asked Fringles what he wanted to be when he grew up and Fringles said he wanted to be a cop. Jax got pissed and yelled at him, telling him he ever becomes a cop then he's assed out of a house. Fringles wouldn't learn til much later tho that the reason his dad got upset was bcuz he had a friend named Kenneth Jones in Omaha who was killed because he didn't have his hazard lights on, so some cops pulled Kenneth out of the car and shot him 4 times

Despite being a bipolar pill head with a criminal record, Fringles loved his dad more than anyone else in the entire world

"Dad, what's school gonna be like?" "Well, it's like prison, but with less funding" "what?" "Nah I'm just fucking with you, you'll probably be fine"

Fringles was both really scared and really excited about starting kindergarten. What if it's not exactly how he wanted it to be?

<<PART 1>>

Fringles had breakfast, it was ham and eggs or something idk. Anyways Jax drove Fringles to school in his Pontiac Solstice and they both walked inside the building.

Jax and Fringles walked into the classroom with all the other parents and their kids. The teacher walked in, Ms. Applegate. "Hello everybody, I'm Ms. Applegate". Ms. Applegate said. Fringles immediately did not like her

After a few minutes, parents started leaving one by one. "Dad, are you leaving?" "Yeah". Fringles didn't want his dad to leave, he was scared to be by himself. "Son don't worry, I know your teacher is a bitch and a half but I promise I'll be back here to pick you up at 4"

School didn't end at 4 but Fringles knew what his Dad meant and hugged him goodbye. As his dad left through the door, Fringles was now in foreign territory. What was he gonna do?

As the teacher laid out the lesson plan, Fringles immediately realized he hated doing work and wanted to go home. "No, I have to be strong! I can do this!" Fringles said to himself. He had to be strong for his dad!

He fell asleep during class but woke up when it was time for recess. As he walked out, he saw the entire playground. What was he gonna play on? The swings, the slide, the monkey bars?

He chose none of them because he was still really tired. He decided to try and make friends, so he started walking towards the first kid he saw which was a girl on the swings.

"Hi, nice to meet you. I'm Fringles" said Fringles. "I'm Emma. You want to swing next to me?"

"No thanks, there's like mud water and wood chips on it"

"Oh okay, well see you later!"

"Wait, what kinda things do you like?"

Emma started thinking. "Well...I like jet-skiing. You ever been?"

"No" "Your family must be really poor then."

"Uh, kinda" Fringles said. "Why would you say that? That was really mean"

Fringles kept talking to Emma for a bit. He actually really enjoyed talking to her, this is the first full length conversation he's ever had

"Uh oh" Emma's face turned red. "Yeah? What's wrong" Fringles asked

Fringles turned around and felt the force of someone's fist connect with his eye socket. He looked up and saw some kid with a shaved head and red shot eyes, his first day here and he already got punched in the face that's crazy

"Why the hell did you do that?!" Fringles asked the kid. "Don't talk to my girl, don't look at her, don't do anything with her!" The kid said.

"Whatever! Fine, she's yours!" Fringles said, coughing up blood because he just got punched by that kid. The kid walked away mad and Emma helped Fringles stand up. "Why the hell didn't you do anything?!" Fringles said to Emma. "Sorry, I thought you were gonna fight back"

"Well thanks a lot, Emma! Good to know you have my back"

"I said sorry"

"Who was that kid?"

"Henry, he's my boyfriend."

"Why did he punch me?!"

"Idk, I guess he didn't like you that much"

"Fuuuucckkk, my jaw..."

Fringles looked up and saw the entire playground staring at him. "What?!" He yelled. They all looked away. Ms. Applegate's not even paying attention, she doesn't get paid enough

"Don't talk to me!" Fringles said to Emma and then walked away. Even though he was upset at her, Fringles couldn't stay mad at her for too long. Honestly, he thought her helplessness and indifference was kinda attractive. The rest of the day was pretty good, Fringles had hot dogs for lunch

Later Fringles's father picked him up from school and asked him how his day was. Fringles looked at him confused "Dad, don't you see my eye?"

"Yeah it looks like you got punched"

"Yeah by some kid named Henry. Dad, I don't think school is right for me"

"Shit, on your first day? That's like a record. Did you at least fight back?"

"Not really. I didn't really have a chance to"

Jax thought for a second then reached into his glove compartment and pulled out a pocket knife "Son, do you know what this is?"

"That's a knife"

"No, it's a safety utensil. I want you to take this to school with you and pull it out next time you get into another situation like this"

"Dad, I can't take a knife to school! I'll get in trouble!"

"Who would you rather get in trouble with, the school or me? You don't have to use it, just pull it out next time some kid tries to mess with you"

"What if the kid's not scared?"

"He will be, it's a knife"

"I'm scared about this, Dad"

"Son..."

Jax rests his hand on Fringles' shoulder. "Just take the goddamn knife"

Fringles takes the knife and looks at it. He really doesn't think this is a good idea

"Trust me, you don't want me handling this myself" Jax says. "You're 5, you're not a baby anymore. You can fix your own problems"

"Ok whatever you say Dad" Fringles says

Fringles and his dad would spend the rest of the day watching Married With Children until 4 in the morning because that's how his dad rolls

The next day, Fringles ate some breakfast got dressed and his dad put the pocket knife in his school bag

When they got to the school, Fringles' class was in the middle of recess

"Tell me how everything goes, ok?"

"Ok I will" Fringles got out the car and began walking to the playground with the knife in his pocket

He looked and saw Henry hanging out by the gates, throwing rocks at red ants

Fringles walked up nervous to Henry and started a conversation "Hey, remember me?"

"Yeah?"

"You hit me yesterday"

"Yeah...what about it"

"You really shouldn't hit people"

"What are you, my dad?"

"No because you know what I look like"

It took Henry a while to get it but then he got offended. "I hit you because you were flirting with Emma. Do you want me to do it again?" Henry asks

"No. I mean, yeah!"

As soon as Henry started walking towards Fringles, he pulled out the knife and pointed it up  causing Henry to take a step back

"Holy crap, is that a knife?" said Henry. Fringles quickly tried thinking of something snarky to say to him

"Uh...what does it look like, fatty?"

Henry immediately started crying really loud and every kid started looking in his direction. While Fringles was distracted, Henry knocked the knife out of his hands and grabbed him by the shirt collar. Henry grabbed him and slammed him into the gate

Not knowing what to do at that exact moment, Fringles did the first thing he could think of which was to bite Henry's hand to make him let go

At this point, Ms. Applegate got up off her lazy ass and came to see what was going on with the kids she was supposed to watch

She broke up the fight and told both of them to go to Principal McDingle's office. She then picked up the knife and asked "who's knife is this??" But no one wanted to say who it belonged to

While in the principal's office Fringles' dad was called and Henry's step-dad was called. Henry's face was still covered in tears and Fringles was just mad they took his dad's knife

About an hour later, Fringles' dad showed up to pick him up. When they got in the car Jax started asking him all these questions "What happened? Did you win?" And Fringles was just like "Can we please go home?"

That night while being tucked in, Fringles tells his father he's upset because the teacher took his pocket knife. "Sorry Dad, but the teacher grabbed the pocket knife you gave me" "Don't worry about it son, I can order a box of those for cheap off EBay". "Dad, I don't want to wave knives at school. I want to be a good kid and just get good grades"

"I know buddy" Jax kisses Fringles on the forehead "but sometimes you gotta stab a mothafucka. You'll get it when you're older". He turns off the light and is about to close the door

"Dad?"

"Yeah buddy?"

"What's gonna happen with Henry?"

"Well...either he's going to leave you alone now, or he won't. And you've just gotta deal with either one"

"Is his family gonna press charges?"

"I don't know why, what you did was self defense"

"Didn't feel like it"

"Well, it was. So good night. Oh by the way, technically speaking you're 'suspended' so no TV or video games for a week"

"Aww..."

"And someone wrote gullible on the ceiling"

"What?"

"Nah I'm just fucking with you! You're not actually grounded"

"Oh"

Fringles was actually suspended though, and he didn't go back to school until a week later. The day he went back, none of the other kids wanted to talk to him

"Hey, Emma!"

"Oh, hey Fringles. Thought you got expelled"

"Nope, just suspended. So you doing anything tonight?"

"Yeah, I'm hanging out at Henry's house"

"That wuss? Didn't you see him crying the other day?"

"Yeah I would've cried too, you held a knife at him"

"Forget about him, come hang out at my house instead"

"No offense Fringles, but I don't really see you that way"

"But...I'm awesome..."

"Besides, it seems like you got some issues you need to work out"

"Pfft. Whatever"

"We can still be kinda friends though. Gotta go, bye Fringles!"

"Bye"

Fringles watched as Emma ran to Henry to give him a hug and kiss him on the cheek. Henry looked right at Fringles, flipped him the bird and then walked off. "What a wuss" Fringles thought, as if he didn't get his ass kicked by him

That night while watching Everybody Loves Raymond, Fringles turned to his dad and told him what happened at school "She just completely rejected me, and now I have to see her at school everyday"

"What's funny is that this show ended in 2005, so Everybody Hates Chris can almost be seen as like a continuation in a way"

"Dad you listening to me?"

"You still all bent about Emma? You probably go to school with lots of pretty girls, what's so important about her?"

"I don't know...I just thought—"

"You thought she was gonna be wooed by your show of masculinity?"

"Well, yeah!"

"Don't be hung up over her, there's plenty of crabs in a barrel"

"...What?"

"The point is this, don't worry about her because pretty soon girls will be throwing themselves at you because of how popular you'll be. You made a stand, and in kindergarten that counts for a lot. Or is that the pen?"

"Thanks, dad"

Fringles couldn't sleep that night because he was too busy thinking about how he's going to go through the rest of the school year now that everyone thinks he's some violent asshole

The next day, Fringles sat alone at lunch, he played on the playground alone, no one wanted to partner up with him in class, it was very sad

"This sucks, I'm getting out of here" Fringles thought, fed up with life at this point. He raised his hand to use the bathroom and tried escaping out the exit doors, but he was only 5 so he didn't realize schools lock those

While fidgeting with the doors, he heard a voice behind him

"Hey, you're Fringles right?"

He quickly turned around and saw a group of what seemed to be held-back 1st graders standing behind him. "Uh...who wants to know?"

"We do"

"Who's we?"

"Us"

"Who's us?"

"We"

"You guys gonna pick on me now or something?"

"Woah, you're on edge. Is it true you held a knife to some autistic kid?"

"Uh...I hope not"

"Is he the one who gave you that big bruise?"

"Yeah"

"Why'd your dad name you Fringles?"

"I have no idea"

"Well listen, we're going to the Chinese store to get some snacks"

"The Chinese store? Yeah I know that place"

"You wanna come with us?"

"Uh, okay. Sure"

The leader of the friend group walks up to the door and opens it with a credit card, which apparently he learned somewhere. "Woah" Fringles says in amazement

"Alright, let's go. By the way, my name's Matt"

"Cool"

Matt introduces Fringles to the rest of the friend group. There's Ox, the tough one, Edge, the poorly-supervised one, Tyler, the pretty boy, and Data, the foreign exchange student.

"Data doesn't say much, he's deaf and dumb." says Matt

"That's kinda mean" says Fringles

They sneak out of school and head to the Chinese-owned corner store down the road. Matt walks in and says hi to the owner.

Fringles is looking around and just now realizes he's never been in a corner store before.

He looks and sees Ox put a bunch of Tic Tacs in his pocket.

"Why do you need so many Tic Tacs?" Asks Fringles

"Have you not heard him talk?" Replies Edge, which is a very Edge thing to say if you know  Edge

Edge then grabs some Big League Chew and some Gushers and starts filling his pockets

"Fellas, do we have enough money for all this?" Asks Fringles

"Nah it's cool dude" says Matt "My dad knows the owner, we can get whatever we want from here for free"

"Oh okay, sounds good to me"

Fringles just starts grabbing handfuls of whatever he can find and putting it in his pocket. This is not good boy behavior

"Alright guys, let's go" says Matt

When they're done, they just walk out like the little rascals they are. As soon as they leave they hear the store owner yelling in Chinese

"Why is he so mad?" Asks Fringles

"He's probably off his meds" says Tyler

"Yeah, he's probably just mad he can't get it up" Ox says and then high-fives Edge

"What does that mean?" Says Fringles

"Idk, I heard it from my dad" replied Ox

Fringles looks over and sees a bunch of older kids hanging out on the street corner smoking cigarettes. They're all wearing character hoodies and their dads probably makes six figures

"Ew, those are the 6th graders" says Matt

"Those guys are total losers. All they do is smoke and watch anime all day" says Edge, chipping in to the conversation that they are having at that specific moment

"Fringles, promise me you won't be like those kids one day" says Matt

But Fringles wasn't listening as he was mesmerized by how confident and rebellious the older kids seemed. He dreamed of being that cool one day

"So, what are we gonna do now?" Asks Fringles

"Idk, I'm pretty tired" says Matt

"Yeah I'm probably gonna go home" says Edge

Ox didn't say anything, he was too busy filling his face with candy

Data was there too

As the group started disbanding, Matt daps up Fringles because that's what cool kids do and says "You should come sit with us at lunch tomorrow"

"Yeah sure, sounds great"

Fringles then returns back to the school building where he sees his dad waiting with his teacher outside. "Where have you been, we've been worried sick!" Said or says Ms. Applegate

"Hey champ" says Jax "Don't worry Ms. Applegate, Fringles here has a little appointment with Mr. Belt when he gets home"

"Good! Fringles you should know better than to sneak out! I'll be having my eyes on you from now on, young man!"

"Yes ma'am" says Fringles, the obedient boy that he is

Jax walks Fringles back to his car and they both get in "Well, like that rotting-old bitch said, I have no choice but to punish you"

Fringles and his dad both start laughing in a hysterical fashion

"So, how was school?"

"It was pretty good, I think I'm getting the hang of it"

"Cool"

Fringles wouldn't even go to school the next 3 out of the 5 days he was supposed to be there the following week, he would just hang with Matt and his friends at the park

A few weeks later back at the apartment Fringles was watching Dragon Ball Super in his room and his dad called him down

"Yeah, Dad?" Says Fringles young and innocent as ever

Fringles looked and saw his dad looking nearly passed out on the couch in a fashion that's traumatizing to a child of Fringles' age

"Fringles? That you?"

"Yeah Dad, it's me"

"You'reee a good kiddddd Fringlessss"

"Thanks. You okay dad?"

"I'm cooollllllll"

"Are you high or something?"

"Nahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

"Oh ok phew, I thought you were"

"Flgkflffll"

"What?"

"I asked if you still talked to Emma"

"Uh no dad, I don't. She changed schools remember"

"She was the one that got away son, you shouldn't have given up so easy on her"

"Dad but you said—"

"I don't care what I said, girls like that only come once in a lifetime and you completely fumbled the bag as you kids like to say"

"But Dad, she had a boyfriend"

"You really let the fact she had a boyfriend stop you? I see it doesn't take much then"

"Whatever, Dad"

"Hey Fringles?"

"Yeah?"

"You're a becoming a real bore, man. You used to be cool"

"Uh, okay"

Jax then turned on his side and fell asleep on the couch. Fringles grabbed a conveniently placed floor blanket and covered Jax with it, showing he cares a lot about his father even though his dad takes drugs or whatever that conversation was

"Sleep tight, Dad. I'll see you tomorrow" said Fringles

END OF PART 1

[aries-tornado]

When I lived in Wisconsin I was not allowed to leave the house unaccompanied by my then fiance. Even when he'd go away for long hitches to the oil or solar fields, he'd buy a month or two worth of groceries for me, my daughter, and when we had them, our dogs.

I was not even allowed to go outside with the dogs to play with them, not even to clean up their poo. That was a job my fiance tasked to my then 4-5 year old daughter. Which, in a "normal" house hold is fine, at least I think. Especially with a parent helping and encouraging. But he was gone a lot in the winters and the ground would freeze. She'd struggle and my anxiety of having to shout to her from the cracked open door on how to make the task easier destroyed me the first time or two. Bless her, she listened so fuckjng well. But, after the second time, I told her to make a "big girl pinky promise" that I'd do it, but she had to tell "daddy" she was the one doing this task.

Any sane person would, rightfully, ask "but if your abuser was 2 states away, how would he even know if you went outside?" and it's a good question.

I was (looking back) so far into Stockholm Syndrome. My reality was so warped, and I lived not in *a* world, but his world. I felt like every neighbor was on his side, or his bank roll. Or, even though he would talk so badly of these neighbors, would calculate a way to make buddy buddy enough that if I was spotted outside, they'd feel comfortable to approach me and then text him. Like "hey, just saw your old lady doing yard work and finally introduced myself, nice gal!" And I add "finally" to that fake text scenario because, even living there 4 or 5 years, I NEVER met the left most male neighbor. My fiance would have beers with him sometimes on a weekly basis, over at his house, then come back drunk and accuse me of fucking the guy. Gun to my head, a line up to 5 men, I could not tell you who this man is. And our right most neighbor, I had seen once or twice, but only because he was an older man, who literally sold my fiance the house.

All that to say, I'd wait til midnight, 1am. I'd dress head to toe covered. Think black sweats, boots, a black hoodie, hood up and drawstrings pulled tight. I'd have to boil water, to throw on the ground, to melt the ice, to pick up the dog poop. I mean, whatever. It's not a big deal, but at the same time? Bonkers.

But whatever.

What I did in my spare time, in this jail cell of a home, is a complicated answer. But what I'm reminded of today, tonight actually, is when I was at my lowest mentally. Probably the last year, maybe 2 years. Time is a fickle bitch and it's kinda pointless to try to hammer down time frames from the past.

I taught myself how to lucid dream. And yes!! That is absolutely something you can teach yourself! It can be quite fun, and I had a LOT of time to nail it down. Before I got BAD bad, I'd have fun and fly around my childhood hometown. Visit places I remember fondly. But this isn't about those times.

Sleeping became an escape from my reality. And before anything else, let me just say YouTube and music were my biggest "awake" escapes. So when I tell you I'd dream about Pewdiepie just hanging out with me on my birthday, you can laugh. It's parasocial and weird. But who else could my subconscious conjure up?

Usually I'd go to sleep and let the dreams form on their own, and slowly take the wheel to turn it into something happy. Pewdiepie (Felix) and his now wife Marzia, were commonly good friends. Mac Miller, or someone resembling him, was a common "partner". I remember what felt like a year within my dream, of just living a "normal" life with "Mac". Having an apartment in NYC, going to the flea market together. Laying on the couch cuddling. Watching a TV show giggling, and looking up to see him not watching the show, but me, before kissing my forehead and telling me how cute I was. The funny thing was, truly, there was never any sex. Just happiness. Feeling lover.

It was lovely, and unhinged, to be able to even take an hour nap and feel transported far away. To a life where my fiance never existed. Even when my waking brain thought everything was, or would be okay...my sleeping brain knew I deserved unconditional love. And that this relationship was not okay.

Tricky thing is sometimes I'd wake up feeling better. But other times I'd wake up mad. Mad that it wasn't real. It's not like I actually expected to be wisked away by Mac Miller. Lol. I just wanted that kind of love. The life where I could walk outside with my head up, go places alone and be trusted. Not spend an hour covering up a black eye with a pound of makeup before resigning to be "that douche" that wore sunglasses inside.

But, happy or not afterwards? I miss that. Because that "superpower" of at least semi-lucid dreaming?

It's gone.

How many years has it been? 5, maybe six since I stepped foot, my daughters hand in mine, out of my exes truck, onto pavement, luggage in hand at the bus stop to "freedom".

And here I am, writing this, after a very long, no good, very bad, teeth clinching day off of work. My lucid dreams are now all nightmares. Night terrors. (Can you call it a night terror if it happens during a daytime nap? Huh..)

It felt like I had 10 long dreams today, but they all had the same tone. Me, in a situation, where I needed help. One of the dreams was about when my ex, but based on the IRL time we went to visit his brother and Mom in Las Vegas. He had herion connections there, and he bought us some. And we were both strung out of our minds for the maybe week we were there.

For clarity, I'll include this dream and my commentary of it in brackets...

[[But in this dream, I ran away in the middle of the night. Dropped like that little pin on Google Earth street view into the heart of the city. It was a mash-up of my real experience of being homeless in Albuquerque, as well. My mission was to stay "well" enough to make it to this rehab center that "I knew" would help me. Why I knew? Idk man, its a fuckin dream. I was constantly hiding in alleys, and junkie houses, only able to shoot up enough to be "okay" enough to continue running from the cops. (Now that I type this out - maybe the cops in my dream represented my ex. But who knows. I don't get too into dream interpretation). Anyway, long and frustrating situation after situation later, I made it to the rehab. I collapsed on the floor in front of what was a group session of already admitted patients. The staff helped me until they got my driver's license.

"You're 20" the nurse said to me blunty. "We only take minors, 13-19." I absolutely lost it, screaming and crying "BUT TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY, I JUST TURNED 20!! PLEASE!!! I NEED FUCKING HELP!"

The room was quiet and the other teenaged patients took up for me. Kinda saying "cmon, she's just barely 20, I'm sure you can bend the rules," etc.

I begged until I was drooling at the mouth before the nurses and doctors shook their heads in disappointment, "if only you'd have come a day sooner..."

I was kicked back to the streets, to which I knew I was a lost cause, and continued the cat and mouse chase that is homelessness & drug use.]]

Sleep used to be an escape. Peace. Sometimes just silly nonsense that dreams can be. But now, I just want to dream nothing. I wish I could train my brain to just shut the fuck up for a few minutes, a few hours, for fucks sake.

I woke up from this dream, and the many others, feeling like my world was spinning. Anxiety, clinched teeth, taking time to truly wake up and tell myself where I truly was. And this happens, a lot.

My mind is not a safe space to be. It is scary. It's a scary place to be alone in.

[justsayun]

Golden Age of Cereal

My grandsons never go grocery shopping. Since Covid, my daughter's done grocery pick-up. The boys never get the thrill of running thru the grocery store and especially the cereal aisle. We live in a world of lots of gentle parenting and no scolding in the store. You'll be looked at as a bad parent if you scream at your little one. Heck if you reach out and yank your child's hand back from grabbing that huge glass jar of Pasta Sauce you could be reported to the store manager. A guy like me with small children at the store has a 50/50 chance of being in jail by dusk. Since it was brought to my attention that my little grandsons have not really experienced the excitement of the cereal aisle especially. I called my daughter and asked if her boys ever went grocery shopping. She said "NO"! I said I would like to take them on a grocery shopping trip. Just the boys and I. Surprisingly she quickly said: "Have at it if you're that crazy." Since I was a small boy during the golden age of breakfast cereal, I thought this might be something I could share. It was not just the cereals, but prizes inside, fun reading stuff on the back. I can still picture some of the fantastic cereals of my youth. We had Quisp, Kaboom, Crazy Cow, Pink Panther Flakes, Sir Grape Fellow, Alpha-Bits & Honeycombs. Of course, we had some then that still live today like Lucky Charms, Sugar Smacks & Life. Yep, the one Mikey still likes. I remember we did have grape nuts when I was a kid but you never ate them if you were in a hurry. It took a while to down a bowl of that gravel. Thanks, Euell Gibbons for the blandest cereal of all time. I had a friend in 3rd grade who on the first day of summer vacation his mom told him he couldn't go outside til he finished his bowl of Grape Nuts. He didn't finish that bowl til after the 4th of July. I'll teach my grandsons how not just the cereal but the prize inside helped me decide which one to get. (Plus if their something super kooky on the back of the box.) There were so many great cereal prizes you could get in your cereal box. I once got a small rocket. Another time some monster stickers. Once got a small replica of Fred Flintstones' car. (That was cool.) I saw around the house recently an "Urkell for President Button" My one daughter got that years ago when she was little out of a cereal box. I think if Urkell decided to run again I might vote for him. I'm looking forward to my Breakfast Cereal Safari with the kiddos. My wife heard about this and wants to come along. I told her I need to think about her coming along first. That didn't go over really well. Hey, let's get serious. We're talking cereal.