#tiktok kids so wish they were tumblr kids damn

[pxper-cranes]

TikTok trying to create their own Goncharov without understanding the first thing about its conception and why it was effective. Istg there's always someone trying to outdo the doer

[cosmicdream222]

im literally kicking myself in the foot for not doing something more worthwhile with my existance... i never knew of manifesting until recent years and while society likes to say its never too late sometimes it feels like that is it too late cause to learn any skill you have to have already learnt the techniques then have good practice abilities on top of it, like you cant just waltz into a sport for instance and take a gold medal you have to do it step by step but to do that again im fucking regretting so much rn cant i just bash my head into a wall and slowly die? or music for instance cant just pick an instrument and be good at it right off the bat again shouldve just fucking picked something and stuck with it

also i never had the likes of tiktok or anything internet for entertainment when i was a kid so in a way it shouldve been perfect chance to really do smth but as always situations got in the way and im regretting existing a lot rn. like why so many ppl so good at their niches or whatever it is they choose to do and theres so much more available now than there was back then but i cant seem to pick a single damned thing that i could realistically do at my age and still feel accomplished bc id just end up feeling behind or regretting not doing it sooner

sorry for ranting abt myself there just if only there was time machine or a literal realistic way of shifting to another damned reality cause this aint it like why im wasting so much of it doing fck all? it should be shameful honestly but like at the same time its kind of impossible with current economy being so crappy

for instance if u want to own a business (which i would do if i could even afford one with my own money but then u got to ha e the job and the know how on running it) seriously my ancestors had so many more things that were successful in their lives and some did have businesses bc shops were affordable back then, education used to be affordable too and housing etc etc. id be more inclinced to then have a family of my own if that were the case but it is not soooooooooooooo then its like even if you want a bog standard job it can still take months just to get something basic. i once did manage to manifest a free bus ride and my teacher not coming to college for a few days but thats abt it. other than that lifes kinda average sadly its not the 1950s and elvis is still dead asf.............. not fair

the other thing that puzzles me and sorry for making this so long but if we are supposed to have had past lives a) why havent we known about it before now and b) how come some celebs dont reincarnate or do the celebs that pass away just get a free pass to heaven and decide to stay put? (in which case i wont blame them but its also not fair that i have to still exist... or fail to exist i should say)

My dude, I understand where you’re coming from and I have been where you are. But you say you wish there was a way to travel back in time or shift realities - there IS a way to shift realities, travel back in time, and live whatever kind of life you want. Seriously. That is the whole reason I created this blog!! So please read through all the information I’ve collected instead of just complaining ok? 😭

All of that stuff you mentioned about your current reality is an illusion. Time is an illusion. It does not matter what you’ve done in the past. The economy does not matter. Your present circumstances do not matter. Past lives only exist if you believe they do.

Look around tumblr at void, loa and shifting success stories. I have shared many of my favorites. People in very difficult circumstances have regularly completely change their lives overnight, wake up in new houses, shift to alternate realities, change their genders, change their ages, bring people back from the dead, to say the very least.

None of it matters because we live in the literal matrix - a VR simulation - and you can have anything you want NOW.

[laindependencialuna1899]

Like I said in my last art post in @artbyeritza, I genuinely hate Instagram and TikTok as an artist's platform/ social media. The constant churning of artwork/writing daily in posts and short-form video content will burn you out so quick it will make you feel sick. I think that's partly why there's ageism in the art community in general because who else can churn out high-quality content quick but kids and teens. You probably could if you're an adult and that's your full-time job but if you're trying to get an art commission without a platform and publicity it will stress you the fuck out.

Aside from that, here are other reasons why I don't like Instagram and Tiktok:

They always expect you to post a Reel/Video. Always. The only time I've hit virality before was when I posted my Bakunawa furry art OC in a reel and that did tremendously well but that did not translate to likes on my other art posts or follows

The comment section will tear you to shreds (mostly on TikTok) In IG, while they won't say it directly, they have snide comments too. They can be very supportive BUT THAT IS, if you even get comments.

Most importantly, both video-sharing platforms pander to their big and already established artists. And these artists had the audacity to post art and reels/videos with sad/trending music/sounds, drumming up pity parties when they're already sitting at three digits+ and above worth of followers. I hate that. What's happening is their content gets treated like any other artist out there and they sit with a huge amount of followers any small and unpopular artist can dream of and suddenly they feel oppressed (boo hoo sooo sad I cri). They're not. Small artists usually juggle A JOB and find time for their ART.

BUT WAIT, AM I ABOUT TO EXCUSE THIS HELLSITE KNOWN AS TUMBLR?!? No.

Lmao, as you can see in my main's badges I've been here for a long fucking time, partly because where else can I see cool homestuck artists but I'm sitting on 28 followers on my main blog (this blog) and my art blog @artbyeritza has only 9 followers. My Insta only has 28 followers and mainly it's because it's a new account. In both or any case, posting art of any kind on social media is not a fun experience if you're small and continue to be small despite being on the internet for so damn long. I would attribute it to Meta's broken and ever-changing, un-user-friendly algorithm and Tumblr being old and dead (the same way Gaia Online is). TikTok can make you famous but the US's red scare with the Chinese is constantly getting on my nerves and it eats up your attention span too. With both TT and Insta, they expect you to be a GREAT EDITOR AND ARTIST MASTER OF YOUR CRAFT like it's easy peasy. The dead bird, now eX app (I don't fucking know why people still use it it's good as defunct and Musk will make it worse day by day anyway) had that artists' platform potential but the art community is nasty and has faves too (surprise surprise).

In conclusion, I wish there were proper social media that boosts their artists without the need to throw cash in it (or idk, how about letting your artists be seen THEN THEY DECIDE WHETHER TO PAY FOR ADS OF THEIR ART) and just a place where artists can feel cared for, seen, appreciated and acknowledged.

[nevershootamockingbird]

[ image one: black text against white background. The words from “and” to “life” are highlighted in pale blue. The text reads “There is one thing in the world that is more bitter than death -- and that is life.”

image two: a screenshot of a tiktok comment by user @/blaineunderstudy. The comment reads “Inside my heart there’s a little kid who yearns to live down the hall from my older brother forever”  

image three: black text against white background. The date is italicized. The text reads: “Monday 11 July       Waiting for what I do not exactly know.”

image four: a screenshot of a tumblr post by user @/goretzkas-moved-deactivated2023. The post reads “going through the horrors (sunday evening)”

image five: black text against white background. The text reads “What if you are someone who does not know when something is over? What if you are the last one standing when others have left the concert, the theater, the crime-addled city, the busted love affair? What if you look for a sign and a sign doesn’t come. Or a sign comes but you miss it. What if you have to make a decision on your own and it feels like a body blow, falling back on yourself.”

image six: a screenshot of a post by @/ashstfu. The post reads “i wish there were more than 24 hours in a day and beverages were $1 and growing up didn’t hurt so much”

image seven: black text against white background. The text reads “Melancholy is the dream state of egoism: no longer any object outside oneself, no reason for hate or love, but that same fall into a languid mud, that same circling of the damned without a hell, those same reiterationsof a zeal to perish... Whereas sadness is content with a circumstantial context, melancholy requires a debauch of space, an infinite landscape in order to spread out its sullen and vaporous grace, its shapeless evil, which, fearing to recover, dreads any limit to its dissolution and its undulation. It expands-- strangest flower of self-love-- among the poisons from which it extracts its vital juices and the vigor of all its failures. Feeding on what corrupts it, melancholy hides, under its melodious name, Self-Commiseration and the Pride of Defeat.”

image eight: black text against white background. Two sections are highlighted in pale blue. The first section is from the word “but” to the word “to”, and the second is from the word “but” to the word “ago”. The text reads “You still crave lemonade, but the taste doesn’t satisfy you as much as it used to. You still crave summer, but sometimes you mean summer, five years ago.”

image nine: a screenshot of a post by user @/havingrevelations. The post reads “shaking six year old me by the shoulders YOU WERE RIGHT. YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT LOVE AND ABOUT FAIRNESS AND ABOUT SHARING IS CARING. YOU WERE RIGHT. THE ADULTS DON’T KNOW ANY MORE ABOUT TRUTH THAN YOU DO. KEEP BELIEVING IN THE FAIRIES AT THE BOTTOM OF THE GARDEN NOTHING IS “JUST THE WAY IT IS”. I AM SORRY THEY EVER CONVINCED YOU TO FEEL SHAME. YOU ARE REAL AND A PART OF THIS WORLD. YOU WERE RIGHT.”  

image ten: black text against white background. The text reads “July 5. To have to bear and to be the cause of such suffering!”

image eleven: black text against white background, underlined in red. The text reads “rip the mind out. go ahead.” 

image twelve: black text against white background, spaced out widely in chunks of two to five words. The last three sentences are highlighted in yellow. The text reads “If there are no questions, there are no answers. If there are questions, then, of course, there are answers, but the final answer makes the questions seem absurd, whereas the questions, up until then, seem more intelligent than the answers. Somebody asked Debussy how he wrote music. He said: I take all the tones there are, leave out the ones I don’t want, and use all the others. Satie said: When I was young, people told me: You’ll see when you’re fifty years old. Now I’m fifty. I’ve seen nothing.”

image thirteen: black text against white background. The word “contort” and the text from “into” and “undone” is highlighted in pale green. There is a rapier drawn beneath the text. The text reads:     “I cannot seem to contort myself back into the shape of a dutiful child.      I am coming unraveled. I am coming undone.”

image fourteen: a simple line digital drawing of a person staring out against landscape. The landscape is divided into six lines, in which text is written on each one. From closest to the person to furthest from the person, the text reads:  “Thing you have to do now Thing you have to do in 20 minutes Thing you have to do this evening Thing you have to do tomorrow Thing you have to do next week “Thing you have to do eventually”

image fifteen: a screenshot of a post by user @/sweatermuppet. The phrase from “they” to “career” is highlighted in blue. The post reads “grabbing people & shaking by the shoulders & asking DO YOU KNOW HOW TO MAKE MEANINFUL CONNECTIONS DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS LIKE TO BE REJECTED HALFWAY TO EXIST IN THE ETHER BETWEEN STRAY & EUTHANIZED BODY CAN YOU TELL ME HOW TO RETURN TO THE WARMTH OF A LOVING MOTHER DO YOU KNOW WHERE CHILDHOOD GOES WHEN I FORGET PLEASE CAN YOU TELL ME I’M NOT ALONE HALF FEATHERED & AWKWARD CAN YOU BE THE SOLACE I HAVE SPENT A DECADE SEARCHING FOR & FAILING TO ACHIEVE & they smile & tell me i should focus on a stable career”  / end id ]

i don't want to grow up i don't want to grow up i don't want to grow up

mary maclane i await the devil's coming \\ @\blaineunderstudy on tiktok \\ virgina woolf the diary of virginia woolf vol. 3: "11 july 1927" (via @hungryfictions) \\ goretzkas-moved-deactivated2023 \\ amy hempel cloudland \\ @ashstfu \\ emil cioran a short history of decay \\ alida nugent \\ @havingrevelations \\ franz kafka the diaries of franz kafka, 1914-1923: "july 5, 1914" (via @dailykafka) \\ claudia rankine the end of the alphabet: "overview is a place" (via @feral-ballad) \\ john cage lecture on nothing \\ holly black the cruel prince (via @existential-celestial) \\ liana finck horizon \\ @sweatermuppet

buy my chai latte

[moonvalecrossing]

Pokemon UNITE PSA

Hey, y’all! I’d like to start this off by saying I don’t want to make you stop playing UNITE if you are having fun. I’m not your mom and you are not 5 years old (Or maybe you are and if you’re capable of running a tumblr at 5 years old... damn kid you impressive). I just want to inform people who might not know about some stuff behind the parent company of the makers of Pokemon UNITE... Tencent. With that knowledge you can make your own informed decisions about the app.

If you read all this and agree with my warning and wish to spread the word I encourage you to reblog (or hell, even repost).

Because when the game was announced there was a ton of backlash but since the game’s finally come out I have not seen any more mention of said backlash and the game’s just being treated as the new hotness.

Tencent is a company that exists to basically own smaller companies and they have their hands in MANY different pies. Not just vidya gaems and stuff. But they’re the largest video game vendor in the world and one of the ones that make the most money. They have instant messaging systems, their own web portal, and basically own China’s music services.

They’re also connected to the People’s Republic of China. But I’ll get to that in a bit. Other controversies include:

-Ripping off the ideas and concepts of other games and making them their own. The founder and chairman has famously said that there’s nothing evil about ‘copying’. It’s been said that basically all their products are just copies of others.

-In 2015 three security testing firms removed Tencent products from their whitelist stating that, while some optimizations gave the appearance of a less exploitable product, it actually provided a greater range of options to deliver exploits. Software settings were detrimental to users protections when used. Tencent was accused of actively gaming the malware tests.

Now then, onto the connection to the People’s Republic of China (henceforth referred to as PRoC). Tencent has collaborated to produce pro PRoC propaganda games. They collaborated with one of PRoC’s major censorship departments, also called their Propaganda Department. Just this year Tencent was reported to be working with PRoC central bank to create their own digital currency. (I hate all this digital currency bullshizz personally since it just proves that the concept of money is a load of nonsense anymore but that’s neither here nor there. Old person yells at cloud and all that.)

Tencent has also shown to be very anti-free speech. Especially if its critical of PRoC. Their wechat platform was accused of blocking tiktok and other politcally sensitive content. Tencent sued Tiktok and Toutiao (an information and news content platform) for defamation and negative news that hurt its reputation. They wanted a public apology and 1 yuan (PRoC’s currency and the equivalent of $0.16 USD). They were counter sued by Toutiao for 90 Million yua for basically having a monopoly on digital media and being unfair competition.

They stopped broadcasting of Houston Rockets NBA games because their general manager was supportive of the Hong Kong Protests. Surprise, surprise. Tencent is also anti Hong Kong.

In January of this year, a class action lawsuit was filed in California against Tencent alleging user censorship and surveillance (!!!) through their WeChat app.

So if you made it this far, you now know why I will never support or play Pokemon Unite. Please, if you feel the same way reblog this post to spread the word. I’m not saying Pokemon UNITE is going to spy on your data or whatever, but its Tencent and PRoC. This game was designed mainly for consumption by the Chinese market. And they’ve not exactly been the barons of open mindedness and free speech in history...

[tcthetouch]

@mapleviewstarters​

𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚌𝚊𝚟𝚎𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚛, 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚘𝚗 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚒𝚝𝚌𝚑, 𝚜𝚊𝚜𝚑𝚊𝚢 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚘𝚊𝚛𝚍𝚠𝚊𝚕𝚔 – 𝚜𝚌𝚞𝚛𝚛𝚢 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚒𝚝𝚌𝚑 ... 𝚌𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚒𝚊𝚖𝚘𝚗𝚍 𝚍𝚘𝚐𝚜 .

『 nicole kidman. forty-eight. cis woman. she/her. 』 oh heavens, is that CORA WHITWORTH from FAIR LANE i see roaming around mapleview? minnie may’s always calling them -DECEITFUL & -MATERIALISTIC. i happen to think they’re not that bad! they’re a pretty cool FORMER MADAM, CURRENT... “ACCOUNTANT” and every time i’ve seen them, they’ve always been +NURTURING & +RESOURCEFUL. i hope i see them around again! 『 may. 21.est. she/her. 』

did her parents name her after cora taylor ? no, kae and i just decided they’re dumb enough to name all their kids ‘c’ names. did i, trying to come up with ‘c’ names, name her after cora taylor ? yes.

background

triggers: prostitution (anything triggering that often goes with it is either very very skimmed over or not mentioned at all), pimping, possessiveness (is that the right word to use)/implied abuse?, drugs/briefly mentioned accidental fatal overdose (but if it makes it better the dude sucked)

honestly ? the triggers may imply there were worse things that happened in cora’s life, but... no. the worst thing that happened in her life was being born to the whitworths. not because they were like... jerks. but because they named everyone ‘c’ names. THAT’S THE REAL TRAGEDY IN THIS STORY.

Also. The first half of this intro is :\ a downer :\ but the second half is * thumbs up emoji * * money emoji * like the tone change is AMAZING.

Anyway, on the topic of the Whitworths, they weren’t bad parents! But they also weren’t stupendous parents! They were just largely… not around. So where Clara filled the love she wished to get with… flowers, Cora was like “I will try to fill mine with validation from external forces and… I don’t know, maybe adventure? Probably not.

Also scorpio sun, taurus moon bc astrology?? Ugh we luv it.

So she was decent. But she was bored. She wanted to do something interesting, not just mope around in their small town with the very few subcultures they had.

When she was 18, she decided that the small town life was simply Not For Her. much like my boy stephen crane, she wanted to actually study humanity. She packed up, of all places she could’ve “studied humanity,” she chose Washington, D.C.

But… you see… when you don’t have funds, a consistent source of income, or… really anymore than $20… you’re gonna study humanity SO WELL. Like, she was so set up to really study and experience humanity!

Let it be known… her parents obviously weren’t awful enough to be like “yes, go stay with questionable figures! you reap what you sow!” - no, they just… forgot!

A few people who she did not know offered a couch for the night. It was through various experiences among these folks, along with some general strange advice, that Cora realized she could enter a silently booming industry: sex work. The people she stayed with were usually very familiar with where the nearest red light districts were, some familiar with how to best tell undercover cops from regular johns. So she took this into serious consideration. She was still young – it seemed like a viable option, right? Easy money! 

Turns out… it wasn’t! There are some strange people out there, aren’t there?

However, it did temporarily provide enough funds for Cora to rent a dingy little apartment. Until this one night when a man brought her back – but instead of proposing sex, as was obviously expected, he proposed a different idea: she join his ‘club.’ There’d be more protection, the pay would be even more lucrative, she’d have somewhere better to live within a matter of months… so, god, dear god, it didn’t take much thought for her to take him up on the offer.

Of course, he was a pimp. So… you know, things weren’t actually much better, but the clientele were richer! He didn’t lie about that part! 

After around a year of captivity being pimped, this man took further interest in her as she became one of the more popular choices amongst his girls. He simply couldn’t let the star only be had by rich clientele! Yes, he slept with plenty of his girls, but she became favored as he began treating her as more of a girlfriend (with a creepy age different) who… you know, he still pimped out!

Being ‘closer’ to him was both advantageous and detrimental. Advantageous in that she witnessed more of the business side and various clients were rejected, detrimental in that… having to spend so much time with him, he introduced her to a world that was even worse. In spite of where she’d been for so many years by that point, she never really thought of drugs or gambling or anything else the underbelly provided other than sex work. But he introduced her to that side.

I’ll go easy on this, but… drugs. Period.

After another year of what seemed like something inescapable, now made worse, the best possible thing happened: he overdosed. 

Y’all, we’re mostly out of the downer part of the intro!

With the money she’d gained being one of his stars, as well as that extra money he offered to keep her near, she knew what she had to do. Like… after a while, but we can skip that probably three-month-long gap: start her own brothel!

Using the money she’d received, she rented out a cheap empty building in one of the cheap red light districts. As far as most were concerned, what was once a bar was being converted into a nightclub. Which was, of course, a lie. A good front.

On the verge of bankruptcy by the time it was ready, she was most certainly desperate! But, lucky for her, one of the girls from her old pimp’s bordello followed her in. Soon enough, word spread amongst the community she’d once been so distant from – soon enough, her “nightclub” was filling up.

She would always have to pay thanks to the dead pimp, in a way. Had it not been for him and for how possessive he’d become, she wouldn’t have had a single clue on how to actually run it. And while she was still rocky at first, she gradually became better and better until she was on equal footing with other madams or pimps and was able to gauge clientele just as well.

In addition, had it not been for him, she wouldn’t have realized what was missing! Condoms were provided and deemed a necessity (although, to be fair, it wasn’t as though she knew everything that happened behind doors), the rooms that existed within the “nightclub” were listened to as well as possible to prevent violence (but rooms in other places? hotels, houses? nothing could be ensured, only hoped for - and hoped to be reported if anything happened so the client could be turned away), etc., etc. Ultimately, her girls were more her surrogate daughters – no matter how close or distant in age – than her paychecks.

But lmao she still took a hefty cut of their pay – a whole-ass 55% – less than what her pimp took, but still a LOT for performing no actions. And ss the brothel became more and more popular, that was SO DAMN MUCH. Just per WEEK, really!!

Everything was going so well!! For ten years, the brothel ran with minimal police interference. There were attempts at take-downs, but the brothel began to work like a well-oiled machine – true proof became rather difficult to find.

Until it wasn’t. Until they were clearly closing in. Until Cora was barely getting out by the skin of her teeth. If she and her girls were arrested… not only would they go to jail and all, but all of that money and all of that time? Wasted.

So she handed the keys over to the first girl who would take them – luckily, the girl she would never tell the others was the star (but… the others knew). Her official excuse? She was returning to North Carolina due to a family emergency (one that didn’t exist). If she just randomly fled, she’d certainly be guilty!

Catching word that Clara had wound up in Mapleview, Cora decided to lie low in the small town herself. 

And yes, I made the TikTok meme real. Yes, she’s an “accountant.”

Only not really, she doesn’t use OnlyFans. Whenever she’s “commuting” to that place accountants work… she’s in some one town or another in the mountains, scouting talent. will there be a “nightclub” in mapleview soon?? actually probably not bc it’s so small. but one nearby?? YES!! 

Old habits die hard! 

But May, she may’ve been able to live off of the madam money for a few years, but it must’ve run out by now?

You’re right! I’m currently doing more research into this, but some years ago, she bought out and now owns a nightclub in Asheville!

But May, isn’t that a little far away to be there everyday? And what about her plans? And why would she still have to say she’s an accountant if being a nightclub owner isn’t taboo?

She has hired a manager she trusts greatly and goes down there to oversee things in person perhaps only twice a week! The manager reports to her!

The manager also knows of her plans and aids her in scouting talent! And she does have dirt on the manager as a backup!

And, considering what the club will be turned into, it’s best to keep it mum!

Honestly there are some other things I want to say, but I just remembered Tumblr’s read-more feature broke :)

tl;dr 

(consult trigger list! much lighter in this portion but jic!) born to whitworths who weren’t awful parents but also weren’t stupendous parents i think they just sometimes forgot they were parents! decided to pull a stephen crane and go “study humanity” instead of like… go to college or enter the workforce… wound up in d.c. without much money. ppl in the sus districts were like “omg stay with me! s2g nthn creepy j offering a hand!” which was mostly true! some were like “sex work is lucrative.” she was like “omg ur right.” a young cora became a streetwalker. around 21, one of the johns was like “hi im not actually a john im a pimp do u want to be pimped it’s really cool.” and she was like “omg ya.” but he was pinocchio :\ that being said i feel like i shld mention that while this particular sex work wasn’t necessarily clean, guy at least made testing a thing. some years pass and he’s like “ur great im gonna act like ur my gf and that i’m the only person in ur world but also u still have to sleep w these guys bc i do love money.” good thing about that was that she overheard some of the business talk. bad thing was that he sucked and also liked even seedier things. some years go by and seedier things kill him tho! now catch cora, late 20s or early 30s idk, being like “well with this money… oh wow i have an idea.” was like “gonna convert this cheap empty place into a brothel i mean nightclub.” was almost broke after that but one of the pimp’s girls was like “wait i’ll come along!” soon had a lot of ppl. soon became successful and was actually as humane as a brothel cld be!! evaded the police narrowly, but evaded them. they started rly closing in at one point tho so she was like “oh no family emergency in nc here my best girl i mean u, girl, u r now in charge idk how that works my pimp just died.” went to mapleview. is an “accountant” and by “accountant” i mean that tiktok meme only more extreme bc she’s being a talent scout. old habits… die hard…

personality/misc.

if this bitch ain’t able 2 make her own way,,,, idk who is. (after moving to dc bc u kno financial status in boone wasnt awful or anything) real rags to riches story. benjamin franklin wld be so proud. she found the way to wealth.

probs sleeps on silk sheets covered in rose petals??

tbh tho?? absolute contradiction. manages 2 care a lot and also not care at all. rly depends on where the person stands. rly depends on the relatability. wld probs be a good mom but has no plans of becoming one!!!!!!!! too busy being an accountant!!!!!!

what,, is trust?? what,, is love?? (baby don’t hurt me)

i’m flying by the seat of my pants rn i suddenly got v distracted but!! maybe more will be added when tumblr FIXES ITS DAMN SELF.

connection ideas:

well we got the rest of her siblings over on the npc page and honestly w how different it seems clara and cora turned out,,,, wld be so curious 2 learn wtf everyone else is doing. r they being normal or r they also wilding??? j in different ways??? (0/2)

i’m hesitant to say someone she’s a parental figure to bc honestly,,, those exhaust me sometimes ahfdslk,,, but!! u kno what someone she’s ironically a good influence on (0/2?)

she got a mostly friendly front but bitch!! someone she’s a bad influence on!! (0/2)

some current or past flings (any gender, but keeping age in mind, past wld be like 43+ pls,,,current like 40+?) (0/?)

if anyone lived in boone, some old friends from boone (0/?)

if anyone lived in dc, some ppl she knew in dc (0/?)

also always up for brainstorming or j working off of chemistry!!

feel free to like this or hmu if you’d like to plot !

[life-in-the-monster-haus]

The above person you was wrong. He never once made excuses for his parents behavior, he was just forced to listen to them because he’s a minor. & you are also wrong.

Gil was A LITTLE weird about her culture, He was afraid of the Ocean & Sea Monsters but that tends to happen when you’re 16 & raised by bigots. But he apologized for his off color statements immediately after, got over his personal bias and saved everyone by the end of Skull Shores. But he has repeatedly stated that he likes Lagoona exactly as she is. I also think you’re confusing Great Scarrier Reef with Skull Shoes because by GSR he has already met her family and was cool with them because of the events of Skull Shores.

And in 13 Wishes you are taking him out of context and making it sounds like he delights in telling Lagoona bad news. he doesn’t just remind her of this out of nowhere he’s informing her his parents don’t want him to see her & she brings it up later in the movie. Lagoona DID NOT make the decision to change her species, Neither did Gil. HOWLEEN made that wish in a misguided attempt to help Lagoona. Gil himself did not enjoy this change: look at his face! He was visibly uncomfortable with her change the whole movie & when she returned to normal he stressed to her that he loves her as she is! He’s said this to her several times during the series run.

He never defended her? Do you actually watch the cartoon / movies or are you just repeating stuff people on TikTok told you? Because he defended Lagoona to his parents not once but TWICE. Once over the phone at the end of volume 2 and again to their faces in Volume 3 there was an entire episode about it called “defending your Lagoona”

Lagoona does deserve better. But NONE OF THE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO HER ARE GIL’s FAULT! He’s not a dick wad. He’s an excellent boyfriend. He threw her a parade ones because she felt a little bit sad AND went toe to toe with his racist parents telling them they were wrong on multiple occasions…. Like…. What more do you want from the kid!? I don’t really know what you expect him to do about his parents racism when he’s a minor living under their roof and they pay for everything of his like he’s lucky they didn’t throw him out or beat his ass after he told them off twice but they DID send him to an underwater boarding school after the first time he told them off. But he came back stronger with more love for Lagoona.

I get it, as a black person I know it sucks seeing racism everywhere & you have my sympathy. I myself am Hispanic & I was disowned by my racist father for dating a black man (my now fiancé) but I’ll be DAMNED if I’m going down for my fathers racism or told I’m a shitty partner because of some shit my parents did. I can’t control what they do, only what I do. The same goes for Gil. Except that Gil is actually worse off than I am because I’m an adult & my father disowning me didn’t hurt me, but Gil is still a minor he’s 16 and he hast to follow his parents rules.

TL;DR: nothing you have said, is supported by canon. So either you aren’t familiar with the material OR you haven’t seen it in like 10 years OR your misremembering facts about the story OR you’re taking Gil out of context on purpose because it’s cool to hate on him for some reason.

But I know Monster High canon like the back of my hand, I wrote a media analysis, studying Gill and Lagoona’s relationship, citing my sources, including pictures & linking important information. you can read it here: . It’s long but all of the information is correct & supported by canon. unlike your claims. I would expect someone with the username "monsterhighlovurr" to know canon as well as I do, but I guess not... I also can't help but notice that this is the only post in your blog! so either you are brand new to tumblr OR you made this account specifically to talk shit about Gil without the fear of looking stupid based on your pathetic grasp of canon. Which... I don't even know what to do with that info... there's no shame in being wrong. a simple "Sorry, you're right, I misremembered the source material" isn't that hard to do.

Gil is back babeeeee!!!! Oh and he’s so handsome!!!

They seem to of swapped out his water tank for a device that he wears over his gills.

[alixx0608]

Let’s talk about every one’s childhood crush, Rodrick Heffley. When the first Diary Of A Wimpy Kid movie came out, I was 8, but couldn’t see it in theaters. Then, the next year, the second one was released and I could see Rodrick in the TV spots and had a crush on him without really knowing who he was, just that he was a hot jerk. Yet again, couldn’t see it in theaters. The third one never came out in Quebec, so I was aware of the existence of only the first one and Rodrick Rules.

Between 2011 and 2017, I almost forgot about our god Rodrick, until the NotMyRodrick crisis happened. Until then, I forgot about The Long Haul (I wish I could forget it for the rest of my life).

Then recently, when the trilogy was available on Disney+ (they were available way before they were in the US), I remembered my crush on Rodrick and I’m at the state I am today, spending my time on TikTok and Tumblr to find every Rodrick content I can find. I didn’t say I wasn’t happy with this state of life, at least, I have Rodrick content.

Embarrassing fact: when I was 9, like every kid, I had a “boyfriend” who was just a boy friend that you hold hands with, and we decided to write the names of our futur kids (I hate kids today), and on the paper, I wrote Rodrick because of the TV spots that I was seeing. And yes, I’m still friends with that guy, and no, I don’t want to make him remember this list.

Damn, I have more inspiration for writing a post about my crush on Rodrick than writing an essay for school.

[innocent-until-proven-geeky]

for the character thing; cody, obi wan, and ur oc pova (is that how you spell it?)

YEAHYEAHYEAH (also that is how you spell it) I see we’re doing the whole family and I LOVE it.

I was in the middle of answering this and then I went to find my favorite episodes and Tumblr ate whatever I was working on sooooo I start over.

Cody

Why I like them: Sass. Fandom’s interpretation as Ultimate Big Brother (behind Alpha-17, of course). Mysterious scar. And he’s pretty.

Why I don’t: Honestly? The fact that the clones are slave soldiers, and the fact that fandom tends to give racially biased interpretations of the clones (I’m guilty of this too). Nothing to do with Cody himself, honestly, which isn’t to say he’s perfect or anything, I find him to be rough around the edges but who wouldn’t be in his shoes?

Favorite episode: s1e16 The Hidden Enemy. This one is probably on my top 5 list even without Cody. But guys. GUYS. “Hey there, Slick. Gun’s empty.” WHAT COULD BE MORE ICONIC?

Favorite film: Okay technically these questions were “episode/scene if a movie” and “season/movie” but because he’s in both I’m gonna have to go with a film for this one. Revenge of the Sith. Listen, I can’t watch ROTS without crying but damn if I don’t love Cody in it anyway. The lightsaber scene will ALWAYS get me. (Season 1 gets an honorable mention.)

Favorite line: Uh. Well. Okay so. “Hey there, Slick. Gun’s empty.” *holds up mag* LISTEN GUYS I LOVE THAT ONE. Although he also gets points for “I’m putting you in charge of this one.” I don’t know if season 1 just has a lot of iconic Cody lines, or if it’s because I’ve been watching that season in Spanish lately.

Favorite outfit: ... his armor? No actually though, I love his Phase II armor. Phase I is cool but Phase II has the cool ventilators. And how can I not make fun of his antenna?

OTP: Codywan. Ideally in a post-war fix-it or semi-fix-it where there isn’t a huge power imbalance, but I’ve been known to read Codywan stuff that takes place during the war, especially before I was as cognizant of the power imbalance as I am now.

BroTP: Cody and Rex. I’m sure y’all saw that one coming. I mean it’s CODY and REX, I’m pretty sure that’s everyone’s BroTP!

Headcanon: So this might be a good time to mention that I headcanon everyone everywhere as autistic. Everyone is autistic. Cody is autistic. Okay actually though, I headcanon that Cody has a great deal of anxiety. He handles it well, and he has a support system, but given his entire life, and the fact that he’s a Marshal Commander, and further more the headcanon we collectively have that Obi-Wan insists on promoting Cody to get out of paperwork because Cody deserves it, he’s probably anxious. And man, same.

Unpopular opinion: Do I have one? Tbh I don’t know how to determine whether an opinion about a character is unpopular. How do we define unpopular? Do we mean just like, not commonly known or shared? Because if so, I once again raise for your consideration: everyone is autistic, therefore Cody is autistic.

A wish: For Disney to retcon Order 66. Barring that, for the Bad Batch show to give him a happy ending involving the removal of his chip and the opportunity to live happily ever after with Obi-Wan on Tatooine. (Is the Bad Batch show going to be live-action like Kenobi? Because PLEASE give me Temuera Morrison playing Cody in both.)

An oh-gosh-please-don’t-ever-happen: Don’t laugh. Order 66. Listen I KNOW it’s canon but that doesn’t mean I have to like it!

5 words to best describe them: Salty. Snarky. Protective. Competent. Thoughtful.

My nickname for them: honestly, just Codes or Kote. Not much to get out of Cody, really.

Obi-Wan:

Why I like them: HE’S PRETTY. And sassy. There’s a pattern here.

Why I don’t: I don’t think there’s ever a time in canon that he acknowledges all the issues with the clones’ existence. He does in fanon, which I can appreciate, but canonically he’s like, “ah yes, we bought 3.2 million humans. We’ll just stick them in this war I guess.” Also frankly he’s a bit oblivious, bordering on daft, especially considering he’s the Negotiator, I mean he KEPT HIS LAST NAME when he went into hiding. I still love him though.

Favorite scene: That deleted “good girl, Boga” scene, which just hits different when you’ve read Master & Apprentice and know how much he loves varactyls. I don’t care that it’s deleted. It’s my favorite. (Plus you’ll probably like this better than my favorite episode, which is the Kadavo episode.)

Favorite film: Attack of the Clones. Listen listen listen, he has a lot of good moments in TCW, but hands down it’s AOTC.

Favorite line: Eheheheheheh. Eheheheheheheh. Eheheheheheheheheheheheheheheh. “Hello there!”

Favorite outfit: Was gonna make a comment about Jedi robes but then I remembered his stolen Mandalorian armor in The Lawless and *swoons* that’s one pretty outfit.

OTP: ... also Codywan. Again, ideally in an AU with less of a power imbalance, I mean it doesn’t matter how much he promotes Cody, canonically he’s still a Jedi and Cody is still a slave and I just don’t love that but I live for Codywan. Domestic Codywan? *chef’s kiss*

BroTP: probably Obi-Wan and Anakin. Maybe Obi and Padm��? Idk I have Thoughts about Anakin, he’s a problem child, but not much can top the agony in “You were my brother, Anakin! I loved you!” (I like whump, okay?) Also just. Can you imagine the Negotiator just being buds with Senator Amidala? Helping each other with domestic disputes and speeches? Working on a Clone Rights Bill? Yeah. Can it be a broT3? What if we just don’t have Anakin and Padmé dating? It’s such an unhealthy relationship. That’s it, broT3 is Anakin, Padmé, and Obi-Wan.

Headcanon: ACE!OBI ACE!OBI ACE!OBI!!!!!! Also,,, autistic!Obi. I know I know, but actually genuinely @fromryloth-tocorellia has some pretty good autistic!Obi-Wan stuff, including Obi-Wan being semi-verbal, low-verbal, and non-verbal. Autistic characters is a hill I will die on, and Obi-Wan is a character I happen to enjoy projecting on (oops). Plus, if I headcanon Cody and Obi-Wan as autistic, then the entire Ibonek family is autistic, and I love that.

Unpopular opinion: The only reason Obi-Wan “left Anakin to die” was because there was nothing he could safely do to help. When I was taking first aid classes, one of the first things they told us was that, unless there is no danger to yourself, you do not help. You wait for actual first responders to show up. If Obi-Wan had tried to help Anakin, either Anakin would have killed him or Obi-Wan would also have been severely burned. And if he had stayed, he may have been caught by Palpatine. Is it sad that he left? Absolutely. Heartbreaking. I don’t think it was a GOOD decision. But he didn’t just leave him to die; there was no other safe option. There were no good decisions here. I have a lot of thoughts about this, I have half-written essays on Discord about it, feel free to ask further questions.

A wish: For Qui-Gon’s dying words to be retconned. I know I wrote that post about how his dying words were full of trust in Obi-Wan and I stand by that, but that doesn’t mean Obi-Wan realized that, or that they were a good choice.

An oh-gosh-please-don’t-ever-happen: For the Kenobi show to be sad. It’s not allowed. Obi-Wan can have one fight, and that’s it, he is happy as a clam on Tatooine because he DESERVES GOODNESS DAMNIT.

5 words to best describe them: Kind. Soft. Warm. Compassionate. Daft.

My nickname for them: Obi

Pova:

What I like about them: They’re my OC and I can do whatever I want with them!

What I don’t: They’re my OC and I’m in charge of them.

(Okay actually though:)

What I like about them: Nonverbal. Pink. Perpetually grumpy.

What I don’t: perpetually grumpy. Seriously how did that happen? Why did I do that? Why is the only time they AREN’T grumpy around Rex or when shopping with Obi-Wan?

Favorite scene: The adoption scene in “Observations on the Nature of Cody Ibonek”.

Favorite work: Probably “Observations”. It’s the first one that’s entirely from Pova’s point of view.

Favorite line: “He was making fun of my stimming. I was already having a bad day. I punched him. It’s whatever.” POVA NO. (Pova yes.)

Favorite outfit: Uh. Haven’t given it much thought yet? Haven’t done many character designs, although fromryloth-tocorellia did one for me and it’s my icon at @ver-writes-things if you want to check that out? Also my Halloween costume is gonna be a super basic cosplay of them and I’ll probably post that.

OTP: None. First of all, the oldest I’ve written them so far is 14. Second, I don’t have any other characters their age yet. Maybe the six kids from the Gathering episode survived? But even then I probably wouldn’t ship it. And I mean, not every character needs a romantic ship.

BroTP: Either Pova and Rex or Pova and Luke. Rex is like big brother/cool uncle, and Luke is like little brother. As of right now, though, definitely Rex, as I haven’t written much of anything with Luke.

Headcanon: I don’t have any because all my headcanons about this character are CANON! Man I love having OCs.

Unpopular opinion: to quote Paige Layle on TikTok: “Stop using the term low functioning autistics when you really mean that they’re just nonverbal. And nonverbal autistics still have a lot to say, they just have a hard time talking.” Basically, I’m certain that as this AU gains traction, Pova’s gonna start getting flak from readers for being nonverbal. It hasn’t happened yet, and maybe I’m just being pessimistic, but just in case someone needs the reminder: No. Stop now. Pova’s autistic. And nonverbal. And not a savant (man I fucking hate that trope). But they are a capable Jedi and, with Cody and Obi, developed a very functional sign language comprised of Jedi hand signals, trade sign language (like from episode 5 of the Mandalorian, that the Tuskens use?), and ARC signals. There will be NO functioning labels on this AU, and Pova has and will continue to have PLENTY to say. If you have a problem you know where the door is.

A wish: For everyone to love my kiddo as much as I do!

An oh-gosh-please-don’t-ever-happen: Listen Pova is gonna have a good and happy life. There is trauma and there is bullying and there is heartache but they are going to live a good life with two AMAZING dads. So there is no “don’t ever happen” because it won’t.

5 words to best describe them: Sneaky. Quiet. Excitable. Compassionate. Snarky.

My nickname for them: Kiddo or my kiddo.

[blasphemie]

you know, @bumkeyz​, i think it’s very nasty for you to say i have some kind of privilege in all of this. we don’t get to pick and choose who was affected by addy and her actions. just because you see the shit that we posted on tumblr, does not mean you have the full story. and i’m gonna be honest... fuck you and the anon in my inbox for making me feel like i MUST talk about my own trauma because if i didn’t, i was staying silent for her.

when i say my brain couldn’t handle this, it’s because of outside factors that i won’t get into and the fact i had the stark realization that i was in fact manipulated by addy. it’s been hard to come to terms with and all i wanted to do with that ask was highlight that i did not stand by her. but fine, you want the long post of it all, so here ya go.

here’s my story. my side of things. read if you want, or don’t.

tw : manipulation , guilt tripping .

i’m not going to pretend like i remember when addy and i met. all i remember is something was happening in the rpc and i was involved in some discourse and she came into my ims offering support. i was very leery of her at this point, as she had just come back from her stay with rpslayed. tumblr won’t let me reopen those ims now she’s deleted that old blog, but i know that i did reply. it went from that discourse, to the one she was having with B, someone that took advantage of her. and again, i have morals to uphold, so of course i went off about it. through all of this, i started to believe she had changed - which was a large lapse in my own judgement at the time, but we became friends. i wish i hadn’t NOW, but that’s not something i can change now.

i have a terrible memory as i’ve stated, so again, i’m not going to be able to give dates on this one either, but you know how there was an asterisked name in certain posts of her’s? yeah that was my name right up until her current boyfriend. me and addy had this... thing going. more of like a back and forth, will they won’t they. i wish it was as poetic as some wattpad fic because that’s where i begin to realize i was manipulated. the biggest thing i can remember is the whole situation concerning my best friend, who is also my ex-boyfriend. something that was truly one sided occurred between them and soon it was such a big thing that me and him were friends. one time, she did not even talk to me for days and would only add like an emphasis or thumbs down to my imessage texts ( idk what they’re called but you get me ) . i was constantly made to feel bad that my ex was my best friend, i remember once she found out we wanted to make a rp together and was all “im going back to bed”. i once made a post that said “you know it’s real if i send you tiktoks” and tagged him in it and that again, led to her ghosting me because she didn’t feel important enough to me or whatever.

i remember there was this time we didn’t talk for a certain amount of time, so i blocked her thinking we weren’t friends. and then i get this over cashapp.

i won’t lie. addy has given me money. she gave me money when i really needed it and i think that’s why i didn’t want to speak against her. because i didn’t want her to think i had just been using her for money because i know at one point that is what she thought of me. but anyway, at this point, i’m like oh so we ARE friends ? and i’ve just been thrown back and forth so much with her that it was normal to me at this point. so we reconnected. i think the guilt over accepting money from someone kept me by her side and kept me standing up for her.

people who know me know i’m not an active replier sometimes. i sometimes disappear for days at a time and come back. that’s just who i am. addy didn’t like this. i remember once she was mad at me because i posted a screenshot of something my friend said and again, i was ghosted. this is how even part of that went.

the entire thing is that i respect people’s boundaries. but this stemmed from a place of pettiness. this was the aftermath of that btw once i was softblocked.

things like this also occurred.

it felt like i was being PUNISHED for not replying. when i don’t reply, it’s not because i want to make someone not feel as if they’re not important to me, which is something she tried to say me posting a screenshot of someone else was me saying.

on the subject of the sexual jokes / allegations from other people : i had NO idea then that they were being made to everyone, especially minors. i thought it was something that was exclusive to people she liked. it became clear to me that she did make those jokes to everyone, but never, EVER to minors. please do not say i stand with someone whose said that shit to kids, because i would never. i’ve been at the receiving end of those and some were consensual, but not all, but i do digress.

ya know, i was always was to be blame for a failed almost relationship because don’t get me wrong, i did like addy. but i’ll also be the first to admit i am a VERY closed off person, but i still flirt with people a lot. but it was always pointed out to me that it was very clearly my fault, no matter if i apologized. it was always my fault. i always hurt her feelings ( to the point she would delete my number and contact entirely ) . it was just always, ALWAYS salt’s fault, she never let me forget that. i remember indirects were made about me such as this.

btw this right here, was made BEFORE the “who gonna tell me” post, which she ended up deleting and then posting those.

i remember even when i would TRY with her by saying hmu if you want to watch a movie, she would reply with “go ask [ex bf]” or when i reconnected with an flame she would say “whatever go flirt with [name]”. go do this, go do that. 

but the kicker? she would always come back and act like nothing happened. and i would always be in such a state of whiplash with this. she would flirt with me again and i would flirt back because that’s what i was used to.

when she got in her newest relationship, it all kind of came to a close, except if i made a joke about it all, she would say i hurt her feelings and lash out about it all. i was STILL made to feel bad about it even when she was in a relationship.

i think at the end of the day, i should and WILL take full accountability for even becoming friends with her in the first place due to her past. i could’ve easily stopped all of this happening to me if i had not made that ONE decision. at the end of the day, i was still manipulated, i was still made to feel like trash over a failed relationship, and i let it happen because i had feelings for her AND she had helped me out when i most needed it. but i’ll be dammed if i let someone say i had a PRIVILEGE in this situation when i felt like i had to stay friends with her because of the money or because she would say some shit about me if i tried to not be friends with her. and while there is so much more i could pull up and show y’all, i do not feel like going through all of that. just know this pattern is what i experienced for upwards of a year or so.

you can believe what you want or feel how you want about me. it doesn’t change a damn thing that happened to me and i’m so, SO tired of being silent.

- salt.

[friendofhayley]

ship history meme

Embrace your past and get to know your friends’ fandom origins!

Rules: Post gifs of your fandoms / ships starting with your most current hyperfixation and work backwards. (Bonus points if you share any stories about how or when you got into that ship! But not necessary!!) Then tag anyone whose fandom history you’d like to learn about!

Tagged by the most gorgeous, smartest, sweetest, and kindest person in my life @sightetsound​ <3 Sorry y’all, I have a lot of hyperfixations and I’m on NyQuil!

1. Katsuki Bakugo and Eijiro Kirishima, My Hero Academia - I literally can’t watch Season 4 until it’s finished because my heart will Explode if I’m left on a cliffhanger involving these too!!! (Unbreakable T.T <3) I don’t usually like animes but I fell in love with his trash bastard and his soft rock boyfriend by the villain’s attack in S1. It all started when I got a TikTok because a Very Hot Bakugo cosplayer was on there. (Literally, their rendition of Bakugo is just, umph. They have appeared in my dream.). As she got more popular he started cosplaying more of Class 1-A of MHA, and I kept wondering?? What the fuck is this anime about?? Why is there an alien girl?? I soon gave in and watched the show to gain context to this thirst trap. I have so many feels for these boys, even though I don’t post on them much here, and T.T

2. Alec Lightwood and Magnus Bane, Shadowhunters - I literally almost wrote my thesis because of this ship. I got into Shadowhunters because I was depressed in a foreign, racist country where I couldn’t go outside alone because old white men would corner me on the street, and everyone was talking about how Mike from Glee was kissing a guy at a wedding? Instead of partying during my study abroad trip, I gobbled down Malec content. And like who wouldn’t?? Harry Shum Jr. was playing a bisexual warlock?? And he had lines and a main character role??? An interracial couple where the characters are both POC?? Sign me up! But then I quickly fell in love with awkward gayby Alec and immediately knew how it felt to be in his shoes. (Disclaimer: I still haven’t finished the show because I don’t want their story to end, but just seeing their wedding scene????? Tears!!!!!!!!!! Both wedding scenes! I-) I just love how soft they look at each as they realize how lucky they are to be able to fall in love against the odds. T.T They deserve the world and all the warlock and shadowhunter babies and T.T This is just going to devolve into me crying so-

3. Stiles Stilinski and Derek Hale, Teen Wolf - I got into Teen Wolf to escape the hellfire that had become the Glee fandom around S3-S4. (Tbh it might have been Dereklei’s constant Sterek content on my dash that led me to give in.) Stiles was bi (through subtext) and definitely turned on by an older werewolf. What more could a depressed Gleek ask for? And listen - now looking back, Sterek is definitely gay Twilight - if Bella was snarkier, had a mental illness, and also a personality. Sterek was the ship to get me back into writing fanfiction and where I could read paranormal characters working through PTSD, ADHD, and other mental illnesses while fighting monsters and having unrealistic sex! I also love those future fics where Beacon Hills isn’t a Hellmouth anymore, and everyone’s alive and just living as one big found family. Truly, Derek deserves the world and I love him so much, and Stiles definitely agrees.

4. Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles, One Direction - If it’s a surprise that I’m a dark larrie, please read my bio. HL made me believe that love is real and exists and can last for years. I got into One Direction in 2011 through a Lilo fanfic, but as soon as I watched the Video Diaries,,,we knew. Louis has saved my life in ways I can’t describe and the songs that they’ve written for each other through their tough times are so inspiring to listen and dance to. Seeing how they’ve been dragged apart by management, Sony Entertainment, and the whole music industry as a whole even though they exist in glass closets is very disheartening to see. But their resilience that they show through their art (Only the Brave, Sweet Creature, If I Could Fly, and like so many others) is always there. If you want to fall in this rabbit hole, look at freddieismyqueen on YT and come inside lol. Larry is real.

5. Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson, Glee - the ship that got me on Tumblr! I didn’t start watching Glee until the summer before S2 came out. My whole choir was into it and I didn’t want to be “mainstream”, but Kurt was the first openly gay teen character that I saw on TV. When I heard a character played by Darren Criss, a musical theater YT legend from AVPM, I had to watch it. I ended up binging the first season with those Netflix DVDs during summer break (yeah remember when Netflix wasn’t streaming? lol). I watched every episode of that god-forsaken show the night of (or night after illegally, hidden from my parents) for that ship, and then me and my best friend would rant about it for the whole week: rinse and repeat. The episode they got together made me scream and I definitely put those Glee Rewind songs in my iPhone. (Fun fact: I used to cry at night because I wished someone like Kurt could love me like that because I heavily related to Blaine and his whole situation). I naturally stopped watching Glee the moment they broke them up and I’m still mad at their hasty attempt to marry them out of nowhere with no well-written getting together / make-up arc other than Jigsaw?? and a barn wedding?? As if Hummel would. What a trash fire. But dang, Glee fanfics have some of the dirtiest, kinkiest, forbidden fics out there. If you were ever on Glee_Kink_Meme on LJ, you know.

6. Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter - the ship that started it all, the big kahuna, the ultimate enemies to lovers for 90s kids. Drarry got me into the fandom world in middle school, where I basically lived on FFN and LJ while pretending to do my homework. I used to get ready every day by watching the same playlist of “The best Harry Potter videos on Youtube!” (curated by Ariel333Lindt, who was the only queer person I knew but lived in Eastern Europe, where I could see two gay people kiss and fall in love in the safety of my room through badly photoshopped videos. Please check out that playlist). I just love how each fic is a microcosm where they have to construct how magical systems work, the backstories of pureblood families, creatures, or just wizarding culture for the end goal of having Drarry fuck and fall in love! I love redemption arcs that take 200k to achieve, I love dark!Harry takes, and every single different damn take on Narcissa, Pansy, and Millicent - because deep down that’s the writer trying to come to turns on whether or not Draco should be redeemed to get together with Harry. (I mean we all know they’re obsessed with each other, book 6 anyone?) I feel like Drarry fics have the best worldbuilding and characterizations of these characters, and I just love those moments when Draco and Harry take a moment to take a breath together and realize how far they’ve come. No one else can understand how it felt to be the pariah or the chosen one, they both interacted with Voldemort the most, and they have the most history together. They should have gotten together! But I mean the author’s dead, am I right?

So that was a lot! Those are all the ships that impacted me that I still participate with. They have shaped me for better or worse, and have made me learn more about who I am and what I want (or don’t want) in a relationship. This was the most fun essay I’ve ever written on NyQuil!

I’m tagging @homosociallyyours​ because I really want to know your fandom story! Also @stozierbrak​ because I love you and must hear you gush about your boys. I’m also tagging @iamaqualady​ because you’re literally the most intriguing person I know and I’m glad we’re friends even though we haven’t interacted that much? ish? 

[w-k-smith]

Once again, tumblr has hidden the version of this post that has links. (Clearly, weird fan fic where ghosts eat candy bars is just *too radical* for this website.) This story is also available on AO3, under the username w_k_smith.

Chapter Two is here of “Don’t Go to the Netherworld!”

In this chapter, Beetlejuice and Lydia make their way through Saturn, but are waylaid by Zagnuts, a boy band, and all the obstacles the desert otherworld has to offer.

Chapter One: “It’s a Wonderful Afterlife” (6/19/20) Chapter Two: “Worm Welcome” (07/03/20) Chapter Three: “Ghost to Ghost” (upcoming) Chapter Four: “To Beetle or not to Beetle?” (upcoming)

Warning:  This story contains depictions of, references to, and discussion of  topics like suicide, untimely death, abuse, and body horror - you know,  like the musical does (though this probably has more). Know your  boundaries, and stay safe.

New chapter under keep reading!

“I don’t understand,” Lydia said, as they crossed from the midnight  of the administrative area, toward the hot afternoon of Saturn, through  the twilight in between. “What’s Saturn? Are we going to the  planet…somehow?”

“Nope. Totally unrelated, and don’t ask me who  named it. Saturn is the part of the Netherworld that acts as a trap for  ghosts who get out of line, like if you try to leave the house you’re  haunting, or jump the line in processing like someone I could mention.  Going through processing would only take a couple steps, but Saturn is  an anti-shortcut from the feverish nightmares of M.C. Escher. It’s a  giant desert, and it’s full of sandworms. Those are snake monsters that  eat ghosts. Foreshadowing?” he muttered to himself.

“This is so weird,” Lydia muttered. “I love it.”

She didn’t seem like she was being sarcastic. Maybe hanging around her wasn’t going to be too terrible.

Unfortunately, he saw trouble ahead.

“Keep your head down,” he whispered to Lydia. “Look dead. Deader than that. And don’t sneeze! Dead people never sneeze!”

“What?”

“Hello, Beetlejuice,”  said five tenor voices in unison. A cluster of expressionless young  white men was drifting through the shadows toward him and Lydia. The  boys had died in their late teens and very early twenties, long enough  ago that two of them sported frosted tips. They were dressed just  differently enough to be distinguishable from one another, in dated  pants and t-shirts with no personality.

“Hey, Boy Inferno,” he grunted.

“What are you doing out here?” they asked. They all floated six inches off the ground, in a formation reminiscent of migrating ducks.

He rolled his eyes. “Just running an errand for Juno. Miss Argentina find that living intruder yet?”

“Not that we’ve heard. Who’s your friend?”

“New  hire. Juno wants her on border patrol. Her name’s Lydia, and she’s  boring. Kids these days, you know, they think eyeliner and TikTok counts  as personality. But them’s the rules: if you add to the work, you have  to help out.”

“Do you want to hear the introduction song, Lydia?”

Geez, they didn’t back off easy. “Save that for people who’ve committed genocide or worse.”

“We were talking to Lydia.”

At his elbow, Lydia scratched the end of her nose. Boy Inferno caught the gesture, and as one, cocked their heads.

“What did you die of…?” they asked her.

“Um,  I don’t want to talk about it,” Lydia said, which was the wrong thing.  All newlydeads ever wanted to do was blather on about how they’d bitten  it.

“OK, you got me!” He stepped between Lydia and the boys. “This  isn’t an approved mission to Saturn. We were actually trying to, ah,  hide out from Juno for a while. She is in a mood today, I tell ya. Just  impossible. She wants me to take a statement from all the recently  deceased who were in line when the alarm went off, and then pinch each  of them really, really hard to see if they still have nerve endings. I’d  rather swallow my own toenails. Remember that time Juno made me swallow  my own toenails? You were there for that, weren’t you? So be a  hive-minded pal and help me stay on the DL. This one already threatened to tattle if I didn’t show her my good hiding spot.” He jerked his head at Lydia.

Boy Inferno blinked.

“Alright, then,” they said, and each voice sounded suspicious. But they drifted back toward the administrative area.

Lydia stared as they went. “Who are those guys?”

“Boy  Inferno is a dead boy band. They didn’t have enough brains or  personality to be individuals when they were a living boy band, and when  their tour bus crashed, the situation got worse.”

“Yikes. And speaking of yikes, what were you saying about sandworms? Are they going to eat us?”

He  waggled one hand back and forth, and started walking. “Eh. It’s  probably OK. You’re alive, so they’ll leave you alone. I’m half-ghost,  half-demon, which confuses them more than anything. We’ll be fine if we  don’t run into a sandworm that’s pissed off or starving.” They were  crossing into Saturn proper. The terrain changed from dark gravel to  rolling sand dunes dotted with twisted rock formations. Wooden doors  hovered here and there, from three feet off the ground to 20 stories  high. There was the light and warmth of a yellow sun, but if you turned  in every direction, you would never see a sun or any other stars in the  royal blue sky.

“Huh. Now I kind of want to meet a sandworm...” Lydia said, looking around like one was going to pop out from behind a dune.

“Yup. That’s definitely foreshadowing.”

“So…what’s it like? Being half-demon? How does that, um, happen?”

He  waved his hands to turn them into sock puppets – one red and bearing a  vague resemblance to Juno, the other a grey blob and as good a  representation as he’d ever had of his father. “Hello, children!” he  said in a screechy voice. “Let’s talk about the occult birds and bees.  When a demon woman tolerates a living human male very much…”

She shoved him. “I know that, gross! I’m ace, but not completely ignorant. I just wondered if you were ever alive.”

He  put his hands back to normal. “Uh-huh. I was alive. Looooong time ago,  though. Long enough that we didn’t pay much attention to what year it  was, and only bathed twice a lifetime, and drank beer instead of water.  Hm. Or maybe that was all just me. Anyway, Juno only had me to see what  would happen if you mixed demon magic with ghost abilities. Turns out,  you get yours truly. She hated the result, and I never got any little  siblings to chase around. But it’s fine with the just the two of us; my  mom has this sweet thing she says to me every day: ‘I wish you had never  been born.’ I think it’s a Swedish pet name.”

“How did you die?” Lydia asked.

“I asked a bunch of annoying questions that weren’t any of my business and someone stabbed me.”

“Ha ha,” she deadpanned. “How far is it, anyway?” she asked, shading her eyes. “I don’t see anything…”

“Distance doesn’t really work like that here, and we could move way, way faster if we were both dead. But it’s pretty damn far.”

She sighed.

*

He  had to give Lydia Deetz this: she was a trooper. She was wearing a  dress, and boots that were very much not made for walking, but she kept  moving, eyes forward, not a single complaint. When her stomach growled  like an angry guard dog, she held her head high and acted like she  didn’t notice.

“OK, time for a break!” he said.

“No!” she said. “We have to keep going.”

“If  you keep going like this, you’re going to collapse, and then you’ll  die, and a sandworm will eat you, and that’s my whole day gone. Sit  down.”

“I don’t need to.”

She was going to give him grey  hairs, she really was. He shook one hand like he was shooing a fly, and  she stumbled backwards until she sat on the closest rock.

Lydia’s eyes bugged. “What am I – what are you –?”

“You’ve never been possessed before?”

She stood back up. He waved his hand again, and she sat.

“No, keep it up,” he said. “This is fun.”

He flicked his fingers, and her expression brightened.

“Beetlejuice, you’re my role model!” she said, in a tone much more chipper than any that had ever come out of her mouth, he was sure. He released her.

Lydia’s face soured like old milk mixed with lemon juice, and she made the fingers-down-the-throat gesture. “I’ll sit for five minutes. Don’t do that again.”

“I  always knew I’d make a great babysitter!” He settled on the other side  of the rock. He folded his hands over his stomach, figuring he’d take a  nap if she stayed quiet.

She didn’t. “My mom would love all this,”  Lydia said. “Her favorite holiday was Halloween. We’d make our own  haunted houses in the garage – but in the summer, when no one in the  neighborhood was expecting it. She liked the weird stuff in the world.  Or – she likes the weird stuff in the world. She doesn’t just avoid it, like most people do. Like my dad does. I think she’ll like you, even.”

He  wanted to make a face at the idea of a well-adjusted person liking him  (though it was a nice feeling, deep in his black heart), but Lydia  couldn’t see him, so it would be wasted effort.

She was quiet for a while, and he thought he was free to drift off to sleep.

“Um…do you have any food?” she asked.

He reached into his jacket and pulled out a handful of Zagnuts. He tossed the kid two. “Here ya go.”

“Why so many Zagnuts?” Lydia asked. “They’re good, but I didn’t think people ate these anymore.”

“It’s the only candy in the vending machines in the Netherworld.”

“Really? Why?”

“Because everything around here is at a baseline of low-grade crappiness. Haven’t you noticed?”

“Are  you really supposed to spend eternity here when you die?” she asked, in  a muffled way that told him she’d bitten off half a candy bar at once.  “It seems like it should either be a whole lot better or a whole lot  worse.”

“You aren’t supposed to spend eternity here; that’s the  point,” he said. He popped a Zagnut into his mouth, and swallowed it  wrapper and all. “You have to move on, eventually.”

“To what?”

“Do I look like a priest? Or a philosopher? Or a TV psychic?”

“The  last one, a little. A bad one. The kind who gets tricked by reporters  to help contact their dead kid, but it turns out the kid is really alive  and just in the next booth over in the Denny’s.”

“Touché. The  point is, nobody around here knows. You hang around the administrative  area until you’re ready to go into the miserable nothingness of the  Abyss, and then you swirl around in the Abyss until…I dunno, something  else happens. Maybe you just stay in the Abyss forever. I don’t plan on  finding out anytime soon.”

“Is that where my mom is?”

“Yup.  If she didn’t come running when you first came through the door, she’s  definitely gone through security. Don’t worry, though. You poke your  head into the Abyss and shout her name a few times, and she’ll come  right out.”

He lied easily. He always had.

“I’m just  surprised she hasn’t tried to contact us,” Lydia said. “I guess she must  be confused, because we moved and everything. My dad dragged me out to  Connecticut, away from New York and all our friends and family, to work  on this stupid gated community project he has in mind. And he took my  annoying life coach with us. She’s friendly and positive,  and keeps trying to make me fill out a star chart. I don’t know why he  thinks she’s helping me. It’s not like there aren’t actual therapists in  Connecticut. I don’t get it.”

He chewed another Zagnut for a  beat, waiting to see if she was making a joke. Then he broke the news.  “Your dad is boinking the life coach.”

“What?!” she said. She whirled around the rock to sit right next to him. “How can you know that?”

“Um, because I’m an adult with a brain.” He grabbed the top of his head and lifted his skull to show his grey matter.

“He isn’t…Dad’s not…” She slumped. “He’s totally sleeping with her.”

“Totally,” he agreed.

“How could he do that? Mom’s only been dead a few months. Well…when he sees Mom – if he just talks to her again – he’ll understand what an ass he’s been.”

“Uh-huh,” he said, non-committedly.

“How much farther do we have?” she asked.

“Long enough to aaaaaaalmost make you give up and collapse in despair.”

She groaned.

For  a second, he thought her groan was superhumanly long and loud, and he  prepared to be impressed. Then he noticed the ground was shaking.

“Looks like it’s our unlucky day!” he said. “Run!”

They  both got to their feet, and made it about five steps before the sand  exploded to their left. A sandworm rose from the earth, its  black-and-white stripes blurring into grey. At the peak of its jump, its  inner head came out of its mouth, eyes glaring, jaw snapping.

It dove back down toward them.

He  dodged one way, and Lydia dodged the other. The spray of sand blocked  out everything, and when it all cleared, the sandworm had risen from the  ground again, undulating in and out of the dunes. Lydia stood in place,  looking all around. But it was hard to know where to run when you were  being attacked by a sandworm.

The sandworm’s chomping heads came out of the ground an arm’s length from Lydia. She yelled, and punched it in the closest eye.

The  heads hissed and thrashed, knocking Lydia down. The sandworm dove down,  and the sand around them whirled and roiled, until he felt like he was  standing in boiling dirt.

When the sandworm rose again, it  accidentally scooped up Lydia. She showed a little more survival  instinct than she had before, and clung to the sandworm’s back.

“Knock it off!”  he heard her say. She nudged the sandworm with her left boot, and the  sandworm turned to the right. But it had had enough of its passenger,  and whipped its body to throw Lydia like a beanbag.

She shrieked as she fell through the air. He stretched his legs, about 20 feet, and caught her.

As  he dragged her back to the ground, he braced himself for another attack  by the sandworm. Maybe if he transformed into something big and scary,  showed some lionfish spines or extra limbs, the worm would leave them  alone. Getting swallowed would be no good. Not only did he usually try  to avoid getting eaten, but sandworms’ digested prey just wound up back in processing…after a wait of at least a decade or so.

The  sandworm jumped over their heads, dove into the ground, and kept going.  Its writhing body upset every dune it plowed through, but it didn’t  double back.

He wasn’t going to look a gift worm in the mouth.

“And don’t come back!” he yelled. “G’on, git! Git!”

Lydia jumped out of his arms. “That was awesome! I thought I was going to die, but it was awesome.”

He  was more tired than he’d been in a while. He was tired like Juno had  been screaming at him for hours. Also, there was a lot of sand in his  shoes. “You did OK But why the hell did you try to punch it in the  face?”

She didn’t look ashamed in the slightest. “I thought it  would be like avoiding a shark attack. That’s what the Discovery guy  said during Shark Week: punch the shark hard in the eye so it leaves you alone.”

“Since when has punching something made it leave you alone?” he asked. “That has never worked when I’ve tried it with people.”

“Because then the shark – or the sandworm – thinks you’re too much of a threat and it ignores you. I made it go away, didn’t I?’

“I  seriously doubt you’re what made it leave, Karate Kid. If a sandworm  had its multiple hearts set on eating us, it would take more than your  mechanical bull riding skills to dissuade it. I don’t know – I’m not so  sure it was all that interested in us.”

“If it wasn’t going for us, why did it come over here?”

“I said I don’t know! I’m not a sandworm scientist.”

“Your hair is changing color,” she said, pointing at his head.

“Can you blame me? I’m pretty pissed off right now.”

She brightened. “It changes color with your mood?”

“Yeah.”

“Can I touch it?”

He  grunted, and tilted his head. She patted some strands on the right side  of his head, which were dark green at the tips, but probably working  their way to red. The cocoon the caterpillar had made behind his ear  popped open, and a death’s-head hawkmoth shot into the air and planted  itself on Lydia’s nose.

“Augh!” she yelped, and fell right on her ass. He doubled over laughing while she tried to get back up with dignity.

“You’ve taken things too far this time, Beetlejuice!”

Once, just once, he’d like to go 48 hours without hearing those words shouted at him.

He turned to see Miss Argentina stomping up a sand dune, clipboard in hand, sash askew, which meant she was really really really upset.

“What have I done this time?” he asked, resigned.

“What have you done this  time?” Miss Argentina pointed at Lydia. “Let’s start with child  endangerment! And the fact that your disappearance has about given Juno  apoplexy.”

“Ah, she loves me.”

“No! She just knows  that if she hasn’t heard from you in twelve hours, it means you’re up to  something! And that means the rest of us suffer! I’m just glad she gave  me clearance to go to Saturn to look for your sorry, sagging ass, so at  least I was able shoo a sandworm away from some newlydeads. I have a  sneaking suspicion you bear some responsibility for that, too?”

“OK,  that is both not fair and completely true,” he said. “And I’ll have you  know I’m doing a good deed. I’m guiding this one around the  Netherworld.” He jerked his head at Lydia.

“And why, in the name of all that is sacred, would you consider that a good idea?”

“Um…”  He faltered. He may have been able to fudge a few details with Lydia,  but Miss Argentina had been around long enough to know how the Abyss  worked.

“Newlydeads…” Lydia said. “That must have been what attracted the sandworm. It wasn’t coming for us after all.”

“Why  did you drag newlydeads with you?” he asked, happy to change the  subject. “What, did you need help shouting at me? Anger backup singers?”

“Of  course not.” Miss Argentina frowned. “But – that’s a good idea.” She  clicked her pen, and scribbled on her clipboard. “I am actually writing  that down. If Boy Inferno is free…”

“Excuse me!” came a woman’s voice from the bottom on the dune. “I’m so sorry – could you wait just a minute?”

“It’s very hard to walk on sand!” came a sexy, nasal male voice from the same direction.

“These  newlydeads have a problem, you see,” said Miss Argentina, her voice  icy. But something was wrong – she wasn’t looking at him. Her gaze was  fixed on Lydia. “Apparently, a living person used their Handbook without  permission.”

Lydia became interested in the horizon. “Huh. That’s weird.”

Miss Argentina jabbed a finger in Lydia’s face. “Oh, don’t even try that on me, living girl. I am not in the mood today.”

“Whoof! We made it.” The newlydead couple crested the dune…and he was smitten.

The  woman was white, a pretty blonde, in a green wrap dress and  suburban-mom-at-the-nice-grocery-store boots. Her companion was a  beautiful Desi man, with light brown skin and a lock of black hair  hanging over his forehead that he immediately wanted to run his fingers through.

“Oooooh…” he said. “Hello, sexy…”

Lydia looked at him with a scientific expression. “Which one?”

“The  Trader Joe’s guardian angels over here. Not that Miss A isn’t pretty  easy on the eyes herself, but she’s a friend of Ellen, know what I mean?  A patron of U-Haul. An adopter of shelter cats. Wrong tree, is what I’m  saying. But she loves me platonically.”

“She doesn’t,” Miss Argentina said.

The couple pushed past him and bent over Lydia.

“Oh, thank goodness!” the woman said.

“Lydia!” said the man. “I’m so glad we found you. We were worried sick!”

“Adam, Barbara?” Lydia said. “What…what are you doing here? You weren’t supposed to go to the Netherworld.”

[piilokarsastus]

Question time!

1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now? because life is hard and i just don’t understand what i’m doing wrong but everyone else seems to know

2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone? nope. and to be fair, i would be sleeping anyway

3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care? if it’s like an actual thing for them that they do regularly, i’d probably be a bit concerned, but i don’t see anything wrong with trying things out for fun. if you’re just a straight up pothead, we wouldn’t be dating in the first place

4: Do you find it easy to trust others? i guess

5: What were you doing at 11PM last night? filling in another pointless question post on tumblr, funny that you should ask

6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you? unlikely scenario, but i’m gonna say my friends from uni

7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on? probably spend the next few years thinking about it, unable to trust anyone again

8: Are you close with your dad? not as close as with my mum but still reasonably close

9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right? i’m curious as to what kind of life you think i’m living because this is not it

10: What are you listening to? the soothing hum of my laptop fan

11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it? woter:)

12: Do you like hickeys? i don’t exactly understand the point

13: What time do you go to bed? going to bed and falling asleep are two very different things but usually around 2-4

14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down? me. it’s me.

15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both? definitely not

16: Do you always answer your texts? sooner or later, yes

17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for? no

18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends? not that long ago

19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them? all of my friends

20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? aight imma head out

21: Is anyone else in the room with you? no

22: Do you believe what goes around comes around? in a sense i do

23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now? i feel like i was, yeah

24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with? well there’s nothing to “fix” per se, i just wish things went differently

25: In the past week, have you cried? yes

26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing? red

27: Do people ever call you by your last name? my aunt often does, weirdly enough

28: Is anyone ignoring you right now? only every single one of the 4 people i’ve messaged on tinder recently. which makes me feel really great

29: Do you have a best friend? there’s someone i could perhaps call my best friend but i don’t think i have a “true” best friend at the moment like those i’ve had before

30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed? no i’m completely neutral towards her

31: Who was your last call from? my friend tried to call me yesterday but i couldn’t answer

32: Are you mad at anyone? no

33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you? marginally, yes

34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday? honestly i don’t know?? i don’t remember when she was born exactly but i feel like we were born in the same year at least, so i’m guessing either 21 or 22

35: How many more days until your birthday? 329

36: Do you have any summer plans yet? summer literally just ended so no

37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex? not exactly a fan of the word opposite in this context but i get what you mean. so yeah, most of my friends are of the “opposite” sex

38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now? nothing that would be their business to know

39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone? i guess i do.

40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone? i haven’t kissed nearly enough people for there to be any regrets. soo... would you like to be my first regret? haha just kidding... unless...

41: Do you think age matters in relationships? not going to write the essay that the wording of this question warrants but basically yes but only to some extent; what’s more important is that you’re in a similar phase in life and have similar expectations about the relationship. age can be a large factor in those things as well as your “maturity” but it isn’t the only factor.

42: Are you available? yeah bitch hmu

43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended? two

44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get? well i guess it’d have to be a septum, then

45: Do you believe exes can be friends? yes, in fact that’s my life philosophy

46: Do you regret anything? :)) i don’t think about it as much as i used to but i’ve never fully forgiven myself for confessing my feelings to someone who wasn’t interested in me. this is known as the february 2019 incident

47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now? tiddies

48: Did you ever lose a best friend? yeah, not to death but to life

49: Was your last kiss a mistake? no

50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like? i don’t quite like anyone at the moment and it’s gonna take a long time until i’m ever going to have the courage to make a move on anyone i’m interested in because of the aforementioned incident

51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry? no

52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed? no, like there’s nothing negative between us and we’d say hello if we met on the street but we just don’t talk 

53: What was the last thing you ate? pancake:)

54: Did you get any compliments today? haven’t really interacted with anyone today so no

55: Where are you going on your next vacation? bich this is my vacation, i’m going nowhere except to bed

56: Do you own anything from other countries? yes. like i’m a bit amused by this question like where on this planet can you even live where at least some of your stuff hasn’t been made in China etc. (well, i guess that would be China). but even if you’re referring to souvenirs from trips etc, still yes

57: Are most of your friend guys or girls? girls

58: Where have you lived most of your life? in Oulu, Finland

59: When was the last time you took a long drive? a few months ago, but i wasn’t the one driving

60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle? yes, also known as the game where my friends try to find out who i have a crush on

61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house? i had to google what TPing means and i’m more and more scared of americans every day

62: Who do you text the most? honestly my social life is at a point where my most common recurring interaction is exchanging cat videos with my mum (apart from group chats)

63: What was the last movie you saw? the matrix

64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex? yeah as if i have one

65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2010? 2010?? damn i was literally 10

66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you? we were around the same age

67: Do you curse around your parents? for comedic effect

68: Are you happy with where you live? not my dream apartment but it’s okay

69: Do you collect anything? my tiktok seems to have become a collection of about 250 cute lgbt folks, but other than that, no

70: What’s your favourite colour? a kind of deep, ultramarine blue

71: Does the last song you listened to remind you of anyone? not in particular

72: Has anyone ever cheated on you? no

73: What are your plans for tomorrow? make some music

74: Do you have siblings over the age of twenty-one? i don’t have any

75: Does your last ex have a job? not that i know of

76: What would you do if you found out your most recent ex was in a relationship? she is and i’m happy for her, or as happy as i can be while being painfully aware of the fact that my love life hasn’t gone anywhere in the past two years

77: Where is your cellphone? on the floor, charging

78: What colour is your cellphone? black and bronze

79: What did you dream of last night? it was something fairly nsfw and extremely hot and i lterally had to pause for a second when i woke up because damn it’s been so fucking long since i’ve experienced that irl and it left me with a bad case of yearning

80: Are you atheist? yes

81: Will you change your name when you get married? no

82: Are you ready for autumn weather? would be a bit too late if i wasn’t

83: Have you had any big storms recently? there was one that was rumoured to be really big but tbh i barely noticed it 

84: What kind of bottoms are you wearing? just my comfy pajamas

[lovemesomesurveys]

Have you ever read the Hunger Games series? Yep and watched all the movies. I was really into it at the time. When was the last time you ran into something? Hmm. I don’t recall. Do you enjoy dressing up? Nah. Do you live in the city or a rural area? I live in the city. Would you say you have a sense of style? My sense of style consists of mostly graphic tees and leggings, but also some Adidas clothes. And shoes. 

What’s your biggest fear? This question comes up all the damn time. Have you ever been bitten by a wild animal? Nooo. Are you close to any of your cousins? Aww, I used to be close to a few of my cousins. Not anymore, though. :( That’s all my fault. I became really distant and withdrawn from friends and even family outside of my immediate family.  Have you ever been lost in the woods? No, thankfully. Where did you last travel? Disneyland back in February. Do you enjoy driving? I don’t drive.  What song did you last listen to? I mentioned this in a previous survey already, but I’ve had Savage by Megan the Stallion stuck in my head because of TikTok. If you have a job, how often do you work? I don’t have a job. What time do you normally go to sleep at night? For the past month I’ve been going to bed after 6AM. :X Do you watch a lot of movies? Hmm. Not a lot, no. I watch more TV shows. Do you like Tom Petty? ”Now I’m freeeeeee Free fallin’.” Would you rather have snow or rain? I love rainy days. It doesn’t snow here, but I wish it did. Do you own a lot of sweaters? I own a lot of sweatshirts. Have you ever tried rock-climbing? Well, no. For obvious reasons. Ever ridden in a police car? Nope. Favorite decade of music? That’s tough cause I like music that spans across decades, but I think the 90s and early 2000′s will hold a special spot. Have any of your best friends been your best friend longer than a year? My longest was my best friend of 15 years.  Ever witnessed a murder? Noooo.  Does your room have a ceiling fan? Yep. Have you ever tried blogging? Before Tumblr I had Xanga for a long time.  Favorite television channel? E!, MTV, The Hallmark Channel, TeenNick, TVLand, and the ID Channel. Have you ever lied under oath? I’ve never had to be under oath. What are your religious views? I’m a Christian. When did you last change your bed sheets? A week ago. Would you consider yourself a flirt? No. At what age do you plan to be married? I don’t plan on getting married. Do you eat a lot of junk food? Honestly, all I eat is sandwiches, ramen, eggs, and Wingstop. Sometimes pizza and pasta. When did you last go on vacation? I’ve answered this 3 times now tonight, but I went to Disneyland back in February. Are you resilient? I was when I was younger. Definitely not anymore. Have you ever failed a subject before? I failed one math course in community college and had to retake it again. I ended up doing a lot better the 2nd time. I honestly believe it’s because I had a better teacher. If so, what was the class? ^^^ Do you wear more bright or dull colors? Dull. Majority of my clothes are black. Do you know anyone who has attempted suicide? Yes. What’s your favorite quote? Blah. How many clocks are in your house? Like 20 including all the electronics.  Do you play any sports? Nope. What is your biggest life regret? I have a lot of those. Have you ever been injured in a car accident? No, thankfully. If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you be? Well obviously right now I only want to be at home, but I look forward to the day I can go to the beach. Have you ever had highlights in your hair? Yeah, I had them for years. Favorite fast food restaurant? I’m not into fast food anymore like I used to be. I was a fast food junkie before. The only takeout I’m into is Wingstop. And pizza from a local place, but I haven’t had that in awhile. In what country were you born? US of A. Are your eyes more than one color? Nope, just brown. Have you ever caught something on fire? Something in the microwave once, something in the oven once, the tips of my hair.... What would you consider your biggest flaw? Oh boy where to start. What do you think your best quality is? I don’t know. Do you enjoy listening to others’ problems? I used to be the person people came to if they needed advice or just someone to talk to and I was good at it. I liked being there and helping any way I could. People told me they felt comfortable talking to me and I was easy to talk to. It could also be overwhelming and draining at times. Especially leading up to when I fell into a really low, dark place a few years ago. I couldn’t be that person anymore. I wasn’t in a good headspace. I pushed everyone away and became very distant and withdrawn. That was 4 years ago and I’m still out of that place. :/

Do you keep any plants in your house? Nope. What is your mother’s occupation? She’s a manager at Walgreens.  Do any of your friends like your musical style? My family and I share some musical interests. What are you most looking forward to? I wanna say this quarantine ending, but I know resuming life in the real world would also be making me anxious when the time comes. I guess I’m most excited for seeing Gabie again, because I haven’t seen March 7th. <<< SAME to the first part.  What was your favorite television show as a child? Disney Channel, Nickelodeon, PBS, Saturday morning cartoons on ABC, WB Kids... all the kid shows in the 90s, basically. Are you afraid of insects? YES. ALL of them. Are you cold-natured? I’m very warm blooded, I feel like I’m always hot. I like when I’m actually cold and can wear a hoodie/sweatshirt or curl up under a blanket. How old were you when you got your first pet? We had a dog when I was a baby. Did you / do you enjoy high school? I liked parts of it.  What would you say was your favorite age? Childhood. What annoys you most about social networking? Trolls, fake news, cancel culture.

Are you the center of attention most of the time? Nooo. I never want to be the center of attention. What are you currently reading? I’m starting the 2nd book in the Jack Ryder Mystery Series by Willow Rose. When did you last go to the library? Sometime back in 2014 when I was still in school. Are you ill at the moment? Not with a virus or anything like that, thankfully. I just always feel crappy for other reasons. Do people tease you about anything? How I’m too sensitive.  How late did you stay up last night and why? Last night I went to bed at 4 in the morning, which is really early for me these days. Have you ever written poetry? I dabbled with it when I was 16. I still have the diary I wrote them in and yikes they’re so cringe-y haha. Curtains or shades? Curtains.  How many people have you spoken to in the last hour? Zero, everyone in my house is asleep. Do you tend to text a lot? Nope. Ever lost a great best friend? Yes. What is your favorite kind of flower? Eh, I just say roses but I don’t really have one. Do you own any guns? No. What would you say is your favorite book of all-time? I could never choose. What’s your least favorite part of the day? Late evening always seems to go by really slow.

Have you ever won an award for a speech? No. Do you tend to curse a lot? Nah. Have you ever played on the Ouija board? Nooo. I don’t mess with that kind of stuff. Do you sleepwalk? Nope. Have you ever slept on the floor before? Yeah. Are you a fan of public displays of affection? I don’t care for like heavy make out sessions or groping all over each other, but I don’t care about a kiss, cuddling, or hand holding. When did you last attend a yard sale? When I was a kid. We had a family friend who had them often. What goals do you wish to accomplish tomorrow? I don’t have anything I want to accomplish tomorrow. When is your birthday? July 28th. What was the best part of today? It’s only 430 in the morning. Do you attempt to stay away from drama? Involving me yes, but I like celebrity gossip and drama. What liquid did you last drink? Starbucks Doubleshot energy drink. Do you ever prefer to be alone? Yeah, I need to have some alone time. Have you ever had a deadly animal as a pet? No. Favorite Disney movie? Alice in Wonderland, Winnie the Pooh, A Goofy Movie, and Toy Story. Have you ever been to the beach? Countless times. I love the beach.  If you have, how many times have you been? ^^^^ What was your dream occupation at age ten? I wanted to be a teacher back then. Are you terrified at the idea of weight-gain? No. I’m underweight and need to gain some weight. Do you drink a lot of water? I only get like 2-3 glasses a day. :X Does your room have carpet or hard-wood floors? Carpet. Do you take naps daily? No.

Who were you named after? No one in particular. Do you plan on traveling this spring or summer? No, we’re still going to be dealing with all this. :/ Do you know anyone who is colorblind? Nope. Have you ever been a teacher’s pet? I guess so. I was always the good kid, the “pleasure to have in class.” Teachers loved me. What is your absolute favorite hobby? Reading, surveys, coloring.  Ever been to a tanning bed before? No. I have no interest in that. Are you satisfied with your financial stability? I have enough to pay my bills and a little extra for other stuff, so I’m grateful for that. Who is your favorite actor / actress? Alexander Skarsgard. Are your nails painted? Nope. Do you ever accidentally talk to inanimate objects? Not accidentally, but I talk to inanimate objects when they don’t cooperate. More like talk shit, but haha. What’s your favorite flavor of ice cream? Strawberry. Have you ever kissed someone of the same gender? No. Do you receive any hate mail? No. Have you ever sent a letter in the mail? Yeah. If you could, would you have a pen pal? I did in 3rd grade. It was fun. We even got to meet them toward the end of the year during a field trip. I wouldn’t want one now, though. What color are the pants you’re wearing? I’m wearing black leggings.  What is your life philosophy? Hmm. Who last sent you a goodnight text message? No one does. Do you own any clothes that are your favorite color? Yeah. One of my favorite colors is black and most of my clothes are black. I have a few items that are my other favorite colors as well. Have you ever been in a hot tub before? Once for a short time. I didn’t like it. What’s your favorite comedy movie? I have several, but the one that came to mind first was Bridesmaids.  In which year were you born? 1989.