#ticklefighthockey

[puckthisyear]

This is 100% @ticklefighthockey's fault - I take no responsibility for my actions. Here is the original video. First of all this is all I had to work with to identify the truck (and I know about as much about trucks as I do about sea anemones):

But I can google image search with the best of them, and my forensic investigation reveals this is probably a Ford Super Duty. You can tell by that weird recessed badge thing.

Now while the overall height of the F250 is a known and easily comparable 81.3 inches (6ft9 or 206cm) our video does not show us the roof, so we have to work with the top of the wing mirror. This was much harder to find. The best I can come up with is this guess:

Unfortunately Geno slouches a little to avoid said wing mirror, but I think we can call it the top of his shoulder (or his special Sid snuggling spot):

This means we can now carefully and precisely calculate his true height using the power of mathematics, in which I have absolutely no qualifications:

Adding on one more head gets us to 205cm (ish) - a whopping 6ft9 - as tall as an F250, and wayyyyy taller than his official stats (6ft3). But, what if he's been lying all this time to make Sid feel better? I offer as possible proof:

(For reference, Putin is allegedly 5ft7 and may wear lifts, so this helps us not at all). I ... am honestly not proud of this.

[selkiefinalist]

nateej group therapy!! —jes

this was for a prompt from @patrichornkissed so i am honor-bound to fulfill it (and with a joyful heart) but am planning to attempt my first ‘5 times’ fic because i can’t land on just one scenario. i’ve posted this snippet before and haven’t worked on it since, really:

“So…” Nate does his best to look up through his eyelashes. “You come here often?”

“Shut the fuck up.” EJ stirs the powdered creamer into his coffee with more force than is probably necessary. “It’s your fault we’re here.”

Their counselor makes them all mingle at the end of each session. Today, Ken seems hell-bent on inviting anyone who will make eye contact to the cafe down the street, and Nate is hell-bent on avoiding that invite. Ken’s sweet and what happened to his cat was tragic, for sure, but Nate just can’t.

“It’s not my fault. Your BFF is the one making us come here —“

“Because you can’t get over your BFF’s trade -“ EJ’s stabbing the cup with the stir stick. Nate’s not the one with issues, here.

“Shhh.” He puts a hand on EJ’s elbow. “Daisy,” he hisses, when EJ tries to throw his hand off.

“Fuckin’ Daisy,” EJ mutters. “She’s so nosy.” But he sighs and lets Nate keep his hand where it is. “Sorry,” he says, finally. “Do you want to get out of here?”

“I didn’t want to be here at all.” Nate takes EJ’s coffee and throws it in the garbage. “Let’s fucking go.”

“That was my coffee,” EJ grumbles, but he steers Nate out of the community room where their therapy group meets, down the dingy hallway, and out onto the rain-wet street. “Beer?”

“You’re buying,” Nate says. EJ fakes an elbow to Nate’s gut, and Nate gasps and buckles over.

EJ always picks the same place. He says ‘beer,’ but what he means is ‘upscale martini lounge,’ which suits Nate fine but is a pretty jarring contrast from the worn vinyl tiles and general hopeless air of their therapy room.

[crosby-interesting]

https://www.tumblr.com/ticklefighthockey/714449009873436672/ok-obviously-its-a-bummer-to-imagine-sid-feeling

Well Andy hasn't worked or lived near Sid for a while now and Kathy always gets sent packing with her parents after a couple of obligation weddings. She also was sent packing during his lowest points like his concussions, his dad always stepped in. It's fine if people really want to project a level of commitment to Sid and Kathy that isn't there but starting to believe an entire fantasy where Kathy is "needed" for Sid's emotional health is just weird. The dude is documented hooking up in Pitt, TO and Europe he is not a committed boyfriend. Kathy won't be a wife or partner to him until he decides he's ready to settle down. Why won't they let that be lol.

———— Answer: because this is one of the most delusional blogs about pens, she systematically spouts nonsense and her world is pure fanfiction fantasy. I'm not even going to try to talk seriously about this text. Sid will spend the summer with Nate lol

[couthbbg]

Sharon Olds // x . x . x . x . x . x . x . x

[rimouskis]

I'm thinking about it and thinking about it and thinking about it and

[whenyoulosesmallmind]

"he was the son of train delays / that made mom and dad meet / she was as beautiful as the darkest sky / she looked for the meaning of life inside bars [...] one day he asked her: "Chiara will you marry me?" / with a ring in hand and a forced smile / she really thought about it for a minute or two / then said: "no, but let's go out to get ice cream"" ― Lake Washington Boulevard, Pinguini Tattici Nucleari trans. mine | inspired by this post

[goatisbetheres]

from here from 2022

[malk1ns]

hi, i’m pretty new to hrpf. i’ve seen a lot of rule 63 fics within the fandom - at least, a lot more in comparison to some of the other fandoms that i’ve been in. i was curious why people in the hrpf fandom like rule 63? i’m not as familiar with it 😅 thanks!

this is an interesting question! i haven't really looked to see if proportionally there are more rule63 fics here than in other fandoms, and i am by no means an expert—although i don't think anyone can claim to be an expert on why other people write what they write—but i thought about this all morning and i have a few theories!

for me at least (although i haven't written rule63 yet myself), writing fic is a lot about putting these guys in Scenarios. we have a pretty good idea of what they're (publicly) like, and i think RPF as a whole tends to focus more on 'how do the people in the story react' as opposed to 'how can the world of the story be built out'—because these are real people we're writing about (kind of...), to me at least it's more interesting to say, ok i 'know' sid and geno (or at least the way i like to write sid and geno when i'm not doing a specific characterization), what would my sid and my geno do if they were in scenario x, or if situation y happened to them. it's almost reactive, you know? less about let's build a story and plop these more static characters from fiction into them, more about how can i continue to evolve these real dudes who we've seen evolve over the years based on the situation i invented for them. i might be alone in that but the more i thought about this while i was vacuuming today the more it made sense to me, even though i don't think this is consciously how i was writing—i do think this is how i approach THIS fandom vs others i've been in.

so, rule63 is sort of....we know sid, we know geno. what if one of them was a girl? and it's such an INTERESTING scenario to put them in, because we know them basically exclusively in the context of the NHL, and the NHL is all men. so what is that like for a woman to be introduced into the ecosystem, especially at the stature sid and geno are? how does that change their reputation, their day-to-day, the way they interact with their friends and teammates and the media and the fans? we have SO much source material of how they are to build off, so tweaking gender is just another way we can put those guys in situations and extrapolate on what would happen.

does this make any sense at all? idk when i think about the girl sid fic idea i have a LOT of it is going to be about how is sid perceived and how does she move in this world that's all men except her, and how does that affect her. and i think when i put that together with what i was ruminating on this morning, it all sort of dovetails and makes sense. you know?

i'd be curious to see what other authors think about this though, both about how RPF is a little different from other fandoms and also rule63 within the hockey RPF space! hope y'all don't mind if i tag you and please don't feel obligated but if you do have thoughts i'd love to hear them...@beggingwolf @plethoriall @yabagofmilfs @cuprun @ellen-shame @al-the-remix @ticklefighthockey @puckluckie @cascara-soda this is by no means an exhaustive list please chime in if you see this and feel so inclined!

also let's not forget that sometimes you want to write idfic and sex and have you seen sid and geno's mouths i just know that they'd know how to use them on each other in the fictional world i build up. sometimes, as freud probably never actually said, a cigar is just a cigar. so to speak.

[hunterrrs]

feral era. yapping and making bedroom eyes at the refs @ticklefighthockey

[girlfriendline]

"if you're not scoring goals, get out there and bang a body!" - and sid took that personally

for @ticklefighthockey

pens @ sharks || 14.2.23

[puckthisyear]

I'm fairly new to Pens hockey, can you explain where the "Geno is a Union man" came from? I love it, but I'd like the lore.

Thank you!

Welcome! It's so great to have so many new people in pensblr this season. Unfortunately we're terrible at tagging, and tumblr is a search blackhole (affectionate) so the original lore is mostly lost. I'm pretty sure @ticklefighthockey started it, but she can correct me. The basic mythology is that Comrade Evgeni Vladimirovich Malkin is not prepared to put in a minute's extra work more than he is being appropriately remunerated for. This means he will not wait his turn in the goalie bonk line at the end of a game. He will not speak English unless absolutely required, mystifying his teammates: There are several stories in which teammates would text Malkin to go out to dinner and his responses would be "Da" or "$". The teammates had no idea what those responses meant, but when Malkin replied with "$" he would be at dinner and when he replied "Da" he would not show up. He will refuse to do media at all costs. He wants to go home, Jen.

He will wait out reporters until they leave, because his work day is done:

He will send content creators after Sid, because they're far better off hassling his husband:

(gif credit @hunterrrs)

And above all, if he feels he is not getting his mandated break times, he will take them when he likes (1090 penalty minutes and counting). Unity is strength and Geno will be happy to give you a leaflet about it.

[selkiefinalist]

2, 4, 9!! —jes

ok @ticklefighthockey here are your delayed responses:

2. re-read:

according to ao3 i have opened tear down your heroes (2nd installment of hockey at the end of the world) 24 times and i’ll know it at the hook (zach/willy) 30 times and, at least within hockey rpf, that tracks

4. rarepair:

my standards for what counts as rarepair are always in flux especially in hrpf but let’s go with: depending on how you feel about baseball (willy/kyle) which i don’t think this is really rarepair enough but like. it’s my party and i’ll rec if i want to

9. made me cry

i don’t know!! steel doesn’t cry, i guess. honestly i do everything in my power to prevent crying at any/all times but also in my defense i think what would elicit that kind of response from me would just be something no one else would want to read

[crosby-interesting]

So many blogs are nasty about Sid. They'll post an image/gif of him alone or with a fellow HP (like Nate/Geno) and tag it #his thick thighs are begging to be spread, #his slutty little shorts are for nates enjoyment, #he's going to go home and pop it in husband's mouth", #threesome with anna. These women are gross and vulgar. 🤮

but THEY think they are great romantic writers 😂😂😂 in fact yes, karma or not, most Crosby fans are perverts incapable of achieving their own sexual satisfaction in the normal way 🙄

[ellen-shame]

fuck it. sidgeno abo mpreg porn.

thanks @ticklefighthockey and @yabagofmilfs in particular for talking about pregnant sid

my wip title is "waddle"

This Is Not What I'm Supposed To Be Writing.

~

Sid tosses his robe on the ottoman at the foot of the bed and stands gloriously naked as he pokes around trying to find his sleep shirt.

It’s enough to make Zhenya look up from his bedtime scrolling. In the last few weeks Sid’s suddenly started to look very pregnant. His belly has changed the tilt of his hips and the way he walks, and his tits are no longer little peaks, but heavy cups that make Zhenya’s mouth water.

“Ah, Sid. Don’t dress,” he says. “Come here.” He pats the bed next to him.

Sid grins dorkily as he clambers across the bed and lowers himself down next to Zhenya for a kiss. For some insane reason, he’s been shy about initiating sex since they found out he was pregnant.

“So hot,” Zhenya groans against his mouth.

Sid chuckles. “Even though I’m waddling like a turkey?” he asks.

“Mm, most beautiful turkey,” Zhenya mumbles, barely aware of what he’s saying; he’s distracted by stroking his hand down from Sid’s jaw across the swollen side of his breast and then the swollen side of his belly. He reaches down to give Sid’s soft dick a gentle tug.

“Feels good?” he asks, because Sid’s libido’s been up and down since he got pregnant.

“Yeah, it’s good,” Sid breathes, pushing Zhenya’s pjyama pants down and stroking his dick in turn.

They trade kisses and hand-jobs until they’re both hard, but then Zhenya has better ideas.

“You get on hands and knee?” 

There’s really only two positions that work for them at the moment, and this one is better for eating Sid out. He manoeuvres around Sid to get behind him. God, he looks so pregnant like this, his belly and breasts weighing down underneath him.

Sid’s ass has, if possible, only got bigger over the last few months. It’s obscene. Zhenya feels insane about it. He kind of wants to ask someone, like, “Are you seeing what I’m seeing?” - not to be gross, just to check that he’s not hallucinating or something.

He eats Sid out the way Sid likes it, starting with small neat licks and getting sloppier as he goes. By the time Sid’s moaning, Zhenya's chin is wet, Sid’s thighs are wet, Sid balls are wet. One of the fun surprises of pregnancy has been Sid getting slicker than Zhenya’s ever seen outside of heat. Zhenya licks his lips as he draws back.

He watches another trickle of slick come out of Sid and slide down his inner thigh. Zhenya whimpers and has to jerk himself off a little about it.

“C’mon, G, don’t leave me hanging here,” Sid says, sounding half joking and half desperate.  

Zhenya smacks a final kiss to Sid’s ass cheek and then kneels up, taking his dick in hand to guide it into Sid, slowly because he didn’t use his fingers first.

“It’s okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s good,” Sid pants.

Once he’s fully inside he starts to rock into Sid, not really thrusting. Zhenya needs to Google sex during pregnancy okay? at least once a week at the moment, and even the internet’s reassurances haven’t made him feel okay about anything other than very gentle sex.

But luckily it seems to be working for Sid. “Ah, G, here,” he gasps, and takes Zhenya’s hand and slides it over his breast.

Zhenya moans happily. He can’t get enough of Sid’s tits. For weeks after they’d first popped, they had hurt so much he wouldn’t let Zhenya play with the swollen little peaks. It was maybe the greatest tragedy that anyone had ever suffered, but Zhenya had been very brave about it. Now, though, they’re full and soft, and Zhenya caresses them adoringly. It’s been a long time since he was with a woman. He’d forgotten how much he likes boobs. 

Sid likes it too, if the way he starts squirming back against Zhenya is anything to go by. Zhenya abruptly realises how close he is to coming.

“Miliy, touch yourself,” he tells Sid desperately. 

But Sid begs, “You do it.” Zhenya gets his hand between Sid’s legs and jerks him in time with the twitches of his hips. Thank God, Sid comes quickly, gasping as he clenches around Zhenya, and then Zhenya can let his mind go beautifully blank as he chases his own release.

It’s a bit of a project to get them lowered onto their sides once he’s knotted, but Sid seems comfortable enough. He likes being spooned at the moment, says it helps his backaches.

“Bean is okay?” Zhenya asks, running his hand over Sid’s stomach after a few minutes of dozing.

“Mm. She’s good. She’s sleeping, I think.”

Zhenya raises his eyebrows. They didn’t wake her up? Hopefully that’s a sign that she’s going to be a good sleeper. 

A minute later Sid says, “Oh, speak of the devil. There she is.” He grabs Zhenya’s hand and puts it on his lower belly.

“Hello, little bean,” Zhenya murmurs as his daughter squirms around under his palm.

“You think she know what we do?” he wonders aloud.

“Christ, I hope not,” Sid huffs.

Zhenya considers this. “She must feel it, no?”

Sid reaches behind him and smacks at Zhenya’s thigh. “I don’t want to think about my pup knowing when we fuck.”

Zhenya laughs into the back of Sid’s hair. “She know,” he says. “Or how we gonna explain when we give little brother or sister?”

[sergeifyodorov]

Hi do you have any blog recs! Not picky about teams, just new to hockey and trying to understand more of the nhl’s vibe!

HI OMG YES I DO!! welcome!!

@simmyfrobby <- bruins/wild/pens fan tho she prefers Narratives to teams most of the time. poetry aficionado

@saviorified <- oilers fan (connor mcdavid especially) + fabulous artist

@txstars <- stars fan

@stereax <- great w/ news updates + resources

@mad-komet + @bowiehorvat <- islanders

@teekays <- flyers, red wings, stars, sharks

@tofumilanesa <- sharks + TOP notch skating philosophy/Jock Understander

@3416 <- leafs

@domifucker <- leafs + ohl

@ticklefighthockey <- pens

ok stopping here so the list isn't 3 million ppl long. have fun!! stay a while

[intheupside]

loves to bully + loves to be bullied: a series

(x from twitter/sportmodepetey, x from @ticklefighthockey, x from @justinelark, x from twitter/pghchick07)