#thug tf

[octuscle]

Accountant wanted

Let's not kid ourselves: no one expected Dylan to have a career. He'd barely managed to get through school, and probably only got his bachelor's degree out of pity. But he really did look like he needed to be pitied. Slightly overweight, bad skin, a squeaky voice and an annoying laugh. Most of his fellow students who were not doing a master's degree had job offers in the bag before they had even started their bachelor's thesis. Not Dylan.

In the beginning, Dylan kept his head above water with his old student job. Cashier at the supermarket. Sometimes he was also allowed to help out in the accounting department. Sometimes he also helped restock shelves. Nothing you'd need a bachelor's degree for. Sometimes Dylan also checked the supermarket bulletin board, but aside from tutoring jobs or babysitting for babies or pets, there were rarely any offers. Until that one day. There was the note. Handwritten. Blotchy. Not quite grammatically correct. But it said “Accountant wanted”. And Dylan could do accounting. Sort of. While he was working, Dylan didn't dare to use the phone. But right during the first break, he called the phone number listed. Someone answered whose English was rather broken. In a mixture of Spanish and English, Dylan conducted a kind of job interview. However, his Spanish was even worse than the English of his interlocutor. But somehow it seemed to have worked, because in the end Dylan received a WhatsApp message “Come mañana at 8:00 oficina. We looking forward to seeing you. I'll send the address later.” Dylan was so excited that his puny little cock actually got hard.

The next morning, Dylan got up at 5:30 a.m. It was quite a distance to Little Cuba. And he wanted to be on time and look good. With his white shirt, unfashionable tie, and tassel loafers, he looked a bit out of place on the bus. But he was at the specified location at 8:00 a.m. sharp. Dylan. No one else. Dylan checked the location again, which he had received via WhatsApp. He was exactly at the agreed place. It was 08:15, it was 08:30. It was 08:45… At 09:30, a man on a motorcycle stopped in front of Dylan. “You Dylan?” Dylan's mouth went dry. The guy was a mountain of a man. Muscles, hair… Tattoos… Leather… The man got off his bike and gave Dylan a fistbump that nearly knocked Dylan to the ground. “Soy Enrique. Pero call me Lobo. ¿Qué pasa con esa clothes tan silly?” Opened the rolling grille of the store they were standing in front of. Lobo pulled Dylan behind him. He went to the back. Dylan stood a little unsettled in the empty room. A mixture of cafe, leather clothing store and motorcycle repair shop. It smelled of oil, leather and sweat. For whatever reason, Dylan got a hard-on again.

Lobo came back and put a pile of clothes on a counter next to Dylan. A pair of jeans, a T-shirt, a leather vest. “Take them off! Get dressed!” It wasn't a request, it was an order. Dylan looked around for a sheltered spot. But there wasn't one. And Lobo barked more than he said: Here! So Dylan stripped. Thank goodness Lobo wasn't watching because he was looking for something. When Dylan put on the jeans that were loose-fitting on his legs, Lobo put a pair of boots in front of him. Dylan shielded his soft pale man-boobs from Lobo's gaze. He could hardly take his eyes off Lobo's steel-hard, tanned pecs. Lobo noticed this and made his muscles dance. Small damp patches from his precum formed in Dylan's jeans. Dylan pulled on the T-shirt, which was actually a cut-off tank top, and the leather vest. A mirror hung next to the rack of leather jackets. Dylan looked into it. He looked so ridiculous. His pale, chapped skin didn't match the masculine clothes at all. Since he was freshly shaved, his double chin was even more visible. And the gelled parting just didn't fit in at all. Not with his outfit. And not in the store!

Dylan asked Lobo what he should do now? Lobo looked at Dylan as if he wanted to eat him. “¿Soy yo el maldito contable? ¿Sé usar este puto ordenador?” he asked. “Todo lo que necesitas está ahí, en tu despacho.” Dylan had to make an enormous effort. Dylan didn't exactly speak the Spanish he had learned at school either. But he replied, somewhat haltingly and with a heavy accent, “¡Lo tienes, jefe! ¡No te defraudaré!”

In the corner that Lobo called his office, there was a surprisingly new and high-quality laptop with a Post-It with “clave: Lobo” stuck to it. Not exactly a high-security wing, Dylan thought to himself. But then, he wasn't employed for IT security. There were a few pieces of paper with notes next to the computer. Maybe there was a folder somewhere where he could file the notes. Dylan opened a drawer. And dollar bills poured out of the drawer. Small, large, hot off the press, worn… There had to be thousands of dollars. Lobo called out to him that he would like to know what yesterday's takings were and what outstanding debts there were. Well, counting the money was still the easiest task. Dylan was done with that by lunchtime. Then he had 18,743.00 dollars neatly bundled on his desk. His hands stank of money. It was hot and stuffy in the store. Dylan's hair was wet with sweat. He was hungry and thirsty. Lobo called out to him to get some tacos. And a few bottles of beer. Dylan took 20 dollars from the pile, made a note in an Excel spreadsheet and ran to get lunch. For Lobo, himself and, just in case, one or two of the guys who occasionally came into the store between errands.

Miguel greeted Dylan with a fist bump and asked if he wanted the usual. Dylan replied “¡Claro, amigo! Para cuatro personas, por favor. Y dame una botella extra de cerveza, estoy sediento como un buey hoy.” The two talked about the usual while Miguel prepared the tacos at his street food trolley. Soccer, the cursed Republicans, motorcycles… A few of the other guys, who were already eating or waiting in line behind Dylan, joined in the passionate discussion. Gringos rarely strayed into this neighborhood. Especially when it came to talking shit about Trump, there was no need to mince words. One of the guys asked Dylan how he spoke ghetto Spanish so fluently. Dylan shrugged his shoulders. He had no idea. It was just the Spanish he knew not only from Miguel, but also from Lobo and the boys. And Lobo was now snapping at him on the phone in exactly the same Spanish. He wouldn't be paid to blaspheme and gossip.

Dylan said goodbye to Miguel with a fist bump. He would have preferred a deep French kiss. But Miguel was a prude. Too bad, really. Well, maybe Dylan would be able to suck off one of the boys in the store later. As the youngest in the team, he was the one furthest down the hierarchy. And as an accountant, he was worth less than the money collectors, pimps or protection racketeers on the team. The others chose when and how he was allowed to have fun. When he arrived with the tacos, he took a quick look in the mirror: yes, he was the gringo on the team. But he worked hard on his body, his language and his attitude. He did everything he could to fit in.

It was only a short bus ride to his apartment. He shared a room with a couple of guys who worked in one of Lobo's restaurants, with whom he laundered money. They were cool. They helped Dylan improve his Spanish, they always brought food from the restaurant in the evenings and if none of the guys from Lobo's headquarters felt like playing with the gringo, Dylan always had the chance to fill a hole or get one filled. Not that early though, the guys rarely finished work before 10pm. So Dylan took the opportunity, swapped jeans for nylon shorts and boots for sneakers and headed for the pull-up bar in the small park around the corner. Time for a little workout.

The next morning, Dylan's morning wood led him straight to the bathroom. The boys hadn't come home until around 02:00 and he didn't want to disturb them. But fuck, his morning wood was almost painful. He stood in front of the mirror, sucked in the smell from his armpit and jerked off with his other hand. Shit, he was 19 years old now, this permanent horniness of puberty had to be over by now. But…. No… It…. Was… FUUUUUUUCK! Not over yet. Dylan wiped the mirror and the sink clean. Shit, too late to shower again. The boys had probably dropped off the last day's takings by now and if he didn't finish booking them by the time Lobo arrived, there'd be trouble. So he quickly wiped his upper body with the washcloth, brushed his teeth and set off.

When Dylan arrived at the store, no one was there except Juan. Juan repaired the boys' bikes. He'd been doing that since Lobo was still shitting in his diapers. And now he was working on Dylan's baby. Technically, it wasn't his yet. But if the month went as he expected, it would be his bike by the end of the month. Finally, no more of this damn bus driving. He hated riding the bus, almost like he hated that his parents had given him that silly name “Dylan”. That's why he'd been nicknamed “Gringo” by Lobo and his boys right from the start.

17,776.00 dollars. Less than the day before. Lobo would be fuming. But Dylan's job as an accountant was done. All the income had been properly booked to the restaurant, the laundry and the motorcycle workshop. Even though he himself stank of sweat and musk, his books were all clean and tidy. Maybe he could give Lobo a blowjob to thank him when he arrived. And then Dylan would take care of booking the expenses.

Pic by @ki-kink

[ki-kink]

Yo, if you didn't know the answer, you had to take a deep inhale from his hairy armpits, like bruh, that's some funky motivation to push yourself while studying. Some peeps be playing dumb on purpose just to catch a whiff of that stank, I mean, say what?!

[debitdebbie]

Coping with the loss of my bbg

[futureusmcboot]

Sometimes I wish someone would just take care of my financial responsibilities and mold me into a muscle loving jocked out thuggy redneck bro

[khaosritual]

R.I.P I posted this before finding out, it’s been my jam this week

[hvly]

one of my coworkers (who has never stepped foot out of the state i live in, let alone the area we work) just said he’s GDK 🧍🏾‍♀️

[chaossturns]

𝐕𝐄𝐆𝐀𝐒 𝐁𝐀𝐁𝐘 | 𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐓 𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐎𝐋𝐎

⋆⑅˚₊ — synopsis: you and the triplets visit Las Vegas for the weekend but when you guys go out to party, the tension rises between you and matt

⋆⑅˚₊ — pairing: dom!matt x poc!reader

⋆⑅˚₊ — warnings: swearing, alcohol consumption, backshots, p in v, unprotected sex (wrap up tf), oral (fem!receiving), slight choking, use of pet names, spanking, and overstimulation

a/n: the smut was a bit rushed only bc this intro was long as fuck , but this fic has me going insane. also come here to join the taglist !!

⋆⑅˚₊ — word count: 2.4k (longest one yet)

not proofread

Warm summer air drifted around your body, goosebumps jumping across your skin as the wind blew. Chattering bouncing off the building walls, echoing out into the air.

“How much longer do we have to wait?” Chris whines, becoming impatient with the line of people waiting to enter the club. “Dude, shut up we don’t have long.” Matt says, rolling his eyes at Chris’s behavior.

It was currently 10:30 pm, the heat was absolutely excessive at this time of night. You had gotten invited by Matt to go on this quick trip, but he practically had to beg you to come.

𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐊

 “C'mon please.” He said, putting his hand in a praying position. “We’ll have fun. Nick will be there which means you won’t be as bored.” He continued. Matt had a point, but you still weren’t budging.

“Matt, are you serious right now?” You ask, a small laugh dropping for your lips. “I’m dead serious.” He says, looking down at you with a small pout on his face. “We can go out and do the things you want, just come with please.” He said one last time, hoping you will finally agree with his continuous begging.

You thought about it, the gears clicking in your head. But you don’t know why Matt wanted you to go so bad. “Okay fine Matt, I’ll go.” You say, making Matt smile ear to ear as those words left your lips. “You won’t regret it.” He says, walking back towards his room.

𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄

You were dressed in a dazzling, sparkly dress. The gems glistening underneath the shining lights upon the building, your heels doing the same. Matt was taking in the view of you, examining how your dress had a snug fit around your curves. He watched as you engaged in a conversation with Nick, your smile peaking out as he cracked a joke.

You feel eyes burning in the side of your face, turning your attention on Matt as his eyes effortlessly scaled your body. Your teeth nibble on your bottom lip as his eyesight fixes on you, causing him to drop his head and continue his chat with Chris.

“Girl, hello.” Nick says, waving his hand in front of your face. Your cheeks burn in embarrassment from being caught staring at your friend's brother. “Yeah, sorry I was jus–.” You start to say. “Mhm yeah I saw, you have to make a move before someone scoops him up.” Nick says. He knew you always found his brother utterly handsome, but you weren't sure if it was initially fine for the feelings to be up in the air.

After Nick finishes his sentence, you’re next up in line. The security does the normal ID check and lets you pass. The sound of Lil Baby’s voice rang throughout the club like a bell, men and women’s bodies buzzing with energy. You feel Nick’s hand grasp onto your wrist, breaking you out of your trance.

“Let's go get a drink bitch!” He yells, making sure you were able to hear him over the blaring music. He drags you to the bar, ordering four shots of vodka for the both of you. Nick downs his two in an instant, leading you to clutch the shot glasses and do the same. Your face scrunches up in disgust, reminding you how much you hated vodka.

As you and Nick were still congregated by the bar, the song “Throw Sum Mo” by Rae Sremmurd ft. Nicki Minaj & Young Thug began to play. You squeal, wrapping your hand around Nick's bicep and hauling him towards the dance floor.

Ass fat (uh, bust it), yeah I know, you just got cash (mm, bust it)

Blow sum mo’ (word), blow sum mo’ (bust it), blow sum mo’

The more you spend it, (yeah, bust it), the faster it go (yeah, go)

Bad bitches (bust it), on the floor (uh huh)

You and Nick are now in the middle of the floor, singing Nicki’s lyrics under as you point and look at Nick.

It’s rainin’ hundreds (bust it), throw sum mo’ (okay)

Throw sum mo’ (yeah, bust it), throw sum mo’ (word)

Throw sum mo’ (yeah), throw sum mo’

Nick now pulls out his phone, turning the flash on and recording you.

“HI, BYE HATER, I FLOOD THE CLUB WITH PAPER.” You yell, maintaining eye contact with the camera as you continue to rap along. “SHORTY GOT A ASS, SOME FOR NOW AND SOME FOR LATER.” You continue, turning your back towards the camera, and bending over while shaking your ass.

“YES,” He screams, “FUCK IT UP BITCH!” He says, playfully smacking your ass as it recoils. After a few more seconds you stand up straight, resuming your rapping with Nick. He comes closer to you, reaching in to ask you a question. “I’m going back to the bar, do you want anything to drink?” He says. “Yes please, can you get me a vodka lemonade?” You ask, your throat now needing a drink to replenish its dryness. He nods, marching his way to the lit up counter.

You stay where you are, slightly swaying your hips to the song as you wait for Nick. Pulling your phone you go to your camera, making sure your makeup is still intact. By the time you finish Nick comes up against you, passing you the cold drink. “Thank you babe!” You exclaim, giving him an air kiss. He smiles, persistently taking sips from his drink.

The music changes, Flo Milli’s voice filling the room as her song “Never Lose Me” plays.

Never had a bitch like me in your life

And you ain’t never had a bitch like me in your life, uh

Never had a bitch like me in your life

You ain’t never had a bitch like me in your life (yeah)

Nick’s arm extends up, holding your hand in his as you spin and drop down while shaking your ass. You come back up, singing along to the song as you feel a presence behind you. Without checking who it is, you begin to grind on the person's body. Nick, who was turned, faces you with his eyes immediately widening. This makes you toss your head up, getting a view on who was behind you.

The familiar face of Matt was staring down at you, a sly smirk resting on his lips. You try to move away from him, but his arms which are wrapped around your waist prohibit you from doing so. “Don’t stop ma, continue dancing.” He says, leaning down and placing a small kiss on your neck. Your grip on the cup becomes tight, becoming all flustered from being this close to Matt.

Your eyes flicker to Nick’s, confused on what to do in this situation. Nick see’s the unsure on your face, deciding to remove himself from the current predicament and leave you and Matt alone. Matt spins you around, placing your chin between his fingers as his thumb caresses the side of your cheek.

“You looked so good out there. It had me going absolutely crazy.” He says, the smell of alcohol present in his mouth. He grabs your cup and takes a plentiful amount from his mouth, using his pointer finger to open your mouth, and letting the liquor fall from his mouth into yours. You reluctantly swallow, prolonging your eye contact with Matt’s blue orbs that are swirling with lust and desire.

Your body became rather hot and bothered, not knowing if it was from the people surrounding you or the current tension between you and Matt. His lips find his way to yours, closing the gap between each other entirely. It was like the room went totally silent, his mouth smoothly mushed with yours, and moved in such passion. Your hand finds its way to his cheek, squeezing onto it for dear life. Matt’s tongue invades your mouth, dancing around with yours as you fight for dominance.

“We should take this to the room.” You say between kisses, the makeout session becoming to steamy for the public eye. Matt simply nods his head, calling an uber, and pulling you out the club to the outdoors.

As you waited Matt placed you in front of him, his fingers brushing your hip as he planted soft kisses along your bare shoulder. You shudder underneath his touch, your legs rubbing together to get some friction. Just before Matt spoke up, the uber had pulled up, and you immediately made your way to the car. Music quietly played in the background, the traffic not being too much of a hassle at this time of night. Matt’s hand crept between your thighs, fumbling with the lacey fabric of your panties. Your legs squeeze shut, arousal beginning to build up.

“Matt, cut it out.” You say into his ear, knowing the hotel is only a block from where you are. “I can’t mama, I need you so bad.” He says, his fingers itching closer to your clit. This time your hand meets his, removing it from below your dress. Luckily after you did this the uber park outside your hotel, leaving Matt to hastily get out and practically yank you out the car.

“Impatient are we?” You tease him, your heel clacking on the hotel lobby floors. While reaching the elevator Matt repeatedly presses the up button, the need of being inside you overtaking his mind. A bell dings, the doors to the elevator automatically opening. Matt steps in first and clicks the 16th floor button, the doors shutting shortly after. He turns to you, pinning your arms above your head as he attacks your plush lips.

He uses his free hand to grasp your thighs, wrapping them around his torso. The hardness of his dick is perfectly aligned with your heat, making you rub against him. A low moan leaves your mouth, Matt’s tongue clashing with yours. The sound of the bell occurs again, causing his grip on your arms to loosen and wrap them around his neck. He carries you to the room, earning a click from the door as the keycard connects.

When you enter the room a chilling air rushing over your body, making you shiver as Matt kicks the door shut. He plops you onto the bed, your boobs jumping from the sudden action. Matt gets down on his knees and pries your legs open, revealing the wetness soaked into your panties.

“Who made you this wet hm?” Matt asks, the feeling of his lips tracing kisses from your calf to your inner thighs. “You Matt.” You whimper out, his lips now pressing against your core. You feel his arms enclose around your pelvis, the warmth of his tongue swiping against your folds giving you a sense of relief. His mouth is working wonders upon you, the point of his nose grazing your sensitive bud.

The sound of your pussy being sucked and slurped bounced off the hotel room walls, your hand drifting down to Matt’s soft locs, clutching onto them with a harsh grip. A groan emits from his throat, your body feening for more as the vibrations flood every inch of your body. Constant whines drop from your lips, grinding your lower half onto Matt’s face.

“Oh fuck.” You say, releasing uneven breaths as Matt continues his tortuous licks. He drags his fingers down to your clit, his muscle entering your soaked hole. A drawn-out moan pours out of you, the pleasure from his fingers working on your clit and his tongue dipping in out of you driving you over the edge.

“M’close Matt.” a series of broken moans being put out into the air. “C’mon, give it to me baby.” He says, his words being slightly muffled due to how buried he is in your pussy. He drags a few more laps before your cum leaks onto his tongue. Matt licks up the rest of your juices before coming up, his hands reaching to undo your dress latched around your neck. Your boobs are now free, the cold air flowing in the air causing your nipples to become hard.

Matt stands up straight pulling his black tee over his head and unzipping the zip of his shorts, the material of the shorts rubbing together as they fall to the floor. His hard dick was protruding through his black boxers, aching to be released from their restraints.

“Face down, ass up for me mama.” He says in a sultry voice, watching as you comply with his request. You hear his feet shuffle behind you, the palm of his hand sending a strident slap to your ass. You yelp out, the stinging sensation piercing into your skin. Matt rubs the spot he slapped, trying to reduce the pain level.

You crane your neck to see Matt pump himself in his hand, sending you a slick smile before his tip reaches your entrance. He slips in easily, your slick making it effortless as he starts to plunge thoroughly. A pornographic moan leaves your throat, your fingers gripping onto the lush comforter beneath you. Matt was stretching you out in the most perfect way ever, your walls pulsating around his length.

Matt thrusts his hips into yours at a surreal pace, the hotel bed letting out quiet squeaks. Low moans could be heard from behind you, his fingernails digging into your skin.

“Fuck mama, you’re so tight.” Matt grunts, diving deeper into your drenched cunt. From this position he was reaching angles that seemed entirely impossible to get to. “you’re s-so deep.” you whimper out, the way his dick is brushing against your walls makes your eyes roll to the back of your head.

He quickens the speed of his strokes and puts one his legs on the bed, creating an ungodly pressure to form in your lower abdomen. “It’s too, mm, much Matt” your body slowly inching away from him. “Nope, take it.” He grits out, pulling your body closer as he trails his fingers down to toy with your clit.

“Shit Matt!” You exclaim, tears clouding your vision as Matt rubs you clit at an animalistic level. His name left your throat a thousand times, the pleasure becoming unbearable. He removes his fingers from your bud, attaching them to your neck, and gently presses them down on your neck.

An extraordinary amount of relief flushes over your body as you came, earning an ear piercing moan echoing through the air. Matt was still continuing his work inside you, the sensation becoming overwhelming.

You felt your insides suffocate his dick, feeling his dick twitch as his strokes come to stop. The warmth of Matt’s cum on your back spreads throughout your body, a moan following after. You fall on the bed, heavy breaths leaving your mouth.

“So, do you regret coming to Vegas, baby?” Matt asks, pressing a small smack to your ass as he retreats to the bathroom.

tags: @mattscoquette @mattslolita @luverboychris @l0ver-i @sturnsslut @bigbeefybitch @rileysturniolo @itsnotmariahh @summerssover @mattssluttygf @hoesformatt @sturniyolo69 @luvs4matt @immattsslut

[numberonedukethomasapologist]

Random gothamite: SO last week right?

It's hotter than a witches tits in latex- so I made some homemade Popsicles that you can also feed to pets.

I also had my windows and doors open- yea I know that's dangerous in gotham but it's hot asf and who's causing major world ending crime in this heat? I also have my gun, duh

But anywho- I'm sitting on my balcony with me dog and cat (giggles and shitter) and the tiny stabby robin drops down from who knows where-

Now I've encountered this robin before when I was kidnapped (long story) I also know from social media that this robin loves animals

And so he's standing there a bit awkwardly

So I ask if he wants to pet my pets

He gives a lil nod- then I ask if he wants a Popsicle cuz this poor baby look like he's bout to melt into a puddle

After a pause he nods (it's the most adorable unsure nod ever and it gave me big whiplash after watching him pummel the those kidnappers) so I go back inside and give him a Popsicle and he eventually starts eating it while petting both animals who squeezed into his lap

And I'm like "omfg this is the cutest shit I've seen all week" and of course I snap a pic of it (perfect lighting and all) I posted it to the "cute sword robin moments" tag on Twitter (you have to look under that tag it's the equivalent of funny n cute cat memes)

But after that whole ordeal (he finishes his Popsicle and leaves abruptly) it's like a few days later and I'm stuck in between a fight against a group of thugs and THE FUCKING BATMAN

I don't even know how I got there I was just walking from getting off of work (my car got exploded, long story)

And so I'm just standing there watching it go down (no I'm not scared- this is a weekly occurrence, after the first few times of watching a fight it just becomes a nuisance

But after he has these guys all tied up and knocked tf out seeing the bat got me thinking bout the Robin's and then I'm like "wait? Would the bat like to see the picture??"

So before he grapples away (also, rude?? I just had to sit and watch your ass fight and block my only path, and then your just gonna leave??) And I just yell "hey I got a cute pic of the small robin if you wanna see it!!" Tell me why he drops down so fast and is immediately standing infront of me?!? Lowkey had me backing up a bit

But I pull out my phone and show him the pic

I'm being so dead ass when I tell you I heard him CHUCKLE!! THE FUCKING BATMAN CHUCKLED?!

He also got me to airdrop the picture to him and keep my mouth shut about the interaction (yes I'm telling you the whole story- but the bat is kinda like a weird quiet uncle who looks threatening but when your around him more he starts to become the uncle that you can roast the shit out off and he'll just awkwardly laugh- I know cuz ive cussed him out once and he went and brood in a fucking corner?? What I'm tryna say is- he won't do shit to me cuz im a gothamite 🤷🏽‍♂️)

Anyway- but yea? Crazy experience.

Only in gotham lmao

[lightning-and-sparks]

No fucking way Loose Yourself isn’t a prequel map because how tf are you going to look me in the eyes and tell me that after all your bffs get kidnapped you start thugging it up in the streets?

[restinslices]

This one's majorly because I want your funny take on it bc my mind can't decide LMAO. Could I request LKBS when their daughter or kid is being flirted with/asked out. I majorly think Bi-Han would tweak tf out but pretend he isn't buuut- I'm here for your take on it!

My bad for the wait anon. I've been sick for over a week and I was tryna wait for it to pass but it's still here sooo imma stop waiting and thug it out. My body hates me. I'm typing this on my phone and tumblr is so glitchy on here. Imma start biting my walls-

Bi-Han is for sure tweaking on the inside

It's not even just the fact that his daughter is being flirted with. It's the fact that this is happening IN FRONT of him

That gif is what he wants to do

Now do I think Bi-Han is like "oh my little girl can NEVER date?

No.

Do I think that he thinks dating shouldn't be their priority?

Yes.

She should focus on other things he deems important before getting distracted and dating

Bi-Han would just be standing there like the Hash Slinging Slasher while this rando is flirting with his daughter

If she starts flirting back, which she probably would, I could legit see him walking over and making his presence known

The poor teenagers-

"Bàba this is Dylan" "Hi Mr-"

Bi-Han grabs his daughter by the top of the head and starts walking away

It doesn't hurt. He just has a very firm hold and is like "we're going this way"

The absolute audacity to flirt in front of him? What happened to respect? Decorum?

Back in his day, he would NEVER do such a thing in front of his father. And he let that bitch die.

"Hey! Why did you do that?" "That boy is no good for you" "You don't even know him!" "Look at his arms. They're skinny. He can't protect you. He'd be dead weight"

Wow. I always love our talks Bi-Han :D

I don't think Kuai Liang would start tweaking, but I think he shares the same views as Bi-Han

There's just certain things he thinks is inappropriate to do in front of parents

And by "in front of parents" these two mean "in the same area". Doesn't matter if they're on the other side of the room

"Harumi, who is that boy?" "That's Dylan! Him and (name) are rather close" "Oh so she told you about Dylan but not me?

I don't think he necessarily wants to pull her away, but he would wanna make his presence known

Y'all know how some dads are with their daughters. She's his Princess and the thought of her growing up tugs at their heart

He wants to go over and stop the whole scene but Harumi tells him no

So instead he pretends he's not staring but definitely is

This mf has the most intense gaze as he's watching them. Harumi got a tight grip on him. She needs a damn leash

At some point his daughter and Dylan (idk why this name is sticking-) look over

He's just standing there... menacingly!

"Um, Dylan, I gotta go. I don't think my dad is happy"

Meanwhile "See what you did?" "I'm just standing here"

Exactly. You're just standing there and being a creeper

If this mf dies in Khaos Reigns, y'all are never seeing me again

Moving on-

I'm not exactly sure how Tomas would react

On one hand, he's grown up with Kuai Liang and Bi-Han, so he probably shares some of the same ideas and mentality

On the other hand, I just don't see him having a strong reaction

He prefers if this wasn't happening in front of him, but he kinda knows that teens don't be thinking fr

One thing's for certain though, he better not see SHIT become physical over there

No shoulder touching, no hand touching, no kissing, no hugging for too long-

It's just a bit too much

Tries to act like he's doing other shit but his eyes keep darting

Like bitch you're never pretending to be counting leaves. Didn't think this through, did you?

I can imagine his daughter looking over and being like "Hey papa! What are you doing?

"Nothing. Me? Haha... just hanging around"

"Would you like to meet Dylan?" "Well if you insist"

Actually talks to Dylan

Yay!

[octuscle]

Bro you're not gonna believe this, my nerd roommate is running a game of dungeons and dragons that hooked up to this "chronivac" app, says it makes the characters extra interactive. Was playing a rogue then suddently got hit with a "brute curse" haaha We're supposed to play again tomorrow but i think my class got changed or smth?.......maaan it's hot in this room

In my opinion, the kids play way too much in front of the screen. Get more fresh air. Don't play gangsters. Be gangsters! We used to play cops and robbers in my village. What fun we had…

Yes, that was a bad curse… Instead of your warm room, you're in a warehouse. It's pretty dark, so the less light there is on the street, the better… You hold your breath. But obviously no one has followed you. No engine noises. No sirens. And no flashing blue lights under the roller grilles. You quietly open the trunk of the inconspicuous Volkswagen. Bloody hell… You can't believe you were successful. The blowing up of the ATM went like a picture book. You can only make a rough guess… But it will be a few thousand dollars. Shit, you always get a boner when you see that much money. But you don't have time to jerk off to the money. You stash the loot in your safe in the back room. You burn your clothes in the oven. Now all you have to do is wash off the dust and soot from the blast. And then you can have a really fun evening with a few hookers and hustlers.

The picture of you, freshly showered from the shower, is only online on Instagram for a few minutes. Caption: "It's been a successful day, whos celebrating w/ meh?" You're going to have a lot of fun today… The first police cars are parked outside…

Brute pic found @maxx-magnum

[ki-kink]

Yo, dat dude used to be da prince in his pops' empire. But den he chugged a can of dat Mexican energy drink. Damn, dat stuff was off da chain! Now he be speakin' broken English and rocking dat Cholo-style Spanish, but he's da king of his own janitorial kingdom, yo!

[cyarsk5230]

I could p*nch tf out a Black Trump supporter fr G lmao keep dat SHIT the fuck away from me

How you gonna support someone who has said some horrible things about your race? He called the BLM protestors thugs four years ago! That’s him saying n word without him saying the n word

And by n word I meant ni**er.

[meganelixabethh]

I know Silas is a fan fav; but at the beginning of Magyk I HATE this man. During the assassination attempt and subsequent fleeing I think you could reasonably argue that Marcia is having the worst time of anyone in the party (if she is second to anyone it’s Sep, and even then it’s close). This woman has relived the worst day of her life, gotten stinky and slimy (and we all know she’s ND so that would be hell) and then harnessed so much magyk she almost ceased to be a human while everyone acted like she was doing nothing that hard at all, in order to save everyone’s lives for a SECOND time in this sequence of events (and don’t forget in all of this she also managed to save Sally Mullin too).

Then, just as she thought they might be safe for a bit (it’s midnight on this beach and she was awoken very early by alther if you recall from the Scene of Hair Curlers™️, so she’s probably creeping up on 20 hours of being awake) Alther comes and tells her 1) the one terrible thing she thought she’d done enough to stop happening had, in fact, happened. 2) the only person we hear Marcia mention with any kind of positive attitude; and by extension, someone she could trust, is dead. 3) that person was murdered as a direct result of number 1. 4) Not only has this insane sociopath that would very much like her dead not only invaded her place of work, that clearly makes up part of her identity, but also 5) moved into her HOME (siri play my tears ricochet by taylor swift) which is an absolute violation.

The Very Short List of people Marcia trusts and cares about gets another person on it murdered, and Marcia does not have the time to mourn her AT ALL because she knows she needs to focus on how she can undo this mess without causing the death of a ten year old girl. And what does Silas say? ‘The custodians are simply a load of thugs any *decent* ExtraOrdinary Wizard would have seen off years ago’. Be so fucking real right now. Fuck you man. She saved your sorry arse TWICE. She kept you and your family alive for TEN YEARS. SHES THE ONLY REASON YOU DIDN’T WATCH YOUR TEN Y/O KID GET VIOLENTLY MURDERED. SIT TF DOWN.

[evrensadwrn]

How well would you do if you were Marquis?

warning: angry evren, me cussing the SHIT out of marquis de gramont, copious amounts of uppercase screaming, so much aggression lmao

First of all, I would be SMARTER alright than this bitch

YEAH. THIS VINCENT MOTHERFUCKER. IS A STUPID LITTLE FUCKING CUNT. “Caine is everything John is not🥺🥺” SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU STUPID LITTLE BITCHHHHHHH OH MY GOD BRO YOU ARE LITERALLY ASSIGNED AUTEM IMPERATOR AND YOURE FUCKING STUPID?????????? CAINE IS STILL BLIND YOU MOTHERFUCKER😭

First off, I would instead burn down the fucking New York Continental with everyone inside. Is it a crime? Obviously. But he blew it the fuck up anyways so really what’s the wrong part in it??? THAT SAVES ME FROM HAVING WINSTON TAKE JOHN TO THE RIGHT PLACES. BECAUSE HE IS DEAD ASF.

NEXT THING: I wouldn’t even raid the osaka continental. nah. JUST KIDDING I FUCKING WOULD LMAOOO. GET THESE HIGH TABLE FORCES IN THERE. AND I DONT WANNA SEE NONE OF THESE WACK ASS SAMURAI RIPOFF UNIFORM OR THESE GREY SUITS.

LIKE CHIDI BABES YOU SERVED THE FUCK OUT OF THESE GREY SUITS BUT THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY. THAT YOU ARE. RAIDING A WHOLE ASS HOTEL. IN FUCKING SUITS.

YES THEYRE BULLETPROOF I DO NOT CARE. MYRMIDONS BETTER PUT ON THOSE HIGH TABLE SPECIAL FORCES UNIFORM. “They dont have the funds-“ DONT CAREEEEEE I HAVE INFINITE WEALTH BACKED BY THE TABLE THEY WILL FIND A FUCKING WAY TO PUT CHIDI THE MYRMIDONS INTO THESE DAMN OUTFITS

anyways so next thing i would pick CHIDI as the mf to fight for me. cause caine is BLIND. im sorry to break it to people but that mf missed like several shots😭 cause he is BLIND

+ chidi is a fucking tank. he took so MUCH fucking hits and the mf kept standing up + he’s built so differently like this bro had a whole fucking ARROW inches deep into his motherfucking arm and he thugged it the SHIT out. he CONTINUED FIGHTING WITHOUT MEDICAL ATTENTION

anyways im gonna put the duel in a cathedral or a castle so if i do die it’s gonna be giving vampire that just got her heart ripped apart ong

ALSO IM PULLING UP TO THAT DUEL IN ONE OF THESE BABY

and so that if i DO die the mortuary doesn’t have to strip my cold naked ass and just pop me in the casket with all my beautiful family members at my funeral and hopefully one of them gets inspired to do the same and like. idk. change the trajectory of history?💀

“what if the table tells you to pipe tf down you psycho bitch?” good question!

No

next course of my plan is that i send every mf in europe on his john’s ass (omg marianne from tkg era) like im gonna put his bounty up like wayyy before that duel alr. in fact. im specifically making sure that bounty STAYS high as hell to the point it lowkey looks like im putting the high table economy in shambles(french nobility core) so that tracker has like more will to hunt him? if that makes sense lmao.

if i win the duel i of course marry chidi celebrate by going to jollibee expand my influence under the table greatly :D

If I die well. at least i served evil bitch cunt so

and ofc like marquis im gonna serve face while doing all these more atrocious shit ♡︎

[lanternbats]

Ok, do you know how much I love the idea of Bruce and Hal being married before Hal becomes Green Lantern? BECAUSE I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!! I've literally thought about secret batlantern marriages FOREVER. Because of that, I apologize in advance for the long message. 🙂❤️

Ok, but imagine bringing the kids into the family..... Since Hal is gone for like a month or two on assignment I feel like Brice would just see Dick, and with no one there to stop him, he'd just say "mine" and like forget to tell Hal (or "forget" cuz he's scared Hal would say no) and then Hal comes home and sees Dick and is like. Who tf are you? Like where did you come from? How did you get into my house? And then Dick would just be excited to meet Hal, cause you CAN NOT tell me that Bruce wouldn't gush like a school girl with a crush about Hal (when he's prompted correctly). And thus begins the adoptions that just happen when Hal is on month long assignments.

He comes back from space tired, ready to lay down and just be with family, and boom Jason. Then he finds out Bruce is like the worst at communicating when someone's not there to interpret for him. (The relationship between Bruce and Dick is slowly healed by Hal literally just saying, "That 'hm' means he was worried, that running off to fight thugs in dark alleys ALONE and WITHOUT A COMMUNICATOR really worried him and him sewing a tracker into your suit isn't fully about control, it's really more about needing to find you if that happens again. WHICH IT SHOULD NOT!") Hal would be able to bond with Jason over losing one parent and then it's like the other fell apart. (Obviously they had VERY different upbringings, Jason lived on the streets and Hal had shelter and a kinda support system (idk I think that since Hal was really close to his dad and looked more like him (?) His mom like could not stand to really be around him. But she still loved him, like they just really had a complicated relationship, but then he told him family he wanted to join the air force and suddenly it was like the support system and shelter and love that had been there dried up and he went through the airforce and the everything alonr until he met Bruce.) Anyway, I think that he'd have a pretty good relationship with both Dick and Jason. And that in one of the months where a galaxy ending disaster wasn't happening would be when Jason finds out about Shelia and the whole trust fallout between Bruce and Jason happened. So once again Hal plays the mediator once again and before he's called away again, Jason takes Bruce to Ethiopia with him. (Hal isn't there for the fallout, for the injuries that Jason sustained. He's not even able to be contacted due to how far out he's had to go. It takes him 2 months to come home.)

He returns, and Tim's there. Tim who is apparently not adopted yet, as he is Jason's new friend. He finds his son with randome child #3 in his house helping Jason up the stairs. Jason who has a thick cast on his leg and a cast on his arm with bandages peaking out from his collar. (I think Hal would have like a beak down with Bruce about not being there. Like he has a ring. He was called away a day before everything went down, and he could have prevented the almost crippling of his child, he could have supported his husband and children as they all basically came to the realization that no matter who they fight, how they fight, who they fight with no one really lives forever.) Hal takes leave from the Coorps as long as he can, going back to work for Ferris Air (or Wayne Enterprise's airplane engineering department whatever you want). They slowly pull Tim into the family, learning more and more about the neglect and abuse he's lived through. After a lot, a LOT of lawyer fees, Tim is able to stay with the Waynes permanently. But like all good things, Hals time with his family comes to an end. He returns to space this time with a transmitter that can cover the distance of the universe if it needs to.

Hal's return to the family for the next couple years are uneventful. Until Damians arrival. Damian who begins his life at Wayne Manor with the attempted murder of Tim. And another attempted murder of Tim. And another attempted murder of Tim. A kinda attempted murder of Dick, but one could argue he was just being annoying. Hal's return to the Manor brings the order that they had been lacking. (I kinda think that since Hal grew up in a military household he's a stricter parent. Like he'd definitely be a duper fun parent, take the kids out on adventures and have a great time with them when he can/could but there would be rules that he like 100% would not let up on. Like patrol on a school night ends at 11:30 and if not they're grounded from patrol for the next two nights. Bruce would probably be strict too, but more so in the field. Like the kids could look at him and call him dad and he would break like a piece of angel hair spaghetti.) Anyway, Hal would be able to support Bruce through the idea and fact that he'd been raped. I think Hal and Bruce would have separately gone through a LOT of therapy and like couples therapy too. Not just sprung on by the arrival of Damian, but because Hal had kind of forced Bruce into it after his overprotective nature had pushed Dick away. It might have started as a way to learn better communication, but it ended in Bruce staying with his doctor at Hal's recommendation. (read: Hal noticed Bruce's better regulation of feelings and coping mechanisms and forced him to continue to go to therapy.) Anyway, I think Hal would have a good relationship with Damian, against all the odds. Hal would be the structured support and rules that Damian had grew up with and had been missing since coming to Wayne Manor. Leaving after Damian was a difficult trip. But staying wasn't an option, his departure was just as hard as all the others.

Cass' addition to the family would've taken Hal off guard, if he hadn't been informed. (Communication coming in clutch!) In meeting Hal, Cass had not trusted him. He held himself too wrong, too ridged, too frozen, too similar to her father. Her fear and suspicion had melted away the moment she saw him with Bruce and the other children. His eyes lit up, and his previous tension relaxed. It was in that moment that she knew she what she wanted. Cass and Tim almost immediately became inseparable. The ride or die kind of relationship that they shared led their siblings and parents alike to fear the combined power. Hal's rules practically doubled when they were together, should they plan or go for world domination, Bruce would be the one to deal with it.

As for Bruce and Hal's relationship. I think in the beginning they were very secretive. Bruce had suddenly returned to Gotham and subsequent take over of Wayne Enterprises had Bruce trying to keep the little privacy he had left under wraps. Hal had agreed wholeheartedly to keep the relationship a secret, knowing that once the news eventually reached his family there would be no more quietly whispered scheduled calls between himself and his brothers. No more sporadic text messages between him and his mother. No more shreds of the family he had clung to since being kicked out at 18. Over time, as more and more kids came into their lives the secritiveness of their relationship became too much to keep up with, it wasn't secret secret anymore, however it was a very private relationship. No one in Gotham/media knew they were together, however they weren't actively hiding it anymore. They just didn't advertise that they were together. As for the Justice League, Batman never joined. The Green Lanturns involvement in a organization of superheros was practically informed when the Coorps inevitably found out about it, however, Bruce never found it to be necessary to involve himself in the League, excluding large scale events where he and the rest of the family would make themselves known.

I think in the inevitably that they are found out, the news would break to the media first. A mistyped photo catching them kissing just outside of the gates of the manor or in a coffee shop on the edge of the Diamond District and suddenly the gossip rags of the city, and the major news conglomerates of the surrounding cities are blasting the news of Brucie Wayne's new relationship! With the subsequent findings of Bruce Wayne's new boy toy (suddenly found out to be HUSBAND!) Hal Jordan, a decorated Air Force veteran now working as a test pilot, while not in active duty, still working to preserve the lives of his friends and family. With his reveal to the public, Hal's relationship is revealed to the Justice League. And thus, the integration of the Batfamily into the Justice League begins.

Ok!!! So that was really long. Wayyyyy longer than I thought, but thank you for letting me share!!!! Anything I'm missing or you want to add would be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much for sharing their secret marriage, because I'm not going to lie, I've literally been thinking about this forever!!! Ok have a great day, thank you again!

Hi omg every concept you mentioned here is so interesting! I zoomed in so hard on "Jason lives" aspect especially, I’m so intrigued. I can totally see the “a death in the family” storyline having a different outcome if the family dynamic was different, but the sheer pain potential of Hal considering Jason a son and returning from space only to find out he died months ago… oh my god… (maybe I’m writing something about that very premise. Who knows.) Hal doesn’t play favourites doesn’t play favourites of course, but  like you said there is definitely an unspoken bond between Jason and Hal.  

I also understand surprisingly strict parent Hal, but I can totally see it in a more “You guys need to have regular lives outside of vigilante stuff and I am going to set some rules so that you can have that because we know Mr. Bat Suit over here doesn’t know what that even means.” so he takes them to sports games and movies and makes sure they have their homework done. “Please go and hang out with your friends or you’re grounded.” “What.” “Here I will literally give you money, just go to the mall and don’t fight anyone.”

And OH BOY. Damian. Let’s be real, Damian probably would have tried to kill Hal too if he was there when he arrived. What a mess that would be, Hal stay in space for a second dude. But anyways Hal and Damian’s dynamic is one of my faves to read fics about, I love the idea of Damian (post murder attempts) adoring Hal. Again, Hal would try his hardest to give Damian a normal childhood. I would also really like to see a fic where Bruce worked through what happened to him and how it resulted in a son and the very complex feelings that come with that.

Also? The concept of the bat family not joining the justice league but being Hal’s back up is so funny. Messing with the Green Lantern and expecting him to call the corps but no, his back up is a bunch of over protective bats. Good luck!