#throws up again
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part two of live sketches I did during my watch of Prime Defenders season one
These were the longer more-effort-involved shit since they’re comics
I wanted to add the rest of the drawings but the file fffFUCKING CORRUPTED and I had to duplicate & recolor & redo some of the lines so that’s . awesome.
The party scene with Doug & William that I did late at night and coming off a 🍃high so I Fucked up the colors
stupid fuckass yaoi
Vyncents magical girl transformation that’s REALLY messy and uncoordinated like I was shitting this out under 20 minutes to keep up with episode 10 😭😭
#🌻huevo art#VROWS UP#william wisp#Vyncent sol#ghostknife#ghostknife jrwi#throws up again#just roll with it#jrwi#jrwi fanart#just roll with it fanart#prime defenders#prime defenders fanart#COVERING MY FUCKING BASES MAN OKAY?#RULE ONE OF ONLINE ART CAREERS YOU GOTTA HAVE EXPOSURE#jrwi pd#jrwi prime defenders
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MOON!!!!! aaaa OMG I MISSED YOU WELCOME BACK!!!!
MISSED U TOO!!!!11!1!!!
#throws up again#my mental health never been better#i feel LOVED#bella what colour do u want#bella 🌿 tag
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am i cringing out of my own skin because a man just had the audacity to flirt with me, or because he referred to me as a woman while doing so? who knows! ✨ just ace ??gender things
#liz blogs#throws up. throws up. throws up. throws up. throws up. t#hhhghg#Viscerally Uncomfortable!#throws up again#im literally physically cringing so hard HHGHGHHBBH#NOT GOOD#PROLONGED PHYSICAL NEGATIVE REACTION#and i STILL can't figure out if im disconnected from the stereotypical idea of what a woman should be#or if i Am Not One#i like my girly shit i like being feminine but i dont like being a woman specifically what the FUCK is that shit#can i just be none gender. i dont even have a gender orientation im not even enby the box is just blank#not even agender or genderqueer or anything its literally just Blank#not even the designation of an absence theres just Nothing There Fam#throws up a 9th time#eghghgg its been like 15 minutes i feel like i'd be less grossed out if i accidentally shoved my palm through the ribs of a rotting carcass#thats a normal reaction to human interaction im sure#anyway!
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Do it Again
#good omens#ineffable husbands#aziracrow#crowley#aziraphale#do it again#kiss#i’m gonna throw up#help me jesus#help us#nvm#digitalart#myart
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Yet now, I find I've grown into a tall child 🌼
#art#artists on tumblr#digital art#dsmp fanart#dsmpblr#dsmp#dsmp tommy#tommyinnit#tommyinnt fanart#tommyinit dsmp#tommyinit mcyt#not cc#throwing up because he looks JUST like Phil#falls to my knees#im back in the fucking building again#c!tommy
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FNAF movie Mike gets banned from the Pizzaplex..
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#mike schmidt#vanessa afton#fnaf vanessa#vanessa shelly#abby schmidt#map bot#fnaf#fnaf movie#security breach#fnaf fanart#five nights at freddy's#Mike gets thrown outta a mall again 😔#TBH I haven’t focused enough on Mike’s other funny quirk#and that’s violence#THIS dude literally starts the movie beating up a guy#no way Mike wouldn’t throw at least one punch at a robo#Vanessa and Abby aren’t happy about it tho-#sorry to map bot but hey map bot mentioned 🔥
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seeing 5sos on monday i’m shitting and screaming
#i wasn’t supposed to be able to go#my trip there got canceled like#3 or 4 different times#shout out to saro for funding the trip#none of it would be possible without her <3#throws up#throws up again#im not gonn survive#worth it
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Adar had to die because if he, Gil-Galad and Elendil were all in Middle Earth at the same time there would have simply been too much Dad Energy ™️ for the populace to handle. They would have defeated Sauron through sheer “I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed” force alone.
#their combined parenting styles would have saved middle earth#they would have been too powerful i fear#they may also have possibly driven galadriel (millennia-old teen rebel extraordinaire) throw herself into an ocean or off a cliff AGAIN#‘the last alliance of elves and men’ nah just two Dads who have had it up to HERE with your bullshit#adar rings of power#adar#gil galad#high king gil galad#elendil#trop#the rings of power#gil-galad
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IT’S A RAINBOW OF BILLS! A BILLBOW! RGBILL!!!
The clip of Bill saying YELLOW was all over my FYP and it inspired me…
#bill cipher#gravity falls#the book of bill#will cipher#gravity falls fanart#i love him so much#my perfect equilateral#hes my son and my worstie and my bestie and my muse and also dead to me and is my everything#i love triangles#hes soooooo#silly guy#literally perfect#he makes me throw up#hes so ugly#jk hes beautiful#i love you bill cipher#sweet little awful piece of shit#he did it all but he doesnt deserve prison#he makes me cry#but i also want to strangle him#and hug him#he should die again#i will be there to love him#and remind him of his crimes#what a creature#sillay
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on a completely separate note; shizun luo binghe with a disciple shen yuan who fell into the abyss??? *thinks about LBH canonically stealing SQQ's corpse for 5 years* he'd hallucinate i think. like, like visual and audial hallucinations.
Keeps thinking he's seeing SQQ in the corner of his eyes, or wandering between the trees, amongst a group of disciples. Thinks he hears him calling for him, but its just the wind or another disciple.
Gets Xiu Ya reforged but patently fucking refuses to make a sword mound. Because his disciple Is Not Dead :))) There was No Body. He's Not Dead. And If You keep Insisting That He Is, He's Gonna Skewer You :). He's holding onto Xiu Ya so he can return his most favored disciple's sword when he returns. It's on his hip right next to Zheng Yang where it's supposed to be.
Also this motherfucker?? does not sleep btw. He has the image of SQQ, wide eyed and hysterical and standing at the mouth of the abyss burned into his fucking eyelids. Can't use the dreamscape to escape it either because he keeps trying to save him and either he does and it's an incredibly cruel trick to wake up to, or he doesn't and he gets his heart broken in several different pieces again.
There is no convincing this man that Shen Qingqiu is dead. Absolutely nothing at all. He is buried so deep in denial that moles would be jealous of how deep he is. He keeps making tea for two in the bamboo house only to remember that it's just him. SQQ's fans are hiding everywhere, little reminders of his presence. He goes to wake up SQQ on the mornings he sleeps in-- only to find the room empty.
#svsss#luo binghe#svsss au#scum villain#scum villian self saving system#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#disciple shen yuan#lbh. visibly exhausted and with twitchy eyes: im fine :) | everyone else: ho no the fuck you ARENT.#SQQ was hysterical not because he found out LBH was half-demon but bc he was having a long-awaited mental breakdown over his autonomy :)#or (limited) lack thereof. he was having a sudden onset crisis of mortality and was handling at quite literally the WORST time. oops#im thinking very hard that LBH would never push his disciple into the abyss especially with no system to force him to. so SQQ either#had to goad him into it (failing always) or throw himself in. he ended up doing it himself but not before some very impressive hysterics.#BUT ALSO. IF THIS HAD BEEN WHERE SQQ WAS THE HALF-HEAVENLY DEMON INSTEAD IT WOULD'VE BEEN SO GREAT.#and by great i mean horribly angsty bc SQQ is NOT doing too hot and has. in very SY-like fashion. convinced himself that LBH will kill him#when he finds out he's a demon. so when it comes out i have this mental image of him lunging at LBH and LBH flinches back. but SQQ wraps hi#hands around the blade of Zheng Yang and yanks it up so the tip of the blade is digging into his chest where is heart is. LBH can't yank th#sword away without risking slicing into SQQ's hands. SQQ's hair has fallen out of its tail/bun and is now messily spilling down his#back and its NO helping the kinda deranged look he has going on. he's visibly shaking and his eyes keep flittering away and back at LBH's#face. SQQ is looking at the messages from the system warning him that he has to go into the abyss or punishment will occur. he's like.#rambling though. talking about how shizun doesn't *like* unclean things and there is nothing more unclean than a demon. like he is#INSISTING. LBH can't?? get a fucking word in. actually. SY isn't listening that much either anyways. too overwhelmed with the system and#the amount of stress he's under and his crumbling mental state and the innate and primal desire to live even when he's standing in front of#his own executioner. it all ends with him sitting on the ground at the lip of the abyss with his hair falling in his face. he looks so#unkempt and fallen apart and so distinctly *non-Shen Qingqiu* that LBH feels physically ill over it. tears are streaming down SQQ's face#and despite everything he is smiling. its not a nice smile. its a very frayed falling apart at the seams about to crack smile.#he tells shizun not to worry about staining his blade with this disciple's filthy blood because this disciple will take care of it himself.#and then he falls into the abyss before luo binghe can so much as grab him. the only reason LBh doesn't literally jump in after him is bc#he was numb with shock and the abyss was already closed before he could feel his legs again :]
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they want to talk about mental illness and acceptance and how everyone is a little ocd it's cute and quirky and their "intrusive thoughts" are about cutting their hair off and you say yours are about taking a razorblade to your eye and they say ew can you not and everyone is a little adhd sometimes! except if you're late it's a personality flaw and it's because you are careless and cruel (and someone else with adhd mentions they can be on time, so why can't you?) and it's not an eating disorder if it's girl dinner! it's not mania if it's girl math! what do you mean you blew all of your savings on nonrefundable plane tickets for a plane you didn't even end up taking. what do you mean that you are afraid of eating. get over it. they roll their little lips up into a sneer. can you not, like, trauma dump?
they love it on them they like to wear pieces of your suffering like jewels so that it hangs off their tongue in rapiers. they are allowed to arm-chair diagnose and cherrypick their poisons but you can't ever miss too many showers because that's, like, "fuckken gross?" so anyone mean is a narcissist. so anyone with visual tics is clearly faking it and is so cringe. but they get to scream and hit customer service employees because well, i got overwhelmed.
you keep seeing these posts about how people pleasers are "inherently manipulative" and how it's totally unfair behavior. but you are a people pleaser, you have an ingrained fawn response. in the comments, you have typed and deleted the words just because it is technically true does not make it an empathetic or kind reading of the reaction about one million times. it is technically accurate, after all. you think of catholic guilt, how sometimes you feel bad when doing a good deed because the sense of pride you get from acting kind - that pride is a sin. the word "manipulation" is not without bias or stigma attached to it. many people with the fawn response are direct victims of someone who was malignantly manipulative. calling the victims manipulative too is an unfair and unkind reading of the situation. it would be better and more empathetic to say it is safety-seeking or connection-seeking behavior. yes, it can be toxic. no, in general it is not intended to be toxic. there is no reason to make mentally ill people feel worse for what we undergo.
you type why is everyone so quick to turn on someone showing clear signs of trauma but you already know the fucking answer, so what's the point of bothering. you kind of hate those this is what anxiety looks like! infographics because at this point you're so good at white-knuckling through a severe panic attack that people just think you're stoic. even people who know the situation sometimes comment you just don't seem depressed. and you're not a 9 year old white kid so there's no way you're on the spectrum, you're not obsessed with trains and you were never a good mathematician. okay then.
mental illness is trending. in 2012 tumblr said don't romanticize our symptoms but to be fair tiktok didn't exist yet. there's these series of videos where someone pretends to be "the most boring person on earth" and is just being a normal fucking person, which makes your skin crawl, because that probably means you are boring. your friend reads aloud a profile from tinder - no depressed bitches i fucking hate that mental illness crap. your father says that medication never actually works.
you still haven't told your grandmother that you're in therapy. despite everything (and the fact it's helping): you just don't want her to see you differently.
#writeblr#warm up#to be clear let me state again: i think you should id however you fucking want if it helps you seek peace#but there is a HUGE difference between being like '.... im undiagnosed but i think i might be X'#and a person who is like ''omg my intrusive thoughts made me buy a birkin!!!''#babe mine made me throw up bc they disgusted me so much <3#mine made me hurt myself evenly. even when i wanted to stop. i have had to put my hand on the stove MULTIPLE TIMES#and again i'd rather have 10000 people get help for something they don't need help for#than have 1 kid NOT get help#but there has GOTTTTT to be a middle ground here#bc at this point it isn't ''raising awareness''#it's . fucking misinformation. and ''what this picture says about you!!!!!''#& yes! im mostly talkin about ppl who are actually disgusted and offended by signs of mental illness#but use it to defend THEIR actions#like babe you hate when kids start yelling in the walmart? but you YOuRSELF can yell?#you are depressed so it's fine you were cruel to your spouse?#but if your spouse spends too much time in bed she's a lazy fuck?#your partner needs to do everything for you bc of your history in trauma? but when SHE has needs she's being clingy and gross?#HUGE difference here between whom i think most of my followers are btw. like#all it takes is fucking anyyyy empathy or kindness . like.#anyway it's hard to explain im hoping we all know the person im talking about lol
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forever thinking about royal’s bad ending. my thing with it is that maruki doesn’t necessarily give anyone what they want most, he gives them what’s most appropriate for them to want within a maruki-approved framework. iirc there’s a really interesting text sequence in the game where he just straight up changes someone’s career because they’re not “good” at it, regardless of whether that’s what they actually want. why struggle at all? ever? right?
and so ultimately i don’t think goro akechi’s greatest wish is necessarily ren. i think it’s a wish for sure, but his greatest wish is his own agency. despite any regrets he has and the fact that shido and yaldabaoth treated him like a pawn, he's generally pretty adamant about owning his choices and their consequences. he doesn't want that erased. and instead, you end up with pleasant boy™ if you take maruki’s deal. maybe maruki (incorrectly) thinks sanding off all of akechi’s rough edges will make him easier for ren to love. but the crux of it is really that maruki has to essentially lobotomize him to preserve the illusion of his perfect reality, because their ideologies are so diametrically opposed that akechi would spend every waking moment fighting back.
this isn’t to undermine ren’s importance to akechi btw — he explicitly acknowledges that he wishes they had met earlier, and there are countless moments throughout their confidant that underscore how much it means to him that they mirror each other so well. he absolutely does want more time with ren, just not under these circumstances.
and that’s also what makes ren’s choice on 2/2 doubly devastating. he knows that either way he loses akechi. and if he takes maruki’s deal, he loses him knowing that his last moments with the real akechi involved the two of them being unforgivably out of sync.
#shuake#ren amamiya#goro akechi#takuto maruki#persona 5#DOES THIS MAKE SENSE#this has been on my mind for ages#siri play ideal and the real dot mp3#like the two of them happily playing chess together hits hard bc in another life they could’ve had that#but the thing is#neither of them want another life! they just want each other as is!#me for the millionth time: takuto maruki most interesting antagonist of all time#tired of all the one dimensional evil villains#give me the pathetic wet cat man who projects his issues w his ex gf onto u and turns ur bf into a stepford wife ❤️#will the real goro akechi please stand up#*#wishing i had the time to replay this game for 3rd sem alone but alas. capitalism strikes again. adulthood is a scam#so instead i am rotating these guys endlessly in my mind and throwing my thoughts out into the void#eta: have really been enjoying seeing ppl's tags on this!!!#thank u for rotating them in ur mind as well
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Really fucked up that, when they’re young, Patrick and Art are SO tactile with each other, so comfortable sharing the same space. Art lets Patrick touch him and move him and physically overwhelm him and easily acquiesces to it, if not outright enjoys it.
Then in the present, they’ve been so far out of each other’s orbit for so long, held such animosity that when they have their moment alone in the sauna, Art physically recoils from Patrick’s close proximity! It’s so painful to watch because even as Patrick’s goading him, it’s so obvious he wants to be able to get back into Art’s space. But Art has erected all these walls around himself, he refuses to give Patrick an inch or even admit to missing how close they used to be!
AND THEN we see Art and Tashi later and he wants her to hold him, to be gentle with him, and just TOUCH him. Like, he does miss that kind of close physical contact! He either doesn’t know how to ask for it or is uncomfortable being that openly vulnerable. Worth noting that he pretty much always defers to Tashi in regard to initiating physical intimacy (with their first kiss, though he does state his desire, SHE has to be the one to make the first move). And it seems pretty obvious that Tashi herself isn’t comfortable providing that intimacy, whereas Patrick actively seeks to provide it (the hug/forehead kiss after their win together in the early years, dragging the stool closer to him).
Art has tried very hard to act like he doesn’t need physical affection and even though his discipline and devotion to Tashi has made him a stronger tennis player, it’s made him a hollow person, which, in turn, has kept him from becoming a GREAT tennis player.
All of this, of course, is why the ending hits so damn hard.
#challengers#challengers spoilers#art donaldson#unfortunately i have once again zeroed in on the most repressed character and made them my favorite#lol @ all the people saying he’s a manipulative snake: that’s part of what makes him great!#i think a fair amount of that manipulation or attempts at it come from a fear of loss and being alone#if he has to lose one to keep the other he’ll do it because it’s better than being left behind#hoo boy yet another character trait my fucked up faves have in common 😬#let’s not even get into how tashi AND patrick are trying to do right by him#tashi by making it so he can retire with a career to be proud of#patrick (who was pissed on art’s behalf wrt throwing the match) by laying all his cards on the table (court)#and giving art what he needed to play a great fucking game#there’s a whole other post to be written about how tashi and patrick handle art in similar ways#specifically that he submits to them so easily they take charge of him manipulate him the ways they want#good lord i need to see this movie again#or not might not be conducive to keeping my brain from melting out my ears lol
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patrick wearing arts shirt and ill assume art is wearing patricks tshirt i just noticed this. ill be sick
#same with pat repeatedly showing up in the i told ya tshirt#need to go to the movies and see challengers again im throwing up#challengers#hazel.txt
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I really feel like one of the best details in “A Scandal in Bohemia” that I never see people fixate on enough is that the story starts with Watson stopping in to see Holmes at Baker Street on a complete whim, because he happens to see that he’s home (and Watson is now married and living elsewhere). Like he doesn’t send word first, he’s not invited, he just shows up and surprises Holmes. Which is not that weird but then Holmes is like “oh good, I’ve got a case anyway, you might as well hang out!” which just makes it funnier when the King shows up and is like “I’d really rather speak to you alone, actually” and Watson tries to leave and Holmes is just like “anything you can say to me, you can say to my best friend John Watson, and if you ask him to leave, I would consider it a grave insult, you would be my enemy and I will not help you ever!!” And the king is like “…ok” and just moves on.
like, that is crazy behavior. Holmes is talking about how there’s probably lots of money in this case, and then almost turns away the client for…not knowing who the fuck Watson is?? He’s not even supposed to be there?? He just came to say hi?? “It is both or none”… girl, GET UP.
#I get it though#sometimes your bestie gets married and you don’t talk to him for weeks?? months??#because you’re normal about him and also have pretty serious adhd#so you forget that communication even exists on top of being very sad and lonely and burying it with work#and then he shows up at random and the object permanence kicks in again and you force him to help#with your latest case because otherwise who knows how long it will be until you get to hang out again#and you know you’ll need someone to throw a smoke bomb through a lady’s window AT SOME POINT#PROBABLY#you can’t commit minor crimes by yourself that’s boring!!#and Watson loves your dumb disguises! he’s always said so!#I know we get distracted by the Irene Norton née Adler of it all#but Holmes is incredibly rare (gay) form in this story#a scandal in bohemia#sherlock holmes#acd canon#acd holmes#acd watson#john watson#it’s giving ‘this is my friend Madison and she drOVE ME HERE!!’#you 🫵 yes you! suffer my holmesposting
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CONTESTANT ANGST!!!! PLKEASE
totally serious contestant angst here you go
#finding frankie#no guys throwing up is the scariest shit ever#(hasnt thrown up in over 10 years)#(fears the day it'll happen again everyday)
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