#through til 7 or 8 lol :')

[keeps-ache]

ouhh the tired __(xox _/ )\__

[two-calicos-in-a-trenchcoat]

My friend sent me this just after I got done reading one of the ea-nasir posts again and it took me a minute to register that she meant EA as in Electronic Arts and that her sims packs weren't showing up as being downloaded

[aropride]

mutual 1: just got engaged lol <3 #slash serious

mutual 2: i know its been 3 years but i cant stop thinking about bloingo's arc in season 2 :(( my baby my baby youre my baby say it to me

mutual 3: This world is sweriously so fucking beautiful #Just had a snickers bar. effervescent

mutual 4: https://open.spotify.com/track/2P5yIMu2DNeMXTyOANKS6k #yeah...

mutual 5: [gerard way image] #i miss her thighs i mean her music

mutual 6: [this post contains filtered content: blood, gore, guts, wound, nsfw]

mutual 7: if bloingo was a deer he would have chronic wasting disease

mutual 8: [responding to the most insane anon hate you've ever seen] they anon on my askbox til i block #fslur girl slay

mutual 9: Next person to Fuck with mutual 8 has To go through me..... I Will Protect You

mutual 10: get me OUT of the fucking midwest bro #CANNOT take it anymore im srsly at my limit

mutual 11: [poll] should i get boba [yes] / [no] / [button for me]

mutual 12: i think i have a disorder

mutual 13: [rapidly reblogging gerard way images from 2010 with 6 notes]

mutual 14: dude i just got hit by a fucking car im not even joking im waiting for my uber to the hospital rn i think my legs are broken why does god hate me

mutual 15: JUST GOT MY NEUROSCIENCE PHD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mutual 16: [this post contains filtered tags: #[fandom you hate but you love ur mutual so much anyway]]

mutual 17: [reblogging bloingo fanart at a rate previously thought physically impossible]

mutual 18: One of the guys in my head ate my fucking ham sandwich

[obsessivelyloved]

This was requested on one of my nsfw blogs but I went insane and made it 3,000 words long. So I can post most of it here lol. Just know that in my heart, this takes place in Arkham. Also I'm super rusty so I apologize if anything feels off/wonky. The ending is abrupt here bc the rest of it/the ending is nsfw. I was up til 5am writing this and I'm not writing a sfw ending for this blog until after i get more sleep.

Anon asks: I’m a big sucker for Psych Au fics. Reader is a cis female doctor who treats Tord with kindness. He becomes obsessed with her. Refuses to talk to any other doctor. Tord is always on his best behavior for her which leads her to let her guard down. BIG MISTAKE

___________________________________________________________

“You dropped this.” 

The man stares at you wide eyed as you hand him his lighter. He stands, rigid. You give him a gentle smile and press it into his palm, your other hand curling around the back of his hand. 

“I know there’s no fluid in it, so you don’t have to worry about me taking it,” you say to him. You pat his hand and step away.

The man turns fully towards you and you’re able to read the name sewed onto his shirt. 

“I-” the man- Tord- swallows hard. He quickly pockets the lighter. “Thank you.” 

You give him another smile and walk past him. He seemed to be going the same way as you but he never caught up. Nor did you hear footsteps behind you. Once you reach the director’s office, he leaves your thoughts. You were determined to make a good first impression on your first day of the job. 

The man you met earlier had turned out to be your first patient. And oh boy, what a patient he was. Like you had promised yourself you weren’t going to judge any of these people but god damn. His file was thick. At least twenty papers were inside the manilla folder you had received from the head director’s office. Maybe even more. 

You’d never know if you kept standing outside the director’s office gawking at it. You take a deep breath. Going through it sitting down was probably a good idea. As you make your way to the breakroom, your grip on the folder is tight, trying your best to make sure you don’t drop it and reveal your patient's file. 

Thankfully, it doesn’t take you long to get to the breakroom. A few people were there but they paid you no mind. They sit, hunched over lunch or their own files. You sit and start to read. 

Løvik Tord

3 7 2 5 9

DOB: 1995

Age: 28

Hair: Dark brown with lighter brown roots

Eye: Silver

You end up skimming through this until you get to the bottom of the page. It wasn’t… pretty. 

CASE INFORMATION: 

Tord is a violent man. He is aggressive, manipulative, and has a short temper. Many doctors have tried working with him to no avail. He does not respond kindly to Dr.Casey (see page 5), Dr.Bonnie (see page 8), Dr.Roxy (see page 12), or Dr.Harley (see page 15). 

He is extremely aggressive towards Dr. Bruce (see page 20). 

You stop reading there, your chest feeling tight. You flip to page twenty. It’s not the last page like you had hoped. There were still…. Quite a bit in the file. 

Dr.Bruce has tried everything he can to help Tord. He has tried finding common ground with the patient. Has tried being lax and strict with Tord’s schedule. Has tried working with Tord and letting him sit outside. Tord had found every loophole and burned every bridge until Dr.Bruce stopped lenient treatments. Tord stabbed Dr.Bruce fifteen times before guards made their way into the room. 

It is unknown how and where he had gotten his hands on a sharp long blade. Tord was seen licking the blood of-

“Don’t worry if you can’t fix him. At this point, Doctor Markman hands his case off to fresh blood to showcase this place. No one expects you to be able to tame him.” 

You startle at the voice, goosebumps raised on your arms. “I’m sorry?” you ask with a polite smile. Anger clouded your fear. What the hell was this person talking about?

The doctor, Alice, her name tag reads, smiles at you. 

“Nearly everyone has tried working with him at this point,” she continues. “No one expects him to ever get better. He's here for murder, after all.” 

You give her a tight smile in return. “I’ll just have to see for myself.” 

Before she can keep going, you straighten up the papers and close the folder. 

“I appreciate the advice, but I must be going now,” you lie through your teeth. What bullshit! What kind of doctors run this place? 

You actually hadn’t needed to be anywhere for another thirty minutes but if this conversation continued you wouldn’t be able to hold your tongue. Everyone can be saved. With compassion and kindness and help, no one was beyond redemption. Or too far gone for help. 

You storm out of the breakroom and wander. 

“I was hoping I’d see you again.” 

Tord grins at you as he’s escorted in. His hands are cuffed and before he can sit down, the guard pats him down. 

It makes your stomach churn but you keep your face kind. 

“It’s nice to see you too,” you greet. You watch cautiously as he sits down in the plush chair. The guard leaves the room. 

Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.

It’s silent enough to hear the clock as the two of you study each other. He seems to drink you in, eyes wandering up and down, seeming to take in everything. You’d do the same if you weren’t a professional. 

“You used to dye your hair?” 

Tord raises an eyebrow. He tilts his head a little, eyes focused solely on you. It unnerves you almost as much as his file had. No patient of yours had ever stared at you so intensely in the past….

After a moment, he answers. “Yes. I fancied black quite a bit.” He gestures towards his roots. “It’s been a while since Bruce got me more dye. No one else will.” 

“I could look into it,” you clasp your hands, jumping into this opportunity. “I can’t promise anything, but I’ll talk to Doctor Marksman.” 

“And what do you want from me in return?”

“I’m sorry?” 

His gaze hardens. “What. do. You. want.” He grinds out, his body rigid in the chair. His hands were clenched.

Without thinking, puzzlement falls across your face. What did he mean? What did you want? For him to get better, obviously. 

“I want you to be at ease with your mental health,” you answer, still looking puzzled. “I don’t want anything else from this job but that. I’m not dangling hair dye in front of you in exchange. I want you to feel comfortable in your skin and at home here, Mr.Løvik.” 

Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. 

“Is that really what you want?” Tord asks, an emotion you can’t quite place in his voice. “To help me get better?” 

Whatever it may be, you smile at him. 

“Of course. I want nothing but to see you succeed and be happy here.” 

Things were easier after that first session. You always started off kindly, asking Tord how his day was going. If his favorite show or movie had aired on the television today.If his favorite food had been served that morning or afternoon. If he slept fine through the dreadful storm. 

(“I know I wasn’t,” you had laughed. “I tossed and turned, jumping at each sound all night.”

“I’m sure your boyfriend was quite displeased.”

“Oh,” you chuckle. “Well, no. I have a cat but no boyfriend. I was too busy getting my decree to ever really mingle like that. Though, my poor little man was also distraught at all the thunder last night. He yowled at my door until I let him into my room and he curled up on my bed. I’ll bring pictures next time.”) 

Too well for you and only you. Tord refused to talk to anyone but you. He would sit in silence or insult other doctors during his sessions. In one instance, he broke a new doctor’s nose. The poor guy had quit on the spot, cussing Tord and the whole place out as he was escorted to the medical section. 

You were tense the next few sessions but that violent man was nowhere to be found. He kept his cuffed hands right in front where you can see them at all times. He never lunged from you. In fact, barely ever moved in his chair. 

Tord was easygoing. Polite, charming, even. He took any medications he needed obediently and put up no fuss when you’d have him describe in later sessions how he was feeling and if he was feeling any negative side effects. 

He asked about your cat. About how your favorite show was going. If the movie you were looking forward to has come out yet. If your favorite restaurant down the street from your apartment was still closed for renovations. 

Eventually, enough time had passed that you relaxed. You stopped keeping your eyes trained on his hands. You stopped worrying yourself sick about his body language. You focused on his treatments and his mental health. 

If he was going to hurt me he would have done so by now, you thought to yourself after your latest session with Tord. He was doing so much better than he had been doing six months ago. It seemed as if you were really making a difference, helping him improve. 

It had been three months since he last fought another patient. Two months since he assaulted another doctor. And five months since he refused treatment of any kind. 

You step outside the building and take a deep breath. A dopey smile sticks to your face as you walk to your car. Becoming a doctor was the best choice you’ve ever made. Nothing was more rewarding than helping people. Not even this cloudy weather could bring you down. 

In fact, nothing tried to drag your mood down. There was no traffic on the way home. Some asshole hadn’t parked in your assigned parking spot again in the parking lot of your apartment. And your sweet cat hadn’t knocked his little box over again. 

You happily reheat your leftovers and watch tv for a while before you get ready for bed. Unfortunately, your mood does come crashing down. 

In the middle of the night, thunder wakes you. You jolt up, scrambling for your phone. Your hands come up empty. Shit, you think. I left it charging in the kitchen. Ugh. Oh well, you don’t need to look at your phone to see it is late and storming. 

Another loud sound booms through your apartment. Only this time, it sounds like a crash. 

“It’s just thunder,” you tell yourself. “Nothing to be afraid of.” You lay back down. Your eyes shut and you’re just about drifting to sleep when your door creeks open. 

You bolt up, knowing damn well that your cat can’t open doors and you freeze. 

Your heart races as your mind tries to process just who was in front of you. 

“Tord?” you whimper, hands shaking. But that can’t be. That was impossible. He was supposed to be sleeping soundly in his room with the soundproof headphones you got him. He didn’t like storms. The thunder reminded him too much of gunshots and made him restless. 

Useless information floods your brain. 

“I’m home, sweetheart,” he rasps. His grin is soft in the moonlight. He reaches over to flick on your bedroom light. 

He’s gentle he’s kind he’s sweet he’s-

He’s covered in blood.

Tord steps forward and you’re frozen in bed. His eyes are wild as they drink you in. There’s blood on his hands. In his hair. Splatters on his face. 

“Oh honey how I’ve dreamed of this,” he croons at the foot of your bed. “Your apartment is just as cute as you described.” 

[danieyells]

I don't know if you've done it yet but I would like to request Ren lines? I'm having tokyo debunker Ren brainrot bro 😭.

@otomelover23

You're all very welcome! I love you guys too, so far! Sorry you've been deprived of lazy boi lolol HOPEFULLY THESE SATISFY YOU A LITTLE BIT.

He's a little tsundere I think. He's one of those characters who just wants to be normal but he can't just pretend to be normal because he lives surrounded by chaos so he just complains a lot lolol. . .but i think he's a good guy. Aside from that he does not help his mother captain at all.

Hello: (the first time the game is opened after that character is set as home screen NPC. Only happens once per day, unless the character is switched out and back.)

"Great, shift change. I'm gonna head out then... What? Do I really need to be here for that?"

You've Got Mail: (whenever there's something in the inbox, usually Arena rewards)

"I think you've got a notification... Aren't you going to look at it?"

Default: (requires no affinity, has no time constraints)

"Who did I disappoint in a past life to end up in Jabberwock... There's no general students or even a single other sane person, and these jumpsuits are a crime..."

"Why do I have to look after all these weird-ass animals? This is forced labor...  Ugh, they're so gross..."

"If you're just gonna stand there, could you go feed the animals in the aquatic zone?  I'm too busy."

"Ugh, why is that clown calling me... ... Whatever, I'll just let it ring out."

you know damn well that if you don't answer the phone you're gonna have to deal with Haru in person. Better to just answer it.

"Oh, hey... Could you open the link I sent you? No, you don't have to sign up or anything. Thanks."

Affinity 1: (between 5am and 11am)

"Ugh... Tell me how I'm supposed to sit through classes when I've been up since 4 AM? (yawn) I'm exhausted..."

well if you didn't stay up until 4am--oh who am i kidding i stayed up til like 3 watching a stream and reading datamine stuff and then I got up at like 6:30 to get ready for work I'm no better kekw.

Affinity 2: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Ugh... I can't believe I'm hiding right now... Why the hell does that clown have to chase me around at lunch time too?"

Affinity 3: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Preach about doing it for the sake of your friends or the animals or whatever all you want— I really don't give a shit. People who say that stuff are just deluding themselves."

i've known people with this kind of cynicism before. once he finds people care about him and a little more stability he'll come around a little more.

Affinity 4: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Huh? I can't see that clown anywhere... Hell yes. Gonna get through my watch list. I hope he never comes back."

Affinity 5: (between 8pm and 5am)

"I'm grinding this game on my phone, so could you not talk to me for a while? Crap, I think my RSI is flaring up..."

in Japanese he specifies tendonitis haha

Affinity 6: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Don't people get embarrassed calling out those words when they use their stigmas? It makes them look like LARPers..."

in japanese he says they sound like they have chuunibyou which is much funnier imo lmao. also i guess that means he can say his in his head? since he'd feel embarrassed doing it aloud, maybe he's practiced already lol

Affinity 7: (between 11am and 4pm)

"You think I sigh a lot? Got a problem with that? You realize trying to take away people's freedom of speech is power harrassment, right?"

you're starting to sound like ritsu. gonna hurt yourself reaching like that.

Affinity 8: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"I'm so done... I'm out of HP... Shouldn't I be exempt from missions and classes since I'm looking after all those animals?"

well based on one of Haku's chats, you can just do missions if you don't go to class, and based on Kaito you can just go to class instead of doing missions. . .but I'm sure Haru forces him on missions anyway lol. . . .

Affinity 9: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Pfft... The video of that clown getting attacked by that hawk thing is getting so many interacts. This editing thing's actually pretty fun."

does editing count as a creative effort? i wouldn't be surprised if he switched to Hotarubi next year if so, assuming he doesn't get used to Jabberwock and the animals. Also why didn't he get stopped by Sophy for uploading a video with an anomaly? Unless he uploaded it to an Institute social media site like WickHive or something. . . .

Affinity 10: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Gotta change the locks so that clown can't get in again. I've bought enough padlocks to start my own business by now..."

life haru finds a way. sometimes that way is "towa, break down the door" if he runs out of lockpicking equipment.

Affinity 11: (between 5am and 11am)

"My head's killing me... This is the worst... Rise and shine! my ass... It's basically still the middle of the night. Guess I should padlock my windows..."

5-6am I can understand being 'basically the middle of the night' but after that you're pushing it lmao

Affinity 12: (between 11am and 4pm)

"The cafeteria's way over capacity... The assholes who save seats before its even noon are ruining it for everyone else..."

Affinity 13: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Why's my pay so low... huh? What's this deduction for? "Consultation Fee: Ritsu Shinjo..." He's seriously charging me for complaining...?"

Ritsu charges for looking at him too long. i'd try venting on wickhive over complaining to Ritsu.

Affinity 14: (between 5am and 11am)

"That rabbit sure has it good. All it has to do is breathe and everyone fawns over it. Doesn't even have to feed itself. Just wait till it grows up and learns what the world's really like."

WELL BASED ON THAT THE ADULT PEEKABOO WAS STILL BEING FAWNED OVER AND HARU HAD TO STOP PEOPLE FROM PETTING IT BECAUSE IT BITES. . .IT'LL PROBABLY STILL HAVE IT GOOD. Haru takes good care of the animals.

Affinity 15: (between 5am and 11am)

"Sup... Huh? I'm alone today. I just got up on my own since if I don't that clown'll wake me up anyway."

yeah? it's because of haru? not because of your affinity with the pc being more than half so you wanna be up earlier to spend more time with them? sure.

Affinity 16: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Oof, nearly missed the noon raid...  Not like I'll have any time to myself once I get back to the dorm, so I guess I should do it now..."

Affinity 17: (between 10pm and midnight)

"No, I'm not going to sleep yet. I'm gonna watch a horror B-movie. You don't have to think, so they're the perfect thing to watch before bed."

i used to watch/listen to mts3k to go to sleep so. i feel this.

Affinity 18: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Well done me for surviving another day... Oh, same to you too, {PC}. I don't how you can do this stuff voluntarily."

SOME PEOPLE JUST LIKE ANIMALS DAWG.

Affinity 19: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Huh? I'm going to the campus store to buy some stuff, where are you going? Well, I'm going that way, so...bye."

not sure if shy or asocial lmao. could be both!

Affinity 20: (between 5am and 11am)

"You're being forced to help out again? Wow, a doormat out in the wild. So? Where do you want me to carry all this food?"

he's helping you even though he doesn't wanna work. HE'S GOT IT BAD.

Affinity 21: (between 11am and 4pm)

"This? It's a video I uploaded. People seem really into it. It's of that clown getting chased by a dog and flailing around like one of those inflatable air dancers."

Affinity 22: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"What am I doing today? Working at the diner. Oh, if you want to keep me company, feel free to come by. As long as you serve yourself."

it's not a date or anything since he's at work but like. . .he is inviting you to hang out. . . .

Affinity 23: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Huh? You were waiting for me to get off work? Oh... Thanks. Wait, that clown put you up to this?! I'm gonna kill him..."

NO NO WE CAME HERE WILLINGLY probably. although it does seem like Haru to be like "oh hey Ren really really likes you, you should go pick him up from work! he'd love that!!" like a real nosy mom who's trying to get his son together with his crush.

Affinity 24: (between 10pm and midnight)

"When did it get this late? That was horrifyingly fast... I'll walk part of the way back with you. I was gonna go buy something to drink anyway..."

excuses, excuses. . . .

Affinity 25(max): (no time constraints)

"Every day here is a fresh hell, sure, but... You're suffering through it with me, so I guess I'll stick it out a little longer..."

'this sucks but you make it suck a little(a lot) less so i can keep going'. yep, that's our tsundere alright!

Spring: (March-May) (between 5am and 11am)

"That clown's even more slap-happy than usual lately—it's horrible. Has he got spring fever or something?"

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Otonashi keeps trying to make me drink some kind of rice porridge with weird flowers in it... It's actual porridge harassment."

considering the flower Towa associates with Ren is poisonous, i think it's safe to assume he is literally trying to poison him to death lmao. also wtf is porridge harassment--i even tried looking it up in japanese and the first thing that came up was someone screenshotting it and saying "what is porridge harassment" lolol

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"All this farm labor's bad enough without all the caterpillars and weird plants that are out there now...This is harassment."

what's harassing you, nature? as someone who just had to kill a huge mosquito that came into my room, nature is harassing me too.

(between 8pm and 5am)

"I hate cherry blossoms. They're like the flower version of being a legacy kid— all they have to do is bloom once a year and everyone claps."

in japanese what he says is something like 'i hate them just like people born with silver spoons in their mouths'. basically he hates people born into privilege lol i bet he'd have the potential to get along well with haku until he learns he'll be inheriting a shrine. . .then again he's getting along with Ritsu in their own little way

Summer: (June-August) (between 5am and 11am)

"This is the worst... It's not even noon yet, how is it so hot? Summer is for extroverts and party animals, I wish it could just be over already..."

(between 11am and 4pm)

"A group trip to the beach? I'd rather die. No decent person would ever go there of their own free will."

butbutbut. think of the summer skins!!!

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"Summer was our busy period back home, so I always had to kill myself helping out. Now I'm here though... nothing's changed."

. . .did Ren's family run some sort of seaside shop??? And he happened to end up afraid of the ocean and hating aquatic creatures and such?

(between 8pm and 5am)

"How can the A/C be banned in the dorm...? Who gives a shit what temperature some anomalous animal that sneaks in prefers, humans should come first..."

okay i agree with him here though what the fuck kind of rule is that. can we talk to hyde about that, that's insane haru.

Autumn: (September-November) (between 5am and 11am)

"Now it's getting colder, I nearly found myself feeling grateful for this tragic jumpsuit... Am I being brainwashed...?"

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Fall, the season of the harvest—I'll stick with cup noodles, thanks. "Fall, the season to enjoy the outdoors"—screw that. I'm gonna make it the season of naps."

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"Look—I got bitten by some weird bug anomaly. To hell with the stupid bug spray ban, I'm buying some."

(between 8pm and 5am)

"I feel like the mountains are rowdier when there's a full moon. Pretty sure my enemy encounter rate goes up when I'm on patrol too... Maybe I'm just imagining it."

is 'enemy encounter rate' here referring to people or anomalies. . .because if it's people then that's just because of tsukimi. . .although I wouldn't be surprised if there were a lot of anomalies or anomalies were more active on full moons.

Winter: (December-February) (between 5am and 11am)

"There's less patrols in winter but anything involving water like washing up gets even worse... Ugh, I wish I could hibernate too..."

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Since the climate in Jabberwock's so messed up, sometimes it's actually warm in winter. The blizzards are way stronger though..."

have you tried pissing towa off less?

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"Oh god, I just saw what's in the diner's new Mystery Hot Pot... It's gotta be a matter of time before this place goes bust..."

i mean if they had ordinary health inspectors maybe lolol

(between 8pm and 5am)

"That clown broke my window so my room's like a freezer... Oh, don't worry. I just took his room instead."

lmao imagine Ren invites you to hang out and takes you to Haru's room instead of his like nah he broke my window so i'm using his room and he can freeze.

His birthday: (July 25th)

"You got this for me? That clown's been spreading my personal info around... No, it's fine, I'll still take it. Thanks."

i guess he doesn't really tell people his birthday, huh.

Your birthday:

"Happy birthday, {PC}. ...Isn't it kind of rude to look so surprised I'd celebrate your birthday? That came from the heart, you know."

I MEAN YOU NORMALLY DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING. . .it's happy surprise!!!

New Years: (January 1st)

"Happy New Year. My resolution? Escaping the hell hole that is Jabberwock, for starters."

well you got here in like September or something so. you've got a while befor eyou can switch houses lmao but you can do it this year!

Valentine's Day: (February 14th)

"You got me chocolates? You're the type who does all this kind of stuff, huh? No, it's fine, you went to the trouble and everything so I'll take them."

i love when characters kinda mock you for doing getting them something but then they're like "nonono i want it gimme--" lolol from Ren especially it's very tsundere. poor guy wouldn't be straightforward about his feelings unless a damn life was on the line.

White Day: (March 14th)

"{PC}... Here, if you want them. I just bought the first thing I saw, so don't read into it..."

i bet it's actually really nice lolol

April Fool's Day: (April 1st)

"Guess what? I got special permission to switch houses. That nightmare is now behind me! I wish..."

Halloween: (October 31st)

"I hope everyone who gets excited about Halloween lives in misery for the rest of their lives. Why the hell do I have to help out with this stupid themed tour?"

Christmas: (December 25th)

"Can I ask you a question, {PC}? You don't still believe in Santa Claus, do you? Never mind, it doesn't matter. Have a good Christmas."

i mean. . .after coming here santa is a plausible entity to believe in. . .if there's gonna be a santa i don't wanna be caught not believing and missing out on gifts. . . .

Idle: (about 20 seconds without interacting with the game) (below 13 affinity)

"Where'd she go...? Whatever. Guess I'll catch up on some of my games."

(13 affinity and above)

"Pfft... This edit's awesome. I'm a genius. I'll show {PC} when she gets back."

true bonding is sharing the funny memes you worked hard on. . . .

Absent: (logging in for the first time in 2 or more days?)

"It's not like I was waiting for you or anything. It's just this hell hole is even more unbearable when you're not around..."

YEP THAT'S OUR UNFORTUNATE CUSTOMER SERVICE EMPLOYEE TSUNDERE ALRIGHT. His lines don't really get super affectionate but. They still have a charm to them when you realize how much he hides his feelings in the usual tsundere way. He likes you a lot but like. . .it's a bother and it's embarrassing. . .and what're the chances you're into him? He'll just invite you over to watch movies and play games with him and stuff. . .and tell himself it's fine to just be friends until it eats away at him. . .or until Haru spills the beans for him--

this took way too long because i got distracted like three times in the middle and my laptop started freaking out and i had to figure out why and close and reopen everything about 8 times hahaha. . . . OKAY TIME FOR ME TO GO TO BED! I hope this satisfies you a little bit!!

[pensbridge]

This is going to be my only post I ever do THIS. It needs to be said (if even only for me). Be warned. (& I'm totally being a little funny & unserious with my words, but I also mean it). but really I just need to be so silly for a moment..

I've been in some fandoms and every fandom goes through this, but...There's no fandom on earth that quite literally walked in with no changes to the picture of the Community meme like the Bridgerton fandom. yayyy! we made history again We are the exact same picture, because it wasn't that bad! I can nearly guarantee you, people noticed the quality change, but it literally wasn't bad like you say! Some of us truly stumbled in here like wtf, and still haven't gotten the answer. Stumbling into Part 1..was stressful, but Part 2 was actual insanity!

like, I honestly don't think some people watched it all the way (i saw something about ppl finishing in 2 hours)! If they even went back, who knows?! But the takes are just literal fables!

I actually think the blind trolls coming back from the dead & thin air for part 1 have deluded some of you into thinking that part 1 was bad (it wasn't; it was good), and as a result made you think that part 2 was worse than it is. I totally respect your differing opinion, but you're wrong!

There are 2 real "issues" with this season and the other stuff is artificial grass.

#1 The lack of happy couple moments that get replaced by boring side plots (part 1 was actually enjoyable to me, but this one I actually almost fell asleep watching Benedict before I was awoken by his bi awakening). But to be frank, it's always been an ensemble, and I find it funny that people forget: People bitched about polin season 2; they bitched about Penelope since season 1.

The fact that they don't get a full episode 8 of being happy in love was criminal (but i will admit my wrong expectation, because this is Bridgerton (what else is there to expect, lol). However they are cute! Naysayers, deny it all you want, but they are literally perfect! They are literally a cute engaged couple, the moms including Lady Danbury cannot help but squeal over them, and the only thing holding them back is that this conflict is seemingly dragged on, BUT it doesn't even go on long! (perhaps it felt that way because there were only 4 in this batch of eps). And I get you can be upset, but stop the bullshit because "WE WERE ROBBED." You are lyyyyinnnnnggggg.

He finds out in 6! Anthony was with her sister for 6 eps ... Simon....avoided her til she had to make the move at the end. If we're including Queen Charlotte, George got the most cohesive story, but we'll chalk that priviledge up to the fact that he got only 6 eps; and also don't lie, the recycle-rinse-repeat episode was boring(!!!!) minus the last scene & the visitation of his trauma (u can disagree w/this, but I was bored the first time watching and didn't ask for the copy & paste same episode).

#2 is the pacing (really the last 1⅓-ish episodes is the problem)- because I wish they made up by the end of 7, which is really more of the same of what I said about them being happier in the final one. However, (which brings me to my point) if they'd shifted him finding out earlier... (again they only had 1 episode prior to do this in (because there was no way it was happening in part 1 even if the 2 part split never existed), ...it could have fixed most likely all of this: if everything was moved up an episode (+ they switched Cressida's reveal + Colin finding out), they'd be fighting in 7 but united for Cressida's lie, then they'd make up by the end, and they wouldn't still be struggling with differences between them in the first part of episode 8 at all, thus there would be the happy couple moments from my point #1.

And I newly realized how this aspect of polin's season arc compares to the others. The conflicts of the other 2 seasons have been more heavily external obstacles preventing them from really getting together, while visiting some internal demons later after the drama; but this season is pretty much just them with internal conflict between them (if not for all of part 1 then for the entirety of part 2! (i personally think that the Debling stuff is less love-trianglry than what they've done in the past & fr he is in 2 eps really and not even fully courting her for majority of it)! Enemies to lovers does have internal conflict between them in the beginning, but it's not something actually between them that's "preventing" them from riding into the sunset (other than fake fighting like they hate each lol i say w/love 4 the characters & E2L). But since Colin and Pen's conflict is actually her (Whistledown) it maybe feels like they are more at odds than what is truly going on under the surface. Because they are established to love each other already unlike the other couples, who you are seeing the journey and getting to the end. While Part 2, you are seeing the unraveling of an established couple even though the love is there and the only important reason you need to get how they can work it out. We won on complexity and realness harder than the people w/bad takes can fathom, they have to make stuff up!

The other (kind of related for some) stuff:

The sex scenes: I get it! They lied (lol)! I hope we get them! But we know why it's lacking; they're deleted scenes; they exist! But the carriage scene - HOT. The mirror - HOT. The 30 second scene (lol) - HOT. But again: K*nthony got 2 spicy scenes their season! S*phne got a montage but it kind of sucked looking back (i'm not seriously hating but you know that it was too much, literally even then i think ppl knew) but plz don't start the ship discourse again & PLZ DO BE LOUD ABOUT THESE SCENES THO, I NEED THEM (lol)

But the love confession.....sssssssss. There were so many!!! *that book one is not good, i'm sorry (i'm being lighthearted here; you can disagree w/it but I do kind of hatttte it!)

"They didn't include..." don't know if you know but the writers make the story. Their story is not the book. You knew what you jumped into. (you can be sad but..) [i am not touching the conversation on Fran. But if we're really being real that side shouldn't wanna be grouped w/the side of The Departeds who are forever the head of online harrassers....by - now causing official pages to disable their comments (you don't have to tell me it wasn't all of you. I know 😔). it's actually kind of funny how I did not know like 95% of the actual discourse those first couple days (and there's a lot of discourse to see). but, anyway my main concern this whole post are my top 2 mcs. [ps the Departeds I meant traveling; i'm not that mean]

The misinterpretation of Colin: if you hate him, then go away! Thnx 4 the record-breaking views!

The baby? Cheers to 2 years in the future w/baby No Name! *lol* I'm not gonna say you shouldn't be upset about the name. For me, it was fine, because I knew they'd be back for s4. Also, preparation guys, I doubt we will even see the child that much if Daphne is any indication.

This show has never been comparable to your favorite Oscar-worthy film (literally obviously!), but the show is not terrible like some very widely popular of what's out there (and i'm not even talking about bad shows that everyone knows are bad). There is some depth to the characters and some ingrained-trauma to living in a male-dominated society with no autonomy, and traumas to the men as well. Re: the choices and drama every season. It's... a drama show! People need to go re-read the fantasy books if they want happy, lack of conflict all the time (and men yanking their wives by the wrists)... Go read fanfic if you don't like the show and a certain couple. Bridgerton is escapism and in some crazy overtaking of loud voices in the fandom, this fandom has been one of the least escap-ist fandoms ever. Because people will be like "*suspending my disbelief*" every 2 secs, but ...babe that's not doing what you just said. There's embellished "Based on a True Story" documentary fans that do this better than you tbh (i'm being a lil funny here, but honestly)

And I simply need to say this, regardless that it won't change, I need the acknowledgment jokes and the mental cleanse. if u don't want to read × The fandom...bro. I'm not even upset, I actually laughed at some of this - like, there's 3 types of people:

#1 offended people responding to op posts, because they don't like what they said; lol, the hypocrisy! The amount of people in my comments in this past month alone if I said something positive...abt the show, abt the characters...anything (new posts, old post) is more hatred than ever ever. The good polin fans are sensitive, but any and every bad typists in the comments are so easily offended...over positivity. Why.are.you.bitter?

"I'm bitter cause.." I literally don't care

#2 people reblogging things they hate to say what they hate. thnx for the notes??? bro, some comments on other ppl's gifs (rants on what they didn't like, crying abt a character/why they hate a character, and sometimes it has nothing to do with the scene gifed).

#3 "I'm allowed to be upset." why are you fighting for this? You can! Go in peace. Some people had no issues with what you say, but you are fighting this because you are determined to make people agree with your negativity no less. If you cared about the courtesy (i know that you don't) you'd let some ppl bask in what they weren't disappointed in & were excited to end the journey with (*and i expect nothing from the haters, but some of this was coming from inside the house lol). The reason you were wrong for this is because YOU WERE WRONG! There are ppl that liked it. You have no control; I get it. dw i'm sure you'll be fine.

Anyway, if anyone even read this far, you rock 4 that. If you got it, we're healing from this dumpster fire together; and if this even made 1 person laugh or feel better, it's worth it. I'm actually good now but it was rough that first stepping into the chaos and I had so many thoughts at first, so i wrote a lot from the initial shock those moments, [and now i'm in the laughing about this bullshit phase] so if u get it u get it (and can maybe have a chuckle) >>> This is literally just your neighborly (if ur nice here) joke!post *we're laughing thru the pain* / w/e to you (if you're not because i need to & this stuff isn't new & that one goes for all divisions of the fandom not just the main contented one of this post)

[hughungrybear]

Me while watching Last Twilight Ep. 10

I still don't like Day for being so darned aggressive with Night. It is clearly undeserved and stems from Day's belief that he should be the only "good" son in the family. Also learning that Jimmy apparently impromptu the line "I wish there is a rainbow (Rung)" when Mhok and Day are on the Last Twilight mountain is making me feel things 🥹🥹🥹

1. Oh Mum. You really should stop trying to control Day like that. He is blind, but he is a grown-ass man. Let Day live (and love) gods dammit. Also, what good can come out of making Mhok quit like that, huh?

2. I'll be angry at Mum on your behalf, Day. Yeah, I understand she is scared for you, but life is full of risks. Unless she wants you to go back hiding in your room again <after 5 seconds> Oh, look. Big Brother Night advocating for his beloved Nong and trying to convince Mum to start seeing reason. Unfortunately, Mum is being an effing cvnt. And also being weirdly jealous of Mhok and Day's relationship.

3. Oh my gawd. She hired the crying applicant from first episode to replace Mhok as a caretaker. Goes to show that Mum has some serious flaw in her judgment.

4. Oh, Rung's car is back. Also, is this what you want, Mum? Mhok and Day acting like they are in some kind of Romeo and Juliet play??? The fvck 🤬

5. Yeah, Mum is not homophobic. She's just your average rich snob. Which is just as worse, if you ask me. Also, trying to take away Day's agency (by taking away his phone and changing the Wi-Fi password) must be the cvnt-iest thing Mum has done so far.

6. Big brother Night comes through by sneaking in a new phone for Day. Mum is also cvnt to Night, I see. Again, WTF.

7. I want to cry on Night's behalf. Night deserves all the love, respect, and happiness in the world. 😭😭😭😭 Good for Day for finally forgiving Night (even though Night was practically blameless the night of the accident).

8. Mhok working to be a restaurant cook is like (figuratively) raising a middle finger to Day's mum. As it should. 😅

9. Night already knows Mhok is working at Porjai's restaurant. I wonder who told him <ahem, ahem>. Looks like the NightPorjai agenda is alive and well 😂😂😂 Also, I accidentally let out a loud squeal when Night said "this is my girl" to Porjai (even telling the doctor that she's pregnant with his child). Man, that was smooooth. Like butter 😅😅😅. If only Porjai didn't misinterpret Night calling the woman doctor his "girl" lol

10. A date in a library? Then an art gallery? Mhok is clearly a man after my own heart 😍😍😍

11. Aon and Day being the purest bros in this series. Also, it helps that Aon is a bit unhinged. Just look at him dance lol On the other hand, TIL that colours have different smells. Always thought they all smell like turpentine 😅😅😅

12. All of a sudden, Mum remembers to spend time with her sons. Again, my heart breaks for Night. He looks like an outsider in his own family. Gods damn, mum. You are failing both your sons. How in ever loving fvck did you managed to fvck your relationship with your sons this much??? Thank heavens Day is there to support his big bro.

13. Aww. Mhok was waiting. But at least, Day managed to deliver. Even if it's a bit too late (and the restaurant is already closed). But look at Mhok abusing his new cook privileges 😂😂😂

14. For a moment, I thought we crossed Cooking Crush universe with the pot holder 😅😅😅.

Why do I feel tense and apprehensive regarding Day's surgery? I know P'Aof never delivers a sad ending. Please, don't let this be the first time that he changes his mind 😭😭😭

[lowkeychenle]

Songs that remind me of Chenle <3

Okayyy I'm gonna make a list of songs that remind of Chenle and any lyrics in specific or if it's the whole thingggg this is the most delusional thing I've ever done soooo keep scrolling I know it's BAD all songs are linked <3

Also this will be an ongoing list that I'll be adding to when I hear new songs okay byeee

Rainbow - NCT Dream

I think it’ll be okay, I think we’ll be shining The rainbow that connects our hearts

2. Like We Just Met - NCT Dream

Even if say I love you every day Forever still isn't enough

3. Paper Rings - Taylor Swift

I want to drive away with you I want your complications too I want your dreary Mondays

4. Enchanted (Taylor's Version) - Taylor Swift

This night is sparkling, don't you let it go I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home I'll spend forever wondering if you knew I was enchanted to meet you

5. Fictional - Khloe Rose

I'd rather keep on dreaming of someone I'll never meet than give love to another one who won't choose me

6. Dream in a Dream - TEN

I'm staying up I don't wanna come down from your love We'll get lost together, let me flow Don't ever let me come down from your love

7. Sorry, Heart - NCT Dream

Not any of the lyrics to this song lol but hearing him sing this live was a 10/10 experience and it changed my life fr

8. everything everywhere always - elijah woods

Everything, everywhere, always Love 'til it hurts, 'til my heart aches The light in my world on my dark days For always you'll be my Everything, everywhere, always

9. Work Song - Hozier

When my time comes around Lay me gently in the cold dark earth No grave can hold my body down I'll crawl home to her

10. Nervous - John Legend

Like flyin' in the fast lane, no headlights in the dark That existential feelin' when you wonder what you are Got a wild wind in my head But the butterflies in my heart make it worth it

11. Complete Mess - 5 Seconds of Summer

I ask no questions as your colors take their hold As my darkness turns to gold inside

12. Stuck - Imagine Dragons

You were my one, you were my one When all has been said, all has been done You were my one, you were my one Now I am left reaching above me Time goes by and still I am stuck on you

13. Feel Like This - Ingrid Andress

I thought I knew what I knew what love was Guess I didn't know at all

14. Nights Like This - Josh Golden

But on nights like this I still think of you When it's cold outside and the bed is too

15. Never Let Me Go - Florence + the Machine

And it's over and I'm going under But I'm not giving up, I'm just giving in I'm slipping underneath So, so cold and so sweet

16. Nonsense - Sabrina Carpenter

Think I only want one number in my phone I might change your contact to "don't leave me alone"

17. Magic - NOVO

See me in sight Feel the magic Let your heart open Fight and keep going You won't be broken forever

18. this is how you fall in love - Jeremy Zucker & Chelsea Cutler

This is how you fall in love Let go and I'll hold you up So pull me tight and close your eyes Oh, my love, side to side

19. Dandelions - Ruth B.

'Cause I'm in a field of dandelions Wishing on every one that you'd be mine, mine And I see forever in your eyes I feel okay when I see you smile, smile

20. Never Say Never - The Fray

You can never say never While we don't know when But time, time and time again Younger now than we were before Don't let me go

21. I Would For You - Lauren Duski

Give you all of my time Lay my heart on the line I'd even walk through a fire I would for you Be the strong when you're weak Be the truth you believe Be the more than you need

22. Ring Pop - Jax

'Cause if we're gonna die, let us die sugar-coated Oh, we don't got a dime to our names, but we're loaded

23. Out of My Head - Theory of a Deadman

I don't know just what it is But I know I want this to last I can't get you out of my head God knows I've tried But I just can't forget

24. Something Just Like This - The Chainsmokers & Coldplay

I want something just like this

25. Paradise - Coldpay

In the night, the stormy night, she'd close her eyes In the night, the stormy night, away she'd fly

26. Yellow - Coldplay

Look at the stars Look how they shine for you And everything you do

27. I Like Me Better - Lauv

I like me better when I'm with you I knew from the first time, I'd stay for a long time 'cause I like me better when I like me better when I'm with you

28. YOUTH - Troye Sivan

My youth, my youth is yours Trippin' on skies, sippin' waterfalls My youth, my youth is yours Runaway now and forevermore

29. Never Enough - Loren Allred

Will you share this with me? 'Cause darling, without you All the shine of a thousand spotlights All the stars we steal from the night sky Will never be enough Never be enough Towers of gold are still too little These hands could hold the world but it'll Never be enough

30. I'm Yours - Jason Mraz

So, I won't hesitate no more, no more It cannot wait, I'm sure There's no need to complicate, our time is short This is our fate, I'm yours

31. REALLY REALLY - WINNER

The most beautiful thing in my eyes right now Is you If my feelings for you were money I’m a billionaire I like you

32. I Just - Red Velvet

When I close my eyes, it gets slow Your voice, your breath, your smile comes to me again On my lips, the flow, your name I’m swallowing it up, feels like I could burst I’m running again

33. This Feeling - The Chainsmokers

They tell me think with my head, not that thing in my chest They got their hands at my neck this time But you're the one that I want and if that's really so wrong Then they don't know what this feeling is like

34. The Only Exception - Paramore

And I've always lived like this Keeping a comfortable distance And up until now I had sworn to myself That I'm content with loneliness Because none of it was ever worth the risk Well, you are the only exception

35. There You Are - Zayn

Need you when I'm broken, when I'm fixed Need you when I'm well, when I'm sick Friends that I rely on don't come through They run like the river, but not you

36. Ruin My Life - Zara Larsson

Baby, come bring me hell Let it rain over me Baby, come back to me I want you to ruin my life

37. This City - Sam Fischer

This city's gonna break my heart This city's gonna love me then leave me alone This city's got me chasing stars It's been a couple months since I felt like I'm home Am I getting closer to knowing where I belong? This city's gonna break my heart

38. august - Taylor Swift

But I can see us lost in the memory August slipped away into a moment in time 'Cause it was never mine

39. Broken Melodies - NCT Dream

I lay awake Inside my head Your voice is on repeat

[fantasticcloudcreation]

Update from the cracker barrel parking lot, I made it just past halfway and stopped here to sleep but it's too hot in here even with the fan on so I can't actually sleep, plus the RV next to me has their generator going which is very noisy.... 8 hours left for tomorrow, I'll probably start driving early and just get toasted by the sun the entire morning...

Drank a lot of water and a body armor electrolyte drink (I haven't checked the cal/sugar content on those but tbh I don't think I want to know), ate a granola bar and some potato chips...

I'm mad bc apparently I was supposed to be at work today and nobody fucking told me the dates changed lmfao like they're not mad at me but I'm mad at them like I'm driving all the way down here for a week of work when it could've been 9 days instead of 7 days lmfao like it's just silly, these people need to get their shit together 😂 it's ok I was in a weird mood anyway the past couple days and now I feel refreshed and ready to start, probably would've had a meltdown today if I tried to go into work so its probably for the best. But I still would've liked to know that the dates were changed ? Like who's in charge here lol.

I'm tired and grumpy and I wish I could open my doors and get some more airflow in here, I should've booked a state park site but I didn't know how far I'd get today, it's fine just relax and breathe and think about ice cubes :) once I get to the hotel in Miami I can take an icy shower and eat a good meal and relax :) still thinking about my first trip in the van, going out to California through Oklahoma/Texas with 100+ temps and 30+mph winds, those were some shitty days of driving haha and then on the way back, it was like 115+ in Arizona and that one night it was still 98 at midnight?? And then the starter died the next day?? Yeah this ain't so bad lol I made it through all that on my very first trip. Oh and a tornado warning on the very first night lmfao wow I actually went through a lot on that journey. Maybe I need to go out west again, shake things up again. Maybe in February I'll reach out to those guys out there and see if I can work with them again. (Maybe I should upgrade my van situation before I do that so the weather isn't such a stressor on my journeys haha.) Idk it's midnight whatever I'm halfway there it's already cooling down a lil bit I'm gonna sleep til the sun comes up and then drive all day and it'll be hot but I'll survive and then life goes on etc :) stop thinking so much and go to sleep lol

[anonbinaryweirdo]

I WANT TO KNOW EVERYTHING FOR CHAELIVER SOOO HAVE FUN >:)

3, 6, 7, 8, 11, 14, 15, 19, 24, 26, 38, 37, 41, 53, 58, 60, 63, 95, 99, 106, 111

KDLFJDS ALEXIBEARR BIG SISTER <33

(3. When did you get together in your shipping canon?)

oliver met both boys at around the same time, but met childe first ! (id say about a month before meeting kaeya)...so maybe 10-12 months? oli had her heart closed off for a long while, its a miracle they made their way into it in just that amount of time &lt;//3

(6. Who made the first move?)

the boys did !! obviously. oliver avoided them when she realized she caught feelings (she fell first, and fell way too hard <//3). it took her younger sister setting her up to be cornered by the boys for her to get her shit together

(7. What was your first date like?)

kaeya took them both on a little date that consisted of walking around mondstat, then they went out for drinks to a restaurant before heading home !

(8. When did you first say "I love you" to each other?

i feel childe was the first to say it to both kaeya and oliver, and he says it a lot! it didn't take long for kaeya to follow after, but it did take quite some time for oliver to even say "love" to either of them..."some time" as in a few months (unspecified amount), much to the boys' disappointment. but, she did end up saying she loved them eventually--as a shy little slip. they were ecstatic (especially because of how embarrassed she was afterkjkdfj)

(11. First impressions of each other?)

oliver hated childe LMFAO enemies to lovers !! they met through the traveller, and she immediately hated him upon finding out he was apart of the fatui--a harbinger no less. always glaring at him, being aggressive (not passive-aggressive. just aggressive.), always trying to put him down, absolutely demolishing him if he got too close or touchy... childe, being him, took this as a challenge to get under her skin a lot more >:)) especially because of how strong she was??? ma'am.

oliver waltzed into kaeya's office and (at first, nicely) demanded for information the knights were gatekeeping, and eventually got fed up with his kaeyaness and tomfoolery and stole the documents lol. he didn't find her til about a week later when she acted like she had no idea who he even was (average oliver girlbossing activities)

(14. What initially attracted you to them versus what they were attracted to?)

shes convinced shes into dumbasses/j LMAO but no fr, for childe; it was how stubborn (never gonna get this out of her yourself) and family-orientated he was. she puts her family above everything else, too, willing to do anything it takes for them, and it's not so often she meets people who do the same for theirs. especially not a harbinger of all people. perhaps she's made judgements about his character too soon?

and for kaeya, it has to be just how deep his character actually is. not only that, but, like childe, he reminds her some of amethyst and her character...except he's more closed off and masked. it was something in her that wanted to get to know him behind to mask, rather than what he showed. she didn't know or understand why, she just did.

as for what attracted them to her, for childe; it had to be how "hard-to-get" she always was -- especially around him. not only that, but, of course, her strength. he finds her as someone worth fighting, and always tried to get her to spar with him every chance he could. he was surprised when she gave criticism the first time, even though she was pretty mean with it, practically insulting his every move and breath. still, she somehow managed to help him improve, so why wouldn't he be attracted to her?

as for kaeya; i feel it had to be how mysterious she actually was on the inside,, just like him. he knew, when he first met her, there was more to her than meets the eye--more than just some strong, stoic woman playing hard-to-get with everyone she came across that tried their luck. it was like the hurt little boy inside him felt the presence of a hurt little girl deep inside herself, and wanted nothing more but to reach out to her, even though it would be a tough fight to get past the impossible walls she's built up over the years.

(15. How do you match up with your first crushes?)

i dunno what this means 😔

(19. How publicly affectionate are you? Is it cringe, embarrassing, or do you love PDA?)

oliver is a touch-starved baby, and secretly really enjoys pda...but prefers to not initiate the first move. she'll find herself reaching out to link pinkies with one of her partners, only to shyly link her hands behind her back as soon as she reaches out. she's pretty frustrated by how shy and embarrassed she gets so easily,,, it's not that she thinks pda itself is embarrassing--she just cant bring herself to ever bring the first move. but whenever her partner does it for her (like, all the time), her face does heat up quite a bit, but she lets it happen, and even sighs a little sigh of relief when it happens.

(24. What's a gift that you've given each other that means a lot to you?)

okay okay, so, oliver being the little indoors kid she was with her siblings, learned a lot of things! one of those, being making bracelets for people she deems worthy of such affections/hj. when she got more comfortable with kaeya and childe, she spent her time making bracelets for them, and put their initials on them (k + o, a + o, and k + o + a for herself, because she wanted them to match). she approached them with her head down, and shoved the bracelets in their hands, and very quickly walking away right after. they had to chase her down just to thank her <//3 its something they all cherish SO much, especially the boys :33

(26. What's 'your song' with them? Does it remind you of each other, or have special memories attached to it?)

i dont do too good with linking songs to characters unless it involves something that'll help me stir up the angst in their lore, i apologize

(38. What is a guilty pleasure/something that you'd be embarrassed to tell them about, but want to share?)

whenever she knows that they'll be gone for a long while, she wears their clothes all over the house, and if they're, like, out of mondstat, she'll wear a piece of their clothing when she's going out...the townsfolk dont say anything though <3. she refuses to sleep on her own pillow when they're gone, instead sleeping on one of their pillows, while holding the other. uses their cologne when they're gone. (except, in contrast to the ask, she'd die before she shares any of this with them)

(37. If you're away from each other, what do you prepare for each other? Welcome back gifts, setting time aside, etc.)

i dont think kaeya would be gone for as long as childe and oliver would be, so; whenever it's kaeya and childe waiting for olivers long awaited return, they clean up the house beforehand, prepare a bath and food (because they both know damn well oliver has NOT eaten for as long as she's been out. if she was out for like a few weeks to a month or two, chances are she's only eaten like three times the entire time), or, they'll plan a date: if oliver's too tired by the time she gets home, then after she eats and bathes (nothing but princess treatment), she goes into their bedroom where there is rose petals all over the sheets and three bottles of wine on the nightstand + candles. she murmurs about how dramatic they are while cuddling w/ them, and it makes them happy :>

as for oliver and kaeya; they definitely cook for childe, which was, surprisingly, olivers idea. just because she hardly eats, doesn't mean she can't cook !! they make his favorites, even though it takes a while. but seeing his tired little freckled face brighten up at the smell of whatever was brewing up in the kitchen was always worth it :D. they talk for a bit while childe eats, but if childe wants them to eat too, then they will (they make oliver eat, but only if they know she hasnt eaten all day). then childe gets to decide what else they wanna do for the rest of the night, and they'll gladly oblige! (an immediate no from oliver if it has anything to do with fighting)

(41. What are your names saved as in each other's phones?)

modern au lesogoOOOOIGHjbns aight so, oliver probably changes their contacts based on how much they irritated her last, and, chances are, childe's nickname 80% of the time is "Ginger. Do not answer." but by default? "Ajax 💚" or "Kaeya 💚". or "Manchild(e) + Kaeya/derogatory" because that is something i would do

kaeya has her down as "My Princess 🩵" and childe as "My Prince 🩵" probably

as for childe i have no clue. its a wild card. guess.

(53. What do your sleeping arrangements look like? Do you sleep together, or in separate beds?)

ever since oliver asked them to let them move into her house, they're always sleeping together. it used to didn't matter where they slept, but oliver would wake up on the floor or under the bed so they put her in the middle so she wouldn't accidentally kill herself with how messy a sleeper she was <//3. childe is such a blanket hog istg. now, kaeya can probably sleep without blankets (psychopath), but if oli doesnt have anything covering her, he'll have to take the blankets back from childe and make him share,, childe does half-wake up with an eepy little apology and covers oliver though, and its cute it gets both of them a kiss on the forehead from eyepatch man <33

(58. When you go shopping, who takes the longest? Who's the worst to shop with?)

oliver and childe are s t a c k e d with mora, so they prefer spoiling each other + kaeya. between the two, it's a race to see who can steal/hide the other's wallet before they leave the house to see who gets dibs on paying for everything. its so amusing to watch omg <//3. if childe has to suffer not paying for anything, then. oh my god. him and kaeya take the longest time in the store. checking every outfit and every little accessory, both for themselves AND oliver. literally drags her around to find as many matching items as they can. they're lucky she has money and loves them (she guesses) or else she'd tel them put EVERYTHING back istg

if it was oliver that couldn't bring her wallet, she wouldn't get much, really. she'd help kaeya and childe shop around, and accept whatever they pciked out for her, but other than that, she herself doesnt buy much. to make up for that, she lets them shove her into the dressing room multiple times just to try on the outfits they think she'd look good in (they're convinced she looks good in anything but she doesnt believe it fr)

(60. When you take pictures together, how do you pose? Do you like taking pics together?)

oliver doesn't like pictures, and tries to cover herself whenever one is on her. and the boys, of course, takes this as a challenge to sneak up on her as many times as they possibly can >:) but she honestly doesnt mind it when they mush her next to them for a picture, and, while she wont admit that, the way she ""SUBTLY"" looks at them so softly in the final picture is enough for them to know. i feel like its mostly selfies, but when they do do silly things, they have to quite literally beg oliver to partake in the silly activities, because she will refuse otherwise <//3 they have to plead for her to even do the thing with her hair where you pretend to have a mustache (childe i kid you not cut off a piece of his hair just to do this, oliver slapped him). they probably all use kaeyas long ass hair to give all three of them the same blue mustache hehe. you wont catch oliver dead sticking her tongue out in a photo

(63. Do you take care of each other when you're sick? Who's an absolute mess when they're sick?)

i feel that they're all pretty stubborn when it comes to letting the other take care of them, but eventually they give in and lets them coddle them for as long as they're sick !! oliver's definitely the most stubborn about it, and can hide it for probably days until it gets so bad she's ready to die (then gets scolded by the boys like there's no tomorrow). that is- if she's not caught redhanded before it gets bad (probably gaslights her way out of the situation)

CHILDE. when he gets sick he's fucking m i s e r a b l e. dont ask me why i just know. and then, he acts like the BIGGEST. BABY. when sick. if oliver or kaeya isnt spoonfeeding him he wont eat the damn soup point blank period. both him and oliver have it in common when it comes to literally hiding away from their medicine though <//3

if either of the boys refuse to take their medicine or listen to oliver, the glare she gives them is enough to keep them in bed for at least two days dfhdgk

(95. Who is the most supportive of your relationship?)

both oliver and childe's side of the family, and secretly diluc shhhh. only oliver knows that though because they're besties, but he does make subtle comments whenever kaeya's around (not childe. childe can suck it)

olivers mother supports it entirely; she watched kaeya and his brother grow up for a little until they moved to liyue, where oliver and her siblings stayed until adulthood. so she's pretty happy about that! she had mixed feelings with childe at first, but honestly, as long as her princess is happy, she's content with what they have. it takes a while for olivers siblings (i mean ALL of them. her younger sister was already supporting it before they were together) to support either boys,,,skldfjkf especially childe <//3

(99. What's a common misconception about your relationship?)

that the love isn't actually "all there". let me explain;

childe and oliver already practically hated each other at first, and even now she acts as though she can't stand him, but thats only when they're not behind closed doors. in all honesty, she acts like that with pretty much everybody, but its...different, because that's her lover.

personal hc !! kaeya wasn't in any kind of relationship before this one, and only flirted and hit on people every now and then. oliver doesnt really care what either guy does because she wouldn't date them if she didn't put her trust in them at all. so when she acts indifferent to kaeyas flirting (that has toned down a bit, since he's in a committed relationship now), people tend to think she doesnt care at all, and that she wouldnt care if he "cheated" (something i doubt kaeya would ever do in any universe). which is...untrue. entirely. same case scenario for childe??

or that childe is literally a harbinger. with someone who's known to hate anything having to do with the fatui in any sense, and a captain of the knights...this by itself is self-explanatory, but none of it is trueeee

im almost certain that they would absolutely put their lives on the line for one another, and love each other more than words can even express. so even if they did know about this misconceptions, i doubt they'd pay ANY mind to them, because they know how untrue they are. the audacity for someone who doesn't even know about the depths of their love and make assumptions about it anyway is amusing. irritating, but amusing bc they dont care lol they love each other and THEY know they love each other, that's all that really matters :shrug:

(106. If you could give advice to yourselves when you started, what would you say to each other?)

"What they make us feel has been, and will always be much more stronger than any fight with a strong enemy ever's made us feel. Eventually, you'll learn that you have to start picking fights carefully, not only for your own sake, but theirs. They're more important to us than any adrenaline rush will ever be. They are the rush. Except it never goes away."

"Stop being so scared to trust your heart. You don't always have to listen to your head, you know. It's okay to love them. It's perfectly fine to love. You'll have to let down your walls eventually. It took us way longer than it should have to do just that. So stop running away from your feelings and just love them like we know we want to."

"There's no need to be so afraid of making the right or wrong choice. You'll know which one you've made, as long as you've still got them with you through and by the end of everything. Remember; they're our choice, our decision, at the end of the day. Always has been. It just took a while to figure that out. Don't worry about hiding who we are. Not with them."

(111. What does this self-ship mean to you?)

a lot. its a huge comfort ship, and it's helped me get through a bunch. i love them like i would do a real person, and that itself should say a lot about how i feel about them as a character. i absolutely adore them, and i hope i always will ����

[charlottedabookworm]

Dawntrail Day 7+8 (part 1/2)

spoilers up to: lvl100 msq quest Dawntrail

original draft date: 4-5/7/24

scheduled release for: 31/7/2024

working on day 7 so i’m merging these. since i’ve only got a couple hours i'mma do my tribals on picto and then do the instance i stopped at yesterday, hopefully get close to a dungeon/trial unlock but really not got much time. day 8 i'm finishing up msq 100% no matter how long it takes me and then hopefully doing the two optional dungeons!

*

…completely forgot that zoraal ja gave the order to kill all the civilians in solution nine

nice way to start the morning

*

“I have no more use of you, begone”

hmmmm thats an odd thing to say considering you were claiming he wasn’t your son before

fingers crossed nothings up with gulool ja

*

annnnd fade to black with the echoing sound of an execution shot lovely haven’t heard that since shadow ringers

*

pfft that last one!

except i really don't care what sphene thinks ngl

*

otis is back!

yes!

really didn’t want to kill him

*

damn

he was a good guy

*

okay but-

where is erenville?

they wouldn’t kill him off offscreen i know that much but we’d better not find him dying i swear to fucking everything I will-

*

*stares at crying child*

fuuuuck i really hope you're not a trap

*

oh thank fuck he's alive

also sorry your mums dead and has been a probably a long time mate

*

huh

he didn't mention it

why didn't you mention it erenville, what are you thinking rn?

*

no, please

this actually is important information to have

considering your mum is possibly the same sort of endless otis is and she had to end up that way somehow

*

love looking at this ngl

so much easier and nicer doing it as you progress through the zones

*

i made it to the fifth dungeon unlock but since there's almost certainly a trial afterwards and i have barely enough time to do the dungeon if i zoom through it, i'mma wait and do it in the morning

soooo wondrous tails time for picto ig

*

oh

thats just rude we didn't need that

*

ayyy alphi esti and shtola!

only reason theyve shown up just before i should be unlocking a trial is cos it can be done in trust? maybe? pls?

*

fuuuck that looks like a voidgate to me

zoraal ja wtf have you been doing

*

oh?

could it maybe lead to whichever reflection the alexandrian's are from

final zone in another shard? maybe?

*

so ig it’ll be like ‘we beat him he flees we chase’

boom final zone and trial and dungeon?

either that or sphene will actually be the final boss which still wouldn’t surprise me

*

the framing reminds me of hades ngl

like it tho

*

i know you're having a crisis but has it occured to you that you were born because your dad liked kids? like i know your entire existence is like. a miracle and gulool ja ja didn't know he could have bio kids til you were born but that man obviously lived for being a dad

*

this music-

just gonna sit here and listen to this for a bit before i enter the trial lol

*

genuinely forgot that y'shtola used to run around as a conjurer

it feels like so long ago now lol and i half expected them to have rdm healer ali again

*

okay his second phase actually looks cool

and isn't a massive floating head sitting at the edge of the arena which gives many bonus points

*

zoraal ja looks pretty dead to me and we still have a dungeon and trial to go so-

sphene, cachuia, or some third unknown threat? taking bets now

*

yeah it’s sphene 100% isn’t it

‘deliver my people’ huh

*

yeahhhh there we go

*

once again, i agree with ali

how many will you slaughter, sphene, so that your endless (yourself included) will live another day

how many children will you sacrifice so that your may live your hundredth lifetime

*

but they aren't remembered

i'm gonna scream how dare you say that when your system removes the memories of a deceased person from everyone who knew them

how dare you-

*

how dare you bring his mother into this

his mother, who everyone from his village has forgotten because of your system-

i-

*

don't worry koana, it's not the first time

this is basically a tuesday for me i'll keep your sister safe

*

i love him he's so sweet

i'm so glad gulool ja didn't turn out to be a trap

that probably would have broken my heart

*

that graphics update really looking peak on the af gear

wow

look at that metal

(now to time glam back over it)

*

so thw question is

another dungeon immediately?

huh nope

*

ooooooo it so pretty

it has canals

*

cachuia i'm guessing

i see where erenville gets the pretty from

*

oh

oh erenville love you're not going to take this well

your mother is dead and alive (did she get a choice? did they just pluck up her memories adn make her endless?) and she wants them all to die again

*

i love this

but also raha breaking my heart every expansion he's in

love him for that

*

oh so we're continuing to traumatise both erenville and wuk lamat i see

great

wonderful

thank you very much for that square

*

screaming crying throwing up why are you doing this to me

*

"I'm put in mind of Lyhe Mheg"

a tribe quest reference? in my final fantasy 14 msq?

*

this cutscene is legit one of my favourite parts of the expansion

sure we gotta shut down the memories of all these kids but we'll give them something nice before that

*

ayo wtf

those are kriles bio parents

so i see we’re spreading the trauma to krile to join with erenville and wuk lamat

glad she can maybe get some closure tho

*

love raha running up to krile and her parents and just chomping down on ice cream to break the ice between her parents

he’s such a good friend

*

....oh i hit the image cap.

alright part 2 incoming

[rgr-pop]

i gave the new islands another listen too. i feel like this is the first album in a long time where he has given us a lot of clues for how we should think about it. i’m unraveling it. he said it was the last islands album and then he took it back, said he just gave that blurb to the publicist for fun. it’s a more different album than he’s put out in a long time, which i expected. there’s something primally him about it (quite a lot of critter songs), which was supposed to be the case. he recorded it at his home (vancouver island, origin of the unicorns/islands cosmology). there’s a comedy here that’s been in his other work but not his music. and he says it’s a lot about canadian singer-songwriters.

he’s been so profoundly impacted by what is going on in gaza. this is an artist who put out an anti-war fantasy pop record when he was like, 22, and it was one of the most beloved indie records of its moment, but nobody took it seriously as a political record, and that made him mad so he broke up the band (ok other factors also broke up the unicorns lol) and he started a new project and put out an on-the-nose ecocrit (islands) epic album, which also was beloved til it was sort of forsaken. and then they put out many more albums about basically this same problem: the self absorption of crying the end of the world and nobody caring, making pop music as a death fetish, the joke of being a narrator at the end of the world, other sagittarius things. the first three were well liked. after that they’d only sometimes get reviewed. just a bunch of insane women catching them (in my humble opinion), sort of political music kind of adrift between two eras of political music. in there somewhere there’s this album where he is adrift in the sea and thinking about how we never loved him enough! til eventually a modest podcast left redemption. he’s always thinking about the same thing (islands: being a character in a caspar david friedrich painting reversed; death as a symbol of the end of the world and vice versa). and now there’s this happening again. so another album: he must have recorded most of this thing since october 7. i should try to nail the timeline down. he just goes online and talks about gaza. i’m always donating to enter his little giveaways lol

he made all this to do about “the end” as the last song on this “last” album, but i love how it starts best, and this really just his whole project repeated (again —i can’t possibly overstate how many songs he has made that are like “well this is what my music has been about”): left behind and they want you to believe, but what occurs was always meant to be, a taste of melancholy that brings you to your knees. (“everybody’s bracing for a real armageddon.”)

i don’t like it as much as the last album, (and that’s why dolphins lost their legs, which is a clowncore album about melodrama and my favorite song on it offers giving your body-car up to a forest car crash like a mix between the end of the haunting of hill house and that story where the lady drove her car into lake huron because her gps said to), but it’s helped me put the pieces together (the long slow process of ranking and explaining all the islands albums as one of the few people that listens to all of them.) i like it more than the album before that (islomania). before that album, in 2016, he put out two albums—well, two albums and a 10 year anniversary rerelease of the first album, return to the sea. one of these albums, taste, is, i think, the second best islands record (after return to the sea). the other album, should i remain here at sea? is a concept album about having put out this misunderstood ecocritic epic a decade earlier, and being adrift between two historical moments of political music. imo lol. (i still don’t totally know what to make of it).

i put taste on halfway through drafting this post. one of my favorite lines, in the first song: “like time, like one long line, folded into 8 or 9.” it’s one of the least climate apocalypse islands albums (it’s really low concept, about a breakup), but it does have a song whose chorus is “melt melt melt my body, melt melt melt my body / there’s gonna be a reckoning, it’s gonna cover everything.” and that’s basically it!

(my favorite line on taste: a turned off machine, it’s never been much use to me, i come to, i rose again, but it feels off, like the wheel’s off.)

[edenwolfie]

20 questions for fic writer

I was tagged by @naamah-beherit! thanks for the tag, this one was fun!

1. how many works do you have on ao3? 8

2. what’s your total ao3 word count? 897,063 lol

3. what fandoms do you write for? Posted Labyrinth, Star Wars, MDZS & TGCF, and written but not posted for Star Trek, Marvel, SVSSS & Trigun

4. what are your top five fics by kudos? #1: Just say yes (MDZS / Kudos: 10,035) #2: Just say there's nothing holding you back (MDZS / Kudos: 6,024) #3: Sigh No More (Star Wars / Kudos: 5,546) #4: I’m aching and I know you are too (MDZS / Kudos: 4,481) #5: ’Til our compass stands still (TGCF / Kudos: 3,962)

5. do you respond to comments? I do try to as much as I can when posting a fic, but after I've finished fics unless I have something to add or a comment particularly moved me, I tend not to due to it being a little time consuming and repetitive to work through--though all are loved and appreciated beyond words!!

6. what’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? None of them lol. Look upon my collection of fix-it fics and weep (at their fluffy endings)

7. what’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Again, all of them, but I think ’Til our compass stands still is the one that makes me smile the most.

8. do you get hate on fics? I have gotten a couple of odd comments, but is very rare.

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind? Oh yeah. The smutty kind? Whatever takes my fancy really, I've posted a lot of my soft shit, but there's definitely some darker/kinkier stuff in the old WIP pile.

10. do you write crossovers? what’s the craziest one you’ve written? Not really one for crossovers, only one I started was for Star Wars/MDZS that I will likely never finish.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen? Good old Sigh No More was one of those fics that was being sold on Amazon amongst a number of other folks fics.

12. have you ever had a fic translated? Yes! My series Just Say Yes has been translated to Russian.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before? No, I have not.

14. what’s your all-time favorite ship? Boy that's a hard one. Probably K/S. They the OG for good reason.

15. what’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? Honestly, if I actually want to finish it, I will make it happen. I also don't start posting until I am sure I have the whole thing plotted out and can finish it. I have a lot of WIPs, but many are little disconnected scenes I like to play with like Barbies that don't really have Plot and I don't really intend to finish. I suppose if the Wangxian brain took me again, I'd like to finish the WIP titled 'Canon Typical Dubious Consent' fic, but it's a huge mess and would need a lot more coherency to it.

16. what are your writing strengths? I think I'm pretty good with dialogue, character, and plot.

17. what are your writing weaknesses? The bits in between those things, descriptions and such. I also have a penchant for reusing words a lot and repeating myself, though I do try to clean that up in edits lol

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? If it's there for a reason I don't see why not, but I also likely wouldn't do so mainly because I'm not particularly fluent in anything other than English and would worry too much about fucking it up.

19. first fandom you wrote for? Labyrinth on ff.net a thousand years ago

20. favorite fic you’ve ever written? Definitely ’Til our compass stands still, that one is my Baby.

I'm tagging whoever feels like doing it!

[rarepairnation]

20 questions for writers!

tagged by @emyn-arnens literally over a month ago and im finally getting to it now lol much love thank you for continuing to tag me in things even though im the worst at doing them sometimes.

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 65 (15 of them are under my archive pseud though lol)

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 265,381

3. What fandoms do you write for? actively writing for lotr, pacific rim, my secret little marvel rarepair

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? these are so funny they're all my avatar work from before i remade on this blog. well throwback i guess. they're still dear to me.

open arms, atla sokka coming out to his dad

earth system history, atla sokka/zuko college au where zuko is an earth scientist

[redacted h*rry p*tter work from 2016]

love's not for show, atla bato/hakoda sokka creates a master plan to get his dad and bato to admit that theyre dating but they're NOT

knife loves heart, human loves human, james bond 007/q post-spectre fixit fic (my Only 00q and possibly also my only fixit fic?)

5. Do you respond to comments? i try so so so hard but the executive function that allows me to say anything coherent only comes around every so often lol

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? a couple contenders for this one but if we're talking strictly the ending probably i'm not leaving (til we make it home) (exu calamity patia & laerryn / patia & the ring of brass exploring her relationship with love and loneliness and finally being free to express how much she loves her friends only in the last hours of her life and dying happy for it).

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? also a couple contenders for this one but i feel like many of them are tinged with not a small amount of melancholy. so we are going with a big throwback to sun through open windows (atlok mako/wu plotless little morning routines fic that is about nothing in particular but also about realizing you have everything your younger self thought you would never have).

8. Do you get hate on fics? not in a long long time (like probably 7-8 years) thank god!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? yes although none of it is published (yet). what kind? idk man whatever im horny about this month. ok but for serious. really been into character developing smut. do u know what i mean. i’m telling you something about who each of these people are and how they view each other through the way they fuck. this probably says quite a lot about me

10. Do you write crossovers? i'm not much for the kind where characters from different franchises Interact, but i am partial to taking some guys and translating them to a different setting. ah to put characters in a situation and watch as the fundamental core of their being stays the same....

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? hope not lol

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? not that i'm aware of!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? yes! we have not finished it but it's absolutely CORE thesis-level influential on my entire psyche. even if we never get back to it i'll think about it until the day i die and that is not an exaggeration.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship? of ALL TIME? i straight up dont know if i can answer this one. ALL TIME???? my long-term emotional permanence is NOT good enough and my recency bias is too strong for this. ok i think the only way i can answer this is with the ship that has gotten the deepest into my psyche and my soul. which is yancytendo pacific rim. they. affect me. on a level i will probably never be able to fully explain. the 'giving a guy built only to be a thematic device a personality and a history and deep gut-wrenching grief' of it all. the 'you are in love with a guy who is doomed by the narrative and despite your best efforts it means that he is a personification of all the grief you carry inside of you' of it all. yancy becket you will live forever in my heart tendo choi you will ALWAYS be famous. augh. yeah i picked right

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

hmm probably something about the way you look tonight, my mallorytanner thesis statement fic, the genesis of which was genuinely a life-altering event to me. i was listening to the titular elton john song walking home from a general chemistry exam in the snow and i was struck so violently with An Image for truly the first time in my life. truly not ONCE before that moment had that happened to me. this was in my freshman year of college this fic has existed in various forms for going on FIVE YEARS. will it ever be done. GOD i fucking hope so. i actually do hold out hope for that one.

the one i am actually hopeless on ever finishing is orogenesis, the sprawling expanded stemverse pianjeong backstory au fic. the whole structure of it is quite clear in my head actually. i just didn't have the life experience to create the plot structure to go with the emotional beats when it generated itself in my mind in 2020-21 and now that i DO have it the problem is that the inciting event is incredibly clear to me and yet bears too close of a resemblance to. personal events and horrors. for me to ever finish it! i'll think about it forever though. creating and writing that au changed my life for real it was the longest thing i'd ever written and the best when i wrote it and it's still very close to my heart.

16. What are your writing strengths? characterization and character development baby. evocative use of metaphor in descriptions of both character and setting. lavish description.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? PLOT. cant create that from my brain and i rarely attempt it. i have plenty of stuff to write about that does not require it. relatedly not great at worldbuilding.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? generally don't do it much except for a stray word or two. i don't mind reading it though! tolkien fic writers who translate full sentences you are god's strongest soldiers.

19. First fandom you wrote for? ough this one will be embarrassing. entering the archive pseud. wait is it also tolkien that's funny. life is a circle in some ways. this is first fandom on my ao3 account btw. the VERY first one i wrote for...i will take that knowledge to the grave.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

ah i feel like my answer for this one changes every time but i can't help it, i love many of my darlings equally. this time im giving the spotlight to life holds onto you, my chris pike & jim kirk post-star trek 2009 fic that is a few thousand words of 'what if your sort of son feared that you thought he was taking everything you ever wanted from you and he is right that you have thought that but you are learning how wrong you are.' i cried in the university library writing it and reread it recently and remembered it was good. recency bias baby

tagging the usual suspects @potatoesandsunshine @aaronstveit

[shizuoi]

20 Questions (for fanfic writers)

thank you for tagging me @seek--rest ♡♡♡

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

81

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

468,946

3. what fandoms do you write for?

i dabble in anything that attracts my interest, but for the last year it's been exclusively lockwood & co!

4. top five fics by kudos:

my scorching sun, show me the way (marvel's eternals)

you'll find love with me somehow (marvel's eternals)

i can see your heart beneath your ribcage (you should save it for me) (enola holmes)

prepare for trouble (and make it double) (the magnus archives)

pulling teeth behind bottom lip (山河令 word of honor)

5. do you respond to comments?

yes unless they make me uncomfortable

6. what is the fic your wrote with the angstiest ending?

i don't really write non-happy endings but you might think you've caught her (but you've blown your only shot) (tua) had an open-ended dark ending which was pretty ooc for me

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

dskjalhsgdfjkal literally close your eyes and click on any of my fics tbh but recency bias demands the hanahaki au heartburn (l&co)

8. do you get hate on fics?

maybe once or twice but i deleted the comments immediately and haven't thought of them since. i don't tend to write in very big fandoms so i fly under the radar for the most part i think

9. do you write smut?

do i ever :3

10. craziest crossover:

i'm more an au person than a crossover person; closest thing that would qualify would be the l&co now you see me au pros and cons

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

i...think so? it wasn't a direct copy/stolen per se, but it felt heavily inspired...

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

many times!! very honored every time people ask ♡

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

TheMalapert and RainShadow07 and i have a few things cooking (katabasis, permutations, a secret new series coming up :3)

14. all time favorite ship?

oh jesus this is tough but i can't say no to some good spirk

15. what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

mm not sure, my interests bounce around a lot so sometimes i'll think i won't ever pick anything up again and then BAM inspo so i'm gonna cop out of this question LOL

16. what are your writing strengths?

dialogue and realistic character interactions and introspection. characters are very important to me and i always strive to do them justice by taking readers through their struggles in a compelling way that makes the outcome that much more satisfying. i also think i do a decent job at creating interesting worlds (on the surface)

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

following up with my previous answer, i'm good at ideating smaller/surface worlds, but my worldbuilding is pretty weak when you dig deeper. i do this on purpose sometimes because if i get too sucked up in the worldbuilding/situation, it throttles my ability to explore characters without feeling trapped and that really frustrates me. i have a fic im going to post this month that i did so much research for the world and parts of the character's backstory that i'm creating that i basically paralyzed myself for months because i was too afraid to write the character inaccurately in accordance with all the research i had done and knowledge i had accumulated. definitely something i would like to improve on!

18. thoughts on dialogue in another language?

when done with respect and intention, it's a very powerful tool. i have a fic that i'm writing where there's non-english dialogue and i think about this poem often

19. first fandom you wrote in?

young justice i think? (on ye olde ff.net)

20. favorite fic you've written?

til' veins run red and blue because it has a strange longevity on ao3 and every time i go back to read it just to make sure it's not bad i always emerge very pleased with myself LOL

tagging: @ohmyoverland, @synestheticwanderings, @woahpip, @dappledwrites, @lemonsharks, and anyone else who wants to partake!! consider yourself tagged ♡♡♡

[lorddarkkitty]

{This post has to do with my dreams that had involved both Eustass and Killer from one piece just letting y’know in advance. It also involves my belief around dreams so… yea. Heads up}

Okay let me start this post before I forget. (Edit: I indeed forgot to continue it lol)

So yesterday (6/7/23) I had a dream that had like Eustass in it. And he always kinda grumpy in my dreams but never harms me. Anyways he telling me to stay put why I don’t know but my ass don’t like to listen to I run ahead of him through these halls. And the walls were PlayStation 1 bloody texture kind of, red , right. And I’m running really fast and I triggered all the traps somehow avoiding get hurt. ( I also passed like this what seemed like Mario with this vacuum on his back like Luigi and the haunted mansion 3. Is this relevant not really) so I get into this room and I hear him running to catch up to me and he mad but I wake up.

But the thing is I don’t wake up scared of anything or like something is wrong or off. Nor do I feel like I been drained.

Now today (6/8/23) I had what felt like a nightmare but this time is had like Killer in it but he wasn’t wearing his mask. And you know he ate the smile fruit. So he was smiling all the time. But I was scared of him and trying to escape him. I think I was in some weird warping (dream logic) house but every time I’d try to get out through the window he was already outside that window waiting for me and I just turn back and run to somewhere. I was so terrified of him cause of his smile. Something didn’t feel right y’know. which I think it’s cause I watched the horror movie Smile cause that’s how it felt but I didn’t watch that movie the night before or even during the week it was months ago literally the first night it came to Amazon prime for free watch.

Anyways at some point I’m in this bed room. I’m on this double bed it pushed to the wall and that wall has a window and I open it to climb through and of course I can’t cause he outside right there waiting and so now I’m standing on this bed crying. And I must of given up cause I’m not running anymore and now killer’s behind me (this is where dream things get weird cause I’m not in first person view anymore.) and he not violent. He doesn’t hurt me. He loves his hand onto my wait and I’m breathing hard cause I’m crying like ima bout die. And he didn’t turn me around but takes his right hands and like cups the left side on my face like to wipe away tears and gently laying down on that bed. I don’t ever look at him and just continue to cry. But i wake up.

And I wake up with my heart racing like I do with any nightmare that I had but I also feel wrong. I’m extremely exhausted like I didn’t sleep at all. Which is weird. And I’ll explain why cause yea I had a nightmare your probably thinking yea you’re gonna feel like that. But like there is a difference something you feel you just know isn’t right. The whole chasing me and his gentleness before I woke up is so suspicious.

It might be strange considering the day before with my dream Eustass was in I was like” it always Eustass and never Killer. A whole -be careful for what you wish for- moment. Ha. Any dream I had with Eustass in it I never felt like I was in danger. But the dream with Killer I did. I inherently believe that something was chasing me around in my dream disguised as Killer. Probably thought it could trick me to get closer to me like that since he is my favorite character but I knew something was off which is why I was running away from him til my bitch ass gave up. The way he smiled was just wrong I can’t explain it. I believe this cause I woke up as if something has taken my energy.

I had nightmares before where I wake up and my heart is racing but never felt like something was wrong or that I was completely exhausted like I haven’t slept a wink.

Reasons why I believe is cause I use to lucid dream and I remember them really fucking well. Cause they were all night mares. And one of them I was literally BEGGING IN THE DREAM, SCREAMING TO WAKE UP, FOR SOMEONE TO WAKE ME UP.

After that I started sleeping with certain stuff that would help stop that but I stopped dreaming all together for a while. Or if I did I just didn’t remember them when I woke up but I always remember dreams when I woke up. Only after like 10 minutes they would fade away to be forgotten unless I replay it in my head over and over again to remember. But sometimes I’m get scared to dream or have dreams for a long while now cause I’m terrified of either getting stuck in a dream where I can’t escape or dealing with unfriendly things that can lurk in the dream plane or things that can use the dream plane to get to me. Which absolutely terrifies me.

I also think of it as something interesting. And I needed to get it out of my system and somewhere to put it lol.