#three and a half hours average daily | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bitterreid · 4 days ago

Text

🫖 French Vanilla 🫖

Summary: Spencer simply cannot stay away from the cute barista at his local coffee shop. He tried, he really did, but there he is again, on the doorstep.

Wordcount: 3.2k (fluff)

Contains: fem!reader, Spencer being down bad (as he should be), a criminal amount of sugar in coffee that is almost as sweet as this fluff, kissingggg whooo

A/N: Since I myself am a barista, with a degree in literature may I add, I NEEDED to supply all of you with a coffee shop AU!!! Let me know what you think :)))

⋆⭒˚.⋆🫖 ⋆⭒˚.⋆

Lately, Spencer Reid had been doing something that he ordinarily would never do. Frequenting a coffee shop.

While he was very well aware of the fact that the average American spent wasted approximately $1.140 on take-away coffees in a single year, he now found himself, once again, in front of the glass doors to the cozy little café.

Normally, he always brewed his first cup of coffee at home before going to the office, and then had his second and sometimes third when he got there. On this one particular day, though, he fell into the alluring trap that constitutes a local coffee shop.

It had been autumn, somewhere mid October, when Spencer's alarm clock had failed to perform its daily duty. The power had gone out in the entire building, resulting in Spencer being woken up only half an hour before he had to be at Quantico. He had left his cozy bed in a hurry and scoured downstairs as fast as he could in the first clothes he could grab. In a still half sleep-dunken state he had caught the subway, flown through the streets, and eventually made it to the city with five minutes to spare.

Continuing his every day route, normally overly punctual and about half an hour earlier than he was stalking the streets that day, he passed by his usual locations. The library, the plant shop, the Italian restaurant with its obnoxious red and white patterned tables. The buildings were still asleep, as usual, their lights still dimmed and quiet this early in the morning, except for one.

Spencer unintentionally slowed his step at the smell of fresh coffee. He couldn't help it. A quick glance at his watch told him it would be a risk, but if he were to look and act even remotely human during the briefing, he'd better get his caffeine boost in. At least, that's what he told himself while he pushed open the heavy doors and stepped into the warmth of a cozy, golden-lit room.

The first thing he heard when the warmth hit his face was the coffee machine grinding the beans. The second was your voice.

"Hi."

Spencer thinks that's when he was done for. That's when his fate was sealed, all was over, everyone could go home, it was a done deal: you.

"Hello," luckily the word left his lips on their own volition, though unfortunately, that was about where his dialogue dried up. His eyes scrambled around for a menu, an idea, a vague hint, what he was in there for, what he came for again. But they kept floating back to you.

You, who seemed to be entirely unaware of his internal malfunction, who kept smiling at him as you arranged the coffee cups in order- coffee. He had come for coffee, of course. Coffee.

"What can I help you with?" you asked, voice soft and friendly.

"I, um, can I get a coffee? Just an- an americano is fine." He hoped the smile on his lips conveyed the same warmth that yours radiated, though he doubted it, and not some mirror of the chaos inside his head at the minute.

"Of course!" Your movements somehow seemed soft and easy, gliding through the motions of preparing the double espresso shot. "You're lucky, normally we don't open for," you glanced at the clock on the wall behind you, "three more minutes, but everything is already set up today." Your smile didn't waver in warmth and it was difficult for Spencer to feel guilty about coming in too early when you seemed so unbothered and nice, though of course it was Spencer, and panic was his second name.

"Oh!" immediate wide eyes, "oh I didn't know! Otherwise I wouldn't have, I would never-"

But he was stopped in his ramblings by your laugh, "No problem! Really, I promise," you said as you handed Spencer his coffee.

He swallowed, mustered up another smile and thanked you for the cup. The hot paper against his palms somewhat shocked him out of his trance, grounding him back in reality. "How much do I owe you?" he asked, fishing his wallet out of his shoulder bag.

Spencer hardly heard you say the price, but he tipped you generously, apparently, seeing as your eyebrows shot up and you thanked him with another radiant smile. He smiled back, hoping he didn't look as much as a baby deer on ice as he felt, and started backing out towards the door. "Have a nice day," he managed to say in what could arguably be called a normal human voice.

"You too!" you called as you waved him out the door.

Spencer might have gotten his caffeine that day, but function, he did not. On the way to the bullpen he had stopped to pour three packets of sugar into his coffee (definitely not because he had been too embarrassed to ask you, or anything), but even that couldn't keep him focussed.

Of course Morgan had been on his case from the second he stepped into the building, Americano still in hand and exactly three minutes late, but even his hazing hadn't bothered him. He just couldn't stop thinking about you. And of course he knew that was ridiculous, of course he knew he didn't even know your name, let alone you as a person, and that on average, one develops dozens of meaningless crushes on strangers in their lifetime without any of them having any real consequences, per se… and yet.

All the facts in the world couldn't explain how despite his genius, Spencer Reid was once again pushing open that door.

It had been around seven months (seven months, one week and two and a half days, actually) since that morning, and Spencer had never managed to stay away longer than a few days at a time. At first, he had been sorely disappointed a few times, coming in only to be greeted by one of your colleagues, but he had quickly memorised your schedule. (He tried his best not to feel like a creep, he really did.)

"Spencer!" Your voice was soft and warm and better than any coffee, and Spencer felt his own face light up as soon as he saw yours.

"Hi," he said, dropping into one of the bar stools at the side of the counter where - as he deduced through careful observation - only the barista's favourite customers were allowed to sit. It had been his spot for a couple of months now, after you beckoned him one afternoon so it would be 'easier to chat.' Spencer had almost choked on his latte.

Now there he sat, long legs wound around the legs of the chair, watching you work and chatting with you when you weren't busy. He always brought a book, as it seemed he at least had to try to give himself a purpose apart from coming over to be near you.

He had also tried literally every single drink on the menu. He got bored with his Americano rather quickly, plus he needed to invent believable excuses to talk to you those first few times, and you explaining all the ingredients in the new seasonal flavours had been enough for him. From a single espresso to rhubarb tea, to tumeric chai latte's, Spencer Reid had tried it. Was he a little embarrassed to sit there sometimes with his caramel drizzle pumpkin spice iced oat latte? Maybe. But that all washed away when you would come over to his corner to talk when you weren't busy, like right now.

"He's back," you stage whispered to Spencer, who knew exactly who you were talking about.

"No," he said in a tone he had picked up from Penelope when she gossiped.

"Hmh," you hummed with wide eyes, "came in like usual, gave me his stupid wink like usual, got on my nerves like usual," you rambled off while you hand cleaned one of the milk pitchers, "when will he take the hint?"

You were talking about another loyal customer, though you were very clear about how his loyalty was the last thing you wanted. Spencer spotted him immediately at the small table in one of the corners of the room. The guy just looked slimy, even from far away. You had dubbed him monologue, for the way he always kept and kept and kept on annoying you with things to say when you were clearly busy. He had been flirting with you since the first time he had come in, which was exactly the moment you had decided you hated his guts, as his obnoxious attitude immediately put you off.

"So what will it be today, Doctor?"

Spencer still flustered at the nickname even though you had been using it ever since you found what he did for work a while ago. "What are you offering?"

"Hmm, well, you've had a dirty chai before, right?" Spencer nodded, "So, there's this thing called a nasty chai, with two shots instead of one."

"Nasty? Doesn't sound too appealing," Spencer mused, though he knew very well he'd drink anything you made him.

You snickered, "No, I know, I was wondering earlier how far these superlative's carry, you know? If I pour in three shots, is it a slutty chai?"

Spencer joined your laughing, reveling in the sound.

"And when does it just become an absolutely vile, morally corrupt chai?"

Spencer had to laugh at that, shaking his head and suppressing the love sick giggles threatening to spill over, "I don't know, but I'm not sure I want to find out, I think" he conceded.

"Alright, just nasty then, Doctor?"

"Just nasty, please" he said, adorning his signature close lipped smile to tone down the fondness in his eyes.

⋆⭒˚.⋆⭒˚.⋆

Spencer looked up from his book just in time to see you roll your eyes at him from behind the register. There monologue was again, keeping you from the long line of customers behind him with what looked like a desperate attempt to seem interesting. Spencer could only guess what he was going on about this time, but he recognised the look of relief in your eyes when he finally abandoned his mission for the day and winked his farewell. You and Spencer shuddered in sync.

When the majority of customers had left for the day and you approached his chair again, you came bearing another sweet concoction.

"Just got this in, try it," you commanded softly, "I think you'll like it."

Spencer abandoned his book mid-sentence to take the steaming cup from you and took a small sip. It was deliciously sweet, just how he liked it, indeed. "It's good," he nodded, "what's in it?"

You smiled, "It's a flat white with a bit of our new French vanilla syrup," you held up a glass bottle of a transparent liquid, "It's my new favourite, I think."

Spencer hummed appreciatively as he took another sip. He was vaguely aware of the fact that he had had four shots of espresso in the last hour and that they would make it increasingly harder to sleep as he kept on drinking, but he was even more aware of your eyes watching him, pleased with his approval.

"I wonder whether it's actually from France, you know? What's so special about vanilla from France anyway?" you wondered, studying the labels on the side of the bottle.

"Oh," Spencer perked up, "the term "French Vanilla actually refers to a specific method of making vanilla ice cream, not a type of vanilla bean itself. The term 'French' in French vanilla signifies the use of egg yolks to create a custard base, resulting in a richer and creamier ice cream. This contrasts with the 'Philadelphia style' of vanilla ice cream, which uses a cream base without egg yolks."

"Aah," you replied easily, "makes sense, it does make the coffee taste extra creamy, in a way," you put the bottle down, "one second," you said as you went to help a customer.

As he watched your quick hands make a chamomile tea, Spencer dwelled on the French vanilla. Not on the flavour, that was fine, but on the monologue he just gave about it. He wondered whether you secretly thought the same about him, that he was also just some guy annoying you with fun facts and, and, well, flirting with you. Vaguely he knew that you wouldn't be so nice to him if you did, and that you only disliked the other guy for his attitude, but still.

When you came back, he couldn't help himself. "Hey," he immediately wished he had swallowed it, but it was too late now, "You, um, you don't think I'm like that guy, right? With all my, um, fun facts? I know I can rattle on sometimes and I didn't want you to-"

"Spence," he was cut off by your hand on his wrist, "of course not!" your face betrayed no signs of lying, only a bit of amusement in your eyes, "that's different."

"Is it?" he was painfully aware of the heat rushing to his cheeks upon the lingering contact of your soft hand.

"Duh, I like you, your fun facts are always welcome here," you smiled at him, warm like the cup in his hands and twice as sweet, before you left the phantom cold shadow of your fingers on his upper arm to ring up the last customers of the day.

Spencer would like to say the word 'like' did not ignite a fire in his chest like he was a ten year old school girl. He would also like to say he wasn't blushing, and that he wasn't mildly freaking out, but that would be lying.

Like. Like, like-like? Okay this was getting out of hand. But Spencer was just so lost. It had been months of this now: innocent touches that made his internal monologue short circuit, bringing him drinks you knew he liked, inventing nicknames, inside jokes, giving him free cookies, you name it. But what did it mean. Apparently three PhD's and a professional career as a goddamn profiler later, Spencer Reid was still as clueless as ever.

As he finished his coffee, he stood up to help you bring inside the terrace chairs for the day, as he did every time he visited.

"Thanks, Spence," you smiled at him from your spot at the register as you took the money from the very last customer, "it always takes me forever."

"No problem," he said, making quick work of all the chairs.

He always hung around while you were closing the shop down. It had become a kind of ritual between the two of you. Spencer would come in after work, he would hang around until close and then just sit around while you performed all the little tasks like cleaning the coffee machine and rearranging the pastries for the next day. Sometimes he helped, sometimes you didn't allow him to, sometimes he did it anyway. He was not too proud to admit it had quickly become his favourite part of the week.

"I swear," you said while you were sweeping loose coffee beans from the floor, "the next time that creep winks at me, I'm 'accidentally' spilling hot milk on him."

Spencer smiled to himself while he held the trash can open for you "I'd like to see that, though I doubt it would actually deter him. He'd probably just come up with another one liner."

You dramatically sighed in defeat, loading in the dishwasher for the last time that night, "I think you're right, though what is it that they say again? Violence is always the answer?"

"I don't think that's how the saying goes."

"Really? I thought it was. Gonna try it next time," you mused, your voice light as ever.

Spencer loved your nonsense conversations, your quick wit and eloquent way of speaking were music to his ears. You were different from all the other people in his life, sunnier, softer, but sharper too, in a way.

If he had been a braver man, he would ask you to dinner. He would have asked you months ago. If he were a braver man, he would go up to you right now and confess. Confess it all.

Instead, he produced a book from his shoulder bag.

"Got you something," he said, trying his hardest not to pour in all the affection in the world.

"Oh!" you abandoned the stack of menus on the counter and rushed over, "Spencer!" you scolded, "I told you you didn't need to get the fancy one!"

Spencer smiled back sheepishly. You had said that, multiple times, but when you had told him that you had never gotten around to reading Persuasion (a book Spencer thoroughly adored), he knew he had to get it for you, and when he saw the hardcover with the golden accents and pearly flowers engraved into the spine, he knew it had to be that one.

"I know, I know," he threw his hands up in surrender, "I just thought it suited you."

"This is like, the prettiest thing ever," you said, studying the patterns on the cover.

"Exactly," Spencer mumbled, "suits you."

He caught that glimmer in your eyes as you looked up, half smiling and half bashful. He thought maybe Jane Austen could convey all that he couldn't.

"Thank you, Spence," you put the book down carefully and wrapped your arms around him in an embrace. Spencer hesitated, out of sheer surprise, but quickly wrapped his arms around your frame, savouring the moment. You fit in his arms like he was made with you in mind, which wouldn't surprise him, at this point.

You didn't let go. Spencer, selfishly, also didn't let go.

He felt the shift, as if a scale was tipped, just slightly, just a single millimetre the world had spun on its axis, but it was there. Something had clicked.

You had felt it too, you must have, because as you finally pulled back from his arms, your eyes were different. You were different. And yet the same. You were just as warm as you always were when Spencer's hand came up to cup your cheek and you leaned into the touch, and you were just as sweet as he had imagined when he finally, finally closed the gap between the two of you and kissed you.

Your lips were soft, welcoming, and faintly tasting of vanilla. Spencer melted, like sugar stirred into coffee, like syrup dissolved into milk, he warmed at your careful hands in his neck and curls in his hair, and let himself fall headfirst into love with you, like he had ever had a choice.

When you pulled back, both out of breath and with matching burning cheeks, he held you in his arms as you both smiled at each other, sickeningly sweet and syrupy stickily love sick, both of you.

"Do you want to go out-"

The words that he had been carefully balancing on the edge of for months came easy to him now, easy like your smile was before you kissed them right off his lips.

⋆⭒˚.⋆🫖 ⋆⭒˚.⋆

I am but a humble fanfic writer and i beg for your feedback guys :))))))) xxxxxxxx

Also 'monologue' was based off of a real guy that keeps showing up at my work and I find it endlessly hilarious that I have now roasted him for a bunch of people online hihi

#spencer reid x reader #criminal minds #spencer reid fluff #dr spencer reid #spencer reid #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fanfiction #doctor spencer reid #dr reid #spencer reid criminal minds #Spencer Reid fluff #Spencer Reid x reader fluff

171 notes · View notes

luvchaew · 3 months ago

Text

behind the scenes 𝆕 caught in 4k

the not-so-average daily life of heeseung and 5th member of aespa if they dated publicly and were horrible at hiding the relationship act one ⨾ where you accidentally join heeseung's live and the camera catches you

“loving isn't a sin, is it?” idol!heeseung x 5thmemberofaespa!reader wc𓈒 690 — not proofread! ✴ fluff, established relationship, cursing, pet names (angel, babe)

𝑚. 𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗍

you had checked your phone twice, maybe three times, as you waited for your two ramyeons to be ready — an extra spicy with chicken and eggs and one not even a bit spicy with veggies — for your boyfriend for you: you had to make sure heeseung was not live, specially not showing his face.

you'd worked all day at hybe building, and even if it seemed a bit scary being alone at a company that you don't mainly work for, familiar smiles and your love for writing music got you through the day with ease. now, you only desired to eat (since you hadn't eaten the whole day) and to finally meet your boyfriend. you wouldn't admit, of course, but the tension of knowing he was there all day had you thanking, for the first time, that you didn't work together, because how could you focus when he was right there?

with two bowls, a purse and a hoodie at hand, you struggled to walk to the studio heeseung was, and despite nearly tripping sometimes, you found your way to the small room. by the door, you checked the number until your brain was convinced that was, in fact, room number #6, and that if you opened that door, nobody but the tall man you waited all day long to see would be found inside.

you opened the door widely without even knocking — because you wanted to make a surprise, and spoiler: wrong idea. — exposing yourself smiling happily, eager.

“babe! i brought ram-,” was all you enthusiasticly said before noticing the grand mistake you'd just done: heeseung, actually, was doing a livestream, and the camera could catch not only him, but the door and everything that came across it.

your eyes widened, and you felt your body stiff completely. you made eye contact with him for some seconds — enough to catch the surprise and the distant fear of his gaze — before you started to bow repeatedly, muttering “i'm so sorry!,” maybe millions of times, and closed the door shut with a loud thud, your heartbeat echoing at your right ear.

you just stayed there, your mind spinning too much for you to just run out of there, and the next thing you knew? heeseung was outside the room with you, his eyes penetrating yours with nothing but pity. he closed the door behind him, stepping closer to you as he picked up one of the bowls from your hand — the one that contained his favorite flavor, by the way.

“wait for me outside until i finish the live, okay? and don't worry too much, we'll handle this. thanks for the ramyeon, i was starving,“ despite the incident, he was calm, almost smiling, a silent reminder to why he was always the one to end your arguments and to perceive everything with a good mindset. both of you knew that would lead to an hour and a half of conversation and a lot of “you can't expose yourselves like that,” 's, but genuinely, it didn't seem as bad as they treated it like. you weren't commiting a sin, were you?

heeseung pressed a lingering kiss to the top of your head, reassuring, understanding, a soft hum escaping his lips while he nuzzled into your hair. he came back to the room chuckling, fucking chuckling, amused. the enthusiasm in which he said “i'm back and with food!,” to his fans made you brave enough to force your legs to walk, the walk towards the hallway now suddenly looking too long, too tiring.

while you patiently waited on a couch next to the studios, every little noise leading you to look at the door of room number #6, hoping it was heeseung, enhypen's manager found you, and the disapproving look he gave you when his eyes lingered on you were everything to prove that, in fact, you were cooked. when your boyfriend left the room, his headphones beautifully resting around his neck, the only thing he whispered to you before walking side by side, hands intertwined, towards the manager's office was: “people at the comments were going crazy. you're really brave, aren't you, angel?,”

first thing i ever posted here, hope it's not that bad >.<

#heeseung #enhypen #enhypen au #evan #i wanna kiss heeseung so bad #laura on tumblr

85 notes · View notes

retireddaddyric · 1 month ago

Text

“Is F1 even a sport?”

Synopsis: (half REQUESTED ah) Daniel and (y/n) become a training pair in the boxing gym.

Warnings: 18+, minors do not interact please. FemVsMale fight, unprotected sex, Sub/dom play, smut, oral sex, choking (?).

Note: this is all fiction. English is not my first language, so I apologize in advance if there are any errors. Thanks for the comments, keep them coming!

I come to the gym for what the men here call ‘a woman workout’ which consists in little weights, lots of cardio: but I am a sports photographer and I need to be healthy and in good form to face the upcoming sessions with the 2026 olympic winter games.

So anytime my personal trainer invites me to try a new thing I just say yes.

And this is why I am on the octagon tonight. He texted me earlier asking if I was interested in a one on one first try after the gym closure and I said yes.

The spotlight from the top illuminates only the ring, leaving the rest of the gym in the dark.

People have long left, it’s just me and him. I am hitting the pads he is wearing on his forearms with my ankles, just like he told me to do, my hair bun jumping at every movement.

My fists are tightening at every hit and I’m not sweating yet but I am close. My thighs are getting warmer under my yoga pants and my abs are on fire. My breaths come out a little faster and I use my arm to take out a fallen strand of hair from my eye.

I hear a noise from the door and I stop and turn. I can’t see anything because of the light from above us.

“A little late honey badger?” Mick shouts smiling at the dark figure approaching the benches at the sides.

“Got stuck in traffic man, LA is a nightmare after sunset.” The voice says and I recognize him: Daniel Ricciardo. I’ve been bumping into him at the gym for a couple of months now and I can’t decide if he’s shy or just sweet. From the clothes he wears to come to the gym and the way he throws his Gucci backpack to the ground I’d say he has money that will last forever and doesn’t give a shit about it. He’s always politely smiling and saying hello to everyone but he hardly starts a conversation himself. Although I’ve seen him yapping multiple times when people approach him.

Mick said he was always a customer of the gym he just didn’t show up during busy hours when he was still a formula one driver.

I see him smile up at me “So you’re the enemy?” He says while taking off his t shirt to put on a white one, discarding the green one on the bench.

“Am I?” I ask looking at Mick.

“Yes. You’re both beginners, we’ll be doing this three times a week every week.”

“I am the enemy then.” I laugh looking at Daniel as he climbs the ring, the shorts revealing his tattoos on his thigh. He stretches a hand towards me.

“Daniel.”

“(Y/n).” I say taking the boxing glove off and squeezing his firm but gentle hand.

He looks smaller than the average monsters who daily come to this place, I’d say this is why Mick asked a girl to match with him in this.

“Try be gentle.” He jokes, his smile contagious.

“I’ll try, no promises.”

So for the first lessons we basically just learn where to kick and how to avoid or stop a hit. We repeat the moves many times, we always meet late when the octagon is empty and the gym is closed. It’s always the three of us, me and Daniel on the ring and Mick over the chords giving us instructions.

After a couple of weeks we get used to each other’s body, we start hitting each other harder and faster, laughing awkwardly when we almost hurt each other and say sorry.

I’m not gonna lie, the following week I start liking him and the one after it I think all day about the moment we’ll be training on the ring at night. But the thing is the more I like him the more I wanna hit him harder because I know he’s not into me at all. I feel it. I even start thinking he might be gay because there’s not a chance you get this physical with a girl and never once you get a little hard. Like nothing visible through his shorts, not even when he’s behind me taking me down in a chokehold looking up at Mick while I try to fight back, nothing, I feel nothing.

We never really talk to each other apart from what we’re doing or what to do next.

Until one day everything changes. After I get rejected the pass to an important basketball game I walk into the gym very pissed off. And incredibly late: the session is 5 minutes from ending. And I see Daniel and Mick on the octagon throwing punches and kicks, both drenched in sweat.

“You’re late?” Daniel says turning towards me, he’s barefoot wearing his stupidly sexy space grey shorts and a Nike black t-shirt.

“And?” I say climbing up.

“You’re never late.”

“Whatever, it’s not like this session is like training for real.”

What do you mean?” Mick asks a bit offended but still laughing.

“Nothing against you Mick,” i say straddling the chord and jumping in “but you should have matched me with someone stronger.”

Daniel rises an eyebrow and suppresses a smirk while wiping his sweaty face. I’ve never seen him this wet but.. The fuck? I tell you you’re weaker than a girl and you smile?

“Ouch.” Mick laughs and looks at Daniel.

“Yeah, no offense Daniel but I feel like I could do with someone a little more keen to real sports.”

“Oh so you’re one of those who thinks F1 isn’t a sport..” he chuckles crossing his arms at his chest.

“You’re confirming it every night we come here to train.”

“Oh I confirm it..?” He says sarcastically.

“It’s what I said.” I say putting on my gloves.

He shakes his head smiling and takes his boxing gloves off. “(Y/n) I should’ve been the one complaining when I was paired with a pilates girl.”

“Why? Because you had to face who you really are?”

He just laughs.

“See you on friday.” He says before leaving.

Mick smirks and says “You will wish you never challenged him.”

“Why? Is he capable of doing better than what’s been doing?”

“(Y/n), he’s been holding back because you’re a girl.”

“Ah, we’ll see about that.” I say with confidence.

But my confidence only lasts a couple of days. On Friday as soon as I am on the ring Daniel throws a real kick and I step back flinching but immediately recovering.

Mick looks at me. “You can tell him to stop anytime okay?”

I look at Daniel in the eyes, he is smiling behind his fists.

“Was that all you have?” I tell him rising my fists and walking back closer.

He shakes his head “That was only the appetizer.”

The rest of the training session I am a mess. For the following two hours I only struggle to escape his holds and try to not cry at his fists and kicks. But never once I tell him to soften up. I take everything he throws at me and I think I can genuinely say he is even still holding back.

And then I get it: F1 must be REALLY tough. Not even once I manage to hit him, I’m only a punching bag by the end of the session.

“Enough for today.” Mick says in an amused tone and turns to leave.

Daniel is panting in my hair while he holds me down, my legs around his waist. I’m all red and sweaty when I push him and he lets me. So he sits on his calves between my legs. He smirks down at me, his face completely wet from sweat. I look at him, panting myself.

“You held back right?” I ask him.

He smiles and rises his shoulders “Saw you flinching in the beginning so I understood where to stop.”

I nod ashamed. “Last time I was a little pissed off by not coming to train in time..”

“Don’t sweat it, I’m used to people thinking f1 is just driving in circles.” He stands up and for the first time ever I see a fucking hell of a bulge. He notices and immediately tugs at his shorts embarrassed.

“Gotta go.” He says leaving fast.

The next week Daniel never goes back to being a softie. When from time to time he fights with Mick to show new moves I am shocked at how hardcore he can be.

He looks like a golden retriever but fights like a pitbull. So then I get the reason behind the ‘honeybadger’ nickname. We get very physical, I come back home every training night with new bruises and I mentally hit myself when I am turned on by thinking they’re all from his hands. Every time he’s on me I feel him retreating himself, pulling his core away from my thigh or back, in a gentlemanly gesture. Deep down I ask myself what he would be like in bed because the man has stamina. And the combo soft outside, hard inside has me in crumbles.

The day things escalate comes.

One Friday night we’re fighting bare hands, Mick is feeling sick so he leaves dropping the keys of the gym in Daniel’s bag.

As soon as the door closes and we’re alone Daniel goes back to throw punches that I avoid, since I’ve been learning how to do it from him.

After a couple of minutes he pulls me up and then we’re on the floor. He’s behind me keeping me still in a chokehold when I hit my hand on the ground three times. We’re all covered in sweat when he nods and lays on the floor next to me. I sit back on my heels panting. I close my eyes throwing my head back breathing fast.

I feel his eyes on me. And his hand on my thigh, squeezing it softly. “You okay?” He asks breathy.

“Yeah just.. fuck it’s so hot.”

“Yeah.”

I open my eyes and look at him. He smirks and laughing I kick my leg in his face direction but he’s fast and stops it by pulling it over his head. In a matter of seconds I’m straddling his face, my shorts too thin to not feel his mouth and jaw against my clothed core. I gasp and put my hands on his head to pull away but he turns us over so he’s on me and I squeeze my legs around his muscular neck to stop him. He struggles a bit, staring me with a deep glance while his hands reach up and try to grab my throat.

I squeeze my legs tighter and one of his hands grabs my sports bra in the front, between my tits, tugging it.

I laugh and grab his hand between mines to stop him from tugging it down further. But in that moment the way is nose and mouth are pressing against my core send sparks through it and I swallow, still panting. I keep breathing heavy but my legs loose their grip a bit while I look into his dark eyes. And in that moment we both stop smiling. His hands grab my thighs and he inhales deeply. I put my elbows on the ground and look at him rising my upper body.

I feel his finger run slowly inside my thigh until it reaches my shorts. He keeps watching me waiting for the moment I pull away. I don’t. So he hooks his finger in my yoga shorts and panties and pulls them to the side revealing my drenched pussy.

“I knew it.” He whispers husky before sinking his face in it.

My eyes roll back in my head and I suppress a moan putting both hands on my face. He tugs at my shorts so hard to the side that a little tearing sound vibrates in the empty dark gym.

He sucks at my clit so hard, his other hand getting inside my wet heat in two fingers, stretching it, hitting the sweet spot.

“Fuck!” I whisper shaky bending my legs up his shoulders.

He sits up on his heels and grabs my shorts taking them off fast with my panties. I lift my hips to help him. He throws them behind him and comes on me, kissing me hard while his hips grind between my legs. I taste my wetness on his lips, I feel his hard cock and arch my back.

“Desperate much?” He smirks.

“Not as much as you.”

“We’ll see.”

He sits up and tears my bra with a hand, my boobs jumping free.

He looks at them and licks his lips bending again to suck first one and then the other. I moan and use my hands to take his shirt off. He smiles and stops my hand shaking his head. Like really stops them as if we’re fighting. And that really arouses me.

I try to fight back smiling but he just pins them above my head. His other hand reaches my pussy and after touching me in round movements he uses his leg to spread my thigh and pin it to the ground. I moan looking at him while he just smirks down. From time to time his fingers get inside just to curl a couple of times and then get out when I am close to lose it.

After the third time I am a mess of nerves.

He smacks my pussy and I whine in pleasure and pain.

“Please!”

“Please what baby?”

“Daniel oh my god.”

Another smack followed by a massage, another moan from me.

My legs shake I am so close. He withdraws his hand. I throw my head back breathing heavily.

“Please fuck me Daniel, please.” I beg, my moaning voice rumbling in the large empty space.

“More.” He whispers keeping me in place.

“Fuck me raw with all you have, make me see stars like you do when we fight!”

He flips me on my belly and he’s behind me.

His arm is around my throat like he does when he chokeholds me. I feel his free hand fidget with his shorts and then he pushes his dick inside me with a groan in my ear. I let out a moan of satisfaction and pain. I’m so wet it goes all the way in to the hilt. And then he starts to move so hard my back arches and I’m completely at his mercy.

“Try saying again I’m not a real athlete.” He breathes in my ear.

I moan and he puts his hand on my mouth. “Shhh, aren’t you the strongest in the pair?”

I roll my eyes back as I feel him stretching me so good.

“Now take my cock like you take me when we fight.” He says all breathy.

My body shakes and he sits up on his knees and holds my hips pushing them backwards towards him. I’m on four when he pounds into me so hard and fast I cry out his name.

“This is what you really are, a whining little slut who gets turned on by a man stronger than her.”

My legs shake and he’s behind pulls at my bun talking into my ear “If you wanna come you better ask.”

“I don’t ask.”

He tugs harder “Oh you do.” He says stopping his dick outside my pussy. I move my hips whining.

“Ask kindly.” He says into my cheek.

“Can I come?” I mutter breathy.

“On my cock?”

“..On your cock.”

“Say you’re sorry and then you can.”

I don’t. And the thrusts in hard. I shout rolling my eyes back. “I’m sorry!”

He laughs and pushes my head so that my cheek is on the ground. He fucks me so hard I see stars not just once but twice.

And the second time I come I feel him thrusting erratically inside me until he stills and roars in pleasure, filling me up.

He licks the sweat at my nape and smiling he whispers softly into his ear “I think I ran out of the muscles to make sore in your body. Wanna go out on a date sometime so I can punch your brain too with my racing stories?”

I laugh with my eyes closed and he kisses my hair.

“I don’t like F1 drivers.” I tease him smiling lazily.

He smiles devilishly. “Good, because apparently I don’t like girls. Isn’t that what you told Mick?”

#daniel ricciardo #smut #f1 imagine #oneshot #f1 fanfic #f1 x reader #Spotify #lando norris #oscar piastri #charles leclerc #max verstappen #carlos sainz #george russell

61 notes · View notes

muffinlance · 1 year ago

Text

State of the Muffin Report 2023-24

Happy belated birthday to my fanfics! Little Zuko turned six back in March. <3

Behold, my annual roundup stats, because you can get fanfic from the math teacher but you can’t get the math out of the fanfic:

[id: Screenshot of an excel spreadsheet showing my 2023-24 word counts. Important info is that over six stories, I wrote 104k words, for a monthly average of 8.6k and a daily of 284 words. End id.]

Fanfic:

After not touching the birthday fic itself since 2019, Little Zuko v the World is finally finished! Woooo.

Otherwise, a slow-but-steady sort of year on the fanfic front.

Serious Face Writing & RL:

Li’s Friends has now raised $4,206.21 USD for wildlife charity, not counting gift matches. <3

Finished the second book in my original fic series, Fox’s Tongue; The Skin Stealer’s Son officially launched yesterday! (Affiliate link, so that if you happen to buy it, Amazon pays me extra money for the privilege.)

I also created a secondary tiny human, and she is a DELIGHT. She was last seen a half hour ago crawling after her brother like a particularly aggressive tripod, Hop on Pop in one hand, and slap-screaming at it until he read it to her. My children. <3

Year Six (2024-25) Goals

Fanfic:

Gonna finish the new case of Dark Night in Ba Sing Se. Gonna finish it so good. (This is a donation fic for the winner of my Fandom Trumps Hate charity auction and is therefore due by the end of the year, so woo artificial timelines! Ah external motivations, how I missed you from my school days.)

I’m incredibly excited for Blindsiding Badgermoles, and have that same lovely external motivation in the form of my sensitivity reader, so planning to focus on that this year.

Finish the current book of Towards the Sun. We’re currently on the final field trip, so that should be very doable. —I say, using the exact same wording for the third year in a row. Honestly this one’s less a goal than a joke to see how many years it’s actually going to take me. And hey, I’ve been making progress! We now have the delight that is Lady Jun! Third year’s the charm?

Serious Face Writing & RL:

Get a solid start on Fox’s Tongue Book Three, Face of the Wolf King.

Get out large print editions of the first two books.

Continue raising children.

Special thanks this year goes to First and Secondborn, who blessed me with the ability to still manage over 100k in a year, which is way more than I anticipated at this time last year.

Cheers,

MuffinLance

#state of the muffin report #avatar the last airbender #atla #fox's tongue and kirin's bone #writing stuff

172 notes · View notes

coochiequeens · 2 months ago

Text

Women are incredibly dedicated listeners,” Megan Lazovick, VP at Edison Research, said, noting that the average woman spends nearly three hours daily listening to music. Hispanic women listen even more—over four hours per day."

For American women, music is more than a backdrop—it's a daily companion, a form of emotional support, and a shared experience that connects families and spans generations. And radio continues to be a vital part of that soundtrack.

That’s the picture painted by new findings from Edison Research and SiriusXM Media, presented during a webinar Tuesday exploring how women engage with music and what it means for advertisers.

“Music is omnipresent,” said Megan Lazovick, VP at Edison Research. “Women across all demographics deeply integrate music into their daily routines.”

The study, based on a national sample of 2,500 women age 18 and older who have listened to audio in the past month, found that 84% had consumed music during that time. Among all audio content types, music dominates women’s listening—accounting for 77% of their daily audio time.

While streaming platforms now lead in music discovery, traditional AM/FM radio continues to play a significant role. Nearly half (49%) of women surveyed said they still turn to radio to discover new music—just behind YouTube and social sharing from friends and family. SiriusXM indexed even higher among women aged 55+, reinforcing radio's continued relevance among older audiences.

“Women are incredibly dedicated listeners,” Lazovick said, noting that the average woman spends nearly three hours daily listening to music. Hispanic women listen even more—over four hours per day.

Music’s Dual Roles In Women’s Lives

The study finds music plays both emotional and practical roles. Among respondents, 85% said music is a powerful stress reliever, 81% use it to escape, and 77% say it brings back memories of better times. For many, it's an antidote to daily pressures and an emotional anchor during tough moments. Music also offers a sense of reliability and companionship according to the research.

“Music serves as a form of medicine,” said Melissa Paris, VP of Sales Research at SiriusXM Media. She noted the emotional weight music carries, helping women navigate stress, grief, family challenges, and mental health struggles.

In fact, 87% of women surveyed say they turn to music to cope with life’s difficulties. The top emotional benefits include stress relief (85%), escape (81%), and feelings of nostalgia or connection to better times (77%).

But the relationship isn’t purely emotional—music plays a practical role too. Over half of women say it helps pass time or makes mundane tasks more enjoyable. Nearly a quarter use it to help concentrate on challenging tasks. Music also helps structure family life, with many using it to entertain children, calm them, or establish daily routines.

The study revealed that music is often a shared experience within households. Among women with children under 18, 92% say their kids listen to music, and 89% listen alongside them. “Music bridges generations,” Paris said, recalling dancing with her daughter to Taylor Swift’s “22” at a concert as one of her most cherished memories.

The data showed this bond is especially strong among multicultural mothers. Additionally, 78% of women agree that music improves their child’s mood, and 72% say it helps spark imagination—making music a screen-free way to both entertain and educate.

Women also turn to music to help with daily tasks—whether it’s staying entertained while doing chores or establishing routines for their children. Nearly half of moms surveyed use music to calm or entertain their kids, and 78% agree music is a great screen-free tool.

The study found that music listening is often shared. Among women with children under 18, 89% say they listen to music with their kids. That figure rises among multicultural mothers, who report even higher rates of shared listening. Many say they use music to expose their children to various genres or their cultural heritage.

What Women Listen To

Genre preferences vary across demographics. Women 18-34 gravitate toward hip-hop, indie rock, and Spanish-language music. Women 55 and older prefer classic rock, classical, and oldies—formats often associated with radio. In fact, genre variety and curated playlists are among the reasons many women continue to turn to broadcast and satellite radio despite the rise of streaming.

The study also highlights the growing desire for female representation in music. Among women aged 18-34, 37% say most of the artists they listen to are female—compared to just 8% among women 55 and older. Younger listeners also feel deeper personal connections to artists, particularly when they’re visible in media, collaborate with other women, or support relatable causes.

That emotional connection extends to brands. Women are primary decision-makers in areas such as grocery shopping, health and wellness, and family finance—and 85% recall hearing ads in these categories while listening to music.

“Music offers a uniquely powerful platform for authentic brand connections,” Lazovick said. “The smart brands are paying attention and supporting these young voices.”

Top recalled ad categories included movies and TV, restaurants, and streaming video. Adding audio ads can now be dynamically personalized by genre, time of day, and even weather—giving brands real-time opportunities to be present in meaningful moments.

“Music is not just background noise,” Paris said. “It’s an integral part of women’s identities, relationships, and daily experiences. It's a powerful medium for authentic brand connections.

Ladies, who are you listening to? Please share your recommendations. Especially for women artists

#Women and music

48 notes · View notes

moregraceful · 13 days ago

Text

rambling

high key the cricut purchase was such a hypomania purchase lol but i woke up this morning going man i want to make a journal but the covers are such a pain in the ass, then realized that is probably something very easily done by a cricut. all i do is win etc

been making some small changes to my living space - hanging up some stuff, moving the dining room table a foot and a half, moving the rocking chair to another corner. it's been nice to make some changes that are small but super visible just to make things feel less stale after several months of being depressed? so that's been nice. i've been working on organizing closets - those aren't as visible but it makes a huge difference in my sanity when looking for cleaning supplies lol.

graduating from the iop next week and i am so excited. it's been a rough but necessary two months but i am ready to move on. i have stuff to do! i have things to make! i have a life to rebuild! it's been good and awful in so many beautiful ways but man i am ready to be out of daily therapy. i think one of sierra's most common phrases to me rn is, you are overthinking this. like there is such a thing as too much therapy i think lmao. but i did need that push to yk, start eating and sleeping and showering again.

i need to work on a daily schedule for myself so i don't completely backslide to a 4am bedtime -> 10am morning. i've been enjoying getting up at 6-6:30am, it makes me feel like i have so much day left after i eat breakfast as opposed to when i was waking up at 10am or later. i'm thinking of treating the hours i was in php as at-home Work hours, for all the shit i said i'd do for church/community/myself and didn't because i was so catastrophically depressed. there's stuff i want to do and stuff i need to do and stuff i'd like to think about doing in the future. now that i don't have this like ever-present cloud of anxiety and heartbreak, it's like ok, let's do the things we said/wanted/needed to do but couldn't.

i did ask for social worker recs from the iop though bc i was like. idk how to manage my life sustainably or plan for the future sustainably. idk how to untangle some parts of my life that need untangling that have nothing to do with therapeutic intervention. i have been treading water for so long that there's life maintenance stuff that needs to be dealt with meaningfully (and some of it quickly lmao. i sure was making some interesting financial decisions in the past three months.)

i have a sustainable work schedule right now, three days a week at night. i'd ask for more but there's not actually that much to do at work during the summer lmao. i'm having some complicated feelings about work rn that kind of boil down to, i am having so much fun doing something so low stakes, but on god you guys need a supervisor (who should be me) who can attend to the emotional needs of your (college student) employees. not to be like the workplace needs a feelings supervisor and ik this sounds sexist but i do think if a third of your employees are 19yo female college students, you need to treat them a little different than your average 25yo cis male wharton jackass. in my humble opinion lmfao

idk overall things i think are going well. not even in a hopeful way but in a concrete way, like i can measure the things that are good now and not might be in the future. which is a nice feeling. not treading water, not looking forward, but settling here and now.

#fresno oilers.txt

22 notes · View notes

spacetimewithstuartgary · 2 months ago

Text

New SpaceTime out Friday

SpaceTime 20250502 Series 28 Episode 53

Large carbon deposits discovered on Mars

NASA’s Mars Curiosity rover has discovered evidence of a carbon cycle on ancient Mars.

The billion-dollar Square Kilometre Array project

Construction work is now well underway on what will be the world’s largest radio telescope the Square Kilometre Array in outback Western Australia.

A busy time aboard the International Space Station

Three crew members from the International Space Station have successfully returned to Earth landing on the Kazakhstan Steppe 27 and a half hours after undocking from the orbiting outpost.

The Science Report

New study casts doubt on the dangers of the deadly H5N1 bird flu’s spread to humans.

Claims social skills may not be the most useful indicator of autism.

A major threat to the Australian regent honeyeater.

Skeptics guide to 15 paranormal myths that just won’t die.

SpaceTime covers the latest news in astronomy & space sciences.

The show is available every Monday, Wednesday and Friday through your favourite podcast download provider or from www.spacetimewithstuartgary.com

SpaceTime is also broadcast through the National Science Foundation on Science Zone Radio and on both i-heart Radio and Tune-In Radio.

SpaceTime daily news blog: http://spacetimewithstuartgary.tumblr.com/

SpaceTime facebook: www.facebook.com/spacetimewithstuartgary

SpaceTime Instagram @spacetimewithstuartgary

SpaceTime twitter feed @stuartgary

SpaceTime YouTube: @SpaceTimewithStuartGary

SpaceTime -- A brief history

SpaceTime is Australia’s most popular and respected astronomy and space science news program – averaging over two million downloads every year. We’re also number five in the United States. The show reports on the latest stories and discoveries making news in astronomy, space flight, and science. SpaceTime features weekly interviews with leading Australian scientists about their research. The show began life in 1995 as ‘StarStuff’ on the Australian Broadcasting Corporation’s (ABC) NewsRadio network. Award winning investigative reporter Stuart Gary created the program during more than fifteen years as NewsRadio’s evening anchor and Science Editor. Gary’s always loved science. He was the dorky school kid who spent his weekends at the Australian Museum. He studied astronomy at university and was invited to undertake a PHD in astrophysics, but instead focused on a career in journalism and radio broadcasting. Gary’s radio career stretches back some 34 years including 26 at the ABC. His first gigs were spent as an announcer and music DJ in commercial radio, before becoming a journalist, and eventually joining ABC News and Current Affairs. He was part of the team that set up ABC NewsRadio and became one of its first on air presenters. When asked to put his science background to use, Gary developed StarStuff which he wrote, produced and hosted, consistently achieving 9 per cent of the national Australian radio audience based on the ABC’s Nielsen ratings survey figures for the five major Australian metro markets: Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide, and Perth. That compares to the ABC’s overall radio listenership of just 5.6 per cent. The StarStuff podcast was published on line by ABC Science -- achieving over 1.3 million downloads annually. However, after some 20 years, the show finally wrapped up in December 2015 following ABC funding cuts, and a redirection of available finances to increase sports and horse racing coverage. Rather than continue with the ABC, Gary resigned so that he could keep the show going independently. StarStuff was rebranded as “SpaceTime”, with the first episode being broadcast in February 2016. Over the years, SpaceTime has grown, more than doubling its former ABC audience numbers and expanding to include new segments such as the Science Report -- which provides a wrap of general science news, weekly skeptical science features, special reports looking at the latest computer and technology news, and Skywatch – which provides a monthly guide to the night skies. The show is published three times weekly (every Monday, Wednesday and Friday) and available from the United States National Science Foundation on Science Zone Radio, and through both i-heart Radio and Tune-In Radio.

#science #space #astronomy #physics #news #nasa #astrophysics #esa #spacetimewithstuartgary #starstuff #spacetime #hubble #hubble telescope #hubble space telescope

19 notes · View notes

the-most-humble-blog · 6 months ago

Text

Cooking at Home: The Expensive Way to Pretend You’re Saving Money

The Great Cooking Lie

Remember when everyone told us that cooking at home was the ultimate money-saving hack? A way to avoid takeout guilt, eat healthier, and keep your wallet happy? Turns out, that was a scam. By the time you’ve factored in inflated grocery prices, specialty ingredients, and the emotional toll of doing your own dishes, cooking at home often feels like the expensive way to fool yourself into thinking you’re responsible.

1. Grocery Shopping: The Silent Robbery

The grocery store is where dreams of frugality go to die.

Eggflation: Eggs used to be the poor person’s protein. Now? They cost as much as a latte at Starbucks.

Shrinkflation: Food companies are sneaky. That $5 bag of chips? Mostly air. That $3 orange juice? It’s now 75% pulp water.

Impulse Buys: Let’s not lie. You didn’t just buy what was on your list. Somewhere along the way, a bag of gourmet popcorn, a bottle of wine, and three different cheeses mysteriously ended up in your cart.

The Math That Hurts: According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, grocery prices increased by 13% in 2022 alone—the biggest jump in decades. Your “cheap home-cooked meal” isn’t looking so cheap anymore.

2. Time Is Money—And You’re Losing Both

Cooking at home isn’t just about food costs; it’s also a massive time suck.

Meal Prep Hell: Chopping, slicing, marinating—it’s basically an unpaid part-time job.

Recipe Rabbit Holes: “How do I zest a lemon?” quickly turns into a YouTube deep dive that eats your entire afternoon.

The Cleanup Toll: No one talks about how cooking makes you a hostage to your own sink.

You're Your Own Server, So Get to Work: The average person spends 37 minutes per day preparing food and 13 minutes cleaning up. That’s almost an hour daily you’ll never get back.

3. The False Economy of Food Waste

Here’s the ugly truth: cooking at home often means buying ingredients you’ll never finish.

The Herb Cemetery: How many half-used bunches of cilantro have you thrown out this year? Be honest.

Overzealous Bulk Buys: Sure, the family-size bag of spinach was a “deal”—until it became a science experiment in your fridge.

Shocking Reality: The average American household wastes about $1,500 worth of food per year. That’s a lot of takeout you could’ve guiltlessly enjoyed instead.

4. Cooking vs. Takeout: The Brutal Comparison

Let’s crunch some numbers.

Homemade Pad Thai: $25 for specialty ingredients, 2 hours of your time, and a kitchen disaster.

Takeout Pad Thai: $15, zero effort, and no dishes. You don’t need a degree in economics to see which option is the real winner.

5. The Instagram Myth of Home Cooking

Social media is partly to blame for this mess. Those influencer chefs with their immaculate kitchens and perfectly plated meals? Lies.

They’re not showing you the pile of dirty dishes off-camera.

They’re not factoring in the cost of their professional kitchen setups or $200 cutting boards.

Oh, The Humanity: You’re out here crying over a burnt casserole while @FoodieGuru56 is making soufflés look easy. The system is rigged.

6. The Emotional Toll of Home Cooking

Let’s talk about the mental exhaustion of planning, prepping, and executing meals.

The Pressure: “If I don’t cook, am I failing at adulthood?”

The Guilt: That sad, uneaten bag of kale in the fridge stares at you every time you grab a soda.

The Stress: Cooking is supposed to be relaxing, but when your smoke alarm goes off, it feels more like a horror movie.

7. When Cooking at Home Actually Works

To be fair, cooking at home can save money if you do it right:

Stick to simple recipes with ingredients you already have.

Avoid specialty items you’ll never use again (looking at you, saffron).

Embrace leftovers like they’re a gift, not a punishment.

Pro Tip: One-pot meals are your savior. Fewer ingredients, less cleanup, and more time for Netflix.

Just Order the Damn Takeout For Pete's Sake

Cooking at home was supposed to be a solution, but for many of us, it’s become a self-inflicted punishment disguised as responsibility. By the time you’ve navigated the overpriced grocery store, wasted hours prepping, and battled with your oven, you could’ve enjoyed a hot meal delivered straight to your door.

So, do yourself a favor. Order the takeout. Save your sanity. And while you’re at it, follow The Most Humble Blog for more brutally honest takes and unapologetic truths about the madness of modern life. You deserve it.

28 notes · View notes

would-this-pokemon-be-a-friend · 7 months ago

Note

Dratini, perhaps? I love that blue noodle...!

Unlike many dragon-type pokémon, keeping a dratini as a pet is feasible. Maybe not recommended for beginners, and most certainly far from convenient, but possible. That is, if you possibly have the space!

While they are pretty thin with their worm-like physique, dratini can get pretty dang long. On average, fully-grown dratini average at nearly six feet, but some have been said to surpass that by another half foot if properly cared for (FireRed). This would certainly be something that many pet owners would have to adapt to, but many people care for large snakes with little problem, and dratini could most likely make themselves comfortable coiled up in whatever space is available to them. Thankfully, these pokémon are quite light and not very strong (Ultra Sun), so handling them isn’t too much of a challenge outside of volume.

Here’s the thing though: the habitats that wild dratini make their homes in aren’t very easy to replicate in the home, which makes this a pokémon with some pretty rough ease-of-care. Wild dratini make their home beneath rapidly-flowing waterfalls in order to protect them from predators while they grow (Crystal). I will point out, however, that a normal pool of water might suffice if the dratini feels safe and secure. Regardless, you will need to invest in a watery habitat for your dratini to spend at least some of their time in, which could be cost-prohibitive for owners who don’t already have such a resource on-hand. As a note: handling a dratini in the water is much more difficult then on land due to their impressive swimming strength, besting fishermen for hours in the wild (Moon), so you will definitely want to invest in training for if you need to move your dratini out of this area for whatever reason.

If you are one who is grossed out by animals that shed their skin, you’ll definitely want to look elsewhere. As the first stage of a three-part evolution line, dratini lifestyle is all based around growth: a healthy, growing dratini will be filled with energy and will shed their skin entirely numerous times in their life, or even nearly on a daily basis (Silver, Gold, Ultra Moon). Despite the energy building up within them, driving their growth, dratini live a very low-key lifestyle. They aren’t picky about their food, and spend most of their time quietly going about their day (Ultra Sun). If you’re looking for a playful, personable pokémon, a dratini might not be for you, but those who enjoy the presence of their pet with no action-oriented strings attached may find them a lovely companion.

Thankfully, living such a low-key lifestyle, dratini aren’t very aggressive. This is critical considering some of the concerning moves that they can use. From paralyzing rays like Thunder Wave to draconic maneuvers like Dragon Rush and Outrage, dratini can really pack a punch. Safely keeping a dratini would require a keen awareness of their mood and body language, especially when in the water with them.

Overall, keeping a dratini could be entirely feasible for someone experienced with high-maintenance, high cost pets. Experts in handling dragon-types would find dratini a breeze, while newbie owners may struggle to meet their needs and may find themselves in danger if their pet ever lashes out. I will leave the pet-worthiness of this species to the potential owner’s discretion.

As a bit of a post-ranking note, though: adopting a dratini is notoriously difficult and expensive, which may also be a good reason to look at other species first. Dratini are so exceptionally rare, earning them the nickname of “Mirage Pokémon” due to their low numbers (Diamond/Pearl/Platinum) cause by both their limited habitats and the financial value of their shed skins (Sun).

#pokémon #pokemon #dratini #pkmn irl #pr-b

53 notes · View notes

alarrytale · 1 month ago

Note

https://www.tumblr.com/alarrytale/785450062655488000

What do you mean? He’s losing followers these days and if you check his last followers they actually look legitimate enough most of them.

Hi, anon!

It started at six, so three hours ago. From consistently losing to then suddenly gaining 700+ in an hour. Then 200 every half hour. Now 50 a minute. And no, none of these accounts look legit. They all say new profile (according to Caroline who is doing this tracking).

He's done this before. I suspect they're doing it on Spotify as well because after consistenly losing in the last half of May, it was up 20k streams on the daily average yesterday. Coinciding with this obvious bot account buying, let's just say it's a red flag.

There have been a lot of focus on follower numbers and streaming numbers plummeting, and it being tied to his stunts. So maybe they want to do some damage control.

#solo louis #spotify #instagram #louis image #lthq #stunting

10 notes · View notes

thechillsquid · 10 months ago

Text

Weird Grunkles- Blind Eyes Au

Little Drabble writing for the au cause I can

—

Dipper stared long and hard at one of their puesdo-grunkles, Bill, for what felt like an hour before he finally couldn’t stop himself from speaking, “How in the world did you get up there? More importantly, why?”

Bill was by far one of the weirdest people Dipper had come to know since coming to Gravity Falls, only really being beaten by Toby Determined by just barely. The guy was of an average build, about a head shorter than Stan (and just as wrinkly), with strange tattoos along his arms and legs that the boy was about 90% changed daily.

It took a moment to actually get a response, Bill staring back through his curtain of white-streaked curls before shrugging, “Squirrels were looking at me funny, kid, someone’s gotta chase em off.”

The preteen quietly repeated that to himself before asking slowly, “Are you… like stuck up there?”

He got a beaming, almost painfully wide, grin, showing off one golden canine and the gap between the older man’s front teeth. “Perhaps!”

Really Dipper couldn’t fathom half the shit he saw Bill do, espically when he was apparently older than Stan and Fiddleford (and trying to get any answers about any of the three’s ages was a nightmare he’d long given up on trying to figure out). The guy wasn’t exactly strong like Stan or much of an academic like Fidds, but he was sly and scarily insightful. As well as probably insane, seeing as he was most definitely pushing 50 years of age at the least and still got into situations like this.

This wasn’t even the first time this week that Dipper had spotted the guy in a spot where no one should be, like on top of the totem pole or balanced in tree branches. It was weird and unnerving and Dipper was fairly certain the guy wasn’t actually human.

“I’ll get a ladder…”

“Ask Specs, good ole Fez’s got a fear of heights,” Bill practically spoke in a sing-song, settling down so his back was against the tree’s trunk now. “Thanks, kid!”

Dipper just nodded slowly and went to find grunkle Fidds.

This town was so weird…

#gravity falls au #gravity falls #writing #my writing #dipper pines #bill cipher #blind eyes au

29 notes · View notes

fallen-gravity · 4 months ago

Text

Playing Favorites

“I don’t like you.”

Now that’s something Maui’s used to hearing. He gets it so often that he honestly forgets it’s supposed to be an insult. It stopped hurting his feelings about five hundred or so years ago.

…But he usually gets that from people he’s actively gone out of his way to bother, or from gods he’s stolen from for the good of humanity, or other demigods who are clearly just jealous of all of his accomplishments in comparison to their own. And sure, okay, he’s heard it from his fair share of humans after he stole Te Fiti’s heart, but they usually use much…stronger language, and the people saying it to him are usually adults.

Simea’s only…what? Two, three years old? What could he have possibly done to her?

AKA: Simea suffers from jealousy because Moana has more than one favorite person

Notes:

Hi, I'm Cindy, and I like writing interactions that canon will never have the bravery to address 💔

Maui and Simea have so much potential for having a silly little rivalry for No Reason, it's so cute. Maui calls her "Mini Moana" in the junior novelization when he's looking for her to give her Moana's gift and that just solidified my need to write them interacting more. I love them dearly, I am the only one who understands them.

[Moana doesn't actually make a physical appearence in this fic, please be very careful about how you tag this should you reblog]

AO3

Y’know, this isn’t exactly what Maui had in mind when Moana had asked him to do her a “huge favor”.

Okay, well, in her words it was less that she asked him for help and more that she needed to “get rid of him for a few hours”. She wanted to make trade negotiations with some of the other chiefs from visiting islands, and told him she didn’t want him there because she was afraid he was going to “skewer things” and “intimidate everyone else into giving everything to Motunui” instead of the actual conversing she wants to do with them.

Which…yeah, okay, Maui doesn’t really have an argument for that. He’s definitely a punch first, ask questions later kind of guy. If he were there and he saw some wise guy trying to skimp out on his side of the bargain, peaceful definitely wouldn’t be the kind of word Maui would use to describe that conversation.

Even so, Maui would’ve expected Moana to send him somewhere a little more…dignified.

Though, knowing Moana, who is he kidding? She’s too full of pride to ask him for help with anything that involves any physical strength, and he hasn’t been around the island enough times to really help out with any of the average daily chores (since, you know, he doesn’t even know what they are), so this is probably exactly what he should’ve expected.

Truth be told, he doesn’t even mind telling stories to kids. He’s done it on hundreds of other islands before and he’ll do it on a hundred more islands before the century is even up.

But it doesn’t bode very well on his whole all-powerful demigod image.

Which is probably exactly why Moana asked him to do it in the first place. Sure, she claimed that it was because he’s the best storyteller around, and where better to hear the tales than directly from the source, but there was a mischievous sort of glint in her eyes when she said it, and Maui didn’t trust it one bit.

Whatever. He’ll show her. He can be the all-knowing, all-powerful, can-rip-a-coconut-tree-in-half-with-one-well-timed-punch demigod while telling stories to small children, thank you very much.

It does certainly help wonders that kids have always been his most captive audience, and that the children of Motunui are no different. They’re starstruck by his embellishments, enraptured by his overly dramatic gestures, and they erupt into fits of giggles and cheers every time Mini Maui starts dancing around on his chest. It’s times like these where he feels the most like himself, where he can be as loud and exuberant as he pleases without a care in the world about who sees.

Or, well, it would be, if not for the familiar, nagging feeling that someone is glaring at him.

He looks around the crowd of children huddled together to try and figure out if any of them look like they’re having a bad day, or if any of them are afraid of the story he’s telling, and…

Locks eyes with Simea, just by chance.

It’s unmistakable.

Honestly, even if Moana had never mentioned having a little sister, Maui’s sure that he would’ve placed the pieces together himself just by the way Simea’s looking at him. She and Moana have the same exact glare, right down to the way their eyebrows furrow together. He has to fight back a laugh, really, the way it feels like he’s gone back in time and this really is Moana as a toddler.

As for why she’s so upset…he’s stumped. Maui’s sure that Moana told him that her sister loved listening to stories about his legacy, and he knows she’s not bothered by how he’s telling the story, because he’s seen the way that Moana embellishes the stories she tells, too. He can’t imagine that it’s because Moana isn’t the onetelling the story, because Maui’s also bared witness to Moni telling stories and Simea seems to eat that up.

Is it personal?

Maui can’t think of anything he’s done to hurt her feelings. He hasn’t stolen anything from her, which is usually the reason people are mad at him, and he can’t imagine that he’s exactly said anything to her that could be considered that offensive. They’ve only spoken a handful of times, and Moana was there for all but one of those times, so even if he had said something wrong he definitely would’ve gotten an earful from her about it.

Weird.

Maui makes a mental note to ask Moana about it when she’s finished with negotiations. Maybe she’ll know why her little sister’s so upset. He benches that thought for the time being, and continues on with his stories for the rest of his captive audience.

~~~~

He lucks out, because just when he starts to run low on stories to tell, he notices a small crowd of adults starting to form around the outer edge of the fale tele. If his experience with other islands are anything to go by, that usually means that they’re finished with trade negotiations and that they’re here to pick up their kids.

Maui waves silently in acknowledgement to the crowd of adults behind him, and does his best to quiet the whines of the kids in his audience and assure them that he’ll be back to tell them more stories soon, he promises, before he stands to his feet to start to head off towards the direction of where he last saw Moana.

He takes about ten steps before he gets the feeling he’s being followed.

He turns around, and there’s Simea, right on his trail with her arms crossed over her puffed-out chest.

“Uh…” he tries, but she pouts angrily at him before he can get a single word out.

“I don’t like you.”

Now that’s something Maui’s used to hearing. He gets it so often that he honestly forgets it’s supposed to be an insult. It stopped hurting his feelings about five hundred or so years ago.

Simea’s only…what? Two, three years old? What could he have possibly done to her?

(Then again, he thinks, at the back of his mind, he thought the same thing about Moana when he first met her; “She’s what, twelve? What could he have possibly done to her?”)

“I’m…sorry?” Maui genuinely tries to apologize, his utter confusion turning it into more of a question. He kneels to meet her eyes better, hoping it’ll help fix whatever her problem is with him.

“I don’t like you!” she repeats, like she thought he didn’t hear it the first time, and she sticks her tongue out at him.

Spitting image of her sister. He’d laugh if he weren’t afraid she was about to start yanking him around by his ear.

He settles for raising his hands in a defeated gesture. “Heard you the first time, kiddo” he replies gently, but he can’t help the tinge of amusement in his voice. “Do you want to tell me why you don’t like me?”

She firmly shakes her head no, but she looks at him with this baffled, incredulous look, like the reason’s supposed to be so obvious.

“C’mon, kid, you gotta give me something,” he tries. “You keep staring at me like I stole something from you.”

“You did,” she replies instantaneously.

He blinks. “I did?”

For the briefest of moments, the anger in her expression falters, and she looks like she’s about to burst into tears. “You’re always taking my sister away from me.”

…Oh.

Okay, actually, Maui doesn’t have a good response to that; he’s never been great with the whole jealousy thing and it’s not like he’s exactly had that much family to base his experiences on. As far as comfort goes, he’s stumped.

But he does know Moana.

“Kid, you’ve gotta know that it’s not one person that keeps drawing your sister to the water, right? Curly’s practically got the ocean in her bloodstream. She’d probably live in the ocean if she could.”

Simea sighs. “I know. She introduced me before she left on her big journey.” She shakes her head, and returns to crossing her arms over her chest. “But it’s different when it’s you!”

That gives him genuine pause. “When it’s…me?”

“Yeah!” She throws her arms in the air, exasperated. “It’s like, she’s always talking about you! She always tells me that I’m her favorite person in the world, but when you’re gone she’s always looking around for you, or she’s talking about you, or she’s talking to that one drawing of you, or-”

“Wait…she talks to what?”

She freezes. “Oh, oops, I don’t think I was supposed to tell you that,” she twiddles her thumbs, looking genuinely embarrassed. “But, um, sometimes she talks to the siapo of you like it’s really you. Mostly when you’re not here. I never really hear what she says, but I think she talks to it when she misses you” she nods sagely, but then she’s back to glaring daggers at him. “But what about me?” she cries. “When you’re not here, she’s always talking about you, and when you are here, she’s always gone!” She wipes at her eyes with her little wrist, trying her hardest to hide the tears building in her eyes.

Maui’s floored. Honest and true. His rattled mind isn’t sure what it wants to focus on more. The part about Moana missing him when he’s gone? The part about her missing him so much that she talks to tapestry of him?

Or the part that Simea thinks she’s not as important to Moana?

It’s baffling, honestly. He’s sure that Moana’s heart would be shattering to pieces if she heard any of this, given how much he’s seen firsthand how much Moana treasures her little sister.

Maui shakes his head at the thought. Then, glancing from side to side like he’s about to disclose top-secret information, he leans forward.

“Well…do you want to know a secret about her too? Since you told me one?”

Simea’s eyes widen. She doesn’t reply with words, but she nods her head, like she’s afraid someone will overhear.

Maui smiles. “Moana talks about you all the time, too. Practically every time you’re out of her line of sight.”

Her eyes light up. “Really?”

“Oh yeah,” his grin widens, because it’s contagious. “It’s always Simea would love this and I can’t wait to bring Simea here this, and I need to make sure to pick up a souvenir for Simea that. You’re all she can talk about. She loves you to bits, kiddo. Did she ever tell you that she still keeps your shell in her locket?”

“She does?” That little smile of hers just keeps getting bigger and bigger.

He doesn’t want to talk about how she almost died with it in her grasp. Or that he almost had to bury her with it in her palm. He hopes he can get the point across regardless.

“Yep!” his voice cracks as he attempts to wave off that train of thought. “Matter of fact,” he tries again after clearing his throat, “she’s always telling me that it’s her motivation to make it home safely. No matter how long or dangerous our voyages are, I always see her gripping onto her locket for dear life like she’s trying to reach out to you from across the sea to promise that she’s coming home. I believe her, too” he nods. “The most upset I ever saw her get on our way to Motufetū was when she almost dropped it into the ocean during a storm.” He shakes his head. “As if the ocean wouldn’t have done everything to give it back to her.”

He laughs to himself at the thought; of Moana going that much further for someone she loves, just because she can. Even when it involves putting herself at risk.

There’s a deep fondness in his voice as he continues on. “My point is that she’s happy. The happiest I’ve seen since I’ve met her. I thought she’d never stop bouncing on her feet when we sailed to Te Fiti together, and then you come along and that increases tenfold. When she’s out on the water it’s less about getting away and more about finding something new and bringing it home.” He shakes his head, the warmth in his chest only growing stronger. “It’s almost like…you gave her someone to fight for.”

“...Oh,” Simea replies, and when Maui meets her eyes again her expression’s unreadable. She’s not angry or sad anymore, that much he can tell, but that’s about it. She almost looks…embarrassed? Whatever it is, she’s deep in thought over it.

“Well…” she taps her at her chin quizzically, “I think you’re that for her too”

“I…” Maui stammers, genuinely caught off guard. “Me?”

“Yeah,” she nods, bouncing shyly on her feet. “Like, she’s always happy! She loves doing Chief stuff with Dad, and she always gets so excited right before she goes on a voyage. But she always gets sooo excited when she sees you, or when she thinks she sees a big hawk, or something like that,” she shrugs, “and everyone notices! She gets all bouncy, and happy, and starts running down to the beach as fast as she can, even if she was doing other important stuff.” She looks to the ground. “I think you give her something to be all happy and excited over.”

Maui…genuinely doesn’t know what to say to that. It’s one thing to think that Moana likes spending time with him and another to tease her about him being her favorite person ever for all time, but it’s something else entirely to hear it from someone she’s close to.

“In that case,” Maui taps at his chin, doing his best to convey the humor in his tone despite the slight waver in his voice, “Maybe we can both be her favorite, huh?” He extends a hand to offer a handshake.

“Hmm…” Simea considers, tapping at her chin. “I mean, I do have two different best friends. I guess it can be like that” she replies, but doesn’t move to shake his hand. She squints at him again, but there’s not nearly the same amount of anger and hurt that there was earlier. “But how do I know you’re not just gonna run off and tell Moana I was being mean to you? And then take her away again?”

Maui laughs at that, genuinely. He supposes it’s what he gets for being so proud of his status as a trickster demigod. He pauses to think, eyes gazing around his surroundings as he searches for an answer, but then-

Oh!

Of course!

He knew there was something he’d been forgetting. Maui sits up, reaches into the back makeshift pocket of his grass skirt, and pulls out a small pink-and-white conch shell.

Simea gasps. “Is that for me? What does it do?”

Maui nods. “There’s legends that if you hold these up to your ear, you’ll be able to hear the ocean from anywhere in the world.”

“Woaaaah!!!” Simea squeals, bringing the shell to her ear to test out his theory. “You’re right!! I can hear it!”

Maui smiles. “Well, yeah, consider that an apology gift. Y’know, for being Moana’s other favorite person.”

Simea’s barely paying attention to him anymore. She’s just turning her little seashell in her hands over and over again. “That’s okay,” she replies haphazardly, like she barely even heard what he said. “As long as you bring me more shells, you’ll be my favorite person too. Then we’ll be even and we can all be each other’s favorites.”

He laughs at that, and stands to his feet as she continues to turn her shell over in her hands, her eyes sparkling in awe.

“You’ve got yourself a deal, kiddo.”

#my writing #moana #team bun buddies #moana waialiki #simea waialiki #maui #disney maui #get found family'd idiot #get adopted despite being 3000 years old IDIOTTTTTTT #(affectionate)

15 notes · View notes

milesluna · 2 years ago

Text

My Favorite Games of 2023.

Hi. Hello. Thanks ever so much for clicking on this page. Happy to have you.

First thing's first: I'm a little freak when it comes to video games. I don't feel the need to beat most games I play. From Software is one of my favorite studios in the industry and I've never finished a single one of their games. This means, fortunately, that I get to play a LOT more games than the average bear.

I've written up some blurbs about my top ten favorite games from 2023, but before that here's the list of every game I remember playing this year that left any sort of lasting impact on me (in no particular order):

Dead Space Remake Resident Evil 4 Remake F-Zero 99 Humanity Dredge Metroid Prime Remastered Anemoiaplois Alan Wake 2 Baldur’s Gate 3 LoZ Tears of the Kingdom Counter Strike 2 Hunt Showdown El Paso Elsewhere Jusant Slay the Princess| Remnant II The Finals Street FIghter 6 Lethal Company BattleBit Remastered Don’t Scream Homebody The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog Pizza Tower World of Horror Super Mario Wonder Mr. Sun’s Hatbox Fifa 23 Sea of Stars (Demo) Half-Life (25th Anniversary Update)

And the games I played that were NOT released in 2023:

Unpacking Persona 4 Golden Picross 7 The Order 1886 Shovel Knight Dig Lost Planet: Extreme Condition Spider-Man: Miles Morales Pac-Man Championship Edition DX Project Zomboid Quake LoZ The Minish Cap Drill Dozer Wario Land 4 Pokemon Pinball Resident Evil Revelations Summer of ‘58 Trackmania TwinCop We Were Here Visage Cursed Halo CE Half-Life 2 (I probably play this once per year) Witch Hunt Red Dead Redemption 2 Cyberpunk 2077 Borderlands 3 Brutal Legend Cultic Slay the Spire PUBG Rez Infinite Batman Arkham City Alan Wake Alan Wake: American Nightmare Max Payne LoZ: Majora’s Mask 3DS Metroid Prime Metroid Prime 2 Tunic Everhood Final Fantasy VII Final Fantasy VII Remake GOODBYE WORLD Yakuza: Like a Dragon Critters for Sale Dome Keeper Phasmophobia Hades Nintendo Switch Sports

Now that you understand the kind of freak you're dealing with…

Let's dive into my top ten favorite games from this objectively fucked up year.

10. El Paso Elsewhere Developed by Texas indie studio Strange Scaffold, El Paso Elsewhere is a Max Payne-clone with vampires, an opinionated narrator, and lots and lots of bullet time. As a small studio punching well above their weight class, Strange Scaffold leans into abstract, PlayStation 1 minimalism when it comes to visuals and pairs them with a soundtrack that will make your hands sweat. The vibes are here and they're ready for the end of the world. I'm personally also a big fan of everything this studio stands for.

9. Mr. Sun's Hatbox I want you to imagine Metal Gear Solid V. Now I want you to imagine that game as a 2D, level-based, slapstick platformer you can play with up to three friends. If you think that sounds stupid, you'd be right. And it's beautiful. As you build up a secret army of soldiers with various skills (and disorders), you'll start to develop *favorites*. This game constantly asks if you're willing to send those favorites on a harrowing mission and risk losing them forever… or if you'd rather send an idiot you recently captured who blinks constantly and can't kill anyone without fainting.

8. Dredge Every year I feel like I find one game that falls into the “just one more round” category, and baby… Dredge was it for 2023. As a weary fisherman in strange waters, you'll make the most out of your 12 measly hours of sunlight only for your daily voyages to inevitably pull you into the darkness of night, and night is when things get weird. Rocks emerge from the fog that you swear weren't there before, your equipment malfunctions, and you're pretty sure you just saw something in the water… something big. Despite only containing a small collection of islands, the world of Dredge manages to feel vast - perhaps vast enough to swallow you whole.

7. Resident Evil 4 Remake I was curious to see what sort of changes would be made to the timeless classic and father of modern 3rd person shooters, Resident Evil 4. I wasn't let down. RE4 Remake takes all the things that didn't age well about the original, tossed them out, and replaced them with only good things. And MORE things! It's campy, fun, and better than a game of bingo.

6. Jusant I really feel like this one didn't get the recognition it deserves. Jusant is a rock climbing game that combines the quiet contemplation of Journey with the mechanical specificity of Death Stranding. Unlike Death Standing, though, there is very little story to interrupt your flow. There are plenty of collectible bits to find for those curious to learn more about what happened before the events of the game, but the environmental storytelling does most of the heavy lifting. For me, the joy of the game comes from how it feels. Right trigger controls your right hand grip, and left trigger controls left hand grip. Plan your route, manage your stamina, and climb high above the clouds in search of answers.

5. F-Zero 99 This. Shit. Slaps. I've never been a big F-Zero guy, but this MADE me one. The “battle royale”, 99 player format is the perfect fit for the ruthless, high octane world of the game. Races last about three minutes, and friend, they are the most intense, white-knuckled three minutes of your life. The decision to make your boost meter the same as your health meter started in F-Zero 64 (I believe), and it is so much more HARROWING in this game when another player could side-swipe you mere meters from the finish line and blow you to bits. Sadly it's only playable via Switch Online, but it made me cheer, laugh, and scream enough this year to earn a spot in my top 5.

4. Alan Wake 2 Remedy makes weird games that also manage to exist in the AAA space and for that I will forever love them. Although Alan Wake 2 resembles a 3rd person shooter survival horror, I'd honestly say it's more of a narrative game than anything else. There's sidequests, there's puzzles, there's upgradeable skills, but at the end of the day the characters, world, and story are what kept me playing. If you haven't checked them out recently, you should definitely watch a story recap of the original games before diving into this sequel, but the wild swings for the fences this game takes are well worth that small price of admission. There's a god damn musical number, for Christ's sake.

3. The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom I've really got nothing to say about this game that most people don't already know. It's incredible. The fact that Nintendo made a game that redefined an entire genre and then made a SEQUEL to it that ups the ante is remarkable. To be honest, I've only cleared the Rito, Zora, and Goron cities. I got a bit tired of exploring the depths and guiding Koroks to their friends, but I can't deny the sheer level of complexity and polish on display here. I saw someone on TikTok build a functioning Mecha Godzilla in this game. Good God. I've heard that the ending of this game is one of the best in the franchise, and if I'd seen it this year then it may have wound up higher on my list, but for the time being I'll continue picking up this masterpiece from time to time, chipping away at it until the day comes that I can finally smack the tits off thicc Ganondorf.

2. Half-Life (25th Anniversary Update) I know I'm gonna get shit for this, but I don't care. This year was the 25th anniversary of Half-Life and Valve released an update that made playing it (and it's online Death Match) much more accessible. I threw it on my Steam Deck out of curiosity, expecting to play for 20 minutes. I could not put it down. It is unbelievable how modern this game still feels. I simply had so much fun sprinting through the corridors of Black Mesa with a dozen weapons strapped to my back, blasting aliens and military Spec-Op chumps as a 24(?!) year old theoretical physicist.

1. Baldur's Gate III This game is fucked up, man. The sheer amount of writing in this game scares me. We can all talk about how BIG this game is, it deserves it, but the thing BG3 does better than any other role playing game I have ever experienced is actually encourage roleplaying. I've played through Act I four times now, with four different groups of friends, and it has felt fresh every time. I have seen the same events play out in so many different ways that it boggles the mind, but in every one of those play sessions I see players asking themselves “What would my lil guy do here?” rather than "what is the best thing to do here?" The game rewards players constantly for just trying shit and the D&D 5e rule set means playing like the character you said you were from the start leads to frequent Points of Inspiration. Maybe one day I'll see the end of this story (probably not), but I don't have to in order to feel a connection with BG3's world, characters, and most impressively, the characters I made myself.

Honorable Mentions for 2023

5. Dave the Diver 4. Homebody 3. Sea of Stars 2. Humanity 1. Super Mario Wonder

Top 5 Favorites NOT from 2023

5. Metroid Prime 4. Final Fantasy VII Remake 3. Cursed Halo (Halo CE Mod) 2. Red Dead Redemption 2 1. Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask (3DS)

Games I didn't have a chance to play from 2023 but still want to when I find more time...

Viewfinder Venba Chants of Sennaar Thirsty Suitors Hi-Fi Rush Moonring Armored Core VI Laika Aged Through Blood Bomb Rush Cyberfunk

OKAY THANKS BYE!

#video games #2023 #GOTY

85 notes · View notes

shmowder · 1 year ago

Text

Termites + Clara and getting a toy with their meal

Sticky would pretend he's above it, that he doesn't care about kiddie toys. He'll order whatever Artemy orders to try and feel included with the adults. Except that his tastebuds are still of a 12y overdosing on nuggets daily, and he can not handle anything more spicy than ketchup. He managea three bites before his eyes start watering as he battles the spiciness while Artemy watches unimpressed.

Capella actually doesn't want a toy, but she still orders a meal with one anyway. It was to take home with her and keep as a souvenir of this outing. She's the one being addressed by the waiters and the person who goes to the cashier to correct an error in the order if Artemy wasn't around. While the fast food meal isn't what she usually eats, she finds herself intrigued by the simplicity of the flavours. She enjoys the sugary soda more than she'll ever like to admit, although Notkin clearly shares the sentiment and offers her his cup later as they leave.

Notkin immediately orders a toy meal along with Clara. The both of them end up having a blast using their mini figure toys to stage a fight on the table, using ketchup as fake blood and doing sound effects with their own voices. It's a theatrics show, and they use stale fries as woobly swords for their toys. He doesn't end up eating much but takes advantage of the free soda refills to stock up on 4 or 5 cups when no one in the staff is looking. He ends up "winning" the mini figure fight after tricking Clara into a trap with a paper crown. Taya is over the moon impressed. He soaks up her praise like a sponge and retells her the fight she just watched when they leave the diner... but more dramatically.

Khan actually enjoys the "grown-up" food courtesy to his family's eccentric tastes. His taste buds pretty much got used to most things other kids wouldn't even try. He tries not to say anything when he feels Sticky glaring at him from the other side of the table, half finished glass milk in hand. He absolutely hates the soda and can't understand why anyone would like something so sugary. He orders an average meal and splits it with Grace, insisting she's doing him a favour. Ends up criticising the food within earshot of the waiter multiple times. Makes everyone–Clara and Notkin especially– Clean the food mess they threw on the floor while playing around before leaving.

Taya didn't just ask for a toy. She asked for all the toys there in the whole diner! Although with Haruspex's current lack of stable income, she was content with just one toy and a meal. Immediately giving her toy a name and showing it off to everyone who would make eye contact with her for a split second, even telling the strangers sitting on the other tables about her beloved awesome toy... Only to become bored of it midway through the meal and move on to observe the entertaining fight show that Clara and Notkin are improvising. Her happiness is contagious and other adults ends up giving her some of their desserts just for being adorable. Artemy has to run after her and take her back to their original table after she enhaled half the cake from a stranger kid's birthday table.

Murky clearly wanted a meal with a toy. Not only was it blatantly obvious, but she was very bad at hiding it. Shaking her head when asked about it by the cashier and hiding between Artemy's legs. She didn't budge when questioned and refused to admit that she wanted a toy. At least Sticky was there to pick her food order for her, pancakes with syrup and strawberries. Even if the restaurant stopped serving the breakfast menu by this hour, him and Capella made a valid argument for an exception. Thankfully, it did work, and Clara's plan B of breaking into the kitchen and using her magic on the cook didn't have to come into action... today. Before leaving, Taya entrusted her toy to Murky and told her to keep it and take care of it, especially after Murky gave her one of the strawberries.

Clara immediately goes for the dollar kids menu, absolute zero shame. She briefly glances over the laminated paper menu to look at Artemy and make sure that he is the one paying, correct? Before picking the most expensive dish on the kids' menu, Behold! a three dollars meal, with a complimentary toy. She's the one having the most fun out of the rest of the kids during this outing and being playful in general. Making Grace throw M&M at her to see how many can she catch midair with just her mouth. Turns out... 25 out of 56. Not bad, not bad. She ends up leaving the diner with the paper crown still atop her head.

Grace didn't want to burden the haruspex. She was already grateful for just being invited, really. So she picked the cheapest thing on the menu, small fries. Smiling at Artemy's concerned gaze as he decided to just let her be. She sat content on her side of the table, watching Clara and Notkin playing together. She indulged Clara's games and was pleasantly surprised by how delicious the M&Ms were when Clara insisted that they switch roles and Grace should try catching them instead. Then the M&Ms turned into fries, salad pieces, and finally, chicken nuggets as it became clear that Clara just started the game as an excuse to share her food with Grace. Which counterproductivly ended up with two-thirds of it on the ground instead, courtesy to both of their bad aims.

#♧artemy #♧the termites #♧Clara #♧wholesome #♧the termites + Clara #clara saburova #sticky burakh #murky burakh #capella olgimskaya #notkin pathologic #khan kain #grace pathologic #taya tycheek #Artemy Burakh

22 notes · View notes