#thoughts of why and what it is i hate about myself
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this is my tips to slander the suggestion about the prediction if i was an astrologer:
i can do what i like but it's not even there to see as if you already know his chart in real life
like you can tell on his moon that you're there anyway (libra moons have it too damn hard these days)
2. sexless opinions about his life with sarah could also indicate he's not even remotely single at all or by any means 'how can a fan get to him' energy
3. he doesn't care or know you exist (which is why i reblogged you cuz i liked your opinion)
this is how a muslim would do it
5:19 يَـٰٓأَهْلَ ٱلْكِتَـٰبِ قَدْ جَآءَكُمْ رَسُولُنَا يُبَيِّنُ لَكُمْ عَلَىٰ فَتْرَةٍۢ مِّنَ ٱلرُّسُلِ أَن تَقُولُوا۟ مَا جَآءَنَا مِنۢ بَشِيرٍۢ وَلَا نَذِيرٍۢ ۖ فَقَدْ جَآءَكُم بَشِيرٌۭ وَنَذِيرٌۭ ۗ وَٱللَّهُ عَلَىٰ كُلِّ شَىْءٍۢ قَدِيرٌۭ ١٩
O People of the Book! Our Messenger has indeed come to you, making things clear to you after an interval between the messengers so you do not say, “There has never come to us a deliverer of good news or a warner.” Now there has come to you a deliverer of good news and a warner. And Allah is Most Capable of everything. — Dr. Mustafa Khattab, The Clear Quran
schizophrenia madonna's whore complex: (why you hate life and all it's purposes: why you suck at breathing is everybody else but you (personal problem against a God named 'Allah')
SMWC: this does not like me by thought (astrology) and i hate how i'm perceived by height (weird ways of being you cuz i have a dramatic monologue about life given to me by standards: shitty celebrities don't personally respond to you like a fckin call centre wonder why they are famous which is why they (i) lost the point in being myself) like i know why now
schizophrenia Hollywood: (i really hate to be there cuz i vibe all the time (cant help being this good to live, yk)
SH: i started living again with this (said gender) i love, and i really really like him (i got a crush on him too badly that i cannot speak (me 99.9% of the time and i dunno how to ask but i know i have a choice (rlly my faves an me don't understand cuz all my feels are real, yk?)
schizophrenia hate: the fckin episode of doctor who convinced me to fuck david tennant on the go but he ain't even real anymore (hence why my stress does not collaborate with band energy which is why i put a Urie there and not Tennant cuz his thwarts are my cohorts in demonic practices in space and time made me thinking about good luck charlie for many reasons now, like get me my own sex scene, i hate Hollywood for misunderstanding me (actually a fan of Raven (DC comics)
SH8: i wonder how Brendon Urie is sexually thinking about me atm
My bold prediction is that Brendon Urie is going to leave the public eye for a year, maybe two years max and then attempt to make a comeback with his new "wife guy" persona.
My second prediction is that this will blow up in his face within six months
#this is how you read the qur'an in modern times#not even shitty monolingo can adapt to my awesomeness#shada language project is a massive get go to a Urie making a baby with a honey homely like i am#your advice#not mine
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Wrong Person (College AU!)
Hockey player!Cregan Stark x Reader, Aemond Targaryen x Reader
Summary: Aemond's girlfriend has a group project with the man he hates the most, Cregan Stark.
Warning: abuse, domestic violence, alcohol consumption, implied smut, implied fighting, smoking, angst; characters generations/ages don't quite make sense but basically everyone is 20 in this
Word Count: 4.7k
Masterlist
A/N Hey guys, I know its been a while. Some of you may have figured out I stop posting as much when school picks up but here’s something I’ve been slowly piecing together
Taking a deep breath, I knocked on Aemond’s door. Softly, but not so soft he would miss it. Immediately the door swung open and I was met with Aemond’s eternally neutral expression. I felt my own heart sink as he yet again didn’t greet me with a smile. “Hey,” I greeted shyly, feeling my lips quirk up into a smile despite how disappointed I repeatedly found myself.
“Hey,” he greeted in return, stepping aside to let me through. I walked past him, finding his dorm just as I always did. It was surprisingly clean for a guy’s college dorm but Aemond was pretty tidy. Coming up behind me, he gently lifted my bag off my shoulder, placing it on the desk chair before moving me towards his bed.
I suddenly found myself wishing Criston, his roommate, was here. “Oh I actually need my-”
“What?” Aemond snapped, cutting me off.
I stared up at him for a second, trying to register just how angry he was. Finding no real, threatening anger I decided to answer him. “It’s just, I, uh I have to wrap up something quick for that project. Cregan just-”
Aemond scoffed, rolling his eyes. He walked around me, flopping onto his bed with an annoyed expression. ��All I fucking hear is about Cregan fucking Stark and your project. You’ve been doing this project for like two months.”
I found my arms wrapping around myself but stopped. Aemond hated when I did that. “Stop acting like I’m gonna hurt you!” he’d say. “I’m sorry but it’s a semester long project,” I explained for the hundredth time.
“I don’t see why you had to partner with him,” Aemond grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest petulantly.
“I know, but there were no other seats.” We repeated the same conversation we’ve had dozens of times throughout this semester.
Walking into Tyrell Hall, I checked my phone. One minute until class started. Cursing, I rushed up to the second floor, quickly locating classroom 221B. Entering the room, I let out a huff seeing that every seat was filled. Scanning the room for a glimpse of an open seat, I observed my classmates. I waved to the few I knew, girls from my freshman year residence hall, some people who ran in Aemond’s circle, a few I didn’t know, and then the hockey team. They all sat in the rear corner of the room, with the only seat left being right next to their captain, Cregan Stark. Glancing at the professor, I found her looking at me expectantly so I reluctantly headed to the back of the room, trying to disappear into my hair as I walked past the hockey team.
“Now that we’re all here,” the professor started, “make sure to get to know your desk partner. You’ll be working with them all semester.” Shit.
I looked to my left, finding Cregan already giving me a shit eating grin. “Oh this is gonna be fun,” he smiled, knowing how much Aemond hated the athletes.
Aemond just got quiet, biting his lip as he looked down at his crossed arms. “C’mon, don’t be mad,” I begged, getting up on the bed. I no longer thought about it. We had been through this routine so many times I just acted. I laid on his bed, practically on top of him as I wrapped my arms around his waist, resting my head on his chest. “I hate it too but it’s only for one semester.”
Aemond huffed, uncrossing his arms so he could lay one across my shoulder, nestling me further into his chest. He didn’t say a word, rather he just looked at me. His expression wasn’t expectant but I knew what he wanted. Pushing my body up, I connected my lips to his. He immediately escalated it, turning so he could place one hand on my jaw, the other on my waist as he moved to be on top of me.
Managing to pull away slightly, I looked up at him, his lips still so close I could feel his labored breath. “Aemond, I want to, I really do,” I tried to keep him from getting mad, “but I have-”
“Is this about your project?” he interrupted me, still so close I could feel the sharpness of his breath as he got angrier.
“No,” I assured quickly. “I have a history assignment. Besides, doesn’t Criston get back from class soon?”
“I don’t care,” he said, brushing his nose against mine. “Here,” he said, leaning over me to his bedside table to grab his phone. He typed out a quick message, only briefly showing it to me before tossing it back onto his bedside table. “You can do your work tomorrow morning before class.” His words phrased as a suggestion but holding the weight of a command. He connected his lips to mine again, wasting no time slipping his hand up my shirt.
~
Sitting in class, I tried my best to ignore Cregan. The first half of class was always dedicated to lecture, with the second half going to working on our project. I was keenly aware of Cregan’s eyes flickering toward me every few moments as well as Aemond’s friends a few rows ahead. I just kept my gaze firmly on my notes and the professor’s slides.
Finally, the professor reached the end of her slides. “Okay, that wraps up today’s lecture. Turn to your partner and continue working on your projects. Remember: you should be submitting an outline to me by Monday.”
As I turned towards Cregan, making sure to keep my hair covering my neck, I caught a glimpse of Aegon’s watchful eye. Remembering Aemond, I turned to Cregan’s wolfish grin, refusing to return it. Undeterred, he leaned closer to me. “Hey, I saw you were working on the doc at five a.m. What were you doing up at that hour?” he asked good-naturedly.
“Oh, I couldn’t get to it last night so I woke up early to work on it,” I shrugged. I tried my best not to dwell on the fact that he had noticed that. And judging by his furrowed brows, I tried to ignore the fact that he was concerned about me. “Why were you up at that hour?” I returned, immediately feeling guilty for engaging him.
Cregan’s smile widened. “I was up for hockey practice and got the notifications. Speaking of which, are you coming to the game tonight?”
I sent him a look. “I think you know the answer to that.”
Cregan’s lips fell into a pout. He actually pouted at me like a dog. “C’mon, I want the girl who’s carrying me through this project there.” I just let out a breathy laugh, trying to dismiss his insistence, but thoughtlessly moved my hair, exposing the hickies Aemond had made a point to leave. Beside me, Cregan’s eyes widened. “Woah,” he exclaimed. I felt embarrassment consume me and I wanted the ground to swallow me whole in that moment as I quickly replaced my hair back where it was. “Wow, someone wants everyone to know you have a boyfriend,” Cregan chuckled.
“Cregan,” I began, ready to tell him off. The mortification must have been written all over my face because his expression morphed into silent sympathy as I looked at him.
He cleared his throat, looking down at his notes for a second before turning his attention to my laptop screen. “So where are we on the outline?” he asked. He looked back up, meeting my gaze and I gave him a soft smile of thanks before returning to the project.
~~
Cregan looked up at the stands full of students. Peering in the student section, he was disappointed but unsurprised to find the stands void of his health sciences partner.
“C’mon man, you had to know she wasn’t coming,” Benjicot Blackwood, Cregan’s best friend, interrupted his thoughts. “You know Aemond would never let her come.”
Cregan shrugged. “He’s not in charge of her. She could come.”
“Cregan,” Benji stopped his best friend, becoming very serious for once. “You know he basically controls her every move right? You had to have noticed. She basically hasn’t talked to anyone except Aemond and his friends since like October last year.”
Cregan stopped to think. Now that he thought about it, he realized that she had used to be one of the most well liked people at the university. But now, she really only had a reputation for being Aemond fucking Targaryen's girlfriend. He couldn’t believe that she of all people even looked at that silver haired prick twice.
Seeing his best friend’s dismay, Benji felt bad knowing that Cregan had had a crush on the girl since he first saw her freshman year. “Hey,” he caught his friend’s attention. “Larys told me Aemond and his little cult are going to Phi Gamma Delta tonight. Even if she isn’t there you could ‘accidentally’ spill some beer on Aemond.”
Cregan sent a mischievous look to his friend, a small smile quirking on his lips.
~
“So where are we going?” I asked Alicent as she curls my hair.
“Phi Gamma Delta,” she explained, putting down the hot wand and spraying hair spray all over me.
“Are the guys coming with us?” I asked, turning to her as she took the curling wand to her own hair.
“Yeah, Harwin is going to let the guys in,” Alicent explained, flawlessly curling her brown locks.
I stood up from her bed, going to my bag to grab my outfit. But as soon as I pulled it out, Alicent turned toward me with wide eyes. “Oh no, I already have something for you to wear so we can match,” she came up with on the spot.
“Thanks but I haven’t gotten to wear this since like first semester sophomore year,” I said, holding up the backless top. I didn’t say the quiet part out loud, I hadn’t worn it since Aemond and I got together.
“Yeah but I’m wearing a long sleeve,” Alicent said, standing up from her desk and holding up her sheer top.
“Another time,” I promised her. Grabbing my clothes, I headed for her bathroom, quickly changing into the top and my black jeans that I had cleaned beer off of so many times.
Entering the room again, Alicent had a slightly sour attitude as she finished off her hair. But I just ignored it, determined to have a good night as I got started on my makeup. Once the both of us were ready, we headed to Aemond’s room where all the guys were waiting for us.
I knocked, being louder this time so as to overcome the music that was already blasting. The door swung open, revealing Criston. “Hey!” he greeted the two of us excitedly. “The girls are here,” he announced to the very crowded dorm room.
Aemond pushed his way to the front of the room, a beer fueled smile on his face. But it dropped as soon as he saw me. My heart immediately sunk seeing his expression but he just grabbed my arm, dragging me into the dorm somewhat harshly. Before I could even speak, he was already barking orders at me. “Go grab a drink, I’ll talk to you in a second,” he spat. Disheartened and slightly scared, I went over to Criston’s desk which was lined with booze.
Aemond turned his attention to Alicent, seething. “I thought she was wearing that one long sleeve top,” he growled.
“I’m sorry, I tried to make her take it but she wouldn’t,” she defended. “I could’ve told her it was you insisting she wear it,” she threw back with a quirked brow.
Aemond just sent her a glare before going back to his girlfriend. “Hey,” he greeted, an arm slipping around my waist to bring me to face him. “Look, I’m sorry I got mad earlier its just… this top,” he said, tugging at the fabric, “is… well its basically a rectangle of fabric held together by one string,” he explained. His fingers now finding the back of my top, tugging at the string to where it almost came untied to make his point.
I averted my eyes, gaze flickered down, shame coursing through me. “I’m sorry, it’s just, I loved this top.”
“I know, baby. And I’m not trying to control what you wear just, keep close to me tonight. Not all the guys there will respect you,” he said, giving another tug to the string of my top before stepping away towards his friends.
Feeling slightly disoriented and embarrassed, I headed to the bathroom in order to fix the top before returning to the pregame, trying to forget the earlier conversation with cheap booze.
After a few more moments, Aemond had declared that it was time for us to all go to the frat. As we all headed over, Aemond had his arm slung across my shoulder. By the time we reached the house, I was shivering thanks to all my exposed skin, and slightly wishing I had listened to Alicent.
As soon as we entered, Alicent grabbed my hand, dragging me to the dance floor as the DJ started to play Super Bass. It wasn’t long after we had been jumping around on the dance floor that Aemond found me again, moving to stand behind me with one hand around my waist and the other holding a beer.
After a couple songs, I felt Aemond’s fingers tap on my hip before his lips came up behind my ear. “I’m gonna go out back for a smoke. Be safe,” he advised before taking his leave, a few of the guys following him upstairs out of the basement.
I just turned back to Alicent who seemed to relieved to not have anyone hovering around her so she could let loose. I laughed as her dancing became more wild and sloppy. That was until her eyes went wide and she was looking at the staircase leading out of the basement. Confused, I turned to find the entire hockey team filling the stairway, with Cregan Stark standing at the top of the staircase.
He looked around for a moment as he descended the stairs, before his eyes settled on me and a smile broke across his face. It was as if Aemond’s training kicked in or something because I had the sudden urge to go find him but something in me kept me firmly rooted to the ground. Maybe it was the beer and god knows what other sticky substances keeping my shoes on the floor of this frat basement.
Either way, it was too late to leave because Cregan was pushing his way through the crowd towards me until he towered over me. The dancing bodies of other students being no match for his hulking frame. He stooped down, bringing his lips closer to my ear. “Hi,” he greeted, pulling away with a bright smile.
“Hi,” I returned, not even bothering to try to reach up to reach his ear.
“Where’s your owner?” he asked sarcastically.
I sent him a look when he pulled away. He just laughed, bringing his lips to my ear again. “I kid. But seriously, I’m surprised he’s not attached to your hip making sure someone like me isn’t talking to you,” he teased.
This time he didn’t immediately stand up, allowing me to talk in his ear to answer. “He’s in the backyard. He’ll be out soon,” I answered.
“Well then I guess I have to make due with the time I have,” Cregan smiled. Before I could protest, his hand found mine, tugging me towards him. His grip was tight enough to move me, but not so tight that I couldn’t slip out if I wanted to.
I knew I shouldn’t, but I couldn’t help but move with Cregan, finding laughs building in my chest as I watched him dance. We were having a good time until all of a sudden Cregan got a serious expression on his face, standing straight up and looking toward the staircase. I didn’t even have time to follow his gaze before he grabbed my arm tugging me behind him.
“Hey! Wha-” I began to protest as I was whirled around but the words died in my throat as I realized why Cregan had gotten serious.
Currently pushing through the crowd was a murderous looking Aemond. Rather than rush to calm him like I probably should, I found myself cowering behind the hockey captain, clinging to his arm. “Stark!” Aemond barked across the crowded room, so loud everyone managed to hear it. “What the hell are you doing with my girlfriend?” he spat, getting in Cregan’s face.
“Nothing, we were just dancing,” he answered coolly. “Then you came down here looking like you wanted to murder someone.”
Aemond rolled his eyes. “Yeah, well, maybe don’t dance with another guy’s girlfriend next time.” He turned his gaze to me, holding out his hand expectantly. “Come on, we’re leaving.”
The fear coursing through me was screaming at me to take his hand but something wouldn’t let my body move. Cregan sent a glance back towards me before turning to Aemond. “She doesn’t wanna go with you.”
“Stay out of this,” Aemond seethed. “This is none of your business.” He then looked at me expectantly again. “We’re going,” he spat.
By now the music had died down and everyone was looking at us. Glancing around, I saw both the hockey team and Aemond’s friends coming towards us, prepared to back up their guys. “Nah, I’m not letting her go with you,” Cregan declared. “Not until you calm down.”
That just seemed to ignite a fury in Aemond. “She’s my girlfriend, Stark,” he spat through gritted teeth. “She’s perfectly fine with me and I sure as hell am not leaving my girlfriend with any of you,” he nodded to the hockey team.
“Then why does she look terrified of you right now?” Benji interjected.
“Shut up, Blackwood,” Criston spat.
All of the guys started arguing, yelling at the others to shut up. Still behind Cregan, I snapped my head behind me as I felt a gentle hand brush against mine. Turning, I found Rhaenyra looking at me with a concerned, gentle look. I just stared at her for a moment before Alicent’s voice brought me back to the conflict.
“Enough!” she got in between Cregan and Aemond. “I’m taking her back to her dorm unless all of you,” she pointed at the guys on both sides, “want to leave.”
There were some grumbles but no one protested. “I’ll go with her too,” Rhaenyra offered.
Not letting the boys fight it out even more, I spoke up. “Yeah, we’re going home,” I agreed. Stepping away from Cregan, I shakily approached Aemond. He was looking at me like I had committed some serious sin against him. “I’m sorry,” I whispered softly. I tried to move past him but he grabbed my waist, pulling me into an aggressive kiss. I could taste the beer and smoke on his lips as he forced his lips into mine. And I had a sneaking suspicion his eyes were locked onto Cregan’s.
When he released me, I let out a shuddered breath as his hand rested on my hip. “We’ll discuss this tomorrow,” his voice was grave. But his hand came off my waist, as if giving me permission to walk away.
Nothing was really said as I left the frat with Alicent and Rhaenyra on my heels. They both tried to ask me multiple times if I was okay, to which I just nodded in agreement. My mind was too consumed playing out what had just happened. But as soon as we were within ten minutes of my dorm, I stopped walking and turned to the two girls behind me. “I’m good here if you guys wanna head home or back to the party. I appreciate you coming with me but I think I just need to be alone right now.”
They both sent each other a glance. “We’re not letting you walk alone at night,” Rhaenyra protested.
“I’ll be fine,” I insisted.
They both looked at each other reluctantly before looking toward me. “Okay but, call someone if you start to feel freaked out,” Alicent said.
“I will,” I agreed, before turning on my heel and walking away.
Immediately, I pulled out my phone, afraid to see what was on there. Opening it, I was first confronted with a text from Cregan.
Hey sorry about tn If he tries anything with you let me know and I’ll handle it
My heart melted reading his messages. I wanted to cry at how sweet he had been lately, mostly because Aemond had been anything but.
Going to our messages, I found nothing. I didn’t know if that was a good or a bad thing. I’m sure my refusal to move would come up some way or another.
I swiped out of my messages with Aemond, going back to Cregan. Reluctantly, I held down on the message until the option to delete it popped up. My finger hesitated over the delete button before I hit it. Just like I had deleted all his flirty texts. Leaving nothing but the texts about our project.
~
The next morning, I was woken up by incessant banging on my door. Glancing quickly at the clock, I saw that it read eight a.m. Rushing to the door, I opened it without checking who it was because deep down, I already knew.
As the door flew open I immediately took a step back, finding Aemond practically glowing with fury. “What the hell was that last night?” he spat, storming into my room.
I backed up as he entered, the door slamming shut behind him. For the first time, I cursed the fact that my roommate went home every weekend. “Aemond, I’m-”
My words were cut off as he lunged forward, his hand coming to close around my throat. “You’re what?” he spat. “Sorry? Sorry for humiliating me? Making me look like an awful person?” But I hardly heard a word, too busy trying to process the fact that he had actually grabbed me by the throat and was choking me. But it seemed my silence angered him more as his fist became tighter and he pressed me up against the wall. My vision was beginning to fade as he crushed my windpipe even tighter. “You cowered away from your boyfriend behind Cregan fucking Stark! Do you know how that makes me look? This,” he said, referring to his hand around my throat, “is because of you. You make me out to be some abuser, fine. It can be that way,” he spat before dragging me to the floor.
I coughed and sputtered as I hit the ground. Hard. “I’m sorry,” I managed to gasp out through tears and desperate gulps of air. “I wasn’t thinking straight.”
Aemond stood over me, bending down to get in my face. “You’re damn right you weren’t thinking straight. I’ll see you Monday and you better have fixed this attitude by then,” he said before marching out of my room.
~
That entire weekend I just flipped between numbly trying to wrap my head around what happened and sobbing violently. Every time I caught a glimpse of my bruised neck in the mirror—Aemond’s fingers clearly marked in my skin—or thought about the feeling of his hand around my throat.
I stood in the bathroom, my skin blotchy from the tears and black and blue covering my neck. I had only just managed to start being able to look at myself without immediately dissolving into sobs when my phone rang. Hesitantly, I picked it up, finding Cregan’s name scrawled across my screen. After another moment of hesitation, I answered the call. “Hello?” I answered, immediately cringing at the hoarseness of my voice.
“Hey,” Cregan’s voice came over the phone, his concern apparent. “Are you okay?” His heart was racing as he heard the scratchiness in her voice.
I hesitated for a moment, trying to clear my throat but it was no use. Between the choking and nearly two days worth of sobbing, my voice was fried. “Yeah, I’m fine.”
“No you’re not, I’m coming over,” Cregan informed, already getting up from his bed.
“Cregan,” I began to protest.
“You’re still in Benjen Hall 514, right?” Cregan asked.
I opened my mouth to protest but the words wouldn’t fall. So instead, I gave a reluctant confirmation.
“I’ll be over in five.”
I hung up the phone, going over to my bed and slinking onto it. I didn’t know what to do. I felt like I should try to clean myself up and hide the hand print on my neck. But if I hod it, what life was I resigning myself to?
I didn’t have much time to act because there was a knock at my door. I found myself rushing to open the door, despite my resistance to being seen by anyone. But either way, I opened the door, quickly ushering Cregan inside before letting it shut again, once again hiding Aemond’s act from the world.
After observing my room for a moment, Cregan turned to me. “So what’s wrong?” he asked.
I realized I was looking at the ground, effectively hiding my face and neck. After a second of hesitation, I looked up, letting him see the bruises and tear stains. His eyes widened, his jaw even dropping as he saw my state. He just stared at me for a moment before he spoke hesitantly. “Did- did Aemond do that?” he asked, horror lacing his voice. I only nodded reluctantly.
I watched the shock turn to sympathy, to hurt, to finally anger. His jaw locked and his fists curled as he took a step away from me. “That little-” he couldn’t even finish his insult he was so angry. “Did you get my text? Why didn’t you call?”
“I-” I began but I was cut off my my cringe at the sound of my own voice. “I don’t know. The past few days have just been a blur.”
Cregan stepped towards me. I flinched as he came towards me to which he immediately stopped. “I’m not gonna hurt you,” he swore. He took another hesitant step forward until he was gently grasping my shoulders. “I am however, gonna beat the shit out of that deadbeat boyfriend of yours. Or should I say, ex-boyfriend.”
“Cregan,” I began, my hands finding his chest. “I-” I didn’t even know what I wanted to say. I just broke down into sobs as I fell into his chest. In response, he just hugged me tightly, running his fingers through my hair.
“Hey, it’ll be okay,” he hushed me. “I swear I’ll be right back.”
~~
Cregan cringed as he knocked on room 514. His knuckles were bloody but he didn’t care. Immediately the door swung open, revealing his health sciences partner. She immediately threw herself into his arms, much to the hockey player’s joy. He hugged her tighter as her legs came to wrap around his hips. Entering the threshold of the room, he let the door fall shut behind him as her feet fell back down onto the ground. “No one’s ever gonna hurt you again,” Cregan swore, his forehead resting against hers. “I promise you.”
Masterlist
#x reader#game of thrones#game of thrones x reader#got#got x reader#house of the dragon#house of the dragon x reader#hotd#hotd x reader#cregan stark x reader#cregan x reader#cregan stark x female reader#cregan stark#cregan#aemond targaryen#aemond x reader#aemond targaryen x reader#modern au#college au#modern!cregan stark#modern!aemond
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Do You Hate Me
Pairing: Drummer!Kate Bishop x Fan!Reader
Word Count: 2335
Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Hurt/comfort, Smut, Daddy kink, P in V, Cum strap, StoneTop!Kate, PleasureDom!Kate, Hints to breeding, Um not sure there is much more.
Pt 1
A/n: I must always give thanks for the help from @wandamaximoffsbadgirl on writing this one. This turned from idea's about Drummer!Kate into an impromptu fic. It was done before Kinktober and just needed edited up and finished. So that is what I did. Sorry that I didn't get the last fic of Kinktober done I just couldn't bring myself to write the last one cause I didn't really know what to do with it. Maybe one day but I'm not to sure. So to make up for it here is more Drummer!Kate.
NO ONE IS PERMITTED TO STEAL, COPY, OR REBLOG MY WORK AS THEIR OWN
Your fingers slowly trail down Kate’s body. You want to be able to touch your girlfriend, giving her the same pleasure that she gives you. You’re shocked when her hands grab your wrist and stop you. Her grip is tight, tighter than she has ever held you. “Katie that hurts.”
Kate quickly lets your hands go. “I’m sorry baby I didn’t mean to. Just please don’t touch me like that.” Her tone is harsh. She is acting in a way that you have never seen her before.
“Kate why can’t I-” Kate cuts you off.
“I said don’t.” It’s like you can see an internal battle going on within Kate. Her eyes showed a different emotion than her expression. “Just don’t touch me please.”
You’re so confused and hurt by your girlfriend's outburst. “Fine!” Your words are louder than you had intended them to be but you don’t really care. You get up and walk out of the room. You don’t know where you are going but you just put on your shoes and walk out the door.
It’s only a few minutes later before Kate gets up and goes looking for you knowing that she needs to explain to you why she stopped you. But panic takes over when she realizes you're not there anymore. Your shoes and keys are gone from beside the door. She quickly throws on her boots and runs out the door.
It’s dark out and the air is damp as you walk along the eerily quiet streets. You don’t know how you walk but the hurt doesn’t seem to leave you. You never thought you were good enough for Kate and this just solidifies your spiraling thoughts. That you will never be good enough for her.
Your face scrunches when you feel cold water drop down on your face. You look up as the sky fills with little droplets of water. The rain starts to fall down steadily making you let out a groan. You already feel terrible and now this. You accept your fate as you sit down on the bench a few steps behind you. Letting the cold rain soak into your skin as your fight with Kate swirls in your mind. You dropped everything to be with Kate and now she doesn’t want you. You’re alone and cold.
Kate begins to panic more when the rain begins to fall. The storm clouds above let's all the held water fall down. She doesn’t know where you went and now it’s raining. All she wants is for you to be back in her arms, to explain everything. She wants you to understand just how much she loves you and that will never change in her eyes. So she runs looking wherever she can to find you. How could you have gone so far in so little time.
You don’t know how long you sit there for, until you hear your name being called while Kate is running up to you. She pulls you up and hugs you tightly. She pulls you back a little to look you over. “I was so worried.” Kate has tears in her eyes.
“What does it matter, Kathrine.” It stung when you used her full name.
“Oh Y/n/n, come on, don't be like that, please. Just come back with me, we can have a bath together and I'll explain myself.” Kate tries and you want to say no but she's giving puppy eyes.
Kate tries to hold your hand, but you pull it back and cross your arms. You follow behind her, still hurt and salty. You're both dripping wet when you both get inside.
Kate starts the bath and goes to help you undress. “I can do it myself.” You snap. Kate pulls back, mumbling out an okay before turning away to undress herself. When you're done pulling off your wet clothes, you step into the warm bath. Sinking into it, you let out a moan as the warmth elopes you. Kate stands there bouncing on the balls of her feet unsure now if she should join you.
“Are you just gonna stand there?” You ask feeling awkward now that Kate was second guessing if she should join you. She cautiously steps into the bath in front of you. Sinking down and sitting in front of you.
Kate looks down and plays with her fingers. “I'm sorry.” She mumbles. You've never seen her so reserved which makes you feel bad for being so mad.
You chew on your lip, taking in a deep breath. “I just... did I do something wrong? Do...do you not want me, Kate? I just...I wanna make you feel just as good as you make me feel.”
Kate reaches out, brushing your tears away. “Baby, it absolutely is not that. You do make me feel good, better than I've ever felt.” Kate cups your cheek, a soft smile on her face.
You look into her eyes, tears still shining. “Then why?”
Kate takes a deep breath trying to gather her thoughts. “Princess I get off just from watching you. I don't need it and I don't particularly like it either. It's nothing to do with you. I am more than satisfied.”
You look at her mulling over her words. “S-so you're um what's it called.”
Kate smiles. “Stone top. Yes.”
“Ohhhhh.” You think for a moment, brow furrowing. “S-so you don't like hate me? Or think I'm disgusting? Or–” Kate cuts you off, pulling you into a deep kiss. You whimper into it before melting into her.
“I think you are the most amazing girl in the whole world.” Kate beatles against your lips.
You lean your body into hers. “I don't deserve you.” You mumble.
“Don't ever say that princess. I don't know what I would do without you. The day I saw you my life changed for the better.” You want to touch her, but you hesitate. Your hands hovering, almost ghosting over her skin. “Go ahead, princess.” Your head shoots up, eyes meeting hers.
You lean more into her and lay your head on her chest as you let yourself lazily draw patterns on her chest, letting your fingers drift down slowly.
Kate let's out a soft noise. Softer than you've ever heard out of your girlfriend. You lay your head on her chest, taking a deep breathing, letting your hand fall, brushing past her nipple. You feel as her breath quickens slightly at the sensation. You trace your fingers around her nipple waiting to see if she stops you. She lets out a shuttered breath. You smile, letting your thumb brush across her now hardened nipple
“Is this ok baby?” You ask, actually stopping what you're doing. She lets out a soft moan. You look up at her and you pull her down to kiss her. You still tease her nipple as you swallow her whimpers. You keep teasing, seeing how far you can push her as you roll her pebbled nipple between your fingers. She finally grabs your wrist, pulling both behind your back.
“You're playing a dangerous game, princess.” Kate husks against the shell of your ear.
You gasp. “What are you going to do Daddy? Hmmm, punish me.” You tease her knowing that you hadn't actually done anything to warrant one but just want to press her buttons a little.
Kate is quick to stand lifting you up with her. Not caring about leaving a wet trail behind you both.
“I'm not going to punish you princess but I'm going to make sure you can't walk tomorrow.”
Shivering at her words.You cling tight to her. “Oh will you Daddy?” You try to sound tough, but you know that she knows.
Kate tosses you on the bed, making you squeak before crawling to hover over you. “Oh princess, I'm going to use my biggest strap. You know that new one special one we just got. I'm going to slit that pretty little pussy open.” She growls and kisses you harshly.
You feel your body heat up at the mention of the new strap. A thick purple one that was cum filled. A whimper leaving you. “Please Daddy I've been wanting to get to use it!' You started begging already forgetting about what happened earlier.
Kate chuckles at your neediness. “Look at you begging Daddy to fuck you. You want me to stretch that pretty little pussy around my big strap hmm.”
You whine at the thought. “Please.” Kate leans down, giving you a kiss before leaving to go grab the strap. Coming out, and the moment you see her, you clench around nothing. “Fuck...Daddy…” She smirks as she gets closer to you.
“Tell Daddy exactly what you want, Princess.” Kate is cocky knowing she has you right where she wants you.
You squirm as you look at the large size. “Wa-want Daddy to fuck me.”
Kate gives you a faux pout. “Princess, you need to tell me how. You want Daddy to shove that pretty face into the pillows as I fuck you from behind.” You clench at the thought and nod. “Words princess.” She reminds you.
A whine coming out of your throat. “Please Daddy want you to fuck me from behind and push me into the pillows. Want to scream so loud for you the pillows don't muffle it. Please.” You see her eyes dilate at your words. Light blues become dark like a storm.
You watch as Kate’s calm demeanor turns to feral. “Hands and knees princess.” She growls out. You barely have time to get into the position before Kate is behind you. “Fuck I can't wait to ruin you.” Her hands caress your hips. You instantly want to fall apart for her. Do exactly as she asks. Your pleasure is hers and hers is yours. You feel her slowly push through your folds, getting herself all slicked up before you feel the tip at your entrance. You shiver and whimper.
“Please Daddy...please…” Kate slowly pushes her hips forward. Your walls stretch to accommodate her large size. Though the stretch is slightly painful, it feels so good. Your arms are already wobbly the further she pushes in. You're already panting from it all. Already so overwhelming. Her hand goes on the back of your head, grabbing your hair as she starts thrusting, setting a brutal pace that has your head spinning.
“Fuck you always feel so good taking my cock like a good little slut. You're Daddy's slut, aren't you?” Kate grunts with every thrust of her hips.
You moan loudly as words fail you. Your brain instantly turning to mush as she fucks you.
When you don't answer Kate stops. She wraps her hand around your throat and pulls you back against her chest and whispers in your ear. “Daddy asked you a question princess. Are you Daddy's slut?” You whimper.
“Mmm I-I Da-Daddy's little sl-slut.” Kate lets go of your neck and pushes your face down into the pillow.
“Good girl.” Kate grunts as she picks the pace back up.
You moan loudly, what else are you supposed to do because words aren't an option. “Ah...ah...ah…” It's the only thing coming out, but you're practically screaming as she hits your spot just right.
Kate is panting above you as your walls suck her in. She reaches down between your legs, finding your clit and circling her fingers around. You can't help the scream that escapes your lips. Your body is trembling under her as you're so close to falling over the edge.
“Ah...Daddy...fuck fuck please...I'm gonna...gonna cum!” You hear the chuckle the rumbles out of her.
“You want to cum all over Daddy's cock? Hm?” Kate asks and suddenly you're shy again. Just like always though Kate secretly hoped you'd never stop being like this with her.
“Please Daddy let me cum on your cock.” Kate lets out a satisfied hum before pulling you up against her and whispering in your ear.
“Do you want Daddy to fill you up princess?” Kate’s thrusts are still hitting you perfectly deep inside that your legs are trembling. You're so close to falling over the edge.
You whine and nod so desperately. “Pl-please daddy want your cum.” It comes out as a whimper, but your words satisfy the drummer.
“Cum on my cock princess, Daddy's going to fill you nice and full.” That's all it takes as your eyes roll back in your head and you cum harder than you ever have in your life. Your walls desperately sucking Kate’s cock further in as she continues to pound into you.
As you ride out your high, Kate's powerful thrusts down slow as she finally releases the cum deep inside of you. The added feeling of being filled causes another smaller orgasm to rip through you. “A-Ah fuck Daddy.” Your moans are loud, bouncing off the walls.
You think Kate will slow down now that she has filled you up but she doesn’t. You let out a small whine and Kate shushes you softly. “Daddy hasn’t cum yet and Daddy promised you princess that you won’t be walking when I’m through with you.” She nibbles on your ear causing you to gasp. “I’m going to keep filling this pretty little pussy till you're dripping with my sweet sweet cum.”
By the end of the night you have lost count on how many times that you have cum and Kate has even lost count of how many times she has. Your bodies now in a tangled mess of limbs as your body lays on top of your girlfriends. Kate insists that the strap stays buried deep inside you. A promise to wake you up close to another orgasm. You’re slowly drifting off to sleep when you feel lips pressed to your head and a whispered I love you from Kate. You’re so exhausted that you slur out an unfinished I love you to Kate as sleep takes over.
#syd speaks#kate bishop fic#kate bishop fanfiction#kate bishop smut#kate bishop fanfic#kate x reader#kate x y/n#kate bishop#kate bishop x reader smut#kate bishop x female reader#kate bishop x y/n#kate bishop x reader#drummer!kate#fan!reader
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Kiss Me - Jack Hughes
Being with Jack was always like a fresh breath of air. Never was there a moment where we weren’t giggling and laughing over the most ridiculous things. Everything was always so smiley, it’s kinda why being with Jack was always so special to me; until I remember he’s my twin brothers best friend. Jack would never be anything more to me than my brothers best friend. Case would never allow it for sure.
So I thought…
“Hey lil mac, how’s it going?” Jack says walking into my room. “Case is out back with Trev.” Jack chuckles, “I wasn’t gonna ask about him, but great to know.” I set my book down on my blanket, “What were you gonna ask about then? You never just come in my room to talk unless Case isn’t home, and well, Case is home.”
“Who said i didn’t wanna talk to you even while Mac is home?” Jack picks my book up and starts looking over at the back. “Since when do you enjoy reading, give me my book back.” I say, taking my book out of his hands. “Ouch. I guess there’s a lot you don’t know about me Lex.” I put my bookmark in my book and close it, gently setting it down on my nightstand.
Before I could get a word out, Case runs in my room giggling,Trevor following behind him. Case jumps on my bed, landing right on top of me. “Ew! You stink! Get off my bed Case!” Case just chuckles. “It’s not funny, I will push you off. You have five seconds to get up.”
Case gets up, “Come on Hughesy, we gotta head out soon. Marshall and Danny are waiting for us at the rink.” Case walks out of my room, Trevor following him like a lost puppy. “I guess I gotta go.” I lay back on my pillows, “yeah, I guess so.”
“I’ll call you later lil mac, and ps, maybe this time, answer the phone.” He pats my head and walks out. I grab my book and try to finish what I was reading before, but all I could think about is why he wanted to talk.
—
Later that night, I finished up some last minute homework before I could head to bed. I finish packing my bag for school tomorrow and my phone lights up, with Jacks name on the screen. I sit there thinking if I should answer or not, why would he even wanna talk to me anyways. I mean he does call and text a lot but I’m always dry with him and I don’t try to keep a conversation.
I let myself just have the win of my feelings take over and I answer the call. “I feel like I just won the lottery.” Jack says, very tiredly. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Jack chuckles, “lil mac finally answers one of my calls.”
“Well, make this quick, I wanna go to sleep.” Jack goes quiet for a moment, “Jack, I really gotta head to bed. I have an ap history test tomorrow.”
“okay, goodnight beautiful.” Jack hangs up before I could say anything. My heart drops to my stomach and all I could think about was his voice repeating that over and over again in my head.
I lay down in bed and try everything to get it off my mind, but nothing sounded as good as hearing him call me that. I close my eyes and relax and I was out.
—
My alarm is one of the worst things to wake up to. I hate the noise of it. I turn it off and give myself time to wake up, I sit up and check my phone. Nothing much to really check because I hate having social media but got it to see my families posts.
I turn on some music and I start to get ready. I get one of my jeans out with a sweater to go with it. I put my hair in a low messy bun. I was never big on makeup, I did put on mascara on every now and then but I have gotten used to not putting it on at all. I put some lip gloss on and headed downstairs.
All my brothers were sitting at the table eating breakfast. “Morning boys, morning Gav.” I say, giving Gavin a kiss on the head. “How come Gavin gets a special good morning and Case and I get a lame one?” Aiden gets up from the table, I take his spot. “I actually like Gavin.” Gavin smiles in response.
“Come on Lexi! We gotta go, I gotta pick up Jack!” Case yells to me, walking out of the door. My heart drops at Jacks name. I grab my bag and put my shoes on, “I’ll make cookies with you guys after school if you ask mom go get the stuff.” I tell Aiden and Gavin, they both nod.
—
We get to Jacks house and he walks out. He’s wearing gray sweatpants and an ntdp hoodie, his hair being a bit messy, but I always found that adorable. He gets in the front seat and looks back at me. “Morning lil mac.”
“Morning.” I say quietly, putting my face back down in my phone. Thank gosh the school isn’t far from Jacks house.
—
We get to school and i quickly get my stuff out of the car and walk to the building. I head to my locker and get my history books out and my notes to help study for the test. As I’m shutting my locker, I see a familiar face standing right next to me. “Can I help you?”
Jack rubs the back of his neck, “I wanted to apologize for last night.” I look over at him, “what is there to apologize for?” He gives me a confused look.
“Jack, your my brothers best friend, he’d kill me if I ever once said anything about having a crush on you.” I state, walking away. Jack walks with me, “so you admit it, you do like me?”
“Never said that.” I put my book to the side. “Well then, do you?” I stop and turn and look at him. “It doesn’t matter if I do or don’t Jack. Like I said, you’re my brothers best friend. I can’t do that to him. He’s my twin brother.” Before I could walk away, Jack grabs my arm.
“It does matter Lex, I already talked to Case. He trusts me. Why do you think he lets me come over so much and be around you?” I start thinking of all the times Case never got mad at Jack for hanging out with me and not him.
“I like you a lot Lexi. I wouldn’t be trying to do anything about it if I didn’t.” He grabs my hand. “So kiss me.” I say walking closer to him. “What?” Jack says softly.
“If you like me and Case is okay with it, kiss me to prove it because I don’t believe you.” Jack stands there and looks around. “Exactly.” I say, letting go of his hand and walking away. “Wait! Lex come here.”
Jack pulls me in and kisses me. “I don’t wanna mess up okay. I call you every night because you are my last thought before I go to bed. You’re the last person I want to talk to before I go to bed. I got scared last night and hung up because I didn’t mean to call you beautiful out loud. It just slipped out.”
Before I could reply to Jack, Case and Marshall appear out of the corner. “About damn time!” Case yells. “I’ve been waiting for this for months. Only took a couple pep talks!” Case pats Jack on his back. “Yeah yeah whatever Mac.”
The bell rings, Case and Marshall head the opposite way of Jack and I. Jack holds my hand, “you’ll do good on your test. You’re really smart.” I try to hold back my smile but being called smart is one of my favorite things.
He walks me to my class and before I go to walk in, he kisses the side of my cheek. “Good luck beautiful.”
I walk in class looking like a tomato with how red my face is from smiling.
—
Sorry I haven’t posted in so long, I was visiting family back home and haven’t really been on any social media. I wanna write more for Jack but I have like no ideas but I’m gonna try to post a lot more with holiday themed stuff so if you have requests feel free to send them in!
Credit to gif maker!!
(Also for the people that don’t know, Cases nickname is Mac so that’s why Lexi is named lil mac 😭)
#jack hughes#jack hughes imagine#jack hughes blurb#jack hughes x reader#jack hughes fic#trevor zegras#jack hughes ntdp#luke hughes#quinn hughes#case mccarthy#hockey#nico hischer x reader#nico hischier blurb#nico hischier smut#nico hischier#new jersey devils
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What the heck, I'll also answer these with Sammy because I've been feeling edgy as hell lately.
Last one with this gal, for real this time. The unwilling vampire-turned-vampire hunter, Sammy
vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv
1. Excluding murder, what's the worst thing you've done?
SM: Considering the idea of giving in to the thirst at all.
2. Have you ever killed someone?
SM: Not someone, something. They're not people.
3. Have you ever killed a friend/family member/loved one?
SM: No. This question makes me incredibly angry.
4. What appears in your darkest nightmares?
SM: Blood that isn't my own.
5. What is your moral code?
SM: Protect the natural, kill the unnatural. Simple as.
6. Would you make a deal with the devil?
SM: Not even if it offered me salvation. I've killed demons. I know how that goes.
7. How far are you willing to go to get what you want?
SM: Far enough.
8. Would you consider yourself as evil?
SM: By virtue of my condition, yes.
9. Do you enjoy watching others suffer?
SM: I can't feel joy. But watching them squirm like the parasites they are as I send them straight to hell is... cathartic.
10. Have you ever tortured someone?
SM: Something. More than once. And I'll do it again. Until I inflict as much pain on them as they did to me.
11. If you were arrested, what would the charges be?
SM: Theft. Don't ask.
12. Who do you hate the most?
SM: ...Myself.
13. What is your "villain song"?
OOC: She doesn't really have one, but I tend to listen to Devils Never Cry when I draw her. Maybe Bring Me To Life by Evanescence? That's a certified Edge™️ classic.
14. If you draw: Draw your OC's darkest moment or reimagine them as a demon!
OOC:
Not really her darkest moment, but,
'Sammy looked ahead at the man who had once been her token of admiration.
A man of good, of kindness and sincerity. Who had once guided them into the right path.
Who'd once walked into her home not as a friend, nor as a figure of authority, but as family.
An equal. To her father, a brother. And to her mother, a cousin.
He stood there quietly, illuminated by the bright moonlight coming through the church's windows as he calmly straightened the creases of his vestment.
Staring coldly at the beaten and bloodied body of an unconscious Silver.
It had happened so quickly, she didn't even have time to react.
Before she knew it, she'd been slammed into the ground with enough force to shatter her spine.
It only took one or two seconds after that for her friend to follow suit and be reduced to a wheezing mess.
And she was powerless to do anything about it. As it always was. Forced to listen to the shrieks of pain of another victim while her wakened body tried its best to repair itself with what little blood she had left in her.
It angered her.
But what angered her the most was the unfeeling expression that bloodsucking bastard had all throughout.
It angered her so, so much.
"Now," the man finally spoke, wiping his bloodied hands with a pure white cloth "We can finally talk."
To hell with that, she thought.
"How peculiar" he continued "Those eyes of yours. They rage with the embers of hatred. Is it me that you despise?"
The man walked forward, into the shadows where she lay, matching her piercing stare with his own.
"I wonder why?" He calmly mused.
And then he placed a foot on her left arm. Pushing slowly, steadily, watching the skin tear apart and the bone splinter with a grotesque sound.
Of course, she didn't feel any of it. They both knew she couldn't. And to her, that was the worst punishment he could've given her.
"You were always quite fiery. The way you'd listen to the sermons, pay attention in Sunday school. That passion had always set you aside. And yet, it has also led you astray."
Then he did the same with her right arm, making sure to drag his sole on her mutilated limb with apathy.
"Holding to the remnants of your past. Hoping that they will keep you warm" he said, dropping the stained cloth on her pooling blood "I just can't understand why."
That got a grunt out of her.
"Why would the Father choose someone like you? Who so fervently seeks to reject his gift? His ideals? His goals?" He said while running a finger on his rosary "Someone so... immature--"
"Shut the fuck up already" she spat, voice coarse and breathy.
The man simply sighed in response.
"Of course. You're still young. I often forget that" he lamented quietly "Children learn by imitation, not comprehension."
Then he signaled back to Silver's unconscious form.
"That boy over there. You both act really similarly. Perhaps he was the one to influence you in this way?"
"Lay another finger on him..." she barked coldly, yet it did nothing to deter the pastor.
"And what?" He scoffed. Even though he couldn't express emotion, he sounded almost indignant "You are at the edge of your mortality, just like him. It would do you no good to continue your empty intimidations. After all..."
He turned around, giving her an uncaring glance as he walked back towards the boy.
"...You don't actually care what happens to him anyway, do you?"
"Go to hell."
The man knelt besides her sleeping companion, seemingly unfazed by the myriad of insults and threats that she continued to throw at him.
"You can stop pretending now" he stated matter-of-factly.
But that only fueled her anger further.
"You don't know fuck about me. Don't try to act like--"
"All of this... attitude. This rebellious phase." He interrupted her "Playing pretend with these... animals. Like they're not food to be consumed. Like you have the strength to make things right. Clinging on to something that you're not anymore. Of a world that isn't there, and a me that never was, when in reality, you can't even get yourself to feel anything about them. For them. Stop pretending, Samantha."
She bared her teeth at him. Bloodied gums and sharpened fangs gleamed under the dim light, being reflected into his unchanging pupils. Defiant, yet slightly wavering.
He sighed.
"I have now come to terms with the fact that I can't make you understand. It is simply not my place to do as a father should" he said, standing up with that same unapologetic attitude that crept into her very nerves "But it is in my hands to set an example."
"If you fucking dare--"
"Relax" the man ordered, sending a shockwave through her core with his voice "That would be counter-productive. This child... is still yet useful. Both of them are."
Her mind wandered back to Johnny, and her eye twitched slightly at the realization that she'd completely forgotten about him in her rampage.
Wherever he'd run off to, hopefully he had managed to escape. The kid was smart enough to know when to turn tail and run.
How ironic, that the same thing she'd criticized him for was the culmination of both his salvation and her damnation.
Now wasn't the time to be reminiscing about that, though. With any luck, the pastor would be oblivious to her thoughts on the matter.
"But this... thing you three do, playing with toys while thinking you're some sort of heroes" he interjected, calmly walking back to her for the last time "It must be put an end to. For your own good."
"Fuck you, pendejo de mierda."
"I no longer expect you to understand, as I said. It is not my duty to act as a father would" he said with a sigh, kneeling before her "But as the elder sibling, I must set a good example."
She was about to tell him to go fuck himself with that family bullshit, when a metallic object suddenly came in contact with the roof of her mouth.
The hammer of Silver's .50 caliber revolver clicked into place with a small sound as the pastor once again got to speak in her place.
"As such, please watch and learn as I provide the appropriate punishment for such behavior, in place of the Father."
The last thing she could to was throw him one final spiteful glance before his finger came in contact with the trigger.
Bang! The sound of the first bullet reverberated in her mouth.
Bang! The second one pulsated deeply within her veins.
Bang! The third echoed through her lungs.
Bang! The fourth rippled through her milky eyeballs.
Bang! The fifth ringed far into the distance.
By the time she came to, what remained was only but the shattered pieces of the one person that she'd been desperately clinging to.'
OOC: But it's okay. She'll heal it off.
Dark OC Asks
Excluding murder, what is the worst thing your OC has ever done?
Has your OC ever killed someone?
Has your OC killed a friend/family member/loved one?
What appears in your OC's darkest nightmares?
What is your OC's moral code?
Would your OC make a deal with the devil?
How far is your OC willing to go to get what they want?
Would your OC consider themself evil?
Would you consider your OC evil?
Does your OC enjoy watching others suffer?
Has your OC ever tortured someone?
If your OC was arrested, what would the charges be?
Who does your OC hate the most?
What is your OC's "villain song"?
If you draw: draw your OC's darkest moment or reimagine your OC as a demon. If you don't draw: find a picrew or write a description instead!
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Bad End: Century Demons
The steam engine blasted vapor into the air. Cacophonous chatter from the crowds all around us, pressing like a physical weight. I truely did hate traveling. Granted, there was nothing for it, we were needed. Being their Majesty's Special Task Force and all. But STILL! Awful. Just, awful!
It was the pushing, really. The constant shoving. Flashs of insight into lives I wanted nothing to do with. That individual? Marriage was collapsing. This one? Had debts. The girl who just stepped on my foot, thought she was in love, but honestly? Any adult could tell you how badly it was going to end. He was using her.
Frankly, I wish we could walk. At this point? I would honestly take a flipping DONKEY! But nooooo! What has my husband decided to do? "Let's take the TRAIN, darling! It'll be an ADVENTURE! Save so much TIME!"
He's lucky I married him AT ALL. Fuck. I HAD options! Could have been a Baron's wife. Well-to-do! But NO, I wanted to HELP people. Like a FOOL. Gods, my mother was RIGHT! Cute air-heads WOULD be the death of-!
I finally spot Arthur, the sweet idiot, looking lost by our baggage. Map in hand. Like a confused puppy told to do arithmetic or be scolded, his anxiety is palpable. I gather my skirts and shove. Fuck being polite. Everyone ELSE seems to be fine, being stampeding herd animals. Why not I? Move!
"O-Oh thank goodness! Darling!" Arthur gasps, nearly dropping the map as he reaches for me as I get close. His eye are wide and his expression frazzled. Tone as though someone has been compressing his chest. "There are-! There are so many PATHS! I didn't-! And I-! Oh dear. W-what do we do? Darling, I can't-! It's so-!"
Damn it! I KNEW this would happen! This was an awful idea! Reaching for my husband's face, I cup his cheeks, propriety be damned. Pull him close to press his forhead against mine. Match my breath, dear. Focus, darling, just... focus. Close your eyes. You do not See. Curse crowded places and what they do to us. We should have moved to the countryside years ago.
But no, no Arthur would never leave his Sister. And I'll not leave him behind. Damn it all, why? WHY?
Why did she have to pick the Nobility Route?
It was bad enough, remembering this world "wasn't real". That it had a "plot" for Gods sake. Bad ENOUGH to realize that the monster under the bed very much WERE a real and present threat, that I SHOULD be concerned about. But fool that I am? Did I HAVE to fall in love with the Protagonist's brother? Sweet and foolish? A simple, if air headed man? Apparently!
All I could do, now, was try to protect him. Try and protect myself.
Ignore the nasty, judging looks, being sent our way. Piss off! The lot of you! I took no vows to YOU. Stood in no church! There us exactly ONE person in the train station I care about, and it is NONE of you, so keep your snide opinions to yourself! Breathe, Arthur. There we go, dear.
Pulling back slightly, I check his eyes. They flick and track things unseen. He is still unusually pale. He... he will be rather disappointed. He was excited to try the trains. To him? They are a bold new technology.
Maybe once we get farther from the city. Here, at least, he is drowning.
Then, a change. Sudden and swiftly building. Whatever Paths my husband traced were disappearing, narrowing, even as terror sweeped across his face. Only twice I had ever seen this before. Once, was an earthquake. The largest seen in over 400 years. The other? A bombing just before the royal wedding, we had been still engaged then. But the way he had frozen? Mid-sentence?
It is BURNED into my mind. Just like the horror that followed.
Bellowing, I command everyone to get out. Evacuate.
NOW.
But already... it is too late. Down the line of the train, terrible symbols flash into being. Molten red metal, on the side of the train cars themselves, instants before the BLOW. Unspeakable shrapnel bombs. Made of people and metal and MAGIC. The train cars lifted from the tracks by the knock back, smashing into fleeing crowds, even as the next car goes off. And then the next. And the next.
A writhing chain of death.
Like the dying spasms if a great snake.
My husband is frozen. No. As I drag him down? I realize with horror, worse. Seizing. It has NEVER been this bad! What is HAPPENING?! What Path is he SEEING that could cause such OVERLOAD? Terrified, I watch as thin trails of blood, seep from his eyes, his nose. Oh Gods. Oh GODS! Arthur? ARTHUR!
Love! Stay with me! Please! D-Darling, Please! Focus on my voice! You have to let them GO! Close your EYES, Arthur! Don't look! Please, DON'T LOOK! It's KILLING YOU!
"That's rather the point."
I stop. From on the ground, where I crawl. Dragging my unresponsive husband to safety. My gaze finally whips around to ahead of us. Amongst the chaos... stands a conductor. Pressed uniform clean and hair entirely too long. His eyes... oh Gods, his EYES. I do not need to touch him to know. That? THAT is not a human.
Not anymore.
Shrapnel flies harmlessly over us, but comes no where near him. As though where he stands is Forbidden to touch. All around him, those fleeing? Suffering? Do not notice him. Do not SEE. Yet, on instinct alone... avoid him.
Because, of course they do. B-because that?
That Is A Demon.
We weren't even remotely prepared for this. And even if we WERE. Everything is packed away. Pressed to the floor, all I can do? Is drag my husband close. Feel tear begin to fill my eyes and choke my throat, as I curse the Gods. Damn it. D-Damn it! I drag Arthur under me. A-as though... as though we were just... just resting at home. Cuddling, as we so often do.
I-It will be okay, darling. Come back to me. Arthur... Please...
(We promised to go together...)
"He really is useless, isn't he? Can't protect you. Couldn't warn you. Can't even die, where he's supposed to be. Really, how hard is it? To just get on the damned train? Quite inconsiderate, your worthless lump of a first husband. It really won't be hard, no doubt, to surpass him in every way."
I drag Arthur closer. Cradling his head to me chest. You'll have to go through ME, you fucking monster! It's.. it's a laughable defense. I'm tissue paper. We both are. With out supplies and the proper anti-demonics? H-he's going to SHRED us. But... but! I took a VOW.
Married this man.
I... I love him.
Even if he's not awake. Even if he's trapped in his own gifts by this BASTARD of a Demon. That's.. That's okay. I'm still here. W-We're still together. And I love him. Silly, ridiculous, air-headed fool that he is. My quite scholar. M-My best friend. I glare at the damnable creature before us.
"You really do have such lovely eyes." It notes, tilting it's head. "Does he appreciate them? Somehow, I doubt it. He makes you live in squalor, after all. Dresses you in rags and works you like an animal. You were meant for so much... more. I can feel it."
With a boneless grace he squats, bringing him closer even as I try to drag us away, he reaches out. One hand both perfectly human yet tipped with claws. In the distance, I hear doors being forced open. Commanding voices. Prayers and the glimpses of shining light. The Paladins are here.
Too late... I... I fear it is too late.
Demon skin touchs my face and I scream, as I am cast beneath the waves. It is so dark. Oh Gods. OH GODS. IT IS SO DARK. HELP ME. HELP ME! IT HURTS! It HuRtS! HELP M-!
"Shhh, drink deep and sink down, Love. I will be there to catch you. Forget about him. Forget about everything. You are made for so much more. We were meant to be together. Just let go, sweet."
"Just let go..."
#threepandas#yandere#yandere x reader#yanblr#reader insert#yanderecore#yandere otome#demonic yandere#married reader#psychic reader#bad End century demons#bad end century demons au#tw death
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Thinking About Expanding...
One thing I learn from CF convention is the fact that people create their circle of friends mainly from Twitter, because they said in Twt it's very easy to get mutuals and friends, easy to connect, and basically every person use it to an extent - it's pretty much equal in Instagram in usage.
I've been thinking about expanding my connection beyond Tumblr and Instagram, because... why limit myself ? ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ
But there's this big gate of thinking that in Twt experience it could either be a good place or a hell hole and no in between. In Tumblr I feel safe because it's the home for fandom creations, and I rarely gets judged for what I create in here. But in Twt (and including TikTok in this case), those apps are very judgemental, and it's more open to expressing opinions, both positively and negatively.
Of course, the appropriate reaction to it is either "Don't care about the bad opinions too much!" or "Don't be afraid to post your stuff there!" or "Just block em!"
And yes of course, I've had my fair share of hate messages and death threats (which means nothing to me), and I think I've already heard every insult that has possibly ever created. But again, It makes me feel uneasy (๑﹏๑//). I mean, it already happens, and again, I've had my fair share of those things, but in Twt I think it'll be like opening an even bigger Pandora's Box as it is a very big audience.
Maybe I'm thinking too much of it, maybe it'll happen, maybe it won't. Maybe I'll gain more exposure and more friends, maybe I'll get more negative comments.
Maybe I should just take a leap of faith and get straight on with it.
Anyway, I'm just expressing my thoughts ever since the CF convention! I just feel like it's such a big, BIG gate for me to cross.
Thank you for reading though! Have a nice day *(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭*ଘ
#sleepy's thoughts#Like I wanna have more local friends I guess?#Like they're far more experienced in opening an art shop#gaining experiences#socializing (which I'm hella bad at) HAH#but yeah just a thought#If my will is firm and true#i'll start posting my old stuff on twt#but tumblr will always be my home
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OUR PATHS | 11. dubs in the chat (wc: 1k) cw: mentions of cheating
JAEMIN arrived at your room within five minutes of your request, carrying a handful of your favorite snacks and the little comfort items he’d used with you the last time a storm had kept you up. as he took off his slippers, settled in, and began prepping a quick late-night meal using the dinky hotel kettle, you couldn’t help but feel your heart melt the tiniest bit. not only had he taken you up on your offer to come by, but he’d also remembered exactly what you needed on nights like this.
you both ate the instant ramen he brought over, the two of you sitting on the edge of your bed. the silence between you felt heavy, like there were words piling up but no clear path forward. yet, the ramen was almost too good for midnight, and in its own way, it helped ease the tension. it was hard to admit, even to yourself, but this was exactly what you needed. his quiet, steady presence and his little gestures of thoughtfulness, even after all this time, still made a difference.
after a few moments, you noticed jaemin watching you as you finished your last bites, a pensive look in his eyes. suddenly, he spoke, his voice almost catching, as if the words were slipping out against his own will. “i’m sorry. and i’m sorry it took me so long to say it.”
your eyes widened slightly, not expecting the conversation to start like this—or even tonight at all. you tried to brush it off, hoping to avoid the inevitable heartache that you knew this talk would bring. “is this what you’ve been meaning to say the past few days? you already apologized, no?”
jaemin shook his head softly, his gaze still fixed on you. “y/n, you know that’s different... why do you keep trying to push me away?”
you took a deep breath, focusing on the ground, summoning the strength to finally open this door back up. “you really broke my heart, do you know that?”
his voice was quiet but determined. “let me be the one to put it back together, y/n, please. i really am sorry for everything. i’m sorry i didn’t get to show you how much you meant to me when i had the chance.”
a beat of silence passed, and you took a shaky breath. “do you even want to tell me why you left? because you never did. you left without saying goodbye, and that fucking sucked. i wish you would’ve at least broken up with me in person.”
jaemin’s shoulders tensed as he processed your words, his face contorted with regret. “i know. and, god, i am incredibly sorry. i know this is all still confusing and frustrating for you, but you have to know i never stopped loving you. i still love you. i just... i needed to figure things out about myself.” he paused, as if bracing himself, then continued. “a couple of days before i sent that text, i ran into my ex on a work trip.” he laughed bitterly. “it seems like I’m always running into my exes…”
he continued on,”i don’t know if you remember, because i barely mentioned her when we were together, but we were together for a long time, and she cheated on me. our relationship was messy and toxic, and she left me with a lot of trust issues and self-doubt.”
jaemin’s voice faltered briefly, but he continued. “when i saw her, i found out she’d actually signed up for the work event on purpose, just to give me ‘closure.’ but instead of helping, it brought back everything. it was like i was reliving all of it—how we ended, how messed up that relationship was. it made me realize that i hadn’t really dealt with any of it, and that i’d brought all that baggage into what we had. i needed to work through it, but i thought that would hurt you more than just ending it.”
he looked up at you, his eyes pleading. “how could i love you properly if i hated myself so much?”
your voice was barely a whisper. “but why didn’t you just tell me all of that, jaemin? i didn’t want perfect. i wanted you.”
“i know,” he replied, the weight of his guilt clear in his expression. “i shouldn’t have just left without even attempting to have a conversation. but after what she put me through, i didn’t want to put you through the same thing. i didn’t want you to feel like you had to deal with my issues for me. and, knowing you… you would’ve done just that. you would’ve sacrificed your needs and happiness for me, and i’d been in that exact position before. it always ends badly.”
the room fell silent as his words hung in the air. finally, jaemin continued, his voice softer. “i regretted it as soon as i sent that message, though. i tried to reach out, to fix things, but you blocked me on everything. i even tried to see you in person, but… ryujin told me to stay away.”
you let out a small, humorless laugh, shaking your head. “oh god… ryujin… of course.”
he hesitated on his next words, but ultimately pushed through it. “i know it’s not enough to make up for what i did. i know it’s not going to change how much i hurt you. but i need you to know that i really am here, and i’ll do whatever it takes to earn your trust again.”
your eyes locked onto his, the vulnerability in them matching your own. “you hurt me, jaemin. and i don’t know how long it’s going to take for me to get past that.”
he nodded, his gaze dropping. “i get it. and if you want me to back off, i will. but if there’s even a small part of you that wants to give this another try, then… let me prove that i’ve changed.”
after a long moment, you finally whispered, “i’ll forgive you, jaemin.” you lowered your voice even more, “i-i still love you too.” jaemin perked up at that note. “but i need you to really show me that you mean it. prove to me that you love me the way you say you do.”
his eyes softened with a glimmer of hope. “i will. whatever it takes.”
the storm outside continued, but somehow, you felt a little more grounded.
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NOTES | omfg sorry friends i've been so busy but mayhaps this hella long and long awaited chapter is worth it!!!! TAGLIST (open!) | @polarisjisung @tommina @luvv4bby @222low @luluvhs @spideykeyring @dudekiss3r @sunghoonsgfreal @jeonghansshitester @injunnie-lemon @eternallyhyucks @njmluvr @n0hyuck @junviadinho @hyunnies-world @hahaechans @p4tyaraujo @baeseungcheolie @untilthesunrises @lotties-readings @mango-bear @angelicaleex @jungaji @luvvhaechan @lionzyon @y4wnjunz @luvandletter @applejaem @pikibell @keeryverse @botchedbrat @mystverse @t-102 @skzfairies @andyprkmyluv @gomdoleemyson
bold = couldn't tag
#jaemin x reader#jaemin texts#jaemin fluff#jaemin imagines#jaemin smau#jaemin angst#na jaemin x reader#jaemin imagine#jaemin scenarios#na jaemin#jaemin#nct dream#nct dream scenarios#nct dream texts#nct dream x reader#nct dream smau#isa writes ✍️#loml <3#fic: our paths 🐇
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I actually realized this after JC crossed what I believed was the line of no return- in the Burial Mound. Before that point, I didn't actually loathe him, I genuinely thought that it's possible he had his tender moments, it's possible he wasn't always like that, it's possible... blah blah blah.
But when that moment came for me, I realized that I was just deluding myself into trying to like all the characters who WWX was so attached towards. Just because WWX genuinely loves JC doesn't mean JC is a good person in any way. Or that he returns those sentiments.
It was after that I saw all the way JC constantly abused WWX, kept him separated from people who cared about him, tried (and failed) to manipulate WWX into only needing his acknowledgement.
I think the only reason WWX turned actually against LWJ in the first life is because of JC. At first WWX genuinely wanted to stay away from LWJ because he thought LWJ would figure him out in some way or maybe he'd give in and tell him, so he used JC as a crutch to stay away from him. Then, when LWJ came to Yunmeng why did WWX go to JC and say "someone who wants to lock me up?" when it sounded like such an odd and jealous thought?
It was JC. It had to be. He was always scared someone would take WWX away from him and the one who persisted even with WWX wielding demonic cultivation, was LWJ. He used whatever he could to convince WWX that LWJ did not have his best interests at heart.
Was it possible that JC actually believed that? No. Why not? Because I'm pretty sure we and JC saw the exact same thing in the retaking the swords scene of the indoctrination camp. And JC saw it even closer. He accompanied LWJ for 3 whole months while LWJ thought WWX was dead. There's no way LWJ managed to have a hold of his emotions or composure the entire time.
So JC was threatened by how invested LWJ was in WWX. In fact, I think LWJ also saw too much into what JC felt for WWX. The jealousy and anger and inferiority...All of it. So the first opportunity JC got to separate the two- to not allow LWJ to reconnect, to express his intense need to protect WWX- he used it. He was the one who started accusing LWJ first. He was the one who said he hated WWX and he wanted to take him away to Gusu to exorcise him.
LWJ didn't say shit. JC said all that. And WWX was already really exhausted and he really did trust JC. He trusted JC right up until the siege, where his weakness of trusting JC, of letting him and only him, enter the Burial Mounds got everyone under his protection killed.
You know, now that I look back on it, that scene where JC and WWX are running away after the massacre of the Jiang Clan, and then JC strangles WWX in his grief and rage, was one of the first scenes in which we were shown that this guy is...a pretty major red flag.
That's definitely a scene that, reading after knowing everything that happened, made me go yikes, this guy needs help.
Now before anyone comes at me, yes I know perfectly well that he was grief stricken and not in his right mind, and that he and the readers (which is one of the reasons I suppose why the fandom just skips over this) were still reeling from the shock and horror of what had just happened, but still. It's interesting, and a revealing scene (because people are more likely to show their true nature when experiencing intense emotions), and he chose to use WWX as an outlet and strangle him, irrationally blaming him for the tragedy, even though he knew it wasn't really his fault. And I had looked over this because it could be excused as a one time thing, before reading the rest of the novel and realising that he never really grows out of this behaviour. In fact, he grows into it, wields it as a weapon and makes his anger and resentment such an integral part of himself that others define him by it, and stay away from him for exactly this reason.
Just a small scene, but a very good way of showing that when JC experiences any negative emotions, his first instinct is to lash out at others about it, not caring how it hurts them. And this is just one of many other scenes showing the same.
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Guilty Pleasure | Haku Shota
Coming home early to surprise your boyfriend takes a turn when you find out he's got a surprise for you instead…
💜 Pairing: boyfriend!hakushota x reader
💜 Word Count: 2.8k
💜 Genre: Established relationship, smut, pwp, fluff
💜 Rating: 18+
💜 Warnings: Explicit language, mention of masturbation, Shota likes to wear reader's clothes, Shota in a skirt, making out, groping, biting, marking, hair pulling, grinding, explicit sexual content, oral sex (f receiving), scratching, praise, Shota is a good boy™️, multiple orgasms, cum eating, skirt stays on during sex, sub!Shota, needy/whiny Shota, unprotected sex (pls be safe ‼️), riding, crying, choking kink, soft ending as per my brand 🙂↕️
A/N: So this is a surprise gift for my best friend @hakuheartsoul 😘🎉💜 Thank you for never giving up on me even when I give up on myself, both in life and in writing 🥺 There's no one else I would rather be writing with and for and I feel so lucky that not only are you my very best friend but also one of my fave writers ever 🥹 Make sure to go read Skye's fics and support them they literally deserve the world and are such an incredible writer and storyteller 🥰 Not exaggerating when I say their Keeho fic literally changed my life 🙏🏻 And thank you so much to everyone who's been reading my stuff on here and supporting me it means so so much 🥺🩵🩵 Hope you enjoy my debut Shota fic 🫶🏻
Masterlist
You felt nothing short of absolutely giddy as you walked up to your apartment door. You had decided to come home early to surprise your boyfriend with dinner from your favorite takeout place. You hated how the two of you hadn’t been able to spend much time together lately, and you’d been missing him like crazy. You couldn’t wait to finally be able to share a meal together, and then spend the rest of the night hopefully cuddling and watching a movie or playing a game. Or whatever your boyfriend felt like doing. You honestly didn’t care as long as you got to be with him.
You couldn’t help but smile to yourself as you inserted your key and unlocked the door to your shared apartment. You expected to see your boyfriend as soon as you walked in, but the living and dining room both showed zero sign of his presence. You carefully set the food down on your dining table before calling out for your boyfriend, “Sho? Baby, are you home?”
“Y/N? Shit, hang on. Be out in just a second, baby.” he called back from your bedroom.
You just laughed and shook your head, following his voice to your shared room. You were dying of curiosity to know what was keeping him. It briefly crossed your mind that maybe he had been getting himself off, but you had never known him to be shy about you catching him in the act. Usually, he was more than happy for you to walk in because you would either help him out, or you would just watch him and it would spur him on that much more. Heat pooled low in your belly just at the thought.
You slowly poked your head into the open doorway, a gasp slipping out from between your lips at the sight that greeted you. Shota’s eyes went wide, his whole face flushing crimson as he stumbled over to where you were standing.
“Baby, wait, I swear I can explain. I didn’t think you would be home for hours, and fuck, this is so embarrassing.” your boyfriend groaned before pressing his palms to his eyes.
You were immediately reaching for him and gently pulling his hands away from his face. He was blushing so hard, and his eyes looked everywhere but at you. Your heart squeezed in your chest with affection.
“Love,” you said softly, still holding his hands, “why are you embarrassed?”
“You must think this is so weird.” he mumbled, his lips forming a frustrated pout.
“Sho, look at me.”
His eyes reluctantly met your own.
“Baby, I promise, I don’t think it’s weird. You just surprised me a little is all. I had no idea this was something you liked to do.”
It appeared your boyfriend had been raiding your closet as well as your jewelry and makeup while you were at work. You had walked in on him wearing one of your black mini skirts with his black shirt that was sleeveless on one side tucked into the waistband. He also had your black chain choker hanging from his neck, and you recognized some of your eye shadow, eyeliner, and blush adorning his features. Your boyfriend sighed before speaking again, “I just got bored one day and wanted to try on some of your stuff for fun. But then I actually ended up liking how it looked, and, yeah…”
You dropped his hands before cupping his flushed cheeks.
“Sho, I’m not upset. You know that, right?” you asked him as your thumbs lightly stroked over his skin.
“You’re not?” he queried back, and your heart nearly broke at the genuine concern in his voice.
You leaned forward to briefly brush your lips against his own in reassurance.
“No, baby, not at all. I just wasn’t expecting it. I came home to surprise you, but you surprised me instead. It was a nice little surprise too. I like seeing you in my clothes, love.” you murmured against his mouth.
Shota stole another kiss from you, making you giggle.
“You do?” he inquired, and you could feel him smiling.
You let your hands trail down to rest on his hips, bunching up the skirt in your fists. You hummed contentedly, “Yes, Sho. Look so pretty, baby.”
“I’m so happy you’re home. I’ve missed you so much.”
He rested his forehead against yours, and you felt something in your chest loosen. It had been way too long since you’d had him close like this. His fingers were sliding up and down your bare arms, leaving goosebumps in their wake.
“I’ve missed you too, Sho. So fucking much.” you told him before tugging his body flush against you and reconnecting your lips in a much more heated kiss this time.
Shota groaned into your mouth, your tongue easily slipping inside to taste him properly. You could already feel him starting to harden against you, even through your skirt, and it was making you grow wetter by the second. Your boyfriend’s hands were all over you now, greedily brushing over your neck before traveling lower to slip under your shirt. You nipped at his lips when he made a grab for your still covered breasts. His fingers easily slid around to your back to undo the clasp in one fluid motion. You felt him pulling at the bottom of your shirt a moment later.
“Take…off…please…” he whined into your mouth, “Wanna see you…”
You chuckled slightly against his lips before taking a step back to shrug off your blazer.
“Someone’s eager today.” you teased him before lifting your shirt over your head.
Shota let out a soft moan as his dark eyes drank you in. You smirked, holding his gaze while you slowly slid your pants down your legs, leaving you in just your panties that were practically sticking to you at this point.
“Fuck. Baby, are you trying to kill me?” he grumbled while palming himself over the skirt, the sight making you feel borderline feral.
You crossed the space between you, pushing him down onto the bed before settling yourself in his lap. Your boyfriend’s mouth was immediately on you, leaving rough, wet kisses all over your neck and shoulders.
“Sho.” you sighed out, your fingers burying themselves in his long dark locks.
His strong arms wrapped around your back, holding you close as his lips ghosted over the tops of your breasts.
“You’re so beautiful, love.” Shota whispered against your skin, and you involuntarily rolled your hips forward.
He was fully hard now, and he hissed when you brushed against him. The stimulation wasn’t nearly enough with Shota’s skirt and your panties still in the way, but you were quickly forgetting about that when your boyfriend suddenly sucked one of your nipples into the warmth of his mouth.
“Fuuuuuck, Sho.”
His tongue teasingly flicked over your bud, and you jerked in his hold. You could feel Shota smiling as he continued making you squirm in his lap. His hands settled underneath your ass, and before you could even process what was happening, he had flipped you around so that you were now seated on the bed. Your head literally felt like it was spinning as you watched your boyfriend kneel in between your legs, the bottom of his skirt just barely brushing against the floor.
He looked up at you as he leaned forward to drag his tongue from your knee all the way up to your inner thigh, and your hands desperately gripped the sheets on either side of you. Shota pushed your legs further apart, holding them open while he sucked spots of color into your skin.
“Oh my god, Shota.” you moaned, your head falling back slightly.
When you tried to face forward again, something in the background caught your eye. You could see the abandoned dinner still sitting on the table through the open doorway. Your boyfriend clearly didn’t appreciate you getting distracted, his teeth sinking into your thigh to redirect your attention. You yelped, Shota looking back at you mischievously as his tongue soothed over the bite mark.
“Sho, baby, I, fuck, I picked up dinner from our favorite place. Maybe we should pause and eat before it gets cold.” you tried suggesting, but mainly you were just panting out words.
The man between your legs turned his head to look where your attention had been focused just moments before. You got ready to stand up from the bed, but Shota’s hands dug into your thighs harshly, holding you in place. When he looked back at you, there was something truly wicked in his eyes.
“Sho?”
“You don’t have to worry about me, baby. I’m getting ready to eat right now.”
He gave you a knowing look, and you clenched around nothing. His face hovered in front of your covered core, making your legs begin to tremble slightly.
“And fuck, I’m starving.” your boyfriend practically growled out before fully burying his face in the fabric, tonguing at you through the material.
“Fuck!” you cried out, clenching the sheets in a death grip.
He shamelessly sucked on your panties, tongue bumping against your clit and making your breath hitch. You started instinctively grinding against his face, your thin, soaked underwear barely serving as a barrier anymore. Shota finally pulled the garment to the side and put his mouth on you fully, and you jolted above him. Your thighs threatened to close around his head, and you didn’t miss the way the muscles in his arms strained to hold you open for him as his tongue dipped past your folds.
“Fuck, baby, love this cunt.” Shota hummed against you, “Always taste so sweet for me.”
The way his tongue hungrily fucked into you let you know just how much he had been missing you lately. He ate you out like he had something to prove. And whatever it was, he definitely was getting his point across.
Your fingers released the bed sheets, instead finding home in his hair as you held him against you. Shota grunted into your core, his nose brushing against your swollen bud, making your nails scrape against his scalp. Your legs spasmed in his hold, and one of your feet suddenly brushed over the erection straining against your skirt. Your boyfriend moaned between your legs as you pressed your foot against him harder. It was the only way you could reciprocate at the moment, but the way his hips bucked against your touch told you it was definitely having an effect on him.
“Sho, baby, fuck. Always so good for me, love. Such a good fucking boy.” you praised him, and he groaned into your cunt in response.
“Shit. Love being your good boy. Always wanna be good for you, baby.”
He really emphasized his words when his lips wrapped around your clit, making you start to see stars.
“Fuck. Shota. Oh my god.”
You glanced down and could see hand prints starting to form across your skin from how hard he was gripping your thighs. His tongue steadily flicked over your bud, and your hips rolled harshly against his face. The next time your foot applied pressure to his groin, you felt a small wet spot through the skirt. Knowing that you were both equally getting off on this had you moaning obscenely above him.
You were so close, and the moment Shota decided to sneak a peek up at you, his mouth still sucking at your clit, you were fucked. The drunk, fucked out look on his face paired with your makeup smeared underneath his eyes had you coming almost instantly.
Your boyfriend took his time lapping up your release, until you grew too sensitive and pushed his head away. You were still trying to come down from your incredible high as he got to his feet to stand in front of you. You could immediately see the small stained spot on the skirt, his cock tenting the fabric and making you groan at the sight.
Shota was in a total daze as you reached for him to pull him down to claim his mouth. You could taste yourself on his tongue as he weakly licked into your mouth. You tugged his bottom lip with your teeth, “Clothes off, baby. On your back for me. Gonna fuck you, Sho. Gonna make my good boy feel so fucking good.”
Your boyfriend whimpered, and you felt the shiver that ran through him. He clumsily pulled his shirt over his head, and your eyes ogled his muscular torso. He was so hot. And sometimes you couldn’t believe he was all yours.
His hands went to the waistband of your skirt, and before you could stop yourself, your own hands were shooting out to halt his movements. Shota looked down at you with questioning eyes.
“Leave it on.” you instructed simply, but firmly, feeling nearly possessed by the desire coursing through you.
Your boyfriend’s entire face flushed at the command, and you needed him so bad, you could barely stand it. His cheeks got pinker and pinker as he shyly slid his boxers out from under the skirt and down his legs. You were practically salivating as you gestured for him to lay back on the bed. He situated himself, refusing to look at you as your eyes raked down his body.
“Fuck, Sho. You look so perfect like this, baby. So pretty in my clothes, love.”
He finally tried to meet your eyes, the flush on his face immediately spreading down his neck and chest. His cock poked out from underneath the skirt, and he looked painfully hard. You carefully moved to straddle his waist, your hands smoothing over his hips. You dragged a finger up his body to tug at the chain around his neck, and you felt him twitch under you in response.
“You ready for me to fuck you, baby? Make you feel good, Sho Sho.” you cooed, and the use of that particular nickname had your boyfriend letting out a whine underneath you.
“Fuck, please.” came his breathless reply.
You leaned down to kiss him sweetly as you positioned yourself to hover over him. Your hands reached down to lift up the skirt to expose him fully before you started to slowly sink down onto him.
“Fuckfuckfuck.” Shota hissed, his back arching off the bed slightly.
You groaned as you rolled forward, hands fisting the skirt and further bunching up the material.
“Feel so good, baby. So good for me, Sho Sho.” you murmured as you started to ride him in earnest.
Shota’s eyes squeezed shut, turning into a moaning and panting mess underneath you. You switched to grinding on his cock, nice and slow, relishing the feeling of him inside you. Your boyfriend’s eyes fluttered open, and you immediately noticed that they were wet with tears that were threatening to spill over. One of your hands moved to slide under his choker, fingers splayed out over his throat. The moment you gave a slight squeeze, fat tears trailed down his cheeks, making his makeup even more of a mess. But all you could think was that he had never looked so beautiful.
“Are you gonna be my good boy and come for me, Sho Sho?”
He whimpered and nodded his head, fresh tears cascading down his face. You leaned down to kiss the wetness away as you picked up your pace again. Shota’s hands were flailing at his sides, looking for something to help anchor himself. You reached out to intertwine your hands before pinning them down on either side of his head. He desperately fucked up into you as you rode him harder, panting into his mouth as you tried to chase his lips.
The way he was twitching inside you let you know that he was close, and you honestly weren’t far behind him.
“Fuck, love, c-close.” he whined out, chest rising and falling in rapid succession.
“There’s my good boy. Come for me, Sho Sho.” you beckoned sweetly as you peppered kisses all over his face.
He cried out, nails digging into your joined hands. You leaned back to look down at him, and you clenched around him at the way his eyes rolled back when he came inside you. His name fell from your lips as your own orgasm crested over you. You collapsed on top of him immediately after, Shota’s arms slowly winding around your back to hold you close.
“So… I guess you really do…like when I wear your clothes…huh?”
You giggled, nuzzling into his neck and planting a kiss there.
“Baby, next time you wanna play dress up, please let me know. I have lots of ideas. There’s so much you would look good in.”
“Can I try one of your dresses next time?” he asked, voice sounding sleepy.
You moaned softly, “Shota, are you trying to make me feral? Again.”
He laughed underneath you, lips brushing against your hair.
“I love you. Hey, can we go eat? I’m actually hungry now.”
You burst into another fit of giggles.
“You’re just insatiable today, aren’t you? Yes, my love, we can go eat. I love you too, Sho. So, so much.”
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Hey there my sweetest, beloved Vexi ♡
I just wanted to share something personal with you that you can then share with others because I know that they feel the same.
Writing has always been my passion. It's been the one thing that has kept me afloat in my life. Regardless of whether people love my writing or hate it, I would continue for the sake of continuing because it is my life.
But when I rejoined fandom spaces, I was terrified after hearing stories of how the culture had changed significantly. Interaction is lower, and hate has unfortunately always made its home in these communities. Given I share fanfiction solely to share with the aforementioned communities, I found myself afraid that I would get hate messages. I was afraid I wouldn't have a community that would stand up for me if that were to happen. While it would never deter me from what I love, I was scared that friendships and positivity were long dead in this space. Fandom felt lonely.
You know what though? I have met wonderful person after wonderful person. And then I met you too. There you are, getting some of the most horrendous messages I've ever seen sent to another human being, and you continue to push for positivity - smiling and laughing with us about how much you just want to see people happy.
Then you went on to start share some of the wonderful messages you recieved throughout that ordeal, only to begin writing positive affirmations and thoughts for us. Once upon a time, I struggled to accept this sort of positivity, I will admit that. When I was having a rough time, I would often see messages like that as 'hollow' for a lack of better words. I would be angry or bitter that others could think like that when I struggled so much to feel like those words should have meant something to me.
While time has passed since I was that person, I still remember the feeling of hopelessness, yet that doesn't deter from the fact that people like you - and countless others - single handedly restored my faith in these communities.
People like you remind me why I cling to my ideals of treating everyone with kindness no matter what. To try to understand other people. To help others. These are all things that bring us closer together. People like you, @silva-daemonium, @fraugwinska, @macabr3-barbi3, @chrisemrysfics, @melodyonthewireless, @dewdropdinosaur, @xalygatorx, @kewpikayo, @jurijyuu, @jalicecookie, AND SO MANY MORE do so much to support those around you.
All of this came about because I wanted to say thank you for posting those short little messages of encouragment. I know that I have appreciated them. Sure, they might seem a little cheesy to me on a morning when I'm tired - but they really make me smile, and prepare me to tackle whatever the day gives.
You're the beating heart of positivity.
It's a fairytale ending to the horror stories I expected.
I know that other people will see this too, so I just wanted to wish everyone that sees this a relaxing morning, afternoon, evening - timezone in general! You're here, and you've worked hard to be here all this time. Everything you've needed to do to achieve that, you've done. That's huge. I'm so proud of everyone, and my DMs are always open to anyone who might be struggling or just wants to talk. I'll always aim to help my community in the same way that Vexi has demonstrated.
Love to you all, and again, thank you for your messages, Vexi!
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
Cirice, I honestly don’t have the words to fully capture how much your kindness means to me. You are truly one of the most thoughtful, beautiful souls I’ve ever had the honor to meet, and I can’t thank you enough for your words. Knowing that something I’ve done has made even a small impact on people like you is still so surreal to me. I’m just deeply grateful that you’re part of this community.
You and so many others are the reason why I’ve stayed here longer than in any other fandom. It’s been the most heartwarming experience. This community, especially people like you, has genuinely transformed my perspective on what fandoms can be: a space filled with compassion, creativity, and connection.
Thank you for sharing your story, for giving me (and others) a piece of your heart. I hope your words reach others, inspiring them to create, to feel they belong, and to understand how wonderful it is to be part of something like this. Knowing we’re all here together, finding meaning in these connections, it makes the world feel a little less lonely and a lot brighter. 💖
Also tagging the people that didn't get properly tagged because tumblr is broken: @dewdropdinosaur @xalygatorx @kewpikayo @jurijyuu @jailcecookie
#redvexillum answers#positivity#i love this so much#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel fandom#pp#poisonpositivity inside joke#i love you cirice#Vexi throws love punches
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I'm roasting myself 😭
Pisces in the 4th House: Oh, look at you, always yearning for deep emotional connections, like you’re trying to create a spa retreat in your living room. How’s that working out? Still waiting for your “soul family” to show up? Meanwhile, you’re probably sitting there watching "The Notebook" and wondering why your group chat doesn’t have those cute inside jokes. Maybe because you're busy trying to merge with everyone’s feelings like a walking emotional sponge.
Gemini in the 7th House: You probably can’t commit to a single thought for more than 15 seconds, let alone a relationship. "I love you... but let's talk about this podcast first!" You’re the friend who, mid-conversation, wonders if you’re supposed to be hanging out or reading about the latest conspiracy theory. Seriously, stop switching personalities every time you meet someone new. You’re not auditioning for a role in "The Real Housewives of Overthinking."
Libra in the 11th House: You want everyone to get along, huh? The world’s not a Pinterest board, sweetie. I bet you’re the person who tries to keep the peace at parties and then somehow ends up hating everyone, including yourself. You probably judge every group chat emoji choice and feel personally offended if someone uses Comic Sans. Just admit it—you’re more interested in making everything look perfect than actually being part of anything real.
Lilith in the 3rd House in Aquarius: Oh, the rebellious intellectual, huh? I’m sure your genius insights have really changed the world. Too bad most people can’t hear your revolutionary ideas over your constant need to be “different” for the sake of being different. You think you're the visionary in the group, but let’s face it: you’re just the person who shows up at dinner parties with a new conspiracy theory you found online—and, no, it’s not as clever as you think.
Chiron in Leo: You want to be adored, don’t you? But you’ll never admit it. You’re the one who tries to "hide" the fact that you need constant validation, yet you can’t resist fishing for compliments like a catfish on a dating app. Maybe if you stopped trying to be the center of attention for two seconds, someone would actually notice how great you are without needing a spotlight to shine on it.
Moon Square Venus: Your emotional life is like a badly planned romantic comedy. You say you want to be loved, but you also want to keep your emotional distance, which leaves you stuck between making everyone feel like you're the one while also throwing a tantrum when they don’t read your mind. You're like that person who orders an elaborate drink at Starbucks and then complains that the barista didn’t know the exact temperature you like.
Mars in Cancer: You’re the passive-aggressive champion of the zodiac. Why say what you feel when you can silently stew and cook up a whole emotional storm in your head, right? You want to protect everyone, but no one can ever quite tell if you're offering a hug or planning their emotional downfall. Your idea of “assertiveness” is posting a vague meme on social media instead of just speaking up.
Sagittarius Rising: “Let’s go on an adventure!”—but you’ll probably be late, cancel last-minute, or spend the whole time questioning whether you should’ve just stayed home to think about how much better the adventure could’ve been. You’re the person who tries to live like they’re in a travel blog, but can’t even commit to where to eat on a Saturday night.
I'm going to go cry now 😢
#aquarius placements#astrology observations#astrology notes#astrology rants#astrology#cancer placements#sagittarius placements#virgo placements#aries placements#capricorn placements#venus square moon#taurus rising#gemini placements#libra placements#scorpio placements#pisces placements#leo placements
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𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘧𝘵 𝘥𝘢𝘪𝘭𝘺… 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘸?
WARNING: THIS IS JUST A THEORY I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT AND THAT HAS BEEN IN MY HEAD FOR A WHILE, A BELIEF OF MINE! IF YOU THINK DIFFERENT OR DON’T AGREE, PLEASE NO HATE!
do you know when you spend a whole day thinking it was another day?
Like when you think it's wednesday but actually is friday? It always happened to me and before meeting shifting i never understood what it was and why it happened but analyzing it now.. what if we're actually shifting? I’ve seen a lot of people affirming they went to shift and they did to a random reality or a reality that seemed exactly like their cr but with some different details…
To feed this theory, i’ll give myself as an example… i had SURE, today was wednesday, like TOTAL sure! All the time i felt it was wednesday, i even thought i had to wash my hair this evening (cuz wednesday is my wash day)… though it’s monday… and last week i did two methods of shifting during afternoon but i don’t remember the day i did them! I just know it was a week day cuz my mom was working, i fell asleep during both (cuz i hadn’t slept at night so i was rlly tired), nothing happened but and if happened something?!
It’s a crazy theory but that makes sense for me and for a few people! Btw i’m still feeling that today was supposed to be wednesday lol
#shifting community#shifting blog#shiftblr#shifting antis dni#reality shifter#shifting realities#reality shifting#loablr
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can we be each other's company?
summary: on a rainy day in london, jude decides to take advantage of his free day before joining the national team and makes a surprise visit to his friend's house. pairing: jude bellingham × reader a/n: i'm inactive due to college activities :( i hope you like it
no weather forecast warned me about the storm that hit today. but then again, how does a person who lives in london leave the house without an umbrella? i got home soaking wet and very angry with myself.
my mom laughed when she saw me walking past her in the living room "you're going to get sick if you keep getting caught in the rain like that." she reminded me that this wasn't the first rain shower of the week. what a horrible week, i just wanted to never leave the house again and i wish jude was here, he would laugh at me but would hug me afterwards. and i would definitely cry in his arms just because i took a shower in the rain twice in a week.
i threw my things on the floor as soon as i entered my room and almost fainted when i heard a loud male voice in the room. "tough day, beautiful?" jude bellingham was in my room just as i asked in my mind, the heavens heard me. he was standing in front of my window and i ran to hug him. "why didn't you tell me you were coming? does my mother know you're here? why didn't she tell me?" jude was wet "and spoil the surprise?" he smiled "go change your clothes" he said.
i went to the bathroom and changed my clothes at the speed of light. it's been so long since i've seen jude and he's one of my best friends.
when i got back to the room, he was lying on my bed and he motioned for me to lie down next to him. and that's what i did, i lay down there on top of his left arm.
"i missed you, you won't see me play anymore and hardly sends me messages." i turned my face so i could look in his direction. "talk to my college professors and my boss, they are the reason behind it." i said "i was feeling lonely without you." he said "i doubt it, your spanish friends must have stayed with you." i said "not for a second." he replied. "okay then, if you say so."
if my mom opened the bedroom door right now, she'd see us in this position and set off fireworks in here. she keeps saying that jude and i are a couple and that i don't want to admit it.
but i laugh when she says that, who would have thought that he and I could be a couple? well, maybe i imagined it sometimes, in the silence of the night when it's just me and the little voice inside my head. i would like to give jude little kisses and... thinking about it now, we already behave like a couple, there really is just no kissing part.
"shut up" i said mentally before getting out of bed. "i need to record a video with you, record this rare moment" i said as i picked up my phone. jude sat on the bed and i approached him, again.
"after two months, mr. bellingham decided to show his face here." i said as i put my arm around his neck. the player looked at me and his face became expressionless. and suddenly, i was surprised by jude's kiss. i went to heaven and came back. jude bellingham kissed me. not on the cheek or forehead like he usually does, jude's soft lips touched my glossed lips.
"i've been wanting to do this for a while now." he admitted. i put my phone aside and brought our lips together once more. "i'm glad you did." i said.
kissing jude had been in my plans for a long time and apparently kissing my mouth was also in his plans. i was dating when i met jude and he was the person who supported me the most after the breakup, it was there that we practically became best friends. i don't think he approached me with ulterior motives, things just came up over time.
"i think we should try, you know?" he said "i agree" i said "you know i like being with you, i like talking to you, i like hearing you talk and i hate not seeing you for a long time. i wish you could stay like this forever, stuck to me all the time." he vented "we can't just be friends." he admitted and i nodded "couldn't agree with you more, baby jude."
#football imagine#football blurb#football one shot#football x reader#footballer imagine#jude bellingham imagine#jude bellingham x reader#jude bellingham imagines#jude bellingham fluff
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Hiii pretties! Welcome to my blog!! Please keep things positive and stay slutty my friends!!!
~If you have any requests, please feel free to leave it in my inbox!!!~
Masterlist: The Watcher (Part One, Part Two, ...)
you can read the rest if you wanna like know more about me n shit ig
Hello!! I'm Kay, or K, kat, whatever you wanna call me. I'm literally just a girl. I am a freakkkk. I do be a bit of a stoner y'all, and I usually am high when I write, so if I make a mistake, I'm blaming that. I'm from the United States (unfortunately) and I only speak English. This is a safe place; I am always here if anyone wants to talk. I do not discriminate; I do not spread hate. I do not and will not tolerate hate or unkind behavior towards me or others here on my blog. Like seriously guys I have bad anxiety, so please be nice and don't make it harder for me.
This is pretty much solely for Outer Banks, Rafe Cameron to be more specific. But, feel free to talk to me about other things!
Other things I'm interested in/passionate about: Taylor Swift, veterinary medicine, Breaking Bad, Better Call Saul, The Walking Dead, 13 Reasons Why, Supernatural, Jurassic Park/World, Harry Potter, The Maze Runner, The Hunger Games, comedy movies (Seth Rogen & James Franco). I love cold weather, books, and cats. Music is life and I listen to a little bit of everything so feel free to send songs.
I AM a student, so just keep in mind that I may be inactive because I’m in CLASS or doing work; because I will prioritize that over tumblr (well, i try). Other times I’m inactive because I am sleeping, or because I’m busy with LIFE. I am not tied to my tumblr and blog. I’ve had only positive experiences here so far, but I know that fanfic writers are often mistreated by readers, but guys we are all just people.
If you want me to hurry up and publish new work, don't tell me that, just interact with my blog and compliment my writing and that will motivate me more than anything else ever could. Also ASK AND REQUEST PLEASEEE!! I really enjoy and appreciate new ideas and feedback from other people's brains. I also appreciate constructive criticism. Don't be mean about it, but if you dislike or disagree with something, tell me politely. I like hearing feedback and am always working on improving my writing.
Seriously y'all, please please PLEASE do NOT be hateful. Do that on your own time, not here. I will not tolerate unnecessary attitude and hate. I believe in forgiveness, and I know that mistakes and misunderstandings happen. I will treat anyone and everyone with kindness and respect unless I have reason not to (really hoping I don't).
Who do I write for? I only write for Rafe Cameron. However, I'm not opposed to writing a little or sharing thoughts about other Outer Banks Characters!
What do I write? I will write literally almost anything. There’s no such thing as too much for me, so request away please. ------ As for darker topics, I will write them. Actually, a large portion of my work will include darker topics/themes/kinks, etc. I will write sensitive subjects too. But just because I live for that shit, doesn't mean everyone else does so I'll do my best to include warnings on all my work for any content that might potentially be triggering for others.
(Small warning: mentions of my mental struggles and self-destructive habits) I've always struggled mentally. I've always felt as though the way my brain works is different from everyone else; like something is wrong with me. But after many many years, I now have a better understanding of myself and how my brain works. Not to dump this on y'all, I swear I have a point, but I have diagnosed depression, anxiety, and ADHD. These things are all a big challenge I face in my day-to-day life and are often the leading cause of why I may take longer to write and publish things. I may take breaks, so don't worry if I'm not active, I will be back at some point. And I'll try my best to update you guys on when I'm gonna be less active or vice versa. Another way my mental health effects my writing is because when I write, a lot of the time my personal experiences or feelings will end up incorporated within my work, since well, it's all coming from my brain. I mostly write for myself to express my thoughts and feelings, having others read and actually enjoy my work is just an added bonus. But personally, I have struggled with self-harm for about one third of my life. I often get ideas for new works revolving around this theme and may publish things about it eventually. Themes such as mental illnesses, self-harm, abuse, insecurities, EDs, suicidal thoughts, unhealthy relationships (obv), toxic household, etc. will have a reoccurring appearance throughout my works. So just be prepared, I guess.
And like I said before, if anyone needs to talk, I am ALWAYS here and I am a very good listener.
Everyone is more than welcome to message me or leave anything in my inbox. Whether it's to chat, request something, ask something, literally whatever is welcome!! (Except hate I don't fw that)
Thank you for visiting my blog, I hope you enjoy! As always, be kind and stay slutty!
#rafesbabyg1rl#thewatcher#rafe cameron#drew starkey#outer banks#outer banks netflix#rafe cameron x reader#rafe x reader#rafe obx#outer banks fanfiction#outerbanks x reader
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long poem "i hate myself"
literally just pouring out emotion here, bit of a lengthy one i hate myself so deeply within my soul that little girl inside is all i hear the knocking, knocking, knocking the scratching, begging, clawing for some sense of relief relief. what is relief? a sense of calm that lasts temporarily? the quietness that i so desire? does relief come in the form of a pill? can i get it injected into my brain? my veins? can i please just get some sort of fucking answer i am tired i am drained i am e x h a u s t e d fuck, at this point i’ll take that sigh of relief writers write about a sigh is better than the mess my mind is right now as long as i get the silence i need without needing to be asleep. why does my mind never stop racing, rushing, running, wrapping around every single little thought just give. me. a. break. one second of peace is all i yearn for that second of peace will do more for me than any self-help, self- guided, self-studied therapist journal, video, meditation, coping technique has ever done. back to that little girl the one i failed so flawlessly i feel sorry for her she was once filled to the brim with hope and happiness dancer, actress, singer, professional fucking clarinetist all dreams that died. all dreams that were unattainable to start with. and realized quickly. now i stay up until 3 am, screaming and shouting my heart and mind into a keyboard and google docs. everyday is the fucking same wake up: 9:15 work: 10:00 lunch break (if taken): 13:00 get home: 18:00 if motivation is present (typically not): gym: 19:30 if motivation is not present (usual): doom scroll and nap intermittently: 18:00-0:00 shower (sometimes wait until morning): 00:00 journal (in between): 00:30-03:00 hate self with rage and stay in my brain: 00:30-03:00 find time to hate self via google docs poetry: 00:30-03:00 go to bed and repeat every. single. day. all i wish for is one second. just one.
#original poem#poem#poetry#spilled poetry#spilled ink#spilled words#spilled writing#spilled thoughts#poets on tumblr#words words words#poetic#original poetry#poemblr#writers and poets#poems and poetry#poems on tumblr#long poem#writing#writing community#writers on tumblr#writeblr#writerscommunity
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