#thoughts are welcome too tho!
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this PSA is brought to u, by first year farmer ・゚ *✧
#fsds just kidding i love how welcoming robin was too; even offering table with her family during the stardew valley eve#but no red carpet can be more welcoming than local grandma who smells like flowers and cookies and take u as her grandchild from day 1#i thought linus was sketchy at first but then i almost cry because he is the only one drag me back home when i am dying in mine alone#with no one knowing or care where am i#sdv#stardew valley#sdv evelyn#sdv farmer#stardew evelyn#stardew farmer#stardew valley evelyn#stardew valley farmer#fanart#surely it was sketchy at first the way ur money and things are gone#but after knowing linus u get to trust him that he was sincere helping u#it really was like this homeless man cares for me more than anyone in this village#*tho reasonable bcs he's the only one actively foraging for things to live & coincidentally u are one of the thing he found#but i can imagine by the way i was playing; first few months arriving at the valley farmer just keep spending time sitting beside linus#contemplating about life#like second homeless person in the valley#if there's a popularity poll for stardew villagers; evelyn should be top number 1 no discussion#for someone who started stardew valley without any interest of the bachelor/rettes this is how i feel
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I Am Being Held Hostage. Send Help.
w/o text:
#in honor of pride month ending: these fruity mfs <3#they won't leave me alone. i have not thought of anything or anyone else in days#i will be driving later and i expect to get so caught up in Them#that in going 80 down the freeway ill hit a pebble and my car will flip and explode in a brilliant flash of light. killing me instantly.#Joking. driving stresses me out too much to get even mildly distracted#scribble garnish#welcome home#welcome home puppet show#laughingstock#yk a week or so ago i was shipping them somewhat ironically#Not Anymore!!!! Yeehaw!!!#are they considered a rarepair??? im honestly unsure#i think so... ive seen more unprompted julie/wally or poly frank/eddie/howdy#ive seen No unprompted laughingstock#i have seen it featured in One fic#yeah its a rarepair. me and like. three other people will carry it tho its fine#ive got a strong back. allegedly.#Ohhhhh Shit#mr loverman by ricky montgomery just came on and its laughingstock. To Me.#I LOVE THEMMMMMMM
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trio ive been brainrotting about
#toontown#toontown corporate clash#ttcc#spruce campbell#treekiller#chip revvington#chainsaw consultant#flint bonpyre#firestarter#strawglicks art gallery#deforestation guys#i think thatll be my new tag .#for any content involving these fellas interacting#whether its all three or only two of em#so spruce started invading the fuck out of my thoughts#and i welcome him with open arms#but since flint is always on my mind . i had spruce and flint brainrot#and chip just kinda naturally came along too . even tho i dont think abt him a lot#so this trio is living in my brain these days
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There's this type of guy that sometimes will break into broken English (despite that being his first language and sometimes only language) or BABY TALK when they talk to a girl they think is cute, innocent, and submissive. It's probably one of the ickiest things I've ever seen but I feel like there's a skate rat who'd be exactly this sort of stupid.
i just full body shuddered so thank u pls have how the skate rats like to talk to u x
oversimplified/one word sentences: kita, suga, aran, iwaizumi, taichi
patronizing baby talk: mattsun, makki, atsumu, oikawa, tendou, konoha
condescending sarcasm: kunimi, kuroo, suna, akaashi, semi, osamu, tsukki
nonstop barely coherent yapping: hinata, bokuto, goshiki, noya, tanaka
stares at u: aone, kenma, sakusa, kageyama, kindaichi, ushijima
#as per usual lemme know if i forgot someone bc don’t i always#yeah idk what this turned into but it happened#i’m kinda like severely sleep deprived but i haven’t been doing anything to fix that so#LMAO#so far these tags have absolutely fuck all to do w the skate rats ur welcome#i hope one day tho i can start actually doing skate rat other fandoms seriously im just#brain so small thoughts too big#skate rat hq#– miki hcs
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Sooooo, Armand did tamper with Louis memories but my next question is why? I find 'he wanted to manipulate him' a bit crass of a read; lacking. That's not to say he hasn't, or that he'd be so dense to not know that he had, rather that this wouldn't be what motivates him. So, what does, and why did he do it?
Suppose it's easiest to start with the core of it, which is that most anyone typically acts out of a need to cling to (or run from) some sense of self or identity, especially when it's called into question. We have to reckon with how others see us just as much as we have to reckon with how we see ourselves. Grappling with finding relation to the changing and unchanging facts about ourselves - the total amalgamation of what makes us 'us' - comes with an interplay of inner and outer perceptions surrounding everything we do, or seem to do in both these eyes. Armand is called into question by Louis. And from what we know of his character is that his identity is heavily internally clung to two things: A necessity for having control, and a desperate need to be loved.
It's important that how those manifest in him is deeply rooted in the traumas he's faced (Which he wants to run away from in the form of seeking and identifying with said control/love. Even at the expense, knowingly or not, of replicating those cycles). So, it's like he's living in near constant response to it. Leaving him without much else to find identity in.
And loss of identity directly feeds into his traumas as well, it being one of them, done repeatedly. Making the process of having any ambiguity on part of how another views him - particularly from those he cares deeply about the opinions of, especially on matters of love - difficult to accept, and easy to deny. In other words: he needs whatever sustained self image he can hold on to, so struggles identifying with the truth about Louis' feelings about him being so opposed. Upon question, he can't accept what not being loved would do to that image and finds himself seeking the comfort of living in denial.
So, I'd say that then could explain most of it. Being motivated to maintain certain perceptions in the form of tampering with memory: the means through which said perceptions are perceived. Making everyone live in this denial with him also appealing to his controlling. Thus returning this sense of self back to him in both aspects. The emotional wound does explain (not forgive) why he takes to it in the way he does.
But let's go deeper, because there's more to the very situation (1973) as to why. Why would Armand go out of his way to tamper with Louis memory as well, when they'd already reached a kind of conclusion that does appear to keep their companionship? What, to his mind, called for it given the situation?
Harkening back to above, Armand defines himself around Louis in a major way. Louis is his love, is his need to be loved. There's a developed co-dependancy between them. They're at such point both exploiter and exploited in this. His happiness, is Armand's happiness, is reason enough to preserve it in a way that is agreeable. And that agreement is a tricky one to play a balance with, like they honestly shouldn't be together after Paris, but this goes without saying. It's been on Armand, mostly, to make this relationship work. (And even if it was mostly one of a lot of a denial, I like to imagine there are large periods where it has, and they've lived a relatively normal relationship, had this 'dreamy balance' or it simply wouldn't have lasted so long - with or without mind fuckery).
He wants it most too, which is how Louis is able to have some control over Armand. Control in how Louis ability to love him is very conditional and rests a lot on Armand's ability to satisfy, gratify, console, and control Louis for his own protection - despite knowing he'll never make up for Paris he does everything to earn Louis anyway. So could Armand have chosen to do this to be perceived as someone able to earn it still? That's one option. Very plausible.
Louis has a complicated love for Armand, it's there and isn't, but he also can get from Armand whatever he can squeeze out of him, and in this past he takes heavy advantage of it. As Armand is susceptible to his own much greater necessitation to be loved by him, making him go out of his way to do this 'earning'. However, as had been revealed, for Armand this is played up in part to uphold for Louis' perceptions that he really has that much power over him.
Because what we also have to factor in is Armand's other aspect - control. The line, 'Armand preserves my happiness even when I can't or wont. He had a hunch you might prove useful in later times', is rehearsed in much the same way this entire dynamic is one of great rehearsal. It's practiced, or it would be chaos.
There's certainly a part of Armand that likes being in the submissive role too, he likes what comes with it, but he can't be in total service to Louis, and Louis can't be without rules - or there's no control. Rules, roles, scripts, are very important to Armand, they're a way to facilitate a controlled setting, and he's really the one to enforce the parameters of what those are more so than Louis is. See; when Louis breaks from these things of agreement, what Armand normally gives him goes away.
I picture Louis as like the playwright of the relationship - the one facilitating everything - while Armand seems to then stage direct everything about it, sometimes secretly. In this way, Armand places himself as moreso being the one to meet his own satisfaction, gratification, consolation, and control (he has more overall power here in a duel sense) than Louis. Louis own meeting of these things still factor into it, though. Remember; his happiness, is Armands happiness, is his role to maintain so the play will keep writing itself. The curtains would close on their relationship otherwise.
This is the 'balance' of agreement between them, and again, it's entirely likely such balance just could not be maintained were those memories to stay as they were, almost like the jig is up. There's a factor here of Armand probably catching that Louis wouldn’t be comfortable in this relationship knowing more apparently Armand had so much more power over him this whole time. He knew, of course, but in their roles they could forget. This switch up in dynamics over those few days revealed the imbalance of things, a truth about it, and those needed to be masked back up. Theatre.
But let's explore some other ideas too.
I would first repeat myself in more context, Armand tampers with the script for the express purpose of preservation - of its dynamics, its roles, its rules, and of Louis. Nothing has the ability to change if nothing happened and Armand perhaps wanted to go on as if nothing really did - again there's denial. Armand finds reason in preservation to remove those memories. Preservation of Louis is in several ways preservation of himself, is preservation of their companionship. A companionship which is what he defines himself through - his love, his control.
But tacked onto this there's also this protecting Louis from himself - from the knowing of what he did (the arguing, the attempt, and what came after) and why it all happened. This is maybe Armand's way of going about excusing it? But, he probably does think this is to an extent true. He does think he's protecting him with this, preserving his happiness. There's an argument to be made that Louis wouldn't be alive without Armand acting in this way. That, hypothetically, the reminder would be fuel to attempt again, so perhaps there's merit to this excuse. It is ultimately still an excuse though. It's still a fucked up form of protection. One that can't actually allow Louis to move past into healing from the actual causes of things. Or Armand for that matter.
Removing those memories could also be because of a remorse on his part, Armand's regretful role in how he acted during all of it. He doesn't want to be remembered that way. Yet again with identity, and with denial. This isn't the image of who he wants to be. This isn't how he would paint himself.
Armand in this stage director role also just has a tendency to do that - and edit himself out. It'd not be shocking that such a heightened situation would call for heightened dramatics. I don't see Armand taking it to this extreme as being a common thing, this could've been the only time too. That we can't actually say for sure is the terrifying part, the potential is always still there once you know its there. (and the point was never to know it's there).
There's a part of me that wants to say that pairing the 'cut' with Daniel's isn't without it's place in this either. It seems pointed. Armand's jealousy of Daniel over Louis preferring him motivating removing any memory that he ever did have reason to find Daniel so favorable, let alone bond deeper with him over those days. He was making sure further contact was unlikely to happen? Compliant willingness for it now could be a matter of knowing it's a lot safer to do so. Louis seems in a lot better place than he was. Armand can't really say no at this point. And he couldn't tell him why it ever would've been dangerous to begin with, just be extremely on guard about the whole thing.
Really, there's not an easy answer to it that we can point to and say: it's this one. I wouldn't be surprised if it was all these things building to a list of reasons, and more than the one's I've listed. Ends up with more pros than cons? But there could also be hardly calculation at all and it's a purely emotional choice, coming from an emotional place.
A very damaging choice, regardless, among several other damaging choices, and it's one I think can be read with all this nuance without mitigating that. I hope it's been clear I'm not trying to. Intentions don't = impact. Investigation into the intentions doesn't take away from that.
I'm very interested to see how it all plays out, how they handle this on the impact side of things. If they'll actually give more of an answer. Rolin says some interesting things here: x. That alludes to how they're going to address this whole thing about memory - it's monstrous quality - with some of the same nuance I've given. And how a blanket statement on blame, and who did what, isn't where this kind of conversation will end up going.
#UPDATE: Now that the newest episode is out I can remake this post with far more insight. Also I KNEW I shouldn't have take out the theories#They ended up being more right than just what's here#old tags:#this is SUCH a long ass post I'm so sorry#barely a point to all this either except that I'm nothing if not an overthinker#I did have this whole aside about fan theories I agreed with that I deleted tho you're welcome#If you disagree it'd be respectful to make your own post please#adding any thoughts in the tags is fine tho go crazy#interview with the vampire#iwtv#Armand#louis de pointe du lac#daniel molloy#loustat#amc iwtv#armand iwtv#iwtv character analysis#media analysis#character analysis#I could go on about Louis too and maybe make a seperate post about just the relationship but there needs to be more played out still tbh
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This is Herbert West about to experiment on Jeffrey Combs. The concept originally came from @heliojip on here. He hasn't released his image yet though.
I had begun jokingly brainstorming how Jeffrey Combs would react if he was transported into the Reanimator universe and met Herbert. I think he'd escape with his knowledge of how horror movies work and how to act if you wanna be the survivor, and then go eat some keebler fudge magic middles (discontinued). Then Herbert would find him and Jeffrey would have to make up a reason why they look so similar, and he'd tell him that he was his REAL biological dad; the sperm donor to his actually adoptive father. Anyways if you want more of this headcanon tell me, it was fun
#herbert west#jeffrey combs#tell me if i should tag this in any specific way#reanimator#re-animator#tell me your ideas for how theyd interact too if you want#but a contingency in my mind is that jeffrey acts very normal. its a good contrast to herbert and a way to avoid making this weird#unless its already weird. write to me your thoughts!#i used 4 ref images to get this right. im glad i put in the effort#the surgical table doesnt fully follow the ref image but whatever. i still think it looks really good#i shouldve timed myself!! i usually do darn.#i am MOST proud of their faces/facial expressions/likenesses#herb still looks like herb even tho i exaggerated his mouth and nose#just a little but i also wanted to draw relatively realistically#its kinda fun#you have more lines to make a person look like themselves#and of course i love drawing weird perspectives#i also like the lines of the way i drew their hair. especially jeffrey's#dunno how to elaborate on that tho#tell me exactly your thoughts. critique is welcome
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@no-name-blu (tagged bc you've helped me with her costume XD)
reboot au belongs to @bloodrediscream
Alt in the undercut
#I've only seen the first movie#But I kinda wanna see the second one XD#reboot wally#reboot wally au#reboot wally darling#reboot welcome home au#welcome home reboot au#Reboot Eva#Reboot Eva hearts#Yeah her last name got changed for the reboot bc they thought waltz felt outdated#Eva waltz#Dancing portraits#Oc x canon#Deal with it/lh#my art#I gotta find a way to keep being active here/srs#Too many original ideas that might flop tho#I screwam Everytime I tag someone sjdbdbbdbdfb
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Hello everyone!!! It is aberration odium art dump time!!! Featuring!! wild tonal shifts! Cuz the first page of art I drew more recently.. but then I also had some tetack n somnix pics I hadn’t posted yet from when I was working on there playlists! So! I’m posting them all together! Even if it does cause emotional whiplash lmao
#aberration odium#homestuck#fantroll#fan troll#fantrolls#xylona#dessie#caiddo#tetack#somnix#Srry the first page is basically just dessie x caiddo. w 1 love xylona lol#they’re fun to draw!!!! give me comfort… lil in love blorbos..#I actually drew some solo caiddos too! cuz I’ve realized. I have not drawn very many nice pics of him on his own.#and I wanted to try and rectify that. but! those are all traditional. and I don’t feel like cleaning them up yet.. eventually!!#eventually I will. just not today#’hey pepper have u watched Fionna and cake yet?’ no I have not….. welcome to my twisted fucking mind… this is my curse#I hate… fucking watching anything lol. like I have to be in the right zone mood for it.. and I just haven’t felt like it yet lol#I WILL THO. I will eventually… just not rn lol#it’s funny. cuz at first I thought it was just a thing I did when other ppl wanted me to watch something#but no!!! IM THE ONE WHOS EXCITED ABOUT AND WANTS TO WATCH THIS SHOW. AND I STILL DONT FEEL LIKE IT.#like wtf is wrong w my brain ghghg. I’m procrastinating watching something that I WANT TO WATCH#I’ll get around to it eventually tho. probably soon. I’m gonna be cat sitting in a few days so I’ll have a lot of free time then#so I’ll def get around to it#until then tho!! pls enjoy this art of me and my friends homestuck ocs lol#doodles#*1 LONE xylona. not love lol… spelling is hard..#blood#death#character death#I rlly should have put those in a diff photoset they r SO TONALLY DIFFERENT. like it’s like ‘wooo chibi fun times!!’ then ‘u killed him..’
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all verses are up, finally. my carrd is complete
#��� ooc.#i really hope the verses arent all shit is my new fear#but we shall see hkjdshgkjshg for now im just glad i finally got all my thoughts down#all subject to change if i learn more / find something better but rn i like what i have. .. . .#helpful critique on any verse tho is always welcomed too#NOW THO i can go back to writing and hopefully start some new things with mutuals ive yet to write with#thank u all for bearing with me ghkjgs#time 4 bed
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Alright so for now I’ve got the elves lore in my new notebook, tho I’m not sure if it will be used or not, but it’s still important so that I could understand how their culture works or something
Also still no sure what to do with the language barrier, I’ll just continue going forward till it becomes an issue and try to solve it then.
By the way just finished listening to 36 questions musical/podcast and wow I’m not sure what to say but I needed to say something
+ can someone please tell me how can I fix the resolution for the art?? Why is it so pixelly
#I’m trying to to spoil anything#but like#this is a blog for me to keep my thoughts and ideas#there will definitely be spoilers if you look too close#such as their being snow elves#who were normal forest elves that got banished after breaking the no meat rule#to be fair it was during a food pandemic time#and they didn’t have their plant powers then#anyway they are kinda forgotten#and are believed to be dead or just an old story to scare young elves#tho if you looked#you will find them in the ice mountains#living with the dwarves who welcomed them when they lost their home#yeah#spoiler I guess?#lol#high guardian herbs#high guardian spice#high guardian spice reboot#fanart#thyme#elf#elves#lore
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hmmm checo having a two year extension is strange to me but i haven’t sorted all my thoughts out yet
#f1#checo perez#silly season 2024#like 2?? not just 1???? hmmmmmmmmmmm#also this after estie bestie yesterday?? it’s kinda giving force india 2018 im ngl#i miss my girlfriend tho 😔 liam when will you return and take your rightful seat on either rb team 🥺#and yuki too???? i’m thinking thoughts and idk if he’s ready for partnering max bc that would invite i think a little too much criticism#which would be Bad for him in many ways#but still rip to the boyfriends 🙏#ALTHOUGH. i will say. checo is a good driver and i feel many people are forgetting that. he’s a stable presence and can for sure give good#feedback to the engineers. perhaps w adrian newey drama they’re not willing to risk other factors? not a bad decision necessarily#esp bc if the car does fall apart next year (as i pray it will 🙏)#checo and max are at least stable and will be able to survive most of it hopefully#unlike a rookie (liam) or a less experienced driver (yuki)#i am still thinking thoughts on this tho!! it’s a funny one#and i suppose welcome to actual silly season! it’ll probably happen rapidly if they’re announcing checo right after estie yesterday
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Never finished writing up all of their synopses as posts here but! I did make this google doc
79 AUs. 7000+ words. All spicyhoney brain rot
#any questions r welcomed. there's some art here and there on this blog of some of these guys but I'd like to make another doc for that too#so it's all in one place and easily navigable#would only be my stuff tho sorry I'm too scared to ask Sacyo if I could add his stuff too#honestly i might wind up taking this down or at least hiding the post#idk why i get so scared to talk abt this stuff. I didn't used to#i was also planning on making a doc w/ like. character refs for all these aus and other important characters to the boys#but this alone took like a month to do and it's just been sitting in my accnt since then bc i was too scared to post... </3#anyways#spicyhoney#papship#papcest#sns thoughts...#extraspicyhoney#sns fic stuff#i guess??
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casually thinking of how natural it is to humans to so easily reject and feel utter discomfort and disgust at something like pedo/zoophilia (rightfully so) to the point that, even the idea of a non-offending zoo/pedo makes us still feel disgust and rejection towards the person. Even as they had the chance to go to therapy and deal with it and never offend in their life, it is two subjects so extremely hard to tackle and have mercy for because of it's inhumane and repulsive nature. It's bittersweet to me, because even i am affected by this natural bodily rejection and disgust, even though it's absolutely moral for me to feel like that. If they haven't offended, aren't they just incredibly damaged people who deal with those immoral, intrusive thoughts? I don't know. And i think i'll never entirely accept someone with those philias due to that fact alone. It will never not intrigue me and make me feel repulsed, and nothing will ever take that away.
#syd.txt#posting this bcs i was stalking thru a blog that had “all philias are welcomed (non offending) zoo/pedos too.” on one of their posts.#now it was along those lines but the point was that their blog was also open to non-offending pedos/zoos n it just pushed me to think abt#those people in specific n how even as they've never offended. just the fact that they have those philias is morally disgusting to most.#hell. even i had to stop myself from judging too quickly. bcs ppl with these philias also tend to be extremely traumatized individuals.#still. it's so hard to accept. yk? like it'll never be easy to say something like that. i think it takes a lot of bravery n well.#being an immensely damaged person too. to say something like that. nothing wrong w that tho. im just saying i'm not traumatized enough lmao.#one of my most controversial personal posts tbh. but it evokes a lot of thought in me and i like that.
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#salmon run#thought it would be fun to make a poll :]#i have a clear favorite lol. marooners bay is nice & there are most definitely no salmonlings there! :D#spawning grounds isn’t as bad as people say i think it’s mainly the grates they hate :p#but the grates can be good protection against maws & can prevent flyfish from inking the ground!#sockeye station & gone fission hydroplant are rlly good too im a big fan of those.#rotations on those are fun. i got to choose the rotation for sockeye’s latest partial random weapon rotation!!#you’re welcome btw :3#salmonid smokeyard!! one of my first ever job locations im so glad it’s returning#lost outpost & ark polaris are pretty maps i haven’t seen them since we relocated to splatsville tho :0#would love to go again. ark polaris is so beautiful even at night
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I can't tell if it makes me feel better or worse that I wasn't the only person who was failed and fucked over by the administration of my old school.
I'm glad I dropped out. And I'm glad I can finally say I was right about those cunts.
#necrotic chittering#vent#big traumadump incoming y'all are welcome to ignore this tho i don't mind /gen /nm#i'm unpacking some trauma and stuff w/ my parents about the shit i went through during mid-high school#in the sort of ''it never had to happen'' phase rn#somehow my mom and i finally thought to glance at the google and yelp reviews for the place and they are TELLING#parents and students alike voicing their concerns for the poor / questionable administration and whether or not some of these people are#actually certified for the jobs that they have#+ the fact that apparently (based on stuff mentioned on yelp) they school is actively hiding + deleting bad reviews#AND that I found at least 3 teachers who are still working there leaving positive reviews and hyping up THEIR OWN JOB#bless the review on yelp or wherever that said ''this place is a lawsuit waiting to happen''#also un-fun fact! found out all too late that among the school's resources for autistic/special ed stuff they had AUTISM SPEAKS-#- at the top of the list 🙃#right beside the autism center that the so-called ''counselor'' ~just so happened~ to have a personal/financial stake in#yeah. fucking sucks#I just wish we realized how rotten it all was sooner#i can't believe that we had any faith in them to begin with
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ARI THE BINGO THING IS SO CUTE?? if you’re still doing them can you do one for me :33
RHEYAAAA MY BELOVED :3333 here is a big cup of warm tea for you … pls have a seat 🍵 I AMMM STILL DOING THEM here is yours hehe!!!
#IM PATTING YOU AND TUCKING YOU INTO BED SO GENTLY!!!!!#coaxing you into bed so u get all the sleep you need <333333 all med students should be allowed to nap during work hours i think#I LOVE YOU LOTSSS you’re soso sweet and welcoming n i love talking to you 🥺#i feel like we havent gotten the chance to rant to each other toooo much BUT !!!!! im rlly looking forward to doing so!!!!!!#i wanna hear abt your studies n interests n . sashisu thoughts :333#the bouncing around the walls is Me whenever we interact bc i just love u very dearly <3333#ANDDDD your writing …. sososo good. i cant wait to see more of it!!!!! 🥺🥺 i have so many of your fics on my tbr hehe#i wanna read paracosm of the gods soooo bad but i know ill cry and i . am Scared 😭 angsty geto fics make me too emotional </3#im sooo excited to get to it tho!!! :>#AND AND!!! i think you have older sib vibes <33 bc talking to you is just always so soothing somehow!!!!#you just feel like a supportive older sis to me i think !!! :’3 and i’m always so in awe of how hard you work!!!!#ILYYYYY and im super duper happy to have you as a moot!!!! 🥺🥺🥺#ask tag ✩#rheya !! ✩
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