#thought it would be the other way round
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and also "putting everyone in a simulation will make it all ok 👍" and also "let's park next to this random system's sun" and also "we can't live on our own planet because of our own folly" and so on
#and also an inablity to accept the inevitable...etc etc#i thought of some more but then i forgot them 😋#originally wanted to post this with other sillies but then i was like. well i dont wanna spoil anyone on either a these games so erm. ya#nine sols#outer wilds#nine sols spoilers#outer wilds spoilers#outer wilds echoes of the eye#echoes of the eye spoilers#echoes of the eye#if youve played nine sols could i recommend outer wilds: a space exploration game where u play as a cute and short lookin alien whos#unraveling the mysteries of their solar system although there isnt any combat and although there are horrors theyre not like. well.#nobodies bein harvested thats for sure. and its very much about the story#and if youve played outer wilds uhh. i. dont really know if i can recommend nine sols even though i Can summarize it as a game where u do#explore and there is space and u Are an alien (from a humans pov) and you Are cute and short (from a humans pov)(until u learn the horrors)#and there Are horrors but erm. well. shrug emote. it Is a combat game thats the primary reason#the horrors are less the horrors of space and how easy it is for you to die and the idea of said causes of death and also the unknown. and#more the sins of some REALLY fucked up cats. ethically dubious science sins. actual guts bein spilled. i mean i aint actin like the warning#of the game id recommend lookin those up. sure is a game tho (i cried)(just like w outer wilds)#feels like i could recommend a non combat game to a combat game player easier than the other way round#the theoretical combat game player would be capable of playing a non combat game right#feels harder to imagine the other way around. then again i Did find outer wilds mechanically difficult at times in a way that combat games#can challenge me. so. shrug#all that matters is if u enjoyed the dialogue n interactions in nine sols...if u didnt vibe w that then im unsure how much outer wilds woul#vibe for you. etc etc#idk why i started typing up a whole ass recommendation in the tags. anyway have at ye#idk who'd read this far but i salute you FSDHLFSDHKSFDH
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Sometimes, I'm sad about the hobbies I have abandoned or have been too intimidated to pick up. But... what good is it, to just beat myself up over that? My bass is sitting in the corner, patiently waiting, and so is everything else. My life isn't over, and I've got nothing to answer to. I'm wading through a sea of time, and I'll pick up the seashells that interest me, and it's okay to put one back in the sand. The current's waves will bring it back to me if that is to be destiny. I can not hate myself into productivity, so I must swim on.
I think the same can apply to anybody. It's okay if you have dropped something, such as a hobby or passion. Human beings are like that sometimes, it isn't reasonable for you to beat yourself into submission. You, too, can not hate yourself into being a well-rounded person. You must cultivate it like you would a garden - with patience, time, and care.
#positivity#encouraging words#i feel like so often people will try to hate themselves into being 'better' people...#...like fitness for instance. so many people slog through fitness not because they are interested in moving their body...#..but because they are told they must do [x] workout or look [y] way...#...and so it becomes a chore that is a means to an end. but... is that how we ought to live you think?#like i go to the gym because it's FUN. i go there to have FUN. i do what is enjoyable there!#i don't worry about anything but if i am doing a weightlife correctly (for safety) and if i am moving and having fun#why would i go to the gym if i am not having fun? fun is a *human need* regardless of age!#we are wired to do fun things - to seek out pleasure. why should we surpress that?#a well-rounded person is somebody who can be in-tune with their feelings and can recognize what is enjoyable...#...and not only that but to not feel *bad* about their feelings or needs changing (this is - at least - my opinion)#i thought this was an interesting conversation and something i sometimes struggle with and see others struggle with
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movie sonadow would be so l umity-coded…and i say this bc their dynamic is similar to the games but with a different and tender perspective: they both empathize deeply with each other now, and this shadow is not as reticent or closed off bc of that. that being said: movie!sonic would ABSOLUTELY 'YOU'RE the sweet potato!' the hell out of shadow
#i say l umity bc they're my fave yardstick for romantic relationship progression#between two characters who're barely just starting to know themselves let alone their feelings#and bc they're cute. and i have been thinking abt (made sleepless over‚ really) sonic being SO ecstatic to find shadow alive#i just see movie!sonic being more physically affectionate n movie!shadow (w the both of them having already seen each other at their worst)#feeling less of a need to put up a front. not much to hide from the guy you pleaded with to kill you on the moon yk?#speeds over‚ loops his arms and spins him 'round#he would be SO excited to show shadow fun earth stuff#and on a deeper level‚ i think a liiiiiittle bit of it'd be projection#he knows their situations aren't the same. but yet again‚ here's another hedgehog in a strange new world#and he wants to give him everything he wished he'd had when he arrived#so he shows him crappy reality tv and new kinds of foods and other kinds of constellations‚#the proper way to give a fist bump (bc shadow was going to genuinely punch him and he had to explain)‚ and books from the library#they get more movies. sonic teaches him how to play mario kart. he knux and tails induct him into their baseball games#and sonic is delighted to find they have the same problem of hitting the ball Way Too Hard#he answers every question shadow has to the best of his ability#and like. the Main Thought that's been plaguing me is that one day he gets shadow a picture frame#and - idk how sonic got it‚ just roll with it - sonic reveals the picture of shadow and maria#and explains that tom had that section of his old cave‚ the one w the picture of longclaw excavated and preserved#and he doesn't know how tom did it‚ but now she's in his new home too. he doesn't have to leave her behind just bc he found somewhere new#basically trying to show him that it's okay to grieve and to KEEP grieving. that just bc you've been understood‚ that love goes away.#but yeah. they drive me nuts#sonadow#sonic movie 3 spoilers#sth
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“Why’s he call you Darlin’?”
on my knees begging my brain to stop trying to associate this song with Sam
#(it’s too late guys i’ve already added it to a couple playlists. i can’t help it)#redacted audio#redacted asmr#redacted sam#redacted darlin#rp audio stuff#Seven’s Blorbo Songs#music stuff#i fell down a rabbit hole of music videos on YT last night and decided to give this song a chance based on the title obviously#skipped through all the exposition just to quickly find out if i liked the song or not#and as soon as the first line came in i went head-in-hands at my desk bc i just Knew it was over for me#i hate that i like it#it’s very repetitive and giving strong Modern/Mainstream Pop-Rap-Country vibes#but i’m not too proud to admit that i eat that shit up on occasion#‘You’ve been beatin’ ‘round the bush so much you’re knockin’ off the leaves.’ goes kinda hard tho i’m ngl#‘ole boy in a Ridgeline and i drive a Chevy’ would Sam be a truck elitist? hmm#i doubt it. i see him as too practical-minded to care about brand names and shit like that#like irl i think it’s very silly. and perhaps a little questionable to hate on a ‘foreign’ vehicle. but i don’t even like trucks at all so#insecure country boys and their obsession with big trucks are ruining the road for us regular people that just want a normal ass car#but i’ll stop before i go off on a rant about america’s transportation problems#anyways. i can separate reality from fiction and i love the image of Sam in a beat up beloved old truck. cliché as it may be#getting back on track. my POINT was that the song doesn’t even necessarily fit Sam’s vibes i just. can’t undo the association#been trying to think of a way for it to fit him but that would require Darlin’ to be cheating on him and i don’t like that thought#like i love some types of angst but cheating isn’t one of them#i could view it through the context of being directed at Alexis bc i already hate her lmao but once again it doesn’t fit in canon#and i don’t know how i feel about the thought that he used to call her Darlin’ too. though it’s very possible. mmm angst#not that it has to fit with canon for me to attach a song to a character. certainly not! but i need to make it work in my mind Somehow#and i can’t even come up with a good HC to make this fit. the idea of Jealous!Sam is fun in theory but idk if i’d like it practice anyways#tldr: does this really fit canon Sam? meh. Is it forever tied to him in my mind anyways due to the use of the petname Darlin’? absolutely.#anywho. one of these days i’ll open this app to do something other than vent post or yap abt rp audio blorbos. but that day is not today!
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i dont like when character being blunt/having no filter = character just being Mean, and im trying to find a good balance with that for Talon. I guess it's not that hard since he's not an (active) overthinker and I have drawn him saying things he considers neutral that seem rude to others...I guess I have to find a way to show the opposite, too
#talkys#oc text#active overthinker bc he does have mindsets that would be Overthinking but theyre more like#''the brain fell to this conclusion'' vs ''this conclusion was arrived at after hrs of thinking''#also the balance would be because he of course does have to at least consider his words often#and i know there are things he doesnt want to reveal to others‚ or sometimes he doesnt Want to say things that could#influence someones emotions in one way or another#but i think thats solved by the ''neutral (to him) statement'' part of it#just like when i drew him saying smunker's face was really round (to smunker himself)#skunker took that as an insult but talon was just Stating Observation#similarly Talon would have to strain certain compliments to people he enjoys through clenched teeth sometimes#due to the vulnerability of it all of course#but we could also just go the ''It's Just An Observation he states neutrally‚ without thinking'' route here#except received positively#i think thats harder for ME the writer to figure out tho bc im the overthinker#and also positive stuff harder to keep neutral and surface level#maybe it rly just is thinking vs unthinking#catching self thinking about complimenting al = why would i embarrass myself this way#the words simply escaping before the thought catches up‚ without being too detailed‚ solely#based off of what he's observing at that moment = ✅#also dont get me wrong talon IS purposefully mean pretty often LOL but i didnt want that sole connection to Being Blunt#ok gn yey ^_^
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just some of my little opinions btw
#universe league#starlight boys#project 7#these images are ordered from most to least confidence btw#as in im very confident about my UL picks and idfk about p7#first of all i know that like none of my picks will make it except for kenshin seungho and yeojun... I KNOW#and i know this is a bunch of kids and im hiring yonghyun to be the babysitter... i know. listen#i just think the kids are really cute together.... kenshin andy and atilla theyre all gay teen boys who love each other :(((#but atilla is about to get eliminated i feel cause he hasnt had screentime in a while and his original song perf flopped#I WOULD HAVE PUT HIM IN MERRY GO ROUND WITH THE SLAYERS!!!!!! if i had my way#and im sexually attracted to kwon yonghyun next question#starlight boys was easy picking for me until the last 3 cause i think there are obvious standouts in that show... / i dont have that#many faves. whereas in p7 i like everyone so it's harder.#universe league similarly easy except for i would want kairi to be there too... i thought about switching him with shuaibo but idk#with p7 now i think i should have put park junseo instead of seungho... idfk
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...So! There are at least two people on tumblr who hate me with absolute loathing 🙃
#By which I mean that I've been on this new account for a few days only and two people have blocked me#I have not interacted with them in that time#and yes they had me blocked on my old account#so... the only explanation is that they regularly check the Silmarillion tag and saw my posts showing up in it?#but like this implies that (a) they remembered my url (which I changed recently?) and pfp (which people sometimes share??) that well#and (b) decided 'block on sight' was the thing to do#and (c) went *on* my blog to find the url of my main and blocked me there#...and that's some level of investment#I did in fact get into a quarell with one of the blogs... nearly two years ago I think#mostly to learn that they're a raging hypocrite (including but not limited to 'you vagueing me is rude but not the other way round)#but that was not the case with the other#anyway yeah I'm probably making more of it than most would because I seem to be the very rare one here to consider blocking a last resort?#but also one of those people clearly vagued that they detest me so apparently that's still the case😅#anyway they're an idiot but I don't like being detested. would prefer a mild dislike#*also the issue we thought on is no longer really a thing but whatever#therese rambles#I don't think this counts as a rant? idk#therese rants#no commiserations needed I can deal with it
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ObiKaka chronological game of noughts n crosses <3
board is
X O X
O O X
O X O
they both suck! ^-^
#if you have questions on what classifies as either you can ask bc i also got confused on where the line is-#ALSO I KNOW CROSSES GOES FIRST#AND CROSSES HAS FEWER#this took me days to collect the scenes that *I* thought worked. this is subjective. i did not 'decide' a winner#i didnt even think there was going to be a winner. i assumed that the images would line up so there was no possible winner.#some of these are mental damages not physical since. theyre obviously not always hurting each other physically onviously#b#obikaka#😇 pls dont hate me :(#EDIT I HAD SOMETHING THE WRONG WAY WRONG WAY ROUND IGNORE SOME OF THR TAGS THERE WAS NO WINNER ^-^
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Another bonus throw-away poll because Breaking Dawn - Part 2 still has a short soundtrack!
#the twilight saga#twilight#twilight soundtrack#twilight poll#if you're wondering where a thousand years went to fear not!#it will be in the next round#bd pt2 just had a funky number of songs and i thought the simplest way to iron that out would be to push one of the songs ahead to round 3#and that one's poll in round 1 got quite a bit more votes than any of the others from bd pt 2 so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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oooooohhhh!!! My theory about the shrine maiden seems to be halfway correct!! I mean its not confirmed yet but theyve said something somewhat similar!!!
#Oooh#Imma put spoilers at the bottom of the tags so if someone happens to see it but hasnt finished Ln7 dont read it#Spoilers#the apothecary diaries#apothecary diaries#kusuriya no hitorigoto#Just making this post bc i love it when i guess something based on some said/show in a series and i get it at least somewhat right!!#My theory was that perhaps the shrine maiden was intersex...#I was tipped off when Maomao commented on the small size of their chest and that she wishes that she#Could of seen the shrine maidens bare lower half to see if the shrine maiden couldve been pregnant#Thinking about it if Maomaos theory is correct that could the white lady even be the shrine maidens child.#Personally i thought it would be the other way round#With the shrine maiden being the white ladys child#But also estrogen in apothecary diaries real?!#Maomaos theory of the shine maiden being born a male and castrated when young (how young? Idk) and taking medicene#To enlargen their chest size... ohh i wodner where this will go...#Bc if the shine maiden was castrated when young young then theres no way they could have a child...#However... if the white immortal is the mother then... also whats up with her? She hasnt been mentioned much for a short while...#Refering to the shrine maiden as them bc at this point its just a theory#A Maomao theory#Hmm cant wait to see how this will go#Oh also!!! Potential lesbain side couple?!? I hope...#Apothecary diaries spoiler
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Torn because I want to commiserate a bit about the end of Dragon Age as a series, but I don't want to hit any "if you criticized Veilguard or didn't buy it, this is *your* fault" -style posts. Maybe there aren't any, but I'm not feeling inclined to go find out.
#especially since I suspect this was coming regardless of sales or criticism#based on the long development time/2023 layoffs/no DLC planned#i remember reading about a smaller round of layoffs too back in early december -- a bioware artist who lost her job on dragon age day#but i can't find the post i'd read about it so i can't verify anything#if memory serves the artist in question posted about it on bluesky but then deleted her posts#and since i don't remember her name i can't look any of this up#well...regardless. i keep thinking about how sheryl chee's comments about the fans now owning dragon age were nice#but don't do anything for me#i greatly enjoy fan art and meta and analysis#but what draws me to rpgs is the part where i roleplay in a video game#unless there have been significant changes to the site that i missed i can't do that on ao3 y'know?#for about six of the ten years between inquisition and veilguard the most i'd thought about DA was while playing BG3 early access#and it felt somewhat like playing dao again#but in the end while i both love and am critical of bg3 in a way that's similar to how i feel about dragon age my investment isn't the same#and it can't be because it's not a world created and owned by the studio that made the game#larian isn't going to make any baldur's gate sequels even if they could and the dos games aren't#and i was just reading owlcat's ama answers where they also said they don't plan on doing sequels to their games#because that would mean canonizing certain endings and taking away player choice#idk! i'm just feeling bummed in the moment#i love games other than rpgs but it isn't the same kind of experience
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finally finished orv after two years . . . what do i do with my life now
#started in junior year hs dropped it for a while then started reading again at the start of this semester and now im finally done !#dont know whether to cheer or just crumple up and start crying bc wow that was a ride#i thought the ending was tragic but then i moved on to the epilogue and oh my godd#the way kdj was crying and miserable bc he missed his companions and he wanted to be with them so Badly#but when kimcom finally Finally chase him down and come back to him theyre too late and hes already disspitated into other world lines#and after that like. whenever kdj pulls some shit and dies the next chapter always starts with an ‘i’#and hes back and alive and kicking and Thinking but after that epilogue chapter there isnt a chapter in his pov theres no more ‘i’s and.#it just made me incredibly sad bc we dont get to see his pov ever again bc hes truly gone unless we as a reader can imagine him alive again#anyways sad things aside it is Incredibly funny that lee hyunsung just became a wanted man in the 1865th round lmaoo#+ uriel sun wukong and black flame dragon forming a band together ??? truly the most randomest thing in the epilogue#++ yoohankim need to stop beating the shit out of e/o and learn to talk their feelings out Please#+++ sooyoung’s love for dokja has me miserable o-|-< she would wait for him an eternity write for him an eternity im so sad#three times she endlessly wrote a novel for him to read three times she waited to see him for so long <//3#you bet im imagining the happiest conclusion i can for them#they WILL live happily ever after in that big house together as long as i have something to say about it!#orv
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ok yk what. now that i’ve had some time to process nghy canon, considering the current pacing of gen retcon, i think their next step is as ✨clear as day✨
i really like seeing them happy together, but i truly do think that they should divorce and either live the rest of their lives as single besties; partners in hero/heroine-isms, but better off as just friends, or go their separate ways for a bit and get back together when they’re a little older and wiser, staying together for good this time around, as each other’s first and last boyfriend/girlfriend
#‘haven’t you had quite enough of pushing your divorce agendas??? like with lxl????’ no. never.#idk i think part of their charm was nagisa’s patience and genuine earnest love for hiyori#and hiyori’s determination to achieve her goals of becoming a true heroine in every sense of the word…#but the current pacing is kinda… um. i really love how nghy is now truly canon ofc. but… it feels too rushed?#like they’re just checking off a box on a ‘relationships to go’ checklist?#and nagisa’s sudden second confession? in a throwaway line? what was that all about man… when did that even happen? excuse?#i think it’d have been more meaningful if hiyori was the one to confess without any prompting (to lead to their relationship)…#and. uh. don’t take this the wrong way but… noontea seemed a little peer pressure-y to me.#it kinda felt like juri and chizu were pressuring hiyori into getting a bf… it’s been eating away at me ever since i tried to tl it. but.#…idk. point is. i think a relationship built on those foundations (peer pressure/fomo and a suddenly persistent guy(???)) is doomed to fail#and so i think nghy should divorce. maybe they’ll reconnect romantically in a few years#(fulfilling nagisa’s agreement to be hiyori’s ‘last bf’ as well as having been her ‘first bf’ during their first try at a relationship)#or they could just be besties till the end of time; having been each other’s hero and heroine once upon a time#ik hw doesn’t do breakups of their main couples (not since nakimushi kareshi eons ago i think…)#but i think they should give it another go for nghy. maybe it’d make their love story a little more compelling#and maybe we could all unite under the cheers of hoping that ng and hy get back together in the future as more mature adults…?#idk i just. think the ‘right person; wrong time’ trope could work for nghy#like how it went in sukiuso/heroika with nagisa’s failed confession#even then they were the right person for each other; it just wasn’t the right time for them to date (personal goals/long distance/etc)#so maybe. this time ‘round even though they’ve started dating circumstances could still pop up here and there and maybe…?#…but idk~~~~~~~~ maybe it’s just the 5am thoughts or something that’s finally putting my incoherent trains of thoughts into words…#point is!!!!!! the current pacing is awkward!!!!!!!!! nghy deserve better!!!!!!! and their love story needs to be treated with more care!!!!#idk are hw trying to speedrun nghy for h10w bc nghy’s. like. a mix of different features of their previous couples#which would make ‘em the perfect couple to bring h10w together(???) or something???#but idk. im still really really happy the nghy is canon but. there are some mixed feelings here and there too…#idk dudes this has gotten way too long for its own good so ig i’ll stop here…#live laugh love nghy canon but… i still think they should break up for *at least* a year or so to reasses their relationship#sorry nghy… it’s for your own good i swear… i truly want you to be happy together!!!! i really do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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3! would also love some horror recs if you got them
"What were your top 5 books of the year?"
In chronological order, because I'm relying heaily on Storygraph to remind me what happened. Almost all of these are horror except the first one.
The Wager: A Tale of Shipwreck, Mutiny and Murder (David Grann)
From the author of Killers of the Flower Moon comes a real-life version of the The Terror where English hubris and a disregard for human life leave a ship of men stranded on a remote island somewhere near Cape Horn. I like that Grann takes the time to really get into the fates of a few free Black sailors (grim as they are) and to make it clear that none of this ever needed to happen at all.
The Reformatory (Tananarive Due)
This won the most recent Bram Stoker award for best novel and well-deserved. Set in Jim Crow Florida, we follow Robert Stephens Jr. as he's imprisoned in, and attemps to escape from, a reform school literally haunted by his homwtown's violent past. So tense I sometimes had trouble reading because I was too worried for fictional characters. Does a really lovely, not at all didactic, job of making it clear how systemic racism implicates everyone and what a horrorshow that is.
Cuckoo (Gretchen Felker-Martin)
Felker-Martin is super not for everyone but if you like your horror gross and squirmy and urgently queer she will have you by the throat. This is Stephen King's IT set at a conversion camp, basically, and it's probably my favorite book of the year just for the sheer thrill of reading it not quite knowing what uncomfortable thing will happen next.
We Used to Live Here (Marcus Kliewer)
An interesting little book that had some Tanis/House of Leaves vibes for me. This was a Reddit rec and like a lot of Reddit horror it's stayed with mainly more for the world it implies.
Diavola (Jennifer Marie Thorne)
The family scapegoat goes on a trip to Italy with her parents, siblings and spouses and is the only person who can see with any clarity that they're all being haunted and the Air BNB is out for blood. Infuriating and a lot of fun.
#books meme#I somehow failed to read my other Alison Rumfitt this year and for that I am sorry#will update on Brainwryms in the new year#I also got the best first novel winner for the last round of Stokers which I'm looking forward to#but first I have to finish IT because I thought that would be a fun way to end the year
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yknow what minor transient detail abt s4 is fun to me? prior to john's reveal, noel apparently assumes the KIY to be a totally unfamiliar character to them both. he pauses his story to give background info on him ("he rules the dreamlands, he's a master manipulator, etc") in a way he doesn't with other stuff. he points out yellow like "that's the bitch btw. if you were curious." which is. like he knows they were in the dreamlands. i think he knows or at least assumes they were in the pits for a while given they ran into lorick. what does he think they were doing there. just. passing through??
#the nemesis speaks#mv liveblog#malevolent spoilers#like it's not SUCH an unreasonable assumption especially with arthur doing his level best to Not React in a way that will draw suspicion#+ lorick says the KIY doesn't even know he's down there so you can get to the pits by other means#but like. not just to have not directly interacted with the king but to be completely unfamiliar with him as a concept?? ?#that i feel would strike him as kind of odd. what does he imagine is up with them.#i would pay money for a genuine cards on the table conversation btwn them all that doesn't happen at gunpoint#relatedly a lot of The Order is fun from noel's pov#the point where arthur has to hard stop to remind john where they are and what's happening for one.#and he's just gotta be like hm. okay. that's. deeply concerning but i don't think we have time to get into it right now#also the part where art starts addressing yellow as. well. ''yellow.'' like making it obvious they know each other already#i just think it's funny that noel still doesn't know shit fuck about what's happened in the rest of the podcast#but now he's finding out apparently arthur's had two totally separate fragments of the king in his head at different points? and he's fine?#and one of them has beef with him?? and he's talking DOWN to it?? he's... apologizing for... fucking up... raising..... it....?? ? ?#round of applause for noel's ability to Just Roll With It everyone#like god. he thought he was facing down with the all-powerful source of ten years of hardcore trauma#and then arthur's just like. every fragment of the king in this room answers to me. i'm gonna antagonize one of em into manifesting#just for the hell of it. just so i can have a lil chat. because i can do that easily and with zero fear of repercussions.#hi fragment of the Fucking KIY that i gave a stupid nickname and apparently feel some kind of responsibility for.#what do u think noel thought abt that. i feel like he probably thought it was kinda hot#hm. these tags are getting away from me a bit. this is kind of me liveblogging a transcript reread. i'm gonna stop now#malevanalysis
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Something I want to build on with vincent at some point is how much the years of being an adventurer has taken a toll on him. he spent so long just being angry at the world but as he gets closer and closer to carteneau he does start recognizing how reckless he's been and the mistakes he's made over the years. friendships (especially with layla and nhea) helping him get a little closer to how he used to be before finally stopping and trying to do better for himself when he loses his leg. and the fact that guilt has really solidified in him to still make him push himself in his healing rather than combat (though sometimes still pushing himself too far) and how the years of treating himself like a weapon have taken a toll on his mind (he has terrible nightmares that only a select few have been able to help him through it)
#look at me building on vincent more#though this stuff isn't actually new and i'm pretty sure i've mentioned some of it before#but i'd like to round it out more#like nhea being his first friend after leaving gridania that wasn't just a one off working together#or how his and gaius's relationship started because of that mutual understanding of wanting to be better even if their reasons differed#little things like that mainly because i honestly really like how. varied his personality can be#he's usually really calm and collected but now and then he makes some really reckless moves that's more akin to his WoL days#finding ways to make the nightmares easier to more avoidable ranging from meditation to a good solid support at his back#the support being a literal wall sometimes when he was still traveling alone or sharing a cot with gaius when he joins up with them#that bit of safety making a bigger difference than he would've expected though it's not always perfect#i have had thoughts on the zodiark fight because he gets stuck as a tank with a weapon he's not overly familiar with#and that ends up with his leg getting busted up and cid and nero being a little too busy to fix it so he's relegated to helping other ways#which would tie in my idea of his crutches being able to act as a conjurer's staff >:3#my little moon expedition team ends up being the main squad of raya nhea layla and vincent#not sure where einar is at the time since he was in garlemald maybe staying back to help people? probably?#but yea it's 2 monks a white mage and a lancer with a gunblade so goes about as well as you'd expect lol#raya and nhea are both paladins as well so i guess technically one of them could tank instead but hey#this wasn't supposed to be a ramble in the tags kinda post but here we are
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