#though she will enjoy the outcome
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kalosian-woods · 16 days ago
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Hello!!! I don’t know if your taking requests for snippets rn, but would you be able to write something about XY’s mirror world? It is tRAGICALLY underrated and I saw what YIU wrote for it a bit ago and loved it! Thanks if so :DD
Tysm, I'm happy that it resonated with you so well!!! :D It really is an underrated piece of lore from XY, which is part of anipoke's general weirdness about deep mythos that can get dropped but never really delved into, especially as it is considered a 'filler' ep. But hey, my goal is to delve into whatever I can get my hands on within Kalos and so here we are heh.
Going to write up a snippet for you, but beware, very exposition-y. Might as well make the best of both worlds (lol).
__________________________________________________
“A mirror world?”
Ash bit his lip as he watched the ground, seeing a slice of his face on it. It’s strange, hearing her voice without any of the bite. One part of him wished it was there all the same. “Well, this can’t be my world. You’re all so… different.”
The sound of screeching and scratching reached his ears, and he cowered for a moment. This Clemont is more occupied with cold metal, bending it to his will with force that is nowhere on his face or tone, and that is strange too. Back in his world, his Clemont will always be tracking mud from some arcane spell or running race. His face will always be stuck in a proud grin, his mouth always running with some sort of retort or boastful explanation. Ash briefly wondered if his Clemont would believe him about this world.
“So, how are we like in your world, then?” And that’s Bonnie. Or at least, this world’s Bonnie. In his world, she wouldn’t really give him the time of day. She was proud of her role in orbiting her older brother, just as her older brother was proud of his strength and skill.
Ash stuck a finger on the ground, skirting around the reflective surface. “Well, you see, I’m just a new Trainer. I came to Kalos because I heard that I could get stronger there, and that’s where I met all of you.”
Some silence. Then, “So we’re all still travelling with each other in your world?”
I didn’t want to, not really, flashed into his mind at her voice, but Ash forced himself to nod. “You were a strong Trainer. You said you could help me. And, uh, Clemont came around too. He was tired of being in his Gym and wanted to see everything outside, so he took a break and came with us.”
“I did what?!” this Clemont gasped as Bonnie laughed beside him. Ash could slightly detect a sad note behind that.
He shrugged. The inventor, because that’s what he is, picked up the screwdriver he dropped and went back to work. Ash thought he was out of the conversation before he heard a tentative, “So, what kind of Gym? Were we still in Lumiose?”
“You always were.” ‘The perfect place for everyone to see my brilliance!’. “Ground Type. You were fourth in the Gym Challenge.”
“So the order is reversed?” She sounded interested as she sat back. “That must be interesting. Or, since that’s all you know…”
“That’s okay.” Ash didn’t even know what to say to that. It just came out, like instinct. He could feel that questioning look again, and he scratched the ground harder. “You were always interested in the Gym Challenge, even though you said it was too easy. You— I mean, the other Serena. My one. She was very strong. My Clemont said she could be Champion if she put her mind to it.” And some other choice words that none of them needed to know.
“That’s funny.” This Bonnie stuck her tongue out as she thought to herself. “Our Ash is very strong. He’s brave too, and so are his Pokemon, you know, and he’s always sticking around with Pikachu.”
“Really?” Ash couldn’t help it. He hears Pikachu’s name and its like his heart is opening, is open, is ready to receive that love in any shape or form as long as it is yellow and bright and full of electricity and sparking cheeks.
This Bonnie nodded. “Yeah! He’s the one challenging the Gyms here. He didn’t get to challenge Clemont though…”
“That’s because we made a promise!” this Clemont barked out, cheeks going red, and the three shared a small laugh as Ash thought to himself, legs drawn up but slightly lowering as the conversation flows on, fingers free from the ground itself. It was weird that Bonnie was calling her brother by name. Weird that Clemont wouldn’t take on any challenge head-on, and weird that they were all friendly like this.
“Okay, okay, what colour is the sky there?”
“It’s green.”
But it’s nice.
“What Pokemon do you have?”
“Uh, Froakie, Fletchling, and Hawlucha. They’re not really battlers, though.”
It’s warm.
“Then what do you do?”
“Nothing much.”
“C’mon! I’m sure there’s something you like. Oh, oh, can I help find it?”
“I guess…”
Maybe, in a different world, he would belong here. And maybe that version of him… will appreciate it as much as he does. Or at least he hopes so.
This world was so kind. Ash hopes that nothing bad will befall it.
He hopes that this world can keep going on and on, as beautiful as his other friends has made it out. And he hopes that this own world can learn to be kind too, and that maybe he can be kinder as well, and maybe he can be the one to start the change. Maybe, maybe, maybe.
(Clemont adds the final adjustment to the new machine he is building, and the mirror shines with all of their faces on one surface. Ash does not shy away. Even with her in the picture.
This isn’t his group after all. Over here, this is just Serena, and he is just Ash. No crybaby here.)
In a world with a green sky and a cave with jutting mirrors, a Pikachu stands and fights the invaders.
He knows that they are not the heroes of justice. He knows that they are twisted and wrong and bad, but this Pikachu has faced down titans and land-movers and Psychics with powers that no mind can even comprehend, so he will fight and he will not back down.
That Meowth, smarmy and with a backwater accent, calls out, “What’s wrong with you, Pikachu? Aren’t you going to run back to your Trainer?”
He briefly remembers those tears in those brown eyes. He shakes his head and roars, a sharp, scratchy sound, a sound that has cowed the creator himself. That Meowth winces, and the humans step up, glints in their eyes that betrays a hunger like no other.
“Who cares about the Twerp? Let’s just catch him now, while we still can!” The woman swings over the device, such a strange contraption for villains wearing the face of heroes that prefer action with their own two hands, and he slams it down with Iron Tail. They grimace, and then try again, and again.
Pikachu will not back down. Pikachu will fight, because his Trainer cannot do it alone and he is all his Trainer has left.
And so he attacks and attacks and attacks until he has no more.
And when they reach towards him, black gloves so foreign on their familiar hands, he bites and scratches and buys time. He will make it hard for them, because the world is hard and he is hard and his Ash is so soft, too soft, and so Pikachu will do anything for him.
Anything.
And so he does not give up the fight. Even as they push him inside the device. Even as they crow that his electricity will not penetrate it, because his powers has challenged skies and space and Pikachu will be with Ash and that is a promise.
And Pikachu does not break his promise.
#YAY WE LOVE MIRRORVERSE HERE#so much yummy lore that can be explored... and basically free reign to play with it all#if you love mirrorverse you're going to love the fic heh#ngl it was the snippets that are really inspiring me to go beyond the ep for the fic so hopefully i can keep it up heh#but seriously i've planned out the gyms it's a whole thing :P#the point of the mirrorverse or at least this particular one is to magnify hidden traits and faults#which branches out to make them grow in completely different ways#so pika is a lot more territorial and judges very quickly. does not like change. very much ash + him against the world#froakie is worried about his potential and gets lost in it which makes him miss opportunities in front of him#hawlu is confronted with everything and knows too much and so worries himself to death. very dramatic abt possible outcomes#fletchling keeps giving everyone else everything they have because it does not want to be forgotten or thought of badly#mirror clem would be extremely blind to what others experience or feel. he tries his best but ends up making it worse most of the time#which is strange bc he's good at everything else. just not people.#while mirror serena believes she's too good for stuff and just jumps from one thing to another looking for the right thing#to challenge her and all that. took up ash to show off that she can teach someone because she's that good but. um. no.#he doesn't like that. he just came here to get a froakie from some sus guy with wavy blue hair and chill out.#but mirror ash craves connections beyond most else. pika thinks it's a waste but lets him indulge in it.#because he is more quiet and withdrawn he's also more attuned to small details and that. very handy with mapping out the pokedex#fennekin is a brute because it's easier to get what you want by force than by asking#TR in this universe are also much more good. obvs. but because of that they can care more openly about them#and so keep trying to help them even though no one (except maybe ash) cares or wants them around#yeah they still go through the ringer but it's a lot easier for them#because they are allowed character growth and the ability to learn from the latest gag that tries to kill them heh#man should i do a whole list for everyone in the mirrorverse?? because it does sound fun lol#anyways thank you so much for this!! you've been a kind one for sure :DD hope you've enjoyed and thanks for reading <333#diancie delivers#magearna records
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autistichalsin · 10 months ago
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In retrospect, four years later, I feel like the Isabel Fall incident was just the biggest ignored cautionary tale modern fandom spaces have ever had. Yes, it wasn't limited to fandom, it was also a professional author/booktok type argument, but it had a lot of crossover.
Stop me if you've heard this one before: a writer, whether fan or pro, publishes a work. If one were to judge a book by its cover, something we are all taught in Kindergarten shouldn't happen but has a way of occurring regardless, one might find that there was something that seemed deeply problematic about this work. Maybe the title or summary alluded to something Wrong happening, or maybe the tags indicated there was problematic kinks or relationships. And that meant the story was Bad. So, a group of people takes to the Twittersphere to inform everyone who will listen why the work, and therefore the author, are Bad. The author, receiving an avalanche of abuse and harassment, deactivates their account, and checks into a mental health facility for monitoring for suicidal ideation. They never return to their writing space, and the harassers get a slap on the wrist (if that- usually they get praise and high-fives all around) and start waiting for their next victim to transgress.
Sounds awful familiar, doesn't it?
Isabel Fall's case, though, was even more extreme for many reasons. See, she made the terrible mistake of using a transphobic meme as the genesis to actually explore issues of gender identity.
More specifically, she used the phrase "I sexually identify as an attack helicopter" to examine how marginalized identities, when they become more accepted, become nothing more than a tool for the military-industrial complex to rebrand itself as a more personable and inclusive atrocity; a chance to pursue praise for bombing brown children while being progressive, because queer people, too, can help blow up brown children now! It also contained an examination of identity and how queerness is intrinsic to a person, etc.
But... well, if harassers ever bothered to read the things they critique, we wouldn't be here, would we? So instead, they called Isabel a transphobic monster for the title alone, even starting a misinformation campaign to claim she was, in fact, a cis male nazi using a fake identity to psyop the queer community.
A few days later, after days of horrific abuse and harassment, Isabel requested that Clarkesworld magazine pull the story. She checked in to a psych ward with suicidal thoughts. That wasn't all, though; the harassment was so bad that she was forced to out herself as trans to defend against the claims.
Only... we know this type of person, the fandom harassers, don't we? You know where this is going. Outing herself did nothing to stop the harassment. No one was willing to read the book, much less examine how her sexuality and gender might have influenced her when writing it.
So some time later, Isabel deleted her social media. She is still alive, but "Isabel Fall" is not- because the harassment was so bad that Isabel detransitioned/closeted herself, too traumatized to continue living her authentic life.
Supposed trans allies were so outraged at a fictional portrayal of transness, written by a trans woman, that they harassed a real life trans woman into detransitioning.
It's heartbreakingly familiar, isn't it? Many of us in fandom communities have been in Isabel's shoes, even if the outcome wasn't so extreme (or in some cases, when it truly was). Most especially, many of us, as marginalized writers speaking from our own experiences in some way, have found that others did not enjoy our framework for examining these things, and hurt us, members of those identities, in defense of "the community" as a nebulous undefined entity.
There's a quote that was posted in a news writeup about the whole saga that was published a year after the fact. The quote is:
The delineation between paranoid and reparative readings originated in 1995, with influential critic Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick. A paranoid reading focuses on what’s wrong or problematic about a work of art. A reparative reading seeks out what might be nourishing or healing in a work of art, even if the work is flawed. Importantly, a reparative reading also tends to consider what might be nourishing or healing in a work of art for someone who isn’t the reader. This kind of nuance gets completely worn away on Twitter, home of paranoid readings. “[You might tweet], ‘Well, they didn’t discuss X, Y, or Z, so that’s bad!’ Or, ‘They didn’t’ — in this case — ‘discuss transness in a way that felt like what I feel about transness, therefore it is bad.’ That flattens everything into this very individual, very hostile way of reading,” Mandelo says. “Part of reparative reading is trying to think about how a story cannot do everything. Nothing can do everything. If you’re reading every text, fiction, or criticism looking for it to tick a bunch of boxes — like if it represents X, Y, and Z appropriately to my definitions of appropriate, and if it’s missing any of those things, it’s not good — you’re not really seeing the close focus that it has on something else.”
A paranoid reading describes perfectly what fandom culture has become in the modern times. It is why "proship", once simply a word for common sense "don't engage with what you don't like, and don't harass people who create it either" philosophies, has become the boogeyman of fandom, a bad and dangerous word. The days of reparative readings, where you would look for things you enjoyed, are all but dead. Fiction is rarely a chance to feel joy; it's an excuse to get angry, to vitriolically attack those different from oneself while surrounded with those who are the same as oneself. It's an excuse to form in-groups and out-groups that must necessarily be in a constant state of conflict, lest it come across like This side is accepting That side's faults. In other words, fandom has become the exact sort of space as the nonfandom spaces it used to seek to define itself against.
It's not about joy. It's not about resonance with plot or characters. It's about hate. It's about finding fault. If they can't find any in the story, they will, rest assured, create it by instigating fan wars- dividing fandom into factions and mercilessly attacking the other.
And that's if they even went so far as to read the work they're critiquing. The ones they don't bother to read, as you saw above, fare even worse. If an AO3 writer tagged an abuser/victim ship, it's bad, it's fetishism, even if the story is about how the victim escapes. If a trans writer uses the title "I Sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter" to find a framework to dissect rainbow-washing the military-industrial complex, it's unforgivable. It's a cesspool of kneejerk reactions, moralizing discomfort, treating good/evil as dichotomous categories that can never be escaped, and using that complex as an excuse to heap harassment on people who "deserve it." Because once you are Bad, there is no action against you that is too Bad for you to deserve.
Isabel Fall's story follows this so step-by-step that it's like a textbook case study on modern fandom behavior.
Isabel Fall wrote a short story with an inflammatory title, with a genesis in transphobic mockery, in the hopes of turning it into a genuine treatise on the intersection of gender and sexuality and the military-industrial complex. But because audiences are unprepared for the idea of inflammatory rhetoric as a tool to force discomfort to then force deeper introspection... they zeroed in on the discomfort. "I Sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter"- the title phrase, not the work- made them uncomfortable. We no longer teach people how to handle discomfort; we live in a world of euphemism and glossing over, a world where people can't even type out the words "kill" and rape", instead substituting "unalive" and "grape." We don't deal with uncomfortable feelings anymore; we censor them, we transform them, we sanitize them. When you are unable to process discomfort, when you are never given self-soothing tools, your only possible conclusion is that anything Uncomfortable must be Bad, and the creator must either be censored too, or attacked into conformity so that you never again experience the horrors of being Uncomfortable.
So the masses took to Twitter, outraged. They were Uncomfortable, and that de facto meant that they had been Wronged. Because the content was related to trans identity issues, that became the accusation; it was transphobic, inherently. It couldn't be a critique of bigger and more fluid systems than gender identity alone; it was a slight against trans people. And no amount of explanations would change their minds now, because they had already been aggrieved and made to feel Uncomfortable.
Isabel Fall was now a Bad Person, and we all know what fandom spaces do to Bad People. Bad People, because they are Bad, will always be deserving of suicide bait and namecalling and threatening. Once a person is Bad, there is no way to ever become Good again. Not by refuting the accusations (because the accusations are now self-evident facts; "there is a callout thread against them" is its own tautological proof that wrongdoing has happened regardless of the veracity of the claims in the callout) and not by apologizing and changing, because if you apologize and admit you did the Bad thing, you are still Bad, and no matter what you do in future, you were once Bad and that needs to be brought up every time you are mentioned. If you are bad, you can NEVER be more than what you were at your worst (in their definition) moment. Your are now ontologically evil, and there is no action taken against you that can be immoral.
So Isabel was doomed, naturally. It didn't matter that she outed herself to explain that she personally had lived the experience of a trans woman and could speak with authority on the atrocity of rainbow-washing the military industrial complex as a proaganda tool to capture progressives. None of it mattered. She had written a work with an Uncomfortable phrase for a title, the readers were Uncomfortable, and someone had to pay for it.
And that's the key; pay for it. Punishment. Revenge. It's never about correcting behavior. Restorative justice is not in this group's vocabulary. You will, incidentally, never find one of these folks have a stance against the death penalty; if you did Bad as a verb, you are Bad as an intrinsic, inescapable adjective, and what can you do to incorrigible people but kill them to save the Normal people? This is the same principle, on a smaller scale, that underscores their fandom activities; if a Bad fan writes Bad fiction, they are a Bad person, and their fandom persona needs to die to save Normal fans the pain of feeling Uncomfortable.
And that's what happened to Isabel Fall. The person who wrote the short story is very much alive, but the pseudonym of Isabel Fall, the identity, the lived experiences coming together in concert with imagination to form a speculative work to critique deeply problematic sociopolitical structures? That is dead. Isabel Fall will never write again, even if by some miracle the person who once used the name does. Even if she ever decides to restart her transition, she will be permanently scarred by this experience, and will never again be able to share her experience with us as a way to grow our own empathy and challenge our understanding of the world. In spirit, but not body, fandom spaces murdered Isabel Fall.
And that's... fandom, anymore. That's just what is done, routinely and without question, to Bad people. Good people are Good, so they don't make mistakes, and they never go too far when dealing with Bad people. And Bad people, well, they should have thought before they did something Bad which made them Bad people.
Isabel Fall's harassment happened in early 2020, before quarantine started, but it was in so many ways a final chance for fandom to hit the breaks. A chance for fandom to think collectively about what it wanted to be, who it wanted to be for and how it wanted to do it. And fandom looked at this and said, "more, please." It continues to harass marginalized people, especially fans of color and queen fans, into suffering mental breakdowns. With gusto.
Any ideas of reparative reading is dead. Fandom runs solely on paranoid readings. And so too is restorative justice gone for fandom transgressions, real or imagined. It is now solely about punitive, vigilante justice. It's a concerted campaign to make sure oddballs conform or die (in spirit, but sometimes even physically given how often mentally ill individuals are pushed into committing suicide).
It's a deeply toxic environment and I'm sad to say that Isabel Fall's story was, in retrospect, a sort of event horizon for the fandom. The gravitational pull of these harassment campaigns is entirely too strong now and there is no escaping it. I'm sorry, I hate to say something so bleak, but thinking the last few days about the state of fandom (not just my current one but also others I watch from the outside), I just don't think we can ever go back to peaceful "for joy" engagement, not when so many people are determined to use it as an outlet for lateral aggression against other people.
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swordgrace · 2 months ago
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❝ 𝐩𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐫𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠. ❞
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┊ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: your friendship with john is put on the line after you’re injured during a mission — what follows is something neither of you can anticipate.
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𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: john walker x fem!reader.
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 13.0K.
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: smut (mdni), friends to lovers, angst, jealous & angry john, descriptions of violence & injuries, wound tending trope, talks of insecurities, “she fell first but he fell harder”, confession of feelings, john is emotionally constipated, extreme levels of yearning, john’s praise kink, grinding, dry humping, dirty talk, making out, biting, hair pulling, fingering (fem!rec), handjob, mutual orgasm. aftercare.
𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫’𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: this is a pretty big fic (sorry not sorry) and I worked really hard on it! I really hope that you guys enjoy, a lot of time & effort went into it! Thank you guys for your support! 🫶
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John Walker doesn’t understand how to handle vulnerability.
He comes close, teetering along the edge in soft-spoken conversation through the early hours of morning, or in the aftermath of a particularly rough and arduous mission.
Validation was something he subconsciously craved, the desire to feel wanted, to feel as if he was greater than the sum of his parts. Losing his rank in the military and losing Captain America screamed inadequacy; he was learning to be better.
In that journey, somewhere, he found himself getting closer with you. It often manifested in the form of teasing and sarcastic jabs, banter to keep things light, but as months ticked by, he found himself opening up.
Vulnerability strikes fear into him, greater than that of a weapon being waved in his face, or thrown into any warzone.
There’s something effortless he’s found within you, something comfortable, and that scares him. It’s kept him distanced, watching from afar, attempting to keep you at-bay, knowing the consequences of what could happen if he let himself get attached.
Everyone who gets close to him always loses — Lemar lost his life, Olivia lost a partner, his son lost a father. John had come to the realization that he didn’t want to lose you, too.
On more than one occasion, you catch glimpses of a shattered man who’s still picking up the pieces, directionless; a man who’s trying to do good, but still can’t quite get it right.
It wasn’t easy, befriending him — his cocksure smirk and arrogance often warded away others, but you, in all of your optimism, had waded through without complaint.
He’s militant, rigorous, rough; though, you’ve managed to dig just beneath the surface, where a softer man resides. He’s known for sharing, for being zealously overprotective, and for his dry, sardonic humor.
It doesn’t come as a surprise to anyone on the team when your feelings are revealed.
The both of you are two halves to a whole, lamenting to a buried and burning flame, continuing to dance around one another.
Unbeknownst to either of you, the feelings are there, and it’s powerful — you want him, he wants you.
Admittedly, you felt that it was glaringly one-sided, you liking him; you assumed it’d be unrequited for the rest of your days. The more he began to keep you at a distance, the more accepting you became of the outcome.
On the quinjet, it’s hushed with preparation, the deep breath before the plunge. The mission is somewhere oceanic, aboard a hijacked S.H.I.E.L.D helicarrier swarming with mercenaries and thieves.
The darker realm of espionage, violence, and deception is somewhat newer to you. Before being inducted into the New Avengers, you were scouted by Valentina for your abilities, avoiding time in The Raft for something you didn’t do.
Now, it all feels strange — you’re traveling the world, you’re helping people, you’re a hero.
“You’ll drop in here,” Bucky’s brows are furrowed together, a visage of stoic calm, adopting more of a leadership role. He’d run thousands of missions, dismantled armies — none of this was unusual for him. “With Walker.”
Strapped into his webbed jump-seat, John bristles at the mention of his name, and yours. He gets heated before a mission, as if he’s working himself up, noticeably coiled like some predator waiting in the wings.
There’s a visible tension in his jaw, a weight in his shoulders, white-knuckling his still-bent shield as if it’s a vice. He isn’t nervous — just impatient, ready to get the job over with.
“Say we drop in, and it’s compromised,” With a low hum, you point to the scanned layout of the helicarrier, attempting to discern a backup plan. “What should we do?” It’s a fair question, and you’re worried about the specifics.
“Double back to here, and wait for Ava to clear the path to you,” Bucky affirms, peering at Walker, who’s partially tuned-in, partially brooding. “If all goes according to plan, you shouldn’t have to rely on the backup position.”
Bucky’s close to you; too close.
John catches it in heated glances, countenance riddled with the face of jealousy’s ire, blonde brows pinched together. Unfortunately, he doesn’t mask anything well, letting his sentiments reveal themselves, rear their ugly head.
Shoulder-to-shoulder, you’re leaning in; for you, it’s an involuntary thing. Bucky’s similar to an older brother figure, offering a sense of comfort when things seem to be too much.
Though, John doesn’t see it that way; all he sees is Barnes invading your space as if it belongs to him, and you’re none the wiser.
His abdomen twists into knots, as if he’s swallowing his rage, only to make room for misery.
John Walker doesn’t understand how to handle his own affections, either.
It was simple for him to pinpoint when exactly he realized he’d liked you, too. A few months back, he’d gotten sick with frustration, toiling over Olivia moving on, finding someone else. He couldn’t blame her after everything, but the fury hadn’t subsided.
Instead, he was left raw, with this amalgamation of emotions that had twisted into some catalyst, a maelstrom of everything he’d done wrong in life.
Through this tide of navigating newfound feelings, there were plenty of moments where he’d wanted to get closer.
John thought about it often; draping a blanket over your shoulder when you’d fallen asleep in the common room, hands brushing when you’d reached for the same object, bodies ghosting over another during training sessions, his lingering stares when he thought no one else was watching.
There you were, staying up with him into the early hours of morning, before dawn’s first scrap of light could pierce the black horizon. He thought about that night more times than he could count — he thought about how much you cared, how kind you were.
It was more than he deserved, admittedly. Without a shadow of a doubt, John knew that he didn’t deserve to have you in his life, let alone like you. Things were less complicated when he kept you distanced, even if it felt completely wrong.
He figured that you getting with Bucky was his punishment for fumbling your friendship and isolating you, avoiding you. Nothing hurt worse than seeing the look in your eyes whenever he dismissed you, or kept you at arm’s length.
Then again, he didn’t want to see your blood on his hands, or have to stomach the sight of your body if he messed up, or if he let you get too close.
If he wasn’t fast enough, strong enough, good enough to protect you — he didn’t want you to end up like Lemar.
Between Bucky droning on about the mission at-hand and Alexei attempting to give some inspirational speech, your eyes find John, brows furrowing together.
There’s an established familiarity, one strong enough for you to know that he’s upset about something, frustrated. He’s not as adept at concealing his emotions as he thinks he is; whatever he’s going through, it’s branded into his countenance.
As Bucky prepares for landing on the far side of the helicarrier, John’s forlorn stare is attempting to sear through the metal walls of the jet’s interior. He seems gone, as if his mind is a thousand miles away — somewhere else entirely.
For the past month or two, he’s pushed you away, shut you out as if he’s slammed a door in your face. It stings even still, an embittered thing, and you’re left to wonder why.
You were friends, closer to him than the rest of the team, much to everyone’s amazement. Something doesn’t feel right whenever you look at him, as if he’s dragging around a weight, unwilling to let anyone else shoulder the burden.
Your feelings for him seem to complicate everything.
Quiet, you decide to sit in the jumpseat beside him, buckling yourself in, pondering how to broach the tenuous silence that lingers between you. Before, he might’ve said something insolent or made a sarcastic remark; instead, you’re met with nothing.
“When we drop in, should w—” Before you can rationally discuss tactics, John interjects.
He cuts you off, as sharp as a blade. “When we drop, you stay on my flank and don’t engage unless I tell you to.” John gruffs, uncharacteristically quipped with you, and everyone else seems to notice, too.
Startled, you’re mildly taken aback, left confused as to why he’s treating you like this. You aren’t prone to outbursts or snapping back with the same cutthroat demeanor, resorting to a sullen silence.
Yelena grimaces, nose wrinkling in a thinly-veiled disdain. “Walker, relax. She is just trying to help.” She murmurs, still attempting to work around her twinge of uncertainty about him.
John’s haughty gaze floats toward Yelena, as if he’s winding up to say something callous. Instead, the words seem to turn to ash, retort buried somewhere in the depths of his throat.
The jet tremors violently as it descends onto the helipad, the noise scraping against your ears, a sound that’s still jarring to you. John remains unphased — he’s done this hundreds of times, terse as the hull begins to open.
“Ready?” Bucky calls over the comms, quinjet descending through darkness, making a quick flight for the small helipad toward the back of the vessel.
As the hull opens, you’re quick to clamor behind John, who’s often barreling first into danger without blinking an eye. The two of you jump first, and it’s a shorter fall to the helicarrier’s landing zone, tucking and rolling as you make it down.
Swallowed by darkness, the only light happens to be the glow from various posts scattered around the area, making it difficult for you to follow his silhouette. For a man of his size, he moves quickly, enhanced by the super-soldier serum.
To your relief, your drop point isn’t compromised, not swarming with mercenaries as you thought it’d be. John takes two of them out with ease, leaving you to rush to catch up, scrambling after him as best as you can.
“Slow down, John.” You urge, watching as his shoulder rolls, head twitching as he draws his pistol. It was a waiting game, now; letting the others secure their portions of the ship and make their way forward.
“Watch my flank,” Flat, John knows that no one is likely to ambush from behind, given your location. It gives you something to do, something to distract so he can keep you pinned behind him. “That’s all you need to do.”
“I can’t do that if you’re rushing into this,” With an urgent protest, you keep watch nonetheless, eyes peeled through the darkness for any unforeseen threats. “If something happens, I don’t know if I can react in-time …”
With your powers, you’re still adjusting — it’s a constant work in-progress, testing the limits, trying to see how much you can handle. Telekinesis is nothing menial, however, you’re struggling to fully grasp the boundaries of your abilities.
“Stay behind me.” John barks, cadence akin to an angry drill sergeant instead of your teammate, your friend.
Emotions run high in the wake of his sharp tone, and you’re inclined to react, hopelessly lost as to why he’s upset with you.
“What’s wrong?” Bad time to ask, but you can’t help it anymore. “John, we’re friends. I know that something is making you frustrated.” Your poignant line of questioning invokes his scorn as he turns around, pushing you into the wall of a shipping container.
He isn’t rough, but it’s done with urgency as you narrowly avoid the prying barrel of a rifle, armed with a flashlight attachment. With bated breath, he waits for it to pass, firmly keeping an arm on your waist, caging you against cool metal.
Looking as if he’s on the verge of succumbing to rage, his nostrils flare, jaw locked as he directs his wave of anguish onto you. It’s everything, all at once — his jealousy, his anger, his feelings for you and unwillingness to act.
“We’re not doing this.” He grits, and it’s a command, not a suggestion. His voice is low, pitched with something indiscernible, and you can taste the anguish that wafts from him in hot waves.
Conceding, you appear as if you’ve been struck, wilting beneath his sharp tongue, succumbing to the blade he sinks into you. “I’m sorry — I won’t ask anymore.” Firm, your words ring in his ears; he’s guilty.
Silent, you gently step away from his grasp as if he’s burned you alive, skin stinging where he kept his hand on your waist. Deciding to focus on the mission at-hand, you leave your affections there, for now.
John’s gaze shifts toward the ground, brows pinching together, countenance warping into a mask of frustration. He’s angry with himself, above all; he hates that he’s doing this to you.
Armed mercenaries patrol the open spaces of the main deck, guarding crates of illegal weapons smuggled from various battles. There’s supposed Chitauri equipment inside, Asgardian, remnants of S.H.I.E.L.D and H.Y.D.R.A, too.
It’s easier to follow his lead, his experience far outweighing yours as he moves to find some level of cover. “We’ll make for that wall,” John murmurs, motioning toward a divot of sleek steel, several feet to your left. “Go on my mark.”
The vessel groans, shockwaves pulsing beneath your feet as an explosion fires off in the distance, a large chunk of the command center blown apart. You’re quick on the comms, pressing a button that’s built into your suit.
“Was that us or them?” You question, watching as an eruption of fire consumes the deck. John winces, moderately impressed as the both of you hang back, waiting for the right opportunity to push ahead.
“I had to improvise — you can all thank me later.” Ava’s voice reverberates over the comms, and you can envision her smirk through it all. As the mercenaries scramble to move shipments away from the blast, John’s ready to move.
As he hops over the short, concrete barrier, a sudden click hisses behind you. Every nerve in your body seems to freeze, recognizing the noise as the safety of a gun being unlatched.
“Don’t move.”
Three mercenaries stand behind you, rifles drawn, blasting columns of light into your eyes. You’re like a deer in the headlights, brain wracking, scrambling to try and figure something out.
John acts quickly, throwing his bent hunk of metal at one of them, gun clattering from his hands as he draws his pistol. He huffs like a bull when he fights, body pumping with adrenaline, jaw locked as if it might shatter.
He’s primal when he’s dismantling his opposition; smooth, experienced, and hotheaded. When it comes to morally bankrupt mercenaries, he doesn’t pull a single punch, moving like some barricade of brawny muscle.
You’re trying to disarm the second with your powers, though it’s faltering, exceedingly difficult to concentrate. Between the poor lighting, John’s agility, and your scrambled psyche, you come up empty-handed.
In the midst of the scuffle, you notice a rifle being aimed at John. It’s as if your powers know when to bleed through, as you shove him away with a pulse of your mind. He stumbles, flails, and loses his balance.
Though, it’s momentary, just enough to be a distraction so John didn’t get hurt. It’s difficult to distinguish what’s happening through the dark, save for the lights strapped to the end of rifle barrels.
The mercenary that you’d tossed to the ground is getting back up, angry.
Instead of attempting to use your abilities again, you resort to throwing a wrench at him. Before you can follow through on your movement, a gunshot rings out — and it’s not John who gets hurt.
Something sharp and piercing penetrates through your suit, slicing through thin kevlar, going right into your abdomen, somewhere on the right side of your ribcage. Agony blossoms over you, like tendrils of a scorching heat blistering over your skin.
The bullet whistles clean through, exiting with more bite and tear than how it entered. You’ve never been shot before — maimed and bruised, perhaps, but nothing grievous like this.
The wind ripped from your lungs, as if someone had stolen every scrap of air from you. It was all shock, burning and burning still, before you collapsed in a heap, hand immediately clutching at your ribs.
John’s still roughing up the remainder of the mercenaries without a shred of mercy, and once they are grounded, no longer a threat, he sees you.
It feels like he’s in Latvia again — feels like yesterday, the suffering too raw and too visceral, as if he’s reliving the memory. Time slows to a crawl, his heart nearly bursting from his chest.
Crimson begins to flourish through the fabric of your bodice, wet and hot, but you’re beginning to feel dizzy. Everything is spinning, and fear begins to settle, you’re scared. You don’t know if you were hit somewhere critical.
“John?” You croak, feeling something firm catch you before your head can knock against the concrete.
He’s not there, he’s trapped in a nightmare; reality settles in with its bitter sting and cruelty when he feels your blood on his fingertips.
“Hey, hey, stay with me,” John’s clinging onto you, shield slung on his back, cradling you in his arms, trying to get you to stay alert. “Shit, come on — She’s hit! Bucky, I’ve — She’s down!” He sounds as if he’s speaking in half-sentences, babbling and broken.
A haze forms at the fringes of your vision, blurry, and that’s when the pain begins to surge, like a hot iron being dug into your flesh. A cry of torment rips through your diaphragm, every breath feeling labored, as if you’re heaving.
He’s carried men from the trenches of war torn countries, he’s saved hostages, he’s dragged barely-conscious bodies through the desert.
Nothing could’ve prepared John for this, for you laying bleeding in his arms, latching onto him, startled and in unimaginable pain. Any sliver of calm has left him, replaced with anguish, with panic, with an amalgamation of emotions.
“You’re gonna be fine,” John chokes, attempting to calm you and himself, but nothing is working. “Gonna be okay, just — Hey, just focus on me.” He’s lifting you into his arms, knowing that it might make things worse, but he’s got to get you somewhere safe.
The trauma he carries with him still seems to split open like a dam, bringing with it an overwhelming sense of anguish, of suffering. John is suffocating beneath the weight of it all, and in that darkness, he’s scared of losing you.
He should’ve told you how he felt, he shouldn’t have pushed you away, should’ve been a better man — should’ve been stronger, faster.
John feels like he’s drowning, swept away within a riptide, an unforgiving current that’s threatening to wash him away. He wonders if that’s what he deserves — erased, to slip away and let the world forget.
When he feels you gripping his arm like a vice, those feelings begin to disappear. “J—John,” You stammer, voice hoarse, thick with turmoil as you cringe at the pain. “Don’t go anywhere, please.” Able to get out a string of words, your consciousness begins to waver.
“I’m right here,” John’s stoic cadence warbles, wrought with the thickness of emotion as he tries to stay calm for you. He’s trying to pull you to safety, get you onto the quinjet, holding you firm to his chest. “Stay awake, stay with me.”
“Walker, what’s your location?” Bucky doesn’t sound nearly as panicked as John, but there’s a terse edge to his voice, something coiled.
Another explosion shakes the deck, and he nearly barrels over, keeping his footing firm to avoid losing his grip on you. You’re threading along the fringes of consciousness, gaze half-lidded, visage drawn up into one of discomfort.
“Drop point,” John shouts over the comms, petrified, something fearful in his voice, which happens to crack at the end. “She’s hit bad, you need to get here now!”
Struggling to keep yourself afloat, your grasp is weakening, anchored to the front of his body armor like a tether to reality. “M’okay,” You slur, your voice little more than a murmur. “Still here.” It’s mostly to placate John, who’s looking completely lost.
Panicked, cerulean hues stare at you through the dark, holding steadfastly to you as the quinjet descends a few feet away. John moves, trying to avoid jostling you around as the hull begins to open.
“I got you, I got you.” John’s chanting it to himself like some mantra, noticing the glazed look in your eyes. Tendrils of burning agony continue to plume through your abdomen, blood warm, oozing from your wound.
In the back of the quinjet, there’s several crates of items stolen from the helicarrier, one of which Valentina had specifically asked for. The rest of the team is there, and Yelena moves to the edge, helping the both of you in.
Everyone becomes blurry, hovering around you, but you can’t see faces. You hear John more than the rest — he’s angry. “Put pressure on the wound,” He barks, feeling his hand shakily smooth over your crown. “Bucky, you need to hurry!”
Bucky’s reply is indiscernible, but you can only assume that he’s attempting to console John from the pilot’s cockpit. John says something back, sharp, like a dog that’s biting at a handler.
Voices begin to drown away, as if it’s all become mere background noise, a dismal hum. Consciousness wanes, bleeding away at the edges, and your grip on John’s chest falls slack.
All at once, everything fades to black.
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Dizzying, blanched light pools around your peripheral when you finally rouse from unconsciousness, and the agony that’s festering in your ribs has become a dull, incessant ache.
A sharp inhale pierces your lungs as you attempt to gather your bearings, and you feel something soft, cushioned beneath you. The Watchtower’s medbay is stark and glittering, a newer addition that’s seen some use.
Beneath your brow, your head throbs something awful, and as the grogginess begins to wear off, your surroundings become crystalline. Everything seems too sterile, too sanitized.
Tangled in pale hospital sheets, you glance to your left — nothing, empty; save for the other medical beds and metallic fixtures.
It’s what’s on your right side that startles you.
John is slumped in a chair, half-dressed in his suit, navy-blue compression shirt clinging to his musculature. He’s dozing off, head tilted back along the seat’s rim, chest rising and falling with shallow, steady breaths.
Blonde tresses are disheveled, glistening with a layer of dampness; he must’ve taken a shower. There’s a yellowing bruise behind his left ear, countenance grizzled with his beard, noticeably rugged.
Something wet clings to your ribs, prompting you to pull up the hem of your shirt to find a cluster of gauze and bandages wrapped over your wound. Dried crimson stains the linen, but in much smaller amounts than before.
Inevitably, your gaze shifts back to John, whose visage seems less anguished when he’s resting. His brows are still furrowed, but there’s a prominent lack of frustration present.
He was painfully handsome; you always found him attractive, but it’s enhanced when he’s simply existing. Part of you wonders how long he’s been sitting here for — how long you’ve been bedridden.
In his lap, he’s got one of your sweatshirts, which is a peculiar sight, one that makes you curl with warmth. Gooseflesh courses over your spine, a shiver following after as you shift against the mattress.
Swinging your legs out from underneath your sheets, you attempt to stand, wobbling slightly as you find your footing. The tile is blisteringly cold beneath your heels, and you feel jabs of a throbbing ache spread through your side.
The bed creaks, a faint metallic grinding that reverberates throughout the room. Before you can quietly creep from the mattress, John is stirring in the chair beside you.
“What are you doing?” It’s the first question he asks, tone clipped, as if you’re doing something wrong. Running a hand over his face, he lets out a soft grunt, readjusting to his surroundings.
“Getting something to drink,” Through a hoarse croak, you swallow, attempting to quench the dryness that burns in your throat. “I didn’t want to wake you up.”
“I’ll get it,” John murmurs, aloof as he stands from the chair with a low groan. Muscles are sore, bone-deep from the mission, but he knows that he’ll endure. “You sit back down.” His command is noticeably gentle.
“Thank you,” With a smile, you shuffle back into bed, nonplussed by the ripples of slight pain. Admittedly, you weren’t expecting the wound to feel so light; it’s only aching. “How long have I been out?”
Striding toward the sink, John fills up a glass of water, sleeves of his shirt rolled toward his elbows. Corded muscle wraps taut around his forearms, dusted with blonde hair and a myriad of scrapes and bruises.
“Twelve hours, give or take,” His bedside manners are surprisingly intact, more than you thought possible. He’s avoided you so much lately that having him back feels nice. “Might need to change your dressing.”
Quiet, your hand falls to your ribs, fingertips lightly flicking over the gauze, over tufts of white. “Have you been here the whole time?” Your tone was gentle, tender; everything seemed to crawl to a low hum.
Through terse shoulders and a brief sigh, John answered you. “Bucky came by a little while ago,” He murmured, returning to you with a glass of freezing water. “Yelena, too.”
He didn’t answer your question fully, which didn’t go unnoticed. With a nod, you took several greedy swigs of water, your throat soothed by cool liquid, adjusting your position.
“I didn’t ask about Bucky or Yelena,” Clicking your tongue, your gaze shifts to John, almost pleading with him for some semblance of truth. “Thank you for staying with me.” Maintaining a cordial smile, you placed the glass aside.
John nodded, a subtle gesture that held more meaning than he let on. A silence settled between, more uncomfortable than tranquil, prompting him to rifle around for medical supplies.
Basic first aid was ingrained into him, but there was some wariness he felt with patching you up. It was all closeness, a growing intimacy that made his bones blister.
He liked you so much, wanted you so terribly that it began to gnaw away at him — and he felt entirely undeserving.
Bruises dust his knuckles, hands visibly rattling with a subtle tremor. He’s steady when he fights — assured, confident, lethal.
With you, in the gentle silence and unspoken feelings, he starts to feel the pressure mounting, the nerves.
“Should be healed in a few weeks,” John murmurs, stepping towards the edge of the mattress, subtly gesturing for you to move closer. “You got hit at close-range.” He says it as if it’s a painful memory.
Memories float at the fringes of your mind, and what you remember most is John; he never once left your side, toiling over you, and the panic. The mortifying fear in his eyes was something you remembered the most.
“It doesn’t feel that bad.” With a shrug, you move toward the edge, swinging your legs over the side. Awkwardness sweeps in as you lift your shirt, shy beneath his stare, which is unusually warm.
John swallows, jaw ticking, knuckles white as he clutches the roll of gauze. When you lift your shirt, there’s a blotch of dark crimson, nothing too severe, but he’s left feeling guilty.
He told you to cover his flank, and you were ambushed — he should’ve known better. Cerulean hues settle over your wound, brows furrowing before he reaches down to unravel the soiled bandages.
Calloused fingertips brush over bare flesh, and the both of you shiver as if you’ve been electrified. Gooseflesh follows in a wave, snaking over your flesh, causing you to clear your throat to relieve a sliver of tension.
He’s standing between your legs, broad musculature creating something of a gap, staring down at you with an indiscernible gleam. The closeness is sudden, exhilarating; you can feel the heat wafting from his body.
“You’ve been really distant lately,” It’s quiet, your observation; your cadence lacks any real malice, only perturbation. “I miss our friendship.” Sullen, your confession makes him inhale, a sharp and poignant sound that splits his lungs.
John distracts himself by prying your old linens aside, tossing them onto a metal tray that sits beside your bed. “Yeah,” He knows it’s his fault. “I’ve got a lot on my mind.” A partial truth, but it’s better than fibbing to you outright.
He’s jealous, he’s angry, he’s riddled with guilt.
It’s an amalgamation of everything negative, of everything sour and rotten that sits inside of him, burning a hole right through. John knows that he isn’t a stellar example of a man, but he’s trying to do good. He wants to do right by you.
“How long will it take for you to realize that I’m here for you? That I can handle the truth, no matter how ugly it is?” Even then, you never raise your voice, sitting soundly as John inspects your stitches, countenance pinched together.
“I don’t want to get in the way.” He grits, and he fights the urge to sound disgustingly bitter. Jealousy is an emotion he doesn’t handle well, something volatile; anger, too.
Bewildered, you wince when he dabs antiseptics against your agitated flesh, and he’s swift to apologize. A soft groan of discomfort slips past your mouth, teeth clenching.
“Sorry,” John soothes, blonde brows creased together, his visage one of immediate apology as his hand recoils. “I’m sorry.” He huffs, flesh crawling when he realizes he accidentally hurt you.
Bruised knuckles graze over your abdomen, as if he’s offering another apology through touch alone. The sensation makes you quiver, digits tensing into the pale sheets beneath you.
“It’s alright,” With a smile, your gaze flutters toward his hands again, mapping every bruise, scrape, scar — you notice the slight tremor again. “You’re good at this.” You remark, attempting to placate him.
With a sardonic chuckle, John makes a face, as if he’s in a state of mild disbelief. “Not really.” He counters, gruff, gently cleaning your wound, eyes traveling over your features. You’re so beautiful, and it makes him nervous.
“Take a compliment, John.” There’s a softer lilt to your tone, one that eases the coiled frustration that carries in his shoulders. The smile you give him is saccharine, the sweetest thing he’s ever seen.
Writhing around, your movement makes it increasingly difficult for him to steady the gauze over your wound. “Stop moving.” He quips, as if he’s reverting back to being in some perpetual state of frustration.
Nodding, you mumble an apology, allowing him to thread the linen around your torso. He ensured that he was exceedingly gentle when it came to the flesh around your wound.
There’s a beat of silence, one that stretches on for too long, causing you to break it with a question. “Why do you think you’re getting in the way?” Your inquiry takes him by surprise.
“What?” John plays dumb, knowing that he shouldn’t have said anything. You’re often too curious, but you care — you care so deeply for him, and it’s written on your face.
“You said that you didn’t want to get in the way,” Trying again, your brows crease together, chin jutting forward as you maintain a steady stare. “I’m not sure what you’re getting in the way of.”
Cornering him, John doesn’t know what to say — maybe he needed to say it, to get it out in the open. If you acknowledged your relationship with Bucky, maybe it would be what he needed to try and move on from his feelings for you.
His jaw is tight, unnaturally so; the muscle might snap into two from how hard he’s clenching. With a stinging inhale, he decides to broach the subject with a blunt tone, but the bitterness sits heavy.
“You and Barnes.” John grits, hearing the startled gasp that escapes your mouth. Judging from your expression, this came as a surprise to you.
He’s jealous — the realization hits you all at once, and everything begins to slowly click into place. The indifference, the avoidance, the sudden bite of frustration — he thinks you’re with Bucky. It couldn’t have been further from the truth.
“John,” Bewildered, you attempt to refute his claim, but he’s interjecting, as if his mouth is flying before his brain has time to catch up. “That’s not …”
“Wish you would’ve told me.” He grouses, even though it isn’t remotely close to the truth. The distance between bodies is nearly nonexistent, and you’re face-to-face with his sternum, feeling his fingers ghost beside your thigh.
“I don’t like Bucky,” You mumble, which visibly catches him off-guard. “I’ve never viewed him as anything more than a brother, and he feels the same way.” Once that’s out in the open, John feels incredibly stupid.
Dumbfounded, his countenance contorts from a thinly-veiled frustration to something forlorn, and then he realizes how blind he’s been. He’s been punishing you for something you had no part in, keeping away because he thought it best.
Through a tight throat and dry mouth, you know then and there that you want to tell him — tell him everything. Your feelings are overwhelming in the heat of the moment, coercing you into a confession.
“I don’t like Bucky because I like you,” In one tremulous exhale, you say it, let it slip into the gap of silence and sit with it. “I wish you’d stop pushing me away.” Through a whisper, you try to slow your breathing, but it’s quick.
John freezes, blonde lashes fluttering as he attempts to register what you said. There’s a sense of disbelief that accompanies the shock, but it dissipates when he looks at you.
It’s love he sees, a tender affection that doesn’t scorn his past or see the facade — you see him, and that’s what matters most. “I don’t think I’m good enough for you.” He says it through a throttled neck, cadence thick with anguish.
“That’s not true,” Insistent, you reach for his arm, digits cold over his flesh, like kisses of ice. “John, when I look at you, I don’t see your mistakes. I just see you, and I like the man that I see.”
The blood on his hands feels heavy, like some anchor dragging him down. After being stripped of the role of Captain America, of everything, spiraling, losing his family, he briefly considered it — a way out.
He was glad that he never went through with it; he found you somewhere along the way, and that was more important to him than anything else. There’s still part of him that hates himself — but he’s healing, he’s making room for you.
John shakes his head, nostrils flaring. “This is my fault,” He gruffs, brows pinched together. “Shouldn’t have told you to watch my flank. You wouldn’t be here right now, you’d be —”
“Stop it,” Before he can spiral into an infinite cycle of self-blame, you interject, ensuring that he doesn’t rake himself over the coals for this. “You can’t predict the outcome. You didn’t know we’d get ambushed.”
“But I should’ve known,” John snarls, malice not directed at you; it’s inward, and he’s crawling with fury toward himself. “I’m better than that. If I’m not, if I lose you …” He huffs, shoulders tight with tension.
“You didn’t. I’m right here, I’m fine — John, look at me,” Through a tender utterance, you coax him into meeting your gaze, breath hitching. He’s staring at you with the look of love. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
Hushed, his head jostles in a nod of acknowledgment, opting to take your words to heart, even if the guilt still lingers. One hand holds your hip, thumb tracing circles over your exposed flesh, keeping you close to him.
“You’re too good,” John utters, knuckles dragging along the underside of your jaw, the gesture making your breath hitch within your throat. “I don’t understand how you do it.” A brief huff sticks in the back of his throat.
“I’m not perfect, John — nobody is,” All of you wants all of him; imperfections, flaws, heart — everything matters to you. “What I do know is that I’m tired of going on like this, tired of not being with you.”
Crimson snakes over his features, an incessant heat that consumes him like wildfire. He’s tired of it too, pretending like he doesn’t want you. He cups your jaw, palm rough like leather, thumb smoothing over your cheek.
“I think you’re perfect,” He whispers, reverent as he gazes longingly at you, heart aching so bad that it produces a dull throbbing within his chest. “You’ve got me.” John confirms with a sense of finality, foreheads ghosting over one another.
John doesn’t fully trust falling in love after his divorce — but he does it anyway, he keeps falling for you, and falling again.
Beneath your chest, your heart is nearly ripping right from your sternum, threatening to combust as you wait for him to say something. Maybe you’re waiting for the real rejection, or something else — you aren’t sure.
Cerulean hues study the delicate curve of your jaw, sweeping over your mouth; it’s familiar, he’s done it a hundred times whenever you weren’t looking. This time, it carries a certain heaviness, a torrent of feelings finally revealing themselves.
“Can I kiss you?” John rasps, as if he’s a man dying in a desert, desperate for the quench of water. His hands shift to cradle your hips, thumbs circling over your waist.
“Please.” Nearly breathless, you’re nodding, feeling him dip to your level, scratch of his beard prickling against your mouth. It’s a slow kiss, oozing with unbridled affection, the one he’s staved off for so long.
He’s typically rough; a rough mouth, rougher disposition, rough around the edges.
It comes as a surprise when he kisses you as if you’re delicate, something he’s terrified to break. He moves sluggishly, a crawl that only seems to build, the tension rising to steady simmer.
The kiss stretches on without pause, and you’re melting into him. Within the threading limbs and desperate mouths, your heartbeat crescendos, nervous system alert, nerves set ablaze.
It is in your kiss that he finds a semblance of peace, hunger continuing to grow until it becomes some ravenous bite. Mouths ceaselessly collide, wet and fervent, prompting you to reach for his bicep in order to anchor yourself.
Digits thread themselves into his compression shirt, tensing over spandex, involuntarily tugging him closer, distance between bodies now nonexistent. John is caged in around you, withdrawing enough to feel your exhale plume over his lips.
Wordlessly, he’s searching for you to continue, and you do, mouth returning to his own, intimately comfortable. It’s something he’s dreamt about a thousand times — and now, it’s a fantasy made reality.
The kiss deepens, warping into something passionate, embers kindled to a low flame, igniting a wildfire within your belly.
You’re craving his touch, feeling rough palms stroke soothing circles over your hips, grazing bare skin.
He feels safe, a sanctuary that you’re content to dwell within. As if to test the waters, your hand begins to trail from his chest to his shoulder, fingertips dancing upward.
Your palm splays over the nape of his neck, toying with blonde tresses. A low grunt splits through his chest, the kiss beginning to climb with intensity, mouths clamoring, desperate.
Footsteps reverberate somewhere from beyond the medbay, swiftly approaching, which prompts John to untether himself from you. He’s disappointed, stepping away from you with an agitated sound as Bucky lingers in the doorway.
Scarlet clings to John’s neck, a low huff escaping him as Bucky clears his throat. “You’re awake,” He remarks, noticing Walker’s unusual demeanor and your startled expression. “Feeling alright?”
The way you look at Bucky is humorously pointed, as if you’re mildly annoyed by his untimely interruption, and John sees it. You really do look at Bucky as if he’s some pesky older sibling; it’s not the way you look at him.
“I’m just fine,” You assure, hands folded within your lap as you attempt to squash the butterflies floating around in your stomach. The smile you’re wearing is infectious, happy. “John’s been looking after me.”
Bucky doesn’t conceal his smirk, pretending to act innocent, as if he has no clue about anything. You’ve confided in him more than once about your feelings for John — and John’s reluctantly done the same thing.
“Right, I’m sure he has,” Through a flash of pearlescent teeth and a streak of teasing humor, Bucky takes the terse silence as his queue to leave. “There’s pizza, if either of you are hungry.” He offers, leaning off of the doorframe.
John feels as if he’s burning, the back of his neck singed with heat as he peers at Bucky, and there’s a knowing look that passes between. “Thanks, Barnes.” He murmurs, mouth twitching into a brief smile before Bucky wanders off.
When he’s out of your periphery, John sits down next to you, leg-to-leg, hand gently resting over your thigh, thumb tracing circles over soft skin.
There’s a tranquil hush that passes between, the two of you sharing a longing glance. Leaning in, you find your purchase again the bulk of his bicep, firm beneath your cheek.
“I like you, too.” John murmurs, low and rumbling beside your ear, ensnaring your attention without any effort. Admittedly, he knew what he felt for you was stronger, overpowering — he was falling hard, and falling fast.
The bravado and swagger seem nonexistent when he’s alone with you, as if he’s stripped down to the rawest parts of himself, the parts he’s only willing to let you see.
Whatever facade he puts on, whatever barriers he constructed, they drop.
Tucking strands of hair behind your ear, he’s effortlessly charming, oozing with a veiled affection as he leans in to claim your mouth. The kiss is briefer than the one before, and he feels your hand press over his knee.
John can taste the sweetness of your lips, the way that you absentmindedly lean closer, ignoring the wretched ache that pulses through your ribs.
He caresses the small of your back, digits teasing bare flesh, thumbing over your bandages. A shudder passes through you, caught within the labyrinth of his mouth, a maze that you have no desire to escape from.
As if to shatter the moment, your stomach snarls with hunger, and you realize that it’s almost been a full day since you’ve last eaten anything. You reluctantly withdraw, visibly embarrassed as you clear your throat.
“Ruined the moment,” You murmur, but John doesn’t seem bothered, a smirk curling at his mouth, blonde brows lifting in amusement. “Did you mean what you said earlier, about liking me?”
“Yeah,” There’s a sincerity in his tone that you don’t often hear, but he’s genuine; he means what he says. Low, his cadence drops to a lull, timbre wrought with warmth. “You’ve got no idea what you do to me.” He murmurs, brows furrowing.
A hitch forms within your throat, an exhilarated sound that he catches between his teeth, visage swirling with a torrent of emotions.
John is a storm — tempestuous, veiled with scars and insecurities, a maelstrom of a man that you’ve learned to navigate. He calms with you, finds a sense of peace in the quiet, and he lets you read his heart.
“What do I do to you?” Barely above a whisper, you’re vexed to know what he means, what feelings have lingered, long repressed. It’s an innocuous question, festering with underlying implications, and he knows this.
A soft huff escapes him, and he smooths a kiss over your brow, easing you off of the mattress. “Think you need to eat first.” John chides, and you don’t pursue his earlier remark, letting him help you onto solid ground.
Flustered, you’re moving together, and he grabs your sweatshirt from the chair, helping you to pull it on over your head to help with the chill.
There aren’t any surprised faces when you and John come to dinner together — and frankly, it was long overdue.
Everyone notices — he sits closer, he’s hovering around you, serving you food as if you’re incapable, smothering a smile when you aren’t looking.
Though, John tries his best to keep it subdued, even if it’s far from the truth.
“She lives! Was so worried about you!” Alexei bellows, caging your upper half in a bear-like hug, his knuckles scratching over your crown. “Ah, but she’s strong, eh? Not even bullet can stop you.” He grinned, prompting you to laugh.
John has the expression of a worried father, jaw terse, twitching when Alexei manhandles you. “Easy,” He warns, afraid of you getting hurt, or something else. “She’s still recovering.”
Ava rolls her eyes, amused by John’s behavior — he’s so in love that it’s sickening to behold. “I’m sure she’ll be fine, Walker.” She mused, feet kicked up onto the arm of the couch, a slice of pizza lodged into one hand.
“Thank you, Alexei.” You smile, patting the Russian’s thick forearm before he releases you. You’re quick to eat, staving off starvation, sating the incessant growl that lurches within your stomach.
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When dinner is over and the team disperses, John is nearly attached to your hip; he’d deny it, but it’s glaringly obvious. He’s by your side when he walks you to your room, your gait sluggish as you make it to the door.
“Feeling alright?” John probes, ushering you inside before the thick pane hisses shut behind you. You’re met with a welcoming hush, rubbing the sleeves of your sweatshirt together.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Placating, you clear your throat, shuffling towards your bed. “Do you … Do you want to stay the night here?” The question itself is shy, shrewd. You don’t want to overstep any boundaries, but you don’t want him to leave, either.
John exhales; it’s subtle, hitched with a twinge of exhilaration. He nods, pretending that it’s under the guise of watching over you, but in all actuality, he wants to be close. “Someone’s gotta watch you.” He murmurs, prompting you to smile.
“I think we can be honest with one another,” Your remark carries as you wander toward the bathroom, planning on brushing your teeth until your gums ooze with mint. “It goes beyond that.”
He’s like a watchdog, a protector, trailing after you even when you’re only a few feet away. Lingering in the doorframe, arms loosely folded over his chest, he’s ogling you. “You caught me.” John’s cadence softens, jaw tight.
Admittedly, he hasn’t felt this since Olivia — and even then, they were high school sweethearts. John hadn’t had another partner other than her, he never loved someone like he loved you.
There’s a sliver of awkwardness that accompanies him, as if he’s wading into uncharted territory; thrilling, but it makes him nervous. He doesn’t want to screw anything up with you like he almost did before.
“I like you a lot,” He utters, low and confessing. Toothbrush in-hand, you swivel just enough to face him, doe-eyed, ardent. “I don’t want to screw this up.” John admits, as if it’s painful for him to do so.
Talking about his feelings, being vulnerable — it’s all relatively new for him. Though, he knows that he trusts you wholeheartedly, and he knows that this is how he heals, how he improves.
He wants to be the best that he can be for you.
Smitten, you gaze at him as if he’s everything; he was your friend first, but now, he’s something more. It all feels right, like a puzzle piece slotting into place, and you can’t imagine it differently.
“You won’t, John. We’re in this together.” Reassuring, you flash a tender smile, leaning against the bathroom counter as a brace, lashes fluttering. You have faith in him, believing in him when he scarcely believes in himself.
John’s mouth twitches into a threadbare smile, still observing you as you begin to brush your teeth, using an obscene amount of arctic-mint toothpaste. His nose wrinkles at the sight. “Jesus, bad breath?” He teases.
Through furrowed brows, you’re scrubbing at your teeth as if they’re covered in grime, hastily dragging the bristles over the flat of your tongue. You repeat this pattern longer than what’s considered appropriate before gargling water.
“No, just … If we kiss again, I wanted to make sure that it wasn’t off-putting.” Your admission is one of embarrassment, but he doesn’t seem perturbed in the slightest. It’s the opposite — he’s magnetized by you, instead.
“If?” His head cocks to the left, as if the mere idea of not kissing you is preposterous. Blonde tresses sweep near his temples, disheveled, amusement scrawled onto his features. He swaggers closer, one hand dropping to your hip.
A shaky breath coagulates within the back of your throat, lips parted. “If.” You confirm, but it’s shattered, and he stoops down enough to capture your mouth in a passionate kiss.
A soft whine escapes your mouth, swallowed by your entanglement, lost within his lips. John kisses you gently, pouring his need into it, all of the pent-up affection he’s wanted to give to you.
A calloused hand steadies over your hip, thumb gingerly circling over your hip bone, the other ghosting across the small of your back.
Wedged against his musculature, your hands shift to the nape of his neck, fingertips toying with the blonde tresses there. He’s so warm, extinguishing the prevalent chill that grips your body.
His beard scratches against your mouth, a pleasant prickling that reminds you he’s real, flesh and blood, a beating heart. John exhales; a steady, exaggerated sound, attempting to cling to the fine line of restraint.
A charged passion echoes through the kiss, becoming increasingly heated, the longer you stand and reciprocate. Lips meld together, seamless, as if you’re made for one another.
Everything feels perfect — John’s been wanting this for months, and now that he has it, it’s almost overwhelming.
Snaking beneath the hem of your sweatshirt, his palm finds your bare flesh, caressing circles over the base of your spine. Another sound scrapes from your throat, digits interlocking over the back of his neck.
Each kiss oozes with a fiery want, and the more you entangle yourself into him, the more he wants you.
John is trying to keep things tame, given that your newfound relationship was in its infancy, but he couldn’t help himself.
Reluctant to withdraw, he stops, checking you to see if you’re still comfortable. “Still with me?” He murmurs, body flush against you, firm expanse of his chest brushing over yours.
With a nod, you’re unable to smother your smile, peering up at him through your lashes. Hands wander toward his broad shoulders, and then to his biceps, digits tensing over the muscle there. “Yeah,” You hum. “I’m a little cold.”
“Think I can help with that.” John’s mouth curls into a brief smirk, one that ignites a low fire within your belly. He plants another kiss to your jaw, catching the shudder that fans throughout your body.
You catch a glimpse of that cocksure, smug demeanor that had enticed you so much in the first place, followed by an underlying softness. Behind closed doors, he’s the first to succumb, handling you with a disarming gentleness.
“You’re a saint.” Your smile widens to a smitten beam as the both of you make for your bed. It’s as if you’re choked by your own anxieties — you can’t remember the last time you shared a bed with someone else.
John huffs, a hint of amusement tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Let me go change.” He nods, moving to slip out of your room. He disappears, leaving you alone, even if it isn’t for very long.
With measured steps, you crawl into bed, comforter shrouding around your body, and you’re met with some relief from the cold. There’s a gap of quiet — gives you time to think, process what’s happened.
It almost feels ethereal, as if you’re trapped in a distant dream; John likes you, you like him. A smile tugs at your mouth, giggling to yourself like some excitable schoolgirl with a glaring crush.
Settling against your pillow, your hands loosely fold over your chest, a dull stitch pulsing through your right rib cage. Minutes tick by as you wait for him to come back, drumming your fingers over your comforter.
Another minute passes, and then five; the door suddenly opens, startling and sudden as you lurch within your bed. Your gaze flutters toward him, glued to the compression shirt and sweatpants combination.
Wordlessly, John gets into bed with you, making sure that he sticks to your left side. For him, it’s been a long time since he’s slept with someone — even before his divorce, he was sleeping on the couch.
John stills, laying on his back as he invites you closer with an arm. “Come here.” It’s soft, he’s soft for you. The mattress shifts beneath you as you scoot over, keeping to your left side, curling into him with your head against his collarbone.
“Can I ask you something?” Your inquiry pierces through the tenuous silence, and there’s some momentary relief you gain from it.
He adjusts, cerulean hues flickering toward you, taking in the delicate plate of your visage. You rip the air from his lungs without even trying; John’s hand caresses the back of your shoulder.
“Yeah.” John’s tone is barely above a whisper, warm; it sends pleasant waves through your stomach. Attentive, he waits for your question, turning enough to see you fully.
“Why didn’t you tell me about how you felt?” You’re not accusatory, just curious. Even then, you want to know what stayed his hand, or prevented him from telling you the truth.
John’s jaw tenses, a catalyst of something forlorn brewing within his eyes. There’s a brief pause of consideration; he wants to be transparent, you deserve that. “Didn’t think you’d want me, because of everything I’ve done.”
Blinking, you roll onto your left side, albeit sluggishly, and he lets you rest your head against his bicep. A dab of cologne clings to him, and you nearly smile; that’s what took him so long to come back.
“John …” Through a gentle murmur, your hand slides toward his chest, circling over his collar. “We’ve all made mistakes. I don’t expect anything different, and you’re healing.” You caution, and he seems somewhat appreciative.
The vulnerability is something he’s still growing accustomed to — rawness of pain, feeling his emotions, choosing the right way to cope.
Oftentimes, he felt like the greatest mistake of all, a dog who needed to be put down. It was a dark mindset, taking him to a place that he’d worked tirelessly to claw out of.
“I’ve made a lot of mistakes,” He grits, tongue running over his teeth as he shakes his head. “I didn’t want to tarnish you, or drag you down with me. I …” John tapers off, throat working, shoulders tight with tension.
Sometimes he goes around pretending as if the weight of his past doesn’t crush him; with you, the load feels lighter, a burden he can shoulder. You’re waiting, expectant yet patient, mere breaths apart, and you’re understanding.
“I am scared of losing you,” With that confession, a heaviness seems relinquished from his chest. He isn’t one to admit that he’s afraid, let alone drag it out into the open. “Scares the hell out of me, because I don’t know who I’ll be if you’re gone.”
A hitch forms within your throat, lips parting as a gasp inhabits your lungs. Everything shifts, his admission leaving you burning; your hand searches for his own, ice upon fire.
“You won’t lose me,” Insistent, you curl closer, flush against one another; you can hear his low, sharp inhale, warmth radiating from his body. “I’m yours, John — for as long as you want me.”
John swallows, gaze turning to something incendiary, shadowed by ardor and by desire. A rough hand snakes to hold your hip, curling into the cotton material of your shorts. “Yeah?” He utters, lips dangerously close.
“Yeah.” The way he’s staring at you is nothing short of complete and utter devotion; that’s how you know he’s genuine. The palm that’s pressed over the back of your shoulder slides over your spine, and you shiver.
“I want to show you how much I want you,” He gruffs, cadence thick with something husky, something needy. John knows where this will take him, take you — he’s never wanted anything more. “If that’s alright.”
He’s charming — effortlessly handsome, and it makes your flesh burn with an embarrassed heat. Intimacy with him is something you crave, and you’re ready for it; you need him as you do air.
“More than alright.” You whisper, breathless, and his mouth hotly clamors for yours. It’s an explosion of fireworks, of pent-up affection, of an ardor that’s been smothered beneath uncertainty.
The both of you are certain now, and that’s what matters most. His kiss is disarmingly gentle, something unexpected, but not unwelcome. You feel his body nudge against yours, distance now nonexistent.
Lips collide, collide, collide — you swear that he kisses you hoarse, beard scratching over your mouth, the sensation pleasant.
Each kiss sends you spiraling, clawing for his mouth, leaving you ragged, desperate for his touch. You can’t remember the last time someone kissed you like this — kissed you with a sense of finality.
A low moan bubbles from your throat, trapped within the snare of his kiss, and you’re pressing into him. John subtly slots a thigh between your legs, causing you to spasm at the sudden contact.
“John,” With a hoarse whisper, his name rolls from your tongue, wanton. A warm exhale feathers over his mouth, lips ghosting over one another, never too far apart. “John.”
John grunts, hot breath fanning over your features, mouth peppering across your cheek, instead. His lips make contact with your jaw, mouth clamoring over your skin, kissing the spot beneath your ear.
Flustered, you’re quick to melt into him, visibly smitten, as if you’ve wound yourself into a tight knot. John notices, mouth twitching into a smirk as he places a string of kisses beneath your jawline.
He’s careful, steady — he takes his time with you, savoring, wanting to explore your body. His lips plume over your throat, hips brushing against yours, and that’s when you feel it.
Something firm sits heavy, just below your belly, oozing with heat. A noise echoes from John’s throat, somewhere between a grunt and groan when you shift against him.
“That’s what you do to me,” John murmurs, voice low, curling thickly as his hands rub circles into your hips. “You drive me crazy.” He huffs; he doesn’t know how to handle it.
He’s strong, secure — there’s a protective edge to him, caged around you. Again, you shift, allowing your core to rock over his thigh, knee brushing over the growing tent in his sweatpants.
Swallowing a groan, John’s hands curl into the hem of your sweatshirt, nudging at the fabric. “Don’t want to hurt you.” He rumbles, asking for your consent before taking things further.
“You won’t.” Reassuring, you shuffle, sitting up enough for him to pry your sweatshirt aside, gingerly lifting the baggy garment over your head. You’re still wearing a t-shirt, which you initiate in removing.
The both of you are partially beneath the comforter, the room cast in an inky darkness, save for the soft glow of the light over your headboard. Tension blisters like wildfire between you, bodies flush, clothes shuffling.
Timidly, your hands wander to the hem of his compression shirt, gaze searching his, and he’s happy to comply. “Little eager, huh?” John chides, tone low, playful. It makes you flustered, shrewd beneath his stare.
“Maybe.” Through a sweet whisper, you recline backwards, just enough to give him space, navy spandex peeled away to reveal raw muscle. Your jaw slacks, mesmerized; he’s stupidly handsome.
Broad shoulders coil with slivers of tension, blanketed in light freckles, scars, and nearly-healed bruises. Biceps curl beside you, thick and firm, something for you to hold onto.
A dusting of blonde hair covers his chest, trailing over his abdomen and slipping beneath his waistband; it makes your head spin.
John exhales, cerulean hues drifting over your body, over the pallid gauze, mapping out every inch of you like you’re a constellation. “You’re so beautiful.” He purrs, palm grasping at your haunch.
Rough, careworn hands begin to caress beneath your dress, digits snaring into the soft cotton of your shorts. Sluggishly, he teases the waistband, neglecting to push past like you want him to.
“You can touch me,” Coaxing him, you notice the little twitch of his jaw, gaze glazed with a sheen of unbridled desire. “Don’t think I can go the whole way, but I still want you.”
“When you’re healed up, we’ll do this again.” John says it like a promise, a solemn oath that you desperately want him to keep. His lips search for yours, and he’s urging you in for a kiss, hand slipping between your legs.
Between slow kisses, you’re prodding him. “Already thinking about the next time?” With a teasing lilt, you shiver when calloused fingertips slip beneath the waistband of your shorts.
John bites back a smirk, palpable against your mouth as he plants a kiss there, musculature enveloping you, impenetrable. “Can you blame me?” He murmurs, digits finding your core.
Urging him in for another kiss, you’re lost within the heated labyrinth of his lips, savoring that rugged scratch of his beard. A low moan rouses within your chest, caught between your mouths.
Seeking the warmth between your legs, you nearly choked upon a strangled gasp as John’s digits ghosted along your slit. Arousal had gathered there, akin to the sticky sweetness of honey, prompting you to shiver beside him.
Wordlessly, he pushed deeper still, fingers pressing into your cunt. As he pushed past your folds, you moaned, the noise strangled, lost between the constant kisses and clawing sighs.
“You like that?” John gruffs into your mouth, a half-growl, pulling an excitable gasp from your lungs. He feels you nodding, and he begins to adjust, hovering over you, hand working against your cunt.
You squirmed, cunt aching for him in every way imaginable, hips jolting into the sensation of his practiced digits. He began to find a steady rhythm, worn digits sliding along the length of your cunt, letting you hold onto him as much as you pleased.
As if to even the score, you’re reaching for the front of his pants, noticing the glazed look in his eyes. John huffs, letting you touch him, palm grazing over the noticeable bulge.
A muted buzz courses through your body, legs spreading to accommodate for him, flesh burning with heat. An amalgamation of limbs and heat, your body feels sensitive, a live wire.
Any scrap of friction you received drove you mad, desperation climbing to new heights as your hips rocked forward into his hand. Planting a kiss to your jaw, he continues, hand fervently working to pleasure you.
John lowers, mouth pressing against your throat, showering your flesh in a myriad of kisses. A low moan split past your chest, thighs twitching, legs unsteady as you brush your hand over the swell in his sweatpants.
“Jesus,” He groans, low and husky beside your face, rumbled into your neck. His beard scratches ragged over your flesh, and your other hand sinks beside his ribs. “Stop teasing.” He hisses, tone audibly pitched with arousal.
His lips caress over the bend of your shoulder, to the velvety hollow between that and your throat. A string of kisses manifested there, digits continuing to caress over your slit.
The rhythm was agonizing, your body screaming with ecstasy. Bodies twist together, writhe — a mess of heady sighs, moans, grunts.
Thick digits continued to warm you, prodding against your entrance as he introduced his thumb, allowing it to circle around your clit. A sharp moan ripped through your throat, agonizing.
John’s teeth suddenly puncture the juncture between your neck and shoulder, harshly grazing over your soft skin. Another pleading moan erupts from your throat, finding pleasure in the sting of his rough bite.
As your hand worms past the waistline of his sweatpants, you’re clamoring, finding his cock, masterfully well-endowed as your digits brush over the flushed head. He’s not small by any means, causing your stomach to flip.
His cock throbbed incessantly, the pressure coiled within his abdomen, unexpectedly seizing when your hand wrapped around his length.
“Christ,” John groans into your shoulder, propped on one hand, the other buried into your cunt. His fingers stutter, fleeting, digits grazing over the bundle of nerves. “S’good.”
He’s painfully hard in your palm, bleeding heat, slick within your grasp as you give his cock several sluggish, gentler strokes. Another grunt stirs within his chest, flush to yours.
There’s a tension prevalent in his shoulders, one that slowly begins to unfurl, the more you touch him. It’s a mutual exchange of bliss, touching one another, bodies twined and grinding.
“I need you,” You sputter, a half-whine, hand moving to grasp at the nape of his neck, feeling his hips urge into your palm. “Needed you for s—so long, John.” Tapering off into a moan, his body shudders against you.
John’s gaze sears a hole through you, crackling, festering with heat as his mouth draws away from your throat. He clings to your words as if they’re a lifeline, kissing you hard, enough to make your chest burn.
Chests brush against one another, firm muscle exuding warmth, peaks of your breasts ghosting over his pectorals. It’s all teeth, tongue, and want — veiled attraction spilling to the surface.
Each kiss rips the air from your lungs, leaving you reeling, gasping as you feel his tongue prod against yours.
A whine bubbles from your throat, smitten, tongue mingling with his as the kiss turns into a mess of passion. Your fingers are carding over the back of his skull, slipping over his hair as his teeth catch on your bottom lip.
“You’ve got me.” John gruffs, blonde lashes fluttering, kissing the rugged skin beneath his eyes. He slows the kiss, savoring the sweet taste of your mouth, knowing that you are what he wants, forever.
Two fingers stroke along your cunt, gathering the warm slick there with one sluggish swipe. He’s passionate, exploratory — his digits trace back to your clit, thumb beginning to circle over it.
Between your hand stroking at his cock and his hand drawing slow circles over your clit, you’re both on the edge of combustion.
As you draw your hand along his length, caressing from the base to the flushed tip, John shudders, hips rocking forward into your palm. The sensation is maddening, coil pulled tight within his stomach, the pleasure mounting.
His thumb languidly circled your clit, other digits sliding against your cunt. You squirmed and careened forward, insides hot as liquid warmth pooled between your thighs.
“John,” You moan, singing his praises as he ruts his fingers into you, his forehead flush to yours. Noses ghost over one another, lips pressing into his with another bruising kiss. “M’close.”
Never wavering in your ministrations, your hand continued to stroke along his cock, pace developing into something evocative. It was all a haze of want, touching one another as if you were bitten by a fever.
John groaned, eyes half-lidded, pliant mouth parted as a string of satisfied grunts escaped him. As your thumb dragged over the swollen head, he nearly buckled, huffing against your mouth.
The simmering flame of desire burned brightly within the pit of your stomach, his digits continuing to piston in and out of your cunt. A cry of delight tore past your lips, nails digging crescents into the nape of his neck.
Pain throbbed, an incessant ache that rippled through your ribcage, something that you actively fought to ignore. You were too enamored with John, hovering above you, stomach tight as he nears his release.
“Christ,” He gruffs, husky and rumbling as he jolts forward another time or two, cock pulsing with heat as he curls his fingers inside of you. The reaction you have is visceral, blissful. “That’s it, that’s a good girl.” John huffs.
Instantaneous, your cunt clenched tightly around his thick fingers, hips urging forward, nearly crashing into his as his thumb nudges your clit.
The sweet nickname he uses nearly sends you into some frenzy, chewing at the inside of your cheek. You want him to say it again, but your body reacts first, blindsiding you with a white-hot haze.
Teeth lightly catch your bottom lip as the both of you reach your release, a mutual entanglement, feeling his hot spend rope over your palm. You cum on his fingers, a knot of coiled tension that unfurls with a vengeance.
Stars sweep through your vision, back arched, begging for friction as you brush against him, warmth coating the juncture between your thighs. John grunts, huffing again, the noise tantalizing as he curls into you.
It’s searing and feverish, as if you’ve been washed in fire, all-consuming. He’s touching you still, grinding over your clit, breathing heavily beside your ear as if he’s running a marathon.
Perspiration smatters along his brow, countenance furled into a look of stern bliss, lips parted to make room for another groan. There’s a mess between bodies — sweat, arousal, heat.
Drawn-out sighs escape you in an attempt to recuperate, catch your breath as you lay beneath him, legs trembling from your orgasm. It’s been a long time since someone touched you and meant it, and it was a satisfying feeling.
John moves off of you, collapsing in a muscled heap at your side, knowing he’ll have to go change again. A gap of silence stretches between the both of you, comfortable, and you’re sluggishly climbing down from your peak.
“You okay?” John murmurs, chest rising and falling, breathing beginning to steady out. His head tilts, cerulean gaze traveling over your body, appreciative — the light blankets you perfectly.
“Yeah,” Unable to stop yourself from smiling, you glance at John, half-lidded with a thinly-veiled affection. “That was really nice.” You confess, thighs still shifting together to relinquish some of the tension.
With a cocksure grin, John’s body shakes with a brief laugh, and he’s sitting up, gaze warm and never wavering from you. “Hope so,” He murmurs, planting a kiss against your jaw. “Want something to drink?”
Made you cum so hard you saw stars, and now he’s asking if you want a drink; you’re beaming, head jostling in a nod. “If you don’t mind. I think I might need a painkiller or two, too. The ache is a little much.” You sigh, and he nods.
“Right.” John is often one who prefers acts of service — it’s how he displays his devotion, his affection. He does it all seamlessly, leaving your room with a confident spring in his step.
When he returns, he’s holding a bottle of prescription ibuprofen and water, along with another change of clothes. He offers you both with a brief nod, letting you relax as he slips into your bathroom to change again.
You catch a well-lit glimpse of his body, muscles raw and sinewy, shoulders broad, a layer of sun-kissed brawn. He’s impressive, handsome, strong — your gaze travels over the labyrinth of bruises and scars.
Slipping back into your raggedy t-shirt, you take several swigs of water and a lower dosage of medication, swallowing it all down before you recline back into the pillow.
He’s crawling back into your bed, scooping you up into his embrace, keeping your good side wedged against him. Exhaustion settles in, and you’re quick to cozy up to him, hands idly tracing over his abdomen.
“I could get really used to this,” You remark, soft as he plants a kiss to your brow, palm splayed out over the small of your back. John takes comfort in that, knowing that he shares the same sentiment. “Spending the night, waking up to you, being together.”
“Yeah?” He husks, scarlet settling over his visage as he nods in agreement. “I think I could, too.” John hesitates, choosing his next words carefully. “Someone has to keep an eye on you.” He grouses, as if it’s an inconvenience.
A hint of something playful lingers within his tone, prompting you to press a kiss over his scruffy jaw. The sensation makes him preen, caging you in against his musculature.
“If it’s anyone, I’d want it to be you.” Curled beside him, you feel tired, letting the haze of exhaustion begin to overtake you. He’s spent too, eyes fluttering shut as he lets out a low hum of acknowledgment. “Falling asleep on me?”
“No,” John grumbles, nose wrinkling slightly. “Your voice is putting me to sleep.” His light teasing sends your heart soaring, and you can’t help but smile, content to have him hold you.
“Really smooth,” Pressing a kiss to his shoulder, you make yourself comfortable, eyes closing as you decide to let yourself rest. “Goodnight, John.”
His mouth quirks into the ghost of a smirk, happening to open one eye as he turns his head, mouth meeting yours in a brief kiss. “I’ll see you in the morning.” John murmurs, warm breath pluming over your cheek.
You fall asleep in his arms; the pain in your ribs subsides.
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limerlove · 5 months ago
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FIND YOUR WINGS, VALENTINE
❝ VI!ONE SHOT ❞
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pairing. roommate!vi x femcoded!reader x exsituationship!caitlyn
caitlyn kiramman, a woman who yearned to have her cake and eat it too. violet, a simple girl who has fallen for someone emotionally unavailable and you — trying to disperse between heartbreak and a new love.
warnings. eighteen+, nsfw content: 17k wc. bartender!reader, melvika cameos, lesbian sex, semi-public sex, mutual finger-off, anal play, shy!vi, caitlyn is a cunt (in this), unfaithful mentality, valentine's day aura?
rayray rambles, chat! we made it. truthfully, this fic got away from in so many ways and i'm proud of myself for reigning it in. this originally was going to be a new years eve fic but it got so impossibly long that i wanted some more time with it. but i hope you enjoy it, this is my latest baby and a lot of love was put into it. happy valentines ♡
— special thank you to my amazing proofreader reader, @meganegatari, plu, i love you dearly.
‪‪and to my love, @sinstear, thank you for always listening to me ramble. happy valentines bubba, ily. even though you've already read 85 percent of this bc i was so excited about it
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You could still feel her.
Like it was just last night with her finger buried deep inside, pinning you against your front door with her slender fingers, the soft pad of her fingers stuffed inside your pants, making you see stars. A last ditch effort to keep you around. 
Caitlyn likes to chase but she becomes a bambi in headlights once she’s caught her prey. There was desperation for the last cry, a final effort to keep you around. You’d never seen such a progressive emotion from her. 
Before tonight, every moment; every word said seems transactional. 
The hauntingly blue windows of her soul look anywhere but you. You wonder if it's a tactic. Refusing to make eye contact when she’s most vulnerable. As if one glance at you would cost her the rest of her life, an outcome she can’t afford. 
These days, she’s afraid of her own shadow. Unable to look anyone in the eyes, her spirit crushed like she’s anywhere but here. When you try to pull her back to shore, she recedes even further. 
Nothing is good enough. 
Caitlyn makes it abundantly clear that you aren’t. Insults bite into your skin like a bullet, the blow never to your heart, the place you desperately want it to be. 
But for now, you lick your wounds and you let her have what she wants. Even if she’s fading from your grip, you can still hold her, you can still pretend she loves you the same way, and you can cry after she leaves. You wonder if she sees you for who you really are or if Caitlyn only sees what benefits her. 
It’s a cycle that keeps you here, entangled with a woman who doesn’t have the decency to let you go. If Caitlyn is half the woman you believe her to be, she would have mercifully kicked you out of her apartment. 
Then, there’s Vi.
Nothing with her is serious, not even physical, she just whines and dines you, she holds you like she loves you. Above everything else; Vi makes you forget. Even if it’s with a soft smile, a harmless joke that’s so stupid it makes you giggle — it’s a moment of peace. One you crave more than desolation. 
There’s a softness to her that Caitlyn doesn’t allow. You’re sure that’s why the two didn’t work out. Caitlyn is rough. Kind when she needs something, vengeful when you get in her way but when she seeks retribution for her sins, it’s entirely too late. 
Vi is everything Caitlyn isn’t, what she’s incapable of being — a simmering token of hope you keep close to your chest. 
The more you think about it, the more your stomach twists in knots over your neediness. Entertaining Violet so she can quench your emotional thirst. And keeping Caitlyn around in good faith, a blind faith you place in her, hoping that you’re not wrong. 
You can’t be wrong. 
Somehow she’ll change, right? 
“Why do you have to leave so soon?” Her accent bites into you like an icy river, devoid of emotion as she reveals what she really wants. A silky blue robe untied as her full breasts sit perfectly on her chest. 
Almost as if it’s muscle memory, your thumbs circle over her pink nipples, it buds under your touch and Caitlyn does what she does best. 
She grasps onto the reins of control, refusing to let go. 
With a firm hand, she applies pressure on the back of your neck, beckoning your mouth to find home on her perfect tits and they do. At the moment, you’re her favorite toy and she lets you play.
Plump lips latching on her nipple while your free hand squeezes the other, your tongue flicking over the sensitive nipple as your teeth graze over the sensitive skin, a gasp falling from Caitlyn’s lips. 
“Pretty girl just needs her mouth put to work. Give the other some attention, she’s feeling quite lonely.” 
Doing as you're told, your desperate drool collects on her chest as you bite the swell of her chest, before sucking on her other nipple as if she’s lactating. Then the idea of Caitlyn’s belly swollen makes you whimper, moaning into her skin as she runs a finger up her own slit, your eyes looking up at her as you suck, flick, and bite. 
As if your life depends on it. Maybe it did. 
“Come back to bed, babygirl. I need my perfect little slut. I can fuck you in the shower just the way you like.” 
The ammunition of her poisonous words might as well have penetrate your bloodstream. Displaced trust turns you into another toy for her to use. Trapped perpetually in a cycle you had a hand in enabling. Words full of steam leave a third-degree burn on your skin, not a single drop of blood to be found. 
But even if you want to pull back, you can’t. 
There’s no further arguments as you slip into the lion’s den. With soul-crushing desire, your bare chest presses against the fogged glass, Caitlyn using her favorite dildo as she fucks you into the wall of glass, a dignity you posses withers with each thrust. Perfectly manicured slim fingers pull at your hair as an arch to your back is forced. 
With each thrust she becomes more aggressive, her pace is punishing and it’s meant for you to fall in her hands. But you’re resisting, holding off the orgasm and the high that comes with it. The higher you fall, the harder you crash. You know Kirakiller won’t be there to catch you. 
You’ll burden the fall on your own. 
“Cait, please—” 
The slap of your stretched lips being thoroughly obliterated by her brutal cock can be heard throughout her apartment. She wants to make you come, that’s clear, but she also wants to break you. There’s nothing more a Kiramman loves, hearing you beg for mercy. To have the pathetic and whiny girl who blindly loves her, shattering at her grip. 
“That’s not my name. You fucking know it’s not. Good little sluts say it, don’t they?” 
Before you can even process it, she slaps your ass, three times, sending the orgasm raging through you. All Caitlyn does is fuck your pretty face into the glass as you take every inch of her. Then her pace halts as your heavy breath is heard over the shower. She turns the water off and you’re stuck there, unable to move.
Afraid. 
 Your heart would collapse right with you. 
Caitlyn moves swiftly, like a knight coming in the dead of knight to steal the princess. On all fours, she rummages through the cabinet before locating the precious wand. With a profound smirk, she grips the handle as if it’s an extension of her limb. 
“Looks like you’re getting punished today, babygirl. How do you wanna take it?”  
The lines blur together over the next few hours until you’re stumbling out of the apartment. Caitlyn not directly kicking you out of her home but your stay is only welcome for as long as the fucking window is open. It’s nearly three hours past midnight, tears in your eyes as you tread home with a gaping hole punctured with her sharpest end of her carefully placed blade. 
You wonder if she’s always been like this. Hot and hungry for power, ready to hurt anyone in order to get it. The angry flesh begs to be fed, and she gives in each time. Even when it means she sees the love depleted from your eyes, or when you refuse to make eye contact, or like tonight when she watches you hold in tears to escape out of her apartment. 
Some nights, you did want to be handled with a gentle hand but it’s not something Caitlyn gives. 
Anything more than a generous hand and greedy lips begging to lap at your cunt and Caitlyn comes up short. Living up to her name to the fullest. 
Kirakiller, they called her. 
There’s a dozen reasons for her name. How she slaughters everyone on the pitch,  academically she’ll make you feel inferior to her own privileged, private education prior to university. How she kills your spirit if you aren’t someone she sees as an exceptional academic student for Piltover University. 
All of it seems to be a game for her. With Cassandra Kiramman as the dean, the board members sit heavily in her overflowing pocket, she runs things as she sees fit. Her daughter being taken care of and on top of the world is her number one priority. There’s been a dozen to come after the Kiramman’s and none have been successful. Murmurs of corruption grace the hallowed halls but not a soul dares to challenge the wealth and power of the prestigious bloodline of the Kirammans.  
Caitlyn “Kirakiller” Kiramman associating with someone who was merely on scholarship wasn't in Cassandra’s plans. Even if you didn’t even know it yet, you were too low on the totem pole to be associated with the future of a daunting legacy. An entire life laid out for Cait before she even took her first breath. 
It was dumb to buzz her up to the apartment. Even more idiotic to respond to her texts in the first place but besides all her failed attempts, she still tries to worm her way through your heart to take what she believes is owed. Just like last week, you let her. 
She leaves when you pretend to fall asleep after, the two of you telling yourselves it’ll be the last time, but it won’t be. 
It’s a vicious cycle, one has your insides spinning, your stomach churning and your heart aching. But you’re too weak to end. It’s a tale as old as time. You want something more and Caitlyn can’t be bothered to be committed to the wrong type of girl. 
It’s all about appearances and you’re not good enough. 
Cassandra, the respectable dean and the mother who is the puppeteer of her daughter’s life, behind the scenes pulling the strings in order to maintain image, status. She holds it closer than her own blood; a need for her bloodline to prosper and Dean Kiramman will trample anyone’s heart to complete the task. 
Whether she wants to fight against her mother’s future or not? You didn’t know. 
Truly, you never know what she wants, besides getting herself off or getting you off, Caitlyn was stuck between a world she’s born for and one that’s decided for her. A child acting out but waiting until college to do so. 
Kirakiller. 
That’s what they called her. Ruthless in all of her conquests, never calling back, never fucking the same girl again, it wasn’t something Kirakiller did. She used, abused, and moved onto the next one. 
But for some reason, she’s incredibly stuck on you. 
The new year puts you at a distance when Cait refuses to bring you home for the holidays. Of course, the fight rages as soon as she’s done fucking you. 
“What do you think this is?” 
“You tell me.” 
There’s a look in your eyes, gleaming and sorrowful, the rejection crystal clear. That’s all any of this has been. A severe procrastination tactic to put off what you want, her. 
What makes it worse is Caitlyn knows it but she’s still here, trying, and who the hell knows why. 
Hope. A poor woman’s faith guts you, ripping your insides of love and prosperity. In your line of vision, you just see claws tearing at your skin, all flesh raw and bleeding as she begs for more. 
A wish that you hope for every time you see her. This time she’ll choose differently, she’ll be kind this time. I’ll be enough to love. This will be the moment. 
But when she doesn’t, the accent you love so much burns you at the stake, you’re screaming on deaf ears. Begging for her to hear just one, but she snuffs you out. Like the moonlight you bring, she pretends you don’t call to her like the moon pulls the tide. 
Instead, you’re met with Caitlyn’s greed. 
“Why do I think this is? I expect some basic level of human compassion but you’ve forgotten that too. I’ve always given you the benefit of the doubt. Even when everyone tells me you’re fucking other girls besides me, even when I see with my own eyes how you act when you think I’m not around. You clearly don’t respect me. Every time I’ve tried to have this conversation, you avoid me. Do you think I deserve that?” 
“There is nothing to even discuss. This is nothing.” Her accent is sharp, cutting right through your heart. A woman you love too deeply reaffirming how little she thinks of you. 
Dismissal. 
Absence. 
You are nothing, might as well have fallen from her lips. 
Her heart is ice cold,  her piercing eyes bite like the bitter wind of winter. A slim view of fire rattling within her dark blue eyes, pupils dilate so much they practically turn black. 
You feel your stomach tense, the pit in your stomach has once returned, denying you of what feels so real to you. 
It’s just a game for her. 
Always a game Caitlyn has to win. 
“Fine. Then leave. But don’t come back next time, don’t text me when you’re lonely or horny, don’t call me when everyone else won’t hear you out. Forgot about me and let’s be done with it, yeah? Go back to those girls you love to fuck so much. The ones that are bright, shiny, untouched by your venomous heart.” 
“I will. They sure will be a hell of a lot better lay than you, maybe they’ll let me fuck their ass.” 
You scoff but your expression is stone cold as you watch her struggle to pull her clothes on. There’s no sudden movements made. Certainly no apologies. 
Once Caitlyn fully dresses, she waits there as if you’ll change your mind. A wish she’s so desperately hanging onto as your eyes remain cold. A shiver is sent up her spine — you’d never been more ruthless — and for the first time her chest feels tight at the loss of you. 
“It’s what you want. A pretty rich thing your mother will accept and the control in the bedroom you need since the real Kiramman controls every aspect of your life, even your love life. Good luck, you’ll need it.” 
“You’ll come begging back, you always do.” 
You want to choke Caitlyn with the smirk she’s currently wearing. 
“We’ll see about that, Kirakiller. Don’t let the door hit you on your way out.” 
In an instant her face drops, her acute lips turning into a frown, cursing under her breath before she finally slams the door. It’s only then do you allow yourself to scream into your pillow, agony coursing through you, desperation, and most of all — a rage that wouldn’t be quenched. 
The fairy lights, softly winking at you each time the sequence goes off. Violet craved to put them up around Christmas but never bothered to take them down. Perfectly, they fit with your shared home. The small apartment stuck between the suburbs and the city, close enough to campus where it was only a short drive, the two of you carpooling or Vi moving her schedule around to drop you off. 
It happened to work out for the two of you. You didn’t think you’d get to be so lucky. Finding a decent roommate is a tall order, but now the two of you are inseparable and you couldn’t imagine your life any different. 
If not for her, you didn’t think you'd survive spending the holidays alone. 
Caitlyn made sure to isolate you but Violet holds you close.  
The memory of new years solidifies the budding infatuation growing within you; as much as it excites you, it sends a freezing shiver down your spine. Like a bitter winter to an evergreen bush, who knows if it’ll last the season without one moment to be basked in the sun. 
— 
New Years Eve, 2024. 
Sevika nursing an old fashioned. Trying to avoid the smell of cheap corona and budweiser intruding her relaxed nostrils as Mel sips on a glass of wine. Her smaller frame leans into Sevika’s arm looped through hers as their hips nearly become conjoined. They watch as Violet watches you. You’re standing there alone, fending off a few women who try to make a move on you. 
Whispers of your former fling, Caitlyn Kiramman make their way across campus, the colossal cunt raging her anger during practice. Just as you’ve been reminded by her teammates who blame you for her toddler tantrum. Violet’s heart sinks to her chest as she watches Caitlyn make a straight shot for you. 
The second she entered the room, Violet could feel the dread filling her body. Half because seeing her reminds her of all the horrors, everything she let Caitlyn do to her. Now, Caitlyn’s moved on to her next victim and she wonders if you’ll ever truly escape from her. 
“Do you think we should–” Vi speaks softly, a murmur she didn’t intend for anyone else to hear. “...interrupt?” 
“Calm down, casanova.” Sev interjects letting the whiskey soothe her throat. 
“Easy for you to say, coupled up love birds.” Vi rolls her eyes as she watches the scene unfold before her. 
The light in her eyes cracks, like a sparkler losing its flame. Each time Caitlyn attempts to worm back in your life, you’ve always let her. Even when she’s the last person who deserves even a moment of your time. It takes anything in her not to wince when you let Caitlyn touch your arm but after a moment you push her off. 
Well, that’s new. 
“You should go over there.” Mel chimes in, “Caitlyn would surely run for the hills then. She’s all bark but no bite.” 
“Go be her knight in shining armor.” Sev says it like it’s a bad thing, her sarcasm biting into the air. 
All Vi continues to scratch away at the label unraveling from the condensation, just as her heart rips each time Caitlyn gets closer to you. It’s a strange feeling. Her ex-girlfriend and the person she loves. Nearly spiteful her heart becomes, almost wanting to fling herself off a bridge. It’s more than Vi wishes to deal with and she tells herself she won’t. 
You’re not worth the trouble, she’s just making her feelings bigger than they actually are, right? 
Whatever Caitlyn says pisses you off enough to throw your drink in her face, coating her from hot to toe in the vodka cranberry Vi had made for you earlier in the night. 
“You’ll eat those actions, babygirl. Next time, it’ll be you who is soaked and we both know it.” 
Caitlyn screams for all to hear as she checks you with her shoulder before heading upstairs. 
It’s five minutes before midnight and Violet watches as you crumble, running outside, needing to catch some air. You need something to make you feel less suffocated. Even with a drink thrown in her face, Caitlyn still finds a way to get an upper hand. 
“Vi, would you be a dear and check on her? Sev and I will be there in a sec.” 
“Yeah, sure.” 
Violet sees you in the corner of her eye, trying not to break down, but she notices the tears threatening to spill. 
“Don’t look so glum princess or you’re going to make me cry and nobody wants to see that.”  The lightness of her tone makes you chuckle. Vi’s trying to make you laugh and she succeeds. 
Everyone pours outside as the clock strikes closer to midnight, Mel and Sevika come out but they keep their distance. Vi kneels at your feet, gently wiping the tears away you finally let fall. The small hiccups leaving your chest as you feel inadequate, wondering if anyone would miss you if you just melted away — not a single trace of you to be found. 
“She makes me feel so small, even when I leave, she wants more of me. I have nothing left to give.” You sob, hands shaking as you make fists trying to stabilize yourself. “No one understands how…how fucking awful and addicting she is.” 
“I do.” 
“Of course you, Violet. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. She’s just…” 
“Frustrating?” You nod, trying to laugh off the heartbreak but the familiar glee doesn’t reach your eyes. 
“And now I’m alone, on new years.” You say, cursing at the premature fireworks illuminating the sky. “While she goes to shag whoever wants to clean the vodka cranberry with their tongue.” 
I want to taste the cranberry on yours. 
Violet doesn’t speak those words. It’s just a dream — one that only drips in her mind until her thoughts pull at her like a pomegranate as it sheds from the skin. 
“She’s an idiot for letting you go. Anyone here knows that.” 
“Really? Funny ‘cause I’m here single. Caitlyn just wants me to crawl back to her with me on all fours just so she can say, i told you so, in that insufferable English accent. God, I wanna rip it from her throat.” 
“Then don’t give her the satisfaction.” 
“Easier said than done.” You say as everyone counts down from ten, “At least we still have each other.” 
Vi smiles, her powder-blue eyes sweet on you. There’s nothing more she wants than to kiss you. But Vi will screw the both of you if she moves too quickly. 
3…2…1! 
The buzz of the party reaches an all-time high and you’ve never felt so close to hell. Watching as everyone kisses the person they love, the gleeful-holiday making them smile as they wrap in the warmth of their partner. Vi sees how sad you are, how close you are to breaking, so she does something stupid. An action that will only get her heart in all kinds of trouble. 
Nearly almost planting her lips on yours, but saves herself with a peck to the apple of your cheeks. 
She blushes and you smile. 
She considers it to be a win when she gets a positive reaction from you. That’s all she really wants, to hear you laugh and you do. 
Again. 
The both of you speak nothing of it, the heartache too heavy and the love in Violet’s eyes too bright. You rest your head against her shoulder as the both of you watch the fireworks shining the midnight sky — it feels awfully like a fresh start. 
God knows you could use one. 
— 
The last thing you want is to miss her but you do. 
Longing instilled the moment she infected your blood; making each beat of your heart consistently flow for her. You couldn’t admit it, not her or yourself. It’s what she counts on. For you to slip, to venture back into the lion’s just so she can gut you from root to stem. 
With your finger hovering over her number for the past few weeks, each time, nearly a moment from giving back into her needs. Not once had she called, texted, or even looked at your way. Not even when she sat across from you in the library last Monday. Before her tongue found home in the girl who threw herself in Caitlyn’s lap. Promptly deciding that was enough studying for the day. 
The nights are the worst, you stay secluded in your room, tired of thinking about her and everything that’s transpired. How much you miss her, how much you love her — wondering if you ever should have — and how much you clung to this version of her that maybe just never existed. 
It isn’t until Vi tries to get you out of the house that you realize how heartbroken you actually feel. How unbearable it would be to do anything but the bare minimum that’s expected for you to survive. 
“C’mon, it won’t be bad.” Vi throws herself in bed with you, “You’re with me you’ll have a fantastic time.” 
Vi cheekily smiles, “Plus, I can’t go without you. Those are the rules.” 
“Oh really?” She nods, the sincerity reaching her eyes so blindingly, it makes the swell in your chest ache. 
“Basically the law, so if you don’t want me to handcuff you, you’ll listen.” 
Raising an eyebrow at the question, you watch her as your roommate goes into the closet and comes out with three dresses back in hand. 
“You always look, um u-uh, really pretty in these.” 
Violet’s always been like this. Unsure, a little bit flirty, and with a heart so gentle you would be too afraid to hold it in the palm of your hand. All it took was one introduction from Sevika and the two of you instantly clicked. 
You cooked at the housewarming party for Mel and Sevika, in the middle of having a breakdown when you didn’t have crucial ingredients you thought you did have. It’s when Violet came to your rescue. Already in the kitchen watching you nearly have a panic attack over not being better prepared, she instantly grabbed the keys to her truck, off to assist. 
With your former roommate flaking out after the second semester in your apartment off campus, and Violet coming off a messy breakup, the two of you helped each other out. 
“Which one is your favorite?” It’s an innocent question. 
It really is. 
Then you remember the last time you wore it, Violet unable to keep her eyes off you when she thought you weren’t looking or how she would meet your eyes when you caught her staring. Dramatically clearing her throat as she scratches the nape of her neck, bashfully blushing. 
“The black one. You always look beautiful, any of them really. That one is just my favorite.” 
Feeling the fabric of the silk dress, the neckline is plunging and the back is open until it reaches your lower back and you don't dare bend down to pick up anything in this little number. 
“Someone’s being sweet tonight.” You smile softly, kissing her cheek before you disappear into the bathroom. It’s long before you come out, but when you’re ready Vi nearly has to do a double take. 
Visibly, she gulps. 
Fuck, she forgot how amazing you look in that dress. 
“Where’s it at this time?” 
“You remember Natalie?” 
“Oh?” 
“It’s not—” 
“I didn’t say it was.” But you’re smirking and Vi has no other option but to groan into her hands. 
“You were thinking about it.” Harmlessly, you shrug. 
“Regardless, it’s some new girl who’s gonna be on the team this season. It’s kind of a get together before the season starts.” 
“You’re taking me to the kick-off banquet?” Vi winces as your voice shrieks, slightly piercing her eardrum in the process. 
“Uh,” Vi runs a hand through her vibrant, messy head of hair. “Uh, yeah. It’s really not a big deal.” 
“So, why not Natalie?” 
“Does it matter?” Vi counters. She becomes uncomfortable about how she would have to answer the question. There wasn’t a way for her to answer without fully exposing herself so she pulls at her cuticles until she’s slightly bleeding before she stuffs them inside her pockets. 
She doesn't want to have the conversation, and honestly, neither do you. 
“The she-devil won’t be there. Doesn’t that sound wonderful? One night for yourself, there’s a little dancing, we can have a couple of drinks—” 
“Y-You’ll dance with me…in front of everyone?” You sound more unsure of yourself than you ever have. The words are foreign on your tongue as if you’re speaking another language. 
“Is that a statement or a question?” Vi chuckles before she stands up from your bed, “Give me ten minutes and we’ll head out. We can stop and get some burgers. The food they cater is ass anyways. All that money from the snobby rich parents and Piltover University can’t even splurge on anything decent.” 
It doesn’t take long before she’s emerging into the living room, her white button up has the top three buttons undone, the tattoos creeping on the outside of her neck visible as does her name she has on her cheek. The one you chastise her for consistently. 
“You ready?” Violet stuffs her essentials in her deep pockets before taking you in. 
“Yeah, I think so, I was just waiting for you.” 
She seriously has to assume your exes are severely ill for ever letting you out of their sight. Violet despises how rapid the beat of her heart is, how shaky her hands become when she offers a hand to help you off the couch. Only two nights ago, it was the two of you cuddled up, Vi shrieking in fear from your favorite horror film. 
The terror in her powder-blue eyes made you laugh. Violet sees it as a big enough consolation for her downright distress. 
You’re too gorgeous for your own good. 
She may be pushing her luck tonight. Even pulling you out of bed makes her feel slightly accomplished. Between work and class, your mattress has been your chosen place to nurse your heartache. A few of your friends had been in and out, trying to get you to grab a fresh breath of air, or find the bottom of a bottle of tequila but all had failed. 
“You look….” You bite your lip, watching as your eyes drag over her frame, overwhelmed by just how well she cleans up. 
“That bad, huh?” Violet smirks as she makes her way over to you, and with your heels, she can’t help but admire your height. She supposes she does have a type. Who can blame her? 
“Something like that.” Your face is burning, the world doesn’t seem so bleak when she locks the door with one hand, her left warm-calloused hand holding yours in a firm grip. 
“How do I look?” You do a twirl, there’s a smile you try to contain when her eyes drag over you, taking all the time in the world as open the door to her truck, guiding you inside. 
“You look beautiful but that’s no surprise, princess.” 
The drive is quiet. Violet itches to place the palm of her hand on your thigh but she resists. With a quiet mind, she listens as you ramble about a new album you listened to earlier and she hands you her phone so you can play it. Immediately, you’re bewildered at the trust. 
Caitlyn wouldn’t even let you use her phone when yours died. Ordering the uber herself as she left you on the curb as she took her sports car and faded into the intersecting street. 
It’s only a twenty minute drive to the diner and the red neon sign greets you, the outside wall painted in a pastel-yellow, it’s gaudy and nearly unpleasant to the eye but there’s the charm about it. Zaun outlasted the gentrification of the corporate pollution, still one of the only places to remain standing and family owned. 
You’re led to a booth where you both take a seat, glancing over the menu as you decide what you want, trying to make a decision in your mind is something that drowns you like a misty fog at the crack of dawn. 
Finally you settle on a burger and so Violet. The conversation is easy with her. Everything seems to flow with a simpleness you find yourself reaching for. Like the last copy of your favorite book at the library, you crave to wrap your fingers around the crispy edges, sinking your smell into the spine of a new novel. Where the beginning feels like a first kiss — blissful notions of someone new — when the thought of love doesn’t seem so jarring. 
Before you’re terrified of getting your heart shattered into a million pieces. Before love morphs into something violent, you turn to Violet and you wonder if she’s ever been scared to love. Does it come easy for her? Would she let herself go for the right person? You feel too broken to ever let yourself fall that freely again. 
But she has blue eyes, a scar on her upper lip making her more charming, and tattoos adorning her back that only attribute to the surface level of her allure.  
Shortly after you sink into your thoughts, ones you don’t believe you should even have, you're ravaging your burger when Violet notices the attention you're getting. It’s obvious. To everyone. But you just talk to her about anything but the elephant in the room, you’re so chatty tonight she might even think you’re nervous. 
But it’s Vi. There’s nothing to ever be nervous about. 
Nothing at all. 
“God, this was such a good call. Who knew I needed to bury my sorrows in a pound of grease.” 
“Carbs. They are a beautiful thing.” Vi winks, you chunk a fry at her but she catches it in her mouth. 
You finish your food in silence, Vi smiling as she takes another sip from the cane-sugar coca cola. The sweetness of the syrup  coats the back of her throat as she watches you watch her. She wants to say something but the timing is wrong. She wonders if you see a future or a rebound, maybe even just a friend, only time can tell and Vi fears she would wait a lifetime waiting for you to figure it out. 
It’s how she loves. Free, without restrictions, even if she still mourns the love she once had burned to flames — you make her forget it all. Renewed in holy water, she basks in a touch that hasn’t scorned her, freely washing her of past sins.  
“What happened to Natalie? I thought things were good.” 
“For a time, yeah.” Violet says something without saying much. 
“Vi, are you being coy?” 
The blush coats her cheeks as she tries to shy away from the conversation. She feels the heat from your attention, the way her heart beats a million times per second as you have her cornered. Different in a way she would typically imagine when you came to mind. Even if she does try to stop herself, Vi can’t help but wonder about you and if you would feel the same way she does. 
If you do and just aren’t allowing yourself to let go of the wall you have up in the horrendous shape of Caitlyn Kiramman.  
The way you pry, your bold eyes slightly squinting at her as if you’re already figuring out the self-righteousness of the sinner. Secrets she hides under lock and key but even on a good day, the confession bubbles on her tongue as she catches herself choking on her own spit. You’re always so careful of the questions you leave hanging in the air. 
In a moment of frustration, Violet thinks of how Caitlyn’s manipulative patterns may have sinked into your brain. She knows that much — the blue-haired witch has done the same to her. Making you question everyone’s motives, wondering if anyone could ever be truthful. 
But others can. 
Caitlyn can’t. 
Vi distracts herself, avoids the question even if it is just a second to recollect her thoughts, a minute to buy time and divert from this conversation. It’s a truth she doesn't want unraveled. 
“What’s the saying? Don’t kiss and tell.” She grumbles as she stuffs her face with another bite of the beefy patty. “But we just didn’t work out s’all. Plus, I’m not looking for anything serious I guess. She was.” 
Another lie but Vi keeps her lips tight. She doesn’t need you to know why her latest attempt at a relationship blew up in her face, catastrophically. 
“Maybe you and Kirakiller should date again.” You tease. 
“Take that back. She’s the devil’s spawn and I’m still sorry you learned the difficult way. Just like me.” 
“Well, she definitely lives up to the name.” 
“I wish she would have changed her ways. You didn’t deserve to get hurt at all and especially by her.” Violet reaches across the table, soothing the back of your hand, rubbing circles into your skin. The action is sweet, lighting your skin ablaze with goosebumps as you watch her show affection, especially where other people can see. 
At the moment, you want to be claimed by her. Marked as Violet’s girl and you would be proud to be. You close the thought from your mind as soon as it opens. This isn’t a date. Just because Violet flirts doesn’t mean she’s interested. The two of you are roommates. 
Pull yourself together. 
Jesus Christ. 
She knows how much everyone can’t stop looking at you. The diner, outside the gas station even when Vi told you to stay in the car, and then the banquet. But you latched onto her, practically glued to her side as new sponsors came to speak with the new head captain. Vi’s nursing a beer when the music hits and she grins. 
“Are you ready for this?” 
What is she talking about? 
Vi latches her hand with yours as she pulls you to the open floor, only a few couples begin to lightly sway to the classical being played. It’s different from what she was used to but she was nothing if not resourceful. 
“I don’t bluff, princess, and I certainly don’t lie.” Vi tugs you close as you make no arguments, she leads as you find shining faith in her eyes. 
It’s a new feeling, unfamiliar as it courses through your body. Vi isn't ashamed of you, as a friend, as a roommate; she’s full of warmth when she glances at you. Sending a sense of belonging through your skin, a home you want to throw yourself in before the foundation has even been laid. 
Violet’s too good at this. You secretly love it but you pretend like you hate it. As if getting attention from someone as kind and hot as her is a bad thing. It’s nearly too much, almost making you sick with how much you’re enjoying being held by someone who actually wants to hold you. 
She’s not playing chess and using you as a pawn. 
It’s a recurring thought you have to remind yourself of, she’s not Caitlyn. 
Violet doesn’t make promises she doesn’t keep, she doesn’t say careless compliments to only have sex with you. With a firm palm on your back, calluses kissing your spine, she’s looking at you — so much so it feels as if she’s looking right through you. 
 “You don’t have to—” She twirls you around before you can protest, guiding you back into her gentle care. 
Vi shrugs, “There’s a lot you don’t know about me princess but I’d never go back on my word.” 
The other couples start to move on the dance floor as each song blends into the next. 
“That’s refreshing.” 
Violet hand placed on your exposed back feels so warm it nearly burns her skin. Leaning in, leaning her head against yours. You smell of vanilla and something else entirely too sweet, maybe jasmine or fresh lilies. The delicate breath kissing your neck feels tempting. You would never consider yourself to be a siren, but with each promise laced up in your tongue, you wish to serenade her into a future with you. 
“So are you, sweetheart.” Violet pulls away just enough to look at you, her temple presses against yours. 
You can hear the shake in her breath, her grip around her back tightening like she’s trying to restrain herself. But she doesn’t restrain, she leans in, the tip of her pierced nose kissing yours. If either of you moved an inch forward, your lips could taste hers. 
Is her chapstick cherry, strawberry, or maybe even blueberry? They look irresistible as the glisten, you need to crave the ache deriving from your bones. Violet has itched herself into every part of your life and she’s the only one to make you feel a sliver of joy again. 
“We should…” The dazed woman doesn’t even know what she’s pleading for. This is all she’s been wanting but somehow her heart is pulling away, terrified to be crushed under the unforgiving weight of rejection. 
“Yeah.” You say. Somehow understanding what she wishes for, silently you’re able to see her exposed skin, raw to the notion of a love dying to bloom in the beginning of spring. 
Violet kisses your cheek again and somehow you feel the warmth of the fresh season. In the February rain, there is still sunshine spilling over the clouds — washing you in hope again. 
— 
The rest of your life fell back in place as if she never existed, except the ache in your heart that wouldn’t stop. You did your best to ignore it. Word got around Caitlyn went back to fiercely fucking. Apparently instead of sleeping just once a week while she was with you, she went back to her ever-growing appetite, nearly every night. It isn’t too difficult for her; not when there’s a line of women waiting to be at her beck and call. 
You threw yourself into your studies, picking more shifts at the bar and hoping she doesn’t pull any of her usual stunts, showing up drunk and begging to fuck. 
One more time, baby. This could be good for the both of us. 
Caitlyn uprooted the past semester of uni and she didn’t even have the decency to apologize. All your friends with a knowing look of — I told you so — without actually dispersing the words from their tongue. It feels too much like a blurry dream but Sevika is good at making you smile. Even if you wanna throw yourself against a wall until the memory of Kirakiller fades for good. 
The night had been busier than expected but nothing you and Sevika couldn’t handle. Even if there’s an ache in your knees, the muscles in your shoulders strained, it feels nice to just work. Everything flees your mind, all the insecurities bubbling inside you escaping to get out. The emotions you’re attempting to keep at bay and failing. 
“You good, kid?” 
“Yeah, life’s just a shit fire. Nothing new.” 
Continuing to wipe the bar down for new customers, you clean off some glasses in front of you, as you dry your hands on a clean towel before tending to the other side of the bar. 
The rest of the night comes to you in a blur. You’re flirty enough with the men to ensure a nice tip but when one tries to get too handsy, you tell them to fuck off or Sevika will throw them out. They eye up her frame as she makes her way over, height hitting at over six feet, her muscles visible through the fitted black tank she chose tonight. If you didn’t know any better, she would terrify you. 
“Got a problem here?” 
“I’m not sure, what about you boys? Do you think there’s an issue?” 
With a quick shake to their heads, they take a nervous sip of their beer and the rest of the night goes along swimmingly. It’s last call when you spot the familiar pink-haired roommate, nursing her second bottle of beer it seems. 
“How long has she been here?” 
“Came during the rush for you, but didn’t wanna bother you. She’s been waiting for a few hours.” 
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Your tone goes high and squirrelly, murderous eyes finding her glimmering, silver eyes. 
“Well, it's only Vi, right?” Sevika smirks. 
That itself was a loaded question. If you’d been asked six months ago, it would have been a flat friend but now Vi had somehow turned into a friend. The almost-kiss you’ve been having dreams about. How she would kiss you — would it be tender — or would she be depraved about it in a way that would have you bruising your knees at the speed of lighting. 
“Stop that. Vi is as harmless as a puppy.” 
“Sure. Keep telling yourself that.” 
“Wasn’t Kirakiller here last month waiting for you and you didn’t bat an eye? Plus, the only thing she seems to be jealous of is Vi. The diva had a meltdown when she saw Vi picking you up after the end of your shift last week, or that’s just what I heard.” 
“Mel needs to stop telling you so much.” 
“Pillow talk. It’s a beautiful thing. Isn’t it?” 
Rolling your eyes, you throw your apron at her, collecting your tips for the night. Vi still looks innocent as ever, Gert making friendly conversation with her as you just watch her. Her thick, wool beanie matches her hair and you can’t help but think of how cute she looks. Her fingerless gloves you always chastise her about, doing very little to keep her warm. 
You knew she had a date tonight. Hell, it makes you nervous why she’s even here. Racking your brain with some excuse to get you out of this. What’s so important she couldn’t wait until you got home? She waits up for you every night. Doesn’t let herself fall asleep until she hears the familiar jingle of your keys outside the door. Pretending to read the book in her hands like she’s casually perched on the couch at three in the morning for any other reason. 
“Well, she’s one of the good ones and I’m not.” 
You’re frustrated as you split the tips, handing Sevika her half. Things with Vi had been more than complicated. You weren’t sure if you were over Caitlyn but you also knew things with Vi were getting closer to an edge you couldn’t come back from.
The flashbacks of the banquet you attended as her plus one just a few weeks ago haunt you. Her lips so close to yours, the hitch in her breath and whimper you let out that stopped it all. 
You would be an idiot to ruin the best friend you’ve ever had. A deep secret buried in your mind tells you how much of a bigger idiot you would be if you let her slip right through your fingers. 
“Doesn’t matter if you are or not. She sees something in you. Count yourself lucky. Oh, and before you head off Mel wants to invite you over for Valentine’s. Some big party she’s throwing. You know how she is. Be there or she’ll come and find you if you resist.” 
The wink Sevika sends you is insufferable. Similar to her attitude this entire night. 
“Yeah yeah, tell Mel I’ll be there.” 
“Now that’s the loving spirit, lovergirl.” 
You make your way over and Gert’s hand is touching Vi’s forearm, a look in your eyes that sends an annoying pit to your stomach. Gert’s eyes flutter and her smirk is evident but Vi only gulps when you make your way over. 
Gert may just take your attitude for tiredness but Vi knows better. Your two seconds from blowing up the way your jaw is clenched, teeth grinding as you fight to act like a complete and utter cunt. Vi’s a very pretty girl. Women flirt with her all the time. It’s not anything you didn’t know but to see it up and close was new for you. 
As was the jealousy practically sprouting out of you. 
“Well call me, yeah?” Gert’s eyes sparkle, dodging you entirely as she walks away and into the back. 
Violet gulps as it’s just the two of you. 
“Why are you here?” You snip, arms crossed over your chest, unknowingly making your cleavage even more apparent. “Sev says you’ve been here for hours.” 
“I came to see you but you looked busy.” 
“Mhm, yeah. Busy. You look awfully busy.” 
“Don’t do that.” 
But you ignore her. 
You rolled your eyes, the irritation raging within you. Fucking Gert. You drunkenly told her about your confusing feelings for Vi and she took that as Vi's single. It’s slim pickings out there but fuck, did Vi have to entertain it right in front you? 
But you didn’t like to think about how she did. You weren’t dating, you weren’t fucking, you essentially were just roommates who cuddled sometimes, or went on these almost dates with and almost kissed. 
Vi hasn't been dating since Natalie but she’s free to do as she pleases. It’s a colossal hit to your pride but you can’t be mad. You are, but you can’t be. 
You really cannot be doing this. 
Vi is just a friend. Only a friend. That’s it.  
“I’m going but Gert will be off soon. Goodnight, Vi.” 
It’s short and not so sweet. Swiftly turning around as you are practically running out the door. The chill of February hits you first and then you hear Vi and her voice calling after you but you just keep walking. Hoping she’ll give up and go back. You’re a lost cause, anyone with eyes can see it. 
“Would you stop running away?” You turn around and Vi is so close that she runs into you, her arms wrapping around your waist to stop you from falling. “Jesus, are you insane? It’s fucking freezing out here. I don’t care if you’re mad right now, I’m driving us home.” 
“Violet, let me—” 
“No. You’re not getting sick. It’s past midnight. It’s not safe. We are not arguing about this.” You pout as she holds your hand and practically drags you back to her black truck. Opening the door for you as you get in, shutting the door once you’re situated before she gets in on the other side. 
Igniting the engine, it revs on and while the car warms up Vi sighs, rather loudly. She’s always good about waiting until she calms down to speak. Letting the anger roll off her, the frustration you’re sure was caused by you. She slides the beanie off her head as the car reaches a normal temperature and runs her fingers through beautiful pink strands being kissed by the light of the moon. 
The natural fluff to the strands is restored, no longer inflated by the beanie you had embroidered her full name on. You can’t keep your eyes off of her. She must feel it because Vi catches your gaze and instantly her eyes go soft. It’s too much so you turn your eyes away; focusing on the snow falling on the windshield. 
“What’s going on? I’ve been patient for weeks but something changed and you’re not telling me.” 
“I’m not sure what you want me to say.” 
“The truth would be a good place to start.” 
Vi sighs, again, when you’re silent. No smartass rebuttal, no snide remark, not even an exasperated curse underneath your breath. Complete and utter silence.
But you feel trapped.
You’re terrified. Vi is too warm, loving, and painfully-pure. She might not know it, but she’s the girl you come back for. The one who you bring home to meet the family, the one who will bring you breakfast in bed when you feel under the weather and the one who will make sure you feel loved every single day. 
When other people figure that out, if Gert does, it’s over for you. Because maybe it was foolish, pathetic, and possibly tragic but you were just trying to sort yourself out long enough to see if you want those things with her. Now, it’s only a matter of time before she dotes on someone else who can give her everything she deserves. 
You should let her have this, it’s far better than her pleading eyes begging for something you’re not sure you can give. Caitlyn broke pieces you're not sure are repairable, parts of yourself that can’t be put back together. You didn’t even realize you had been crying until Vi’s wiping away your tears. 
The pad of her thumb is careful as she wipes all the tears away. 
“Tell me what’s wrong, princess. It’s just you and me.” 
“I-I can’t. It’s too…I just can’t.” You confess, sniffling as you try and calm yourself down. 
Vi guides you into the crook of neck as she does her best to hold you over the middle console of her truck. “It’s okay, princess. Shh, I’m right here.” It’s then that your sobs wrack your body and Vi decides she needs you as close as possible. Using her strength, she brings you into her lap, wrapping her tight arms around you as you sob into her neck. Salty tears stain Vi’s neck but she really doesn’t care. 
All she cares about is you. 
“It’s about Kiramman, isn't it?” 
Vi can’t hide her disdain for the woman. That much is clear as day. Whatever happened with the two of them burned deep. 
“Maybe murder isn’t such a bad thing.” 
“Vi.” You chuckle half heartedly. 
“There’s that smile..” You lift your head from the safety of her warmth, pressing your forehead against hers. Your breath is heavy on her lips, staring at the beautiful scar, the plumpness to her lips practically staring right at you. Close enough to see the constellations of freckles littered across her full cheeks. 
Your timing is awful but your heart gives into Violet’s gaze, lips falling closer together to hers. 
“Don’t make it like this.” Vi whispers, her powder-blue eyes gleaming at you. 
“What?” 
“Don’t kiss me for the first time because you’re sad about her. I can’t be her runner up. I’ve been playing that for too long.” 
“I won’t kiss you, not if you don’t want me to.” 
The tears are still fresh, but this need churning within you isn’t. Since the moment you met Vi, you’ve been fighting it. Fighting this. 
“Fuck, I do but,” Vi stalls when you unzip her leather jacket, revealing her wrapped chest, abs on display. “Shit, princess.” 
Fingers playing with the button of her trousers, waiting for her to push you away but she doesn’t. She does nothing of the sort. Vi’s breath is heavier than you’ve ever heard it. Looking down at your hands, waiting for you to pull the trigger on all of this. It’s then you realize Vi is letting you have all the control. If this is going to happen, she wants you to take it. It’s different from what you’re used to. 
A choice. 
It’s more than you could have expected. Vi isn’t pushing you away, isn’t telling you to stop. Not when you unbutton her pants and not when you suck on your fingers before slipping them beneath her boxers, feeling the soft curls and wondering if they match the drapes, before your fingers get perfectly acquainted with her. 
“Oh fuck—” Vi curses as she grabs onto your ass, lifting the short skirt you’ve been wearing all night, rucking it up to your hips as she sinks her nails into the skin. 
When you slip inside her, she clenches around your fingers, fucking her hips into your pace and Vi struggles to contain the whimpers. They flow out of her like a tidal wave. She’s been thinking about this moment with you for so long, just you and her — it’s the only thing Vi wants. 
When Vi saw you tonight she thought it was absolutely ridiculous for you to wear this strapless top, only because your nipples poked through the small fabric, but now she’s grateful you did. It’s easy to slip as she sucks a pierced nipple into her mouth. Her tongue plays with the barbell, causing you to groan as she pinches and delicately pulls at the other. As Vi kitten licks your nipple, she finds home on your ass again, before ripping your panties off. 
Her mouth is eager, hot, as she won’t stop giving attention to your chest. You’ve never wanted to kiss her more. 
“Can you take two, princess?” 
Eagerly you nod, a yearning yes falls from your lips. Vi doesn’t waste a beat. 
You try to fuck Vi harder, but she doubles down on her efforts, her fingers so deep and you feel so full. Trying to chase the high, you ride her fingers, almost as if you were riding her, your ass unable to stop humping against her. It’s just the two of you, a silent competition to get the other one off first and you can feel Vi winning. Then she’s extending her thumb, rubbing circles on your clit, and you know you’ve lost. 
“That’s it, just like that princess.” 
“Vi, Vi, baby, oh my godddddd—” 
Vi’s purely evil with every thrust of her fingers but she’s so full of light, an angel sent to you in your darkest hour. Batting her long eyelashes at you while she suckles on your bouncing tits, knuckle deep inside you as she gives you everything to just take. She’s too beautiful to look away from. With her pupils dilated, her blue eyes darker than you’ve ever seen them. Letting off your perfect tits with an obnoxious pop, she kisses up your sternum as she marks you with her lips everywhere but the place you actually want. 
But then her words revere in your mind once again. 
Don’t make it like this. 
“Look at me.” 
Eyes drifting back to her as she curls her fingers inside you, your grip on her hair iron tight, unwillingly to let go of you. 
“Such a beautiful girl, so special, so pretty when you form a sentence. The most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen. There’s no need to be jealous, babygirl, don’t need anyone else but you. Mhm, just you, alright? Yeah? Keep looking at me, yeah baby, just like this.” 
You nod, close to the brink, her compliments send a rush through your head and your throbbing clit feels it. 
The most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen. 
“Baby, I, shitttt Violettttt—” 
The name of her full name, the first time she’s ever heard it fall from your lips since the first time you met. Vi’s too close and hearing you scream her name isn’t helping. 
“C’mon, princess. Show me how pretty you can be.” Vi commands and you come undone around her fingers. 
Arching your back against the steering wheel, and the horn blows. 
You giggle and so does she but the soft moment is short lived as your body twitches, selfishly basking in the way you irrevocably coated her fingers in your cum. 
Bringing Violet with you as you pull at her hair, her face planting on on your chest as your breasts smother her moans as she jumps off the cliff with you. Sucking at the flesh, marking what she craves as you fuck yourself on her fingers, her pace even more brutal as Vi coaxes you through your blindingly, hot orgasm. 
“Just like that princess, pussy just can’t stop drenching for me, yeah? My pretty girl can paint my face next time. Do you want that? My face covered in your cum, dribbling down my chin, on my tits…you’ll clean me up though. A good girl like you will. So fuckin’ pretty.” 
One slap to your ass has you trembling, body shaking and that’s when Vi lays off, her fingers slipping out of you and you feel so empty without her. 
As if you didn’t need any more torture, you watch as she lavishes at her fingers, covered in your cum, her high cheekbones suctioning as she sucks every last drop. Vi smirks as you drool a little bit before you wipe the saliva off. Sweet as always, she doesn’t say a word. Saving you the embarrassment from a crude joke. 
One Caitlyn would definitely make. 
“Um, sorry, I think I got carried away.” 
“We both did, it’s okay, Vi.” 
There’s a soft silence, it would almost become cumbersome if it wasn’t so peaceful. The only thing you can hear is her exhale of breath as Vi tries to regain some composure. All of it feels complicated, the severed tie to Caitlyn doesn’t seem so entirely severed when her ex-girlfriend makes you come in the driver’s seat of her truck. 
If anyone found out about this, about the two of you, it would be the talk of the town. Caitlyn’s exes making a victory lap in Kirakiller’s grave. The victory is so triumphant even the goddess on top of the mountain gets scorched. It’s your worst nightmare. Your wish is to coddle this as long as you can. Savor the feeling, keeping Vi under lock and key. 
You just want to have this one thing for yourself. 
Even if you are far from her reach, she has a way of making sure any good thing gets ripped from you, torn from your hands before you even have a second to enjoy. As much as you enjoyed her company, this complicates. 
But it doesn’t stop your heart from thumping loudly. A shiver runs up your spine as Vi pulls down your skirt. There’s a tenderness to her touch as she fixes your top, covering your chest once again. You nearly lock your lips with hers when she rubs your full cheeks with the pad of her thumb, smoothing along her jaw as she leans in to kiss the tip of your nose.  Unable to snuffle it, you smile. 
It’s genuine when the light reaches your eyes. Vi says nothing, anything would be too heavy, something neither of you are ready for. A silent agreement to enjoy this moment for what it is. 
“Are you doing anything for Valentines? Mel and Sevika are having this party and I thought you might wanna go together.” The panic surges through her powder-blue eyes the moment she asks the question. 
Is that why she came tonight? Did she want to ask you? 
Reminding you of the first night you met, a party and Sevika and Mel’s but you find yourself to be in an entirely different position. The idea of a date without the pressure, you’d be surrounded by your friends. But you tremor with the thought of Violet wanting to spend Valentine’s day with you. 
“But it’s, um, perfectly fine if you already have plans. It's just I don’t want to spend it alone. Powder is off spending it with Ekko this year, Vander is doing god knows what and Silco well, that would just be pathetic if I asked him what his plans are. I really just—” 
“Violet.” 
Violet.
Violet. 
Violet. 
The second it rolls off your tongue, a crimson hue forms on her freckled cheeks, even spreading across the bridge of her nose before it coats the tips of her ears. A soft pink unlike her vibrant locks of messy hair, partially due to your tugging and pulling. 
“Sorry, Vi. It just slipped.” 
“No. I mean not no. I wasn’t trying to be rude. You can call me, Violet, if you want to.” 
I like hearing you say my name, it sounds even more beautiful than when you whispered it falling apart on my fingers. 
But Vi couldn’t say that. 
“Well then, Violet, I would love to go with you. Count me in.” 
She didn’t need to know you already had plans on going. This was much better. 
— 
Mel decides to take you up on the offer of studying at the library tonight. With your future hanging on by the thread that is your scholarship, you have to keep your grades airtight. Not to mention the downfall of your situation with Caitlyn only puts a bullseye on your back. 
The first couple of hours have been silent for the two of you, the accountability keeping you in check to stay focused. Then the third hour approaches and the two of you start to quietly converse in the nearly vacant library. 
“Did Sev tell you who came into Leagues last night?” 
Shutting your book, your eyes squint in confusion. 
“Kiramman.” 
“I thought the ship had sailed away during that fight. God, it nearly made me want to strangle her and we all know violence is more of Sev’s choice of resolution.” 
“It has. She likes checking in on her so-called…wounded. She’s never been one for grace. I wish she would make it less obvious, Leagues isn’t even her scene. Her pompous ass would never be caught dead in there when we were, well, whatever the fuck you would call us. But she’s been quite the regular ever since I cut things off. 
It’s surprising she would come to you, but on the other hand, she didn’t know where you lived. It was the only straw for her to grasp on. It’s probably killing her to know she’s been blocked on everything, no contact, a complete ghost town. Almost as if none of you even existed together, just a memory faded, one you hope to burn into ash. 
“Well, Vi was there hanging out with Gert and—” 
“She was?” 
Mel suddenly felt like she said something she shouldn’t have. 
“Appearances can be deceiving, they did talk for a bit, yes, but how does that have any level of importance?” Mel can’t hide her lips upturning. 
“Nothing.” 
“Hey kid, lighten up. I think you’re two seconds away from snapping that pencil in half.” The rasp of Sevika’s voice pulls you back to earth, but it’s too late for the pencil as the infrastructure snaps. You feel like a child, caught in doing something they shouldn’t do. 
“Oh, so this is a thing? Vi?” Mel almost speaks a little too loudly, her voice reaching endless limits as the object of your affection is named in the very silent library. “I just thought you wanted to make Kirakiller jealous. Not actually…” 
You bury your head in your notebook, wanting to strangle Sevika as you hear her chuckle, taunting you as your traitorous heart fails you in your time of need. Maliciously giving you up as your tragic negligence exposes you truly. 
Even if it’s silly, needy, or a little bit selfish — you wanted this one part of your life to be concealed from beady eyes. 
“Finally coming to your senses.” Sevika taunts. 
“Enough. I’m not…Violet and aren’t…that’s not what this is.” 
Mel gives you a knowing look, arching her perfectly arched eyebrow, hazel eyes with a ring of gold surrounding them piercing so deeply into your soul. It almost has you stuttering out how you let her fuck you in Violet’s truck, driving you back home with her warm, soft hand on your exposed thigh. Absentmindedly drawing circles into your skin. 
“Violet?” Sevika and Mel say in unison. 
“Did I say something wrong?” 
“Vi doesn’t let anyone call her that. The only one who's ever called her that is well, her family. She yelled at Kirakiller for calling her that whenever they fought. Vi looked like she could rip her tongue out.” 
The information makes your head spin, there is only so much you can take. 
“It’s just a name. Seems like Vi is preoccupied anyways. This is just so…” 
“Hey Vi!” 
You turn around, hearing her greet someone she was friendly with. In her athletic shorts and cleats, it’s clear practice had started again, her gym bag in tote. The sweat and grime layered over her face, the sleeves of her jersey rolled into her shoulders. With each movement, her muscles rippled in the dim lighting of the library. 
The navy blue jersey complimented her vibrant strands of pink, she laughs at whoever she’s talking to and she looks so happy and at peace, it makes your heart soar. Rugby always made her the happiest. Vander and Vi used to play when she was just a girl, even Powder joined as they got older but when Violet got stronger, she restricted for playing seriously with classmates her own size and not old men whose knees could give out in any second. 
She still doesn’t see you and you want to keep it that way so you turn around, minding your own even if your two closest friends in the world just watched you gawk over Violet. 
“It’s just going to get worse. Living together. It’s only a matter of time until one of you…” Sevika gestures to the pencil lying broken on the table. 
“Well, try not to act too disheartened at the party. Vi said she’s bringing someone. I’m sure it won’t work out between them. Ever since she’s gotten here she hasn’t been able to—” 
Sevika places her hand on Mel, to cue her to silence herself as Vi walks up to the table, grabbing the chair closest to you and discreetly pushes it even closer to you when she takes her seat. 
Immediately, you chastise yourself for loving how turned on you are by her sweaty body, her muscles clearly acquiring the pump from her practice, those stupid strong calves brushing against yours. You admire the scar against her top lip. Tattoos on display, making your head feel dizzy, and she leans over and asks if she can have a couple of your orange slices. Before falling right back in conversation with Sevika. 
Violet does anything to be close to you. Mel and you are engrossed in a conversation, when she shows you the video you were discussing, Vi has to lean over to see. Her arm hanging off your shoulder, her neck craning to see but when she sits back, she keeps her arm around the back of your chair. 
“How did practice go today?” You ask. 
“Fine.” But the grass stains on her shirt tell you differently, so does the burn on her exposed shin. 
“Who the fuck did you let kick your ass?” Sevika interjects before you have the chance to. 
“Can’t kick Kirakiller’s ass. Dean Kiramman might throw me out faster than I can blink. I’m already on thin ice and Kirakiller just made it worse. She doesn’t like losing.” 
Violet glances at you, her expression unreadable as she turns her attention back to Sevika. 
“Got outvoted for Team Captain and she can’t fucking stand it. You know the pompous Kirammans don't believe in democracy. One for all and all for none. Some bullshit Kirakiller says while she’s trying to out-bench me in the weight room. Not my fucking problem. Hasn’t been for a while. She went in for some cheap blows during drills. It is what it is.” 
Sevika nods her head, “Seems like you did a real number on her. She shouldn’t have fumbled half of this table.” 
“Sev.” You shoot a glaring warning. 
Violet visibly tenses but she doesn’t remove her arm, Mel elbowing Sev in the gut softly before she coughs up a quiet apology. The tension could be cut with a knife, but Violet just plays with the material of your cotton shirt, soothing herself as she tries to forget. 
“Right, yep.” An awkward silence disperses before Mel and Sevika excuse themselves leaving you and Violet alone. 
“Violet, I can talk to her. She shouldn’t be taking this out on you. This is all my fault.” 
“It’s not you, alright? Not directly. Caitlyn likes to hurt when she’s hurt. I can handle her.” 
Vi chew on her lip, breaking through skin as blood comes to the surface, the iron taste coating her tongue. 
“What’s that supposed to mean?” You question Violet. 
“She knows she can’t lash out at the one thing she wants.” 
The one thing we both want, Vi thinks to herself. 
She takes the brunt of Caitlyn’s anger and she doesn’t even know why. Maybe an understanding but doesn’t know the full picture. You’re too much of a coward to let it slip. If everything goes south, the woman you adored could truly hate you and that’s the last thing you wanted. It’s silly to even hide a secret. Especially when you feel as if she sees right through your heart when her curious blue eyes look at you. 
“Trust me, I’m playing against what I want but she’s not as done as you think she is. She’ll come back for you, princess. You’re someone anyone would come back for. I’m the low totem pole trash found underneath her designer sole, there’s never been a place for me in her life.” 
“Don’t do that.” 
“It’s the truth.” 
“No, it isn’t. You’re more than how she treated you. Don’t talk about yourself like that. It’s the furthest thing from the truth.” 
Vi nods, tries to offer a smile, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. 
“What really happened? You look banged up and it looks more than just a rough practice. You know you can tell me anything. I’m all ears for you.” 
Vi struggles for a moment, and contemplates on telling you the truth. You deserve to know the truth and she knows that but she also can’t stand for Caitlyn to hurt another piece of you. This entire time apart from Caitlyn, you’ve done your best to separate and get over her. She can’t be the person to make you feel any worse about the situation. 
Caitlyn can’t get more in the way, she won’t allow it. 
“Kiramman just being a cunt, okay? It’s nothing I can’t handle.” 
“Okay but I’m cleaning that cut on your arm when we get home.” You nudge your shoulder against hers. Talking solace as she places her head in the crook of your neck. 
“Whatever you want, princess.” 
Then the question nags in the back of your mind, I saw her with Gert. But you’re putting her with Caitlyn. You think she’s cheating on you but there’s isn’t anything to cheat on. You’ve never spoken about that night in her pick-up truck but still dream of it. 
Luscious, greedy cunt taking her fingers in ease as you fucked her to completion. The whines she made, how harmonious they were with your own. The image stays imprinted on your mind, scorching the deepest depths of your mind for all eternity to see. 
But it’s not everyone taking a look. 
It’s just you. Keeping a lid on it has been more than you bargained for. Vi is the person who has been there to help you. When you’ve felt like the cards are stacked against you, it’s her that pulls you out. Every day after the breakup, if you could even call it that, you evidently were just a warm body to fuck for Caitlyn, Violet was there to make sure you were okay. 
The daily check-ins, making sure you were staying hydrated through all the tears, cooking dinner for the both of you when she knows you skipped lunch. It’s the little things you’re beating yourself up over and it makes you wonder what was really going on. 
If Caitlyn had taught you anything, it was people did fuck you because that’s the only thing they want. But you wanted Violet to be different. More than you ever had than Caitlyn, you need her to be more than what you’ve always been. 
“Are you alright, princess? Lost you there for a second.” 
You hope she never does. And you never want to lose her. You swallow your jealousy, you decide to trust, despite your best efforts; your heart remains unprotected. You chose blind trust, even if you know better, you lean into the faith. 
“Yeah, I’m here with you. Promise.” 
There’s red, pink, and white — everywhere. Mel is passionate about Valentine's day. In weeks of build up, this party is all she spoke of. Dragging you along to shop when buying decorations, but you didn’t mind. Sevika covering you at the bar means one less shift this week. After last night’s events, you could use the breather. 
If Sev wasn’t there, putting the men in place, the status of your safety would severely be in question. Vi came after you called, just complaining about it on your break, and thirty minutes later she sat on your section of the bar with one of her favorite books in hand. 
“You didn’t have to come. See? Still in one piece.” 
“Mhm and that’s how I want you to stay. Sorry princess, I’m not going anywhere.” 
It’s not like you needed any more reason to enjoy her company. You have too many. And they come to your mind as needy as a bee to honey. It’s why you bail on coming as a pair, you had a valid excuse, but you also knew if Mel knew why you were helping decorate their home she would literally kick you back to be with Violet. 
Hanging the banner in the entry was the last of your duties and before you knew it everyone was shuffling in one by one. The party is in full swing by the time Violet walks in the front door and you nearly collapse from just how damn good she looks. A bouquet of flowers, an assortment of pink and yellow roses with a few lilies meticulously placed in the arrangement. 
“I hope it’s not too much but I wanted to do something nice for you.” 
“They are beautiful, Violet. You really didn’t have to.” 
She smiles as she leans in to kiss your temple, “Of course I did.” 
The rest of the night goes off without a hitch, the games Mel has planned are fun. Everyone engages with each other and it is surprisingly pleasant. The only unsettling feeling stirring in the pit of your stomach is the ginger in the corner who has been eyeing you all night but the shirley temples you’ve been drinking all night has you dazed, sitting on Violet’s lap with her arms wrapped around your waist. 
Vi’s a bit inebriated as she plays with the hem of your dress, whispering how beautiful you look in your ear. You fidget in her hold, grinding against her even when you’re really not even meaning to. 
Astoundingly, the door slams, her arrival being announced. 
Uninvited and as prompt as ever. 
“Oh, so this—“ Caitlyn gestures to Vi as if she’s the sticky gum on the bottom of her overpriced sneaker, “my leftovers is why you chose to end things?” 
She’s charging as the ginger gets up from her seat, trying to hold Caitlyn back but she fails but in an instant, Vi stands up. Every protective bone in her body goes hyperactive, proving herself as a blockade between you and the devil herself. The smirk Vi wears makes Caitlyn violently scowl. She may be taller, but she’s smaller, thinner, not packing nearly as much muscle in her punch. 
There was nothing she would love more than to punch that stupid, coy fucking smile off her face. 
“What are you gonna do, cupcake?” She says the once endearing nickname, crathing to slither underneath her skin, she wants to piss her off to no end. Make Caitlyn regret ever fucking with either of you. It’s all this ever was, a game. Kiramman’s are always desperate to win, to annihilate your opponent. Any future moves made would be contingent in how she made you feel. 
“Get out of my way, Violet.” 
“Call me that again and I’ll knock your teeth out. And what are you going to do about it? Everyone may be afraid of you outside of the field, but in case you have forgotten, this isn't on campus where things are done the Kiramman way. If you wanna take a cheap shot at me, better make it count.” 
With a careful gaze, Caitlyn’s eyes beam down to the hand clinging to Vi’s bicep, how you’re looking at Vi and touching her skin and how dreadful you look to her. 
She directs her voice to you, “What? You’re gonna pick her over me? Like we mean nothing?” 
Bitterly, you laugh, but it isn’t funny. Not one bit. 
“It’s painful, isn’t it? Being on the other side of it.” Taking a step forward, leaning against Violet’s shoulder, intertwining your fingers together. “Those were your words exactly, Kiramman. This is nothing.” 
“I–” For the first time, right before your eyes, she’s stunned. For the first time since she’s met you, she’s speechless. 
“Caitlyn, we should just–” 
“Maddie, enough.” 
The both of you have done more than just rattle her, you’ve surprised her and Violet would be smiling so damn wide if Caitlyn still wasn’t in front of her. 
“Baby, can we talk about this? Just a minute of your time and we can sort this out.” Violet won’t stand for the desperate pleas for a moment longer. She takes a step forward, getting in Kiramman’s face, “I think you and your little orange muppet should get the fuck out before I throw you out myself.” 
“This isn’t any of your business, Vi.” 
“When you’re talking to my girl like that, it really fucking is.” 
My girl. 
Violet seems to be two seconds away from physically throwing her out when Mel finally interjects. “Caitlyn, you are unwelcome, uninvited, and you’re trespassing. I ask that you please leave before other extreme measures need to be taken.” 
A venomous scoff leaves her lips as Maddie drags her away, slamming the door on her way out. 
You're rattled, but not from Caitlyn, but from the assertiveness you didn’t know Vi possessed. The implications of this would serve consequences to not just Vi but to you but you couldn’t focus on that right now. She had called you her girl. 
Vi’s girl. 
“Well now that’s out of the way…” Mel jokes, lightening the mood as the party jumps back in full swing. But all you hear is Vi’s voice calling you hers and it’s like she knows what you’re thinking of when she spares a glance. 
“I’m sorry it just slipped but I couldn’t stand her looking at you like that. Like you were some piece of meat she can have whenever she wants.” Violet apologizes. Rubbing the back of your hand with your thumb, tracing her name into your skin. 
“It’s okay, um, it was actually really hot…” Immediately, she takes a step forward in an effort to be closer to you. “I-I’ve never really seen you be so uh–” 
“What princess?” Mischievously, she girls her head, biting her lip right before she licks them, her tongue piercing teasing you. 
“I dunno…it was just really hot seeing you like that…calling me that.” 
“My girl?” Vi smiles. It’s so genuine, making you swoon with a sincerity only she can give. 
“Yeah, something like that, maybe.” 
“I can call you a lot more things if you want. Wanna take a bet if they actually locked their bathroom?” 
Neither of you have ever moved so quickly in your life. Clothes get thrown on the tile the minute the two of you are alone, pressing your frame against the door as she decorates your neck in sovereign possession. She never wants anyone to question, you’re her girl. 
“Vi, do you,  fuccckkkk, really think this is a good idea?” She only grunts in reply as you're nearly fully exposed, your weeping cunt grinding against the muscular thigh she offers so graciously. Your friendship with her hangs in the balance, and you don’t want to think about that right now but you can’t help but have your doubts. 
“We can stop if you want to. Whatever you want.” Vi moves to remove her thigh until you whimper, tugging her closer by her pink hair towards you. 
“I didn’t say that. Please, don’t stop.” 
“Mhm, okay princess but only because you asked so nicely.” 
Vi pushes her against your pussy, your hips falling more erratic as Violet gets lost in your neck. Lips marking whatever inch of skin they can find as your folds get the needed friction from her trousers. Blindly sucking on the sweet spot behind your ear, making you putty in her hands. 
With a tight grip, you pull at her vibrant hair, her roots grounding you as the build in the pit of your stomach increases. But she pulls away just when you’re getting close. If your hands didn’t have the edge of the sink to hold onto, you’re not sure your legs would have supported you. 
“Did you want to stop?” 
“No.” Vi smirks. 
“Then why the hell did you?” 
She says nothing, infuriating you further. It almost pisses you off to the point where it’s painful. Vi keeps smirking at god knows what. Maybe she finds you just as pathetic as Caitlyn does. It may have been a distant future, when Caitlyn had actually been decent in her freshman year, her and Vi were the talk of the town until it all abruptly ended and no one knew why. You’ve never asked. 
Vi’s friendly with you but not to the point where she’s an open book. She’s hardly an open book with anyone, she’s careful when she hooks up with others. Especially with the who, she doesn’t want someone who's going to go off and tell the rest of campus how many fingers she used while she makes them come. 
But now, you like her. Really fucking badly. 
The way she snapped on her, protecting you, nearly connecting her fist with Caitlyn’s sharp jawline. It’s one of the reasons you’re in here with her. But still, not knowing the reason makes you feel slightly unsettled. 
There's been different rumors over the past few years surrounding Vi the sweetest girl around and Kirakiller. All of them painting Caitlyn in a god awful light. 
Kirakiller cheated on Vi. 
Vi left because Kirakiller didn’t want to make things official. 
Kirakiller‘s tenacious appetite for the bedroom couldn’t be satisfied by Vi. 
Kirakiller said Vi couldn’t make her come. 
The list goes on and on, and on. Neither of them were seen to be around each other again, not until Caitlyn seemed to catch you in her web. It was the sin of the century. Vi’s roommate seeing her ex-girlfriend. It was messy to say the least. A few long weeks and you cooking Vi her favorite meal, buying her favorite sour candy in bulk, along with some new gadget for her computer she’d been wanting. 
It’s all it took to forgive you. Her only request was to keep Caitlyn out of the apartment while she was here. She never spoke about her again and you never pressed the wound. If Vi didn’t ever want to talk about it but why they broke up gnawed at you. 
But Violet doesn’t seem to give a shit about that right now. 
“Get on your knees, princess.” 
You obliged as Vi took off the sweater, revealing a grey fitted tank-top, showing off just how fit she stayed in the crisp of winter. 
“Good girl. Now, take off my belt, yeah?” 
You released the belt from the latch, pulling it through the loop and handing it to Vi. Her firm grip grabs the belt, as she kneels behind you, bounding your wrists together by the smooth, cold leather. It’s black with a silver clasp, it feels nice against your wrists as she tightens it. As far as you can tell, it’s new and it makes you wonder if she bought it for just an occasion like this. 
Wrists bound behind your back, Vi slaps the fat of your ass before soothing over with delicate fingers, the calloused pads of her fingers playing with your puckered hole as she thumbs it gently. 
Pulling it back for a moment, collecting saliva in her warm mouth before drooling over your ass. Smothering her own spit, a place you’d never let anyone touch. You've convinced yourself all this time it’s because of your boundaries but when Vi did it, you didn’t have a problem with it. Then you realize you have trust with Vi, one you hadn’t had with anyone else. 
It was just a spur of the moment, two horny girls lonely and single, needing someone else but you also know Vi wasn’t one to sleep with half the campus. She’s a one-woman kind of girl. Maybe you need that trust. 
You’re hesitant, still but you can’t bring yourself to say no. She’s attentive, making sure you’re alright with each moment. Not wanting to push you past a limit both of you can’t come back from. 
“Is this alright?” Vi whispers into your ear as if she can read your mind. 
“Yeah, it’s good.” You take a beat before moaning as you lean into her chest, “A little too good.” 
Vi chuckles into your ear, the vibrations tingle throughout your body. Suddenly your mind is wondering how a simple giggle can make you feel so soaked. With a gentle hand, her thumb keeps on playing with your ass as she maneuvers you into her lap and that’s when you feel it. 
A faux cock. 
“Is that a—” You want to ask but for the first time in your life, you feel shy. 
“A cock?” 
“Someone’s cocky.” 
You both giggle at your innuendo. 
Lightly, with soaked fingers she pulls out of your lips, she rims your puckered hole, a coveted limit in your body but with her, you so freely wish to give it. 
The eye contact feels awfully intimate but you can’t bring yourself to tear yourself away. It’s entirely new to you. Caitlyn never liked to look you in the eyes when she fucked you. Always something to hide, how she truly feels about you is privy to anyone else but her. 
You didn’t have the right to know. 
With Vi, everything becomes so clear. 
It’s crystal clear when she asks if she can slide a finger inside your ass, it’s overly intimate when you tell her yes as your eyes never leave hers. Her eyes are as hooded as you’ve ever seen them but she won’t break eye contact. Not for a second. You’re questioning if she’s even blinking. 
With each passing second, her pink hair surrounds you as her forehead pressed against yours, blue eyes open as she asks again if you’re okay with it. You give her another yes before her middle finger slides in your mouth, your tongue circling the digit before sucking on it dramatically. Letting off with a pop, Vi teases your forbidden hole one more time before she gently coaxes you open for her. 
“Shit, Shit, that’s—” You squint your eyes shut. The new sensation is a little too much for your brain to process much less the fluttering pressure in the pit of your stomach. 
“Look at me, princess. Keep your eyes on me, alright?” Vi lightly commands, her tone as sweet as you’ve ever heard it. 
With the sweet words thrown your way, your eyes flutter open, long eyelashes kissing your brow bone. Vi smiles softly, her top lip lifting as she sees the way you’re looking at her. 
Kirakiller is so fucking stupid, Vi thinks to herself be she keeps the words to herself. 
Vi stretches you more as her entire finger sits within you, waiting for you to be ready for more and when you are, she nearly comes herself. You’re louder than anyone she’s ever been with. She’s thankful for the loud music Mel insisted on, some shitty pop tune drowning out the two of you. Violet’s never been so thankful. 
Those shitty pop tunes are drowning the especially deafening screams of Vi’s name until your vocal chords are shot. With a strong wrist and the flick of her wrist, she can tell you’re already close. 
“Fuck, I’m sorry, I’ve never done this before.” Shining eyes are glossy as ever as you struggle to keep them open and focused on her. “Never felt this, shiiiittttt, Vi, please. I’m so close.” 
“What do you mean? Has no one ever fucked your ass? You’ve been sleeping with Kiramman. How have you not—” 
“Never let her.” That sends Vi’s clit throbbing viciously. 
“Kirakiller’s an ass lover, everyone knows that.” 
“Are we gonna sit her talking about her the entire time or are you gonna make me come?” Agitating you roll your eyes but Vi licks her lips slowly as a distraction, pulling your attention to her pierced tongue and then you feel another finger stretch at your ass. 
“What did you say, princess? Something about coming?” Vi uses another finger, her long digits spreading the slit in your lower lips, making a mess as she spreads the pre-cum spilling out of you. “Be a good girl won’t you?” Vi pinches your clit and just like that your eyes shut again, a completely shattering orgasm washed over you. 
Body twitching as Vi keeps you in her hold with a strong grip, your body riding against her fingers but she isn’t too pleased for a moment as she tuts. 
“What did I say princess? Eyes open, now.” You struggle, again, but you’re able to meet her demand. There’s an urge to look away, to hide in Vi’s pink hair, her tattooed neck, but you do none of it. Dangerous eyes look at yours as she fucks you through it. You wanted to tug at her hair, pull her closer to you, but hands are bound so all you can do is take it, with loud moans being released, ones you’re trying to control but utterly fail to do so. 
“So pretty like this, yeah? God, those gorgeous eyes of yours are gonna get me in trouble. Crying for me like that, makes me wanna take you back to our home and fuck you on my bed, baby. You’re such a beautiful girl and deserve to be treated like one, my sweet girl.” 
Vi isn’t sure if you’re crying from the intimacy or from the orgasm, probably both. It’s not a secret since the start of the semester you’d been with Kiramman but Vi knew first hand what that meant. There’s no eye contact, no cuddling, no reassurances, it’s just sex. When Vi was going through it herself, she could see the toll it even took on Caitlyn but she didn't break. Her resolve is rock solid and Vi had learned it the hard way, just as she supposed you did. 
It was an endless cycle and it seems Kiramman continued it again with you. It’s evil the way she pulls you apart, makes each part of you feel special, like you’re her entire world and there’s no one else but there always is someone else. Always. Kiramman will lie through her perfectly aligned teeth but there is always someone she keeps for a backup. 
Vi wipes away your tears as she soothes you with soft whispers and delicate hands running up and down your back. It feels like the easiest thing she’s done, soothing you into serenity. With gentle care, she takes the belt off of your wrists, rubbing soft circles over the sensitive skin as you come back to yourself. The alcohol feels like a memory. Her kindness makes your head spin and your heart flutter. 
Now, you understand why the two of them never worked. 
Vi is everything Caitlyn struggles to be. 
It’s like looking in a mirror of everything you want to be but knowing you’ll never be her. The imperfection of Caitlyn’s kindness and the overabundance of Vi’s is probably too much of a bruise to her ego. One could see how much it would eat her alive. Vi helps you relocate your clothes that are scattered across the bathroom floor. Shamelessly, she watches as you dress yourself again, not one to look away from the woman she had screaming her name not even five minutes prior. 
“You’re so beautiful, can’t keep my eyes off you.” 
“C’mon Violet. We live together, I’m the same ole’ me. Now, you’ve just fucked my ass.” You try to brush off the compliment. You feel more similar to Caitlyn then you’d like to admit. Vi’s wholeheartedness is overwhelming, leaving a sting of longing every time she looks at you with a light in her curious eyes. 
You slip on your dress and Vi is quick to zip you up but not without kissing the nape of your neck. 
Tonight’s actions suddenly feel very sobering. 
Vi isn’t done with you as she lifts you up on the countertop, finding her sweatshirt before she covers her toned figure again. You’re wondering what she’s playing at. What she’s thinking about. Vi finds your heels, the versace platform heels Caitlyn had gifted you for your birthday a week after the fact. A pity gift. Similar to herself, you couldn’t say no, it was just too pretty. 
They’re too expensive to come from a broke college student. Vi knows where they came from but she exercises that tight lip of hers. 
With a gentle tap, she taps your calf lightly a couple times and you offer your leg to her as she slaps the heel back onto your feet, clasping the strap around your ankle before she does the same for the other. The both of you stare at the lingering hands on your thighs, rubbing soft circles into the skin, the bluntness of her fingernail causes goosebumps to spread across the skin. 
Caitlyn is terrified of this, something so soft and fragile, her grip would be too tight; she’d break you in the process. She’s a chapter you want to close. All you want now is the woman in front of you. 
Vi has only ever been just a friend and she treats you like this. An imaginative mind, one of your own making, starts to wonder…if Vi was in love with Caitlyn, was she even sweeter to her? If her golden heart wasn’t enough for Caitlyn, whose would it be? 
The question makes you lost on the idea. Maybe it’s the post-nut clarity of being fucked like you just were, but you see Vi an entirely new light. One that feels as blinding as the sun but she’s smothering you with a perfect amount of warmth. 
“So…that happened.” Lightly, Vi laughs trying to brush off the seriousness of the moment. 
“Yeah and it seems you came packing.” 
Mel has been talking her up all week, telling her she wasn’t just seeing things, all she had to do was give you space and you would come to her slowly. It seems like Mel hadn’t been totally wrong. You are clearly attracted to her but the more protective side of her mind wonders if this is all that it extends to — sex. 
The flashback of Caitlyn and all her little twisted games comes to mind while your curious eyes inspect her intensely. 
“It’s just a stroke of optimism.” Vi tries to control her breathing when you close your legs around her waist, crossing your legs over the other as you lock her into a secure position. 
The tight dress you’re wearing bunches up again, almost resting on your hips. 
“I think you were wanting to stroke something else.” 
“Uh. No. I was, definitely…okay…maybe I was. A little bit.” Vi admits as you continue to play with her hair, your heel lightly grazing her bum as you tease her for just a little bit longer. 
“It’s cute. I like it when you’re confident. You packed a cock in your pants because you wanted to fucked me tonight. Be proud about it. Yeah, maybe you didn’t get to use it but you sure did fuck me.” 
“How do you do that?” 
“Do what?” 
“You’re so brave. Nothing stands in your way, when you want something you go after it. I could never do that.” 
“Well, you kinda did. Unless, um—” But the words die in your throat. Suddenly they seem too real and if you tell her, this whole charade will be over, reality will set in and this magical night will only be reduced to primal, drunken needs. 
For all you know, Vi didn’t mean any of this. Maybe you just wanted to get your pussy wet, wanted to fuck a pretty girl, needed to see some tits to get her through this lonely holiday. The one that patronizes the single. 
Maybe that’s all this is. You’re just a nice piece of ass to fuck. It makes you feel dirty, the air feels thinner, and before you know it Vi’s whispering in your ear to take deep breaths. 
“Princess, I’m right here, alright. Just breathe and tell me. It’s alright. I’m not going to hurt you.” 
“I-I just thought because you know, well, after the last month I thought I was more than just…” 
“A girl I wanna fuck?” 
“Yeah.” 
“Well, you are. Would that be such a bad thing? I know with Caitlyn you had something casual, and maybe you liked things that way, but I want something more serious. I don't want to play with your feelings and I don’t want you to play mine. If this is what you want then I think it’d be worth a shot but if not, we can just be friends, alright? There’s no pressure.” 
“But Natalie…you said she wanted something serious and you didn’t.” 
“I lied to you and I’m sorry for that. But I wanted something serious, just not with her.” 
“You know what you want.” You stated it more like a question, puzzled and perplexed about a woman, for the first time, saying exactly what she’s looking for. 
“Well…yeah? I respect you enough not to waste your time.” Her eyes gleam, expectant and waiting for you to answer. 
“I’ve never had someone so honest with me. I kinda don’t know what to do with it.” 
The most sincere eyes look into yours, as she leans into your fingers that play with her vibrant, violet hair. It’s all so fast but Vi nurtures everything once broken within you until you’re healthy once again, restoring the strength you once felt before your heart stopped listening to your head. 
It’s a warm, comforting feeling you want to sink into. She’s the closest you’ve had to a semblance of hope. You wondered how anyone could ever let go of her. It wasn’t that she had just given you the best orgasm of your life, it was more than that. Vi made you feel more in thirty minutes than Caitlyn had in your entire time together. 
There wasn’t a worry in the back of your mind if this mattered, if you mattered. Her eyes were so open, letting you into the love dripped like honey, full of sweetness, every empty jar of yours waiting to be filled. 
“Don’t do anything right now then. For now,” Vi leaned forward, her lips ghosting yours. Close enough where her breath could be felt on yours. “I don’t know where you’re at but I’ve never felt like this, about anyone, and if you wanna start slow we can. Although, we have twice now so I don’t know how slow we can actually go, or we could even go on real date and then you can decide but—”
“Violet?” 
“Yeah?” 
“You talk too much.” 
You lean in and Vi doesn’t waste the opportunity, capturing your top lip between hers, wanting nothing more than to get lost in every inch of you. Holding you like a delicate flower she’s afraid to crumple in her hands, Vi lets herself get lost in this. 
For once she doesn’t think of the consequences, if this is moving too fast, wondering what Caitlyn would do if she knew and who she would actually be jealous of. It’s a slippery slope, you messing with her, Vi messing with you. 
But she desperately wants it to be more than your roommate, more than a friend — more than secret meeting where Vi fucks you senseless. She can’t get into this and for it to mean nothing and she’s terrified Caitlyn already has her claws dung in deep to you. Then there’s a moan of Vi’s name being said, and her greedy tongue slips in your mouth as she aches for more of you. 
Strong arms wrap around your waist, pulling your frame impossibly close to her, commanding your mouth with her pierced tongue as if she was born for it, the coolness of the stainless steel ball tangled with your tongue is a high you want to chase. With every touch, a shiver runs up her spine, like there’s a live wire exposed within you and only her touch can spark it alive. 
Vi knows where you want to be touched before you say a word, like she has a connection to your mechanisms, every craving designed for her to carry out as if she’s the one who put them there in the first place. Violet’s pelvis presses against yours, as she gives you the kiss of your life, it leaves you breathless as you chase her lips, your grip pulling at her roots as if it’s your sole purpose in life. 
The rest of the world melts away and it’s just the two of you. The lingering shadow of your ex fades into the background and all you see is Violet. Right under your nose this entire time and only now do you realize just how wonderfully perfect she is. 
Violet ravishes in how good it feels to be chosen and it’s by you. 
The angel who can fly all on her own now; wings no longer clipped by the devil herself. 
Fin. 
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limethefirst · 6 months ago
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Hello! I've read you're shadow fanfiction and it's just absolutely amazing!! Can I request a shadow x teen reader(platonic) where the reader stays with robotnik and stone but isn't related like they just decided to keep them because they were useful and when shadow comes around he grows an attachment to them and constantly wants to protect them
Please and thank you!!!!
Guardian Hedgehog
pairings: Shadow the Hedgehog x teen!reader (platonic)
warnings: slight sonic 3 spoilers
summary: Shadow finds himself getting attached again, but maybe this outcome will be different from the rest
a/n: thank you so much for being patient and enjoying my other stories! Here’s your request, I hope you enjoy it as much as the others!
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When you first met Shadow, he quite literally jump scared you. You were walking down the dark corridor with Knuckles the Echidna, he was letting out a nervous mumble about supposedly not being scared but you could tell he was from his shaking. You didn’t blame him though, this place was creepy that’s for sure, you wanted to go with Robotnik or Stone but Sonic had very little faith in you three so instead you had to pair up with Knuckles.
As you walked with him, your arms crossed you let out an annoyed groan, sure this place was creepy and weird and actually somewhat scary…but nothing would get you, so why make a big fuss anyway.
“Boo”
And that is how you met Shadow. By getting unintentionally scared and jumping behind the smaller echidna.
From that point forward it seemed as if he wanted to just stick by your side, which you didn’t really mind. It was actually quite funny; when Robotnik would reprimanded you for messing up a task, Shadow would give him a mean glare, which happened a lot in the short amount of time he was with you.
Even Gerald noticed it, although he didn’t say anything about it. It was you and Shadow’s little thing, like he was your little guardian.
Currently you were in London, inside The Crab, watching the novela on the T.V.
“Gabriela should kill them both, she’s not a prize to be won,” Shadow grumbled, his focus on the show in front of him. You let out a small nod, not turning back to look at him, disgustingly engrossed in the show.
Stone only let out a chuckle, telling Shadow not to be so negative before he called out to you, “Hey, could you slice up these avocados for me while I use the mortar to grind them?”
You gave a quick glance back before standing, eyes lingering back to the show every once and while. Shadow watched the interaction subconsciously moving a bit closer to where you were.
As you stood next to Stone on the counter you weren’t paying as much attention to the knife in your hand as you should’ve as you suddenly cut the tip of your index finger.
“Ah shoot,” you hissed out, dropping both the knife and the avocado in your hand onto the counter. Within a second Shadow had immediately teleported to your side, his head raised to get a look at what happened to you.
Stone also turned, putting down his bowl and taking a look, “Just a small cut don’t be so over dramatic,” he sarcastically said.
“If it were the Dr you’d probably already call an ambulance…” you replied with a snarky tone, teasing him a bit. He gave you a short glance before grabbing a first aid kit and handing it to you.
Shadow watched you the entire time, his face as stoic as ever, but his moves precise. He would check the cut then your body language seeing if you were in anytime of pain. Honestly it was a bit of an over exaggeration on his part but he felt the need to protect you and in that moment he sensed it was like he failed you.
As you took the first aid kit you turned over to Shadow, before you even got the chance to open it he’d already taken it from you, “What are you doing?” You questioned him.
“Fixing your cut,” he plainly replied.
“Awe you’re like an angel sent from above!”
“Don’t call me that.”
You chuckled before sitting down on the ground so Shadow had an easier time helping you. Shadow didn’t want to admit it but he found your banter with him endearing and tolerable compared with most others.
As you sat there, you watched Shadow disinfect the cut, drying it once he was done.
“You’re good at that, have you done this before?” You asked him, watching as he grabbed one of the kiddy bandaids in the kit.
“I have experience,” was all he said, not feeling the need to go into detail, most of his focus currently on making sure your cut was secure.
Slowly he unwrapped your bandaid, Patrick the Starfish was the one you got, they were all little kid bandaids since you were in charge of making sure all the first aid kits were packed.
You watched as he put it around your finger, his eyes very focused on the task at hand. Quietly he gave a curt nod once he was done, signaling that you could get up now.
As you stood up you took a look at your bandaid, you gave a small smile, “Thanks Shadow,” you quietly said, patting the hedgehog on the head.
He didn’t tell you anything, his job was done, you were okay now and he could relax.
Shadow wouldn’t do what he had just done for you for most people, but even he knew it was a little different when it came to you. The longer he’d been around you, the harder it was to detach himself, in fact, he’d found himself growing more attached.
Maybe it was okay for him to finally get attached again, maybe things wouldn’t be so bad this time. Everything would be alright.
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surielstea · 7 months ago
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Undercover Affection
Based on a request!
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Pairing: Azriel x Fem!Reader
Summary: While on a mission with Azriel, you must pretend to be a couple. During which it’s revealed that Azriel and you are mated.
Warnings: none (that I know of)
A.Note: After a month of ghosting you guys I’m finally back!! And with a fic I’m very proud of so I hope you guys enjoy!!
7.9k word count.
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The instructions had been simple enough: "Blend in, gather information, and avoid getting caught." But for some reason, Rhysand had thought it necessary to throw in an extra condition—one Azriel seemed to want to claw his way out of.
"I work alone." The shadow singer gritted through his teeth, shadows billowing over his impressively sized wings.
"Not for this mission, you won't." The High Lord immediately dismisses him, not batting an eye at the male who perhaps every other fae in Prythian was terrified of.
"She's not ready, she'll be a distraction." Azriel counters. A foreign part of you panged with disappointment at that. Did he really find you so incompetent?
Rhys argues back immediately, his anger beginning to ramp up to meet Azriel's and you quickly decide you didn't want to be anywhere near when they collided. "You told me yourself just last week she's the best spy you've ever trained."
Your eyebrows lift a fraction at what Rhys had unconsciously confessed, the barest reaction but enough for the shadow singer to pick up on. His hazel eyes flicked to your own gaze, then back to Rhysand's.
They seemed to be having a conversation, one you couldn't hear. You doubted you'd ever get used to that, the way Rhys could slip into someone's mind—even someone as guarded as Azriel. A shiver went down your spine as you thought about the power of the High Lord of Night.
"You have to be out of your mind if you think I'll ever put her in that kind of danger." Azriel seethed to his brother through the mental connection, unable to even fathom the idea of you having a target on your back.
"She may be your mate but she is also your disciple, did you seriously think she'd never go out into the field?" Rhys could sense his anger, feel it ebbing against a shield that was thinning.
"I only taught her spy work so she'd know how to protect herself—never to put her in harm's way," Azriel says, his frustration making his voice sound almost pleading.
"Then you know she can protect herself. You will be beside her every step of the way, what she wants to do is entirely her decision." Rhys remarks.
"And what if the bond snaps? It could jeopardize the mission—much more, her safety." Azriel poses, the scenario would make all hell break loose in all situations.
"Are you implying you can't keep her safe?" Rhys taunts, the words finding their mark in the Spy Masters head.
You watch their expressions closely, attempting to pick up on what they were saying but the only reaction you could spot was the way Azriel's jaw feathered as he pushed off Rhysand's desk and turned to me.
"Do you think you're ready for this?" There was a certain softness in his eyes you only got rare glimpses of, the sight making you swallow hard.
Your throat felt tight, but you straightened your shoulders and lifted your chin. "I am." Your voice didn't waver, though the intensity of his hazel eyes made it a near thing.
Rhys sighed, leaning back in his chair as he surveyed you both with a calculating air. The quiet smile tugging at his lips felt almost dangerous like he already knew the outcome of a game you hadn't even realized you were playing.
"The ball," he began, voice smooth, "is being hosted by High Fae whose loyalty to Prythian is questionable at best. Whispers suggest they're courting alliances with forces hostile to Velaris. If true, this could be the first move toward rebellion."
He slid a detailed sketch across the desk. The male's sharp features and cold, calculating eyes etched into the paper made your stomach tighten. Rhys's voice remained steady as he continued. "Kaieel is the orchestrator. We need names, allies, plans—anything we can use to dismantle his efforts before they gain traction. The masks and secrecy of the event work in our favor. You'll attend, blend in with the crowd, and leave no trace of your presence."
"And our cover?" you asked, though you weren't sure you wanted the answer.
Rhys's lips twitched. "Newlyweds."
The single word hit you like a jolt of lightning. Your heart stumbled, catching somewhere between shock and disbelief. "A couple?" you uttered, trying to keep your voice even.
"A young pair enamored with each other and blissfully distracted. The perfect cover." Rhys's eyes sparkled with mirth, though his tone was all business. "An unattached male draws suspicion. A pair in love does not."
Azriel didn't react outwardly, but his silence spoke volumes. You risked a glance at him, finding his gaze fixed somewhere distant. Was the idea truly so unbearable to him?
"The priority," Rhys continued, "is information. If your cover is compromised, you extract yourselves immediately. But until then, you'll need to act the part—dancing, whispering... perhaps even a kiss or two, if the situation calls for it."
"Rhys," Azriel growled, low and lethal.
Rhys only smirked, clearly enjoying his brother's discomfort. "Relax, Az. You might even have fun. Any questions?"
You shook your head, pulse hammering. The mission was simple in theory, but with Azriel by your side—close enough to feel his warmth, to brush against the bond neither of you had spoken of—it felt like you were stepping into something far more dangerous than a ballroom full of enemies.
"Good," Rhys said, dismissing you both with a wave. "You leave at dusk."
Azriel turned abruptly, the tension in his wings a visible reminder of the storm brewing within him. As he stalked toward the door, you followed, already bracing yourself for the days to come.
Whatever lay ahead, one thing was clear: the mission wouldn't just test your skills as a spy—it would test every fragile boundary you and Azriel had built between the two of you.
You smoothed your hands down the fabric of your gown, the soft, luxurious material clinging perfectly to your frame before pooling at your feet. It was a deep shade of midnight grey, almost black, designed to shimmer as if it were the color of the moon itself, glimmering silver in the right lighting. The neckline dipped just enough to be daring without crossing into scandalous, and the fitted bodice accentuated every curve. The gown was a far cry from the shadowy leathers you had grown accustomed to during training.
Your fingers brushed over the mask lying on the vanity before you. It was delicate, intricate silver filigree adorned with tiny crystals that caught the light to match my dress. The sight of it alone made your stomach twist with nerves, though you refused to let the feeling take hold. You were a spy, not some jittery debutante.
Focus.
Your gaze shifted to the mirror as you adjusted the gown again, letting out a slow breath. The transformation was undeniable; the person staring back at you looked like they belonged at this kind of event. For a moment, you barely recognized yourself, and that unfamiliarity was almost reassuring. If you didn't recognize yourself, maybe no one else would either.
The soft knock at the door startled you. You turned, calling out, "Come in."
The door creaked open, and Azriel stepped inside, closing it behind him with deliberate care.
Your breath was stolen from your lungs at the sight of the Shadow Singer.
He wore an all-black suit that looked as though it had been tailored specifically for him—and knowing the resources of the Night Court, it probably had. The sharp lines of the jacket emphasized the breadth of his shoulders, and the subtle sheen of the fabric only added to the air of elegance that clung to him. His wings were glamoured away, leaving no trace of their presence—which was upsetting, but it was his eyes that made up for it—those piercing hazel eyes, framed by long lashes that truly captured your attention. They swept over you in a single, assessing glance, and you swore you caught the faintest flicker of surprise before his features smoothed into their usual calm.
"You look..." His voice trailed off, and for once, he seemed at a loss for words.
"Like I'm about to infiltrate a ball filled with potential traitors to Velaris?" you offered lightly, trying to break the tension that had settled in the room.
"I was going to say beautiful, but that works too," he said simply, his voice low and even. The words sent a strange warmth curling through your chest, though you quickly buried it.
Azriel crossed the room, the measured grace of his movements a reminder of the lethal precision he carried with him always. He stopped just in front of you, holding out his hand. "Your mask."
You hesitated for a fraction of a second before handing it to him. His gloved fingers brushed against yours as he took it, and you were acutely aware of how close he was as he moved behind you.
The brush of his knuckles against your temple sent a shiver down your spine as he adjusted the mask, tying the soft ribbons at the back of your head with deft fingers. His scent—night-chilled mist and cedar—wrapped around you, a quiet distraction that made it hard to focus.
"There," he murmured, adjusting your hair around the ribbon before stepping back just enough for you to turn and face him. His eyes lingered on yours for a moment, and you wondered if he could sense the way your pulse quickened.
"You clean up well," you said, tilting your head slightly. "Almost didn't recognize you without all the shadows."
He raised a brow, a hint of amusement flickering across his face. "You'll have to forgive me for not returning the compliment."
Your lips twitched. "And why's that?"
"Because if I did, we'd be here all night," he replied smoothly, the corner of his mouth lifting in a rare, fleeting smile.
You blinked, caught off guard by the unexpected flirtation. Azriel's humor was subtle, almost elusive, but when it surfaced, it always left you reeling.
Before you could find a response, you remembered the last detail. "Oh, wait." You turned back to the vanity, retrieving the small box you'd nearly forgotten. Inside were two rings—simple, elegant bands meant to complete your cover as a married couple.
You slipped one onto your finger, the cool metal fitting perfectly, the sapphire stone placed atop it glimmering in the sunsetting light. You hold out the other to him. "Rhys gave them to me, for authenticity," you said, keeping your tone light despite the awkwardness that had crept into the air.
Azriel's gaze dropped to the ring in your hand, his expression unreadable as he took it. For a moment, you thought he might protest, but instead, he slid it onto his finger with careful precision.
He slipped it onto his finger without breaking eye contact, the deliberate slowness of the action making your heart race. "There," he said, holding his hand up to examine the ring. "How do I look as your doting husband?"
You took a step back, pretending to assess him with a critical eye. "Hmm, you'll pass—just barely. Try smiling a little more. You're supposed to be madly in love with me, remember?"
Azriel leaned in slightly, his hazel eyes glinting with amusement. "If I smile too much, they'll think I've lost my mind."
You let out a laugh, shaking your head. "Fair enough."
He reached out then, his hand brushing yours as he straightened an imaginary crease in the sleeve of your gown. The touch was fleeting but enough to send warmth creeping up your neck. When he pulled back, the air between you was thick with unspoken tension.
"Ready?" he asked, his voice soft but steady.
You nodded, grabbing the silver clutch from the vanity and looping it over your wrist. "As I'll ever be."
Azriel extended his arm, a rare gesture that made your lips twitch in surprise. "Shall we, gorgeous?" he teased, his tone low and smooth.
You slid your hand through the crook of his arm, matching his smirk with one of your own. "Lead the way, handsome." Whatever this mission had in store, it was clear the most dangerous thing you'd face tonight wasn't Kaieel or his allies. It was Azriel—and the way he made you feel.
The ballroom glittered like a scene from a dream, opulent and indulgent in every detail. Chandeliers sparkled with a thousand lights overhead, their glow casting a soft radiance across the sea of masked figures swirling on the marble floor. The air buzzed with muted conversations, laughter, and the soft strains of a symphony playing in the background.
Your arm was looped through Azriel's, his warmth bleeding into you even through the layers of your gown and his tailored suit. He guided you into the crowd with an ease that belied his tension, his hazel eyes scanning every face, every shadow, every corner.
"Stay close," he murmured, the words just for you, his breath brushing against your temple. His voice, low and commanding, sent a shiver down your spine, though you quickly disguised it as a nod of agreement.
"Hard to get closer than this," you quipped softly, unable to resist. You felt him stiffen slightly under your hand, his wings—glamoured away but somehow still present in your mind—practically bristling with restrained energy.
He didn't respond, but the faintest curve of his lips betrayed him. If it weren't for the mask obscuring part of his face, you might have caught the glimmer of amusement in his eyes. Instead, his focus shifted, scanning the room until it landed on your target.
Kaieel stood near the far edge of the room, his tall frame commanding attention even in this crowd of nobles. His mask, dark and menacing, covered much of his face, but his icy blue eyes gleamed through the filigree, sharp and calculating. A small circle of sycophants surrounded him, laughing too loudly at his every word. He raised a crystal flute to his lips, sipping lazily as though the fate of Prythian wasn't potentially hanging on his next move.
"Eyes on Kaieel," Azriel murmured, tilting his head just enough for his words to reach you. "But keep it subtle. The last thing we want is him noticing our interest too early."
"Subtlety is my specialty," you whispered back, earning a flick of his gaze, though he said nothing. His grip on your hand tightened as he steered you toward the dance floor.
Before you could question him, Azriel pivoted smoothly, releasing your arm only to catch your hand and pull you into a waltz. The sudden movement startled you, your other hand landing instinctively on his shoulder as he spun you into the rhythm of the music.
"A dance?" you asked, arching a brow as you tried to ignore the way his hand settled on your waist, firm but not overbearing.
"Blending in," he replied simply, though the set of his jaw betrayed the faintest hint of awkwardness. "Everyone else is dancing. And from here, we have a better view of Kaieel."
You followed his lead, your feet moving in time with his despite the distraction of his proximity. The bond hummed faintly at the back of your mind, an awareness you fought to suppress as you focused on the task at hand. His scent—cedar and chilled mist—wrapped around you, grounding and maddening all at once.
"So," you ventured, your voice low, "do we just stare at him all night, or do we actually have a plan?"
Azriel's lips twitched, a ghost of a smile. "Patience. Kaieel will make his move eventually. Until then, we observe."
"Observation is all well and good," you said, your tone light despite the weight of the moment, "but what if he decides to slip away before we get what we need?"
"He won't," Azriel replied, his confidence a quiet anchor in the storm of your nerves. "He's too arrogant to think anyone here is a threat to him."
You were about to respond when Kaieel's laugh cut through the music, sharp and derisive. Your gaze flicked toward him in time to see him gesture grandly to his circle, drawing their attention—and yours. The words he spoke were lost in the distance, but the smug tilt of his head and the pointed glance he cast toward a cloaked figure in the corner sent a chill down your spine.
"Did you see that?" you murmured, tilting your head subtly toward Kaieel.
Azriel's grip on your waist tightened imperceptibly. "I saw. He's signaling someone."
Your next step faltered, and Azriel steadied you instantly, his hand at your back pressing you closer. "Careful," he murmured, his voice low enough to send a shiver through you. "If you trip, they'll notice."
"Noted," you said, your cheeks warming despite yourself. You tilted your head again, pretending to focus on him as you spoke. "The cloaked figure in the corner. Could be a contact."
"Could be," Azriel agreed, his hazel eyes flicking toward the figure in question. "But we won't know for sure until we get closer."
"And how do you propose we do that without drawing attention?" you asked, trying to ignore the way his hand seemed to linger on your back, his thumb brushing against the fabric of your gown in a way that felt almost deliberate.
Azriel's lips curved into a smirk, subtle but unmistakable. "Leave that to me."
Before you could question him further, the song ended, and he stepped back, bowing slightly as he offered you his arm again. You accepted it, allowing him to guide you off the dance floor and toward the far side of the room. Kaieel's attention was still focused on his circle, oblivious to your approach.
Azriel leaned in, his breath warm against your ear. "We'll circle the room, make small talk, and get close enough to overhear. Follow my lead."
"Always," you replied softly, the word slipping out before you could stop it. Azriel's gaze snapped to yours, something unreadable flickering in his eyes, but he said nothing as he led you deeper into the crowd.
The mission demanded your focus, but with Azriel at your side, his presence steady and unyielding, you couldn't help but wonder if the real danger tonight wasn't the secrets hidden in this ballroom—but the ones you carried in your heart.
You move through the ballroom like smoke, seamlessly blending with the opulent crowd. Strangers smile at you—glittering masks of civility over a sea of intentions. They don't need to know who you are; your presence, the confident tilt of your chin, and the luxury of your attire tell them enough. Wealth recognizes power, even in passing.
When you wave at a woman standing beside Kaieel, she returns the gesture, though her eyes narrow ever so slightly, a flicker of confusion betraying her effort to place you. Still, she beckons you closer with the smooth grace of someone accustomed to command.
"Lady Reven," Azriel murmurs in your ear, his voice as soft and deliberate as the shadows that cling to him. "Ex-wife of Kaieel. The hostess of tonight's spectacle."
"She invited her ex-husband?" you ask under your breath, your smile unwavering despite the furrow of your brows.
"He's funding it," Azriel replies, his golden eyes scanning the room. "This way, he and his associates can conspire without his name attached. If the plot unravels—"
"She takes the fall," you finish, your mind catching up to the threads he's weaving.
"Precisely," he says with a wry twist of his lips. Then, with a pointed glance at Lady Reven, he adds, "And she, my love, is your key to him."
Your heart stumbles at his phrasing. Your key? You open your mouth to protest, but he silences you with a slight tilt of his head. "I won't be far," he assures you, his voice a soft promise. And then, as if sensing your doubt, the cool, silken pressure of shadows winds beneath your dress, curling around your thigh like an unspoken vow. The sensation is enough to make your knees threaten to buckle.
"What do I even say to her?" you whisper, frowning.
Azriel chuckles, low and teasing. "Have you forgotten all your training already?" The confidence in his tone steadies you. "You'll do just fine. I'll fetch us drinks and join you shortly," he adds, leaning down to press a brief, warm kiss to your temple before vanishing into the crowd like mist.
You force a breath into your lungs and set your shoulders, willing confidence into your stride as you cross the ballroom. The shadows move with you, unseen but ever-present, their cool touch synchronizing with the rhythm of your steps.
As you approach a table laden with crystalline champagne flutes and decadent sweets, your ears tune in to the sharp edges of Lady Reven's voice, drifting from where she speaks to a maid.
"And make sure he leaves alone tonight," she hisses. "He's humiliated me enough in public without dragging some—other female into it."
The maid nods, scurrying off, and you let your gaze fall to the intricately carved edge of the table. The urge to fidget nearly overcomes you before Lady Reven's voice pulls you from the habit.
"I wouldn't bother with the chocolates," she says coolly, stepping closer.
You glance at her, feigning an easy smile. "Good to know." You nod. "I've never been one for sweets anyway, Lady Reven."
Her ruby-red lips curl upward in a knowing smirk. "Have we met?" she asks, her sharp eyes studying you with thinly veiled suspicion.
"Only on paper," you reply smoothly. "My husband works for Kaieel."
Recognition softens her features. "Ah, a friend of Kaieel is a friend of mine," she purrs. "Call me Valenia."
"Of course. Valenia," you echo with a nod, subtly testing the name.
"And where is your husband tonight?" she asks, gesturing vaguely to the glittering crowd.
You tilt your head with a small laugh. "Fetching me something stronger than this champagne," you quip, gesturing towards the burbling fountain of sparkling wine in the center. The honesty surprises her into a laugh of her own.
"Well, I'll have to apologize for the watered-down drinks," she says lightly, her tone dripping with feigned humility.
"No need. This is a stunning event," you counter, gesturing to the ballroom.
A flicker of satisfaction crosses her face. "I think we're alike, you and I," she muses, before looping her arm through yours. "Come. I'll introduce you to Kaieel."
Your pulse quickens as she steers you across the room. You catch Azriel's golden gaze from where he's threading through the crowd, his expression unreadable but his presence grounding.
"I really should wait for my husband," you try, a nervous laugh slipping out. "We've been recently married, couldn't keep him away if I tried." You attempt to excuse.
"Then it'll be easy for him to find us, hm?" Valenia dismisses with a wink, tugging you forward until you're standing before Kaieel himself.
Kaieel was sprawled on a chaise lounge, maids bringing him drinks, butlers feeding him by hand like he was some kind of king. Even Rhys wasn't this ostentatious. His turquoise eyes fell on you as Lady Raven guided you towards him, dragging his gaze across every inch of your figure. You did your best to ignore it, giving him a bashful smile.
"What have I done to deserve the company of two such radiant creatures?" Kaieel drawls, his grin wide and smug as he leans back in his seat.
"Kai," Valenia greets, her tone deceptively warm, intimacy still flowing between them. "This is—oh, dear, I fear I never got your name."
Before you can answer, an arm slides around your shoulders, pulling you into the familiar scent of cedar and night mist, the warmth of his hold makes your tense shoulders relax.
"Mrs. Lawmore," Azriel announces smoothly, answering for you as he gives Kaieel a grin, his smile disarming as he shields you beneath his presence.
"Lawmore?" Kaieel's eyes narrow with interest. "Lysan Lawmore, is that you under that mask?"
Azriel bows his head slightly, keeping his eyes down in fear of being caught. "It's been some time, apology for my absence but my beautiful wife here needed to be spoiled after our wedding night." You didn't want to know what happened to the real Lysan, neither did you want to know what Azriel did to him to get this information out of him.
"And how exactly did you win over such a lovely companion?" Kaieel continues, taking your hand with practiced charm, his lips brushing lightly over the sapphire on your ring finger.
You smile, tilting your head bashfully. "I believe I was the one winning him over," you say, cutting in before Azriel can.
Azriel's fingers trail from your shoulder down your arm, taking your hand from Kaieel's grasp and threading his fingers with yours. His touch is possessive but gentle, a silent claim.
"How sweet," Kaieel remarks, raising his glass in mock toast. "Remember when we were like that, darling?"
Valenia's eyes flash, her smirk tightening as she looks away. "They're newlyweds, Kai. Still in the honeymoon phase."
"Newlyweds, you say? Well, then," Kaieel says with a devilish grin. "We must celebrate. Let's toast!" He stood, raising his glass. He didn't have to so much as say a word for the entire ballroom to halt and turn to him.
"So kind of all of you to join us on this fine evening, not only are we celebrating this beautiful gathering the lovely Valenia put together," He pauses for a moment to gesture towards the woman who gave a practiced smile and an elegant wave of her hand. "But we are also celebrating the recently pronounced Mr. And Mrs. Lawmore!" He raises his glass, and even if none of these people so much as knew your name, they cheered anyway. Like puppets on a string, controlled by Kaieel himself.
"Go on," Kaieel presses, leaning forward with a wicked glint in his eye. "Kiss the bride."
The demand sends a shiver down your spine. Even the shadows twining around your legs seem to still, waiting.
Azriel was already staring at you, his eyes searching yours. His lips quirk into a soft, almost shy smile, and the question in his gaze is unmistakable.
You nod, barely perceptibly.
"Come here, love," he murmurs, his voice coaxing, tender.
Your lips met, fitting together with startling, unspoken precision—like the final piece of a puzzle you never realized was incomplete until it clicked into place. The kiss lasted only a heartbeat, but in that fleeting moment, everything shifted. The air between the two of you thickened, buzzing with a quiet intensity, as if the universe itself had paused to watch.
Something deep inside you stirred, a part of yourself you'd long buried or perhaps never even known. It unfurled like a blossom in the first light of dawn, warm and aching, a golden thread spinning itself between you. It twined tighter with every second, binding not just your bodies but something deeper, something elemental.
For that brief, infinite instant, there was no ballroom, no crowd, no mission. Just the two of you—two souls suspended in the gravity of a pull you couldn't name but could feel down to your very bones.
And then, like the breathless silence before a storm, realization hit you with shattering clarity. This wasn't just a kiss. It was him. Azriel.
Your mate.
The kiss ended as gently as it began, your eyes wide and searching but he remained calm and steady, you whisper, "You've known?"
Azriel's gaze flickers to your lips, then back to your eyes, as if he was going to kiss you again, and again, and again until the gods themselves had to rip him from you. But before he can answer, the room erupts into applause, Kaieel's voice booming with praise.
Even as the crowd cheers and music resumes, you hear nothing but the pounding of your heart, feel nothing but the truth that thrums in your blood.
Mate.
And he knew.
You don't have time to process the truth searing through your veins. Mate. The word echoes in your mind like a thunderclap, threatening to drown out everything else. But Azriel's hand tightens around yours, steady and grounding. His golden eyes flicker with something unreadable—a mix of reassurance and warning—and you understand: you can't falter. Not here. Not now.
Kaieel's voice cuts through the applause, smug and commanding. "Come now, don't let the celebration stop the night's festivities. Dance, drink, enjoy yourselves!" His hand sweeps over the crowd, his charisma intoxicating, pulling their attention away from you. For now.
"You're too kind, Kaieel," Azriel says. "Now if you don't mind, I'd like to spend some time with my wife."
Azriel tugs gently on your hand, guiding you away from the center of the ballroom. You follow, trying to shake the weight of the bond snapping into place. But even as he leads you, the golden thread between you hums with a new, undeniable awareness, the shadows brushing against you like a silent promise.
He doesn't speak until you've reached the edge of the room, tucked into the shadowy recess of a grand marble column. His lips are close to your ear, his voice low and smooth. "Are you with me?"
You nod, the words caught in your throat.
"Good," he murmurs. "We need to move fast. Valenia is the key to his plans. Now that you become acquainted we can use her."
You blink, willing yourself to focus. "How?"
"She's vulnerable," Azriel says, his tone edged with calculation. "Kaieel still holds power over her, and it's clear she despises him for it. We can exploit that. Learn who his allies are, how he's funding this rebellion. If we play her right, she'll give us everything."
You glance toward the center of the room, where Valenia stands at Kaieel's side, her posture poised but her eyes cold as she watches him bask in the attention of the crowd. Her mask of indifference is expertly crafted, but you can see the tension in her jaw, the way her fingers tighten around her champagne flute.
"She definitely hates him," you say quietly. "But will she betray him?"
Azriel's shadows curl against your skin, cold and steady. "She already has. Hosting this event on his behalf, exposing him to scrutiny. She's more desperate than she lets on." He tilts his head toward you, his voice softer now. "We just need to give her the final push."
You swallow hard, nodding. "And if she doesn't break?"
Azriel's smile doesn't reach his eyes. "Then we'll find another way. We always do."
Before you can reply, a servant approaches with a silver tray bearing two glasses of dark red wine. Azriel accepts both, handing one to you with an easy smile that belies the sharpness of his focus.
"Drink," he murmurs. "And dance with me. They're watching."
"Again?" You ask, your heart stuttering, but you take the glass, letting him guide you back toward the dance floor.
"This is a ball, love." The music swells as he pulls you into his arms, his movements are fluid and natural as though you've danced together a hundred times. "You didn't think I'd be satiated with one dance, did you?"
The bond thrums again, golden and electric, and you can't ignore it any longer. "You knew, Az," you whisper, your voice barely audible over the violins.
Azriel's gaze flicks to yours, soft but unyielding. "Not here," he murmurs.
"But—"
"Later," he insists, his tone leaving no room for argument. His hand tightens slightly on your waist, grounding you. "Focus."
This is why he didn't want you coming, you realize. You force yourself to breathe, to move with him, to match the rhythm of the music. Around you, the crowd swirls, their laughter and chatter a muted backdrop. Kaieel and Valenia are watching from the edge of the room, their expressions unreadable.
"Valenia's looking for an ally," Azriel murmurs as he twirls you gracefully. "She doesn't trust him to win against Rhys. We offer her a way out, and she'll talk."
"How do we approach her without raising suspicion?"
Azriel's lips curve into a faint smirk. "Snead your way into her inner circle. Let her think it was her idea. I'll shadow you, gather what I can from Kaieel's other guests."
"And if something goes wrong?"
His hand slides up to your shoulder, his thumb brushing against your collarbone—a fleeting, deliberate touch. "It won't."
The music slows, and he pulls you closer, his voice dropping to a whisper. "And even if it did, I'd slaughter everyone in this room to get you out."
You shiver, both from fear and something you didn't have time to familiarize yourself with.
The song ends, and Azriel steps back, his mask of calm once again firmly in place. He presses a light kiss to your hand, his lips brushing your knuckles as his golden eyes lock onto yours.
"I'll be watching," he murmurs. Then he's gone, slipping into the crowd as if he were never there.
You take a steadying breath, turning your gaze toward Valenia. She's speaking with a pair of aristocrats now, her laughter light and airy, but her eyes remain calculating. You approach slowly, your steps measured and deliberate.
"Lady Valenia," you say with a soft smile as you reach her side. "I must thank you again for this incredible event."
She turns to you, her lips curling into a practiced smile. "Ah, Mrs. Lawmore. Enjoying yourself, I hope?"
"Very much," you reply smoothly. "Though I must admit, I'd hoped for a chance to speak with you more privately. Your reputation precedes you."
Her brows lift slightly, intrigue flickering in her eyes. "Does it now? And what exactly have you heard?"
You lean in slightly, lowering your voice just enough to draw her closer. "That you're the true power behind Kaieel's successes. A woman of vision and cunning."
She laughs softly, but there's a sharpness to it. "And what would you want with a woman like that, my dear?"
You smile, your gaze steady. "To learn from you, of course. I imagine there's much you could teach me."
Her eyes narrow slightly, studying you. Then, with a sly smile, she links her arm with yours. "Come, let's talk. Away from prying eyes."
As she leads you toward a quieter corner of the ballroom, you catch a glimpse of Azriel in the crowd. He's watching, his expression unreadable but his presence a constant reassurance.
The game has begun.
———
The ball had stretched into the long hours of the night. Most guests had already taken their leave, yet a few lingered—drunkards, their fingers greedily grasping for what remained of the free wine. You had spent the evening carefully cultivating a list of names, all while trying not to let the thought of your mate—a word that still felt foreign in your mind—distract you.
Valenia, meanwhile, had rattled on endlessly, weaving a tapestry of grand schemes to dismantle Kaieel's empire and seize it for herself. Such a fool. The way she outlined every step was invaluable, her unwitting admissions offering a clear view of both her vulnerabilities and Kaieel's. For someone who fancied herself clever, she didn't understand the dangers of oversharing. Perhaps conspiring alone for so long had driven her to some invisible line of insanity, one she'd now crossed with aplomb.
She was smarter than Kaieel, no doubt, but she wasn't as sharp as she thought herself to be. The rich rarely were. They plotted in circles, their plans frayed with assumptions that gold could patch any hole. A society built on corruption and greed was a society destined to crumble.
A knock on the door shattered the air between you, halting Valenia mid-sentence. Both of you froze as the door creaked open, revealing familiar black hair and molten golden eyes.
"Lysan," you said smoothly, forcing an easy smile.
Valenia hiccuped, swaying slightly as she glanced between you. The liquor had loosened her tongue and dulled her senses—a poor, unsuspecting thing. You'd kept her glass full all night, though yours had remained barely touched.
"You two are lucky," she murmured, her words slurred but still carrying a bite of jealousy.
Azriel tilted his head, stepping closer with his hand outstretched. You met him halfway, your fingers intertwining as if it were second nature.
"So in love," Valenia sighed wistfully. She swirled the deep red liquid in her glass. "Kaieel never looked at me the way he looks at you."
Azriel didn't miss a beat. "I am lucky, aren't I?" His voice was low as he leaned in, pressing a kiss just beneath your ear. The touch sent a tremor down your spine, though you leaned into him all the same, your composure unwavering.
"You two lovebirds get out of here," Valenia hummed, waving you off with a glass in hand. "I'll see you soon, Mrs. Lawmore."
You smiled at the title she so easily handed over, bowing your head alongside Azriel as you both slipped out of the room. Moments later, you left the ballroom entirely, leaving behind the clinking of glasses and murmurs of deceit.
———
Once you winnowed into The Cabin, the air was thick with unresolved tension, a thread drawn too tight and ready to snap. You released Azriel's arm but remained close, your breath steady, your gaze piercing.
He shifted, glancing at you with that careful, measured expression of his, but you saw through it. His wings flared slightly before tucking back, as if the space were already too confined for what lay between you.
"We need to debrief with Rhys—" he began, but the words barely escaped before you cut him off, your voice sharp.
"No." You held up a hand, stepping back. "We're not ignoring this."
Azriel sighed heavily, dragging a hand through his dark hair. He reached up, removing the mask with a deliberate slowness that felt like deflection. "Can I at least get comfortable first?"
"Seriously?" you snapped, your arms crossing over your chest.
But he ignored your tone, unbuttoning his shirt with maddening ease. The fabric slipped from his shoulders, revealing smooth, tan skin and the faint lines of tattoos curling down his forearms. Then came his wings—massive, stretching wide as the glamour faded, their dark beauty filling the room like a storm rolling in.
You swallowed thickly, forcing yourself to look away as he folded them neatly behind him.
“Go on," he said, leaning back against the couch, his tattooed arms crossing over his chest, the sight terribly distracting. "I'm listening."
You glared at him, your voice tight. "You knew," you state.
He nodded slightly, but he said nothing, his golden eyes fixed on you with unnerving calm.
"Why didn't you tell me?" you demanded, your voice cracking despite your best efforts. "The bond—it's not something you just don't mention. Did you think I couldn't handle it?"
He exhaled slowly, his gaze steady. "It wasn't like that."
"Then what was it?" you shot back, your frustration spilling over. "You knew this whole time. Azriel, do you have any idea what it feels like to find out this way? To realize you've been keeping something this—this huge from me?"
His jaw tightened, but his expression softened just enough to betray a flicker of vulnerability. "I didn't tell you because I didn't want to force it on you."
You barked out a bitter laugh. "Force it on me? What does that even mean? Did you think I'd reject it?"
Azriel stiffened, his wings flexing behind him as if to shield himself. "It's not that simple."
"Then make it simple," you snapped. "Because right now, it feels like you didn't tell me because you were planning to reject the bond. That you didn't want me—"
His voice cut through yours, low and rough like gravel. "Don't."
The single word silenced you, but only for a moment.
"Then tell me the truth, Azriel," you demanded, your tone breaking under the weight of the words. "Tell me why you didn't say anything. Was it because you didn't want me, or because you thought I didn't want you?"
That hit its mark. His jaw clenched, and he looked away, his wings shifting behind him as though he could fly away from the conversation. But he didn't. Instead, he took a step closer, the heat of his body suffocating.
"Love, please," he said, his voice tight with something raw and unspoken. "Do you know what it's like to see your mate and think, this is it—this is everything I've ever wanted—and to know they don't feel the same? To be terrified that if you tell them, they'll look at you like you're nothing?"
Your breath caught, the weight of his words crashing into you.
"Az."
"I didn't tell you," he continued, his voice quieter now, "because I didn't want to lose you before I even had you. I thought if I told you, it would scare you off. You'd think it was some obligation instead of a choice. And I couldn't risk that. I couldn't risk, us."
You blinked, the truth settling over you like a heavy blanket. He hadn't been withholding it because he didn't want you—he'd been scared. Scared of rejection. Scared of you walking away.
"Do you have any idea how hard it's been?" he asked, his voice breaking slightly. "To see you every day, to stand beside you, and know I couldn't tell you? That I had to act like you were just someone I trained?"
Your heart twisted at the vulnerability in his words, but the anger lingered, sharp and cutting.
"You still should've told me," you said, your voice soft but firm. "You should've given me the choice. You didn't get to decide that for me."
"I know." He looked at you then, and the regret in his eyes made your chest ache. "I know I should've told you. And I'll regret that for the rest of my life. But don't think, not even for a second, that I didn't want you."
Silence stretched between you, thick with unspoken words. He took a step closer, his golden eyes searching yours.
"You can hate me for not telling you," he said, his voice low and rough. "You can hate me for being a coward. But don't ever think I didn't want this. Don't think I didn't want you. Please."
You stood there, his words reverberating in your chest, threatening to undo the last thread of your composure. His golden eyes never left yours, the air between you charged with too much to name. You swallowed hard, trying to keep your breathing even as emotions warred within you.
Finally, you broke the silence. "You should've told me," you said softly, the edge in your voice dulling. "Because for all your talk of not forcing it, you didn't even consider that I might have wanted it too."
His eyes widened slightly, and you took a half-step closer, the tension between you pulling tight.
"I've felt, something," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper now. "For a while. I just figured it was a stupid crush, that I was imagining the lingering glances and the all too long touches." You inhaled deeply, forcing yourself to meet his gaze. "But now I know."
His breath hitched, and for the first time, Azriel looked truly shaken. Vulnerable. Like he didn't know what to do with your words.
So you took the choice away and kissed him.
It was tentative at first, your lips brushing his with a softness that belied the storm building inside you. He froze for a heartbeat, and you thought maybe you'd miscalculated—but then his hands were on your waist, pulling you closer.
When you pulled back, your lips tingling, you raised a brow at the stunned expression on his face. "Kiss me like that again and I might just have to accept the bond," you teased, your tone light but laced with meaning.
"Oh, I'll do more than that." He replied with an easy smirk on his face and before you could muster a flustered reply he connected your lips again, harder this time, more desperate. His hands slid up your back, his wings stretching slightly as though the emotions were too much for him to contain. You gasped into him, his shadows curling around your legs as his lips claimed you fully, unapologetically.
The kiss stretched, time losing meaning as you melted into him. His tongue brushed against yours, his grip on you firm yet reverent, as if he couldn't decide whether to pull you closer or keep himself in check.
He kisses you like it's the only thing keeping him tethered to the world like you're the air he needs to breathe. His lips press against yours with fervent urgency, soft yet commanding, leaving no space for hesitation.
The warmth of his mouth sends a shiver racing down your spine, your senses overwhelmed by the feel of him—silken and deliberate, coaxing, drawing you in until everything else fades. His hands tighten at your waist, his fingers digging into your dress that rivaled the intensity of his kiss.
The world tilts, time seems to stall, and all you can feel is him—the taste of him, the way his body leans into yours as though he can't bear to be apart. Every brush of his lips, every slight tilt of his head, feels like an unspoken confession as if through this kiss alone, he's telling you everything he can't put into words.
When you finally pulled back, both of you were breathless. His lips were slightly swollen, his golden eyes darkened with something almost primal.
"What does this mean?" he asked, his voice rough with emotion.
You tilted your head, a mischievous smile playing on your lips. "It means," you said, brushing a finger against his chest, "you're going to sit right there." You push him slightly, and he falls back onto the couch as if you struck him with an unrecoverable blow.
He blinked, clearly thrown off by the abrupt shift in your tone. "What?"
"Sit right there," you repeated, gesturing toward the couch. Then, turning on your heel, you made your way toward the kitchen without a backward glance.
He stared after you, confused as to where you were going during a moment like this.
The sound of pans clinking and spices mingling in the air brought him back to reality, though he still couldn't fully grasp what was happening. He'd faced centuries of war, unflinching in the face of death, yet now he sat there—utterly flustered.
An agonizing twenty minutes later, you returned with a tray, setting it down on the small table in front of him. The aroma was rich and comforting, a simple yet meaningful meal that made his chest tighten.
You placed the tray in front of him, your expression softer now, though the playful glint in your eye hadn't dimmed. "Eat, Azriel," you said, settling beside him. "You've earned it after all these years."
He stared at the plate for a moment, his throat bobbing as he swallowed. Then he looked at you, his voice unsteady. "This... this is real, isn't it?"
You smiled, leaning down, pressing a kiss onto the corner of his lips just because you couch. "What do you think?"
Azriel didn't answer, but the faintest smile tugged at his lips as he picked up the fork. You watched as he took the first bite, the tension in his shoulders easing just slightly.
The bond hummed between you, a quiet, unspoken promise. And as Azriel sat there, eating the food you'd prepared with shadows still swirling around your feet, you realized that this—this quiet moment—was the most eventful part of the night.
And for once, Azriel looked at ease. Flustered, yes. But undeniably yours. And soon, the frenzy would set in, and he'd show you exactly how much of him was yours, body and soul, mates.
Continued drabble here!
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alsofoundinpeas · 7 months ago
Text
No One's Ever Had Me (Not Like You)
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Summary: After JJ's insensitive remarks toward Spencer become too much to ignore, Y/N steps in to comfort him, igniting a friendship that rapidly grows into something more. Though Y/N falls for him first, Spencer soon finds himself falling even harder, realizing no one has ever cared for him the way she does—and he's ready to return it in full.
CONTENT WARNINGS: 18+ MDNI!! This fic is intended for adult audiences. Oral/Facesitting (f!receiving), dirty talk, praise kink (if you squint), masturbating (m!only), fingering (f!receiving), unprotected sex/PinV sex (wrap it before you tap it lovelies pls), c** swallowing (I don't know how else to put that HAHAHA), slight overstim (for both parties), slightly ooc!JJ (for the plot), one brief argument scene between the reader and JJ. Fluff and smut. Coworkers to friends to lovers.
Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!BAU!reader/afab!reader
A/N: I love a little "she fell first, he fell harder" trope, so I'm hoping you guys enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it. :) I am once again pleading my case that I am NOT a JJ hater!! I just saw a clip of this scene from season 3 and was inspired because I too have been in Spencer's shoes and honestly it hurts, so I wanted to change up the outcome a little bit. The title comes from Taylor Swift's "So High School" but the fic isn't necessarily based around the song if that makes sense. As always, please tell me what you think! If you enjoy it, please like, reblog, and share it with your friends. <3 Thank you and I love you all!! :)
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Y/N had never been particularly fond of JJ. They worked well together, of course—professionalism came first—but there was something about JJ that rubbed her the wrong way. It felt so high school to say, but Y/N had always seen her as a bit of a "mean girl."
Y/N had joined the BAU a year after Spencer, and she’d witnessed firsthand the awkwardness when Spencer, shy and eager, had asked JJ to go to a football game with him as a date after Gideon had given him tickets. A sweet, innocent gesture, only for JJ to show up with Penelope in tow, turning the evening into a humiliating disaster for Spencer. That was just one of the many moments Y/N had found herself bristling at JJ's treatment of him. Despite JJ’s consistent indifference and occasional cruelty, Spencer’s feelings for her had never wavered. 
Until today.
Spencer sat across from JJ on the jet, eager to share his excitement about the book he was reading and its similarities with Pinocchio, his voice bubbling with enthusiasm as he rambled on. He barely noticed the lack of interest in JJ's eyes, her eyebrows raised in a near-sarcastic expression as she muttered a disinterested "Wow" in the middle of his sentence. She tossed the case file onto the table without a second glance and stood. "Interesting. Coffee?" she asked, her voice dripping with faux sweetness, her smile a brittle, saccharine mask. 
Spencer froze, his words dying in his throat as she swiftly walked away. He felt a sinking sensation in his chest—an awkward mix of humiliation and disappointment. Was he that annoying? His hands trembled slightly as he glanced down at the book in his lap, the pages now feeling heavier than they had moments ago. He cleared his throat, but the discomfort lingered, thick in the air.
Y/N had been watching the whole exchange from her spot on the couch, her eyes narrowing as she watched JJ throw her head back in a loud laugh at something Morgan had said about “escaping the robot” from across the jet. That was the breaking point. Y/N's stomach twisted with frustration. She was tired—so tired—of watching JJ repeatedly gut the sweet boy simply because he had a hopeless crush on her, one that JJ clearly saw as beneath her.  
Swinging her legs from where they were tucked underneath her, Y/N stood and made her way to the seat JJ had previously been occupying, sliding into it abruptly.
Spencer’s head jerked up as she quickly filled the seat, blinking hard as confusion washed over his features. “Oh! Uh, hey Y/N… was there something you needed?” he asked softly, his gaze dropping back to the table, hoping she wouldn’t notice the wounded look in his eyes.
“I was listening to your conversation earlier and wanted to ask if you would continue. Please.”
Spencer’s mouth parted in surprise, unsure if he’d heard her correctly. She… wanted to listen to him? He swallowed, his brows furrowing slightly as he hesitated before speaking. “You... you don’t have to do that just to make me feel better, you know.”
Y/N shook her head firmly, her hands coming together on the table as she leaned in slightly, her eyes never leaving his. “Spencer,” she said softly, her voice steady. “I’m not asking you to continue because I feel sorry for you. I’m asking because I actually want to hear what you have to say.” Her tone was gentle yet sincere, and there was no mistaking the genuine interest in her words.
Spencer’s heart raced as he stared at her, his mind struggling to catch up with the moment before he finally opened his mouth, stumbling over the words to continue his excited rant from earlier. Spencer felt something shift inside him with every hum of acknowledgment, nod, and occasional question or light joke. It hit him all at once—this was how she always spoke to him: fully engaged, genuinely curious. She didn’t see him as the genius or the outcast. She saw him as... just Spencer. A person. Not a curiosity. Not a burden. Just him.
And for the rest of the flight, Y/N encouraged Spencer to spill every single thought that came to mind, entranced by the sweet boy in front of her for the entire time.
It was late when they finally landed, the team worn out and eager to get home. With quick goodbyes and Hotch’s promise of a day off tomorrow, the group trickled out of the office, one by one. When Spencer was left alone in the bullpen, he let out a deep sigh, running a hand through his hair as he sat at his desk under the guise of needing to look for something before leaving. His thoughts kept drifting back to the interaction with Y/N on the jet. He couldn’t shake it. And for the life of him, he couldn’t understand why.
It wasn’t like they weren’t already friends—talking to her was nothing out of the ordinary. But something about their interaction today felt different. Maybe it was how quickly she’d stepped in when she saw he was hurt? Then again, the more Spencer thought about it, the more he realized that wasn’t all that unusual either. He’d often felt out of place—whether it was the team’s teasing that sometimes went too far, JJ’s backhanded compliments that left him more bewildered than flattered, or the officers who looked past him because of his age or appearance.
And every time, without fail, Y/N had been there. She was always the one picking up the pieces of his bruised confidence, offering him quiet support with nothing more than a kind word or a warm smile, never asking for anything in return.
“Spencer?” 
Spencer jumped, the unexpected voice pulling him out of his thoughts. He spun around in his seat, heart racing, to find Y/N standing there, her hands raised in a placating gesture. He’d thought she’d already left with the rest of the team, but apparently, he’d been wrong.  
“Whoa, take it easy—it's just me. Are you okay?” Y/N approached slowly, her expression softening with concern as Spencer took slow, deep breaths, trying to steady his racing heart.
“Uh, yeah! I-I’m fine,” Spencer stammered, wincing as his voice cracked. “I just… I thought everyone had already left.”
“Oh, sorry,” she said with a chuckle, flashing a sheepish grin. “I told Hotch I’d drop everything off in evidence before heading out, but I kind of took my time.” She shrugged, then glanced at him. “What about you? Why are you still here?”
Spencer hesitated, his brow furrowing as he thought about her question. What was he still doing here, other than overthinking a simple conversation on the jet? He cleared his throat and stood up from his desk. “I thought I left a certain book here, but... it turns out it’s actually at home.” The weak excuse was followed by a nervous laugh as Spencer fidgeted with his fingers, silently hoping she wouldn’t question him further. 
It seemed luck was on his side, as she nodded slowly—her disbelief clear, but deciding not to press. Instead, she offered a soft smile and tilted her head toward the elevator. “Well, if you're heading out now, would you like to walk with me to my car?” Y/N asked, her voice laced with a hint of hope. “I can give you a ride so you don’t have to take the metro so late.”
Spencer was momentarily surprised by the offer, but before he could overanalyze it, he found himself nodding. She’d offered him rides before, and he’d always turned her down, worried he’d be inconveniencing her or that she was just being polite. But tonight, after the grueling case, he felt too drained to talk himself out of it. Honestly, he wasn’t opposed to spending a little more time with her—just the two of them.
“Um… that would be really nice, actually. Thank you.” 
Y/N waved it off with a playful grin. “It’s really no big deal, Spencer. I honestly wish you'd take me up on it more often. I worry about you on those late trains, and I live just five minutes from you. It’d be nice to have some company on the way home.” 
They continued their light conversation the entire way to the parking garage, pausing only when they got to her car. Y/N fumbled with her keys, unlocking the doors quickly before they slid inside.
The first thing Spencer noticed was the sweet fragrance of her perfume, filling the small space around them. He hadn’t really noticed it before, but now he found himself trying hard not to breathe in too deeply, captivated by the scent and wanting more of it. The smell of her shampoo blended with the fragrance, intensifying as she turned her head to back out of her parking spot. Spencer hadn’t even realized the car had started until that moment.
The next thing he noticed was the sticker on her dash reading Amor Fati. A faint smile curled at his lips as he shifted his gaze to her. He watched her silently for a moment as she focused on the road.
“Lover of fate, huh?”
“Hm?” Y/N frowned in confusion, shooting him a quick sideways glance as she stopped at a red light. It took a moment before she realized what he was referring to. “Oh, yeah. What about it, doc?” She chuckled, her voice light and teasing.
Spencer hummed, a sly grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Oh, nothing… But, did you know that Friedrich Nietzsche built most of his philosophy around that phrase?”
They plunged into a lively conversation, exchanging thoughts on various philosophers and their personal interpretations of the phrase. Spencer was captivated. The only other person who had ever indulged him in such “nerdy” discussions was Penelope (mostly about Doctor Who, of course). It was oddly refreshing, but at the same time, it only added fuel to the fire of his overthinking.
What was it that kept him so hopelessly fixated on JJ? She could be a good friend at times—he wouldn’t deny that—but there were moments when he felt like nothing more than a charity case. Like that kid who clings to someone at school, oblivious to the fact that they don’t actually want to talk to them. She was beautiful, of course—anyone could see that. But they didn’t share much in common, and their hobbies barely aligned. So why did he always end up seeking her out, when there were so many other people he could spend time with?
After the incident on the jet, Spencer had made a decision. He was done pouring so much energy into the blonde liaison and instead would focus on building a genuine friendship with Y/N. Not just the casual co-worker relationship they had, but something real. Maybe that’s why her sudden attention on the jet had caught him off guard. Maybe it wasn’t a crush forming, but rather a deep-rooted loneliness, a subconscious desire for a true friend. That had to be it.
The drive to his apartment seemed to fly by, and as Spencer stepped out of the car, he was surprised by the sense of reluctance that settled over him. He murmured his thanks and goodnight to Y/N, offering a shy smile, his thoughts lingering on the brief but unexpected moment of connection.
"Hey, Spencer?" Y/N called just as he was about to close the door. He paused, and she went on, her tone genuine. "I meant what I said. If you ever want to skip the metro and ride with me instead, I’d love the company. Honestly, I enjoyed our drive so much more than the usual Top 40 hits on the radio."
Spencer’s smile grew, a hesitant nod accompanying the soft bite of his lower lip. This was the opportunity to build something real with her, and for once, he decided not to second-guess it. “I’d really like that, actually.”
Y/N’s heart skipped a beat, a blend of relief and excitement bubbling up inside her. A smile spread across her face as she let out a soft breath. "Great. I’m looking forward to it," she said, her voice warm. "Goodnight, Spencer. Enjoy your day off tomorrow."
The first week of Spencer’s newfound behavior had Y/N feeling… disoriented, for lack of a better term. It wasn’t a bad feeling, not at all. She was genuinely thrilled by the extra attention, but she couldn’t quite figure out what had caused the sudden shift in their dynamic.
Spencer had begun riding home with her after work, both of them quickly growing fond of the newfound companionship. Throughout the day, he found himself gravitating toward her desk more often, offering to help with paperwork or providing a second opinion when she second guessed something. As they spent more time together, their conversations became easier—what had started as awkward exchanges soon evolved into Spencer initiating talks, no longer waiting for her to take the lead.
The irritated huff that escaped JJ’s lips as she stormed past everyone and into her office after Spencer politely declined her offer to sit with her and sort through case files, made it clear—Y/N wasn’t the only one noticing the change.
The next notable shift came when the BAU was called to California for a case. As everyone filed onto the jet and took their usual seats, there was one exception: Spencer Reid. When Y/N settled onto the couch, she was greeted by a soft, uncertain voice.
“Can I join you?” Spencer asked, his fingers nervously tugging at the end of his cardigan sleeves as he blinked at her with those sweet, vulnerable brown eyes.
The entire team glanced up in surprise, caught off guard by Spencer's decision not to take his usual spot across from JJ. Y/N, both puzzled and pleased, quickly moved to make space, patting the seat beside her with an encouraging smile.
"Of course, Spence. Go right ahead."
Spencer let out a quiet sigh, his shoulders drooping in relief as he settled into the seat next to Y/N, the tension he hadn’t realized he was carrying easing from his body. Ignoring the gawking from the others, he leaned in slightly, feeling more at ease in her presence. As Y/N opened the case file, he glanced at her with a small smile, ready to dive into the work with her by his side.
Morgan chuckled from across the jet, looking at JJ with raised brows as she scoffed to herself. "What'd you do to piss off the kid?"
“I didn’t do anything! And when did she start calling him ‘Spence’?” JJ grumbled, her arms crossed defensively as she narrowed her eyes at the two of them.
“Whoa,” Morgan muttered, his smile dropping into a frown. “Didn’t realize I was hitting a sore spot. What’s it matter what she calls him, anyway?”
JJ stiffened, her words catching in her throat as she struggled to respond. Morgan was right—she wasn’t the only one who could give Spencer a nickname. But that was her name for him, and it stung a little more now, given the distance that had been growing between them.
"It’s nothing," JJ replied quickly, forcing a casual shrug. "I was just surprised, that’s all." But even as she spoke, she couldn’t shake the unease lingering in her chest, unsure why it bothered her so much.
The remainder of the flight was spent with the team discussing the case, Hotch assigning tasks for when they touched down. Once they had gone over everything they could, the conversation tapered off, and silence settled over the cabin. Each team member retreated into their own thoughts, but Y/N and Spencer remained deep in discussion, quietly exchanging ideas about the unsub.
As they leaned in to continue their conversation, they unknowingly inched closer, drawn together by the ease of their shared focus. And when Spencer felt Y/N's knee brush against his, he kept his leg still, savoring the contact in silence—his secret to keep.
It took Spencer just over two months to finally gather the courage to ask Y/N to hang out outside of work or their shared car rides—something he had started contributing to so he could get more comfortable with driving. She’d quickly climbed the ranks of people he favored and felt comfortable with, but the fear of rejection still held him back. He didn’t want to jeopardize the connection they’d built, especially when it felt so important to him.
Spencer’s fear dissolved when he asked Y/N to come over and watch a film he’d picked up at an antique shop. Her excited smile and enthusiastic "Duh, I'd love to!" made him realize that she’d likely been waiting for him to take the first step all along.
He was grateful for how Y/N allowed him to move at his own pace, understanding that his accelerated path through high school and college had made it difficult for him to form connections. She never rushed him, giving him the space to open up when he was ready and letting their relationship develop naturally.
Y/N arrived at Spencer’s apartment, her arms loaded with snacks and dressed in cozy clothes, her excitement palpable. She enjoyed their car rides, of course, but an hour together hardly seemed enough compared to the time she truly longed to spend with him.
Y/N had been captivated by Spencer for years, but the more time they spent together, the harder her heart beat for him—every smile, every laugh, every conversation only added to her growing feelings. She told herself she was content with just being friends, that having him in her life, even in the smallest way, was enough. But deep down, she knew the truth—her heart yearned for something more, something that seemed just out of reach.
"Y/N! Hi, welcome in!"
The door swung open to reveal Spencer, his grin wide with excitement as he motioned for her to step inside. The sight of him—beaming with an almost childlike enthusiasm—made her smile in return. His apartment matched her expectations in the best way possible: shelves overflowing with books and quirky knick-knacks, soft, ambient light spilling from lamps that cast a cozy glow across the room, and a desk strewn with an organized mess of case files and open journals. It was a perfect reflection of Spencer—intellectually chaotic, but with an undeniable charm and warmth.
Spencer's heart skipped a beat as she entered the living room, and for a moment, he lost track of everything around him. He had always seen her dressed up for work—polished, professional, a perfect image of control. But now, in her casual clothes, with her hair down and no hint of the usual makeup, she looked entirely different.
She was still stunning, but it was a softer kind of beauty, one that crept up on him and left him breathless before he even realized it. It was subtle, almost unnoticeable at first glance, but once he took her in, he couldn’t seem to pull his focus away. Spencer had always thought he knew Y/N, but this version of her… this version felt like a secret he wasn’t ready to discover yet.
"Where would you like these?" Y/N asked, lifting her arms up with the snacks.
The sound of her voice broke Spencer from his daze, and he quickly moved to help, grabbing a few items to set them down on the coffee table. "Oh, uh, you didn’t have to bring snacks," he stammered, his hands fumbling with the food as he awkwardly rearranged it. "I was just going to order takeout or something. You’re the guest," he added, his words tumbling out in a nervous rush. His mind was racing, still caught in the subtle sweetness of her perfume that lingered in the air as he leaned in to grab the bags, making it hard to focus.
Y/N shrugged, a small grin playing on her lips as she set the snacks down. "I didn’t have to, but I wanted to. And if you’re still craving takeout later, I won't stop you from ordering it. Sound good?"
He nodded, his nose twitching as he grinned, feeling his tension ease. It was just Y/N, he reminded himself. There was no reason to feel this flustered.
An hour later, with the movie playing and a bag of gummy bears between them, Spencer quickly realized he'd been wrong. He had plenty of reasons to feel flustered.
The film, which had subtitles, was riddled with translation errors. Each time a jumbled sentence appeared, Y/N would lean in close, her breath warm against his ear causing shivers up and down his spine as she whispered, "What does that one mean?" Her thigh brushed against his, neither of them making any effort to break the contact. Spencer felt an almost electric warmth spread through him from the slight touch, his body aching for more. Was he really that starved for affection?
That night seemed to crack something deep inside him, like a dam giving way to a flood of longing for touch.
Spencer—who had always been wary of physical contact—now found himself drawn to Y/N in ways he hadn’t anticipated. Every time they handed each other papers or worked on case files together, he’d make sure their fingers brushed. As he passed by her desk, he’d let his fingers trace along her shoulder blades, offering her a quiet smile that she always returned. After particularly exhausting days, he’d seek her out, leaning into her embrace, letting her arms offer him comfort and grounding. And during their hangouts, Spencer no longer hesitated to inch closer, letting his side press against hers, or allowing her to stretch her legs over his lap. The proximity felt natural, and he couldn’t help but crave it more.
It only got worse as time went on. He couldn't keep his hands off of her. It wasn't just casual touches anymore—it was almost as if every opportunity to be near her was a chance to close the distance between them. Y/N couldn't get enough of it. And the team? They definitely noticed. JJ, in particular, seemed to pick up on it right away.
JJ had attempted to confront Spencer about his growing closeness with Y/N before, but each time, he waved her off, insisting that he and Y/N had simply discovered they had more in common than he'd realized and that he just wanted to be her friend. JJ wasn’t convinced—not for a second. It was obvious to her that Spencer was falling for Y/N, and for reasons she couldn’t fully explain, it left a bad taste in her mouth. It wasn’t that she harbored romantic feelings for him, but she had grown accustomed to his attention. As much as she hated to admit it, she missed being the one to receive it.
The tension finally boiled over when the team was dispatched to a case in Oregon.
It had been six months since the incident on the jet, and Y/N and Spencer had become almost inseparable. Garcia and Morgan, delighted by their closeness, often teased them and playfully begged them to just admit they were dating—though both vehemently insisted that their relationship was purely platonic. Rossi and Emily often exchanged knowing looks on the jet, with Emily even going so far as to snap a picture of Y/N and Spencer sleeping on the couch after a case—a cute picture featuring Spencer’s head resting on Y/N’s and her face tucked into his shoulder as they peacefully dozed together. Even Hotch seemed to approve, having reviewed the Bureau’s internal fraternization policies just in case Strauss raised an issue. The only person who didn’t seem thrilled about it was JJ.
Two days in Oregon, and the team was already facing an uphill battle. They’d been working non-stop to build a profile for the unsub, but so far, nothing had gone right. There were no witnesses who could provide a description, a local officer had already compromised key evidence from the first crime scene, and the victims seemed to have no clear link to one another. Frustration was mounting for everyone, but for JJ it was mounting for an entirely separate reason.
Spencer had been managing his frustration through subtle touches with Y/N—brief brushes of his hand against her lower back as he passed, pressing his head into her shoulder with a frustrated groan after combing through their limited information for hours... But the moment that pushed JJ to her breaking point was when Spencer, noticing an officer staring at Y/N, pulled her possessively into him, his hand firmly gripping her waist until that officer left the room.
"Y/N?"
JJ's voice was tight as she stepped into the conference room the local officers had set up for the BAU to use during their case, spotting Y/N standing in front of the pinned-up map of the area as she studied the locations where the victims had been found. Spencer had just left, going to start more coffee for them since they were running low. The rest of the team was out in the field, reinvestigating the crime scenes for anything that may have been missed initially.
Y/N looked up, her brow furrowing as JJ closed the door. They weren’t close on a personal level, and Y/N couldn’t think of any reason, related to the case or otherwise, for JJ to want to speak with her alone.
"...Yes?"
JJ lingered near the end of the table, her arms crossed across her chest as she leveled Y/N with a look that immediately had her on edge. "I’m not trying to pry, but as his best friend, I have to ask… what’s going on between you and Spencer?" Her face was twisted in a scowl, her head tilting as she waited for a response.
Y/N's eyebrows nearly shot up into her hairline at that, a scoffed laugh leaving her lips before she could stop it. His best friend. Was she serious?
"Excuse me?"
"What's going on with you and Spencer?" JJ repeated, her voice deliberate. "Everyone’s noticed how he’s been acting—the constant touching, for one, is a bit much, don’t you think? He never wants to hang out with me anymore. It’s like he's all about you now. So, are you two seeing each other or what?"
Y/N turned to face JJ fully, her lips tightening into a thin line as she took a steadying breath. Her audacity was astounding, truly. The last thing she wanted today was to argue with this fucking—
"That's hilarious, Jennifer. Really," Y/N chuckled lowly, shaking her head. "Have you ever considered that maybe—just maybe—Spencer is an adult who can make his own decisions? I’m not the reason he doesn't want to spend time with you."
JJ stiffened at the mention of her name, scoffing in response. "Oh, clearly you have something to do with it. Before you started driving him home, he followed me around like a lost puppy. Now he barely even wants to be around me!"
That struck a nerve in Y/N, like a live wire finally sparked to life. A lost puppy? Was that truly how little she thought of him? Y/N's head tilted, her voice dropping to a low, dangerous tone as she spoke again.
"Don't you ever talk about Spencer like that again. He's not your fucking pet, Jennifer!"
Her voice was menacing as she stepped forward, grim satisfaction coursing through her as JJ stumbled backward.
"Spencer is a brilliant, capable man who’s never deserved the way you or anyone else have made him feel less than that. We’re not dating. But if we were, I wouldn’t be ashamed of him. Unlike you, who found the idea of a man like him adoring you repulsive instead of seeing it for the gift it was. Spencer Reid is a fucking treasure, and it’s entirely your fault you never realized how lucky you were to have his attention."
Y/N's face was flushed red with anger, her chest heaving as she seethed.
"So again, I have nothing to do with him not wanting to spend time with you anymore. Maybe he finally realized that you're just not as great of a person as you pretend to be."
Rather than waiting for the teary-eyed, speechless blonde to reply, Y/N grabbed her things and stormed out, heading out to take an early lunch. But as she swung the door open, she was met with Spencer standing right there, and before she could react, she collided with his chest. His hands immediately flew to her waist, steadying her as she looked up sheepishly.
"Shit! I’m sorry, Spence," Y/N muttered, still fuming from her conversation with JJ. Her face turned even redder when she realized he might have heard some of it, but she didn’t regret a word of what she’d said.
He hadn't just heard some of it... He'd heard all of it. When he’d left earlier, he’d turned back, intending to ask if she wanted to take a break from the map. Instead, he had been met with the sight of JJ closing the door, and he curiously (shamefully) pressed up against it to know what was going on.
Admittedly, it stung to hear JJ talk about him like that, even though he already knew she'd taken advantage of his past crush on her. But Y/N's words and how she defended him hit him harder than expected. It became clear in that instant—no one had ever been there for him the way she always had been, and somewhere along the way, he'd fallen deeply in love with her.
"Hey, hey, it’s alright," Spencer said quietly, his hands smoothing over her waist before resting gently on her shoulders. "Go take your lunch. You’ve earned a break. I’ll keep working on the geographical profile until you return."
Y/N offered a weary but grateful smile before walking away, leaving Spencer alone to process the revelation weighing on him.
That night, Spencer paced his hotel room, caught between waiting until they were home to tell Y/N how he felt or just saying it now. He felt like an idiot for not recognizing it sooner, for convincing himself his feelings for her were purely platonic. But now that he knew, it consumed him. He wanted to shout it to the heavens, to tell the world he was in love with her.
Spencer knew what he had to do. He realized that confessing his feelings in the middle of a case wasn’t ideal, but the thought of waiting any longer to let her know how much she meant to him was unbearable. That’s why, before he could talk himself out of it, he found himself standing outside her door at midnight, knocking softly.
"Spence? You okay?"
Her sleepy voice tugged at his heart as she opened the door, rubbing her eyes and letting out a soft yawn. She smiled faintly, gesturing for him to come in. The room was cloaked in darkness, but the moonlight spilling through the curtains illuminated the crumpled sheets, evidence of her restless sleep.
His heart hammered in his chest as he breathed in unsteadily, lowering himself onto the edge of her bed. She crawled back to the middle, flicking on the bedside lamp, the soft light casting a warm glow between them. His courage started to falter, but the gentle concern in her eyes anchored him. He remembered why he was here—because with her, he felt safe enough to face this, no matter how vulnerable he felt.
"Y/N, I—" Spencer began, his voice catching for a moment, but he continued anyway. "I heard what happened with JJ earlier, and it made me realize something I should’ve recognized a long time ago. I was so caught up in denial that it didn’t hit me until now. And I’m so sorry for that…"
Oh, fuck. He was starting to ramble. This isn't how he wanted this to go at all—
"Y/N... I'm in love with you. I am so, so in love with you that it aches. You are, without a doubt, the most beautiful person I’ve ever known. And it’s not just the way you look, though I could spend hours talking about how stunning you are. It’s who you are, the goodness that radiates from you. You make me want to be better, to wake up every day and try to be at least half the person you are. You care for everyone around you like it’s your purpose, and I want to be the one who takes care of you for once because you truly deserve that. I’ve never felt anything like this, and if you don’t feel the same way, that’s okay. But I just—I needed you to know."
Y/N’s jaw dropped as Spencer’s confession filled the air, her eyes welling with tears as the words she had longed for spilled from him. She moved swiftly, sitting up from the pillows and crawling toward him, a tear dripping down her cheek as she rested her hands on his shoulders.
"I love you too, Spencer Reid," she breathed, her voice trembling with sincerity. "I love you with everything I am."
Spencer’s lungs burned as he released a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. He returned her watery smile, his heart overflowing with love for the woman before him. Carefully, he cupped her face, his thumb following the line of her cheeks, his eyes filled with a quiet mix of wonder and adoration.
“Can I kiss you? Please?”
Her lips were on his the second he uttered the last syllable.
The kiss was both gentle and intense, their lips meeting with a deliberate slowness as if savoring every moment of crossing the line from friendship into something more. There was a hunger beneath the tenderness, an unspoken yearning finally being released. Their lips parted for only a second, allowing them to suck in a quick breath before they were back on each other. Each kiss was a quiet revelation, better than they had ever dreamed.
What started as an innocent declaration of their feelings for each other quickly evolved into something more ravenous as Spencer’s tongue prodded at the seam of her lips. The soft exhale Y/N released as their tongues brushed together had Spencer groaning, one of his hands sliding to cradle the back of her head as he savored the taste of her and the feeling of her lips against his. His other hand gingerly slid down her body, settling on her hip as he leaned forward, guiding her to rest against the pillows.
Y/N’s thighs parted eagerly to make room for him between them, her hands lacing through his hair as she tugged him impossibly closer. His elbows dug into the mattress beside her body as he hovered above her, swallowing the moan that slipped from her lips when their hips pressed together. He chased her lips when she tipped her head back, kissing her with an intensity that made her dizzy and had her whining into his mouth.
"I-I want— Spence, please—"
Y/N pleaded as his lips trailed down the side of her neck to suck a mark into her collarbone, though she wasn't even sure what she was begging for. She just knew she needed him. Her body felt like it was aflame, ignited by the spark that was Spencer's tongue soothing the possessive bruise now blooming across her skin. She needed him so desperately that her mind became a blur, consumed by an endless craving, unable to focus on anything but the overwhelming desire for more—more of him, more of this, more of everything he offered.
The thin fabric of their pajamas did little to conceal the feeling of his stiff cock grinding against her in subtle rocks of his hips as his hands began to roam her body, only adding to the overwhelming need she felt coursing through her. Spencer hushed her with a gentle peck, his lips lingering against hers for a brief, sweet moment before he moved to kiss her nose, her cheeks, and finally her forehead. With each gentle kiss, she couldn't help but giggle softly, her laughter melting into the space between them.
"I know, pretty girl. You're already so worked up and all I've done is kiss you," he cooed, the words taking her by surprise. He wasn't wrong. A wet patch had started seeping through the cotton of her pants, something his fingers had taken an interest in as he began to lightly skim up and down her clit with his knuckles over the damp fabric. "No one ever takes care of you, do they, baby? Let me be the one to take care of you, Y/N. Please?" He paused, gently lifting her chin so he could meet her gaze.
Spencer’s words quieted the storm raging inside her, and she took a deep breath, her body finally relaxing. She couldn’t recall the last time she’d felt such a strong desire to let go, to stop carrying the weight of everything alone. To finally surrender and let someone take care of her. So she did exactly that.
"Yes. God, yes. Please, Spencer," Y/N whispered, her eyes searching his, full of need and trust.
It was as if a switch flipped the moment Spencer got the confirmation he needed.
His lips were back on hers in an instant, devouring her as though she'd melt away if he stopped touching her for even a second. He rolled them over, breaking the kiss to glide his hands underneath the rumpled t-shirt Y/N had on for bed and lifting it over her head in one swift motion. Ignoring her soft squeal of surprise, he brought his hands down to her hips, massaging the skin there before sliding his hands under the waistband of her pajama pants to grip her ass.
"Look at you… You're nothing short of incredible. Absolutely breathtaking," Spencer murmured, staring up at her in awe. The soft brown of his eyes had faded, overtaken by the dark void of his dilated pupils, as if a veil had been drawn across them. "I can't even begin to express how lucky I am to have you... how beautiful you are."
Y/N’s cheeks flushed under his gaze, her teeth gently catching her lower lip as she placed her hands beside his head for support. She shivered as her nipples brushed against the fabric of his shirt, hardened by the cool air of the hotel room and the desire she felt coursing through her. She answered with a hum and ducked her head shyly, mouthing at the sensitive skin underneath his jaw as she wriggled impatiently in his hold.
Spencer chuckled breathlessly, squeezing her ass again before retracting his hands. His fingers danced along the waistband of her pants teasingly before he began to tug them down, dragging her panties with them. His heart raced as she wiggled out of them, hammering against his chest with a rhythm that felt almost deafening. He couldn’t comprehend what he’d done to deserve someone like her, but he would spend a lifetime making sure she knew just how precious she was to him.
"It's your turn to strip," Y/N mumbled as she sat up, straddling his waist as her hands found their way under his shirt. "I feel so... exposed."
Spencer’s brows quirked in amusement, a quiet laugh slipping out before he could stop it as she shoved the shirt up and over his head. She slithered down his body, grinning up at him before placing a kiss on his hip bone. His pants soon joined the growing pile of clothes on the ground, followed shortly after by his boxers.
"There. Is that better, sweetheart?" Spencer teased, but the words went completely unheard as she gawked at him.
Y/N kneeled between his spread legs, her hands planted firmly on his thighs as she took in the sight of him. He lay before her like something straight out of her most vivid dreams, more stunning than she’d ever imagined. He was effortlessly handsome—his hair tousled, lips slightly swollen from their kisses, and freckles and scars scattered across his shoulders and chest like a map of his past. His muscles were lean and toned, and the sparse hair trailing down beneath his belly button was far more enticing than it should've been. His cock was as pretty as he was, the flushed head of his more than impressive arousal matching the pink of his cheeks.
She couldn’t tear her eyes away.
"C'mere. I'm supposed to be taking care of you," Spencer grinned, motioning for Y/N to crawl back over him.
Instead of letting her settle with her thighs around his hips like she had previously been, he tugged insistently, her brows furrowing in confusion as she wobbled above him.
"Spencer, what—"
"Get up here," Spencer crooned, finally managing to maneuver her forward so her pussy hovered over his mouth. "And sit down."
Y/N's jaw dropped, her hands flying out to catch herself as she gripped the headboard. She was taken aback, utterly speechless. Here she was, being manhandled by Spencer Reid. The same quiet, awkward genius who rambled endlessly about statistics and couldn’t sit still for more than a minute was man-handling her and demanding she sit on his face. Was she dreaming?
"Are you— are you sure?" Y/N squeaked, staring down at him with wide eyes. "You really don't have to—"
Spencer turned his head so he could pepper open-mouthed kisses up and down her inner thigh, coaxing a soft moan from her as his warm breath fanned across her soaked folds.
"Stop all that worrying, pretty girl. I told you I'd take care of you—let me keep my word."
Before she could protest, Spencer gripped her hips, pulling her down at the same time he tilted his head up to lap his tongue over her core. Any hesitation Y/N had left evaporated from her body as a guttural moan ripped its way from her throat, her eyes fluttering shut as Spencer dragged his tongue over her clit. His movements were languid but hungry as he reveled in the taste of her, relishing her essence as though it was the very thing he needed to fuel his existence.
The air was filled with a mixture of moans and the slick sound of Spencer's mouth working between her legs, only amplifying the intense pleasure swimming through her body. Once Spencer was sure Y/N would stay put, he let one of his hands fall away from her hips, tracing it down his body until it wrapped around his cock. The breathy sounds she was letting out had him painfully hard, his thumb spreading the bead of precum spilling from the tip down the length of him as he began to pump himself.
"Oh, fuck—" Y/N whined as she forced her eyes open, turning to look over her shoulder at the sound of Spencer touching himself. The sight had her thighs trembling, a low groan rumbling in her throat as she turned her gaze down to look at him underneath her.
His eyes were squeezed shut, his brows pinched together in pleasure as his hand began to move faster. It was downright sinful. She'd never seen anything more beautiful.
Spencer alternated between fucking his tongue into her and sucking gently at her clit, the combination hurtling her toward her orgasm at a speed she never thought was possible. Y/N's hips rocked against his face, frantic whimpers slipping from her lips as her face began to scrunch in pleasure. The needy moans he was letting out against her skin pushed her over the edge as a sharp gasp broke free into the air, followed by a loud cry as her hands dropped from the headboard to tangle into his hair while she came.
Spencer whimpered as he let go of himself, instead using his hands to anchor her down while he gently worked her through her climax. He pressed a small kiss to her clit before she squirmed away, falling onto the bed beside him as her chest heaved. A look of adoration lingered on his face as he stroked her side and hair, pressing his lips to her forehead while she caught her breath.
Y/N flashed a small grin, rolling her eyes at his proud expression. A comforting heaviness settled in her limbs, pulling her deeper into the bed as she released a soft sigh. It took her a few moments to push herself up on her elbow, shifting to face him instead of lying flat on her back.
"How am I ever supposed to get anything done again now that I know you can do that?" Y/N murmured with a hint of exasperation, tilting her head to nuzzle her nose against his.
Spencer’s breath hitched as she draped her leg across his waist, hissing quietly as the head of his cock brushed against her warmth. He hummed, feigning thought before shrugging with a playful grin. "Could be a reward for a job well done," he teased, brushing a lingering kiss across her lips as his hand rubbed up and down her thigh.
"Yeah?" Y/N's hips began to slowly rock back and forth, the friction from his cock pressing between her folds making her head spin. "Well, can I reward you for a job well done then?"
Spencer's fingers flexed against her thigh, a low noise escaping him as he fought to keep his eyes on hers.
It made sense to him now why sailors would plummet into icy waters at the sound of a siren's call. If that call was anything as alluring as the sound of her voice, he'd happily do the same. She could demand the most heinous things of him right now and he'd do them simply because she asked.
But tonight was about her.
So instead of caving and begging for her touch, he shook his head, his lips quirking up at the pout forming on her lips. "As much as I would love to take you up on that offer, I'm supposed to be taking care of you, sweetheart. Not the other way around."
"Okay... so then take care of me by fucking me. Please?"
Spencer's resolve broke at her words. How could he possibly deny her? He'd be an absolute fool not to give her whatever her heart wished for.
His lips met hers in a fervent kiss as he moved to hover over her once more. Two of his fingers found her soaked pussy and sank inside of her with little resistance, a smug grin finding its way to his face as she gasped loudly into his mouth. He broke the kiss, trailing his lips along her jaw before he whispered into her ear.
"Are you sure that's what you want?"
Y/N bucked her hips up into his touch, writhing underneath him as she nodded frantically. There wasn't a thing in this world that she wanted more. "Yes, Spence, please. Please fuck me. I need it—"
Spencer groaned, latching his lips onto the side of her neck as he inhaled sharply through his nose before he sat back on his heels. His fingers slipped out of her, her eyes widening as he brought the digits to his mouth and sucked them clean with a satisfied hum.
"Flip over."
Y/N followed his command without hesitation, the rush of anticipation making her feel almost detached, as though she were on autopilot, waiting to see what he would do next. Her breath caught in her throat as his lips pressed a gentle kiss to her shoulder before he reached for a pillow, tucking it underneath her hips to prop her up. A low whine emitted from her chest as she felt the flushed head of his arousal bump against her entrance, her hips canting back in an attempt to get him to push forward as he leaned forward, his chest brushing her back as he planted his hands into the mattress beside her.
"Do you want it like this, sweetheart? No condom? Because I can go find one..." Spencer murmured into her ear, his breathing labored as he teased her opening.
"Please— Wanna feel you, Spence," She whined into the pillow, arching her hips into his touch, though he remained just out of reach.
Spencer's eyes squeezed shut as a pang of arousal shot through him, taking a shuddering breath to mentally prepare himself not to blow his load before he even fucked her. With a kiss to the back of her head, Spencer began to press forward, easing into her inch by inch.
Y/N's mouth gaped open against the pillow she'd tugged underneath her head in a silent moan, the sensation of him finally filling her more intense than she'd expected. Her fingers gripped the sheets as he bottomed out, a pitiful whimper slipping free as she wiggled her hips in an attempt to adjust to the feeling. Her walls clenched around him instinctively as she adjusted, causing a broken moan to fall from his lips as his head rested against her shoulder, his breath puffing across her skin in warm bursts.
His right arm kept him braced above her while his left arm made its way under her chest, pulling her close as his hand began to grope at her breasts. His fingertips pinched one of her nipples, reveling in the soft moan she let out. "Are you ready for me to move, pretty girl?" He breathed, peppering kisses along the side of her face as he waited for her to relax.
At her nod, Spencer began to move, his thrusts slow but powerful as he repeatedly drove into her. He shifted up onto his knees, pulling her hips back into his languid thrusts as she moaned beneath him. The angle allowed him to brush her G-spot with every stroke, causing her toes to curl with each pang of pleasure that wracked her body. His hands squeezed the flesh of her ass, a low whine bubbling in his throat as he took in the sight of his cock sliding in and out of her.
It was downright erotic, the sight of her arousal coating the wiry curls at the base of him driving him insane. She was so fucking wet for him. The knowledge that he was making her feel this good made his head spin. He couldn't keep it to himself anymore. He needed to show her how deeply this was affecting him, to make her understand the intensity of the way she made him feel.
Everyone knew Spencer liked to run his mouth. It wasn't a surprise that this remained true during sex. What surprised Y/N, however, was how absolutely filthy of a mouth the man had. Spencer, the same Spencer who had barely uttered a curse in all the years she'd known him, was now stringing together words that would make even the most foul-mouthed person blush.
His pace increased with each word he murmured, small "ah, ah, ah's" spilling from her lips as he began to really pound into her.
"Does that feel good? Huh? Finally being taken care of the way you deserve?"
"Fuck— look at you, baby. Taking my cock so well. Do you like that? You like feeling me stretch you open?"
"Such a perfect pussy, sweetheart. So fucking good for me. So tight. My beautiful girl."
Every vulgar word he breathed into the space between them had her mind reeling, her body teetering on the edge of release as her walls fluttered around him. Desperate moans began to spill from her as she took everything he had to offer, her teeth digging into her lower lip to try to stifle the noises in an attempt not to wake everyone on that floor of the hotel. Spencer's gaze was locked on the way her ass rippled with each thrust, a look of pure ecstasy on his face as his brows pinched together and his mouth hung open.
"S-Spence— I'm so close—" Y/N whimpered, burying her face into the pillow beneath her as she moaned helplessly.
He dragged one of his hands away from where it was squeezing her hip, shoving it between her hips and the pillow propping her up as he began to stroke her clit in time with his thrusts. "Let go, sweet girl. Cum around my cock. Show me how good I make you feel."
She cried out at that, thrashing underneath him as the tension coiling in her lower belly finally snapped. Spencer's hips stuttered, a guttural moan wrenching its way from his throat as she squeezed around him, her legs trembling as one of the most powerful orgasms she'd ever experienced washed over her in waves.
"God— fuck, I'm about to cum," Spencer grunted, his eyes squeezing shut briefly as he swallowed hard, his chest heaving with exertion as he fucked her through it. "Where do you want it, pretty girl?"
"Wanna taste you... Spence, please—" Y/N slurred beneath him, weakly pushing up on her elbows to turn and look at him over her shoulder. Her bottom lip was swollen and lightly bruised from how hard she'd been biting at it, and her eyes were watery with unshed tears as the pleasure began to overwhelm her.
The sight of her looking so ruined almost had him spilling inside of her, and with a muffled curse he pulled out of her, fisting his cock as she rolled onto her back and stuck her tongue out patiently. He shuffled up her body, bracing himself with one hand against the headboard as he gazed down at her reverently. The amusement he felt from the brief feeling of deja vu from having her in a similar position earlier that night was short-lived as his head tipped back, a strained whimper filling the air as her tongue brushed against the head of his cock.
It only took a few pumps for him to cum, his eyes rolling back into his head when she sat up to take him further into her mouth as rope after rope of his essence flooded her throat. Y/N sucked gently, working him through his orgasm until his hips were jerking and he was whining, pulling off of his softening cock with a slick 'pop'. He crumpled onto the bed next to her, his heart pounding almost painfully against his ribcage as he struggled to catch his breath.
Spencer wrapped her tightly in his arms, his lips brushing against the top of her head with soft, repeated kisses. Between each tender touch, he murmured how incredible she made him feel, how he couldn’t believe he was lucky enough to share this life with her, let alone love her the way he did. Y/N whispered back, her voice soft but full of conviction, telling him how deeply she cherished him and how every part of her was filled with love for him.
Her fingers idly traced patterns across the flushed skin of his chest until he caught her hand, pressing tender kisses to her knuckles before quietly slipping out of bed. She groaned petulantly as he pulled her to her feet, ushering her towards the bathroom with a pat to her butt and a mumbled but passionate lecture on the timeframe after sex in which she needed to pee to avoid getting a UTI. Even though she knew he was right, she still rolled her eyes as she trudged into the bathroom. She decided to brush her teeth while she was there as well, giggling to herself at the thought of kissing Spencer with the taste of him still in her mouth.
When she stepped out, Spencer had changed the sheets and set a bottle of water on the nightstand, flashing a drowsy grin as she slipped into bed next to him and turned the lamp out. "What's all this about?" she teased, her smile breaking into a yawn.
"I'm taking care of you, just like I said I would."
It didn’t take long for exhaustion to settle in, both of them murmuring good nights between soft kisses. As they drifted off together, Y/N felt certain he would be taking care of her for the rest of his life—and she was just as sure that she would do the same for him.
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Continued A/N's: Happy (late) start to December!! I really hope you guys enjoy this :') I plan on doing a little something (maybe, possibly ;) ) for Christmas, so stay tuned for updates on what that little something may be. Also, a loving reminder that my requests are open! :) <3 K
REMINDER: I do NOT give permission for my work to be re-uploaded to any other platforms (c.ai, Tiktok, ao3, etc.) under any circumstances. If you'd like to translate my work, then please ask me before doing so. I know it sounds whiny, but I (as well as many other fanfic writers) spend so much time on these and it's genuinely not okay to take credit for work that isn't yours. It's insulting and completely unnecessary. If I do see my work uploaded anywhere without explicit permission, I WILL say something.
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pittrabbit · 3 months ago
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warning: pure angst (there will be a fluffy part 2 lol), not proofread, age gap (think 28 and 49), smut in part 2
summary: jack's insistence on pulling away from you finally caused you to break. that, combined with an unlucky day full of bad outcomes, had you visiting jack's favorite spot.
word count: 1.8k
part 2
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"you're in my spot."
the humorous quip had you scoffing to yourself, but you remained stuck to your spot, not bothering to turn around to find the man who had caused you to end up on that roof.
noting your silence, jack walked a few more steps, leaning on the rail as he looked at your back, pursing his lips at your silence. he took a moment to think about what to say next, being somewhat aware of your current mood and disfavor towards him at the moment.
he hummed, leaning closer, attempting to enter your sideview, but not even getting a bone thrown at him from you.
"you wanna talk, kid?," he tried, knowing you were a fuse about to blow up.
he knew what he'd done. was aware of why you where here, why you had been icing him out all week — hell, he was even aware of why you'd entered a request to switch shifts (information courtesy of michael robinavitch).
he'd fucked up. massively.
and even though he'd been aware of it even as he'd done it, he still thought it was for the best. looking out for you was something that came naturally to him, ever since the moment you'd transferred into the pitt as a second year resident.
you were a force to be reckoned with, that much he knew upon a first meeting. you'd overstayed way past your shift, insisting on finishing up a case you'd been on all day. that was when he came in, flouncing in with all his night-shift swag and immediately tapping robby out so he could take his place as attending for the night.
despite it being your first week there, you moved around the place with a practiced ease. this wasn't your first rodeo with emergency medicine, even opening up to jack about your past in healthcare as he taught you a procedure.
you ended up working a double shift that day, with jack unable to stop dragging you with him to even more procedures. he felt bad about it afterwards (maybe even a little flustered at how much he enjoyed working with you upon a first meeting), losing track of time and not realizing how overworked you'd already been.
and so you grew even closer. jack found himself trading his usual night shift and showing up whenever he predicted you'd be working. he had a flexible schedule, being allowed to clock in whenever extra hands were needed or simply switching shifts with robby and shen every so often.
his change in pace wasn't really questioned at first. jack was a workaholic through and through, so it wasn't out of character for him to be found working at odd hours of the day. the one difference to be found was his newfound habit to gravitate towards you, quietly insistent on being the one to drag you along with him for cases he thought you'd find interesting, keeping you close and teaching you everything he knew.
it was when others took notice of this that jack began to have problems. problems with himself, mainly.
it started with a passing comment from dana. something about how his 'work wife' had arrived earlier and was waiting for him. that received a chuckle from him and a furrowed brow towards dana.
that wasn't so bad. mel had earned the title of langdon's protege as soon as he came back from rehab and no one really batted an eye. the same could be said about robby and whitaker. you weren't an exception, so jack didn't think too much of it.
but then came a comment from santos, who'd raised her hand and stepped forward with excitement in her eyes at the opportunity of intubating a patient, claiming garcia had crowned her the best of the newcomers. but she was interrupted by jack, who immediately reached out to you with a scalpel in hand, almost as if it were second nature to him to entrust you with it.
santos had responded to this with a scoff, muttering something complaint about him favoring you every time. her comment got a whispered 'yeah' from whitaker and even an awkward nod from mohan, making you falter in confidence as you followed jack's directions.
what had broken the camel's back, though, was when even robby made a comment on your attachment to each other a week prior.
upon his arrival, jack began looking around, steps slow as he walked into the ER. the place was pretty quiet for an emergency room, so it was easy for jack to become distracted, not realizing what he was looking for until he was snapped out of his distracted state by someone clearing their throat in front of him.
looking up, he found a smug robby leaning against the nurse's station, not speaking up until jack snapped with a 'what?'
"looking for her, huh?" robby asked, taking a few steps towards abbot.
"what- who?" but jack knew who.
robby slapped an arm across jack's shoulders, pulling him in as they walked together further into the ER, leaning in closer before speaking.
"you have a crush on her or something, man? its- it's fine if you do, i mean, who am i to judge? i'm with heather, so-"
but jack cut him off, a little snappier than he ever liked to be, specially with robby.
"that's nonsense, robby. i- nevermind, i'm going to go check if mohan's got anything for me," he pulled away abruptly, speeding up his movements as he disappeared from robby's view.
it was a rare emotion to arise within jack, but he felt mortified at the implication. but it was mostly out of denial. that much he realized.
it had never been his intention to get so close, to form any sort of reputation with you.
he cared too much about you, about your talent, your future, you, to do this. not once had he stopped to analyze his feelings towards you, to think of why he gravitated towards you so much, but now that robby had snapped his bubble, it all made sense.
immediately, he pushed it all down. he put on a cold front, denying himself even a single moment to think about what this all meant. not once did he allow himself to stop and think about his feelings for you. this wasn't supposed to happen, so he wouldn't let it even begin.
he began pulling away from you after that, ignoring any mention of you brought up by either robby or dana. he started to turn to other residents, earning a pair of wide eyes from santos when he stretched his hand past you and in her direction to hand her the scalpel.
he'd even stopped approaching you altogether, no longer making casual conversation with you or purposely clocking in at the same hours as you — which had no effect at first, as you'd tried matching your shifts to his too, a realization that made him feel like an even bigger asshole at shutting you down so abruptly.
it had all been done in silence.
your relationship had formed through an unspoken compatibility, growing almost instantly into a mutual infatuation with one another, never assumed as anything more than platonic, but silently working its way towards more than that. the end of your 'relationship' had also been silent, with him pulling away without a single word, leading you to eventually do the same, both with apprehension and regret.
jack could tell that he had hurt you from that very first time he walked past you in the halls, opting to go straight into work rather than even say good morning to you. and his cold behavior only continued to expand. you gave up trying after a week, beginning to avoid him in return and looking to other attendings for guidance rather than him.
and it could've ended there, had jack abbot not been a huge hypocrite.
because the moment you began to pull away, the second you gave him his own treatment in return, jack came crawling back.
he tried to be subtle about it, asking you leading questions about cases and even checking in on you after harsh outcomes. he extended an olive branch, hoping that you could at least go back to cordialities, but you weren't receptive to him anymore. and he really couldn't blame you.
after two weeks of you freezing him out, he couldn't handle it anymore — nor could he handle robby and collins' looks of pity any time you'd walk past him without even a glance.
so when he saw you heading upstairs, taking those stairs that always led him to a dangerous flirtation with life and death, he followed behind you without thinking twice.
"kid, please," he spoke up again after no response from you.
"what, now you wanna talk?" you scoffed in a tone he'd never heard from you.
you were known to be assertive, sure, but you were sunshine while he was a storm. specially with him, always smiles and blushy cheeks any time he'd praise your hard work an intellect — and sometimes even when he merely looked at you.
"kid, listen-"
"no"
you turned to him abruptly, which was when he finally saw the glossiness of your eyes. your lips were plumper than usual, as if you'd been licking them a lot. the tip of your nose was slightly swollen, with a sniffle only confirming his suspicions — you'd been crying.
you'd lost someone today. it had taken a long battle, one that you ended up losing. but jack knew your tears weren't solely about that. he made up a good percentage of that equation.
"you don't get to choose when i'm of use to you," you continued, pointedly, "you can't fucking play with my emotions like this."
his jaw clenched and unclenched, admittedly shocked by you snapping so suddenly. though he knew it was a long time coming.
"kid, i- i never meant to."
you laughed ironically, looking down at the floor and shaking your head in disbelief, "you knew what was happening. you- you knew how i felt. there's no way you didn't," you paused, swallowing vile before looking at him with some hesitation, "and i knew how you felt too."
he went to speak, only to be interrupted by you.
"you were just a fucking coward."
it stung more than he wanted to admit.
"so, no, doctor abbot, we are not friends, we are barely even colleagues. you don't get to come 'check up on me' when it's convenient to you. stay out of my way and i'll stay out of yours," you leaned down, surpassing the railing and making it to his side, "that's what you wanted, isn't it?"
your eyes were full of bitterness, eyeing him with anger he'd never imagined from you.
he had no chance to respond before you walked away, leaving him alone on the roof, the place he frequented the most before ever meeting you.
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ham-st4r · 1 year ago
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90 DAYS OF PLEASURE - L. HS
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PAIRING: HEESEUNG + FEM READER!
WARNINGS: smut, quickies, public sex, unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, ear licking, cum eating, hate-ish sex, cursing, teasing, lots of jealousy, angst, fluff, oral, dirty talk, spitting, swallowing, fingering, toe sucking, alcohol, arguments, Heeseung, because his attitude in this fic is a warning in itself 💀 mans is a lil obsessed and delusional filler characters, yeonjun, jeongin, sunghoon, jay, jake, yeji, karina.
GENRE: 18+, smut, enemies to?
SUMMARY: You were excited to move to your childhood bestfriend's neighborhood after being separated for years. You couldn’t wait to catch up and meet her large group of friends and attend a new school together. What you couldn’t have been prepared for was the fact that one of her said friends would become your enemy on just the first day of meeting and the roller coaster of emotions that followed after.
WORDCOUNT: 31,114k CHARACTERS 169,383k
Hello! This is my first time writing something like this, so I’m a bit dissatisfied with the outcome. However, I spent a decent amount of time writing it, and everyone seems to be excited for it, so I decided to post it for you guys cause otherwise, this would not be seeing the light of day💀 bear with me; I’ll try to write better plots from now on. But anyways, it’s finally here, so I hope everyone enjoys it. Please, please, please send feedback and reblog. I worked so hard on this, so it can’t flop :/
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Today was your first day of college, well, at least as a transfer student anyways, you had been so excited to transfer cause after all this time you were finally going to be reuniting with your childhood best friend. You missed her so much after she moved away, but luckily, your parents decided to relocate this year, and it just so happened to be in her same community. Needless to say, you couldn't have been happier after so long. You'd finally be seeing her again.
Over the years, you both kept in touch by texting and FaceTiming every day, keeping your friendship as strong as it was the day she moved away.
However, though your bond was strong, you just couldn't get over the fact that you couldn't hug her, see her in person, and go out together like you used to. It killed you, but neither of you could do anything about it, so sadly, you just accepted it.
But now here you both are, just minutes from meeting again, and you couldn't wait. To say you were happy would be an understatement.
You were impatiently waiting outside the school, nearly shaking in excitement. You were nervous but so so happy at the same time.
You texted her the time you arrived, and minutes later, she was running towards you at the gates of your new school. "Y/n!" she shouted your name with the biggest smile on her face as she opened her arms far and wide to give you a big hug.
You giggled when you saw her excitedly running towards you, and you outstretched your arms, engulfing her in a bone-crushing hug while releasing a deep sigh. "It's been so long." As mentioned previously, you both kept in touch over the phone and on FaceTime, but it still didn't beat actually seeing each other in person after so many years apart.
"Too long" you said tightening your grip on her you missed the warmth of her hugs the most especially when you were going through tough times.
"I missed you. There's so much I have to show you," she cheered as she broke the hug. "I have to show you around and show you to classes. Oh, and of course, you have to finally meet all my friends," she clapped excitedly.
"Friends? I thought I was your only friend," you say playfully, nudging her shoulder with yours.
"You're my only best friend," she winked.
"That's more like it." you both linked your arms together, entering the school so she could show you all the ins and outs.
You were shocked, to say the least.
She gave you the full tour like a personal guide, and it was very much appreciated the school was so big that you're sure you would have gotten lost if it wasn't for her showing you around.
It was much nicer than the one you attended and cleaner, too, which wasn't a surprise cause the community was much nicer than your old neighborhood. Not to say your old neighborhood was bad. It just had significantly less income.
She showed you everything on the walk-through, like the bathrooms, the gym, the library, the cafeteria, literally everything.
As you both walk side by side, she suddenly halts and turns to you with a smile on her face after finishing the tour. "So what do you think?"
"It's great. I love it. So much better than my old school. Sorry, not sorry." you both share a laugh together, and you notice your friend suddenly looking behind you. You turn in the direction she's looking in, and you see a boy waving frantically. He looked to be your same age. He had a bright smile on his face. His hair was brown and bouncing up and down as he jogged over to you both.
"Hi, Jake!" Your best friend smiles, and you smile as well. You heard that name in many conversations that you had with her in the past over FaceTime.
"Hey, Yeji," he greets when he finally reaches both of you. He looks at you, his smile growing wider when his eyes meet yours. Yeji spoke about you, her best friend coming into town this week, so Jake could only surmise you were that best friend cause he hasn't seen you around till now.
You couldn't help but smile back cause his smile was literally so contagious. "Y/n, this is my friend. I talked to you about. Jake and I met as soon as I moved here, and he's been by my side protecting me and showing me the ropes ever since."
"Hi Jake, nice to meet you." you extend your hand for him to shake, and he does gladly.
"You too. I love seeing new faces and making new friends," he says excitedly. You usually weren't good at first meetings, but this went surprisingly smooth, and you could already see yourself growing close to him. He just had a very positive and comfortable vibe about him, and anyone who was a friend of Yeji was a friend of yours.
"Class is about to start soon, but I'll briefly introduce you to all my friends." You nod your head, smiling softly at the thought of meeting her friends finally, she talked so much about them, and they all sounded like great people.
"All the others are just outside. Shall we go see them? We have…" Jake trails off, looking at the timepiece on his wrist. "Just about fifteen minutes before class."
"Perfect." Yeji takes your hand in hers, leading you outside on the front bench where they all usually hang out before class. "Hi everyone," she greets, gathering the attention of the five other people sitting on the bench. "So I have someone I'd like you to meet." They all lift their heads from their phones and notebooks, offering you a kind smile as you look at the many different faces of her friend group. "This is y/n, my long-time bestie that I always talk about. You guys already know, but she's transferring here, and from now on, she's a part of our group," she announces while you three take a seat on the bench together with the rest of them. "So treat her well," she says sternly.
You hear a series of hi's and hellos. "H-hello," you say shyly. "I'm y/n. It's nice to finally meet my friends, friends." Chuckling softly, you lower your head, hiding your shyness or attempting to anyway.
"Likewise, names Jay," a male with silver hair replies with a cool smirk on his face.
"I'm Sunghoon. Nice to meet you," another male says, and you can't help but stare at him for a second longer, or maybe two, because he was absolutely breathtaking.
"I'm Karina." You looked to the left, making eye contact with one of the most beautiful girls you've ever seen. Her smile was literally perfect. You nodded slightly, and you're sure you were blushing by now. How come yeji never told you all her friends looked like models.
"Yeonjun," a boy with bright blue hair sitting next to Karina, introduced himself briefly with a small wave, and you smiled politely.
"It's nice to meet all of y-" You were interrupted by someone clearing their throat. You immediately got embarrassed because you didn't even notice him at first. To be fair, though, he was seated a little further on the back of the bench, so it wasn't that easy to notice him. Plus, you were still a bit nervous, and making eye contact wasn't a strong point for you at first-time meetings.
"I'm heeseung," he says dryly without bothering to offer you a smile or a wave cause the way you greeted everyone else but just completely ignored him.
"Nice to meet you, heese-" You try to acknowledge him, but he looked so uninterested, and if you're not mistaken, you could have sworn he rolled his eyes before he interrupted you for the second time in less than a minute.
"Class is starting now." He stands up, throwing his backpack over his shoulder, and walking to the entrance all by himself.
"U-uhh, nice meeting you all. I hope we can all get along and become good friends." You finally finished what you were going to say before that heeseung guy rudely interrupted you not once but twice. You don't understand. Everyone else greeted you perfectly fine, but it's almost as if he didn't even want to meet you, which is weird. You couldn't imagine Yeji being friends with someone like that, but you didn't say anything. He was probably just annoyed by something or tired cause, after all, it was still really early morning, plus no one had a reaction to his behavior, so you're sure you were just reading too much into the situation, that's all.
They all gave you a parting smile and packed up their things, following heeseung into the building while you and Yeji did the same. She dropped you off at your first class, wishing you luck and giving you a thumbs up before leaving you by yourself for the first time today.
-
Introducing yourself in class was something you always dreaded, but the way Yeji's friend Heeseung was almost glaring at you while doing it made it ten times worse. You wondered if you had possibly done something earlier to offend him, but there was nothing you could think of at the moment.
You finished your very short introduction speech and naturally walked to the seat next to Heeseungs. The other chairs were free, but you decided on that one since you were trying to get close to Yeji's friends. You figured this was the perfect way to do just that. "Sorry about earlier." You lean in a little and whisper to him you're not exactly sure what you're even apologizing for, but you did it just to clear the air.
He turns to you, an annoyed expression on his face as he holds his index finger to his mouth, indicating for you to shush.
You sat upright in your chair, a slight pout on your lips from how rude he was being. You were just trying to do the right thing and apologize, and he was being mean about it for no apparent reason.
You wondered how he could be a friend of Yejis. He was very handsome but a total jerk, and Yeji definitely didn't hang around rude people like him, at least not since you've known her.
You sigh, and you can't believe your first class was basically ruined all because of him. When it ended, you couldn't have been happier cause sitting next to him felt so suffocating, and after you left that class, you finally felt like you could breathe again.
"So, how was it?" Yeji pops up out of nowhere while you are wandering the halls alone.
"It was good." You forced a smile and lied because you didn't want to bad mouth Heeseung in front of her. He was literally her friend, and besides, you didn't want it to start any unnecessary drama on the first day. You're sure Heeseung probably just wasn't feeling well.
"Great!" She said enthusiastically everything was already going so well. She was happy your first class was good, and you were finally able to reunite and meet her friends. So far, it was perfect, just how she imagined it would be. "Sorry to leave you again, but" she points down the hall. "Next class," she whispered. You waved her off, telling her it was alright and that you'd be fine alone.
You went your separate ways and headed to your next classroom, and lo and behold, heeseung was in this one, too. This time, you decided to sit away from him, not wanting to annoy him any further than you already apparently had.
Once you sat down, heeseung peeked over his shoulder, looking back at you in the corner of the room. Sitting all by yourself, you felt someone's gaze on you, and as soon as you looked up, you could see him quickly turn away from you. He started tapping his pencil on his desk and bouncing his legs, pretending like he wasn't just staring in your exact direction.
You shook your head, wondering what was up with him, but you let it drift to the back of your mind, convincing yourself that he was just having a bad day and left it alone.
-
Classes went by in a breeze. Heeseung was like literally in all your classes, and it was just your luck, but as the day went on, you were able to focus and completely forget about what happened earlier in the morning.
Once you packed up all your stuff, you left class, texting Yeji that you had just finished. She caught up with you a few minutes later, and you chatted with her about how everything went as you walked the halls to catch up with the others in the cafeteria. She was happy to hear you shared the same classes as Heeseung, but you weren't. "He's really great and smart. If you need help with anything, he's your go-to guy. He's just like naturally good at everything, and he's so humble and nice about it." She goes on and on about how nice he is, but you just can't see it after the way he's been treating you on just the first day of knowing you, but whatever, you trusted Yeji and gave him the benefit of the doubt.
You both headed to the cafeteria, and you wonder if you and yeji are both talking about the same heeseung cause when you sat down next to him, he looked as if he'd tear your head clean off in the last class you had together.
The lunch table in the cafeteria was already full of Yejis's friends gathered around and eating while conversing with each other.
You and Yeji got your food together, and the both of you went to the table to join in the conversation they were having. Yeji easily joined, but it was harder for you because, of course, she had known these people way longer than you, so you stayed quiet for the most part, only laughing at a few jokes here and there.
"Hey, since y/n's new here, we should ask questions so we can learn more about each other," Jake suggested, noticing your silence, and everyone immediately agreed with his idea. "Y/n, you can start," Jake says and includes you into the conversation.
You picked at your food nervously, trying to think of a good conversation starter. "Umm, what's everyone's favorite food?" You ask, hoping that was a good question to start with, and with everyone's enthusiastic replies, you assumed it was, which helped you loosen up a bit.
Everyone told you their favorites, starting with Sunghoon and ending with heeseung. You heard him mutter something under his breath, but you didn't really pay attention to it because he was quite rude earlier, and you weren't entirely over it yet. After you all shared your favorites, you went on to talk about your favorite colors next, just learning the basics about each other on your first day.
Heeseung scoffed and removed himself from the conversation when you didn't reply to him like you did with everyone else. He decided to fill his mouth with food instead of talking. besides, he wasn't that interested in getting to know you anyways cause you were so rude from the moment you introduced yourself, and he wonders how such a sweet girl like yeji could surround herself with someone like you.
Despite your rudeness, heeseung still couldn't deny that when he first saw you, he thought you were absolutely beautiful. That was the only thing you did have on your side, but that wasn't enough to get him to befriend the likes of you.
Lunch went smoothly for the most part. You laughed and talked with everyone, getting to know each of them on a more personal level. It wasn't much, but you think you all covered a lot of bases just on the first day of knowing each other, and you hoped things would continue like this, minus Heeseung being a bit stand-off-ish.
-
Your first week went rather quickly, and everything was going great, just like it was on the first day you arrived. You got closer to everyone, especially Jake, and you weren't getting lost in the halls as often anymore or running around like a chicken with your head cut off in search of a bathroom, so that was a huge plus.
The only thing that still wasn't so great was heeseung.
Every time you'd come around, he'd find any excuse to remove himself from a conversation or roll his eyes at the mere sight of you, making it impossible for you not to notice that he didn't enjoy your presence at all.
At first, you convinced yourself it was just him being tired, but after three weeks of him being like that with you, you decided to say something to Yeji about her friend because things between you and him were uncomfortable, to say the least, especially when all you were trying to do was get along with everyone. "Is he always like that?" You ask, book bag in hand, as you and Yeji head home from school for the day.
"Is who always like what?" She questions while mindlessly kicking a pebble on the ground once you both exit the building.
"Heeseung," you blurt out, not holding back anymore. "He's quite," you hum in thought, trying to find a way not to offend her or depict Heeseung as a bad guy. "Rude," you add softly.
Her brows raised at the statement, and when you noticed her expression, you grew anxious about her answer because what if she didn't believe you? What if she thinks you're trying to bad mouth her friend for no reason? That wouldn't be a good look for you at all. "He's just shy, but once you get to know him, he's really nice, and lots of people mistake his quietness for rudeness, but he's the complete opposite."
Nodding your head, you pondered her words, but him being quiet wasn't the problem with the two of you, so you pressed a little further, hoping to get answers as to why Heeseung didn't like you. "But it's been nearly a month, and every time I come around, it's like he hates me or something," you pout.
"Hmm, well, I'm sure you two will get along well. Just give him some time." she shrugs it off, and you let it go once again, but you'd be keeping close tabs on his behavior towards you from now on.
-
You and Yeji's friend group were all currently on lunch break, eating in silence until. "Y/n, we're all going to the movies on Saturday. Would you like to come?" Yeonjun tilted his head curiously, awaiting your answer, and he looked so adorable.
"Hmm," you think if you have anything planned this Saturday, but you didn't. Your whole day was totally free. "Sure!"
"Great!" he smiles before returning to the bowl of soup that he had gotten from the school's cafeteria.
You nearly snapped when you heard Heeseung sighing right beside you. Any other time, you'd think you were being paranoid, but you could tell it was directed at you, and to be honest, you were getting fed up with him already.
You shifted in your seat uncomfortably while glaring at him. He turned his head in your opposite direction, unmistakably annoyed by you, and you just couldn't understand why he didn't like you, nor would you ask him about it cause he looked like he'd rather keel over than utter a single word to you.
Unfortunately, you had to be seated next to him, but you scooted as far away from him as possible, and as soon as you did, he did the same thing, creating a noticeable distance between the two of you.
What a petty asshole, you thought. Here he is, making it seem like you were doing something wrong when you were just simply trying to enjoy your lunch with your new friends.
Anyway, you were done with him. He could be annoyed all by himself cause you didn't care what he thought of you anymore, and you didn't care about becoming his friend no matter how many good things Yeji said about him.
You couldn't wrack your brain with his antics.
-
The day of the movie night rolled around, and everyone was already there waiting for you outside the venue.
"Okay, where's y/n?" Jake wonders out loud and checks his phone for a text from you, but he finds none.
Unfortunately, you had been running a bit late thanks to your alarm going off ten minutes past its set time. You must've set it wrong again. You knew you shouldn't have taken that afternoon nap, you got ready as fast as humanly possible to make up for your mistake. You arrived late, obviously, but only by a couple of minutes. "Sorry, I'm late," You smile sheepishly as you stand in front of them outside the venue with an apologetic pout on your face.
"Shouldn't have invited her," Heeseung says under his breath, and you wonder how no one else noticed this bullshit but you, but like you originally planned, you were ignoring him and his stupidity. If he wanted to be childish, he could be that way alone. You weren't going to waste time and energy on him, but it just baffled you how he could be so damn rude to a person he didn't even know.
"No worries, y/n. besides, we probably just missed some previews, no biggie," Jake assures you as you all enter the theater to get your tickets. You each buy your own individual snacks and go into the movie as quickly as possible.
Jake was right. The only thing you missed was the previews, which you were thankful for cause you'd feel bad if you made them miss the opening of the movie because you were late.
You don't know why or how you got stuck next to Heeseung's nasty ass, but somehow you did, and you immediately asked to switch seats or tried to, but before you could, he was pulling you down by your wrist, forcing you to sit next to him. "Stop making a scene," he tells you sternly without looking at you, and you were seething in anger cause what gave him the right to grab you and say you're making a scene when he has been the one making a scene every time he's within twelve feet of you?
You were about to reply, but he leaves you speechless when he reaches his hand in your bucket of popcorn, eating it like it was his, eating it like he paid for it. If he wanted some, why didn't he just buy it like everyone else had? "Wha-"
"Shush, the movie is starting," he quiets you immediately, letting go of your wrist, and feel so helpless cause you wanted to scold him, but you quite literally couldn't unless you took him outside, which at that point would actually be causing a scene, so you just let it go like you've been doing.
Halfway through the movie and, he's still helping himself to the popcorn you had bought for yourself.
You shook your head, reaching for your drink instead cause his hand was in the way of your popcorn, and he just had to reach for it too, causing both your hands to collide at the same time, and next thing you know, the ice cold slushy was falling into your lap you gasped loudly as the red drink seeped into your white shirt.
"Are you a baby or what? Spilling all over yourself, how childish," he tsked and continued watching the movie as you got up silently and went to the bathroom. apparently, everyone was too engrossed in the movie to notice your guy's little scuffle, which was fine cause you didn't want to ruin their night cause you were fighting with heeseung.
Once you reached the bathroom, you cleaned up as much as you could, but your shirt was stained bright red. You all had planned to go to dinner later, but it looked like you'd have to sit this one out cause your clothes were completely ruined.
You went back into the theater and finished watching the movie with the rest of them, and for the most part, you had a good time, minus that fat-headed jerk being next to you the whole time.
After an hour and some minutes, the credits rolled by, and everyone was filtering out of the theater. Once you all got outside, yeji was the first one to notice your shirt. "Oh no, y/n, what happened?" She asked with concern in her eyes, and now you kinda felt embarrassed cause all the attention was suddenly on you.
"I spilled on myself," you mumbled, and they couldn't help but smile at how cute you looked. While telling them what happened you looked just like a little kid that dropped their ice cream.
"Aww," Jake pouts, taking in the stain on your shirt. "You still look pretty, though red is your color," he says, trying to ease your embarrassment, and it definitely helped, you give him a wide smile of appreciation.
Heeseung folded his arms, popping his mouth at the scene. He was silent about the whole thing, which you found pretty funny cause it was his fault why your shirt was ruined, but you're almost glad it was because you didn't want to be around him any longer than you had to, even if it meant you couldn't hang out with your friends.
"Thanks, Jake." You looked down at your feet, blushing slightly. "I think I'll opt out of dinner, guys, so go ahead without me." They all collectively make sounds of disappointment, but you couldn't possibly go out looking like this, and you didn't want to ruin their plans by trying to reschedule. Being late to the movie was already bad enough.
"Thank goodness," Heeseung mumbled loud enough for you to hear and no one else, but you paid him no mind.
"Well, bye, y/n. I'll miss you," Yeonjun says, being a bit dramatic, and you just laughed it off, giving everyone else a hug except Heeseung cause, of course, he wouldn't want a hug from you. "Bye, Jay." you released him from the hug, and you were all ready to head home by your lonesome. Your night ended much sooner than planned, thanks to that giant cockroach that called himself Lee Heeseung. You couldn't believe that loser didn't even say it was his fault why your drink spilled in the first place.
"Wait!" Jay shouts eyes big and wide. "What if we all just have dinner at your place? We can grab the ingredients, and I'll cook. Plus, you can change your shirt, and we can all hang out together as planned?" He suggests.
"That's a great idea!" Karina says excitedly.
"Yeah and then we can have a sleep over!" Jake shouts and gets a smack on the back of his head by sunghoon.
"We don't even have our stuff, you dummy, and besides, we didn't even ask y/n yet." Jake rubs the back of his head, a dejected pout on his face. "Y/n, can we have a sleepover, please?" And how could you even think about saying no when everyone was looking at you with the cutest puppy eyes?
"But didn't you just say we don't have any of our stuf-" Jake immediately gets cut off with another slap to the back of his head.
"Yes, we can have a sleepover. My parents are out of town, but my house is kinda small-" Before you could finish, Jake and Sunghoon were all over you, hugging you way too tight, but you welcomed their gratitude by hugging them back.
"You're crushing her, guys." Jay shakes his head, prying the two boys off you. "Then I guess it's settled dinner and sleepover at y/n's house," Everyone cheered except for Heeseung, which wasn't even surprising to you anymore.
"I'm not going," Heeseung grumbles, drawing everyone's attention from you to him.
"Aww why?" Yeji says going up to him and tugging on the sleeve of his jacket. "You have to come," she pouts. "It won't be the same if everyone isn't coming," she begs.
He sighs, feeling conflicted because he really didn't want to be there with you, but he wanted to be there with his friends. "I don't know. I gotta get up early tomorrow t-"
"Heeseung, don't be a party pooper!" Yeonjun yells, and you can't help the laugh you let out, earning a glare from none other than Heeseung, but you really didn't care.
"It's a sleepover, not a party, you dimwit" You wanted to laugh, but you held it back because the last thing you wanted was to laugh at something Heeseung said.
"Whatever, just are you coming or not?" Jay interrupted the banter.
"Please," Yeji whines, making it impossible for Heeseung to say no, especially cause he knew she was so excited about having everyone together for your guy's first night out as a group.
"Fine," heeseung sighed, knowing he was in for a full night of torture.
-
It's been exactly two months since you moved, and you absolutely loved it. You're so glad your parents decided to move. It was literally the best decision ever. You could now call yejis friends your friends, you learned how to navigate your way around the community, and so far, school was going great. You couldn't ask for more, you were absolutely loving your new life.
Tonight would be the first party you were invited to by none other than your best friend. She said you should enjoy the young adult lifestyle and have fun since, after all, it was the weekend you didn't party much. Actually, you didn't party at all, mainly because you didn't like it but also because you didn't have any friends back home to party with, but now you had a whole group of people you liked and were comfortable with so, you decided to go try new things and see if it was something you'd like to do from now on.
So basically, in short, life couldn't be better right now.
The only problem was heeseung, but you completely gave up on being friends with him cause he was just simply weird, and you weren't going to dwell on it anymore. He got along with everyone else but you, so you didn't make a big fuss about it. Some people just simply aren't compatible, and you understand that, but he could have gone about it nicer nonetheless.
Jake and Heeseung were both walking side by side to their lockers, getting ready to head home for the day. "You're coming to the party right?"
"Hmm who's going?" Heeseung replies, stuffing a good-sized pile of books into his backpack for later use.
"Uhh, everyone?" Jake laughs, a bit confused by Heeseung's response.
If everyone meant you included, then he definitely didn't want to go cause you'd just ignore him whenever he said something and shoot nasty glares his way, and he could really go without that for a day. "I don't know. I have some work I need to get finished over the weekend,"
"Come on, you're already like the smartest person here. What is one party gonna hurt?" Jake says pulling the straps of his backpack on his shoulders as they make their way to the exit together.
"It's not the party. It's who's at the party." he rolled his eyes.
"What do you mean?" Jake says confused cause this was never a problem for Heeseung before. He didn't frequent parties as much as the others, but he also never complained about who would be at said party until today.
"It's nothing."
"Come on, just tell me," Jake pries for answers.
"Okay, but don't tell anyone." Jake immediately nods his head, assuring Heeseung that his secret is safe with him. "So you know yejis friend, right? y/n or whatever her name is," Jake nods again, but there's a confused expression slowly growing on his face as he wonders where Heeseung is going with this. "She like has issues with me for some reason, and I don't like being around her," he whispers.
"What?!" Jake says, surprised. "She literally gets along with everyone. What do you mean?"
"Everyone except me," Heeseung scoffs. "I don't care. It's just I don't understand why she feels the need to display it all the time. I don't even get why yejis friends with her, to be honest."
"Look, man, I don't know what you're talking about. She's great to me, and she fits in our group well, the perfect new addition." Jake nodded to himself.
"The perfect new annoying addition there, I fixed it for you," heeseung replies, and as they get further down the hall, he spots you and Jay laughing and talking with each other. "Speak of the devil" he rolls his eyes.
"So I take it you're not coming then?" Jake asked, disappointment evident in his tone as he waved at you and Jay in the distance with a smile on his face.
"You take it correct" he followed Jake's movements, waving to Jay only cause he couldn't care less about greeting you.
"Just give her a chance. I think you're misjudging her," heeseung hears Jake but doesn't respond simply because he knows if he did try to get closer to you, you wouldn't give him the time of day.
"Hey, me and y/n were just about to go eat. Do you wanna come with?" Jay asked once they got in speaking range.
"Busy," Heeseung replies immediately cause there's no way he could keep his food down if he had to see your face the whole time.
"Okay, you?" Jay asked Jake.
"I'm always down to eat." You smiled, happy to have more company, and thank goodness Heeseung was not going because you literally couldn't stand him.
"On second thought, I'll tag along." Heeseung looked at you, a smirk on his face, and you don't know why, but it made you feel nervous cause he rarely even acknowledged you.
"Thought you were busy." Jay leads the way for the small group of four outside the gates and heads to the restaurant just a couple minutes away.
"Ehh, it can wait," Heeseung shrugs.
-
Arriving at the restaurant ten minutes later, you all take your seats, ordering the food you want and waiting for it to be served. "This feels weird with just the four of us," Jay commented. Usually, everyone would go out together to eat, but not today.
"It does," you pout. "Too bad they couldn't come."
"Hey, it's their fault for not studying harder, and now you pay the price cooped in your room catching up on work when you could be eating a delicious meal," Jake jokes, and you giggle softly. "Couldn't be me"
Heeseung sighs and pulls out his phone to ignore the annoying sounds of your laughter. He didn't know why you felt the need to run around fake-laughing at nearly everything Jake said. Hell, Jake could breathe, and you'd laugh, but far be it from him to make a joke. You'd just go silent, for fuck sake, anyone could make a joke, and you laugh at everyone except him.
He doesn't know why everyone was so blind to it. You were just trying to be the nice "it" girl where everything you did was cute and funny, and you were the life of the party, and everything was fucking sunshine and stupid ass rainbows; meanwhile, you were treating him like shit.
While eating, you all struck up a conversation, and Heeseung knew he wasn't being ignored. He just didn't have much knowledge of said topic, but he was still upset because even when he was the center of a conversation, you still never listened to him the way you were listening so intently to Jake and Jay.
Feeling left out, he discreetly slid his cup of iced coffee to the center of the table. Last time he did that, you gave him a little attention, so why not do it again? Once it was exactly where he wanted it to be, he "accidentally" knocked it over, causing you to get drenched in the ice cold beverage.
You gasped in shock the cold making little goosebumps form all over your skin. "Oh my gosh are you alright?" Jay asked and grabbed some tissues off the table and handed them to you to clean your shirt.
"Yeah, I'm fine, just cold," you laugh awkwardly as you wipe the coffee off of your clothes. You could have sworn you saw Heeseung smiling, and at this point, it wouldn't surprise you if he did it on purpose. You shook your head at him and continued to pat yourself dry.
Jake glared at heeseung as he heard him chuckling softly. "So immature," he scoffed, and Heeseung shrugged his shoulders, not really caring about what Jake had to say. "Would you like to go to the restroom? I have a spare shirt and joggers in my bag that I didn't use for practice. Maybe it'll fit?" Jake offers.
You looked down at your soaked clothing, and you didn't really have much of an option. "Thanks, Jake." You got up from the table, glaring at Heeseung once last time.
"Dude, you could have at least apologized for spilling your drink," Jay said once you both left the table.
"Sure, she liked the attention." Heeseung stood up and snatched his bag, deciding to just go home. He didn't even know why he was so angry. He just was.
Jay's brows furrowed in confusion, and heeseung was gone. Before he could question it, he just brushed it off and finished eating his pasta while waiting for you and Jake to come back.
When the two of you both came back, you noticed a certain someone wasn't there anymore, and you felt relieved.
"Where's heeseung?" Jake wonders.
"He just dipped." when you heard that, it made your blood boil, and it wasn't rocket science to put together why he came to lunch with you guys, to begin with. Was he really that sick in the head to ruin your lunch with your friends just cause he didn't like you?
That was your last straw. From now on, you wouldn't even look at him or try to greet him. He was a nasty jerk, and you're glad he didn't want anything to do with you cause you didn't want anything to do with him either.
-
Later that night, you got ready for the party, ignoring the earlier half of your day. You hoped you'd have fun tonight, and it'd make up for the crap you had to put up with at lunch today.
You dressed in something casual, putting on your favorite perfume and adding a little bit of jewelry, and though your look was pretty basic, you couldn't lie. You still looked really good in it. You checked yourself out in the wall-length mirror one last time and were confident in your outfit choice.
You walked out the front door and got into Yeonjun's car since apparently it was his turn to be the driver, or so you were told.
"You look beautiful, y/n," Yeji compliments you, giving you an even bigger confidence boost.
"So do you," you reply, loving the half-cut black dress she wore. It had gold accents on it, which made her look even more stunning, especially with her matching black heels.
"Oh, this is nothing," she humbly waved you off while you buckled yourself in.
"That's definitely something," Yeonjun piped up from the front seat, looking at Yeji in the rearview mirror with a slight smirk on his lips.
She smiled and looked down at her lap, blushing from his compliment, and you couldn't help but smile at the two.
-
When you three arrived, everyone else was already at the party. Apparently, yeonjun dropped them off along the way. You looked around, seeing everyone enjoying themselves. You greeted each of them one by one, except Heeseung. Of course, to be honest, you kinda even forgot he was part of your friend group. That's just how much you didn't think about him after that bullshit he pulled today.
You complimented each of your friends. Karina especially looked beautiful. Jake Sunghoon and Jay were also extremely handsome, as well as Yeonjun, but unfortunately, one person stood out to you the most, and as much as you tried not to look at him, you couldn't help it, your eyes were glued in his direction.
Heeseung looked so tall and slender. His hair was quaffed to perfection, his dangle earrings just pieced everything together so perfectly, and you were sure he'd smelled just as amazing as he looked in that all-black outfit. You just wished he wasn't such a dick. Otherwise, he'd be literally everything you looked for in a guy visually, anyways.
Heeseung originally wasn't even going to come to the party, but since you were avoiding him like the plague after the incident at the restaurant today, he changed his mind. Plus, Jake wouldn't stop begging him to go.
"Earth to y/n." Karina waved her hand in your face, and you snapped out of it, focusing your gaze on her instead of heeseung.
"O-oh hi," you stutter, and your cheeks immediately heat up, feeling embarrassed that you just got caught ogling your best friend's friend.
"See something, or should I say someone you like?" She teased, and you just playfully pushed her shoulder.
"No," she looks at you, obviously not convinced.
"Okay, fine." You pointed to the guy that was standing next to Heeseung, diverting her from thinking you were looking at him. The last thing you wanted was for your friends or Heeseung to think you liked him cause you didn't. He was just pretty, and that's all.
"Oh, that's Jeongin. Should I introduce you two?" She wiggles her brows with a playful smile.
"No, it's-"she cuts you off and takes your hand, leading you over to the two.
"Hi, jeongin," she giggles. Obviously, she had been drinking earlier from her seemingly carefree demeanor. "This is our new friend, y/n. Isn't she beautiful?" Your eyes slightly widened, and you smiled, trying to look as normal as possible despite Karina putting you on the spot.
He looks surprised upon seeing you both, and he smiles at you, showing one of the brightest smiles you ever saw but still nowhere near as bright as Jake's. "Very beautiful, beautiful name for a beautiful lady." he extends his hand for you to shake, and you do, shaking it gently as you give him a warm smile.
Heeseung looked at your touching hands, and it made him scoff because you didn't shake his hand when you first met him, not that he cared, but still. "I'm going to get another drink," he says rudely, leaving you three alone without saying hi to you.
Once Karina introduced the two of you, she left you both alone, probably thinking she was playing matchmaker or something, but you had zero interest in jeongin. You just made up a quick lie so you wouldn't be caught gawking at Heeseung, but he was really nice. You talked to him a bit more, telling him when you first got here and how you transferred. "How come I haven't seen you around?" You ask to keep the conversation going, and he goes on to tell you about him attending another school, but he comes to parties to catch up with Heeseung and some of his other friends.
Somewhere along the line, Jake and Sunghoon joined the conversation, and you all talked amongst yourselves about anything that came up in conversation.
You took a Quick Look around, and Karina was with some guy you had never seen before yeji was all hugged up with yeonjun, which explains why he was acting all flirty earlier, and now that you think about it, it wasn't really surprising since their interaction in the car plus she told you previously she had a crush on one of her guy friends so you assumed it was him.
You're not sure where heeseung went off to, and you made the mistake of surveying the area further, and you quickly found him he was all alone off in the corner with a cup in his hand, and you kinda felt bad about taking his friend away from him so you politely excused yourself to the bathroom so jeongin and him could finish catching up at some point tonight.
While you were freshening up in the bathroom, a few minutes later, you heard loud screams coming from the living room and people cheering and chanting chug chug chug you shook your head softly, wondering what was so fun about chugging beer.
Once you dried your hands off, you exited the bathroom to see what all the fuss was about. You weren't even five feet into the living room before people started shouting at you. "Chug, chug, chug!" You smile and shake your head, immediately declining, that is, until all your friends appear out of nowhere and start cheering you on too.
"Y/n! y/n! y/n!" Heeseung supposed it was fate you coming in and ruining his fun. He was the one that had previously shotgunned his beer, and everyone was cheering for him. That's until you came along.
Not only did you have to take his friend away from him, you had to take his moment away, too. When was it ever going to be good enough for you?
You quickly gave in to all the cheers and did something you never thought you'd do.
You poked a hole in the beer can, popping the cap open and chugging till all the beer was completely gone. Loud screams erupted from everyone, and seconds later, Jake threw you over his shoulder in excitement as everyone jumped up and down excitedly from your amazing chug, excluding Heeseung.
You tapped Jake on his back, telling him to set you down before you threw up everything you just drank. "Oh, sorry, I was just excited," he apologizes cutely.
"It's okay" you say and pat his shoulder to reassure him while trying to catch your breath. "I didn't think I could do that," you laugh, feeling a slight buzz in your head as everyone jumped to the music and cheered you on.
"Me neither," he chuckled in amazement. "Only heeseung can do that."
You forced a smile on your face upon hearing his name. You also heard a series of cheers, people muttering how someone so innocent-looking could drink so much, and other people talking about how they envied you and how cool you were.
Heeseung was at his rope's end, and he couldn't take it anymore. He approached you with a soft smile on his face, and for once, you actually thought he might have said something nice to you since everyone else was, but boy, you were so wrong. "Good job," he says sarcastically while dumping his full can of beer all over your head, ruining your dress for the second time today. He throws his can on the ground, leaving everyone stunned and speechless by his petty actions. He slams the door on his way out of the party, seething in anger.
Your friends all rushed to comfort them, but you ran off to the bathroom, completely and utterly embarrassed and hurt by the fact he'd do something so drastic. What have you ever done to him to get treated this way? Everything else up to this point was somewhat tolerable, but this was your breaking point. You just wanted to have a little fun, but apparently, that was impossible. Whenever Lee Heeseung was around, you cleaned up the sticky mess as much as you could, but you weren't going to stay at the party cause your night was ruined.
Ten minutes later, you came out. Jake and Yeji were waiting outside for you, and you told them you didn't want to talk about it and you just wanted to go home. "Sorry for ruining your night" you apologized.
"No need, and don't worry, I'll talk to Heeseung. I don't know why he'd do that. He's never acted like that before ever," she says, obviously confused.
You nod your head. You really don't care anymore. You just hoped from now on, he'd leave you alone once and for all.
-
"I was just drunk," heeseung pleads his case to Yeji, who was on his ass about last night. "I thought it might be funny" he lied through his teeth.
"That's not an excuse for what you did, and why would that be funny anyway?" She inquired.
"Fine, I'll do it," he agreed instead of telling her the real reason behind his actions. How could he tell her without sounding completely crazy? "But I was drunk. I just-"
"You had two beers!" Yeji yelled at heeseung and he shut his mouth real quick. "If you're not gonna tell me, just go apologize and stop wasting my time," she dismissed.
He whined and trudge over to where you were sitting all alone in the school library. "C-can I sit?" He stutters nervously.
"You do everything else you want, so I don't see why not," you answer coldly, but you don't care how rude you sound. He didn't deserve your kindness after all the shit he pulled yesterday.
"Whatever, I'm sorry for the other night," he said emotionlessly, not bothering to sit down.
You hummed in acknowledgment, and little did you know that he just ground his fucking gears cause even though he was talking to you and he was the only one around, you still weren't paying attention to him. Was he really just invisible to you? "I said" he closed the book you were looking at, forcing you to look up at him instead. "I'm sorry"
"Okay, what do you want me to do celebrate? Do a back flip?" He shook his head sighing deeply in frustration.
"You could at least fucking pay attention to me. Not everything is always about you, you know?" He agitatedly folded his arms.
"Oh, so that's what this is about. You're just upset 'cause you don't have my attention." You were just playing around with him, but little did you know you hit the nail right on the head.
"N-no, I'm not." his expression falters a bit.
You gasped like you had just made a world-changing discovery. "Hmm, mm, so is that why you're always spilling drinks on me? Embarrassing me so I can pay attention to you?"
"I seriously couldn't care less at all. I just came to apologize 'cause yeji forced me too," he huffs.
"You must care enough to always try and humiliate me.” he stared at you, saying absolutely nothing. "And why are you still standing there?" You question.
"Because you weren't paying atten-” he stops himself before he can finish, his eyes widening when he realizes what he was just about to say. "Just never mind. I don't care if you accept it or not. Just stay away from me.
"Last time I checked, it was you not staying away from me, Mr. I accidentally spilled my coffee," you say with finger quotes. Normally, you would have just accepted the apology and moved on, but you didn't cause he was just a flat-out asshole.
He wordlessly turns his back and walks away. You watch his figure slowly getting further away and shake your head, trying to understand what the heck is wrong with the enigma named Lee Heeseung.
"Did you do it?" Yeji asks when she sees Heeseung walking out of the library. His ears were tinted pink with embarrassment.
"Y-yes," he managed to squeak out in passing, going straight for the men's room so he could wash his face with cold water after embarrassing himself like that.
-
Since then, you and Heeseung hadn't come in contact with each other, safely managing to keep your distance, but that didn't stop you from getting your revenge and being petty as hell.
Whenever Heeseung would talk, you'd purposely interrupt him, taking the attention from him to you, and you didn't miss the annoyed glares he sent your way.
You'd always add in little rude comments under your breath or chuckle whenever he expressed interest in anything.
You admit you probably took things too far, but that's what he gets for not spilling one but three drinks on you, or at least you were convinced all those other times were on purpose.
You were attending another party cause you enjoyed last time minus beer being poured over your head and going home a sticky mess.
Of course, after getting settled in and having a few drinks, you just had to annoy heeseung. It was your daily mission to annoy him at least once a day and give him just a taste of his own medicine. You were already a bit tipsy, so the timing was perfect to say something reckless and not care by the end of the night, especially when you just saw him getting rejected for the second time tonight. Little did you know he was the one doing the rejecting. "Aww, poor little thing," you teased. "He's not getting any attention." You stood next to him in the kitchen, pouring yourself another drink.
He rolled his eyes and grabbed another beer, not in the mood for your bullshit. You'd been getting on his nerves a little too much lately. "Go away," he mumbled.
"Why? Aren't I giving you the attention that you crave?" You giggle, and he looks at you with that same agitation that he always had on his face whenever you were around. "Why the long face, baby?" You're blaming the alcohol for that one, but you can't lie. The shocked look on his face when you called him baby was actually so adorable.
"G-get out of here," he lightly nudged your shoulder with his elbow.
You continued teasing him, seeing just how far you could get under his skin. "Since I'm the only girl giving you attention, why not just take me home?"
"As if, I wouldn't touch you if you were the last girl on earth," he starts nervously gulping down his drink, hoping you wouldn't notice how flustered you were making him right now.
"Come on, it's just one night after all." You trail your hand up his forearm, taunting him.
"Y/n, are you being serious?" He gulped while looking at your hand, which was now slowly making its way towards his pec, and exhaled a shaky breath.
"Hmm," you hum, a seductive smile on your lips as you slip your hand inside his black button-up, brushing your hand over his nipple and sending shivers down his spine. "What do you say?"
"For real? Like right now?" He whispers and bites his lip, eyes already lidded with arousal.
This was the part where you were supposed to burst out laughing and tease him for being easy, but something in the way he looked at you made you fold. He made you fold so hard that nothing else mattered at this moment besides him taking you back to his place. "Yes," you say almost immediately, your fingers playing with the hardened bud under his shirt. You're not quite sure, but you could have sworn you heard him moan.
You probably should have said no, actually erase the probably you should have said no, but it's just one night and with the most attractive man you've ever seen, so you weren't going to pass this opportunity up even if it was a very stupid thing to do.
"Okay," he whispers, grabbing the hand that was inside his shirt and leading you out of the party, both of you praying none of your friends would see you leaving with your enemy.
Surprisingly, he opens his car door for you, making sure you're seated properly before closing the door and jogging over to the driver's side.
He starts the engine and puts his free hand on your thigh. His cold fingers on your bare skin made your body tingle with excitement. "I'm only doing this cause there's no one el-
"Save it, heeseung." You place his hand higher up your dress. He clenches his jaw when he feels the heat forming between your legs, trying to compose himself and safely get to his apartment.
"Hey, just letting you know you're not my first choice," he defends. You roll your eyes. You already know he was doing it cause you were the only girl available to him, not cause he actually liked you or was interested.
"Good to know." The rest of the drive is silent, but the mood is rising as he teases his fingertips along your panties, which have started to dampen.
"Hmm," you moan softly, head drifting back as he toys with your sensitive clit. You grip his wrist, lifting your hips to meet his palm and desperately rubbing yourself against his fingers.
"Fuck” he says under his breath, and he may or may not have hit the gas a little harder when he felt how sticky you had gotten down there.
His apartment was only like ten more minutes away, but it felt like ten hours with the way his cock was leaking and straining in his jeans.
Finally, he arrived, parking crookedly in the driveway cause he was starting to get extremely impatient.
He leads the way to his apartment, fumbling with his keys at the door, and you place your hand over his shaky one. Once you see him struggling, you guide the key straight into the hole and unlock it. He turns to look at you, silently thanking you as he opens the door and flicks the light on.
He quickly removed his shoes, and you followed suit, easily slipping off your flats, and a second barely passed before he picked you up like you weighed nothing and gently laid you down on his bed that was right around the corner.
You couldn't even get a good look at his apartment cause he was already straddling your lower body and unbuttoning his shirt above you.
Immediately, your gaze falls upon his lean torso, your eyes going lower to the prominent tent in his pants, and you impatiently rub your legs together at the sight. You could obviously see his size was above average.
He smiles to himself from your reaction, hands trailing up your thighs, kneading the soft flesh with his fingers, getting closer and closer to your core. Your breath hitches when he traces over your clit, after a few teasing touches to the sensitive bead. He retracts his hands. Your skirt had risen up enough for him to see the wet patch forming on your lavender panties, and the sight alone made his cock twitch in his jeans.
He bends down for a brief moment, resting his hands beside your head and pecking you one time on the lips. His body slithered down the bed until his face was just mere inches away from meeting your core. "So wet," he whispers and presses his lips on the wet spot, inhaling your scent.
"Hee," You arch your back legs, spreading them open for him as you absentmindedly give him the nickname. He looks up at you, eyebrows raised in amusement as you grip the sheets in pleasure.
"Yeah? Say my name again, baby." Much like you, the simple yet endearing pet name mindlessly leaves his lips as he sticks his tongue out, licking you over your panties.
"Hmm, hee." You moan his name. The feeling of his tongue teasing you through your clothes was already more than you could handle.
"Can I take these off?" He lightly tugs your skirt up a little more, his fingertips resting on the waistband of your underwear, waiting to go any further until you give him your permission.
"You're such a gentleman," you tease.
He rolls his eyes. "Is this okay?" He began carefully dragging your panties down, the air in his apartment, hitting your bare core.
“Yes, take them off, please.” You breathe out as your eyes slowly fall shut. He slides them all the way down to your ankles, leaning back and resting on his knees while lifting your leg to fully remove the lacy material. Your panties fall on the bed, leaving your lower half completely naked as he tilts his head sideways and kisses your ankle while gazing at you.
He groans at the sight of your bare pussy, simultaneously sticking out his tongue, licking from the heel of your foot to the base, and your eyes shoot open from the sensation it was unlike anything you’ve ever experienced before.
“So pretty,” he says low enough to where you can’t hear him and parts his lips taking your middle toe into his mouth, sucking on it sensually, and you couldn’t deny it was turning you on more than you’d like to admit.
He caressed your leg with his fingertips sucking just a little harsher drawing out the most sensual moans from you. He hummed, releasing your toe with a soft pop, slowly laying your leg down on the bed as the tip of your toes brushed across his broad chest before your leg met the mattress.
You were already breathing heavily even though he’d barely done anything to you yet, and you knew the moment he lays between your legs, you wouldn’t be able to control yourself.
He lays back down between your legs, hands moving to your thighs to spread you open as he licked your inner folds up and down, tasting your sweet liquid on his tongue. “So good” he squeezed your thighs, swallowing down your essence as his nose tickled your clit.
He guides his right hand to your entrance and presses his fingers against your hole, easily pushing inside cause how wet and relaxed you are. He hums lowly as your walls tense up on his fingers. “You like that, huh?” He whispers warm breath fanning your pussy as he sensually nudges his nose on your clit and then sucks it into his mouth, enjoying the little sounds of pleasure that you make for him.
“Oh yes,” you looked between your legs, watching the way he fingers your soaked pussy. Every time his fingers go in, they are coated in a new thick layer of arousal, making the lewdest sounds possible between your legs.
He looked so good eating you out. The way he’d eye you from time to time as he hit your spot made your eyes roll back in your head, and your legs shake uncontrollably.
The lewd groans that passed his wet swollen lips vibrated against your pussy, and you couldn’t help but cum on his fingers and tongue. It had only been three minutes if that, but you couldn’t hold it in. He was working his fingers inside you like magic. “Oh hee hmph fuck!” You breathe out, panting as your walls spasm around his digits, and you cum without warning.
“Yes, baby cum in my mouth just like that,” he whispers as you buck your hips on his digits while he guides you through your state of bliss, gently sucking your delicate clit.
You instinctively clamp your legs close well as much as you can, with him being between them. He rubs over your mound, kissing your thighs until your orgasm fades away, and it is quite possibly the best one you’ve ever had.
He sat up, licking the remnants of you off his lips while undoing his jeans, the top of his Calvin’s peeking over the waistband of his pants as he slowly lowered them around his knees.
You propped yourself up, your face inches away from his crotch as you looked up at him through your lashes, your eyes wide and innocent looking as you experimentally placed your hand over his cock, your touch so soft and light that if he wasn’t so sensitive down there, he wouldn’t have even felt it.
He groaned softly, brows knitted together from your slight touch.
You caressed his shaft over the material of his underwear while circling his waist with your arm, bringing his body closer to yours.
You kissed the outline of his cock, easily finding the tip through the thin fabric of his boxers and pressing your warm lips against it. “Ahh,” he hisses and places his hand on the back of your head, stroking it softly.
The hand around his waist drops to his thigh, squeezing softly as you place wet kisses all over his twitching dick. “Tease much?” He chuckled through a moan, his head drifting to the side as he watched your lips pressing softly against his hard-on.
You froze at his words. You weren’t intentionally teasing him. You were just scared to make the next move. “I-I’ve never,” you trail off shyly, silently praying he’d get what you were insinuating.
“Really?!” He sounds like he’s shocked, and you don’t know if that’s a bad or good thing, but you take it as good and move on. “I mean, we can skip this part if it makes you uncomfortable, baby.” he looks down at you, stroking your cheek with his thumb softly.
You shook your head back and forth cause you wanted to go down on him the same way he did for you and return the favor.
“No? Okay,” he’d be lying if he said he didn’t want it, but he’d never push for it if it made you feel apprehensive in any way.
“N-no, I want to. I just,” you sighed from your inexperience, feeling a little embarrassed and disappointed with yourself for your lack of knowledge about this. “Can you show me how?”
“You want me to show you how I like it?” You nod immediately after his question, and he hops off the bed, lowering his pants all the way and taking them off. He reaches into his bedside drawer, grabbing a condom, and placing it on his nightstand for later use.
He took your spot on the bed, lying against the frame, feeling honored that you’re letting him be your first. “Come here,” he beckons you closer with his index and middle finger. You crawled next to him, and he placed his hand on your lower back, bringing you in for a quick make-out session to ease you into it, and he was a really good kisser. You were already aching for him just from the feeling of his tongue playing with yours.
He pulled away, leaving you wanting more, with a look of desire in his eyes. His lips were shiny with a mix of his and your spit, and you settled yourself between his legs, your hands shaking slightly as you pulled his hard cock out from the confines of his underwear. He was hot and pulsing to the touch, and the lamp on his nightstand highlighted the head of his cock that was shining with precum. “Go at your own pace, baby,” he says softly when he notices the slight nervous look in your eyes, and his words almost immediately calm you down. He leaned back a little and rested his arms behind his head, getting comfortable as you slowly stroked his dick up and down. “Yeah, just like that,” he whispers and closes his eyes, letting you do what you’re comfortable with.
You unknowingly lick your lips at the sight, mouth almost dripping saliva. As your body reacted on its own, you lowered your head and eagerly suckled the precum off his tip.
His body tensed from the sudden sensation, and when you heard him groan, you quickly halted your movements.
“Sorry,” you say sheepishly and just above a whisper.
“No, no, I liked that,” he assures you and places his hand over yours, helping you get used to the motion of stroking him off. “Suck on it some more,” he says as he gets comfortable once again.
You repeated your actions, wrapping your lips around his wide cock head where more precum was already leaking out.
“Hmm yeah fuck” he closed his eyes, head tilting back as you sucked him off. “Sure this is your first?”
You hum in response, your mouth obviously too busy with his hard wet cock to respond with your words.
“Shit, your fucking mouth feels so good, baby. Don’t even gotta teach you,” he says, and that just makes you take him down your throat, eager to impress him more. “Oh fuck!” He whimpers and looks down at his dick buried almost balls deep in your mouth. “Y/n,” he moans your name weakly, and you swear your pussy dripped at just the sound of his pleasured voice.
You stroked the base of his cock, squeezing slightly as you swirled your tongue on the tip licking up the fresh precum that continued to seep out.
His hips jerked up off the bed, abs tensing as you hollowed your cheeks and lodged his tip in the back of your throat. It was so tight and so warm that he couldn’t hold off from cumming. “Keep sucking me, baby. I'm so close fuck, where do you want it?” He squirmed in the bed, staving off as long as possible before he came.
You only make a sound of approval, the pace of your movements naturally increasing the more vocal he gets, and soon he was moaning out so loud as warm spurts of cum gushed inside your mouth and coated your tongue. “Hmph,” you moan around his dick, eyes rolling back to the back of your head as his cum streamed down your throat.
“Fuck yes,” he pants, his cum still filling your mouth, and he tasted so good you swallowed every single drop for his and your pleasure before you pulled off of his throbbing dick, still stroking him through his high until he was finished in your mouth.
He was breathing heavily. Mouth parted just enough for whiny little moans to slip out. “Fuck me,” he huffs as you pull away, kissing his tip one last time. “That felt so good,” he says, voice still a little hoarse from moaning so loudly.
His eyes were lidded, his forehead covered in sweat as he reached for the condom on the nightstand, carefully opening the package.
You eyed the condom packet, not all too excited about using one cause you wanted to feel him raw, completely bare, nothing but the feeling of him deep inside of you.
He placed the rubber on his tip and began to slide it down his shaft, but you interrupted him before he could get it on. “No condom,” you whisper, taking it from his hands and tossing it to the floor.
“You wanna do it raw?” He asked to make sure it was what you really wanted, and you nodded, placing a few soft kisses on his thighs. If you were okay with it, so was he. He’d be an absolute idiot to say no to feeling you raw. “Okay, then, pretty girl, lie down for me, yeah?” You lie down, and he gripped the top of your dress, easily sliding it up your body. Pleasantly surprised when he saw you braless, he bit his lip at the sight of your perfect breasts and dragged the material all the way off your body, leaving you completely naked as he maneuvers on his bed, kicking off his boxers before laying on top of you both your clothes now discarded and strewn across his bedroom floor.
He lined himself up with you perfectly, slowly rubbing himself on your pussy, wetting his cock in your essence as your lips came together in a messy kiss.
He hums into your mouth, fully indulging in the way you suck on his bottom lip, and nibble on it slightly.
You wrapped your legs around his waist, hands on his pecs as he rolled his hips, pressing his tip on your hole. He looks at you for confirmation, when you nod and whisper a quiet yes. He immediately slips in, his tip dipping inside your little wet hole. He takes it nice and slow, filling you up inch by pleasuring inch, easing himself within your heat until he bottomed out and stuffed you perfectly with his thickness. “So f-full heeseung,” you breathe out, your legs feeling numb already, and he hasn’t even moved yet.
He gripped your thighs, slowly bucking his hips forward, giving you time to get used to the feeling of him stroking inside you. “Fuck you’re so wet” his length throbs inside you, and he could feel he was already so close to cumming your walls, so hot and slick, welcoming him in with no resistance.
You squirm in his bed, still getting used to his size, as he rolls his hips steadily.
He bites his lip and hikes your legs up to your chest, pushing them up with his palms so you can feel him deeper on this angle. The way you gasp from the intrusion makes his cock throb even harder, and he can’t help but feel good knowing he’s the one making you feel so much pleasure. “This feel okay?” He asks with a shaky breath, making sure you’re still feeling good and comfortable. Too bad he wasn’t like this with you outside of the bedroom cause if he was, you’re sure you would have fallen for him by now.
“Perfect, hee” his abs and v lines looked so good while he rocked his hips fucking his cock deeper and deeper into your wet cunt.
He takes your ankle in his hand once again, bringing your foot to his mouth so he can suck on your pretty toes while fucking your sweet pussy. His eyes fall shut, moaning in delight as he partakes in every square inch of your body.
“Oh god,” you whimper pussy tightly squeezing around him from the pleasure.
You locked eyes with him, and you could’ve cum from his stare alone. You never thought it would be so hot to fuck someone that you were at odds with.
You trailed your hands along his sides until they met his sweaty chest, and you gave into temptation pinching his hard nipples between your fingers as he pounded your cunt, going even faster with the added stimulation of your fingers.
He moans around your toes, eyes rolling to the back of his head as he drills your cunt his thighs slapping against yours and his balls hitting your ass with every rough slam of his hips.
Drool pools in his mouth, as his head craned to the side, and it was getting to be just too much for him to handle. He felt himself twitching within your warmth, knowing he was seconds away from his breaking point. “Shit,” he pulled away from your toes a bit reluctantly and lowered himself down on his elbows as he stroked your silky wet walls. “Baby?” He breathes out quickly, feeling closer and closer with every hot pulse of your perfect pussy. “where should I cum?” He whines and rests his forehead against yours.
You wrapped your arms around him, fingernails digging into his upper back as he bottoms out over and over again.
He reaches his hand down, thumb flicking your engorged clit. “Cum in me, heeseung, please,” you begged him, desperately wanting nothing more than to cum around his cock and have him fill you up to the brim.
“Want me to cum in it, yeah? Fill that little pussy, huh? Stuff you full of me?” He groans, the dirty talk going straight to his sensitive dick, and all it takes for him to cum is the sound of your pleading voice.
“Yes, yes, yes,” you chant with your lips pursed in pleasure. A few more deep strokes, and you both reach the end as he circles your clit you and him finishing right at the same time. “Hee, I’m coming,” you cry out, and he attacks your lips, muffling your noises with his hot, messy kisses.
“Me too, baby,” he pants while moaning into your mouth. The two of you are barely even kissing at this point, just exchanging saliva and heavy breaths as he fills you up and your walls milk him for every last ounce of his creamy cum.
The pulsations between your body reach their peak, and you both sigh in pleasure, low whines leaving your lips as the sensitivity starts to settle in. He slows his pace, stroking you through your orgasm, his fingers slowing as well, careful not to over-stimulate you. “Oh, y/n, you feel so good, I’m cumming so much,” he whispers in your mouth, still messily kissing you in between broken words.
“Hee,” You placed your hands on his butt pulling him closer to you, making him fill you up to the absolute brim with his cock and cum.
He breaks the kiss, face falling into the crook of your neck as you both try to catch your breaths.
You both laid their pupils dilated and bodies shaking, feeling numb from the euphoria overtaking your mind, body, and senses.
“Shit,” heeseung sighs as he slowly pulls out of you, watching your clenching hole drip his release and if it wasn’t the most beautiful sight to him.
He rolls over on his back, staring up at the ceiling for a few moments. “That was actually so amazing,” he chuckled to himself.
“Actually?” You scoffed, and just like that, he was back to his assholish self, not to say you cared. The sex was great, and that’s all tonight was about anyways, not your guy's beef or his shitty attitude. “It wasn’t too bad,” you reply, and now it’s his turn to look at you and scoff.
“What do you mean “not too bad?” you shrugged.
“It means what I said.” he shakes his head in disbelief, wondering why you had to put up a front when you obviously enjoyed it, but whatever.
“Should I drive yo-” Before he could finish, you were already on top of him, straddling his waist.
“I think you should fuck me again,” you smirk, feeling bold suddenly as you trail a finger down his chest to his abs.
He grabbed your waist easily, flipping you over on your back and getting on top of you, pressing his lips on yours. “You sure it was just “not bad?” He says against your lips, teasing you with his words.
“I might need a little refresher,” you said playfully, and he laughed, reconnecting his lips with yours.
Let’s just say you made a personal record of how many times you both made each other cum that night.
-
You woke up in Heeseung’s bed, the light shining from behind his white sheer curtains blinding your eyes. You immediately closed them, grabbing the sheets and covering up. You groaned softly as you stretched out, all the events from last night rushing through your mind, and you didn’t regret not one bit of it.
Heeseung naturally woke up from the unusual ruckus, rolling over on his side and seeing you lying in bed next to him.
He rubs the sleep from his eyes, muscles aching from how much energy he exerted on your body last night. He might have gone a little longer than he should have, but it was so worth it. Your pussy was like heaven even when he went soft, he couldn’t help but get hard again and again, and again you and your body were just too fucking perfect for him to sto-
“Eww,” you say upon seeing his sleepy face. It was the furthest thing from Eww, he looked even more handsome in the morning, but you said it just to annoy him.
He sighs, deciding not to fight with you this early, and sits up, blinking the sleep away from his eyes as they fall on his nightstand clock. Needless to say, you were both already running late for class. “Shit, we’re gonna be late,” he groans and extends his arms stretching out his muscles while yawning.
Your eyes widened, and you quickly ripped off the sheets, springing out of his bed, hoping you wouldn’t be tardy after only being there for a short period of time.
Heeseung did the same, neither of you caring about the other. Seeing your naked body, you saw literally every single inch of each other last night from probably every angle, so it didn’t much matter.
You both haphazardly threw on your clothes, trying your absolute best to arrive on time. “I have a spare toothbrush in the bathroom,” he mentions, sleep still in his eyes as he pulls up his pants, and you quickly run to the bathroom before him to relieve yourself.
He shook his head in disbelief that you automatically helped yourself to his bathroom, but he was too tired to give you a piece of his mind.
You quickly swung the door open when you finished, and Heeseung joined you soon after, standing beside you. You couldn’t help but blush from all the marks you left all over his chest last night.
Luckily, he was too occupied washing his face to notice your obvious stare, and you’re thankful for it.
You both brushed your teeth in silence, heeseung squeezing a dollop of toothpaste on the toothbrush he gave to you, and you’re sure he’s just tired, and that’s why he did that cause the heeseung you know, would never do anything nice for you if anything he probably would have squirted it all over your head knowing him.
Once his teeth were all clean, he slathered some deodorant under his armpits and sprayed some cologne. You couldn’t blame him for not taking a shower, though, cause if he did, then he’d definitely be late, which in turn would make you late cause he was your ride, and you couldn’t have that happening.
After you both somewhat put yourselves together, you left his appartment getting into his car, and making a quick pit stop to your house on the way there to get your supplies. Then, after that you were headed to your destination.
Heeseung soon pulled up to the front of the school to drop you off first, and you unbuckled your belt, quickly exiting his car. “Don’t follow me inside” you point your finger at him and he rolls his eyes.
“I wouldn’t want to be caught dead next to you,” he replies harshly as you slam his door shut. He shook his head in disbelief and found a parking space after dropping you off at the door.
As soon as you enter, you see your group of friends waiting for you both at the gate. You went to them first, and Heeseung was trailing after you just minutes later, which looked kinda suspicious and even more suspicious because you both looked wrecked, but at least you were on time.
“Hey, you two finally made it.” Jay was the first to greet you both.
“You two look like shit,” Jake adds with a chuckle.
“Thanks,” you and Heeseung both say and glare at him at the same exact time.
“Woah,” Jake chuckled and put his hands up in defense.
“Where did you both go? I saw you at the party, but I didn’t see you leave,” Yeji asks, concerned. “And you didn’t even text me,” she pouts.
“Sorry,” You gave Heeseung a look, trying to come up with something other than the truth cause if you told them what actually happened last night, you’re not sure if you could ever show your face again. There’s no way they’d let it go, especially Jake.
“She got too drunk like an idiot, and I gave her a ride home,” Heeseung says nonchalantly.
“That doesn’t explain why you’re both here at the same time,” Karina said, raising a suspicious brow.
“Her parents were asleep, so she spent the night at mine,” he tells a little white lie.
“Ahh,” she nods in understanding. “So, does this mean you two are good now?” Karina wonders.
“NO!” You both yell at the same time again, and they all look at you, smiling teasingly.
“Look, it’s so cute they even say the same thing together,” Yeonjun cooed.
“Do you not remember this bastard literally embarrassed me and poured beer all over my head at the party 'cause I took the spotlight off him?” You say through gritted teeth.
“If you weren’t busy being a fucking attention whore that would have never happened” heeseung rolls his eyes.
“Me? Says the guy who can’t eve-“
“Okay, okay,” Yeji breaks it up. Class would be starting soon, and there was no need for the drama. “He apologized. What’s in the past is in the past. If you guys can’t get close, then fine, but just be civil with each other.”
“Tell that to her. She’s the one always starting it,” Heeseung rebuttals.
“Wait, when did this start?” Sunghoon whispers, scratching his head, confused as to when you and Heeseung became enemies.
“After the first party,” Jake whispered back, and Sunghoon nodded in understanding, watching you both go back and forth like toddlers.
“How? You’re the one tha-“
“GUYS!” Yeji cuts you off again, causing you and Heeseung both to let out a long sigh.
“Whatever,” you slung your bag on your arm, going to your first class before you were late, and unfortunately, heeseung would be there with you too. “You’re such a fucking liar,” you say as you walk side by side, forced to be in his company after you walk away from your friends.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” he smiles brightly. “Should I have told them we fucked each other like animals all night long, and I have marks to prove it?” He replies sarcastically, his fake smile immediately disappearing.
You cringe at his choice of words, but it was true. “Not that you idiot, I’m talking about you saying I started whatever this is between us.”
“You did,” he shrugs, and before you explode, you enter class. unfortunately, the only free seat is next to him, and your day was already ruined before it even started.
-
The whole day, it was like you couldn’t avoid him. He was literally everywhere being annoying with that ugly, rotten attitude of his.
“Oh, my goodness, shut up,” you groan in annoyance when you hear him going on and on about his rank in a video game. You were just trying to study your notes at lunch in the cafeteria, but he just kept going. You supposed you could have gone to the library, but he could have also shut the fuck up.
“Why don’t you shut up? No one is even talking to your ass,” he snaps back, 'cause this time, he couldn’t just let you get away with being a total bitch to him.
“Exactly, so leave. Go talk somewhere else.” You rolled your eyes.
“Why don’t you go somewhere else? Pretty sure you won’t be missed, especially by me,” he argued back.
“Funny coming from the guy who was literally bothering me all morning,” he laughs in disbelief. You literally did that to him, and now that he did it back to give you a taste of your own medicine, you were making it sound like he was the one with the problem.
“Oh shut up,” he replies while your group of friends just laugh at the situation. You both sounded like five-year-olds having a fight on the playground.
“You shut up,” you reply, and of course, he had to have the last word.
“You shut up.”
“Ugh,” you rubbed your temples, feeling a headache coming on, and you just got up to go to the library instead of hearing another word from this walking pile of heaping garbage.
But before that, Jay had to say quite literally the stupidest shit a person could ever say. “You guys are cute together.”
“What the fuck, Jay? Whose side are you on?” Heeseung angrily replied.
“Jay, take that back before I hurt you.” You held your backpack up, making it look like you were going to hit him with it.
He laughs and puts his hands up, surrendering to your wrath. “Woah woah, I’m on side, heey/n.”
“ME TOO!” Karina shouts out of nowhere before burying her head in her hands, trying to soothe her hangover from last night.
“I second,” Sunghoon joins in, which is just great. He was mainly quiet, but now even he had to get himself into it, which you didn’t appreciate.
“I third,” Yeonjun saluted for who knows what reason.
“I forth,” Jake said, and you felt utterly betrayed cause he always had your back, or at least you thought so.
“Jay!” You and Heeseung say at the same time, with the same tone and same expression, and neither of you could understand why all of them were suddenly entertained by Jay’s stupidity.
“See?! You’re both Perfect for each other.” Jay smiles and claps his hands excitedly.
“I think you’re onto something,” Yeji agrees.
“And here I am thinking I have a best friend, tsk.” You yanked up your bag and headed to the library for some peace and quiet cause not only was Heeseung being stupid, but so were your friends. You’d sooner kiss dirt before liking him.
“What the hell is her problem? How are you even friends with it?” Heeseung asks seriously.
“I think it’s all just a big misunderstanding, and you should talk it out like adults,” Jake suggested, and Yeonjun snorted loudly at the unfathomable idea.
“When cows fly,” heeseung watched you leaving the cafeteria in disgust with his arms folded.
“I’ll have you know it’s actually when pigs f-“
“It’s all the same shit!” heeseung agitatedly cut Jake off mid-speech.
“Well, no, he’s actually right cause cows a- “
“Karina, are you or are you not still hungover?” Heeseung closes his eyes, taking a deep breath while trying to compose himself.
“Yes”
“Then maybe, and this is just a thought.” Heeseung turns to glare at her. “Stop talking.”
“I’ll get right on it, Jake,” she replies to Heeseung in all seriousness, and he can only sigh before resuming his conversation with Sunghoon about his little video game because he had given up on the rest of them for today.
-
Days like that persisted on and on. It was nonstop bickering from you two, so much so that your friends even got a headache whenever you were both together at lunch. At first, they all thought it was cute, but now that it was an everyday occurrence, it wasn’t so cute anymore.
“I liked it better when you two didn’t talk to each other,” Jay groans while covering his ears, but his words are drown out by your endless arguments.
“Just do me a favor and stop talking to me.” You folded your arms and turned your head to the side, ignoring heeseung.
Heeseung’s eyes softened a bit, but his words remained just as harsh. “Okay, and please do the same for me 'cause I’m tired of putting up with you.”
The table suddenly got all quiet, and you heard someone clear their throat after a few seconds.
“So it’s Sunday in a few days,” Yeonjun announced. “You know what that means.”
“PARTY!” everyone shouts, but you and heeseung, you both turned and slightly looked at each other, remembering the events of the last party before turning away and popping your mouths at each other.
“You’re coming again, right heeseung?” He nodded his head to Jake’s question, his mind a little too preoccupied with what had happened between you and him last time.
“Alright, full house, and Jay is the designated driver this time!” Yeonjun exclaimed and jay rolled his eyes at the news. “At least serve me fruit punch” he sulks.
“All you can drink,” Jake pats the sulking boy on his shoulder.
-
The party definitely wasn’t as good as last time, maybe because it wasn’t new to you anymore or maybe it really wasn’t as good as the first one, who knows.
You talked with Jeongin a bit, as well as your other friends, but after about an hour, it was getting to be pretty boring. And you already wanted to go home, but since you didn’t have a ride, you just waited it out a bit cause you didn’t want to ruin everyone’s fun.
“What do you know? Your mouth is finally shut.” Heeseung walks over to you for the sole purpose of annoying you, or at least that’s what it seems like to you.
“What do you know? You’re annoying me again,” he chuckled as he took a seat next to you.
“So much for keeping your mouth shut,” he sighed.
“Heeseung, you’re the one who’s talking to me. Don’t you think it’s you who needs to keep your mouth shut?” You said and tilted your head back, taking the last swig of your stale-tasting beer.
“Shut it for me then,” he stated nonchalantly and sipped from his blue solo cup. He made sure no one else was watching before he gripped your wrist and placed your hand on his upper thigh, stroking it softly as he bit his lip at the contact. “Come on, we both know you can,” he entices you.
You didn’t see why you shouldn’t accept the offer. It’d be a thousand percent better than drinking cheap beer and sitting by yourself, and bonus points cause Heeseung wouldn’t be annoying you all night. “Lead the way.”
-
“Fuck baby, keep going, that’s it, keep fucking going,” heeseung cursed from the way you were making him feel. Your pretty, plump lips wrapped around his thick cock while you lay between his legs was a sight to see. The image alone made his dick jump in excitement as you sucked him off like it was your favorite thing to do. “Mouth is finally doing something useful, baby,” You rolled your eyes at him, and even though your mouth was full of cock you still found a way to give him attitude. “Wow,” he laughs in disbelief.
You wanted him to shut his stupid mouth, so you cupped his balls, caressing them softly while lapping at his tip, something you noticed that drove him absolutely crazy. “Ah ah fuck!” he moans, hands clutching the sheets while you kiss the sensitive head of his dick. You hum in satisfaction, your other hand stroking his shaft up and down while you hollow your cheeks and slurp on his cock, taking it in your throat inch by inch. “Oh yeah, y/n, just like that,” he pants, his sweaty abs tensing as he feels warmth building in his lower abdomen. “Uh oh god,” he throws his head back against the bed frame, a soft thud following after. “Cumming” he breathes out, eyes rolling back in his skull as you suck him dry, pumping his base until his balls are empty and your mouth is full. “Slower fuck, p-please slower,” he begs softly, the sensitivity becoming too much for him. You gradually decrease your pace, caressing his length until his orgasm fades, and of course, you have to swallow his delicious cum.
“So good,” you whisper. You just can’t help yourself from saying it as you lick your lips clean of his release.
He smiles almost shyly while you practically savor the taste of him on your tongue, and if he had to guess, he’d say you enjoyed that as much as he did. “Wanna switch?” You shake your head no cause it wasn’t necessary for him to give you head just cause you gave it to him, but apparently, that’s not how he saw it. “Wanna return the favor though, Can I eat you out?” he slowly runs his fingers down your spine while he awaits your answer. “Please?”
“I’d be a fool to say no,” he grins while you switch positions. He levels his face with your cunt getting ready to make you cum in his mouth over and over again.
-
He didn’t just eat you out. He made you cum on his tongue three times while his thick fingers fucked you open for the main event.
You were shaking in pleasure, tears almost falling from your eyes cause his mouth felt too good. He sucked your clit fingered your sloppy hole and licked you absolutely clean, and he did a lot more than just return the favor. By the time you came for him the third time, you could have sworn you were on cloud nine.
“Shit, baby could eat you out all day,” he says after licking your hole one last time, making sure not a drop of your precious essence went to waste.
You would let him, too, cause it felt so good you could just imagine waking up and having him eat you out first thing in the morning. Now, that would be a way to start your day. “Hee,” you moan, running your hand through his damp hair.
He climbs over you, puckering his lips for a kiss, and you gladly accept quiet smacking sounds filling up his room, and you can’t ignore the feeling of his erect cock brushing against your thigh.
He repositioned himself, hands beside your head as he humped against your clit, drawing out the cutest of sounds from you. “Hurry, hee, put it in,” you whine and dig your fingers into his chest, desperate to feel him inside you already.
“Little demanding, aren’t we?” He teases his tip right where you need him most, but he doesn’t push his hips forward just yet.
“Just shut up and stick it in,” you respond, not in the mood for his games when you were in bed with him and you needed him this bad.
“So annoying.” he rolls his eyes, sheathing himself within you, setting a pleasuring pace from the start.
You gasped from the sudden invasion, but soon, you relaxed, allowing him to push in all the way to the hilt. You felt like one with how he molded himself so deep within you, the shape of his cock filling up every single inch of your walls perfectly. “Fuck” you huff out a short breath. “Hee,” your hands run along his chest. The marks you left before still not healed, but he’d be more than okay if you gave him new ones cause it would just solidify that he was fucking you right.
“You get so fucking wet for me,” he grunts, watching himself going in and out, his fingers digging into the sheets. “Look at it” he lifts the back of your head up from his pillows, making you watch him go balls deep in your pussy. “Making a mess for my dick, pussy just begging to be fucked”
“Yes, heeseung, please fuck me harder,” you beg with no shame.
He speeds up his movements right away, the bed frame rocking against the wall as he ruthlessly fucks into you. “Gonna fuck you so deep” he grips your hips, going at it with hard, precise thrust hitting that spot that makes you go crazy. “Feel good?” He can tell it does by the faces you make. “You love it fast and deep, huh?“
You nod frantically, anticipating everything he’s about to do to you. “Fuck me, heeseung fuck me,” you whine senselessly, which only turns him on even more.
Skin-on-skin echoes in the room, the wet, sticky sounds between your bodies making the act even hotter.
He quickens his pace even more, dick fucking into you so hard and fast you barely get a moment to catch your breath.
And just like that, out of nowhere, your orgasm builds at the speed of light. “Heeseung,” you mewl, hands gripping tightly on his biceps, and your fingers dig into the flesh, leaving little red indents in his skin just like he wanted.
“Yeah, pretty?” He answers, his face going to your neck to lightly suck on the skin but careful not to leave any marks.
“Need to cum” he moans softly, hand trailing down to play with your clit so you can cum even faster.
“I have you, baby,” he pants, circling your bud and massaging your walls with his perfect cock head. “Don’t hold it in, baby. Show me how much you like it.” Your legs instinctively tighten around his waist, unable to stop your muscles from contracting around him. You make incoherent sounds, begging him to pound into you harder and harder. “Harder? Such a dirty girl,” he giggles, using his full strength to plunge as deep in you as possible, kissing your cervix with his tip until your mouth hangs wide open, and the only thing that comes out is high-pitched moans of his name. “Feels so fucking good, shit, y/n, love this pussy so much,” he chokes out, sweat beads cascading down his body, his arms flexing as he drills you just the way you been craving for all week, even though you wouldn’t admit it, you could still feel his cock in you days later that’s just how good he was. “Cum with me” he kissed your lips, stilling inside you while he throbbed with every drop of cum he put inside you.
“Yes,” you mumble on his lips, hissing in pleasure, your hands stroking his muscular arms as your high takes over, and your moans sound so lewd, so loud, so filthy, but he loved every last second of it.
“There you go,” he whispers, his hot, heavy breath fanning your flushed cheeks.
“Hee,” you tremble in pleasure, body overwhelmed with the many orgasms he gave to you, and feeling his warm cum spilling inside you was just the icing on the cake.
He exhaled a deep breath, wincing in overstimulation as he pulled out. You both parted from each other, taking a minute to rest and catch your breaths.
Neither of you say it, but you both think about doing that again and again and again.
-
The bickering doesn’t end, and neither does the sex and as time goes on, things only amplify between the two of you, much to your friend's horror.
“I thought I told you not to talk to me,” you say to Heeseung, who was annoying you at lunch just cause he could.
“Maybe I would if you weren’t staring at me like you fucking hate me,” he tsked.
“Well, at least you have one thing right, I do fucking hate you” Heeseung turns to you with a different expression on his face than the usual annoyed one, and for once, he doesn’t fight back. He just keeps his mouth shut and looks down at his barely touched-lunch.
The table goes awkwardly silent, and no one says anything after that for about a solid minute or three, give or take.
“W-whatever,” heeseung clears his throat and grabs his backpack to leave cause the air suddenly felt too stuffy for him to be in.
“Well, that was a bit much,” Yeji says.
“Agreed,” Jake whispers quietly. “He kinda looked like he was hurt.”
“Much? He throws beer on my head, and no one says anything, but I say I hate him, and that’s a bit much. And his feelings are hurt? What about my feelings?” You scoff in disbelief.
“I don’t know. I mean, hate is such a strong word, you know?” Jake replied.
Enough of this, you thought to yourself and moved on to a topic that wasn’t stressful.
“Anyways, do you guys want to come with me? I have to go shopping later.” You start packing your things and getting ready to leave for your upcoming class.
“DOWN!” Jake shouts, and you chuckle.
Thank goodness you’d have some company because then that would keep your mind off that six-foot thing named Heeseung.
-
As much as you wanted him off your mind when Sunday rolled around and you made eye contact with him at yet another party, you couldn’t help yourself. Sex quickly became a routine for you both. Neither of you are the party type to begin with, but you both attended because you knew one another would be there and it would be quick access to sex, so it only makes sense to go to these events link up and go back to his place to fuck each other all night long.
“Hurry, hee,” you say breathlessly as he undoes his pants and pulls them down swiftly, tossing them in the pile of your guys discarded clothes.
He chuckled softly. “For someone who hates me, you sure want me pretty bad,” he gets on top, holding the base of his cock and rubbing your clit with his wet tip.
“Be quiet and fuck me. That’s the only thing you’re good at, and for the record, I don’t want you, just your dick” You gripped the pillows behind your head, back arching as your body heats up with want the longer he teases his tip on your clit.
“You get on my fucking nerves,” he slides it in, leaving you both breathless, and despite the fact that these hookups have been going on for a little over a month, you just can’t get enough of the way he feels so deep inside you, and he can’t get enough of how well you take him and how wet you get just from his single touch.
“Apparently not enough.” Your head falls back as your body relaxes under his.
“That makes two of us,” he breathed out, hoisting your legs on his shoulders as he bucks his hips forward extremely slow, giving you deep strokes until you’re panting and begging him for more. “More? I’m already giving it to you, sweetheart. What more could you possibly want?” He smirks down at your flustered face, and he finds it impossible not to think you looked so beautiful under him, taking every last inch of his hard dick.
“Hee,” you whine, tugging on his blankets. The slow pace was killing you. Your body was overheating. You could feel little tingles all over your skin, and all you wanted was for him to take you raw and make you cum on his cock over and over again as he filled your hole with his cum.
“Hmm, baby?” He leans down and kisses your lips softly. His hands knead the sweaty flesh of your thighs as he slides in and out, his whole shaft slick and creamy with your wetness.
He continues to watch you struggle under him. You try to find the words, but every time you go to speak, he takes your breath away by thrusting particularly hard, only to slow back down and have you on the verge of tears from all his teasing.
“Hee pl-oh god,” Your body tenses, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you slowly get drunk off the feeling of his cock. Your walls were hot and pulsating, begging for him to make you cum, but he didn’t. He kept his slow pace till you completely fell apart for him.
“Hee-“ you gulp down your words, barely able to even keep your eyes open at this point. “F-fuck me harder, please,” You clenched around him so tight a deep groan emitted from his chest.
“Harder?” He picks up his pace ever so slightly, but you can’t complain. At least he was alleviating some of the ache between your legs. “Like this?”
“Hmm yeah, just like that,” you speak up, finally forming something coherent after getting a bit of relief, but your walls still ached to be fucked hard and raw.
“Yeah? Just like that?” He digs his fingers into your hips, holding you still while snapping his hips into you.
“Fuck yes, heeseung, oh my god, so good,” you whimper, muscles tensing with every thrust.
He grunts at your words, sweat slowly building on his hairline.
“So fucking big” You bite your lip, lost in pleasure and far beyond return. “Harder, harder, harder,” you punctuated the words every time he touched your cervix with the head of his cock, and he didn’t disappoint. He immediately started giving it to you harder, just the way you wanted.
Your toes automatically curled when he pulled his cock halfway out, only to slam it back in, making you see stars with each thrust. “Oh fuck” he says shakily, his rhythm slowly decreasing. How could it not when your cunt was sucking him in. “Hard enough?” There’s a soft smirk on his lips, and at this point, you’re at his mercy. The only thing you can do is nod your head, too fucked out to reply with anything other than his name. “Heeseung,” you chant his name over and over again, reminding him with every thrust that he was the one behind your immense pleasure. “I guess so,” he teased, and you wanted to say something smart in return, but you were just too far gone. He had you wrapped around his finger and around his cock. “Aww, come on, y/n, you always have something to say, don’t you? Always cutting me off at school and demeaning me whenever I talk. Where did that go to, hmm?”
You turn your head, the feeling of embarrassment creeping up on you, but he quickly grips your chin, tilting your head towards him, forcing you to look him in the eyes while you take his dick and his condescending words. “Stop,” you whisper, but your walls clench around him, saying otherwise.
“What happened to all the cold glares? You say you hate me, but I’m sure somewhere deep down you’re always thinking about me having you just like this fucking you hard and deep, filling you up so well you can’t even speak. Look at you so fucking desperate for my cock” he breathed through his nose, trying to steady his breath cause this was exciting him to no end. Seeing you so embarrassed but so needy for his cock made him go absolutely feral fucking into you so fast you almost couldn’t even take it. “Yeah, silent now, huh? Maybe you should try that more o-often.” Those are the last words he speaks to you until he goes completely wild, and all you can do is lay there limp and clutching tightly on his shoulders, little whines coming from your pursed lips when his tip bumps your cervix repeatedly.
“Cum-“ he lowers his body on top of you, shutting you up with a kiss.
“I know, I know,” he whispers, brows drawn together tightly, sweat beads dripping from his body to yours. His hand dips down between your shaking legs, rubbing your clit with his thumb, and the grip he feels on his cock when you clench around him almost makes him cum then and there, but he holds it off just a little longer, waiting for you to cum with him.
His hand slips behind your head, pressing your face impossibly close as he kisses you feverishly, teeth clashing, noses brushing against one another, and erratic breaths in between. “Cumming!” You shrill, your walls violently pulsating around him, giving him the green light to let go and flood your insides with his hot cum.
“Oh god, y/n, me too, me too,” he choked out, forehead resting against yours as your faces contort in pleasure.
Needless to say, neither of you were moving from that spot anytime soon.
-
You both went round after round till morning came, trading orgasms back and forth, and you thought the first night was a record of orgasms, but this night ended late in the morning, and you had so many orgasms you couldn’t count on your fingers as well as heeseung, he didn’t know the exact number but Judging by the way your bodies were numb and just how stuffed your cunt was of his cum he could tell it was a lot of times, he didn’t even know he was capable of having so many back to back.
The sex was great, amazing even, but you still weren’t fond of each other. It was obvious both of you wanted sex and more than just once a week, so heeseung, being the smart guy he is, divulges a plan. “Since we do this so often, I was thinking we could set some boundaries,” he declares after pulling out of you and handing you some wipes to clean yourself. He would have done it for you, but he knew you would have made him feel like shit for even offering.
“Like what?” You asked, wiping yourself clean and covering up with his sheets once you were finished.
“Like a contract, so to speak,” he shrugs.
“Okay?” You wait for him to continue.
“So since we both hate each other, things are obviously never going to escalate beyond just sex, but since we’re both single and available to each other, I think we should continue having sex for our satisfaction.” You nod to the first condition you wouldn’t mind continuing to have sex with him. “Like we can fuck and hit each other up whenever, just no strings attached, just purely sex.” he clarified.
“With you, I wouldn’t want to do anything else.” You make a fake puking sound.
“Anyways,” he says with an eye roll. “We can still date and fool around with other people, and if we find someone else we like, either of us can end the contract if we get into a committed relationship,” he says.
“Nope,” you simply disagree for not-so-obvious reasons.
“Why? You scared you might lose me to someone else?” He smiles.
“No,” you deadpan. “Just don’t want your diseases.”
“Damn, you think I just stick my raw dick in anything?” He pretends to be offended, but deep down, he is actually kinda offended. You’d think so lowly of him like that.
“You do it with me,” you shrug.
“I do it for you only~,” he says in a sing-song tone.
“Just continue,” you sigh.
“Okay! then no dating or hookups, and once fall hits, we’ll end it sound good?” He reached his hand out to shake yours for the first time ever, it reminded him of the day you first met and he can’t help but wonder what he did to make you hate him in the first place.
“Deal.” You shook his hand, sealing your deal. “What are you doing?” You asked when he started fishing around in his drawer.
“You know a contract has to have signatures right?” you shake your head in disbelief as he clicks the pen open and starts writing down everything you both just mentioned. “You want to add anything?”
“Yes, from now on, no talking unless we’re having sex.” You plopped down in his bed.
“Okay,” he whispered, writing it down. “Anything else?” He says, playing with the pen between his fingers.
“Also, no looking at each other,” you add.
“Y/n, stop being ridiculous. We can talk and look at each other just don’t be an asshole about it” he goes against your rules.
“I’m the asshole? What about you?” You sat up, getting ready to question him.
“What about me? I don’t do anything.” he tapped his open pen on his notepad casually.
“And see? This is why we can’t talk.” You got upset by his seemingly unfazed attitude and folded your arms.
“Cause you just can’t stop being full of yourself and making everything about you.” He shook his head. “Fine, no talking then.”
“And looking,” you add, making sure he doesn’t forget.
“So fucking childish imagine taking my dick but not looking at me ridiculous,” he laughed incredulously.
“I don’t see why you want to talk.” You threw your hands up in the air.
“I DON’T!” he immediately denies.
“Then shut the fuck up and finish the list so I can go home,” you groan.
He jots down everything, leaving open spaces in case someone wants to add something later on. He signs it and hands it over to you for your signature. “90 days of pleasure,” you scrunched your face upon seeing the title.
“What? You have a better idea?” He looked at you, annoyance clear on his face.
“No, it’s just who the hell names a contract.” You clicked the bottom of his pen, scribbling on the piece of paper.
“Me. Now just hurry up and sign it.” You wrote down your signature and handed it back to him, shaking on it one last time.
“So after 90 days, it will be fall, and our contract will be over,” he states to clarify, and you nod your head in agreement.
-
It had been five days exactly since you both signed the contract, and Heeseung was the first to hit you up.
Heeseung: You available?
You were at home lying on your bed when you received a text from Heeseung, and your heart rate picked up In anticipation of getting absolutely fucking railed by him cause you’d been so busy lately with school, and nothing screamed stress reliever like Heeseung’s dick.
You: Yes.
You reply back and go to your bathroom to freshen up and get ready for your dick appointment.
After you replied yes, heeseung ran a shower and tidied up his room a bit. It was never dirty, but a few things were out of place. He changed the bedsheets to the freshly washed ones in his closet and waited for your arrival.
You text him when you arrive, and he opens the door, allowing you to take off your shoes. As soon as the door shuts, he’s all over you, kissing you roughly as he pins you against the door and starts rubbing his already-stiffened cock on your thigh.
Yeah, this was going to be the best stress relief ever.
-
You woke up in the morning feeling rested and refreshed after getting some last night. You were about to get out of bed, but you found yourself wrapped in Heeseung’s arms, your face buried in his chest as he held you against his warm body.
You didn’t think much of it; it was probably just a habit he had when he slept, but one thing you noticed was how pretty he looked while sleeping.
His mouth was slightly pouted, his eyes closed, and the little labored breaths he let out that fanned your skin were so adorable. Too bad awake heeseung wasn’t like asleep heeseung.
You carelessly took his arms off of you and woke him up in the process.
He sat up a few seconds later, watching you getting ready to leave. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and looked at the clock, seeing that it was still pretty early, especially compared to the one time when you were both running late.
He would have at least offered you some breakfast and a shower if you weren't so mean, but next thing you know, you'd probably accuse him of trying to poison your food or say his tap water was brown.
He reached for his phone on his lamp stand and unlocked it, the other hand going behind his head as he typed away on the screen with a smile on his face and a few giggles here and there.
You wondered who he was talking to so early in the morning and what made him laugh and smile so much, but you shook your head. You didn't care coming or going. You just wondered what his problem was with you. He got along with literally everybody else just fine except you.
Wordlessly, you got dressed and left his room. No words were exchanged between you two, just like you both agreed on the contract.
-
"Things are awfully quiet these days." Jay sparks up a conversation about the two of you, the whole friend group seemingly taking an interest in you and Heeseung for some odd reason. "So you both, like, really aren't talking?"
You shook your head no slightly.
"Why?" Jay questioned.
"Cause he hates me."
"Cause she hates me."
You both automatically glare at one another as soon as the words leave your lips.
"Oh, here we go. Why did you get them going again?" Yeonjun threw his head back in annoyance. All he wanted to do was eat in peace, but you both always had to start something at lunch. The only reason he was still even in the cafeteria was because Yeji was there. If she wasn't, he would have left because the two of you were getting on his last nerve.
Heeseung was fed up and frustrated, but all he could think about was having you in a compromising position, so the only thing you could say was his name and not that nonsense you just spewed out. He didn't fucking hate you. It was you who hated him.
He pulled out his phone right across from you, texting you to meet him in the janitor's closet. Your stomach turned with arousal, and you were so down to do it with him right now. He was your stress but also your stress reliever.
Heeseung abruptly left the table, leading the way to the closet first.
No one really thought anything of it cause he'd occasionally walk out whenever you two started arguing.
After five minutes, you discreetly left the table while the group was discussing something intensely more like Jake's motor mouthing all the drama going around at school right now.
When you knocked on the door, heeseung practically dragged you inside, slamming the door shut and pressing his lips against yours, his hand going up your skirt to play with your pussy right away, and he could already feel you had gotten a little wet.
His kiss was sloppy, and his hands were desperately groping your body. His movements were fast and rushed, almost like he couldn't wait a second longer to have you.
You moaned in his mouth, trying to keep up with him giving him the perfect opportunity to suck on your tongue as he slipped your panties to the side, rubbing his palm on your warm wet cunt.
Your knees buckled from his light touching, and he quickly turned you around, letting your hands rest on the wall that was now in front of you.
He stood tall behind you, hiking up your skirt around your waist and yanking your panties down to your knees. You listened to his belt buckle unclamp, and your pussy throbbed with excitement when you heard the material of his pants dropping to the ground.
He runs his smooth fingers over your folds, cupping your heat as you tilt your head back, moaning and granting him access to kiss all over your exposed neck.
His left hand reached around the front of your body so he could flick your clit a few times before sinking his two fingers inside you, scissoring you wide open, your little cunt already oozing white all over his thick fingers.
Always so wet, he thought to himself, pumping your hole faster and finger fucking your tiny cunt till you involuntarily came around his fingers, creaming his digits in just a matter of seconds while doing your best to cover your moans and hold yourself upright.
You were just a complete mess for him.
"Are you sure you hate me?" he talked against your ear, nibbling your lobe softly as He slipped his two fingers from your pulsing cunt to replace them with his cock. He rested his length on the crevice of your ass, his hands on your shoulders as he humped against you, the warmth of your ass inviting his wet shaft to slide back and forth agonizingly slow.
He sucked in a sharp breath, his veiny cock throbbing in need to be inside of you as he watched you all bent over, moaning from the feeling of him just putting it on you and not actually inside you.
He bends down slightly, aiming his leaky tip at your hole, and he finds it with no problem, slowly inching forward, going slower than usual cause the position he has you in.
He puts his palm on your lower tummy, one hand on your clit, rubbing it to get you off, his cheek pressed against your back as he completely loses himself in the feeling of your pussy, inviting him in so warm and so deep.
"Nothing to say?" He chuckles, keeping his pace steady and not too rough cause you both had to save your energy, given the fact you still had almost a full day of school and activities left.
You couldn't say anything. How could you when he was fucking you so good? The only thing you managed to do was whimper his name as your walls clamped helplessly around him, and you being completely speechless whenever you were with him seemed like it was becoming a new habit, one you didn't want to break anytime soon.
"That's what I thought." He winces as holds most of your weight, keeping you upright, and you're so thankful cause your legs were going to give up on you any second. "Just be quiet and take this dick that you love so much."
You both let out uncontrollable moans doing your best to keep them quiet for the most part as he slowly pumps your pussy to bliss. You clench around him so tight he feels light-headed. Needless to say, he's not gonna last much longer, and the idea of having a quickie with you at school just riled him up even further.
He circles your wet clit, and you arch your back instinctively, his tip hitting just a little deeper, turning you into a wet dripping mess as more of your leak drips down his shaft and coats his full balls.
It's no secret that you're cumming. The way you squeeze him rhythmically lets him know that it's not long before you experience the big O.
"Cumming” he whispers, eyes screwed completely while he stills inside your pussy, throbbing uncontrollably as he spews his hot cum into you right after you come undone around him and it always felt so much better when you both came together, at least to him, anyways.
After a few ragged breaths, the moment quickly ends, and he pulls out, grabbing his pants and tucking himself away while you do the same. He lets you leave first without a single word being exchanged between the two of you. He waits approximately seven minutes before coming out and meeting up with the rest of the group.
"You two are always showing up together" Karina notices. "Are you sure you guys aren't close, and you're not just putting on a show for us?" She grins.
You tense slightly when you hear what she says, but you quickly regain yourself despite feeling heeseungs residual cum sticking to your thighs. "No show is worth being involved with him." You roll your eyes, trying to keep up with the facade.
"That pretty much sums it up," Heeseung says, looking up at everyone with a smile on his face like his dick wasn't still stained in your cum from fucking your pussy just moments ago. "Where are we eating from after school? Cause I'm starving." he clasps his hands together, hoping his diversion tactic works, and it seemingly does when everyone starts fighting about where they want to eat from after class ends.
Next time, you'd both have to be a little more discreet than that.
-
Though it felt like yesterday when you signed the contract, it was already fall, and your 90 days go by in a flash. It was the best and worst 90 days of your whole life, all thanks to a certain someone.
You didn't get along with him, but you have to admit he was your guilty pleasure. He was just that good in bed. Whoever he marries is going to be one lucky girl. Sadly, you could only experience it for 90 days, but you'd take 90 days over nothing at all.
This was the last day you and Heeseung had together, and you were going to make the absolute most out of it.
You both were about fifty-fifty when it came to hitting each other up at all sorts of times and places at school. You'd both go to the bathroom and give each other head before returning back to your friends like nothing had ever happened, and none of your friends had ever caught on even though they were suspicious of you both all the time.
You loved the quickies at school, but the trips to the mall grew to be your favorite cause you and heeseung always made great use of the dressing rooms.
Good times.
You reminisce about the one time you and him were going back and forth per usual. "Is it just me or does anyone else feel annoyed whenever he talks?" Heeseung sighed deeply stopping in his tracks and turning towards you.
"Excuse us." Suddenly, he grabbed you by your wrist, leading you away from the group, and your friends were thankful that at least you could fight in private and not ruin the outing for once.
He took you to some random clothing store that you couldn't quite get the name of cause he already had you locked inside the dressing room, his large hands cupping your ass as he practically stuck his tongue down your throat.
"You just never know when to fucking stop," he groaned against your lips, sliding his hands up your skirt and yanking your black panties down to your ankles, his fingertips easily gliding between your damp folds.
You gasped, eyes fluttering shut as you gripped his shoulders for support as he teased your entrance. "Hee," you whine, head falling to the side while he licked a trail up your neck.
"Shush." he holds his unoccupied finger to your mouth as he slips one digit inside you, and even though he told you to shush, a helpless moan escapes your lips when he buries his finger knuckle deep in you. "Fuck baby, you gotta be quiet" he clenched his jaw, trying his best not to groan from feeling your warm little pussy clamped around his finger so tightly.
"Yes, fuck hee," he nips the skin of your neck, pulling his finger out of you cause the last thing either of you needed was to get caught, especially in public. "No," you whine at the loss, your walls clenching desperately, begging for him to go back inside you. "Please don't stop"
"Then keep that pretty little mouth shut for me, yeah?" you don't know why, but something about the aggressive yet softness in his tone turned you on so much you absentmindedly nodded your head, hand reaching for his wrist and guiding it back under your skirt. "No noise," he reminds you and stuffs your hole with not one but two fingers, and you're not sure how he expects you to keep quiet while he massages your walls with the pads of his soft fingers so well. "Like that, hmm, pretty?" he whispers, his large hand cupping your mouth to keep you quiet.
You nod again, moans getting muffled by his hand, and your eyes go crossed from the pleasure he makes you feel.
He pressed his thumb on your clit, his digits working inside you smoothly, running along your warm, velvety walls, pushing you closer to the edge.
"Come on, give it to me. I know you want to," he whispers in your ear.
At the sound of his voice and his warm breath blowing against your face, your walls collapsed, squeezing around his fingers, his thumb rubbing your clit in perfect circles, giving you yet another earth-shattering orgasm to add to your list.
Behind the dressing room doors, your muffled moans could be heard, and the lewd noises of him finger fucking your sloppy cunt.
He slipped his fingers out of you, gently pushing you back on the bench, making quick work of his jeans and belt, too impatient to take his underwear off.
He pulled out his cock from the tiny hole in front, dropping his pants to his knees, giving him just enough mobility to fuck you.
Saliva pooled in your mouth at the sight of his perfect cock as you lay out, waiting for him to take you raw in the mall dressing room.
He bunched your dress around your waist, revealing your perfect cunt for his eyes to feast on as he grabbed the base of his cock, running it along your wet pussy lips.
Your legs circled around his waist, caging his midsection against yours. The angle wasn't ideal, but neither of you could care. You were far too worked up at this point.
His hands went to your waist, holding you in place as he started to fuck into you at a fast pace, and if the employees didn't hear your guy's moans, you're sure they were bound to hear the sound of his sweaty skin clapping against yours. "Shit," he breathed out, stroking your walls, and he couldn't quite wrap his head around the fact you felt ten times better every single time he had you. "So fucking wet and creamy baby," he grits through his teeth. "That turn you on, princess? Making me fucking mad? Down talking to me in front of everyone. Does that do it for you?"
You lay there limp, your hands hanging onto the bench for support. "Fuck” you moan, throwing your head back, relishing in the feeling of his thick cock hitting every single part inside you that makes your toes curl.
"It does, doesn't it? You like making me angry, so I fuck my frustration out on you?" You tighten around his girth, his words going straight to your pussy.
"N-no," you lie. If you were being honest, you did rile him up in hopes he'd take you off somewhere and fuck you back into place.
"Fucking liar," he breathed. "Your pussy is saying otherwise fucking squeezing me so tight I can barely even move" he moves his hands to your ass, tightening his grip as he lifts you up, your lower body no longer in contact with the bench, and you feel his dick hitting deeper and deeper. "Teach you not to interrupt me again," he goes even harder, bullying his tip past your tight gummy walls, invading your hole with his cock so deep you felt like you could feel him inside your stomach.
"R-right there, yes." he slows his pace the moment the words leave your lips.
"I thought I told you to be quiet. Why can't you just fucking listen, baby? You never listen." he starts moving again, and your moans increase in pitch. You weren't trying to, but how could you not scream in pleasure when he was fucking you just right. "You know what?" he sets your lower half down and hovers over you, mouth just inches above yours. "Open," he whispers, and he doesn't need to tell you twice. Your mouth automatically falls open for him. "Take it." he gathers a ball of spit in his mouth, saliva dropping from his mouth to your own to make sure you can't make another sound.
His hips fasten in pace as he lifts up his shirt tucking it under his chin to watch the dirty act of his cock getting buried in your raw creamy cunt. "Finally found a way to make you quiet," he smirks, his thumb finding your clit and massaging it softly.
You mindless nod your head, your brows furrowed in pleasure as his warm saliva rests on your tongue.
"Hmm, fuck, didn't know you could be this obedient for me" he pulled out halfway and collected more saliva in his mouth, spitting it on his shaft before sliding back in, making the wet noises between your conjoined bodies even louder. "Yeah," he breaths out. "Take it, baby, take it, take this fucking cock," he says, mesmerized by the thick white ring of arousal coating his base. His hips slowly losing rhythm, and when he looked at your blissed-out face, he lost it, his length throbbing at the sight of you holding his spit in your mouth while filled with his girthy cock. "All yours," he whispered through a moan, the words slipping past his lips absentmindedly in his dazed state.
He rubbed your clit faster, knowing he wouldn't last more than a few seconds longer. "Cum for me, C-cum on me, y/n," he moans softly. His words make you cum simultaneously with him, and you feel him release deep inside you, filling up your slick pussy with copious amounts of seed. "Good," he breaths out. "Swallow me," he whispers against your lips. You comply, unlike all the other times when you fought against him. His lips find yours in a messy kiss as you both indulge in your highs together.
Needless to say, from then on, you purposely riled him up so he could take his frustrations out on your body.
Sadly, that was just a memory, but you couldn't wait to get out of school today because you have been fiending for him.
You needed him like right now, but currently, Jay was holding you up, talking to you about something you couldn't quite pay attention to because your core ached for none other than Lee Heeseung.
And it didn't help when he walked past and saw you both talking together. You know you weren't supposed to be looking at each other because of the contract, but you couldn't help it, and you also couldn't help but clench around nothing at the sight of him, your eyes traveling to his crotch just thinking of all the things you wanted him to do to you or you wanted to do to him.
“Y/n?” Jay waves his hand in front of your face, trying to gain your attention.
"Hmm? Sorry, I must have spaced out," you giggle nervously, and luckily, Jay didn't seem to catch on to you shameless ogling his friend.
"So anyways, like I was saying," Jay goes on to tell you again, and you feel so bad 'cause you still just couldn't focus, not with Heeseung within twenty feet of you.
"Just look at her," Heeseung says, not being so discreet about looking at you, but fuck that part of the contract. It was stupid, respectfully. "I can't stand her. She's so fake you can see it all over her face," heeseung grumbles.
"I don't know man, she just looks like she's having a good time to me. Sure you're not just jealous that she's talking to Jay and not you?" Jake teases.
"Of course, I'm not. Why would I be? It's not like she's my girlfriend, and I don't fucking care what she does. All I'm saying is that she's fake as fuck. She acts all cute and bubbly with everyone except me, and then when I say something about it, she makes me look like I'm the crazy one," he rambles.
"You sure?" Jake pushed on.
"I'm sure, she can talk to whoever she wants, unlike her. I'm not desperate for attention," he says while stealing glances at you every now and then.
"Dude, do you even hear yourself? You're the only one bothered. You keep saying attention, attention, attention, but every chance you get when she's not around, you talk about her bringing even more attention to her." Jake can't help but point out the obvious.
"You know nothing at all, but you'll find out one day," heeseung says, total nonsense, and quickens his steps, getting in front of Jake to pull out his phone and text you so you could get out of jays face and in his, he definitely wasn't jealous or anything like that, he just didn't want anyone being manipulated by your double personality.
Immediately after receiving his text, you politely excused yourself from Jay, telling him you had to use the "restroom."
Once you make it inside, he pulls you into his body, quickly dropping to his knees, his hands working to pull down everything and eat you out. He does it sloppy, wet, and messy, but you don't care, too lost in pleasure to think of anything else other than his hot tongue slithering through your engorged folds.
He adds two of his fingers in the mix, running them along your soaked slit while sucking on your swollen clit with great enthusiasm humming and moaning at the taste of your wetness hitting his tongue.
He looked up at you, his round pretty eyes staring into your own as he finger fucked you. Your legs were shaking, knees slightly bent, and he wrapped his free arm around you, pulling you closer to his face and stabilizing your shaky posture. "Baby," you say in a daze-like state, hands resting on his broad shoulders while his mouth delivers heaven to your core.
He hums against your heat, flicking his tongue on your clit expertly until you come all over his warm tongue. "Heeseung, fuck me, so good, so fucking g-good," you stutter and grip the wall behind you for support, your other hand running through his soft hair and pushing his face even closer to your cunt as he cleans you with his tongue till every last drop is out of your pretty pulsing hole and down his throat.
He takes his fingers out of you sucking them clean of everything, and the sight already has you turned on again even though you just came, but you couldn't risk going another round and getting caught.
He helps you pull your panties up and straighten out your skirt. He stood up and grabbed the door handle, ready to leave, which had you confused, and despite the no-talking rule, you couldn't help but break it just this one time. "What about you?" You stood up along with him.
"We can't risk getting caught. You can make it up to me later if you want, okay?" he rushes out, hand twisting the knob of the door.
"But we always trade. Let me get you off and help you with your problem down there." You cupped his bulge, massaging him lightly through his jeans.
"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you love me," He jokes.
You don't bother responding, only sinking to your knees, making quick work of his pants. Once his bottom half is naked and exposed, you inhale his cock sucking him off to the best of your abilities to make him cum as fast as possible.
Which was only two minutes, and that was definitely record time. "Fuck, I'm cumming already," he pants, losing control over his hips as he fucks your throat carefully and holds your head in place while you suck his balls dry. "Shit baby," he sighs in pleasure, letting himself go, his head lulling to the side as he pats your hair. You bob your head, tongue moving in an up-and-down motion on the underside of his cock before you pull away, swallowing his cum like always; you kiss his tip, topping him off perfectly.
You helped him wear his pants correctly, just like he did with you. You gave him a flirty smile and a wink before you left the restroom, leaving him a frazzled mess from the head you just gave him.
-
Since that wasn't enough for either of you, later that same day, you both texted each other literally at the same time. Your text bubbles appeared on each other's screen, and luckily, heeseung was alone cause he had a goofy little smile on his face, but that's before he caught himself and realized the pain in the ass he was talking to.
You: My place or yours? My parents are out of town
Heeseung: Yours
He responds immediately. You two haven't done it there yet cause of your parents always being home, but he wouldn't miss the opportunity to have you begging for him in your bed.
-
The sun set and rose with heeseung still lying in your bed, and 90 days are now officially up.
"Good morning, y/n," Heeseung stretched out his limbs, yawning and draping his arm around you.
"Get the fuck off" You pried his arm off, and he chuckled. "And why are you talking to me?"
"Contracts up." Oh yeah, the contract. It's too bad it's over. You wouldn't have minded just a couple more days with him cause somehow 90 just simply wasn't enough.
You turned to him and admired him for a few seconds. You wished you just had at least one more day cause he looked so sexy in the morning with his sleepy eyes and bed head it took everything in you not to just go under the sheets and suck his-
"Well, I better go. You look like you'll burn holes through me with that stare," he awkwardly laughed and stood up from your bed, yawning as he got dressed for the day. After he had finished putting his clothes on, he reached into his overnight bag, pulling out the contract. "Guess we don't need this anymore." he walked back over to your bed, letting the sheet of paper fall on it.
"You guessed right." You grabbed it, ripping it in half and then again for extra measures.
"Did you really have to rip it?" He mumbled as he grabbed the torn paper off your bed, examining the damage you had done to it.
"It's just a stupid piece of paper." You threw the blankets over your head, groaning loudly, pretending that you weren't affected by this being your last day with him.
"Yeah, just a piece of paper." his lips formed a thin line, and he stuffed the little pieces of paper back into his backpack. "Bye, y/n." he reached for the doorknob and looked back at you one last time before leaving, assuming you'd say it back, but you never did. "You could at least say it back, you know." He stopped at your door.
"Can you please just get the fuck out? I would like to get some sleep without a pig snoring next to me," you sighed. He didn't snore, but you said it just to piss him off.
"Still a complete bitch, I see" You yanked the covers back, revealing your angry expression.
"And now I'm a bitch? Last time I checked, you were the one that hated me, and now you want me to say bye? Over my dead body," you plopped back down.
"I don't want you saying shit to me, but maybe just act like a normal fucking human being for once and not an asshole" he walked and slammed your bedroom door.
You sighed and flipped over on your bed, hoping to get some more sleep cause you could already feel today going like shit, complete shit, especially since you and Heeseung could talk to each other again.
-
Surprisingly enough, you didn't have any contact with Heeseung. He made sure to sit the furthest away from you. He didn't look at you nor scoff whenever you laughed, not even an eye roll.
You didn't know he was capable of leaving you alone, but you're glad he did. It's not like you missed your guy's daily banter every week.
"It's eerily quiet toda-"
"Jake shut the fuck up" Jay shoved him on the shoulder.
"Yeah, that's in the past," Yeonjun says with a full mouth while Yeji scolds him for not chewing his food properly.
"Does anyone have an extra eraser? I forgot mine." Heeseung looks up sheepishly from his notepad, ignoring the conversation prior to his question.
"I," Karina raised her hand, fishing out an eraser for him.
Your hand was already automatically reaching into your bag for one before she even said anything, but you dropped the eraser once she gave him hers. It's not like it bothered you that he was using hers and not yours; besides, you didn't want to share anything with him anyway. It was just a reflex, that's all.
You didn't even notice, but after a moment, you sighed, and when you did, Jake gave you a little knowing smile, but you tapped his shin under the table before he even started his nonsense, the smile quickly disappearing from his face.
"Thank you~" heeseung sings and goes back to doing whatever it was that he was doing.
"You're welcome," Karina replied while drawing some little figures on her piece of paper.
The rest of the day passed by like normal, and for the first time since you met you and Heeseung didn't fight, but for some odd reason, you just didn't feel like yourself, so you opted out of the plans you all had made earlier.
"You sure?" Jay asked once you all left school and were standing outside the gates. "We can always reschedule."
"No, it's fine. Just bring me something back," you tell him playfully.
"Will do," Jay chuckles.
"Well, bye guys, see you all next week," you bid your goodbyes to everyone.
"Hey, why don't I drive you?" Jay offers.
"NO!" Heeseung shouts, gaining the attention of everyone, and his ears turn a shade of pink. "I-I mean I'll drive her 'cause it's closer to my place, and I had to get something before we leave, you know?" He gulped eyes nervously shaking back and forth.
"We're just going to the store. What do you need at home?" Jay says, confused.
Heeseung stood there looking for a feasible answer, but he found none, and he could feel sweat starting to form on his palms and hairline.
"You said your wallet, right?" Jake nudged heeseung on the shoulder, silently telling him to play along.
"Y-yeah, oh yeah, my wallet," he laughs nervously.
"Don't you have the pay function on your phone-"
Jake quickly cuts Jay off. "His phone is dead, he told me earlier." Heeseung nodded immediately.
"Well, okay then," Jay gives you a small smile and waves bye to you one last time.
"Hurry up, let's go." Heeseung brushes past you while side-eyeing Jay in passing.
You follow behind Heeseung silently as he opens the door for you. "I can just walk."
Heeseung doesn't say anything and gets in the driver's seat, buckling in before driving you to your destination. When you get on the road, it's completely silent other than the calm music he plays on his radio. "You could," he replies to your statement at least five minutes later.
"Then, if it's all the same to you, I want to get out," you say, clearly not in the mood for his attitude.
"I'm not stopping, plus it's starting to rain, and the last thing I want is for you to blame me for why you get sick." he hits the brakes, slowing down for the red light.
"I don't care jus-"
"Don't start this today. Just take the ride" he shakes his head and presses the gas. Once the light turns green, you sigh in annoyance but remain silent after accepting the ride home.
He stops outside your house right at the curb, putting his blinkers on just in case. He then unlocked the door and reached over his console to unbuckle your belt and open the door for you. "See you at school tomorrow, y/n," he says as you step out of his car.
"See you" you whisper feeling awkward after finally acting somewhat civil with him for once, you walked up to your house and, he slowly pulled away once he saw you got in safely.
-
Everyone was gathered around the table at the cafeteria, eating in silence for once.
Jake is the first one to break the silence. "Hey hee, can I talk to you for a minute, like in private?" heeseung nodded to Jake and scooted his chair from the cafeteria table, following him to a quieter area.
"Mind telling me why you lied and have been avoiding me since the other day?" Jake raised a questioning brow.
"What do you mean?" Heeseung's eyes travel anywhere but Jake's.
"You know what I mean the other day when I saved your ass" Jake gives him a little refresher.
"Oh, that," heeseung chuckles awkwardly.
"Yeah, that, now give me an answer, Mr Lee" Jake puts his hands on his hips, tapping his foot impatiently.
"So it's kinda embarrassing, but if you must know, I had to go to the toilet," Heeseung lied.
"What's wrong with the school toilets?" Jake furrows his brows in confusion.
"I don't use them," he says quickly, which makes him look even more suspicious cause this was news to Jake. "And besides saves gas cause I'm closer to y/n's house so it just makes sense you know?"
"Hmm, mmm." Jake rubs his chin in thought, his eyes narrowing at Heeseung, trying to detect if he's lying, but he finds nothing. "Okay!" he smiles brightly and pats heeseung on the shoulder, leading them back to the cafeteria. "I thought you wanted to be alone with y/n."
Heeseung laughs breathily, a relieved breath following after. "Not in a million years." he kept his act up, hoping no one was catching onto him.
When he sits down, everything else seems to be normal, and thankfully, Jake seems none the wiser and doesn't bring it up again.
-
Heeseung: 👀
It's eight at night when you receive a text from Heeseung, which is unusual, of course.
You text him back, interested in why he's hitting you up cause the contract has been over for days now.
You: 👀
Heeseung: Didn't think you'd answer 😳
You: What do you want? 🙄
Heeseung: I know the contact is over, but I was kinda sorta thinking about you 😅 and I was wondering, since it's Sunday night and we’re both not going to the party, maybe you could come over just for old-time's sake.
You: Old times sake? It's not even been a week, heeseung.
Heeseung: Okay, you got me there, but are you okay with coming over?
You chewed your lip in thought, but who were you kidding? It was Lee Heeseung. Of course, you were coming over.
You: I'll be over in half an hour.
Heeseung: See you then.
He would have offered to get you, but nine times out of ten, you'd say no. Plus, he had a little something to do anyway, so this was perfect.
Heeseung sprinted out of bed after he sent his last text.
He scrambled to his cabinets to prepare everything. He set up candles on either side of his bed. The smell of air freshener was all throughout his room. The lights were dim, which set the mood perfectly, and he couldn't forget to sprinkle some rose petals on the edge of the bed and don't even get him started on the bathroom.
Why is he doing this?
Well, because since the beginning, he had a little crush on you that blossomed into a fat one.
The day he laid eyes on you, he was utterly mesmerized by your beauty but also so shy he practically hid himself behind Jake when you introduced yourself cause he was too nervous to even speak in your presence.
But when you ignored him, it hurt his heart cause even though he just saw you, it was like love at first sight. His heart was racing, and his eyes were full of adoration. He was so happy Yeji was friends with you, and he couldn't wait to talk to you and get to know you more.
But that sadly didn't happen cause you didn't seem to have any interest in him the way he did you.
After a while, everything you did annoyed him, not cause he was annoyed by you, but he was annoyed cause everything you did didn't involve him. He wished you laughed at his jokes. He wished you talked to him. He wished you looked at him the way he looked at you.
Again, it just didn't happen; however, when you approached him at the party that one night, he couldn't pass the golden opportunity up. He was not easy by any means. He was definitely a man of standard. It's just it was you. How could he say no? Even if you didn't like him back, he said yes, because all he wanted was to get close with you anyway he could, and it just happened to be in the form of sex, but he wasn’t complaining cause your body was just as amazing as your personality.
Fast forward to the contract part. It was his poor attempt at getting closer to you; nevertheless, when you said no talking or looking at each other, that foiled his plans immediately. He still kept at it though for one reason, not sex, the sex was perfect don’t get him wrong, but the fact that you said your 90 days together would strictly be just you and him meant you wouldn't be dating any guys or seeing anyone but him, which meant he'd have some time to try and win you over but unfortunately the 90 days flew by and your relationship was the same if not worse.
Despite it all, he still didn't want to give up on you the last few days. He wasn't ignoring you cause he didn't like you. He was just trying to give you some space and show you he respected your boundaries. Maybe then he'd win a few points with you, and he was also brewing up a plan to see if maybe he could mend your guy's enemies' relationship and turn it into what it should have been from the start.
He had to cause he couldn't take the idea of not being your friend. You were great. You were funny, smart, caring, considerate, modest, and every other good word in the dictionary he could think of, not to mention the most beautiful girl he'd ever laid his two eyes on.
He knew you wouldn't come over just to hang out with him, so he kinda bribed you with sex, but that wasn't the only thing, he was going to give you a nice long night full of pleasure, and if he could convince you he was going to treat you to dinner and a movie and ask you a very forward but important question.
Around half an hour later, he heard your soft knocks on the front door, and he had just finished setting everything up, which was perfect. The plan was already going so smoothly; he exhaled a deep breath before answering the door. "You got this, heeseung," he said to himself and opened the door, revealing your figure, and you looked absolutely stunning as always. "You look beautiful, y/n." he stared at you, awestruck like a deer in the headlights.
And you don't know why, but it sounded so genuine you couldn't help but become flustered. "Thank you"
"You're welcome," he sighs dreamily as he watches you discarding your shoes at the door, and he prays by the end of the night. This wouldn't be the last time you came over. "Come with me." he grabs your hand, leading the way.
You entered his bedroom, and it smelled like lavender, which was your favorite scent. You couldn't help but notice the rose petals and the candles, and you wondered why he decided to go all out tonight. "Who knew you could be so romantic?" You teased.
"I try." he came up behind you, resting his chin on your shoulder and engulfing your frame. "You like it?"
"I love it, but hee, what has gotten into you?" You say trying to sound annoyed but you can't bring yourself to, not when he's hugging you so affectionately and his fingertips are tickling your sides making you giggle like a schoolgirl.
"You" is all he says as he caresses your skin and makes out with the side of your neck. Your mind goes blank after feeling his soft lips on your skin, and nothing but the thought of having his body fills your brain.
"I'm so glad you could make it," he whispers in your ear, his lips grazing the shell of it as you crane your neck to the side.
"Me too," you reply softly, your eyes falling shut as his smooth fingertips trace your sides up and down.
He kissed your cheek, your jaw, and finally, your neck, leaving wet open, mouth kisses on your sensitive spot.
"Hee," you moan shakily, and he slips his hands under your shirt, tracing his index finger around your navel, one hand dipping inside your shorts and the other cupping your bra-glad breast.
“I'm here, baby,” He whispers, pressing his body flush against you, his hand rubbing over your clothed mound, the hand on your chest slipping inside your bra to play with your hardened nipples.
Your back arched naturally, and you whined when you felt his stiffness twitching on your backside.
He moans breathlessly, his warm breath tickling your neck as he sticks his tongue out, licking the spot he just kissed over and over again.
His fingers slipped your panties to the side, and when you felt his bare skin on yours, you gasped loudly. His warm fingers massaging your sensitive folds was the best feeling in the world. He always knew just how to touch you to make you want him. "You're really wet," he emphasizes with a deep groan while tightening his grip on your left breast.
"All because of you," you tell him truthfully, and he smiles softly at your words, pleased to know he’s pleasuring you just the way you like it. "You always get me so wet, baby."
He melts when you call him baby, his chest filling with nothing but warmth, his hand teased your opening, dipping his middle finger inside you just deep enough to make you want more. "Is that right?" he says, completely fascinated by your arousal as he slips his finger right inside with ease.
"Yes," Your legs tremble from the pleasuring intrusion. You'd think after having him almost every day for 90 days, you'd get used to the feeling, but you never did. It just felt better and better each time. "Feels so good," you whimper.
"Yeah?" He nibbles on your neck, his hands still working magic all over your body, and when he rubs himself against you, you just can't wait anymore.
"Please hee, I c-can't, c-can't wait," you breathed out every square inch of your body, ignited by his touch while your juices were running down his fingers and wrist, and you were more than ready to take him at this point.
"It's okay, baby, I got you." he pressed his cheek to yours as he reached down, easily dropping your shorts and panties. "Arms up for me, baby." he leans back, and you lift your arms, obeying his command. "Just like that." he kisses your cheek, lips soft and moist as he proceeds to seamlessly unclasp your bra. The material hits the floor, leaving you completely naked, all for him. "So pretty." he pecked your shoulder, hands running along your perfect curves. "Lie on the bed." You walked over to his bed and laid down, head already in a daze-like state. Watching him strip in front of you was a sight to see. Once he was undressed, he climbed on the bed hovering above you; you gripped anything you could reach, one hand tangled in his hair, pulling him closer to you as you eagerly pressed your lips against his. He moaned into your mouth, a little taken aback by your excitement, but he couldn't say he didn't love your sudden enthusiasm for him.
His hard length rubbed across your core, and you needily bucked your hips, grinding yourself against him to feel him more. "I want you so bad." You verbalized your need for him, and again, your lips were meeting his in a messy, desperate kiss.
"Took the words right out of my mouth, sweetheart." A warm feeling spreads through you at his words, and it's definitely not your arousal this time, he leans back, resting his forehead against yours as you both close your eyes and take a breather to catch your bearings.
He lays on top of you fully, your legs wrapping around his waist as he bucks his hips into you, his shaft rubbing your glossy pussy. "So good," he whispers and angles his hips perfectly with your entrance, thrusting forward in one smooth motion, sinking himself within your body. "Y/n," he breathes out, the feeling of your warm walls inviting him in, never once failing to leave him breathless.
"Hee, you're so perfect." You placed your hand on his cheek, the other on his arm, and you couldn't stop yourself from making out with his lips, but he wasn't complaining cause your lips were one of his favorite parts about you.
His thrusts were slower than usual, allowing you to feel every ridge, dip, and curve, even the slightest pulses here and there as his girth filled you up so perfectly, you're sure you'd never find anyone better than him in bed, and you didn't want to. He knew all the right things to say and all the right places to hit to have you a complete mess under his perfect muscular body.
He squeezed the pillow beneath his hands, trying to ground himself as he rutted forward. You took him in so well his balls were touching your soaked outer lips as his tip kissed your cervix with each and every thrust. "Oh fuck” his voice vibrates in his throat, eyes rolling in the back of his head. "You're so amazing, y/n." he bites down hard on his bottom lip. "You feel so good.
You clench at not only his words but the blissed-out expression on his face. He always looked so good while he was stroking deep inside you. "Come here," you chuckled softly, pulling him down by his neck as you kissed him once more.
He knows you so well by now that he doesn't need you to tell him that you're close cause he can feel it. "You must really like my lips, huh?" He giggles, and you're not sure how he could look so cute yet be so sexy at the same time. Little did you know he was thinking the same exact thing about you, too.
"Something like that," you smile, parting from him long enough to say before capturing his lips again.
"Yeah, it's a little something like that for me too," he whispers against your lips, and you can feel him smiling, which in turn makes you smile. Without a doubt, this was the most romantic interaction you've had with each other so far, and you loved every single last second of it, and he's happy he could say the same.
You could barely keep up with his kisses once he started massaging your clit. "Hee-" he cuts through your words, sucking on your tongue softly, his thumb rubbing your tiny pearl faster till you're clasping tightly around him.
"Cum with me," he whispers just as he feels those familiar tingles in his lower stomach. "Y-y/n," he stutters. The sound of him moaning your name does it for you, all the pleasure finally dispersing throughout your system.
"Hee," you held onto him tightly, coming undone right on time with him. This was by far the best sex you've had with each other. The setting was perfect. It was slow, it was intimate, it was everything both of you wanted in the bedroom, and on top of that, there was no smart talk, just you heeseung and his beautifully decorated bed.
You were both panting softly, trying your best to catch your breath after that amazing experience.
He rode out your highs together, gently rolling his hips until the pulsations between your bodies faded away, slowly pulling out so he wouldn't overstimulate either of you.
It was quiet and peaceful, only the sounds of your breaths filling the room, along with the smell of roses and candles. "Thank you for coming over," he smiled softly, giving you a small peck on the lips and covering your bodies with the blankets. You blushed shyly because why the heck was he acting all sweet? Suddenly your heart couldn't take it, you had gotten so used to mean heeseung that seeing him be nice to you felt weird but strangely good, you liked him like this.
Obviously, you got to see the real Heeseung. He was great. He was smart, handsome, and very gentleman-like, and whenever he talked, you could see the passion in his eyes as he went into great detail about whatever he was interested in at that moment. He was the life of any party, and you'd be lying if you said you didn't want to be his friend or maybe even more now that he was being himself around you.
You wished to be included in the conversations he had with others. You wanted him to acknowledge you, and what are you even talking about? This was just meaningless sex between you and him, and none of that was ever gonna happen, but that didn't stop you from at least entertaining the idea a little or maybe even a lot.
You kissed him back as a nonverbal thank you for tonight and he gave you a giddy little smile in return, you were about to get out of bed and do your normal routine then leave cause you didn't want to get used to any of this, knowing it was your last time with him, it was already hard enough just leaving his arms.
"Hey, wait," he quickly grabs your arm, gently pulling you back down into bed with him. "I'm kinda hungry. Do you want anything?" He raises a question, trying not to be too obvious about casually asking you to stay and have dinner with him.
"You're just trying to fuel me up for another round," you say, giggling and pulling away from him.
"Maybe," he smirked, but when he saw you were actually getting ready to leave, he quickly turned serious. "Wait, no, y/n, I'm serious. I'm thinking Chinese or pizza."
"Fine, I'll have pizza." You roll your eyes, attempting not to smile at his kind offer.
"Topping?" He asked as he grabbed his phone off the night stand, his heart racing with excitement and nerves cause so far, the plan was still going accordingly.
"Pepperoni and…."
"Pineapple"
You both say at the same time, and heeseung smiles to himself. "So cute," he whispers to himself typing in the order.
"What?" You say, shocked that he actually knows your order.
"You heard me" he quickly places the order and peels the blankets off his body. "You can use my bathroom to shower and I'll change the sheets."
He says it causally like this is just something the two of you normally do.
"Am I missing something?" You say, confused.
"Not that I'm aware of, no." he puts on a pair of boxers and starts removing the sheets. "Quickly before the food arrives. I don't want you eating it cold, and there's an extra robe in the cabinet," he says, all while never making eye contact with you cause he knows if he did, he'd be a red stuttering mess, he doesn't even know how he kept it together this long.
You stood there speechless because what the fuck was going on in that brain of his for him to treat you this way after everything, or was this just his way of trying to get you to keep coming over for sex now that the contract was over, but you doubt it, he didn't seem like the type and this would be a little extreme just to have sex so why is he doing all this just for you?
You chalked it up to him just being nice to you for once and went on to take your bath. When you opened the bathroom door, you gasped at the sight. It was even more beautiful than his bedroom. There were more candles on the edge of the tub with rose petals at the bottom. An incense was burning, and it smelled so good you never wanted to leave, not to mention the temperature was absolutely perfect.
You opened the cabinet, a fresh white robe waiting for you, just like he said. You put it on and turned on the faucet, running the temperature just right. As you waited for the tub to fill, you used some of the bubble bath he had set up along the edge of the tub. You heard a soft knock, and the door opened behind you a bit later. "Mind if I join you?" Heeseung asked, and you could have sworn he was blushing cause he couldn't even look at you.
"Not at all," you tell him, and he sighs in relief, his shoulders loosening up a bit as he walks over to you and bends down slightly, kissing your forehead.
You stood up on your tippy toes, wrapping your arms around his neck as he undid the string on the front of your robe, letting it hit the floor. You kissed his lips softly and pulled away, running your hands through his nape hairs. He smiled at you lazily, and you don't know why or how, but everything that was happening right now felt so natural, as if you'd been together for years.
You moved your hands from around his neck, and that was his cue to take off his underwear and step into the tub. First, he reached his hand out for you to join him. Once you were both inside, he sat at the back of the tub, guiding you to lay in between his legs, your head automatically resting comfortably on his broad chest as he smoothed his hands all over your skin, caressing your body, it felt so relaxing to be in his arms in the warmth of the tub while he pampered you and kissed your shoulders ever so softly.
He hummed a soothing tune and popped the cap off the body wash, using the vanilla-scented gel to wash your delicate body with. "Hmm, that smells nice. Where did you get it from?" You asked him.
"You know the day we went to the mall and you weren't feeling well?" You hum in acknowledgment.
"Well, you asked for something, so I got all this for you." he was happy you couldn't see his face, but he was sure the erratic pounding in his chest gave him away.
"So you planned all this?" You chuckled.
"Maybe," he laughs softly, kissing the crown of your head.
"Hee, that's so sweet of you, thank you." You reached your arm behind his head, bringing him in for a short kiss.
"You're welcome, y/n." he looked at you with the sweetest eyes you've ever seen, and you didn't want to look away for even a second.
-
An hour passed by, and you both finished your very relaxing bath. He stepped out first and gave you a new, clean robe to change into. "So your clothes are kinda in the washer." he scratched his nape nervously. "But you can wear mine if you want," he suggested hesitantly while wrapping a towel around himself.
"Sure!" You chirped.
"Okay, wait here, and I'll bring you something, okay?" you scrunched your nose up cutely, and he swears it was the most adorable thing he's ever seen.
"Okay," he kissed your cheek, neither of you thinking about how you ended up like this, just deciding to enjoy the moment while it lasted and go with the flow of things.
He leafed through his drawers, finding the smallest shirt he owned, and luckily, he had a pair of unused boxers that you could wear. He brought everything to you and slipped it through the crack of the door opening. "I'll wait outsid-" You grabbed his wrist instead of the clothes, practically dragging him back into the bathroom with you. You appreciate him wanting to give you your privacy, but you didn't mind having him there with you.
You both laughed out loud, you laughing at his shocked face and him laughing at your boldness. "Let me help you," he said, helping you slip your arms through the holes. He grabbed the front of his white button-up shirt, fastening it up for you and kissing you one button at a time. "Knew you'd look so cute in this," he compliments.
"Thank you," you blushed, and he kneeled down, helping you step into his boxers, pulling them all the way up for you, and kissing your hip bone. He finished dressing you, and at this point, you're not even sure how you were coherent cause he literally got on his knees to help you get dressed. Your heart was pounding in your chest, and if you didn't know any better, you'd say you had fallen in love with him at some point tonight.
"All done," he stood up like he didn't just make your heart beat one thousand times faster. “Come on,”
He took your hand in his, stroking it with his thumb, leading you out of the bathroom as he turned off the lights in the bathroom before he went to his drawer, mindlessly dropping his towel at his feet while you sat on the bed he picked out his clothes, and you covered your blushing face it's not like you hadn't seen him naked nearly a hundred times but tonight felt different somehow.
He looked over, and he laughed softly, seeing you going all shy from his nudity.
He got a text on his phone alerting him that the food had arrived, and he mentally gave himself a pat on the back for getting everything right so far. "Wait here." he left and came back into his room a few minutes later with the food, getting comfortable on the bed as he let you take your choice of the first slice.
He grabbed the TV remote, turning on your favorite movie that was already set up on the TV before you even arrived.
"How did you know?" You ask him in surprise cause how the heck did he know your favorite food and movie?
"I don't know." he shrugged and grabbed a slice of pizza, trying to play off the fact that he was blushing.
He cut his eyes at you, and you were clearly still waiting for an answer. "Your first day at school, you mentioned it," he mumbled, getting all shy.
"You remembered? That was like months ago," you asked, your eyes twinkling with excitement.
"I always remember the things that I care about." he looked you straight in the eyes, and you immediately looked away, his gaze far too intense for your poor heart to handle.
He cleared his throat and turned to the movie playing on the screen while you both ate in silence.
Half an hour later, you both finished eating, and he set the empty box on his nightstand along with the cola that he let you have most of. How could he not when you asked him for more so nicely?
He pretended to stretch out and sneakily put his arm around your shoulder, laying back against the bed frame, bringing your body as close to his as humanly possible. His heart melts when you snuggle up to his chest, inhaling his scent, and he thinks now's the perfect time. Everything else went perfect, and there's no way this couldn't go perfect as well.
It just had to.
He stretched his free arm over to the drawer, pulling out the contract that you ripped, which was now taped and pieced all back together. “Y/n?” He calls out to you softly and you look up at him humming in acknowledgment.
He hands you the paper, and you look at the ripped contract. "Why do you still have the-" you stop mid-sentence, eyes going wide when you look at the bottom where there was a new addition.
"I really am not sure what to say, but I'll just say what I feel and hope it makes sense. I know things started out rough, but I've liked you since day one, and I couldn't help but at least try with you, so y/n, even though we said some mean things to each other and did some things with each other that enemies don't do, will you restart with me? I swear it can be like this all the time, and you were right. I was doing all that stuff to get your attention the only way I knew how, and I know it was silly, and I acted like a grade-schooler with a crush, but I'm sorry for spilling all those drinks on you," he pouted, and you couldn't help but laugh softly remembering those times. "And I'm sorry for everything else, too. I was just confused and jealous that I wasn't getting your attention. I just did whatever it took to at least get you to notice me, even if it was negative, and I don't know. I just think you're really special and just a great person overall. I want you in my life. And please tell me if this is too soon, but I've been thinking about it for a long time now, and I'd just like to ask if you'd give me the honor of being your boyfriend?" He holds the pen out for you, his hand shaking with nerves as he looks at you with his soft brown eyes.
This was not what you were expecting when he texted you tonight, but you were not disappointed by any means when you came over, and technically, it wasn't so soon. You'd known him for more than three months, and you saw what kind of guy he was when he was around his friends, not to mention you were literally wearing his clothes in his bed after eating the food he bought for you, and he treated you to an evening full of everything you could ever wish for you'd never forget the fun you had with him tonight and there wasn't any reason you could see to say no to him and on top of everything else yeji had the best friends ever and you trusted her judgment as much as you trusted Heeseung's intentions with you.
"YES!" you snatched the pen from his hand excitedly, enthusiastically circling the check box that said yes.
You put the paper down, hugging him so tight he could barely breathe, but he didn't care cause you just made him the happiest man on the planet. "Thank you for giving me a chance." he hugs you back, running his hand along your back.
"I should be the one thanking you. I'm sorry for everything, too; I never meant any of it." You booped the point of his nose. "You're not a pig, and you're not ugly in the mornings, and I don't hate you."
"Aww, It's okay, baby. I forgive you. You forgive me?" he laughs softly.
"Of course." You both smiled as he went in for a quick peck.
“You smell so good.” he buries his face in the crook of your neck, and you giggle shyly.
“Thank you, baby” you reply sheepishly.
"So, by the way, where do you want the wedding to be?" he says out of nowhere, shocking you.
"What?" You pulled away from his hug, confusion written all over your face. "What wedding?"
"Make sure you always read the fine print, baby. Now you're stuck with me." You both broke out into a fit of laughter, nothing but happiness reflecting in each other's eyes.
After your laughter died down a bit, you pouted, remembering what started this whole mess between you two in the first place.
"But wait, I thought you hated me."
"I never said that. You said you hated me!"
-
The next day at school, you and Heeseung arrived early, going to hang out with the rest of the group outside on the park bench where you all first met. You sat side by side, and heeseung rested his head on your shoulder. He was literally clinging to you all morning long. He didn't let you do anything without some part of him touching you, and you didn't mind cause you thought it was the cutest thing ever how he went from ignoring you to not being able to separate himself from you.
Your friend's jaws were dropped to the ground when they saw the two of you being so close to each other.
"Okay, what the fuck? I think we missed a few episodes here," Sunghoon says.
Jay laughs, nodding his head in agreement. "I think we missed the whole damn series."
Heeseung smiled softly at your guy's friends and nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck, his hands wrapping around your waist as you ran your fingers through his shiny black hair, causing all your friends to fake gag at the blatant show of affection.
"Not a series, just 90 days." You smiled and rested your head on top of Heeseung's.
"I was there for the sneak peek preview!" Jake stood up and shouted, his fist held up in the air triumphantly. He had a feeling about the two of you practically from the start, but he couldn't give himself too much credit. You guys were a little obvious from the start, especially heeseung. Sunghoon quickly yanked him back down by his wrist so he'd stop shouting in the early morning.
You laughed at the two, shaking your head softly as heeseung tightened his hold around you. And who knew that a contract could change your life? This was the best summer ever and going to be the best fall with your boyfriend by your side, and though you both started on the wrong side, everything worked out in the end, all thanks to Heeseung and his contract….
90 days of pleasure.
FIN.
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90 days of pleasure taglist🔖 @capri-cuntz @heeseungshim @haelahoops @kimochiloveshee @heesoo11 @hoonxclsvly @yjwluvs @rizzhee @hanjisunginc @enpynhee @zerasari @parksunghoonsgf @ionlyreadforfanfics @heesquared @rayofsunshineeee @heeoao @iamliacamila @moktahiya @nycapartmentsworld @enwrites @adeoluhh @meiskra @jungwoning8 @fakeuwus @littlelilies @wooziswife @jongsaengjay @heehoonsnemo @eneiyri @chubbypeach2111 @kaykay11sworld @eskopiganja @live-your-wild-life @chasing-acid @jakehooni @haesgurl6 @hello-stranger24 @en-happiness @alienqbrain @jvjsssnaa @amortapes @parkchimmylove @ethelia @seochannnn @httpsneptvnn @httpsrinrin @nellwoo @pasteltheghost16 @swimmingmoonmentality @mwahvvis @browniestraykidshiteu @rikisly @perfectnighttt @euphoric-tama @enha-enhypen @mimimovv @wannieepisod @nctislifue
Permanent taglist🔖 @moon7jay @heesitation @hee-pster @furious-eagle @hoyeonheeseung
Thank you for reading. Please reblog and leave feedback. - 🐹
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dollarbils · 6 months ago
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tell me i’m your only fan | b.eilish
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billie eilish x fem!reader
context. your most active fan on onlyfans soon piqued your interest as she became something much more.
warnings. phone sex, ofstar!reader, (i probably made up half of the features on onlyfans)
request masterlist
regardless of the public opinion, you quite liked your job. you’d made the switch to onlyfans just recently, finding it a much more comfortable platform, and most importantly: much more profitable.
most of your ‘fans’ so to say were the regular dynamic of people you’d expect. rich, older men with nothing better to spend all their money on. but curiously, a huge part of your audience was women. in particular one woman. your favourite, you’d call her. she’d been subscribed for about a month now, consistently watching your uploads and streams. often taking the spotlight as well, sending gifts and paying large amounts of money for personalised content. but what seriously did it for you, was when she bought your entire wish list five minutes after you’d published it, requesting a special ‘unboxing’ of everything she’d bought you.
naturally, it didn’t take long for you to start talking. it was difficult to remember she was one of your fans, your conversations straying far away from anything you’d ever talked to a fan about. she seemed to care about you, take interest in your personal life. and once you’d gotten wrapped up, it was almost too easy to get attached.
“god just keep speaking, baby.” her voice was almost a whine, as she relished in your soft laughter and emotive expression.
“how are you always turned on?” you remarked somewhat as a joke, knowing it was true though.
“i’m talking to the woman i jerk off to, i think it’s justified.” she never failed to be bold, often taking you by surprise.
“well you’ll find my recent uploads have been the outcome of what some would call a ‘muse’. you’re quite sexy yourself, babe.” she groaned and it went straight to your core, the familiar pulse settling in.
“jesus. it’s like your tryna make be bust a nut in my pants right now.” the masculinity to her words only made them more filthy, urging you to rile her up some more.
“i won’t deny it.” she chuckled, a momentary pause before she sighed.
“i bet you tell that to all of them, huh? your fans, they all think they got lucky, that your reserved for them.” her words stung quite a bit, knowing the truth was far from it.
“hardly, it was pretty stupid of me to give you my number. i’d take it as a sign that you did get lucky.” she almost scoffed at your words.
“i’m going to need to cut back on the glazing if your gonna act like this.” she was serious now, testing the waters before committing.
“oh yeah? tell me what’s so wrong with my behaviour.” a low sound from the back of her throat revealed the success of your words. clearly it was turning her on.
“you’re really testing me, baby. you can’t even imagine what i’d do if i was there with you right now.” you felt a pool in your underwear forming, liking how this was going.
“please, tell me.” her breath hitched, her confidence faltering slightly. but when she spoke again you’d never have questioned her confidence.
“i’d treat you like what you are. a fucking slut.” her filthy words only turned you on more, your skin tingling at the sound of her heavy breaths through the phone speaker.
“oh yeah? and what are you gonna do about it? you’re not here, you cant stop me from doing anything.” she chuckled, a mocking tone following.
“oh please angel, it’s cute you think so. i bet your hand is doing some filthy things as we speak. am i turning you on, baby?” your hand stopped at your lower stomach in an act of a sort of shame, your breaths quickening.
“i’m guessing the silence means i’m right. don’t deny yourself babe, touch yourself for me.” you couldn’t help but follow her demands, seeking your own pleasure along with your submission.
“fuck.” she laughed softly, again, enjoying the vocal effect she was having on you.
“you’re gonna kill me angel.” a smile formed on your lips, as you continued pumping your own fingers into your heat.
“tell me i’m your only fan.” her words were seductive, a plea to recognise her as more than a fan.
“you’re my favourite fan.” your reply seemed to satisfy her as she sunk deeper into her mattress, the sheets ruffling through the phone as she bit back a moan.
“are you close?” she mumbled, evidently riddled with her own sweat release.
“fuck, y-yeah.” you stuttered, the heat of the moment taking over, fogging up your senses.
“i like that title, favourite fan. sure seems well deserved, doesn’t it.”
“more than well deserved.” you huffed, slightly out of breath as you chuckled into the phone.
part 2
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miyasmagnolias · 13 days ago
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𝐡𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐬 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐞 𓂇⋆⭒˚。⋆
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miya atsumu x f!reader
you invite atsumu and the boys to your spring dance showcase to raise money for a good cause — and maybe get even after the viral video incident. atsumu, on the other hand? he just wants to ask you out and, if he's lucky, kiss you properly this time around.
part eleven of the in close quarters series, a friends-to-lovers college AU featuring you, atsumu, and the ten months you spend living together senior year.
a/n: a tiny bit of lore, but i used to dance throughout college (and still do to this day), so this one was super fun to write. enjoy! ( ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)
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"So...what kind of dance does she do again?"
"Uh..." Atsumu blinked down at the bouquet of flowers like they might contain the answer to Suna's question. "Hip-hop, I think?"
Osamu locked his car and shot his twin brother a judgmental glare. "Haven't ya lived with her for, like, eight months now? Shouldn't ya know what type of dance she does?"
"How am I supposed to know?! It's not like she performs for me in the livin' room or anythin'!"
Osamu's face twisted in disgust. "Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't ya?”
Atsumu's face turned beet red. "The fuck is that supposed to mean — ?!"
"To be fair," Aran interjected, ever the pacifist. "Modern dance can blend together a lot of styles — jazz, ballet, hip-hop. It's really not as cut and dry as people think it is."
"See?" Atsumu said, grateful to his team captain for coming to his defense. "It's not as cut and dry as ya think it is!"
Aran gave him a flat stare in return. "Still, I find it baffling that you didn't think to ask."
The four former Inarizaki boys began the long trek from their parallel parking spot to The Bloom Room — a seventies-inspired cocktail lounge nestled in-between campus and downtown. Your university dance troupe had partnered with the small business to host your annual spring showcase, the event doubling as a community-wide fundraiser for a handful of local nonprofits.
Invite the volleyball boys, too! you'd texted Atsumu a few weeks back, along with the link to buy tickets. We need as many people there as possible. The more drinks you buy, the more goes to charity!
Atsumu didn't exactly know who you meant by the 'volleyball boys' — Osamu and Suna didn't really count anymore, and Sakusa wouldn't be caught dead in a place like The Bloom Room. Aran, on the other hand, was a welcome surprise, the captain of the men's volleyball team happily agreeing to go when Atsumu brought it up to him after practice the other day.
"I'll do anything for a good cause," he'd said, though the fluorescent lights of the locker room did nothing to hide his amused expression. "Did you end up wooing her with your extensive knowledge of Pride and Prejudice?"
"I was not tryin' to 'woo' her — I was tryin' to help her with an essay!" Atsumu exclaimed, slamming his locker door shut. "There's a big difference."
"You stopped reading every other sentence just so you could ask me what it meant," Aran said dryly, recalling the two-hour flight back from their first away game. Off the court, he'd never seen Atsumu more concentrated. “If anything, you needed help.”
Atsumu shot his team captain an offended glare. "At least I finished the damn thing. It got good — ya know, once I got used to all the ol' timey English."
Aran folded his arms across his chest and exhaled slowly. "Look, it's clear you've got feelings for this girl. So in addition to reading her favorite books and kissing her on the cheek after games, why don't you just ask her out?"
The setter shifted uncomfortably on his feet. It wasn't as if the thought hadn't crossed his mind before — just that every time it did, it was accompanied by the worst possible outcomes he could think of. Him, finally working up the courage to ask you out. You, laughing in his face. Him, having to sleep in the room next to yours every day while he died of embarrassment. Just thinking about it made Atsumu want to yak.
It was much easier to flirt with you than to actually admit that he liked you, he'd realized. In fact, Atsumu kind of hoped you'd be the first to acknowledge it. He'd dropped more than enough hints for you to catch on.
But as your spring semester continued without so much as a peep, Atsumu realized he didn't have much time left. He needed to fess up to you before you graduated and went on to become a publishing mogul or a Pulitzer Prize winner — or whatever the hell English honors students went on to do after college.
The plan was simple: get you alone after the show, hand you the bouquet he'd spent nearly an hour picking out. Pop the question while somehow keeping his ego intact. Easy peasy.
At least, he thought it was.
"Oh, are you here for Y/N?" a girl with large hoop earrings and a handkerchief for a top said when Atsumu approached the check-in table. "You're her roommate, right? She's told us so much about you!"
"She didn't tell us you'd be bringing a whole team with you," another drawled, twirling a long braid around her perfectly manicured fingers as she sized up his friends. "Sheesh."
Despite himself, a stupid grin broke out on Atsumu's face. "She talks about me?"
The two girls exchanged humored looks from across the table.
"Let's just say she's gonna really love the flowers," the one with the braids replied with a smack of her gum.
"Wish my boyfriend bought me flowers," the one with the earrings chuckled, stamping the back of Atsumu's hand. "Enjoy the show!"
The Bloom Room was bathed in sultry purple lights as Atsumu and his group navigated the crowd of friends and family that had shown up for that evening's showcase. The high-top tables and stools had been cleared out to make room for a dance floor, with rows of folding chairs now lining the perimeter of the space.
"It's awfully intimate, ain't it?" Osamu observed as he sat next to Atsumu in the row closest to the dance floor.
"I'ma grab a drink," Suna quipped, already making a beeline for the bar. Meanwhile, their phones pinged in unison. It was from you.
Are you here yet?? you'd asked in the group chat you had created with all four of them. Did you get good seats?
Atsumu's fingers were already flying across the keyboard.
Yep, front row! Break at leg! Then, before he could stop himself, he added a pink heart emoji and hit send.
"Whoa," Aran said, blinking back at the text message not a moment later. "A heart? Things must be getting pretty serious."
"Shaddup," Atsumu tsked, folding his arms across his chest. At Osamu and Aran's bemused stares, he asked, "What? It ain't the red one! The red one is the serious one!"
"Dunno, man," Aran teased as Osamu stifled his laugh. "A heart's a heart."
Atsumu's confident expression faltered as he said, "W-Well, do ya think it's too much? Should I edit it?”
"I think it's a little late for that," Osamu drawled just as their phones pinged again. They all looked down at their screens.
Great! you'd replied, hearting Atsumu's message. Can someone take a video of me pwease?
On it, Suna texted back. He returned a few minutes later with a tequila soda in-hand.
"Dude," he murmured as he sat back down. "What was up with that frilly pink heart? Keep that shit to yourselves."
Atsumu rolled his eyes.
"Good evening, everyone! Take your seats, take your seats," the girl with the hoop earrings said into the microphone as the remainder of the crowd settled in with their drinks. "My name's Mina, and I'd like to personally welcome you to the Silk Club's third annual spring showcase!"
A wave of applause ricocheted through the venue.
"We've got an incredible lineup of talent here tonight representing several on-campus dance orgs, so sit back, relax, and enjoy the show," she said. "As a reminder, all ticket and drink proceeds go towards our city's women's shelter and the center for LGBTQIA+ youth, so I encourage you to get as drunk as humanly possible! It's for a great cause!"
Laughter and applause rippled across the crowd. Beside Atsumu, Suna tipped his cup back until all that was left was ice.
"Now without further ado, I have the pleasure of introducing to you our opening act," Mina continued. "The Silk Club is a group of young women whose mission is to feel empowered and body confident in their dance. This is their third year hosting their annual spring showcase in support of the local nonprofit community, and they are incredibly excited to perform for you all tonight. I myself have been a part of this team for two years now, and I can confidently say there's no other group I'd rather shake ass with to raise money. So without further ado, give it up for Silk!"
The crowd whooped and hollered as several silhouetted figures emerged from the back room and assumed formation on the dance floor. Meanwhile, Atsumu's heart kicked up a notch as he scanned the shadows to find you. Beside him, Osamu frowned.
"Shake ass?" Osamu repeated under his breath. "Don't tell me — "
He was promptly cut off as the opening chords to Mariah Carey's "Obsessed" blared through the speakers, the spotlight flickering on to reveal you — in the tiniest black tube top and skirt — staring back at the audience with a sultry pout on your face.
Aran's eyes widened. Suna nearly choked on his ice. Osamu ran a hand over his face and glanced toward his brother, who — for all intents and purposes — looked like he was about to have a stroke.
Because you were hot. Nay — you were hot as fuck.
And everyone in that room knew it, too.
"I thought she did hip-hop!" Aran yelled over the music as you danced across the floor in your stiletto heels, your confidence radiating with every body roll, every hair flip.
"Dunno what kind of hip-hop you're watching, but this certainly isn't it," Suna shot back dryly, having already hit the record button on his phone.
Except Atsumu wasn't even listening. All that occupied his brain was you. Batting your eyelashes at the audience. Rocking the headscarf you'd styled into your long hair. Touching yourself in places that made Atsumu feel faint. He'd seen you dance before, sure, but never like this. Never in front of other people with that assertive smirk on your face. You looked like the seventh member of Katseye, only prettier. How hadn't he known this about you?
"Why you so obsessed with me? Boy, I wanna know..."
The crowd went completely ballistic as all the girls on your team planted their hands on the sticky floor and shook ass in perfect unison. Only then did Atsumu notice the phone in Suna's hands.
"Would ya not film my roommate's ass like that?" he stammered, doing a double-take.
Suna merely shrugged and said, "What? She asked me to."
Then, before Atsumu could argue further, you were sauntering up to him. Soft smile. Pouty lips. Eyes that could disarm him in an instant. You ran a delicate finger along the curve of his jaw, tilted his chin up to look at you. And winked.
For fuck's sake.
"I think you can see the exact moment his soul leaves his body," Suna deadpanned, scrubbing through the video after you and your teammates had struck the final pose to the sounds of ear-splitting applause.
Osamu elbowed his brother in the ribs and said, "Ya alright in there, Tsumu?"
Atsumu just stared at the dance floor as you and your teammates took your bows. Brain empty. Face steadily draining of color. His grip tightened around the bouquet in his lap as he tried to careen himself back to earth.
Asking you out was going to be way harder than he thought.
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Atsumu's heart rate more-or-less returned to normal after that, the rest of the show featuring a variety of modern dance crews, cultural clubs, and K-Pop cover groups. Nothing as outrageous as the opener, but perhaps that was for the best. Atsumu didn't need his nervous system compromised for a second time that night — especially with the question he was about to ask you after the show.
The Silk Club closed the showcase with a much tamer, less anxiety-inducing routine to "Rocket" by Doechii, the choreography maintaining your team's signature charm while showcasing your versatility of style. Atsumu cheered for you as you danced your heart out in the center of the room, your energy infectious as the music coursed through your every muscle. From your cheeky smile down to the soles of your sneakers, it was clear you loved being up there. The entire time, Atsumu couldn't stop grinning.
He was the first to give you a standing ovation by the end.
"Seems like Atsumu isn't the only one who can work a crowd," Aran drawled in amusement, standing up so he could clap for you properly. Beside him, Suna snapped about a million pictures.
Osamu merely hummed in agreement and said, "Pretty sure this is the first time he's been more enamored by someone other than himself."
As usual, Atsumu didn't hear a damn thing — just clapped his brother on the shoulder and said, "I'll be right back."
Several families and friend groups had since flooded the dance floor to reunite with their performers, Atsumu shouldering his way through with the bouquet clutched to his chest. Your friend Haru had found you first and was currently gushing to you about your performance, Atsumu maintaining his distance for several nerve-wracking seconds before your eyes eventually latched onto his. Your face broke out into the sunniest smile he'd ever seen, and by God. You were beautiful.
You said goodbye to Haru and made your way towards him. His arms found purchase around your waist as he lifted you several inches off the ground and squeezed you as hard as you could.
"Hi," he murmured into your hair. It smelled of your sweat and shampoo.
"Hi," you whispered back, your voice warm and breathless. "What did you think of the show?"
"I..." Atsumu trailed off, the mental image of you throwing it back flashing across his mind. "I didn't know ya could move like that, that's for sure."
A chuckle rumbled out of you as he set you down. You adjusted the oversized jersey you had changed into for the finale and said, "Yeah. I'm a little embarrassed that you and your friends got a full view of my ass, but it's whatever."
"Well, for what it's worth, it looked good." Then, after realizing what the fuck he'd just said, "You. Y-You looked good, I meant. Shit."
You were full-on laughing at this point. "That's high praise, coming from the king of low sets himself."
The tips of his ears turned red as he finally remembered the bouquet in his hands.
"These are for ya," he said, watching your eyes soften as he gave them to you. You lifted your nose to the assortment of wildflowers like you did with all of your books. "Ya looked incredible up there, Y/N. Seriously."
"...thank you, Tsumu." A shy smile worked its way onto your features before you admitted, "No one's ever gotten me flowers before."
"Ya bein' serious right now?" he asked, equal parts surprised and pleased with himself. You nodded. "Well, that's only cause ya haven't invited the right people before."
You rolled your eyes. "The right people being you?"
"Damn straight," he said, already reaching for you a second time. "Come 'ere."
He wrapped his arms around you in the middle of the crowded dance floor, his cheek resting against the crowd of your head. Relaxing into his embrace, you listened to his heartbeat through this shirt. Steady. Grounding. A little fast. But then again, so was yours.
You craned your neck to look him in the eye. He gazed down at you like you were the only other person in that entire room.
Pulse picking up speed, Atsumu slowly leaned in until he was a mere breath away from grazing your lips against his.
But before he could kiss you, someone was already calling your name.
"Y/N!" Mina hollered, the both of you jumping backwards like two guilt-ridden teenagers. She scanned the dense crowd from the front of the room like a mother who'd just lost her child at the zoo. "Y/N, where the hell are ya?! We're taking a group picture!"
Clearing his throat, Atsumu adjusted the collar of his jacket and tried to channel whatever nonchalance was left in his body. Beside him, you haphazardly tried to fix your hair. The two of you locked eyes once more and, gradually, started to laugh.
"Go," Atsumu said, jerking his chin towards your teammates. "Don't keep 'em waiting."
Mashing your lips together, you looked like you wanted to argue. But your teammates were already calling your name.
"Come out to eat with us afterwards?" you offered, a hopeful expression on your face. "I think a handful of us are going to that new Korean spot downtown. You can bring the boys, too."
Chuckling, Atsumu nodded. "Sure. We'll be there."
"...okay," you eventually managed. It did little to mask the dazed, if not mildly disappointed expression on your face. "I'll see you soon."
And with that, you disappeared into the crowd.
"Ya boys in the mood for Korean food?" Atsumu asked his friends when he found them lingering outside the restrooms.
"Why, what happened?" Osamu asked, shooting his brother a grin. "Yer plan fall through?"
"Yep," Atsumu quipped, throwing an arm around Osamu's shoulders. "I'm 'bout to drown my sorrows in an army stew."
"At least you gave her the bouquet," Aran offered, drying his damp hands on his jeans. "You only spent half the afternoon picking it out."
"Seriously," Suna mumbled, eyes never leaving his phone. "You owe us dinner for the amount of moral support we're showing you right now."
The three of them debated how many dishes to order the entire car ride there. Meanwhile, Atsumu stared out the window, wondering when the hell he'd be able to get you alone.
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"I never thought I'd see the day someone actually outdrank Mina," you giggled, fumbling with your keys to the apartment. "How much soju did Suna have?"
"I dunno, but he was scarily composed after all those domino shots," Atsumu murmured as you both entered through the front door and turned on all the lights. "Passed out like a light in the backseat, though."
Even though he'd barely managed to talk to you during dinner, it was surprisingly fun to see you relax for once. You were excited to introduce Atsumu and his friends to the people you had danced with for the past several months, grateful to see everyone get along so well in between spoonfuls of bubbling hot pot.
"It's nice to finally meet the best roommate she's ever had," Mina had teased, already four shots in. She flung a sweaty arm around your shoulders and said, "Her words, not mine!"
At that, Atsumu raised an eyebrow and grinned. "The best, huh?"
Maybe it was the alcohol, but he swore your face turned two shades redder at that.
Now, Atsumu watched from across the kitchenette as you meticulously trimmed the flowers he'd gotten for you, your fingers nimble as you arranged each one into a vase. The gentle hum of the air conditioner filled the silence between you, along with the rhythmic snip of your scissors.
Without looking up, you said, "You're staring."
"Am I?" Atsumu drawled, a smile toying on his lips. "Was just admirin’ yer makeup. Is that what they call a full beat?"
You nearly choked on your laughter. "Where did you learn that from? TikTok?"
He lifted a noncommittal shoulder. "I have my sources."
Smiling, you said, "Well, would you be so kind as to grab my makeup remover from the bathroom? I've been dying to get this off."
Five minutes later, Atsumu poured himself a glass of water as you tried removing your eye makeup with a soaked cotton round, a dark streak of eyeliner now smudged halfway across your face.
"Did I get it?" you asked, blinking at Atsumu from where you sat atop the kitchen counter. Laughing, he put down his glass and began wiping it himself.
"I like when you look like this," he confessed, gently dragging the cotton round across your skin.
Frowning, you said, "Like a rabid raccoon?"
"No, ya twerp. Ya know what I mean."
You didn't say anything for a long while as he continued removing your makeup. You felt your face warm beneath his touch as he did so.
"Thank you for coming to the showcase tonight."
"Of course. I wouldn't have missed it for the world." Then, after a brief pause, "Ya know, as the best roommate you've ever had."
You groaned. "I'm never gonna live that down, am I?"
"Not a chance," Atsumu drawled. He cupped your cheeks with both of his hands and inspected your face from different angles beneath the warm kitchen lights. "There. Squeaky clean."
Neither of you moved as you realized just how close you'd gotten to each other. You, your knees grazing against his torso. Him, the warmth of his palms sending a pulse of electricity down your spine.
"Atsumu..." you breathed, your voice merely a croak.
"...yeah?" he managed, brown eyes searching yours for something — anything — to indicate that you wanted him closer.
"...is there a reason you're always so nice to me?"
Lips parting, he said, "I think ya know why."
You closed the gap and kissed him not a moment later.
Now, Atsumu had imagined what it would be like to kiss you — had even dreamt about it, embarrassingly enough. But nothing, nothing compared to the way your lips worked against his now, each movement slow. Deliberate. Almost like you were asking a question.
You like me? you seemed to ask, fingers curling into his t-shirt, pulling him closer. Atsumu merely cupped the back of your head and deepened the kiss, the feeling of his tongue against yours extinguishing all doubt from your mind.
Yes, he thought, melting into you completely. Yes. I always have.
He braced his hands on either side of the kitchen counter, boxing you in. Your hands slid into his hair. A low moan escaped the back of his throat when you parted your legs for him and wrapped them around his waist. Fuck. He couldn't believe this was happening right now.
But before he let himself fall any further, he had one thing left to ask.
"Wait — wait," he stammered, pulling away from you suddenly. Lips swollen. Hair disheveled. Heart hammering in his chest.
At your confused expression, he asked, "Will ya go to dinner with me?"
Your chest rose and fell as a bemused look crossed your features. "Are you asking me out right now?"
Atsumu gulped back and said, "I just...I wanna be sure I do this right."
Heart twinging at his words, your hands gently traveled down from his hair to cup both of his cheeks.
"You know, I thought you'd never ask," you drawled, eyes gleaming in adoration as you beheld him. Your roommate. Your friend. Your best friend, if you were being totally honest. "I'd love to."
The stupid grin that broke out on his face had you pulling him in for another kiss.
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a/n: thank you for the love on these past couple of chapters, y'all! i'm slowly but surely responding to messages and comments — but in the meantime, please know that i appreciate all of you for reading this sappy lil' fic of mine. it means the world to me.
(next chapter will cover atsumu and y/n's first date mwahaha. stay tuned.)
@miyasmagnolias, 2025
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moonstruckme · 3 months ago
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hi lovely! could i please request poly jily and lipstick and a split lip! love you and your writing ❤️❤️
Thanks angel!
cw: brief mention of blood
poly!Jily x fem!reader ♡ 837 words
You’re all three bundled in your coats as you walk home, the nights still cold despite the warming days and the fair bit of alcohol in each of you. James is teasing Lily for her decision to wear a skirt in between offerings of his coat. 
“Mine works just as well as yours,” she insists, shivering. 
“No, but mine’s longer is the point. You’ve got those poor lovely legs completely exposed to the elements.” 
Lily gives him a wry (loving) look. Her legs are somewhat shorter than James’, but somehow she manages to walk so doggedly you’re both hurrying to keep up. “You really want me to stop so we can switch coats. That’s what you think I should do.” 
“I’d never tell you what to do,” James says automatically. You grin; your boyfriend is a smart man. “I’m only saying that while you look beautiful, you also look cold, and perhaps my longer coat could help with that.” 
“We’re almost home,” you point out. Your partners have managed to bicker entertainingly most of the way back from Marlene’s party. You’re within a couple blocks of your flat now. 
It’s a relief. The evening has been fun, but you don’t know a one of James’ friends that doesn’t make big to-do out of their birthday; between the getting dressed up, the dinner, and then the party itself at Marlene’s place, you’re very eager to get back to your own home, where your face wash and lip balm and your very warm comforter live. 
James takes you in. Your quick strides, head lowered against the wind, both arms crossed over your (unfortunately rather thin) coat. You and Lily have been luckless companions in your underestimation of the weather. 
“You look cold,” observes James. 
“I bet you say that to all your girlfriends.” 
He laughs. “Here, angel, take my coat.” 
“I don’t want your coat.” You swerve out of his reach, though he’s already taking it off. “Really, James, we’re nearly there.” 
“Yours is awful!”
“Why do you want to be rid of your coat so badly?” Lily asks, fishing out the key to your flat as you near the steps. 
“I’m trying to be chivalrous! Why will nobody have my coat?” 
“Chauvinist,” you quip. 
“All I’m offering is a decent coat, and of course I get cruelty in return.” 
“You think your coat must be so much better than either of ours, hm?” 
“It is! Yours is too short and yours is too thin.” Lily smiles as she unlocks the door, clearly enjoying watching you rile James. He throws up his hands. “I won’t be gaslit.” 
“You really think it’s your coat, or is it just that your oh-so-superior man body is keeping you warm?” 
James pushes you through the door to your flat as soon as it’s open, playfully rough. It’s unusual enough to startle a giggle out of you as you back away from him. “I’ll show you what my man body is good for,” he promises. 
You nearly trip over your own feet, laughing while James backs you down the hall until your thighs hit the edge of your bed. You hear Lily bolt the door. Her footsteps follow at an easier pace, but James is already ravaging you. 
“It’s not—chivalrous—” you manage between kisses, “if you’re only offering to—to—” 
“No, go on, finish.” James links his fingers through yours, kissing repeatedly at your top lip as you fight to contain your smile. “I wanna hear your thoughts on how sexist I am for—oh. Ouch.” 
For a moment you think you’ve hurt him somehow. You let your head fall back against the mattress, looking him over worriedly. It doesn’t occur to you that the ouch was in sympathy. 
“Sorry, lovie.” James sets his thumb to your lower lip. You recall why you’d been so desperate for chapstick a few minutes ago.  
“What did you do?” asks Lily, half weary and half fond. She’s well accustomed to the outcomes of you and James’ play fights. When she leans around him to see, her pretty features pull into a frown. “Oh,” she coos. 
It’s altogether too much concern for a split lip. “It’s fine.” You touch the origin of the sting, finding only a bit of blood on your fingertip. “Don’t be sorry.”
“This is what happens when I make you smile too hard,” James says mournfully. 
It makes you smile again. Both your partners tut at you for it. 
“Let’s keep the damage to a minimum,” Lily chides him, though she’s smiling too. She cups your cheek as you sit up, inspecting your lip. “It’s sort of hard to tell with your lipstick,” she says. “You look so lovely, sweetheart, but maybe it’s time to switch it out for some lip balm?” 
“Yeah,” you agree. Lily follows you into the bathroom. 
“Oh, is it time for the face washes?” James asks eagerly, getting up too.
“You’re not allowed to help anymore,” Lily reminds him. “You waste too much product.” 
“I know, just let me watch, yeah?” 
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moonlight-alexia · 5 months ago
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forever with you | a.p.
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alexia putellas x reader | 2.5k | forever with you sounds perfect to alexia, there isn't anyone else she'd rather be with / alexia proposing to you
italics indicate that it's a little memory/flashback
ˏˋ°•*⁀ it is officially the 4th here in aus, my favourites birthday <3 so here is a little alexia fic for her birthday. i hope you all enjoy it
‘Ah mi amor,’ You let out a small laugh as Alexia gently grabbed your wrist and pulled you onto her lap. You’d both been caught up in celebrating the supercopa win, along with Alexia and her captain duties, you hadn’t seen much of each other, ‘I’ve missed you,’ You let out a soft sigh, smiling as she tucked your hair behind your ear.
‘I’m here now Ale,’ Leaning into her touch you placed a kiss on the corner of her mouth, lightly teasing her.
Though Alexia wasn’t having any of that and swiftly pulled you in for a kiss. Your lips softly brushing against each other, adding more pressure and deepening the kiss.
‘Dios mío, get a room,’ You heard Mapi yell before something soft was hitting you both making you pull apart. A silent agreement between you and Alexia that you were both ready to go back to your hotel room. Wanting to spend some time where it was just the two of you.
Alexia was already in bed when you came back from the bathroom. You always took a lot more care and had a much more in depth skincare routine than Alexia did so it was quite common for her to already be in bed, waiting for you. More times than not after a big match like the one you just played today, Alexia would already be asleep, even if she’d wake slightly when you slipped in beside her and protest that she was just resting her eyes and not really asleep. 
But the protests always died when you’d pull her into your side, arm wrapped around Alexia’s waist, her neck snuggled in the crook of yours, a soft kiss on her forehead and she’d be back asleep within seconds.
Though tonight, even though she was physically tired, Alexia knew she wasn’t going to get the best sleep tonight. Even with the thought of being cuddled up against your side, the weight of the ring she had in her bag, packed so delicately and very well hidden in case you went to grab anything out of her bag like you normally did, would be on her mind all night.
No matter what the outcome of the final, Alexia had the proposal planned. Perfectly planned exactly how she knew you would like. Planned 
‘Ale, did you need-,’ Except, those plans went out the window the moment she looked up at you as you were making your way to bed. You were wearing one of Alexia’s hoodies, the one that you’d claimed as your own when the two of you first started dating. Your favourite of Alexia’s and you’d always make sure she wore it right before you’d go to your respective national teams. Helped you sleep better before matches if it felt like Alexia was there next to you.
Most of Alexia’s clothes were slightly too big on you and the hoodie was just that. Your hair you had messily put up in a bun, not caring how it looked since it was only up so it wouldn’t get in your way when going through your nightly routine knowing you would take it out the second you got into bed. The warmth of the light from the lamp hitting your skin just right, along with the natural glow of your skin. 
To Alexia, in this light you looked utterly beautiful, no words could accurately describe just how gorgeous you are. At least none that could ever do it justice in Alexia’s eyes. It’s in moments like this that Alexia wishes she could take photos with her eyes, she just wants you to see and understand how you are to her. As if the small smile and dreamy look in her eyes whenever her gaze landed upon yours wouldn’t tell you on its own. You were the one for her and she never let you feel any other way or leave room for you to doubt her feelings for you.
Alexia’s known for a while that she wants to marry you. You stole her heart and never gave it back, not that she minded you kept it safe and unbroken. It was a moment quite similar to this one right now when Alexia realised that she wanted to officially spend forever with you.
It had been a long day at training, even more so since you’d lost the last game. Losing wasn’t something you’d often come across these days playing at Barcelona, but it wasn’t something that you could avoid forever. The lows always helped to make the wins feel that much better. 
There was always an intensity to training and after a loss it was always much more intense. So going home, the home you shared and built together with your girlfriend, made these days feel that much better. 
‘Ale,’ You softly sighed, turning your head so you were looking up at her, ‘You’re sending me to sleep and it’s still so early,’ You were laying with your head on Alexia’s lap, a movie on in the background while she was caught up with, you were sure it was, something related to football on her ipad. Her fingers gently playing with your hair and, every now and then,  running softly along the back of your neck. 
‘Mi vida, just relax,’ Alexia’s attention was fully on you now, leaning down lightly kissing the top of your head, ‘You deserve it cariño,’ The softness in which she spoke to you always made your heart flutter and your body fill with warmth. She knew how hard you worked and how you struggled to let yourself rest when you needed it. 
Alexia peppered your face with soft kisses, deliberately skipping your lips each time she got close, ‘Amor,’ You whined softly, Alexia smiled, her hand tracing along your jaw while her lips hovered above yours. You were about to whine again when she let them connect. A slow, deep kiss, lips lingering against yours momentarily when she pulled away. 
‘Te amo,’ You whispered it back, both of you in your own little bubble, ‘Now rest, I’m right here if you need me, not going anywhere,’ 
Alexia gently rubbed along your back while you curled up even more against her. It didn’t take long for you to allow yourself to relax with Alexia, it had always come naturally. At the end of the day her arms were your safety, whatever happened during the day didn’t matter as long as you were in her embrace.
The glow of the afternoon sun slipped through the bottom of the blinds, the glow illuminating your face. Some days your schedules were packed full, so Alexia always enjoyed these quiet moments with you. Whatever she had been doing on her ipad was fully forgotten, she was captivated by you. 
The thought of forever with you, of marrying you, popped into her head that day. Realising that she would be content with spending every moment of her life with you, wanting to share every moment and achievement with you. Knowing that without you by her side she wouldn’t feel completely whole. From that day she’d started planning and trying to figure out the perfect proposal, though Alexia would never forget the day that made her almost accidentally blurt out a proposal. 
It wasn’t even a loss, but it was a very sloppy win and it hit Alexia harder than anyone could have anticipated. She had seemed fine afterwards, but you’d failed to realise she was just going through the motions completely on autopilot. Alexia wasn’t the loudest or most out there person but she wasn’t the quietest either.
Alexia couldn’t help but put even more pressure on herself. It was a habit she had, along with your help, tried so hard to stop. The pressure to be the best all the time, and you hated seeing how she would shut down when the weight of that came crashing down pulling her with it. That didn’t stop the occasional slip and Alexia falling back into that habit, one that came so naturally to her.
‘Lo siento, mi amor,’ You crouched down in front of Alexia. You don’t recall hearing Alexia speak a word since you both got home, though you’d been distracted trying to get the both of you something to eat, ‘I should’ve noticed,’ Your voice was soft and small. You weren’t necessarily talking to Alexia right now, knowing that she wouldn’t really be listening to anything outside of her own head.
‘All those missed chances,’ You knew she was thinking about the game before she’d even said it. She was fidgeting with her fingers so you took her hands in your own, your thumb gently rubbing over her hand.
‘You know it wasn’t just you. You don’t have to be perfect for us, there’s no such thing and you know that,’ Your voice still had a softness to it but there was a slight firm undertone, one that was needed to break through all the self doubts that was filling her head, you needed her to hear you, ‘There are days when, despite everything we do, it just doesn’t click for us out there. But we will come back stronger next time. You’re not alone in this and you don’t need to carry the weight of it all by yourself. You’ve always got me, the team and the fans. No one needs- I don’t need you to be perfect,’ 
You could see the conflict in her eyes, the hesitation to believe what you were saying, ‘It’s not you that has to fix everything all the time. Yes you’re our captain, pero amor, lean on us we’ve got you, I’ve got you. You are more than enough exactly as you are,’ You brought each of her hands up to your lips, softly kissing each knuckle while looking up at her.
A deep sigh, Alexia nodded slightly leaning forward so her forehead was resting against yours. You wrapped your arms around Alexia, tightly holding her against you, ‘Gracias, mi amor. How do you always know what to say, what I need,’ 
‘Because I just know you Ale,’ Another way to say you love Alexia, a way that means more to her than she could ever tell you, ‘How about a warm bath and an early night? Bubbles in the bath?’ 
‘I’m not a kid,’ Alexia’s voice was small and you could hear the small pout her lips were forming. 
You chuckled softly, ‘Oh my mistake, so you really really don’t want a warm bath with little bubbles,’ Your tone was teasing.
‘Con una vela vainilla y pequeña, por favor,’ Alexia kissed the side of your neck, you could feel a small smile against you and your heart felt a little lighter knowing Alexia was going to be okay.
When you wrapped her up in a soft, fluffy blanket in bed later that night, holding her close to you. She almost asked you to marry her, while she took care of you, you never hesitated to take care of her. To let her know it was okay to not be the one to take care of everyone all the time. Alexia let you take care of her, she felt safe enough to do that with you.
Her plans didn’t matter anymore, right now was perfect.
‘Alexia…’ Your voice cut through, bringing Alexia back to reality. You were now standing at the side of the bed, lightly waving your hand in front of Alexia’s face. She registered the use of her name and raised an eyebrow at you, ‘Knew that would make you come back to me,’ You smirked knowing there’s only certain times when she doesn’t mind you using her name and right now wasn’t one of them.
‘¿Estás bien?’ You asked since it had been a long day, you’d more than understand her being tired but zoning out was on the more unusual side for Alexia.
‘More than,’ Alexia couldn’t wait any longer. You were confused when she sprung out of bed, almost like there was a fire she had to get away from as quickly as she could, ‘You’re so beautiful,’ Alexia had circled the bed, wrapping an arm around your waist bringing you into her, her other hand cupping your cheek. You leaned into her touch, your face heating up at the intimacy. After all these years together and Alexia still made you feel like you were a teenager having her first crush.
Alexia kissed you deeply, guiding you to sit on the edge of the bed once she pulled away. There was this goofy, lovesick smile that wouldn’t leave her face when she looked at you. You sitting in front of her, in her hoodie, in your natural beauty and the thought of forever felt like it would never be long enough with you.
‘Mi vida, wait here, por favor,’ A small chuckle left your lips, still confused with Alexia’s sudden actions but she was cute so of course you listened and watched her rummage through her bag.
Walking back towards you, hands behind her back holding the box out of view for now, Alexia suddenly grew very nervous. She didn’t have any doubt that you would say no, but she was second guessing if it was the right moment for you. It felt right for Alexia so she pushed through the doubts, also worried that she wouldn’t find the right words or convey them in the way she wants to. She didn’t have that extra mirror practice like she had planned to have the night before.
A small timid, partly awkward still partly goofy and loved up, smile graced her lips, ‘Mi amor, I had this all planned out but looking at you right now, seeing you and just being here with you, nothing has ever felt more right,’ A small gasp left your lips when Alexia knelt down on one knee, revealing the box and the ring inside it to you, ‘You are so beautiful and I really love the life we’ve built together. There is no one else but you, you are the one for me, we just fit together like we were made for each other. Like you were made for me,’ Your eyes were starting to well up with tears with each word Alexia spoke. She was pouring all her emotion and feelings into her words and you could feel it so deep within you, ‘I want a forever with you, mi vida, will you do me the honour of being my wife,’ 
So overcome with emotion, it felt like all the air had been sucked from your lungs. You nodded furiously and let out the smallest, ‘Sí,’ while you pulled Alexia up your lips crashing onto hers. Deep, breathless and full of a joy that couldn’t be contained between you both. 
Alexia chuckled when you finally let her pull away slightly, ‘Amor, amor, I need to put the ring on your finger, por favor,’ 
You laughed forgetting that you skipped over that part entirely, just wanting to be close to her. Alexia took your hand and slid the ring on your finger, gently leaving a kiss to seal her love that would stay with you for a lifetime.
Alexia held you in her arms, your eyes transfixed on the ring that shone beautifully on your finger. You still couldn’t believe it, ‘This was perfect Ale,’ Whispering out into the soft comfortable silence that filled the hotel room you were staying in, ‘I love you Alexia,’
‘I love you, more than anything,’
ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ
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liked by alexiaputellas, marialeonn16 and 130,809 others y/n if this is what i get after a cup win, what could i get after we win the champions league again 😏 ps. forever with you has a nice ring to it mi amor ❤️tagged: alexiaputellas
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whosashan · 4 months ago
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Hello, hi! Sorry for my bad english.
Can I request Jealous!MC where there’s a new colleague whom everyone respects (lets say shes only in Linkon for a week for a short mission) but MC sees how that colleague lowkey and subtly flirts with Xavier? (y’know how guys can be dense at times)
he sets boundaries though, it’s just “colleague” tries to push her luck— for the ending m not so sure, how about Xavier catches on and bluntly turns her down and makes it up for MC? :3
thank you!!!!!! you r very talented🫶🫶🫶
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Me? Jealous?
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PAIRING: Xavier x mc!reader
SYNOPSIS: Watching your new coworker grow a little too familiar with your boyfriend sent a sharp, unwelcome heat curling in your chest—an emotion you’d never dare to name, let alone admit.
A/N: Thank you for the request. I twisted it a little, so hope you won't mind. I'm not really good at writing jealousy-related stuff, but I hope I'll get better with time!! Hope you enjoy!
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Xavier - your sweet, devoted lover. A man of quiet strength and effortless charm, wrapped in an air of aloof detachment that only made people want to be closer to him.
Somehow, despite his reserved nature, he had a gravitational pull. Perhaps it was his unshaken confidence, the way he moved with the quiet assurance of a skilled hunter who had nothing to prove. Or maybe it was that face—carved with sharp angles and softened by golden strands that always seemed to fall just right. Whatever the reason, people wanted him close.
You never minded. In fact, you were proud. Admired, respected—a man like that was yours, after all. And Xavier was never one to indulge in unnecessary conversations or fleeting acquaintances. His world was small, intimate, built on a foundation of loyalty and shared trust. You had never been given a reason to worry.
Until now.
Standing next to Tara, your stomach twisted as your gaze locked onto the scene unfolding across the room.
A woman—tall, poised, exuding an effortless confidence—stood by Xavier’s desk, leaning in just enough to blur the lines between casual and intentional. She had the look of someone who had never been denied, her gaze slow and deliberate as it traced the sharp lines of his face before slipping lower, taking in every inch of him like he was something to be appraised.
Like he was something to be claimed.
Your jaw tightened.
She wasn’t subtle. Her eyes lingered, drinking him in like a fine wine, her expression betraying nothing but intrigue and unspoken intent. If you didn’t know any better, you would have mistaken her for a predator, circling its prey with the patience of something that had never known hunger.
“Who the hell is that?” Tara’s voice was low, hushed, but tinged with the same disbelief you felt.
You didn’t answer. You didn’t have to.
“She’s the hunter Jenna assigned for the new mission,” Simone’s voice cut in, her sudden presence making you jolt. “They say she’s one of the best in the field.”
Your lips parted slightly. “The captain of the aviation department?”
Simone nodded, watching your expression carefully.
She was young for such a high-ranking position, but that wasn’t what unsettled you. What unsettled you was the way she carried herself—like she already knew the outcome of a game you hadn’t even realized you were playing.
And the worst part? Xavier seemed oblivious.
His responses were polite, clipped, maintaining the professionalism expected of him when speaking to a superior. He didn’t return her lingering gaze, didn’t acknowledge the subtle shifts in her tone, the way her lips curved when he spoke.
And yet, it still made your blood simmer.
You hated it—the feeling curling in your chest, the way it coiled around your ribs like something dark and unspoken. You didn’t want to name it. Didn’t want to admit that, for the first time, you felt something dangerously close to threatened.
It wasn’t that you didn’t trust Xavier. Quite the opposite.
It was her.
"She’s supposed to be here for a week or so,” Simone added, eyeing you warily as if she had just glimpsed a side of you she wasn’t quite sure how to handle.
Tara shot her a nervous glance. You didn’t miss the way they exchanged looks, as if silently agreeing that this was unfamiliar territory—you were unfamiliar territory.
Finally, your feet moved before your mind had time to catch up.
You wove through the room with careful, measured steps, every movement precise, controlled. By the time you reached Xavier’s side, you had already tucked away the wildfire burning beneath your skin, smoothing out the edges of your expression into something unreadable.
Xavier turned at your approach, and in an instant, everything about him changed.
His guarded expression softened, his posture easing as that rare, genuine smile tugged at the corners of his lips. Warm. Familiar. Yours.
The woman noticed.
“Ah, Y/N.” Her voice was smooth, practiced. She straightened slightly, taking you in with an unreadable gaze. “I’ve heard about you.”
Your eyes met hers, searching, assessing.
“All good things, I hope?” Your words were polite, but there was something beneath them—something carefully measured, just shy of warning.
She didn’t answer. Not really. Instead, a slow smirk curled at her lips, her amusement flickering like the first embers of a fire.
She turned back to Xavier, dismissing you entirely.
“Well, Xavier,” she mused, her voice taking on a honeyed lilt, “I hope you’ll consider my proposition.”
And then she walked away, hips swaying just enough to make her intentions clear.
Your fingers curled at your sides.
“What was that about?” You turned to Xavier, making no effort to hide the edge in your voice.
He blinked, glancing between you and the retreating figure. “…She wanted to meet up to discuss something about the mission.”
Casual. Dismissive. Utterly oblivious.
Xavier reached for your hand, his thumb brushing over your skin in that familiar, grounding way. It was instinctive, absentminded, as if he had done it a thousand times before and would do it a thousand times again.
It was enough to ease some of the tension in your shoulders. Almost.
Because while you trusted Xavier implicitly, one thing was certain:
You were not about to let someone like her think she had a chance.
And with the welcome party set for later that week—a gathering meant to formally introduce the aviation captain to the association - it was the perfect moment to make sure she knows he's yours.
Yes. This was going to be fun.
...
Having heard about the party, you weren’t about to let the opportunity slip through your fingers. This was your chance to ensure the captain understood something crystal clear—Xavier was not, and never would be, one of her playthings.
With Tara and Simone’s help, you looked nothing short of lethal. Your makeup was flawless, enhancing every sharp edge and soft curve of your features, making you appear both untouchable and irresistibly tempting. Your hair was styled to perfection, cascading in a way that made you feel like a walking temptation, and your skin glowed with the scent of the perfume Xavier adored—the one that always seemed to awaken something predatory in him, darkening his gaze whenever you wore it.
And the pièce de résistance? A dress—the dress. Baby blue, the color of summer skies and lingering daydreams. It clung in all the right places, teasing with just enough skin to drive anyone who laid eyes on you to the brink of madness, yet leaving enough to the imagination to make them crave more. You knew the effect it had on Xavier. Knew the way his eyes darkened, how his hands twitched as if resisting the urge to pull you close and claim you on the spot.
And tonight, you planned on making sure everyone knew it too.
You had chosen to surprise him, arriving separately so he wouldn’t have a chance to drag you back to the safety of his arms before you had even stepped through the door.
The club was dimly lit, pulsing with the deep bass of music that thrummed beneath your skin. The scent of alcohol, expensive cologne, and faint traces of smoke clung to the air, mixing with the hum of conversation. Association members littered the room, some drinking, others caught in quiet discussions about missions and assignments.
And then you saw him.
Xavier was easy to spot—even in a crowded room, he stood out like something carved from myths, his golden hair catching the glow of the overhead lights. Dressed in his usual understated yet effortlessly attractive manner, he leaned against the bar, engaged in polite conversation.
But then his eyes found yours.
For a moment, he stilled.
And then—oh.
It was subtle at first. The slight parting of his lips, the way his grip on his drink tightened ever so slightly. His gaze dragged over you, slow and deliberate, before snapping back to your face, sharp and hungry. If he had been holding a conversation, you wouldn’t have known—it was as if the world had ceased to exist around him, leaving only you.
Your lips curled into a knowing smile as you strode toward him, reveling in the way his pupils dilated, his usual composure slipping for just a fraction of a second.
You were used to catching Xavier’s attention. But tonight? Tonight, he was absolutely enthralled.
And of course—your lovely new colleague took notice.
She had dressed for the occasion as well, a deep crimson gown hugging her form, exuding confidence. Perhaps she had the same plan you did—to steal Xavier’s attention, to lure him in with beauty and presence.
But she had made one miscalculation.
Xavier’s attention wasn’t hers to steal.
You reached him just as she did, her voice silky as she tilted her head, a charming smile gracing her lips. “Xavier, I must say, you clean up well.”
Xavier, who had just barely managed to tear his gaze from you, turned toward her with his usual polite indifference. “Thank you, Captain.”
She placed a hand on the bar beside him, inching just a little too close, feigning casual conversation. “You know, I never did get a proper answer about my earlier proposal. A meeting—just the two of us. I think we could make an excellent team.”
Your blood simmered. The sheer audacity.
But before you could even open your mouth, Xavier did something that made your heart skip a beat.
He stepped back. Just enough to create space, his movements smooth yet unmistakably intentional.
“I appreciate the offer,” he said, voice calm but firm, “but I’ll have to decline. I don’t mix work with anything that could be… misinterpreted.”
The captain faltered for a fraction of a second, clearly not expecting such a direct rejection.
Still, she recovered quickly, letting out a light laugh, as if amused rather than deterred. “Oh? And here I thought you’d at least consider it.”
Xavier’s gaze flickered toward you then—brief, knowing, filled with something warm and unshaken. And then, with the faintest hint of amusement lacing his voice, he spoke again.
“There’s nothing to consider.”
The words were final. A dismissal. A line drawn in stone.
The captain seemed to realize that any further attempts would be futile. With one last lingering glance, she lifted her drink to her lips, her expression unreadable, before turning away and disappearing into the crowd.
You exhaled, finally allowing yourself to breathe.
And then—Xavier’s hand was on your waist, his grip firm as he pulled you flush against him.
“Enjoying yourself?” His voice was low, edged with something darker, something teasing.
You tilted your head up at him, pretending to consider. “Hmm. Maybe. Though, I was a little concerned for a second there.”
Xavier’s lips twitched, his free hand tracing idle circles against your lower back. “Oh?”
You smirked, eyes gleaming with something playful. “I mean, she’s confident, gorgeous, highly respected—”
Xavier cut you off with a quiet scoff, his thumb brushing over the exposed skin of your waist. “So are you.”
Your laughter was soft, but before you could say anything more, he leaned down, his lips ghosting just below your ear.
“I only see you,” he murmured. “I only want you.”
A slow shiver ran down your spine.
You turned to face him fully then, hands resting against his chest, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath your fingers. “Good.”
He smirked. “Good?”
You leaned in, your lips just barely brushing his before whispering, “Because you’re mine.”
Xavier’s breath hitched—just barely, just enough for you to catch it—before he let out a quiet chuckle, pressing his forehead against yours.
“Yeah,” he murmured. “I am.”
And with that, he kissed you—slow and deep, in a way that left no room for doubt.
A statement. A promise.
And a reminder to anyone who had dared to think otherwise.
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joelsrose · 25 days ago
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chapter 4!!!! i love this story so much omggg - as always, i hope you guys enjoy xxx
༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶
You were ecstatic—buzzing, practically vibrating with excitement as the sun crept over Jackson’s rooftops like it, too, was eager for what the day might bring.
Today was the day: Joel Miller’s first date in what was likely two decades, maybe more, and you had been the orchestrator of it all.
The entire thing had lived in your head for a week now, spinning like a little carousel of possibilities—some disastrous, some dreamy, some wildly romantic like something out of the battered books you kept stacked beside your bed.
You’d imagined a dozen outcomes: Joel arriving early with flowers (unlikely), Joel cracking a rare joke over dessert (a stretch), Joel sitting with his arms folded refusing to speak (realistic), and even one where he somehow fell instantly, hopelessly in love (a girl can dream).
But most of all, you hoped—really, truly hoped—that he’d try.
You had found someone you thought was perfect. Her name was Naomi—mid-forties, soft-spoken but sharp as a tack, with kind eyes and a laugh that could warm a cold room.
She worked with the school’s little garden co-op, loved to read mystery novels, and once told you that she’d be open to something “real” if it came along. And when you’d nervously shown her Joel’s name in your journal (complete with scribbled-out lines and notes in pink ink), she had blinked, smiled faintly, and said, “He’s handsome. I wouldn’t mind meeting him.”
That alone had made your heart flutter with cautious hope.
Their date was going to be at the dining hall—humble, yes, but at sunset it turned soft and sweet, the candles on the tables flickering like tiny promises. You’d even roped in one of the cooks that night to make something nice—nothing fancy, just warm bread, grilled fish, and the kind of roasted vegetables that made even the most stoic Jacksoners groan with delight.
You’d told Joel you’d meet him at the dining hall, just to make sure everything went smoothly—not that you thought he needed you, exactly, but because a tiny, worried part of you couldn’t bear the idea of him showing up alone and uncomfortable, his arms crossed and jaw tight, already halfway out the door before the poor woman even said hello.
And though he’d grumbled something predictably Joel—something along the lines of, “I don’t need no damn babysitter,” or maybe it was “Like hell you’re watchin’ me like some charity case”—you hadn’t really listened, because the miracle had already happened: he was going.
Joel Miller, who frowned at butterflies like they personally offended him, who didn’t eat dessert because he was apparently too proud for joy, who moved through town like he was allergic to small talk—was going on a date.
And not because Maria begged him, or because Tommy tricked him, but because you had asked.
Because somehow, after all the sighs and sharp looks and muttered curses, he had agreed to try.
༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶
You sat—not subtly, despite your best efforts—tucked into the far corner of the dining hall, half-hidden behind a tall, mismatched stack of crates and a poorly potted plant that offered minimal cover but enough plausible deniability.
From your perch, you watched with the anxiety of a director at opening night as Joel sat at the table, looking profoundly out of place, his posture slightly slumped like he was already apologizing for being there. His shirt was unironed, the sleeves unevenly rolled, and his hair looked like he’d run a hand through it once out of obligation and then given up entirely. You winced.
When his eyes flicked up and caught yours across the room, you straightened your back instinctively and mouthed, “Sit straight,” even modeling the posture with a meaningful lift of your shoulders. Joel blinked once, scowled like a grumpy schoolboy, and adjusted stiffly, muttering something under his breath as he did so.
And then Naomi walked in.
She looked lovely—effortlessly polished in a way that made you feel a flicker of hopeful pride. Her braid was neat, her dress floral and soft, and as she approached the table, you could see the faint smile of curiosity tug at her lips.
Joel stood up, which you had to admit was a win, but any warm feelings were quickly extinguished as he greeted her with an awkward, two-handed handshake—firm and businesslike, like he was closing a deal rather than stepping into a date.
Not a hug, not even a kiss on the cheek, just a dry, utilitarian shake that made Naomi tilt her head a little, puzzled. Then he sat—sat—without offering her chair, the screech of his wooden seat dragging across the floor echoing through the hall like a warning bell.
You physically cringed, your hand flying to your forehead as you whispered, “Oh, God,” under your breath, already bracing for the slow-motion disaster about to unfold before your very eyes.
༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶
You weren’t a body language expert by any means—didn’t need to be. Anyone with a pair of eyes and half a brain could tell this date was going up in flames before the second course even hit the table.
Joel sat stiff as stone, arms crossed so tightly across his chest you wondered if he was keeping himself from bolting. He didn’t smile, not once—not even the tight-lipped kind people give when they’re trying to be polite.
His jaw was set, his mouth a thin, immovable line, and the only real movement he made was stabbing his fork into his mashed potatoes like they’d wronged him personally.
You watched in slow-building horror as he grunted in response to Naomi’s questions, barely making eye contact, and at one point—at one godforsaken point—he actually leaned away from her mid-sentence to refill his water glass with all the grace of a brick wall.
You ran your hands through your hair, heart racing, like maybe the friction would rub the secondhand embarrassment off your skin. You wanted to crawl under the table. You wanted to crawl out of your skin. He was paying more attention to his peas than the gorgeous, interesting, totally game woman you’d found for him, and all you could do was stare, helpless, as your most promising Cupid endeavor to date unraveled like a badly-knitted scarf in the middle of winter.
You kept watching like it was a car crash happening in slow motion—horrifying, inevitable, and impossible to look away from.
Joel said something—you couldn’t hear it over the clatter of cutlery and murmur of nearby tables—but you saw Naomi’s brows shoot up, her head tilt just slightly, the way a woman does when she’s giving someone one last chance to backpedal. Joel, of course, did not backpedal. His mouth moved again, probably something gruff and dismissive in that grumpy cowboy drawl of his, and you actually saw Naomi scoff. Not laugh. Not smile. Scoff. Sharp, unimpressed, and loud enough that a few heads turned.
Then, just like that, she pushed back from the table with a scrape of chair legs that echoed louder than it had any right to, grabbed her coat, and left without another word. You were frozen, eyes wide, mouth half-open, watching as Joel just blinked at her retreating form like she’d spilled her drink and he wasn’t sure if he should clean it up or not.
As soon as the door swung shut behind Naomi, you didn’t hesitate—not even for a second. You launched out of your hiding spot like a woman on a mission, practically sprinting across the dining hall, weaving between chairs and startled diners until you slid into the now-vacant seat opposite Joel. You leaned forward, elbows on the table, eyes wide and incredulous, like you’d just walked in on a crime scene.
“Joel,” you hissed, voice pitched low but vibrating with disbelief, “what the hell happened?”
He barely looked up from his half-eaten plate, casually poking at a piece of roasted potato like this wasn’t the dating equivalent of a four-alarm fire. “We didn’t click,” he said, with a shrug so nonchalant it nearly made your head explode.
“Joel,” you said again, dragging out the syllables like a prayer for patience, “why did she get up and leave like that? Like you insulted her lineage or ran over her kid!?”
He gave you a look, the picture of stone-faced indifference, and mumbled, “I don’t know. She was talkin’ about her cat.”
Your eyes narrowed. “And what did you say, Joel?”
He paused for a beat, glanced away, then muttered under his breath, “I said I don’t trust people who let animals sleep in their bed.”
You blinked at him. “Jesus, Joel.”
He shrugged like it didn’t matter, like he hadn’t just taken a flamethrower to a perfectly decent date. “Didn’t like me the second she sat down.”
“Yeah, Joel,” you said, exasperated, “maybe because you said three words total, insulted her cat, and greeted her like she was an IRS agent coming to audit your crops. You shook her hand.”
He scowled deeper, already standing, already grabbing his coat like this whole night had been a bad dream he could storm away from. “That’s enough,” he muttered, brushing past you, out the door and into the cold.
“What the hell,” you hissed, pushing your chair in with a sharp scrape, bolting after him.
You caught up with him just outside, your breath fogging in the evening air as you jogged to close the space between you. “Joel! Stop.”
He did. He turned on a heel, the movement sharp, sudden, and his voice was rough when it came out. “What? Is that why you’re here? To tell me how shit I did? You think I don’t know I fucked it up? You don’t think I’m aware I ain’t some charming, fresh-faced guy women line up for? I know what I am. I know I’m well past my goddamn prime.”
You stared at him—this big, broad, stubborn man who looked like he was made of iron and regret, standing under the soft street light like it was trying to make something warm out of someone who didn’t believe he could be.
“Stop it,” you said, firm, breathless. “You want me to feel sorry for you? I won’t. Because you’re not past your prime, Joel. You’re still here. Still living. Still capable. You’re handsome, whether you believe it or not—Naomi said so herself before she even met you.”
He froze.
You could see it—that flicker of something in his eyes, just barely there, something startled and unsure. And it wasn’t your scolding that got to him, or the fact that you’d followed him out into the cold like you cared enough to keep trying.
It was that one word. Handsome.
Because you—who wore sweaters with daisies on them and drank out of a chipped Little Miss Sunshine mug and believed in soulmates and fresh starts and love at first sight—you had called him handsome. Had looked at him like there was still something good there. Something worthy.
He shifted, his shoulders tight, hands shoved deep into the pockets of his coat like he was trying to tuck his embarrassment away with them. His gaze didn’t quite meet yours, instead flicking sideways, focused on some invisible spot in the dirt. “Alright,” he muttered gruffly, voice thick with something he wasn’t ready to name. “Maybe I shouldn’t’ve shaken her hand.”
You watched him, lips twitching with the threat of a smile you didn’t dare let fully bloom just yet. “You think?” you said, teasing but warm, your voice low like you didn’t want to scare off this rare, soft moment.
He sighed, and it felt like it came from somewhere deep—bone-deep, years-deep. “I should’ve talked more. Been less—” he gestured vaguely, almost helplessly, “—me. More gentlemanly or whatever. It’s been a while.”
You took a step closer, slow and steady, like you were approaching a wild animal that didn’t quite know how to accept kindness. Your fingers brushed his forearm first, then settled there, grounding, gentle. He didn’t flinch. Just looked down at your hand like it was the first warm thing he’d felt all day.
“And that’s okay, Joel,” you said softly, eyes on his, voice like honey and heartache. “No one’s asking you to be perfect. You don’t have to get it right the first time. Or the second. We just… have to try. A little more. Next time.”
His eyes lifted to meet yours then, a brow arching with something halfway between surprise and amusement. “Next time?”
“Oh yeah,” you said, your hand still on his arm, your eyes sparkling with something fierce and fond. “I’m not givin’ up on you yet, cowboy.”
That earned you a sound you hadn’t heard before—a real chuckle, low and rough, pulled from somewhere deep in his chest. It made something in you light up, bright and effervescent.
He shook his head, just slightly, like he couldn’t believe you, like he was still fighting the smile threatening his own mouth. “You’re somethin’ else,” he muttered, but this time, it sounded an awful lot like a compliment.
And you just grinned, the wind catching your hair, the cold forgotten entirely. Because for once, Joel Miller didn’t look like he wanted to disappear into the night.
He looked like he might actually be willing to stay.
༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶
i wont be doing a tag list angels, im sorry it gets so confusing and messy for me !!! hope you understand xx
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thetriumphantpanda · 1 year ago
Text
mine, all mine | joel miller
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Summary | You & Joel have been skirting around whatever this is for years, until he finally breaks and calls it what it is, in the only way he knows how.
Pairing | Joel Miller x F!Reader
Word Count | 1.2K
Warnings | Post-Outbreak, Jackson!Joel, possessive!Joel, rough sex, spit play, unprotected PiV sex, cumshot, cumplay, dirty talk, emotionally unavailable Joel, it's basically just 1.2k of filth tbh, no use of y/n
Authors Note | This one goes out to @undercoverpena who gave me the means to rewatch TLOU. This was the outcome. Enjoy the filth.
Divider by @saradika
Main Masterlist | Ko-Fi
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He’s got your wrists caught together in one of his big hands, pressed down into the mattress to keep you still. Your thighs splayed wide, pressed down almost uncomfortably by the width of his hips. His cock is splitting you open and you’re so impossibly wet that you can hear it whenever he pushes himself back into you. He likes it, wild grin on his face whenever that lewd squelch makes itself known, he likes that only he can do this to you, only he can make you this wet, only he can get you to submit so completely like this.
It’s been two years of this. Two years of being pressed into his bed in the dead of night. Two years of dancing around what this is, but enjoying it all the same. You don’t think you need to label it, complicate it, not when it feels this good. You’d happily go the rest of your days not knowing what you and Joel Miller are if it means he’s going to stay like this. It started as stress relief, a lot like how it had been with the other people here in Jackson that had fallen into your bed - him, frustrated from patrol or whatever it was going on with Ellie, you, frustrated with… well, mostly everything these days. When he’s inside you, there are no frustrations, only the low thrum of pleasure across your skin.
Things have changed though, maybe in the past six months. He stands closer to you when you’re at the bar, sometimes puts a hand on the small of your back when someone else tries to talk to you. Subtle messages that say back the fuck off or she’s mine without needing to put real words to it. He doesn’t say it, even here, when he’s deep inside you, doesn’t beg you to tell him who you belong to, but then you suppose he doesn’t have to - you’ve not fucked anyone else since this started, no-one would hold a candle to him, and you know he doesn’t fuck anyone else either.
“You hear that?” His gruff voice asks, pulling you back to the present as his cock drags from your cunt, pushing back in slowly, and you do, that squelch of him pushing back inside you as deep as he can fit, you throw your head back, moan his name, “Yeah you do,” His face buries into your neck, teeth dragging across delicate skin, “Hear how wet I gotcha?”
You let your eyes open, fluttering slowly to reveal how close he is to your face. He’s so fucking beautiful like this - skin covered in sweat, brows pinched together in pleasure, his scars and his wrinkles visible so closely, the grey in his beard and the smattering of hair on his chest pressed against yours, you won’t ever grow tired of this.
“S-so fucking g-good, Joel.” You choke out on another drag of his cock, tip pressed right against the depths of you, dragging deliciously against that spot inside you.
“I know, baby, I know,” He coos, nudging the side of your face with his nose, hot breath so close to your ear as he continues the languid strokes of himself in and out of your spent cunt, “Bein’ so good f’me.”
His praise never fails to make you preen, face rolling to the side, exposing the side of your neck to him that he hasn’t already marked. You feel the tight grip around your wrists loosen, his hand taking hold of your chin instead, pulling you back to look at him, brown eyes glazed almost black with lust as he looks down at you. There’s something different there this time, sure he’s always been intense, but he’s looking at you this time like he wants to devour you whole - to cut you open and eat you from the inside.
“You’re mine, aren’t you?” He whispers, hand around your face moving to shake you so your focus is on him and not on the way his thrusts have started getting harder, “Say it.”
“M’yours,” You manage to get out, but he shakes your head again, “Yours, m’yours Joel.”
“That’s right,” He bends, hand still gripping your chin, and licks into your mouth, sucking your bottom lip into his mouth, teeth nipping gently, “My girl.”
You almost can’t believe it, like this is some kind of dream, your wildest fantasy come true that he does want you, that it’s not just your pussy he covets but everything else you bring.
“Y-you mean it?” You speak, breathless, “I’m yours?”
You bring a hand up to his face now, cradling a cheek, thumb tracing his bottom lip, but he’s shaking your hand away, his own still tight against your face, “Open your mouth,” but you’re confused about why, so it takes you a while for your brain to catch up, “Open your damn mouth baby.”
This time you do, lips parted, tongue out, Joel’s fingers sitting in the hinges of your jaw, dragging your head forward a little, then, he purses his lips, opens his mouth and lets his saliva drip from his own mouth into your, caught on the flat of your tongue. It’s hot, probably the hottest thing he’s even done. You curl your tongue over it, dragging your mouth closed to swallow it down, then, you open your mouth, stick your tongue back out and look him straight in the eye to ask for more.
“Fuckin’ filthy,” He mutters, but there’s a grin on his face, his cock still pounding into you, the feeling of your slick, made more by what he’d just down, gathering at the base of his cock, dripping down onto the sheets below, “Y’like that, huh?”
“Uh-huh.” Is the only thing you can get out before he’s doing it again, letting his own spit drip from his mouth into yours.
This time though, he doesn’t give you the option to swallow it. He lets go of your face, his tongue melding with yours at the precise spot that his spit had just landed on. It’s a filthy, wet, open-mouthed kiss, saliva gathering in your corners of your mouth as you moan into his when he shifts his hips just a little, tip of his cock now bruising into your cervix on every punch forward.
It happens all at once, his lips dragging from yours, his cock dragging out of your pussy as he pushes backwards, cock in his fist for barely a second before the first rope of his spend is spurting across your soaked and aching folds. Joel lets out a growl as the next lands across the soft skin of your tummy, the next between the valley of your tits. He’s dragging a tight fist up and down the length of his cock, squeezing lightly at his tip to empty himself of every drop of cum, painting your skin with it until he’s softening in his fist and you’re trying to catch your breath.
Joel lets his hands grip your hips, dragging his thumbs through the pools of cum across your lower body, rubbing gently through it to spread it as far as he can, “Look nice like this,” He muses, looking down at the mess he’s made of you, from the aching red hue of your spent cunt, to the milky white splashed across your body, “Mine.” He says, with a tone of finality.
“Yours.”
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