#though idk i guess im also just kinda goin through it

[megalophobic-astronomer]

sorry for giving up so early this year. i said id do an attack once every three days max and i have done Six. i didnt really give up i kinda just only like revenging lol and i havent been attacked since the beginning

[wandixx]

Ghost of fries and Hero of cookies part 3

All work words count: 14 643

Words in this part: 3 056

Summary of whole work: Duke wasn't expecting to wake up from his quick rooftop nap to some meta kid with fries. He also wasn't expecting kid to stay

Or

Danny asked Dani to stay safe while she was in Gotham. Where would she be safer than under the wing of local hero? And he looked like he needed bad day combo anyway

This part summary: Joker goons are in for an orange surprise and Duke does not like it in the slightest

Beta read by @audhumla-sailor though English is second language for both of us, so proceed with this in mind. I also know all of the charaters through fics alone, so probably ooc. Stay catious if it's something you don't like

First part, Previous part

trigger warnings: gun violence, panic attacks, dissociation, mentions of Joker gas and what it doeas to people (tell me if i missed something, I'll add it)

Duke was having quite a good day. His schoolwork finally got lighter and up until now nothing notable happen on his patrol. Obviously, couldn’t have Gotham without at least one mugging and bank and corner shop robbery. About the last thing, if it was chain store he would conveniently arrive too late to stop it and just follow up to make sure cashier didn’t get fired. He used to be intimately close with hardships of getting necessary supplies like food or gas masks while corporate assholes were trying to suck people dry. But it was family business so he actually had to step in. He did mention secure way of getting resources to would be robbers though. All in all, not so bad, pretty good day. As for now, he was swinging on grapple to meet with Dani, armed with healthy snack Alfred demanded he took for her when he got texted on his Signal-work-phoneTM. It meant important business 90% of the time, so he stopped to check it out. Other 10% were memes from Dani that usually were worth it anyway.

Got it in one, Hoopoe texted. He opened chat expecting funny video or something instead to be greeted by:

Dani: Hey Signal

Dani: Peple aint spossedf t get out f Arkham

Dani: Amirite?

His stomach dropped. He wished it was hypothetical question but he knew better than to believe such fantasies. Things didn’t go so well in Gotham, especially not with Hoopoe.

You: Yeah, your right. What’s up?

You: You’re*

Dani: Nerd

Dani: Whatre you’re thots on clowns

Dani: ?

His stomach officially landed at his feet and decided it wasn’t enough dropping and ended up on a street below. Even if Joker was still locked up, his goons being active were bad news.

You: Where are you?

You: Hoopoe, where are you?

Dani: Clm dow I ned to chek

Dani: I have ni ieda

Dani: The box building rod

Dani: roof*

Dani: Warehouse?

Dani: That the wors

Dani: I think

You: There are over 1000 warehouses in Gotham

Dani: Idk wht yu want me totll yu

Dani: Therere other warehous arond?

You: Okay

You: Check corners for symbol and number

Back in the day everyone other than Bruce decided to take part in a challenge to count all of the warehouses in Gotham manually. They each got their sector and graffiti spray to mark counted buildings. Later it kinda turned into a way of identifying them. 

Dani: Red blb with too wite dots

Dani: #83

Okay, he wasn’t too far. He risked roof hopping and checking texts to make sure she didn’t try anything stu-

Dani: Im goin in

You: No!

You: Stay where you are!

You: Hoopoe!

You: Hoopoe!

Dani: Calm down worrywart

Dani: Jus wante ti get ab look

Dani: Invisible

Dani: M not dump

I doubt it

You entered building with Joker’s goons with no back-up or plan. It’s extremely dangerous

Dani: Yeah, yeah don care

Dani: 5 goons in clown masks

Dani: Maks idk wat of

Dani: Not northern hemisphere of sky for sure

Dani: Weird containter s

Dani: Ari smells funny

Dani: Giggly i guess

Dani: U prbl know better

You: Get out of there

You: NOW!

You: Try not breathing it in

Dani: K

Dani: Ill stop brething then

You: GET OUT!

Dani: K

Dani: Why so agressive

Because Duke knew what Joker gas could do to person. He knew how it took wonderful people (like his parents) and left shells wand shadows of who they used to be. Because every gas release left him with panic attack. Because he knew it was more dangerous than even some vigilantes thought it was.

You: Wait until I get there

Dani: K

He almost tripped with how much he tried to speed up.

Dani was actually vibrating when he arrived but stayed quiet. Good. If she breathed in some Joker gas it wasn’t working dose yet. Duke had deep feeling not even Alfred’s cookies would be enough to deter her from entering. Offering her a granola bar he sat at the edge of the roof with bone deep sigh. Girl took snack eagerly, bouncing around like puppy high on caffeine.

“How about we take a note of this happening and get going? Other Bats are better equipped to deal with this,” They weren’t but he didn’t want Dani anywhere near this mess. He himself didn’t want to be anywhere near it either.

Kid got deadly still, staring at him as if she could read his deepest secrets if she looked hard enough.

“They’re scaring you” she whispered with strong feeling but Duke had trouble reading what feeling was it. He put his face in his hands for a moment. How was he even supposed to answer that?

“Joker is one of the most dangerous people in Gotham and these guys are working for him. They have guns. Of course I’m a little scared”

Judging by the face Dani made, she wanted to call him out on his bullshit but thought better of it. She floated to sit next to him, swallowing granola in few bites.

“My friend Johnny mentioned him,” she started between chewing ”he said ‘bastard murdered my baby bro Jay and Jay knew his way in fight, stay away from him Dani’. Normally Johnny isn’t so careful”

“All more reasons to leave it for others!” Duke almost shouted, hope growing in his chest. Maybe he could steer her away from it!

“He also told me to hit him if I happen to meet him. He would owe me ‘big one’ then. Do you think I could get ‘small one’ for couple of goons?!”

“Hoopoe no!”

Girl looked thoughtful and after over two weeks of working together he learned to fear this expression.

“Whatever you’re thinking, no. I’ll buy you biggest fries, just leave this–” he waved vaguely at the warehouse hoping it would get message across “–whole mess alone” There was lump in his throat.

Dani haven’t abandon whatever thought got her like that and nodded to herself few time. She drifted around a bit, shifted under her way too long cloak and finally settled with a soft smile.

“You’re scared… Terrified. You’re terrified of them,” she started calmly, like she would talk to a victim if she actually knew how to do it ”It’s okay. It’s great. Fear is what keeps humans alive,” she nodded as if she recounted something from textbook properly in front of the class “But I’m not scared and I fought people much stronger than them and I’m even better now thanks to you. If you’re so terrified, it means they need to be dealt with and it needs to be done fast. It’s okay,” her grin from soft turned devilish “I was itching for some fun fight anyway”

“Dani-”

“It’ll be quick, I promise,” she said, serious again “Don’t worry,” she stood up, saluted and fell through the roof, all too fast to react or not miss it with a blink. Frankly, it caught Duke so off guard he couldn’t even move for a few seconds after the whole ordeal anyway. He threw himself down to the nearest window as soon as he regained control over his body. His heart was stuck in his throat.

Dani tackled first goon with delighted giggle right when he crashed inside. He checked if his mask was secure on reflexes he plummeted towards the ground, moving his body to land safely on top of the shelf. Warehouses were weird place to fight. Easy to get vantage point like Duke just did but was also hard in a way. Little space made it hard to use wider streaks, easy get backed into corner. Annoying more than anything.

Dani’s wrestling match was so attention grabbing that nobody even looked at Duke, despite his far from subtle arrival. He threw himself forward when he caught telltale shine of the gun in one of goons hands. It was dumb move when Dani was so close to his ally, but who he was to criticize Joker goon’s live choices. It didn’t take Signal long to understand he wouldn’t make it on time. He had to but there was no-

Two gunshots rang in rapid succession split second before Duke got to the goon and, with swiftness granted only by adrenaline and fury people got when someone their got hurt, knocked man out cold. Before body could hit the ground he spun around to see the damage because Dani still refused to wear any armor and from this close goon would have to be Storm Trooper to miss her. Because she was most likely bleeding heavily. What if they hit something instantly lethal?

He faced a fight right in time to see Dani jumping at another goon also openly wielding a gun. He wanted to yell at her but bullets were fired before he got a chance. He looked for blood dripping from her torso while dodging another man  barely taking his eyes off Dani.

“That wasn’t nice,” she sounded like she pouted! At being shot! “If I was anyone else I would be seriously hurt right now, you know?” her voice was somewhat off. Like it wasn’t quite made by her vocal cords but some awkward voice generator.

Before the appalled man could react, he got technically not too good right hook to the jaw. It was strong enough to make him unconscious and get quite loud creak out of his neck. Duke hoped Dani didn’t mess up the guy's spine. He was criminal but he didn’t deserve this type of treatment.

Duke focused back on his own fight when he made sure that girl wasn’t in immediate danger of dying. He dodged running goon again, who literally ran himself into the shelf because of that. Signal used his short confusion to hit him in the side of his neck, rendering the opponent unconscious. Okay, they made it, this was the last-

Another gunshot made his sped-up heart skip a beat. Lump in his throat suffocated him.

No, no, no, no, no-

“I shot you in the face!”

 He looked her way ready to see unmoving body and red decorating concrete floor.

“There was a good quip for- oh right” she started cheerfully, entirely unharmed, before her face twisted into something actually demonic.

“Y̶o̸u̵r̵ ̶p̵e̶s̴k̶y̵ ̴l̷i̷t̶t̸l̶e̸ ̵b̷u̸l̴l̴e̶t̷s̵ ̴w̸o̴n̵'̸t̵ ̵h̶u̵r̶t̸ ̸m̷e̶, ₥ØⱤ₮₳Ⱡ₴”

She laughed in distinctly Dani way, all bright and joyful while also so not like herself, distorted and echoey it mage hairs at the back of his neck stand.

Duke froze when goon fired again and there was no way she dodged it. There was not enough space. She had to get shot. She got shot and he did nothing to stop it. A child got hurt because of him-

He looked at but hadn’t quite seen how Dani knocked out last goon and flew up to him. He heard her voice but words were impossible to understand over rush of blood in his ears. He could tell she was laughing. They should get out. Dani mentioned giggly smell in the air. It had to mean Joker gas. They needed to be out yesterday.

He stumbled a bit, forcing his leg to cooperate, half caring, half dragging girl to the nearest exit point. Fact that he could touch her and didn’t feel any blood was grounding a bit.

“-gnal, Signal are you okay? Your heart is beating weird,” Dani asked, sounding a bit scared for the first time today. Duke’s brain felt too fuzzy to care “Signal, you’re freaking out, calm down, please”

Light assaulted their eyes the moment they were out. Before he got fully used to it, he set girl in front of him and detached her cape. She may have squawked at this action but he didn’t care. She was shot, he needed to check her for injuries.

She got shot, she got shot, she got shot-

“Signal what-” he was clearly freaking her out “Oh. You think I’m hurt. I told you I could handle it. I’m fine. Signal I’m really fine. I have intangibility, bullets can’t hurt me. I’m fine Signal”

Duke wanted to make sure. Adrenaline or simple wish to not worry him could make her ignore something. He couldn’t let her. He made her turn maybe a little to roughly.

He wouldn’t be able to forgive himself if she bled out.

She was actually fine.

Relief hit him so strong he crumbled against the wall, his mind finally succumbing to the haze. It was fine. It was all actually fine.

He may have heard some yelling.

Next thing he registered was something tad too warm, almost burning his palms. His gloves did their job of protection well though. There was a herbal smell. Melissa, he registered after a moment. It took him some more time to realize that the source of the smell was in his hands. He had scathingly hot cup of melissa in his hands. He stared at a little bit squashed paper again trying to get used to the light. He didn’t even realize he closed his eyes. Sound of the paper bag made him look up where Dani, still without her cape, crouched few feet away from him.

“You back?” she asked cautiously. Duke wasn’t sure how to answer. He was and he wasn’t. His mouth didn’t work anyway. He shrugged, mindful of the cup in his hands. Blanket, he didn’t even know he was wrapped in, fell from one of his shoulders.

“I don’t know what happened but Jazz likes this tea when she needs to calm down. Though she usually needs to drink it to make it work,” Dani rambled, gesturing widely “You’re still breathing kinda funny, can you slow down? It’s not good for humans to breathe so fast. It doesn’t let good stuff from air get in your blood and travel around your body and it’s not healthy. I know, Jazz told me and she is really smart. She wants to be this doctor who stabs brain back into working. She had this smart word for it… Neurosurgeon, I think it’s this one. She said breathing like that is not good for brain so slow down? In for four, out for four? I don’t know, Signal, just calm down?”

Right, he still was hyperventilating. Duke focused on his lungs, forcing them to expand, trying to match up Dani’s slightly gasping breaths.

He really was freaking her out, wasn’t he?

Melissa was almost lukewarm by the time he was back in his body enough to drink it. It was sweet, a bit too much for his taste.

“You good now?” Dani asked and Duke nodded. He was as good as he could at the moment “Great, I didn’t want to leave you for too long so I don’t have BatBurger. I got cookies though. And I can go get it now”

“Don’t,” he caught her arm and squeezed, not sure why he did it himself.

“Huh?”

“Don’t go anywhere”

“Sure. Wanna cookie? I have chocolate chips and healthy, wheat ones”

“Chocolate”

“Okay” she nodded and fixed blanket on his arms. It was comfy. If Duke was firing on all cylinders, he would wonder where she got it.

“Don’t ever do it again”

“What is it though?”

“Jumping into danger like that”

“Oh, really? It wasn’t that dangerous, they were normal humans”

“They had Joker gas and guns”

“Intangibility means I can ignore bullets Signal, don’t be such worrywart. It’s bad for your health. What’s Joker gas?”

Question and the whole statement felt so surreal that Duke couldn’t help but laugh, choked and hysterical as it was. She didn’t know what Joker gas was. Worrying about her getting shot was bad for his health. He just had a panic attack and was comforted by a ten years old girl with cookies and melissa. What the fuck?

“Hey!” Dani pouted “Don’t laugh like that! Jazz always says that you shouldn’t laugh when someone doesn’t know something, just explain it to them! Signal!” she whined but the damn broke he couldn’t rear his hysteria back in “Alright, I’m Googling it”

She did as Duke’s laughter winded down. He was almost calm when she deemed her research enough.

“Alright, this is some nasty shit”

This sentence startled him into full silence. Dani was ten, swearing wasn’t something she did, like, ever. He must’ve scared her a lot.

“I’m fine though. I didn’t breathe it in. Did you? This laughter sounded a bit worrying to be honest”

“I’m okay, I had gas mask. People sometime laugh to release tension”

“Oh”

“Yeah. But you were in the building with it and didn’t have gas mask”

“I wasn’t breathing”

“You were talking”

“Our fucked up biology, as Danny likes to put it, means that one doesn’t mean another. I just don’t use it often because humans find it uncanny and my throat gets itchy after some time”

Something in Duke wanted to argue more but it was squashed but utter exhaustion that crashed him.

“Alright”

They sat for a long moment.

“Are you ready to patrol now?”

Duke would laugh again if he had any energy left.

“I think we should end for today. I would be useless like that”

“Okay, valid. You go home I’ll fly around a bit”

“No. You’re going home too. I don’t have enough emotional energy to worry about you getting into some mess like this again”

They stared at each other for a long moment before Dani looked away with angry huff.

“Okay. You’re worse than Danny, you know?”

“I don’t care. Go home and stay safe”

“You sure you will be alright if I go now? I can walk or fly you somewhere, not home if you don't want me to but maybe somewhere closer?”

“I’ll be fine. I can call my brother. Just go please”

“Sure. See you tomorrow, Signal. You were really brave today”

“Thank you, Hoopoe” If she answered, he didn’t hear her. He fumbled with his comm to turn it on with still shaky hands. Finally he managed and called a pick up in the form of Jason. It was great to have older brother who always had time like that. Even if it meant a lot of unnecessary questions about what happened Duke wasn’t up to answering it yet and threats of serious violence on his enemies.

Duke couldn't force himself to let go of the orange blanket. It was grounding.

Though Alfred made him hot chocolate with marshmallows. He wouldn’t repeat today for that, but it certainly was nice accent.

*********

"Humouristic" summary of this part

Dani: Yo, there are goons here. Gonna investigate.

Duke: *quietly freaks out*

Random Joker's goons: *do normal goon things*

Dani: *attacks them* HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Duke: Is this what minor heart attack feels like?

Goons: *start shooting*

Duke: Is this what major heart attack feels like?

Dani: Dude, you good? Here, get some tea, cookies and blanket

*

Dani, few hours later, texting: Hey Signal, remeber to bring back my cape tmrw

Duke, internally: Wait, this is her cape?

Duke, also texting: Wanna better one? Like Spoiler has?

Dani, somehow conveing Ghost Speak via text: Don't you dare

Thank you for reading this <3

Next part

[callibones]

hello!!! 🩸🟪 again. sorry for asking so early in the morning--i know you said you timed your last poast so i would see it so i feel bad for changing my hours but i had some extra free time. in the future you don't have to time your responses if you dont wanna. i peruse your blog at least once a week or so so ill probably find things ! and i dont wanna bother you first thing, thank you SO MUCH for that injoke guide! i'm like lvl 500 autistic so i had trouble figuring them out naturally. this makes things sm easier.

second thing... you have a bill cipher fictive? that's inch resting. i think i might also be plural too but i'm kinda off and on about it. but when u said that i looked back at the post they made and it was tagged with a #👁️? and then i looked at your other posts and there's a few tagged with a #👑. and your posts are usually tagged with #callie.txt.exe. so i thought hm. so i don't make any mistakes--what's your bill cipher fictive's name? how many people are there? is callie around the majority of the time? this is probably invasive so you don't need to respond to any of this JKHJBGVFCDXRCFGVHBJKNHBGVFCDXCGHBJKNHJBGVFCDGFVHBJ. also ive definitely Won and have obtained zero shelled feelings ever absolutely.

third. I LOVED OIL AND WATER!!! thank you sm. i haven't finished reading through all the other fics you reblogged though so when i do ill send you my thoughts on all of them in a different ask. you are so Based but not in a weird way in like a cool awesome way. fourth. i.. do rlly wanna dm you but my main thing is that i kind of Lost access to my main account a bit ago? idk how i was just stupid and Forgor

so ive been slowly trying to rebuild it on this new one. problem is, it's not Done yet. i'm worried im going to dm you and it will be Incomplete and you will forever perceive me as a Flawed, Unfinished version of myself. it would simply tarnish the wonderful 🩸🟪 brand, you know?

so i think.. if i do dm you, it'll be in a little while. i'll probably create a dedicated sideblog for the occasion when i do, ok? i do wanna hear you yap in a more controlled environment.

last thing i swear. so this actually has NOTHING to do with anything else you said but im like freaking out. so i checked your youtube channel and i noticed your description.

television for a head.

this is cool and all and your sona is SO AWESOME but this also Sucks for me because this ENTIRE TIME i've been drawing you as a computer! i have so much callibones fanart of you as a fucking desktop where it's like nested so your monitor has a little desktop assistant that is also you and it goes on forever and ever and ever with even smaller callies and that idea was WRONG!! i shouldve known from the antennae but i thought that was a bug thing not a tv thing (which, by the way, excellent choice on your part. when i'm not an assembly of shapes, i do enjoy being an insect.) but i was a FOOL!!!

so this makes me realize hey wait what else am i getting wrong? this thing is colored differently in this image than all the other images. what's the correct thing to do? and i came to the conclusion that i need to just ASK YOU! (wow who could've guessed. you're so smart.) yeah! i am! the smartest in the whole world even

if you happen to have any, i need reference sheets of your sona. if you have reference sheets of the alternate variants (or are those headmates? i saw one was called calliope and i think there was a bill cipher one so is that the fictive? i don't know but i want to draw them) those would be appreciated too. i have made a grave error and i must resolve it immediately.

with that. um. thank you for humoring me, id like to thank all our sponsors for getting me to write this ask, i will join the discord servers and message you one day because i am Not Afraid of Anything in the Whole Wide World. toodles

HELLO 🩸🟪! hope i didnt keep you waiting too long.... wanted to finish my ref first! PLUS i got a whoooole buncha busy goin on so im SUPER occupied.... but now i got time just for YOU! i definitely didnt time this one im just postin it now that i Can.... but im sure you can use the tag and your weekly browsing skills to find your way back here. hehehehe.

SECOND: very observant! yes, while we haven't made an official post for it, calliope uses the crown emoji and calcifer uses the eye emoji! that's his name, by the way. in fact, here's the whole gang, labeled with NAMES & PRONOUNS!

("who the fuck" is me, sorry. hehehehe.) (putting the id on this one out here so its easier. from left to right, you got:

the commissariat (she/they) in red, in a fancy longcoat with a jacket makin a serious pose

me, callie (it/fae/she) in green, in my usual "have a rotten day" top that shows my bra a lil and my short skirt

calliope (she/thon) in purple, wearing thons over-the-top storm supervillain dress

calcifer (he/she/it/they and it insisted on including "calcifae/calcifaer" as well) in yellow, with a suit, a shorter skirt than mine, a sword, and the bill cipher triangle-eye pose

and callyris (she/it) in pink, with short-shorts and a crop top fully showin its maintenance panel.

i'm around the majority of the time, but there's five of us includin' me and Calcifer! he's more than just bill cipher, btw. he's he/him lesbian bill cipher! hehehehe. he's also like genuinely growing as a person and i'm REALLY proud of him. also it's okay i have shelled one feelings too. calcifer says you're probably pretty easy to take advantage of and should call her.

THIRD: YAY! cedardivine, who made that peanutiel story, JUST made a separate post the other day with all thons blaseball writing. so GO CHECK THAT OUT! i sure plan to. :-D

FOURTH: cmon you dont gotta brand. EVERYONES flawed and unfinished! including me! im fucked upppp dont put me on a pedestal. im incomplete too!!!!

FIFTH HERES MY REF!!!! i made it just for you (genuinely!) so you GOTTA show me your fanart now because omg? omg???? omg???????? you made fanart of me? sobbing and crying??

also youre KINDA right about the desktop assistant thing! i fuckin love the nestedness so much and theres definitely some stuff where i imply that! but thats because.... so the actual sona is a desktop assistant virus thing. but fae takes on the appearance of a tv-head bot! so when fae's in The Real World fae uses a Made Physical version of that same cartoony self to walk around in. and on that robot's an OS running... the actual desktop assistant! so while it's not infinitely nested, you're right that my reality is Layered. i wonder if it could go deeper than that....

theres not a lotta art of the others YET but heres SOME FUCKIN AWESOME ART MY WONDERFUL FRIEND OF RIGORMARCY DREW OF THON so lookat that.

and here's calcifer's never-before-posted discord pfp, just for you:

calcifer sez: THERE'S MY CARD! GIMME A RING IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR A NEW DEITY TO CHAT UP. THE SHELLED ONE MAY BE DEAD, BUT I'M AROUND FOREVER! FOREVER.

so. do what you will with this information.

IN CONCLUSION please send me your fanart if you wanna and feel like it because thats SO AWESOME that you made some... literally misty eyed.... ill look forward to your next correspondence whether i know you as 🩸🟪 or as whatever your name is on whatever platform you wanna reach me with! feel free to shoot me a friend request on discord if tumblr aint workin for ya. tell em 🩸🟪 sent ya! because that's you. and you can send you. But not in the mail, unfortunately. 1984.

UNTIL NEXT TIME GOOBY!!!!

[nerves-nebula]

 This turtle au has made me think more about my childhood than I have in forever. (I know that’s very common but it’s too late at night in my timezone for me to think of a decent joke to make about it)

  Uh warning, complex (and probably not super relatable? I have an odd situation) feelings about parents ahead though I’m sure that’s just the usual drill for ya nowadays.

  Because like…there’s so much I relate to, but also feel like I shouldn’t. Because unlike Splinter, my parents did get better. They went to therapy, stopped hurting us, apologized for it all, and genuinely earned forgiveness by being there, caring, and listening and learning.…But it still happened, y’know? Like…they can be awesome now, but they also spent most of my childhood yelling and hitting and a bunch of other shit I’ve repressed. I've still got issues from it, and half my childhood is repressed memories while the other half is screaming at people. 

  And so I guess it’s weird trying to reconcile that. To have my fury co-exist with the fact that the people I’m mad at have grown into some of the most amazing people ever. Like I’m terrible for daring to still be mad…but then it hurts to know what the people I love are capable of, to see a proud smile all while knowing in the back of my mind that that person has physically harmed me, that they’ve given me a cold stare and smashed me into a wall with those same hands that are patting my back right now... And maybe they haven’t hurt me and my siblings in years, but…it happened and it fucking hurts still…

  IDK where I’m going with this any more, and I should probably (read: definitely) be sleeping, but I guess…well, thanks for sharing your AU. It’s uncomfortably relatable and yet somehow deeply cathartic. It’s made me think a lot about stuff I had been trying to repress, but in like, a good productive way I guess? I dunno. It hurts good. Probably gonna sleep now lol. Feel free to ignore this if you want, guess I just wanted to let you know that your AU helped me, all while being really pretty from an art standpoint…keep it up dude.

"it hurts good" hah. yeah. i get that.

sounds like youve got an ok situation goin on, for what it's worth im proud of your parents for getting better. and im happy for you. it's ok to still be mad or resent them for things did before, obviously. you might need some kinda therapy to work through or process shit but, like, there's nothing wrong with relating to this story. it's for you!

i mean, its for ME but it's also for you hahh.

[godsofthecatz]

I- Sits here- i always give my self more XD I dont know why but i like the idea of Ping having White hair...and it just kinda spiraled out of control and i dont know if we would talk about how much glitter? i put into Pings outfit...

ANYWAY- Villain Ping?- Ping being raised by Macaque instead of Lin?- “Who is this sassy lost child? Adult?” meme?Are Jin/Yin be like brothers now because i thought it would be funny and kinda cute?-... lot of things are goin through the mind right now dont judge me asdfghjk-  ill put more here because why not i guess? *warning its gonna be a bbbbiiit long*

-The reason why “starlight” is up there with Ping’s name is because Macaque calls him that..and Yin/Jin liked it so they also started calling him that,Even though Ping is still his actual name.

-In this AU Macaque finds out about his son a lot lot sooner and decides “hhmm what if i just raise and train this child and if im lucky- They will be of use to me later on as a weapon” Yes- Macaque is gonna be a bad father and no i dont know what im going to do with this information im giving my self-

-Ping is definitely not as much of a bundle of joy as we(who ever besides me reads this) knows him as,He is a lot more serious and sassy but he still has a bit of his softer side left..He just wants to make dad proud...

-idk who im answering but “yes” The only sort of friends/family to him right now are Macaque,Yin and Jin its sort of all he ever grew up with But Jin and Yin have been very..oddly nice brothers to him.

-Pings weapon is a war fan witch i sorta had in mind for it to have the same design as it does in the pictures? they just get sharper with his power. I- also had a small idea of “what if the magic lantern also tho?”

-I know i have not touched his powers on the original story,But ill touch/add it here cause ill also eventually add it/draw it to the og/AU story..Ping does have all of his fathers powers and it was going to be a problem in the og one due to him never having experience with it or fighting so it would put stress on his body trying to learning it so suddenly,So in this one he does not need to worry about that any more because Macaque taught him as soon as he could.

-Because..Macaque puts so much pressure and sorta puts his life into Pings..When Ping actually meets MK its sorta a “History repeats its self” because Ping kinda sees MK as Macaque sees Wu Kong- and feels really..Upset that MK is so lucky that he has so many people who are there for him..But the idea of being MK’s friend has crossed his mind a few times-...

-Ping does have his Six ears a lot earlier...and idk- maybe cause the hunger for some angst is a bit strong- i had the idea of not only can he hear the past/present/future he can also hear bits and pieces from his “Other lifes” (other AU’s/including the og one) basically of witch i may never make who knows-) and haha...its another thing he can get upset about- wowwee...

HAHA SO ANYWAY-  HAVE A COOL COMMISSION I GOT FOR YOUR TROUBLES- CAUSE THOUGHT MY SON LOOKS COOL <3

https://twitter.com/Buck0roro

[burgundyhaven]

Runaway

(Kit Walker x Female Reader)

Description: You run away from your parents house and your bf kit,helps and goes along with you.

Word count:1240

a/n: idk if where he works at is really a gas station or an auto shop so im going with auto shop sorry for any confusion. Huge amount of grammar and punctuation errors (sorry).Also this ones somewhat fluffy? im not sure, hope you enjoy!!

You had just ran away from your parents, they were extremely unsupportive of your relationship with kit. They thought that he was unfit for you as he didn’t have much money and he worked at an auto shop.

Your plan was to get as far away from town as possible because you knew that your parents would go after you and would accuse kit of being the one who made you leave. Though you did leave mainly because of kit, he never told you to run away or even brought up the idea so you didn’t want kit to get in any trouble.

You were driving with no particular destination in mind. You passed by the auto shop Kit worked at and you knew it was closed but you also knew he would still be in there somewhere because it was still only around 8:30 after all.

You drove your car into the shop and almost immediately you hear Kit’s voice yell out “sign says closed!”

You get out of your car and proceed to walk towards the area where you knew kit would be

Kit heard your footsteps, though he didn’t know it was you

He gets up when he hears the foot steps getting closer

“Didn’t you read the si-“ Kit said alarmed at the sight of you with rosy cheeks and eye bags so prominent that your undeeyes were at least 3 shades darker than your skin

“Y/N, my god what’s wrong”

“Kit. I ran away”

“What do you mean you ran away”

“I mean I ran away, I can’t take being there anymore. I couldn’t stand hearing how they talked about you and how they would constantly torment me everyday 24/7 nonstop. I needed to leave.”

Kit put his hands on your cheeks while his thumb wiped away a tear that slipped away from your eye

“Hey,hey,hey everything’s gonna be okay, alright?”

“Yeah, yeah I know” you said sniffling

After a while you decided you needed to get going as you knew your parents would be after you soon

“Kit, I’ve gotta go my parents will be here any minute looking for me”

“Alright doll do you know where you’re gonna go? I don’t want you getting lost- I should come with you”

“I don’t know Kit, it just doesn’t seem like a good idea”

“what do you mean, you’ll be safer if i go with you. cant have a girl as beautiful as you all alone at night. besides, won’t your parents be here lookin for me? they’ll be threatening me to tell them where you’re at”

“Okay yeah i suppose that does make sense.”

“alright then, where are we headed”

“well... i haven’t exactly planned that part out yet unfortunately. do you got anywhere we could go to”

“I do kinda have a really small house i own about an hour away from here. it’s mainly for holidays and getaways but i guess we could go there”

“kit, that’s more than fine. anything’s better than being here”

“alright but we better get goin before your parents show up here.”

“yeah probably”

kit could see the worry in your eyes,he brought you closer to him and reassured you

“(y/n) look, your parents aren’t gonna be able to find us i promise you, we’ll be safe there for at least a year if not more. you don’t got anything to worry about”

“yes, i know ” you said staring up into kits eyes

“kit we need to go now”

“Okay let me lock up everything start the car Im driving”

kit got in the car and started driving to the location of the house

“kit wait”

“what’s wrong doll”

“you don’t have any of your stuff, if we’re supposed to be staying there for a year, you need at least a few of your things we can’t risk coming back into town”

“will it make you feel better?”

“yes, a lot actually”

“fine i’ll go but i’m only gonna get a few things”

“okay good get whatever you can”

kit quickly got out of the car and went into his house and he ran in and got things like money,clothing,bills,paperwork,and the keys to the house of course

kit immediately started driving the second he got back in the car, he was not going to waste any time

“kit i don’t think you brought enough things, did you turn off everything and made sure it didn’t look like anybody was just in the house?”

“yes i did everything, and don’t worry i have enough things to last me at least 10 years”

You were on the road for about an hour and a half. You both talked (and laughed) a lot during the trip. You noticed it had begun to snow around the middle of the ride. It wasn’t much but it was enough for it to visibly start accumulating on the ground and on the windshield.

Once you arrived, you’re made sure to quickly get all of your things in the house and began to worry about if your parents could somehow find you through your license plate

“Kit what if they put out a search for me and they put the license plate and the car out on posters. They’re gonna find me and make me go back. I can’t go back there- I- I wont.”

“And you’re not gonna have to. I’ll put the car in the garage and I could remove the license plate,nobody’s gonna suspect anything, alright?”

“yeah, i guess i’m just overthinking it. thanks kit. for everything for all the helps with this, heck i’d probably be back in my house crying myself to sleep if it weren’t for you.”

“of course, i’ll do anything for my girl. And (y/n) you weren’t overthinking anything. i’d be thinking the same as you if i had parents like that”

you smiled; kit following with a wide smile revealing his dimples

“Now lets go inside before the other houses hear us and think somethings goin on”

“Alright, so you’re sure my parents wont be showing up here anytime soon?”

“I’m more than sure of it doll”

You went inside, made sure all the entrances (including the windows) were locked. You and kit watched tv and ate the small snack you brought with you and some of the things he had in a pantry.

“We should get some food tomorrow half of this stuffs beyond expired” Kit said as he read off the expiration dates of cans and packages.

“ I know I know, but we’d better cover up so if any of my moms friends are in the area, they won’t be able to make out our faces”

“well that works out perfectly considering the the snowstorm out there” kit said making you laugh

“it’s almost 2:30 am we oughta go to bed”

“fine i guess so” kit whined, reminding you of how he was when you were little

You both got ready for bed. You put on one of kits shirts and some long pajama bottoms and put on a (clean) white tshirt and flannel print pants.

You both hopped in bed and layer close to each other to keep warm as the insulation wasn’t all that good and it was extremely cold out. However, Kit didn’t get all that cold usually so it was mainly just for you.

You fell asleep in each other’s arms and it felt so good to know that you would be seeing Kit every morning instead of having to see him in secret.

[splendidshinobi]

FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST 2003 LIVE REACT: EPISODES 21-25

almost halfway done lads how we feelin'

episode 21: the red glow

ah yes barry

"i'm alphonse elric!!!!!" yes u r baby!!!

who just popped over the wall

scar im assuming

"i kill therefore i am".....barry spouting descartes rn

it was scar haha

um

hi greed

thought i saw you earlier

WHY DID THEY DRAW HIS ARMS THAT LONG

ope he found the chimera crew...

jerry jewell's evil laugh gets me every time lmao he's so great

ed has deep philosophical talks bro

also ed is chaotic but his personal morals are unshakeable

who are these prison guards gonna release

oh hey kimblee

oh hey squad

ed take out ur pokeball

um wth is that

OH MY GOD TUCKER WHAT

EW

I THOUGHT IT WAS A GIANT YODA OR A SWAMP MONSTER

he looks FUCKKEDDDD

bro of all the things i was not expecting him

oof ishval flashbacks

young scar why is your hair brown

why is it white now

WHY IS HE NAKED

whos her

lust 1.0 im assuming

ew omg tucker is literally so fuckin nasty lookin idk

idk why but he's worse than rod reiss titan for me

wait a damn minute

wait a damn fucking minute

goddamnit

what is GOIN ON

i need tucker to stop whispering he sounds like fucking voldemort on the back of quirrells head

jesus

episode 22: created human

hughes' pajamas look like armin's futon from aot junior high

the bad place???? was that greed's prison gluttony was lookin at?

im still shook af over tucker and tbh its been like 24 hours since i watched episode 21

STOP WHISPERING TUCKER

driving me up a wall

my poor son looks so tired :(

those moral principles at it again

bradley.......

ewww the way tucker walks STOP

hi envy!!!!!

so all of those prisoner guys gonna get flattened by some alchemy

hey kimblee!!!

so did greed escape with the homies???? cause i feel like he would have made his presence known already....

i feel like im missing a lot because im a ding dong

musty prison kimblee is kinda...hot....physically speaking..oops..personality wise obviously there's MUCH to work on

so envy knows hohenheim

ED BABY

he won't do it

oh no alphonse

oh god memory implants

al's identity crisis CONTINUES

they wanna become humans??? huh....doesnt really make sense for their characters...(maybe envy but more on that at 11)

is ed gonna kill these guys for al

some1!!!!!! hold!!!!! me!!!! im so stressed

is he pretending to do it and he's got another plan up his sleeve!!!!????

honestly he's so depressed i cant even tell

those unshakable moral principles at work again i see

the red water can turn ed into a god???? wtf ed doesnt want to be a god he wants to punch god

oh theres the greed squad! i found them!!! is kimblee joining up with them

maria girly!!!!!!!

THE HOMUNCULI IN THEIR STUPID UNIFORMS I--

who's the lady. i need 2 know.

episode 23: fullmetal heart

alphonse is destroyed again

poor kid

"edward sir" brosh pls!!!

oh excuse me--- ***Bloch

The Ross Slap™

winry <3

pinako takes no prisoners

ed didnt you JUST tell brosh and ross they might be right that you needed to trust adults with more shit and now youre blowing off hughes

ed's DRAWINGS im-

hi sig hi izumi!!!

al is so sad over there in that corner

poor baby son

sometimes i feel like hughes and mustang are ed and al's divorced dads

the little arakawa avatar cows in the back im CRYING!!!!!!!

“bean”

snappy al

ooffffffff

omg hughes plz

elicia is precious though we love her

"dad's friend the bookworm" omg sheska

awwww gracia made edward a cake!!!!!!!

god catch me cryin in the club

CONGRATULATIONS

"whatever" al im crying he's so sad

AL MADE BROSH OR WHOEVER CARRY HIS DESTROYED ARMOR TO THE ROOF IM ACTUALLY YELLING

"you goof"

yes winry you are correct boy is a goof

sir you are being so dramatic

give that baby a hug

"so called brother"

so we all know that was a knife through the heart for ed

al just jumped off a FUCKING ROOF and ED TRIED TO FOLLOW

so im crying

i liked this better when they HAD A CONVERSATION ABOUT AL'S FEARS AND MADE THE FUCK UP

episode 24: bonding memories

guess we're gonna play w my emotions again

sometimes like....one bit characters talk...like villager b ya know? and im like who are you i know that voice

so the nasty military has come to ruin some lives again

and barry for some reason

aww poor al

youre real you are!!!!!!

i just feel like people would know people that wear sunglasses in the rain would be ishvalan

but what do i know

obviously they dont have the white hair thing in this version

poor ed is so sad

these boys need a hug 

let me just *pulls out adoption papers*

well if scar doesnt have queen mei to adopt in 03, he’s got this little toothless boy

dont lie al you do care

ew i dont like her

the drama of this boy

so the nasty military has come to ruin some lives again part 2

apparently they are *mercenaries??? excuse me

i have some questions regarding this kid’s mom

well you know i can see why this kid feels this way about his mom

it does look like she ran off...

al and scar dream team up

HEY ED!!! HEY WINRY!!!

bout time

yall gonna have this talk now????

barry STOPPPPPP

brotherhood barry is the true king there i said it

damn scar you baddie

barry like....you already knew him

anyway

WHAT THE HELL

NO RICKKK!!!!!!

someone save this boy!!!!

oh good his mom “saved” him

ah damn thats pretty tragic

she didnt know they were right in front of her

ow

well my questions were answered

so she attacks with grape fanta. thats one way to do it

ed looks like such an angry gremlin right now this is a heartwarming moment sir please

why are ed and scar being so civil right now this is so weird

bye scar

we’ll see him again

see you later scar

episode 25: words of farewell

maes who let you buy that awful pink suit 

gracia please it better not have been you

mustang ew please

dont open the door lookin like that

what the hell are you doing in here 

so hughes WASNT in ishval here?

i think that takes a lot away from his character but anyway

bradley hangs around like a creep at every possible instant

why would bradley care about ishvalan refugees like hughes cmon

“unspeakable crimes” BRADLEY YOU LITERALLY CANNOT TALK

juliet douglas is this lady’s name

only took me 1000 episodes to figure that out

ED AND AL??? NOT DEALING WITH DANGEROUS THINGS??????? dont make me laugh assholes theyre lying thru their teeth

izumi time lets go

wow we’re still going to rush valley? wasnt really expecting that tbh

elicia i LOVE you!!!!!

ew kimblee “hi”

how did he lightning himself like that

if i were ishvalan i would not go to the south....yet ANOTHER war torn region of amestris but ok

okay

an amestrian desert biker gang rolled up to wreak havoc

HUGHES AHAHAHA 

tbh i wouldnt want to tell roy anything either stupid bitch

anyway

um why do i feel like its hughes’ death episode

he would not be shown tucking elicia in to bed otherwise 

please im not ready to be hurt again

oh no

yeah he just learned something about our girl juliet

ive been waiting for this information 

he’s gonna die before we learn anything helpful

yupppppp

hey lust figured you’d show up sooner or later

i too wish i could look that sexy pulling a kunai out of my forehead

SLOTH????????

did girly just say SLOTH

i- nothing about her seems particularly slothy but ok

u know what!!!!!!!!!!!!

ENVY HEYYY

DUMBASS ROY JUST HAAAAAD TO LEAVE

haha famous last words

oof it hurts every time

not the FUNERAL scene no!

time for me to go 

peace out homies im dead inside

yes my brigadier general 

NOT THE RAIN

COME ONNNNNN

hughes is sneezing six feet under

was ed supposed to be looking at hughes’ ghost

um....right

[brooksfms]

i had whole ass DAYS to write this intro and guess what we didn’t do ? love that for me :/ but hey thquad i’m a, i’m twenty-two, and idk who that bitch time management is but apparently i want nothing to do with ha :///////

˗ˏˋ  gregg  sulkin ／  he/him  ／  twenty  three  .  welcome to  los  angeles  ,  brooks  sinclair  !  the  glitterati  has  been  watching  you  .  rumour has  it  you  made  your  first  mark  in  the  industry  three  years  ago  &  that  your net  worth  currently  stands  at  10m  .  it  seems  as  though  you’re  enjoying  being  a  forward  for  the  la  kings  since  relocating  from  boston  ,  ma  .  some  might  say  you’d  be  a  good  fit  for  the  glitterati  due  to  your  hollywood  ranking  being  a  solid  #2   ,  &  it  helps  that  fans  speak  so  highly  of  your  beguiling  &  sedulous ways  .  unfortunately  ,  our  sources  cite  that  those  closest  to  you  aren’t  particularly  impressed with  your  impetuous  &  turbulent  tendencies  .  

ONE. BASICS.

name : brooks adriano sinclair . 

age : twenty three . 

dob : february 18th , 1996 .

gender / pronouns : cismale , he & him .

sexual & romantic orientation : bisexual & biromantic . 

height: 5′11 and three quarters ( don’t fuckin forget it ) .

appearance: brown hair , hazel eyes , a long scar across his left collarbone, various other small scars scattered around his body , a tattoo sleeve extending from his left wrist to shoulder , dustings of freckles & moles .

occupation: center for the la kings .

hometown : manhattan , new york & boston , massachusetts .

TWO. BACKGROUND.

PHEW okay i learned from the wc i sent in that apparently his mom is a politician and his dad’s into business so we’re goin with that

operating largely out of the east coast, arnaud sinclair owns one of the largest and most competitive pharmaceutical companies, antares, which pulls in an average revenue over 10 figures

the company hasn’t been without its controversies over the years, having being implicated multiple times in bribing physicians to peddle out medications for revenue purposes only, but whenever the cases are almost brought to court the charges are always suddenly dropped

and it aint cause he has the best lawyers possible *wink wink, nudge nudge*

kill me for doing that tbh all im trying to say is that his dad is corrupt but my last brain cells are NOT thriving atm

on the FLIP side his mother, carmen sinclair, is a senator with a harvard-earned law degree and a very notable no nonsense, no bullshit attitude

so while success is typical of the sinclair name, fostering a home environment suitable for raising children isn’t exactly an area of .... expertise

more often than not, the three sinclair children (brooks and whomever the fuk his siblings are) were subject to watching their father pound through bottle after bottle while bringing home a new mistress every week

the screaming and the fighting, of course, was a lovely cherry on top

it’s a loveless marriage kept together only by convenience of positive public perception, but behind closed doors the sinclair family was ANYTHING but perfect

not wanting his parents to feel left out, brooks took it upon himself to also join in on the messiness 

bouncing between boarding schools following expulsions, reckless partying, and a criminal record that’s had to be expunged multiple times, it’s a miracle that the boy had any ambitions at all

but despite poor decisions mixed with even worse ones, brooks found a passion in hockey, and it was while he was at the philips academy near boston ( some bougie ass boarding school ) that he realized he could actually do something with this

his father resented him for abandoning the family’s dynasty for the sport and, well, brooks hated his dad because... who really likes their dad anyway KSNFKNSD but he spent less and less time at home until he started playing for boston college and stopped coming home altogether 

fuck a family i guess ??

at 18, he was drafted in the first round of the 2014 nhl draft by the new york rangers, bringing him closer to his family which is something he lk resented

being the new kid is always kinda rough but brooks loved the pressure of being expected to perform on the top-line, putting up 60 points in his first season

since success and happiness is boring, he soon fell under the wing of the more impulsive teammates who took quite well to partying and began missing team meetings, or if he did show up it would be post spring break level hungover, and he frequently argued with a lot of the veterans on the team

despite being one of the must prolific centers on the team, hq felt his attitude was a detriment to the team and thus he was shipped off to the la kings after the 2015-2016 season 

despite the pretty contract extension he signed, he’s a rough around the edges east coaster who’s living it up in la, trying to make a name for himself that’s distinct from the clutches of his family’s corrupt bs

THREE. PERSONALITY.

he doesn’t have one hehe

v v v goal-oriented, like he likes to get into some shit don’t get me wrong, but it’s almost like he has something to prove ?? he never wants to have to rely on his family’s wealth for anything or... really... associate w them at all NSFKNS

driven to the point where he isn’t afraid to step on other people if it means he’s getting to the top :// and can be v manipulative in that respect

and if he isn’t busy manipulating someone he’s trying to figure out exactly what it takes to get under their skin 

the kid’s got a wee bit of anger issues folks, would probably win the ‘most likely to get into a bar fight after someone looks at u the wrong way’ superlative 

will swing on sight just to spice up his tuesday night 

doesn’t really do well w settling down, but once he does he’s in it 4 real and probably has gotten his heart broken once or twice and that shit hurted

kinda the epitome of break up with your girlfriend i’m bored except not a bop and will very gladly break up a relationship just to watch the downfall like that lil girl grinning in front of a burning building

“hurt other people so u can’t get hurt urself” - the motto of a dumb bitch

but!! on the bright side, he loves to party so at least there’s some consistency in his life

would rather challenge u to see who can pound a 5th first before talking about any kinda “feelings” so there’s that on that

likes to live financially smart but also probably has 3 luxury cars that he drives once a year

loves his  siblings w his whole heart n soul but dont fucKIN bring up his parents or he’ll screech

FOUR. WANTED CONNECTIONS.

these are always the WORST but i know for a Fact that he needs a roomie so they can turn up and make grilled cheeses at 3 am baked out of their minds

his sibLINGS

maybe ur typical fwb??

exes on bad terms ( cause who needs happiness )

ex-flings

a neighbor or two :~)

someone pls give me a good enemy plot

saying he’s hard to tolerate is the underestimation of the century but any close friends would be……. fire

secret hookup for whatever reason? ( maybe someone hes trying to hide from the team IDK idk )

teammates!!

someone he’s fucked over in the past

someone who’s fucked him over in the past bc equality LIKE idk someone who he thought he was close w growing up and they were really just trying to get to him bc of his money.... as a matter of fact that could apply to any point of his life KSNFSK just make him unhappy pls

[wildfangz]

@liliithvatore tagged me in that simself thing thats been goin around DAYS ago but here it finally is! also thank you for the tag this was fun :-]

I tag @slythersim @thelurgoyf @seoulchii @weicyn @solitasims @daisydezem @raha-plays-the-sims if they want to do it & anyone that just wants to do it in general! message me and I’ll even @ u directly if u want. 

anyway lets DO THIS shitload of questions under the cut u’ve been warned!!!

1. what is your name?

julian

2. what is your nickname?

jewel, jules

3. birthday?

oct 26th

4. what is your favorite book series?

percy jackson and the olympians will probably always own my heart & soul

5. do you believe in aliens or ghosts?

yes & yes. tho i do think a lot of alien sightings and conspiracy theories and what not are bullshit

6. who is your favorite author?

maggie stiefvater probably? also cornelia funke but its been years since ive read anything by her so i cant be sure BUT i loved inkheart & the thief lord so much

7. what is your favorite radio station?

ummm when i listen to the radio at all i kinda just switch between two rock stations and our popular music station.

8. what is your favorite flavor of anything?

blue raspberry !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tasty and i love a blue tongue

9. what word would you use often to describe something great or wonderful?

cool. or bitchin’.  i play it simple

10. what is your current favorite song?

hands like houses - revive

11. what is your favorite word?

roulette and inhibition which i never get to use either as much as i want !

12. what was the last song you listened to?

emarosa - givin’ up ! its a bop!

13. what tv show would you recommend for everybody to watch?

the new she-ra on netflix its so good. and gay

14. what is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down?

moana. its also like the only movie i dont have trouble getting thru despite how many times ive already seen it

15. do you play video games?

16. what is your biggest fear?

idk... being inherently unlovable i guess n ending up alone? also spiders !

17. what is your best quality, in your opinion?

im fairly open-minded and laid back. Unless someones being like, purposely nasty or something I generally don’t get defensive or aggressive. also a lot of little quirks that piss others off dont bother me im very u do u as long as its not actually harming anyone and ive had people tell me this makes it easier to open up to me so thats probably my best quality....

18. what is your worst quality, in your opinion?

....at the same time though i do get very sensitive when faced w/ criticism even if its of the fair variety when its not phrased really gently for various reasons and i dont like that. especially since I have a tendency to not even talk to people about it. I’ll just immediately start distancing myself. also other than that i think overall I have a really high tolerance lvl but if you cross that line I hold a grudge like a motherfucker

9. do you like cats or dogs better?

cats! dogs are good too but cats are a lot easier for me to handle...and quieter generally but even when they’re loud cat sounds dont get to me quite as much as barks do

20. what is your favorite season?

autumn but im starting to really like summer for some reason? wack :/

21. are you in a relationship?

nope

22. what is something you miss from your childhood?

the lack of responsibility, probably. that sounds real bad lmao but for me its like...I know I’ve grown in various ways over the years but I also feel like so many of my experiences, my trauma, my mental health has held me back and I don’t think I’m mentally where I should be for my age. so all the responsibility of adulthood is just..really overwhelming for me sometimes, even though ive been given a pass from certain aspects of it and the rest is pretty simple its the idea!!!!

23. who is your best friend?

my ex

24. what is your eye color?

25. what is your hair color?

26. who is someone you love?

my mom

27. who is someone you trust?

not really anyone rn unfortunately...would like 2 work on that

28. who is someone you think about often?

are my OCs a fair answer because i am always thinking about my babies.....

29. are you currently excited about/for something?

my favorite webcomic (that also has two of my all time favorite characters in it) just came back!! the artist disappeared back in 2015 like the day after I binge-read the whole fucking thing & i was so disappointed but its BACK and 2018 has been redeemed

30. what is your biggest obsession?

sims probably! i could talk about anything relating to it for hours

31. what was your favorite tv show as a child?

there were so damn many its hard to even think and figure out the most notable ones...i really, really liked teen titans though?

32. who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone?

my ex, again

33. are you superstitious?

not terribly so but somewhat. I take certain things as signs and I mean I do believe in astrology & such to a degree

34. do you have any unusual phobias?

i used to be afraid of mirrors but thats all i can think of and its not even a thing anymore...the only other thing is tornadoes but i dont think its unusual. but it definitely sucks for me ‘cause i live in tornado alley!

35. do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it?

behind it....like taking pretty pictures and dont like ppl capturing my image 2 film

36. what is your favorite hobby?

sims.....also singing!!! and drawing!!!! video editing!!!!!!!!! the works

37. what was the last book you read?

The Dream Thieves....havent finished it though because last time i went to read it a spider was lying in wait and im traumatized

38. what was the last movie you watched?

coco i think???

39. what musical instruments do you play, if any?

drums, various other percussion instruments, and violin mainly

40. what is your favorite animal?

ferrets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

41. what are your top 5 favorite tumblr blogs that you follow?

uhhhhh @bratsims @liliithvatore @cabsim @wildlyminiaturesandwich @keysims pls dont feel bad if i didnt include u these were just the first to pop into my head and ive been following some of them since I first made my blog!! and have kept up with their stories completely and enjoy them etc check them OUT !

42. what superpower do you wish you had?

shapeshifting!!! dysphoria? gone. ugliness? gone. want to morph into a fucked up clown and scare people when they realize all the classic clown features are a real actual part of my face? possible!

43. when and where do you feel most at peace?

chillin’ at the pool in summer during the part of the day when no ones there.... swimming is always relaxing 2 me then i love just resting under the sun and drying off afterwards especially since we have a little pond nearby and i can hear the water! its nice

44. what makes you smile?

always and without fail? interacting with anyone i have a crush on. i’ll look like a dope the whole time

45. what sports do you play, if any?

i used 2 play basketball a lot. Like not seriously but it was a thing

46. what is your favorite drink?

dr pepper and monster energy (original flavor) pumps through my veins at this point. we love a carbonated beverage

47. when was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody?

two years ago for my ex and I’s first year anniversary... I never got it mailed but I did at least take a picture of it (with included caption because my handwriting is atrocious). i was very up front about being a romantic and see heres the PROOF

48. are you afraid of heights?

nope! very excited by them actually

49. what is your biggest pet peeve?

i cant stand passive aggressive behavior. my stance is either get over it or quit acting like a bitch because otherwise im just going to ignore you thats the scorpio way (in all seriousness I really, really do recommend not putting up with it and ignoring it until they decide to be up front with you. it can be exhausting constantly reading into conversations and its not healthy for you or them. if they have something to say they need to learn to talk about it properly, and that lack of social skills is not ever on you)

50. have you ever been to a concert?

yep! i think about....six or so? i love them...which is really funny im autistic and EVERYTHING about them should freak me out and they do in other circumstances but at a show i just live for it

51. are you vegan/vegetarian?

nope! ive thought before id like to go vegetarian...but i couldnt do it with my health problems. also i love shrimp too much

52. when you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?

ive always wanted to do something creative! when i was rlly young I thought a lot about singing and acting and writing in particular...all things im still interested in.... also i wanted to be a dictator ages 4-7 because i told my mom i wanted to be president of the world and make people do what i say and she said “honey thats a dictator not a president”. i then made that known at school and that turned into a situation!

53. what fictional world would you like to live in?

pokemon universe or bust. 

54. what is something you worry about?

never being able to do things i want to do or catching up with others because of my disabilities

55. are you scared of the dark?

yes but a reasonable amount i think

56. do you like to sing?

yes :]

57. have you ever skipped school?

yes i used to play sick a LOT and as my parents caught onto it id even go all out to convince them. i was good at school but i hated it so much

58. what is your favorite place on the planet?

dunno! malls maybe i love shopping and looking at material objects i wish to own

59. where would you like to live?

oregon! portland in particular thats been my dream for a few years now

60. do you have any pets?

a cat! he lives with my dad & grandma though...hes grown up there and likes going outside so I felt bad about taking him with me when i moved out but anyway this is him hes fat and stupid and i love him his name is coffee

61. are you more of an early bird or a night owl?

night owl because my rhythm is all fucked up but in my heart....an early bird...if i get a good nights sleep i’ll be up early yacking your ear off and so excited for the day

62. do you like sunrises or sunsets better?

sunsets are prettier...but sunrises feel more refreshing

63. do you know how to drive?

nope ! im gay !

64. do you prefer earbuds or headphones?

headphones. better sound quality also discourages people from talking to me slightly more

65. have you ever had braces?

nope! but i need them

66. what is your favorite genre of music?

post-hardcore maybe?

67. who is your hero?

every trans person living their truth and being open and loud about who they are past present & future. the worlds not particularly kind to us and our existence alone is considered a radical act, so its always given me hope to see others refusing to pretend to be someone they’re not in this environment and I’ll always have mad respect for that

68. do you read comic books?

i read manga and webcomics...ive always wanted to get into superhero comics but the amount of issues and different versions is ridiculous and makes it inaccessible 2 me 

69. what makes you the most angry?

i mean its hard to pinpoint what makes me angry the MOST...but a contender is definitely how some people feel free to treat others with cruelty and think its their god given right to deny or attack someones existence in some way, & how acts of kindness, even the most basic are branded as liberal bullshit or whatever....it goes against everything i was taught growing up

70. do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book?

real book! electronic device can be easier but....rough on the eyes after a while and nothing beats the real thing for me

71. what was your favorite subject in school?

language arts...at least when we did creative writing stuff

72. do you have any siblings?

two older sisters & an older brother that passed away years ago but. still my brother u kno

73. what was the last thing you bought?

mocha frappe baby!!!!!

74. how tall are you?

5′4″

75. can you cook?

a little bit....not as much as id like to though but im learning

76. what are three things that you love?

storms, cheesy breadsticks, and cat purrs

77. what are three things that you hate?

unnecessary rudeness, being talked down to or generally treated like im stupid, grapefruit which is the worst thing on this list

78. do you have more female friends or more male friends?

female i think?

79. what is your sexual orientation?

im the big bad promiscuous bisexual your parents warned you about

80. where do you currently live?

oklahoma. gofundme campaign to get me out

81. who was the last person you texted?

my friend jojo! just Now!

82. when was the last time you cried?

yesterday afternoon but im a changed man now thats behind me. i will cry about different things soon

83. who is your favorite youtuber?

the mcelroy brothers. also super best friends play. matt, pat & woolie are all great tbh

84. do you like to take selfies?

depends on whether i feel ugly or terribly dysphoric that day or not

85. what is your favorite app?

ummmm....love live school idol festival ive been playin for years its an addiction

86. what is your relationship with your parent(s) like?

dad = bad mom = okay. theres some issues that strain it but its not too bad

87. what is your favorite foreign accent?

i have no idea what the fuck australians are talking about half the time but i dig it anyway 

88. what is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit?

Italy, Greece, Germany, Japan, Mexico, various other states (ive only been out of state three times. twice to texas and then once to kansas. for five minutes)

89. what is your favorite number?

6!! 26 also

90. can you juggle?

ive always wanted to but alas.... :-[

91. are you religious?

i suppose...but im rlly not into organized religion

92. do you find outer space of the deep ocean to be more interesting?

space probably theres so fucking much of it man!

93. do you consider yourself to be a daredevil?

not to brag but sometimes i eat my mcdonalds hamburgers cold from the fridge so you can figure that one out yourself B)

94. are you allergic to anything?

pecans. not deathly allergic though so catch me eating turtle pie anyway! 

95. can you curl your tongue?

nope :[

96. can you wiggle your ears?

nope :[

97. how often do you admit that you were wrong about something?

usually as soon as i realize....unless someones being real smug and annoying then i might be stubborn about it

98. do you prefer the forest or the beach?

ive never been to the beach but i love her!!!

99. what is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you?

probably that you have to look at your accomplishments differently when you’re disabled or just struggling, to not be so down on yourself because its a fact that what might be a mole hill to someone else is a mountain to you and you have to judge yourself accordingly. Like maybe you weren’t able to clean the whole house, but washing the dishes and tidying your desk doesn’t usually get done but you did it. That that should be celebrated because while it would also feel good if you did more, you still did something and thats great all things considered.

100. are you a good liar?

sometimes, really depends what im lying about and if im like....into it at all. If my guts against it for whatever reason I’ll have trouble

101. what is your hogwarts house?

i always get slytherin or hufflepuff! usually with like 1 point difference

102. do you talk to yourself?

i am talking to myself right now as i fill this out

103. are you an introvert or an extrovert?

extrovert mainly! i used to think i was more introverted but now i think a lot of exhaustion when theres any comes from me just going the extra mile and actively trying to read people and pick up on social ques.... if I just chill im fine

104. do you keep a journal/diary?

nope...ive tried but i just cant keep up with it so i do the next best thing. shouting into the void on the internet to a bunch of strangers

105. do you believe in second chances?

depends on what you did the first time. Some people just don’t deserve taking that risk imo...but i can be a little guarded so maybe thats a bit too harsh

106. if you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do?

turn it in, unless there was no identifying things in it & it was found somewhere kinda random. Then I’d maybe hold onto it unless my gut challenged that

107. do you believe that people are capable of change?

absolutely. i mean thats all we do throughout our lives is change and evolve...that being said I think extremely drastic changes are maybe not entirely impossible, but extremely rare, and the residue of the former self usually sticks around in some form

108. are you ticklish?

yes, dangerously so

109. have you ever been on a plane?

nope

110. do you have any piercings?

one day hopefully!

111. what fictional character do you wish was real?

asra from the arcana.....even if he wasn’t my boyfriend thats just a dude u could chill and eat some pomegranates with u know. Before I downloaded the app my friends kept telling me he was made for me and he really was he ticks like everything on my Favorite Characters Feature List except villain but he has that particular allure & attitude i like so much in villains so thats not a single point off hes perfect

112. do you have any tattoos?

nope...one day! hopefully!

113. what is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far?

accepting my genderqueerness and bisexuality definitely. Self Love hasn’t been perfected just yet but that was such a huge step in the right direction

114. do you believe in karma?

yes! she doesn’t get shit done as much as id like however

115. do you wear glasses or contacts?

glasses. not contacts yet because my eye doctor is a bitch

116. do you want children?

I do....just not sure if id be a good parent. Its really important to me if I had a child itd be for the right reason and I could raise them well in a healthy environment & be able to take care of all their needs yknow

117. who is the smartest person you know?

probably my friend jojo

118. what is your most embarrassing memory?

one time i looked outside and the sunset was really pretty and i wanted to get a photo of it so i walked out.....and stood like right by the street so there weren’t trees in my way...and then i realized mid-pic 1) i am not wearing pants & my shirt is full of holes 2) id been depressed for days so my hair was a tangled mess. I tailed it back inside so i didnt even get a nice pic it was blurry!

119. have you ever pulled an all-nighter?

120. what colour are most of you clothes?

black i didnt even have to think about that one

121. do you like adventures?

they are pretty swell

122. have you ever been on tv?

a few times when i was little. always photobombing the news reporters 4 what i thought would eventually lead 2 fame & fortune

123. how old are you?

21

124. what is your favorite movie quote?

this is technically lyrics to that lil song in moana at the end but

“ They have stolen the heart from inside you. But this does not define you.”

hits me hard every time! emotional impact? i know her

125. sweet or savory?

sweet!!!!!!!! gotta balance out my bitter somehow

[zed-36]

i was thinking about this a lot, and normally i wouldnt go so hard on headcanons related to where characters live because usually its not relevant (or usually its established in canon) but WR/Acceleracers leaves a lot vague and with everything centering around driving and the fact a few locations have been named, i got curious thinking about where the drivers all came from mostly during World Race because Tezla really just went a chose good drivers from around the world- so many people probably didnt even live in the states.

so, im just gonna ramble about......locations, more so focused on the state of everyone in Acceleracers. considering i live in LA i felt pretty comfy thinking about the real life locations bc i actually know where those places are and ive come up with some pretty specific ideas based on my experience in socal.

It didnt come to mind at first but we’d have to assume all the Teku members and Metal Maniac members are in California-- simply because Vert lives in cali, and he seems to be able to conveniently go home from where they are based through the movie. i can only guess Tezla’s new base was just placed somewhere else in Arizona, maybe more towards Nevada? but yeah, that sets up the “boundary” i feel is logical. they are probably within socal, Nevada and Arizona. maybe a little for some characters norcal.  thats not to say some of them didnt grow up somewhere else, though.

Teku guys first:

Vert, we obviously know lives near the beach in cali, and my first thought went to Ventura. Its not that far from LA and in Alec’s comic (issue 2) they are driving in LA in what i wanted to assume was on their way back to Tezla’s. i also feel they couldve been going for Long Beach but...i like Ventura more.

Kurt-- while i said everyone on Teku/MM is based in cali Kurt being in WR lets me assume he came from somewhere else and personally believe he lived in like... Chicago, or something. some sort of major city but probably not LA until he came out for WR and got to know Vert after. Though considering he was apparently in grand prix and did lots of racing before i imagine he likely traveled a lot. so id say he now just lives somewhere in LA- maybe like, west Hollywood coughs aka the gay place

Nolo+Tone i immediately felt for San Diego. i love it there and it always brings on such a good vibe- id say “chill” vibe but w how opposite Nolo is of chill for the whole series it wouldnt sound like it matches, but. ya know. 

ok, this one is oddly specific. but Shirako? ok so Shirako always comes off like one of those kids id see in highschool who was like really into their own zone- their super specific interest they had no shame in but everyone kinda always thought he was weird? him and his music and his insanely chill attitude would kinda stick out- probably seems kinda cool but hes just so...like that but no one else is really like that. so i cant help but imagine he lives in a sort of town that isnt very big but small enough that someone like him stands out (my ideas as to why hes in Teku even tho hes so quiet and introverted anyways). idk what town id name but i cant help but think of where i live but smaller so like, the out skirting towns of LA.

At first i had imagined Karma living in northern california or in the middle but i suddenly realized she’d fit in Burbank pretty well, so im goin with that tbh.

Metal Maniacs now..... which were a bit tougher to figure out

Markie...bit of an interesting one because immediately i was like “this guy is not capable of functioning enough to have an apartment or house” mostly considering he was in prison. so i like to imagine Kurt gave him the chance to live with him, but bc Markie is Markie he didnt want to and secretly lives w idk, their grandparents who live in Malibu. (and probably doesnt tell anyone that bc its embarrassing and makes sure no one visits his house) EDIT: reading the comics that came out before the World Race movie, Markie’s comic shows a flashback taking place in New Jersey- he’s racing with Kurt. something i hadnt mentioned or gone over was his very obvious New York accent- which i realize they never mention in relation to Kurt who is his brother... its obvious we can consider Markie lived in New York long enough to get that accent but... why doesnt  Kurt have it??? Mostly stating this to clear up my thoughts on Kurt’s location and Markie-- I’m imagining their parent split up and Kurt maybe moved out of state early in life? Who knows, Hot Wheels canon is a mess.

Tork i dont have much of an opinion on, but want to assume to he probably lives in San Diego, near Tone/Nolo. probably started a rivalry early on.

Porkchop...... took me a bit but i immediatly thought about the most country city/town i know which is Newhall. however i would assume he came from somewhere else and it would have to be Arizona- not sure where exactly.

Monkey. i dont have much to say on him either but probably Arizona, he knows Porkchop so they likely knew each other for a long time and moved to cali over time for whatever reasons. 

Taro is actually a tough one for me to pin down. i feel like Taro is so good he simply Exists.  ok but for real somewhere in downtown LA or maybe somewhere in Hollywood bc i feel like Taro and Kurt both kinda fit those vibes. (always kinda liked to imagine theyre good friends outside of their teams and wanted to live in the same general place)

after all this though the question may be “how do they all know each other? how would they meet if they dont like in the same place??” car meet ups are a thing in many places but they are definitely a thing in socal/LA. mostly modded street racing car meets. my best headcanon is they all met through going to meets and becoming friends and eventually grouping up and forming rivalries. 

[starlightshoe]

What do you think the God tiers of Gorillaz are?

hooo boy i may be average at classpecting and it may be 1 am but sit down for this one im goin all in here + lots of rambling (highly based off the telekom interviews as well as my knowlege of the lore and also the extended zodiac aspect list and mspa class list are also both helpful)

2D is a pretty obvious doom player i think, from “fate’s chosen sufferers” (d-day, abuses, phase 3 basically) “great wisdom and empathy“ (law degree, this mfer is pretty nice generally) even the doom player’s we’ve seens grouchy attitude shows through in the phase 3 interviews, and in generalthat his tendencies(addictions, etc)kinda doom him to eventual poor health/death theres also destiny involved(as a character destined to face whatever jamie writes for as long as gorillaz itself stays a thing irl) class-wise id pin him as an heir possibly, i mean his life before the band and also the tree incident seemed pretty ok i remember so he kinda inherited the doom suffering and also mituna fello heir of doom also suffered brain damage as a result of fate so. hes also the most prospit dreamer ive ever fucking seen optimistic “What’s happening right now is all that counts.” is like the extended zodiacs definition of a prospit dreamer

Noodle is a pretty hard one to nail down but for now ill say shed be a heart player possibly? she’s described as a feminist-anarchist-avenging-angel-intellectual-soul-sister-of-mercy, and canonically helps the guys out emotionally(even murdoc whomst she cant stand normally), heart has quite a bit to do with soul, and heart players can also be described as “cold,” which noodle herself admits she seems to be until she gets to know people. she could be described as life, but life players often don’t care for theirselves, and noodle does seem to “remember to look after myself” this also kinda pins her as a sylph or maid probably a maid of heart, which can both heal herself as well as others emotionally. though she has a varied personality too, and many interests in contrasting areas like zombie killing racecar driving and possibly engineering to her name that’d suggest otherwise. probably a prospit dreamer

Russel is shown to be very active in social activism as of late, and shows many qualities of dersites (restless, introverted, rebellious, skeptic, etc) however he isn’t a pessimist (”So I found the positive, y’ know?…We have the power”) and seems to rely on emotional impulse rather than cold logic, which could pin him as either i guess. Aspect wise id say hed be probably a time player?? i wouldnt say russel would just sit there as bad shit went down, especially not in phase 4. classwise is hard to say, hed fit pretty well in the seer class i think,he’d fit right in now able to see what problems he needs to solve and what decisions need to be made to keep everyone from murdering each other 5 minutes into the session or whatever, just, i guess i get definitely a sort of reALLY active type of classpect vibe from him,thought it must be even more tiring on the poor dude but id feel hed be able to handle this the best.

Murdoc,, this mfer hardest one to classify bc hes…murdoc. id start by saying he’d probably be a derse dreamer to start what with restlessness/looking towards the past and future of stardom/stepping back from limelight to be appreciated for musical talent, but yet agAIN could say he fits prospits impulsivity and emotional decision shit but were ginna put him on derse bc everyones gonna b=go and also im tired. speaking of purple the top 2 aspects ive decided could possibly be are rage (obvious reasons, chAOTIC, also the hatred for false ideas, lies and sheepish societies, will not hesitate to make an idea reality at whatever cost, “The fourth coming of Murdoc. Even more explosive than the other three times.The world better be ready for some painful truths, cos this time I’m fucking furious” is the most rage player thing ive ever heard) or mind (cunning, apparently was writing music at 9,“prising open the dark recesses of my mind, I could write songs that were almost unintelligible in horrible beauty,” literally described as a “mastermind and musical evil genius”)for class i feel like hes either a knight that uses either as his own weapon or to his own benefit that also hides their true personality behind a facade, or actually a fucking lord, which requires a shitton of suffering and effort (could be fulfilled by his childhood abuse/effort in managing the fucking band all this time idk im lazy) but hed become the damn end all be all in rage/ mind who knows this took like 3 hours and im tired and hed be the ultimate Green if mind was his aspect so that makes me lean towards rage

i accept any challenges to these bc like i said im probably misinterpreting shit all over the place anyways im tired and ill be here all week

[edgyearring]

On a more serious note tho (dw its nothing negative abt u guys, i love ya’ll wtf) i got s/t to say under this here cut b/c it might get long idk

I am having an issue……. because of my scoliosis ive been in a lot of pain recently. Ive been going to the chiropractor for years now to try and help straighten my back. Stuff was goin’ good but here in the past few days my tail bone has been killing me (albeit the pain is worse now than when it started a couple days or so ago)

It sounds kinda dumb (seriously. My ass literally hurts) and i was also hoping after my last adjustment at the chiro id be okay but alas. I feel i should make this post b/c of how bad it’s gotten.

It hurts to sit, it hurts to stand, and it hurts to lay down. Crouching is the only thing that sorta alleviates it. It mostly feels like im constantly being stabbed down there tho and (as u can imagine) it is not comfortable.

This, of course, makes it difficult to do much of anything. Including writing… it’s hard to focus bc it hurts and i also keep having to switch positions to try and ease the pain from sitting or laying one way for a while. Ive also (as u might guess) had trouble spleeping and ya’ll know my sleeping habits are bad enough as is, so ive not rlly gotten much sleep lately;;

Im mostly putting this out here ‘cause ive been worried that it might seem like im ignoring some ppl or s/t gjcjvgd but i just cant do as many rp replies as id like to rn and it’s hard to focus on responding to ims and things too.

Im kinda just doing what i can through the pain since i literally cant avoid it (and id get bored just fidgeting around in pain fhchcgd) so yeha. I’ll still probs be doing some stuff rp wise but not a lot (which is a real shame bc im p motivated for once ?? Why does s/t always happen when im actually motivated abt things jfc.)

Hopefully the next time i go to the chiropractor (which is p soon, possibly even tomorrow? I forget but yeh) i can get this checked over more thoroughly and get fixed up. Im a lil scared i might end up needing back surgery though because i happen to have an extra bone in my spine and like… im wondering if it could be the cause of this.

[shinxolotl]

i know this might sound very stupid, but i think i might be a furry. i created my first fursona as a joke, my friends convinced me and as i connect the dots... damn... i think i kind of am one! but well, cringe culture did the job and made me hate them in the past, so I guess I have what one says is internalised furryphobia. yep, just made that up. I'm also genuinely confused and I don't know anything about the fandom!!

(ignore that i accidentally posted this unfinished)

oh boy u sound a lil bit like myself !!

unnecessary backstory of how i joined:

back in sixth grade i had many fursonas + even made ones for kids in my class without them knowing. i didnt know what the Fuck a furry was, but i knew what a fursona was and i Wanted one. once i was in seventh grade though, i forgot all about it. then in eighth grade i found out what a furry is from this hell site and it all went downhill (my freshman year i Massively hated them, n sophomore year was my kpop phase so ofc there was furry hate). however in sophomore year there was a person in my art class who was v openly a furry; they would even wear a tail to school. at the time i didn't think much of it except "damn they're really fkin brave",,,, until the beginning of this year

i had talked abt makin a fursona for a while n so i finally did n well,,,, i got sucked in. i now have three fursonas (send me an ask abt them if u want im Very willing to talk abt them 👀) + two pairs of paws (both actually unfinished oops) n a tail.

okay for the Actual fandom heres what ive learned:

furaffinity + furry amino are,,,,, not good places in my experience. i recommend staying away.

the furry community on here seems kinda small ?? esp fursuiters n fursuit makers :((

instagram is good !! i spend hours goin through the fursuit tags on there (as u can see thats mostly what im interested in, but i've had luck on the art side as well)

twitter is also good, better for artists (theres a lot of art sharing threads) but it also doesn't give much exposure

idk how well this explained stuff, but all u really gotta know is that you're supposed to have fun !! most of us are creators (whether artists, fursuit makers, writers, or other things) but u don't have to be !! im not really active in the fandom anymore besides my love of fursuits + my fursonas, but really jus play around w them

(as for ignoring nsfw, u just learn to scroll past it p fast lmao)

[ayyponine]

yall im touched u want to know

just a warning these questions will low key get v real and personal so let’s dive into the pain shall we

*screaming yes!! the insanely cool jared kleinman: i think idk before i even turned twelve both my grandma and aunt were lost to cancer and i often think abt them bc they were just. such good and interesting people and i missed having them in my life while going through high school and becoming an adult. up until the time they passed that bond was really solid and i just know they would’ve been people i couldve relied on. also my mom doesn’t really have any immediate family left except fr me and my sister so it would’ve been nice if she’d had them for a bit longer.

cynthia: oh man i’m sure i’d ask my sister some shit to have her explain herself but i wouldnt even know whhere to begin and how to phrase it bc how do i even ask what i want to ask. smth between do you regret what you’ve done, do you even fully realise what you’ve done, how do you feel abt yourself, what do you think abt me, who do you blame, why do you hate me, have you always hated me like this, what have i done to deserve the way ive been treated but like honestly - just because you get a truthful answer frm someone wouldnt mean it’d be the objective truth anyway (im sure that in her eyes im the absolute villain and deserved every bit of it) so. i’d need to figure out how to factor that in as well idk.

if i could tell her: this is real fukn corny but i’d probably just spend it with a friend. just quality times with any friend that i low key miss a lot. we’d just talk and take in the view.

anybody have a map: a theme park i guess? those are always fun? maybe some distant disney land park would be cool (*yt searches vloggers exploring those parks and having a good time while im tearing up a lil* it’s like im really there)

requiem: goin to pride with you guys!! this year and the previous two it’s been so great and i’m so glad we stayed fr so long this past weekend to hang out n talk at the cafe i’m really glad we all got to spend that time together it was all i ever couldve wanted really. another great memory i have is my (still living) grandparents who used to do produce n flowers got this huge empty field behind their house now so us, ten grandchildren, esp the younger ones, we used to drive an old car through that field and the woods and fuck shit up a lil (deep mud tracks and side wheelies all round) and one day it was so hot the others had gone swimming. the adults assumed i’d gone with them but i hadn’t. so i stayed in that dried mud n hay smelling car for a few hours with my tunes, just sort of kicking it back, taking in the sheer vibrance of the colours. twas a pretty fukn incredible way to spend the afternoon and if it turns out heaven is real after all, i wouldn’t be surprised if mine would be exactly like that.

good for you: my friends???? i would fucking die for yall 100%

waving through a window: *cracks knuckles to get typing because all the kids are too real. i mean the adults as well since they just mean so well, tried so hard n got so far etc etc theyre all just trying their best to make things work but dem kids. lord. with alana just throwing herself into projects (to maybe. not have to admit Stuff and keep busy and just sort of low key high key Relating to others though) n having trouble makin friends, and jared diffusing w humor and just like alana just kinda hiding behind a facade of false confidence (they truly both just. fake it till they make it. but not really making it at all so *nervous sweat*). but really Main Character and the Murphys get the most exposition and are probably therefor easiest to relate to so imma get into that entire mess fr a sec to close off.

evan: Anxiety™/ like the moment you start yr bootleg chancesare you’ll hear the nervous ramble before you even see that boy so it’s like lmao same what the fuck/ “either you interact with pizza delivery guy or you dont get food” …. *stomach grumble* “this is fine”/ denial city: population: me/ im ok mom :’))) just dandy dont u worry abt a thing/ speaking of, yes, fuckn love my mom, dont love being a burden to her but sure as fuck love my mom/ how do i m a ke fr ien d / all of “words fail” like cool cool cool :))) fuck/ *nervous laugh, nervous wreck / people pleaser to the max/ always caught between saying too much and not saying enough, constantly worrying abt both and turning that shit over in mind indefinitely

connor (problematic fave): tfw mental illness/ yall: cool we got another fukn fuck up with bad coping skills fr you to relate to me *groaning great thanks put him on the pile with the others/ hOw do i MaKe  fr iEn d??/ ((what is trusting other people. always assume the worst and let that snowball you straight into Hell))/ ((what is actually talking abt your issues. get upset? shut people out, withdraw, take out on self, rinse and repeat))/ *me listening to that cut song “a little bit of light” like ……mother fuck. same @ all of this i am shook. even like. possibly tmi bc idk how many of you have ever been that far down that youre considering yr options re: methods to Go but guess what’s in the personal top three. i mean top one. has been for a long while. fuck. moment of ice cold realisation re: that line on missing pills/missing kid tbh like nbd but damn alright jesus christ/ irl more flawed than the way u remember it but ok then sure / …..tol. good hair. occasional bitch face/ *finger guns

zoe: resident family peacekeeper/ tfw yr older sibling is some kind of intoxicated and tryna bust through yr door screaming n threatening yr life :))/ tfw theyre gone and youre learning how to breathe again/ tfw others are pretending they were a perfectly likeable or even admirable person and you are low key screaming on the inside continuously/ tfw someones like dont you miss them and youre like :)) not really :))) bc youre sick n tired of lying to protect they ass and ready to pull out dem receipts at any point tbh like give me one fukn reason/ trying her Best to just. live her life to the fullest/ trying her Best re: everything really including trying to make it ok fr other people/ gr8 looks and personality thanks

(yall see why relating to them all is. confusing. this entire musical has like 1.5 happy songs the rest is pure Suffering)

[blookmallow]

every time i find any kind of answers in fran bow i end up w/ like 50 more questions

---

i spent like 10 minutes theorizing on what possible reasons itward could have had for locking me up since “he’s just evil” seemed too obvious and this is the one thought that literally never occurred to me im crying 

this hurt me,

i still dont know if hes Entirely Trustworthy but....im lov him 

i was rereading the notebook now that i understand more things 

leo or leon or w/e this guy’s name was also was seeing doubles of himself that were encouraging him toward suicide? so

its likely either they have the same illness or the demon affects people in the same ways or something 

nO!!!!!!! NO FUCK OFF I WAS SO CLOSE

,,,hhhhuh

this also confirms that the parents being slashed to bits is actually what happened and not just like. a stylized nightmare of what happened or something (aka it could not have been fran bc a little girl wouldn’t have the strength to accomplish something like that even if it was. some alternate self or something) 

its seeming likely that the demon probably killed them (hes got the claws, the strength, etc) but that seems so. obvious 

and like why specifically them. why specifically fran 

ah. yes, i see

i dunno what i think about this doctor, like. im havin a little trouble remembering what specifically he was responsible for doing to those kids and what could be explained as “he fucked up but he felt bound to responsibility/regulation/etc and isnt just a horrible person” and hes been through some shit too 

idk im just kinda goin with “i guess i kinda could use his help and he could use mine, maybe he meant well at some point in time” and not rly dwelling on it too much for right now 

OH

SHIT

THATS WHY THE WELL

and i got there by going through the door in the well too EVERYTHING MAKE SENSE

i lov fran

8)

cemetery 

this is so fucked “hey small child i know your parents were murdered before your eyes but wanna help me dig up their graves and check out their rotting, sliced up bodies” 

my daughter

oh

he’ll never suspect a thing 

oh dear 

:( 

oh

how come they’re not sliced up though???

are. we just gonna... leave this like that, then. i. okay

i m crying bc “EXCUSE ME, RUDE” was literally what i was gonna say n then fran

ooo

alright what the fuck is this 

my guess is its visions from the demon to confuse / disorient / upset fran and thats not really aunt grace 

either that or “the cat” has actually been the demon/been working with the demon all along or some shit but i dont know :’) aunt grace is acting blatantly not like herself according to fran/according to the vibes im getting so 

thanks aunt grace

[transssexualheart]

All

oh boy

1. namerain

2. age14

3. three fearsnever being loved back, hurting the people i care about, and the people i love secretly hating me

4. three things i lovepokemonnice weatherthe piano

5. 4 turn onsgetting hit by a car is apparently one of themi actually dont know honestly if i’m attracted to you, because i so rarely find people attractive, everything u do will Get Me Goin and that’s all i can think

6. 4 turn offsdamn bitch idk

7. my best friendyall know who i would choose if i had to choose one do i really gotta say it again

8. sexual orientationim pan, i also think i’m demisexual but god who knows

9. my best first datei don’t even know what qualified as a date bc ive only gone on dates with one person and i don’t know what we actually considered a date or just hangin out??

10. how tall am iuhhh i cant remember exactly i think i’m 5′5

11. what do i miss?honestly?? i kinda miss the way things used to be before i confessed to liking the person i currently like. i mean nothing has actually changed between us but i still feel bad about liking her and hate that i can’t comfort her without it seeming like “oh, you just think i’m great and talented because you have a crush on me” i feel like me comforting her ends up less sincere now and i hate that and it’s also,, like god i didn’t want to feel this way i really intended on taking a break from romance but my dumbass heart was like “no” and ughh fuck

12. what time was i bornidk

13. fav colorblue

14. do i have a crushfeel like i just made that pretty clear

15. fav quote “And you know it’s not good–that there is no good–that there’s absolutely nothing that can ever come of it.But you do it anyway. And then…Well. Then you burn.”(from Carry On by Rainbow Rowell)

16. fav placethis is gross but anywhere with her

17. fav foodidk

18. do i use sarcasmof course 

19. what am i listening to rni’m being Exposed,, i’m listening to sarah smiles by p!atd

20. first thing i notice in a new personusually their clothes, like the way they dress

21. shoe size8 and a half or 9 in womens

22. eye colorbrown

23. hair colordark brown

24. fav style of clothinguhh idk

25. ever done a prank call?no

27. meaning behind my urlit’s just a pokemon lol

28. fav moviewho knows

29. fav songi really like robbers by the 1975 and rn i’m obsessed with do i wanna know by arctic monkeys 

30. fav bandgosh idk

31. how i feel right nowgay

32. someone i loveall my friends!! all of u!!

33. my current relationship statussad

34. my relationship with my parents:/

35. fav holidayeither halloween or xmas

36. tattoos and piercings i haveone piercing in each ear lobe and one tat on my ankle

37. tattoos and piercings i wanti kinda want a lip piercing but idk and i wanna be like,, covered in tats 

38. the reason i joined tumblrmemes

39. do i and my last ex hate each other?no, i dont hate any of my exes

40. do i ever get good morning or good night texts?sometimes goodnight texts

41. have i ever kissed the last person you texted?god i wish,, no tho

42. when did i last hold hands?gosh it’s been so long i don’t remember

43. how long does it take me to get ready in the morning?like an hour maybe more

44. have you shaved your legs in the last three days?idk i forgot

45. where am i right now?my bedroom

47. do i like my music loud or at a reasonable level?loud

48. do i live with my mom and dad?ya

49. am i excited for anything?excited to die

50. do i have someone of the opposite sex i can tell everything to?nah

51. how often do i wear a fake smile?i usually don’t, i just let myself look sad and my friends usually don’t say anything or they’re making me laugh and i’m distracted

52. when was the last time i hugged someone?i huged @strawberrymilk-kid when getting off the bus today

53. what if the last person i kissed was kissing someone right in front of me?i’d be like “dude!! did you get a girlfriend holy shit i’m happy for u!!”

54. is there someone i trust even though i shouldn’t?nah

55. what is something i disliked about today?um all the parts where i started being a jealous bitch 

56. if i could meet anyone on this earth who would it be?dan avidan

57. what do i think about the most?wtf do you think bitch

58. what’s my strangest talent?haha talent whats that

59. do i have any strange phobias?no not really

60. do i prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it?depends

61. what was the last lie i told?this is emo but probably that i was alright hah

62. do i prefer talking on the phone or video chatting?gosh idk,, calling is less stressful bc i don’t have to worry about my disgusting face i guess

63. do i believe in ghosts? how about aliens?there are probably aliens, but idk about ghosts i mean like who knows

64. do i believe in magic?could be real, might not be, who knows

65. do i believe in luck?yeah i guess

66. what’s the weather like right now?it’s alright

67. what was the last book i read?hitchhikers guide to the galaxy

68. do i like the smell of gasoline?no

69. do i have any nicknames?my mom calls me rainbow but not really other than that but i love nicknames so someone call me by a nickname

70. what was the worse injury i’ve ever had?i sprained my arm once

71. do i spend money or save it?spend

72. can i touch my nose with my tongue?no

73. is there anything pink ten feet from me?im wearing pink so

74. fav animal?idk

75. what was i doing last night at 12am?sleeping after a long day of mental breakdown 

76. what do i think satan’s last name is?burke

77. what’s a song that always makes me happy when i hear it?uhh idk

78. how can you win my heart?be funny, love music (especially if you play it/can sing), and if you have curly hair or freckles i’m probably already in love with you so

79. what would i want written on my tombstone?“i’m gay”

80. what is my fav word?i have a few, my top three are “gentle”, “lover”, and “soft”

81. my top five blogs on tumblrman i dont know

82. if the whole world were listening to me right now, what would i say?that’s too much responsibility 

83. do i have any relatives in jail?my dad went to jail a few times, two of my uncles have been in there too, but none of them are still in there

85. what would be a question i’d be afraid to tell the truth on?i sat here trying to think of one for live five mins and i cant86. what is my current desktop pic?danny sexbang 

87. had sex?no

88. bought condoms?no

89. gotten pregnant?no

90. failed a class?not for a quarter grade or anything but there have been times where i was failing

91. kissed a boy?yeah i think so

92. kissed a girl?no sadly

93. have i ever kissed somebody in the rain?no

94. had a job?no

95. left the house without my wallet?probably

96. bullied someone on the internet?no

97. had sex in public?no

98. played on a sports team?i was on the soccer team in seventh grade

99. smoked weed?nah

100. did drugs?no

101. smoke cigarettes?no

102. drank alcohol?no 

103. am i a vegetarian/vegan?no

104. been overweight?nah

105. been underweight?idk

106. been to a wedding?ive been to two

107. been on the computer for 5 hours straight?probably

108. watched tv for five hours straight?probably

109. been outside my home country?no

110. gotten my heart broken?yep

111. been to a professional sports game?no

112. broken a bone?no

113. cut myself?no, but i’ve wanted to

114. been to prom?no

115. been in an airplane?yeah

116. fly by helicopter?no

117. what concerts have i been to?i went to one twenty one pilots concert that’s it

118. had a crush on someone of the same sex?oh yeah

119. learned another language?no

120. wore makeup?i wear it everyday

121. lost my virginity before i was 18?i’ve never had sex so no

122. had oral sex?no

123. dyed my hair?yeah

124. voted in a presidential election?nope

125. rode in an ambulance? no

126. had surgery?i had a tooth extracted but that’s it

127. met someone famous?no

128. stalked someone on a social media account?dude every time my friends are online i look through their whole blog just bc i like seein what my friends are rebloggin

 129. peed outside?a long time ago but yeah

130. been fishing?yeah

131. helped with charity?i don’t have money to donate to charities 

132. been rejected by a crush?hoooo boy i sure have been

133. broken a mirror?no 

134. what do i want for my birthday?a nude binder

thank u for asking!