#though id guess there have been others that idk/dont remember

[dryococelas01]

1. Yes

2. My mum. Look at answer 1

3. So many things. Mostly dumb and embarrassing stuff as a teen. Not starting transition years ago and not doing so now.

4. Incredibly

5. Single

6. I don't. But if I had to... in a way that I would be remembered.

7. Ketchup and hot perinaise in a wrap. I... will not explain why.

8. Not really. Used to swim a lot but can't for medical reasons

9. All the time.

10. So far back I can't remember

11. Romantically? No. Not right now.

12. Too many times. Twice in the last month.

13. Strongly dislike yes. Not yet hate

14. Family

15. Gecko, snake. Want some beetles maybe.

16. Tired and with a rough stomach.

17. No.

18. Not incredibly.

19. Yes. Transition. And maybe like... kill Hitler. Mostly transition.

20. Never have

21. Work. Been procrastinating last few days and headache and need to get it done.

22. No strong desire but not against. Depends what my partner wants. If I do though I'd prefer at 3 minimum, 4 maximum. A lot I know but it works well in my experience, sibling dynamics wise. Am a 4 child family myself, know 3 and 4 child ones, they all seem to function well compared to the ones I know with fewer or more.

23. No

24. Biology chemistry maths

25. Isn't this 14 again? Uh... I would like to meet my 'girlfriend' from when I was 14 again as I was kinda shit about the break up. Want to apologise.

26. Sleep. Pizza.

27. That girlfriend situation mentioned at 25.

28. No.

29. See 25 and 27. Though we had broken up at the time so idk if it counts.

30. Sleep and work issues. Mentally having trouble working.

31. I fucking hope so.

32. Green, one of the greens that's not quite turquoise but has a bit of blue in it.

33. Yes

34. Dont remember

35. Mum

36. Perhaps? Hard to say. Don't socialise enough for it to be relevant, to my dismay.

37. Forgive. It is hard to forget at times.

38. Fuck no

39. I'll get back to you when

40. No. What. No.

Missing 41 to 50 it seems? Or I can't see them. Anyway

51. Carrot cake.

52. Cause and effect yes. Spiritually? Idk

53. Wrote a few lines of a fic ill probably never publish.

54. If it is not an actual relationship in my opinion. I.e if a partner is abusive, is themself cheating etc. Or if its consensual cheating (like a cuckoldry kink thing), but that's a whole different can of worms and comes to the question of if that would count as cheating

55. I can be a bit sour. Idk if I'd call myself mean.

56. None

57. Yes.

58. Snow

59. See above.

60. Yes.

61. Never experienced it... potentially. Not my first choice of pet name but itd get me blushing.

62. Good company

63. Nah my names great.

64. Hard to kiss nothing mate. Unless you count non romantic kisses, gave my mum a kiss on the cheek recently. She's like a 5 hour drive away and I can't drive though.

65. My closest friend of the opposite sex is engaged. So if she approached me id probably tell her fiance whose another close friend. But if we are talking hypotheticals, like a fictional new closest friend (let's call them andy). I'll go along with it I guess! Clearly yet along with them.

66. Yes

67. My PhD supervisor

68. My best male friend.

69. Nah. Hogwash.

70. Family. Friends. David Attenborough (jk). If someone would die otherwise... I'd jump in I think. There'd be reticence but yeah. So that nebulous other person.

70 horrible questions ... Fuck it

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? 02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? 03: Do you regret anything? 04: Are you insecure? 05: What is your relationship status? 06: How do you want to die? 07: What did you last eat? 08: Played any sports? 09: Do you bite your nails? 10: When was your last physical fight? 11: Do you like someone? 12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? 13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? 14: Do you miss someone? 15: Have any pets? 16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? 17: Ever made out in the bathroom? 18: Are you scared of spiders? 19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? 20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? 21: What are your plans for this weekend? 22: Do you want to have kids? How many? 23: Do you have piercings? How many? 24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? 25: Do you miss anyone from your past? 26: What are you craving right now? 27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? 28: Have you ever been cheated on? 29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? 30: What’s irritating you right now? 31: Does somebody love you? 32: What is your favourite color? 33: Do you have trust issues? 34: Who/what was your last dream about? 35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? 36: Do you give out second chances too easily? 37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? 38: Is this year the best year of your life? 39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? 40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? 51: Favourite food? 52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? 53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? 54: Is cheating ever okay? 55: Are you mean? 56: How many people have you fist fought? 57: Do you believe in true love? 58: Favourite weather? 59: Do you like the snow? 60: Do you wanna get married? 61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? 62: What makes you happy? 63: Would you change your name? 64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? 65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? 66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? 67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? 68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? 69: Do you believe in soulmates? 70: Is there anyone you would die for?

[dandp]

Have we ever actually seen dnp on a ferris wheel? Do they even actually enjoy the experience of one?

[connormoving]

also i admire dws refusal ever to engage with language barriers

[itsmelloww]

bit unhinged over og MW games

Thought to post an update for my own sake on a post i made a while back where i was noting my thoughts on CoD , cause i came across it just now and it was fun seeing how i felt at that time

It's been some time now i've been in the fandom and honestly..... i've gone backwards. Literally. Yeah, MW was great --- Now, let's talk about the OG MW GAMES.

I can't even care about the reboots now, I am neck. deep. at this point into the original games its not even funny.

Ill just say this: the Girls love St Soap MacTavish.

💋THE WOMEN YEARN FOR CAPTAIN MACTAVISH.💋

YALL WOULDNT EVEN BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND THE CHOKEHOLD MR CAPTAIN SIR HAS HAD ON ME OVER THE PAST MONTH.

HOW IS HE SO BAD?!???? I m not even kidding id risk everything for this man. Deadass looked at my friend the other day and was like 'Scottish Accent is so hot' -- not an objective opinion; i have a MAN in mind when i say this.

Hes just... A MAN?. LIKE, A MAN. thats all ill say.

And then..... fuck me.

Makarov?

I remember first time i saw the OG i was like damn. (apathetic)

Terrible to admit it, but this man has such a fucking charm no wonder everyones been thirsting over the 'OG' makarov. I get yall. I understand!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ill make a sep post on him though cause genuinely his 'designs' go from feral to mr suave and i think its so fun. Theres 0 consistency and i live for it. one moments he's mr good looks, the next it's giving angry small dog.

I also found his voice lines and hes so UNHINGED in them. literally crushing out in your ear, i was so amused, i was doing skin care the other day listening to him go 'GO. GO. GO. GOOOOO' voice cracking and all and i was like yup, this is white noise 🤍

Then, Price. Now, i am a reboot Price enjoyer. Never going to change that. But OG Price... feels like such a ... beast?

He.... idk, he has this vibe to him. Idk if yall had these uncles growing up that were always a bit rusty and crusty and had a bit of a feral vibe to them, yet they were always fucking STRONG and COMPETENT out of nowhere? Like you knew that if uncle pulled up it was game over, hed walk everyone like a dog. thats the vibe OG Price gives to me. i know this descriptions sounds dumb, but just like those uncles, i fucking love Price. OG Price has grown on me soooo much, literally such a dad, and his relationship with Soap is just -- ackk 💔

I also need to say this for anyone who may read this who is an Reboot Soap fan but is into captain Soap as of late --- READ. THE JOURNAL. WITH CAPTAIN MACTAVISH IN YOUR HEAD. It just CLICKS so much more and makes the captain even more fascinating.

First time i read the journal i had reboot soap in my head and rereading it and connecting it to the captain's actual experience and thoughts is just chefs kiss. Sounds obvious, but have a feeling certain peeps may do the same thing as me.

In the journal you get so many insights of soaps care and devotion to Price and it just adds so much... depth. and its very endearing to read.

I love the reboot characters but the OGs are just so... endearing overall. they really stick to you. and personally theyve stuck to me way more than the reboot ones, even though i love the reboot, dont get me wrong.

Lastly -- Roach. This guy..... u just hear him grunt, and yet somehow still manages to get you. For me its also reading soaps journal, the way he refers to him, looks after him, describes his achievements and struggles, you see Roach fleshing out in that way too. And hes just interesting, and i think its so great they integrated this character alongside Price and Soap who youre already so familiar with and care for - cause when in turn THEY care for Roach, it makes Roach really stand out.

Guess i should say something about OG Ghost too -- dont got too much, but i thought i'd find him bland when compared to the reboot, but for what he is in the og games, i find him likeable. i like his voice and the personality that comes through them. because we know his past, but we also know the reboot ghost's personality, og ghost kinda stands in the middle and makes you wonder when you see this more / slightly more emotional side thats not as reserved and cold as reboot ghost. dont even know if im making sense, but bottom line is, i like og ghost as well.

anyways, i got lots to say. I really want to record more of my thoughts, in less of an unhinged way so might do that one day. i like looking back at these posts anyways. Cant evn begin to really dig deep into how exactly i feel about these characters, so itd be fun to attempt at some point.

Anyways, live laugh love Captain MacTavish. 🖤

[azurefaire]

> watches an entire video rant on how chibiverse is a online content farm created by disney (id say there is some good things or at least an attempt in those early parts and i do like the art style actually but yeah it is), and lowkey messes with your mind cause disney has screwed over many of the shows they featured and they have free range to use any characters they own without the involvement of others (hailey's, woy, toh etc)

> disney releases a new episode of said show that literally pays homage to older/forgotten shows picked from a bag and puts them underground in a cave

> finds clips on youtube

> pepper ann is there my baby!!! seemingly portrayed in the best light compared to bonkers, billy dilly, maggie etc

> they GOT pepper ann

> remembers the time i thought about a month ago "what if pepper ann nicky and milo were in this show, that would be impossible especially since the chibiverse thing is all a tiny land of modern series. they are probably in a distant land, or somewhere underground"

> reminds me of the time i had an idea of cartoons living a double life when they arent airing, within a multi channel cartoon crossover called "under the airwaves" sort of like wreck it ralph but cartoons from tv. literally would incorporate so manyy real shows into this idea, including this shit cause it has facinating implications and i remember a glitch when it first aired lol

> enough of my garbage au/crossover shit!! oh wow shes so cute though!! my baby!!!

> THEY GOT PEPPER ANN'S BABY CLONE IN A CAVE UNDERGROUND EATING DIRT WITH CLAMANTHA FROM FISH HOOKS??? IN THE UNDERVERSE??? SHE'S EATING DIRT??

> BUT FISH HOOKS HAS BEEN relevant out of all these shows especially on tiktok and specifically shellsea. so i guess clamantha. sure. certain comic relief characters people dont care about. has anyone truly cared for clamantha when jocktopus exists? really...

> penny and kim were very lucky to have continued relevance. they could be eating dirt! not all up in disney's weird ass fantasy living neighborhood gen z ifed

> now realizing this is when many characters havent spoken for literal years return... and how thats kind of cool in some aspects. but i think ppl wanted more animated version kim possible years ago...

> realizing if they didnt pick the funniest characters to do this, they could literally piss off so many fans of like motorcity or like randy cunningham maybe. i mean they probably did with penn zero for like two people.

> who picked them and why. also vince from recess took me a while to get why cause he didnt seem like the lead. but i'm assuming he's the most "underrated" or underutilzed one

> bonkers, spitting image of "obscure disney cartoon" - even watched a video on that... has a line where he says chibi. maggie the fly that everyone loves to hate has lines. i dont know why everyone hates her, she's self absorbed or something.

> i dont care about star vs but star is so cute in this and her dynamic with vasquez is funny...

> the primal desire for crossover content and the joy it brings is real. the uncontrolled desire to say "i didnt know i needed this" is real. i didnt need this! in some ways i hate this! in some ways i dont want this! but i like it anyway. and i cant stop it!

> chibi pepper ann also implies the existence of a chibi moose or a chibi cissy or trinket or gwen or alice kane or the teachers or trinket or lydia or steve the cat or mark hamill or alex trebek or effie shrug... chibi stewart waldinger....

> no cartoon is safe. chibi nightmare ned. chibi weekenders. chibi fillmore.

> watch them acknowledge house of mouse very soon in a very tongue in cheek way that will piss everyone off cause this show and that show are often mentioned together online. they probably look online to get script ideas idk maybe. something something ppl might say about tarnishing legacy of older cartoons cause every ip (😔) is at risk here. but they lay one finger on hom?? people are very protective of that show. carnage.

> hurt/comfort nickyann 500k fanfic in the underverse nicky going "i miss my family pepper ann. i miss them a lot."

> gonna watch the whole thing now.

[sapphicrot]

dyever f thing about stars and shut like not just big bright stars but also the dead ones what were they calldd proton stars no no thats young stars it was uhhhhhhhh idk star corpses you know what i mean white dwarfs neutron stars and black holes theyre all just really so cool like especially neutron stars hell id argue that in some scenadrios neutron stars can be more dangerous tan blaco holws and i mean if you compare it by mass than pwr capita neutron stars are way more dangerous than black holes and are kinda crazy too in subtler ways but honestly ieven eneutoron starz get their fair shair of love but not white dwarfs no white darfs dont get much love at all even though theyre arguably the best candidate for life to remain around once all stars dies i mean black holes have all that relativety time business and neutron stars are extremely horrifically anti life but white stars are both very stable and so so so so so so so very fuckin long lived i mean even when the last star dies the first white dwarf wont have died dont quote me on that but you get the idea like even when white dwarfs die they dont die die they just slowly run out of nergy via thermal radiation and over the course of what was it i think a quintillion or so years white dwarfs become black dwarfs although those arent exactly helpful for life and eventually they just turn into big iron balls but thats beside the point the point is if you really wanna live as long as possible you gotta create a superstructure around a black hole theyre marginally stable they make a lotta energy and they last a frankly unreasonable amount of time like you phsycially cannot conceptualize the amount of time they last no one can its impossible thats why if you could manage to build a habitat around one thatd be lifes best chance for living functionally forever but at that point is it really worth it i mean we dont really know what happens when black holes fizzle out we dont know whats at the end of a singularity we dont know what the universe will be like when even the last white dwaff turns to ash and iron who knows maybe after a billion billion billion billion billion billion billion billlion billion years a spark will reignite it all and we'll have big bang part two yknow its kinda similar to rain world do you really want to stick around for the end of the universe do you really want to prepare to live forever or would you rather enjoy it as it is yknow?

Anyway whats your favorite media besides Rain World, if that's it?

fun fact i took astronomy in college so theoretically i recognize those words but i just woke up with an insane migraine + on my period so i do not have the brain capacity to actually parse all that but i do remember that i had a massive existential crisis in class while we were talking about what could be beyond the edge of the known universe so im just gonna say agreed!

aside from rain world i love hollow knight, vocaloid, hannibal, inside job (fuck you netflix for cancelling it on a cliffhanger), gravity falls, invader zim, madoka magica, kill la kill, stardew valley, and some other shit i’m probably forgetting.

also media related i guess is that my new year’s resolution was to get into more all female metal/screamo bands and artists. i’ve been listening to a lot of poppy (current fav), kittie, deathbyromy, jazmin bean, zheani, and snowblood! so if anyone wants to recommend anything similar that’d be awesome!! i collect records too!!

this is the inside cover of zig it’s hanging up on my wall because it is simply that badass

other favs include my signed copy of negative spaces (i’d already listened to a couple poppy songs before she dropped this album but this one is what REALLY got me into her stuff. listen to it, it got me thru so much rough shit)(also she makes insanely good iteratorcore songs bro like WUHH), my 1/2500 og pressing of take this to your grave, and then my (approximate) rainbow of vinyls above my lesbian flag!! my brother got me am i a girl for christmas, the only album from poppy’s discography on vinyl i have left to snatch up is i disagree!! (…and poppy.computer but the amount that one sells for on discogs is fucking unreasonable).

other than that i thiiiink this is the rest of my collection? i have all of fall out boy’s discography and most of mother mother’s, i NEED a welcome to the black parade one but i dont like the cover of the one thats everywhere in stores :( others on my wantlist include a specific pressing of zaba by glass animals that goes for like 600 bucks on ebay which is fucking criminal, double dare by waterparks, OH AND THERES APPARENTLY A VINYL COPY OF VIOLENCE AGAINST NATURE?? WHICH I WANT SO BAD BUT GIRL ITS A *SINGLE SONG*…BUT ALSO…ITS SO GOOD…

anyways this is getting really long oops. actually this kinda helped cuz i rambled thru the time my medicine sorta started working so at least i was distracted during the worst of it. idk why i started rambling about my record collection but oh well!

[to-my-emil]

luca's 2024 letter

so i did a whole analysis/explanation/infodump about luca's newest letter on my discord server and. figured i may as well post it here! theres a lot of fun tasty things in here and some confirmation of things that have been implied in previous letters which is fun to look at. please keep in mind i dont have the entirety of every character and manor game's lore memorized so while i did double check some things i mightve missed some stuff. anyway its all below the cut since its Long have fun :)

(also feel free to chime in with any thoughts/feelings/opinions/ideas!)

so theres three sections to this letter! im gonna go section by section, but some parts of the last section are mentioned earlier so uh. sorry if you havent read it yet (id recommend u do read it first)

so part 1 is pretty fun. luca is confirmed to have survived game 10 (which also features tracy, charles, and bonbon though we dont currently know who the fourth survivor participant is) And its implied that hes the only survivor of the game (according to the "fleeting victory" thats the assumption at least). his traits w being able to connect the ciphers is also officially tied into the lore here; there are in fact wires running underneath each arena (or at the very least whichever arena lucas game was in which we dont know yet iirc) so its canon that he can do what he does in matches and its not something that the detective incorrectly deduced lorewise (idk if any of the survivor abilities are Actually incorrect deductions/not actually things that theyre doing (like for example priestess's portals, etc that seem more far-fetched) but since we know hes done other things incorrectly (like "prisoner" and "psychologist" titles being in quotes/technically wrong) i figure he mightve gotten some of those wrong too). luca is also Super Fucked Up w an unusuable left arm (and his previous injuries which we know includes at Least severe brain trauma but likely physical trauma too considering his time in prison + the leg braces) so uhhhhhhhhhhh. my money is NOT on him for the next game.

which is the fun next thing to talk about: baron deross is making him do another game!! this confirms whats implied in emmas 2022 letter (she writes "I've won the previous round, for now" which implies a second round if not more), and probably means that helena and galatea would also go through another round even though its not confirmed yet. so far we dont have a record of what happens in any second manor game for a player who has won (as far as i remember); usually what happens is entire groups are eliminated before the game and the only survivor goes on to the next round to try again by default rather than having won the game (like murro and luchino). so far luca's second game is the only one we have ANY info about for a survivor whos won their first game; we know that alva is in it and its heavily implied ann is in it (we'll get to this later) so we'll likely find out what happens once we get either of their experiment letters. its also interesting that the baron seems to reveal more information about the experiments to luca after luca won his game, but its hard to know whether thats because luca is also a scientist or if he reveals that to everyone who wins. my guess is maybe the former bc u Know luca would have questions and theres also no mention of baron deross saying anything like that in emmas, galateas, or helenas letters.

on to section 2!!! (there was a slur against disabled people in the last line of this section so. thats whats blocked out)

OKAY SO. definitely confirmed that hes in a second manor game, its not even subtext its just right there. assuming the "mechanisms" refer to the same mechanisms that are running under the arena and connecting the cipher machines my guess is that this is what he used to shock other participants?? rather than just being to conduct electricity through himself like he does in the game?? idk thats just spaghetti at the wall its not clear here how he actually got shocked and why. it Is clear that he passed the fuck out at some point or another/his memory issues have gotten worse and the wiki points to that guy in his dream being hermann, so that's. interesting. theres an implication here that luca and hermann used to be closer, but once luca started w physics hermann went mmmm time to stop being a father. which. checks out knowing hermann. whats even more interesting is that luca calls hermanns ideas "ludicrous fantasies" that are neither idealistic nor realistic, because like luca you went and did THE EXACT SAME THING. BRO HE WORKED ON PERPETUAL MOTION. YOURE WORKING ON PERPETUAL MOTION. IM SORRY YOU CANT CLOWN ON UR DAD FOR RUINING HIS LIFE OVER PERPETUAL MOTION WHEN U DID LITERALLY THE EXACT SAME THING

anyway.

i do wonder if this is meant to imply that hermann was in fact actually working on a More ridiculous version of perpetual motion or if luca is just biased as hell against hermann. im banking on the latter there is no way in hell that luca is a reliable narrator considering all his memory issues + his general tendency to outright grab people hes mad at by the throat (<- fun fact we see this at least twice once in alvas backstory video and again in gattos backstory video. luca is the same across all timelines). also implications that hermann became an alcoholic. im guessing as a kid luca was told it was medicine and he hasnt put the pieces together?? or its ironic. idk could be either with him. i highly doubt its actually medicine. ALTHOUGH. theres an alternate explanation here; when luca says "swallow them down" i initially thought he was referring to hiding his "final feelings", since sometimes swallowing down feelings is a phrase used for that kind of thing. but potentially this could be implying that hermann had luca take some kind of medicine potentially to get rid of those feelings in some way?? personally i think its the former because we already know hermann was wasting his life and money so becoming an alcoholic would be an easy answer, but this is probably just because i dont have any answers if it were the latter. something to think about

now the third part, which gives us info about the next manor game!

so first the "gaunt old man" is (according to the wiki which i agree with in this case) mad eyes, which makes sense because mad eyes was involved in game 8/9 right before this and game 10 was filled with inventors + bonbon so it only makes sense he was there. no idea where he went though. whats more fun is that luca is now In The Fucking basement Walls where mad eyes used to be bc luca doesnt trust the rest of the participants. considering the "abnormal eyes" and that alva is here we know for sure that this is those related to the eye of darkness cult, which means ann is also definitely there. whats even more interesting is that this implies the existence of at least one more member of the eye of darkness cult whos going to be in this game; luca says "new participants" and "these people", and considering how specific the letters usually are with other things i would guess hed say "those two" if it were only ann and alva (of course its possible that theyre the only two have arrived at the writing of this journal, but considering he refers to a ritual coming up soon my money is on all the participants being of the cat cult except luca). luca makes a good note that this new game is likely the opposite of the previous and more focused on religion/spirituality which checks out w the participants, but DAMN hes an asshole about their writing style LMAO. sorry luca not everyone can have the same notes u do

the "brother in faith" guy here is alva, and i personally believe that he can in fact believe see through walls just bc thats funny as hell. just kidding its likely because luca is not as subtle he thinks he is because alva Literally Knows Him. other people might not be able to know hes there but like. that guys also a scientist. hed be able to figure out that theres someone in the walls AND he does in fact know luca. its difficult to tell bc of lucas memory issues but this probably also implies that alva looks very different from how he did in life (i doubt its as tall/etc as in his hunter form since thats what they all see when drugged not what he Actually looks like but im sure theres some stuff like his shorter hair/grayish skin/etc that carries across). i for one am fucking thrilled that theyre in a game together bc oh my god this is a time bomb and im just waiting to watch it explode (again).

as for the last line about a ritual... teehee. im very excited for whatever this is going to be and its killing me that this is the Only Information we have on it so far. likely we're going to have to wait for more alva and ann letters on this one, as well as whoever the third eye of darkness cult member is going to be, but i have no doubt that we'll have some more info eventually. if i had to take a guess its going to heavily affect how game 10-2/11 turns out; i highly doubt any ritual goes on without a sacrifice, and, well... theres only one guy here whos not already part of the cult. things are not looking great for lucas future.

[givemedamage]

i dont really ramble slash just post my thoughts that much anymore bc im like an on edge bitch plus ive gotten ten times more incoherent off my meds and i dont wanna subject anyone to that except for in tags on art posting maybe sometimes ill be like BARRRRFFF WORDS but i wanna do it now bc. i just want to On that note like i definitely have posted dipshit dumbass stuff like oversharing stuff or stuff i no longer agree with or wish i worded better or didnt speak so soon on like i have a journal if i really need to tell the universe i just took a shit but ANYWAYTHATS NOT EVEN THE POINT OF THIS RAMBLE WAIT THIS WAS ART RELATED RAMBLING ok so like i've been trying to quote unquote relearn art for a hot minute cold second now and sometimes, ill think of that one ask i got that was like 'how do you draw furries' or How do you draw anthros or IT WAS SOMETHING LIKE THAT and i cant remember what exactly i replied ,GIVEN THAT IS A VERY VAGUE QUESTION BUT LIKE i definitely replied something strange and unhelpful like 'ufhhh just practice :D !!!!! find fun ways to furrify the furry idk' AND LIKE IF THAT WAS YOU IM SO SORRY i feel like there's so much stuff i didn't AND STILL DON'T OBVIOUSLY know even though ive been doing furry art since babyhood like how important fundamental whatever is WHICH I KNOW SOUNDS DUMB LIKE OBVIOUSLY FUNDAMENTALS ARE IMPORTANT but like. learning perspective and actual shading not just guessing and using people pose and animals pose references and doing figure studies and outside places studies has HELPED ME SO MUCH LIKE WOW WHAT THE FUCK there's just little things i never learned in art class. little things i'll notice like 'huh foot (paw?) placement is actually rlly awesome and also important drawing a character standing' or like 'so that's what a trapezius is' or like 'ohhh i get it now, things are scaled bigger when they're closer and i should be thinking about the pov also' which like the last time i was in an art class i was literally a FRESHMAN IN HS so like. like yeah But how to draw furries individual , i apologize but if i was asked that again id probably be like ''References and youtube tutorial and especially that animal skull github angle reference website saved my hide'' WHICH ISNT REALLY THAT BETTER OF A RESPONSE NOW THAT IM LOOKING AT IT BUT LIKE I COULDVE more concisely said (ironic sonsidering how fucking long this spiel is becoming)that i don't know what the fuck im doing but i love resources and i love pencils and skecthing and i love wawa color and painting and digitaling arting and i love my fake world and artists i love you and artists who struggle making art they want i love you and artists who want to do art but are nervous to start or are preoccupied with other shit i love you . i know stuffs really hard out here for everyone and excuse me for being so unspecific about it but it seems like everyday it's just another thing it's honestly getting hard to keep up with much less sum up my frustrations towards in a single already tragically rambly post and i hate it so much and stay safe and i'm sorry do not die quietly plus never kill yourself. Tl,dr; i run on sentence about how art is good and fun, (somewhat gushily and long windedly )

[kibblemaniac]

april thoughts

just a general "how ive been doing" mostly with my art sense my art is my life

.. i say art is my life, but i havent drawn at all in the past few days lolol. i havent been doing too great this year.

well, im a bit unhappy with the lack of responses the follower survey got, but i guess it makes sense. i promised it would be out in december and i didnt finish it until this month. people probably forgot about it like i did. idk how to lock the survey so if you read this and go look for the link you can still do it, but i probably wont be checking it often. i did get some good info like where most of my followers come from, how i should price my comms, etc etc. if i remember to ill make another one next year with more questions. a lot of people who took the survey said they wanted a discord server. id like to connect with you all but to be honest im a bit hesitant to make something like that because im not very active on discord and am very lazy.

i guess the reason why i havent drawn a lot this year, specifically illustrations, is cuz im lacking a lot of inspo. i just havent been too happy with my art and not really sure why. i figured if i had more inspo id be drawing more, but ive always had trouble paying attention to stuff like movies or shows or stuff like that. and i specify taking inspo from media like that bc i dont want to take too much inspo from other online artists. i think if you take too much inspo from your peers you end up just creating the same stuff over n over, you need a wide range of inspo to create something new. though, that lack of inspiration definitely isnt helped by my pinterest account getting deactivated for no reason! social media addiction is real, ive been having serious pinterest withdrawals lolol. but yeah i have a long list of things i want to read and stuff i want to watch that i havent even scrapped the surface of. will be a long long time b4 i finish that list, and by the time im done ill probably have another list of stuff ready to go.

on the topic of media, the last films i watched were colin armistead's "angelic kitty miracle-chan" and "enternet". armistead's filmwork reminds me of the phrase "art disturbs the comforted and comforts the disturbed". ive seen a lot of backlash for both his kitty film, as well as his previous film "bonehead". i do not agree with people who think mircale-chan is supposed to be "transphobic" or "mean spirited". i found myself in the main character of alex, as someone who enjoys anime and self isolates and is trans, and by the comments on the youtube upload a lot of other people did too. my only critique is that it just didnt live up to my expectations, that just not a lot happened in it. but its a 7 minute student film, so its a bit limited in what it can do anyways. i think if it had a longer run time and went more into depth about alex's life, it would have been much more compelling.

back to art, ive been thinking about it and i think i know why i wasnt able to finish raw!fruit or butterfly in flower garden. i have this tendency to overestimate what i can do, come up with a lot of cool ideas, but am not really great at executing those ideas. i take a while to draw, even doodles can take me like, at least a day or two, so when it comes to larger projects a lot of the time it takes so long i end up noticing flaws in my own work and those flaws make me feel too depressed to finish the damn thing. i think for my first venture into comic work, i should downsize into a oneshot. maybe even practice drawing single page comics before i work on something that requires multiple pages. and it should also be something pretty simple in concept. bifg was supposed to be simple, but i kept thinking of ideas and writing and stuff like that, that it became its own beast. hopefully one day.

on a more personal note, im a bit worried about my future. i made it a new years resolution to get a job this year, and i still havent gotten one 4 months in. i sorta lost interest.. ill try to get one for the summer cuz thats coming up soon, though to be honest idk if ill be able to survive it. i struggle a lot with loud/painful noises, bright lights, social interaction, etc etc... but ill try my best. i might try to do comms if i just cant do it. im graduating high school and turning 18 this year, 2 events im not really looking forward to. part of my brain stills think im a middle schooler, so being reminded that im not is like, idk shocking??? just dont really have much of a plan, not much hope, but ill live anyways.

uhh other stuff thats too small to have their own paragraphs uhhh. i started a new flightrising account, its toasterhair if you want to send a friend request. uhh ive been trying to exercise more, nothing too big just a little bit of cardio to keep my heart beating. i was somewhat more sociable at my last cooking class than i usually am, so yay me thats one of my goals to be more social. and uhh my grandma is gonna teach me how to sew soon hopefully and were gonna fix up this one sweater of mine that has a bunch of holes. thats really all i can think of, hope youre all doing well !

[ashestxr]

Get to know your mutuals: tag game

AAAAA thank you @wishchip106 for tagging me :]]

ive never done something like this so this was super fun hehehe

What's the origin of your blog title?

my name is ashe and i wanted a reason to sign my name with a star as the "a" 😀 but then i thought "ashestar" looked stupid so i added an x LMAO (and then only AFTER all that did i name my fursona star 😔)

OTP(s) + Shipname:

riddlebird/nygmobblepot has been my special interest for almost 3 years !! :]

but of course cherik has been very quickly been making its way up to being as special for me

Favourite colour:

green and purple !! (hmm i wonder why... 🤔) and is it too cheesy to say ive grown fond of orange now?? 😭

Favourite game:

i have a lot !! i mostly like story games so they can be difficult to play over and over but heres a few of them: a hat in time, the stanley parable, the portal games, any lego games, undertale and deltarune, and oneshot !!

and then of course theres also minecraft, the sims, and stardew valley that have easier replay value :]]

Song stuck in your head:

shes my collar by gorillaz !! (thank you lev for making me remember how much i love this song LMAO)

Weirdest habit/trait?

i pace all the time. anytime i have something i need to think about i will start pacing to get my thoughts going 😭 i can literally pace for hours at a time doing nothing else. its a huge time waster 😭😭

Hobbies:

reading, playing video games, dnd, uhhhh i mean i guess drawing and writing? oh and renpy as well even if i barely understand it

If you work, what's your profession?

im currently an assistant at a sewing shop !!

If you could have any job you wish, what would it be? Realistically?

god, is youtuber an option? its been something ive fantasized about since i was a kid but i dont have the self drive or passion to be able to do it tbh 😭 honestly, my dream job is something that pays well and doesnt involve talking to people often

Something you're good at:

id like to say writing !! even though i dont do it often ive always felt like it comes naturally to me (apart from being really slow at it) and ive had other people tell me the same. but apparently im really good at walking quietly as well !! im constantly scaring people cause they dont realize im in the same room 😭

Something you're bad at:

talking to people 😀 im getting better at doing it online, but irl? i will literally freeze up and stare at you if i dont know what to say 😭

Something you love:

lev, my wonderful platonic boyfriend 💚🧡 hehehe :]]

but also my cat, my dnd party, all of the fandoms ive been in (and the people ive met through them), uhhh idk theres lots of other things but i kinda just turned this into a people oriented answer LMAO

Something you could talk about for hours off the cuff:

literally anything ive ever been passionate about. ever. bring up an old special interest from my childhood? prepare for me to remember things in real time while im telling you about it. ask me about a story i came up with? i will yap your ear off for hours, and then some after that. i have way too many words for someone who has barely any friends LMAO

Something you hate:

blueberries 😠 (but more seriously, people who are rude for no reason or arent understanding of the more disabling aspects of my autism 😭im trying my hardest, okay??)

Something you collect:

jigsaw puzzles !! i have over a hundred :]

also random things relating to my special interests and hyperfixations but those arent as impressive

Something you forget:

everything 😀 i have adhd so my object permanence is GOD AWFUL and i barely remember my childhood 😭

What's your love language?

quality time !!!

Favourite movie/show:

oh boy... theres so many but starting with tv shows:

gotham, doctor who/torchwood, good omens, gravity falls, bojack horseman, and community !! (and probably a few others im forgetting...)

and then im actually not a huge fan of movies so the only ones i can think of off the top of my head are xmen first class/days of future past and scott pilgrim 😭

but since theres no section for more internet based stuff im also a huge fan of hermitcraft/life series, starkid musicals, the magnus archives, and generation loss :]]]

Favourite food:

shrimp !! but a big comfort food of mine is chicken and rice with sweet chili sauce

Favourite animal:

foxes, snakes, penguins, and cats !!!

What were you like as a child?

simultaneously very obnoxious and extremely shy (so basically the most typical undiagnosed autistic childhood ever LMAO)

Favourite subject at school?

english (big surprise there) but math was always super fun for me when i actually understood what was happening LMAO

Least favourite subject:

hmm.... history? but that might have to do with the fact that i was homeschooled so it was a super christianized version of it ://

What's your best character trait?

idk id like to say im pretty laid back. like if someone needs something from me ill go help or if someone im hanging out with wants to do something different i wont complain !! i just like being with the people i love :]

What's your worst character trait?

mmm everything i want to say are things that are caused by my audhd and it feels weird to say that for this question.. :// honestly, it might be a case of my best character trait also being my worst cause i have a hard time letting people know when im not alright with something because im a people pleaser

If you could change any detail of your life right now, what would it be?

i have been wanting to get my drivers license for over 2 years now and have made no progress 😀 honestly its one of the only things keeping me living with my parents but i still cant find the motivation to work seriously towards it

that and the fact that im so far apart from the love of my life :[[ but theres not much that can be done about that right now im afraid

If you could travel in time, who would you like to meet?

would it be dumb to say my younger self? cause i think it would be super healing for me if i was able to tell him that things get better :[

i dont have very many mutuals and i also dont know whos done this already so im just gonna tag these people and hope that its okay 😭 @monaetheworldsdestroyer @eriknocherikyes @osi-inn @ghostboy512 @alien--cookie @nyang-cheng @disasterhals

@autistic-billcipher (i know you were tagged in the post i was tagged in i just thought you would want to see this hehehe)

[elkkiel]

“shy” anon,

im gonna play a little bit of catch up here, cause theres some things i missed in previous messages. either the tags or in the replies under them lol

i would love if you drew something for me *flustered noises* your kitty art is my favourite. if youre curious or if it will help, iv is so heart eyes.

ill have to take the time to write out the blondie recipe for you, and ill get back to you with it. ill make sure to include some secrets and tricks in it ;)

as for my project, it is an original work. i cant give you any details about plot. but its a part of a very large series that im working on, like 12 part series (<- that is something i havent told anyone on here, so youre special for getting to hear about it).

weve interacted…id say a semi-decent amount, but id say we’re only acquaintances at most. you definitely know who i am though lol. its fine that you dont want to figure it out, makes it more fun >:)

FINALLY

KITTY. CUTE KITTY. HELLO BEANS *frantically waves* YOURE PRECIOUS. I MUST BOOP. she has such a :3 face. i want to squish her so bad. *cute agression noises*

the weather here has been…idk, alright i guess. we only have a few inches of snow here, but the temps are supposed to drop like -20 something in the next couple days and im NOT looking forward to it. i am so not a cold weather person.

eeooguh texture…its the thing that can ruin super tasty food so quickly.

i dont have any pets at the moment, but ive had lots growing up. dogs, cats, horses, even chickens at one point when i was really young. a pet that i want to get is a Maine Coon.

aside from sleep token, what kind of other music do you listen to? i dont remember seeing you talk about other bands/musicians on here before. second question, if youve gone to any, what was your favourite concert youve been to?

oh goodness, we've got quite the conversation going now, huh? definitely not complaining, though :3

I certainly do feel special getting those ✨exclusive details✨ hehe ^//w//^ that's such a big project wow!!!! have you made any headway on writing it yet, or are you still in the planning phase? how long do you think the finished series is gonna be, like are they short stories or multichapter stories? good on you for committing to something that big lol, I'm a little intimidated just thinking about it

oh, so we ARE a bit more familiar with each other then... well isn't that fun for you? since we've interacted before, and will almost definitely interact (off anon) again. I'll admit that I love me a little game of cat and mouse, especially when only one of us knows who we're playing with *//w//*

chickens!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! there's a backyard hens program in my city and that seems like so much fun!!!!!!!! and a Maine coon would be so so nice 🩷🩷🩷 a big fluffy friend 🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

okay!! q&a time!!

I listen to a bit of everything, but I definitely hit metalcore/djent the hardest—it scratches my brain really nicely lol. For the same reason, I like a lot of electronic music too (I'm in a weird, on-and-off drum and bass phase right now) and more experimental alt pop.

bands/artists I like: thrice (beggars album and earlier), spiritbox, jinjer, alpha wolf, thrown, electric callboy, vukovi, ice nine kills, poppy (her heavier stuff), polyphia, mothica, nothing but thieves, etc etc lol. Sorry for the grocery list of names :P

and I've never actually been to a concert before! I'm seeing killswitch engage in Calgary next year, so that'll be my first one!

again, I'll hit you with an uno reverse and pass the question back to you :3 what's your taste in music look like? you're already into sleep token, so I'm sure it's *chef kiss* lol

[doegirldaydreamerarchived]

Diary entry #3 - 22/01/25

Soo.. yk how i said i was gonna take a little break so i didnt burn myself out?? Yeah.. no (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶) but forreals tho today was actually really nice and like.. i barely even needed to romanticise it so obvi im posting about it bc i cant shut up!! Also i didnt actually take notes today so im going off memory so this is probably shorter.. also i might stop w notes bc i feel like i get nervous that ill forget sumet soo.. testing my memory idk!!

Anyways! Abt today! It actually didnt start really well bc firstly its my mums bday and i literally told myself the second id wake up id tell her happy bday and i completely forgot and i feel so bad she deserves the world honestly. Promising myself to spoil her next bday when i have a job bc.. maybe i like spending money a little shhh.. Anyways i also forgot to study for my exam in the morning and even left my notes sheet at home. Not that it rlly mattered bc i had the exam first period and didnt have time to look anyways. But still jdjdjdjd.

Also i was in a rlly nasty mood today for some reason </3 Like i was super pissy and snappy and idek why. Like im not near my period or anything.. maybe bc i didnt sleep as much as i probably shouldve.

Okay anyways period one!! Which was the exam.. but actually it wasnt that bad bc R my pookie was in and shes doing it w us. My other friend forgot his earphones tho.. which tbf was probably for the better bc i literally have like a 10 second attention span. But i actually think the revising worked bc i got a lot down and i actually remembered some stuff!! I would revise it more but also ive sorta moved on from the bit i can revise for and onto the like.. critical thinking stuff kinda. Anyways I helped out R with hers a little which like.. i dont think is allowed but also were both clueless so i prolly wasnt much help anyways..

Okok then period two englishh!! My teachers daughter had an assembly at school that she performed in and miss told us abt it and it was sosoosos funny 😭😭 Firstly they sung the london bridge song like 5 times so its like.. lets calm down a little. Giggle fr though basically they were talking abt firemen using hoses using erm.. a.. peculiar action!! Possibly may have involved swinging ones arms infront of yourself… and she was telling us abt how her husband was trying really hard not to laugh and bc she had her school high vis on she had to like tell him off gigglibggg!!

Otherwise it was pretty chill honestly. Like i didnt even realise the girl i used to be scared of wasnt here until miss did the register and its like.. is this recovering?? We were also just doinf like an article thingy which wasnt great but also totally couldve been worse. We were either meant to go with like funny or serious and i just kinda went serious bc like.. idk im not putting effort into being funny let me live </3 giggke fr though its like hard to be funny when asked i think? Not sure. I did call dogs pudgy pooches tho which is a win to me.

Noooow break! Tbh it usually kinda like blends together for me bc its always just me and my friends yapping lol. One of us did get a waffle tho and he shared it w me and i kinda dreaded it for a sec. I still ate it tho which is something i guess? I just feel bad bc like its his food. But also i dont wanna refuse bc ik its sorta sending me back down that hole and uthhggh. Its just hard sometimes. Itll get better eventually.

Anyways, on a better note!! Period three which was biology! I was kinda spaced for a lot of this giggles. It was nice tho i chilled out and sorta talked w the girl next to me?? And I accidentally told her a wrong answer but she wasnt like horrible about it. So maybe ill live giggle. Also the girl i thought they might have beef w kinda seemed like.. less put together? And idk it made me feel a little bad. Like she was bad to me but also it’s probably hard for her idk.

Then period 4, which was maths as usual. Miss wasnt in AGAIN which like.. i feel abandoned </3 but forreal not much happened again. I got through like all of the sheet we were doing which i was acc a little proud of honestly. Also omg i need to say something that i feel kinda bad abt bc im scared of like spreading rumours but apparently a kid one seat over from me has nits?? Like ppl have seen them and everything. And im so fucking scared of getting them theyre actually ny worst nightmare ever they freak me out so bad. And like.. if u cant get rid of them bc ur situation or something thats one thing but like!! Please dont come into school w them?!!? Or anything infectious at that?? Pls!!

Hhhhn okok anyways. Lunch! They were doing like lower school cakes (w the like white frosting ykwim?) and mt friend gave me some and it was like really good. Also my old maths teacher is gonna help us by giving us some papers and textbooks to practice w which honestlt i need rn. Also we were joking about my friends sneaking out and helping me cheat an exam by like sending light codes giggle i love them. Also omg those annoying kids came up again and its like.. leave us alonnneee omg do u actually have no other friends to bother?? Does ur year hate u that much??? Sighh anyways yeah. Omg and when we were talking another kid (our year) whos apparently like really creepy and harrassy came over and my friend got nervous.. like i thought he was just annoying not like.. a predator 😭

But anyways. Now period five which was chemistry. Honestly it was pretty easy bc were mostly revising so i could chill for a little. The mz kid did get like sorta told off tho bc he was being insistant about calculators or something which was like.. omg ty for saying somehtingndjdjjfn. Alsosooso a girl in the class who i thought was popular but like.. i think people really dont like got caught on her phone and got a dt for it and she was like really nasty abt it to the teacher and i feel bad.. like i thought she was nice but damn girlie u dont need to be on ur phone 24/7 even im not! Idk i cant really say much i just used to get embarrassed when i got caught so.. i dunno!

Buuttt something new today! I went to this like afterschool english help thingy for poetry bc my friends go! I was gonna go last week but i couldnt get permission. I got to go today thoo! It was actually rwally chill and i sat next to one of my sorta friends i dont get to talk to much which was nice! And theres a lot of like loud kids there but theure surprisingly like. Listening?? Idk it was nice to see they actually kinda care and theyre not just loud and mean. Also we were talking abt this at break but one of them is actually really smart and i did NOT expect it bc he always used to fuck around in lessons and its like!! Respectt omg. Also hes really religious (muslim) so its like he actually seems like a really nice person. Which was a nice change!

Aaanndd now afterschool! Ive literallt just been hanging out and girlblogging and reading fics giggle. I do kinda have maths hw to do thought which is just tijtjgjjg. I dont have to do it today technically but also i probably wont wanna tomorrow so.. productiviy idk. Anyways im eating a pizza rn which is amazing and im like pure hanging out. Also i wanna like expand my wardrobe for like punk rock gf vibes tbh because im feeling that vibe so hatr rnrnrnn!! Ong also lastly my package still isnt hereee crying.. its like two days late now. Litro brokenhearted.

Okayaya forreals giggle thats it for today!! Im gonna forreal try not to write another entry tmr honestlt bc i really need to not burn mtself out today was just funn!! If u made it here, ty for reading gorgeous!!

Rue, signing out 𓂃۶ৎ

[my-castles-crumbling]

hiya cas! i hope youre well 😊

so, i have some medical issues (nothing serious!! probably - im still waiting for a proper diagnosis but ive had a few appointments and tests etc and have been assured its nothing to be concerned about) and so i obviously have to go to hospital appointments sometimes for the aforementioned tests and discussions. it was scary at first (i hadnt been in a hospital since the day i was born up until this point, and i was 18 when i had my first of these appointments) but its easier now, but im still a little stressed

im not technically estranged from my family - i still live at home with both parents, and we're on decent enough terms - but we dont really have any sort of important conversations. or any personal conversations either. so i guess we're just not really close? idk. anyway, this has meant i have absolutely no idea what any of my family medical history is. i had to find out through my older sister that my father was diagnosed with diabetes four years ago (and she only found out because she worked at the pharmacy where he got his stuff from), and my eldest brother was the one who told me my grandparents' causes of death (they died before my birth and my parents never mention them), but they dont know any more than that either

this hasnt been an issue for me before, because obviously ive never needed to know. ive never been asked about it, but now that my own health isnt right, i kinda need to know. in my first appointment i got asked about it, but i told the doctor i didnt know and would ask at home

i did ask, to be fair. i spoke to my mother and explained why i needed to know but she just kind of... brushed it off? idk if thats the right way to phrase it. she said there was some vague thing about heart issues but she didnt say anything specifically, or which side of the family it came from, or anything all thay helpful at all

its so frustrating because im not the first of their kids to need this information. my sister has medical problems too (different issues than mine though) and our parents were no help with her either

i spoke to a friend about it last autumn when i first went to hospital and he looked at me so oddly, it made me feel so broken, i guess. apparently discussing medical history isnt a taboo subject in most households, because he knew all of his and he's never been to hospital for anything. but the way he looked at me like i was weird or something for not knowing was awful. again, it made me feel genuinely broken and damaged. it was kind of one of those moments where you realise 'oh, my family isnt normal' and it sucked, because i thought id had that realisation years ago

its happened with some other stuff too (i.e. telling parents about a relationship, friends, interests, spending time with family etc) and it just... it really sucks. i dont know what else there is to say than that ig lol

i was going somewhere with this ask, but ive kinda gotten off track and now i cant remember, soooo.... have a good day! thanks for reading my ramble 🥰

Hi hon!

I’m so sorry, whose moments of realization suck, truly. Please know that you did nothing wrong <3 

Because this is a health thing, I do have some advice for you (ignore me if you want!) There are forms on the internet that have questions about family history. Print one out and just give it to your mom and dad. Don’t give them room to question it. Say your doctor needs it, and you need them to fill it out.

I wonder, though, if your parents don’t share their history with you, they might not know their parents history. A lot of times, these kinds of things that happen in families are passed down. 

But yeah. Just give them a form and make it a health thing. You deserve that info. 

Again, please know that you are NOT broken, and it has nothing to do with you <3

(naming you medical anon)

[kleinstar]

🐣 🪪❤️ 💌💡

Mun Communication Preferences based meme (ACCEPTING)

Is there anything you're new at, just now learning, or practicing when it comes to RP?

writing!!! human communication!!! existing!!! it never ends!!! im also forever balancing character traits.

What's consistent between RP life and not? Anything about you bleed into your writing?

??? weather conditions maybe?? I don't know lmao??

How does the love in your heart affect how you RP? Any other notable emotions?

i should have read these questions but i dont know what this means!!!! at least i dont think so?? idk lmao

Have you ever hit it off with a mun right away? What were they like? How fast do you think it takes to warm up to new people?

on lethennie bb... id say you but i dont remember when we first talked.... its always been a blast interacting with you ooc and ic though, idk who wouldnt get along with you just in general lmao - but yeah for sure some other people too! i think i take forever at warming to ppl, idk trust issues, lowkey paranoia teehee.

scoops you up thoughhhh !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do you get ideas from reading meta/headcanons/bios, or do those only pop up as you write?

ideas sometimes rarely just pop up then sometimes i just have to take straight up week to think up anything??? meta can randomly come to me i guess... but i do character apps for ideas but in the end i dont always get ideas from them except maybe for starters locations!

[evildoombringer]

hi nakamura (i'm. not entirely sure which name you prefer to go by,,)

i. don't really know, personally, the depths of hurt that came from min leaving can't claim either. to understand what your going through right now

you both seem really close. it was always funny, to  read ur asks that you'd send i remember reading the "happy morning" one you sent and it had like this image of a smiling kid for some reason, for like a solid 5 months i just thought "oh cool, so that's what they look like:0" before i looked back and thought, "huh wait. they always added (very funny,  mind you) meme/pics to their asks. was that pic a meme too-?" and only then did i realize lmao

looking back on his responses, i can almost hear the amused tone or, however min would react. lol it was nice to see him talking to people who cared about him

im. not really sure what to say, without coming off as like.. pretentious.? but. if i can just assume for one second, from the asks they'd answer of yours, to everything i hear about min from all the people who know him, i. i. assume he really cared for you, and. i assume you cared for him as much.,

i dont. know your situation, at all. min had. already made up his mind when i even found his blog. so, just. i hope you'll be able to make a decision, you'll be. happy with

the future could get better. it could get worse i can't really see which one it'll be. i don't understand how close you and min were, at all but know. you arent alone im not sure, if you need to. understand or know someone to be there for them,but from the looks of it, min was. never really alone if he had you. so,i hope you also know your not alone there'are people here for you

im sorry. this is probably, meaningless to you in hindsight i just. yeah. in the end, whatever you choose is your decision but. your not alone im sorry if this comes off as assuming.  please. feel free to ignore this ask, if it oversteps in anyway or is just uncomfortable. i know sometimes one might just want- to vent and let it all out and the to have that acknowledged or responsded to might be. uncomfortable i. hope i didnt come off that way

but .yeah,

nice to. meet you by thw way. O(∩w∩)O (im sorry the kaomoji is so out of place jhsjsh i just remembered that one ask u sent hh)

hi custard

it hurts that he's gone, obviously, and i just haven't been on Tumblr for a minute, so seeing everything again is having a terrible effect on my psyche (ill live though haha). im just super weird about him and i realize that uhh nobody really knows that. but I'm super . . weird about him and uhhh yeah and um i regret everything lol

im surprised you thought i was a young chinese boy :sob: but. i understand how you could make that.... mistake.....

did you know the :smile: :sob: thing is a discord reference? :sob: is 😭 and :grimace: is 😬. if you're on a phone and u type the emoji out it should probably pop up, and the same thing happened on discord so he. um would do that when posting on Tumblr too out of habit, and i guess it eventually became a Min-Pal staple haha

and yeah he definitely cares about me, and im mad at him because he cares about me and left me his emails and shit to take care of and he did that because he knew im. weird and needed more than old messages and tumblr posts and i . m glad he did do all that and i love having some stuff to hold onto like his Spotify but. it's just upsetting i guess, since you know, id rather have him.

its really funny seeing how other people view him, to me, at least, i guess since i got to see not just him being bad-pathetic but him bad-bad in general (and I'm not going to explain further than this, as i, despite claiming to find it funny, am happier than not that he died with a t least a somewhat positive. Uh. Perception.)

idk I'm not like, a great persoj, and i did Just let him die instead of going to unimaginable lengths. and I regret that everyday, but he was so steadfast. he just didn't care anymore , and he had me to talk to but it was like he didn't care about trying (because once he decided he'd died, what really mattered past that?) Ssorry this is all so congested and contradictory and I make no sense

and, id love to believe you when you say stuff like "you're not alone" but it's terrible because I really am. like it's out of personal fault, but even the people I feel as though I could go to for help, I coukdnt bring myself to,, not when it's anything Too serious,, not to mention the fact I just got dumped because he said I was 'unhealthy' (after 10 months of reassuring me that its ok if I am cuz he'll help... but that's. A whole different thing and has nothing to do with min and I'm just bitter and bringing him up out of.... bitterness.)

and im glad u left the ask mikey i really am

idk it's just kinda sweet. now I feel more like angel and saki..... Auuuhhuhhh

i don't know what to do in any regard currently though so I think I'm just gonna continue mourning something that's been gone for a year now. Someone. and being bitter and upset, and reminiscing and trying his memory into music I like (and emailing my bf. [not considering him an ex] [email cuz he blocked my number] obsessively until he decides to take me back)

[romanticfistfightz]

hiiii helllo!!!! hope you had goodnight <33

anyway. polish spn yapping cause im super not normal.

honestly i had in my mind that deans impala is. maluch. like. get it? BABY. though i guess it doesnt make sense cause its a small car and he needs space to hide bodies and stuff. or maybe he has a trailer or something

i think. since poland is kinda small country. broń brothers would hunt on the whole continent. like they had to learn 100% english and phrases in other languages. just yknow. euro travelling <33

also. mwn of the letters. this is the thing im the most normal about. so they were there since. Centuries. like still when we had kings and shit. they were kinda like wiedźmini, later became more like librarians. lol. they survived rozbiory and were the whole polska podziemna stuff yknow. they died in ww2. lmao. (also. daniel deserved to kill htler btw <33). also. im NOT normal about this. okayy soo men of the letter were. always on november 1st. doing the whole dziady thing. adam mickiewicz was invited to one of them and he was like. wow. im gonna write a book about this! so he did. and then daniel i sebastian, as legacies, decide to also. do this shit. and because they are broń brothers. smething goes wrong <3

okay. thats all for now !!! save me polish spn sAVE MEEEEE

hii yes it was good other than misha collins being there and running a . kind of a thrift shop but for mexican made and mexican-like stuff?? but also it wasnt really mexican i guess there was some handmade porcelain too and when i went in to buy sth he blocked my way and told me im late to therapy . so . also i didnt have to go to the office today bc life loves me and the id cards system broke so it wouldnt even log in that iw as there ^_^

also yess ive been thinking abt polish spn too 2days ago i spent like 40mins doing research abt cars to decide which one to give them also i will talk more abt it when i finish the art cuz i dont wanna spoil it too much<3 but yeah to make it super polish i decided to make it . not daniel bron but daniel strzelecki bc strzelba still counts and strzelecki is much more of a polish last name 🥰 also imo itd be fun if they went on the whole continet but keep more to eastern europe cuz theyd have beef with like . french hunters that take care of the west more or sth. and daniel knows polish and english which is useful yeah but not when they go to some fuckass nowhere in latvia and seba is fluent in those and also like . russian and idk hungarian and can communicate a bit in other languages so its easier for them to do jobs

i dont remember the men of letters thing in 100% but maybe like . 75%. but yesss thats so fun also mickiewicz man of letters imagine him getting invited then writing a book and then men of letters being like hey. thats not cool dude ! stop writing abt real shit and he was like yeah okay but people think im just very smart and creative so fuck you . also mickiewicz man of letters kinda and slowacki was a hunter and that's why they didnt like each other much. or something .