#though camera person

[sunskate]

ACI ice dance- first warmup group plus W/T

did i already say i love Dozzi/Papetti's Nessun Dorma program lol when you're a newer team, judges don't give you the benefit of the doubt if you make mistakes, and D/P had issues with twizzles and levels on steps at this event - but give me an expressive team any day. some skaters have a sensibility or taste informing their choices so that they know how to calibrate things - like LaLa - another team doing the ChaCha Slide could have been epically tacky. or Hannah and Ye- some of the gestures she's making at the end of Umbrellas could be overwrought and ott, just *too much* -- but she’s judging it so that it goes to the line but not over it, and it works. anyway, Leia and Pietro have a certain elegance - their tango last year was like this too, where it feels organic and musical

Robinson/Portz- their serpentine lift in the FD is a highlight for me - it's beautiful how they change position as he changes curves (don't get me started on how another team in this competition with a serpentine lift is on a flat for the 2nd curve lift but scored higher with it😑 Olivia and Tim are the 3rd team with one, and theirs is very cool, and i love how it ends right on the music). Alyssa and Jacob have nice soft knee action. i know he said he likes the fun RD most, but the softness and emotion of this program works really well - i like them a lot too

Harris/Chan's FD felt confusing in person - i can see more clearly what they're going for on the video - the music feels kind of episodic, and there's an ebb and flow like ocean waves in it that they're not quite capturing yet. if you're going to do something atmospheric you have to cast a spell with it, and they have some awkward moments to iron out before they can hold the audience with this-- i think this is a difficult program to pull off because it needs to flow like water

Wolfkostin/Tsarevskiy-- Charlie White did this really annoying thing where he'd clap very loudly when his team finished some of the elements - many coaches clap for their teams, but usually you feel they're clapping like they're applauding. but Charlie was very insistent and loud, like A) trying to get the audience to start clapping for them - it mostly didn't work💀 you have to give people credit - crowds won't be swayed if they're not feeling it, B) showing the judges he thought it was good or trying to influence them into thinking that, or C) signaling to the team that he approved. like stop interjecting yourself and let their skating speak for itself lol

(but after he did that for his team, both MF and Romain loud clapped for the IAM teams who came after - they hadn't done it for anyone before that. i just got a really competitive vibe from Charlie with this)

W/T had a skate they can be happy with here - they had a twizzle issue, but so did so many other teams- this was a deeper field than at Lake Placid where they won. W/T were in the club comp and Pate/Bye were in the International, so they didn't go head to head at Lake Placid

[tagidearte]

Who?

(Can't do digital art again yet. Traditional has been fun, though. Click for not blurry quality)

[saucefunk]

this line delivery has been stuck in my head recently

[bearofohu]

my favorite fact about the layton games that most people dont realize is that even though hershel is the protagonist every game is through luke’s POV

[gummi-ships]

Kingdom Hearts 2 - The World That Never Was

[presdestigatto]

GUYS????????

Looking at the timestamps, this was one month before Max’s first f1 race, and they last karted together in 2012 3 years prior. I have so many questions, like, were they cool at this point of time? Clearly they were friendly enough for Max to joke like this, but you can also notice that Charles only replied to Esteban LOL

[5ucket]

@sansxyouweek day 3: fun puns

[kuruk]

wair it looks a little better after I picked it up from my discarded newsprint sketches floor pile ithink jm going to try pastels again soon then. also I think I need to try working bigger I usually draw very small so wellyeah .. idknt know how to take pictures it's all quite blurry and inm sorry

[marclef]

What’s the relationship like between Peppino and Fake Pep? I wonder what its like to be friends with a literal clone of yourself…

hoo boy, it's a very interesting thing indeed! (and something i'm WAY too enthusiastic about sharing my ideas about hehehe 👀💧) especially when the clone of yourself is completely different from you in morals, tastes, actions, interactions..... just about the only thing that's similar is looks.

that's not to say that Peppino and his Fake don't get along though! it's gotten... better since Fake Peppino first showed up at Peppino's Pizza and then refused to ever leave. at least Fake Peppino has no desire to kill Peppino any more, he's a fellow Peppino and that would just be rude! not to mention how he regrets trying to kill him before... but it's all fine now!!

Fake treats Peppino with a decent amount of respect, part of it just because he considers Peppino a friend now, and part of it being how badly Peppino kicked his ass for things in the past. there's still an awful lot of things Fake Peppino does that makes most normal people uncomfortable... Peppino included. making inhuman noises, hiding in cramped spots just to jump out and spook you, eating things that definitely aren't meant to be eaten... Fake's fairly comfortable in his new home, and while Peppino feels a lot better about him, there's still times that it makes him feel a bit... anxious.

seeing something that once tried to kill you and still acts very off sometimes, acting as if you're a dear friend and snuggling up to you like a beloved family dog, that IS a little bit... uncomfortable, to say the least. but at least things could be worse... Fake could still be trying to kill Peppino like he was made to do.

there ARE a lot of things that Fake Peppino does though, in attempts to actually benefit Peppino. whether or not these are ACTUALLY good things is very debatable. clearing out any pest that make their way in is pretty nice at least, but then there's the more... questionable things that Fake does to try and help. for example, Fake doesn't tolerate any kind of rudeness towards Peppino or his restaurant. he still considers himself a Peppino in a sense, and sees the pizzeria as both Peppino's AND his own, so insulting either of those is the last thing you want to do.

do NOT ever behave in an unruly manner, or say rude things about Peppino in his pizzeria. you never know who might be listening...

... or that it might be the last mistake you ever make. be wary while making your way home after that... there might just be something that's tagged alongside you.

.... it IS a little worrying to Peppino that most rude customers never seem to show up again... but maybe they just stuck to their word and left? surely that's the explanation for it... Fake Peppino does look rather well-fed today though... but ah well... at least that's less angry customers to deal with?

but see, Fake Peppino DOES genuinely care for Peppino's well-being now! and Peppino, though still fairly wary, is at least thankful that he's not a threat to him. so while it's not exactly the most comfortable life, at least Fake doesn't cause Peppino any trouble... not that he knows much about.

but it WOULD help him feel a bit better, if Fake Peppino's instincts would stop acting up from time to time. there's only so many times that Fake's "kill and/or eat Peppino" brain instincts can kick in before it starts getting real uncomfortable. but at least he's not ACTUALLY trying to kill Peppino... it just tends to be that from time to time, Peppino might find himself getting licked or gently nibbled on. a wee bit unsettling when it's meant to be a clone of yourself doing that.... at least he's not really eating you??

so... uncomfortable at times, but could be worse! Fake Peppino can be fairly handy to have on hand too, a nice helper for cleaning and keeping watch! just.... don't worry about where some of the ruder customers have been going... i'm sure they're just fine.

[skrunksthatwunk]

you go to a lesbian blog and find it says women only!! no men allowed!!! and go oh! excuse me, um, what about other lesbians? plenty of lesbians are genderqueer... and they go well, okay, go fuck yourself tim chop off your sweaty dick and stop calling yourself a lesbian. you do not have a dick, actually. you think about that fact often, even though it does you no good. you do not tell this person that.

you go to another lesbian blog and it says women only and you try again, and this time they change it to wlw + nblw only (non-men who love non-men :D). and you'll say hey i appreciate that but gender's not really that cut and dry for a lot of people. someone could be both a man and nonbinary, for instance. i just worry that you're looking at nonbinary as a generic third gender, or an extension of womanhood. i mean yeah you include nblw in your tags but all your posts are about pussy-havers exclusively. what's with that? and they say go fuck yourself you pervy man pretending to be a lesbian. you tried to sneak in but i won't let you.

so you go to a lesbian blog with a dozen or so posts about queer people needing to be more weird about it and you sigh in relief. but you still see the men dni. that's odd. hoping for the best, you say hey! i know you mean well but please maybe don't put men dni at the end of the lovely posts on your lesbian blog bc some lesbians are men. and they'll be like ok!! well you're allowed ;) and you say no that's not. no. some men are lesbians not just me. you think about your own dicklessness and wonder if that's why you were given entry. and you add that even if male lesbians are allowed, there's no indication of that. how would anyone know without asking? and they're like ohh gotcha gotcha well men dni + this is for sapphics only!! and you'll be like ok well that treats the concepts of men and sapphics as mutually exclusive identities and i just told you that's not true and you agreed with me so.. i don't think that solves our problem. and they're like. ok. fine. men dni but genderfluid and multigender people are allowed! and you're like no see that's. that's still the same thing.. you're saying the same thing just with different words. if you don't want men to interact but you're fine with multigender/genderfluid/etc ppl interacting then you either don't see them as Real Men (because they don't reach a standard of Full Manhood) or Complete Men (because they're only Part-Time Men), both of which suggest that they are, in some way, not men or less-than men, which is invalidating and defeats the point of the exception in the first place (accommodation) OR that you don't really mean the dni which is confusing and inconsistent and makes guydykes feel weird and uncomfortable and excluded from the lesbian space you're trying to cultivate. and they're like um. ok. so. cishet men dni? and you're like well i think that makes more sense, but what if someone identifies as both a cishet man and a sapphic? again, if we're trying to accommodate the genderfucky populace then that has to be a possibility that is considered. and they say god you people are never happy. what do you want me to do? what am i supposed to say to keep the right men out? and you pause. you empathize with the need for a space free from dudes trying to fuck you straight and feminine. dudes who watch lesbian porn and joke about what they'd do if they were allowed into girls locker rooms. who look at you like a piece of meat, and like someone who looks at women like pieces of meat in the same way he does. you get it. you know. you want a space where you can be sapphic, too. that's why you came to these blogs in the first place. you brace yourself and you say well i don't know that there are "right men" to keep out. i don't know that there's any single label that would accomplish whatever it is you're trying to accomplish. you could go for "sapphics only" or "queers only" and i think that might be the closest thing to what you want, but it's never going to be perfect. creating any exclusive space is going to shut out people you didn't account for, and the broader the label, the more people will be shut out that you didn't want to shut out. and what about people who don't know if they're allowed? what of questioning transbians, where are they supposed to go? and, frankly, i think i might rather my dykey posts get read and appreciated by a gay guy who sees me as a man than a woman who only sees me as a sacred womb, pure from male perversions or violence or whatever. i think community might just be more complex than a dni can handle. and they look at you and say i don't want to not have a dni. i think you're too permissive. you can't just "what about" or microlabel your way into everything. go fuck yourself, i bet you're not even a lesbian anyway. go find a real problem to get mad about.

you go to a lesbian blog. you ignore the men dni because you know you probably don't even count to them. or maybe you do count and, out of respect for your manhood, they'd shun you accordingly. you try to feel okay about that. you scroll past dozens of posts about mediocre men and gagging at straight friends' boyfriends and how gross and undeserving men are of the beautiful women they couple up with and how all women should be gay so they can get treated right and and and and and. you finally find a post about curling into someone you love and feeling at peace and try to lose yourself in it. you know that feeling is what unites you, what makes you belong. you try to focus on it. you think about carding your hands through a butch's hair or lacing fingers with a femme and feeling warm and loved and more yourself than you ever have before. like this is who you're meant to be. you read about lesboys and butch boytoys and genderfucky dykes and big hairy deep-voiced wonderful women (like you want to be someday, like you wish you could make yourself) and you try to ignore the men dni underneath each and every post. and you daydream about meeting someone kind and earnest at a lesbian bar even though you don't think any such bars exist within three states of you and you can't drink and don't want to drink because you need to be in control of yourself at all times so you don't fuck up like you're always about to and here in the nonexistent lesbian bar you feel wanted and safe and in good company. you picture your ideal, happiest self. it is a mistake. ideal-you has a goatee. not the mascara one you smear on and call drag even though you know it's not drag, not really, the beard you call drag because you think everyone would look at you sadly if you told them it was just to pretend you had something out of your reach. a beard that's soft and that you grew and that cannot be smudged away if you get too comfortable with it. the dream shatters. your people pull away from you, their scoffs mixing with the mind-numbing gay girl bedroom pop you learned to settle for just to have something that almost resembled you, they all pull away and turn their backs and do not look at you. you're too close to being a man now, even though you're the same amount of man as before. and they know you're not supposed to interact with men, not as you would with dykes, at least. and it sours. it's all your imagination, all in your head, but it sours.

you sigh. you think about how small you are. how short, how narrow, how feeble. how your voice pitches up when you talk to strangers because it's easier to speak quietly when it carries more, and because you're nervous. because it's a chore to talk, like everything is. you think about testosterone. you think about how your family would look at you, the questions they would ask, your answers they would only pretend to accept. the uncomfortable glances and whispered questions they'd try to hide from you. you think about how small you are, and how small you will always be. how you don't know of a way to fix it, but even if there was one, no one would want you anymore. you'd be the only one thinking it made you a cooler dyke. you think about how you don't even want a T-voice all the time, how you'll never be able to switch it at will, because you don't know how and can't bring yourself to figure it out. you think about how your throat closes around every hint of your own attraction. how wanting is perverse, how wanting is invasive, how wanting is embarrassing and too vulnerable so it must stay anonymous, as an online witness, and how you can barely manage to form or maintain friendships because your brain makes you pull away, always spinning out and struggling to recover from the simplest of interactions. how they'll all leave you and you won't chase after them at all and how that will hurt them. how stuck you get. how it looks like nothing's holding you back, how that frustrates everyone who thought you were going to be more than you were. the people you love who understand except when it comes to being ghosted, being shut out. how you don't want to hurt them. how you can't tell them that because you're stuck. how you turn to stone when touched, how you never reach out, how you lose your speech and can't look at people, how your autism is fun and sexy until it becomes real and you never see them anymore, how much you longed for someone who knew everything without you having to explain, and who loved you anyway. how unreasonable you know that is to expect of anyone. you think about that not-even-real lesbian bar. you think about how you still can't drive. how you can't leave your home on your own, without dragging somebody into helping you. how you can't leave your body. how you can't leave your manhood behind.

you think about finding another lesbian blog and ignoring everything. about skimming it for the parts you can juice some meaning from. the parts men ignore and don't understand, and how typical of you it is to do so. or the parts where you're not welcome and you should accept that, because it's for lesbians only. how you are a lesbian anyway. how you're meant to choose lesbian or man, how each is a betrayal of some kind to yourself or your people, your family, your lovely strangers, your rare friendly acquaintances. about the parts that tell you you're not wanted, that you're ugly and lazy and gross and insert yourself everywhere without even asking. about the parts that tell you you are hated, and how lesbians are above it all by rejecting men. how lesbians are each blessed miracles. about the parts that say you should be ashamed of being whatever twisted confused freak you are, of everything, of looking and wanting or not looking or not wanting, of picking and choosing instead of taking it all in with a smile. after all, shouldn't you take it? or is your ego too fragile, as men's so often are? aren't you tired? good. we're not here for your consumption. and we sure as hell don't want your company or "community" or whatever. didn't you read the sign? no boys allowed. and if you want to come in you have to make up your mind. as if you haven't told them the only answer you have. you're both. you're both.

you know you broke the rule by interacting.

but it gets lonely sometimes. you wonder if they know.

[dan-whoell]

had a dream dnp did a haunted house tour, where they set up a haunted house in hotels and if you physically went, they'd be the scare actors along the path. (specifically phil. he was very excited about it) or you could just go to the hotel and 'play' the house on tv, like an interactive adventure

but even though i was there in the hotel doing it, it was something they'd done years ago? (like pre coming out)they released a bts vid about it and everybody lost their shit bc there's a 'woman's voice' asking dan questions and up until then everyone assumed phil was filming. it was also filmed in their (shared) hotel room, and showed the bed. there was some comment from her about both sides being warm, or something? im not fully sure how we knew that. but it was 'pHaN pRoOf!!1!' for awhile, except some were clinging to the woman as reason they couldn't possibly be gay.

there was a lot of back and forth whether she was just a fan or not, for years. then now we suddenly realised it was erin d from smosh and we all felt very silly for not hearing it.

9/10, loved seeing phil as a werewolf and zombie jock and dead pilot (?) AND it was great that he was so excited. dan was also there, but he was mostly quiet and letting phil lead the way (overwhelming amounts of heart eyes howell, which i'll never be over)

[thedickcavettshow]

One of my enemies has been leaving parts of a wasps nest on my front step, presumably to try to intimidate me, but I don’t think she realizes that I study entomology so I just think it’s cool.

[eviekean]

I saw the northern lights for the first time tonight :)

[shalom-iamcominghome]

I was avoiding crocheting this third row of shell stitching because I thought it would be so hard, but it isn't too bad... I just like being dramatic. Is it obvious that I have never done this stitch though? I feel like it's so obvious.

I wanted to share this because holy unwoven ends, batman 💀😭

[hanzajesthanza]

Bez krwi nie ma wampira. Jest to substancja, która decyduje o jego istnieniu, podobnie jak o istnieniu człowieka. Without blood there is no vampire. It is this substance which determines his existence, just as it does the existence of a human.

Maria Janion. "6. Krew i ciało," in Wampir: Biografia symboliczna. ("6. Blood and body," in Vampire: A Symbolic Biography.)

[icewindandboringhorror]

I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently