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felassan · 4 years ago

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Highlights and insights from the MELE launch cast & crew reunion panel

[rewatch link] [highlights & insights from the N7 Day 2020 reunion]

In case a text format is better for anyone (in terms of accessibility for example). Cut for length.

Some paraphrasing.

If anyone’s interested in just the line-reading session, it starts at timestamp ~1:04:45.

In addition to the cast and crew from the N7 Day reunion, at this reunion also in attendance were:

Mac Walters (Project Director for MELE, Lead Writer of the og MET)

Melanie Faulknor (Lead Producer for MELE)

Crystal McCord (Producer for MELE)

Fred Tatasciore (Saren)

Seth Green (Joker)

Kimberly Brooks (Ash)

Ash Sroka (Tali)

This was the biggest reunion / meetup of the cast so far, and some of the cast and crew were meeting for the first time here.

It’s been so long since the og MET that PW & KW are getting to watch their kids experience playing it for the first time

JHale doesn’t play but since MELE she’s been sneaking around Twitch jumping into peoples’ MELE livestreams to lurk, watch and comment a bit

What drew Seth to the character of Joker? The whole concept of the game. He likes games and MET’s mechanics (different trees of adventure, stacking reputation, choices carrying between games) at the time were the most sophisticated that he’d ever heard pitched. He thought this was new and exciting and wanted to be a part of it. For the character they cast him based on his personality traits (i.e. he sounds quite similar to Joker personality-wise)

Would Seth ever want to play Joker again if the opportunity presented itself? Sure, he loves the character, and if the writers ever had more things to explore/expand with Joker he’d be down for it.

Seth said that it’s a different kind of fan that approach him about this project. The fans have spent many many hours in an intimate exchange with “him” that he hasn’t been a part of, but they experienced it nonetheless. “I’ve hugged a lot of strangers, you know what I’m saying? It’s great, you get an interaction with fans that you never get as a performer in any other experience”

Seth has been a space guy since he was little, it inspires him

With the state of the world the way it is now [covid, masks etc], does Ash think Tali’s story will be more impactful now than it was before? Ash hopes so, and that anything they do here will have a positive impact on a bigger level. Ultimately that’s why most of them do what they do, they want to reach people in deep ways. She hopes Tali is an inspiration in courage, bravery, standing up for what’s right and thinking about the greater good

The [MELE I think] dev team had a last team meeting with Greg Zeschuk, one of the founders of BioWare, who they had invited to it. He was regaling them with stories of the inception of Mass Effect. “You would imagine this sort of well-laid out, drawing boards everywhere... [but] it was basically just a napkin sketch in a Greek taverna with him and Casey going ‘We wanna do a space opera’, and then it took off”

The process of creating lore through development is very organic. A lot of it comes from character and story development. It builds up over the course of the game’s development. They did the codex entries at the end, the idea being that if they saved them for as late as they could, then they could pull from the story, characters and meaningful moments, and build them from there

PW wrote a bunch of the codex entries, elevator banter & lots of little bits of lore. They describe their time on the og MET as being a “baby writer”. They originally came in after Mac had back surgery and a junior writer was needed to fill in. “It was really fun, it was us sitting in a room together going ‘What do you think a hanar or a krogan thinks about this or that’?” For a first project for them this was an amazing experience - the world building itself creatively with all these awesome people

They tried to add multiplayer in every game but only got it to work in ME3

They had a lot of plots laid out in ME1 that they called “global plots”. These were outside the core critical path and would take players from planet to planet, and were sprawling stories. They pulled out a lot of really interesting concepts and ideas from these that did make it into the game, but all of the global plots ended up getting cut due to time. Mac still has old diagrams and spreadsheets which detailed how all of these would have come together

Q. If you all had to take a long-distance road-trip with two squadmates, who would you take and why? PW: “Jack and Mordin. Mordin because the drive would never lack for things to talk about at length quickly, Jack because you know you wouldn’t pay for the room. You wouldn’t know how you’d get the room, but you wouldn’t be paying for it.” Courtenay: “I’d take Mordin because there’d be singing, and FemShep just to have this thing - happen. In the room that I get for free.” JHale at this point fistpumped while saying “Yeess” [then I think what she said was “steaming hot”]

Seeing as asari are long-lived, how open is Ali to one day reprising her role as Liara? “She’s a character very close to my heart, it was such a great opportunity. In some games that we work on the character has already been created or voiced by someone else, but this was really a group effort. When I first went into the booth, the only thing I’d seen of her was a sort of like, rendering, and we slowly kind of came to her voice and presence. I would love to bring Liara back any time... hey, she can live a really long time guys. :D”

Caroline and people who do what she does (Creative Performance Director) are so critical to the quality of games. Caroline: “This group of people are extraordinary. We were lucky to have such an extraordinary cast. Every [recording] session was new and challenging. It was a labor of love. I’m tearing up right now thinking about it. I’m remembering my last session with Jen, she was the last session, just sobbing and sobbing”. When JHale was trying to say the lines of Shepard’s goodbye with Garrus, a line hit her like a tonne of bricks and she was in tears and was like “Shepard does not cry”. “It took me a second, I got it out and took another run at it, it was in there but stuffed down as it should have been, and I finished the line [and there was silence in the booth when usually Caroline would have been talking to give direction or instruction] Did we lose her? Did Skype crash?” and it transpired that what had happened was that Caroline was in floods of tears

ME was the first time Keythe had ever come across branching dialogue. “Normally when we work on a script and it’s from page 1 to 100. In this it was get to page 5, then go back to page 2 and play it a little differently. The skill and the fun and joy of it was to be able to go back and play a scene in a different way, with different writing, with different outcomes. This was not only a challenge but a real treat. So to all the writers who dreamed up how this build-your-own-adventure plays out, you have my undying respect. It was a real pleasure”

VEDA is a proprietary system that BW use to record the dialogue, which is the closest way of having it feel like having people in the booth together (it’s all digital and VAs get to hear the line someone else has done in that scene). Caroline really pushed for this because of the amount of time etc that was wasted due to lack of this sort of thing on ME1. William: “It was a god send for me, thank you, getting to hear a cue from Jen or Mark.” Ali: “Us being able to bounce off each other helps make it more real. This for me was the most real acting experience on a game I had ever had - the writing being so good, Caroline helping us through, being able to hear each other.” JHale was always early coming in to record relative to the others so only got to use VEDA a few times - a bit of Liara content and the scene with Anderson towards the end. “Those two times, oh my god it was amazing”. VEDA being a thing also helps from a scheduling standpoint

Seth and Tricia Helfer (EDI) only got to be in the booth actually together 1 time, to record/shoot a piece of promotional video. “We actually got to record a scene together and we were like ‘oh my god this is the best thing ever’. It was great, even though I had to stand on a stool. She’s the best”

Seth: “As an actor, the kind of opportunity to do this kind of material in games just didn’t exist.” Fred: “Oh, never! I had never had a villain part that was complicated like that. In a game? Never before, it was really interesting”

Raphael always goes back to the fact that ME brought more women into gaming than any other game before it. “The writing and the complexity of the relationships gave us so much ballast”. “This set this apart from running, shooting, gunning, looting”

JHale: “What I noticed in the times before when I got to be around fans, there was a huge hunger among women in the gaming world for something they could really jump into. They were starving for something which fed them what they deserved and needed”

Mac: “[praising Caroline] Caroline would often come to us as writers and challenge us and say, as an example, ‘Do we really need another male character to do this? Why are we writing another male character for this?’ She pushed that very early and to the betterment of everything we created”

PW: “Karin and Cookie and all of the editors across the trilogy, [were critical in] making sure that Shepard sounded consistent - [especially since] we had a large writing team, writers came and went, Mac is the only one with a significant writing contribution on each of the games”

PW: “[on game dev] It’s a process of getting hundreds of people pointed in the same direction, all believing that this is something worth doing”

Ash: “Having all the different possibilities and avenues, going back to play them all out in the different ways [really helped to round the character of Tali out and make her feel like a natural person]”.

VAs only get paid for the original recording sessions, not again (as in they don’t any royalties or anything from something like the remaster)

In MELE, they left all the original credits at the end of each game in

Fred: “It’s creating in five dimensions [because of all the outcomes and relationships etc]”. Seth: “The cool thing is that the audience feels that. They’re immediately struck by how dense, thought-out, prepared and planned the entire universe is”

How was it for the new MELE devs coming onto this? Crystal: “I knew it [the series and fans’ love for it] was big, but I didn’t know it was BIG! Working on MELE there was this infectious excitement. Being part of it was so exciting.” Melanie: “I came on at ME3, I had a 3 or 4 year honeymoon period with BioWare. Coming onto MELE, I’m getting really emotional. One of my first meetings originally was going into a cinematic review for an epic Tali scene in ME3”. Crystal: “On MELE, we had an hour or 2 every day where the team came together to play the game. In those reviews, a lot of the devs who worked on the original would tell all these stories. It was really fun to hear all the inside stories on ME’s creation and be a part of that”

DC: “Should this unit get vaccinated?” Ash: “Of course”

How do they think ME will be viewed in the next 10-20 years, what do they think its legacy will be? A piece of history, ground-breaking. It broke down some barriers and opened doors for people. It’s a powerful, powerful community. It’ll continue to age quite well and be enjoyed by a new generation, it’s original and evergreen and there’s a lot in it that people go back to. There’s a lot of universal things in it (personal experiences, like there will always be love, people fighting to belong, trying to make sense of their pasts etc)

JHale and Alix did the “I love you Shepard, now go save the world again” Shep-Sam exchange and both got teary. It was then Seth’s turn to line-read: “Jesus Christ, now that I’m good and choked up, fucking mess”. Ali was also actually crying from it

Seth: “It can’t be overstated, this community is so large and global, it is one of the most powerful fandoms that I’ve ever been greeted with. Thank you”. Ash: “It’s the most amazing group of fans ever. We’re all so grateful”

Some funny anecdotes/stories:

PW didn’t realize that Alix could do different accents. They remember a time when they were listening in the booth and an Alliance soldier was complaining about the gear had been given. They said “Wow that’s really good, who is that?” and the VO producer said “That’s Alix, Patrick”, “because she wasn’t doing her [normal British accent but was doing a Californian accent instead]. Alix roasted me later for not recognizing her voice and never let me heard the end of it”

Alix: “[on Sam’s toothbrush] Caroline’s like, ‘So then she pulls her toothbrush’ and I’m like ‘What? Sorry? A toothbrush?’ and obviously it’s funny now as everyone knows that Sam’s thing is her toothbrush. Caroline’s like ‘Yeah, you’ve gotta like, flirt, over the toothbrush’ and I’m like ‘Who wrote this - a frickin toothbrush, are you kidding me? Really guys?’ ANYWAY. I was wrong and it worked. :D”

Fred: “I remember a 12 year old kid coming up to me and being like [flat tone] ‘Oh yeah. I killed you’.”

Keythe: “The other assasin I play is Kellogg in Fallout 4. People come up to me like ‘Omg. I love you so much. And then I fucking KILLED you!’”

Courtenay once went out to dinner in NZ with a few prominent people from the Game of Thrones cast. “Everyone around was making a big deal out of it like ‘Omg, it’s so-and-so from GoT’. I was feeling a bit like ‘Hi, I’m here, just nobody’. And I looked around in the restaurant and there's one guy in the corner and he’s got an N7 shirt on and he’s just looking at me like [knowing look, does a peace sign]. And I’m like ‘I got one! I love you guys!’”

PW: “I have a question for the cast members, because I don’t know if JHale has done this to all of you or if she just does it to the devs. Show of hands if Jen has ever made you do push-ups.” JHale: “It’s just you guys”

Karin: “One of my favorite editing files that I ever had was a ME file. It was before Seth was coming in for a session. I opened it up and it was just 20, 25 lines with the word ‘Shit’, over and over again, and I was like, ‘This file is perfect, I don’t need to do anything to it, have fun!’”

Seth: “Didn’t we do a track that’s like 60 seconds of laughing? Escalating laughing? I don’t know about other actors but for me getting into a laughing fit is kind of like trying to get into a crying fit, it takes the same level of commitment, you start to follow a path until like you’re hysterically uncontrollably laughing. I remember looking through the glass, and I’m deep in it at this point, and I make eye contact, and I can see from the other side of the booth and they’re like [making ‘okay you can stop’ now gestures] - ‘Like that’s plenty, we got it’ and I was like ‘okay, okay [dying]’”

JHale: “The craziest thing Mark and I had to deal with was how many times we had to say ‘I should go’”. Mark: “We also, Caroline and I tended to use that as short hand when I needed to go to the bathroom”

The panel host: “The first time I interviewed Ali was a decade ago. She did the ‘I’ll flay you alive with my mind’ line halfway through, it was my first interview and I literally fell out of my seat [from being star-struck]”

Ash line-read Tali’s drunk omni-tattoo scene and in response DC said “I totally get why people wanna romanticize all these characters :D”. Karin: “We’ve had more than one person come up to us and show us actual tattoos that looked like that”

[source]

#bioware #mass effect #video games #covid mention #long post #longpost #garrus vakarian #best boy #feels #lul

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massensterben-a · 4 years ago

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1. What does your muse smell like?

Bertholdt retains his own scent quite easily. He smells faintly of warm wood with a salt-sweet touch, somewhat musky. Due to his high body temperature his clothing also keeps his scent for quite a while after he takes it off. He prefers soaps with a herbal scent to them so that is also something by which to recognize him. (Fun fact: the official fragrance for Bertholdt includes vanilla, lemon, jasmine, lilac, sandalwood and musk.)

After his return from Paradis, Bertholdt takes up a severe smoking habit which effectively kills his body scent. He smells like cloves and stale smoke now. Nothing to be done about it except stop smoking, but that’s a conversation he won’t be having.

2. What do your muse’s hands feel like?

Bertholdt’s hands are very warm. His fingers are long and his hands quite large though utterly in keeping with his height. He has a soft touch when he wants to but is capable of a death grip that’ll break your wrist. They are strong and skilled hands, and surprisingly nimble. Over the course of his tenure on Paradis, especially after the work he did in the refugee settlement, his hands grew quite rough to the touch from constant use. However, after Shiganshina, he had to regrow his extremities a couple of times and the hands he has now would tell you nothing of the physical labor he’s endured in his life. Just another reason why you can’t judge a book by its cover, in his opinion.

3. What does your muse usually eat in a day?

Bertholdt will eat anything you set down in front of him. He is constantly hungry. Although he won’t go out of his way to do anything about it, he will also not pass up the chance to eat when it presents itself. He isn’t very interested in breakfast as he is a restless sleeper and has a hard time waking up in the morning. His appetite is not equal to his hunger at all, and he has a rather pragmatic opinion on food. He will eat to regain energy and care about specifics only when he has that luxury. As he grew up dirt poor, he has never had the opportunity to be picky about his food. Either he ate what was there, or he didn’t eat.

He will usually keep to five to six small meals as opposed to three large ones. He finds it more comfortable and it works better with his overall lifestyle. When given the choice, he will stick to vegetables and seafood as opposed to meat. Meat was a rarity in his childhood and he has never developed a great fondness for it. He enjoys fried food though.

4. Does your muse have a good singing voice?

Yes. I don’t keep to the Japanese VA for my overall voice headcanon for Bertholdt,but since the acting (which is wonderful, nothing but respect for Tomohisa) has little to do with the singing he does here, it counts. I really enjoy the smooth quality of his voice. It is, funnily enough, closer to what I imagine this way. Bertholdt is not likely to sing to anyone, though. He has no training and no practice. He used to sing to himself a little as a child when he found out about the concept of lullabies but felt very stupid about it and didn’t keep it up. He will quietly hum and mouth along when there is some alcohol-based singing going on during a get-together, but that is the most of it.

The level of intimacy and trust that would have to be established for Bertholdt to freely sing in front of another person has yet to be unearthed. If he were to do it, though, he’d also stick to soft simple melodies, again: lullabies most likely.

5. Does your muse have any bad habits or nervous ticks?

Bertholdt does have some mannerisms that could be called stress responses. For one, when he sits, he will draw his knees up to his chest and hug them, and make himself as small as possible. He does this so he won’t take up more space than necessary and also to feel “safer” in situations which make him uncomfortable. He will also turn non-verbal if he is dealing with emotional turmoil and keep all of it locked up until it explodes out of him in anger.

After his return from Paradis, his habits and tics get more pronounced. He still has trouble articulating himself in emotionally charged moments, but what is more prominent is his smoking habit. He does it to combat stress and insomnia and swears it works. Whether it does... Eh. He consistently smokes a pack a day but will go through them faster when he is more agitated.

He is also has taken up a nervous tic that involves him tapping his fingers (especially his nails) on flat surfaces around him. He is subconsciously tapping out the Paradisian equivalent for morse code that signals SOS. He picked this up during his time in the Underground and found some comfort in the repeating rhythm when he needed to calm himself. He is not aware that his tapping translates as a call for help.

6. What does your muse usually look like / wear?

When he isn’t wearing whatever uniform he is supposed to be wearing at the given time, he will usually opt for long-sleeved shirts and sweaters. He is fond of dark mute colors, especially blue tones. He prefers to dress conventionally but has a taste for clothing that suggests a higher social standing than he has. He will dress more maturely than his age as well, button-down shirts and cloth trousers especially. He was taught by his father that appearances are important and must be kept. Even when his father barely had the money to feed him, he’d still make sure Bertholdt was well-dressed when he sent him out to find money. Bertholdt kept that attitude and dresses accordingly.

Even after he leaves Paradis, he will usually look deceptively well put-together despite the terrible wreck the rest of his life is at any given point. He will usually wear the uniform provided him by Marley, however, and does not bother with civilian clothing all that much. The uniform serves its purpose. He will, however, wear long trenchcoats on colder days.

7. Is your muse affectionate? How much? How so?

Well, no. Bertholdt has never been reared to exhibit affectionate behavior and hasn’t been shown it from his father as a child. His first brush with it happens when he befriends the other warrior candidates and though he very much enjoys it, he has trouble reciprocating adequately. Bertholdt shows his affections through casual touches and shared activities (e.g. sparring, which to him feels like the one ‘appropriate’ way to be close to others excessively. The rituals are intricate, we know, we know.)

As he grows up, Bertholdt also grows more into himself. He must be coaxed into affection though he is not averse to it. He isn’t a great cuddler by nature and feels put on the spot when he tries to be affectionate with his words. His most honest displays of affection are still physical and will include light touches to shoulder or back, standing in close proximity or the like.

When he returns from Paradis, Bertholdt has fully grown touch-averse and wouldn’t be caught dead exhibiting signs of vulnerability, if he had his way, anyway. He reacts negatively to most displays of affection unless they are somehow covered up and disguised as indirect. He feels he is not deserving of affection and also has no impulse to be affectionate with others. But we’ll get him there eventually.

8. What position does your muse sleep in?

All of them, and a few you haven’t even heard of.

9. Could you hear your muse in the hallway from another room?

Rarely. He doesn’t usually walk with a heavy step unless he is marching, and is not in the habit of making a lot of noise. If he is in conversation or the like it could be easier to overhear him, though, as he doesn’t usually regulate his volume when he is in private. Sometimes he just has things to say.

Tagged by: @oncejaw (<3)

Tagging: @gepanzrt @primasolaris (Jean or Meg) @gedrillt @leastregrets @hiisflame @worstheir

#;;headcanon — aber ansonsten geht's ihm gut.#oof. this was a thing and a half x.x

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anothersievefistedfind · 4 years ago

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Photo © by John Falls

Fugazi, New Horizons, Richmond, VA USA 10/7/1987 (FLS #0004)

What I like about these early recordings are the intimate settings and the dynamics that usually result from that. Only about 50 people attended this particular concert in Richmond, Virginia and it seems that plenty of friends came down from D.C. to take part in the events.

Note that this is only the second Fugazi gig that is played outside of D.C., the recording of the previous show in Chapel Hill, North Carolina unfortunately is not available at this time. An early And The Same improvisation serves as a sound check and gets things going. Song #1 follows suit and features Guy on backing vocals for the very first time! Guy actually also pitches in vocally during Waiting Room, Merchandise and The Word, and basically seems to be gearing up to become a definite band member at this point.

A tremendous rendition of Furniture is up next, and although Brendan seems to miss a beat here and there, he really makes this one count with a couple of finger licking subtle drum fills. In Defense of Humans is a treat, providing ample opportunity for Ian’s signature guitar bursts. Turn Off Your Guns gets another solid play as well, and is introduced as “a popular little ditty-di-di-di-di-di-di-di-ditty about suicide.”

The band then adds another song to the set list as an early, unfinished version of Keep Your Eyes Open (featured on the 1991 album Steady Diet of Nothing) is premiered and this one really lights the recording up for me personally. The band actually drops the ball about half-way through the song, after which Ian pleads to try over, inviting people to shout “Fuck Brendan” should they mess up again. Some attendees seem to pick up on this, which in turn sets off a spark, causing Brendan to make up his own chorus. The result is hilarious, with Ian singing the chorus “We must, we must, we must” and Brendan interpolating “Fuck Eli” (probably Eli Janney, a D.C. affiliate).

Joe then leads us skillfully into Waiting Room, while Ian takes his time to explain it is a song about “waiting until you get with the right motherfucking people and making it work” and that “it’s worth the wait ‘cause the energy level will definitely be much much higher”, arguable relating the origin of the song to the cumbersome formation of the band itself. Interlude 5 basically includes a little jam session, providing people with an opportunity “to see exactly what it is like in the very practice space at Dischord House”. Ian and Joe add some authenticity by getting some people to bark to get a feel of the dogs upstairs, and even try to get someone to mimic Jeff (Nelson).

A great version of Merchandise is up next, during which Ian finds yet another opportunity to elaborate on the meaning of the song. By now, the mood is very casual and everyone seems to feel very much at ease, which results in an engaging version of the Joe #1 instrumental during which Ian repeatedly, yet unsuccessfully opens the floor (and mic) for anyone willing to get something off his or her chest or to even recite some poetry. As would often be the case during Fugazi gigs from here on out, Ian fully praises a local food joint, in this case Grace Place, what seems to have been one of the first vegetarian restaurants in the state of Virginia, maybe even the first in Richmond (it seems to have closed its doors in the 1990s). An incredibly fun and downright sizzling version of The Word concludes the set and evening, eliciting shouts and hoots from band and audience members alike. Listening to this recording, you can easily pick up on the jovial mood of those present, everyone having a great time. It is quite infectious and I very much enjoyed listening to it, actually wishing I could have been there. Overall, I think the drums, bass and guitars sound very well in the mix, the vocals come across rather shrill though, and are a bit sharp on my ears.

The set list:

1. And The Same Instrumental 2. Song #1 3. Furniture 4. Interlude 1 5. In Defense of Humans 6. Interlude 2 7. Turn Off Your Guns 8. Interlude 3 9. KYEO 10. Interlude 4 11. Waiting Room 12. Interlude 5 13. Merchandise 14. Interlude 6 15. Joe #1 16. The Word 17. Outro

#FLS1987 #fugazi #fugazi live series #dischord #new horizons #richmond #virginia #highlight

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joftw · 4 years ago

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Date: Thanksgiving ( November 26, 2020 )

Location: Roseville, VA

TL;DR: Jo comes out to her dad yay ! yes I know this is a week late don’t @ me

Jo hadn’t meant to invite her girlfriend to Thanksgiving dinner with her father who she wasn’t yet out to -- it just happened. Her and Mari had been texting about Thanksgiving, and when Mari said she had no plans, it was a knee-jerk reaction to invite her. It’s not a holiday that’s particularly significant to Jo, especially considering the last few years had been spent just her and her father eating dinner at the Roseville Diner. But she did realize pretty quickly that asking Mari to meet her dad was a pretty big step, and more importantly, one that she wanted.

She wasn’t surprised that he didn’t have any objections to someone else coming to dinner with them, but she was a little surprised that Mari didn’t mind being just a friend for the evening. Of course, it’s not unlike Marisol Guinto to be so understanding, but it was a favor that Jo didn’t like asking of her to begin with. The self-consciousness of a new relationship had worn off back in Berlin, and now Jo likes people knowing who she’s dating, because she’s proud to be with Mari. Pretending otherwise feels like a step in the wrong direction -- but it was just for one day, she had to remind herself. She’d tell her dad when the timing is right, not over the phone before Thanksgiving.

But there’s something surreal about seeing Mari and her dad -- her two favorite people -- sitting at the same booth in the Roseville Diner. Her dad has always been easygoing and Mari is always charming, so ideally there’s no reason for them NOT to get along, but seeing the two of them interact together makes Jo feel like she’s on cloud nine, not even minding if half the time they’re making fun of Jo in one way or another. Despite all the drama and tragedy that this year had brought, it’s brought a lot of good to her too, and there’s something fitting about celebrating a day to be thankful with the two people in her life Jo’s thankful for everyday. It’s because of that that Jo realizes the conversation with her dad isn’t one for the future, but one for today.

Of course, letting it slip to Mari that she loves her right before her father comes back from the bathroom also provides a small sense of urgency.

Despite initially having plans with Mari to spend the rest of the evening with her, when dinner ends Jo tells her she’s going to go back to her dad’s hotel for a while, and she’ll see her back at school. There’s guilt that comes with ditching Mari, especially after having said the three little words for the first time in their relationship, but Jo knows that she can’t have THAT conversation until she has this one first.

“You could’ve gone back with your friend, you know,” Steven Tran says as he flips the light on in his hotel room, with Jo following shortly behind. She had told him she probably won’t spend the night in his hotel room this visit because she has homework to catch up on (when in reality she just has a girlfriend she’d rather sleep with), but she takes note that he had rented a room with two beds anyway.

Jo takes a seat on the edge of the bed closest to the door. “Yeah, I know. I just figured we should spend some time together, just the two of us. You did come all this way.” There’s a lightness in her voice that typically only comes out with her father, but Jo feels her voice catching a little, sounding more awkward than usual (though she could be imagining it). She’s nervous, she realizes, which shouldn’t come as a shock to her. The last time she had seen him had been the week before fall semester began, and before that she had been home for the entire month of June. There had been many family dinners in that time where she could’ve gotten this conversation over with, but she had always told herself there would be a better time, or that once a better opportunity presented itself, she would say something. It takes her sitting in her dad’s hotel room right now to realize those had only been excuses, and she wishes more than anything she had another excuse to further put this off.

“I can’t believe this is your last year here, and our last Thanksgiving here.” He sounds wistful when he says it, which surprises her. Jo’s never really thought much about their Thanksgivings in Roseville. In fact, she kind of figured he wouldn’t miss schlepping to Virginia every year. New York’s not exactly close. “Do you want a drink?”

“What?” When she glances up, Jo realizes he’s holding out a beer for her. She snorts. “You wasted no time,” she chastises him, but takes the beer anyway. Usually she’d rather swallow her own spit than drink beer, but she could use it right now. Her dad’s not really a beer drinker either, so it’s an unfamiliar feeling to share a beer with him, but considering the circumstances of her visit, it’s just normal enough for her to not overthink it. Jo grimaces after taking a long swig. “No offense, but I’m not really going to miss diner food for Thanksgiving.”

“What, and are you cooking next year?” Steven laughs, causing her to roll her eyes and smile. She expects him to launch into questions about where she sees herself next year, since her future employment seems to be his favorite topic to bring up during their weekly calls (which is just so Dad of him), but instead he surprises her. “Your friend Mari was very nice.”

It’s not a question, but Jo finds herself blinking slowly, trying to figure out how to answer him. The word friend almost makes her flinch. “Uh, yeah. She is.” A small pause. “I figured you two would get along. You’re both so…”

“Hilarious?” he asks, as if Jo hadn’t been the butt of every joke at dinner. She scoffs out a laugh, taking another sip.

“Modest,” she corrects. Unfortunately she does thinks he’s pretty fucking funny, as far as dads go, although it doesn’t hurt that he’s raised her into having the same sense of humor as him. But it’s hard to feel lighthearted right now, as she carefully passes the beer bottle back and forth in her hands. “So you liked her, then?” She’s trying to be casual, but she knows the hesitance in her voice is a dead giveaway. Not only is Steven Tran a retired spy, but he isn’t a moron.

Jo can see him nod slowly from her peripherals. “Why do you sound so surprised about that? I always like your friends. Whenever you do let me meet them,” he adds, tone a little pointed. There’s that word again: friend.

She doesn’t say anything for a moment, instead letting her eyes glaze over the beer bottle in her hand as she tries to figure out a way to start this. Jo’s thought of a million different scenarios where she DIDN’T want to have this conversation, but she’s never once figured out the perfect way to do it -- and if there’s one thing Jo likes, it’s doing something the right way. She’s suddenly very aware of her heart beating quickly in her chest, the way it always does before an important final for a class that she’s not completely confident in. This moment feels like a test in itself, one she’s losing confidence in by the second.

Despite not talking to her anymore, Jo already knows her mother wouldn’t approve of her relationship. She’s not a stranger to feeling like a disappointment to her mother, because her whole childhood had felt like not being able to live up to her mom’s particular standards. Jo doesn’t even see it as a bad thing anymore, just a fact of life, that mothers are always going to want something different for their daughters. The fact is that her mother’s also always been small-minded. It’s because of her that Jo thought it was normal for people to rudely gawk when two people of the same sex walk hand-in-hand, and why she had lived in New York City all her life and had barely been below 34th Street until she was fifteen (her mom thought everyone who lived Downtown “had loose morals”). Her mother hadn’t been incredibly religious, but they attended church every Sunday because of her, and she had once told Jo she wouldn’t let her not get married in a church. It had taken Jo years to realize the feelings she had for her best friend Rose in high school were beyond a normal friendship, and she can’t help but put some of that blame onto her mother.

But while her mother had always made her thoughts and opinions very transparent, Jo’s father was another story. They’ve always been close, especially in the last five years, and yet Jo struggles to think of the last serious conversation she’s had with him that wasn’t about her career. She can typically go to her dad with anything and everything, she knows, which is why it’s so hard that she feels like she can’t physically get this one thing out. It’s not from a lack of wanting, because during their weekly calls lately Jo can feel herself having to hold back from talking to much about Mari -- except every story about her has been prefaced with my friend, because she had even been afraid he would see right through her for talking about one friend in particular so much. It’s from a lack of knowing his reaction, the fear of the possibility that her dad has the same views on her mom did, and the potential that it’ll change everything between them.

Jo’s lost her mother and her brother already -- by choice, after choosing her father over them. It’s not a choice she thinks she’ll ever regret, but the idea of losing her last of her family just because of who she is as a person is enough to make tears prick in her eyes. Eyes close tightly as she brings the beer bottle to her lips once more.

She can feel the bed move when her dad takes a seat on the edge of the bed beside her. After swallowing the rest of her sip, Jo decides to rip it off like a bandaid. “Mari’s my girlfriend.”

The room is silent, though Jo can’t hear it over the sound of her blood pumping in her ears. She stares straight ahead, refusing to look at him until he says something; she’s not sure she’d be able to deal with the look on his face if it’s even slightly negative. The heinous beer she’s been drinking definitely doesn’t help her churning stomach.

Finally he clears his throat. “Okay.” It’s hesitant, but clear.

Jo finally looks at him. “Okay?” she echoes, eyebrows raised.

Steven Park shrugs once, looking a little embarrassed -- whether it’s of himself or her, she can’t really tell, because he doesn’t elaborate. It occurs to Jo that this is probably where she’s gotten her poor conversation skills from. She feels tears forming in her eyes again, though this time she’s not fast enough to hide them. “Hey, Jo,” he says softly, in a tone she hasn’t heard him use on her in years -- as if she’s a little girl again, and he’s comforting her after a hard day of school. “It’s okay. I’m sorry, you just… I don’t really know what to say. Except I love you.” He says it like it’s so obvious that she can’t help but let out a short, breathy laugh. Jo shakes her head at him, quickly swiping her eyes.

“Mari… she’s the friend you were always talking to this summer, right?” The question makes Jo snort, because she hadn’t thought he really noticed. She nods. Her father doesn’t say anything for a beat, before finally adding, “Well, I guess I’m not that surprised.”

“What?” She doesn’t mean for it to come out sharp, but Jo can tell she’s scared him by the way he flinches at the look she gives him.

“I mean… you’ve been at Gallagher for three and a half years, and in all your time there all I hear you talk about are the redheads. I’d find it hard to believe you made any more friends,” Steven says, and she knows him well enough to know he’s kidding, just by the way the corner of his left mouth lifts slightly. It makes it all feel a little more normal, even if she is still wiping a few uncharacteristic tears off her cheeks. “And who wants to spend Thanksgiving with someone else’s Dad?”

Jo shakes her head, a small smile flickering on her lips. “Well, that’s just Mari,” she admits, causing him to laugh. Eyes narrow in his direction, because Jo doesn’t like being laughed at. “What?”

“Nothing,” he assures her. “You just sound… happy. You seem happy, too.” Steven glances over at her, eyes flickering over her face, looking at her so tenderly that Jo has to look away, otherwise more tears will come. At least those are of a different feeling altogether. “I know you probably don’t want to hear it, but… I do worry about you,” he continues. “I know you’re tough, but sometimes I’m afraid you don’t let yourself, you know, be a kid. Especially after everything that’s happened. I just want you to be happy, kiddo.”

“I am,” she says, voice small, because Jo’s afraid to say more (and god knows she could say a lot about how happy she is right now) and possibly regret it.

“Good,” her father replies, “then that’s all that matters.” He pauses for a few seconds, and when he talks again, he doesn’t sound as sure as before. “So, uh. Is it serious? I’m guessing it is, since you let me meet her.”

She can only let out a small laugh, wiping the corners of her eyes as she nods. “Yeah, I guess so.” It’s awkward talking to him about this, but it’s the kind of awkward that comes with discussing relationships with your middle-aged father -- the kind of awkward that also feels normal. Already she can feel her heartbeat steadying once more, and while the butterflies still remain, it’s only because they’re talking about Mari. “I actually… told her I loved her,” Jo admits, and it’s impossible not to cringe. “While you were in the bathroom during dinner. It sorta just happened.”

Part of her worries that if they keep talking about it, she’s going to say something that will suddenly no longer make it okay. But for now, he just laughs. “That explains why you looked as pale as a ghost when I came back. I thought you just ate too much.” Steven pushes some hair out of his eyes, sitting up a little straighter when he says, “I hope you know you didn’t need to keep it from me. I mean, I’ve expected for a while something was off with you, but I figured it was just senior year nerves. There’s nothing you could do that’d ever make me stop loving you, Jo.”

Jo’s never been sentimental, finding outward displays of love and affection cringe-worthy at most. So she can feel her dad stiffen in surprise for a moment when, instead of scoffing at him, she wraps her arms around him tightly. Lips press to the top of her head, and suddenly she can feel it: the weight of the world she’s been holding on her shoulders suddenly disappear. Tonight she’ll have another big discussion with Mari, but for now she lets herself enjoy her father’s embrace, as well as the feeling of her last shred of self-doubt being slowly erased.

#jo ; self-para #ngl i'm not really proud of this but i pushed through anyway bc i have replies to do #and if felt lame not writing such an important plot point for her #so have this trash

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sinceileftyoublog · 3 years ago

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Emmylou Harris & Los Lobos Live Show Review: 8/5, Canal Shores, Evanston

Emmylou Harris

BY JORDAN MAINZER

“Behold: the vaccinated!” Emmylou Harris proclaimed on Thursday night to a crowd of cheering concertgoers in their lawn chairs, before launching into “Wayfaring Stranger” in all its slide guitar glory. Technically, at Out of SPACE this weekend, guests are required to present either proof of vaccination or a negative PCR COVID test conducted within 24 hours of the time of the event. But the sentiment of the night remained, one of cautious optimism more than a party, all while allowing for some combined levity and healing from the dearth of live music during the pre-vaccine era of the pandemic. In a sense, for the first night of what was likely for many the first outdoor festival since COVID (I’ll guess that there isn’t too much Out of SPACE/Lollapalooza crossover), Harris was the perfect headliner, not one to make many jump up and dance but instead reflect. Opening with “Here I Am” from Aughts opus Stumble Into Grace, Harris sang, “My arms are ever open / In this harbor calm and still / I will wait until / Until you come to me.” More than ever, it functions as an allegory for having not just respect but patience for your fellow person, navigating a world of seemingly infinite uncertainty.

To me, what’s always made Harris so great is not just the wonderfully weary quality of her voice but the adaptability of it. Throughout her career, some of her best recordings have been songs written by or initially recorded by others, taking nothing away from her own tremendously empathetic writing. Whether it’s Gillian Welch’s “Orphan Girl” and Steve Earle’s “Goodbye”--both recorded for 1995′s rockier pivot Wrecking Ball--or a chugging rendition of Gram Parsons’ eternal jam “Ooh Las Vegas”, appearing on Elite Hotel, Harris uncannily emphasizes every sentiment of the original. Sad songs become sadder, and hopeful songs more hopeful, all while allowing listeners to project their own emotions onto the material. A song like The Flying Burrito Brothers’ “Wheels” is at once yearning and golden, the backing band (Red Dirt Boys + Eamon McLoughlin) providing a boost of burning energy. Harris certainly does contain multitudes; biographical songs like “Red Dirt Girl” are just as much about her life as they are about longing to escape your current situation, even if it seems impossible.

Los Lobos’ David Hidalgo

The two songs she performed before her encore were more on-the-nose selections: “Together Again”, the Buck Owens song recorded for Elite Hotel and dedicated to the crowd, and Drifters adaptation “Save the Last Dance For Me” from Blue Kentucky Girl. (“It’s one of the few songs I could sing at a wedding and get away with it,” she quipped about the latter.) For the most part, though, Harris did what she does best, pay tribute to characters past and present, fictional and real. She mentioned the late great mandolin player Byron Berline who passed away last month before performing “One Of These Days”. (Berline played on the recording.) She and the band did a rendition of Bill Monroe instrumental “Get Up John”, a live favorite. “My Name Is Emmett Till” from 2011′s Hard Bargain presents Till’s story from his perspective and in the most straightforward terms possible, as if to let the evil that caused his murder show itself sans pretense. In an extended time period that saw many people fail to ask, “What is the worth of the life of a person who I don’t know?” Harris begged us not to look the other way.

Openers Los Lobos were an inspired choice to pair with Harris, and not just because both bands featured fantastic accordion players, as she noted. The East L.A. rock band are troubadours like Harris but of a sonically different kind, coupling their stories with blues shuffles, scorching psychedelic wah wahs, and snappy funk. Their songs offer journeys both lyrical and musical, from “The Neighborhood”, the title track of an album paying tribute to the second-generation immigrant community, to a buoyant track like The Town & The City’s “Chuco’s Cumbia”. Of course, they did provide a little bit of a party, including a medley of The Undisputed Truth’s “Papa Was A Rollin’ Stone” and Tito Puente’s “Oye Como Va”, and predictably ending with their best-known adaptation, “La Bamba”. I do wish they had played more from their most recent release, Native Sons (New West), a collection of tunes from Los Angeles artists from well-known acts like Jackson Browne and the Beach Boys to lesser-known bands like the Jaguars. (The album has one original track, the title track). Since the set was slightly plagued by feedback/sound problems, songs from the new record, like a blistering version of WAR’s “The World Is A Ghetto” or Buffalo Springfield’s “For What It’s Worth”, might have given the band an opportunity to play their new material while giving the audience something familiar with Los Lobos’ unique spin. It also would have showcased their ability, like Harris’s, to adapt old material just as well as write new tunes, all filtered through David Hidalgo and company’s singular experiences. Either way, both sets proved to be a welcome, but prudent return to live music.

Los Lobos

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independentartistbuzz · 4 years ago

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7 FROM THE WOMEN: RED FLOWER LAKE

Red Flower Lake is lush, heady electro-pop. Aloe vera for our dried-out hearts. Sweeping melodies and understated yet complex soundscapes. These songs are open doors to a relationship: two people who know each other about as well as two humans can, singing to the other, about each other, offering a brave and heartfelt depiction of the territories they have survived and navigated together. It’s all here: intimacy and distance, heartbreak and ecstasy. Vulnerability, insecurity and courage.

1. What have you been working to promote lately?

It feels like I have been working on promoting a lot lately (internally and externally). Things like honesty, clear communication, empathy, patience, naming emotions, opening my heart, peace in my family, etc, etc.

But that’s not quite what we are talking about. ;)

I have been working alongside my husband to promote our EP Three Truths as well as an exhibit of our multi-media work at the Torosiete museum of contemporary art - a virtual museum unlike any other. Our exhibit just opened at the end of October and will be open for all of time - as long as there is internet.

Our EP Three Truths consists of three songs, Heart is Breaking, Baby Don’t Go, and Brave. The first two were written when we had super young kids (about 8 years ago).

When we were first considering releasing some songs this past May, we weren’t sure which songs to begin with. We were pretty tired of Heart is Breaking and Baby Don’t Go but also felt like they were worth something, belonged together, and like they might be the beginning of a story. We figured we would see what mixing one of them would do and take it from there. We sent out Baby Don’t Go and after trying a couple different mixers, we landed on Mike Pepe through a family friend named Kelly Musgrave at Linear Management. He did his thing and we actually got inspired enough to completely redo the vocals which was pretty satisfying. I had started voice lessons several months earlier and felt like I had more to offer the song. Once the energy was back in Baby Don’t Go it was pretty exciting to see what some mixing would do to Heart is Breaking. Deciding to release those particular songs really felt like the end of a pretty challenging time. It has been nice to have them out in the world where people might be able to relate to them giving voice to an experience that is painful but also real. I don’t know how many emotions we get away with leaving unturned but I appreciate a song that can help me reflect on a feeling.

Heart is Breaking was the kind of song that was so of a moment, it didn’t feel worth it to try and enunciate the words better or change what I was unsatisfied with after hearing it mixed. I am curious whether that choice will actually impact my satisfaction long term but, so far, I have found it both surprising and amusing that putting something out into the world that is a little bit vocally unfinished doesn’t bother me at all.

As for Abel’s vocals though, they are straight from the heart. They are also his original vocals. I remember when I first heard them I felt a lot less significant as part of our musical duo. He just put it all out there and it sounds so good. Heart is Breaking speaks to the experience of wanting love even though it seems to always end in heart break. An experience that, as a young parent, felt very prevalent.

Brave to me is all in the title. My setup is such that if I want to play around on the keyboard with a feeling I’m having, I still need to pull up ProTools and title the session - even though I don’t know what I am going to play which is the case a lot. Often when I am sitting down to play music, it is to explore something in my mind and on my heart and in this case I wanted to be brave about that exploration so I titled the song Brave. Brave is about sticking around and being present to see what is true even if it is scary.

All of the songs I write are deeply personal. In the past, it has sometimes surprised me that Abel would even touch the material, considering how blatant it is but I’ve learned that I’m not the only one in the relationship that sometimes feels paradoxical and complex feelings.

Having made music together for such a long time now without releasing any of it, we are both really excited to share more of the story and more of our music. It feels like an epic tale that is still revealing itself in real time. Three Truths feels like the beginning of a bigger message - this first message being “Damn this is hard but relationship is sort of like that sometimes”.

2. Please tell us about your favorite song written, recorded or produced by another woman and why it’s meaningful to you.

Sade’s Smooth Operator. There are a lot of songs and a lot of reasons why to pick them but this one pulls me right back to a time in my life when not a lot of things were easy but at that moment, the house was warm, the whole family seemed happy and there was an abundance of food. I was maybe 5, my family was living with my great aunt and her daughters who were at least ten years older than us. We were all still getting used to living together and my family was still getting used to living in Va after moving from New Mexico. When Smooth Operator came into my awareness, it was the day after Thanksgiving and there was a bounty of leftover mashed potatoes, peas and onions in cream sauce, and stuffing that needed to be eaten. While we formed those leftovers into little balls and baked them, we were introduced to that song. I think we may have listened to the whole album a couple times through but we named our food creation after Smooth Operator and it is one of the special happy memories I have from an amazing but also pretty heavy childhood. Throughout my childhood from then on, Sade was a voice I leaned into. I remember one night my twin sister and I lay down in the dark of her empty room in middle school and listened in consecutive order through Diamond Life, Promise, Stronger Than Pride, and Love Deluxe on our tape player to the light of a big moon. One of my all time favorite nights.

Smooth Operator felt like a warning. Like watch out girls, they’re everywhere. The first song of their first album. Her voice was always my reference. I wanted my voice to sound like hers. I wanted to make songs like hers - with a point, with heart, and with a voice you want to listen to. Smooth Operator is our family anthem, made so by a moment we all recall fondly - an odd anthem perhaps but my family is as odd and as amazing as they get.

3. What does it mean to you to be a woman making music / in the music business today and do you feel a responsibility to other women to create messages and themes in your music?

Having an opportunity to use my voice as a woman at this time feels very special and important and I hope that I am doing my part in honoring the power of the feminine, and the important work of keeping it real in all my relationships at all levels.

I work to be authentic and express as clearly from my heart as I can. Making music - making art, is a way for me to connect with my emotions, my inner wisdom, a way to express those feelings, ultimately it is a way to communicate something that means something to me. I recognize that this is a potentially self indulgent process and I pray that my purpose of honoring the human experience and reminding us of our power is conveying.

It is important for me to be super honest because there are so many feelings I have felt ashamed of and wouldn’t even admit to in the past that I am now realizing are actually just part of a human experience. Honoring and expressing my truth thus far has been a thousand times more empowering than the results have been of hiding from my truth as a result of believing I should be ashamed of my feelings and for believing in my worth - what I know is true in my heart. Denial of my truth has wreaked havoc in my life and it isn’t worth another moment of time to feed or encourage such disempowering paradigms.

I recognize that we all have a lot to heal from and a lot of healing work to do individually and collectively. I think a large part of that healing work is around being brave enough to honor our feelings, identifying their source, and getting empowered to speak/know/honor our truth - a truth that is both unique and valid.

Perhaps if we are able to honor ourselves in this way, we will be able to hear each others’ truths with compassion, recognizing ourselves in each other's struggles.

A big step for me in my healing journey has been accepting and being willing to hear and honor my own truth. No more wars - internal or external. When I am not fighting myself, I am one less person who is fighting themselves and that is extremely motivating. I think all of my fighting ultimately comes from internal conflicts so I might as well start with that and find some way to work that stuff out. I have been working on not making other people the bad guy but, if I see ‘bad guy’ out there in the world, to note that I see a reflection of parts of myself I still am in a healing process with.

I am not sure what the depths of our world’s healing will entail but I know my responsibility is to my own healing and it is empowering to own that responsibility. I pray we all honor ourselves like the magnificent and unique creations we are and honor ourselves like we are somebody’s child who adores us. Even if we can argue that our parents did not or do not love us, there is still and always will be immense love for each of us in the vast universe and from our mama earth. We are worthy of our best life. In fact. I think it is the only sustainable future.

My responsibility is to honor and stay true to my truth.

4. What is the most personal thing you have shared in your music or in your artist brand as it relates to being female?

All of the songs I write are extremely personal and expose my deep internal struggles. But I am okay with being a voice and a sound. Being an image has not been easy. Learning to embrace my face, my body, my movement, my inner style, etc, feels much more exposing and personally challenging. The entire world of what is sexy, what is beautiful, what is inspiring, what is useful, etc. has been out of reach for me since forever. I find that the more I turn toward my spiritual truth, my spiritual purpose, toward awe and gratitude for the children in my life, the more permission I have and the more energy I have for exposing my physical person on a true and personal level. What feels beautiful, what feels empowering, what feels good and right?

I have in the past, been absolutely disempowered around beauty and sex that I feel like only now am I getting access to any answers internally about what is beautiful, empowering and what feels good for me. I am a mother and it is important to me that the children in my life have examples of real women and men in their lives who are empowered and strong and honest- not because of our physical form but because of our clarity in purpose and our open hearts.

I know the sexiest thing a person can do in my heart/ mind is their inner work, get straight with themselves about what they are doing here and live and breathe their purpose.

On the level of the eye, I think playing with what my spiritual guides have to say to me at any given moment feels the most appropriate and fun. I’d rather be in a conversation with them about physical expression than with old paradigms of sex appeal and survival on this physical plain.

5. What female artists have inspired you and influenced you?

Oh my goodness, So many. I really believe that the unapologetic art of all women throughout time has molded me as part of the collective creative conscience. Art begets art.

I come from a family of bohemian artists and I would be remiss in not honoring them particularly and their absolute influence in my life. Their authentic expressions have absolutely shaped and inspired me and I am so grateful to each of my family members for their conscious participation in living their best lives.

My highschool teacher and friend Zap McConnel reinforced and added to what my family already inspires in me. She was my first real mentor and example outside of my family in living a life of integrity and breaking the molds of our boxed beliefs.

And Beatrice Ost. She has been part of my family for a long time but it really wasn’t until her grandchildren connected with our kids that we became better acquainted and, just as kids tend to do, through our children we have been led into a most beautiful and inspiring relationship of collaboration and inspiration. We wouldn’t be where we are now without her and really everyone in the world. The ripples are real.

6. Do you consider yourself a feminist? If so why and if not why?

I consider myself a feminist because I believe in the unique and essential wisdom of the feminine and its absolute importance in the balance of life. I could also consider myself a divine masculinist but that movement is really in conjunction with the healing of the divine feminine. It is for all of us to heal from this woundedness - not just women.

There is no denying that women have been oppressed for millenia - longer than any other human group except children - and it feels important to me to keep raising the collective awareness to the long lasting effects of oppression that continue to weigh on the lives of everyone. If mama is oppressed, everyone is oppressed because if mama is oppressed she does not have the power she needs to stand up for what she knows in the depths of her heart - to care for the hearts of her family and that kind of pain and injury is passed down a long way.

I have been considering the narrative of our media history around witches - how they have been conveyed so terribly in our social history. I am interested in those stories from the witches’ perspectives. I’d love to hear the backstory of Ursula the deep sea witch in The Little Mermaid. It seems to me that she may have wanted to say something to someone… An easily identifiable sentiment for most human beings at this point. There can be no more pretending how much we have all suffered because of fear and domination. I don’t think we need to gender specify suffering generally but just like with race, it is true that there are some significant stereo types that have been disempowering for a long time.

We are still living in the antiquated world of shame about menstrual cycles for God’s sake! It’s bonkers. I can attest that this particular gift has felt like a burden in this worn out world of 9-5 schedules and limited sick days and - if any - and our basic needs for survival are not cared for enough so that we don't even know this immense gift as an honor. But as we each recognize our person as an immense gift and when we honor ourselves and each other as such, we change the world.

I am a feminist and a masculinist because I strongly believe that each of us as individuals needs to feel empowered as part of something larger than just our individual egos. Each of us is essential and honoring our unique gifts will and does heal our world in deep and profound ways. Each of us knows something, has a purpose here that needs to be respected by everyone. Men and women both would benefit from honoring the feminine in all that is and vice versa. It is a balance and as long as the balance is off there will be a need for feminism. And just as much there is a need for honoring the divine masculine. It truly is a matter of balance - one that needs support internally and externally as individuals and as a collective.

7. What was the most challenging thing you have had to face as a female Artist?

The most challenging thing I have had to face as a creative being is myself. My own pride and jealousy, self doubt, and a need for external approval have kept me from taking risks, whether it is going into action or taking a nap. Everything I did or didn’t do was based on what I thought somebody else might think which gave me very little room for actual self expression. Giving myself permission to exist independently of other people’s approval and trusting the creative flow has been a matter of challenging oppressive systems - both external and the ones and the ones in my head that I have defended as part of a fear based world. As I continue to grow wiser and my body becomes more of an ally for my heart rather than a sculpture project, I find myself in battle with old paradigms around self image.

It is an interesting time to be alive and I have lots of hope for us as a collective as I continue to break my own belief systems because if I can do it, it can be done. Breaking out of old and limiting beliefs, considering new paradigms, recognizing my inner/outer calling and prioritizing that calling beyond all else has been liberating and empowering. My dream is that all our dreams come true. I know my heart is based in love and that all the struggle has been for learning. This knowledge has helped me come to terms with trauma but I would say I think oppression is systemic and the more we can break free of our own excuses and reasoning to defend oppressive systems, the more swiftly and easily we will transition to a new world. I am more than happy to be inviting in a paradigm of inclusivity, kindness, inquiry, compassion, and honesty. An undeniable breath of fresh air from so many oppressive paradigms past and present.

Listen to “Three Truths”

Connect with Red Flower Lake online via:

https://www.redflowerlake.com/

https://www.instagram.com/redflowerlake/

https://www.facebook.com/redflowerlake

https://twitter.com/RedFlowerLake

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zdbztumble · 4 years ago

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GUNDAM WING review

For how much of it appears on this blog, Pokemon is more “comfort food” entertainment than a great passion of mine, and the same was true when I was a child. Back in my late grade school days, the two shows that dominated my thought, my viewing schedule, my play and my early writing were Dragon Ball Z and Gundam Wing. Like a lot of kids, I can thank Toonami for that. But while I’ve checked in on Dragon Ball, off and on, since those days, I haven’t seriously revisited Gundam Wing since it left Toonami years ago. Sharing OPs with a friend on Discord led to the Wing openings coming up, however, and with the series being free to view on Crunchyroll, I thought I’d give it a rewatch.

There’s no subtle way to put this - Gundam Wing does not hold up to my childhood memories. It’s a mess of a show that frequently falls short of its own ambition. But it remains an enjoyable - even admirable - mess.

The single biggest reason that Gundam Wing is such a mess - the single biggest reason for nearly all of its flaws - is that it’s too short. At 49 episodes (two of which are given over to a clip show recap halfway through), the show isn’t long enough to contain all the story it wants to tell. By way of demonstration, and for those who don’t know/remember the series, I tried to summarize the basic plot of the series in just a few paragraphs here.

Look at that. Look at all that text in a basic outline. That was me paring away all but the most essential details needed to understand what happens in the series. Now imagine trying to fit all of that into 47 episodes while also including character interaction and development, action sequences, aesthetic elements, and a good chunk of essential information being revealed via backstory and vague insinuations only fleshed out in the OVA and manga series.

Things start out promisingly enough, with the action beginning on Operation Meteor and the initial conflict emerging gradually. But it doesn’t take long for the brevity of the series to work against the intrigues happening within it. To say that the show falls into “tell, don’t show” would suggest that it gets across more information than it actually does. Narration opens most episodes with some degree of recap, and occasionally within episodes, but this device is established from the first episode and is usually effectively used in the context of ongoing action. The problem spots are where the show neglects to tell or show almost anything.

Because the series is so short, and because all screentime is spent with either the series leads or the major supporting characters, there’s never an opportunity to showcase the state of world and colonial affairs, and little opportunity taken to describe them outside of the opening narration. Consequently, any feeling of oppression, subjugation, or desperation for the colonies - and thus, a sense of what the Gundams are fighting for - isn’t present at the beginning of the series, and doesn’t ever really emerge. There is some sense of danger towards the end of the series, but it results from the various conflicts that happen within the show, not the state of affairs from the initial premise. Earth’s condition is similarly underdeveloped; if anything is showcased on Earth, it’s beauty. Characters will occasionally talk about the desperate straits of the Gundam pilots, and the pilots themselves will take developments like the targeting of the colonies or their betrayal to heart. The VAs and the animation are strong enough to sell such developments, but the lack of world-building to support them does hurt the series.

But it’s the developments around the Sanc Kingdom and Relena’s relevance to the story suffer the most from the show’s failure to show or tell. After Zechs liberates the kingdom, Relena’s installation as its ruler is set up but never depicted. Relena’s outreach to other nations, and her building up support for total pacifism, is also never shown, and barely discussed. She and Zechs are never even seen to have a conversation until near the very end of the series. There’s plenty of discussion of how inspiring and charismatic Relena is, and why she should be heeded and protected, but with none of the work behind that charisma shown and little of it discussed in detail, there’s little emotional resonance to be had here. Relena’s efforts as queen of the world are slightly more fleshed out, but when Zech’s declaration of war against Earth happens in the same episode - happens, if memory serves, less than a second after Relena makes significant inroads - the notion of Relena as an effective spokeswoman for pacifism is severely undercut by the series’ own haste.

Beyond the plot, all of this naturally damages Relena’s character. Relena begins the series as a somewhat bratty, somewhat depressed girl often neglected by her family due to her stepfather’s job, who finds Heero’s sudden presence in her life a vicarious if dangerous thrill. The murder of her stepfather and the revelation of her true identity further shake her out of teenage ennui and move her to take part in the great events of her time. Like the show itself, it’s a promising beginning, but because Relena’s greatest achievements are glossed over - and because, being a pacifist and a diplomat, she can’t be involved at the point of action - Relena ends up spending a lot of time on the sidelines, looking grim or worried. Worse, when the final conflict between Treize and White Fang emerges, Relena is completely ineffectual at trying for peace with Zechs, and any opportunity for her to use the soft power of her (brief) reign as ceremonial monarch to further the cause of peace isn’t taken, leaving her largely irrelevant to the finale. Relena is less a full-fledged character in Gundam Wing than a solid concept for a character that couldn’t grow to fruition in the time allotted.

The same could be said of the series protagonist, Heero Yuy. In his case, there is at least a bit more told; his scientist mentor describes him as a kind-hearted young man whose devotion to his mission has rendered him a dangerous assassin, Relena instinctively latches onto what kindness and idealism she can sense in him, various characters are inspired by his skills and his devotion to his mission. But there’s little to no evidence of the kind-hearted young man underneath the child soldier, at least not in the initial episodes. We only see the cold-blooded Gundam pilot, and that pilot has the worst starting luck out of any of them, from his Gundam being brought down to his attempts to destroy it failing. His willingness - even eagerness - to die for his cause comes up so often in the beginning of the series that it ends up losing its punch. But being the series lead, and getting more screentime by dint of being a Gundam pilot, Heero does ultimately get fleshed out more than Relena. His remorse over inadvertently killing the Alliance pacifists and his blunt but pragmatic advice to the other Gundam pilots do let his softer side emerge later on. His struggle to find a reason to keep going in the fight in the middle of the series - something multiple characters go through - is rather muddled (not helped by some obtuse and stilted dialogue, another major fault in the series), but he comes out of that mess resolved to protect Relena and defeat White Fang - so much so that he not only unites with the other pilots, but designates Quatre Raberba Winner as their leader instead of himself because he recognizes what’s best for the team. The series ultimately benefits from his being the main character because of developments like this, but the journey is more awkward and choppy than it needed to be, and his romance with Relena and rivalry with Zechs are never fully convincing even if their basic mutual interest in one another is.

Stilted dialogue more than absent material is what most works against series antagonists Zechs and Treize, though Zechs’s lack of scenes with his sister and an abrupt jump from Sanc Kingdom spokesman to genocidal avenger are an issue. The philosophical notions that pepper Zechs’s and Treize’s monologues and conversations - the nature of war, the value of soldiers’ sacrifice, mankind’s natural proclivities, the possibility of peace and what it would take to achieve it - are all fascinating, and I’m still amazed that a show that spent so much time on these subjects was put in an afterschool block bound to attract younger kids back in the day. But for every speech that’s thought-provoking and emotionally resonant, there are three that are a chore to sit through and a puzzle to comprehend. Granted, the Crunchyroll subtitles for this series aren’t the best, so that may partly explain and excuse this problem. But especially in the middle of the series, where allegiances shift and motivations collapse, having the principle antagonists be so difficult to understand isn’t ideal.

Then there are the plot holes - mostly characters who somehow survived apparent deaths with little to no explanation - and characters who just don’t work. One of them is unfortunately a Gundam pilot - Chang Wu Fei, an arrogant misogynist wrapped up in his own ideals of combat who resists any teamwork or even temporary alliances with his fellow Gundams until the very end of the series, and is an unreliable partner even then. None of this would make him a bad character - one hardly needs to be likable or relatable to be an effective and compelling presence in a story - but Wu Fei has virtually no chemistry with the other Gundams, or any character, when actually does interact with them, except for ex-Alliance soldier Sally Po. His standoffishness and stoicism are traits shared by Heero and Trowa Barton, making his seem redundant, and his professed ideals of combat are muddled by bad dialogue. His great rivalry with Treize is also on shaky ground; they only interact twice in the entire series. But Wu Fei is at least comprehensible; Dorothy Catalonia, a Romefeller spy who takes an almost sexual delight in war, is not only obnoxious and intrusive when she appears in the second half of the series, but her motivations seem to swing wildly, her allegiances impossible to follow, and I sorely wish she had died by the end of the series.

With all of those faults laid bare - I did say the show was enjoyable and admirable in spite of everything, and indeed it is. Wu Fei may be redundant and Heero only a partial success as a character, but the other three Gundam pilots are well-realized, so much so that I’m baffled to see various critiques of this show imply that they’re static and one-note. Duo Maxwell is essentially the same person at the end of the series as he was at the beginning, but he’s a wonderful source of levity in the series, and he does have his trials and his low points that contrast well with his typical personality; his moments of anger and despair are some of the best in the series for selling the stakes of the conflict in the absence of proper world-building. Trowa, while much less emotive, goes through a significant journey, with his sibling-esque relationship with circus performer Catherine far more emotionally satisfying than either the Peacecrafts’ bond or Heero and Relena’s romance.

And then there’s Quatre, my new favorite character from this series. I didn’t take a great deal of notice of him as a kid, but rediscovering his story has been my favorite thing about this rewatch. A bright, gentle, and friendly personality, disdainful of violence but prepared to fight for a worthy cause, driven to despair and madness by the loss of his father and the ZERO system, only to emerge as the repentant leader of the Gundams, instrumental in bringing them together as a unit and binding them to Relena’s ideals; of all the pilots, he sees the most growth and change, and all the essentials to his story actually make it on screen. He also has the allegiance of the Maganac Corps, a group that doesn’t have a great deal of importance to the series...but they do have a cool name and cooler mobile suits.

And if Relena is somewhat lacking as a female lead, Gundam Wing does have Sally Po, military doctor turned guerrilla fighter and stalwart Gundam ally, and Lucrezia Noin. For a character that could easily have just been Zech’s love interest, Noin sees a degree of growth throughout the series to rival Quatre’s, moving from OZ instructor to Sanc Kingdom defense captain to the instigator of the Gundams as a unit, working to defeat the man she loves. The show also avoids sexualizing any of its female cast, so - a point for that, I guess.

The designs of the Gundams are all unique (as are their abilities), and some are downright beautiful. The other mobile suits are varied as well and easy to identify, making combat easy to follow. The quality of the combat - and the animation in general - is hit and miss, but it’s never atrocious, and when it’s solid, the end result is some great shots and action. The series also boasts a fantastic soundtrack, with lovely instrumental themes and two great opening songs (though why “Rhythm Emotion” was brought in with only ten episodes left to go on the series still baffles me.)

All this contributes to Gundam Wing being enjoyable, but what makes it admirable is actually the stilted dialogue and overstuffed story that bring it down. To attempt a series that ruminates on the nature of war and the various philosophical positions around its necessity or lack thereof, of the chances for real peace, for the evolution of humanity if were to move into the stars, and the interpersonal conflicts between various characters, would be a tall order for any series, and not the easiest thing to make into visually compelling animation. That Gundam Wing made the attempt at all shows ambition and aspiration on the part of its writers and staff. As I’ve said at length here, it was frustrated by its short running time and the weaknesses of story elements and characters, but an ambitious mixed bag - even a failure - that aims high is a much more admirable (and interesting to watch) affair than a success that aims low.

And, in its failures to get certain elements across, Gundam Wing shows enough of what it was trying to do that I, at least, can forgive some (not all) rough patches. Characters like Heero and conflicts like the Gundams’ basic fight for the colonies still work despite their flaws. And the final run of episodes, where White Fang and Treize clash and the Gundams work around the battle to save the day, are incredibly strong. It’s a finale that surpasses much of the content preceding it, and if it would’ve been improved by that content being better, it still works because the intent of that earlier content can still be perceived.

I’ve thoroughly enjoyed rediscovering Gundam Wing, and I’d like to check out the dub again when I’m in a position to renew my Hulu subscription. For now, though - there’s a certain waltz to attend to...

#critique #review #Gundam Wing #film school training at work #commentary #z's crits

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etherealwaifgoddess · 5 years ago

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More Time - Chpt.17

Summary: Emma and Steve are both devoted to helping Bucky recover from his injury though the process is slow going. The guys finally admit their feelings to Emma and make her an offer she can’t refuse. Then her decision sets her life on a course she never could have imagined. Master list can be found HERE.

Warnings / Content: Fluff and feels all the way :)

Word Count: 2.9k

Author’s Note: Hello lovelies! So this chapter has the scene that started the whole fic. I had a dream one morning a few months ago of being bed with Bucky who was trying to distract me while Steve was trying to sketch me. It was so freaking clear and vivid that I knew I wanted to write it, and the more I laid in bed and daydreamed, this whole little world came together. We only have one chapter left too! The final chapter AND the epilogue will be posted tomorrow evening around this time. And then I will be taking a much needed hiatus for a week! In the mean time, enjoy this penultimate chapter! XOXO - Ash

Chapter Seventeen

It was three weeks before the news finally started dying down. Bucky was getting around much easier on his crutches but still needed help with some things. Emma had returned to work part time but still spent every night at the guy’s apartment. She had used up every last day of her paid time off but didn’t regret a second of it. Steve was back on schedule with his appointments and had adjusted his hours at the VA so that someone was always home with Bucky. Though Emma still went back to her apartment for things from time to time she had started referring to their place as “home” without even realizing she was doing it. Bucky and Steve both knew she had effectively moved in and they were more than pleased with that development. They wanted to officially ask her but she seemed so content with things as they were, they were afraid of rocking the boat. Eventually Bucky had made Steve promise that they would ask her the next time the opportunity presented itself.

Bucky had pushed himself too hard the previous day when he’d insisted he was up to walking to the coffee shop for breakfast. It was only half a block away but it was the furthest he’d gone in weeks and had proved to be a little too much. He paid for it dearly for the rest of the day, and the following morning he was still stiff. Emma insisted he stay in bed for breakfast and Steve curled up with him to make sure he stayed put. She didn’t make anything fancy, just bagel sandwiches and coffee so that they could eat while still nestled in their big, overly soft bed. The morning sun was shining in the room, bathing it in a golden glow that made Steve restless until he got out his sketch pad. He needed to capture the way Emma looked in that moment before it was gone. Bucky watched with amusement, remembering all the times Steve had convinced him to model for him.

It took a few adjustments but once Steve got Emma where he wanted her he started drawing at lightning speed. Emma was laying on her stomach, head cradled on one arm with her hair spilling out around her. She was in just her sleep shirt with her bare legs crossed up in the air behind her. It wasn’t the most comfortable position to hold without moving for minutes on end but she did her best to hold still. Until Bucky intervened. He couldn’t roll around much because of the cast but he was able to stretch just enough to tickle the sole of one foot when she stretched for a moment. Emma squealed and wiggled away while Steve pleaded for them to behave so he could finish. Bucky held up his hands placatingly, retreating back to the head of the bed. He could tell Steve was almost done a few minutes later when he kept glancing up and making random little adjustments. Bucky decided Steve had seen enough and with a great flop he flailed himself forward, landing right next to Emma who he attacked with tickles. Steve grumbled, setting down his sketch pad while Emma screamed for mercy. Not willing to miss out on the fun, Steve pounced as delicately as he could on Bucky while avoiding his cast. Bucky liked to say he wasn’t ticklish but Steve knew better. There were two small spots, one on each side of his torso, on one particular rib, that if hit just right made him howl. After skittering his long fingers along Bucky for a moment he found it and Bucky rolled into a ball the best he could with the cast, yelling at Steve to take it easy on the cripple. Emma was hysterical watching them, relieved to have a moment to catch her breath.

The chiming of Emma’s phone interrupted their fun and she groaned as she turned off the alarm. “I don’t wanna go.” She lamented, clutching the phone to her chest. She was being dramatic, she knew, but having to go to work and leave the guys in bed was practically torture.

Bucky exchanged a look with Steve before speaking. “What if you didn’t have to?”

Emma rolled her eyes, “Oh sure, I’ll be sure to grab a lotto ticket on my way in.”

“No, I’m serious.”

Emma sat up to look at Bucky with wary eyes, “What do mean?”

“You love art, it’s why you got your degree in it. You should be doing something in your field.”

It was hard not to bristle at being told what she should be doing with her life but Emma bit back the snarky response she wanted to give. Choosing instead to just be realistic, “That would be great but nowhere that’s hiring can offer me enough to go full time and still manage to live in the city. I have bills, Bucky.”

“That’s what I’m saying. What if you didn’t have to worry about all those bills? What if you could just take a job at a gallery and work your way up from there?”

“I won’t take your money.” that Emma did bristle at.

Steve, knowing he’d feel the same in her shoes, jumped in to clarify, “We’re not offering you money, doll. We want you to live with us. You’re here every day now and most of your clothes are here too. After Buck got hurt you basically moved in, it’s just a matter of logistics.”

“I didn’t realize...” Emma was quiet a moment, she knew he was right and a pang of guilt hit her, “I didn’t mean to take advantage of you guys, it just kind of happened.”

“You didn't take advantage.” Steve assured her, “We want you here. And if you were actually living here you wouldn’t have to worry about rent or utilities and you could take a job at a gallery.”

“I’m not going to just move in and mooch off of you. I’d have to be able to contribute.”

“You can help with groceries sometimes but you should focus on your student loans first since you’re not finished paying them.”

“It still doesn’t seem fair.”

“Well, it doesn’t feel fair to us that you have this huge debt hanging over your head that you really didn’t have a choice in taking out so you could get an education. But, since we know you won’t let us pay it off, you can put your money towards paying it off faster yourself.”

Emma was floundering her way through pros and cons, refusing to let herself get carried away at the idea of living with the guys. “But what if… what if things… don’t work out? I can’t do that to you guys.”

Bucky gave her a sad smile, he knew she was worried about their well being just as much as her own. “We love you, darlin’, how could it not work out?”

“What?” she squeaked out, not having expected that answer in a million years.

Bucky hauled himself up so he could pull her in against his chest, “I love you.” he told her earnestly.

Steve took her free hand, rubbing his thumb over hand soothingly, “I love you too. We both do, and we want you to move in with us. Not because it’s convenient, not because you have more socks in this apartment than we do, but because we want to share our lives with you.”

“Oh.” Emma squeaked out between tears. The guys were quick to wipe them away from her face, waiting with baited breath for her response. “Okay. Let’s do it. I love you too, both of you, so much.”

Steve and Bucky enveloped her in a hug, holding her close while tears turned to giggles and then sweet chaste kisses and a few more happy tears.

Emma was fifteen minutes late to work and gave her two weeks notice that very day.

The places hiring in the city varied from large world renowned art collectives to small hipster galleries who only featured up and coming artists of one scene or another. Emma saw the allure of both types of places and applied everywhere that looked even remotely interesting. She got a few offers her first week, none that really felt right and one that was completely unpaid. The second week, panic was starting to set in. She was down to her last three shifts at the bar and had two more weeks on her apartment lease. Emma knew the guys wouldn’t push her to take a job for the sake of taking a job but she didn’t want to be out of work long. Her savings had dwindled a bit when she was down to part time while Bucky recovered but she had enough for another month with no pay if it came to it. She really hoped it wouldn’t though.

Emma was chatting with a group of Friday night regulars, it would be her last shift seeing them, Sunday being her last day. Her phone buzzed angrily in her back pocket and she waited for it to die down but it persisted like a hive of bees. A call then, not a text. She pulled her phone out, trying to catch the call in time but it went to voicemail right as she swiped frantically to accept it. The number was unfamiliar and she hoped it was a gallery with a new offer instead of someone offering a timeshare sales pitch. Two agonizing minutes later a voicemail notification flashed and Emma excused herself for a minute to dart out back to listen to the message.

Hi Emma, this Pepper Potts. Steve and Bucky’s friend. Steve mentioned that you were looking for a job in an art gallery in the city and I was hoping to talk to you about that. I might know of an opening you would be perfect for. Give me a call back when you get a chance. Thanks, bye.

Emma stared blankly at her phone for a moment, dumbfounded. Pepper Potts, a friend of Steve and Bucky’s. Not Pepper Potts, famous, multi-billionaire, savvy business woman who Time had made woman of the year twice now. Emma blinked a few times, still getting her head around the seemingly causal call. She had to call her back, it would be rude not to. But what were the guys thinking not warning her that this could happen? And why would Steve, of all people, who railed against the evils of nepotism and the whole “it’s who you know” side of politics, try to have a friend give her a job. Well, she could at least give the woman a call back. Taking a steadying breath Emma dialed.

“Hello?” a cheerful, but slightly frazzled, voice answered.

“Hi, Ms. Potts? This is Emma. Steve and Bucky’s… umm…” Emma trailed off. What was she anyway? Girlfriend, partner, lady friend? Emma added that to the mental list of discussion topics for when she got home. Meanwhile, she sounded like an idiot.

“Oh, Emma!” Pepper chirped, saving her from further fumbling. “Thanks for calling me back.”

“Of course. I don’t know what Steve told you but I’m just looking for entry level jobs at a few galleries around Brooklyn right now.”

“Mhmm. Yeah, he mentioned - ohGodnotagain - sorry, can you hold on a minute Emma?”

Emma didn’t even get out a “yes” before she heard Pepper yelling “Morgan H. Stark!” followed by the sound of a crash in the background. There was a moment of hushed scolding and then a child crying and whining unintelligibly.

Pepper came back to the phone with a long sigh. “Sorry about that. Every time I turn my back Morgan is taking a screwdriver to something trying to see how it’s insides work.”

Emma bit back a laugh, “What was it this time?”

“The roomba. She’s only five but I swear she’s just a miniature version of her father.”

“Sounds like you have your hands full.”

“And then some. Now, about the job. It’s not too far away, still in Brooklyn, it’s a nonprofit gallery where they feature up and coming artists who need help getting some exposure. We need a gallery assistant to start as soon as possible.”

“We?”

“Yeah, I’m on the board of directors there. When Steve gave me your resume I hugged him. The timing is perfect and I think you’d be a great fit.”

“What’s the name of the gallery? Maybe I’ve already applied.”

“The Hideaway. We haven’t listed the job yet though.”

Emma swallowed roughly. She knew of the gallery in one of Brooklyn’s trendier, more affluent neighborhoods. It was known for being the starting place for many well known modern artists. “Pepper, really I’m just looking to get my foot in the door to gain experience. I appreciate the offer but…”

“But what? You can get experience anywhere, come do it with us. How about this, let me stop by the guys apartment tomorrow and we can look at the portfolio of artists we have right now. Give you an idea of what we’re about? If you don’t want the job it’s fine, but at least take a look. I’ll bring brunch?”

Emma shook her head, she was going to wring Steve Roger’s neck for this. “Okay, I’ll take a look.”

“Great! I’ll come over tomorrow around ten thirty?”

“We’ll be home.”

“Okay, I’ll see you then.”

Emma hung up, torn between stunned and angry. She wasn’t taking a pity job at Steve’s friend’s gallery. He should have known her better than this. It was tempting to text him, vent some of her frustrations before she got home, but instead she tucked her phone away and went back out to the bustling bar where she could distract herself for a few hours.

It was a little past eleven when Emma finally dragged herself into the apartment. She was not going to miss the exhaustion of a ten hour shift bartending. Steve was perched on one end of the sofa, glasses slipping down his nose while he read a book. Bucky was laying across the other two seats, his head nestled on Steve’s lap. They looked so sleepy and sweet, she wanted to join them but she had a bone to pick first.

“You have some explaining to do.” Emma announced, setting her purse down on the breakfast bar.

Steve looked back with wide eyes, pushing his glasses up a little, “What?” He sounded guilty too quickly. He knew.

“Oh, I think you know. Let’s see if you can guess who called me at work tonight? It’s a friend of yours.”

Steve gulped, “Sam?”

“Don’t play cute, Rogers. Why would you try to get me a pity job?”

“I didn’t think-”

“Oh damn right you didn’t think. Do you know how that feels, Steve? I can get my own job! I know we’re cutting things close but I still have applications out there and if worse comes to worse I can call back one of the places that was interested and just take one of those until something better comes up.”

Steve opened and closed his mouth a few times like a fish, a torn expression on his face.

Bucky, who was woken by their tiff, cleared his throat. “We know you can, darlin’. And we’re gonna be proud as hell when you find the right job. No matter how long that takes. Don’t take some job you’ll hate just because it’s there, that’s why you quit Matty’s.”

Emma shook her head, “I can’t just take a job I’m not qualified for because you’re friends with one of the directors.”

“You’re not.” Bucky countered, “Steve mentioned it to Pepper because she asked how you were doing when they were talking this morning. It was a friendly call, that’s all. Pepper asked for your resume to see if she could throw out some feelers in the community for you. We didn’t know she was going to offer you a job.”

Deflating a little, Emma scrubbed at her face. Annoyance turning onto herself for biting Steve’s head off. “I’m sorry Steve,” she mumbled “I’m an asshole.”

Steve gave her a wry smile, knowing all too well the chagrin of putting his foot in his mouth. “Hear that, Buck?” he poked Bucky in the side, “I’m not the asshole this time.”

Bucky rolled his eyes, “You’re always the asshole, punk.”

“Yeah, but you love me.”

“God help us all.”

xxXxx

Pepper arrived the next morning with arms weighed down by a large leather tote on one arm and take out bags on the other. “I didn’t know what to get so I got everything.” she huffed out, setting her stuff down on the living room table.

Bucky was sprawled out on the sofa watching yet another episode of How It’s Made because “Did you see it Steve? Who would have thought it was all in one tube like that?” He had been hooked on the show for months and Steve didn’t have the heart to make him pick something else. It reminded him of Bucky before the war, always so curious and eager to learn. Bucky did have the decency to turn off the TV and slide up so he was mostly sitting, making room for Steve and Emma while Pepper set up. Steve popped out from his studio and started rifling through boxes of take out before Pepper could even set them down on the table.

“Thank you so much for bringing all this.” Emma told her, trying to play hostess since the guys were lost in the array of breakfast foods.

Pepper swatted Bucky’s hand away from a box of frittata, “Mine,” she practically hissed at him before turning to Emma with a smile, “No problem! I’m glad you were willing to at least look at the portfolio from The Hideaway.”

Brunch was a mostly quiet affair. The food was plentiful and delicious, Pepper having impeccable taste in restaurants, as usual. Between bites of eggs benedict and maple pecan french toast, Steve and Bucky got updates from Pepper on a few things going on with the training program at the Avengers Compound. Steve huffed when she mentioned him coming out to speak to the new trainees. He still wasn't convinced they would want to hear from him since he no longer wore the mantle of Captain America; regardless of how many times Bucky told him that it’s a lifetime title, like being President. Emma agreed with Bucky but Steve forced a change in topics before she could do more than chime in with a “he’s right”.

Steve offered to clean up the disaster on the living room table so Pepper and Emma could go over the portfolio binder for the gallery. Not wanting to be a distraction, Bucky politely escaped to the bedroom. Forty five minutes later Emma had to admit she was impressed. More than impressed, really. The Hideaway was the exact type of gallery she wanted to be a part of. Pepper gushed about the current team and how lucky they were to have such a tight knit group. It was a dream job but Emma was still waiting for the other shoe to drop.

“You don’t have to decide anything today. I can hold off posting the job publicly until Monday.” Pepper offered.

Emma considered it for a minute, still unsure. “I really am tempted. It’s an amazing opportunity.”

“You would be such a perfect fit for the team. I can see you thriving there.”

“Me too but, Pepper I gotta be honest; would you be offering me this job if my application came through with the swarm of others?”

“It would depend.” Pepper was direct, “If it came along with other equally educated and experienced people, then yes. And then for sure the interview would have sealed it. If it had come over with a batch of people more qualified and well suited, then possibly not.”

“Thank you for that.” Emma was relieved by the honesty in Pepper’s answer, “I’ll think about it and let you know by tomorrow night.”

“Perfect.” Pepper smiled widely like she already knew it was a done deal. Emma thought it was too but she really needed to weigh things out before she jumped in with both feet.

After Pepper headed home, Emma joined Bucky in bed where he was reading a new copy of National Geographic. She figured that she might as well be comfortable while she made her mental pro and con list. Steve joined them after a little while, snuggling his way in between the two of them.

“Have you decided then?” Steve asked Emma, throwing an arm around her waist.

Emma groaned, “Yes and no.”

“You want to take it, don’t you?”

“Yeah, so badly. But...”

“It seems too good to be true?” Bucky butted in.

“Yeah, it does. It’s the perfect opportunity. Great work environment, paid vacation and sick days, benefits, and holy shit pay bump.”

“I seem to remember you stressing over something else that seemed too good to be true a few months ago.” Steve teased.

Bucky nodded along in agreement, “And look how well this turned out.”

“I love you.” Emma kissed Bucky and then Steve in turn. “I think I’m going to take it. But,”

“No buts!” Steve exclaimed.

Emma rolled her eyes and continued unphased, “But, I want you to seriously consider giving a few talks at the compound. You would be such a good example for these kids, Steve.”

“What’s the point? Who’s going to listen to the guy that can’t raise his voice without risking an asthma attack? These kids are training to work with the Avengers, with some of the best mentors on the planet. They’ll be fine without listening to the ramblings of a retired old man.”

“Oh sweetheart no.” Emma wrapped herself around Steve, pulling him close so she could run her fingers through his hair and litter kisses across his face. “You are so much more than your body. Your mind is one in a million Steve, and those kids would be damned lucky to hear anything you have to say.”

Bucky shifted himself over to curl around Steve’s other side, sandwiching him between them. “Erskine didn’t pick you for your body.” Bucky reminded him gently.

“What would I even say?” Steve relented.

“That would be entirely up to you. Just think about it, okay?” Emma pleaded.

Steve nodded in silent agreement. Thinking about it and actually doing it were two very different things. If he could actually think of something to say to a room full of twenty year olds then maybe he’d come around.

Tag list lovelies: @godofplumsandthunder @remilupin22 @supraveng @hiddles-rose

If anyone wants added or removed please lmk!

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zdbztumble · 5 years ago

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“Kingdom Hearts II” revisited: Final Thoughts

There’s an obvious logic to having the Drive Form named Final appear so late in the game, but I think it’s introduced too late. By the time I got it to trigger, the Door had already appeared, and I’d decided that there really wasn’t much left in the other worlds of the game that I wanted to do. That meant there wasn’t much opportunity to play around with the Final Form, or level it up, outside of base grinding, something I always hate doing in any game. I do like Final Form, but it should have come earlier in the game to give the player the most value.

And speaking of final - that final boss is really...lame. As in, not fun to play and not satisfying on a story level. You can say a lot about every KH game that’s come after this - and I have, and will, at considerable length - but at least each of them presents a final boss who is a primary character of that game, in a recognizable form, with (somewhat) motivated stages of transformation. Here in KH II, we have to fight buildings, blasters, reactor cores, those bomb things from the Gummi levels (which, I admit, I appreciated - bringing those into the main gameplay), the armored figure in a chair twice, and a dragon-like mecha before we finally get a shot at Xemnas as we know him (in fabulous zebra robes), in a battle full of reaction commands and triggers that seem intentionally designed to make Riku look like a badass at Sora’s expense.

None of these stages are all that hard IMO, nor are any of them that engaging. The brief section where you play as Riku is a low point for me, due to his limited moveset and trouble navigating the space. I’m not opposed to alternating which character you play as during a final boss, but the execution of the idea here is terrible. Denying any role in the final battle to Kairi and King Mickey is a bigger problem, and I actually refused to have Riku in my party until required to because of that. I’m convinced the staff behind this game want players to use him, but I say - if you’re going to ignore every possible opportunity you give yourselves to have the Destiny Islands trio together in a party, then I’m not going to play with your Creators’ Pet. (And he is exactly that. I may have softened on Riku over the years, but he - and Axel, and half the Organization - are textbook examples of a creative team letting their fondness for characters supersede what’s actually best for them in a narrative.)

Of course, the battle itself isn’t all there is to the finale, and there’s more right than wrong to the story here. For one thing, Roxas and Namine get a nice denouement, one that makes it quite clear how they feel - and what they choose - about rejoining with their original selves. As someone who was bothered by the Riku/Namine business at the end of KH III, due to memories of this game, I can concede that there isn’t a whole lot to Roxas and Namine’s relationship here. Their scenes at the beginning are emotional, and their scene at the end is sweet, but their interaction is very limited. The mere fact that they are the Nobodies of Sora and Kairi does a lot of the heavy lifting for their relationship, and that bond is strong enough - and, at this point in the series, still written well enough - to sell the idea, but only just. I daresay this is something that Days could and should have addressed, but we’ll get to that another time.

The lead-up to the final boss provides nice moments between Kairi and Riku, Sora and Kairi, Sora and Riku, and one wonderful moment between the three of them. Setting aside the fact that the whole final boss should have been a second moment for the trio, and the game’s pandering to Riku’s prowess during the fight - the scenes between Sora and Riku after defeating Xemnas are quite well-done, and very effectively illustrate how their friendship has healed and reached a new equilibrium. Even better than that, however, is the game’s final scene. From Kairi’s letter reappearing as the key to the light and the enthusiastic greetings from the Disney cast, to the last flashes of Roxas and Namine and the final exchange between Sora and Kairi (which has some of the best voice acting those two VAs have done in the entire series), it’s an absolutely beautiful finale. The bittersweet, open, and uncertain finale of KH I is still the emotional high point of the series in my eyes, and I continue to applaud the game’s staff for daring such an ending; the way KH II ends is much closer to what one probably would have expected of KH I. But the happy ending of KH II is very much an earned one, and it’s an effective cap, not just on this game, but on everything done in the series up to that point. Kairi’s past remains mysterious and Maleficent is still unaccounted for, but the chain of tragedies set off by Ansem’s research is ended, the last traces of Xehanort are defeated, the worlds are at peace, and the three friends whose lives were torn apart are finally healed, whole, and together again, ready for a new adventure.

...Or, at least that’s what should have happened.

Back when I first played Kingdom Hearts II - fresh off of KH I, unaware that CoM even existed - it was, without question, my preferred game of the two. I would’ve even called it my favorite video game of all time (which wouldn’t have meant much - even now, it’s a very short list of video games that I’ve played from beginning to end.) I would’ve said the same after the second time I played through it, even as certain nagging doubts crept into my mind. Several years and the rest of the series later, I can’t give KH II that level of praise.

Kingdom Hearts is a series where the first truly is the best, at least so far. Like CoM before it, KH II either introduces or continues trends and ideas that would bring later games down, and they all start to grate here. Elements like the secret reports and Summons lose their motivation in-story, and in the former case become a lazy way to toss out exposition that should have been part of the gameplay and cutscenes. For the first time, certain Disney worlds are saddled with stiff and uninspired re-tellings of their movie plots, devoid of room for Sora to make a difference. The pacing is uneven and it’s easy to lose sight of the main story during certain Disney worlds. Dialogue is often clunky, and fan service and pandering to Creators’ Pets hurts significant moments of the story. A lot of potential in the backstory of Roxas and the fate of Namine is left untapped. The trend of offering Kairi the will and ability to be more involved only to ignore the opportunity continues, Riku’s reintroduction to the group has issues, and Sora is caught in an awkward transition between the hero of the first came and the idiotic and ineffectual would-be messiah of later games.

With all of that said, though...I still love this game.

On paper, entries like Dream Drop Distance or KH III might’ve had greater ambition in the amount or kind of story they tried to tell, but in the actual presentation of the story, KH II is far more daring. From the prolonged opening sequence spent with a new character to the slow burn on the revelation of the Organization’s plans, KH II is quite unconventional in its story structure, and it often works to the game’s favor. Leaving so much of the year between KH I and II untold, even with CoM, is mystery done right, in a way that feels open to speculation and possibilities rather than heavy-handed teasing and baiting for spin-offs. This is the only time in the series where Maleficent and Pete make for an equal and compelling third party, and having that third force at play makes for another off-beat structural element that’s ultimately satisfying, even with the not-insignificant lag during the back half of the first Disney pass. The Organization being a collective villain rather than a single figure (even if Xemnas was its instigator) is a nice differentiation from KH I and CoM, and how pathetic the villains ultimately turn out to be gives them a nice degree of pathos - though that pathos isn’t carried too far.

While KH II is a few steps down the dark road, it hasn’t hit the abyss yet, and things that start to look problematic here are still strong overall. Some of the Disney worlds may have stiff movie recaps, but most are loose and accommodating to the larger KH story. Some may be filler, but most of them - on both passes - are at least technically connected to the main plot, and most of them - even the filler - in a meaningful and engaging way. The reports aren’t strongly motivated, but they’re not a complete crutch either. Roxas and Namine, if unfulfilled in their full potential, are still a force throughout the game (well, Roxas more than Namine) instead of being abruptly dropped.

Kairi’s denied obvious chances to get more involved, but she does get to strike out on her own and play a more active role in the story than she did in KH I. Riku’s pandered too a little too much once he reappears, but his role behind the scenes before then makes for a strong continuation of his redemption arc from R/R and is well-woven into the overall plot. Sora’s on the road to Flanderization, but he still has many of his better traits from the first game, including his greater competence at his missions and his believable, human reactions to the events around him. While he doesn’t have the arc of growth he had in KH I, or go through the deconstruction of CoM, he does have definite goals as an individual, and a pronounced sense of world-weariness as his chances of meeting those goals - finding Riku, going home, and seeing Kairi again - get further and further away.

Most of all, Kingdom Hearts II is still manageable in its story. The two sets of villains have relatively simple (but not simplistic) goals, and they’re revealed in a comprehensible fashion. More importantly, the logistics and pseudo-philosophical notions behind the villain plots don’t override the entire game, or pull focus from the protagonists. The heroes all have stories here, and if there’s an overarching theme to this game (not as clearly presented as the themes of KH I, mind you), it’s completion and resolution. If we may break them down:

Organization XIII, having made the foolish choice to discard their hearts, desperately try to escape the consequences of that choice through evil acts, only to fail and meet their ultimate end.

Roxas, who opens the game with mystery and confusion, comes to learn who he is and completes himself and Sora with his choice to surrender to his fate, something he grows to be at peace with.

Namine, having achieved a measure of peace with who and what she is, completes her tasks from the end of CoM and rejoins with her true self, after first saving Kairi and granting (most of) the heroes an escape from The World That Never Was.

Ansem the Wise, whose curiosity opened the door to everything that went wrong later, turns his back on base revenge and works to set the worlds to right, giving his own life in the process.

King Mickey, the hero who kept a deliberate watch on the state of the worlds and sounded the alert on the danger they were in, uncovers the truth about Organization XIII and plays his part to bring them to peace and finally makes it back home.

Donald and Goofy finally find their king.

Kairi, left alone with fading memories for a year, resolves to set out to find her friends, and not only achieves that goal, but facilitates their reconciliation and provides the means for them to finally return home.

Riku, after finding some measure of peace with himself in R/R, gives his all to see Sora restored and works to help him from the shadows, but fears to face his friends after his actions in KH I. When finally forced to, he learns that he hasn’t lost them, and the last of his self-doubt is discarded as he joins forces with Sora to finish off the last trace of Xehanort and make it back home.

And as for Sora, our chief hero: he is fully restored from his trials in CoM. Though eager - even desperate - to resume his search for Riku and return home, he doesn’t hesitate to start protecting the worlds again and finish off the remainder of the threat he first faced. While an authority figure presents that threat to him, Sora chooses to take it up, and carries it out without being directed or puppeted by Yen Sid at every step. The weight of the ordeals and his constant travels wear him down, the events of the year he lost (and Roxas’s role in those events) challenge him, and he does at one point refuse the call of the Keyblade (”Not yet! I have to find Kairi!”) Yet he persists in defending the worlds, even when it benefits the villains, and he fights his way to their castle to rescue and reunite with his friends. Having set out early in KH I to rescue those friends, he achieves this, finishes off the villain who turned his world upside down, and finally makes his way home to the island, the friends, and the girl he loves.

Kingdom Hearts II’s resolutions to all of these things is so final, and so satisfying, that the series since has had to ignore its finale, and a good chunk of its story, just to keep dragging things out. That’s to their detriment, but not KH II’s. While imperfect and uneven, it is a worthy sequel to the first game - the last such entry in the series - a lot of fun to play, and an ambitious and satisfying story.

And it has, to date, Kaoru Wada’s finest orchestration for the series. I absolutely adore his arrangement of Sanctuary from this game, and it makes me wish I’d kept up with the French horn every time I hear it.

#z's crits #kingdom hearts #kingdom hearts 2 #critique #commentary

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schraubd · 6 years ago

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Election 2018: How Did Anti-Semites Do?

A few days ago, Tablet Magazine published a list of eight "antisemites running for Congress". It was a good start, but woefully incomplete -- there are so many more antisemites to choose from! Moreover, it doesn't really properly gradate antisemitism (there's a huge difference between a literal Holocaust Denier and someone who's been in a room with Louis Farrakhan). So while you can read how Tablet's 8 fared here, for a more comprehensive picture this post has you covered. First, the good news: the absolutely, positively, most blatant antisemites generally did not win.

Actual Neo-Nazi Arthur Jones lost to Democratic Rep. Dan Lipinski 73-27 in Illinois' 3rd congressional district.

Jones' Holocaust-denying compatriot, John Fitzgerald, lost by a similar 72-28 margin in California's 11th district to Democratic Rep. Mark DeSaulnier.

In state legislative races, the same basically held true:

In North Carolina's 48th state house district, GOP nominee Russell Walker -- who once said Jews "descend from Satan" -- lost to Black Democratic minister Garland Pierce 63-37.

In Missouri, GOP nominee Steve West (who was disowned by his own kids) fell well short of unseating Democratic State Rep. Jon Carpenter.

Finally, in California, Maria Estrada's virulent antisemitism didn't stop her from earning an Our Revolution endorsement, but it presumably did her no favors in her D-on-D challenge to State Assembly speaker Anthony Rendon -- she lost 56-44.

The two biggest antisemites to win were both incumbents.

Open White Supremacist Rep. Steve King (R-IA), last seen telling the world that European Neo-Nazi parties would just be plain old Republicans in America, had a much closer than anticipated race against Democrat J.D. Scholten. Still, King prevailed 50-47, thus proving that there is no limit to how racist you can be if there are enough Republicans in your district.

Meanwhile, in Washington, GOP State Rep. Matt Shea -- who advocated for an American theocracy where non-Christian men are executed -- handily won reelection 58-42. Huzzah.

Now, those guys represent the worst of the worst. Most (not all) were running on the GOP line, and most (not all) lost. But the Tablet list itself evinces a clear antisemitic spectrum, and once you move past the obvious cases the story gets more complex. On Tablet's list were two definite borderline entries, for whom I think it's fair to question if they are properly called antisemitic at all (certainly, they're far further afield than some of the names further down on this list):

The case for including Indiana Rep. Andre Carson (D) appears to boil down to "he's been in a room with Farrakhan and the Iranian president", which isn't exactly on the level of denying the Holocaust. Call me jaded, but this felt very thin to me. Carson's Indiana district is gerrymandered to be reliably blue, and so it was -- Carson took his race 63-37.

Lena Epstein -- the Republican candidate in Michigan's 11th congressional district -- also has fair grounds to question her inclusion. Yes, inviting a Jews for Jesus Rabbi to eulogize the Pittsburgh victims was stupid, and insensitive, and baffling, and did I mention stupid? -- but was it antisemitic? I'm not sure. But we no longer need to expend much effort figuring it out: Epstein was soundly defeated by Democrat Haley Stevens, flipping this open GOP seat blue and I suspect signaling the last we hear of Epstein in national politics.

The next tier of antisemites comprises people who aren't really accused of saying anything antisemitic themselves, but who have endorsed antisemites or antisemitic movements.

On the Democratic side, Rep. Danny Davis (D-IL) is the poster child -- while the past few weeks might have you believe that every Democrat in the country is a Louis Farrakhan fanboy, Davis is one of the few who actually has praised the man (the NOI has a large presence in Davis' Chicago district). Davis' district is one of the bluest in the country, and he took 88% of the vote against nominal Republican opposition.

On the Republican side, Rep. Dana Rohrabacher (R-CA) endorsed a Holocaust denier for school board (and that wasn't even his only connection to the Holocaust denying set). "Putin's favorite Congressman" looks to have gone down in his toss-up race, losing narrowly to Democrat Harley Rouda.

Also falling into this category (though arguably shading into the class below) is California GOP Rep. Steve Knight, who ran an ad featuring a far-right activist notorious for antisemitic and racist online comments (Knight plead ignorance about the guy's views, but you'd think the t-shirt he was wearing in the ad -- a US flag with "infidel" stamped over it -- would be a giveaway). Knight lost his seat 51-49 to Democrat Katie Hill.

Next, we get to people who have themselves said or done antisemitic things -- albeit perhaps not as vividly as a Steve King sort.

For Republicans, George Soros is the fulcrum. Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-FL), who gave a Holocaust denier a State of the Union ticket and is a major source of Soros-related conspiracy theorizing, works as a good example. He handily won his re-election race 67-33.

Speaking of Soros, in Minnesota's 1st district, Jim Hagedorn -- who claimed that Joe Lieberman only supported the Iraq War because he was a Jew and who then cut an ad claiming his opponent was "owned" by the Jewish globalist billionaire -- looks like he will squeak out a win over Democrat Dan Feehan. If that result holds, it marks one of the few districts this cycle to flip D-to-R. It also is particularly painful for me because this is the district where my wife grew up and my in-laws still live.

And while Florida gubernatorial candidate Ron DeSantis is more well-known for the racism, he too dipped his toe in the antisemitic Soros conspiracy pool, accusing his African-American opponent, Andrew Gillum, of looking to "seed[] into our state government, you know, Soros-backed activists." DeSantis, a Republican, prevailed over Gillum by about a single point in what had been thought to be a blue-leaning race.

Two more Democratic members of Tablet's list -- Leslie Cockburn and Ilhan Omar -- fit in this category, albeit for comments that are several years or (in Cockburn's case) decades old.

Cockburn wrote a book in the early 90s that was basically a "Israel is responsible for all awful things" screed; she lost her VA-05 race to Republican Denver "bigfoot erotica" Riggelman, because America is awesome and that was really a choice. The margin was 53-47 in a race that was viewed as a decent, if not top-of-the-class, Democratic pickup opportunity.

Omar, running in Minnesota's 5th district, has come under fire for a tweet where she accused Israel of "hypnotizing" the world to prevent it from seeing its "evil". While she has seemingly moderated her views on Israel, she pointedly declined to walk back this comment or recognize how it seems to traffic in antisemitic tropes (in contrast to her 5th district predecessor, Keith Ellison, who pointedly disassociated himself from prior Farrakhan affiliations). Omar won her race by a crushing 78-21 margin.

Finally, it's worth looking at some local races where Republicans (albeit not always the Republican candidate) ran antisemitic ads.

In Alaska, a GOP mailer which showed stacks of cash being stuffed into Democrat Jesse Kiehl's suit didn't seem to work, Kiehl defeated right-leaning independent Don Etheridge 60-37. (Etheridge he disavowed the Republican ad).

In California, Republican Tyler Diep painted his Jewish opponent Josh Lowenthal green, enlarged his nose, and showed him clutching $100 bills; Diep prevailed in his California Assembly race, 54-46.

Pennsylvania State Rep. Todd Stephens (R) made sure to drop the "Johnson" from the name of Democratic opponent Sara Johnson Rothman when he photoshopped her holding a stack of cash, instead going with "Stop Sara Rothman". Stephens won re-election by a narrow 51-49 margin.

In North Carolina, Republican Rickey Padgett tried to unseat State Senator Mike Woodard (D) by, among other things, posting a picture with Chuck Schumer dressed in a Nazi SS uniform. Woodward prevailed by a 62-36 spread.

Finally, in Connecticut, Democrat Matt Lesser gained national attention when his Republican opponent Ed Charamut sent out a mailer depicting Lesser with wild eyes, a huge nose, and a wad of cash. Lesser prevailed in a tight race, winning 52-48.

What are the takeaways here? Well, for starters, the most virulent and explicit antisemites generally lost. That's good, though given that those candidates generally ran in ideologically lopsided districts it's easy to overdraw from that. The Steve King victory shows that where the partisan lean works in the antisemite's favor, partisan allegiance generally trumps (seriously, does anyone have confidence that if Arthur Jones ran in Steve King's district as the Republican candidate, he would lose?). And if that holds true for to a blatant bigot like King, it certainly applies to more mild or sporadic offenders, like Davis and Omar.

The more interesting -- and troublesome -- story is how less overt but still clear antisemitism played out in more closely contested races. Those who assume that America just doesn't tolerate antisemitism are in for a surprise. Hagedorn's antisemitic past (and present) didn't seem to dent his chances in Minnesota's toss-up first district, for example. This isn't to say that antisemites were universally winning -- more that antisemitism, even when expressed, generally isn't a losing issue either even in the sort of closely contested districts where you might expect candidates to tread more carefully.

Moreover, there's a partisan lean to this that cannot be ignored. Certainly, there are incidents of antisemitism in both Democratic and Republican politics. And because American Jews (and Jewish politicians) are so overwhelmingly liberal, there are far more progressive "targets" for antisemitism than there are conservatives. Still, between Soros conspiracy theorizing and "Jews clutching money" ads, there seemed to be a noticeable step-up in GOP appeals to this sort of antisemitic sentiment that doesn't have a clear parallel among Democrats right now.

And Republican strategists must have come to a conclusion that these ads work. Yes, maybe they turn off some Jewish or more liberal-leaning voters. But Republican campaign operatives must think they make up for it by revving up the conservative base (or even independents -- for a variety of reasons I strongly suspect that right-leaning independents might be even more susceptible to this sort of appeal).

There was certainly no systematic punishing effect for Republicans going to this well -- and so we can expect they'll keep doing it. And that is a worrisome conclusion.

via The Debate Link https://ift.tt/2zyyHER

#anti-semitism #Election 2018 #Jews

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gascon-en-exil · 6 years ago

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So Who’s the Queen?: A Chess of Blades Review (Part 1)

A gay male dating sim with a recurring motif of chess references and not once are any of the guys likened to queens. How positively appalling.

That missed opportunity aside, this quick little indie visual novel caught my attention about a week ago and got me invested enough to generate two posts’ worth of discussion. Admittedly this is only the second visual novel I’ve actually played through - the first being the delightfully raunchy Coming Out on Top - but I’ve picked up a bit of other examples of the genre from fandom osmosis and watching playthroughs on YouTube so I’d like to think my reference pool is at least a little larger than that. Despite the apparent lack of a fanbase a few of my followers expressed interest in hearing what I have to say on the game, so here we are. Note that as this is one of the very rare occasions where I’m not presuming that I’m writing for an audience already familiar with my subject I’m going to do my best to avoid major plot and characterization spoilers in the event that anyone wants to check this game out on Steam. I will be talking a fair bit about the lategame sex scenes, but given the nature of Chess of Blades I don’t think anyone will be spoiled to learn that the main character gets up to an assortment of naked sweaty fun with his various love interests. This will be a review in two parts - this one covering my general thoughts on the game’s overall story, themes, and presentation, and the second one on the love interests and their individual routes.

Protagonist Rivian Varrison is a young nobleman of an unnamed kingdom modeled after a vague blend of early modern European nations. The son of a celebrated military strategist, Rivian is sent on his own to attend a week-long celebration for the king’s birthday at a remote royal castle despite his mildly antisocial tendencies and lack of familiarity with court life (and sex, because of course he’s a virgin). During his time at the castle he becomes embroiled in one of several plots by antagonistic forces that threaten to destabilize the kingdom’s foreign relations, and with the help of a collection of men who want to bone him Rivian has to avoid getting murdered, save the day, and also figure out what and who he’s going to be doing with his life once the party’s over. Oh, and there’s a quick handwave in dialogue near the beginning of the game establishing that homophobia is not a problem in this setting. Arbitrary sidestepping of serious real world obstacles, yay!

However, from my limited understanding of traditional yaoi homophobia is not often as much of a concern in the genre as might be expected, and this is one of several elements of CoB that give me the impression that, like yaoi/BL, the game is written with a female audience in mind. Rivian hits all of what I assume are defining traits of an uke intended to be identified with by a female player; he’s a waifish and inexperienced sub bottom with flowing hair and sensitive nipples, all of which come into play in some way for every sex scene. I don’t mind it though, because I just so happen to also be a waifish sub bottom who can find him quite relatable. Not the bits with hair pulling and nipple play perhaps, because I get next to nothing out of either, but I can use my imagination. Suffice it to say that CoB is clearly inspired by the conventions and dynamics of yaoi even if it isn’t always entirely beholden to them.

I wouldn’t even say it’s the sex or those particular dynamics that comprise the main draw of the game, because both the political and romantic storylines offer enough enjoyment on their own to encourage multiple playthroughs in order to see everything. It helps that the main conflict differs depending on the romantic route, and each comes with its own antagonist(s). Characters - love interests included - who act in a certain role in one route may serve an entirely different one in another, or they may not appear at all. At the heart of all the nefarious goings-on lies a shadowy organization presumably modeled after the politically divisive Jesuit order of the Catholic Church minus the religious motivations (the fact that the organization appears to be named after their founder St. Ignatius of Loyola is a dead giveaway), although there’s enough variety in the specific antagonists to allow for more than one reading of what’s really going on with all these murders and kidnappings and such. The distinct but interwoven nature of the four storylines manages to do a lot with a small cast and a compressed timeframe, and while I don’t think you’ll find anything truly groundbreaking in terms of narrative I feel like it would be rude of me to spoil the particulars.

Gameplay is...well...

...just that, really. It’s a series of fifteen or so questions with two choices each that determine which storyline and romantic route you’ll follow and then eventually whether you get the good or bad ending for that route. That’s a bit sparse even in comparison to other visual novels I’m familiar with, but it works well for what it is. The algorithm for determining the romantic route especially is less obvious than you might expect, as it’s impossible to favor one man exclusively at the expense of the others. Moreover, if you don’t favor one man to at least some degree Rivian gets murdered before the plot even gets properly started in a generic bad ending that’s almost comical in how unexpected it is.

Presentation is a bit of a mixed bag. The artwork is serviceable and even quite good at points. but there’s a fair amount of stylistic variation and the NSFW art in particular doesn’t impress me very much. The soundtrack is excellent for an indie game, with fourteen original pieces that all do a great job of matching the tone and atmosphere of the scenes. I have no complaints about the writing apart from the odd typo or awkward phrasing choice, although there are a few quirks I couldn’t help but pick up on. For instance - Rivian, all of the love interests, and several of the side characters get compared to animals at multiple points. In exactly one scenario there’s the implication that this might lead into some offscreen pet play, but aside from that it’s just a rhetorical device. Maybe Rivian is secretly a furry? The chess motif is also less prevalent than I was expecting; it’s actually more prominent in the names and icons of the game’s Steam achievements, rather than in the game itself.

Then there’s the matter of the voice acting. While I appreciate the ambition of an erotic visual novel with multiple routes having full voice acting, the execution often leaves something to be desired for a number of reasons. The most common is that the VAs affect noticeable accents for many of the characters, usually to make them sound posh and refined, and either because of inexperience or because of just how strong the accents can get some of their line reads can come across as stilted or unnaturally paced. Rivian is unfortunately one of the more notable offenders. He’s the character with whom the player is meant to identify, and yet his voice is so obviously affected that it took me some time to stop thinking of him as a parody of a nobleman designed purely as comic relief. I found his voice less distracting in major emotional scenes thankfully, although on that note I also have to point out that the sex scenes are fully voiced as well. This doesn’t help anyone on the whole, not least because of how difficult it can be to authentically vocalize getting your dick sucked or taking a cock in your tight virginal hole. Also...there are sound effects for some of the kissing and blowjob scenes, and I really wish there weren’t. In all seriousness, if you’re audibly slurping that much while doing either of those things you’re either being intentionally sloppy because your partner’s into that or you’re extremely slow on the uptake about what to do with a penis or someone else’s tongue in your mouth. I suppose I should be thankful that we’re spared tonguing sounds during the rimjob scenes or the slapping of balls on ass. It’s worth noting that the option to mute some or all of the voice acting exists, but I stuck it out because there were some performances I genuinely liked and because I was determined to get the full experience - for better or worse.

Whether what I described above justifies the rather steep price tag for an indie visual novel (because of the voice acting, possibly?) is a personal call, but for what it’s worth I enjoyed my time with the game in spite of those shortcomings and do recommend it for fans of period M/M romance, particularly the kind you’re likely to find in Japanese properties like the ones from which CoB clearly draws inspiration. I feel like I’m getting ahead of myself, though, as this post is going to have a second part. Next time I’ll be critiquing each of the four love interests both in and out of bed, which will undoubtedly make for a fun and extremely filthy bit of writing.

#Chess of Blades #M/M visual novel #BL novel

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