#those who don't don't none of my business'
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Beetlejuice clearly wasn't interested in Lydia when they met, so when do you think he actually fell for her? Was he so impressed by Lydia defeating him that he developed a little crush?
i think this might be the biggest thing i've been turning around in my head since the sequel dropped. how did bro get to this point. i need to know. you weren't like this where we left off, what happened during that huge time gap????
this is where canon ends and conjecture begins, you just have to theorize and fill in the gaps yourself with whatever makes the most sense to you, which is what i've been trying to do this whole time. so please bear with me here.
i don't know how much i want share or save for my comics because i don't know how much he would actually reveal about this but whatever we ball
edit: ok so i scrolled back up to this after finishing writing this and as it turns out i have no self control and i ended up sharing everything that crossed my mind. craziest stream of consciousness i've ever written down. strap on and keep your limbs inside the ride at all times. whatever. we BALL.
let's review their first encounter from his point of view:
you're hired to scare the deetzes, right? so you do just that. excellently you might add. just when you're about to terrorize their teenage daughter, barbara banishes you and the party is over. what fucking losers right? you get the sense that adam and barbara care about this girl so you make some remark about her and it pisses them off. haha. also whoa where did this place come from? damn adam, who could've guessed he had it in him. you forget about everything else and dance your way to dante's inferno room.
after spending a respectably tasteful evening with those ladies, you're chill now. relaxing under your little sun lamp to work on your tan.
someone walks in looking for adam and barbara. don't they know they're dead?
"are you a ghost too?"
"i'm the ghost with the most, babe."
hold on a sec, who's even—
...well hey. it's the girl.
the girl who can see ghosts, and she's talking to you.
target acquired. this one's your ticket out of this hellhole.
"you look like somebody i can relate to," you tell her. relate how? doesn't matter. you're ensnaring her with your affable demeanor like you always do, make people feel like you're pals with them first and foremost. she seems like a nice girl, so this should be easy. you tell her upfront that you want to get out of there and you need her help to do so.
"i want to get in," she says.
whoa there.
what? she wants to get in? she says that in response to you saying that you wanted out. she really has no idea what it's like on the other side, huh. but shit, that kinda stops you in your tracks a bit. this girl wants to die. this young? that's not right. makes no sense.
"...why?"
she just looks at you and says nothing. jesus. ok maybe it's none of your business so let's back it up. you're losing control of the conversation and you're on a mission here. you figure if she helps you get out, you might as well talk her off that ledge or show her how shitty it is on the other side or somethin'. frankly, you can't afford to care right now. you're not entirely sure why she thinks things would be better on the side you're so desperate to get out of, but alright. doesn't matter, right now you gotta get her to summon you. so you begin your little game of charades.
after she correctly guesses your name and almost says it a third time, she recognizes you as the snake that terrorized her family. god fucking dammit. you're losing her. you're getting impatient. your affable act is over. "nah...i want to talk to barbara," she says and now she's REALLY getting on your nerves because fuck barbara, fuck adam, you're SO CLOSE to getting out and you're not gonna let this go now, go go GO GO SAY IIIIIIITTTTTTT
adam and barbara walk in because of course they do. womp womp
ok well that didn't work, but you're not gonna give up so easily. sooner or later another opportunity will come and soon you will be free.
wait why are they moving the model— where are they taking it—
ooohhhhh. business meeting. get a load of these yuppies, trying to turn winter river into a town-sized Ripley's Believe it or Not. a talking marcel marceau statue? and you thought you were a con man. no wonder the deetz girl wants to die, it's bleak as hell here too. but if you get out...you can fix that. hell, you can fix anything.
these bozos are here to see some ghosts, but the girl says they're not going to show up unless the fleshbags stop making a mockery out of the whole thing and that maybe they can all live happy together in the house. ain't that sweet.
of course no one's taking her seriously. she's a kid, what does she know, right? they'd rather listen to the most obnoxious guy in the room (besides yourself) who has no idea what the fuck he's talking about, but somehow, he's got his hands on the handbook.
the girl panics, then immediately says completely deadpan "wait, what am i even worried about, otho, you can't even change a tire" and you're surprised they didn't hear how hard you cackled at that.
despite all that, they seem to have started a séance with their old wedding clothes. bad news for the maitlands. they're about to be dead-dead. the girl cries for them to stop, and these guys are just sitting there scared shitless. you're hearing everything. you knew a new opportunity would arise, so you wait, because this is the part where people remember how good at your job you are. they always do.
she knows you can help. you're the only one who can help. so here she comes. those wedding clothes give you an idea. plan B is now in motion.
well well well.
look who came crawling back.
she asks for your help, and you're happy to oblige, under one condition of course. after all, you don't do anything for free, and she's the only one who can help you with your problem. how serendipitous.
once again, you lay it on her, straight up. you want out. and a way to do it (thanks adam and barbara for the reminder) is through marriage with a fleshbag. you need to get married. a green card marriage, if you will.
she's immediately disgusted by the idea. you don't take that personally, of course, because it doesn't matter. she's just a kid and it's not a real marriage. she just happens to be unlucky enough to be the only one around who can assist you with this, the poor girl. it's a marriage of convenience—or rather, inconvenience—and you're not planning on sticking around because you will get the hell out of there as soon as you can. so there shouldn't be a problem, right? besides, does she know how many women would kill to be in that position? she gets to brag about it to her friends, what's not to like? it's a totally even deal.
the clock is ticking and the maitlands aren't getting any younger. she agrees to the deal. you win, at last.
she already knows what to do, so you sit there patiently with a shit-eating grin on your face, awaiting the three little B words. gloating.
Beetlejuice........Beetlejuice...........Beetlejuice.
it's showtime.
this is your favorite part. you love a dramatic entrance. you decide to show the deetzes and their greedy friends the circus they so wanted to turn this town into. horrible as you are, you're also pretty damn good at calling out other people's horribleness, and you do love an ironic karmic way of dealing with someone. for example tubby here thinks he can escape, but not before you change his sleek black suit into a tacky white leisure suit. the horror! this is why you're a professional at this.
you effortlessly end the exorcism and the maitlands are saved. a little pruney right now but they'll be fine. everything is taken care of, you have fulfilled your end of the deal like you promised. only one thing left to do.
"shall we?"
there's really no need to make a whole show out of this, but you're a showman first and foremost and as a 𝒥𝓊𝒾𝓁𝓁𝒾𝒶𝓇𝒹 𝒶𝓁𝓊𝓂 you'll be damned if you're not gonna let yourself have a little fun with this. everyone looks terrified. this is why you're a professional at this.
witnesses and reverend in place, you can finally begin the ceremony. you're having fun, yes, but let's try to pick up the pace a bit, okay? the closer you get to your goal, the more impatient you get. the girl isn't finding any of this very funny at all and she protests. the maitlands butt in and are now kind of twisting your arm a bit, but you deal with them harmlessly, until they get on your last nerve so you send adam to the model and barbara to saturn. all of this after you honorably fulfilled your end of the bargain and saved the day. jesus christ, are you the only one with some integrity around here or what.
you forget the stupid ring. shit. you're pretty sure you have it on you somewhere, ever since you chopped up delores into pieces for poisoning you. you kept her ring finger as a trophy and as a reminder to never get married again, and yet here you are, but desperate times call for desperate measures. finally, you find the ring (still on her severed finger) and hastily tell your new bride-to-be that delores meant nothing to you. in case she even cares. she doesn't seem to. not even a chuckle? oh well.
almost done with the ceremony. almost there. you're holding the girl's hand with an iron grip to keep her in place as you're about to put that ring on her finger. "i now pronounce you, man and—"
a tiny car crashes against your foot and it catches on fire. you scream. a fucking sandworm crashes into the room through the ceiling. everyone screams. you scream LOUDER.
you're sent back to the afterlife waiting room.
not your first rodeo with a sandworm, but that doesn't make the experience any less shitty. the real annoying part is being in the waiting room again. this could take ages. you're number 9,998,383,750,000 and they're serving number 3 right now. you trick the guy next to you and steal his ticket (number 4) but he's not too pleased about that, so that didn't work.
a long time sitting here it is, then.
movie ends, credits roll.
for reference, that was 1988. winona ryder was 15 when they were filming in 1987 so while lydia doesn't have a confirmed age, i think we can safely assume that she was the same age as winona at the time.
36 years later, it's 2024. or 34 years later, it's 2022. we don't know the exact year because while bob's in memoriam credits scene says 2024 and all the interviews talk about how 36 years have passed in universe as well, there's this other one tiny detail.
jeremy's death passport says he died on march 11, 1999. jane butterfield says he died "23 years ago," putting the movie in 2022. they did film it in 2022 so the math is mathing correctly there. given that the in memoriam scene was more of a joke and jeremy's passport is a canon prop in the movie, i'd say 2022 is the canon year the movie is set in. (small sidenote; the passport also has the roman numerals DCLXVI which is 666. cute detail i loved it)
in the sequel, beetlejuice says lydia has been ignoring him for 30 years. i always thought that was curious because outside of this claim, they always specify how many years exactly have passed since. he doesn't say 34 or 36, he says 30. and for his degree of obsession (and the fact that he remembers exactly how many times he's watched The Exorcist) i think he would be counting even the days so i think he did really mean 30 years. so this would mean at least 4 years passed between getting sent back to the waiting room and the beginning of his stalking.
AND NOW that we established all that, we are finally getting to the answer to the question, "when and how did this all start?"
so okay, he spent a while in the waiting room. a lot of time to think. probably replaying the events at the deetzes' in his head over and over, how he got here, where he fucked up, what's he gonna do once he gets out. cursing the maitlands for ruining his plan when he was soooo fucking close. wondering what ever happened to lydia deetz.
lydia deetz, the young girl who told him she wanted to die.
...
is she alright?
i don't think he's capable of feeling guilt, but we can probably argue that he's not entirely heartless. what she said about how she wanted to "get in" must've stuck with him from the way he reacted when she dropped that bomb. she never showed up in the waiting room so he knows she didn't follow through with that. still, he used a vulnerable young girl for his own selfish gain. ironically enough, he knows exactly how that feels, because he also got tricked into marriage and got used for someone else's gain. the difference being that he dealt with that shit with an axe.
much much much to think about for mr. juice.
after years of ruminating in that waiting room, he's finally out and back to the regular day to day afterlife. definitely gets chewed out by juno, maybe forced to do community service or labor or what have you, he basically just needs to clean up his act now. this freelancing shit is becoming more trouble than it's worth anyway.
he's still wondering about lydia deetz. should he check in on her? maybe he should, he's too curious now.
at this point, lydia is now about 19-21 and in college. maybe he manages to sneak into the model one time she's back home for the holidays or something. and oh my god would you look at that, what a beautiful young woman she's grown into. she's radiant. she's happy. she's no longer that gloomy suicidal kid he met in the attic. seems like what she said about the deetzes and the maitlands sharing the house did come true after all.
that's nice. very sweet. good to know.
maybe he wonders if she remembers him and tries to get her attention somehow, give her a little scare for old times sake or whatever. for a brief moment it seems like she saw something and her expression changes, but she shrugs it off and continues on chatting with her two sets of parents. no such luck.
oh well. curiosity sated! and beetlejuice goes back home and doesn't return.
until the next time he returns.
and he keeps coming back to check in on her, telling himself he's just making sure that she hasn't killed herself or something. and he's not above admitting that with every year that passes, she keeps getting more beautiful. and to think they almost got married, huh.
he constantly tries to get her to notice him somehow, and sometimes she almost does, but ultimately he never really succeeds beyond making her do a double take. very rarely she does catch a glimpse of him. he's seen her mutter to herself that she's just seeing things and she seems a bit frightened every time this happens, but there's nothing to fear, honey, it's just good ol' beetlejuice. he won't lie, he gets a bit of a rush every time and it makes his dead heart beat faintly. he's gotten this far, he can't just stop now. in his mind, this has become their little private game of cat and mouse, where the mouse ignores the cat. but aren't they cute? he thinks they're cute. this is not creepy at all!
before he realizes, he's already learned everything about her. he knows about richard and even watched their wedding from afar like a loser. he knows she gave birth to a healthy baby girl named astrid. he knows they have a blast on halloween. halloween is lydia's favorite holiday, and his too. sometimes he can't help but see the three of them happy together and think it could've totally been him. even if he and richard are nothing alike (in fact could not be more opposite) and the circumstances of their unholy wedding were nothing short of grim and a farce. but in his mind, he's starting to convince himself otherwise.
maybe it's his jealousy speaking, but lydia doesn't seem to be that happy with richard despite everything. even though richard is like, the perfect guy. then one day his suspicions are proven correct: neither of them knows why it happened, but after having a long and emotional talk (that he watched with a bucket of popcorn) they decide to get a divorce. he pumps his fist, feeling victorious for some reason. sure he's a little sadistic at times, but why is this giving him so much glee?
the divorce is hard on lydia's kid, who was always more attached to her father, but they still spend a lot of time together. sometimes the three of them, since richard and lydia kept things amicable after the divorce. lydia tries to move on and see other people, but each relationship fails before it even starts. mostly because she keeps holding back and so fails to connect with anyone else, but also sometimes because, well, he can't help himself but to scare them away from her from time to time. it's fun. in his mind, he's just being protective of her, as a gentleman should for a lady.
then richard dies. fell into a piranha infested river from the looks of it (he saw him at immigration one day, don't ask what he was doing around there, force of habit after constantly making sure lydia hasn't killed herself yet.) it's devastating for both lydia and astrid, straining their relationship even more for the next few years as they both try to cope with the loss. the shock proves to be too much for lydia, so she goes to a survivors retreat to work through her trauma, both from richard's death and "unresolved feelings."
then lydia, at her most vulnerable, meets rory.
beetlejuice was able to clock him immediately. a textbook manipulative opportunist, he himself knows the tactics very well. swoop in to "help" someone in a vulnerable position, pull the wool over their eyes and begin taking control so you can get what you want out of that person.
he wouldn't admit it, but this really irks beetlejuice. you know when you see someone who reminds you of the worst parts of yourself, so you despise them? yeah. he's been there, and he's also been him.
but rory is somehow even worse than beetlejuice. see, rory is her manager, and boy does he manage to get on his nerves. he takes her phone. he controls what medication she takes. he blames and guilt trips her about every mishap that HE causes, making himself look like her benevolent savior and making her feel like she would be lost without him, confusing her with his psychobabble. on top of all that, he's forcing her to do this hacky show called Ghost House where she "hunts ghosts" or whatever. the houses he's been helping newly-deads with in his day job as a bio-exorcist (now with a fleet of employees,) she's "hunting" those ghosts now. it's so dumb. it never works. beetlejuice doesn't even know what the hell she's doing, she's phoning it in most of the time and she knows she's become a sellout. what happened to that "strange and unusual" girl who stood up for her ghost friends when those suits wanted to profit off of them back in winter river?
he needs to bring that back. he's the only one who can.
in his mind, beetlejuice has already rewritten the events that transpired. in his mind, lydia has been his wife this entire time, it's just, y'know, one of those open long distance relationships and she doesn't always remember him, but that's okay. in his mind, they share a psychic bond that allows her to sense his presence or see him in her dreams from time to time. he's got nothing to be jealous about, because other men can't compare. no one else can match what they have.
sure, part of him knows he's lying to himself a little bit. but he's already clung to this idea; these past 30 years wouldn't make sense otherwise. he's in love with lydia deetz. this isn't insane of him to say at all. and if it is, well, you know what they say, love makes you do batshit crazy things.
it's not that complicated, no matter what they say you'll never meet another me it's not that difficult to get my head around i'll never meet another you
the end
don't trick me into writing a fanfic again
#beetlejuice#beetlejuice beetlejuice#lydia deetz#beetleposting#beetlebabes#<- added for those who would prefer to not see this stuff but i didn't intend this to be a shippy post#spoilers: it's very one sided. but it IS all from his POV so you can kinda expect him to be...him#if you're a shipper who's just checking the tag then uhhh hi! i feel like i'm intruding lmao
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A new ladder - Reader x Curly
Previous - Part 2 - Next
"Those were the words of the former captain of the Tulpar ship, owned by Pony Express, Grant Curly, who miraculously was the only survivor even in his condition after going through a series of murders on the ship, completely vulnerable, by the same person who caused the crash, his co-pilot Jimmy-"
You turned off the television while they were broadcasting Curly's testimony on all channels.
"I'll go buy a few things" you mentioned, getting up from your seat and putting on a jacket to go out. "Wanna come with me?"
Curly turned to look at you curiously, thinking you were going to leave him there on his own until you returned, or that you would take him without asking to keep him close.
Curly: "Please"
He sighed and you took his chair to start pushing him to the store.
They could notice the looks of the people passing by, all recognizing the man, but none able to approach him to ask a question.
"Do you like peas? Lin told me that you could eat without any problem as long as your pieces are small."
Curly: "I have no problem with the food... I just don't like sweets."
"Okay"
You nodded, adding things to the cart, checking the prices, and thinking about what you could cook.
He stood gazing into the distance at the chocolate aisle, remembering the boxes of chocolates he used to buy for Linda, sighing at the thought that those days were in the past.
He found it strange to think that she was already over 50, while he remained at the age of 34, now being cared for by the younger sister of the woman who had once been his fiancée, who must now be around 32.
Curly: "Your birthday... It was a few months ago, right? I remember Linda used to say that she liked spring because it was when you were born."
"...No, my birthday hasn't happened yet, there's still some time left. But I don't really celebrate it, I just treat myself and that's it."
You shrugged even while looking at the products on the shelves.
Having everything you needed, you went to the cash registers to pay. The woman had seen Curly on television and gave him a discount as if he were some kind of veteran or senior.
That didn't please the man very much.
You stopped halfway back to his home, the streets were no longer so busy, after all, you had left a bit late after all.
"Would you like to feel something different?"
You asked him while firmly holding the wheelchair, there was a slight slope on that street, the man immediately turned to look at you, you looked excited to do something, like a child about to pull a prank.
Curly: "Sure?..." he said without being very convinced
And he let out a scream when you climbed onto the chair's wheel tubes and let the slope of the street make you go down, he could only hear a mix of his screams and your laughter as you went down.
He feared crashing into something or flying off, he didn't want to experience more pain, but the chair kept moving even after the descent was over. Curly was grateful for the good quality of the chair, and that it didn't fall apart when you got on it too. He was able to breathe easy when they stopped after a few seconds.
"And we arrived! Much faster, right?"
You patted his shoulder, ready to get off and push him inside the house, the man could feel the rapid beating of his heart at that moment.
Curly: "Do you do things like this often?" he asked, trying to have a conversation to calm down.
"Didn't you feel more alive?"
He fell silent as he thought about your question, while they descended, the only thing he could feel was his heart racing, the wind on his face, and he heard your laughter close to him, but at no moment was there sadness, remorse, or any of those emotions he constantly felt.
Just adrenaline.
Curly: "You could say that... yes..."
You put the groceries in their place and left out only what you were going to use, you ended up making some fried rice with chicken, egg, onion, and peas.
You could see how the man struggled to use his prosthesis to hold his utensils and eat, everything falling onto the table several times.
You moved your chair closer to him, making him look at you.
"Do you want to keep trying or would you prefer that I help you?"
Curly: "I give up for today..." was his only response, sighing.
You took food on your fork and brought it to his face, he opened his mouth and finally managed to take a bite, enjoying the taste of that simple food, he had missed homemade meals after so much time eating the provisions on the ship and then the bland hospital food.
"And? How is it?"
Curly: "Delicious," he replied, opening his mouth, hoping you would give him more.
You couldn't help but compare it to a baby bird begging for food, but you held back your laughter to keep feeding it.
Curly: "Mm.. So, when is your birthday?"
It was a very bad idea to talk to his implant while eating, causing him to start coughing as he choked on the food.
"Well... It's exactly in 5 weeks," you smiled, making him raise his arms and you patted his back.
He was surprised at how quickly he was able to stop coughing when you did that, you immediately handed him a glass of water.
"I'll be right back, I'm going to get a cloth to clean the food scraps off the table."
You mentioned standing up to go to the kitchen.
While you were away, he kept trying to eat on his own, managing to get a small amount of rice on his fork and being able to eat that.
While he chewed, he kept watching out the window; that orange and reddish color appearing in the trees was tinting the whole place.
Her birthday... It's in autumn...
#A new ladder mouthwash#mouthwash#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#mouthwashing x reader#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#captain curly x reader#curly x reader#mouthwashing curly
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With the ever-present rush towards convenience, so many sit-in restaurants are becoming take-out-only instead. Let's be honest: none of us really want to go outside and talk to people in order to get food. Just flip that app and bingbong® yourself a drunk order of fried treats for only $25 in fees.
Pizza Hut was one of the first to abandon the pull of large square footage, throwing millions of nostalgic red plastic cups into industrial grinders in a mad rush to stop bleeding so much goddamn money all the time. Today, those cups are worth $250 on eBay, so they look pretty stupid now, don't they?
The problem with all this is, in the time of our foreparents, it was real hard to fake the existence of a restaurant. If you went to a Pizza Hut, it was a real-ass physical building. It probably had not been copy-pasted together by a bunch of Taiwanese scam artists using Google Image Search fifteen seconds before you appeared. That was more of a Taco Bell thing. Nowadays, you can't be sure. Computers treat bullshit the same as any other kind of shit, so sometimes you'll be ordering from a completely imaginary restaurant. Feels weird, doesn't it?
As with many other cases in my adult life where I figured out everyone was just faking it, I decided to try and make some quick money. Papa needed a new engine, you see, and Slant Sixes don't exactly grow on trees anymore. With just a couple wonky Excel spreadsheets and a glob of code the size of Upper Tonawanda, I was in business with Switch's Fun-Time Pizza, an entirely non-fictitious restaurant whose address happened to be at the same place as a Pizza Hut.
Folks would pay me money, and then I'd quickly pay Pizza Hut to have a pizza ready by the time the delivery guy rolled up. Nobody seemed to care that the box said the wrong thing, and soon I was collecting fat stacks of money for doing nothing at all, just like the platforms themselves. This went on for a few weeks, fattening my bank account for slaughter. Until the first complaints came in, that is.
Yes, friends: it turned out that the local Pizza Hut had hired someone who wasn't very good at washing their hands. Soon, I was handing out big-time refunds on behalf of a massive international corporation, except I was doing so out of my own ill-gotten profits. My rickety, strung-together bullshit engine made entirely out of spreadsheets and chewing gum simply could not comprehend the idea of a refund, much less one for a weak human phenomenon such as food poisoning. Soon, all the money was gone.
Have I learned something from this whole experience? Yes. The most important thing in food service is to wash your hands thoroughly before (and after!) handling the customer's meat. The second most important thing is to charge at least a hundred percent premium over your supplier, to leave room for little hiccups such as this.
That's way easier to do if you position yourself as an upscale luxury restaurant, such as Lord Switchington of Canterbury's Refined Palate Pizza Parlour For Bourgeois Assholes Only, which will be launching this weekend in the very expensive neighbourhood next to mine. Hopefully their Pizza Hut is a little bit better at keeping the bathroom soap dispenser stocked.
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I greatly admire Suzanne Collins goal to never explain any of her stories. She just drops them and goes.
#she leaves the rest of us to make an absolute circus out of it#Suzanne Collins#there was so much negative buzz when Ballad was announced and her response was 'no the ones who get it will get it#those who don't don't none of my business'#The Hunger Games#thg#Catching Fire#Mockingjay#The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes#The Underland Chronicles#tuc#Gregor the Overlander#Fizzy talks#books
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Why are so many people on Tumblr/Twitter claiming Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss are bad shows??? "They're not mid shows guys they're just bad" can y'all give me one concrete reason they're bad besides debunked "controversies" or things that other people told you were bad about em?
Like I'm halfway convinced all of these people claiming these are such bad shows and are annoyed about em haven't actually watched them - "I don't need to watch a show to know it's bad" pretty sure you do if you want to have an informed opinion, that goes for everything actually.
If you're annoyed by the hype and the fan culture?? That's fine we all got our things but that doesn't make the shows themselves bad I think y'all just like having someone to poke fun of without feeling like a bully and honestly?? That seems like a miserable way to live.
#This is specifically about that mid shows post going around#What other people like and consider good/bad/mid is none of your business and not a reason to make fun of them#Y'all think you're being SO progressive and kind when you're still being cruel to people online for the smallest shit#You don't like it?? Don't interact with it just block and move on#You curate your own internet experience it's not that hard#I don't like rwby or one piece and those come up on my dash all the time it's so easy to ignore and move on#I don't call those shows bad because surprise! I've never seen them so I don't know!#hazbin hotel#helluva boss#Y'all claim cringe culture is dead but still mock people who like “cringy” stuff like any of this is gonna matter in five years#And mark my words I'm gonna get called cringe or some shit for this post#When y'all should be thinking about why you take joy from calling people shit on the internet like it's gonna make you happy#Years long mutuals of mine are even jumping on the mockery bandwagon!! I've followed y'all for almost a decade what is going on
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Why do u draw?
oooooooo [rubs hands together] a fun one that probably isn't that deep but i'm going to take way too seriously!
so the short answer is fun, but i can never just say one sentence and be done with it soooo i elaborated and wrote a whole essay below. sorry not sorry
anyway if you didn't want my origin story no shame in that, it's not gonna be on the quiz, just keep scrolling :P
to cover all my bases let me start from the beginning and work my way forward...
i think pretty much all kids draw at least a little just because they can, but the thing that really inspired me to take art seriously was the great abundance of cat animations on youtube in the early 2010s... warrior cats amvs mostly, but also artists like bani the kitty and splashkittyartist! you can really see these inspirations in my early digital art hehehe (see below by attle b. age 8)
from then until about age 14 art was just... my thing? i did it pretty much everyday, probably couldn't have imagined life without it... i think back then my motivations were more inline with your typical social media artist motivations... get better, be seen, and maybe make a career out of it? never made it that far though because ehhhh life has different plans i guess
i fell into an art slump in the middle of high school for a variety of personal reasons i won't get into, and as such i had to give up my dreams of creating art as a job
as sad as that was in the moment, it forced me to change my outlook on the whole ordeal in a way that i think was ultimately healthier for me.
that brought me to where i am now! since i have no goals beyond keeping at it as a hobby, i do it simply because i enjoy the process, the product, and i feel like it lets me connect with my interests in a way i otherwise couldn't.
it's a fun way to express love for the things i care about, and while i still enjoy honing my skills i don't feel the same pressure to be perfect that i used to which is really freeing!!
so in that sense it's intrinsic motivation that makes me draw what i draw... however, the amount of art i put out and the polish i give it is definitely motivated by the eyes i have on me... while i'd still be drawing the same things if no one was watching, i would not be putting nearly as much effort into it, nor would i be doing it as regularly, so i do thank you guys for keeping me on track there <3
that's it i think? i could get into the philosophy of it, but i'll spare you that... okay thank you for letting me yap!!! ^-^
#of course while i mainly do art for myself i have been considering commissions#bc i also enjoy seeing other people's original creations and ideas and working with those!!#it still fits into my reasons for making art because in those cases i feel it's almost a love letter to art and creativity itself#like art fight was pretty much the only time of year i actually rendered art during that aforementioned art slump#and ik it wasn't to get art for ME bc i made filler ocs for it i didn't give a shit about with the sole intent of giving people options LOL#but i also don't think i could do it for free anymore? not with my lack of time and the amount of people who could potentially want it#BUT none of that MATTERS if i can't get off my ASS and make an info sheet and a paypal and figure out prices and UGH!!! business stuff :(#me chat.#ask response#long post
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It's always interesting to hear about people's weird/unexpected "alternate life paths". Like, something that you could have done with your life, a job you almost took, a school you almost went to, etc - that was still actually realistic enough that it could have happened, but NOW it seems to not suit your current personality.
Like for example, I currently hate advertising (how manipulative it is, brands trying to be 'relatable', social media amplifying it to an obnoxious extreme, etc.) so much that even seeing a little ad before a youtube video is grating to even witness, but there was a point in time where I was genuinely seriously considering going into marketing/making commercials as a career lol. Or like, I have a relative who was very inclined to be a pastor when they were younger, even though today they're a super strong atheist, etc. etc.
#BECAUSE I knew I really liked filming and editing things and doing set design and costume design (from having done little bits of that#here and there in media classes and my own stuff - i used to be a lot more into making videos than I am now). BUT I was always thinking#that a movie is WAAY to big and long. even a short film. So I was trying to think of ways I could still like#have the fun of scouting locations to film and dressing up actors and etc. etc. without it having to be a Huge Million Dollar Production#on tv show or movie level. SO then I was thinking about like... just doing commercials. Or music videos. Like shorter things where I still#get the fun of the filming and everything but it's less of an intensive long term project.#So there is an alternate version of me (I suppose if i somehow did not end up having physical and mental health issues#as badly somehow.. or like.. randomly came into wealth and was able to pay my way through a nice college despite missing#days constantly being out because I'm sick or something lol) that works in some corporate advertising office coming up with commercials#and directing or filming them or doing the sets for them or something in that general vicinity.#I also was considering being a corporate psychologist. or whatever its called.. oh from google:#''Industrial and organizational (I/O) psychologists study and assess individual group and organization dynamics in the workplace''#I don't think I even knew what the job entailed. I was at the time just thinking like.. the type of person that comes into a business offic#and gives everyone personality assessments or does MBTI or big-5 testing crap for whatever reason that some businesses get that#done for people. Really i just wanted to be in a Corporate Big Office setting yet still do psychology. Because I used to be really fixated#on living in a big city. Like the ideas of everything being walkable. picking up a coffee in the morning. walking to my job in a Big#Skyscraper Building. people watching in a huge hotel lobby for lunch. flying frequently (I love airplanes and airports aesthetically).#living in an apartment with a giant window overlooking the city. etc. etc. BUT that was before i had really BEEN to a city. Then I actually#hung around a city a few times and went places and I was like... AUGh... The Sensory Overwhelm.. cars people lights loudness noise scary#everything happening all at once. etc. etc. (though even when I wanted to live in a city i NEVER strove for the Night Life. when i say I#enjoy city imagery I mean like... in the day time. Many people who like cities talk about The Night Life and post pictures of cities all#lit up at night and clubs and dancing and restaurants. none of that EVER appealed to me. perhaps a sign I am not a real city person. Like#I am NOT standing in a crowded bar full of loud people in the middle of the night lol.. get AWAY from me!!) but I do adore the#architecture of like bright white clean sterile modern spaces like huge airport lobbies or malls or etc. I think thats what reminded me of#city and what I liked about the idea of that life. Like I always LOVED the layout of schools and hospitals and trainstations and public#transport in general. Though even then I knew enough that I would not be a good architect/city planner. so I guess my adoration for those#spaces was merely to be channeled into LIVING there. but then I realized I didn't even really want to do that that much. I mean I still#definitely aim to live NEAR a city. like the little areas outside of it. I would never live in a rural place 4 hours from anything. I liter#ally just COULDNT since I need close access to hospitals sometimes lol. But I used to want to live in the CENTER of citites like high rise#condo. and now I'm like.... eh....... perhaps a smaller quieter walkable space nearby lol.. ANYWAY.. alternate me in my Business Suit eheh
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anyways sometimes i wonder if i'm meant to be connected with people. don't get me wrong i appreciate my friends, but like my quality of life wouldn't go down too much if i hadn't met them. i like digging information out of people. they lose a lot of appeal once i know too much about them. i don't really have any kind of interest in pursuing any kind of relationship with people, romantic or platonic. i could take people or leave them. dunno
#they're playing ahead by a century on the radio and it's great#i love the colour of that one. it's pretty much just a night sky. the instrumentals are a dark blue and the white stars#and his voice is a lovely green that makes me think of the northern lights#i know i talk shit but i don't think i could leave canada for good#might head further north eventually but i'll stay in the country#dunno i got some synesthesia that only shows up sometimes or some shit idfk man#though rn i am bitching about none of them understanding the situation from our (mine and my brothers) side#like yeah i know you guys have jobs.#are you trying to search for one for yourself?#while helping your parents business because if that goes under we're ROYALLY fucked?#while worrying about a buddy of yours genuinely going missing?#i'll b real he was a huge help by the end of that job once everyone else who liked me left#anyways#no? none of those apply? then shut the fuck up about us getting the dates wrong. we gave#god fucking dammit im trying to type and hit the wrong button im going to fucking make a bed with the fishes#yes we got the dates mixed up. cope. bitch. we have actual real life problems to deal with.#sorry our shit got in the way of your plans. i guess. still don't see why i had to apologise but maybe im just a genuinely shitty person#one self centered motherfucker#anyways thats my word vomit for the night. might delete l8r. dunno
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My first time watching Glass Onion it was obvious that Miles' speeches were bullshit, but I still searched for any hidden meaning there might be.
The second time is a different experience though because every time my brain starts to search for meaning, I feel like Benoit Blanc discovering that no, there is absolutely no hidden meaning.
It's bullshit it's all nothing nothing nothing! It is just how you end up talking when everyone reacts to your self-aggrandizing word vomit like it is actually wisdom.
Also, legit, when Miles gave his stupid bullshit speech about what the word 'disruptor' means to him, I shit you not I was like holy shit am I back in business school right now?!
Miles must have given speeches like that at 100 business school graduations, goddamn.
Like, the motherfuckers really do sound like this. We didn't have any billionaires come, but we had a lot of millionaire guest speakers in my classes, and they fucking talk like that.
They all think they're rugged capitalists, but they're just glass onions!
#original#glass onion#it's just. business school prepared me really well to succeed in the business world as a straight white neurotypical#able-bodied cis man with a large network of very wealthy friends and family#I really would have killed it if I wasn't a queer autistic cripple!#even the best teachers seemed incredibly unaware of the enormous privilege that they were assuming in their students when they taught#but they basically presupposed you had infinite energy and savings and a disturbingly large number of my classes were just#lectures about pushing as hard as you can no matter what#they used Starbucks as an example of an admirable case of somebody who persisted in going to 150 investor pitches before being approved#and like. how many people do you know who have enough savings to schedule plan and attend 150 investor pitches?#how many people do you know who could set up even 12 through their connections?#where are those savings coming from? where are those investor pitch meetings coming from? those aren't easy to get!!#but none of this was ever mentioned it was just awesome that the guy kept trying I guess.#I have a sneaking suspicion that if I were to have dug deeper into some of the examples we were given that a lot of those#real life businesses probably started with a big big loan from somebody's parents#I was listening to the show you're wrong about which is a really good podcast and Michael Hobbs was like#anytime you see an article glorifying someone's financial success especially at a young age you should control F for 'parents'#because chances are you will probably see the word 'parents' somewhere next to the words 'million dollar loan'#anyway college is a scam. the community aspect was incredibly cool but I don't see why we as a culture need to only be able to access that#kind of community when we are paying a scam Institution a shitload of money for Educations that aren't helpful for the majority of us#if College was free then people could actually study things that are useful or fun for them#I took most of my courses just to fill out my major too. the point wasn't to learn it was to graduate.#and then it turned out that if you're disabled in the way i am it doesn't matter if you have a college degree!#but I'm sure miles would say I just need to pull myself up by my bootstraps. and that's why I'm glad his life got exploded 😌#andi kept him around for his money - why else would he be there when no one even liked him??#he was the bankroll#one time I swear to god we just had the guy from American Psycho just a real ass Patrick Bateman#it was wild watching that movie later and being like ???? I know this guy!#outside of the actual murder scenes everything in that movie is not exaggerated in the slightest those bitches really are like that#like my parents are not 1% level rich so there'd be no giant loans but they are rich. it'd be stupid to act like i didn't benefit from that
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the number of posts that go around the batfandom that can basically be boiled down to "people aren't writing about the character I want them to write about so I'm gonna shame them"
good lord
#i've never seen this in a fandom before#all those posts that are like 'you don't want jason todd you want helena bertinelli or jpv'#like do i? do i really?#or do YOU just want more fics about helena but you can't be bothered to write them yourself#so you're gonna try and make the people who ARE writing feel bad for liking jason#i guess it's something about the unique structure of a comics fandom#where there's decades and decades of canon that the majority of the fandom isn't diving into#it lets people more familiar with the comics use them like a weapon#but it all boils down to entitlement#if people aren't writing enough helena or jpv or bette or duke or cass or or or#write it yourself#let people write what they wanna write it's none of your business#sorry but i've just seen so many of those posts recently and it's so? obnoxious???#no one needs to justify why a certain character doesn't appear in their fics#or why they focus on a certain relationship to the exclusion of others#no one's getting paid for this!!!! let people have their fun!!!!!!!!#lol apparently i feel very strongly about this i don't remember the last time i posted a rant. don't even remember my tag for it.#amy talks
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"Noooo what if this person is actually cis and only using they/them for clout???" CIS PEOPLE ARE ALSO ALLOWED TO USE THEY/THEM
#m/cc#just found out Demi Lovato went back to using she/her and people are saying she was lying#like. a) nonbinary people can use she/they or just she/her#b) people can have fluid identities or pronouns or experiment with their identities#c) if she's in the spotlight we have no idea what all reactions or pressure she might've gotten to go back to she/her#(including being denied work or just being misgendered all the time anyway)#and d: CIS PEOPLE CAN STILL USE THEY/THEM#like I GET it the concept of 'queer tourism' sucks (though for the record SHE STILL IDENTIFIES AS NONBINARY!!)#but also like even if she was cis the whole time SHE STILL WOULD BE 'ALLOWED' TO USE THEY/THEM#I had a cis woman prof who used they/them to avoid misogynistic biases in academia!#I've known cis male drag queens who used they/them to avoid the question of pronouns when switching in and out of drag!#I've had friends who identify as fully cis but 'my gender/sex/identity is none of your business screw off' they/them#not even mentioning the litany of people who are binary because they don't feel extremely Not Binary (the 'eh sure' cis folks)#the gender nonconforming people for whom not conforming extends to not using those pronouns#the people who use they/them as a personal or political statement#the folks who are questioning and are 'tentatively/theoretically cis'#yelling that cis people aren't 'allowed to' use neutral pronouns is the opposite of 'abolishing gender'#like congrats you're making this space less safe for cis AND nonbinary people! you've helped neither group#anyway. cis people are allowed to try out pronouns and change their mind and use multiple pronouns and do any kind of combo they want#I understand why it's frustrating to see a celebrity 'try out' they/them and go back to she/her when she got tired of it#but that's not a reason to put up this weird gate that makes EVERYONE less safe as a result#it's 3 AM and I'm tired
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Homestuck ships can so easily be "experts warn that polycule could expand to cover all of seattle" style, but then that sucks so much bc nobody else ships it but you
Nepeta: :33 < This is my moirail Equius, and his matesprit Karkat, and Karkat's boyfriend Dave, and their girlfriend Jane
#LIKE HOW PERFECT WOULD THAT SHIP BE#Movie nights would be absolute hell. None of these bitches can shut up for a movie except Equius and#he would be busy holding Nepeta back so he can't take out Karkat's eye over shipping disagreements#like Jane/Dave/Karkat (all dating) is the amazing and (qpr) Nepeta/Equius mixed with (romantic) Equius/Karkat is THE best dynamic#so just throw those together and you get perfection + Equius and Dave's interaction in cannon is great already#I wanna see them all thrown in a hive/house and just see how it works#I wanna see Nepeta‚ Jane‚ Equius‚ and Dave all painting their nails together on the floor (Karkat's off reading a book somewhere nearby)#Nepeta and Jane are the only ones who actually know what they're doing so they end up painting Equius' and Dave's too (respectively)#Equius DOES try to paint his own at first but his fine moter control still isn't that great rn (though he's getting better)#so he keeps getting it all over his actual hand.#When he starts to get anygry and frustrated after so many mistakes is the point where Nepeta offers to help him#He ends up getting nails that /SO/ do not fit his color scheme (bc he didn't actually request any color and she just did what she wanted)#but he doesn't complain. He just looks at her handiwork fondly bc how could he ever be upset over something she so lovingly did for him?#Also Karkat helps Nepeta rearrange her shipping wall. He thinks all of her choices are incorect and complains the whole time‚ but it's one#of those things he'll do while grumbling when it's a ''Hey this is weird‚ though it makes my weirdo happy so fiiiiiiiiiiiine''#Dave annoys Equius to death but they're still friends.#Just with a bit more insults and degrading comments that Equius will apologize for later when things settle down.#I mean it's not like they don't have super fun times between themselves tho. You've seen their conversation when Dave got the broken sword#Also Equius was canonically attracted to Dave during that conversation so like.....#And unrelated to that: If Karkat and/or Dave are ever having a fight with John they bake shit to annoy him#Everyone prefers when Karkat's the one to do it though because Dave ''Doritoes is a food group'' Strider makes the house smell like smoke#while Karkat's baking is only ever sugary goodness#It's an easy way for the God of Wind to lower the house's temperature by like 40° but who the fuck cares when there's cookies and/or cake.#*Jane (<- It think. I'm p sure I put ''John'' on accident but tumblr wont let me see my tags in full anymore so I can't tell)#On second thought‚ I believe Jane only dislikes cake and Betty Crocker stuff specifically#but fuck it we're already in au land so why not add more hcs to the mix#url rambles
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#it's so weeeeeeeird to get my parents' feedback on my songs#they're both very artistic types and i always enjoy sharing my music with them#and they tend to give extensive and always-positive feedback. which is. great?#but also they both have this weird habit of assuming that every narrator of every song is always 'in the right'#and should be respected and agreed with and supported#which... kind of makes me feel like they're assuming every narrator is me?#and that's very unsettling bc most of my fictional narrators are uh. lol. Not Great People#ranging from just kind of weak and craven and avoidant (see: the narrator of a certain recent song)#to full-on violent and cruel and fucked-up in the head#ffs i wrote a song recently from the POV of a creep who fixates on a woman he's never met#and eventually murders her (before which he may or may not have raped her. the lyric is intentionally ambiguous)#like... most of the time i thought it was pretty obvious that i'm telling a story with my songs#but either i'm really failing at accurately portraying all these flawed characters#or else my parents have some other reason for constantly reacting to every song narrator#as if said narrator were Not To Be Criticized#my mum described the narrator of this certain song as 'fearless and self-confident and in control'#and i was like... are we referring to the same song?#the one where the narrator is in a super toxic relationship but just pathetically runs away from their reality#instead of ending the relationship and getting their freedom?#the one where - despite feeling trapped by the other person's love#the narrator is also kind of shamefully addicted to being the worshipped idol on a pedestal?#none of that sounds like those positive-coded words you used#but maybe she assumed the narrator was me and therefore didn't want to say anything negative?#(in which case AARRRRGHHHH how do i make people realize that songwriting is ART NOT AUTOBIOGRAPHY???)#or maybe she visualized herself in the place of the narrator?#(in which case: oof. oh dear. but i suppose that's none of my business. i'm not a therapist)#i just get very tired of my parents' inability to accept the existence of bad things in the world sometimes#but i know it's my own problem: i can't assume people will always 'get' what my lyrics are about#once you put your art out in the world you have to accept that is not entirely yours anymore#people will take it and make it their own until you don't even recognize it anymore
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happy pride y'all i'm the vague approximation of a person piloting a broken down meatmech they/them engaged to a he/they lesbian on manitizer and i'm here to make it everyone else's problem
#rendom thoughts#pride#hope you have good genders and nongenders and attractions of various flavor and other queer identities that are none of our fuckin business#genuinely mean it hope you all have a good time#to all my guys who kinda feel like girls sometimes but are too tired to#to all my girls who just cannot be fucked to shave#to my guys just starting to get body hair for the first time#To those who are so outside of attraction that you reject labels about it#to the people still figuring it out#to the people -still-. still fucking figuring it out.#to the people who haven't started figuring it out at all yet#to the people that have it all figured out#to the people who don't care if it's figured out or not#to the people who have identities shaped by trauma#to the people who couldn't even do it right when they thought they were cis#to intersex people#to bi girls that become pan girls that become ace women that become nonbinary lesbians#to the dykes that become boys that become men that become the fathers they wish they'd had#to those of us who made it#to those of us that didn't#and especially to all the ones who are still trying to make it through#You're loved. You will be loved in the way you need#You may think no one will ever see the parts you say you miss and still think you're worth it but i promise you they are out there#whatever way you need to feel seen#to feel happy#someone is out there for you#yes sexually if that is what you need. yes romantically if that's what you need. even the queer platonic relationships#for my aro/aces who genuinely do not need anyone and really wish people would stop assuming they have to have that kind of attachment#for my aro people who are not ace and really wish everyone would stop assuming they were#and everyone else
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Currently whack-a-moling some really rancid stupid hateful thoughts I keep having
#nattering about nothing#the thoughts in question:#'people who consistently buy lottery tickets and scratch tickets are morons'#'if they're broke and buying them then they're especially stupid'#'I am smarter and more financially responsible bc I don't buy those '#like bitch shut up#literally no one cares#it's none of my business what other people do with their money#who tf am I to judge people#I'm not better just because I don't gamble#let people enjoy things damnit
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i made this instagram post !!! there isn't as big of a community of AAC users on instagram so I thought I would share this on my instagram (@cytochromesea).
EDIT: i got an ask that states that not everyone knows what AAC is which is an oversight on my part, it stands for alternative and augmentative communication!
Image ID:
A light blue background with a rainbow and a cloud and some stars. There is a blue border collie with wings holding an aac tablet that says I love you! Text reads: AAC etiquette. Do’s, Don’ts, and other stuff. By cytochrome sea.
The same background appears in every following slide. Text reads:
AAC is my voice! It is not a toy or accessory
Don’t touch my AAC without my permission
Don’t take my AAC away from me, for any reason (joke, punishment, etc)
Don’t press buttons randomly or flip through my communication cards without permission
How would you like it if I randomly poked you on the mouth and throat (or on your hands if you sign)? It would be unpleasant, so don’t do that to me
Some AAC users can speak sometimes. It is not your business why someone can or cannot talk
Don’t ask questions about why an AAC user cannot speak.
Do let us communicate however is best for us in that moment
Don’t ask us if or when we will be able to speak verbally. It’s not your business
Do not value verbal speech more highly than AAC. Any communication is good communication
Some of us never talk, either, and that’s ok! Those of us who can talk sometimes are not better than those of us who can’t. None of us owe you an explanation for our use of AAC.
Don’t look at my screen until I show you. It feels really invasive!
It feels like when someone is looking at your phone screen over your shoulder, so please don’t do this
This applies to low tech AAC as well, don’t look at someone’s cards or letter board until they show you
You have the dignity of forming your thoughts in your head before you say them, whereas my thoughts are all on display. Please afford me the same dignity that you get automatically.
Don’t shame someone for not being able to speak verbally. It makes us feel horrible
We are real people with thoughts and feelings. Please treat us with kindness.
We are trying our best
Don’t shame someone if their device mispronounces a word. It’s quite literally out of our control.
Other Don’ts. Don’t
Don't Treat an AAC user as childish or stupid for not being able to speak. Our ability to speak does not define our worth
Don't Show frustration at the way someone communicates
Don't Make comments about how fast or slow we communicate
Also don’t…
don't Act surprised when we swear or talk about adult topics like sex, drugs, or violence. We are not pure uwu precious smol beans, we are normal fucking people
don't Assume what is “wrong” with us. There are about a hundred reasons for someone to use AAC and you probably aren’t the expert in any of them.
“OK, so what CAN i do?” im glad you asked! When interacting with an AAC user, DO…
Ask us how we prefer to communicate and support us as you are able
Assume that we are competent
Talk to us with the same respect, tone and vocabulary that you would for any one else
Give us money (this one is a joke)
Understand that AAC grammar isn’t perfect and we are doing our best
Is it rude if…
I can’t understand your device? Not rude! Misunderstandings happen all the time in any conversation, just be patient as you would normally.
I want to complement your AAC? Not rude!
I ask to see your AAC and understand how it works? This isn’t rude if you are already talking about AAC, but don’t ask random strangers this. They don’t owe you an AAC tour.
Thank you for listening! This post is for the community! If you are an AAC user, let me know if I missed something in the comments and I will pin it! I hope you are filled with peace and love and I hope something good happens to you today! End ID.
#chrome barkz#aac#aac user#part time aac user#actually autistic#autism#coughdrop aac#autistic#selective mutism#selectively mute
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