#those people put me through hell and i'm just tryna live my best life

[south-sea]

Fuck them mean anons, tell me more about how Second Chance AU Metal got his hostility coding removed?

small context out of the way first: "hostility coding" in this case just refers to what makes a badnik inherently predisposed to aggression. it's not so much their capacity for violence so much as it is their tendency to attack just about anything/specifically seek to destroy sonic/etc. it, along with their "loyalty programming", is a key component in what makes them subservient to eggman.

to make an exceptionally long story short and more to-the-point: metal's new caretaker is a phenomenal inventor/coding engineer in his own right, and is responsible for identifying and removing it. i'd not put this caretaker on par with eggman or tails, not even remotely close, but he certainly knows his ins-and-outs when it comes to programming. you could say it's integral to his own existence, even.

so when metal falls and shadow brings him in for repairs, this caretaker is dissatisfied with the local engineers' treatment of metal. they clearly don't know what they're doing, and are treating him more like a Thing than a Person, and that pisses the caretaker off to no end. it strikes a personal nerve, even. in the end, this is how he ends up metal's new caretaker at all; he just decides this lil robot is his responsibility now, actually. completely unplanned for, unspoken, and if anyone asks, no, caretaker definitely does not care or have a personal stake in metal's well-being or anything. definitely not.

whether the caretaker wants to admit it or not, he has effectively adopted metal, and takes to fixing him up on his own. due to certain qualities about the caretaker, he's also got a knack for "mentally" syncing up with robots/the like. since metal at this stage is incapable of communication outside of a little sign language, the caretaker just syncs with him semi-regularly to help identify metal's needs/what repairs he's comfortable with, so on.

this caretaker is very big on acknowledging and encouraging a robot's autonomy/personhood, so doing upgrades/tampering with metal's coding without consent is completely out of the question. anything he does or doesn't do to upgrade metal is specifically only ever with metal's permission. (he is also responsible for, much later on, re-enabling metal's voice chip, still left over from his neo metal arc, but previously disconnected.)

over time, these sync-sessions lead to the caretaker finding the hostility programming, as well as this pesky loyalty coding. and with a little programming magic of his own, eventually he manages to overwrite and remove it for good.

it doesn't fundamentally change metal as an individual, but it does free him of eggman's influence, and allows him to make his own decisions for himself going forward.

[necroromantics]

I dont know why people are still on about this shit but yall are tryna get on me about me being "abusive" towards my ex with BPD or some shit? The girl I met in the psych ward. Cuz I will tell yall about that relationship.

I met her when I was 15, and after we got out of the ward we dated for a month. During that entire time she would constantly threaten to hurt herself if I didn't give her all of my time and energy. I never blamed her for having BPD, but it was very hard on me especially as someone who lacks empathy and could not give her the emotional support she needed. I have always been very clear about this, to her and others in my life. Cuz people like to try and cancel me for having ASPD for some reason (???)

I do admit I was not the best boyfriend because I couldn't give her the support she needed. I tried to break things off with her and she smashed my computer, put herself in the hospital, and tried to guilttrip me into staying with her. After I finally broke shit off she would harass me for 3 fucking years afterwards, making alt accounts, shittalking my gf, etc. So before you try and get on me for not liking my ex maybe try and hear out the fact she would actively emotionally manipulate me constantly and make my life a living hell if I didn't give her what she wanted. I understand this comes from her very severe BPD, and also her just being weird outside of any mental issues she had, which is why she was in the psych ward in the first place.

My mother has BPD, so I've grown up taking care of her and dealing with her symptoms firsthand. I know very well, and I am very open about, my inability to handle those with BPD who have bad emotional regulation due to my lack of empathy for them. It doesn't pair well. Thats not my fault in the slightest?

That doesn't mean I'm abusive towards people with BPD or ableist towards them. It means I'm self-aware that I don't have the mental capacity to support those with BPD in ways that they need sometimes. I know that my ex was not a good example of those with BPD. I have many friends with BPD, I'm the FP of both my close friend and my girlfriend, and I do my best to help them out.

My current girlfriend deals with BPD and our relationship is very healthy. So for you to try and reach and say I'm abusive towards borderlines out of fucking nowhere when my past relationship was full of my ex actively harassing and threatening me, and my current one I put my heart and soul into, doesn't make sense at all.

Keep reaching though. People who actually know me, know this. Why do yall care so much about people with BPD and then jump through hoops to dehumanize someone with ASPD?

I don't owe anyone perfection. It is not my responsibility to live up to anyones standards while I spend a lot of my mental energy trying to recover and improve on my own mental health issues. Stay mad, just leave me out of it. And also thanks for victim blaming, really helps me out (sarcasm)

[thekidsarentalright]

hiii atlas! as u know i am a wams girlie before i am anything else sooo if u want (ONLY if u want) could u do an analysis of wams? i’d love to look into ur mind for this song :3

also ily mwah mwah <333

hiiiiiii spi!!! i am so glad u asked me to do this because god i missed analyzing stuff and this one was VERY fun and interesting to do. so, without further adieu, under the cut is my analysis of wams!!!

as i tend to like to do w my analysis’ (analyses? whatever fksjdhf), we’re gonna start off with looking at the first verse and breaking it down as it needs to be from there, with wams starting off with: “I'm a young one stuck in the thoughts / Of an old one's head / When all the others were just stirrin' awake / I'm tryna trick myself to fall asleep again”

This entire first verse is very cohesive so is best to be analyzed together. to me, this is very much a commentary on the narrator’s loss of innocence, and this continued theme in the song of juxtaposition (here being the juxtaposition of young and old, others and myself), and loneliness too. essentially what i believe this first verse is trying to say is that our narrator is young, they know they’re still young, but they’ve been so weathered by the world, by their life experiences, that they feel their thoughts, their mind, is older than their body. not necessarily that they have an old soul at all, but more that they’ve just experienced and gone through so much that it’s altered their thoughts, maybe their view of the world, even. the second two lyrics continue to describe this, with the narrator saying that all other people are just beginning their lives and experiencing things, maybe just beginning true aging that can alter a person’s views and perceptions, while they’re trying to ‘fall asleep’, to shut his mind off, to quiet those thoughts and maybe even try to go back to where all the others just woke up from- a place of innocence and lack of world-view altering experience. 

“My head’s in Heaven, my soles are in Hell / Let’s meet in the purgatory of my hips and get well” is the pre-chorus that continues to solidify the juxtapositions seen throughout this song- with the obvious one here being Heaven and Hell. These lyrics are also continuing a commentary on the state of our narrator and their perception of the world and themself, with this essentially saying- their head, their thoughts (once again referencing their thoughts that have been altered and changed from innocent to not!) are only well intentioned, they wants to do his best and do good, their intentions/wants/hopes/dreams are in alignment with being Heavenly, approved by God. But one could interpret their soles being in Hell perhaps meaning their actions do not necessarily align with this, their Thoughts are good but what they Act Out is not as well intentioned or meaning. meanwhile, because their head is in heaven and feet are in hell, their hips are in purgatory- a neutral ground of sorts, where people go immediately after death to be purified before going to heaven. however, the narrator is dirtying the idea of purgatory by alluidng to sex with meeting in the purgatory of their hips to ‘get well’. with this, i think the narrator is absolutely trying to say that, to cope with their struggles, with the fact they want to act in one way but actually act in another, that they’re so young but feel so weathered by the world, they use sex. it’s a relatively common theme in fob songs, XO being a major example of using things like one night stands and sex to cope with heavy emotions and struggles, and i don’t think this lyric is at all immune from that theme. 

the chorus is rather interesting to me, with it reading, “Hurry, hurry / You put my head in such a flurry, flurry / Oh freckle, freckle, what makes you so special? / Oh, what makes you so special? / I'm gonna leave you / Oh, I'm gonna teach you / How we're all alone / How we're all alone”, and here i think the narrator, after spending the song before this detailing how damaged and weathered by the world, how they have sex just to escape their heavy feelings, is commenting on a person who perhaps, for once, actually helps ease the pain. that’s much more conjecture than actual hard analysis, but the lyrics clearly do lead me to believe that! with how they say this person, this muse, puts their head in a flurry and is almost accusatorily questioning what makes them so special. what makes them help our narrator feel Different than other people have made them feel. it’s something unfamiliar and uncomfortable to our narrator, and they respond much like an untrustworthy wild animal would towards kindness- lashing out. they’re gonna leave this person, they’re gonna teach them how we’re all alone. not only is the narrator leaving this person alone, but they’re forcing more loneliness upon themself because it’s what they’re used to. it’s comfortable to be lonely. plus, if they view everybody as alone, then they won’t be so othered from everyone else.

however, after our narrator pushes this person away, the next verse juxtaposes that with saying, “Guild me, build me, it's your club, so / Let me in (let me in) / Knowing how heartwarming it is inside / Your skin”. though this could be seen to be about a person, perhaps even the same person they were just talking about, i want to propose that the muse is shifted here. this song, to me, is really just account the narrators struggles and vices in life, and isn’t specifically about one muse or person at all. i feel, now, the narrator is discussing fame, or even more broadly just a desire for attention from anyone, not a specific person. even after forcing loneliness on themself, they don’t want to be alone. “Guild me, build me, it’s your club, so / Let me in” is showing the narrator’s desire to be included in something, to be built up by other people (turning themself into whatever others need them to be, even?), to get more attention and love that they desperately desire. they want this so bad that they want to be under their skin, which is commonly also a phrase used to describe when someone is annoyed/annoying someone, which Also says to me that they’re SO desperate for this love and attention that they’ll even go to lengths such as being irritating just to get it. 

until the outro, the rest of the song just repeats what we’ve already gone over with the pre-chorus and chorus, with the next new lyrics being the outro which says, “Mama, if we don't take the medication / We won't sleep for days, we won't sleep for days / And Mama, if we pray to the lord, oh / Does he sing on a stage? Does he sing on a stage? / We waste it all in the back of a long dark car / And I'm a sunshine machine / Uh, I want to get stuck, I want to get stuck / And be golden in your memory”, which is a lot so we’re gonna go break it down a bit more!

“Mama, if we don’t take the medication / We won’t sleep for days, we won’t sleep for days” is how the outro starts, with this making me think it could mean two things: to take it literally, they are just factually stating that if medication is not taken, sleep will not happen. this is just continuing to detail what the narrator has been the entire song, their problems and struggles with themself and the world. they struggle and suffer so much they need medication, whether this medication is literal as already discussed or more metaphorical/symbolic. what i mean by that is, maybe they don’t mean literal sleeping meds but instead mean they need what they use to cope- like sex, as was referenced earlier. or just the general things they do to get that surface-level love and attention they crave. i believe this also is such a heavy callback to the very beginning of the song, “When all the others were just stirrin' awake / I'm tryna trick myself to fall asleep again”, where the narrator is Now showing what they do to try and trick themself to fall asleep again.

“and Mama, if we pray to the lord, oh / Does he sing on a stage? Does he sing on a stage?” is probably the hardest to analyze lyric in this whole song, as i can’t say specifically what pete meant by this when he wrote it as it’s a sort of vague reference, very open to interpretation, i suppose. for my purposes, i feel as though this is the narrator wondering if they pray, maybe for a better life or less suffering or what have you, will god respond? will god respond in a grandiose way, singing on a stage, to me, representing god responding in a way that is clear and obvious (and helpful). i also feel this could be the narrator referencing finding solace and hope and help in music, asking if they pray to God, does God respond through things people use to cope, like with music. though i think this is meant to be interpreted less religiously than that sounds, with me more meaning if they pray, will they find hope in the things they use to cope and love, like in music. “We waste it all in the back of a long dark car / And I'm a sunshine machine”, is once again a lyric that i’m going to offer two interpretations for, both detailing the coping mechanisms the narrator has been referencing in this outro before now: sex and drugs. with sex, the narrator is saying they waste “it all” (themselves, their worth, their life) in the back of a limo (also a reference to fame!), with the sunshine machine part being more sarcastic with this interpretation, as clearly doing these depraved things to cope with life are not actually making them happy or sunshiney. with drugs, LSD used to be incredibly commonly called ‘sunshine’ (i also feel the need to mention that ‘sunshine’ is used to refer to drugs in 27 as well, which supports this being the ‘right’ interpretation) meaning the narrator could be saying they’re literally wasted in the back of a limo, while wasting themself and their life away, doing sunshine to make themself feel good in this depraved, conflicting, harrowing life they’re leading. the song ends with these lyrics, “I want to get stuck, I want to get stuck / And be golden in your memory”, a simple way to end such a complex and desperately sad song. the narrator, here, is essentially saying that they want to get stuck in your head, whether this be a literal fourth wall break to be saying they wanna get stuck in our, the fans, heads, or the former muse spoken about in this song, or just people’s head’s, broadly and unspecific. believe what you want, i can’t decide which fits best for you! and regardless, they want to get stuck in your head and become golden in your memory- golden, commonly meaning expensive and perfect, something to be sought after and revered. this absolutely fits with what we’ve heard from the narrator of the song so far- they just want to be loved and to have attention, they’re so horribly lonely and force themself to be lonely because it’s all they know. they’ve gone through so much, they’re so beaten and battered, they just want to be golden to somebody. they just want to be special to somebody, even if they'll end up pushing that person away. because as much as they want that, we're all alone, and that's all they think we'll ever be.

[loverepo]

"Nipsey inspired me that time is of the essence. So don't treat it like it isn't... you gotta go for it. If it's on your heart, then you gotta go get it"

- Big Sean explaining his special release of Deep Reverence with Nipsey Hussle. In this personal review, Big Sean talks about his gains and losses and how they were conveyed through the song. Some things that he said that I wanted to highlight:

"I realize that it's just all perspective sometimes...

A doctor told me that there's two types of stress: DISTRESS and YOU-STRESS. DISTRESS is that enables you and slows you down and makes you not perform at your highest. But YOU-STRESS.. pushes you to limits that your body wouldn't normally go to if you were just comfortable. I felt like I was under a lot of both of those... That YOU-STRESS really came through for me and helped me focus and push...

life doesn't always go how you want it to go. When you give it up to God... you give it up to the universe and that is working with you... it's for a reason... I have to remember what I'm asking for.. for me to be the best version of myself. For God to work with me.. to show me what I need to do.. to live in my purpose. I was just venting at the time, you know? And like me and my dad had some conversations...

And I had tears in my eyes for sure...

I feel like my city put me on, period. It's a place where you gotta earn people's support... it's a tough crowd in Detroit."

Some of Big Sean's lyrics from the song resonates with me deeply:

"And I got pressure on me

Seven days a week, it's game seven on me

Life'll test you out, you live through that, that's testimony

Givin' them hell, but how in the hell I got all these blessings on me?

...

Lookin' at my life story, God's a good author.

...

Get you one shot in life, you might not be able to reload

So advanced, I need all my advances

Bro hit me up for cash like we didn't have the same chances

My dad hit me up like, "Why I don't live in a mansion?"

I'm tryna focus, but baby girl keep holdin' my mind for ransom

And that ain't how it supposed to be, this man Hov got to a B

And his name SEAN too, I almost felt like it was me

Damn, I realized all my setbacks were inside of me

In high school, I learned chemistry, biology

But not how to cope with anxiety

...

If it ain't Nipsey blue, it's Detroit blue

This that Detroit 2, I'm bringin' it back to my hood like d-boys do

Gone!"

Big Sean's personal review:

The song & music video:

[actuallyunreal]

Sorry if this has been asked before, but do u have any songs u associate with ur versions of the ew guys?

ahoy there! what a fun question!! :D :D :D

so i actually have a playlist for my au at least with a couple songs for each character. :3 i have to add some for the neighbors, but hey :3 (uhhh it dawned on me that you just asked for them in general and not specifically my au but honestly? i dont make too much of a distinction - but still, my bad!)

fun tip: everyones got at least one song from death of a bachelor by p!atd but i didnt put them all on the playlist because then it would be like…. 90% p!atd and thats just silly

anyway heres my ~best of~ picks or whatever!

OH ALSO if youre not into 💔😈garbage weepy edgy boys😈💔 i would not recommend reading further <3 i love silly boys but my song picks are always dramatic because i have no self control. 😊

edd: my ordinary life - the living tombstone; They tell me that I'm special, I smile and shake my head I'll give them stories to tell friends about the things I said They tell me I'm so humble, I say, "I'm turning red" They let me lie to them and don't feel like they've been misled They give so much to me, I'm losing touch, get me? Served on a silver platter, ask for seconds, they just let me wrecking ball - mother mother; It takes a dedicated hand To put it through the wall You gotta wanna break the heart Of all those pretty porcelain dolls You gotta want to be the drummer in the band You gotta want to be a battering ram You gotta see the artistry In tearing the place apart with me baby dont threaten me with a good time - p!atd Champagne, cocaine, gasoline And most things in between I roam the city in a shopping cart A pack of camels and a smoke alarm This night is heating up Raise hell and turn it up Saying "If you go out you might pass out in a drain pipe" Oh, yeah, don't threaten me with a good time

tom: bad decisions - redhook; Okay, now please don't think I'm tryna glamorise all of the shit that I despise about myself 'Cause my mental health is tenuous at best from all the pressure and the stress of other people's expectations I'm crushed by the weight, so I self-medicate to escape Then I just make more mistakes, can't break this stupid cycle of self-hate dread in my heart - mother mother; Oh I wonder what it's like to be the type who doesn't burn Ya the kind who fights the good fight Not the kind you'll find fisti-fuckin-cuffin' in the dirt death of a bachelor - p!atd Do I look lonely? I see the shadows on my face People have told me I don't look the same Maybe I lost weight, I'm playing hooky with the best of the best Pull my heart out my chest, so that you can see it too

tord: heroes - emmy curie; So you wanna be the hero, kid, be adored by everyone 'Cause no one can forget you when you're the reason they have won You want the fame, the attention, but more than anything You're scared of fading to the background like you didn't mean a thing anime intro - public theatre; I couldn't help but notice your under eyes You were looking pretty skinny last night Are you even fighting I couldn't help but notice your little lies You keep saying that you'll be just fine Are you even trying Anymore now house of memories - p!atd Baby, we built this house on memories Take my picture now, shake it 'til you see it And when your fantasies become your legacy Promise me a place in your house of memories

matt: emperor's new clothes - p!atd Welcome to the end of eras Ice has melted back to life Done my time and served my sentence Dress me up and watch me die If it feels good, tastes good It must be mine Dynasty decapitated You just might see a ghost tonight Double, double, double down And if you don't know now you know inferno - rain paris; Terribly terrible, she's a villain One as sweet as caramel, she's my saint Think I'm getting butterflies, but it's really Something telling me to run away

[batarangsoundsdumb]

guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.

For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell

fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one

i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft

that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you

tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again

as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams jason: don't you dare put on weird shit tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)

hear me out hear me out, red hood stans 🤝 nightwing stans t h i g h s

holy shit yes.

SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe

superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'

does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom

it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.

I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?

as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)

somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.

and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!

babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence

babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to

JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT

again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song

The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian

oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag

soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"

i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage

Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?

don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)

What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk

stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.

This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it

This is canon now @nctxrejects

lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out

idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family

bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another

I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.

yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.

Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings

smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn

Duke was adopted by Bruce?

not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?

True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live

true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?

apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome

ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.

ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut

lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash

oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man

while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.

dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie

magnum hot take

hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth

thank you 😘🌷 (@spacebarsidecar)

why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???

what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones

oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no

I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked

yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends

"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years

i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.

BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them

lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.

I am in love with your posts your honour thank you

omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?

The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST: 1) clark 2) lois 3) oliver 4) dinah 5) john

Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian

yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

and what about it?

when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST

oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat

Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes

lmao i do too

I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it

he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.

you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank

babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)

ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something

that's a very good vocabulary upgrade

somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”

steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.

Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you. Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious

babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks

In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97

lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)

You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.

bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers

How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?

horrible, next question.

I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid

yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

superman: so what do you do in your free time? batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time

bruce and oliver be like boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)

lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)

Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje

he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'

I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??

i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way

SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed

'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'

i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam

fair enough

[andymieintus]

Oh my God 4 TIMES? Talk about all of them! Or just your favorite parts I'm sorry if you don't want to

omg okay

im gonna put this under a read more because theres four different stories and theyre quite long but basically this is the story of my budding acquaintanceship with andy mientus

just stick with me here because they keep getting better with each time

so the first time i met him was at the bway flea market in september and it was just a quick lil meet and greet thing with him and michael and tbh michael was SO NICE and i was SO NERVOUS that i don’t even think i made eye contact with andy once

then the second time, this is where it starts getting wild (this was less than a month ago wtf)

so i went to go see wicked in orlando and after the show i walked around the building to find the stagedoor. and once i found it i went back to my car, which was in a parking garage about a five-minute walk away. once i got there, i grabbed the gift i had gotten for andy (i don’t wanna say what it was because yall will think im ridiculous for buying this for him but lets just say it was a gift he had expressed wanting and it was vvvvv expensive) and then i walked back to the theater. so i was walking to the stagedoor when i saw the group of people that had been there earlier walking towards me (away from stagedoor) so i was like “oh no did i miss him oh no oh no oh no” but then i looked behind the group of people and ANDY WAS RIGHT THERE WALKING TOWARDS ME

so naturally im like !!!!!!! and hes just texting and walking and im like do i approach him?? do i not approach him??? but i wasn’t about to let my anxiety stop me from meeting him so i was like “oh! andy! hi!” and he looked up at me and he’s real cute and he was like “oh, hi!” and then he walked over to me

and i gave him his gift and he was super gracious about it it was super sweet and then i asked how he was and he was like “i’m good, i’m feeling a bit under the weather right now” and i told him to feel better ya know things like that and we got a picture it was cute

and so it was kinda just the right moment for us to part ways so we were about to do that when it turns out we were going in the same direction. i was going back to the parking garage and he was gonna wait on his uber and so we ended up walking side by side

so he was like “so how did u like the show?” and i was like wWELL because i had missed the first act due to forgetting my tickets at home and having to go back and get them because im a dumbass and i told him this and he goes “OH NO and most of my parts are in act one!!!!” and he was laughing and my heart melted i just love him and i was like IM SORRY but u were still great in march of witch hunters and everything and he was like awww thnx

and so then we said our goodbyes and he thanked me again for the gift and he was like “well hopefully you’ll get to see the show again sometime” and i was like “oh yeah definitely” knowing full well that i already had tickets for four more dates in tampa

so then we parted ways and he was just standing there and i was standing at a crosswalk like twenty feet away and i had to wait for it to say i could go and i just. we made eye contact it was awkward but then it said i could walk and i RAN

but IT GETS BETTER so i went back to my car and tweeted him thanking him for stopping and everything and then i started driving home and i called my best friend to rant to her about the whole thing

so after i hung up the phone all i saw on my screen was a twitter notif that said

Andy Mientus

Also, I’m sorry if I was a little despondent- my stomach is

and i FLIPPED OUT and checked my twitter and he had followed me and everything and i immediately called my best friend back and was like like WHAT DO I DO and she was like “well u could start by reading the dm” 

so basically andy had opened my gift and he was FREAKING OUT idk if i wanna post the full thing on here because ya know privacy but he was so sweet and he had sent me this paragraph saying that the gift was “crazy generous” and he was like r u sure u don’t want to keep it for urself??? and then he said “No one has ever given me something so generous before so I’m like, panicking lol” and then he apologized for if he seemed tired because his stomach was acting up, which he said hes “a wuss about”

so i literally pulled over to respond to this boy’s goddamn dm and i was like no u keep it i got it for u things like that and he responded saying wow thank u and then he told me that he wanted to post about it everywhere but he didn’t want people to think they should spend a bunch of money on him to buy a shoutout and then like five minutes later he complimented my art and the stones i got him as well and i just responded like omg no i never expected u to post about them and even if u do u don’t have to say it was a gift or anything

so that was the first night and im still so… shook

but the third time i met him got even better,,, (this was this past tuesday)

so i went to go see wicked in tampa and earlier andy had tweeted me saying that yes he was gonna be on and he was gonna stagedoor that night so i was hype

so after the show i went down to stagedoor and there were literally only two other guys there. and the stagedoor is kinda like,,, its a clear glass door and you can see into this lobby area from outside and i saw andy in the lobby area and he was talking to like a security guard or smth and i was like ohshitohshitohshit because i knew he was about to come out and i think its natural to get nervous when things like this happen

so he finally walked out and he went up to the two guys standing a little bit away from me and he goes “hey man.” and they talked for approximately 2 seconds and then andy looked at me and he just…….. okay andy has this face he does where he get really excited and he opens his mouth and his eyes get really big its like a mix between the :o and the :D face and HE LOOKED AT ME AND DID THAT

so the next thing i know, andy mientus is walking towards me with his arms open and he’s hugging me and im hugging him and my face is in his jacket and hes like “HI!!! how are you??!” and im like “IM SO GOOD”

and he says “so u finally saw act one” and i was like “i did” and he was like “howd you like it?” and i was like IT WAS SO GOOD and i told him that hes actually a pretty good dancer and his eyes get all big and he puts his hand over his heart and he goes “REALLY?” and i was like ya!! and he told me “oh my god thank u so much i had to work so hard to make it look that way” it was the purest thing

and idk how it came up but i told him that i was coming back to see the show on friday (which was like,, two days ago now oh my god) and he goes “friday? ur seeing it on friday?” and i was like “yea friday night”  and he goes “…….would youuuuu wanna go on a tour backstage with me that night?? because we do this thing with broadwaycares where the actors give people who donate a certain amount tours backstage and if u wanna just tag along we can just hang out”

and at this point my brain is going a mile a minute and i was like “omg yeah sure” and i probably said “that’s awesome” and “that’s so nice” at least eight times each

and he was like “okay great! u can just walk in through the stagedoor that night and tell those guys in there that ur with me and they should get it all figured out” and i was like…….. this is my life now

so that was about it for my third time but THIS FRIDAY was my most recent encounter with mr. mientus and whew what a story

on my way to the show, andy dmed me again on twitter and he was like “whats ur name for the list tonight?” and i told him while freaking out because not only did he remember that i was coming but he remembered my twitter and then he was like okay cool i don’t think you’ll need ur ID or anything and then he sent me another message that said “Enjoy the show and see you after!”

so after the show, i was nervous as hell and he dmed me right after he had gotten offstage apparently and it just said “Come through the stage door” like yes andy i know but i didn’t actually see the dm until i was going home lol

so i walked to the stagedoor and i saw andy in the back of the lobby area just chillin and im just now realizing that he was there to pick me up aw and so i walked in and the security guard at the desk next to me started FREAKING OUT he was like “WHO ARE YOU YOURE NOT ALLOWED IN HERE” and andy started walking over and he was like “oh no shes with me” and i kinda just gestured towards him and the guard let us go lol

so we walked back to where andy had been standing which was near some doors and he goes “hey” and i was like “hey!” and then he opened his arms again and i thought to myself “i love my life” before hugging him and then he called out to the security guard that had just yelled at me and he was like “hey can we get buzzed in” (referring to them opening the doors for us to let us go backstage) and he said to me “thanks for coming!” and i was like “thanks for having me” and apparently the security guard had not heard him earlier so andy waves his arm over towards the desk and shouts “HEY CAN WE GET BUZZED IN” but then someone opened the door from the inside so he was like “oh! nevermind lets go on a touuuuur follow me”

then we went through the doors and he was like “so this is backstage” and hes like walking in front of me and HE WALKS SO FAST I WAS TRYNA KEEP UP and usually im the fast walker but no and then he showed me the hair and makeup department since the door was open and then we went through some double doors (he held the door open for me what a gentleman) and suddenly i was on stage right backstage of wicked

so the other people who were supposed to be going on the tour had to be gathered up and guided backstage and everything so me and andy had time to talk for like literally ten minutes and we talked about where hes currently living and the election (i talked about politics with andy mientus rt ur goals) and the show and all of the huge props around us and things like that we went over a variety of topics

then all of the people who were going on the tour arrived and there were probably like 8 of them and they all just walked in on me and andy talking and i wasn’t even mad that they interrupted us i was like…… i feel like i shouldn’t be here but it was all good

so i wont go through the whole tour but just know that andy is THE CUTEST TOUR GUIDE most of the people on the tour had literally no clue about anything in theatre (andy had explained to me that this would probably happen) so he explained stuff really well and he knows so much about wicked and the show and im never gonna watch it the same way again

so once the tour was over (it was probably like twenty minutes long) he was like “well i think that’s it! thank u guys so much for coming and donating and seeing the show i hope u liked my tour” and then he was like “now im gonna walk u guys out to stagedoor… maybe you’ll get to sign some autographs for people” and everyone laughed but i was just like ur stupid

and then he led us out but on the way he showed us the wardrobe department because it was open and the sign in sheet and stuff so that was cool and then we got to the door to enter the lobby area so he was saying bye to all of us and holding the door open to let us all out and when i was going out he looked at me and went “hey” and i was like “hey” and he went in for a big hug it was the best moment of my life and singlehandedly saved my 2017 and he was like “i’ll see ya” and i was like “oh im coming back im seeing the show again next weekend” and he was like “oh okay great!!! i’ll see u then!” hes the sweetest lil angel and then i left so yeah that’s been my life as of late

tldr; ive hugged andy mientus three separate times and he knows who i am and hes the most kind person you will ever meet and i can’t wait to see him again