#those names though.....
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the girls may not be fully peaking but at least now they accept that they're girls 🥰
#those names though.....#i went by a traditionally male name for a while and it really stuck tbh i still get called it or a shortened version of it#but like... sox?? thunder??? L from death note???? girl 😭
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so like is it specifically planets the solver craves or can it get by with just eating dirt off the ground
#thank you those people in that one server i havent been there long enough to remember names#for bringing up the idea#is very funny#god i have genuinely no idea what to do for n's dialogue boxes. cannot think of a gimmick whatsoever#suprise attack by the artstyle change. i am imploding right now#cannot settle on any style whatsoever. genuinely changing by the hour#so strangely proud of ns hand in this one i dont know what it is about it but i really like it#hats still pisses me off though. why so difficult to draw#murder drones#art#murder drones uzi#murder drones n#serial designation n#murder drones cyn#or its#murder drones absolutesolver#who knows at this point#murder drones skig#still fighting tooth and nail for the tail to be named skig. it fits so well#iz go attack glitch headquarters for me#i think its late enough i can keep this unspoilered
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Apparently much-needed reminder that reposting artists' art (by saving the images or screenshotting them and reuploading them yourself) on other platforms without the artists' expressed permission and without credit is theft and an insult to their passion and craft. You are profiting (in views, in attention, in feedback) from someone else's work and ideas, who do not get that feedback for sharing their creation.
If you are an art reposter, you are a thief and I have no respect for you.
#learn basic internet etiquette i am begging but also holding a knife. yes i'm mad. more about others than myself.#do you know how many artists i have seen leave social media because their art started being reposted all over?#tip: way too fucking many#i've had many people tell me about people reposting my art on tiktok#no one ever asked to repost my art on tiktok. ever. they just save super fried bad crunchy jpegs of my art and repost them#they get 20k likes and don't even bother naming me#also a reason i started signing my name more legibly and why my blog web address is always there but apparently no one can even read that#a few people got an ok for translations on other platforms though#i'm going to be annoying with this post and reblog it a few times to try to catch the people who apparently need to be told#tiny skk adventures#nawy's comics#nawy's doodles#apparently those are reposters' favourites so here look at this
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Watermelon peck
#trolls#dreamworks trolls#trolls poppy#trolls branch#broppy#trolls fanart#insert holiday in harmony giggle#watermelon!!!#trolls and giant fruit have a chokehold on me#troll sizing in general is so fun and whimsical#one full watermelon is probs enough to feed a whole troll village haha#they're eating one of those small melons here though#maybe a small melon is for parties/events and like the pops eat one entire big watermelon for a holiday#my art <3#excuse the messiness#btw thank you everyone who has interacted with my posts so far :)#so nice and encouraging <3#hopefully this isnt fuzzy#click on pic for slightly better quality pls#idk what to name this piece tbh
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i’ve been thinking about the pokémon memes where it’s like playing off of that one quote that’s like ‘truly strong trainers should try to win using their favorites’ and it’s like ‘ok well my favorite is [something blatantly overpowered]’ and it’s got me curious. how many people genuinely love pokémon that also happen to be really strong competitively?
so if you will. pick a favorite pokémon (for any reason! whether it’s cuteness or strength or nostalgia etc. no judgment) then go here https://www.smogon.com/dex/sv/pokemon/ and look it up
(you’ll see something that looks like this. see where it says tier and has some gibberish afterwards? don’t worry if you don’t know what that means but tell me what the letters/words are)
also if there are multiple forms and the distinction matters to you make sure you get the right one lol cuz the tiering can be different
edit: forgot to mention i mean specifically in SV! which is what comes up by default. rip every pokémon that either isn’t in SV (it’ll say ‘national dex’) or used to be better but has since fallen off relative to new pokémon
#pokémon#pokemon#pokeposting#if you want to know what those terms mean#AG stands for anything goes. very few pokémon have ever been in here#the absolute elite. too powerful too broken#Ubers is below that it’s like the normal ban zone where most overpowered pokémon go#OU stands for overused it’s like the ‘standard’ top tier#below that is UU (underused) then RU (rarely used) then ZU (zero used) then PU (this is a pun. pee-yew. because they stink)#LC is little cup which is basically Baby Fight™️ and NFE is not fully evolved so like babies and teenagers basically#and anything with BL (ban list) at the end is like a weird in between state#where they’re too powerful for the tier they were supposed to be in but not good enough for anyone in the tier above them to want to use em#if you’re thinking these are insane ridiculous terms then i agree#slight edit i think i initially got the order of ZU and PU mixed up. so many tiers with negative mean names…#i fixed it in the poll though#that is to say PU is above ZU#and if you’re curious how tiers work. the tier a pokémon is ‘in’ refers to the lowest it can possibly go#but you can use it in any of the higher tiers if you want to (it’s just more likely to get stomped on)#so like if a pokémon is OU that means you can’t use it in UU or RU or NU etc etc#but you can use it in Ubers if you want in addition to OU#most people i believe play in OU bc there’s arguably the greatest game balance#you’re allowed to use powerful pokémon but it isn’t as run wild go crazy no rules as Ubers#i mean even Ubers has rules but. fewer of em#AG has only one rule and that’s ‘you can’t force a standstill endless battle’ lol. otherwise it’s the wild west#OU is popular bc it’s a fine mix of rules that keep the game fair fun and competitive#and pokémon that are powerful and fun to use in battle#but if you have a different style you might like playing in a lower tier where everybody is super weak#*syndrome voice* but if everyone is weak then no one is…#it’s all about scale it’s all relative#edit: KNEW i was forgetting some nuance. some pokémon are stuck in the past aka not available in SV so they’ll say ‘national dex’ oops
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You’re making a lot of promises there Chara…
Part 24 || First || Previous || Next
—Full Series—
I enjoyed doing this little Flashback scene. We’ll be back to our regularly scheduled freakout session soon. Having monochrome color is very nice.
Here is a gif of Chara spilling their water because YES. And I spent way too long on it :)
Wow technology is so cool.
#Frisk is finally name dropped!! WOOHOOO#Az and Chara are my Little Lily bugs and I love writing their interactions#they still have a lot to learn about each other though. it’s only been a few months!#the tiny nudge made me happy#untitled goose game is just chillin in the corner#if you want lol. I ain’t cannonizing anything there#gif#I’m really happy with all this. I was planning on making almost 7 pages but with some help from friends I decided to cut it down a lot#i’ve also really been wanting to solidify all of their pronouns for a while now but couldn’t find a suitable time#anyways…I still have some vacation time planned so the next update will also be somewhat delayed#thanks to all those who are still loving the story#much love#bread#art#deltarune#deltarune chara timeline#chara#Asriel#Kris#my art
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All's Fair in Love & Chaos
1st instalment ( II - III - IV)
a short blurb style mini-series in collaboration with @unstablereader no real plot, just vibes and comedy.
Synopsis: soulmate au, everyone's soulmate's initials become visible on their wrist when the last person in the bond 'comes of age' (I've left the age ambiguous because their may be mature insinuations later on in the story). As luck would have it, and much to everyone's horror; it appeared that you, Barty Crouch Junior, and Sirius Black were soulmates
poly!DeathStar x fem!reader
The day that every witch, wizard, and wix alike waited their whole life for finally came for Sirius Black; the day that their soulmate’s initials became visible on your wrist.
The mark becomes visible when the last person of your soulmate bond comes of age. For example, much to Lily’s chagrin, the initials J.F.P became visible on her wrist on March 27th, as did the initials L.J.E on James’ wrist.
Much to Sirius’ chagrin, on June 25th, the initials R.A.B became visible on Remus’ wrist, as did the initials R.J.L on Regulus’.
And so it went for the rest of his friends and classmates.
Except for poor Pete, whose wrist adorned the initials of someone who - after much research and triple-checking by all of their friends - clearly didn’t go to Hogwarts.
Sometimes, however, soulmate bonds took place between more than two people, and though it was possible for it to happen among all blood statuses, the odds were higher amongst Pureblood’s.
So when Sirius woke up this morning to a weird burning/itching feeling on his wrist, only to see not one, but two sets of initials, he was feeling pretty chuffed.
That dissolved very quickly, however.
“No…. nononononononono.” He muttered in agony as he saw two people approaching him; one looking almost as horrified as he did and one looking awfully sinister.
“Well, well, well.” Barty Crouch Junior drawled as he made his way to the Gryffindor table, dragging you over with him - seemingly without your consent – by your arm. “I thought it must have been a mistake when I woke up to find out I had a Son Of a Bitch as a soulmate, but alas; here you are.”
“This can’t be.” Sirius whispered disbelievingly, causing Barty to cackle maniacally.
“Oh, but it is.”
Any words that Sirius had died on his lips at the wheezing of his younger brother.
You, Barty, and Sirius all turned to see Regulus hanging from Remus’ shoulder as he clutched his stomach.
“I…I – oh Salazar, I think I finally believe in gods! All of them! Oh…” He stuttered in between fits of laughter.
Sirius looked between him and his supposed best mate, but Remus only looked at Regulus as if Regulus was his most beautiful when he was laughing at the expense of his brother.
Bastards; the both of them.
“Happy birthday, Y/N!” James offered, his face clearly trying to smile though it took on a pained expression in comissery.
“Thank you…” You accepted timidly, eyes darting between the group of people you suddenly found yourself emmersed in.
“Now look what you’ve done, Black.” Barty sneered as if Sirius’ last name was a dirty word. “You’ve worried our poor girl.” He cooed as he pulled you tight into your side, causing you to squeak in surprise.
“I hardly think I’m the one worrying her.” Sirius sneered back.
Barty’s face turned stony. “Just what are you insinuating?”
“Uhm, that you’re certifiably insane?” Sirius responded simply.
“Oh, come now; Junior’s not that bad.” Remus tried to reason; his boyfriend still hanging limply off his shoulder as he tried (and failed) to repress his laughter.
“Not that bad?” Sirius screeched incredulously. “Did you not see what he did to Crawley?”
Peter snorted at that. “Mate, you literally did the same thing to Snape.”
“That was you?” Barty asked in surprise, looking Sirius up and down skeptically.
“Sure was.” James answered on his behalf.
“Huh.” Barty chuckled in thought. “That’s where I- never mind that. I only did that because he groped Y/N’s arse.”
Sirius felt his own face turn stony as he turned his attention to you. “Is this true?”
You seemed to pale at the attention. “Well…yes? But-”
“Ha ha. Black’s just as bad as me.” Barty sing-songed from beside you, looking at Sirius with a look of faux innocence.
Sirius heard a thump, and he looked over to see Remus looking behind the bench where Regulus had apparently fallen in his fit of laughter.
“I – I’ve died, yeah? I’m dead? Fuck, I must’ve done something right in my past life to be rewarded with this. Sirius is – is bonded to Barty Crouch Junior.” He howled with laughter, so uncharacteristic of the young, stoic Black.
“I am not!” Sirius argued petulantly. “I’m bonded to Y/N, Junior just…happens to be there.”
“If you’re only bonded to Y/N, why are my initials decorating your wrist, hm?” Barty asked salaciously, pulling Sirius’ wrist towards him to see the evidence for himself.
“Oh, sod off.” Sirius barked, shoving him aside and offering you an apologetic glance before storming towards the exit.
“Oi! Where are you going, future-Mr-Barty-Crouch-Junior!?” Barty taunted.
“To jump off the astronomy tower!” Sirius called back.
“Ou! We should go watch.” He said, turning to you before following Sirius out. “You should try to do a flip!”
“Oh, Y/N.” Lily cooed after the boys finally disappeared out of the Great Hall. “I’m so sorry.”
You let out a long-suffering sigh as your eyes stayed focused on the place where you last saw your two new soulmates. “If Regulus did something in a past life to be rewarded with this, I must have done something right horrid.”
#marauders era#marauders au#marauders fanfiction#reader insert#self insert#sirius black#barty crouch junior#soulmate au#deathstar#poly!deathstar#poly!deathstar x reader#poly!deathstar x you#sirius black x barty crouch jr#sirius black x reader#sirius black x you#barty crouch jr x reader#barty crouch jr x you#barty crouch jr#barty crouch jr x sirius black#starkiller#bitchkiller#poly!starkiller#poly!bitchkiller#I don't like those ship names though#also#the sb x bcj tags both already existed#hahahahaha#ellecdc fics
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pearlina puppies
#splatoon#pearlina#my art#ik staffies arent pitbulls but pearl is literally a pitbull named princess to me#like personal bias but i loveeee staffies theyre so cute ;w;#i think she could also be a jrt those dogs are little freaks#marina as a rottie is literally based on that tiktok dog w headphones im ngl#i think she could be a gshep too though
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I did a little something for @hd-fan-fair 😊😊 I hope you all like pet sitter Harry and wildlife illustrator Draco!!!
Special thanks to @bubble-gumhead, @orange-peony and @avenueofesc for encouraging me to participate, you guys are the best 💕💕💕
Based on this prompt: Draco has received news of a rare magical creature sighting and has been called in to illustrate the animal and it’s natural habitat/den. Only problem is: he can’t find anyone to pet sit his beloved animals and seeks outsider help by hiring a pet sitter through a wizarding company. Enter: Harry James Potter, pet sitter extraordinaire and living his best life hanging out with animals all over Britain, enjoying the vast and interesting towns and houses he finds himself in. Draco, loves his animals so much and asks to have regular contact through letters.
Letter's text after the cut
Dear Potter, I am writing to ask for your help again to take care of my pets. Unfortunately for me, they seem to have grown on you and they have been misbehaving with any other pet sitter. I have no idea why they speak fondly of you and find you so charming. Nevertheless, I was pleased to see that they were in good hands last time.
I hope you have a good rest and enough energy since the next seventy-two hours you will be dealing with their curious, mischievous, and overly friendly nature. Until next time, D. M.
#i saw that everyone enjoyed my patito with glasses :3#for those of you that asked for the little duck's name#my friends and I decided to call him Benedict Quackerbatch#i'm so proud of my creatures#they are good pets even though it looks otherwise#anyway i forgot to mention that commissions are open!#drarry#drarry fanart#drarry art#harry potter fanart#hd career fair#pato's art#artist on tumblr#hp fanart#fan fair 2023
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FOR REAL
#they gave those two some civilian boring twinks even though they had a bromance going on with other characters#cough cough timkon#ghostmaker#batman#johnathan kent#jon kent#Superboy#tim drake#red robin#fuck if I know the twinks names#Bernard something something and pink haired guy#i like fanfic where Bernard does shit crazy theories#but I will probably never ship him and tim#bruce Wayne#ghostbat#minhkhoa khan
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All the talk about punk dad Artur again is the perfect escape from how awful starting uni has been
#Alfred is a pink floyd fan in this au#very massive pink floyd fan he has all the albums#Also Alfred in this au has a dream of becoming an aeroengineer at NASA and he's one of those kids#That knows way too much about space at the ripe young age of 13#Arthur gave him the star sticker and Alfred enthusiastically accepted it though not without:#“Stars don't really look like that though”#And Arthur going: "I know Alfred I know what stars are#“Just in case you forgot!”#Hetalia#Hetalia america#hetalia england#hws england#hws america#hetalia headcanons#Northatlantic bros#Though actually Arthur's Al's dad not his brother#Punk dad au#art tag#NOT SHIP FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP TAGGING MY STUFF WITH THE SHIP NAME#alfred f jones#punk arthur
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noticed something. people have made this before but i dont think ive seen robin in it so here
the fire text generator website couldnt handle the caption so i improvised
#i know robin subnautica is a girl she can be a brother as a treat#my post#subnautica: below zero#subnautica below zero#robin ayou#al an subnautica#al-an subnautica#do robin and al-an not have a proper ship name? thats boring get on that#(the game has been out for several years it’s not gonna happen now)#malevolent#arthur lester#john doe malevolent#jarthur#private eyes#eddie brock#venom#symbrock#<- as a treat#oooh venom likers you wanna listen to malevolent sooo baddddddd#bill cipher#ford pines#stanford pines#billford#<- oooh billford likers you ALSO wanna listen to malevolent sooo badddd#listen to my (harlan’s) horror podcast boy#if i’d played or seen someone play stanley parable i mightve added those guys too but i dont think thats possession. the narrator seems more#like a guide than someone living in stanleys head to me#maybe im wrong who knows be niceys about it if i am though
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there’s a whole AU thing where lunara never leaves the Underdark and gets sent into the absolute and I love her (a lot of this is really old art LOL)
#there’s so much lore to explain#so I’m just sharing the art LOL#i LOOOOOVE this AU so much though#there is also lunar eclipse absolutist au which i will eventually share art of soon#for those who dont know lunar eclipse is the ship name between Lunara and Haima (simons @percexe OC xddd)#but yah that’s all for now folks#bg3#baldur's gate 3#tav#bg3 tav#bg3 oc#baldur's gate oc#dnd#d&d#d&d art#dnd art#dnd oc#drow#dnd drow#lunara posting#bob the artist
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The feminine jewish name trifecta: Chana, Chava, Chaya
#jumblr#meme#personal thoughts tag#i have met SO many chava/chana/chayas 😭#i love all of those names though!!! i love when femininity............#once more... i share a PLANET??? with WOMEN??? get the AED out because i'm going to have a heart attack.... (positive)#i almost accidentally called the AED an IED.... please don't get an improvised explosive device out 😭#i'm blaming my dad for that one (he talked about being in the military and taking classes. he taught an IED class once)
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some sketches of my guy
#original character#angel oc#monster boy oc#wings#winged oc#for those curious he is the main character of this serial comic i have planned after my short film and one shots are#finished called “Mayflies”#Basically its a slice of life/fantasy comic about a world where “angels” are these huge insectoid-like entities that exist in a symbiotic#relationship with humans#They spend the majority of their life cycles in a juvenile state similar to mayflies#where they inhabit the bodies of dead humans#so every once and awhile when someone dies they will come back as an angel spontaneously. Denny was walking to work one day in the#dark and rain and got hit by a car. lucky for him#an adult angel appeared at that moment and triggered the angeldeath and he Came Back#hes like the same guy though angels dont have a separate conciousness from their host. its like#he is the angel. like a lichen. from his POV he can't tell that anything's changed inside his brain only now. he feathers#so yeah. i love him#side note#he has a GNC boyfriend named Ruth
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All's Fair in Love & Chaos (IV)
fourth installment ( I - II - III)
a short blurb style mini-series in collaboration with @unstablereader no real plot, just vibes and comedy.
Synopsis: soulmate au, everyone's soulmate's initials become visible on their wrist when the last person in the bond 'comes of age' (I've left the age ambiguous because their may be mature insinuations later on in the story). As luck would have it, and much to everyone's horror; it appeared that you, Barty Crouch Junior, and Sirius Black were soulmates
poly!DeathStar x fem!reader
“This is getting confusing.” Peter whined petulantly as the Marauders stepped into the Great Hall and surveyed the various tables. “We used to just wake up, go to the Great Hall, and sit at the Gryffindor table.”
“It’s good to broaden your horizons, wormy!” James offered with a hearty pat on Peter’s shoulder.
Luckily for them, it appeared that everyone’s respective soulmates were sitting at the Slytherin table this morning.
Unluckily for Sirius, it appeared that everyone’s respective soulmates were sitting at the Slytherin table this morning.
“Nothing but the best for my girl!” Marlene proclaimed as Dorcas rolled her eyes fondly.
“What? Did you buy her the best medication for your various sexually transmitted diseases?” Sirius taunted as he sat down beside you earning him a heavy kick in the shin courtesy of Marlene’s combat boots.
“Don’t be crass, Black.” Dorcas drawled. “She’s throwing me a birthday party.”
“A party?” James chimed in. “When? Where? Are we invited?”
Marlene playfully (though extremely aggressively) shoved James in the shoulder, which James had to massage when she was no longer looking as Dorcas answered him.
“Yes, yes. You’ve all been invited. Or, rather, your soulmates have been invited, and they were told to bring theirs, so.”
Peter harrumphed as he poked around in his porridge bowl.
“You’re invited too, Pete; don’t worry.” Marlene called over, earning her a smile that seemed to take a bit too much effort from the Gryffindor boy.
“Where’re you throwing it? Gryffindor?” Remus asked Marlene.
“No, we’re going to have it in the Room of Requirement! Really deck the place out.” Lily answered for her, pulling out a heft binder that was well and truly over-flowing with party planning paraphernalia.
“That’ll be fun, yeah? I can pick you up from your common room and we can go together?” Sirius asked you then, only to hear a derisive scoff emanate from your otherside.
“Fat chance, Black. I was here when the invites were shared, she’s going with me.”
You opened your mouth to interject when Barty pulled you into his side. “Isn’t that right, treasure?”
“I don’t know why I should have to lose out on my date just because Remus took so bloody long getting out of bed this morning.” Sirius argued over the top of your head.
“The early niffler gets the gold, Black. I don’t make the rules.”
Sirius let out an incredulous laugh at that. “You absolutely did make that rule! And every other rule in this sodding relationship! I have to walk around on eggshells sharing her with you.”
“And what do I do? Hm? This isn’t exactly a walk in the park for me to have to listen to your constant nagging and pestering when I’m simply trying to enjoy some quality time with my soulmate.” Barty sneered.
“She’s our soulmate.” Sirius corrected quickly.
“Yeah well I’d bloody like to fix that.” Barty muttered.
The entire table was stunned silent when you suddenly slammed both of your hands down onto the top of the table and stood abruptly.
“I’m tired of this.” You beseeched as you climbed over the bench and stared defiantly at both Sirius and Barty who were now looking up at you in shock. “I am sick and tired of the bickering and the surveillance and the trade offs and the schedules. I'm tired of it! I’m living my life on some timetable that revolves around you,” said as you pointed at Sirius before moving your finger to Barty, “and you. And at the end of the day, there’s no time left for me.”
You took a shuddering breath but soldiered on, grabbing each of the boys’ wrists (quite painfully, mind you) and flipping them over to expose their soulmate marks.
“Yes I am both of your soulmates and you are both mine, but you are also eachother’s.” You released their hands and took a step back; your formidable glare falling into something more pained and vulnerable as you began picking at the skin of your nails. “And until you two realise that, or until you can at least pretend to get along for my sake, I don’t want to hang out with either of you.”
Sirius felt like the air had been knocked right out of him as you bent down to retrieve your bag and began walking away.
“Sit down.” You hissed as you spun around, watching both Barty and Sirius slowly lower themselves back onto the bench.
You looked as though you were going to turn around and leave again, but your eyes caught onto one member of the group.
“Peter.” You called much more gently than you’d been speaking to Barty and Sirius. “Would you like to go to Dorcas’ party with me?”
“Yes!” Peter whispered excitedly, which was nearly drowned out by the protest that was going to come from Sirius before a hand smacked itself over his mouth.
You smiled softly at Peter before you turned and left the Great Hall with not so much as a single glance in Sirius’ (or Barty’s) direction.
James let out a slow whistle as Sirius shook the hand that was over his mouth, finding himself even more aghast to realise it had been Barty’s.
“Junior! Get your sodding hands off of me!”
“It wasn’t exactly pleasurable for me either, Black.” He spat back.
“You should have said something! Now she’s going to the party with Peter.”
“Yeah, yeah. We can kill him later.” Barty muttered indignantly.
“I don’t want to kill one of my best friends! I want to go to a bloody party with my girl!”
“Yeah well, your girl doesn’t want anything to do with you.” Marlene taunted with a smile on her face as she leaned into Dorcas’ side. “That was kinda hot, actually.”
“Bugger off, McKinnon.” Barty and Sirius spat in unison, only to glare severely at one another.
“Merlin’s tits; is this what you’re every time you’re around each other?” Lily asked incredulously, to which Sirius quickly said “no” at the same time Barty replied “pretty much, yeah”.
“She must be a saint, then; I would have dumped the two of you by now if I were her.” Regulus added in a bored tone, never looking up from his copy of the Daily Prophet.
“Yeah well, we’re all thanking our lucky stars not to be matched up with you, Reg.” Barty sneered, earning him a snort of laughter from Sirius before he realised what he’d been doing and immediately went back to scowling.
“Pettigrew!” Barty called as he leaned around Sirius. “100 galleons to not attend the party with Y/N.”
Peter looked equally fearful for his life and resigned to his death. “I don’t want to stand her up…”
Apparently, even Barty didn’t have the heart to have you - poor, shy you - attend a party solo. “Buggering fuck, fine.” He spat as he stood and grabbed his bag. “Pick me up in the Slytherin common room at eight pm sharp. And for the love of Merlin, bring me a sodding boutonniere!”
The group watched as Barty disappeared around the corner and the Great Hall returned to its normal volume.
“He does know this is a semi-casual event, right?” Marlene whispered to Dorcas. “Boutonniere's aren’t required nor encouraged.”
Dorcas simply snorted and returned her attention to her breakfast. “Marly, you come to learn to pick your battles when it comes to the likes of Barty Crouch Junior.”
But when Sirius turned his attention away from the door of the Great Hall, he saw her staring directly at him.
“Duly noted.” He muttered as he loaded up his plate in resignation.
Looks like I’m going on a date with Junior.
…
Never in a million years would Sirius have ever bet even a single knut that one would find him standing outside of the Slytherin common room dressed in his best trousers (that absolutely hugged his arse in all the best ways) and a simple button up shirt that he failed to button up all the way, leaving a sinful trail of skin along his chest.
Yet, here he was.
Standing outside of the Slytherin common room, dressed to impress awaiting his date…who was none other than bloody Barty Crouch Junior.
Sirius honest to gods thought about obliviating himself and just going back to his dorm for, say, maybe ever? But Barty chose that moment to step out through the door looking utterly delectable.
“See something you like, Black?” He taunted with a haughty grin, causing Sirius’ eyes to narrow challengingly.
“I don’t see Y/N around anywhere, so no.”
Both of them sighed as they considered each other.
“Well?” Barty asked then.
“Well what?”
Barty scoffed and rolled his eyes dramatically. “Circe’s tits, aren’t you going to tell me I look nice? You Black’s have horrid manners.”
“You’ve not told me I look nice!” Sirius retorted.
“I didn’t run to the nearest loo to pour bleach in my eyes; you’re so hard to please.”
“Merlin’s saggy balls- let’s go.” Sirius muttered as he turned on his heel to head all the way back up the stairs he just came down towards the Room of Requirement.
“Uhm, aren’t you forgetting something?” Barty asked as he grabbed Sirius’ wrist.
“What, you want to hold hands on our way up too?”
“My boutonniere you git.” Barty replied as he pointed to his chest.
Sirius gave a dramatic eye roll of his own as he pulled a small box from his pocket and returned it to its original size.
He carefully pulled out the selection of flowers and batted Barty’s hands away when they reached for them.
“What in the bloody hell are you doing?”
“You don’t pin your own corsage, Junior.” Sirius responded tiredly. “Purebloods raise gentlemen afterall.”
Barty fell quiet at that as he watched Sirius’ face as he pinned the flowers to his black button up.
“Green? ‘Cause I’m in Slytherin?” Barty asked derisively as Sirius admired his work.
Sirius’ eyes flit up to Barty’s before falling back to the corsage.
“Green because of your eyes, Junior.” Sirius admitted quietly before he turned on his heel and headed up the stairs. “Hurry along; I want Y/N to see us walk in together looking like perfect tens.”
And though Sirius couldn’t see it, he could certainly feel Barty’s gaze fall down to his perfect arse as he took two stairs at a time. “Speak for yourself, Black. I’m an eleven.”
The party was well underway by the time Sirius and Barty made it up to the Room of Requirement which was, indeed, well set up for the party.
Sirius knew it was likely more thanks to Lily than it was to Marlene, but he also knew Lily would likely let Marlene take all the credit for it.
“Where is she?” Barty asked, leaning into Sirius’ side so he could speak into his ear. Sirius fought back a shiver as he made for the familiar sight of the bar table. “No idea, but I’m gonna need a drink.”
They found you not long afterwards; Sirius’ heart nearly stuttering to a stop when he spotted you twirling around with Peter looking so carefree as you threw your head back in laughter and caused Peter to do the same.
And by the way Barty’s jaw fell slack, he was sure he felt much the same.
“She’s kind of perfect, isn’t she?” Sirius asked then, watching as you and Peter reorganised yourselves for a new song.
“Kind of perfect? You’re way off, Black.” Barty shot back, but when Sirius turned to give him an incredulous glare for being so damned contradictory all of the time, he was surprised to see a soft smile on his lips.
Ah, Sirius thought, humour - I know a thing or two about that.
“Should we show her what she’s missing tonight?” He asked Barty then, ridding himself of his cup and holding his hand out to his date for a dance.
“It’d be my pleasure.” Barty said with a smile as he accepted Sirius’ hand and followed him to the dancefloor.
“Is she looking at us?” Sirius asked as he fought every single urge to look at you.
“How could she not? We’re the hottest couple here.” Barty responded easily, surprising a bark of laughter from Sirius.
“Did you just call me attractive, Junior?”
“I may find you completely horrid and annoying but I’m not blind, Black.” Barty bit back, though Sirius could see a blush forming across his face.
“Don’t you two make a handsome couple.” Lily offered as she floated by, offering Sirius a wink as she headed for you.
“Keep your eyes off my date, you trollop!” Sirius teased with a smile, relishing in the pleasantly surprised look adorning your face when you spotted the two of them dancing together.
“She’s looking!” Sirius whispered at Barty then.
“Don’t blow it, Black.” Barty hissed back, pulling Sirius flush against him.
Sirius rolled his eyes (albeit fondly) and opted to rest his head against Barty’s shoulder.
“Does this mean the two of you are, like, together now?” James blurted then, surprising Sirius and causing him to straighten up and break away from Barty as if he’d been caught doing something naughty.
“What!? Of course not.” Barty snapped quickly.
“Don’t be ridiculous.” Sirius added.
James’ eyes flit between the two of them as his brows inched closer together. “Really? ‘Cause it sort of look-”
“Well, you should probably get your glasses checked, Potter, because what it looked like was two blokes who share a soulmate working hard to ensure their soulmate doesn’t up and leave them.”
“Right!” Sirius agreed quickly.
“Listen; do I think Black always looks like an off-duty model? Sure.”
“And do I think Junior is by far the hottest bloke here? Sure.”
“Exactly! I could do much worse than Black, here.”
“And do we make one hell of an attractive couple? Yes.” Sirius paused when his yes was chorused by Barty. “But that’s all it is.”
“That’s all it is.” Barty agreed with a shrug of his shoulders.
James considered the two of them a moment longer before letting out an inelegant snort. “Sure; whatever you say.”
“He doesn’t get it.” Sirius said simply then, turning back to Barty to continue their dance.
“You’ve got dumb friends; can’t even understand two attractive people not being completely revolted by one another.”
And Sirius couldn’t help but agree; James really was dumb if he couldn’t see that Barty was, indeed, the hottest bloke at this party (Sirius excluded, of course).
#marauders era#marauders au#marauders fanfiction#reader insert#self insert#sirius black#barty crouch junior#soulmate au#deathstar#poly!deathstar#poly!deathstar x reader#poly!deathstar x you#sirius black x barty crouch jr#sirius black x reader#sirius black x you#barty crouch jr x reader#barty crouch jr x you#barty crouch jr#barty crouch jr x sirius black#starkiller#bitchkiller#poly!starkiller#poly!bitchkiller#I don't like those ship names though#also#the sb x bcj tags both already existed#hahahahaha#ellecdc fics
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