#tho thats probably more painful for me than anyone else

[mafuenautism]

more mafuena cats smiles really big. paint and monochrome <3

again more refs + some art ive done of them under the cut

[luffyvace]

Hey there brook! I hope u having a nice day! Can I ask for a luffy x heroic fem reader headcanon? by heroic I mean that she completely dedicated her life to help and save ppl and that her purpose in life, she's strong and seems cold but when u get to know her she has empathy more than anyone else, I feel like this is the perfect character that luffy would fall in love with, pure kindness hiding behind a tough facade, she doesn't even like being called a hero, yet she is willing to do anything for those in need, slaves, poor villages, she goes against anything unjust without any fear, cause thats her purpose in life (sorry if that was too long 💀)

Hi anon <33 (it makes me so happy that someone finally addressed me as that💗)

today was a very chill day 😊 thank you! How’s yours?

Reader sounds so genuine with such a good background for a op character!!

(Don’t worry it’s not too long—I love to read:3)

Ngl luffy subconsciously sees a little bit of himself in you!!

like your hearts are so similar—gold!

of course he doesn’t directly think that way- but he feels the connection!

which is through helping!

you two never turn your backs on those who have never wronged you

its not even about if they’re on your side or not, as long as they haven’t wrong you? and they need help?

the both of you are on it 🤜🤛👍

you wanting to save others becomes admirable to more than just him, to all of the straw hats—chopper and usopp especially!

I’m gonna go ahead and say it here and now you remind both Jinbe and luffy of whitebeard and fishman island type thing

LIKE THAT’S HOW IT IS!!

Y/n is just her tbh 🤷‍♀️

and if the ops don’t like that? 🤨

🤜💥

how you like that? >:)

your strength may or may not be hereditary but either way if you don’t continue training or working out your gonna loose that strength eventually

which shows just how hard you train everyday!!

bro works harder than zoro 🗿

and we all know he don’t sleep on workin out

so y/n is a gorilla the og

its no wonder you be cookin the ops like breakfast👩‍🍳👍

this is literally turning into a rant about me being (name)’s biggest fan ok let’s move on

luffy saw you cold exterior and was like

😍😍😘🥰😘💍💋💋💋

LOLOLOL no but fr he looked straight past that

he always does- he ignored law’s and zoro’s why wouldn’t he with you-

and once he sees your true kindness???

Locked in like a booty hole 🔗

(ANYWAY I HAD TO🧍‍♀️)

yeah he pretty much busts right through that

he pretty much instantly demands you already are is nakama after that

Your empathy is what really swoops him off his feet tho

like luffy has a good sense of empathy so much so he can hear the voice of all things

and you probably can too! It’s highly likely!

(y/n could have her own anime at this point 🤷‍♀️😚)

But seriously the way he can just feel the way you long for others when they’re in pain just gets him right at the heartstrings you know?! 🥺❤️‍🩹

you comfort them so assuredly and keep your promise to win every time !!

luffy would admire himself more than he would know if he realized how alike the two of you are

tbh you probably admire luffy!!

like it’s a mutual thing, where you pretty much don’t see your own coolness you only see the other’s

so you admire each other unaware that your the same 😂💗

he absolutely adores and admires that empathetic part of you thoo!

he loves how your kind and tough

he wholeheartedly believes the strong should protect the weak, cuz that’s what a man does.

especially with nakama.

so he definitely understands your need to protect those who can’t do it for themselves

there are many times he can recall where he had to rely on others

so he loves that your the one who does that for people

and you don’t do it for the money or fame!

you don’t even view yourself as the hero and savior that bystanders see you as!

that’s so cool to him!

you background/past might’ve caused it! Like maybe you had no superhero! So you decided to become one!

he kinda looks up to you in a way 🤩

as someone who has also helped slaves and the poor he completely understands where you come from in your kindness

and it’s even cooler that you charge head on into battle for others without a second thought

that’s just how tough you are ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

not an ounce of fear in your eyes as you walk up to someone 20x the size of you to simply get back the bread they stole from a poor little child

LIKE HOW COOL IS THAT?! 💥💥

your a super hero!! Dundun duh-duuuuuun!!

🦸‍♀️‼️🤩

you have a goal just like him!! He wants to be the king of pirates and you wanna help others!

With the type of pirate he is?, those things go hand in hand 🤝

”STRAW HAT LUFFY AND PIRATE HERO (NAME) IS HERE!! RUN AWAY!!”

says the pirates who know they’ve done wrong doing!! 😎

also excuse (name)’s lame pirate alias i couldn’t think of one 😊💖

(Name) is so cool 😎 I admire her 💓

hope you enjoyed your hcs anon!! *super heroes away🦸‍♀️🚀*

[replicasoul]

1, 2, 8, 9, 13, 14, 18, 19!!! :3333 wuf. wuf

pale trying to kill me as per usual ok lemme see

1. who was the first alter? who was the most recently formed? im not sure how much we like.. Work, like that? like for a huge portion of our life we didnt realize that a LOT of us were switching around really Really often without realizing it. we have definitely Noticed some ppl more recently than others, but that doesnt mean they werent already there and doing things but just hadnt realized 'oh im a different person than [x]' if we're talking earliest that we can remember? probably Carina or X0. latest would probably be Fetch 2. what do you all have in common? is there something you like to do together? a good chunk of us all like to write, which helps when thats also an activity we end up doing together a lot. we all have our preferences for characters, settings, etc. but its usually something thats more fun Together than separate 8. are there certain alters who excel at certain things? who, and at what? althea is rly good (as in Not As Terrible as anyone else whos tried) at Hollow Knight and nobody knows why; usually we're terrible at 2D stuff. TV tends to be good at planning out creative projects as well as like, doing repetitive tasks (like at work and such). im (X0) pretty decent at keeping up w/ more involved conversations w/ strangers/coworkers/acquaintances/etc. carina is usually super polite in convos so is usually better at talking to like... older folks or ppl in public who are upset about something; its also pretty good at analyzing things idk, i could go on but thats plenty 9. do you have any awkward stories about cofronting? ooh,,, share cofronting is Always weird with conversations, bc the way we talk can switch just, constantly as different ppl are talking. its not usually noticeable over text if ppl dont know us, but it can make things Awkward in person, especially if we're too exhausted to keep up appearances at that time 13. what makes each alter laugh? tbh i feel like this and some of the other questions require a better awareness of which of us is fronting (at any given time) than we actually have. like i Know theres Differences, i know its easier to get a laugh out of me than it is with Althea, for instance. but as far as knowing what Content does it for which system member? idfk 14. storytime! share your favorite memories of the system see this kinda stuff is mostly like. Private. but uh. trying to figure out althea's potential fursona species was a Time (its still kinda up in the air but it landing on shiba inu was VERY unexpected) us singing along to Classic J Dies And Goes To Hell Part 1 in the care w/ seth is one that comes to mind rn and i think just. Writing Together makes up a big portion of the best experiences we have together 18. what shows do you watch? are there any that you all love? what about some you hate? oh god too many. when youre collectively laid the fuck up bc of nerve pain and All you can do like 60% of the time is watch shows n movies, we end up doin that way Way more often than we'd like. i know Beef and Scavengers Reign have been recent favs for us. Carina's been watchin the new pokemon show (its ok), and i think Althea + TV were the ones who watched Severance first?? idr tho we dont tend to differentiate System Member-Specific Activities a lot of the time, we just kinda do w/e with whoever happens to be fronting there are definitely exceptions but its usually like. Games, or writing. like Althea playing hollow knight. someone else was also doing Killer7 but i forget who 19. is there anything or anyone you all share equal distaste for? salt + vinegar potato chips?? i dont know, im sure theres Plenty of things we dislike if youre counting like... All Things That Exist

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

FINALLY GOT AROUND TO READING THIS…. putting all my thoughts under the cut bc this will probably get long again …. :’3

RIKOOOO I LOVED THIS SM…..

gahhh it hurt so much to read tho :((( the idea of gojo accidentally killing you genuinely hurts me physically like. can u imagine the guilt. ive always seen him as very protective of his loved ones so i feel like this would legitimately break him …… T_T

and just. how DESPERATE he is…… hhhh. when it comes to angst, seeing that kind of desperation depicted is probably what gets to me most…. its just so :((( hes so scared in the beginning..,, so terrified at the idea of losing you and . ow. ow ow ow. :’(((( it hurts.

BUT. okok. ive said this before but !! i adore ur writing rikooo, its so pretty and flows so well and i just love love love ur descriptions…… 🥺🥺🥺 im just gonna go thru some lines n paragraphs i loved !! there r . a Lot lol. 

he buried his face into your neck, smothering his painful hiccups as his burning tears rolled down your skin. in a fleeting thought— captured by the tangy sea breeze, he’d never looked more beautiful.

this is just !! so pretty. i 100% see satoru as a pretty crier btw thats so canon to me. but the idea of reader literally bleeding out and all they can think of is how beautiful satoru is ….. that’s SO bittersweet. so good. </3 (theyre just like me fr …)

“don’t blame yourself. it wasn’t your fault, gojo.” 

(…)

“it was never your fault. ever. you’re perfect, satoru.” 

THIS. got to me. reader telling him over n over not to blame himself, spending their last moments trying to stifle his guilt ……… :( the last part ESP hurt me. ”you’re perfect, satoru.” idk its just !! such a strong line it rly got to me…. and the way they switch from gojo to satoru too !! T_T i love how In Love reader is with him and vice versa, u can really feel that affection between them… the whole moment is just so tender and achy.

in this light, he looked like an angel. every color of the rainbow reflected through prisms in his tears, those mesmerizing glittering blue eyes of his that always—

no. just blue wouldn’t be accurate enough. 

his eyes were like a kaleidoscope of monochrome— all splashed generously with rich lapis and stark cobalt, neutral navy and sparkling aquamarines.

GODDDD THIS IS SO PRETTY RIKO …….. im so jealous !! of ur writing !!! the last part is just downright gorgeous hhhhh you rly captured the beauty of his eyes … like i can SEE them in front of me ……. and again; reader only being able to think of how pretty and angelic satoru looks while they’re dying …. T_T and he’s freaking out but they’re just admiring him !! only seeing him !! oughh .

nothing more than a piece of sea glass, perhaps in the rough. yet to be refined by years of chipping and sanding, being tossed against the rocks by the unrelenting cycle of waves, drag and push ‘til the shape was smooth and there were no ridges to catch, no kinks to smoothen out, no fragile points to exploit.

to anyone else, he would seem unmovable. no weaknesses, only strengths. almost inhumane. that was the facade he tried to project, anyway.

try as he might to put up that shield of his— it never worked. at least, not with you. those round dark sunglasses that never let you catch a glimpse of the story behind his pupils always acted as a barrier between himself and the world, tucking away the fragile child within him and forcing the strongest to grow stronger.

but you’d never had trouble taking those pesky shades off; not between classes, not at shared tables with cartoons of strawberry milk between you and not on the long walks home past parks and couples with cherries of blush on their cheeks and families with smiles that seemed to shine brighter than the sun.

not behind closed doors or shared moments of intimacy, not when you’d forced them off his face and beneath your heel just so he would look at you for once and see you for who you really were. realize what he really meant to you.

perhaps that was his undoing. his achilles’ heel. letting you in when he could’ve— no, should’ve locked you out.

just.. this entire part …… ooooughhhh. i love love love !! this take on satoru. and i agree sm !! i think he puts all these walls up for a reason, but hes still only human and he cant help but grow to care for the people around him … but it always works out best for him when he doesnt :(

and him tucking the childish part of himself away !! being forced to grow up far too quickly !!! satoru is just such a sad and lonely character once u get down to it </3 i love him sm. u write him so well and thoughtfully !!

“don’t cry for me, ‘toru. maybe, once this is all over, we can… share one of shoko’s smokes together, and reminisce— about last spring…” you whispered, your muddled and chaotic thoughts suddenly clearing. 

over a stick of cancer. really?

in your minds eye, you could picture it. the trickle of burning ember and ash from the stiff paper, representing each memory recounted and ticked off your fingers until it burnt to your skin, and brought you back to the present. past the memories. moving forward to make new ones.

i love you, satoru.

was that all you had ever been trying to say to him?

THIS ONE. god. this might be my fav part of the whole fic im just so obsessed. i collapsed. your writing is seriously sooo pretty ….. i love ur descriptions n just how well ur writing flows !! the bittersweetness of reader wishing for them to reminisce over their spring together … and then . over a stick of cancer. really? to bring u back down… and then the gorgeous, drawn out paragraph after that…

and then. the last line ….. which actually just hit me like a bullet to the head tbh LIKE. GOD. that’s gonna live rent free in my brain for all of time im not even exaggerating. i cant pinpoint exactly why but it just rly …. scratches a certain corner of my brain. was that all you had ever been trying to say to him? i just !! adore it. sm.

(he thinks it’s cruel that his brilliant blue irises get to experience the lifetime ahead of him, always glowing with the life you should’ve had. but the again, he’s grateful for them; to them for letting him see the twinkle in your eye when you called him ‘toru oh so sweetly, or letting him witness the affection in your infectious grin when you pressed a kiss to his cherry red cheek after sneaking a bite of the powdered sugary crepe in his hand with a little chirp of ‘sharing is caring, satoru.’)

:’( sniffle. i love these lil glimpses u give us of just how sweet n precious reader was to satoru …. how in love they were. i feel like i can see all those warm colours w how you describe everything, n then when u bring us back to reader dying all i see is gray and blue. thats so impressive to me !!!!!! just the vibes and colours of ur writing .. i feel it so deeply hhh.

when it comes to this very mission, on this fateful summer day where the dried streams sang trickling melodies into open fields of green and when the cacophony of the cicadas’ buzz subdues the shrill scream of fireworks rising over a summer festival, satoru denies everything.

AND. god. goddddd. this line is just so, so gorgeous and summer-y and beautiful. literally so good. i fell to my knees. ”satoru denies everything.” the way you build it all up just to bring it down to that is …. so good riko it rewired my whole brain chemistry.

the little sway of the section of dark hair in front of his eye that he liked to call ‘bangs’ (should be singular. arguments and wounded prides have often ensued whenever the topic approached this)

AND THEN THIS PHSHDJD thank u for at least giving us this one lil comedic moment ….. this was so funny AND I AGREE W SATORU that man does NOT have bangs he has A Bang. we love him and his fucked up bang though <33 

as such, it is customary to say farewell to endings, but welcome the beginnings. and who’s to say the two can’t intertwine; coincide? perhaps they show up as one and the same.

after all, you had meant the end to his isolation and the beginning to his affection.

the notion only drove the knife of your death deeper, as it happened. so which is best? to leave the blade in, or pull it out? either way, it hurts. but he can’t just let it fester, infect, mold over time in his chest— and so he pulls it out. despite the sleep it costs him. the anguish it brings him.

“we’ll find a way, satoru. after all, we’re the strongest, aren’t we?”

aaaand finally !!!!…. this whole final part just went so hard. so bittersweet !! but also hopeful !! so which is best? to leave the blade in, or pull it out? i love this lineeee and how symbolic it is of how one deals with grief… and how satoru chooses to pull the knife out and move on T_T despite the sleep it costs him, despite the anguish it brings him… hes so strong !!! i wanna give him a hug…. 

also this might not have been intentional on ur part but !! i love the implication that suguru is there to help him and push him forward … even just a little bit ….. even though that’ll end up falling apart too when sugu defects :( but still !!! stsg my beloveds <3

aaaaa all in all !! i hope this ended up (somewhat) coherent pshdjdj but i adored this riko !! im so in awe of your writing, i loved this piece !! :D i dont read much satoru angst generally so this was a nice change of pace too, u did his character sm justice n just … yeah. this was so so good !!!

spring of life and death —. gojo satoru x reader

warnings: character death, light descriptions of gore (wounded, blood) i don’t think there’s anything else…..????? idk though - gojo experiences his very first lost with the one he thought would be there for the rest of them .

now would be a great time to mention that i haven’t written in ages and i also don’t know how to write gojo and this may or may not have belonged to another chara i found in my drafts from like 2021

your ears were ringing.

your world had been spinning along its axis normally just a few moments ago— you think its unfair how quickly things can escalate.

but the thoughts dim and dull in your fogged mind when you feel a hand on your cheek. gentle, delicate— like it’s holding a fragile flower in its palm, ever so careful not to crush the last breath of life from the petals and stalks even as it beholds the withering of the leaves; watching the thing wash gray and drift away.

“satoru…”

he buried his face into your neck, smothering his painful hiccups as his burning tears rolled down your skin. in a fleeting thought— captured by the tangy sea breeze, he’d never looked more beautiful.

“please don’t cry, satoru.” you murmured, mustering a weak smile as he tentatively lifted his head up from your bleeding body, crimson waves slowly spreading across the mossy cracked pavement.

the sky was dark, ominous clouds gathering over the remains of what had become of a distant shrine tucked away in the hazy mountain tops of kyoto, as the two of you lay isolated in a large stone gazebo, the dead bodies of mutilated curses strewn all around you beginning to slowly disintegrate and disperse. cliffs stretched high above the murky water around the bay, covered in age old stone and soft moss. 

you lifted a hand weakly, unable to do much as you felt your strength seeping through your body, releasing as you fought to remain conscious. it felt as though everything had slipped out of your hands, after years of desperately hanging on to it. your life had been yanked out of your own feeble hands as soon as you had stepped foot in that deceiving, bright taxi. 

you gently laid your hand on satoru’s red cheek, glistening with fresh crystal tears, a snag, rip, and tear in his sleeve where he’d torn off the rudimentary uniform fabric in a frenzy to bandage your flowing wound.

it was tragic, truly. he hadn’t been careful with his application of blue, and you’d been caught in the cross fire, curse for curse and human all subject to the tornado of debris and stone that his cursed technique wrought upon the dilapidated clearing. 

“don’t—“ you mumbled, cutting off abruptly as an unwelcome coughing fit rocked your fragile body, blood splattering in your hands and leaking from the crevices between your stiff fingers— those that used to hug satoru’s own thin digits between them— as you covered your dry mouth and tried to smother the hacking pain in your throat; the burning sensation that dried your mouth and pricked at your fading consciousness. 

now, the only thing your hands held were the coalescing essence of seeping crimson life and the cold swirling air that remained from an effect of your cursed energy. so empty and numb.

“don’t blame yourself. it wasn’t your fault, gojo.” 

his heart squeezed tight in his chest, nostalgia gripping him in a vice as memories of your first night with the school came rushing back like high tide in his mind. 

“no… no—! this can’t happen.” he muttered, panic overriding his shakily hopeless demeanor. his voice was loud, cracking; it erupted from the eroding stone rooftops, carried over aging terraces into the rich green trees overhead. the small waver in it was impossible to miss, and even more so to ignore.

“i can bring you to yaga. surely he knows how to care for someone, right? maybe shoko has special first aid knowledge from her cursed technique, or maybe suguru can help you somehow… please, stay with me [name]! don’t go.” he cried, his hand desperately fumbling to clutch yours as you looked on with sadness.

it was, truly, such a shame. the sun had long since passed its crux in the arch of the firmament, casting its warm golden glow that refracted and dappled through speckled leaves and cracks in the wood onto the melancholy scene below.

in this light, he looked like an angel. every color of the rainbow reflected through prisms in his tears, those mesmerizing glittering blue eyes of his that always—

no. just blue wouldn’t be accurate enough. 

his eyes were like a kaleidoscope of monochrome— all splashed generously with rich lapis and stark cobalt, neutral navy and sparkling aquamarines. it was as if there was an entire rainbow of the soothing color in his irises, dimensions of depth and fragments that rivaled the ridges of the seas and the layers of the earth. though, this rainbow only consisted of the tranquil tone; but at this very moment, the only hue you could catch in the dying light was one of pure blues. and not in the sense of an artist’s taste for palettes, but in the sense of sadness. regret, guilt, and above all— pain.

“satoru.”

he paused through a flurry of sniffles and held-back tears, glancing at you with trepidation and a growing uneasiness as he noticed your lack of breath. it was like you were struggling for air. 

the thought only frightened him more.

“promise me.. that you’ll take care of them.” you murmured, as your body began to lax against your own will. a familiar feeling of release came over you, like lying in bed after a long day. only this time, you wouldn’t be able to get back up.

“don’t say that. we can look after them together, right?” satoru pleaded, reaching forward as you lurched back. he gently grabbed your shoulder, shifting his hand onto your back so he could pull you up and into his arms, cradling you delicately as if you were a crystal glass ornament, threatening to shatter at any given moment. 

if you were an ornament, so beautiful and yet so fragile— than what was he?

surely, in his eyes: nothing more than a piece of sea glass, perhaps in the rough. yet to be refined by years of chipping and sanding, being tossed against the rocks by the unrelenting cycle of waves, drag and push ‘til the shape was smooth and there were no ridges to catch, no kinks to smoothen out, no fragile points to exploit.

to anyone else, he would seem unmovable. no weaknesses, only strengths. almost inhumane. that was the facade he tried to project, anyway.

try as he might to put up that shield of his— it never worked. at least, not with you. those round dark sunglasses that never let you catch a glimpse of the story behind his pupils always acted as a barrier between himself and the world, tucking away the fragile child within him and forcing the strongest to grow stronger.

but you’d never had trouble taking those pesky shades off; not between classes, not at shared tables with cartoons of strawberry milk between you and not on the long walks home past parks and couples with cherries of blush on their cheeks and families with smiles that seemed to shine brighter than the sun.

not behind closed doors or shared moments of intimacy, not when you’d forced them off his face and beneath your heel just so he would look at you for once and see you for who you really were. realize what he really meant to you.

perhaps that was his undoing. his achilles’ heel. letting you in when he could’ve— no, should’ve locked you out.

“‘toru… you’re strong. everyone knows you are. remember that this was never..” you trailed off, another coughing fit causing you to shake and sputter, blood splattering over your tattered clothes. 

“it was never your fault. ever. you’re perfect, satoru.” 

he only stared at you, tears welling up in his swirling blue eyes. his fists were clenched, and you thought for an instant that—

well, not like you’d ever be able to tell if it was his blood that mixed with yours in the limp palm of your hand or just your own. if you’d mistaken the clench of his fingers so tight into his own skin that he’d drawn his own blood with those long digits for… a lesser show of emotion.

that’s how it always was with him. you never quite knew if it was only your love gushing from your open heart, or if there was a droplet of his mixed in there too. or maybe, a trickle of it. perhaps even a waterfall. with him? you could never, ever tell. it often presented itself much differently from what it truly was. much like its owner.

“don’t cry for me, ‘toru. maybe, once this is all over, we can… share one of shoko’s smokes together, and reminisce— about last spring…” you whispered, your muddled and chaotic thoughts suddenly clearing. 

over a stick of cancer. really?

in your minds eye, you could picture it. the trickle of burning ember and ash from the stiff paper, representing each memory recounted and ticked off your fingers until it burnt to your skin, and brought you back to the present. past the memories. moving forward to make new ones.

i love you, satoru.

was that all you had ever been trying to say to him?

perhaps, from the very beginning, the fates had ordained it to be this way. and try as you might, you could never escape their elaborate tapestry of cruel life. 

“i love you, satoru.” you mumbled, and with all your remaining strength, you barely pulled yourself up, tugging him down from his neck as his soft lips met yours. the kiss was bittersweet in every sense of the word— if colors and phrases were tangible, then he’d label it a dreaded farewell, a deep melancholy departure— something that hurts so, so much but is inevitable all the same. truly, he thinks it’s so pathetic how he was reduced to nothing in a mere instant.

then again, you always seemed to have that effect on him.

he watched in silent anguish as your eyes glazed over, the last fading pieces of your fleeting consciousness swirling away from your broken body as your hand fell limp to your side, final words lingering in the air. his body screams at him to do something— take your cold hands and intertwine your soft fingers with his, light the life in your eyes again with some fairytale kiss that he yearns to take the two of you away from this goddamned world. but it’s too bad, really. there’s nothing to do about what’s already been done.

after a long moment— what could’ve been a few seconds or a lifetime, he couldn’t tell— satoru pulled away from you, your lips cold and foreign to him, lacking the luster and warmth of the person he knew the best. his lover. 

“i love you too, [name].” he whispered, his voice breaking. he felt so small and insignificant, time stretching on in a cruel instant as if to mock him for this happenstance he brought upon himself. it was a scary, unfamiliar feeling. that’s how things had always been with you; letting you in, relying on someone— letting you see him for who he really was had always been a terrifying thing to him. but this time he knows you won’t be there to smother the fire and ash of reluctance with sweet kisses and words like crystalline water to douse the malevolent anxieties; he knows he’ll be alone again as tears began to flow and flow once more from his ever bright eyes, like a relentless waterfall that slowly shaped rocks and eroded banks over time. 

time, eons and centuries. 

and for all the next, which he would have to start afoot on a path that left a cold vacancy by his side, the wind blowing against his back a harsh and cruel reminder.

(he thinks it’s cruel that his brilliant blue irises get to experience the lifetime ahead of him, always glowing with the life you should’ve had. but the again, he’s grateful for them; to them for letting him see the twinkle in your eye when you called him ‘toru oh so sweetly, or letting him witness the affection in your infectious grin when you pressed a kiss to his cherry red cheek after sneaking a bite of the powdered sugary crepe in his hand with a little chirp of ‘sharing is caring, satoru.’)

when it comes to this very mission, on this fateful summer day where the dried streams sang trickling melodies into open fields of green and when the cacophony of the cicadas’ buzz subdues the shrill scream of fireworks rising over a summer festival, satoru denies everything. so what if he spent an extra hour or two there? he was just patrolling the area to make sure the presence of curses was completely exterminated; doing his duty as a sorcerer to protect the weak. it’s none of shoko’s business what your final words to him were and it certainly isn’t any of suguru’s to ask what he did with your body.

of course he disposed of it properly. he would never endanger anyone else so carelessly, again.

of course he didn’t spend an eternity by your side after the glint of adoration in your eyes had been extinguished, crying his eyes out into your empty chest which had a void instead of a heartbeat. the silence had never been more loud. to him, at least.

of course he was fine. of course. it didn’t take six eyes to see that—

“—dumbass. i’m fine. lay off, would you?” he scoffed, kicking the ground in frustration and stirring up a small cloud of dust on the faded bricks in the pavement, years of wear from generations of those before clear in the smoothness of the surface.

like a piece of sea glass. but this one was supporting another that was still in the rough. still sharp to the edges, still fragile in all the wrong places—

still breakable, with enough pressure and force and precision.

he didn’t need suguru’s… whatever it was. concern? yeah. concern. he shouldn’t go sticking his sharp nose into places it didn’t belong. only one person had ever burrowed into his heart like that. satoru was content to let the others try.

the dark-haired boy in question groaned, rubbing his temple and letting out an exasperated sigh that, satoru assumed, was drawn out in exaggeration. the little sway of the section of dark hair in front of his eye that he liked to call ‘bangs’ (should be singular. arguments and wounded prides have often ensued whenever the topic approached this) was irritating satoru to no end.

“come on, satoru. you—“

you don’t understand.

a thousand flowers of mourning and a bed of roses would never be enough for you. those were the thoughts that echoed and swirled in his hazy mind as he picked your lifeless body up, cringing at the way your limbs went slack, like a ragdoll. those were the thoughts he never dared to vocalize when he was irresistibly close to you, and still he couldn’t bring himself to speak the words lodged in his throat when he settled you down in a small green clearing a little ways away so he could appreciate your beauty and let himself wallow in self-loathing and despair for a little longer before going on with the correct procedures.

that was the smallest moment of respite he’d allowed himself. to finally feel weak for a little while. it was unfair, he thinks— the strongest, and yet he still can’t do anything against the unending march of time or the seemingly merciless web of fate the universe entangled him in, like a fly in a spider’s cradle.

in truth, he’d never felt more weak in his entire life. loss effects everyone equally, without bias or prejudice. no matter who you are. in some way, he was thankful to you; you’d taught him that, but he thinks some part of him would despise you just a little bit for giving him an unwarranted crash course.

the feeling was unfamiliar to him. but it would become like an old friend over time; one that remained even after all those who brought joy to him left.

when they were there, they brought solace. when they left, they gave loneliness.

some people are so selflessly generous in that way, right? never taking. always giving.

departure is common. people wave goodbye with a farewell and a bittersweet smile upon their faces as they bid adieu to what’s behind them and strive towards what lies ahead, willingly or otherwise. but goodbyes are not always final. after a long and toiling journey, the weary wanderer finds comfort in the presence of his family. the traveler finds comfort after a trial of hardship in his kin, and the adventurer comes home to a warm meal and a happy home.

it’s difficult to say the same for a sorcerer— a normal life is always a hair out of reach— a glimpse into pattern and routine, a dream of stability and relationship. but just that. 

a dream. nothing more. beautiful, fleeting, and never to manifest or become tangible.

nevertheless, things end, but many more will begin. 

as such, it is customary to say farewell to endings, but welcome the beginnings. and who’s to say the two can’t intertwine; coincide? perhaps they show up as one and the same.

after all, you had meant the end to his isolation and the beginning to his affection.

the notion only drove the knife of your death deeper, as it happened. so which is best? to leave the blade in, or pull it out? either way, it hurts. but he can’t just let it fester, infect, mold over time in his chest— and so he pulls it out. despite the sleep it costs him. the anguish it brings him.

“we’ll find a way, satoru. after all, we’re the strongest, aren’t we?”

but healing takes time, even if such a thing can seem heartless. and there is no rush or emotion, no presence or practice that could ever seal the broken and shattered heart faster than time itself would gently mend it back together.

so he lets the sand trickle, and lets life run its course. without you.

i actually originally wrote this for lyle collodi from hi3 so that’s y gojo just randomly accidentally kills u i’m sorry if it’s a stretch

my (riaki) stuff. don’t repost and/or plagiarize !

[primalspice]

Faust (feeds him oatmeal) 2, 8, 11, 19, 23, 25, 27, 33, 38, 44, 56

foust

2:��What is your character’s favorite memory?

i think some years ago he might’ve had a much different answer to this question but nowadays he looks fondly (and regretfully) upon back when things were relatively normal in canada. being divorced and directionless definitely beats dying of cancer while trapped in a radioactive military state.

8: Does your character hate anyone? Why?

“hate is a strong word uwu” type of guy but. tbh i’d say be more generally hateful about his situation and the direction the region is going as opposed to hateful towards any particular person. which is maybe shocking considering how much of it he takes out on harvey (hes definitely still resentful for some of the things shes done but i digress) but she’s an easy target tbh LMAOOO they were besties fr he cant be THAT hateful. 

11: How did your character meet their best friend?

he met harvey when she started her first Capital Job, as he was already working there. he definitely had no obligation to meet her bcz they weren’t really in the same department or anything apart from being relatively high up in the Bureacratic Hierarchy but...... he’s nosy and outgoing. it ended up working out because it became very clear to everyone else very soon that harvey has no social skills and everyone should probably just leave her alone LMAOO. hes different tho <3  

19: What is your character’s deepest, darkest secret?

i mean him having and hiding pretty severe cancer is definitely a deep dark secret. as were his true plans for taking the presidency after harvey and the consequences he would let that have on her. but i think the more necessary secret is just how much hatred he harbors for this place LOL and what he plans to do about it O__O enacting such plans would require a level of trust from his dear citizens though, he’d never want to give them the wrong idea by getting bitter in public. plus, it’d be sloppy to just drop a couple bombs and let everyone burn, he really doesnt WANT to kill people.

23: Is your character morally gray or black or white?

totally gray LOL maybe dark gray depending on how you look at it. i mean he DEFINITELY doesnt have to go out of his way to be a spiteful cunt and harass and torture harvey but. i’d say the necessity of his Region Zero Demolition Plans is questionable. yes, theres probably better ways to go about it BUT what better way to ensure no one will ever try this shit again and subject thousands more people to such painful lives? everything else he’s done up to this point is somewhat gray as well.......hes definitely got his justifications and people have definitely done worse for less but yknow.... i think similarly to his sister he really feels a need to do important things and thats a lot more difficult to say you did when you choose a career path that isnt rather inherently humanitatian. i think he becomes more desperate for that once he realizes ivy kinda sorta died in vain.  

25: Would you want to hang out with your character?

i really would not <3 he’d spend an hour talking my ear off about literally Nothing.

27: What would be the worst way for your character to die?

THE REAL ANSWER TO THIS JUST IN TERMS OF HIS OWN WISHES IS DYING OF CANCER AND/OR BEFORE HE GETS TO CANADA. I THINK THERE WOULD BE FUNNIER MORE IRONIC THINGS THT COULD HAPPEN THO. REALLY. CAR ACCIDENT ON THE WAY TO GO HARASS HARVEY.  IDK.

33: In what ways is your character like you?

he’s really really not like me much at all but. he IS a younger boy twin with a thing for pink <3 also hes fake but way more fake than i am 

38: What role does your character play in their story?

he is a proper antagonist he is here to create problems but he is also here to Maybe Kinda Have A Point??? Sometimes. plus i think its only suitable to his lovely perfect charming personality that he’s kinda the person who bridges the relationships between everyone deeply involved in the story, as he’s known everyone on at least a kinda personal level. this sucks for everyone else now of course, but it is true. 

44: What is your character proud of?

i think hes proud of his sister even though they kinda split paths in a less than amicable way. he’s somewhat proud of himself as well for getting things accomplished so exactly to his liking (once he actually figured out what he wanted to do after moving here), but i think he feels more empty about that than one would expect a really accomplished outgoing job guy to typically feel. 

56: What’s one of your character’s quirks?

he has a really quirky hide-my-cancer-symptoms routine that he follows to perfection. he has a canadian accent that only becomes obvious on certain words and everyone thinks thats funny. he has an affinity for the color pink and always has to be wearing it. 

[theswampghost]

sometimes, in theatre, you meet the most delightful people. other times, you meet living incarnations of the game of thrones finale.

[azucanela]

HI CAN I REQUEST?!? How would Keigo, Bakugou and Shinsou react to their s/o wearing a really low cut shirt, one that shows a lot of cleavage and they don’t seem to have any idea what they’re doing- like they aren’t trying to get they’re attention they just happen to be wearing it. And they like bend down next to them to tell them something.(i feel like this can be partially serious nsfw and partially major crack. 😂) thank you.

REACTING TO S/O WEARING A LOW CUT SHIRT HEADCANNONS + SCENARIOS

[FT. BAKUGOU KATSUKI, KEIGO TAKAMI, SHINSOU HITOSHI]

SUMMARY: Y/N honestly didn’t think her shirt was anything special until...

WORD COUNT: 2.2k

WARNINGS: mildly suggestive content, innuendos, kissing, 

A/N: THIS REMINDS ME OF THE TIK TOK AUDIO THING SKLHDJKAH I CAN’T EXPLAIN IT 

BAKUGOU KATSUKI

HEADCANNONS

will not admit it but he is appreciating everything he can see

katuski doesn’t seem like the type to drink respect women juice but he does, he drinks too much, thats why he DESTROYED uraraka in the sports festival, katsuki thinks everyone should get destroyed equally

if anyone at any point decides to point out that he is staring, katsuki is gonna commit death and will not look at you for the rest of the day, like he is avoiding you and your gaze no matter what

katsuki is definitely going to be watching everyone else, and one wrong move means he’s gonna blast them to bits sjahjkahdjk, like oh hey mineta? you spent to long even glancing in my s/o’s direction so TIME TO DIE EXTRA

if you guys are out in public and other guys are looking at you then the PDA shoots through the ROOF, Katsuki has his hands all over you and you don’t mind this is abnormal behavior um??

definitely glaring at anyone who looks your way, especially since you aren’t noticing all the attention your lovely outfit is garnering

will compliment you but is shy about it

“you look... nice.”

“thanks katsuki.”

intense blushing from him but he WILL deny it

if you bend down in front of him and give him a CLOSE UP he is going to die on the inside, externally he is going to seem mostly composed, there’ll be a lil blush on his cheeks and he’s gonna try to avert his eyes very quick peak 

very quick

would never admit it happened but you’ll know because he’s gonna try and drag you away somewhere more private because it is unfair how flustered you are making him what the hell

then y’all,,,

ahsbdhjhksjdhakjs

you should wear that shirt more often tho like 👀

SCENARIO

Most of the time when Katsuki said he hated Y/N, he didn’t really mean it. In reality, she was one of few people he tolerated, and part of an even smaller group of people that he respected in their school. Also, he may or may not have been in love with her and dating her. 

Not that he would admit that, yet.

Watching Y/N enter the room, in a low cut top, revealing far too much, Katsuki realized he hated this woman. His eyes following her figure as she made her way into the common room kitchen, Katsuki could practically feel Kirishima smirk, “what’cha looking at Bakubro?”

“Shut up.” He grumbled in response, tearing his eyes away from Y/N, who had begun to speak with that dumb Deku. Katsuki couldn’t help the jealousy that flooded his veins at the sight, he shifted in his seat uncomfortably as he attempted to keep his attention focused on the show Kirishima had selected.

In the corner of his eye, Katsuki could see that stupid Grape heading in Y/N’s direction. “Hey! Grape.” He called out, voice low. Mineta froze at his words, eyes widening in fear as he slowly turned to meet Katsuki’s piercing glare. “What did I tell you?”

It was common knowledge at this point, messing with Y/N L/N meant messing with Bakugou Katsuki, and only an idiot would do that. Katsuki had made it especially clear to Mineta that you— along with all the other girls in their class, though he’d never admit it— were strictly off limits, unless Mineta wanted to die a long and painful death at his hands.

Y/N seemed blissfully unaware of the fact that Katuski despises the lovely top she dons as she makes her way over to his spot on the couch, and the eyes on you that don’t belong to him. It seemed you hadn’t just caught his attention today. “Hey, Katsuki.” He’s about to say something in reply when Y/N rests her hands on his knees, leaning down to continue. “I was thinking we could go out today,” Y/N keeps talking, about the possible areas to visit, but Katsuki isn’t listening at this point. 

Her upper body is dangerously visible and close to him, and Katsuki is doing his best to avoid staring but Y/N seems to be making that very difficult as she speaks. He’s forced to resort in looking away from her entirely, only to see Kirishima’s smug grin as he snickers alongside Mina.

This is why Katsuki grabs one of Y/N’s hands off his knee as he practically shoots up from his spot on the couch, “yeah. Let’s go now.”

Her brows furrow, but upon seeing the reddening face of Bakugou Katsuki, and Y/N agrees despite her own confusion, “sure, you have somewhere in mind?”

“Yeah, I have something in mind.”

Somewhere was his room, something was Y/N pressed up against the door. Her arms had wrapped around his neck, and she broke away from the kiss he’d initiated to speak, “what’s up with you?” There’s a grin on her face as his own begins to flush once more.

“Your stupid shirt.”

“What did my shirt do?”

“EVERYTHING.”

KEIGO TAKAMI | PRO HERO HAWKS

HEADCANNONS

blatantly checking you out, he has ZERO SHAME, keigo wants you to know that he finds you VERY ATTRACTIVE 

“you look so good today babe. i love the outfit.”

always been very big on PDA though his agency and publicist do not approve, during dates he’s less touchy than he wants to be but seeing you in that top he is now 100% with PDA

if anyone hits on you or anything i feel like he’s the type to be a lil possessive because bird instincts, and he will have no shame just making out with you and feeling you up right there in front of anybody who flirts with you, much to everyone’s dismay

if someone points out his blatant stares he gonna be proud of it and be like yeah im looking

there is no blushing, there is no being flustered, yes he is going to be a little caught off guard that you are wearing that type of shirt, but aside from that he is going to enjoy it while it lasts

very much appreciates this opportunity like the perv he is

will wanna find somewhere provide just to have a little bit of fun, because he’s,,, hawks. you can’t tell me he isn’t gonna wanna make out with you or 👀 👀 👀

def most likely to have this happen with, purely because he knows it could be embarrassing for you if he just started making out with you in public, because at this point, keigo does not care

keigo simps and he has ZERO shame, definitely the most perverted, you cannot change my mind

SCENARIO

For once in his career, Keigo had managed to earn a day off, and he didn’t know anyone better to spend it with than his lovely girlfriend, Y/N L/N. Of course, he never expected her to arrive to their little hangout in such a wonderful outfit.

Keigo could not deny that he was appreciating everything. His eyes were wandering over her upper body, brow raised as she approached him, waving. “Hey, Takami!” She greeted, beaming at him.

“Hey, babe.” Comes his response, bringing a hand to her hip to pull her closer, Keigo brought his other hand to her cheek and pressed a kiss to her lips. “You look nice today.” He mumbled when they pulled apart, his eyes trailing over her figure once more, Keigo’s hand remained at her side as he pulled her through the streets. 

“You’re very touchy today.” Y/N pointed out, though she brought her hand over his nonetheless, leaning into his touch as they made their way through the crowd. 

He could feel the stares on the both of them, and he wasn’t necessarily sure if that was because two Pro Heroes were casually walking through the street, or if Y/N’s outfit was bringing in more attention than she’d expected. Regardless, Keigo didn’t like it. “What can I say, I wanna touch my amazingly attractive girlfriend.”

Y/N swats at his chest playfully as he brings her to an empty table in the food court, eyes scanning the area for something that sold chicken nuggets, that he happened to love. Though Y/N made fun of him for it frequently, referring to him as a cannibal, much to his dismay.

“Well, your amazingly attractive girlfriend,” Y/N pushed him down into the seat at the table, hands remaining on his shoulders as she spoke to him, and effectively giving Keigo quite the... view. “Is going to go get some chicken nuggets, do you want a drink?” 

Wow, she’s perfect.

Keigo finds himself nodding absently, distracted by the sight before him as he forces his eyes to return to her face, which dawns a confused look, “yes please, babe.” He sits back in his seat, offering her a smirk. 

“You’re so weird.”

“And you are so perfect.”

“Shut up.”

SHINSOU HITOSHI

HEADCANNONS

a respectful boy

does not look if he can avoid it, and if he does look, he is looking respectfully because shinsou drinks respect women juice

definitely the MOST flustered and cannot hide it because wow you look so good and you are his s/o, and oh-

“how do i look toshi?”

“uh,,, good. yeah you look really pretty today- not that you don’t look pretty everyday its just-”

not very big on PDA, does basic stuff like hand holding and will on occasion, kiss you, that’s probably not gonna change

if he gets jealous of all the people checking you out, he’s not gonna say anything, he’s just gonna hope you don’t dump him to go hang out with one them akshdkjashdjksa

gets insecure because this is a reminder of how amazing his lovely s/o is and wow you are just really hot and why are you dating him again? he doesn’t know, he’s gonna need a reminder

if anyone points out the fact that he’s staring at you he might cry kajshdjkahsdkj he’s definitely gonna be embarrassed and start blushing IMMENSELY it’ll be hilarious ngl

not the type to be possessive or jealous or anything

if you two somehow end up somewhere private then he probably will wanna make out with you but he’ll ask politely if he can kiss you and then things will escalate from there

overall a very respectful boy and will not look unless its an accident or explicitly given permission because he is also a very awkward boy please help him

you literally break shinsou with this outfit like he is flabbergasted shocked and simping for YOU

SCENARIO

When Shinsou heard the knock on his door, he already knew who it was. He and his lovely girlfriend, Y/N L/N had agreed to go out together today, and she was meeting him at his dorm. 

“Come in.” He called out, leaning down to tie his shoes. 

Shinsou heard the door open, and a smile found its way onto his face as Y/N greeted him, “hi Hitoshi!” Moving up to look at her from his seat on his bed, Shinsou is greeted by a shirt he has never seen before.

Oh no.

His cheeks flush as he averts his eyes, “hey kitten.” Shinsou clears his throat, straightening in his seat on the bed, “you ready to go.” 

Y/N is grinning at him as she brings her hands to his shoulders and presses a kiss to his cheek, “definitely.” This position was not helping him focus on the task at hand.

Shinsou nods slowly, blinking a few times as he focuses his gaze on her face, earning him a raised brow, “right, let’s go.” He moves to sit up, just for Y/N to press him back down onto the bed by his shoulders.

“What’s up with you?”

He falters, mouth opening and closing for a moment as he struggles to find an excuse, “you look really nice today.” Is what he manages to come up with, though the look on Y/N’s face only brings more panic as he continues, “not that you don’t look nice everyday it’s just that uh-” Shinsou makes an odd hand gesture, contemplating ramming his head into the wall as he finally makes eye contact with his very amused girlfriend. 

“What makes you say that, baby?” She asks, tilting her head at him as her hands remain firmly planted on his shoulders.

Shinsou finds it hard not to cover his face with his hands as he replies, “your shirt.”

Y/N’s brows furrow, looking down at her shirt as though she’d forgotten what she’d worn that day, only for her face to morph into one of realization as her mouth forms an ‘o’ shape. This soon becomes laughter as she looks to Shinsou, “I never expected that from you Hitoshi.”

“I-I’m sorry?!”

Y/N is laughing even more at his words, a small smile on her face as she brings her hands to his face to bring him into a kiss. Shinsou melts into this kiss, hands coming to her waist. 

“I honestly can’t believe you actually-”

“I’m going to leave if you don’t shut up.”

“Sure you will.” 

A/N: why was writing this so hard AND I MADE A GRILLED CHEESE FOR THE FIRST TIME I FEEL SO SUCCESSFUL

TAGLISTS[lmk if you wanna be added or removed via ask or reply]

BNHA: @shawkneecaps

[throwingmuses]

need 2 vent about the shit show that was the doctors appt i had yesterday 🤩 cw for weight ment and other eating disorder stuff

ok so basically its been an extreme pain to get into this ed program because i need medical clearance (including blood work) before i can start bc the clinic isnt equipped to help treat medical issues. essentially i have to have a doctor order the blood test or else id have to pay out of pocket and order the tests myself (which i definitely dont have the money for rn), but the soonest appointment my doctor had available was over a month out. so i tried going to several of those walk in clinics and all of them gave me some convoluded answer essentially saying they couldnt help me. finally i found someplace that let me make an appointment with another doctor that was a bit sooner than my other one, so i went ahead and did that. i walked into it expecting it to be pretty brief, and i was confused at first why the doctor was doing a psych assessment when all i needed was a quick physical checkup??? but i was really tired and confused so i just went along with it anyways. from the second i walked in the doctor seemed very irritated and was acting rude for literally no reason. i tried to just let it roll off my shoulders because i desperately needed someone to just order these goddamn blood tests and sign a paper saying im good to go. but then, when she asked me my current height/weight, i told her that i was 5'4 and 120lb, to which she actually fucking responded by saying "Wow, you weigh more than me!" which was EXTREMELY TRIGGERING and has been fucking haunting me in the form of obsessive thoughts ever since. she also implied that my current therapist/psychiatrist wasnt very informed because shes a recent graduate when in reality shes the most knowledgable and up front psych ive ever had and this bitch who thinks shes the hot shit didnt even know that there were different types of bipolar disorder. clearly her "knowledge" of psychology as a whole is extremely outdated. anyways towards the end of the meeting, she told me straight up that the clinic probably wouldnt accept me because im at a healthy weight which is total bullshit because thats not how it works whatsoever and i was already ACCEPTED into the program regardless of my weight. ive had this issue a lot over the years with providers not believing that im anorexic because ive never lost a significant amount of weight and the worst medical issue ive had was having low potassium and almost passing out at work, and im forever fucking baffled as to why that is because i often eat less than 1000 calories per day. like im grateful for my body continuing to take care of me despite all of the hell i put it through, but just because im healthy on paper doesnt mean this shit doesnt terrorize me on a daily basis. anyways at that point i just fucking snapped (which is very out of character for me cuz im rather shy) and i told her that she had no idea what she was even talking about, that anyone with half a brain let alone a degree in psychology shouldnt talk to someone with an eating disorder like that (which she KNEW i had walking into this bc thats what the whole appointment was about), and explaining to her that the stress i have around food is ruining my life and preventing me from doing pretty much anything i want/have to do. after yelling at her she changed her disposition entirely and started acting like a dog with its tail between its legs which was pretty gratifying at least. i was like openly sobbing very loudly afterward tho and like everyone in the office could hear me which i found to be embarassing but Oh Well. then me and my bf talked to her supervisior and told them what happened and they were actually very receptive and apologetic so heres to hoping she gets fired (: also she wasnt even a fuckin doctor so the whole thing was pointless but luckily i got an earlier appointment with my doctor cuz someone cancelled But Yeah Ive Been Fucked Up Ever Since

[tastyykpop]

nct dream and wayv dating head cannon! saw u did one for 127 i wanna see what the other members would b like 🙇🏻‍♂️

Here's the wayv headcannon😌

And dreams under the cut :D

Renjun

aight so renjun isnt even a different person with you

so how he is with the members is basically how he is with you

other than the occasional ‘i love yous’

which he legit cannot say around the members unless he wants to be clowned

"Thats disgusting. Get a room."

"All I said was I love you to her??"

"Exactly."

Says it very randomly too

You'll be ready to take a shower and before you close the door hes like 'i love you' then walks away

anything you guys do, renjuns gotta be a smartass about it too

“you’re performing beyond live today?”

“no im just getting dressed and getting my makeup done to go to the bathroom.”

youve slapped him once (like in a friendly ish way😌)

but who hasnt

renjun takes you on almost every dream trip even if you didnt know the members well

Its a whole mess

Either you and renjun are chilling in the car, head on top of one's shoulder

Or you're trying to annoy each other and see who could break first while chenle cheers you on

In all seriousness tho renjuns always looking after you

Unless you trip or something then he's gonna step to the side and watch you fall while laughing

Jk jk but hes literally the kindest

Feeds you even if your full

Gets you clothes randomly

Makes sure your okay

If you aren't, he'll stop whatever he's doing to make sure you're at your best

Even if it takes a long time

Cuz ✨patience✨ is key

Jeno

ahhhh omg the SWEETEST MF

if you think anyone else would be youre wrong

No I don't take criticism

But shhehshjejs

Literally would walk to the end of the world for you

Mans is crazy in love😩

Cannot take his hands off of you

Has to kiss you at least 347 times a day or its not love🙄🚫

Yes he counts who do you think he is

Aight fr tho hes like a mom

Lowkey a mini doyoung minus the nagging 😌

Is he funny in a relationship?

No </3

Im kidding hes your normal everyday jeno

He can crack jokes and its pretty funny but you try not to laugh

Will actually wrestle you if you let out a dry 'haha'

Fr tho

Hes even whipped a pillow at your face for that

And everyone watched like 👁👁🍵

Omg prepare for the eye smiles

Especially if its something cute cuz he just goes (◜◡◝)

Even does it when you're frustrated

Highkey has to stop himself if you guys are in public

But fails miserably

Jaemin

This man right here officer

mf makes you feel so freaking special and sexy everyday

Cuz you are shut up

Any chance he gets (which is every other second) he'll always bring up how pretty you are

Then continues flirting like yall aren't dating

"Youre so pretty, I just wanna take you out and show you off to everyone."

You: ✨blushes✨

Its just me falling in love with a man bye

Random kisses throughout the day

Plus back hugs and neck kisses 😤

Hes a sucker for just being able to hold you

Will not let go if you have to leave for work

Always makes dumb excuses for you to stay

"I called and told your boss that our dog was sick and we have to take him to the vet"

"We don't have a dog..."

"Your boss doesn't know that"

The amount of times he's gotten you out of work is insane

But can you blame him?

You would do the same if you could cuz ffs is na jaemin

On his day off he loves spending the day cuddling and watching shows

Or go cafe hopping cuz he hasn't gotten his 5 shots of espresso that day☕

"Wanna try my coffee?"

"Does it look like I have a death wish?"

Chenle

To sum this relationship up

Its basically you both laughing at the members or making stupid jokes

The majority of your relationship is you and chenle with jisung because bff tings💅

No like jisungs basically your child now

Back off jaemin

Aight frfr chenles a pretty chill bf

Hahaha sike

Nah its always loud

Theres never quiet convos with he two of you

And if there is, something up🤚

You guys are like best friends tho

But too close to be best friends

Its still pretty awkward

So there's barely any kisses or hugs

Rip

Whenever he actually kisses you he just kinda steps back and blanks out

And you're like 😳

He makes up for it tho

Whenever he has the chance he'll take you out to a restaurant

Or for a walk

Omg bro 🤭

If you go for walks hes always trying to hold your hand

Does he succeed?

Only if you grab it yourself cuz he's too shy

It will probably take him a few more months before he's less shy with pda

Then he's gonna be on top of you 😀

Jisung

Oh man

Hes so shy❗❗

Mostly because this is probably his first real relationship so hes just first experiencing this stuff

If you're not very experienced with relationships either ooooo lordddd its gonna be that awkward kind of love

The members literally have to make you guys hug

Like its painful to watch you both just stand there like🧍‍♂️

But like????

Yall are so cute??

And for what 😳

Jisungs very gentle tho

Basically whenever he touches you its very soft, feathery touches

Its quick for jisung to overcome his shyness with you

So once hes done being a baby🥺

he actually will give you plenty of kisses

Holds your hand almost everyday

Def compliments your hands because they're so small compared to his

Likes looking at the size difference

Absolutely adores when hes laying on your lap and you start playing with his hair

Starts whining if you stop and will grab your hand and force it back onto his head

"Imma go get a drink."

"No you're gonna stay here and play with my hand whether you like it or not😐"

There's plenty of times where he subtly shows you off to the members because he's that in love

"Y/n is sooo cool. She let's me have coke after 11pm."

Jeno just blinks at him then walks away

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

warning: suicidal thoughts

An anon sent me an ask but the content might be unsettling / triggering to some of you, so I wanted to put it under keep reading and you can choose for yourself if you want to read it or not.

Remember, I'm not a doctor. I probably need therapy way more than you (you're reading the smut, I'm writing it XD).

I'm just a person. But there was a time, long ago, when I wanted to scream into the abyss and I really wished the abyss could scream back.

It never did.

But this time is different, because this time someone chose me as their abyss and I'm choosing to scream back.

from anon:

What you write hits me so hard. The use of mental health is amazing and it makes me feel better to know someone else goes through this...but I wanna scream. I'm so alone. I don't want these thoughts anymore but its a weight I've had on me for weeks and I've nobody to talk to. Literally, no one. My friends have school in the morning, my parents don't want me to go downstairs. I'm in bed and I don't like this anymore.

I'm not expecting you to answer this post especially as its an anon one and you cannot privately answer because then it will have to be public and thats just an odd thing to have on your page but jesus... I needed to rant. I don't even know you and you don't know me.

But it hurts.

Everything fucking hurts and I don't wanna put up with it anymore. I will try my hardest not to end everything but its so fucking hard. I don't even know if I'm strong enough anymore.

I'll try not to.

I don't need to burden a stranger with my death....heh...

Sorry, I'll stop this stupid thing now.

Idk if I should even send this. Oh well...Imma do it anyway.

Also I hope you have an amazing day. You are a great human. :) Be Happy ~

Ah, where to begin.

All of my works have a part of me in them. There are bits and pieces of my story, my thoughts, my feelings, mixed with fiction. Even if you collected them all, you wouldn't know everything about me. I have avoided certain parts, deliberately been vague, chopped up and rewrote things.

You didn't come here for me. You came to read BTS smut (yeah, I see you, you ain't sneaky about it). You came to imagine choking on Jeon Jungkook's dick or getting fucked by Min Yoongi (or literally any other member; I'm just listing the two I write about most lol).

But I'm the writer.

And I can't help but put part of me in everything I write.

I know this feeling, the loneliness you speak of, even if you think I don't.

I don't know what it's like for you, but for me, it was always this way. Ever since I could remember, being surrounded by people and still feeling utterly alone was there. My childhood? Kinda shitty. The details don't matter - what matters is that the only solace I had was reading books. I read so fucking much when I was a kid, because I could not stand the loneliness that seemed eternal. I felt pain and I didn't know if it was because someone inflicted it upon me or if it was because I was doing it to myself, thinking that was what I deserved.

So I read.

And I started writing myself.

For me, this is solace. This is the place I can be anyone, anything, and I can create a world that is all mine. It is still lonely. Maybe even pathetic. Think about it, I'm literally writing porn about dudes in South Korea who don't know I exist and pretending they care about me (I'm aware that they don't). If they knew, at the very least they would be disappointed in me. Disgusted, or worse.

I've accepted I'm not a very good person.

But I also think that, maybe, just maybe, someone out there reading my stuff takes a pause and forgets about their worries, their fears, their sadness, and they feel 1% better. Maybe. I don't know. I'm not you. Maybe someone out there reads my stuff and they fall asleep dreaming about fucking BTS instead of being awake all night thinking about their pain.

Therapy? Mmm, a big stretch.

But it's something.

I'm not trying to save the world one BTS smut story at a time (LMAO what if that was my tagline tho). I'm just trying to work through my mind, my pain, and I'm posting it here. Maybe it helps you. Maybe it doesn't. Maybe you're only here to learn how to suck dick (I do write a lot of blowjob scenes, but honestly, it's practice XD).

The number of times I have typed and wanted to say something about myself to you, my readers, and then deleted it because I think, "nobody cares about you, they just care that you write porn."

It is reflected in this part of head+heart

“They’re taking so much from you... You keep giving. That’s dangerous. Their selfishness will hurt you. They’re think of you less and less as a person and more and more like a factory. They’ll treat you like a thing they’re entitled to and not like a human being with feelings.”

I'm not saying that's all of you. In fact, if you've read this far, it's definitely not you. But it exists. Not just me, but for BTS too. Anybody who is a creative goes through this feeling.

I am going to do what I continue to do. I won't pressure you into reading. I won't tell you how to live your life. I won't give you meaningless advice that you can't listen to right now because you're visiting the dark place and even good advice can get twisted there, morphed into something it's not because your mind is tricking you.

Life is cruel. Unfair things happen. You can't control it.

There are many paths in life. Everyone has good and bad in them. "Who said people are animals of wisdom? / For me, obviously, we are animals of regret." And yet. "There is nothing permanent in the world. / Everything is just a happening passing through." Happiness is not forever, but neither is pain. The you of right now is not permanent.

Living just to chase a perfect life will leave you unfulfilled. Living for the sake of living is harder. It seems meaningless. Happiness is so fleeting when pain is so crushing. Living to get hurt, living just to float along, living to constantly have to decide what is good and what is bad, only to figure out that the only person who can determine those things is you, because this is your life.

The only person who can live your life is you. You are the only person who can see your tomorrow. So, I ask you.

What if you live like that?

:)

[pigeonxp]

YGCMA songs and how they relate to c!Wilbur based off of yesterday’s lore (in my biased opinion)

This is so dumb and i literally don’t care. I can’t think about anything else other than doing this synopsis even tho like 28480329204 other people are going to do it. idc. 

(I listened to the songs earlier, and i’m also listening to them as i write the opinions. these are basically just my thoughts while listening tbh. im also not doing the full song, just some things i feel relate within each song)

- Jubilee Line

the lines at the beginning of the song, “hate to see you leaving / a fate worse than dying” could relate to how wilbur feels after tommy gets pulled back into the overworld. or, he could be referencing L’Manburg and how he hates to see his country leaving him (ouch). 

then we have the lines “your city gave me asthma / so thats why im fucking leaving / and your water gave me cancer / and the pavements hurt my feelings”. This could be in relation to L’Manburg as a whole. He put everything he had into L’Manburg and it only ended up hurting him in the end. yikes. 

now we have “shout at the wall / ‘cause the walls dont fucking love you” repeated. This could be in reference to when he said he was fucking kicking and screaming to get out of the train station. hes screaming and he doesnt care because it doesnt matter to him. it doesnt love him just like how the people of L’Manburg didnt love him. wilbur get therapy challenge.

so based on the lore from yesterday, we know that c!wilbur’s limbo was a train station (props to fanartists. i love you.), presumably the YCGMA album cover type deal. when he sings “Theres a reason / that London puts barriers on the tube line / theres a reason / that London puts barriers on the rails” repeated. if the train station looks like how they do on the album cover, there could be barriers where he is. maybe hes trying his best to just kill himself over again by jumping onto the tracks. just in an attempt to escape. jfc 

“theres a reason they fail”. he was still in the train station, wasnt he?

- Saline Solution

for this one, i feel like hes pretty far into the void and regretting his decision to have phil kill him. hes tired of being in a fucking train station for years on end. 

“i think this time im dying / im not melodramatic / im just pragmatic beyond any / reasoning for thinking ive got / fuckin rabies or something.” hes so fucking sick of being in this goddamn train station and he thinks hes dying. hes so pent up and sick of being there, maybe hes just in so much pain that he feels like hes dying. if hes been there for a while, hes probably bound to go crazy at some point, hence the “pragmatic beyond any reasoning.”

“I think ive lost my mind / blurring the fact and the fictions” this feels like he really does believe hes going crazy and is mixing up the things he really knows and the things his mind is creating for him. maybe this is when tommy first arrived and he cant tell if he real or not (thats a stretch but i figured id share it anyway.)

“I think ive made my choice / im a deceased playing victim / slip the face, slip the victory” he quite literally says that hes a deceased playing victim. hes literally saying hes dead HAHHAHAH anyway. maybe hes blaming himself again, because us c!wilbur apologists all know that hes very good at doing that.

“Sit secluded in hatred /.../” hes sitting in a fucking train station for god knows how long beating himself up over and over again and just hating himself. hes all alone. with himself. someone he fucking loathes.

this is honestly all i have for Saline Solution, but i will definitely add more later if i get different theories. 

- Since I Saw Vienna

This is my favorite song on the album and my comfort song so that could factor into this bit ahaha

im going to skip through this one a little bit and go to the line “The roads are my home, horizons my target / if i keep on moving, never lose sight of it / treating my memory of you like a fire, let it / burn out, don’t fight it, try to move on” this sounds like hes reminiscing on his home in L’Manburg and his presidency was something he relied on and he would fight to get it back, but now that hes dead and said that it should remain that way that he should just let it go. trying to move on from his symphony, forever unfinished. 

 “its been sixty weeks since i saw vienna / a bandage and a wide smile slapped across my face / ill pick up my hiking boots when i am ready / and ill put down my roots when im dead.” THESE LINES FUCK ME UP IN GENERAL BUT HOW THEY RELATE TO C!WILBUR RN IS JUST SUIBHYSBUSHDXNSKJDNHBD YK???? in the context that vienna is L’Manburg and he died, its saying that its been a long ass time since hes seen it and hes faking being okay about his death. he misses it but doesnt want to admit it. the picking up the hiking boots when hes ready is him moving on from his L’Manburg, and putting his roots down when hes dead is finally being okay with not living there/being an important part of it. he believed his death was the best for the people in L’Manburg and L’Manburg itself. it seems like hes still trying to convince himself. 

“Ill be gone then, for when you must be alone.” hes gone. hes dead. hes in the train station. he left the L’Manburgians alone and hes alone in his limbo. man. 

- Losing Face

this song is angry. hes so fucking angry. my thoughts are that this is about the following presidents after him. he feels like the L’Manburgians were happier without him and im pretty sure he believed that even when Schlatt was president. this is so evident in the lyric “Is he better than me?” Hes literally asking if the other presidents were better than he was. he doesnt believe he did everything he could to be the best president, even though we all know that he gave everything that he was into that country and then some. he broke himself for the L’Manburg but he doesnt believe hes enough. sheesh.

“Ive seen him / ive been him / ive felt the same way” even though he cant see the new presidents being president, he knows what its like. he knows that they might break under the pressure. hes been there. he knows how if feels. yikes. 

“Ive lost all meaning / ive lost my sense of hope” this feels like when he was nearing the end of L’Manburg when he blew it up, and that he feels like trying to win it back is pointless. he has no hope for it anymore, so why not give up? his mental state is already shit yk so i cant really blame him for feeling that way. 

“i dont care / i want you here / as long as youre happy, i dont care” this line. this fucking line. hes lost hope in being president, but he doesnt care. he just wants the L’Manburgians to be happy. that was his whole thought process while he was president. he didnt matter to himself, he just wanted them to be happy. he sacrificed his mental state for them. cries in wilbur apologist.

- Your Sister Was Right

this is my second favorite song on the album i think HAHAHAH

anyway

“I use everyone i ever meet / i cant find the perfect match / abuse those i love / while i ostracize the ones who love me / back.” wowie wow wow fucking ouchie. He feels like he uses his friends. this whole thing is a projection of his shit ass mental state rn fucking hell. he feels like hes abusive. thats what everyones been telling him. they tell him he was awful and a shit president and all that jazz even though hes been killing himself trying to be the best for them but its still not enough (pigeon projecting? more likely than you think)

“every time that i miss you / i feel the way you hurt / and i dont deserve you / you deserve the world / though it feels like we were built / from the same dirt.” man. hes dead lol. he misses the L’Manburgians. not only were they his supporters, but they were all his friends too. every time he misses his friends he feels their pain of when he first blew up L’Manburg. he feels like because he caused them all pain that they dont like him and that they never liked him and that he is undeserving of their friendship. he still wants to be friends with them. he still loves them. he still wants the best for them. he thinks theyre so much better than him even though they all created L’Manburg together. in reality they are all the same, but their actions impact each other and he feels that his actions make him worse than them or less than. fuckisonmdfnpbhife

“and i hate to say it / but your sister was right / dont trust english boys / with far too much free time” sister is dream mayhaps. fuckngeionsfjg that hurt sorry uhhh anyway yeah sister is dream?? he did say that wilbur would be a shit president and he believes that hes a shit president so he thinks they were all right about him being a shit president  fbhjebinfnejg. maybe sister is just everyone who didnt believe in wilbur. man....

“a fucking waste of time” do i even need to explain this one? he fr doesnt belive hes worth it anymore and that hes literally a waste of time. hjkfbhnfve

- La Jolla

this one feels pretty far into train station limbo to me as well. namely from “and im lonely / there i said it” this could either be him being lonely as president and feeling like he doesnt have anyone to talk to really because hes too busy trying to hold himself together for everyone. either that or hes lonely in the station and didnt want to admit it because this is what he wanted. he wanted to die. he wanted to be dead because he believed thats what everyone else wanted and he just wanted the best for them. 

“i could go away / i could pack my things and be gone before you wake” he could leave if they asked him to. he would do anything for them. 

“you know ive tried hard to love me too / it always seems to fall in, through” this line already physically pained me but now it hurts even more having to relate it to a character i love. we already know that his mental state was declining as his presidency continued, but this would confirm that hes just trying to love himself even though he can never seem to get it right. 

“my own personal sunset” this is just the ‘this is my sunrise’ line but different. my man misses the sun. fuck. 

- I’m Sorry Boris

this song is almost definitely from a long ass time in the limbo. 

“and im sorry / but, boris / im leaving / im not good for anyone here” boris represents L’Manburgians!! hes talking about how hes leaving the world by planning on killing himself. fuck. 

“we reached the end of a decade” mans been dead for a decade. sheesh. 

he then goes on to say that he cant believe hes leaving, he doesnt think he wants to leave them, but he thinks its whats best for them.

he talks about how they do all of these bullshit things before helping you and i know its in reference to london but for the sake of my sanity its about the presidency role and how it will fuck you up before bothering to help you not want to kill yourself.  

should i do a separate post about how i visualized it/about how i thought about the song in paragraph form like a lowkey explanation? idk how to explain it but in this one i wanted to just cover some of the lyrics of the songs and my thoughts on them. i think c!wilbur wrote these in the limbo after he died. i know this is also shit and Not Good, but i really just needed to get my thoughts out before it killed me. i also didnt reread this. its probably repetitive and shit yk. i do Not Care. id also love to hear thoughts on this if yall want to. if you made it this far i love you please hydrate and eat today and youre so sexy ahaha 

“and even though im finished / im not quite done with it” even though hes finishing his symphony by blowing it up, hes now realizing he wished he hadnt blown it up and that he hadnt killed himself. man. 

-

[seijch]

ANNOUNCEMENT: NOT A HELLO, BUT NOT A GOODBYE EITHER

omg hi ... im like . ashamed to come back after saying brief hiatus in october and then disappearing off the face of the earth til FEBRUARY but under the cut i will be explaining myself and the following, if youre interested (and a tl;dr at the very bottom if you don’t wanna scroll thru this obnoxiously long post):

the reason(s) i was gone for so long

what i was doing during that time (its just a personal account yall can scroll past this idrc)

the status of those um . halloween requests

the future of this account

i. so . Hiatus .

i know. i know . i probably mentioned it when i made the announcement post, but my mental health likes to go on one of those rides. yknow the ones where you go like up rlly fast then down maybe and then up then DOWN .... its like that. i needed a break and every time i wanted to come back or thought about it, something would happen and i would get stuck in my own head.

a big reason for getting stuck in my head was (and i hate to admit this ... i hate to admit that i have Insecurities On The Internet) my feelings of inadequacy regarding my writing. i love to plot fics, i love concepts and characters and making little headcanons but i dont ... know if i love writing rn. and i thought for the longest time that like . whatever ill just push thru it its fine ill be fine but it kinda wasnt lmao you can kinda see it in my halloween reqs and what become of them when i get to that but i began to feel like nothing i had put out or would put out would hold up prose wise (and normally i dont feel like this im much more “idc its my life im living it” but thats not a rant for tumblr LMAO). i still feel like that -- like im better as a reader than a writer. but . You Know :-)

tl;dr: mental state go brrrrr

ii. anywhere here’s wonderwall

when i left, i was in a steadily decreasing mental and emotional state, made worse by a situation at work that really was a case of petty jealousy on my end and rlly isnt very consequential now despite how much pain and resentment it gave me when it Was a problem so i wont get into it. the tl;dr of november and december was me using work as an crutch and distraction -- i know my job, i do it well, it helped me not think about my responsibilities and obligations and inadequacies. of course, as the holiday season grew busier n busier i was scheduled so often that i moved 88 or so miles (according to my apple watch, which i ONLY wear at work since im never anywhere else outside my house) and fell into a cycle of showering n sleeping at my house before going back the next day. (theres definitely something to be said abt capitalism and “grind culture” here but once again its not the time or place snsjkdfds)

at the turn of the new year, i happened to remember a birthday card i hadnt filed away for safekeeping from a friend of mine that id been horribly out of touch with til that point. i started crying because i realized how out of touch id been in general up until that point. the month of january was great for me: i was focused, happy, and in a much better place than i had been before. the end of it brought me down focus wise and im hoping that enough time away from my distractions will refocus me bc i ... need it LMAO and though ive burned out from that level of productivity and gotten distracted again im ... trying to stay positive which i think is the most i can do 😁👍🏼

media wise, i got real into stardew valley (but burned out bc i played it extensively as a way to wind down after work), the pokemon platinum romhack renegade platinum (still havent finished it bc of school n i played it w the intent to see if i could nuzlocke it ... bitch its so hard but its so fun bc of it), briefly assassins creed: odyssey (im one of those ppl who completes an entire region before i move to the next so you can tell i burned out of that one + wouldnt have the time to properly devote to it even if i didnt), got back into genshin impact after pulling for xiao (after not touching it for like . months), and danganronpa. yes . danganronpa 😐 i Know. i stopped playing it after the second trial of the first game bc i was so hurt by the outcome and picked it up in late january only to get sucked in (thank god i had the foresight to buy the second and third games during the steam winter sale). rn im at the start of chapter 4 if anyone wants to come in my asks and um . talk to me abt danganronpa

tl;dr: I’m Into Danganronpa Now

iii. you realize halloween was three months ago right

i mentioned this in the first section, but i love to plot things. every request is plotted or at least has a solid foundation. i had fun detailing what concept i wanted to go with considering what i was given, and there were some bangers i might touch up in the future. but heres whats going to happen to the requests themselves:

there are two finished requests. one will be posted tomorrow and the other will be touched up (just bc i finished it doesnt mean its good 🧍‍♂️) and scheduled for next saturday. as for the ones i never got around to ...

i will not be finishing those requests. i hate to be That Person, but i feel like we all expected this 🧍‍♂️ what i will do is post all of my notes for each request in batches -- requests that have an @ to go with them will be mentioned in the post proper, but anon asks will be pictured. (there are some asks that came from blogs who are now deactivated but i wrote down all the prompts and remember most of those askers so ill cross that bridge when i get there) there will most likely be an excerpt or two simply bc i think i mightve written a few plot points or interactions in the form of bullet points. i rlly am sorry about doing this but i remember looking at my notion doc with all the prompts and feeling ... like i wasnt measuring up n it wasnt just to myself or to some intangible concept of “other” id constructed but it was instead to those who requested n actually WANTED to see and hear and read my writing and i ...... im gonna admit thats another big reason i avoided this site.

regardless, youll definitely get what i have (and likely more than just my bullet points and illegible handwriting).

tl;dr: im sorry. what i have in terms of plot, concept, and interaction for every request will be posted, but i cant say ill ever complete them and mean it.

iv. so what now?

well i mean . im not entirely sure how sold i am on haikyuu in the content creation department (as a creator n to a lesser extent, as a consumer). as mentioned previously, its no longer my primary focus. it doesnt mean im not into haikyuu anymore; i have a lot of love for those boys but i cant rlly say im even caught up w recent fandom activity and also havent even finished s4 pt2 LMAO thats on my to do list

and despite all that, i still want to share my plots n concepts and snippets and maybe even fics. it wont happen anytime soon. it might not even happen. but i mean . its better than me saying i wont write ever again shjdkfs but either way ill probably use this blog as a personal blog w the occasional ask game for dialogue prompts (those are always so fun i love making up aus to fit like . the most mundane prompts)

as for my works (past and any potential future), ive opened an ao3 acc here n ill be editing n possibly expanding on my old works to post there. tumblr, to me, is The x reader hub, but i figure more x reader fics on ao3 is never a bad thing.

ill be deleting/posting drafted posts to the queue since they were all meant to be queued anyway as well as (sorry again 🧍‍♂️) deleting or answering asks in the inbox. (moots if you get a notif from me saying i rbed your post from months ago ... mind your business) im very hard to get ahold of and its ... a problem. expect an overhaul of the nav n shit to reflect my new direction n also because i feel like i cant tell if my passion for carrd is shared by the majority HSDKLFS maybe its better to read my info in a normal post ykwim .......

and of course . if youve read all this n decided im no longer worth the follow, i sure as hell cant stop you. thank you for wanting to, at some point, hear what i have to say -- it means more than you think.

tl;dr: writing will be edited and reposted to ao3, this blog will be a personal blog with a hint of writing (sometimes)

the tl;dr to end all tl;drs:

im back! i wont be as active as i used to due to a lessened interest in haikyuu in general, but i have an ao3 acc now where all my past work will be edited, possibly expanded, and reposted. any future work will also find itself there. my halloween requests will be posted in batches as incomplete concepts, plots, and snippets of scenes; i wont be promising to finish any of them.

there are still fic concepts im attached to and want to finish, but i cant promise any more writing on my end. this blog will be a personal blog with maybe writing, not a writing blog with my personal thoughts all over it.

regardless if you stick around or not, its been crazy sexy cool (equal emphasis) being on haikyuu tumblr even tho i wasnt around for long ... even tho its not my main focus anymore, im still excited to see what the future might hold 🤝

love, ari 💌

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

hehe glad i could make you laugh, oooh that sounds awesome! yeah id love to be tagged it sounds great :)

YES the differences are so fucking weird. like, they do know they're the same age right? i feel like its just an exagguration of how much the persons role in the group matters, like we see chan being held up as such a mature, old leader while jungkook who is literally the same age, is still babied etc. like enha hyung line is basically the same age (if a bit younger) as chenle and jisung but somehow the rules are different?? as you point out, still legal but still bizarre. hehe yeah, i mean where else are we going to rant? quora lol. mmm, hopefully more people can just write less smut abt people who are barely adults

ah, no prob it didnt take long. yeah i think thats right (i keep forgetting you know my url lol) mmhmm :( i think if that happened irl there would be some major trauma going on. knock wood it never happens to you or me lol (/hj)

hehe same! oooh glad Redemption For Cheese was realised! yess we cant rllycomplain that theyve written/produced too much good music lol. yeah, ive dragged him into being a stay so *dusts hands off* mission accomplished. mmm yeah, they tend to have a certain vibe but tbh it couldve worked if they were any other group but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ahh ur one step ahead of me on the stages of listening to ssick i think, still not convinced but thats okay! hehe, it had to be said. yesss the itch in the back of my brain is very satisfied by sorry i love you, felixs vocals deserve to be appreciated! (side note i feel like hes trying to sing more like his speaking voice, sorta husky, but tbh i wouldnt be mad if he sang like in glow, his sweet honey vocals made my life lol. but i think ive heard him say he doesnt like singing like that cos it makes his normal voice less husky, so what can you do)

> YES SOMEONE SAID IT. seungmin rap KING, he sped thru that rap like it was nothing, he deserves more rap lines. i do like how they gave minho some melodic rap lines this comeback, my guy deserved to show off those skills that made him not be eliminated (flashbacks to stay collectively wanting to murder jyp) and we already know changbin can sing, my man murdered masked singer. hyunjin can obviously sing as can jisung and felix, and i want to hear chan rap more! i feel like he started as part of 3racha (as a rap unit not producing) and then just became a vocalist (which im fine with, but it could be nice to hear him flex his rapping skills) and was partially replaced by hyunjin. anywayyy

back to album talk. lmaooo sad music to twerk to PERFECTLY describes silent cry. yes secret secret is and will always be, a masterpiece. hehe glad i could make you laugh :) i just felt like they have similar vibes. putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised. oh my beloved track, red lights. ahh thats okay, we can have different opinions, but by god the lyrics are *chefs kiss*. *banging on table* TWISTED AU TWISTED AU TWISTED AU. yess id love to see ur take on it! sdfghjkl it would have been glorious

no no! not stupid, just able to predict my brainwaves. ooooh thats so cool! makes me want to go there (wherever there is lol) yeah the waves are pretty good here, but none of my familys a surfer, so we dont rlly enjoy the full potential lol. YES moving on to gone away, it is indeed a heartwrenching track, but the vocals and the bloody key change? makes me want to brave being sad just to listen to it. mmm yeah, good point :( i feel like ive just gotten used to overthinking so much so that it doesnt matter what mood im in, ill do it anyway, so might as well just do what i feel like doing anyway.

yeah i think ur right! it is quite comforting knowing that all the tracks will get the love they deserve. i feel like also people assume kpop is just one genre which is utter bs. there are so many different vibes and feels and songs, i couldnt get into kpop (of which i thought only the bright cheerful present day bts stuff existed smh) until i heard gods menu so... idk where i was going with this but yeah. :)

YES FUCK YG, theyre literally on the brink of being kicked out of the big three and they are holding their salvation hostage without letting them do ANYTHING. idek what thought process goes thru their minds but arghhh its so infuriating. yess lisa's cb will be awesome but ot4 is the gold standard here.

hehe, glad u could get to this point. no no! u dont sound like a cult member at all lol yeah, i loooove some of their songs but the whole 23 members thing is getting to me. thats prob a common problem with nctzens but what can i say? im a simple girl with a limit to how many korean boys i can give my money to. atm im just trying to get into ateez and finish memorising enhypen's faces. also kard is kinda sucking me into their fandom atm, as well as eric name lol. ah what can you do? ooh thats good!

hehe i love it too! its exactly like online penpals, that was rlly well put. aww ty! hmm im okay, recovering from a bad case of rsv so thats fun. im doing okay mentally, starting therapy soon (after having to convince my mother that its not just smth i can brush off). physically i wont go into, basically i should be doing stretches to help but they dont completely fix it so my lazy ass doesnt do them, plus i got told recently im going to be stuck with this condition for the rest of my life so thats fun! ah, before you type smth dw abt me ill be fine. the weather atm is cloudy but warm, its been raining on and off today which is good for the garden. uhh i just finished reading sunburnt veils and im in the middle of prom theory which is rlly good. ummm ive got a concert tonight? that i may or may not be able to sing in (bc of the whole rsv thingo) and uhhhh idk. my dog is cute? im drinking tea rn? ive got a school dance coming up?

wbu? hows ur day going, how are you? whats the weather like on ur end? done anything interesting lately? found smth that makes you rlly happy? just any random thing youve been dying to tell someone?

no no! dont apologise, i love these exchanges. i think im happy to continue them for a long time :) on the other hand, if you get tired of them, feel free to just not answer at any time. goodness gracious this was a long ask haha hope it isnt too annoying

<3 w.a. 🐺

sorry it took me a bit to reply, i was fixing my theme ;n;

yeah, i figured it was because of the roles too. my friends and i still get taken aback when 3rd gen idols are the same age as 4th gen ones. in my head it doesn't add up sometimes. PLS THE RANT AT QUORA SKJDK tbh tho it's just going to be normalized as the years pass? esp that the boys are growing older and the amount of explicit fics will just increase. i might have to start blocking tags.

i had to look up the previous ask to remember what we were talking about xd i hope the events in champagne problems never happens to anyone. realistically, it probably happens a lot. damn i really won't wish that pain on anyone. dragging your brother into being a stay i whEEZED JFKSA additional noeasy music enthusiast o.o and ALL I CAN SAY WITH YOU GUSHING ABT FELIX IS AHA WHIPPEEEED OML can't blame you tho, i also want to hear felix sing more in other shades (if that makes sense HAHA) i really hope they'll do the role exchange in the next comeback :( or like in the near future bc i know they can do it :( the day i hear seungmin rapping it i will respectfully pass away. minho was given more lines this comeback thank fUCK i could rmb my irl being vocal abt her frustration. i don't get why minho barely has center time/lines in title tracks??? like the line distribution in the past eras just made me ???? if seventeen can balance lines with 13 members why cant a group of 8 do the same? moving on. i haven't watched the stray kids show simply bc i don't want to cry HAJS but i've seen clips. imagine if skz debuted without minho and felix?!?!? i rmb another irl catching bias feels towards changbin bc of the masked singer only to find out that the man's a rapper. i love how skz's vocals were highlighted this comeback :c there were a lot of mellow tracks! i find it cute when chan sings/raps bc it gets kinda obvious that he's a foreigner? the accent (im not even sure if it's the accent) it just shows. "putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised." CORRECT.

abt the twisted au o.O i'll inquire my irl if she wants to write it or not. if she doesn't want to, i'll do it. i miss writing twisted aus <3___<3 and i also miss going to the beach with my friends :' ) but it's starting to get cold here and i don't think i'll be able to enjoy the beach as much as i would if i went beaching in the summer. so maybe next summer? gone away really has an sm-ballad vibe. the thing about skz being a self-producing group, their songs don't sound like typical jype songs? and i just appreciate that bc in all honesty im not a fan of jyp groups at all. PLS the overthinking. i wish i could mute overthinking.

anyone who assumes kpop is just one genre obv hasn't listened to a single track. if kpop was just one genre why do i like some tracks more than the others??? oh you've only recently become a kpop stan? tbh im not a fan of the bright songs of bts either. i liked their older ones *chefs kiss* really matched high school vibes. yg has good artists and they're just wasting the talent ~.~ that strategy they have will get tiring eventually. people will stop waiting on blackpink and move on to newer more active groups ://

HAHAHAH yeah the 23 members is pretty overwhelming! it was the reason i didn't bother stanning before quarantine started. i don't regret stanning tho, met my ult bias in that group <3___<3 i don't really purchase albums unless i like the tracks xd ohhh getting into ateez just in time for the comeback! let me know what you think about them! i was fond of them at some point but grew out of it. good luck with memorizing enhypen! it took me a while to distinguish to people there XD i haven't checked out kard yet but chan plays their songs during lives and they're sexc hype music me likey *u*

i had to look up rsv im sorry. i'm glad you're recovering! please rest more and don't stress yourself out. bro i wish i could go to therapy too bc i have weird issues i can't justify and i need a professional to tell me what's the reason behind it. stuck with what condition btw? what happened? i'm sorry in case i just forgot. yesterday was a bit rainy for me too :(( it's not the type of rainy that makes me anxious so B) oh concert! good luck and i hope you'll be able to sing but i also don't think it's best for you rn :c what's your dog's breed? and yes i just finished drinking tea too. AAAAA i miss school dances :(( the last one i was supposed to have was cancelled bc of covid.

i was less productive today and i'm teetering between being mentally stable and becoming a hermit again. i'm anxious with a lot of things atm so like : D not the best state. today it was a bit sunny but not hot hot which was nice. i changed my theme today bc i couldn't wait for sept. 1st. and no i haven't found anything that makes me happy HAHAHA shit like that's hard to identify. don't have anything to say too, i'm just thinking about why i'm procrastinating too much atm T_T and i'm listening to this rap song atm and one of the rappers sounded like han.

it isn't annoying! i enjoy the long exchanges but i do admit it takes me awhile to type down a reply. so if i get more busy, it'll prolly take a bit longer for me to reply.

[inkybunny]

MIDORIYA AND A S/O WHO WAS AN ASSASSIN

Midorya was almost finished with school when he met you. He was growing so fast in popularity, the biggest candidate to be the next number 1, of course, that worried villains and paying villains are always welcome to the people who own you. You were the deadliest assassin they had, fast, precise and silent with no fear of death, you were giving all his information. It was a simple plan, luring him with a robbery, attracting him to a specific location without letting he see you and finishing the job, but, of course, killing him proved to be way harder than that.

    It was a surprise when you attacked and he was fast enough to dodge it, you knew he was fast but not enough to dodge an attack he didn't know where or if was coming at all, now, in combat, if he called for anyone it would be mission failed automatically so you needed to finish that quick. Thing is, you weren't made for long battles, you were made for single deadly strikes so the strength difference between you two became obvious quickly.

Deku didn't like the vibe you gave him, not only because you didn't use your quirk at all in the battle so he was always worried about what type of quirk it was, not only because he’s 100% sure he broke one of your ribs while releasing too much power onto you and you didn't even flinch before attacking again, not only because he didn't notice you at all at first and while he was going easy on you to try analyze the situation you almost cut his throat, not only because you didnt talk or react to any of his words. Above all, he hated your eyes, by your appearance you were almost the same age as him, maybe even younger, but your eyes had no life in them, they were… empty. 

    In a blow he managed to destroy your mask and apprehend you, bending some pipes to serve as handcuffs for your arms and legs, a bit overkill, yes, but it was what he had at that moment. He knew he should just call the police and be done with it but, looking at you, since he destroyed your mask he was able to see how innocent and pretty you looked, even with the obvious signs of bad fights, you looked so normal and cute and yet, it felt like you never felt anything, anything at all, not even anger or sadness, you looked so empty and that bothered him so so much.  

    He sitted on your side and tried his best to sound as gentle and kind as possible while talking to you, “What's your name?”, “How old are you?”, “Why do you do this?” he asked as he looked into your eyes with this sad worried look, something you never dealt before, something that filled you with rage. How DARE him treat you with PITY? WHO HE THINKS HE IS? WHO HE THINKS YOU ARE?

    He watched as he notice you were not happy, thinking it would be a nice topic he tries.

“What's your quirk?” 

    You look at him. “Great, at least that got her attention” 

“I figure, since you didn't do nothing special during the fight it was either something to boost your physical abilities or something more mental, like strategic wise, but it could be something other than that and you simply did not got the chance to use it or needed something specific to use, tho I find that quite unlikable since you seemed pretty well prepared to kill me so it would be very out of character to not bring an specific thing you needed to use your quirk” 

You kept looking at him, confused. “He didn't notice?”

  “So… What is it?“ He asked you, with some excitement in his eyes. “She doesn't seem unpleased, just confused, maybe that I was capable of noticing that much?” 

    You scoffed.

“I dont have one.”

“What?” Midorya got a little bit frustrated. “She's lying to me? Probably, but....”

“I don't have a quirk” You looked deep into his eyes, not a single trait of lying on your voice. “I’m quirkless” You said, getting your eyes off him again, looking at the ground.

    A little bit of silence filled your space as Deku was thinking about what you just told him.

“You’re amazing” You looked at him again. “You were able to fight me that well while being quirkless? That's impressive”

It's not like you never heard that before, your owners would often call your victories impressive, but never sounded that… sincere. You looked at the green haired boy as he felt more and more puzzling. “I’m Midorya Izuku, but you can call me Deku if you like” He smiled at you. “What's your name?” 

“I don't have a name, my owners call me 7B”

“Your...Owners?” You nod.

    You could not help but feel extremely comfortable next to that boy, like you could trust him, that he would not take advantage of you, which was super weird, since you just tried to kill him. Midoriya on the other hand, felt his heart grew tight as he felt you had dealt with way too many horrible things.

“Don't move?” You nod as the boy bended the pipes restraining your arms and legs, making you free again.

You got up, killing him was a no chance now, even if you tried to catch him while he was distracted you knew it wouldn't work, you are way too tired and your pain and difficulty to walk straight was an indicative your ribs were definitely broken. You were considering your particular killer alternatives while going away when you felt your arm being grabbed.

“Where are you going?” Silence. “You’re going back?”

“No, they would never take me back with a failed mission, I’m the quirkless assassin, they consider me disposable and less capable than the others, my perfect score was able to keep me alive until now but that's out the window.” - “Others?” Midorya thought with himself.

“Come with me!” You looked at him, confused. “Look, I can help you, Aizawa-sensei can help keep you safe and you can help us find those who did this to you, we can hunt them down and-”

“No”

    No? What? Why? Weren't you unhappy with that life? Didn’t you want to stop murdering people?  Midorya asked himself as he looked at your serious expression, crying for answers.

“You wouldnt understand it” You release yourself from his grip.

“I… I can't understand it if you don't tell me! They are your parents? That's who you call owners? I know it's hard to betray them but…” He stared at your back as you walked away unfazed.

    Parents. Tho is quite unlikely you came into this world with no mom or dad, even tho sometimes you think god created you from nothing to pay for the sins of your past life, your owners weren't your parents, you never had the luxury of meeting them, you don't really know if they are alive or not, not that you have any energy to desire the answer for that. No, all your memories are from inside your owners training, all your memories are being trained within those grey walls and only being out to kill.

“Do you want to live like that forever?” Deku’s voice echoed in your mind, making you angry again.

“Do you think I want to live at all?” You went back to staring at his eyes. “You can't understand it, this is all I am, I’m an useless, quirkless person but being able to force myself at maximum, training harder than anyone else, that made me be here today. How many people do you think I killed? There’s no going back ‘cause there is no back to go to, this, a murderer, is all you’ll have from me.” You felt warm tears coming from your eyes, huh, you can't remember the last time you cried. “Actually, not even that, I couldn't kill my target so, even at the only thing I ever was, I failed. You think you can fix everything with your hero bullshit? I got news for you, some things were made to be awful and there’s no fixing.”

“Do you want to bet?” 

You looked at him, his face was completely serious, bet? Bet what?

“Stay with me for a month, I can make it so you are not suspicious at all, no one will make questions.” He slowly got close to you. “ If, for this entire month, you can't find a single thing you appreciate, if living a normal life, helping people with me, can't make you feel even a little bit of happiness…” 

    Midoriya looked into your eyes with nothing other than honesty in his words. He wiped your tears with his fingers as he looked even more determined.

“I’ll let you kill me!”

“What?” You were so confused, he was saying he would give his life up? For nothing?

“You can't go back to your owners with a failed mission, right? Stay with me for a month, if I can't make you appreciate life then you can go back with the mission completed, say that I captured you to take information but you were able to escape and finish the job.”

    This boy is insane, he has to be, giving his life up for someone he just met? Or he was just so confident in his plan? Maybe he was planning on betraying you and giving you up for the cops, all those questions pop off in your head, in all the ways you could look at this it was weird and completely crazy, insane! And yet, when he standed his hand to you, to firm the agreement, there was a small part of you who wanted to accept it, a small part indeed but so so loud, you felt like the will to accept it echoed through your body as your heart skipped a bit when you looked into Midoriya's eyes and shook his hand. “Deal” you thought.

    Midorya’s smile was the prettiest thing you ever saw.

“Well, since we’re doing this, you're gonna need a name, right? It would be weird for me to call you ‘7B’” You silently looked at him, you never thought of a name for yourself before. “No ideas huh? I could have imagine” He laughed.

“What about...Shizu? You know, as in silent? Since, well your very quiet and all” The boy kept feeling a little embarrassed, he never named a person  before. “No? Thats stupid?”

    The first time in a long long time, you felt yourself smile.

“Shizu is good.”

    Midorya kept every single promise he made you, he took you to so many places, to do so many different things, you read stories for children and went with him seeing the flowers blooming, not even a week in and he won the bet. Your heart was so heavy when you told everyone the truth, way more with the friends Izuku presented to you than to Aizawa-sensei or the cops, when you helped with crashing the Assassins organization. Being completely sincere with yourself you felt happier when everyone from class 1-A accepted you even as an assassin and continued to be your friends like nothing changed than when the judge decided you were not responsible for the things you did while in the organization. 

You still remember the rush of multiple feelings you felt when the widow of one of your victims went to talk to you, as she petted your head kindly and looked at you with those very very sad eyes.

“I’m sorry for everything you had to go through” She smiled. “It's okay, it wasn't your fault, I forgive you.”

    The agonizing feeling on your throat as you fell on your knees and screamed and cried “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry” those words felt like they were trapped for so long.

    You were the one to suggest yourself as a “hero” to the police, not exactly it but that's what they call you. Your skills were very appreciated in the police force and mainly used to serve as a scout or in missions who required fast and silent work, you were technically a hero but, without a quirk, you kept doing those kinda jobs and maintaining yourself low on the hero chart. Not like you didnt like it, in fact, you were quite satisfied with things exactly like that.

       After a year or so, as Midorya were already competing into the top 3, he confessed to you, he never went away and always supported you, even when you were in your “I’m a murderer, a garbage human who dont deserve any of this” moments, he never left your side and always made sure you felt welcomed and cared for, his feelings for you developed steadily for that year and you were completely in love with him as well.

       He was the hand that helped you out of that hell, that showed you kindness and care, nothing more than natural, you fell for him considerably quickly. He was so happy when you said you loved him back and he show you off constantly, to him, getting you off that life was the best thing he ever done, as a hero or not, he can only wish for you the happiest times and he will try his dam best to make you the happiest person on earth, cause, to him, that's what you deserve. 

__________________________

BONUS: “Ah! Shizu, there you are.” Your boyfriend waved at you with the picnic caddy on his hand.

“I thought this was going to be a good spot for the flower blooming.” 

Izuku smiled and seated next to you, starting to open the caddy and put the food on the towel.

“You say that but this is the spot you choose every year!” You laughed, it was indeed, it was the spot Izuku brought you to see the flowers blooming the first time you met.

“You know” Izuku said as he finished with the food and gave you a little kiss on the cheek, he was trying his best but casual mouth kisses were a bit far for him yet. “I was thinking, we gave you a name but isn't it a little bit annoying having to deal with paperwork without having a last name? We should get you one.” 

You looked at him lovely and gave back that cheek kiss making him go a little bit red and smiled.

“I have one in mind, just, not the time yet.”

The green haired man looked at you saying “Hmmm” curious about what type of name you picked. He got two sandwiches and handed you one, your favorite, as usual, you giggle a bit and looked at the trees while taking a bite of the sandwich.

While you looked at the petals falling from not finding a space on the overcrowded trees, you felt happiness and peace. You beg the universe to let you be greedy this one more time, to be able to desire one little thing, you beg the universe as you mouthed the words taking care to not let your boyfriend read your lips, you beg the universe to grant you this one last thing and let you be named

“Shizu Midoriya” __________________________ HEY! Soooo this was fun :3 This is part of a small request I received but I had so many ideas to it I cound not help myself to write and oneshot about it Hope you guys liked it! Gonna post the request soon, dont worry

[silasblvthe]

Silas Blythe is known as the Coin (tails). In Summerset they work as a bar owner but this is only one side of their life. They are also a 127 years old, demon. They identify as cis male and use he/him. Some people even say they resemble Chris Wood, but they wouldn’t be caught dead on the isle. 

heeey everyone, i’m gray !! this disaster child of mine is silas and i’d like to apologize in advance for any havoc he may cause ... i am so excited to start writing with all of u !! this will probably be a bit of a mess bc i am still figuring him out just a bit but here we go

name: silas blythe age: 127 (appears to be a little over 30) species: demon occupation: bar owner label: the coin (tails) song: the guardian by shawn james

backstory

the sun gazes fondly down on you in the clear blue sky. flowers of every color grow as far as the eye can see. there’s a waterfall just ahead, flowing rapidly from great heights ; the sound brings you peace. the calm breeze blows gently through your lover’s hair as she smiles back at you. the warmth makes you feel safe, loved --- like nothing sinister could ever reach you. not here. not when you’re with her. this is your favorite place in the world--no--- in the infinite expanse of the universe. you close your eyes, drink it all in. you’ve stopped walking and she stops with you, turning to kiss each of your eyelids so tenderly that you wonder if you’ve imagined it. when you open your eyes to look, she’s there, still only inches away from your face and you can’t help the smile that forms on your lips. if you could live in this moment forever, you would -- but nothing lasts. nothing this good. not for you. 

if you had known that your life would come crumbling down around you in the next few moments, you would have never ventured to this beautiful place. one second you’re basking in the bliss of being with the one who has your heart in her palm, the next she’s lying cold in your arms as she takes her last breath ( or so you think ). it all happens so fast --- your memory is muddled, you can’t quite put the pieces together anymore. you never imagined that this place would be dangerous, but someone must have followed you. a storm forms above you in all your grief as you hold her close to you, vowing that you’ll see her again. ‘don’t worry,’ you say. ‘ i’ll find a way, i’ll find a way, i promise. this is temporary. i’ll do anything to get you back.’

you and your broken pieces return to avalon, and instead of giving yourself time process what had happened, you immediately begin your search. a way to bring her back home to you. you read every spell book you can get your hands on. your friends and family see your grief and they’re supportive at first, simply because they don’t want to lose you. he’ll stop eventually, right? you overhear them saying to each other. but you don’t stop. you try anything and everything. you ask around in high places, and when that leads to nothing but dead ends, you resort to the lowest of low places. surely someone has to know how to bring someone back to life without using dark magic. you promised yourself a long time ago that you would never go down that path. you’ve lost too many people to darkness already. loss after loss, you start to lose sight of yourself. your family worries about you, and you don’t blame them, but you can’t possibly understand when they tell you to quit. how could you just give up on the one thing that is holding you together? 

you get desperate --- so desperate, you find yourself sneaking around, combing through forbidden spell books filled with nothing but the darkest of magic. the kind that requires pieces of your soul just to cast them. you put the consequences at the back of your mind, unable to think about anything else except the possibility of getting the love of your life back. you also looked into ways to protect her once she was back in your arms, a way to make her invulnerable. you wouldn’t lose her again. never again. 

bit by bit, spell by spell, your soul is chipped away, but nothing is working. the darkness starts to consume you, and cannot stop. you won’t. your fraternal twin sees you struggling, hurting, and the only solution that they see to save you from yourself is to tell the fae queen. you see this as the worst kind of betrayal imaginable.  you’ve damned yourself beyond the point of redemption, so you’re not surprised when they banish you to earth. back to where it all started. perhaps if you were not so far gone, this would have made you realize that it was time to stop, but you were lost in the pursuit for power now. although you give away the last piece of your soul, you feel no remorse. you feel more in control than you ever have in your life, and as time passes, your past feels farther and farther away. you never grieved the loss of your lover, instead you locked the pain away in the darkest corner of your mind. you don’t think about her much now, but every once and a while, you swear you see her likeness in passersby and a twinge of guilt rises inside of you. 

currently 

it’s been a little over 50 years since his descent into darkness ... he is thriving as a demon tbh 

he’s the owner of the most poppin bar in summerset. the employees range from demons to vampires and even some humans ... if anyone acts up he takes care of them immediately , u could say he fires them ... but make it ~ literal ~ 

he has most of the authorities in his back pocket, so if anything goes awry with a human, he gets someone to cover it up < 3 

the bar itself has kind of a modern speakeasy theme to it, with a cool hidden entrance n everything. there’s also private rooms that only some people know about, mostly supernaturals but some humans are aware of them too ... a room to make deals w/ demons when u need a spell cast, a room for vampires to bring humans to drink freely (as long as they don’t drain them), a room with a witch that you can ask favors from -- all for a price, of course, whether it be money or favors. although, silas prefers to be paid in the latter. 

he thrives on chaos, so you won’t catch him breaking up a bar fight unless there’s a human involved and it looks like they might actually end up dead

yes, he is absolutely still bitter about his twin snitching on him to the queen even tho he thinks he’s better off as a demon ... 

he does not often let himself care about others bc of the fear of losing them, but he is loyal to those who are loyal to him 

anyone who gets on his bad side is dealth with ... without mercy 

wanted connections

his main bartender ... preferable a witch or a demon, someone who can enchant drinks upon request !! 

other employees at the bar ; bouncer, cocktail waitresses, cook(s), managers, etc.

i’ll probably make this an actual WC but i’ll put it here for now... hear me out... in a horrific twist his lover is actually indeed still alive but faked her death (for reasons that can be discussed!!) like maybe she was human and got turned into a vampire so thats how shes still alive after all these years or something ... so this becoming a demon has all been for nothing how fun !!! but just imagine all the angst and pain <33 

someone who will stir up trouble with him for funsies ... mess with people just for the hell of it 

alrighty that’s it for now !! please let me know if any of these interest you OR if you want to plot out something else, i am down for pretty much anything tbh ?? 

[kyovtani]

ASKS

hey babies! i’ve decided to answer the asks about back to life one and two like this because ive received so so so many and you guys blew me away so answering every single one of them is the least i can do to show you guys just how grateful i am. thank you so much for giving both parts SO much love, i love and appreciate you guys and the support you’re constantly sending my way with my whole entire heart <33

BYE THE FIC IS SO GOOD SO FAR. MY ANXIETY THO FROM THE ENDING, LIKE PLS KYO REALIZE THE MCS ANXIETY PLS DONT GO OUT WITH SORA PLEASE PLEASE HE SEEN HOW SHE DIDNT LOOK OKAY WHEN HE CAME IN PLEASE REALIZE HER ANXIETY PLEASE

– THANK YOU SO SO MUCH BABY !! this was the very first ask about back to life and it’s honestly the cutest thing ever! I hc Kyoutani to be rally understanding of things like anxiety and depression, generally mental health so that’s why it was easy for him to understand the reader’s situation and mindset! 

BACK TO LIFE!!!!!!!! MY HEART!!!!!?! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SO GOOD!!!!! i was really excited when you started posting about it!! i can't wait for part 2, i wanna know how they fix this!

AAAH !! thank you so much for the love and support baby!!!! I really hope you enjoyed part 2 just as much, sending you lots of smooches MWAH

OH MY GOD THE KYO FIC IS AMAZING

THANK YOU SO MUCH BABY !!!!! 

OH MY GOD YOUR KYOUTANI FIC HAS ME ACTUALLY FROTHING I LOVE IT SM

IM NOT KIDDING WHEN I SAY THAT MY JAW ACTUALLY DROPPED AT THE LAST COUPLE PARAGRAPHS AS WELL I CANT WAIT FOR PART 2

AAAH YOU GUYS !!! this made me so happy !!! thank you so much and I hope part two met your expectations and you enjoyed the ending MWAH!! 

HOLY FUCK THAT KYOUTANI FIC WHEW IT WAS SO SO GOOD IM SO EXCITED FOR PART 2

thank you for the food <33

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE LOVE AND SUPPORT BABY !!!

YOUR KYOTANI FIC AHHHHHHH my heart can’t handle this

I AM SO GLAD YOU ENJOYED IT BABY !!!

OW THE END ON BACK TO LIFE HURTED THOUGH GDFGHJDFHJRY

Was overwhelmed by the hurty that I forgot to say how much I ADORE your characterization of Kyoutani. fdjkhgjkgdr

THANK YOU SO MUCH !! honestly- that means the world to me, probably the best compliment you can give me :((

Back to life was so good OMG 😳😳 HELLO??? You're amazing

Thank you so much, my love! it honestly is everything to me when you guys tell me such sweet things I love you so much MWAH!!

the new fic did not help me with my insecurities now i’m just frustrated and insecure. great writing tho.

honestly- same. when I wrote this, I lit indulgent every bit of my mind working into this fic and thats why it means so much to me ?? so youre not alone, my love; but thank you so much <33

The way I panicked at the end of the fic thinking there wasn’t gonna be more to it, holy shi that fox was so good I almost cried thinking they were just gonna end things like that 🥺🥺🥺🥺

I’d NEVER end a fic like that- I hate bad endings and cannot stand cliffhangers but the formatting didn't give me another choice im sorry for the heart attack baby kfhflashsj but am glad you liked it!

@au-roraaa said: ZADE I WAS NEVER A KYO FUCKER BUT I THINK YOUVE CONVERTED ME HOLY FUCKSJFJSJDJSN

THIS IS MY JOB AT THIS POINT I WANT YOU ALL TO TURN INTO KYOU FUCKERS KSSSOH 

UR THE BEST WRITER WTF?? WHEN DO U THINK PART TWO WOULD BE UP... and does kyoutani flirt with sora 😣💔

YOU GUYS- NOOO- pls my heart made a loop :(( I love you so much :(( thank you baby and I think now you know what he does with sora MWAH

@kawakuto said: hi hi zade!🤩 (ajdjs idk if you remember me but i moved main blogs and I was @/gukooky before LOL) THE KYOUTANI FIC ANDJWNS I DIDNT EXPECT THE END WAHHHH🥺🥺 it was so well written omg I loved it!! (wtf kyoutani, you said we were going slow what if I wasn’t ready to call u my boyfriend wtffff😔😔 pain.)

AAAAH OFC I DO REMMEBER !! hope youre doing well baby !!! and thank you SO much for your sweet words, I honestly appreciate them so much :((<33

pls I’m in love with your writing. You write kyoutani so well so now I’ll always be grabbing at any crumbs you send my way 🥵

thank you so so so much baby!!!! these kinda words always hit me right at the heart, I appreciate them so much and I love you sm much

bb i love ur kyoutani fic sm :(( ur rlly so talented <33 i look forward to pt 2 ^3^

thank you so much baby, sending a smooch your way mwah 

zade that kyoutani piece im in so much pain why would u do this to me 💔💔💔💔

believe me when I say It hurt me even more than you </3

I just finished reading part 2 and it waS SO GOODAJSFHJLFG you did amazing!! (n˘v˘•)¬

THANK YOU SO MUCH BABY !!!

Hi! New nonnie coming through :) First time I'm writing something because I'm such a nervous wreck but I just had to

THE FIC WAS SO GOOD THE VIBES ARE CHEFS KISS. IT WAS SO GOOD I LITERALLY DROOLED I CAN NOT GET OVER IT !

Mister kyotani pls rail me thanks 🐱

THANK YOU AAAH YOURE SO CUTE !!! I truly appreciate this with my whole entire heart so thank you so much baby, hope you have a good one mwah

Wait did he do anything with Sora?

nope!! they just went to the party together but in my mind he didn’t even hug her and she didn’t try anything else, too, simply bc she knew how in love he is with reader!!

YOUR MINDDDDD!! THE KYOU FIC WAS SOOOO GOOOD!! Omg i hope you do a part 3 😭😭

i have a Little sequel which is really really soft but I'd love to write some more for it! 

@soranihimawari said: Part 1 & 2 with kyoutani was amazing as always Zade! I really liked the ending. This was such a fun read. I was wondering who’s else would be sharing the apartment with Kyoutani. What made you choose tattoo artist Iwa & Oikawa? Those two made me chuckle with the way they came in like that. Hope you have a great day/evening/late night/etc.

✌🏼&💜

—sora—

aaah thank you so so much, baby!! I truly appreciate your sweet words, youre the cutest! regarding your question: You shares an apartment with Iwa, Oikawa and Yahaba (who also works at the tattoo studio!) and i don't know to be really honest- I just like the thought of these three being really good friends so after contemplating whether or not to go with iwaoi or matsuhana, I ended up going with those two dorks! hope you have a good one baby mwah!!

@sakusapetals said: PLEASEE I LOVE YOUR WRITING SO MUCH

AAAH THANK YOU SO SO MUCH BABY !!! I LOVE YOU SM 

How long did it take you to write the entire two parts? Like wow that’s alot👁👄👁 i adore long fics though

oooh- hm ?? tbh i don't really know ?? I can’t remember ?? I think it took me about a month or like three weeks since I did write it all in one go yk? it was the only WIP I worked on during that time and it felt SO relieving to publish it! 

AAAHHH the kyou fic was a masterpiece bb!!! ❤️❤️

thank you so so so much baby!!<33

U LITERLALT WRIYE KYOU THE BEST ABSOLUTE BEST. he’s so aggressive and demanding but he still is willing to show someone special his vulnerability. I LOVE READING STUFF ABOUT HIM FROM U

AAAAH thank you so much- you guys have no idea how much these kinda comments mean to me- I love you so MUCH MWAH 

I just read the first part of "back to life" an it had me speechless so many times, almost cried at the end, it's honestly so well written. I'm off to read part two. Have a nice day 🐰

sdoalfsla thank you so much baby! I hope you enjoyed both parts equally as much and thank you for all the love mwah!!<3

Hana is a baddie

SHE IS!! she’s literally the baddest bitch to ever exist ft. saeko ofc but nobody acknowledges it </3

@tonhwa said: I’m in love with the way you write kyoutani pls. Even your previous fics on your old account ( if you don’t mind me mentioning it ) are so fucking amazing. GOSH YOU CHARACTERIZE HIM SO WELL AND THE PLOT IS ALWAYS SO JUICY AND INTERESTING I CANT HELP BUT GO BACK AND READ IT. and then you release this fucking wonderful piece and I feel like it’s my birthday even though it’s already passed LOL ty ily have a wonderful day I’m sobbing tears of happiness

YOU GUYS PLEASE- the fact this made me tear up when I first read it- thank you SO much honestly. knowing you guys enjoy my characterization of my favorite character is honestly everything to me so thank you sm I love you baby have a good one!!<3

I’ve been on this app from high school, and now I’m a college grad. I have to say I’ve never sent a message to anyone I’ve followed. But that tattoo artist! Kyou fic, part 1 and 2 are 😩💕 *chefs kiss* you are one of my favorite writers I’ve ever followed since joining this app. You NEVER disappoint!

-💕 a very satisfied reader

thank you so much baby!! aaah this is honestly so so sweet :(( thank you for taking the time out of your day to send me such a sweet thing, I appreciate it and you so much mwah!!

i gotta say babe THANK YOU FOR THE KYOTANI CONTENT!! muAAAAHH💞💞

NOO THANK YOU GUYS FOR GIVING IT SO MUCH LOVE MWAH!!!

i love kyoutani and he obvs deserves his dick sucked 🤧🤧 but i catch him posting up with other girls I DONT CARE THE SITUATION he gonna catch these hands for a real one 👊🏼👆🏼🤜🏼🥊🥊 kidding 😐😐😐 he’d body me

pls the way this had me chuckling like crazy bc same sajlskjpw he can get mad all he want but he better stay his pretty ass where he is- by my side  😌