#tho i do want to try nd get better to the point where i dont need to lay down as often

[vampyrluver]

Ngl, i think my default positioning is to be laying down. if im on call w u, im probably laying d own, if im hanging w u at ur house, im probably laying down, if ur driving me somewhere im probably pushing the passenger seat down and laying down, i just am the most awake and aware when im laying down, my energy comes back to me when im laying down i just love laying down so much

[sugarache]

class of 09 hcs bc im bored

no minors please <3 nsfw

so firstly the elephant of the fandom... i don't think jeckole would ever happen. just. no. jecka is straight... maybe. and when she isn't i think she understands that while even having nicole as a friend is toxic and damaging to her life, a relationship is just a line she would not cross. she isn't that destructive. i also think nicole respects jecka too much to date her bc she clearly does not see much value in romantic entanglement.

only way i fw jeckole is a modern au, they're in their 30s, miraculously either stay connected/reconnected and are both alive, not too fucked up, and working stable jobs. i actually think modern 30 y/o jeckole would be super cute. or at least maybe they would try dating bc its 2025 who cares, nicole's an open lesbian who dates once in a blue moon, jecka thinks shes probably something but doesn't care for labels. it probably wouldn't last but i think they'd stay friends.

back to hs i only see jecka as bi curious straight girl who makes out w girls at parties. actually flipside made this canon. that being said i think she would experiment in a way that is... maybe less straight girl and more bi curious then she'll admit when sober. i like to think her and kelly happened more than once. also lowkey ship her and ari.... i don't think she would treat ari better than nicole. ok well maybe a bit better. she wouldnt be straight up abusive but she would def want the relationship to be kept totally private, might even be outwardly mean to ari at school so no one suspects. in private i dont think theyd be very lovey-dovey - jecka's bitchy and ari likes being bullied, but i think theyd have better boundaries than nicole and ari did. or at least jecka would never go as far as to cross certain lines in the first place. jecka would see that relationship as the only one in her life where she can be 'dominant' - she's terrified of her father and completly relies on him for support, tries to go along with nicole's insanity but most of the time can't keep up and feels like she needs nicole in order to feel validated more than nicole needs her. (not true. i like the bit in flipside where we see a bit of nicole being depedant on jecka. but jecka wouldnt be able to see that). yeah not super healthy, more so an outlet for jecka and something ari clings to because she's desparate and a baby gay.

like i said, nicole doesn't see value in relationships. but if she did........ i highkey ship emicole ;3 i love the emily suicide pact ending so much and the text she sent to nicole after ughhh that shit hit so right, literally better than any lesbian vn u can find on itch.io. they wouldnt date, just hangout a lot, not even just for drugs but because they genuinly fuck w each other. and sometimes they makeout. do not call emily a lesbo tho she will fuck u up. and dont u know her bf's in m13? and shes also banging some guy in his thirties. emily nd nicole r both toxic as fuck but together two wrongs make a right or smth and it counteracts and its probs the best relationship either of them have, esp since they dont think of it as romantic and therefore dont deal w the stresses that come w being romantically/sexually a couple. so long as nicole doesnt indulge emily too much.... altho theres so much potentional for tragic doomed toxic yuri if she does.

nicole is not a mean popular girl. she's moreso known for the batshit stuff she does and her being besties w jecka, who is realtively popular, like cool with the queen bee but not actually in her possee popular. she's kinda trashy, not emily trashy but enough so that she gets defensive if anyone points it out, particuarly if theyre comparing her and jecka. her family's fine for money, she's just a lot more jaded because of past experinces and isn't extremely materialistic. she def has a cousin who she gets all her clothes from - hand-me-downs. bc of this her style is just the best looking stuff her cousin gives her, not really HER style. she will def have a wolf cut in 2023. she leans more emo but is obvs neevr gonna come to school looking like that bc she's not interested in committing social suicide, she still wants people to think she's HOT, you know?

jecka will go to college, nothing incredly fancy, but not community college. itll be maybe an hour away from home. her dad doesn't give her acess to her college fund bc of this, says its bc she's being a stupid whore by going to one so far away, bet it's so she can sleep with guys whenever she wants bc he won't allow any boyfriends under his roof. further proves she needs to get tf out of his house. she's in the work-study program but it doesnt cover everything so she has to take out loans. sucks but its better than living with dad. (also, he totally emptied the college fund after the divorce and just doesnt wanna admit it).

nicole wouldn't go to college. im thinking one of the endings where she comes into a lot of money happens - either a lawsuit or a death or maybe the coke business goes better than expected. she would move far away, somewhere sunny like miami or cali. i can't see her liking the types of ppl that live in either place but maybe in 2009 cali isnt so bad. high school would eventually become a distant memory.

nicole canonically lifts + boosts. i dont think she'd make enough to move to cali but by senior year its def a side hustle for her. she gets better at it after a few runins with cop. she learns the valuable lesson of flirting is not a reliable way to get out of jailtime when committing a felony.

i dont think nicole regularly does hard drugs - harder than pills, i mean. she'll try most things once - emily is always up for something - but there's def hard lines, like heroin. as seen in flipside, i think jecka is very susceptible to abusing substances when emotionally wrecked, which is a horrible horrible horrible devastating mix. itd be so easy for her to get fucked up on something and not be happy about it.

in a future for jecka more in-line with the endings flipside provides, she's thrown out of the house and starts living in considerably shittier circumstances. i can see her getting rly fucked and stuck in a limbo, suffering from serious mental health issues, not having a support system, using substances to treat it and her life coming to a screeching halt. shitty jobs that dont last long bc she fails drugs tests or comes in hungover or just straight up forgets to show bc she's so fucked from the weekend. and then it stops being just the weekend. and it's getting hard to keep this up but she doesn't know what she'll do without this and she's so traumatized from what little sex work she did do that she'd rather kill herself than start selling her body for drugs.

this could also happen at college. too much easy access to drugs because she's hot and skinny, its 2010 and why would she need to go to therapy, she's away from her dad finally you really think she wants to talk about how awful he was every week? nah, fuck that. lets party! except she doesnt know what she wants to do when she graduates and her degree's useless and her friends don't really care for her they just like getting fucked and she can't go home and she can't text nicole because they haven't spoken since last summer and beside, nicole's probably dead in a ditch or whoring herself for drugs (she thinks telling herself these things will make her feel better about not keeping the friendship going. it does not.) and eventually her grades get so bad that she's threatened with expulsion and at this point, why is she putting herself in so much debt, its easier to take a leave of absence and get a real job. but drugs are so much more expensive when you're not in college. and she's only ever met a dealer maybe once, when she had friends with her and everything said the guy was cool, and she acted like she didnt care but rly she was scared shitless bc what the fuck what if hes in a GANG what if they forget the money and he KILLS THEM? (shes a white girl from the suburbs. getting drugs from your white middle class friends is way less scary than getting drugs yourself).

wow that got dark fast anyways. thats all for now. like i said i rly like kelly and ari and nicole and jecla and emily and yuri and messy high school y2k drama. and stories that center on female struggle esp for young women who are never taken seriously.

tried reading some fanfics but they were all very... poorly written ig or only seemed to be parodying the original.

if anyone has fic recs ill take em! might end up writing my own who knows

i rly like character studies, not interested in shipping altho i like yuri elements, please no pwp/smut, none of that weird jeffery glorifying shit plz <3

[transzilla]

True I think it is a real phenomena but it is a double edged sword and I don't think it's like people will immediately write you off for presenting masculine. Like it does vary from community to community so we can't really talk about it in like vague oh masculinity this femininity that. I really dislike this conflation between butches and trans males and gnc transfems as OHH MASCS because again it's not like this masculinity club, from group to group it's going to be a new can of worms just based on whatever people have going on. Like some groups might just be more chill with transfems, like maybe they had too many experiences with asshole trans men and they're bitter and take it too far. Still sucks but like everyone has their own reasons.

Like in a lot of discourse it's hard to put your own experiences out there because people are hurting and it's the internet so you can't really put a vulnerable time of your life out there to explain your reasoning because someone might come for u about it and insult the fuck out of u because they disagreed so thats y you see a lot of mascs talking abt "queer communities reject me for being masculine" without specification. Its just easier to use hypotheticals. But then u get people kind of running a little too far with it and its like ok what the hell did he mean by that nd we get other people to validate it and we come up with shit like transmisandry.

In my experience my gender expression as a like oooh hypermasc trans male it was only conditionally accepted by my immediate community. at the first like... mild discomfort i butted heads with someone then the jig was up because it was very easy to use my expression against me and sensationalize the idea that i "look scary" like people jumped to the conclusion that I was in the wrong because it was easier to admit oh well he's toxic he's overly masculine he's making me uncomfortable than to examine a situation closely and to think damn am I in the wrong here. Like if I was feminine they would have just found any other thing to demonize me because I was a transsexual male in the way.

This is a problem I think in these white college-y queer tumblr agoraphobe communities that really stoke the fire of being terrified of everything, which I do support like making yourself comfortable and dealing with your anxiety about men because you will not be making rational decisions if you just endlessly validate your own anxiety and that's a part of the reason why we still deal with so much transphobic crap in lgbt circles, too many ppl seem to be trying to win a race where they have it the worst and there's no way to get better and here's how they're being victimized by all these other people.

I do agree with getting people to be less neurotic about a fear of men, even tho like in very many cases it is correct! Like im not devaluing anyone's trauma, like I get it men are uniquely fucking demonic and we want spaces where it's like ah fuck now I can breathe. But at some point it really does not help with your own survival at all. to extend this to men that YOU allow into your communities, as well as all masculine expression, including what just you consider masculine which is absolutely not the case like.. You end up sounding and being transphobic, butchphobic, transmisogynistic, all that fun stuff.

Plus like some dudes really will just talk out of their ass and I understand the response is going to be just as gauche like haha what do you mean trans men are ALWAYS accepted for being masculine nobody is EVER going to pressure you into being feminine you suck etc. Like i really dont consider it transphobic to say other people have it worse who aren't men because like... yeah they do LMAO i don't envy any of that shit

my personal interest is management and that's really not gona happen if we r still holding onto a masculine/feminine boys vs girls dichotomy cus lije it really is easy to just see how people look and think that's all there is to it. Like what I consider masculine is going to be very different than what another trans male considers masculine and one lil tribe might have a problem with either one of those things. masculinity and femininity isn't real. Like it's easy to look at it like a kindergartener like grr these trans men with feminine expression are being treated better than me, it's because I'm masculine. Like ok that may be the case but you need to examine it more, are they treating you like shit because you're masc or because they are transphobic? Why are people more comfortable with trans men with feminine traits? How do these feminine men act and talk about themselves around these people? Like a lot of the time when that was the case where I felt like a outsider and it was definitely because I presented and acted masculine it wasn't that simple, it was because I worked with conservatives, it was because I had advantages they didnt, it was because they had a token idea of a trans male in their head that I didn't fit, I didn't let people walk all over me and that made them very fucking uncomfortable. Like it was easy to say it's cause I'm masc and in some ways it was true but A strong reaction doesn't mean oppression and if your community can't handle a masc trans male they probably have a myriad of other fucking issues that you don't have to and should not want to deal with. The beauty of that is like construction and finding new ways.

the point of my masculinity and male positivity posts are to underline that masculinity and manhood are seen as a threat or in direct opposition to queerness, and that often times in order to be seen as queer you have to be partially or wholly feminine or gender neutral, or express your manhood in a feminine or gender neutral way in order to no longer be threatening, invasive, or a problem.

it is very difficult to exist in queer spaces as a hyper masculine person & a man. you're made to feel like you need to walk a tight rope feeling like you're inherently out of place, as if you existing and being masculine or a man in queer spaces makes others uncomfortable inherently.. just know that when i make positivity posts it is to remind us all that masculinity/manhood and queerness are not opposites and that you do not have to be a feminine man or masc person to be viewed/seen/heard as queer.

chasing men, masculine people, and masculinity out of queer spaces isn't helping anyone currently and won't help anyone down the line. please accept masc enbies, butches, bears, and masculine trans men with the same kindness, love, and passion that you do neutral and feminine people. that's the point when i make these kinds of posts. thank u

[imaginethathaikyuu]

How did I find your blog? I was looking for soft Kuroo content on google. And your soft birthday hc’s for him came up. And that’s also how I found tumblr

What was the first story of yours that I read? That Kuroo piece ^

Roughly, how long have I been following this blog? Well I found that piece shortly after it was posted so…. Around the beginning of December 2019 I think. Got a tumblr a few months later and you were the first person I followed (had you in my bookmarks bar before that! (still have you in my bookmarks bar and when I share my screen in classes there are occasionally questions. I ignore them))

What’s something I’ve noticed about you personality wise? You’re really clever and funny. But you’re also sweet. But because you’re clever you have no hesitation in setting up and enforcing your boundaries, and I really admire that strength and confidence.

Have we ever interacted, either by PM, ask, or in the comments? What was my perception of you? YES!!! PM, SOOOOO many asks, comments, and you sent me an ask. And reblogged it. And I cried. A lot. My perception: you’re lovely and I want to h*ld your h*nd ….please.

What’s my favorite story of yours? Oh how to choose. Firstly, I’m a nb, biracial, bisexual. Honey, I’ve never made a choice in my life. But let’s try here. Anything you’ve written for Tsukki. Literally all of it is gold. Fight me. I was going to write “especially [piece title]” but I LITERALLY CANNOT CHOOSE ONE. Your Bokuto nightmare piece. Your Kuroo angsty fight. Your Tendou dealing with S/O with parents who yell piece. Your Kinktobers. Your Futakuchi and Mattsun pieces. And your Terushima pieces. Ugh. I CANNOT CHOOSE. OH AND YOUR STREAMER KENMA!!!!!! OKay just… all of it. I can’t choose. I tried, and I failed, and I’m willing to admit failure.

What’s a story I’d love to see you write? I don’t want to say this… because it hurts me… but I just KNOW you’d write brilliant angst. Some of my fav pieces of yours are pained beginnings with happy endings. That fight with Tsukki after a bad day at work. The pieces I mentioned above (nightmare pieces and fighting pieces and angsty home life ha.. ha.ha.ha.). That Oikawa one where the reader wakes up in bed without him and thinks he left. You write these gorgeous atmospheres and descriptive, visceral feelings, and if you chose to use it for evil…. You could get evil shit done. You’re SO powerful. So I want to read it… but also…. I don’t. I’d love to see you write ABO like you mentioned a while back or just see you explore a cutesy soulmate AU or something. I think you’d be really good at writing an AU where you hear what the other person’s listening too. I feel like you’d be so good at making me feel something for someone who was in another city. (think this would be cute with Tsukki cos he’s headphones boy, OR terushima because I like the dynamic of someone flirty, who clearly cares about looks, falling for someone he can’t see) ANYWAY….

Favorite pairing you write for?/fav reader insert? Tsukishima x reader. It’s my fav self-ship. (but also Mattsun, Bokuto, Oikawa, Tanaka, and Akaashi because you write them SO WELL!!!!)

Have any of your stories helped me through a hard time? Of course. Your self-harm piece came at a time I needed it. Iwaizumi’s in particular saved my life. But also your Tendou dealing with S/O parents who fight… came right when I needed it. Also starting college… was hard.. And reading and rereading your fluff really pulled me through it.

Have any of your stories hit closer to home? YES (see above).

Do I genuinely like your blog, it’s aesthetic or posts? It’s overall feel? It’s content? Yes. The aesthetic is, ngl, a wee bit basic. But I kinda love that. And the feel? It feels like home. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Your blog is my safe space. So, yes, I love. It’s content? YES. OF COURSE. Your personality probably could have kept me here even if your content was kinda shit, but I follow you RELIGIOUSLY because of your content. So yes. I adore.

Is English my first language? Kinda??? I grew up in a trilingual household so I kinda learned three languages at the same time while growing up. But no, I don’t need to translate it in my head. Because English was one of the three.

Anything I want to share? Yes. Please keep being kind to yourself, caring for your mental health, enforcing your boundaries, loving Akaashi, and just generally being you. You’re so lovely as you are, and I hope you continue grow, but never change. Also I’m sorry about all your work stuff…. It literally makes me feel sick. And I hope you find a job where that’s not tolerated, or that your work finds a better way of protecting it’s employees. I know you know this, but none of it is your fault. I just hope things improve. AND I love you… a lot. And I’m so proud of you hitting 9K and you deserve so many more followers because your pieces are just... GORGEOUS. I can’t wait until I’m at Barnes and Noble in a few years and I can pick up a hardback copy of your debut novel. I’m so excited to say “I knew Em Akaashi (which is your legal name as far as I’m concerned) before she was so popular among the masses.”

so ive been trying to figure out the correct and worthy way to reply to this ask since the moment i got it......because its so fucking sweet and kind and amazing and pure and perfect and i just dont know how to use WORDS to explain the way it makes me feel so.......i will just reply in bullet points in regards to every question u answered to make it a lil easier :D

- the fact that u found my blog on google ....... like this may be odd and a very specific thing but before i made this blog i always hoped that 1 day my fanfic would pop up in google searches bc thats ALWAYS how i found fics when i was reading them religiously and i felt so much ENVY!!!!! LIKE I WANTED TO BE THERE I WANTED MY FICS TO B POPULAR ENOUGH TO POP UP ON GOOGLE.....that may sound very selfish but its true......so thats just very cool to me... :]

- u’ve been here for so long omg 🥺🥺🥺🥺 if anyone in ur classes ever asks jus promo my blog like its nbd 

- thats so sweet what 🥺🥺🥺 i try my best to advocate for myself and be confident for myself.....ive spent far too much of my time being silently uncomfortable because i was afraid of pushing someone’s buttons seeming rude.....but NO MORE!!!! i know what upsets me, i know my triggers, i know what i dislike experiencing, and im never gonna let myself be anxious or uncomfortable for someone else’s sake, esp if theyre being rude 2 me. i would say its less strength and confidence and moreso me attempting to take control of my anxiety in the places i can (aka on the Internet) bc i am SICK OF ANXIETY ATTACKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

- BBY no dont CRY!!!! im racking my brain trying to think of who u are i wanna know so bad so i can thank u personally for being the kindest person in the world n so i can send u more asks >:(........MY HAND IS URS TO HOLD!!!!! dont tell akaashi tho 

- OMG my TSUKKI pieces.....hes so hard to write why ;-; thank u so much im so glad u enjoy my works<3333

- NOT ANGST NOT LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!! pained beginnings to happy endings are my specialty.....IMAGINE me writing a sad ending like i CANT!!!!!!!!! ive only done it a few times and it is so Difficult.....YALL ARE SO LUCKY IM NOT EVIL!!!!!! ive had this idea for an angsty akaashi fic that i think about and write in my head every night before falling asleep and it Hurts and i wanna write it but i also can’t make myself :D ABO would be very fun but i genuinely do not know how to explore the concept while making it feel like it’s Written By Me.....u know what i mean? same with soulmate aus, i really dislike writing them because theyre just boring to me like they all feel the same everything’s been done for them.....which is FINE!!! but i write enough cliche stuff as it is HAHA, a long distance type soulmate au could be fun and interesting but ldr’s trigger me bc of a past relationship so </3 but hey maybe someone else could use the idea!!!!!

- gotta love tsukishima <3

- im rlly glad my writing could be there for you friend, one of the biggest reasons i write fanfic (and write the kind of fics i write) is bc i know firsthand how much reading sweet stories abt ur comfort characters can help u through the shittiest times - i just wanna offer ppl some support and happy feelings and love cuz sometimes fanfic is the only time we can find those things (and theres nothing shameful abt that either if anyone bullies u for reading fanfic i will fight them)

- I KNOW MY LAYOUT IS LAZY AND BASIC AS FUCK AND THAT IS BECAUSE I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT LMAOOOO so im glad u think its ok...... like i dont have the patience to create a fancy ass layout that actually works are u KIDDING ME??????? I COULD LITERALLY NEVER plus i kinda like that its just the basic kinda ugly boring default layout like it makes it simple and easy and i feel like it brings focus to the only thing on this blog that i care about which is my writing, i rlly only care about the content here and not aesthetics jdbljdabsdk that blue background will be there til i Die......i adore u more btw 

- WHOA trilingual what the hell ur so cool tell me more 

- you have my word, friend, that i will continue to do all of that so long as you do the same. take care of yourself, be kind to yourself - i know u can do it, ur so kind to others and u deserve to be kind to urself, too so this is the part that genuinely brought me to tears because *sappy dumb shit ahead* ok look ever since i can remember the one and only thing ive wanted to do with my life is become an author ...... dreams of book covers with my name written on them and words in pages written by me and fanart of my characters and going into my local bookstore n seeing my book there....these thoughts all haunt my fucking brain because i want it SO BAD!!!!!!!! so bad that it makes me CRY!!!!!!!! ive never wanted something more and just!!!!!!!!!!!! idk how much u meant that part but holy fuck!!!!!! i hope so bad that one day i can send u a free copy of my book as a thank u for being the person u are. u have all my love friend, every last bit of it <333333333

[seijch]

bitches make one post about suna in the smoke grays and suddenly it turns into a full round of headcanons...

content warning. drug use (vaping)

TERUSHIMA: man i swear do NOT put this man on the aux!!!!!! some ppl do not believe in paying for a streaming service and i hate to break it to you but yuuji is one of them,,, Want A Break From The Ads? If You Tap Now To Watch A Short Video, You’ll Receive Thirty Minutes Of Ad Free Music type beat... its not even worth it at this point 🤮🤮🤮 his pre-work fits always go hard. shops exclusively on stockx and buys apparel from the store if he fucks w it (and when it goes on sale ... original retail price kinda expensive tho). surprisingly good w the elderly? no one expects it from him but he ALWAYS gets compliments from them and no one else ever wants to deal w the crabby old people so they send him in for a quick and easy sale 🤝🏻

SUNA: ALWAYS vaping in the back. if youre near him in the stockroom hell blow the smoke in your face. punch him. do it. this is the aisle where there are no cameras. BIG sneakerhead but doesnt like to answer questions nskdfsd you could b asking him if a shoe is good for running nd he hits you w that “idk i just work here” and WALKS AWAY. like i KNOW you work here bitch thats the fucking point!!!! his shoe game is always on point so he always gets questions since people think he knows what hes talking abt (he does,, But 😐😐😐)

SHIRABU: at the register. designated cashier, only here because tuition does NOT pay itself... air max supremacist; owns three pairs of air max 270s in the most BASIC colorways 😐 judges customers when they walk in. if he sees someone trying to fake flex he WILL gag. once saw a man and his son with the toyota logo hanging from their matching gold chains and hasnt recovered since.

KOGANEGAWA: gets LOST in the stockroom and is always 🧍‍♂️ when he does. compliments the scent of whatever flavor puff bar suna blows into his face. isnt in the work gc when he first gets hired bc he has an android NJKSDSA but eventually upgrades and is welcomed in (but overuses animojis unironically.....baby please youre embarrassing us). absolute king. one of the best sellers on the floor during back to school season; the mans a high-five machine!! the kids love him. (as they should!)

ATSUMU: gets confused for yuuji from behind a LOT and bitch if this doesnt PISS HIM OFF!!!!!!! youd rlly think that having another person out there w the same exact face as you would train you to handle this shit better but guess not bc tsumu gets SO mad he stomps off to the back and has to 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️ for a bit..... osamu works at the food place two doors down and tells all the cashiers to make him pay full price, fuck a mall discount SDJAKDA there are too many pictures on his ig story of him and suna (reluctantly taken by aran) holding shoes to their ears like theyre the latest iphone. someone stop them before i reach thru the screen and shit in their shoes.

KINDAICHI: originally started working just to make money and knew NOTHING about shoes but bitch did he get INTO IT!!!! yeezy or bust, baby!!!!!! his go to work shoes are the tail lights but he also owns the desert sages (among others). his bank acc is NOT HAPPY,,, homie spends more money than he makes at his shitty minimum wage job 😭 once he learned the Shoe Lore he rlly came into his own as a solid seller but i would not be lying if i said before then he was on stock duty ....

ARAN: mvp of the store!!! gets along w the kids, gets along w the older folks, can hold a conversation w the sneakerheads, you name it hes got it !!!!!! on track to become an assistant manager if he so chooses -- the manager is alr begging him to come on full time but he doesnt wanna tie himself down to a life of selling shoes, yk? has people coming to the store just to see HIM like its a fucking host club. admittedly not as into shoes as someone like suna or tanaka,, definitely knows how to appreciate a Good Shoe but is halfway between a casual and a Full Sneakerhead tbh...

TANAKA: you wouldnt believe it but he is the KING of shoecare, both in usage and in sales! doesnt care as much when it comes to his regular old volleyball asics but when hes at work or out on the town? the flex is honestly UNREAL...catch him slacking, i dare you. shits on anyone who buys a team jordan like ,,, ok gatekeeper! his collection of retro jordans reaches almost concerning levels and refuses to sell any of them. he hasnt worn a good third of them, either (hes waiting for That Moment, whatever the fuck THAT means). only slightly above terushima when it comes to aux privileges. (theres also a video of him in the stockroom wearing nothing but booty shorts at the top of a ladder lipsyncing the lyrics to chandelier by sia. dont ask.)

BOKUTO: THE customer service guy. he spends small amounts of money like nobodys business but is lowkey scared of big purchases... drops $15 for food eight times a week like its nothing but wont buy a pair of $180 shoes... ok. as a result his collection is nowhere near as big as some of the other guys but he treasures them all and takes very good care of them!!! knows JUST what to say to warm any kind of customer up to him (gets hit on a lot, much to the dismay of tanaka nd yuuji)... also has a lot of former customers recognize him (its the hair) and he just has to go 😃 haha hey! every time.

NISHINOYA: whenever he cant reach smth and needs to be out on the floor asap he can and WILL climb up the shelves of the stockroom like a fucking MONKEY NKSFSN 😭😭😭 the authority when it comes to shoes for running, hiking, the gym, etc. if its outdoors leave it to him! had a pair of 270s but the bubble POPPED the one time he used the ladders as he came down..........hes literally traumatized and ALWAYS brings it up whenever he shares a shift w shirabu (who has since asked to not be scheduled w noya due to a “difference in beliefs” MSFSDS)

FUTAKUCHI: ive said it before but hes one of Those People thats worked half the stores in the damn mall so he was hired as a cashier during the holiday szn and left the company a few months later. youd think hed get along w fellow cashier shirabu but 😃 the manager avoids scheduling them together unless the stores gonna be busy bc one of them is gonna wanna use “the better register” and get mad when the other claims it first .... like theyre both FUNCTIONAL arent they??? 😭😭 does NOT give a shit abt shoes!!! never even learned the stockroom, just kinda figured it out as he went along...whenever someone asks him for their size in a shoe he hands it off to someone on the floor unless he cant avoid it (but believe it or not he will always give that person the sale...unless its suna bc he knows suna doesnt give a fuck)

@wackatoshi​ jic you dont see it when it drops 😚😚

[azenta]

ur really good at articulating the sx experience lol..i wanted ur thots on the sx energy burning out. if an sx user sx-ed with a thing that no longer gave them that charge they would immediately drop it nd look for something else...but how does that apply to ppl nd relationships? granted sx-users have no intention of thinking about when the charge dies out (like sx-blinds)but when it does what do they do? drop them? or do they have a convo about why they want to leave nd proceed to do so? thanky

They can do either: drop or talk it out. Because that kind of issue is more related to healthiness and maturity than the sheer IVs themselves.

Unhealthy Response

When unhealthy and/or immature, they can drop you because the spark isn't intense "enough", according to their also unhealthy perspective, or dies out "too easily", or even because it's "too hard" to maintain and it feels easier to jump to one flame to another. They can also do the opposite and rather latch onto you because it was "too good" and so keep you for very selfish reasons, revealing in them a really possessive, jealous and manipulative little bitch that do everything to keep you around and try to spark things up to the point of burning and crashing to inevitable destruction (more likely Sx dom). 

This is mainly because when unhealthy, the auxiliary tends to be either ignored as there is a distorted perception that the dominant is never satiated enough, and this leads to perceive the auxiliary as a waste of time (level 7 to 9 of health). Or the auxiliary is recognized as a tool, but used poorly at the cost of the auxiliary need itself (level 5 to 6~7). 

For unhealthy Sx/sp, it leads them to see maintenance/preservation of relationships as either too harsh to do or pointless, leading to drop and abandon relationships willingly, or they view this maintenance as so !!!IMPORTANT!!! they refuse to let the flame dies out and goes overboard to maintain the given relationship to a point it intoxicates it and ends up killing it anyway. They destroy themselves in the process, ironically.

For unhealthy Sx/so, they see bonding, reciprocation and the feeling of belonging with the given person not as important either, leading to superficial empty relationships (same for Sx/sp denying sp) and abandoning or ignoring every relationship that doesn't provide this intensity. Or they jump within every single relationships relentlessly and ignites all of them without consideration to how the other feel in it, leading to consume and burn to ashes every single one of them even before anything could happen or destroying any foundation they had. They impose their Sx in every Soc relations, rather than use Soc to seek the ones that can give Sx.

For unhealthy So/sx, they'll tune out Sx as it will be seen as nuisible (complementarity, affinities, energy/intensity), so even if the spark was still there, they'll ignore or neglect it to not restrain their Soc, or they'll start doing something slightly similar to Sx/so and start igniting every relationships crossing their way, also leading to their inevitable destruction. The difference is So/sx use Sx "fire" as a way to light up their soc relationships, to make them "stronger/spicier", while Sx/so use Soc to provide more and more fuel to Sx (as a metaphor, soc becomes the woods to make the fire that is Sx bigger).

And for unhealthy Sp/sx, as above, they'll ignore it as it will be seen as a threat to Sp, or they'll start to ignite their relationships to "test" how tough they are, leading also to destruction because they'll make it burn until it cannot anymore, so until it is turns to ashes, "confirming" it wasn't that lasting (sp concern) anyway.

Healthy Response

Now, when healthy, they can still decide to drop it, because some relationships aren't worth pursuing if it actually lacks this much Sx quality to them, or talk it out, share their expectations and needs, and find compromise or ways to make it last healthily.

Healthy Sx/sp recognize Sp as its own set of needs, and therefore also incorporates the notion that they can maintain the level of intensity (energy) in their relationship without constantly pushing for intensity (transformation). They know there are boundaries and limits to be taken into account, and that demanding "more, more and more" actually leads to the loss and destruction of the relationship, because it breaks and over push those limits. Instead of transforming they just crash. They'll realize the reason why they never were satiated is because destruction without renewal doesnt lead to the transformation (mate/merge) Sx actually seeks, thus why they kept seeking for more.

Therefore, healthy Sx/sp will not drop relationships if they see the energy lowering, and might actually retreat from it more so to let time for both party to care for themselves and come back when they'll have enough resources to light up the fire again (/to merge, mate, get that enlightening moment, which demands lot of energy and synergy). Or another cute metaphor for it, they'll go seek woods in the forest, which requires a certain amount of it and so, also some time, in order to make a fire again. So, they'll go wander in their forest.

Healthy Sx/sp learned to recognize that a relationship is built with two individuals with different needs and aspirations, thus needing to do different things at different times, and so that it needs to be considered to keep the energy flowing. It demands energy to transform through one another, this is why they learn to respect Sp as a way to prepare for those times and moments to be able to "burn" bright (/vibe/flow/transform/"mate") with their people again. To take back the metaphor, they recognized some might be faster to gain wood, some in greater quantity, other in lesser quantity in less amount of time, due to a variety of reasons, ranging from "physical" limitations to different motivations (one wanting more wood, the other less) or even contextual ones (encountering wild animals, not finding wood, etc.). And some don't care about "wood" itself and have other methods (see Sp blinds). Therefore, they stop using Sp as a way to possess and leech people of their energy, as the resource itself, they rather place boundaries between them and their chosens instead of trapping their people within them.

They might also decide to cut out some people if they deem that the synergy is rather too destructive and so, doesn't lead to transformation but rather destruction, or that it just doesnt bring anything transformative. So it is too dull and doesnt bring anything out from each other, it is too stagnant and the energy barely moves and flows. There is absolutely nothing good about keeping a stagnant relationship. They will talk it out if they are worried about the synergy dying for good, and that's where they'll resort to Sp to help Sx gains some fuel and so are likely to retreat to do their activities, and to let you do yours, and "come back" after some times of resourcing. 

Also, when they retreat, since they neglect Soc, they neglect to reciprocate and bond with people on a more lightly and regular basis, thus why they vanish for periods of time or are barely talkative or even deny any talking. But worry not, they just established boundaries they deem necessary to preserve synergy. Or if you are worried and are a soc user, directly ask them rather than make scenarios about it. Tho, when Sx/sp get healthier, they usually allow some place for basic Soc and can show some reciprocation and do some talking instead of becoming extreme shut in when in Sp mode. So, you have even more reasons to ask them some news.

Healthy Sx/so will rather learn that one person or people in general cannot always prodigue you with intensity even if they want to, thus why it matters to reach other people and create new connections. They'll learn that to enhance the intensity and make it last, bonding and reciprocating actually help and temper the flame to make it bearable all while still being intense and transforming. They'll also recognize that belonging into groups or networks help them achieve better transformation and "mating" (/merging) and that creating many connections doesn't lower the intensity they invest in some of them, but rather help balance them out. Again, with the forest metaphor, they'll turn themselves to many (groups or many unrelated people) instead of one individual at a time to gain the resources to enlight Sx faster. Or they'll light up many fire at a time to be sure to always have a flame somewhere burning. As a group or alliances, the solidarity (thx to soc) is what keeps feeding the fire more than the wood itself (Sp) for sx/so.

They'll also learn to distinguish actual transformation from destruction like healthy Sx/sp, and so will be more aware that to gain Sx they dont need "more" of it but rather need something that helps them feed it and renew it (bigger flame vs feeding and caring for the flame). So, they'll also stop using soc as an escape route the moment Sx lowers in one of their connection and use it as a way to care for Sx (running away and burning other's wood (boundaries) just to gain a flame then leaving when it dies) .

Contrary to Sx/sp, they won't retreat to let the "flame" rest but rather engage other people while the chosens are resting or doing their life, as illustrated in the metaphor above. They'll also take news and interact now and then anyways to see where the person's at and how the energy feels as of now, as a mean to give some fuel but without engaging full Sx if it still feels unstable (not enough wood /energy). Where they'll have more trouble is actually the maintenance (vs consistence for Sx/sp). Since they don't value Sp (even tho, i'll argue the healthier they are, the more they recognize value to Sp), they can tend to disappear similarly to Sx/sp and then burst out of nowhere and chitchat like you never did before to then get lost in many other connections for a while. They'll be much more volatile if Sx is not that much present to a point of feeling distant or disappearing out of the blue for unknown period of times. On that Sx/sp can be more stable when they actually come back to you, but both Sx/so and Sx/sp can become wandering ghosts since lacking in either Soc or Sp makes them unreliable with the consistency and maintenance aspect of relationships. Metaphor again; Sx/sp will wander in the forest for the longest and be willing to discuss only until they can light up the fire, while Sx/so will run around from fire to fire to take part of those fire and bring it back to you, until there is enough fuel (usually "wood" aka energy) to light it up more intensely. They'll be more often present (frequency) through in and out than Sx/sp, but also stay for shorter periods (duration), while Sx/sp stay longer but come more rarely.

So, like healthy Sx/sp, they might try to talk it out if they get worried, but will wander in other connections or choose Soc methods such as casual bonding with you if they perceive the flame is either dying or becoming too destructive, as a mean to temper the flame. They can end up cutting people out for the same reasons as healthy Sx/sp if they judge it lacks any transformative component or it is too destructive.

Healthy So/sx will learn to recognize the value of Sx as its own needs, and that having many connections can be great, but can also be awful if there is no synergy and transformative component into their relationships. They'll learn that fewer but stronger connections is better than many shallow ones, and that it doesn't restrain them from pursuing new connections but rather help them weed out the "unworthy" ones. Metaphor time: they'll recognize that having a goal (creating a fire) helps bringing more solid solidarity and create the sense of belonging. Fire reunites and make people work for the greater good.

Again, healthy So/sx will also discern destruction from actual transformation and will thus not ignite relationships that are naturally devoided of them because of their nature (ex. professional networking, it could help but it is unecessary). They'll recognize the need to choose them more carefully and be able to strengthen their connections more properly. Again, metaphor, instead of burning each pile of woods just because they believe it is what everyone need, they'll seek people that actually are ready (enough wood) and want to ignite a fire (that have the actual goal to create a fire, instead of building a house with it like some would prefer). 

Therefore, when healthy, So/sx are not likely to drop an Sx connection. However, they will not prioritize them over the Soc aspect of it, so if you are exclusively an Sx connection, you might be put aside more often. However, it doesn't mean it's because they don't appreciate you nor doesn't care, but rather that 1. They prioritize other ways of connecting that respond to another need than Sx, and it's absent with you. 2. Sx is on and off and demand a highly specific synergy/synchronicity to gain energy as much as it spends it, thus why they will also go on and off with you (small fire that barely warm you up vs moderate fire that warm you up). And like Sx dom, they can also decide to cut off the connection if the synergy is toxic or too absent, especially if it becomes nuisible to their Soc need as well. Since they're healthy, usually it means they'll communicate it and won't let you guess the relationship is dead, if it was an important relationship for both of you. So/sx can also communicate their worry about the "flame" dying, but contrary to Sx dom, it's a first "alarm" signal to tell the Soc established is about to be jeopardized as well. Since for Sx dom, if the flame dies (doesnt light up anymore despite "the wood" or the support), then the connection is dead to them for sure, while for So/sx, if Soc is still well established, Sx can be dead for a while it won't matter as much, even tho it has importance (as it maintains stronger "alliances" /and friendships).

Finally, So/sx will also have trouble to maintain and preserve their interactions like Sx/so, so they can be more likely to change circle often or prioritize newer connections over their established one. Since they are Soc dom, it's even more typical of them to be social butterflies and loosing touch with the already established, long to date relationships (they value groups, alliance or friendships that have already fire to offer, and not the wood itself). Sx aux usually is the one helping to maintain or make them last longer, until they are mature enough to let Sp be a small part of their priority too. The fire gives a reason to have wood (Sp) to cater for.

Healthy Sp/sx will come to understand Sx actually helps them better preserve themselves, because Sp alone becomes pretty stagnant, and stagnation usually means things (yourself and your life) go no where. And this doesn't help to preserve in the long run. It's like rotting from the inside. They learn that they need some flow of energy too, and therefore allow for Sx connections. Metaphor: Having a small built up place is sure great but with no fire to keep you warm, it leads to cold which can ironically lead you to be unable to cater for more woods. Cold means your body won't be optimal and suffer in its capacity to actually preserve itself. Your body need warmth. So fire helps maintaining you and actually help you produce more.

Again, they also learn to distinguish pure destruction from transformation. They'll distinguish igniting something/someone and burning it until it can no longer do because it is turned to ashes (so, destroyed and ruined) versus lighting something/someone while considering its capacity to better maintain it and still gain an interesting intensity from it. Simply put, learning to take care of a relationship (or hobby) all while knowing how to spark it and keep the spark. Again with the metaphor; they'll understand that lighting every single resources they see just to get some temporary warmth to continue their things is not as Sp neither as Sx as taking the time to dedicate a set up for a fire or an actual place (like a small cabin or housing) that can contain it and make its warmth bigger and last longer. 

Therefore, healhty Sp/sx are less likely to drop relationships when the spark dies, even less likely than Sx doms. They can do without for a while like So/sx, but they also recognize that it is important, so they'll do their possible to spark it up. They'll give it up if they see it is destructive or if it stagnates (which is another form of destruction) and doesn't serve anyone in the relationship as this also jeopardizes Sp.

However, healthy Sp/sx are still the least likely to drop for good a relationship because of Sp dominance, all while being the least likely to actually reach out and form one. Since they are soc blind, they dont see the point to reach for the sake of it. Metaphor: they don't see the point of living in a village when they can make up their own house in the wood directly, near water and all the shit you need, especially since they know how to do all that stuff themselves. They come to understand the importance of getting things or even some few people that ignite fire as it makes things easier, but still, they don't see the point of more when few do the job very well. This is why losing those few relationships is hard on them and why they dont see the point of reaching for more either. In fact, they'll often let their few relationships do the soc job for them, and so go into those villages and bring the necessary when needed. They sometimes do it themselves, but not for long since they don't care about it, until they are healthy enough to recognize it actually makes things even more easier for their Sp and Sx concerns. 

Also, a little note for Sx blinds; reminder they also have Sx, because blind spot =/= not having the said instinct, and so they will have those "transforming/enlightening/flowing mergy" moments too, they just don't seek them nor deem them as important as soc and sp. In other words, with my sweet, sweet Ni metaphor; they value more building a house, even villages with woods and other resources, with the aid of communal (reciprocation, belonging, etc.) effort, than catering for fire itself. 

That's it. Sx blinds are not empty shell devoided of energy and fuel, they are FULL of it, they just dont see the point in pursuing it for its own sake (METAPHOR: the fire comes naturally from the effort of the number and the establishment of houses and villages = fire itself is not as important, and it is required in less intensity to do the job, even if it still helps out).

I'm pretty sure i answered beyond what you asked, but i hope you managed to find your answer in all that text lmao

[tfw-no-tennis]

mtmte liveblog issue 36

time travel arccccccccccccc yessssssssss

I have been waiting SO LONG to reread this arc hhhhh yessss

starting off strong with the sexy roller cover. nice

I love the disconnect of ‘orion pax: outlaw’ compared to the last time we saw him in shadowplay where he was orion pax: supercop

he’s still punching people for JUSTICE or whatever so I guess not much has changed

oh my god this is the issue with the many many two-page spreads...the first time I read this issue I didn't realize that was a thing and GOD I was SO fucking confused. there's already a lot going on in this issue/arc but this made things so much worse hvbhjkdfbsk. I powered thru and still managed to understand most of the arc despite reading half this issue out of order (essentially) bc the website I read it on split the pages up and I couldn't tell they were supposed to be doubled (and also I'm dumb so I didn't figure it out)

anyways, the actual issue...windcharger is out here using his powers to rip a dudes arms clean off. wow!

and there's skids getting punched in the face. Ls

and glitch! a totally minor character of course...

MANNNNN I SO adore the panel of all the lost lighters appearing in a cloud of purple smoke, all posing epically....SO fucking good, peak sci-fi coolness vibes, A++

as usual jro killing it w/the titles, ‘elegant chaos’ is such a great name for a time travel arc

also reading the tfwiki has shown me that many of jros titles are song or album titles, to which I say - that's epic and I love it. with jro doing it, I feel like it straddles the line between referencing music and the very fanfic-esque ‘title things after music’ vibe. I love it

oh god I forgot they use bs cybertronian time units in this sometimes lmao...I mean of course they do but still like, what the fuck is a cycle. is that a day. I feel like these words all have no meaning/the meanings change drastically depending on continuity. I cant keep up and also I'm lazy and don't care enough to try

I love rodimus did u know

poor riptide looks so confused lmao

IS....IS REWIND PIGGYBACKING TAILGATE...THATS SO FUCKING CUTE....I cant fully tell bc of the page layout but ooomg so precious. minibot buddies

whirl saying ‘chuff’ just reminded me how british jro is hvbhakjhdsfbs sometimes it just Jumps Out in mtmte and I'm like Oh God Britain Is Real

I really like the mtmte approach to time travel and paradoxes and whatnot. its just complex enough to be interesting but not too convoluted that it bogs down the story. perfect sci-fi fun!

mannnn chromedome talking abt brainstorm :( I'm sad abt those two hhhhh

and I love how at this point, nobody in the cast ACTUALLY knows brainstorm well enough to know what he’s really doing - including chromedome, who’s ostensibly his closest friend, somebody he’s known for a while - and even the readers don't really know what he’s up to...I like the mystery tbh

cant believe rewind wrote orion pax’s biography, omg. completely forgot abt that detail

cd saying ‘I love it when he talks history’ about rewind....hhhh I love cdrw so muuuuch

godddd the line rodimus says abt whirl - how they need people like whirl around who are ‘happy to get in the way’ of danger and death - that shit haunts me man like...rodimus is basically saying that he’s bringing whirl along to potentially die in place of someone like orion pax (nevermind the fact that whirl dying would ALSO fuck up the timeline)...like, how deep does it go?? is he saying that bc he knows whirl has been trying to get himself killed for a while now, or just bc whirl likes violence? mannn I cant...the character intricacies...man

anyways...I love rodimus he’s such an interesting character. you have that fucked up moment and then in the next panel he’s saying ‘if you want to call it a time phone, I wont stop you’ about the quantum walkie-talkie. he has the RANGE

oh and then rodimus casually volunteering chromedome to do mnemosurgery on anyone who might accidentally find out about them time traveling, which is again fucked up on multiple levels. the raaaaange

vjaksbhdhfusajbfdjk that panel of the lost light squad just standing there like idiots reminds me of that post where someone said abt that panel ‘these characters have a collective 3 brain cells’ or something hvbjadkfnksfdl

rodimus IMMEDIATELY breaking his own rules by trying to reassure pax that they're good guys by pointing at his autobot badge, even tho the autobots DONT EVEN EXIST YET at this point...my boy PLEASE go purchase some brain cells from the store 

and the fact that rodimus introduced himself to pax w/his real name...shouldn't he go by an alias or st??? that seems like a good time travel rule since optimus and rodimus definitely know each other later 

and like, did they not anticipate that some of the people in the past would recognize some of the lost lighters hgbajkhdjfnjksf like cd and whirl get Instantly recognized...great job guys

they are all SO bad at this hvbahskjdhfbasjkf I cantttt luckily for them the orion crew is handing them easy alibis 

‘the dugout’ is that a baseball reference????

also I love the scenery here, the bg looks like rock but there's metal piping and stuff running thru it, its so cool...really adds to the whole ‘cybertron biomes are made of metal’ thing

‘ancient history’ rodimus are you KIDDING ME-

cyclonus time travels to the past and IMMEDIATELY finds a window to stare broodingly out of. icon

tailgate thinking orion pax is SUPER COOL continues here from shadowplay and I love it...tailgate is so cute

and the tg saying ‘don't you think that's awesome, cyclonus?’ hhhhh so cute

one reason I love this arc so much is that this is the arc where the gay Really amps up 

TRAILBREAKER.... oh man ;_;

are you telling me that this outlaw base they're in has ONE bed for all of these people. what the hell vhbaksjhfnsal

cant believe rung sampled roller’s steroid juice box

also cant believe robot steroids exist. except yes I can and I love it

oooh roller’s a 0/1%er? I forgot abt that 

cant believe orion pax just grabs some random phone that belongs to these weird new people and answers it. WHO does that

goddddd megatron and orion’s conversation....destroy me

HHHHHH like...the HISTORY....the regret...the missed opportunities...its all so palpable....goddddddd

and of COURSE, the whole thing is steeped in tragedy...the ideological differences that will become the foundation for a 4 million year long war...megatron, who believes that you need to burn things down and start again to really make change stick, and then orion, who says ‘reform is the answer, not revolution’....AUGHHH the intricacies. mannnn

‘you sound lost’ 😭😭😭

‘its tragic.’ yeah, that about sums up their relationship, especially at this stage and in this continuity 

anyways. [cries about old man megatron talking to young naïve orion pax] goodbye

AUGHHH and then we jump to rodimus ONCE AGAIN breaking his own rules and trying to save trailbreaker...IT HURTS MAN...god I love rodimus, I feel like him being broken up about crewmembers like trailbreaker dying is one part regular sadness over people he knows dying for tragic reasons, and one part personal guilt at someone under his command dying, even if he’s not involved/at fault. I love the dichotomy of this emotional reaction that comes only partially from empathy/emotion, but also comes from a kinda self-centered need for success as measured by people under your command staying alive. and taking into account rodimus’s life it totally makes sense that he’d act like that...GAH I love it. the complexity of it all!

orion pax saying ‘you should read [megatron]. it’s powerful stuff’ I'm screaming, so many LAYERSSSSS

I fucking love time travel AHHHHHHHHH like the opportunity for interactions like these....chefs kiss

‘hey, best friend! miss you!’ rodimus is such a shit hvbdajkfksjhfd 

‘very sus’ rodimus ahead of his time w/the among us lingo

oooh and then they realize that the senate is trying to kill the sparks...gotta save the babies!

tailgate scolding cyclonus for bluntly stating that you'd wanna be subtle when killing newborns...hhhvbhsdfhhhhhh I love them sm

ooooh and rewind has an interesting suggestion - that the senate is actually trying to irradiate the sparks into being outliers...rewind is so smart I love him

and the fact that he’s using history from his database...love it

rodimus sending cyclonus and whirl out like pokemon

ROLLER NOOOO DONT GO OUT THERE

also wow this is literally the 5th (I think) double page spread in this issue...the confusion I felt the first time I read this...lmao 

and now this is literally one of my favorite issues so I'm glad I know what's going on lmao

oh man rodimus telling cd not to erase trailbreakers memory even tho that could jeopardize the entire timeline... :( 

oh man I didn't even notice but roller getting debris blasted into his face like that makes the whole ‘roller is tarn’ theory even more legit considering tarn’s face scars....

‘tighter the better’ hhh don't say that orion. but also, that’s the companion phrase to megatron saying ‘the deeper the better’ hvbhasjkhdfbaksjlf

I do love the semi-campy action hero antics that orion pax gets up to. its just so fun, even when the stakes are high and things are serious

‘this is the greatest thing I have ever seen’ tg ily

THE REVEAL THAT THE SPARKS WENT TO NYON...so rodimus just saved himself, basically...time travel is so trippy

GODDDD ND THEN TRAILBREAKER...HVHHHHHh 😭😭😭 THATS SO CRUEL MAN

oh man that last panel of trailbreaker holding up roller’s juice box...iirc the first time I read this I thought that was roller (cause of the juice box I guess? idk I'm an idiot) so I was like oh ok he must've come back or something. very much related but I didn't really think about tarn being a particular pre-established character and totally didn't read the whole ‘roller is tarn’ thing that was going on 

which in my defense ruth also didn't pick up on any of that while reading this and eventually like 2 issues before the reveal I had to prompt her like ‘you should maybe be wondering WHO tarn is’ vhbahjksdfbaksjdf

so! issue 37! this issue is a solid favorite of mine, id say definitely top 5 or even 3. I'm super biased bc I fucking LOVE time travel, it’s seriously one of my favorite tropes ever, and this issue hits all the time travel beats I love. characters traveling to the past and interacting with people they know! conversations that have multiple meanings bc of TIME TRAVEL! trying to save someone who meets a terrible fate in your future! fun time travel action! the time traveling characters being generally terrible at hiding the fact that they're time travelers! ITS SO GOOD. 

and I love the clever way everything is tied together here - where we get a nice continuation of shadowplay, with this taking place shortly after that with a lot of the same cast, and time travel classics like the good ole ‘if we hadn't travelled back in time and done what we did, the future we came from wouldn't have existed at all,’ in the flavor of ‘rodimus saving his baby self’ and ‘rodimus NOT saving trailbreaker’ and ‘everyone forgot about roller :(’ 

ok but like, did the lost lighters just go ‘oh well, guess rollers gone now.’ like they DID realize that the outlaw crew would have no idea what happened to him if they got their memories erased, right?? did the lost lighters figure that since roller never reappeared after this time period, that was how history was ‘supposed’ to go and they shouldn't mess with it? am I overthinking it? as usual: yes, probably. I love overthinking about comics, in case that wasn't obvious

basically...I love this issue soooo much. so so good and a bunch of fun tropes that I love. I mean the whole arc is like that for me since I love time travel so much. so I cant wait to (re)read more!!

[startwithbrooklyn]

THE GREAT ND REWATCH OF 2021 / SEPTEMBER 30, 2019 // larkspur lane/the whisper box

this post is a double whammy cause they have 2 eps happen in the same day if u can believe it (thats how awful judging timelines in this show is!!)

-"hi josh..." LMAOOOOOOO

-BESS just breaking in lmaooo how many god damn times does bess just shit the bed in this show

-LOVE her frowny face at nancys closet ("my expectations are low" lmfaoooo but this would totally be me)

-"bet she meant it metaphorically" okayyy but then why did lucy say that at all? i feel like theres defo more to this story, combined with josh's cagey behavior (part of which is to get nancy to stop looking into shit d/t him and karen but still)

-"they dont accept visitors unless they're family" .....🙂

-ace "youre really good at that" to bess i fuckin love this friendship with all my heart (also love their talk at the claw mirroring nick & nancys talk in the last ep)

-also PINK AND ORANGE BESS ARE U BLIND (also 1) why tf would nancy own this and 2) where would she wear it??)

-okay wtf is vampire dip

-"boss??" see this is what i meant yesterday about nancy ruining everything for nick/george

-god DAMN she sucks at dealing with this news lmaooo that emotional competency babey + love george literally agrees to help bc she feels bad (AND nicks immediate look of "you just reprimanded me for helping her last ep and i know why youre doing this rn" lmaoooo)

-LOVE george noticing nick "shout out to jean valjean" lmaooo once again nancy would never have noticed/commented on something like that

-"get the hell out of here" was this foreshadowing for an epic dad joke for these two eps? "how do you make holy water? you boil the hell out of it" 😂😂😂😂

-so what i dont get about the whole haunting is the ball + kids' laughter but its all the emphasis on "mr roper" the adult? wtf like what kind of entity is this

-"how did you ever have a solo career??" 😂

-okay amaya's hair is gorgeous here (also "you feel like a snack" ....👀) *ahhh so the reason bess feels so off balance is bc its like a top vs a top scenario

-has anyone who's ever been to prison confirmed this is what it looks like?

-love how ace is the only employee there when they all leave so he had to fucking close the place when he goes

-why does she take the whole file? time constraints? it'd be smarter to take pics + replace it (better sleuthing) but this place is clearly not well run anyway 😂

-so this is a pretty decent cover she invents but theres no way she would get away with it so easily for a real guard

-love how ace recognizes ryan's car (+ is able to find it by driving around)

-"my father wouldnt do anything like that" LMFAOOOOOO SIS WHY ARE U DEFENDING HIM ironically, ace is actually the best person suited to engage w ryan here d/t the car accident + connection with laura being ryans SIL. its a unique set up

-i am fascinated by the concept of priests + holy water being so effective here combined with mcginnis' beliefs and basically nondenominational ghosts/seances etc after that. the show is very clearly big on diversity but definitely steers clear from too much WASP stuff yk? wonder if other stuff from christianity works against the ghosts/demons like taking refuge in a church "holy ground" or using silver etc

-"did this start after the night of sept 10?" *this is where you get the time line for the seance if you didnt know

-this is so fucking funny when u realize that patient sal talks to is actually a ghost so sal really is psycho i guess 😂

-bitchsplain/tall jar of mayonnaise 🙏🏻😌 2gether 4ever

-how did ace get this van? also heart attack when he yells at carson (but then grins at him like a goofball lmaooo)

-"for nancys sake and yours" damn she owes ace big time for all this shit

-"what do we do for 7 minutes?" ...ummm play 7 minutes in heaven lmaooo 👀🥵

-was not expecting ace to look this sexy holding an axe but okay (*ah, its his short sleeve shirt showing his arms. usually hes a sleeves guy)

-"desperate for attention" nancy (from gomber) vs "bc she's starved for attention" patrice --> lucy (and candace also...) we know nancys detective work makes her seem like an attention seeker, but what was lucy doing to make them all think that? she was trying to hide her relationship with ryan, not expose it. unless they just mean the rumors about her?

-so is patrice hiding lucy's "truth" talking about lucy being a whore or lucy being a ghost? what is lucy's secret? did patrice guess she was pregnant or did patrice's somehow garbled mind remember tiffany trying to show patrice the video with lucy on it?

-wonder what captain thom thinks of this stand off w ace lmaooo

-"like you do?" top v top shenanigans

-how awko for carson to talk to karen again like this

-"oh no" ACE 😂

-love how amaya says "be a human" like shes kind of admitting people in rich circles typically arent (^this is an interesting focus in s2 when bess's rich family rejects her, thus making her human again, but nancy embraces her rich fam and experiences subsequent moral struggle which is predicted with the wraith)

-wonder what ryan thinks he could get from the marvins (which he cant get now lmaooo)

-this damn whisper box. so many questions. who named it the whisper box? why are the ropers' old possessions still there? who decided to build a mental hospital on top of it? and patrice! she "hid lucy's secrets" hannah gruen thinks tiffany tried to show patrice video w lucy on it, which patrice then specifically says she hid in the thin mans book. so patrice knows of the thin man? can she see him? does she know he was a ghost/supernatural? she must have a supernatural sense to know about him (unless sal told or some shit) so then when tiffany shows up w/ lucy being supernatural in it patrice hides it to protect her? is this why she is "crazy" kinda like victoria? supernatural elements or ability to sense ghosts makes her unstable? this is why lucy being a ghost/nursery rhyme that she repeats makes patrice worse/"stroke"? how did patrice even get into the whisper box to put the key in the bible and get out without getting trapped? also, her dementia --> lucidity is really fucking off, some people mildly switch like that but usually with dementia they cant even register new shit anymore

-...so did bess take the ride? 👀

-interesting how celia says "your father will be disappointed" but nothing of her own opinion. wonder how much celia truly puts up with to keep everett calm and nonhomicidal

-like george asking nick follow up questions that nancy never really would have asked

🥞🥞🥞(ep13)🥞🥞🥞

-is this bitch just eating a plain pancake with her bare hand?

-"extra case load and excessive volunteering" ugh. nancy's family here are like, gross in how "good" of people they are // unrealistic, trying to paint carson in the best light/ no way ryan could ever compare (but the reality is theyre not that good of people for lying about nancy) **and shes arrogant to think shes better than everyone else ie the only one who truly lives virtuously, thinks she can do no wrong sometimes even tho using sex to cope, breaking and entering, etc is not morally "good" stuff she still thinks she is the only one who doesnt lie and plays fair (like in the pilot she lists everyone else as a suspect but herself- obviously we know she isnt guilty but no one else does. (i mean in theory we really dont, what if nancy was an unreliable narrator and was actually guilty, that would be a hella cool show)its reactions like that where she cant understand why others like the chief suspect her

-ooooh ironic that in the Good Place carson readily agrees to pay her for helping with cases as opposed to s2 in reality

-nick's house has "problems" so why does he need a lawyer? as opposed to an interior designer, plumber, or realtor?

-in the Good Place nick and george realize they are not going to work out after one date. does this failure in the Good Place predict failure in reality, or merely an easier way of figuring out the truth? does this mean that the "opposite" of the Good Place is reality, or only an opinion of what is better? (nancy says "you all like me" as her opinion of them liking her is skewed; does this then only reflect nancys version for what is the "perfect life"?)

-why is bess a hippie??? and love how george curls her hair and wears pink lipstick here

-if this dream is so realistic then why is the one thing it cant conjure smoke? like how random

-love the locket being a key realization bc with things like jewelry you dont notice the weight of them until theyre gone

-"you all like me" in her perfect life nancy means they "like" her objectively/regardless of circumstance even though liking her is still an objective choice (like they "like" her because of other reasons instead of her working at the claw? (like how you make friends with coworkers/people at school every day but after you leave the job/graduate you never speak to them again) and her "thanks for showing up!" as if theyre not doing exactly that in reality 😐like where is she getting this shit? she sort of acknowledges in earlier eps she is hard to like/that she puts mysteries before friends, but also pushing them away to avoid danger like the previous ep "why do u show up" etc

-is it just me or does the inside of nicks "house" look like the drews'?

-nick has a dick scar lmaooooo (or more likely was hit in the balls or smth)

-love how nick + george match their anger in confronting sal 100% on the same level

-so when did ace go back to work after having such a busy day earlier?? lmaooo

-damn father shane is a creep (casting defo hired him for his voice) and how tf did he just poof + escape? and what did he request???

-love bess's white hair bow here 😌+ her jacket, whole outfit on point as usual

-like how bess is right that nancy has to find her way out but thats kind of a nonstarter for a room full of panicked people wanting to help

-in the Good Place theres no bad blood between drews + hudsons bc nancy is really theirs

-"the only one who has the key is you" in the Good Place nancy has the key (smaller picture, to finding out what happened to lucy but bigger picture, post-reveal) but ryan has the clues nancy needs- following the Good Place's mirroring, this just means that in reality ryan will either be completely useless or an active hindrance (but you KNOW this is a dream bc in what universe would ryan remember clues like that 😂)

-so in a perfect universe ryan acknowledges his family's "criminal empire" as opposed to reality where he only makes under cover jabs about disengaging with being an "entitled corrupt legacy criminal" ie finding the bonny scot relics but does nothing about them, etc

-"strippers" 😂

-okay what is nancys obsession w her beanie?? bc her mom made it? "wear beanies do crimes?" idk

-making the call: nancy -unable to make up for lost time/both her mothers had to find out/suffer alone / in the Good Place nancy was able to be with kate while she called, and in reality she had carson; somethig about seeing the mother looking to the daughter for strength in the Good Place instead of the reverse (which is what reality sounded like, kate being strong for nancy through the illness despite the struggle)

-concept: nancy & nick "let's wait out the storm"

-"i believe that you believe it" nick in the Good Place + owen in reality both trust nancy when she says she's seen things (owen's is the teeth) but nick in reality (and not really knowing details) doesnt think much of their "moment" bc it wasnt real (so she had to leave the Good Place to save carson- but if she had known then he wasnt her real dad, would she have stayed to be w nick?)

-stranger - suede james 💙👌🏻

-"really anxious as a kid" v telling bc of her desire to know everything to remain in control of situations like she always does now

-"the medicine or the metaphysics?"/"you cannot beat supernatural with science"

-i love nancy playing with her pinky while saying goodbye 🥺

-"always seek out the truth even if it hurts" this is straight irony bc kate never told nancy anything. like does that include the truth about nancys parentage? they taught her to seek out the truth, but who taught her that the truth is the only thing to live by? ie things dont count anymore like carson and kate straight up raising her is tossed out bc she finds out its not "the truth" like all that work/stress to protect carson + she just drops him? with kate maybe shes just upset thst she spent all that time mourning for someone who lied. and would she do the same to ryan if needed? probably

-bess and ace head tilt 💙

-like how for all the time she spent there nancy only has a subconscious memory of blue curtains

-YESSSSS i LOVEthese beautiful overhead shots of hannah's hands. so out of character for the show lmao but so gorgeous

-i feel like future eps/grand future will be nancy going through the lock boxes to help people who asked hannah for help

-the video is officially dated Aug 22, 2019

-soooooo in the first ep nancy breaks into the hudsons house and finds tiffanys secret drawer w the nail polish and finds the amulet with a note that says "for your protection HG" yet on this video tiffany says she talked to a medium who gave her the amulet sooooo am i just confused? HG is hannah gruen obvi so is the address for the medium what hannah gave her? or was the address on the amulet which nancy dissolved in salt water to see? so how would tiffany know where to go? its chicken and the egg which came first hannah or the medium?

and lastly:

i close these two eps with a thought that everything in this show is sealed in death. all the lies, the imagery, the fake constructs people put up to get by all crumple the second someone dies- all the secrets come clean just like these doors have been unsealed.

[midoriyaizukustan-inactive]

consider this: izuku doesn’t go to aldera but instead he went to soumei and it’s iideku friends to lovers where iida supports his dream and they train together and tenya tells tensei about it and during the foursome fearsome hangout tensei starts talking about this quirkless kid who’s working hard to be a hero and piques aizawa’s interest and soaodnmxownsosks;;;; C,,,, they’re such beautiful bois I love them;;;;

SJFNKSJRSLMDKL BRO YOURE SUCH AN INTELLECTUAL I AM FUCKING SCREAMING

inko gets mido OUT of aldera bc she finds out abt the extent of the bullying nd she will Not have her boy be tortured like that under her watch

mido kinda protests at first bc he doesnt want to make it a big deal and also what if it’s not any better in another school but inko is determined to try and help him so mido lets her

SOO soumei is a fancy private school but im sure if u can pass the entrance exam with a certain score or higher u can get a scholarship which mido succeeds in doing bc he’s a smart lil bean

anyway so he comes as like a resident nerd bc he’s gotten the highest score in like years. and iida as we all know is always striving for academic excellence so when they end up in the same class he introduces himself RIGHT away like “HELLO!!! I AM IIDA TENYA!!! IT’S A PLEASURE TO MEET YOUR ACQUAINTANCE” mido screams but it’s okay iida apologizes nd mido is like “no its all good u just startled me is all” we love them

ANYWAY so iida invites him to sit w him during lunch nd like ppl r friendly towards iida but theyre not rlly friends w him?? not like super close bc he’s well Iida but also ppl r intimidated cause iida fam stuff

but mido has stars in his eyes and he thinks iida is so cool and iida is so flustered nd flattered HHH babies,,

so they become quick friends nd mido ends the first school week without anyone even asking abt his quirk bc theyre so interested in his nerdiness instead!!! so he’s a lot happier

it does come out tho eventually probably when a teacher implies smth or mido says smth self-deprecating but u know same result. ppl are still nice to mido to his surprise but they treat him like glass which he gets fed up w p quick but he’d rather this than the outright hostility

iida is still his friend tho and he still likes mido and mido is like “ok. ur my favorite person in the whole world.” and like all might is still his favorite but iida is becoming his real hero AH

mido is kinda nervous abt talking abt his dreams to be a hero but iida can just tell like from the way mido talks to him abt any and all things heroes nd how he analyzes quirks iida just knows,,and one day iida is like “u know midoriya-kun i think you’re gonna be a great hero. have u decided which hero school u wanna go to yet?” cause they were talking abt high schools before lunch started

mido YELLS but also hes so flustered bro literally doesnt know how to respond for a solid five minutes he’s just red-faced and like giddy but also like “WAHH WHERE DID THAT COME FROM IIDA-KUN” “DID I SAY SOMETHING WRONG??” “NO I- I APPRECIATE IT IM JUST- AHH” they scream. but eventually mido calms down enough to tell him ua and iida is like “OH ME TOO!!!! we can train together!!!” mido is fucking floored

anyway then like u said iida is always talking up a storm abt mido and how he admires him and thinks he’s so cool nd when iida mentions mido is gonna apply to ua, aizawa is like “oh worm?”

aizawa finds mido and after mido finishes screaming hes like “i can help train u kiddo” “AHHH- but wait im gonna train with my friend iida” “i know him he can come too” “AHHHHH” PLEASE BRO IM CRYING,,,

obv throughout all this iida and mido are pining so hard. so fucking hard it’s like painful almost but BRo. aizawa gets to deal with these fucking middle-almost-high-schoolers pussyfooting around each other and blushing at literally everything the other does and hes like “oh my god.”

HHH BUT JUST,,,THEY MAKE IT THROUGH THE ENTRANCE EXAM TOGETHER,,,IIDA GOES W MIDO TO HELP SAVE URARAKA FROM THE ZERO POINTER AND BOTH GET RESCUE POINTS THAT WAY,,,PLEASE

they have a sleepover when the results come in and both r just so excited and so happy. they stay up SO late and mido mightve kissed iida in a sleep-deprived haze but no one’s complaining

they dont rlly TALK about it tho so theyre like dating but not officially and uraraka nd tsu have to say smth like a quarter into their first year like “u guys r so close how long have u been dating” “WE’RE NOT DATING??” “midoriya you literally kissed iida good morning” “THATS JUST WHAT BROS DO?” “midoriya. no. thats kinda gay.”

please this is such a god-tier iideku concept. i am absolutely floored. i owe you my life. please i love them PLEASE this was so good,,,thank you

[borhapstyles]

Can you write for Joe based off the song The Maccabees - Toothpaste Kisses, please? I lysm 💕💕💕💕

i just watched angus thongs and perfect snogging for the millionth time (we love poetic cinema) so this is veeerrry much inspired by that as well :) i hope this suffices, i think this is really cute and hope to have this someday with someone i love 

(and i know the film doesn’t take place in Brighton but I was just going for that cute couple day out vibe that Georgia and Robbie have in the last scene xx) 

it’d be a sweet summer’s day 

well as sweet as a summer’s day could be in England

(im sorry im american i dont know if they’re that warm or not yet heh)

they’d be in the process of getting Bo Rhap ready to begin filming

and you were so excited for him, knowing how special the project was 

but you also knew that this meant long days and nights, sometimes not seeing him at all

and the glittering spring and summer days you spent with him would soon come to an end (or at least be put on pause)

Joe could sense your bittersweet feelings on the situation

and decided that day that he’d give you one last good summer’s day before filming 

so he woke you up one morning

with gentle neck and jaw kisses, nuzzling his nose in the spot behind your ear as he whispered

“wake up, baby” in his morning voice

at first you’d groan and say no because you two had a late night last night

u know

playing scrabble

and you were tired, but Joe was persistent

“please?” he’d say before kissing your sweet spot

“i have a reaaally good day planned for us and without giving away too much, there’s churros involved”

“are we going to the pier or something” 

“how the fuck did you- okay, no. but yeah, we are.” 

aaand then you guys would get up and get dressed 

and took the train ride down from London to Brighton to go along the pier

on the couple hour’s ride you leaned your head against his shoulder and watched the go by

“please promise me we’ll move into a little cottage somewhere out here when we’re old” 

and Joe just would just laugh and kiss the top of your head and told you he’d do whatever makes you happiest

when at the pier, your fingers would lace together with his and never really let go

with all the little kids running around, it was easy for the two of you to catch baby fever

“i’m hoping that’ll be us someday” Joe would say before pointing out a couple who had a young daughter and young son as they played along at one of the games

he told some of the lamest dad jokes but also some of the wittiest one-liners as you two strolled along 

“y/n, can you take a picture of me here please” he’d ask you in front of one of the rides before doing some odd pose that he’d no doubt send to Ben

not that you needed an explanation, it would probably end of confusing you even more

speaking of rides tho

you and Joe would definitely go on the bumper cars

and wreak havoc on everyone else and each other

Joe would also try to record your screams on the rollercoasters

it’s a miracle he didn’t drop his phone

and at the games area

he’d watch some teens fail at the ring toss game and go “pft, I can do way better than that” but then just go crazy at tossing all of them in hopes that most would just go in 

he got like one in 

and when you jokingly told him you wanted the giant stuffed penguin at one of the other booths

you can bet your sweet ass homeboy was determined to win it for you

“Joe, no, I was kidding” you’d say when he went for the second round after losing the first

“no, babe, it’s the principle of it now, i’m not leaving Brighton and neither are you without that penguin in hand” 

like 40 pounds later and Joe finally won it

and you were like we could’ve bought a nicer stuffed animal with that money

or more food for that matter

but after spraying the penguin with some of Joe’s cologne u slept with that thing every night when you two were apart

anyways

let’s face it you and Joe got food babies from all the things you ate there

you two wouldn’t buy a lot from one place but just share a churro here, a milkshake there, fish and chips at some point, maybe even split a burger 

that by the end of it

you two were like all that fried food was a baaaad idea

and didnt eat fried food for a while

but the experience was good and y’all didnt regret walking around bloated

cause you were bloated together

but perhaps your favorite part of the day was when the sun was nearly setting

all the fairy lights around the area were turned on

you and Joe was tired from the day and lazily walked around

but that didn’t stop him from doing that cute little thing where he lifts his arm and yours to spin you around

then kiss you passionately for a few seconds

before you two continued walking and tried not to run into people

and repeat the whole process over again

you sighed contently in his grasp and smiled as you heard the waves crashing along

“thank you for today, it was perfect” you said, feeling as if you were light as a feather

Joe would smile down at you and kiss your temple 

but then say something super cheesy like “i hope i brightoned your day” 

to which you’d roll your eyes

but laugh profusely as he’d wink at you

Joe made you laugh all the time

Didn’t matter what, he just always had the ability to bring giggles out of your lips

you could be crying nd he’d be the only person to cheer you up

on this particular date with him, you felt as if you laughed more on that day than all the other times combined in your life before having met him

and that’s how it’d always be with him

just happy

[baelllamyblake]

Prima Ballerina. ( Billy Hargrove x reader )

Request : Billy imagine where reader is a ballerina and friends with max and the kids and they drag billy to the readers recital and he’s all soooft and forms a cruuuush on her, thank you you’re an amazing writer

Pairing : Billy Hargrove x fem Wheeler! reader

Word Count : 986 sorry for it being so short! 

Warnings : didn’t do very much research on ballet or Swan lake even tho im in dance lol oops 

A/N : I got so many requests for Billy and I am so fuckin hyped for it! I'm going to try nd post a couple more tonight so definitely expect spam dont unfollow me im still working on bellamy requests pls  thank you so much for requesting this was really fun to write !! i love dance !! also let me know if i wrote finn instead of mike i forgot his character’s name lmfao

FEEDBACK IS GREATLY APPRECIATED SO PLS FCK ME UP WID IT<3

“ Y/N! “ Finn’s friends yelled loudly in unison before running and tackling you in a group bear hug in the door way. You were only home for thirty seconds and all of these kids were already pestering for a ride to the ice cream shop.

“ Oh my God, chill out, you guys! Let me get changed and then I’ll take you. “ You sighed out tiredly, mostly wrapping your arms around Noah and Dustin as you were unable to hug everyone. They immediately unlatched and cheered loudly as they quickly retreated back into the basements. Jeez, they’re like little goblins!

“ So, Y/N, when’s your next recital? “ Dustin asked curiously, the corners of his mouth covered in chocolate ice crea. Everyone echoed his question, instantly overwhelming your exhausted mind. “ We all want to go! We’re even considering taking Billy along. “

“ Billy? I thought he hated you all. “ You replied with another question, your eyebrows furrowing in confusion. You hadn’t formally met the big stepbrother of Max but you had seen him a couple times around school and that strange night Max stabbed him with a tranquilizer. “ Which is understandable, you guys are like annoying little flies. “

“ Hey! We are not! “ Finn barked out as well as the rest of his friends. Ugh, you shouldn’t have done that.

“ I’m only half kidding, little brother! Calm down! “ You playfully teased the group, only earning more of a defensive uproar. You really shouldn’t have done that. “ Quiet! My recital is next Friday. I better see you guys in the front row or I’m never taking you here again. “

“ What the hell did you drag me out here for, Max? This stuff’s for losers! “ Billy grumbled quietly, his hand slightly crumpling the pamplet containing the name of the ballet and dancers. His boot tapped impatiently against the wooden floor, he couldn’t wait to leave and go smoke with his friends. The lights slowly dimmed as Max sharply hushed him silent.

You stood elegantly in your place until the stage lights illuminated and the music started. The ballet was practically a low budget Swan Lake with you dancing the main role of Odette. As soon the spotlight dawned on you, Billy immediatly leaned forward in his seat. You were captivating, his eyes never straying from you.

“ Who is that? “ Billy whispered quietly towards Max, his finger pointing to you moving gracefully along the stage.

“ That’s Finn’s big sister, Y/N, she’s the Swan Princess. “ Max explained in a whisper, her finger pointing to your name in the thin booklet. He briefly glanced to your name before looking back to you, refusing to miss even a moment of you. “ Isn’t she amazing? Y/N’s been working so hard for this. “

“ Uh huh. “ Billy was quick to agree, Max’s next sentence flowing through one ear and out the other. He just had to meet you.

Two hours later, the ballet finished with a bang with you as the centerpiece of the ending pose. You and the rest of the ballerinas retreated into the dressing room, breaking out in loud whoops and yells of success. You hugged each and every one of your peers, congratulating them on their performance.

You exited the dressing room and entered into the theater house, immediatey greeted by the familiar faces of Finn’s friends and your parents. Your mother nearly teared up at your beautiful performance but was soon distracted by having her friends take pictures of you and her together. Billy wordlessly stood behind everyone, this really wasn’t his thing but he didn’t really feel upset about being hauled out anymore.

Billy felt more nervous than anything, he was already smitten with you and he only saw you two hours earlier. Max was quick to notice her stepbrother’s unusual behavior from the getgo. She latched onto your wrist with an iron grip and forcefully pulled you towards Billy, you nearly tumbled over your own feet when Max suddenly stopped before him.

“ Hello, I guess? Max really wanted me to meet you for some reason. “ You greeted Billy, a confused smile curling on your lips. The moment you smiled, he was stuck frozen solid like a deer in the headlights. Billy couldn’t believe you were standing in front of him. You were even more beautiful up close!

“ Uh. h-hi, I’m Billy, Max’s brother. You were great, floating up there like a fairy n’ all. “ Billy stuttered slightly but managed to get his sentence out into the air. You breathed out a small chuckle, he was so nervous that it was cute! Oh God, Billy, get yourself together!

“ Mm, more like a swan but I’m glad you liked it and it’s nice to finally meet you, Billy! I’ve heard a lot about you. “ You beamed happily, your elbow lightly nudging him on the bicep, hoping to get him to open up a bit more. He couldn’t help but imagine himself making you scream his name. Now’s not the time, Billy!

“ What have you heard? “ He questioned, his tone coming off as worried. His eyebrows raised in concern, were you going to mention how much of an asshole he is to Max? The rest of the group watched you interact with Billy, wondering what you two were talking about.

“ Well, I heard that you were coming to the ice cream shop with us. “ You testified, a playful smile curling on your face as your head nodded towards the group behind you. They cheered quietly amongst themselves as the mentioning of going to the icecream shop again. Billy was more puzzled than anything, when did you hear that?

Oh wait, you’re inviting him along!

“ Oh really? I’ll see you at the shop then, beautiful. “

[chrliekclly]

do you think charlei and dee had sex because they mistook their genuine platonic bonding as attraction? (serious question, steming from thatlesbian dee post). I never thought of it that way, and I'm interested to hear that side !

YES that’s actully smthn i lose my sht abt !! iv blown up ppls mssgs with this kinda talk like, im a mess. ok lemme type right nd lemme type A Lot Again Anyways cz thos 2 giv me Way too many feelings (im spposd to b working on a final rn christ…)

okay…i scrolled back up after finishing nd turns out i went…literally insane…aka Much too far…so i need to under-the-cut it. mobile…viewers…i’m rly so sorry. swipe hard to leap ahead…hell im sorry fr computer viewers too. my theme is rough.

to start, my HCs surrounding chardee are rooted in charlie being on the ace spectrum and dee being gay (or like @ least bi, but imo all the men stuff is straight up compulsory heterosexuality).

i will always cling tight to the deleted scene wherein charlie says he thinks sex is gross and will genuinely get sick when he thinks about it unless he thinks about it with one specific woman. i know he shows sexual interest a decent amount of times throughout the show and has canonically had sex (on camera too, yeesh) but i see each time as very out of the blue moments (coming onto dee @ multiple points while worked up, agreeing to bang tatiana cuz she says to, that kinda thing) or relating to his long standing and delusional obsession with the waitress. in that vein, he’s also canonically enjoyed sex, and I don’t try and blind-eye any of it, because ace doesn’t always mean sex can’t be enjoyed in the moment. charlie definitely has a libido, and bodies be bodies. hell, sex-repulsed can sometimes even flip 180 in the right conditions. shit is one fun spectrum i’ll tell you that…but either way, to start with him, i think him going forward with banging dee was very much a misjudgment of what feelings are and being extremely caught up in a moment where he felt real, genuine, closeness with someone else who he was having a damn good time making terrible poetry with.

as for dee, i, first of all, just agree with everything in that post. in the context of chardee, as much as i will lose my mind in tags about how hard i ride or die the ship, it’s mostly my obsession with their dynamic. i don’t think chardee is meant to be endgame. i absolutely 100% believe that dee, too, is misinterpreting her feelings. i think part of it is her consistent comp het, and the other is she’s never been close with someone the way she has been with charlie, and she doesn’t know what she’s meant to do with it. i think she was similarly caught up in a moment in which she showed her own vulnerability, opening herself up to someone who could easily just ridicule her as she’s used to (”right now? i’m scared”), and she receives support from him instead (”you’re not gunna bomb, you’re gunna do great”). we’ve seen how much dee craves validation, thats her entire thing. i’m not shocked she dropped her pants in this moment lmao. she probably felt her damn heart flutter cuz she got told by someone who she at least somewhat trusts that she really is good, even if she doesn’t think so. the only rational explanation for the feeling associated with that person is that he’s The One right? pretty big leap

just…basically i dont think either of them know what a relationship is.

charlie’s lived nearly his entire life deluding himself into thinking that, 1. he and the waitress have a relationship that is anything other than creepy, and 2. that the warped-ass mess of an image he’s created in his brain for what he and the waitress are to each other is what love is. he thinks he’s making progress in getting close to her when the only thing she’s Ever done pre-s12 is ask him to leave her the fuck alone. he’s never even attempted to look past the waitress before, and the only time he shows interest in other people it’s purely his libido talking. he doesn’t pursue romance, and the one time we’ve seen him do so he was using her to get to, who else?, the damn waitress. 

dee’s lived her entire life having to prove herself to every single person she interacts with, and its familiar to her to getting ahead by using men, usually as sexual objects. i’m hesitant to bring this up on a post wherein i speak on dee’s sexuality because i don’t want to link this trait to it in any way as if its related, but to be fair, dee is as much a serial rapist as dennis is in that regard. the gang are shitty people, we know that. she will get men drunk to have sex with them, or pressure them into it, or trick them into it. she’s not having sex with these men for pleasure, she’s literally doing it for power. it’s absolutely fucked up, but so is she.

when she Is romantically involved, she’s shown to leap headfirst into those relationships and blow them out of proportion on 0 grounds for it. she buys a promise ring for a guy who didn’t think they were dating, it’s implied she’s going to actually go ahead with the brad fisher marriage thing after the episode ends, she gloats about how important she is to a stripper who was literally shame-crying during sex (also? she says “we BOTH wept,” and she can say that’s because it was that good, but i really doubt it). i mean the woman GAGS when talking to men she’s “nervous” around, something she takes as meaning she’s attracted to them? lmao uh???

at this point i’ve probably repeated myself over and over, my brain is on backwards and my train of thought went off the rails years ago. but i’m still gunna retype an old set of tags i found:

i hc that neither of them end up together but they do go through a relationship-ish phase, but dee’s gay and charlie’s okay with that (and always ace in my mind) because they finally move on from their own irrational drives to adhere to what they think is expected of them. i dont think either of them have any idea what a relationship is meant to be and they pathetically grasp at each other because they’re kind-ish to one another and that feels safe for once. chardee may be my main ship but i purposefully backtrack on myself because i know they’re two people who barely know love and have found each other, both as underdogs in their environments, and feel an electrifying Something that they Cant Name wen theyre together, and that something just so happens to be friendship and they don’t realize it cuz they’re doofuses who’ve led really unfortunate lives where friendship and hatred are always intermingling.

i’ve never brought it up here, but i often imagine a timeline of their relationship, because i enjoy the idea of them figuring themselves out through each other, just because they are genuinely amazing (platonically) together, and they get into some of my favorite shit. the thought of late night talks and confessions about their worries and confusion about their feelings while lying in bed, just close because they feel comfortable that way, realizing they can keep loving each other and not force it to mean something it doesn’t, the relief that comes with that, a final kiss that really doesn’t mean anything but thank you, not losing what they had but rather gaining a whole new kind of intimacy, and still getting into absolutely ridiculous situations. maybe dee realizes shes, ironically, found herself with a crush on the waitress and it cracks charlie up. he doesnt mind. he’s finally learned that if he Is going to be with someone it should definitely be with someone who makes him feel at Least half as comfortable as the way being around dee does, and knowing he doesn’t have to make himself look for that, but when he knows he will know. plus, he cant imagine dee pulling that one off. but maybe one day she does. dees gentler around the edges, and she gets butterflies when talking to women, but she never gags. charlie’s a terrible wingman but he keeps convincing dee to let him try. she brings a girl home for the first time and charlie all but backflips in an empty pool that day. they’re still shithats but they’re learning to let that go. people can get better. AA would probably help.

iv gone too far goodbye

[thedappleddragon]

today was just kinda weird. my dreams were abstract and faded quickly because my cat woke me up. I was gonna have breakfast, but I noticed my dad cooking on the grill outside so I waited till that was done. I sat on the trampoline and talked with him about college stuff and ate the food he made, and about 3 hawks kept circling around the neighborhood and landing on the tallest tree in our backyard. after looking up patterns and listening to calls on youtube, they might have been red shouldered hawks? I couldn't see any markings or colorations other than stripes on the tail since they were so high up. they’ve been living on our street for years, and at one point set up a nest at the end of the street. I liked watching them fly around and call at each other. I think it was a mating pair and another male trying to pick a fight lmao. after finishing lunch, my dad asked me to rake some leaves off the grass so it would have a chance to grow back. I don't every really like raking up wet leaves that have been there a while because I feel bad disturbing all the worms and slugs and bugs that thrive there. I do like the muddy smell It kicks up tho because it reminds me of the renaissance fair and general good vibes. I picked up a slug and let ir crawl around on my fingers and just watched until I realized the salt from sweat on my fingers might be hurting it and drying it out so I put him down somewhere safe. I also picked up this FAT ASS WORM :O IT WAS SO BIG. I also let that crawl on my fingers for a bit and it made me think of my mom telling me that she loved how I was never afraid of playing in the dirt or picking up worms at the bus stop and showing other kids. I like worms! at one point while I was picking through leaves I thought I saw a tiny snail but it was just an acorn cap :( I dont get to see nearly enough snails. I'm glad I got to see a frog in my yard one time tho. i wanna know where people live where they get to see lizards and frogs and snails everywhere without even trying. y know what, if it’s not oo much work I think I'll get an emotional support snail for college. I almost texted my friend and future roommate just now to ask her but thought better of it. after fucking around in the backyard for a bit I washed the mud off my shoes and ankles and got in bed intending to fill out more college forms but procrastinated and played a little bit of animal crossing, intending to catch a dung beetle as it’s the last day of the month and they disappear in march, but the snow was already gone. bud move into my village tho. I did eventually fill out all the forms. I was on youtube and I got inspired to DRAW so I drew a thicc anthro cow. oops. BUT HEY the sketches turned out cute and I had fun :) I might clean up a couple and color them digitally tomorrow who knows. I wanted to crochet but the right sized hook wasn't cooperating nd then my wrist started hurting so I gave up. I tried watching anime but I got fed up with Crunchyroll ads immediately and then got frustrated at having nothing to do. so I got stuck doing nothing and then stuck on tiktok. I got sleepy so I went under all my sheets but then I got overstimulated from being too hot so I turned on my fan but now I’m hot and annoyed and mad that my hair is dirty :( whatever I'll just go to the kitchen for a minute to reset and try again

[minblush]

don't worry i feel the same way!! i was so looking forward to gayo's because of the song covers, and they didn't this time :( i mean i still appreciate the performances they gave us, they did a great job, but i am kind of sad too. it's just so exciting seeing them take on another groups style

yeah of course they still worked hard and delivered some amazing performances skdjkasd, but also despite different instrumentals and stuff, it’s still all performances we’ve seen many times before except for the short intros skdjakd but yeah i agree

Anonymous said:I was upset they haven’t done any special stages too :( I always look forward to them and enjoy them the most. ahh I just can’t get used to the change

we literally got so many legendary performances from these year end things that i still think about all the time, it’s a bit sad yeah dakjsd i liked these performances but also like, i doubt anyone will remember them or look for them two years from now on unlike the previous stages

Anonymous said:I totally feel ya.. I was really excited to see some solo stages nd im just dissapointed. Because they equally worked hard for all the performances they put out as a group, as rap line, vocal line. But each member cud have done smething solo for atleast a few seconds, just like Tae today. Donno wat bighit is upto but i dearly hope they don’t go with usual kpop popular grp paths.

i mean they had those short intros like jimin and hobi did, but yeah for the most part… :( honestly i think it’s a combination of them being really busy and also being so big now they just don’t have to do these stages anymore? cause for groups the special stages are a way to promote themselves and create buzz for the general public, so maybe bighit feels with all the massive exposure they now got in korea, that they don’t have to make the boys learn 6 new choreos over a month anymore? on one hand good cause they won’t be as exhausted, but i feel like there is still room for some special stuff… but also i want to ask you, is there really anything anymore that makes you think like they aren’t proceeding like other groups? what sets them apart anymore? tbh

Anonymous said:yoongi didnt write his part in mic drop? i dont know a lot of things about them omg do u mind spilling more tea? if u dont want to its okay i know u could get hate :( but i would rly like to know more about it

no he didn’t write it, rapline hasn’t written a lot of their parts in the last album sadly, you can just check the credits on albums if you want to see! that info is out there. and about tea, i really meant it like, there are things i also wish i didn’t know? so i’m not going to pass them on, sorry ;-;

Anonymous said:I think that’s why a lot of fans coming from HYYH era and even WINGS felt a bit let down with this album. My worry is that as they get bigger, they’ll eventually become what they had tried NOT to become which is another overly produced Kpop boy band with tons of external producers, composers etc. If Sea and the Outro (tho I didn’t like this outro) hadn’t been on this album, I’d have honestly started to lose faith in Bangtan’s sound moving forward. I rlly hope their next album is different (2/2)

ah sorry i didn’t get the first part? but i get what you’re saying because i’ve shared the same sentiment and talked about it a lot when the album came out. honestly i feel like they kinda reached the point you’re talking about with that album, external producers, less involvement from members, less substance lyrics wise. and honestly.. i wouldn’t hold my breath for any improvement? because yoongi said himself in the billboard interview, that they definitely do not want to ruffle any feathers with their -social criticism- that they want to bring people together instead, so with that we’ll just get very vague things and messages like -love yoursef- from now on, and considering the more personal lyrics had been hidden and kind of treated as just something for fans and not the real album material as well, like that just confirms it for me? so i just hope the songs will be bops, i hope bighit will stop media playing and exaggerating so i don’t have to feel all jaded, and i will just look forward to their mixtapes, solo work, hidden tracks where they will be able to express themselves more.. cause from how bighit had been acting and what has been said, i doubt we’ll go back to how things used to be anymore? but i’m also a huge pessimist sorry dakjsd i would love to be wrong

Anonymous said:hi i agree so much with what you said re: the boys involvement like… in the summer package how namjoon said yoongi writes what ~200 songs a year?? and looking at the credits for ly:h and how he had barely involvement it just breaks my heart that yoongi (and namjoon and hoseok and god knows whom else) are probably working so hard writing an dproducing and ur telling me not one of those songs was included… as oppose to prior albums… in favor of (imo djghdjfg) subpar tracks god its upsetting

Anonymous said:and as a follow on like… i cant help but feel sad that an album they barely contirbuted to is winning them all these accolades compared to the albums they were heavily involved in like.. idk how they feel about it but 2 me thats…. yikes

i think it’s unfair i believe their material would be better received anyway, like are you telling me yoongi didn’t make songs that are better than what the chainsmokers did? -.- idk i feel like bighit is making a mistake by trying to make the boys as universally appealing as possible when their underdog and difference from other kpop groups was what made a lot of people check them out in the first place… i get they can’t really act antiestablishment at his point even for show since they go around advertising even banks and mcdonalds and stuff, but how was her as an album at least, any different from what other groups do now? like seventeen or even exo musically, ykwim? lots of group throw in  a few writing credits in every now and then now for more credibility, but is that enough with bangtan? is that fair to them as artists? when in the past it was so different? 3: and yeah i’m so proud and happy for them but i also wish wings for example had been rewarded this way cause that was really the peak for the boys as musicians and as a group that is above the general kpop formula ;-; 

[dreamerology]

my biggest i love monsta x ever!!!!

no offence but if u had told me a year ago that these seven boys would have had this much of an impact on my life and not only that but i still love them as much now as i did on day one (maybe even more) i’d say u were lying. usually my interests come and go in phases and nothing has ever lasted as long as mx???? but i rly truly cannot imagine my life without them at this point. in fact, the 2-3 months at the very beginning of uni where i stopped having time for them and thought i was moving on were the worst of this year (ofc that wasn’t the only reason those months were hard, but feeling like i was falling out of love w mx hurt more than id care to admit). they’ve brought me so much happiness and connected me with so many amazing people and not 2 be cheesy but made me into a better person! like they just continue to have the biggest positive influence in my life and i got the opportunity to meet one of my best friends bc of them, i’ll forever be thankful for them

i know i havent been w mx since the beginnign but!!!! even just seeing shownu grow so much this year has made me sooooo happie!!!!!! i Love how u can just see he’s more comfortable now and seems a lot more at ease……..the fact that hes comfortable enough to host his own solo vlives and no offence but theres not a single thing i dont love abt that man! hes so fucking funny….like its sorta weird humor?? dad humor almost? BUT HES HONESTLY FUNNY WITHOUT EVEN TRYING hes just reached a point where he’s got no filter and will just say whatever and sometimes even the wording will make me laugh dkjfhkjsd the true underrated comedian of the group tbh. hes so selfless too bicht………….i still cant believe he split the money from his solo event w the other members My Heart :-((((((( and when hes on a solo schedule he’s always mentioning the others!!! nd doesnt let anyone forget abt them, they rly are one big family!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALSO HIS SMILE is the cutest shit ive ever seen!!!!! like when he smiles rlllly big nd his eyes crinkle nd he :D and his big “ha ha ha” ,,,,music 2 my ears!!!!!!!! i wish he could be that happy forever. hes the biggest softest teddy bear i just wanna give him a giant hug???

fun fact wonho was the first member i knew abt nd was able to recognize nd such!! my friend who helped me get into mx talked abt him a lot so i grew to love him before i even knew the others!!! actually hes probably still the one i know the most abt bc of her? anyways! angels exist and wonho is living proof of that! his love for mbbs is on a whole other plane of existance???? ive never felt this loved nd appreciated as a fan before nd its all genuine!!!!!. wonho is a monbebebebe first and a monsta second. hes just so full of love….im convinced thats why hes so Large he needs to fit his heart in his body somehow...hes just got so much love to give!!!!!!! he is the most thoughtful and caring person??? like not even towards monbebes and his memebrs but like at the end of mxray when he made sure to buy all the staff and crew little gifts as well, my heart grew 3 sizes for him!!!!!! and im so soo soooooooooooooosososooo proud of him to have some of his songs on the albums this year and not only that but! from zero getting a stage on tv!!!!!! his song!!!! he did that!!!!!! his hard work paid off….i hope he continues to be able to produce more music this year! oh one last thing, i love how? childish he is??? idk if thats the right word but hes always teasing or changing or playing around w the other members and hes always being goofy and laughing and it just makes my heart!!!!! rly happy nd warm

what is there left 2 be said abt minhyuk that i havent already said yet jdfshkjdhf i just! Love Everything abt that boy :-((((((( i love his sunshiney positive personality that never fails to cheer me up, i love how caring he is and how he always makes sure to be there for his members and makes himself open for them, i love his uneven blink, i love how soft his voice is and how it sounds exactly how sunshine looks, i love his fingers go sorta crooked when he makes a peace sign, i love his laugh and how silly he is, i love his thoughtful and serious side, i love how smart he is, i love his toothy smile, i love when hes on stage and he looks so radiant and glowing and u can see how happy he is and how he was truly built to shine, i love his ears, i love how affectionate and loving he is, i love his one (1) dimple, i love how sometimes he just says the weirdest shit…...like i rly wanna understand what hes thinking sometimes, i love how cute he looks wearing hats or how soft he looks in giant sweaters, i love him sooooooo much my heart hurts

can u believe i didn’t used to love kihyun this much? past me was a whole fool! i’ll try to keep this one sorta short too since i’ve already written a love essay for him but! once again i rly do love him w my whole heart!!!!!! absolutely Everything he does is so endearing and i loooove how he cares so much….he rly went and made us our own season's greeting for free nd his photography is rly No Joke! hes so talented nd u can rly see how passionate he is abt it!!!!! it makes me so so happy seeing him talk abt it, like he just lights up its the best thing ive ever seen. i Love his smile!!!! when his face scrunches up and u can see the little dimples on his cheeks and see all his teeth and he laughs and throws his head back or hits whoever’s closest to him or just collapses thats Good Shit!!!!!!!! im so glad he’s happy enough to be able to smile like that!!!!!!! it makes my heart tingle thinking abt him being happy. he rly is the cutest, i love him nd all his beauty marks :D !! nd no offense but hes never had a bad hair colour/style nd thats the tea on that!

chae hyungwon 2018’s lord nd saviour????????? anyways its about Damn Time i write him a love essay :-((((( having both best friends being hyungwon biased ive secretly been converted 2 a whole chaebebe….their love rubbed off on me!!! i love it :D idk where to start...gosh hes seriously so hardworking????? im soooooo so soo so proud of him!!! icb he picked up djing as a hobby nd then made it to a big festival, is on mix and the city and has released not one but two (2) songs only months later!!!!!!!!! we love a talented man!!!!!!! nd his dancing bichksjdfhsdj hes so fluid nd smooth when he dances…...i always find myself watching him first in group practices like there something rly captivating abt him?? please let him show us more of his dancing its So Good. also hes got the nicest voice…...its so deep wtf...but like its So Calming 2 listen to? especially when hes sleepy nd its extra raspy? Good Shit! and when he sings!!!!!!!! bicshjkdfhksdhj hes got one of my fave vocal voices i rly wish he got the lines he deserves :((( hes! So! Cute! jfhsdjfhs he gets embarrassed so easily and always makes the goofiest faces but i love it….he covers his smile sometimes too :-((( i wish he wouldnt its So Bright nd cute nd warm just like he is!!!! hyungwon’s smile is the 8th wonder of the world thats just the facts folks!

mister jooheon……….the true example of the duality of man. i dont understand how he can go from his scaredy cat self to and Actual God,,,blows my mind. i’m pretty sure i’ve said this at least a hundred times but his stage presence is truly Unreal……..its on a whole other level…….ive never seen them live but if i ever do i fear for my life. nd i know once it’s over im only gonna know one (1) man and that man is lee jooheon. but at the same time hes rly The Cutest id trust him w my life???? his eyes are so warm!!!!!! And his Big Smile!!!!!!!!!!! his dimples? deeper than the marianas trench, i wanna build my home in them nd raise my family there. hes such a talented dude!!!! mx don’t have a single bad song thenks jooheon! also for the first couple months i’d alway forget he was one of the youngest? like hes very mature too nd seems very responsible djfhkjsdhfjsd idk how he was the only one 2 be able to keep it together during their first win 2 give the speech…..hes so strong. i love him so much :-( hes so cute nd gentle nd thoughtful...truly the biggest angel who deserves the world!!!!!!!!!!

i think if there's any member i would actually get along best w it would b changkyun. we’re both rly similar from what i can tell...like sorta quiet, but loud around those we’re comfortable with!!! first off hes so funny nd…..weird but like in a good way sdjfhksdjhf sometimes i rly just think he says the first thing that comes to his mind “actually we have a baby” ????? who let him \…..he always makes me laugh reading his fansign notes too omg that being said hes also one of the most serious members at times i feel like. hes just got this rly mature vibe nd he handles things rly well??? idk if that makes sense but Yeah. he’s just someone who’s not rly afraid 2 be themselves, i wish that were me??? ive got so much to learn from them. also icb he literally invented being cute???? he doesn't even have 2 try hes just adorable!!!!!! like his laugh nd smile? The Best!!!!! and when u can see his lil dimples yeahhhhh hes sooo super sweet and cheesy. i looooove how close hes gotten w the other members despite their rough start, they rly are a family nd im glad hes comfortable around them it rly warms my heart!!!!! whenever hes getting showered in love my heart !!!!!!! its what he deserves!

on that note, the one thing i think that has stayed with me more than anything is that one fansign note where ck was asked how he wants to be remembered in the future, when they only occasionally thought abt him and his answer was “that i gave you happiness” and not 2 b a sentimental shit but fuck! i cry every time i think abt that!!!!!!! bc i Know there’s gonna come a day where i don’t think abt them at all! there’s gonna be a day where i won’t think abt them until i see something that jogs my memory and jolts me back to this time and even tho this year has been rough i know i always will remember how much happiness they’ve brought me. i’ll remember how they were able to cheer me up when nothing else worked. i hope one day i’ll be able to feel the Pure Joy i felt when they got their first win….i’ve never felt anything like that before. i cant wait to be able to look back in nostalgia at all the happiness they’ve brought me.

anyways that got real sappy towards the end i gotta blast now bye!

[startwithbrooklyn]

THE GREAT ND REWATCH OF 2021 / SEPTEMBER 10-11, 2019 // the car crash

-"stop acting offended" oh god sis 😰🥶

-"lucy knew hudson family secrets in the past, tiffany knew hudson family secrets in the present. both of them are dead." and you ARE a hudson family secret, hes trying like a pretty little liar to keep it 😭

-"you suspect everyone of everything, you always have since you were little" 🤔 *professor voice* "the ad hominem is a fallacy of relevance where someone rejects or criticizes another person’s view on the basis of personal characteristics, background, physical appearance, or other features irrelevant to the argument at issue.

An ad hominem is more than just an insult. It’s an insult used as if it were an argument or evidence in support of a conclusion. Verbally attacking people proves nothing about the truth or falsity of their claims" https://thebestschools.org/magazine/15-logical-fallacies-know/#adhominem

-"if you keep suspecting the people closest to you of horrific crimes you're gonna end up alone" this quote becomes fascinating in the context of our future knowledge of nancys parentage foreshadowing "i've been alone my whole life" threatening nancy with solitude comes off weird. the price of being too perfect i suppose.* wonder about ryan's take on this as a parent. strangely i think she honestly wouldn't mind being alone (on some level anyway)

-wonder what exactly makes captain tom a "legend". he was featured so prominently in the press that a serial killer engaged w him and made him out to be a hero.

-"didnt want his mom to see" where was aces mom this ep and w the poisoner? wonder why they only chose to reveal her s2. maybe to give captain tom more of a feature?

-"he was letting us down" ...or just you?

-"you two are that kinda close" its been like 2 months since they met sis i guess that is 'close' to you

-"how are you and your family?" laura says that to ace in the recording --> s2 ironyyyyy

-love how mcginnis forces the nurse to update these random strangers at the hospital lmaooo

-i love how nancy kinda thinks shes the only one doing supernatural things like shes always surprised to find people who think its legit, even hannah gruen who takes it so straight faced and seriously, nancy always respects her but gives off a little "you might be taking this a bit too seriously" vibe imo

-bess w that unintentional save on the phone to nick lmaoooo

-rawley side eyes the fuck out of nancy as she literally breezes past him to get to mcginnis 😂

-wonder how mcginnis owes tom exactly

-mcginnis looks just as reluctant to admit he cares about ace as nancy does lmfaoo

-damn she knows him really well, all he communicates to her are fucking facial expressions (and her back lmao)

-"theyre not my friends" vs "i'd try anything to save my friend" - is ace the first one she calls a friend? like, the actual f word? 👀😳

-in sharp contrast to nick, george is ironically good at mysteries bc shes always suspicious of everyone

-"okay. dead lucy-" *everyone groans* 😂

-*breezes past carson in his own house* what a mood lmao

-wonder if adam beach supported this feature or if he thought it was disrespectful/cringe

-"there are many things you and i need to discuss" 👀😳🙈👗👑🤰😰🥺🤱😔

-so do we think ted has been corrupted by simon when bess opens that door orrrr was that just ted doing 8 year old things

-love this nick/bess bonding tho

-so carson-wolf, nancy-whale, george-turtle and ace-bear. wonder if those specific animal choices have any particulr meaning. 🐢"a turtle, cool" 😂

-carson definitely has his white "do not understand but dont wanna offend" face on 😭🙈

-when i first watched this ep i could not stop saying "nifty!" the whole time 😂🤦🏼‍♀️

-carson's like "okay ive had enough of indulging this make believe crap dont tell me somethings wrong w my very clearly wrong kid"

-"this is serious" lmfaooooo at this point nancy only appeases mcginnis' beliefs bc shes desperate for answers at any cost (ie "i can just ask tiffany what happened")

-wonder how long carson has worked on this cover story for when nancy inevitably asked (the fact that he got the most curious child in the world is so fucking painful yet funny)

-nancy like 😌👉🏻👈🏻"hey mom, my friend accidentally wandered into your world for a minute, could u help find her?" lmaoo

-"are we even dating?" its been a week baby chill lmaooooo

-lisbeth + hairstroking 💙

-okay bess nails her with this clothing/fashion analysis but everyone dismisses fashion so readily as frivolous that bess gets underestimated on sight

-15 years ago + "i made you that promise when you were six" = ace is 21

-"the moment he thought his father was going to die" i'll take carson - irony for 1200 alex

-wonder who tom was chasing before his crash

-"these boots dont belong" god damn george's big sister instinct activated on sight 😭

-wait how tf did she get that bear in her hand

-"you made a difference, right?" whens the last time someone told you that

-nick and bess are the weakest fucking links w mysteries lmfaoooo

-UNPOPULAR OPINION : "you're a cop!" nancy + cops - mcginnis and rawley fuck her over/view her sexually/as competition and let her down along with karen- but she likes lisbeth who is the opposite, suspected her from the beginning due to the previous people "betraying" her (she and the chief start this show in an odd place with zero trust bc she thinks she can do it better) but lisbeth passes the test; lisbeth is willing to bargain with them and doesnt question where they got the hudsons info. now nancy does not hesitate to call lisbeth for the murder of owen (ie the hand prints) and going after josh on the roof, even tells her the blunt truth about calling the agleaca (lisbeth is NOT woke to the supernatural btw) "use me" she does want to work with police, which she is infamous for not doing previously, because of her connection to bess? because they were men? karen didnt have enough power, or didnt take her seriously? what makes lisbeth so trustworthy? or is it only nancys desire to avenge owen? but she just didnt trust the other cops to get the job done- maybe she still doesnt, but at least she trusts lisbeth for the time as an authority figure when all others have failed. all cops (karen, chief and rawley) in nancy's trust lose her respect/secrets out but Lisbeth has to prove her worth to get in. maybe its something about engaging w women. i mean women can still fail her of course (lucy kind of, kate+reveal, karen) but in terms of feminist themes, the show capitalizes on these exchanges between women for the living and the dead: ghosts/demons who are male (ie simon) are pure evil (think "mr roper" at the asylum being in particular focus when it was the whole family who died) but something like the agleaca (of human origin) is made to be a sympathetic case/highlighting how women have suffered historically and are take revenge as ghosts, able to find power in death that they did not have in life, and circling back to nancy trying to give them previously denied justice through working with other women.

-"let me do it" 👀👀could it be? empathy? a sacrifice on behalf of someone you still wont call a friend?

-"killer boots." *struts like a badass with 'im a bitch, im a boss' playing in the background*

-okay lbr. how on earth did lucys dress come off her body in the ocean? like. is that legit??

-"it's just so not how i would handle things" SIS THIS SHIT COULD ALMOST PROVE YOU TWO ARE DNA RELATED FOR HOW YOU FUCKING HANDLE THINGS like nancy? are u on crack? lmfaooo carson absolutely came for u and he absolutely should have

-"i understand that impulse, it runs in the family" make it a true daily double, alex🙃

-"you stole evidence and sent it out of state because you believed it was the right thing to do" no, you just think you know better than everybody else tbh

-wowwwwwww i cant believe lisbeth really decked her but another half of me can i fucking love lisbeth

and lastly

-oh ted. 💔🥺