#like under scrutiny it falls aprt to me its just not enough to talk about masculinity

[transzilla]

True I think it is a real phenomena but it is a double edged sword and I don't think it's like people will immediately write you off for presenting masculine. Like it does vary from community to community so we can't really talk about it in like vague oh masculinity this femininity that. I really dislike this conflation between butches and trans males and gnc transfems as OHH MASCS because again it's not like this masculinity club, from group to group it's going to be a new can of worms just based on whatever people have going on. Like some groups might just be more chill with transfems, like maybe they had too many experiences with asshole trans men and they're bitter and take it too far. Still sucks but like everyone has their own reasons.

Like in a lot of discourse it's hard to put your own experiences out there because people are hurting and it's the internet so you can't really put a vulnerable time of your life out there to explain your reasoning because someone might come for u about it and insult the fuck out of u because they disagreed so thats y you see a lot of mascs talking abt "queer communities reject me for being masculine" without specification. Its just easier to use hypotheticals. But then u get people kind of running a little too far with it and its like ok what the hell did he mean by that nd we get other people to validate it and we come up with shit like transmisandry.

In my experience my gender expression as a like oooh hypermasc trans male it was only conditionally accepted by my immediate community. at the first like... mild discomfort i butted heads with someone then the jig was up because it was very easy to use my expression against me and sensationalize the idea that i "look scary" like people jumped to the conclusion that I was in the wrong because it was easier to admit oh well he's toxic he's overly masculine he's making me uncomfortable than to examine a situation closely and to think damn am I in the wrong here. Like if I was feminine they would have just found any other thing to demonize me because I was a transsexual male in the way.

This is a problem I think in these white college-y queer tumblr agoraphobe communities that really stoke the fire of being terrified of everything, which I do support like making yourself comfortable and dealing with your anxiety about men because you will not be making rational decisions if you just endlessly validate your own anxiety and that's a part of the reason why we still deal with so much transphobic crap in lgbt circles, too many ppl seem to be trying to win a race where they have it the worst and there's no way to get better and here's how they're being victimized by all these other people.

I do agree with getting people to be less neurotic about a fear of men, even tho like in very many cases it is correct! Like im not devaluing anyone's trauma, like I get it men are uniquely fucking demonic and we want spaces where it's like ah fuck now I can breathe. But at some point it really does not help with your own survival at all. to extend this to men that YOU allow into your communities, as well as all masculine expression, including what just you consider masculine which is absolutely not the case like.. You end up sounding and being transphobic, butchphobic, transmisogynistic, all that fun stuff.

Plus like some dudes really will just talk out of their ass and I understand the response is going to be just as gauche like haha what do you mean trans men are ALWAYS accepted for being masculine nobody is EVER going to pressure you into being feminine you suck etc. Like i really dont consider it transphobic to say other people have it worse who aren't men because like... yeah they do LMAO i don't envy any of that shit

my personal interest is management and that's really not gona happen if we r still holding onto a masculine/feminine boys vs girls dichotomy cus lije it really is easy to just see how people look and think that's all there is to it. Like what I consider masculine is going to be very different than what another trans male considers masculine and one lil tribe might have a problem with either one of those things. masculinity and femininity isn't real. Like it's easy to look at it like a kindergartener like grr these trans men with feminine expression are being treated better than me, it's because I'm masculine. Like ok that may be the case but you need to examine it more, are they treating you like shit because you're masc or because they are transphobic? Why are people more comfortable with trans men with feminine traits? How do these feminine men act and talk about themselves around these people? Like a lot of the time when that was the case where I felt like a outsider and it was definitely because I presented and acted masculine it wasn't that simple, it was because I worked with conservatives, it was because I had advantages they didnt, it was because they had a token idea of a trans male in their head that I didn't fit, I didn't let people walk all over me and that made them very fucking uncomfortable. Like it was easy to say it's cause I'm masc and in some ways it was true but A strong reaction doesn't mean oppression and if your community can't handle a masc trans male they probably have a myriad of other fucking issues that you don't have to and should not want to deal with. The beauty of that is like construction and finding new ways.

the point of my masculinity and male positivity posts are to underline that masculinity and manhood are seen as a threat or in direct opposition to queerness, and that often times in order to be seen as queer you have to be partially or wholly feminine or gender neutral, or express your manhood in a feminine or gender neutral way in order to no longer be threatening, invasive, or a problem.

it is very difficult to exist in queer spaces as a hyper masculine person & a man. you're made to feel like you need to walk a tight rope feeling like you're inherently out of place, as if you existing and being masculine or a man in queer spaces makes others uncomfortable inherently.. just know that when i make positivity posts it is to remind us all that masculinity/manhood and queerness are not opposites and that you do not have to be a feminine man or masc person to be viewed/seen/heard as queer.

chasing men, masculine people, and masculinity out of queer spaces isn't helping anyone currently and won't help anyone down the line. please accept masc enbies, butches, bears, and masculine trans men with the same kindness, love, and passion that you do neutral and feminine people. that's the point when i make these kinds of posts. thank u