#this year im also doing the stuffing and mac and cheese

[mariatesstruther]

just made my first from scratch stuffing and yall… i put my mf foot in it

[rosesradio]

🦃

[lunarwildrose]

Happy Easter aka Happy Day of Our Lord and Savior's Resurrection! 🙏🏻🙇🏻‍♀️💗💜💙🤍

I am a bit sick again, but got up in time for church, albeit a little late. I wasn't able to dress up very nice, but I tried. Hard to do laundry with a lack of quarters and such. I am glad I went, though. My first time at church on Easter, I went with Rob @timewillcrawl94. ☺💗💜💙🤍

Yesterday, Micky @octobernocturne got me a nabi sticker 🐈 a cup with a straw 🥤 and a lil red velvet cake 🎂 on a lollipop stick 🍭 from the punk rock flea market. It was yummy! 😋 and today he surprised me and Robi with lil Easter bags, with Cheetos, and Reese's! Yum yum! 😋 im happy cos for some reason I wanted Easter baskets this year. I am a kiddult at heart, heehee. 🐇🐥🧺

Today also happens to be my oldest imaginary son's life-day, he is 5 now. 🥳🎂🍰🧁🍫🍭🎎🎈🎉

I have pics from Animal Crossing of his younger sister's bday on March 20th, the first day of Spring, I meant to upload, but I've been so worn out, I'm behind posts I've been meaning to share with my friends and followers. ^^;

His other sister's bday is later this month, she's his triplet, and the third triplet's bday is in June, another boy too. They weren't born on the same day, but still all in 2018. 🥰 I dunno why, that's just how it happened in my imaginary world and dreams, hehe. ☺💗💜💙🤍

I dunno if I'll ever be a Mumsy in RL, but I'm happy playing pretend with my subconscious. I needa draw my kids, and play with them in The Sims and such too! I wanna add them to our main webcomic series, which is kinda based on me and my brothers, and we've been writing it since about 1998, I guess if prototypes count. ^^;

Karasu is in it too, of course. He's my imaginary SO, and father of our Little Crow Goblins. ♥

I'm tired, so gonna log off. Micky got us a nice dinner for Easter, some stuffing with turkey burger, potatoes, and added mac n cheese at my second youngest lil girl's request (her bday is next month on Android Day, May 12th with her twin brother; after their older brother's bday on the 7th) - i view my kids as parts of my inner child, so I guess I was hoping for mac n cheese too! 😋 🍽🥗🥣🍴🍲

[mottemotte]

Surveys I Stole!!!!!!!

mostly stolen from lyric mwa mwa

tag yourself: what ice cream flavor are you?

made by lady glamcat ⚜️ 

chocolate

() your name begins with c. 

(x) you have a serious sweet tooth.  

() you’re a night owl.  

() you like mystery/thriller movies.  

(x) you have brown eyes. 

() your hobbies include music or art.  

total: 2/6 

vanilla 

() you enjoy taking baths. 

(x) you read romance novels.  

(x) you have stuffed animals.  

(x) you don’t like drama.  

(x) you think you’re boring.  

(x) your bed sheets are white.  

total: 5/6 

neapolitan  

(x) you’re terrible at making decisions.  

(x) you love pop or emo music.  

() you’re wearing three different colors.  

() your favorite number is 3 or contains a 3. 

() you played a sport in school.

() you mix soda flavors together.  

total: 2/6 

 mint chocolate chip 

(x) green is your favorite color.  

() you have an unusual pet. 

(x) you want an electric car.  

(x) you often spend time outside.  

(x) you brush your teeth 3 times a day.  

(x) you enjoy cooking.  

 total: 5/6 

rocky road 

(x) you love rock music.  

() you workout often.  

() you watch reality shows.  

() you collect rocks.  

(x) you’re kind of messy.  

(x) you like vintage things.  

total: 3/6 

result[s]: THE FACT THAT MINT AND VANILLA ARE MY FAVOURITE FLAVORS TOO. ICONIQUE

also im so torn. do ice baths count for vanilla? and what is an unusual pet. ive had turtles, birds, chinchillas, miniature horses, a near-immortal goldfish, hamsters. also tried to keep a bell cricket once but mom said no

random questions survey

made by jody marie ✿

what is your current ringtone?: if i knew how to set my own, itd be everywhere by fleetwood mac, or the intro of kids by mgmt, but alas im fucking stupid so its the generic "retro love" one my phone came with

what is your zodiac sign?: ur gonna have to try harder than that to get my birthday scrub

what are your preferred pizza toppings?: none :,) im like cheese

are you currently single, in a relationship, or married?: LOL ME? MARRIED? im single never dated. i shoot myself in the foot like its a party trick

do you have any pets? if so, how many? (you can include names if you want): 10+ i cant fucking count!!!!

what is your favorite season?: everytime a new season comes i fall in love with it. ah. the beauty of the spring. and the beauty of the coming summer. could you imagine if we were stuck in one forever. h e l l 

how tall are you?: short, but i think im not short enough to be made fun of anymore? i had a mini growth spurt (SOMEHOW?? SO MANY YEARS LATER???? I HIT PUBERTY IN 4TH GRADE) and i learned how to walk in heels nya

what color are your eyes?: guess i kinda outed myself in the last one huh

if you eat salads, what is your preferred salad dressing?: R A N C H but one time i had this rasberry thing that was good but R A N C H

are you a morning person or night owl?: morning dove 🕊️  (i thought that they were morning doves and not mourning doves bc i always saw them when it was just me awake in the morning!!! :,) dude i was so cute)

do you have any tattoos? if so, how many? (you can include what they are of if you want): no and i think if i ever did it would go horribly bc 1. committment issues 2. i have skin issues. 

do you have any piercings? if so, how many? (you can include what kind if you want): can you believe i used to be a pussy about pain!!!! i had my ears pierced as an infant (my bio family had a single visit with me and said fuck it, stab her) and i never wanted to get them pierced again UNTIL NOW and i have no idea where to get them done woooooooo

have you ever broken any bones? if so, what did you break?: never bitch!!!!!!

have you ever had any surgeries? if so, what kind?: ive had idek how many dental surgeries. yes im insecure about my teeth (I LITERALLY SAID I BRUSH 3X A DAY I WASNT JOKING)

do you play video games?: DUH i played the classics like loz and pokemon as a kid, nowadays... still loz (i got that limited edition tri-force 3ds when it came out!!!) and hades but mostly sky. i dont have as much time to play anymore :,)

what is the last thing you had to eat?: leftover pizza woooooo.........................

what is the last thing you had to drink?: ORANGE JUICE

what is the last tv show you watched?: intentionally? no idea. against my will? whatever fbi show my parents watch non-stop.

what is the last movie you watched?: i think the breakfast club? it was a while ago...

what is the last song you listened to?: Two Out of Three Ain't Bad

have you ever had braces?: dude my dentists can never agree - i had a retainer/spacer thing for a while, then new dentist said nonono u need braces, then new dentist said nonono u need this removed asap, now my new-new dentist says if i dont want braces at my age he understands but he recommends braces. CAN YALL JUST-

have you ever dyed your hair?: i have virign hair. 10000% untouched. never trimmed, never dyed, never permed or anything but im thinking abt a perm.... just maybe. but if youve ever seen a photo of a victorian woman w her hair down. my hair is genuinely that texture/appearance, just shorter (still long but not on the floor alas)

have you ever rode in an ambulance?: yes, i actually wanted to be a paramedic for a while and i did a ride-along and my car-sickness said FUCK NO (i almost threw up on so many old people you cant imagine)

chinese, mexican, or italian food? (pick one): ITALIAN ITALIAN ITALIAN ITALIAN ITALIAN ITALIAN

what are your plans for tonight?: im thinking abt watching league of their own? or but im a cheerleader. not sure

what are your plans for this weekend?: fuck-all (actually maybe cleaning. but. e w)

why did your last relationship end?: never dated lol. but part of the reason ive never dated is i live in the middle of nowhere, which u think means slim pickings, but what it really means is every time i see someone whos hot i think ayyyyy and then they talk to me and i find out they wear tinfoil hats in their spare time. (this is why my friendships end. yes i think finding out someone is diet racist is an ok reason to drop them)

have you ever been to any concerts?: i actually dont get the appeal of concerts at all? i hate people who sing over the music. like shut the hell up i didnt pay to hear you!!!!!!

what is the last thing you spent money on?: ice cream for my mom :)

[emptylittlebug]

May 25, 2023

244.4

In: McDonald’s ice coffee, hashbrown, most of a gravy biscuit, vitamins, meds, skipped lunch, 2 pieces of chicken tenderloin, 1/2cup Kraft Mac & cheese

Didn’t get any exercise cause I’m lazy af. I did burn 2,175 cal though according to my Fitbit. Only took 2,739 steps today, that’s sad lmao.

Good news! I got accepted to sell my crochet stuffed animals at a local store today. I’ve really been stressing about it. I’m super excited. I’m already selling at another store and it’s going pretty well. Going to be keeping myself busyyyy lol. 2 stores plus 7 craft shows every year. Plus a full time corporate job. Plus being a single mom to 4 kids. Plus 2 of those kids are special needs. And one of those kids is homeschooled. Anddd being bipolar with adhd and more 😂😂😂

Idk how the hell I am but I’m getting shit done!

Im hoping that I can save enough money in the next 10-12 months to buy a house and also quit my corporate job. I want to do my little business full time. I think I can do it.

I need to cut expenses. I need to eliminate fast food. I’ve got to learn to actually like cooking. It’s absolutely not enjoyable to me. I’d rather scrub toilets than cook a meal… but I need to learn to like it to save money and calories.

[faecaribou]

13, 14, 16, 17, 18, 19, and 20

13. what’s your comfort food?

anything artifical and orange. mac n cheese. orange gatorade. anything artifical orange flavored. caramels. or maybe homemade tacos? omg yeaaasss.... the only way i eat avocados is my own guacamole recipe with lots of garlic powder PLUS you can buy these boxes of taco shells that are those cheese doritos flavor... mmm yeaaassss... with some black beans and the grated cheese and you put them ground beef at the bottom, then the cheese so it melts on the hot meat then tomato then lettuce then guac because the weight of the guac flattens the lettuce so it takes less space... mmmmm you can put the beans wherever but i recommend with the ground beef... warm proteins at the bottom of the taco shell,,,, my family used to own a taco restaurant chain in Virginia called Tippy's tacos and at Tippy's there was this queso with a secret recipe except the queso place stopped making queso and/or were shut down but like. the secret queso recipe... when they shut down we took all the queso mix from the restaurant and our family was like mad fighting over the queso mix because its godly unngngg like i think there was a genuine physical fight but who knows because the guy who owned the restaurant all the kids my age joke hes a murderer and also my family is crazy but talking about my insane family and they shit theyve pulled would be like. a whole nother story. but shout out to my grandma for stealing a cop car when she was 8 and then later marrying a cop. surprisingly the cop is the nicer of the two

14. favorite feel-good show?

Community if its a TV show, I already listed my movies, and to be honest I'm more of a movie person but I think Ive rewatched every Community episode over 3 times. It used to be Malcolm in the Middle but they took that off Netflix like 4 years ago and I'm still mad about that. Also they took BBC Sherlock off Netflix and I was MAD about that. Because I guess Season 1 of BBC Sherlock was also my thing. I have a DVD disk of BBC sherlock season 1. a dvd. im so sorry. i really love S1E3.

16. compliment the person who sent you this number.

I love your art, it's very friend shaped. I am glad we are mutuals. I enjoy seeing you on my dash :)

17. fairy lights or LED lights?

ooh. okay. so at home I have LED lights because I love my blackout curtains and also my desk is beneath my bed, its a loft bed thing except the legs of my loft bed are too long so its like markiplier in college and my face is inches from the ceiling. but in college I have fairy lights because the dorm room light is harsh and evil and my two lamps only provide so much light so I have fairy lights too. must I choose?

18. do you still love stuffed animals?

oh yes yes yes. I still have my lovey (the stuffed animal that you never let go of as a child and definitely chewed on at some point and now it looks like the soul is sucked out of it) except my great grandmother is into sewing so it doesnt look too bad. It gets washed and restuffed and taken care of so it looks worn but good. ive also been like buying WAY too many fruits from Jellycat (look up the website, tumblr has talked about it before but they never drop the name and its like. childrens stuffed animals but also adults stuffed animals.) I have like over 50 webkinz according to my account-WHICH I TOTALLY DONT LOOK AT AHAHAHAHAHAH i mean not NOW that webkinz wants you to have an app plus apparently you need to buy a webkinz each year to keep your account add free which is like woah what- I mean I have a drawer of stuffed animals. it's not bursting at the seams or anything haha : )

19. most important thing in your life?

guy who did my adhd assessment implied that I'm unhealthily codependent on my best friend. but to be fair when i was in middle school I had a reoccurring dream every night for 3 years that she was going to get robbed at gunpoint and I would use myself as a human shield and get shot instead and bleed out in her arms and because it was nearly every night for 3 years I thought it was actually going to happen like a premonition and all it did was cement the idea in my head that she's everything to me. as soon as I accepted my future death the dreams stopped so I guess its not going to happen? but according to the dreams it should happen some time in the next 4? years because the dream said it would happen when im in college. but its fine im fine

20. what do you want most in the world right now?

my best friend- /j um. im not really sure. i dont have anything i ask for for my birthday because im pretty content. I mean sure, the worries of money and also how terribly lonely I am in college because I havent made many new friends in college and also im touchstarved and also my depression aint great and if i could get my adhd meds. but actually i feel pretty content when it comes to needing objects. a tan trenchcoat tho, oh, oh ive been searching for one for 6 years at every goodwill and target i could find. how the FUCK can i not get my hands on a tan trenchcoat in 6 years???? i need to buy online i swear theres a conspiracy against me, i have 3 black trenchcoats, THREE! actually i lost one in color guard but still!! and also a green petticoat that passes as a trenchcoat, but tan?? TAN??? ooh no i cant have that :( ujjuuuuuhghghhnnnnhnn okay replace everything i said before I want a tan trenchcoat and like. a working real iron man suit. also a legal name change to Samuel James Jellison which is neither my legal first, middle, or last name and also apparently like two dudes ever have had this name and theyre both dead so theres no point in looking this name up UNTIL i change my name. But I could be Sammy Jim Jellison, omg,,,

[kakashibestie]

9, 13 and 18 for the soft asks 💕

al thanks ily i hope you’re well ♥

9. what calms you down?

man it’s all changed so much over the years but the One Thing that’s never failed me is writing...esp. journaling. i feel like i can just say whatever and nobody will judge me or call me crazy or anything like that. i feel the most free and at ease while writing even if im falling apart!

13. what’s your comfort food?

instant mac n cheese (kraft) because i have bad taste but also any soup...or all of my dad’s cooking really, he’s just rly good at it and i love eating what he makes for me n my siblings whenever i have the chance

18. do you still love stuffed animals?

YES GOD they’re among my most treasured possessions.

i have a dog plush a preschool friend gave to me as a bday present when i must’ve been like 5. it’s missing one eye because one of the dogs i had growing up ate it...and it’s been through countless movings w/me.

then i also have a build a bear bear i got when i was in brighton (context: i went to england when i was 12 for a competition thing bc i was apparently the person w/the best english in my middle school and that’s why they invited me on that trip in spite of my youth) and i remember buying it bc it the Cheapest Bear in there and i didnt have a lot of money to spend but i’d always always wanted a build a bear bear and my parents wouldnt let me have one bc they were too expensive :// anyway 12yo me said fuck that and i went into that store and purchased the bear but didn’t name it or register it because back then i was super super shy...

and my latest addition to the collection is a reindeer (?) plush i actually found lying on the grass of the empty lot next to my apartment building a few months ago. i saw it from my window and i just felt...horrible for it. there are a bunch of kids living in my building and im pretty sure one of them must’ve dropped it but i just felt so bad i ran downstairs and out of my building to go retrieve it. it wasn’t too dirty but i still put it in the washing machine and added some fabric softener so it smelled nice and now it lives in my bed with its two companions :’)

soft asks to get to know people

[fizzyhosh]

tagged by @kabeswaters !!!! love u big time

1. on a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about life right now? .... 3

2. describe yourself in a hashtag? #onedirectionstan

3. if you could do a love scene with anyone, who would it be? gross Harry Styles

4. if your life was a musical, what would the marquee say? get ready for disappointment but the good thing is one direction would be to my musical as abba is to mamma mia

5. what’s one thing people don’t know about you? i have strong ambitions but they are outweighed by executive dysfunction so lots of adults like teachers just think I'm lazy 🤪🥴

6. what’s your wake up ritual? currently it's get up at 2pm, look at discord, snapchat, and instagram, then eat some gosh darn food

7. what’s your go to bed ritual? this is so unhealthy I know grab a snack and a soda and scroll mindlessly on social media until I get tired, get up and brush my teeth, go back to my bed and put on my sleep playlist (called sleeby) and set a time so it stops playing after I fall asleep

8. what’s your favorite time of day? despite the fact that I get up in the afternoon, it's actually like 10am that's a goooood time

9. your go to for having a good laugh? I look up Niall Horan laugh complications it genuinely works every time

10. dream country to visit? Germany or Italy

11. what’s the biggest surprise you’ve ever had? my 19th birthday my roommates had a surprise party for me and I was so shocked and almost cried bc it was so sweet and bc made me anxious

12. heels or flats/sneakers? I thought that said heelys :(( but sneakers

13. vintage or new? vintaaaage

14. who do you want to write your obituary? uh idk hopefully none of my current family bc I don't want to die before them cause that'll mean I die young??? this question is making me overthink so I'm just gonna say Ewan Gregor and move on

15. style icon? this chick named mathilda on Instagram you might have seen her on insta or Pinterest she's a redhead but her style is brilliant

16. what are three things you cannot live without? music, dr. pepper, eggos

17. what’s one ingredient you put in everything? I sound so white but SALT I salt the heck outta everything

18. what 3 people living or dead would you want to make dinner for? Steve Irwin, Harry Styles, Freddie Mercury

19. what’s your biggest fear in life? dying while I'm taking a shower and having my family find my naked, wet, dead body falling out of love. which makes me not want to fall IN love bc then the chance of falling OUT of love becomes a possibility

20. window or aisle seat? window window window window window

21. what’s your current tv obsession? not really obsessed with anything rn but I rewatch new girl every chance I get

22. favorite app? instagram

23. secret talent? I can wiggle my ears

24. most adventurous thing you’ve ever done in your life? i flew to New Orleans during a break with two of my friends bc they found $60 round trip tickets. We bought the tickets the day before. We literally got to NOLA at 7am and left 8pm the next day. only spontaneous/adventurous thing i have ever done

25. how would you define yourself in three words? funny, understanding, quiet

26. favorite piece of clothing you own? my overalls :'))

27. a must have clothing item that everyone should have? a jean jacket !! looks good on anyone and with anything and they're so cute

28. a superpower you would want? to make people see themselves as their loved ones see them

29. what’s inspiring you in life right now? music I'm fixated on one direction and harry styles and louis tomlinson rn of you cant tell by a lot of my answers

30. best piece of advice you’ve received? don't apologize because you like something. don't be embarrassed that you have preferences

31. best advice you’d give your teenage self? be unapologetically you. life is too short to feel guilty for having opinions.

32. a book everyone should read? me and earl and the dying girl

33. what would you like to be remembered for? being kind to all

34. how do you define beauty? kindness, humor, a sweet soul makes a beautiful person

35. what do you love most about your body? I think I'm proportional? like... my size and shape... I hate how that sounds but my overall body ,,,,,,,

36. best way to take a rest/decompress? crack open and nice cold soda and put on headphones and lay on the ground (it makes me back feel better)

37. favorite place to view art? art galleries the environment and ambiance is immaculate

38. if your life was a song, what would the title be? Everything is Outta Reach cause I fail a lot but also I'm sHORT

39. if you could master one instrument, what would it be? pianoooo

40. if you had a tattoo, where would it be? I want my forearms to be filled with random little doodle tattoos I get over time (picture louis tomlinsons right arm, like the "oops!" and skateboard, and dumb things like that)

41 dolphins or koalas? KOALAS

42. what’s an animal that represents you? .....koala. also chameleon...

43. best gift you’ve ever received? so I need to be hugging a pillow or stuffed animals to sleep and I lost some stuffed animals that I loved and were huge and my go to for hugging at night and that Christmas my brother got me a huge elephant and a body pillow to replace them and I actually cried

44. best gift you’ve given? im really bad at giving gifts but my brother searches everywhere for this book in specific print and language and after years I found one and got it for him for Christmas. he's not good at showing appreciation and excitement but I could tell that he was stoked

45. what’s your favorite board game? BETRAYL AT THE HOUSE ON THE HILL it's so complicated and so good and I love it so much

46. what’s your favorite color? yellow and red

47. least favorite color? o r a n g e I just realized it's between red and yellow make it make sense

48. diamond or pearls? diamonds

49. drugstore makeup or designer? drugstore! I don't wear makeup often enough to spend money on designer but occasionally I get some good stuff from ulta then immediately regret it and go back to my Walgreens makeup HAHA

50. pilates or yoga? yoga

51. coffee or tea? I don't drink either but I like the aesthetic of tea more

52. what’s the weirdest word in the english language? pneumonoultrascopicsiliconvolcanoconoiosos because it's the longest word in the English dictionary and it's has a very specific definition and it's so extra when I was 7 i had a friend who could spell it forwards and backwards

53. dark chocolate or milk chocolate? milk!! I only like dark chocolate if it's reisens

54. stairs or elevators? stairs I'm afraid of elevators

55. summer or winter? summer

56. you are stuck on an island, you can pick one food to eat forever without getting tired of it, what would you eat? mac and cheese

57. a dessert you don’t like? uhhhh... umm... uh... anything with tree nuts cause I'm allergic??? I love dessert

58. a skill you’re working on mastering? I'm learning guitar !!

59. best thing to happen to you today? I woke up before 2pm

60. worst thing to happen to you today? my family all decided to a be in a bad mood today so that's super exciting to deal with :))))))

61. best compliment you’ve ever received? that I'm a really good listener

62. favorite smell? candles right after they're blown out and the air outside when it's cold. it has a smell. it DOES.

63. hugs or kisses? hugs

64. if you made a documentary, would it be about? the one direction boys' solo careers and eventual reunion when it happens

65. last piece of content you consumed that made you cry? if that includes music, louis tomlinsons album walls. but if not, ehm the martian that movie makes me cry don't come for me

66. lipstick or lipgloss? lipstick

67. sweet or savory? savory

68. girl crush? lily james

69. how do you know you’re in love? I've been trying to figure that out... I think it's when everything reminds you of them and you can completely be yourself around them and feel a sense of home and belonging.

70. a song you can listen to on repeat? greyhound by calpurnia or baby driver by simon and garfunkel

71. if you could switch lives with someone for a day, who would it be? h a r r y s t y l e s I have questions I need answered and I wanna hear unreleased HS and 1D music

72. what are you most excited for/about this time in your life? going back to school so I can be with my best friend slash future boyfriend

tagging: @lupinlongbottom @outerlacy @fortisfiliae @theseuscmander @wizardwritings

[brinesystem]

list, tw

I saw this on someone else’s blog (im not saying names cause idk if its okay to share that info? it was public but still) and it uh

It looked like a good way to kinda, like, have a bit less doubt? or a way to remind myself of whats happening and why i think i have this? idk

Might be triggering so like probs scroll past or something

‘the moods’ existed before i knew about did/osdd

I used to describe them as “it feels like half me, but also half somebody else”

I argue and talk with my own thoughts

Sometimes I talk/argue /aloud/ with my own thoughts

I have to actively fight to /convince/ Fae to talk to people, else he wont. and even when he does, its not how i want it to sound

I cant remember most of my childhood

The /bad/ middle school was when i was either 9 or 10

I knew too much about sex when i was much too young (7, 8)

I get ages wrong (i was 6 in cali, not 8. why do i think it was 8?)

I had a dream about getting raped when I was in elementary school. I didnt fight back. I didnt feel anything at all

I used to hide under desks

I hated my therapist. Its now fear. I dont remember what it was back then

I forget memories I recall, and if I force them back, everything hurts, even if theyre not traumatic

I often forget that I used to forget bad things that happened to me.

Other sex dreams from elementary school

The csa I /do/ remember (freshman). Why did i seek that out. Why did it seem like a good plan

I used to forget conversations daily

I drew myself (sebastian, older brother, nicer) before I knew i was trans. I dont have many memories from before I came out/knew i was trans. (am i an alter?)

Used to daydream for hours due to nerves. Disocciating?

The bathroom incident (middle school. 9 - 10)

How old are you? “16″ i reply this randomly when i am 23. when i was 21. Even when I know I am not

The HS trauma that happened right

I don’t have triggers for my trauma, except sometimes i /do/

Hypersexual, but only /sometimes/

I’m an adult! Except sometimes when my body is much too big and I am much too tall and I only want to curl up and be left /alone/. Except when i am small and fragile and want to have stuffed animals around me and play animal crossing. Except then.

Opinions keep changing, but to set differing ones. (Fashion sense, humor, hobbies, aesthetics)

Scared of dad! Not scared of dad. Pity dad. Could kill dad. Scared of dad! Not s-

Handwriting/Art/Writing style changes a lot (fluctuates between set stops)

Randomly gains accents and loses them. Only happens with two accents even though I know many

Stims change depending on Mood

Cant recognize myself in the mirror, but ideal keeps changing in set patterns (soft lumberjack, fae prince, cutesy, fashionable andro, suited devil)

Fave colors, songs, movies change in set patterns

Numb sensations to VERY INTENSE sensations. Cannot predict

Edible food changes depending on mood, even including safe foods (mac n cheese vs mussels vs ramen, etc)

What is this emotion? idk

Who am i? idk

I know I was bullied. Don’t remember why I know

Trying to think about my childhood makes me panic or get a headache

Super depressed after mental break ; Suddenly snapped out of it emotionally

That one time I slept for 3 days straight

Posture and walk cycle keeps changing

Gets songs stuck in my head that I’m not thinking about

Gets songs stuck in my head that i can’t even hear

Remembers things with no context given (the movie. “which movie” i dont know. “what was it about? who was in it? what was the title? what did it look like?” i dont know)

Bad sense of time, but like, days/hours can = months/years

“so mature for my age”

The Moods can be triggered into appearing, but not always by things I relate to them (ie; Kos and Fae)

Personality test results keep changing. All of them

False memories (the cliff, talking to the old woman about marriage, who knows what else)

Caught off guard by my own thoughts and even words I say (”sehb is gonna be mad at me for this, lol” “ACRRRRRYLICS”)

Most of my childhood memories are actually photos or stories ive heard

That dissociative test where I scored in the middle, but closer to DID than OSDD

Opinion on myself and my own looks varies

Opinion on my past varies

I dont recognize my own voice sometimes (is it changing? or is it my perception?)

Numb regarding pain, but then hypersensitive to it later

Numb regarding loss, skips straight to acceptance

Cant shiver normally, but sometimes can even when its not cold

Cant feel hunger normally, but sometimes can?

Favorite season and holidays change (summer, beach! autumn, cool air! halloween! no, valentines day!)

I dont feel connected to my family except my mum and maybe my youngest sister. These were /choices/ I made

Empathy? Dont know her. Except when I randomly start crying when others are sad, which always comes at different times but similar Moods

Cares about appearance one day, couldnt care less the next

Fave jacket: Green denim! Nope, today fave jacket: Grey hoodie! Nope, today f-

Headaches. So many headaches

More headaches when dealing with trauma

I doubt myself and worry I’m lying. Liars wouldnt do that, right?

Known to dissociate

Forget things mid sentence

Used ‘we’ when talking about myself at random before considering OSDD

Cant dream, except when I can and they dont feel like /mine/

Used to speak aloud with myself practicing words. Was I alone? idk

Loves animals. One of the Moods doesnt care at all about animals, even Wander

Loves video games. One of the moods detests video games

Loves horror games. Randomly feels intense fear from horror games

I know i was bullied, i know dad didnt come home on xmas, i know i moved a lot, i know i was in dc during 9/11, the ocean incident, the doctor incidents, I vaguely recall M(on base friend with older brother) and how she treated me (broke my glasses), i know i had a horrible time during that one year of middle school even though I only remember Two Moments (bathrooms, trailer) but I don’t necessarily have the memories of all of the things I know I dealt with

Memories are like snapshots or still moments, and dont continue

Memories I know effected me emotionally, I feel detached from now, except when i’m randomly Not (the koi, the caterpillar, not punching dad, etc)

Didn’t have friends until second year of middle school, those friends were bad, so were the hs friends

Ignored most things that happened but would randomly become enraged at smaller things that happened to me

The time on base I thought all adults driving by were pedophiles (i was 7. 8. why did i think that. why did i want to goad them? what was wrong with me??)

Keep forgetting memories like 81, but when I remember them theyre hard to get out of my head

“you acted so differently as a kid, what happened”

The Tics in response to stress

Was good at the doctors and then suddenly wasnt at all. Now am afraid

Was fine with bugs and then suddenly wasnt. Now am afraid

The fact that I dont remember typing ‘at all’ on 85

Lost old friend. Didnt mourn, still get a queasy feeling when I think about her/am reminded of her, but not upset or sad usually

Can connect most of the Moods to triggers, traumas, or coping methods, including myself

Reaction to trauma changed literally overnight

Used to love being tickled, now makes me panic (fight/flight)

Can feel when the Moods take something they see into themselves (was told this is normal. i am not faking this, at the very least)

I dont like lying. Fae doesnt/cant lie. Luci /enjoys/ lying.

Used to think solely in images. Now think solely in words.

Can sometimes hear thoughts before i think them, but only my own

Randomly gets worse coordination in turns with moods, and then gains it back after

Too trusting, but then gets in a mood and doubts even my closest friends

People keep telling me what im describing sounds like osdd, even friends who have met some of the Moods

I have an easier time remembering some things when I’m in different Moods

Used to have more amnesia before I started recognizing the Moods (was that me switching out?)

[zouisalmightie]

hello love i have several questions;;; 2, 5, 6, 8, 12, 13, 14, 18, and 20!!

hello i love you.

2 what’s your feel-good movie? i did this one but ive got so many. okay, RENT i watch this when i wonna sing when i wonna cry when im in love it’s the best thing that was ever created.

5 who do you feel most you around? honestly and truthfully? myself. but also my best friend since high school.

6 say three nice things about yourself (three physical and three non-physical). wtf.... that is six not three!! but umm. my boobs are amazing. i have a great smile? i.... am aesthetically pleasing to the eye. and also im v funny and smart and i like to think that im kind 😊

8 tag someone (or multiple people) who make you feel good. @sandiazucar 😘 @homoerotic-subtexts 🐛 @monerekho (she not on here no more bish come back) @jimmytfallon @thepeacering @catchjadedreamer @aliensyndrome tere’s a lot more people but i always feel awkward tagging folks rip

12 how are you? not great!! but it’ll be okay.

13 what’s your comfort food? my grandmas mac and cheese. and also indian food.

14 favorite feel-good show? law and order svu, which isn’t feel good topics but ​mariska hartigay is the loml

18 do you still love stuffed animals? idk about love like i don’t go out and buy them but ive got like 3 on my bed that ive had for years.

20 what do you want most in the world right now? honestly? for myself to be fit, not skinny, but i wonna run a mile and not feel like im about to d*e. for the world is the fall of capitalism and the rise of a new era.

send me soft asks!!!

[lovemesomesurveys]

[1.] Have you ever fallen in the toilet when you were little?: Lol probably. [2.] Do you know anybody who is having a baby?: No. [3.] Who are you IMing right at this moment?: No one. The only messengers I have are Facebook Messenger and the one on here, neither of which I’ve used in a long time.  [4.] Where was your default picture taken?: In my room. [5.] Is your bedroom clean?: It’s a little cluttered, which I hate. I just can’t work up the energy or motivation to go through and get rid of some stuff.

[6.] How about your car?: I don’t have a car. [7.] Have you ever had a brush with the law?: No. [8.] You just got hired to create new sundaes..what do you make?: I have no idea. [9.] What is the best kind of Mac & Cheese?: My brother makes mac and cheese from scratch with the baked bread crumbs on top and it’s really good. [10.] What are you listening to right now?: A YouTube video. [11.] Who was your best friend in 5th grade?: Amanda. We were friends up until a few years ago when I just fell off the grid and became distant and withdrawn from everyone. :/ [12.] Do you get seasick?: I’ve only been on a boat once, well twice total there and back, and it was to get across to an island where we were touring an old well known prison. It was like a 20 minute or so boat ride and I got motion sickness. I couldn’t do a cruise. Well, that’s one of the reasons. I’m also just terrified of being out in the middle of the ocean surrounded by nothing but water. I can’t swim and deep water scares me. They sound fun; though, if I could get past all that. ha. [13.] How about carsick?: Yes. [14.] What is your favorite breakfast item?: Scrambled eggs with shredded cheese and spinach. Country gravy on top is even better. Hash browns, too. [15.] Do you sleep with any stuffed animals?: I have a few on my bed. I don’t cuddle with them or anything if that’s what you mean. [16.] Does anybody hate you?: Probably. I hate me. [17.] What is your favorite beverage of choice?: Coffee. [18.] Are you overweight?: No. I’m underweight.  [19.] What was the first Beanie Baby you ever got?: Pfft, I don’t remember. That was forever ago. [20.] Do you remember the first CDs you ever got?: Backstreet Boys, NSYNC, Britney Spears, and Aaron Carter are a few of the first ones I remember having. [21.] What is your favorite number?: 8. [22.] Who is your favorite Oldies band?: I like a lot of older bands and artists. [23.] Are you a good student?: I got A’s and B’s. [24.] Do you subscribe to any magazines?: Nope. [25.] Can you keep a spoon on your nose?: Probably not.  [26.] What is your favorite farm animal?: Horses. [27.] Do you lie to your parents in order to get your way?: I can’t say that I never have. [28.] Do you like to play Monopoly?: Yeah. I haven’t played in a long time, though. I kinda want to play now. [20.] What is your favorite type of chocolate?: White chocolate. [30.] Have you ever been to a club? Which one(s)?: Once. I didn’t enjoy it. [31.] What is the most fun restaurant you have ever been to?: Bubba Gump is cool. I like all the Forest Gump memorabilia and how the waiters ask you trivia questions about the movie.  [32.] Do you prefer fried or roasted chicken?: Fried in the form of chicken tenders or boneless chicken wings. I don’t like chicken on the bone. [33.] Do you like your coffee hot or iced?: Hot. [34.] Do you remember which band Flavor Flav came from?: Public Enemy. [35.] What does your name mean?: “To be crowned.” [36.] What internet provider do you use?: At&t. [37.] Broccoli, potatoes, or corn on the cob..which one do you choose?: I like all 3, except I’d have corn not on the cob. [38.] What is your desktop background?: Alexander Skarsgard. [39.] Do you have a significant other?: No. [40.] What is the wallpaper on your phone?: My lock screen is Alexander Skarsgard and my home screen is a photo my brother took at Disneyland of the castle and a statute of Walt Disney and Mickey Mouse. It was taken at night, so the castle was all lit up and it’s a really pretty photo. [41.] Have you ever stayed overnight in the hospital?: Yeah. I’ve stayed a few weeks to a few months.  [42.] What size bra do you wear?: 36B. [43.] Do you drive an automatic or a standard?: I don’t drive at all. [44.] Do you have a ceiling fan in your room?: Yes. [45.] What color is the floor in your bedroom?: Beige. [46.] What kind of car does your mom drive?: A Honda. [47.] What is the best kind of donut?: Glazed and maple.  [48.] Who was your favorite Sesame Street character?: I didn’t really have a favorite. [49.] What about Muppet?: Didn’t have a favorite of those either. [50.] How was this survey?: It was fine.

[eldritchsurveys]

683.

[1.] Have you ever fallen in the toilet when you were little?: >> I assume not, that seems like something I’d remember if so. [2.] Do you know anybody who is having a baby?: >> No. [3.] Who are you IMing right at this moment?: >> No one. [4.] Where was your default picture taken?: >> I don’t have a default photo on tumblr. The only place online that I have an actual photo of myself as a profile pic is facebook, and that photo was taken in the VRBO in New Orleans this past October. [5.] Is your bedroom clean?: >> It’s clean, but it could be tidier. My executive function’s been wonky lately, and the fact that half the reason for clutter is a lack of dedicated places to put shit isn’t helping.

[6.] How about your car?: >> --- [7.] Have you ever had a brush with the law?: >> Sure. [8.] You just got hired to create new sundaes..what do you make?: >> I don’t want to make new sundaes, and whoever hired me is an idiot. [9.] What is the best kind of Mac & Cheese?: >> Baked, with multiple kinds of cheese, and spicy panko or some other kind of breading on top. There should be a spice element somewhere in it, if not the breading. [10.] What are you listening to right now?: >> Nothing. There’s plenty of environmental noise, though, because that’s life. [11.] Who was your best friend in 5th grade?: >> --- [12.] Do you get seasick?: >> Nah. [13.] How about carsick?: >> Nope. The only times I’ve been motion-sick is after this one Luna Park ride, and a couple of times on Megabus when I lived in NYC and had grown unused to long rides in vehicles. Even then I was just vaguely nauseous for a little while, not like, sick-sick. [14.] What is your favorite breakfast item?: >> I don’t know, I’ve never given it much thought. I just eat veggie burgers and chips for my first meal of the day, even though that’s not a typical breakfast food. It’s easy and habitual and delicious, and that’s all that matters. [15.] Do you sleep with any stuffed animals?: >> I sleep with like twelve stuffed animals. [16.] Does anybody hate you?: >> I don’t know, but it’s always possible. [17.] What is your favorite beverage of choice?: >> *shrug* [18.] Are you overweight?: >> I don’t know, I assume not. [19.] What was the first Beanie Baby you ever got?: >> --- [20.] Do you remember the first CDs you ever got?: >> Yeah, it was Something Like Human by Fuel and I stole it from Walmart. [21.] What is your favorite number?: >> 9 / 19. [22.] Who is your favorite Oldies band?: >> I don’t have one, I’m fond of a lot of old people music. [23.] Are you a good student?: >> --- [24.] Do you subscribe to any magazines?: >> Yeah, GameInformer through GameStop’s PowerUp membership thing. Also, every time we go to FYE we get offered that Backstage Pass reward club thing, and it comes with like a few months’ worth of subscription to three magazines. You can cancel the membership before the first time you get charged, and still get the magazines (yeah, I don’t know why that works either, or why they let you sign up multiple times if you’re just going to cancel without being charged...). We were at FYE in December so we’re still getting magazines from that. Fuck it, free magazines. [25.] Can you keep a spoon on your nose?: >> Doubtful. [26.] What is your favorite farm animal?: >> I don’t have one. Sheep are cute? [27.] Do you lie to your parents in order to get your way?: >> --- [28.] Do you like to play Monopoly?: >> No. [20.] What is your favorite type of chocolate?: >> I only like dark chocolate. [30.] Have you ever been to a club? Which one(s)?: >> No. [31.] What is the most fun restaurant you have ever been to?: >> Hmm... I’m not sure. I can’t recall having ever been to, like, a themed restaurant or anything. [32.] Do you prefer fried or roasted chicken?: >> Fried. [33.] Do you like your coffee hot or iced?: >> Hot. [34.] Do you remember which band Flavor Flav came from?: >> Sure. Also, they’ve been in pop culture news lately because of some beef between Chuck D and Flavor Flav, so it’s like, fresh in my mind. [35.] What does your name mean?: >> I’m not entirely sure. For all I know, it might have been invented by whoever wrote them King Arthur stories. [36.] What internet provider do you use?: >> Xfinity (so, Comcast). [37.] Broccoli, potatoes, or corn on the cob..which one do you choose?: >> Broccoli. [38.] What is your desktop background?: >> Surprise! It’s an Interstellar shot again. I swear, I have other wallpapers, I just have multiple Interstellar ones so the probability that that’s what’s going to be up on shuffle when I’m taking a survey is high. [39.] Do you have a significant other?: >> I have several. [40.] What is the wallpaper on your phone?: >> The lock screen is some Frollo art I got off tumblr and the home screen is still Quentin Oliver Lee as the Phantom of the Opera. Damn, it’s been a full year since that show. [41.] Have you ever stayed overnight in the hospital?: >> Yes. [42.] What size bra do you wear?: >> --- [43.] Do you drive an automatic or a standard?: >> I don’t drive. [44.] Do you have a ceiling fan in your room?: >> Nope. [45.] What color is the floor in your bedroom?: >> Tan. [46.] What kind of car does your mom drive?: >> --- [47.] What is the best kind of donut?: >> I prefer either glazed from Krispy Kreme, or apple cider from any nearby orchard. [48.] Who was your favorite Sesame Street character?: >> I don’t recall ever having one. [49.] What about Muppet?: >> ^ [50.] How was this survey?: >> It did the job.

[critical--veins]

Answer all the get to know me questions :)

oh jeez tht’s so many I’m sorry u all have to scroll past this but I’ll do it for u anon 

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

I genuinely don’t even remember my hands r lonely

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

SO SHY3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

my familyyyy & best friend when I go home for spring break :)4. Are you easy to get along with?

yah man I’m chill with everyone5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

yes ! (I hope)6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

I like ppl who are genuine & kind!7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

nooooo (I wish but no)8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

this boy I’ve been talking to on & off cause he wants to see me when I come home :)) 9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

not usually I guess it depends who it’s with tho10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

my friend paulina last night at 2am after getting back from a party lol11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

“yah girl what’s up”12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

quixoticelixer- red hot chili peppers

hello euphoria- turnover

all my friends- knocked loose

hurt- trophy eyes

control- citizen 13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

UH HUHHH 14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

I mean this is an interesting question bc in the universe things happen that seem lucky or miraculous but are just due to chance so in a way yes, but NO15. What good thing happened this summer?

I met my family in honduras for the first time & they were so amazing16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

ooooh this questions fun idk maybe!17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

ABSOLUTELY18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

nope19. Do you like bubble baths?

hell yah soak me up 20. Do you like your neighbors?

my across the hall neighbors in my dorm building are mean21. What are you bad habits?

NEVER LEAVING MY BED22. Where would you like to travel?

alaskaaaaa I wanna hike around denali 23. Do you have trust issues?

a little24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

GOING THE FUCK TO SLEEP25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

all26. What do you do when you wake up?

sigh rlly dramatically27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

I wish I had pretty pale skin, but I like being tan too! so both28. Who are you most comfortable around?

my little sister29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

nope30. Do you ever want to get married?

OH YES SO BAD31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?

yes!32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

Harry Styles for sure, Awsten Knight from waterparks is also v dreamy33. Spell your name with your chin.

L.JCYH (mood) 34. Do you play sports? What sports?

I used to be a cheerleader !! (I competed so miss me with that not a sport shit) 35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

TV36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

OH YES37. What do you say during awkward silences?

I don’t break awkward silences bc IM AWKWARD38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

someone smart! also just someone who can be chill all the time I hate fights & pettiness so like idk just be chill39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

I luv going into furniture & decor shops like home goods or kirklands lol 40. What do you want to do after high school?

 I’m in college rn studying to be a conservation biologist!

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

no some people are genuinely bad42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

usually nothing bc I’m always quiet lol43. Do you smile at strangers?

yeah sometimes!44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

space 100%, I wanna see the earth from outer space I think that would be the most life changing experience!!45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

fuckin class I need to earn my degree46. What are you paranoid about?

never finding the love of my life 47. Have you ever been high?

yah like once lol48. Have you ever been drunk?

oh yeah49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

nah50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

grey!51. Ever wished you were someone else?

every FUCKING day52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

one thing?53. Favourite makeup brand?

I dont rlly have one! but I guess I use a lot of it cosmetics 54. Favourite store?

there’s this record store called the sound garden & I used to go to it in baltimore all the time cause I live like an hour from there, THEN I FOUND OUR THEIR OTHER LOCATION IS IN SYRACUSE WHERE I GO TO SCHOOL so like idk I love that store cause it’s my lil home connection

55. Favourite blog?

too many! ily all56. Favourite colour?

green :)57. Favourite food? 

MAC & CHEESE TILL I DIE58. Last thing you ate?

toaster waffles I didn’t even toast I just microwaved bc I’m lazy59. First thing you ate this morning?

the toaster waffles60. Ever won a competition? For what?

yeah I’ve won a photography contest & a poetry contest, and I got second in an art show for my dorm lol61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

I was suspended in the 6th grade for telling a boy I wanted to punch him in the face lmaoooo 62. Been arrested? For what?

nooo63. Ever been in love? 

I don’t think so 64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

fucking awful cause it was new years eve so I knew it was coming but I didn’t rlly want to, so the nerves just built & built the whole night so yeah not good not good at all65. Are you hungry right now?

nahh66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

ya’ll don’t talk to me (the ones that do I luv u)67. Facebook or Twitter?

twitter68. Twitter or Tumblr?

both!69. Are you watching tv right now?

no70. Names of your bestfriends? 

maddie & brandon71. Craving something? What?

affection always72. What colour are your towels?

blue72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

373. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

nah74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

I don’t think I have any anymore75. Favourite animal?

BEARS I WANT A BEAR TATTOOED ON ME RN76. What colour is your underwear?

dark grey77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

chocolate78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

cookie dough every time79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

black 80. What colour pants?

no pants! all day long!81. Favourite tv show?

friends is one of my faves, but I also rlly love rick & morty which is a lil embarrassing but it’s the best

82. Favourite movie?

ya know I don’t rlly have a fav movie83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

mean girls84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

mean girls85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

the goth bitch janis 86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

crush the sea turtle is the best character87. First person you talked to today?

a BOYyyyy who I’m rlly into 88. Last person you talked to today?

my friend paulina!89. Name a person you hate?

lol this girl me & my friend just started going out with, she’s so awful & we’re trying to figure out how to cut her off without being mean :/ 90. Name a person you love?

my parents91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

myself?92. In a fight with someone?

nope93. How many sweatpants do you have?

I have like 5 pairs 94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

TOO MANy95. Last movie you watched?

I watched nerve but I didn’t rlly like it lol96. Favourite actress?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯97. Favourite actor?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯98. Do you tan a lot?

not rlly but I tan easily so I don’t have to99. Have any pets?

I HAVE 3 CATS & THEY’RE ANGELS100. How are you feeling?

sleepyyyy101. Do you type fast?

yah 102. Do you regret anything from your past?

yes103. Can you spell well?

I tell myself I can but actually probably not104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

yeah my friend from last year who I kinda drifted apart from I miss her a lot105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

yeah106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

yes whoops 107. Have you ever been on a horse?

YEAH I LOVE TRAIL RIDES 108. What should you be doing?

writing my speech for my public presentations class & studying lol109. Is something irritating you right now?

no110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

yeah 111. Do you have trust issues?

a little112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

I mean my friend emily but I was laugh crying113. What was your childhood nickname?

 my friends in middle school called me Lulu lmaooo 114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

yeah I go to school out of state!115. Do you play the Wii?

no I used to tho116. Are you listening to music right now?

yah dude listening to being as an ocean rn 117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

yup118. Do you like Chinese food?

I fuckin LOVEEE chinese

119. Favourite book?

idk I haven’t read for pleasure in a rlly long time 120. Are you afraid of the dark?

yes lol121. Are you mean?

no I try to be kind as fuck122. Is cheating ever okay?

noooOoOooo123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

nOOOOOOO124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

NOOOOOOOOOO125. Do you believe in true love?

yah I want to126. Are you currently bored?

yesssss127. What makes you happy?

sunday phone calls with my parents128. Would you change your name?

nah my names pretty unique I’ve never rlly met another Lucy 129. What your zodiac sign?

leo!130. Do you like subway?

yah subways dank131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

uhhhhhhh idk that’d be weird132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

my friend Paulina 133. Favourite lyrics right now?

”when I sit alone come get a little known but I need more than myself this time”

snow by rhcp is like one of my fav songs of all time & I just love that line idk 134. Can you count to one million?

who would ever135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

I DON’T LIE TO PPL BITCH136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

closed ew wtf who sleeps with their door open137. How tall are you?

4′10138. Curly or Straight hair?

curlyyyy139. Brunette or Blonde?

brunette140. Summer or Winter?

summer absolutely141. Night or Day?

BOTH 142. Favourite month?

I like may cause the weather is nice & also I get to go homeee143. Are you a vegetarian?

no I’ve given up meat for a while tho & it wasn’t bad! also I eat vegan some days just bc I like doing it but I love mac & cheese too much for that shit (I know vegan mac & cheese exists but easy mac) 144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

milk145. Tea or Coffee?

tea146. Was today a good day?

I didn’t leave my bed so yah147. Mars or Snickers?

snickers148. What’s your favourite quote?

anything carl sagan has said ever I fucking love him but one of my faves is from pale blue dot that says

”The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of this pixel on the scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner, how frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that, in glory and triumph, they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot.”149. Do you believe in ghosts?

idk I’ve never had a ghost experience but I like the idea of it so sure150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

“The plant cell typically consists of a more or less rigid cellwall and a protoplast.”

It’s the textbook for my plant evolution class lmaooo 

tht deadass just took me so long lol thanks for occupying me for like an hour

[muffinsnotebook]

Mac n Cheese pt. 3

oh wow, it’s really been a long time since my last update hahahuhu im so sorry. i also took a while before i posted it here too. (it’s on ao3, in case you’re a new reader)

pt. 1 pt. 2

Chapter 3: Waffles in Winter

Jimin pouts the entire time Seokjin takes tucking the three of them into bed. It’s a queen size, pushed to the far wall, with a bedside table propping the nightlight, and Jeongguk’s milk bottles, and whatever toys could fit. The rest of the toys are scattered all over the floor, where the toy box by the foot of the bed can’t hold them any more. A large wooden dresser holds their clothes - some spilling from half shut drawers - and a small bookshelf housing more foam blocks than children’s books, stands beside the tall window. It had taken an entire day to move all the children’s stuff into Seokjin’s guest bedroom, but he’s just relieved to have enough room for them all.

“Jimin-ah, we had a deal,” Seokjin reminds him. “I let you have a shorter nap time, and you guys agreed to go to bed earlier in exchange.”

Jeongguk wriggles on his side of the bed, next to the wall, tossing and turning under the covers before flopping down at last, yawning widely, “Milk pwease!” Seokjin pauses, quickly fixing him his milk bottle while Jeongguk impatiently makes grabby hands.

Taehyung watches his younger brother practically chug his milk with amusement, mimicking the way he sucks loudly with his lips puckered exaggeratedly. Seokjin and Jeongguk laugh, the former nearly tripping over a stuffed elephant on the ground.

Still, Jimin huffs testily. “But I’m not sleepy!” He whines, but then his lips wobble, and he lets out a yawn of his own. Seokjin smirks, carefully picking his way through the few other toys scattered on the floor, picking up dirty laundry as he goes.

“Well then you’ll just have to keep lying down until you do feel sleepy,” He says with finality. “Alright, lights out, kiddos. Good night.”

“Good night, Uncle Jin. Sweet dreams.” The three chorus in reply, even Jimin who says it with a bit more sulk.

“Sweet dreams. See you tomorrow.”

Jeongguk is first to conk out, as usual, his white jammies already riding up his stomach. Taehyung is quick to curl his arms around Jimin, and most nights, Jimin is grateful for the extra warmth and comfort that sends him effortlessly into Dreamland, but tonight isn’t most nights. In all honesty, it hasn’t been most nights for the past few nights. These nights, Jimin dreads sleeping - where his dreams are more nightmares, not of spiders or monsters, but of the cold, barren darkness from before.

But the worst parts are the bright flashing lights, loud noises and breaking glass, mommy screaming for daddy–

Jimin wakes up with a small cry. A familiar chilliness settles in his belly, but not even Taehyung’s hugs can keep it away. Jimin clambers off the bed, placing Poby the Polar Bear in Taehyung’s arms instead. Silently, he crawls over to sit in front of the window, peeking up at the sky.

Tonight, the moon is only half out, but there are thick clouds in the way, and Jimin can’t see even the stars. It’s dark, and the nightlight only makes Jimin feel more lonely, reminds him more of before.

Before appa and eomma.

Before Taehyung.

Before Sunshine House.

In truth, Jimin doesn’t remember much before Sunshine House. Not that there is much to remember. The days and nights blur together into incoherency, and the only thing that remains vivid is the closed door where grown ups would come and go.

Instead, Jimin remembers the day she - not eomma - left him. Jimin remembers how she had dressed him up in his one and only coat, the sleeves bunching up in his palms. He remembers her wrapping a red scarf round and round his neck - it had kept him warm enough despite his threadbare clothes.

He remembers the park. How the playground had been bare, the chains on the swing icy in his hands. He remembers playing in the sandbox, forming lumps of clay and sand for riceballs and drawing figures with a stick; remembers turning every now and then to show her.

He remembers turning around and finding her gone completely.

He remembers feeling cold - the kind that remained after the hot cocoa they gave him at the police station, wrapped in a thick scratchy blanket. The policemen behind the desks would take turns staring at him, making him uncomfortable, and every now and then, a lady police officer would come up to offer him water or snacks.

He remembers walking through the front door of Sunshine House for Children, remembers feeling tiny and even colder under the stares of the other kids. His bed is a futon among a dozen others in a big room, the blanket thicker than his old one, the mattress not as lumpy.

Jimin doesn’t talk much to the other kids, doesn’t talk much at all, except for when the adults ask him a question. Though polite, his answers are always simple, short words.

About a week in, the first snow falls at dawn, and the kids wake up to a good couple inches of fresh, white snow. Where most of the kids run around building snowmen and waging snowball fights, Jimin picks a secluded corner, near some bushes. There, he meets Lula - the resident stray cat, fur in soft patches of orange, black and white, and eyes bluer than the sky.

When the matron comes to coax him back inside with the other kids, she gets a heart attack. The notoriously feisty stray calico in their neighborhood hangs limply in Jimin’s arms, as though it has only ever been docile. The child turns with his charms on at full throttle - his droopy eyes wide and beseeching, lips full on pout - looking like the world would end if she says no.

That night, Jimin is given a thorough lecture about being careful around stray animals, as well as how to care for a pet himself, while they get the calico de-clawed and vaccinated.

Lula is the first friend Jimin makes.

Jimin likes Lula a lot - she doesn’t talk but she always keeps him company. She gets fussy with other people, but Jimin finds her anger familiar and calming somehow. He likes her soft paws better than stinging slaps and booming shouts.

It’s still hard to talk to the other kids - Jimin finds himself lost for words around them, finds his voice gone when they try to talk to him, finds his limbs frozen when they try to play with him.

There’s this one boy, though, named Taehyung - the boy who always smiles and is one of the loudest kids in the bunch, the one who sleeps in the cot next to his. On Jimin’s third night in the orphanage, he gets nudged right before he could fall asleep. It’s Taehyung.

“Can I sleep next to you?” He whispers, already tugging at Jimin’s comforter.

“Why?” Jimin sits up quietly, peering at the rumpled state of Taehyung’s futon.

“I can’t sleep.”

Taehyung fiddles with the frayed ends of his pajamas, his eyes are wide and he bites his lips shyly. It’s different from the typical bubbly brightness he exudes - which Jimin secretly envies - and Jimin finds himself scooting over, allowing Taehyung to snuggle up next to him.

When he wakes up, Taehyung has his arms and legs coiled around Jimin, but he only finds himself feeling perfectly warm, the coldness he’s felt in his tummy from before somehow gone.

On his second week at the Sunshine House, Jimin makes his second friend - his first human friend, Taehyung.

Taehyung is different from Lula. He’s loud and cheerful where Lula is quiet; always moving and talking and playing. But Taehyung makes him laugh with silly faces and weird noises, keeps Jimin warm with hugs and cuddles just when Jimin starts feeling left out. He never leaves Jimin alone for too long, and Jimin shows him how to give Lula a bath the way the caretakers taught him to.

In the day, Jimin becomes Taehyung’s shadow, trailing after him quietly as he plays and mingles with the other kids. Some days, Jimin is still too shy to stick around, so he settles back down with Lula, coloring or drawing or playing blocks, and sooner or later, Taehyung settles down next to him. It’s one of the few moments the caretakers actually see Taehyung settle down.

In the night, Jimin scoots to the left most side of his cot, makes sure their comforter is evenly spread. Taehyung snuggles close to Jimin, wrapping his arms around him as though Jimin is an anchor that keeps him from getting blown away. Jimin doesn’t mind; likes Taehyung’s warm hugs, likes waking up tangled in sheets and limbs, especially after long dreams of being alone in the dark on cold kitchen floors.

It takes several more weeks, but spring comes eventually. When they finally shed their heavier coats and scarfs for light sweaters, Jimin plays with the others like he’s been part of the group for years, smiles bright and warm like the spring sun.

It’s November now, and Autumn engages in a tug of war with Winter. To Jimin, it’s all the same; the nights are long and cold, but his tears don’t run out.

Spring still seems too far away.

Jimin tries to stifle his sobs, he really does. But he misses when appa read him bedtime stories - misses appa’s warm big hand on his head, misses eomma’s lullabies, misses forehead kisses. More than anything, he wants appa to come back. He doesn’t understand why appa needed to become a star. Jimin doesn’t need stars - they’re too far away for hugs and kisses and bedtime stories.

“Jiminie?” Taehyung whispers, crawling over to sit next to him in front of the window. Jimin doesn’t look up, only curls tighter into himself, knees pressed to his chest, face buried in his crossed arms. Taehyung clenches a fist onto Jimin’s sleeves.

“Did you get another nightmare?” He whispers sadly. Jiminie has been having a lot of nightmares lately; he gets woken up whenever Jimin begins tossing and turning, sometimes talking and crying.

Jimin shakes his head, sniffling. “I miss appa so bad, Taetae.”

Taehyung nods sadly; he does too. He looks up at the cloudy sky, and frowns. He glances at Jimin, biting his lip, before curling up his legs to rest his chin on his knees, too.

“I’m sorry, Jiminie.” He says softly, morosely. “S’my fault. I drew on the couch again today and I didn’t eat my vegebles. Daddy must’ve saw, and ‘cause I wasn’t good today, hid away.”

Jimin shakes his head again, this time lifting his head. “No, Taetae. It’s my fault, too. I made fun of Uncle Jin, and I don’t finish my food all the time. And we didn’t clean up our messes after playtime.”

They both quiet down, looking up at the inky grey and black sky.

“…It’s both our faults.” They say at the same time, sighing. Blinking, they turn to look at each other, then look back up at the sky. “We’re sorry.”

“Need to apologize to Uncle Jin tomorrow, maybe.”

“We’ll do it after breakfast. I’ll make sure to finish mine tomorrow.”

“I’ll eat more of my vegebles, too. After playtime, let’s clean up too.”

“What about the couch?”

“Ggukie started it! That’s his fault, too,” Taehyung whined, pouting. Jimin pokes his arm.

“Appa will know. You have to be good, too, or it won’t work.”

Taehyung pouts some more, but nods resignedly. “Fine, fine - but can we go back to bed now? The floor is cold.”

They get resettled - Poby the Polar Bear getting pushed off the bed - back into their tangle of arms and legs and pillows, Jeongguk remaining fast asleep through it all.

“Good night, Jiminie.”

“Good night, Taetae.”

.

.

.

Seokjin frowns, seeing Jimin’s puffy eyes. The seven year old is more sluggish this morning than usual, more subdued.

“Jiminie, are you feeling okay?” He asks worriedly, pressing the back of his hand onto the young boy’s forehead. His temperature is normal, and Jimin mumbles a small, “’m fine.”

Seokjin purses his lips, then turns to his other seven year old, who’s more bleary eyed than usual. Taehyung’s hair sticks up in multiple directions, his eyes still at half-mast staring blankly at the table. It’s a one-eighty from the usually exuberant boy that Taehyung is, and Seokjin’s worry meter goes up another one or ten notches.

“Taehyungie, did you not sleep well last night?”

Taehyung promptly slumps over, faceplanting onto the table with a small thump. Jeongguk cackles at his brother, reaching with stubby fingers to poke at his side. Seokjin watches with mild amusement as Taehyung whines, weakly batting out an arm in retaliation.

“Right, well, you can go back to sleep if you want, but only after breakfast.” Seokjin says finally, turning back to where he’d been finishing the last plate for breakfast. With a flourish borne out of habit, (and yeah, okay he might be putting on a bit of a show, but if the kids don’t bat an eye, then it never happened) Seokjin makes quick work of the berries, dishes them out into small bowls.

“Heads and arms off the table,” he calls plopping down the plates and bowls. Taehyung’s nose twitches, before he perks up in a flash, back ramrod straight even as his eyes remain half shut.

“Strawberries!” He yells loudly, prying one eye open.

“There’s waffles, too.” Seokjin replies, more than slightly amused when Taehyung’s eyes pop wide open at the breakfast spread, the boy digging in with a hearty cheer. Jeongguk is already cramming his cut up pieces of bacon and waffle, and even Jimin hums happily with every other mouthful.

Today, Seokjin’s decided to give the kids a treat, making hashbrown-stuffed waffles, topped with bacon slices and poached egg, along with a bowl of sliced berries. Taehyung eats only the strawberries after polishing off his waffle, handing the rest to Jeongguk as usual who happily devours the rest, his own plate already wiped clean.

“Dewishoos!” Jeongguk chimes happily through mouthfuls of strawberries and bananas. Taehyung pokes his side, and Jeongguk blinks at his brother, before he turns to Seokjin, saying “Thank-you Uncle Jin! Dewishoos food!”

Somewhere between Seokjin melting and preening at the praise, Jeongguk polishes Taehyung’s bowl of fruits, moving on to Jimin’s. And in what seems like a blink of an eye, the four year old manages to stuff six whole blueberries into his cheeks. Like a chipmunk. An oversized chipmunk.

The idea of a four-year-old Jeongguk-chipmunk driving him to bankruptcy with his bottomless pit of a stomach won’t quite go away.

On the bright side, today Jimin finishes his waffles, although he only eats half of his fruits (Jeongguk had gotten to them before Jimin could). But Seokjin decides to count his wins rather than his losses.

Progress is progress.

Soon, everyone’s plates empty out, and dutifully, the kids set their dirty dishes onto the sink - for the first time, without prompting from Seokjin. The chairs are tucked in with a bit of scraping, and Seokjin turns to wash the dishes, hearing the telltale pattering of feet and the opening theme of Pororo blaring from the living room. He assumes the kids are tucked into the couches - or likely goofing off and roughhousing again - so he’s surprised when he turns around to see Jimin and Taehyung still standing by the table, engaged in what may very well be a telepathic conversation.

“Boys? What are you two still doing here?”

Jimin and Taehyung turn to him at the same time. The solemn looks in their eyes make him pause, curious, but also slightly nervous. “Uncle Jin!”

He raises his brows, drying his hands with a dishtowel.

“We’re sorry!” They chorus, even bowing their heads at the same time.

Seokjin dumbly replies with an open mouth and a, “Uh…huh?”

“I’m sorry Uncle Jin,” Jimin chews on his lip, looking down and sideways and everywhere not into Seokjin’s eyes. “…I haven’t been a good boy.”

“Me either neither!” Taehyung chimes in, and while he looks determinedly at Seokjin, his hands fidget restlessly with the ends of his pajama shirt. “I should’ve finished all my vegebles and I haven’t.”

“A-and we didn’t clean up after playtime,” Jimin adds nervously. “Sorry.”

“The broken vase too, and the couch and the wall–” Taehyung looks at him wide-eyed. “I-I mean the vase and the couch, the couch, we’re sorry.”

“Uhm…? Okay…?” Seokjin replies unsurely, his brain still trying to catch up.

Jimin and Taehyung look up at him expectantly, pleadingly, as though he holds the key to their fate, and he simply isn’t well-equipped for this so early in the morning. He doubts he’d be prepared for this any time of the day this year, really - or ever. He clears his throat; motioning for them to come closer with what he hopes is a comforting smile as he crouches to their eye level, each hand on the boys’ shoulders.

“I forgive you both. I’m glad you boys are mature enough to own up to your wrongs and apologize - I’m proud of you, and I’m sure your parents are too,” His voice hitches a bit, and he tries to swallow the lump in his throat. Jimin and Taehyung look up at him so earnestly he fears he might just break. “But what brought this on, all of a sudden?”

The two look at each other briefly, then Taehyung says, “Jimin misses dad a lot, but we haven’t been good boys, and dad saw and won’t appear in the sky.”

Seokjin is stupefied. Struck dumb, dumbstruck.

“Taehyung misses appa, too,” Jimin adds. “You said if we’re good boys, appa will be bright and happy, right? We promise to be good today, so appa will be up in the sky tonight, won’t he?”

That’s when Seokjin remembers it’s been cloudy and overcast the past few nights, will remain so for the coming days due to a mild monsoon. There won’t be stars in sight for a few nights more, at the very least.

More than ever, he wishes he had an ounce of Namjoon’s intellect, so he isn’t left fumbling for the right thing to say to these boys. Or at the very least, the perfect way to explain to them that no, good deeds and perfect behavior have no sway against easterly winds and monsoons.

Then he realizes Namjoon had been the one who began all this stuff about stars in the first place (what was that about the road to hell being paved with good intentions?) and he curses his boyfriend instead for putting him in this dilemma in the first place.

Seokjin really doesn’t know what to say.

Does he tell them the truth and take away any possible comfort they might’ve gained from believing their father’s become a star?

He doesn’t get to make the choice. Jimin’s face crumples, and Seokjin realizes he’s been silent too long. Oh no.

“Please, Uncle Jin, we’ll be good, we’ll be good! We promise!” Jimin cries, big fat teardrops leaking down in his cheeks.

Seokjin quickly pulls him into his arms. “Oh Jimin-ah, I know you will - you already are. You’re such a good, sweet boy–”

“Then why won’t appa come out in the sky? Does he hate us?” Jimin cries out, his body shaking with every sob. “Why did appa have to leave? We’re being good, we promise, we’re good! I want appa to come back!”

“Your appa loves you, Jimin-ah, he loves you and Tae and Ggukie.” Seokjin replies thickly, his own eyes hot. “He doesn’t hate any of you at all - he could never hate you–”

“Then why did he have to leave? Why isn’t he here?” Jimin pulls away viciously, face crumpled and wet. “If he loves us why isn’t he here?!”

“Because he can’t come back, Jimin-ah.” Seokjin replies softly, his ears ringing with the very same questions he still asks himself - even when he knows better.

But broken hearts do not listen to reason, and Seokjin knows this well enough, too. Still, his heart breaks all over again when Jimin’s face crumples with a fresh wave of tears, running back to the bedroom.

He hears a wet sniffle, and Seokjin turns to see Taehyung, tears dribbling down his face, too, fists twisted at the hem of his shirt.

“I miss daddy.” Taehyung chokes out.

Seokjin smiles sadly. “I miss him too, Tae.”

.

.

.

“Where the fuck are my tenderloins?!”

The kitchen staff flinch collectively, but nobody dares to raise their heads. The senior staff heave quiet sighs, but the newer, younger hires - including their part-timer dishwasher - quiver in fear. The young commi in question, even more.

“S-Sir?”

“How long does it take an idiot to rub fucking herbs into a slab of meat?” Yoongi slams his meat cleaver, chopping off a whole duck into clean cuts, before rounding onto the trembling young staff. “This is a kitchen, not a petting zoo! Gimme that before you drop it.”

He snatches the tray of freshly marinated meat from the trembling commi, handing a junior chef the chopped up duck. “Deal with this before I blow my fucking fuse.” Yoongi mutters, shoving the tray into the preheated oven after double checking the temperature, then slamming it shut.

“Entrée, coming right up,” Hyeri, one of their senior chefs, says, sliding over a nearly finished plate of lamb chops. Yoongi grabs a clean teaspoon, dripping different colored sauces in swift, meticulous strokes onto the dish. At the raise of a hand, Hyeri dutifully hands him a clean dishtowel to wipe off any excesses.

“Done,” He says at last, Hyeri collecting it with a nod to pass it on to their waiting servers. When Yoongi turns, he spots the commi from before - a kid, really, probably still in culinary school - still standing where he left him. “What’re you standing the fuck around for? Make yourself useful goddamn; the lunch rush ain’t over, kid and those meats aren’t gonna be rubbing marinade on themselves.”

The young commi practically jumps out of his skin, before running back to his previous station, where Young Jae is braising two different pots, while heating up a new batch of oil for deep frying some fritters. Young Jae discreetly offers the young lad a sympathetic smile, before nudging him to check on his braised duck.

Yoongi is already sampling Henry’s fresh batch of sauces for another set of dishes, supervising the plating with an eagle eye. It’s another busy day at Eat Jin with the lunch rush in full swing, a steady flow of customers coming and queuing up, especially after they’d gotten a Michelin star. The stress and high tension isn’t new, but normally Seokjin’s around to ease things down a notch before the kitchen gets too heated.

With Seokjin on leave, however, they’re left under the charge of their sous chef. And while Min Yoongi is a more easy-going person than most, Sous-Chef-turned-Head-Chef Min Yoongi absolutely does not have an ounce of chill in the kitchen.

“Yah, Yoongi-ah, you’re gonna scare away all our newbies if you keep at it,” Hyeri says nonchalantly while she checks on another batch of grilled pork chops just as the sous chef comes to a stop at her station.

Yoongi doesn’t lift his eyes from where he’s chopping up short ribs for galbi with a steady BANG, BANG, BANG! “I’m a chef, not a babysitter; Jin’s fault for hiring sissies.”

“Yoongi-ah,” Hyeri rebukes sternly and Yoongi sighs testily. “Look, I know you’ve been stressed, having to take over as head chef, and we’re all worried about Seokjin-“

“I’m not worried about that idiot-“ Yoongi mutters and Hyeri rolls her eyes but continues.

“Look, I don’t expect you to break out one of Seokjin’s puns-“

“I’d rather die.” Yoongi deadpans and this time, Hyeri flicks his forehead.

“Yah, if you interrupt me one more time, I swear,” the older woman huffs. “As I was saying, I don’t expect you to start cracking jokes, but you can at least try to be nice to our commi - Sungjae did not deserve that tongue lashing, you know.

Yoongi stops himself from releasing the long-suffering sigh building up in his chest, focusing instead on seasoning the chunks of short ribs. “Yes, fine, Hyeri-noona.”

“Good.” She nods, just as a timer dings. She swiftly takes out the tray of perfectly roasted pork belly from the oven. “And could you try to turn down the cursing? At this rate they’re gonna be calling you the Gordon Ramsay of Seoul.”

“As long as no one makes a disaster of a sandwich, noona,” Yoongi replies, passing the seasoned ribs to Kyung Soo for marinating.

The rest of the lunch rush passes by in a flurry of more orders, clanging and banging pots and pans and boards and knives, Yoongi’s occasional curses mixed into the chaos. It isn’t until 2pm when one of their servers, Jackson, comes bursting through the doors yelling, “hyung, hyung, hyung! Yoongi-hyung this is bad, this is bad!” that things take an awry turn.

Yoongi inwardly groans. He really could not wait until Seokjin came back to take this shit off his shoulders. This was not what he’d signed up for two years ago.

.

.

.

Jimin doesn’t come out of the room until Seokjin tells him it’s almost time for lunch. He washes up and gets dressed dutifully, even making sure to tidy up their bed - but he remains quiet and subdued. Taehyung is noticeably quieter today too, leaving Jeongguk to do most of the chattering.

It’s absolute agony.

For once, naptime isn’t much of a struggle. Jimin and Taehyung fall asleep even faster than Jeongguk - who, thankfully, follows soon after.

Seokjin takes this moment of quiet to tidy up the living room, tidy up his own chaotic mind, tidy up his strained and tangled emotions. In the middle of cleaning, he spots a new scribble on the wall by the couch that hadn’t been there yesterday.

This must be the thing about the wall Taehyung had been apologizing for earlier. Seokjin smiles faintly, crouching to take a closer look, taking out his phone to take a photo for posterity (or, y’know, when years down the road, they bring home their crushes, or become famous idols or something).

Just in case.

It’s as he’s zooming out that he realizes it’s right next to the spot on the couch Jeongguk had drawn days ago - still unfinished. The one with his brothers and the moon and one tiny spec for a star.

Taehyung’s scribble suddenly seems more familiar, more coherent - a scribble that looks vaguely like a constellation.

That’s because it is.

It’s Orion - the three stars that form the belt, the arm raised high above its head, the bow. And near the tip of it, closest to the couch, the two blobs, the stars from Taurus. One bigger and brighter than the other. Right to the left of Jeongguk’s wobbly smiling moon.

It’s the star they’d claimed was their father’s.

Seokjin nearly drops his phone. He doesn’t know how long he spends staring at it, his mind at once a storm and an empty void. Somewhere in between, he gets an idea.

He calls Hoseok.

[underwatersleepa]

Aww shitt I was tagged by @plutohno rules: answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people.

the last: drink: Orange Juice phone call: Sheyy text message: You, Daddy topps song you listened to: beamer boy, lil peep time you cried: last night dated someone twice: ive taken a break with someone kissed someone and regretted it: i dont really regret anything just more cringe and like why the fuck did i do that been cheated on: ive had a boyfriend who flirted with other people while we were dating but never like physical. So depends on your definition of cheating lost someone special: my cat, he was my best friend and i got him tattooed been depressed: ever since 8th grade ive dealt with it. Usually in the summer it flares up a lot and during the colder months im okay gotten drunk and thrown up: Ive only thrown up like twice in my life and both were sober 
3 favorite colors:
Olive Green, Black, Grey 
in the last year have you:
 made new friends: obviously 
fallen out of love: last august i ended a two year long relationship and it was hard but we are okay now and both in happier relationships 
laughed until you cried: yes?
found out someone was talking about you: always 💅
 met someone who changed you: of course. Probably everyone in my life has changed me in some way. 
 found out who your real friends are: i do this at least once a year
 kissed someone on your facebook list: lol no me and my boy arent friends on fb lol wtf 
general:
 how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: all. There was some creepy guy who knew my ex and wanted to get together but he is blocked
 do you have any pets: i just moved out so now my dog and cat live at my old house but next week i may be getting a snakee
 do you want to change your name: for the most part but its weird when people who arent my family call me by my real name. Mickey is a better fit for me what did you last do for your birthday: my boyfriend and i hung out all day and he bought me a stuffed bear and then we went to sushi with my best friend and their bf and then my bf left and my friend and i made a cake then got high and drunk what time did you wake up: 10:30 
what were you doing at midnight last night: working 
name something you can’t wait for: just found out my boyfriend and i are going on a day trip to san francisco in two weeks for his birthday!! Also my snakee! Also i get to see shey next week for the first time in almost a month i think 
when was the last time you saw your mom: this morning 
what are you listening to right now: A new youtuber i found named Tyler Rugge 
 have you ever talked to a person named tom: yes
most visited website: youtube
 hair color: dark brown. Want to dye it black 
hair length: very short but growing it out. Its like 4inches on the top and maybe 3 on the side 
do you have a crush on someone: yes <3
 what do you like about yourself: i am loyal and funny and id like to say im a good friend
 piercings: ears when i was a baby and i hate them. I want a lip piercing 
blood type: don’t remember
nickname: Mickey, Mick. I wont say what shey calls me lol
relationship status: takenn zodiac: Aquarius pronouns: Anything really but most people go with she/her. 
 favorite tv show: how i met your mother, breaking bad, the walking dead, survivor, the office
 tattoos: 2. My cat and a ghost on a skateboard 
left or right handed: right
 surgery: not yet 😅
 sport: sport?

more general
 eating: going to have vegan mac n cheese for dinner
 drinking: Water 
i’m about to eat: see above
 waiting for: my friends to ask to hang lol
 want: a snake, cuter underwear, a bigger apartment, better job lol
 get married: probably
 career: dream one is wildlife rehabilitator. My actual job sucks but its not the worst 
 which is better:
hugs or kisses: kissinggg
 lips or eyes: 👁
 shorter or taller: in a partner i like them short and shey is only a few inches taller than me and im extremely short haha
 older or younger: doesnt matter if its only a few years difference and they are of consenting age also. Shey is a few months younger than me 
 nice arms or nice stomach: oh godddd bothh
 hookup or relationship: in the end relationship for me but nothing wrong with hookups tbh
 troublemaker or hesitant: troublemakerr 
have you ever: 
kissed a stranger: i had to think but no lol
drank hard liquor: yes 
lost glasses/contact lenses: yup but i never wear them anyways 
turned someone down: idk why but in the last year so many people have gotten crushes on me and im like wtfff
had sex on first date: um
broke someone’s heart: mutually..
 had your heart broken: yeah
been arrested: not yet 😜
cried when someone died: i cry daily so 
fallen for a friend: 70% of the time i usually fall for my friends at one point but i havent since like maybe junior year of highschool 
do you believe in:
yourself: not really at all
miracles: yes
love at first sight: no way
santa claus: who
angels: yes

other
eye color: hazel
height: 5'2
favorite thing to do: watch youtube, skype with shey, hang with friends, get high or drunk, laugh, skate, press flowers and plants, play piano or uke
favorite celebrity: neil patrick harris but i just realized the other day i dont have a crush on him anymore
favorite movie: La La Land, Moonrise Kingdom, Gone Girl

Oh mann gotta tag people now. Literally just do it and say i tagged you. I dont have enough friends on tumblr. Also non of you are even gunna read this lol

[tehfabbooty]

A New Light Part Four

Later that day, Peter heard a knock on the door. Fortunately he had the volume on his Walkman turned down, so he heard the light tapping. "Yeah?"he called. "Lunch is ready,"Kraglin's voice said. Oh great, Peter thought. Making his way to the dining hall, he heard Yondu's laughter. Probably about something stupid surely, Peter thought to himself. Walking inside, pleasant surprise filled him. Instead of Ravager food, the table was actually filled with Terran food for once. Yondu glanced over at Peter's happy face. "Since ye helped us retrieve the stone, boy, I figure a day off and Terran food ought to do ye good,"he told him. Peter picked up a roll and bit into it. "Mmm." "How is it?" "Delicious, captain. Thanks!" Grinning from ear to ear, Peter sat down and dug into his treat. Whoever made the food did an excellent job. Mashed potatoes, rolls, mac and cheese, baked beans, country ham, corn, and steak lined the table and were all so perfectly made Peter couldn't believe someone on this ship pulled it off. Probably stole this, he joked to himself. But he didn't care. This was the first time he really enjoyed his meal. When he was finished, he placed his silverware down and leaned back in his chair. "Who made this?"he asked Yondu. Yondu smirked. "Kraglin. He's the closest thing to yer kind, so I had 'im make ye lunch." Peter beamed up at Kraglin. "Thanks, Kraglin." He waved his hand at him. "Don't mention it,"he grumbled. Getting up from the table, Peter burped. "I wish I could eat more, but I'm stuffed." He undid the button on his pants and made his way to the bathroom. Five minutes later, he exited the restroom to find all of the Ravagers and Yondu in the hall. "Boy, we'll be back in about two hours,"Yondu said. "Don't fuck nothin' up, ye hear me?" Forgetting about his day off already and that they still had missions, he nodded. "Yes, sir." "Good. Let's go, boys." They left the ship onto a smaller, portable one that still fit all of the crew. Watching them fly away, Peter turned on his heel and whistled his way back to his room. But just before he could, something caught his eye. Out of habit, Peter glanced around to make sure he was alone before entering Yondu's room. There, on the desk, sat the grey stone Peter helped steal. Eyebrows raised in curiosity of how something so boring could be so precious, he approached the stone cautiously. Under the lamp on the desk, it glittered. It was about the size of Peter's fist, and was a perfect round shape. It looked like it was carved professionally from a mountain. Curiosity getting the better of him, Peter reached his hand out to touch it. But as soon as one finger touched the surface of the stone, everything went black. When he awoke, he knew it hadn't been that long. The Ravagers were not back yet. So it only could have been ten-fifteen minutes. Groaning and feeling soreness in hand, he stood up and swayed from dizziness. What the hell just happened? Once Peter's eyes refocused, he stared down at the rock in confusion. How did it make him black out like that? It never did that to Yondu when he held it. Tilting his head but knowing to not touch it, he examined the stone. What kind of powers did it hold? Pursing his lips, he looked around the cabin until he found a book lying open on Yondu's chair. He walked over and picked it up, flipping through the pages. The outside cover was blank, which didn't help Peter any. He flipped through it again, hoping to find something to help him. But just when he was about to give up, a page stopped him in his tracks. He flipped back to it and brought the book over to the lamp so he could see. Pictured was the exact stone on the desk. Intrigued, Peter began to read. 'Electric Stone,' the title read. 'Discovered many years ago in a tomb in the middle of a forest on an unknown planet, the Electric Stone is the only of its kind. It looks just like any other ordinary stone, but it is not like one. The stone has an extreme importance. Anyone who finds it has the ability to control a species known as the celestial, or also known as gods. The electricity from a celestial can be controlled by the stone, so much so it can calm the god and choax them to sleep. The reason it is so important is because there's only one known celestial alive today: Ego.' Peter gasped. 'It is unknown whether Ego has beared any children to carry on his celestial genes. But it is known that he is a vile, dangerous, manipulative creature who must be approached with caution. The stone can only do so much to control his powers. He is a very powerful celestial that has killed thousands of the galaxy's strongest warriors, including Titanatus. If not careful, he can manipulate the stone into killing or harming you instead. Anyone who does not carry the celestial gene can touch it, since they have no control over the stone. But if anyone with even a small trace of celestial in their genes comes into contact with it, they will collapse into unconsciousness or die. That is because even a small amount of electricity in the body is enough to make the stone react. It can help a celestial control his powers, but none are known to have been able to. All those in the past that have tried have failed and either combusted into ashes or destroyed the celestial within them. That is why it is so dangerous to celestials and may be one thing to destroy Ego. The whereabouts of the stone are no longer known. It went missing several years ago and has never been found. No other stone close to it has been discovered either. Some say it's a myth, that it never existed since it's been so long that no one has seen it. But only the one who owns it knows.' Peter, his face white and his eyes huge, stared at it in shock and disbelief. What the fuck did he just read? Before he could come up with an answer, he heard the sound of the ship being boarded. Shutting the book and returning it to where it was, he ran out and down the hall to his room.