#this year i had my first churro

[fobnsfwdoodlesbackup]

Hiiiiiii! Today is my birthday!! 💖

I would like to ask for something this year, something silly goofy if you would like to participate, which is that I would love to see some drawings of cowtrick or cows in general UwU 🐮🐄💖

They do not need to be skilled, they can be cute or messy or anything you want! But I would love to see some art from y'all 💕

[bonesandpoemsandflowers]

my current grand theory of everything as squeezed through the phantom of the opera filter is that the evo psych / neuro bio doctor guy who says that the most attractive thing to women is "autonomic nervous system regulation" is right, and most women, most of the time, want to feel safe. but also if you're the kind of woman who is very aware that the world is a fucked up place, if you've experienced any real actual physical violence in your life, and you're also kind of fucked up about surviving it because hey buddy, that's rough, then--

then of course some rich pretty boy doesn't make you feel safe, even in theory, in fiction, in fantasy. do you know what happens to rich pretty boys in failed state situations? unless their family uses that cash to immigrate out or hire a shit ton of private security, they die like everybody else.

so maybe yeah, maybe it is that the world is kind of fucked up place, and there is a little bit of fight fire with fire burning in not just the id, but everywhere in the psyche. maybe if you're very aware of how people might--no, not just might, maybe if you know people have wanted to actually for real kill you before, maybe the fantasy is man who is good at murder (but won't murder you, who is still emotionally vulnerable to you). maybe all this discourse on healthy relationship blah blah misses the point that sometimes danger is the point, sometimes danger IS the fantasy, sometimes danger is the allure because there is nothing safe about a person who's harmless. maybe the fantasy isn't civilizing the monster or taming the wilderness. maybe the fantasy is feeling safe because of the monster.

maybe the fantasy is knowing it's not just your teeth and claws against the uncertain world.

so maybe all The Discourse misses the fucking point, you know?

[swampdrive]

Being actively befriended by someone after a long time of constantly being the one to put too much effort into friendships and feeling like everything is one sided and im disposable is fucking WILD MAN!

[mizgnomer]

Behind the Scenes of The Star Beast - Part Eight

Excerpts from Benjamin Cook's Star Beast Set Visit - discussing the Camden night shoots:

Is nobody here having a bad time?? WHAT'S WRONG WITH THEM? "I had a little lull earlier," admits David, "at 2AM when we were waiting to turn over- I definitely yawned, maybe twice - but then the blood starts pumping again." Wrap isn't till 3AM. David lives across town. Isn't he worried he'll wake up his family when he gets in? "Listen, the kids are at Davison's," he says (this is Fifth Doctor actor Peter Davison, who happens to be David's father-in-law), "so I'm full of beans. Oh, and sugar. Do you want some?" He's bought a churro from a market stall that's stayed open because it's very much in shot. "You can have more than that." He breaks me off a bigger piece. "The sugar rush will do you good." He offers the director [ Rachel Talalay ] some too: "Go on, Rachel, you deserve it." "Are you doing OK?" she asks him. "Yeah! Sugar! I'll move on to the Yorkie bars next. I give not a fudge at this time in the morning." He claps his hands, dusting off the sugar from his churro. "But are you OK?" "I am at this moment," she says, waving to some fans. "Tomorrow at 4:30AM I might not be. Ask me again then." "You do get a lot of love from the fans, don't you?" says David. "In a tiny way, which is just lovely. I mean, I'm not you," she says, with a laugh. "I love hearing them scream for you. But I'm not used to any of this. And… I think it's stopped raining." "OK, here we go," says Scott. "Let's go for one. Stand by then, folks…" They go for another take. And another. When I catch up with Rachel later – much later, it’s October 2023, and she’s chatting over Zoom from her home in Vancouver – we’re five weeks away from The Star Beast airing on TV. “I didn’t know quite how well the episode was working,” she says, “till my family watched an almost-finished cut. I came downstairs, and my two girls were crying. It was like, oh, OK, this does work! And on a much, much deeper level too. To have them go, ‘We knew it would be full of joy’ – which I think it is – ‘but we didn’t expect it to be so emotional,’ that was very satisfying. It was an emotional time all round.” It was. In more ways than one. Which is something that Rachel wants to talk about – here in DWM – for the first time publicly. “I think I can now,” she says, “because I’m close to two years in remission. I will be this month. Two years in remission. And Doctor Who really helped heal me. Directing Doctor Who while I was only a couple of months post-chemo.” A deep breath. “I had lymphoma,” she explains. “I’d been in chemo for seven or eight months. I wasn’t sure if I was going to survive. Then I was offered The Star Beast. I thought, I’ve got to do this. I didn’t tell anybody I was sick. I hadn’t told anybody except very close family. And I didn’t tell anyone on Doctor Who till I was there long enough to say, ‘Look, I’m well enough, so I don’t want you worried about me.’ Because, frankly, I don’t know that they’d have wanted to hire someone who might not have made it through the shoot. I totally get that. That’s fair enough. [...] “I could not have been surrounded by a more supportive crew,” says Rachel. “The best crew in the world. When I realised, it’s all night shoots, I thought, oh god, and I’m two months post-chemo. But that crew – David especially – made those night shoots so fun. It’s weird now, because I look back at the pictures – like that lovely one of me and David you published last issue – and that was my chemo hair. I was just getting my hair back. But I got healthier and healthier, stronger and stronger, as the shoot went on. When I got back to Canada, the doctor said, ‘You’re a poster child for how well someone can do after chemo. This is what people are capable of.’ “But it’s just what you do,” she reflects, “isn’t it? – when you love Doctor Who in your heart so much. There was no better place for me than Doctor Who.”

Additional parts of this set are in the #whoBtsBeast tag. The full episode list is [ here ]

[pugh-bug]

No.42 Chapter 1

Art Donaldson x reader : slow burn friends to lovers

I finally wrote chapter 1, I hope you all enjoy it! I’m excited for this slow burn

You widened your eyes at Patrick’s casual declaration. As his words: ‘Art’s gonna come live with us for a while’ hung in the air, you watched your best friend of ten years destroy a churro like it didn’t matter. Flat No.42 had been your sanctuary for four years with nothing but Patrick’s film commentating disrupting your peace. The two of you had a rhythm. An understanding of how the other lived and wanted to live, a schedule for taking out the recycling that Patrick stubbornly ignored.

You had game nights, movie marathons all without anyone having to third wheel. You weren’t ready to give that up, not even for Art Donaldson a man you’d been acting a fool around since Patrick introduced you.

‘Y/N,’

As usual your face concealed nothing.

‘Be good about this okay? Liam kicked him out to move in with his girlfriend, the least I can do is let him live with us for a while.’

You tried to picture watching tv with Art or looking up from your cereal in the morning to be greeted with his sleepy, cute face and messy curls. It took half a second before Patrick asked why you were smiling and even less for you to force a complexed frown.

‘Okay so when’s he moving in?’

Patrick wiped his sugar dusted hands on his ‘I told ya’ shirt, gaging your reaction with amusement. ‘Today, probably 6.’ So much notice - not that you were surprised the man once woke you up 2 hours before a flight he forgot he’d booked for the two of you.

‘Thanks for the heads up.’

——————————————————————

Forever the most organised member of the fire and ice duo, Art was at your door at 6pm exactly. Patrick opened the door as if it was Christmas Day and Art was Santa himself, you’d seen him smile brightly countless times but he actually glowed around Art. It was sweet, only sometimes sickeningly, and you understood the obsession. Art was the type of person lonely people craved.

‘Have my room, I’ll take the sofabed.’

Art broke away from Patrick’s bear hug to widen his eyes. You couldn’t help but smile at Art’s reaction to his friends generous offer. Patrick had a way of being there for his friends in such a way that never made them feel like they owed him. He had always been kind because of who he was, not for any accolades yet it somehow seemed to amaze Art every time.

‘Y/N,’ He turned to look at you, walking over confidently. The two of you had only started hugging in the last month, and usually only at the end of days spent with Patrick. He always hugged Patrick first.

‘Welcome to our piece of shit flat,’ you chuckled, as Art pulled you into a short but sweet hug. It took all of your strength. and did every time, not to pull him even closer to you. He always smelt of strawberry scented shampoo and the occasional cigarette which on anyone else you would have hated, you didn’t smoke, but on Art was heaven.

Art liked his own space, as did you, so for a few hours you let him unpack and relax on his own whilst you caught up on work. It wasn’t until Patrick ransacked his/Art’s room for a tie that the equilibrium of the flat was disturbed. ‘I’ve got a date!’ He exclaimed, ignoring the horror in Art’s face. He’d been on his twentieth push up and hated being watched.

Rushing out the door, using one hand to dress himself and the other to text the girl he was going to be late, Patrick made a lot of noise. You and Art were stood in the living room watching his antics with equal amounts of amusement and judgement. When he finally made it outside, Art watched you lock the door behind him.

‘Lucky girl.’

You raised an eyebrow, not sure if he was joking.

‘She won’t feel it when he eats all her food as well as his.’

Art smiled at your quip, knowing it was absolutely true, and thought to himself how nice it was going to be to get to know you better.

Chapter 2

Masterlist

[callsignseagull]

all you had to do was stay ✪ part 1

Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin x fem!reader

Summary: Six years ago Jake hit your life like a hurricane. In and out in a matter of weeks. You thought after you get over the disappointment of him leaving without saying a word you’d never think of him again. But then two pink lines change your life forever. Now he’s back and still has no idea that the little girl by your side is his daughter. 

Words: 2.1k

Warnings: Not much, honestly. maybe just a little angsty 

A/N: Here’s part one!! I hope you like it! It's a little on the short side but hopefully there'll be more soon :))

feedback is always appreciated :)

series masterlist

You’re sitting at the dining table, scrolling through your emails with one hand while holding your toast in the other. You’ve become a pro at multitasking.

“Mommy? Do you think they have churros at that market Penny is taking me?” Your daughter is munching on a toast of her own, crumbs sticking to her cheeks. 

“I’m sure.” You smile. “And I’m sure if you ask nicely, Penny will get some for you.” 

She grins before taking another bite of her toast and you can’t help but reach over and give her a kiss. You can’t believe how fast she’s growing up. At now five years old, Josie is your entire world. As shocked and scared as you were when you found out about her, she’s the best thing that ever happened to you.   

Turning back to your laptop, you flag the most important mails so you don’t forget to follow up on them later. The time before one of your books releases is always the most stressful, but you wouldn’t change it for the world. You got so lucky. 

You wrote and illustrated your first children’s book while being pregnant with Josie, it gave you something to distract yourself from all the changes you were going through. And then you posted about it online, it went sort of viral and then a publisher reached out to you. The book was an immediate success. It’s been translated in several different languages and they even make stuffed toys and board games based on your characters now.

And now you’re about to release the fifth book in the series. It’s hard to churn one out every year, but you’re scared that if you drop the ball, all you’ve worked for will be ripped from you. You want to give Josie the best life possible, so you work your ass off. 

When both of you are finished with breakfast, you clean up the table and tell Josie to put her shoes on. As you slip into your own shoes, you whistle for Muffin, the four year old poodle mix you adopted from a rescue last year, and he comes trotting around the corner moments later. 

After checking you’ve got everything you lock the front for behind you, hold your free hand out for Josie to take, the other holding Muffin’s leash. Then, the three of you take on the short walk towards the Hard Deck. 

Penny Benjamin has been a life saver these last few years, throughout your pregnancy and beyond. She’s been there for you whenever you needed her, day or night. You don’t know what you would’ve done without her. And now she’s somewhat of a grandma figure for Josie, and she’s probably the hottest grandma ever. Her and Amelia are the closest thing you and Josie have to a family, besides each other.

Today, Penny is taking Josie to a Food Market while you look after the bar for a couple hours. It’s still early and not many people will be there, but you’re glad you can help Penny out while still getting some work done for yourself.

“There’s my favourite little family!” Penny greets, as you enter the Hard Deck, her arms wide and Josie immediately runs towards her and into her arms. 

“Hi Penny! I’m so excited! Are you excited? Do you think they’ll have churros?” Josie rambles with glistening eyes, her dimples on show and for a moment you’re reminded of how much she looks like her father. You manage to push thoughts of him to the back of your mind most days but sometimes you just look at her and all you can see is him. 

You haven’t tried reaching out to him again. You know you should’ve. But it felt wrong sending him a text telling him he’ll be a father. And you doubted that he even wanted to be a father. So you decided you’d spare yourself, and your daughter, the heartache. Josie hasn’t asked about her father much, but when she did you told her that he’s a pilot in the Navy and that he loves her. You never want her to feel like she’s not wanted.  

✩̿✪̿✩̿

Jake knew he’d come back eventually. He just didn’t know it would take him so long. But if he was being honest with himself he knew that if it wasn’t for him being called back to Top Gun for some top secret mission he still wouldn’t have had the guts to come back here. Hell, he’s been living only a few hours north from here for the past couple of years. He easily could’ve made the drive down. But he’d always been good at coming up with excuses. But now he couldn’t. Not when he’s in the same city for the next few months. He’d constantly be looking for you. Seeing you in every face that just slightly resembled yours. He didn’t even know if you still lived in San Diego, though. But going to the Hard Deck seemed like the logical thing to do. Even if you weren’t working there anymore, Penny Benjamin might know where to find you.

As soon as he enters the bar he’s hit with nostalgia. Nothing has changed. He takes a look around and pretends he’s the six years younger version of himself, still naive enough to think that nothing will ever rattle him.

Since it’s still the early afternoon it’s not busy and there seems to be no one behind the bar right now. With a deep sigh he sits down in one of the barstools, then notices someone crouched down behind the bar, looking for something in a cabinet. 

His breath catches in his throat. It can’t be.

He hasn’t seen you in six years, and even though he can’t see your face right now, he knows it’s you. He can feel it. 

Now he really feels like he’s been transported back six years in time. You haven’t noticed him yet and he can’t hold back the words that are going through his head.

“Can you pinch me? Because I can’t believe you’re real. I thought I was dreaming.” He knows it’s a bit of a dick move, throwing his first thing he ever said to you at you now. But maybe you’re not as mad at him as he thinks? What if you don’t even remember him? He hadn’t thought about that. Fuck. 

✩̿✪̿✩̿

You almost hit your head when you spin around towards him.  This can’t be real.

“What are you doing here?” You must look like you’ve seen a ghost, but it honestly feels like that. He looks the same but he doesn’t. He’s filled out more, even though you never thought it possible. And he just looks overall more mature. It suits him. 

“What am I doing here in San Diego or what am I doing here at the Hard Deck?” He tilts his head, a small smile on his face. You don’t grace that with an answer, he knows what you mean. The smile slowly drops from his face, and there’s a seriousness in his eyes that makes it impossible for you to look away. “I was hoping to find you here.”

“Why?”

“I want to apologise.” 

That makes you straighten up. Apologise? After six years? 

“I was an absolute asshole to you and you didn’t deserve that. I was going through a rough time and I took all that out on you. I’m sorry. And I’m sorry I just left without saying goodbye. I got called on a mission right after graduation and when I got back I figured you didn’t wanna talk to me ever again.”

His words take your breath away for a moment. Never in a million years did you think you’d get an apology from Jake. 

“I-,” you stop, wringing your hands together. At a loss for words.

“You don’t have to say anything.” He smiles softly. “I’m in town for a while. Maybe we could … I don’t know … hang out sometime? Catch up?”

As much as you want to protect your heart and tell him no, you know you have to catch him up on what happened after he left. It’s not right to keep him in the dark now that he’s here. You know that.

“You don’t have to answer me now. Take some time to think about it. I’m sure you’re busy, with your books being such a success. And you’re still working at the bar?” He looks curious and you’re a little shocked.

“I’m just helping Penny out for a couple hours. You know about my books?”

“My nieces love them.” He grins. “I have to read them to them before bed every time I’ve got time to visit them down in Texas.”

“You’ve got nieces?” 

“Yeah, they’re two and four. Love them to death. My Mom’s been begging for grandkids for years and she’s so happy to dote on them every chance she gets.”

Your heart constricts. Two and four. They’re younger than Josie. Not only does she have cousins somewhere in Texas, she’s also the first grandchild to a woman who’s never met her. Who doesn’t even know about her. But you don’t know much about Jake’s parents. Maybe she wouldn’t be the biggest fan of a child out of wedlock. 

You glance at Jakes hand. No ring. 

You muster up the courage to your next question. You know the answer might hurt, but you have to ask him.

“Any kids of your own?” 

Jake shakes his head with a laugh, “No, not that I know of.” 

It’s just a joke but you feel like it makes your heart stop before it starts beating rapidly in your chest. This is it. There’s no better moment than now. Just get it over with.

“Jake, I-“ 

“Mommy!” Josie comes barreling through the door, Penny a few steps behind her. “Penny let me have Churros and they were delicious!” She wraps her arms around you and looks up at you with her sparkling green eyes.

Maybe you don’t even have to tell him. You glance at Jake and he looks a bit taken aback.

“Yeah, honey? Did you have fun?”

“So much fun!” She grins, showing off her deep dimples, and you run a hand over her head before giving her a kiss. You manage to look at Penny, who’s glaring at Jake. It takes all your courage to look at him. He doesn’t even seem to notice Penny, his eyes focused on the girl in your arms. You can’t read the expression on his face, has he already realised how much she looks like him? 

“Well, I guess I don’t have to ask you if you have any.” He smiles, his lips tight, then looks at your daughter and his smile turns more genuine. “What’s your name, sweetheart?” Hearing the term of endearment again makes goosebumps raise on your skin. 

“Josie.” She’s not a shy kid, so you’re not surprised when she looks at him curiously and asks, “Who are you?” 

Your grip tightens around her but before you can say anything he replies, “I’m an old friend of your Mom.” 

You shoot him a really? look but he just shrugs his shoulders. Well, you guess it is inappropriate to tell your five-year-old daughter that he used to fuck your brains out. 

“Thanks for helping out.” Penny says, “Both of you.” She winks at Josie. 

Muffin comes trotting around the corner and Josie let’s go of you to throw her arms around the poodle mix. “I missed you!” While Muffin covers your daughter’s face in slobber, Jake huffs out a laugh. 

“A dog, too, huh?” 

You shrug your shoulders, not sure what to say to that. 

“Does the house have a picket fence?” It’s a bit of a loaded question, you think, but you don’t read too much into it and reply truthfully, thinking about the little house you put a down payment on a couple years ago. 

“It does.” 

Jake rubs his chest and gives you that tight lipped smile again. “I’m happy for you.” 

He means it, you can tell. “Thanks, Jake.”

He gets up from his seat at the bar, knocks on the wood a couple times then says. “Your husband is one lucky guy.” Another tight lipped smile.

“My wha-?” 

“I’ll see you around.” He nods then turns on his heel and before you can comprehend what just happened he’s gone.

“Mommy, why did he say your husband? You don’t have one of those.” 

“I don’t know, honey.” 

You watch him cross the parking lot to his car and it dawns on you that he thinks that all your dreams came true:  become a full time illustrator, fall in love, get married, adopt a dog, buy a little house, have kids.

Little does he know that you fell in love with him, had his kid, and did all of the rest on your own. 

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[writingwisterias]

Pumpkin Spice and Everything Nice

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

Leon Kennedy x GN!Reader

Words: 2.1k Warnings: Tooth rotting fluff, Slight angst, Implied PTSD Summary: Autumnal fun at the carnival with your boyfriend Leon

You had spent most of the week trying to persuade Leon to take you to the autumnal fair that landed in your town, normally he was away doing whatever the government needed him to do, you guessed all the mad scientists like the irony of doing it around Halloween. But this year was different he was finally home and you bet you were going to show him all the things he missed every year. "So where do you want to start?" you asked him, your arm was looped through his as you led him through the beautifully decorated archway. The smell of pumpkin spice filled your senses the further you both walked into the fairground, children laughing, flashing lights from all of the rides you could tell were beginning to take a toll on Leon so you softly squeezed his hand to bring his attention back to you. "Wherever you think is best Sweetheart" Leon replied a large smile plastered on his face. You knew he was reluctant to come here but now he was seeing the autumnal lights dance in your eyes as you stared at them in adoration, an image that would definitely become a core memory, he knew he had made the right decision. "Maybe we can start at the back and work our way to the front? But first dinner!" You suggested. Leon chuckled as you didn't wait for his answer instead you began dragging him off to the many food stalls.

Leon looked down at the churros in your hands and two coffee cups in the other as you walked back over to where he was leaning against a hay barrel wall, yet another cheesy grin on your face as you handed him his items. "I thought you were getting dinner?" he laughed as he accepted the sugared treat, savouring the taste of the cinnamon sugar as he took his first bite. "Yeah this is dinner" you giggled, he couldn't resist leaning down and capturing your lips in a sweet kiss - a literal sweet kiss as he collected every bit of sugar that had stuck on your lips. "You ruined my challenge" you jokingly whined at him. "What challenge?" He spoke, confusion littered over his face. "The one where you can't lick the sugar off your lips until you finished the food, but now you licked it all off," you said. Leon chuckled as he admired your smile, this was your element; he loved your cute little outfit with the pleated skirt and fluffy socks covered with the oversized cardigan. "You were already sweet enough, you didn't need any more sugar" he grumbled, pulling you into his side. You sink into the warmth of his jacket, a small indication to the man that by the end of the night you might attempt to steal it from him, leaving him exposed to the evening chill. Though he supposed he's endured worse and for you he would endure anything if it meant to keep that smile. "You are so cringe sometimes" you scoffed as you looked up at him, only to be shocked at his face finally relaxed. Leon chuckled before taking a sip of his drink, savouring the warmth until the taste of pumpkin spice began to form in his mouth. You watched as his face cringed as he tried to work out if he actually enjoyed the taste or not. You chuckled as you sipped enjoying your own, watching him as he eventually gave in and accepted the weird aftertaste. "Aren't you glad you tried this?" You chuckled as you watched his face cringe yet again at the taste. "Absolutely fucking not," Leon grumbled as he looked down at you, his words causing you to chuckle.

Instead of Leon peering at every dark corner watching for anything to take you away from him or anything else that would break this comforting bubble you had formed around him this evening; he was looking at all the families and listening to the children laughing as they picked the giant stuffed toy their parents had won for them at the many booths of games (silently making a promise to attempt to win the extra large bear he had spotted at the tin can shooting booth). Leon observed the many couples sitting in the Ferris wheel smiling at each other as they finally reached the top, smiling at the silently as he created another promise to finish the night off there as he created a mini bucket list in his head. He never thought he would experience this, never thought he deserved to be able to sit and enjoy the small things the world had to offer each season. Often wondered why you stayed when he couldn't make any promises of always being there or why you constantly made sure he experienced the smaller things in life. But now he was here, he understood all that he had missed since he had been in training and was sent on mission after mission. You always assured him that you did these things because you loved him and always thought that he deserved happiness too, to experience the things he fought so hard to protect without him even knowing. He felt your hand grab him squeezing it yet again, grounding him as you then began to lead him further into the festivities.

"We are not doing this" he grumbled as he stared at the horror house. "Come on, it won't be that bad" you pleaded, dragging him into the line without allowing him to protest further. And yet again he was surprised by how much he enjoyed it, he wasn't scared; He wouldn't be after having faced things far worse than the actor who crawled at your feet as you entered the room. However, he wasn't enjoying it because of the actors - no he was enjoying it because of you getting scared, even going as far as to belly laugh at your high-pitched screams or the way you would jump back into him. Leon would be lying if he said his heart didn't swelled with pride knowing that your safety beacon instantly found him as you got constantly scared. Grinning at the feeling of your timid frame hiding behind him as he walked through each entrance first. You were shaking by the time you had left the haunted maze yet a large grin was still plastered on your face with evidence of your enjoyment. You hadn't even had the chance to cool down until the worst scare came. Your hand gripped Leon's arm tightly as you began flinching away with a scream as the man crept up behind you. Your reaction caused Leon to stiffen having also missed the man creeping up behind you both. A cold sweat washed over him as he turned to face whatever threat, his body automatically choosing his fight response instead of his flight.

The scare actor soon backed off after being faced with Leon's death stare, his eyes turning dark as he watched the man retreat to his spot. "I thought you said it wasn't that bad" he muttered a poor attempt at a joke as he turned to face you, enclosing his arms around you not only to calm you but himself. "Well, I didn't expect that last one" You meekly responded as your heart rate finally slowed down. "Probably wasn't my best idea- but at least we did it first. We can try to win a prize now as we calm down" You spoke, a soft smile placed on your lips as you looked at him, your hand gently guided his face back to yours as you worried that you had ruined the evening with the scare house. Leon's eyes finally met yours, and you could see the fear that lingered in his eyes - he also didn't expect the last scare and his body was now still calming down as he looked at you. He gave you a quick kiss before dragging you towards the booth where the large teddy bear was located.

"I'm sorry, I didn't think the maze would trigger us both like that" you apologised, Leon hadn't said anything as he guided you through the crowd of people obviously lost in his thoughts. Guilt had been eating at you alive as you didn't even think to consider what the maze could have done to trigger anything he had yet to tell you about. Leon's shoulders sagged as he stopped turning to look at you again, he forced a smile onto his features as he looked down at you. "Don't worry about it, we both didn't expect the last actor. It's not your fault" he said giving you another tight-lipped smile. He wasn't mad at you, no he was worried at how quickly the protective side of him came out, worried that you would now be afraid to go outside with him as he flipped like a switch. "Leon, I'm not worried." your angelic voice called out to him, breaking him from his trance of overthinking. "I understand, you were just keeping me safe, I'm not mad," you said squeezing his hand, the action yet again grounding him. Something so small and familiar continuously brings him back to you, like a tug on a soulmate bond.

Leon swore your grin would be engraved in his brain until the day he died when you were handed the large bear he had spent the last 30mins obtaining for you. He watched with a large smile as you flung it around with you, hugging it tightly. "I think this will be a good replacement for when you go away. You've just got to cuddle with it for a few days so it smells like you" You joked as you walked alongside him, still clutching the oversized bear which was now swung over your back. Leon's smile grew at your words, he wondered if anyone has died thinking their partner was so fucking cute. "You are so cute" he chuckled bringing you in close to his side as you both walked towards the Ferris wheel.

The line wasn't very long as most of the families had left. The night chill was in full force as you held yourself as close to Leon who was now holding your teddy. His jacket just looked so warm, so cosy with the fur decorated around the edges. Leon looked down at you as he felt your hands begin to slide around his waist in an attempt to gain some warmth from his jacket. "I thought you wouldn't get cold without a jacket" he teased. "Well...it's not my fault you have the ultimate jacket" you retorted, still trying to worm your way even closer to him. It wouldn't surprise Leon if you tried to slip your arms in and wear the jacket with him at this point. He attempted to pry you away from his body, holding the bear for you to koala on instead as he shrugged his jacket off. Shivering slightly as his body was met with the chilly breeze, it was nothing like the cold wet rain he had run around in whilst he was in Spain. You practically moaned as he draped the jacket around you, the fabric swallowing you in his scent and warmth. You were both soon ushered onto the Ferris wheel, you cuddled close to him as the wheel began to move. When you finally made it to the top you felt him relax, you watched as he sunk back into the cold chair, holding you close to him as he took in the view of your home town. To you it was a pretty sight, to him it was a reminder of all the homes that he fought to keep safe, to prevent the things he had seen filter back to his home. "I'm proud of you Leon...for fighting so all of these people can be safe. For doing it without even a thank you" You whispered. You felt his arm tighten around you, you didn't expect him to reply but you knew he always listened to it, and appreciated your small reminders of how much he did for the world despite how horrible it was to him. "I love you" You whispered again before bringing his lips to meet yours, savouring the kiss before you felt the Ferris wheel begin its descent.

"I hope you had a good time" You spoke as you walked back to the car, a large bucket of cotton candy in your arms as he carried the comically large bear. Leon smiled, looking back at the retreating glowing lights. "I did, thank you- for bringing me here" he smiled. "Well you have to make sure you buckle up the bear, he's got to stay safe," You said as you got into your side of the car, his rock music filtering through the radio. Leon chuckled as he made sure the bear was strapped in safely. His hand laid on your knee once he had started to drive off, chuckling as you laid your head on the window and began to sleep on the way home. He wouldn't change anything of this for the world. 

[insanely-lovely-and-random]

Alrightyy saw Challengers for numero uno tonight and these are some thoughts/things that really got me the second time round!

*Thess are just my opinions the film can be read however anyone else wants

Okay so hear me out.. Tashi is such a dom, Art is such a sub and Patrick is such a switch and oooh it got me how at the beginning it felt like he was Arts dom, then he finds this girl he thinks is fantastic and maybe he thinks she could be the glue to bring him and Art and her all together BUT then it totally fricken backfires and instead he loses both. Art the little puppy he is starts wagging his tail in Zendayas direction and next thing ya know he's got a new owner and Patricks a thing of the past much to his palable distress. I mean christ boyos living in his car and starving, boys a mess since his lost his dom and sub poor boyo, so now various things I noticed some of which I feel back up my argument haha

Gosh theres so many little moments, Patricks thing for Art seems so obvious yet Art seems totally clueless.

1) Patrick is defos bi, not just because he just so is but also cause he matches with a guy on his dating app during his swiping.

2) The doubles match they play in the past? Gosh they're all over eachother! And Pats clearly in charge of that relationship and Art seems totally cool with that (for then anyways..)

3) When him and Art are watching Tashis game at the vert beginning Patrick grabs Arts leg in exhilaration. I mean he always seems to be touching or in the space of his boy for christs sake.

4) When Tashi mentions the fact Arts going to Stamford Patrick noticeably makes a face, you could say its because shes paying attention to Art instead of him or that hes upset because shes going to college instead of going profesh BUT I really didnt read it that way. To me it looked like he was upset Art was going to college, they've been together for years after all and now their splitting up, poor boyo.

5) When Zendaya asks if theres anything going on between then, Art laughs and says no BUT Patrick??? Science and he looks down, hell he wishes there was summat.

6) He taught Art to jerk off. Fucking hell.

7) There kiss man, all three of then and then just Art and Pat, just soo much chemistry.

8) When he reveals he slwpt with Zendaya to Art, and Arts smile drops. I think he's heartbroke at him sleeping with the girl he likes but I also see it as pain at being left out. These two people he's entwined with and now he's outside looking in. I also think If Patrick had seen that reaction he'd have seen a looot sooner that his relationship with Tashi might backfire greatly.

9) Patrick vsiting Stamford, first person he goes to see, his girlfriend maybe..? NOPE hes too busy chasing Art around the tennis court 😭

10) There's a ton of hot moments in this film. And the hottest? To me? That bloody stool grab with his foot. He wants Art close, he always bloody does! And the churros christ! And once again showing Art who's top so to speak, eating his churro, and telling him hes proud of his snakey behaviour. And that it makes his relationship with Zendaya hotter (I bloody bet it does) He never ever seems to show jealousy about Arts feelings for Zendaya, he points out thay he doesn't see him as competition to her not long after and I BET his doesn't. Cause I think he'd love it if Art was with him and Zendaya.

11) My God this bit gets be cause it gets echoed later. Him and Zendaya are making out and this girl who he's with and cares about is just talking bout his tennis game. And tbf what does he say?? "Weren't you gonna tell me bout Art" hells bells could you be more obvious?? And then the fight, he asks her if she's talking about tennis and her reply "I'm always talking about tennis" and I mention this cause it's gonna be relevant later.

12) The injury happens and everyone loses something. Zendaya has lost her career and ability to play tennis to her full potential. Art loses his best friend and Poor pathetic Patrick lost his bestfriend(and secret love) and his actual girlfriend all in one day!

From here on I cant guarantee my numbered points are in timeline order as the timline stated getting more out of sequence🤣

13) Zendaya and Art in the diner and after hearing Art and Pat dont talk no more saying she's a homewrecker after all. And what does Art say?? Zip. Nada. No denial just silence.

14) Okay lets talk that sauna scene. It was gloriously tragic. Patrick is clearly unaware why Art is THAT hostile towards him. I mean thinking of it from his point of view he'd have more reason to be angry considering the snakey girlfriend behaviour. But he never is angry at Art, not once no matter what he did. Of course we then discover Art is SO pissed cause he knows about Atlanta. Christ I bet pur stupid idiot boy Patrick thinks hes just being cleverly smug with that "when we were teenagers" line but idiot boyo your rubbing salt in the wounds 😭

15) still about the sauna, the naked trying to be top dog like old times but no no no, not anymore. Arts not his to be in charge of anymore. And the camera shows Art as higher while Patrick slouches nearby. Patrick asks him when he's so mad but doesn't get an answer. This scene was tragic to me, Patrick just seems hurt by Arts attitude. Art points out that they're no longer peers and I love this because thats the difference between the Zendaya/boys relationship and Arts and Pats. Pat may have been the dom so to speak with Art but he still saw them as peers. Zendaya doesn't. Thats the main difference in their relationships. Respect.

16) One of my fave damn parts of dialogue in the movie. (I really can't remember exact phrasing but this is how I rememeber it) Art is so sus of Pat, Pat asks him if he misses it, Art says he doesnt. And when Pat says he wasn't talking about tennis, Art says "Your always talking to me about tennis" and oof the punch to my gut that was. And it seemed to Patricks too! His face, this poor boy has twice been talking to the people he cares about, abou their relationship and they just say their talking about tennis, he cant catch a break😭

17) Pats reaction to Zendaya asking him to throw the game, is he offended for himself? Nopeee he's mad that she'd do that to Art. He says something along the lines of fucking him was one thing but to have Arts victory be a lie?? Gross, too far, too much of a betrayal.

18) For the third time, having just fucked Zendaya in the car and she just immediately brings up him throwing the match, like crimeny man this boy is probs sick of this game getting in the way of his relationships haha

19) Ooh that match point is glorious glorious cinema my friends. Patrick is so interesting in this whole match. Him deliberating on if he's gonna tell Art? So juicy and the way he did was fucking hilarious. That unspoken signal? Beauty.

20) Arts reaction? Wow oh wowww. The lad went through the five fricken stages of grief! The denial "fuck off!" the rage, throwing his racket, the bargaining, looking at Zendaya as if to say its not true (when she has no fucking clue what just happened). The depression, those sad sweaty tears 🥲 and then? That gorgeous smile, that acceptance. I think he felt catharsis, his marraige was clearly dysfunctional at this point and maybe knowing she cheated, knowing she'd threatened to leave if he lost, maybe that helped him let go of it. Ripped off the bandage, turned off life support, finally shake the pedestal he'd put his wife on( he compared her to jesus for christs sake). He made it through to the otherside and Patrick was there waiting for him with open arms ()iterally lol)

21) When Pat sees Arts smile? His own blossoms, clearly in relief and exaltation. I truly think he told him not to throw his game but to spur Art on. To finally unlock his potential. And to get the old Art he knew back and it bloody worked. That final back and forth, the pure energy, those sexual grunts all building up to a crescendo of a climax. Hooo boy

22) That goddamn brilliant leap in the air. Art is freed and flying, and Patrick doesn't hesitate he flings his racket to the floor because the thing that mattered to him most was never tennis. And he catches his boy with arms wide and then that embrace. They have finally come back together. It was beautiful. What does losing the match matter to Pat when he finally has his arms all over Art again just like he did in the beginning. We have come full circle.

Hahaha this is purely my own read into the movie and obvs mostly about the Patrick character and how I saw his actions. Now a few little bonus notes I noticed.

Nearly everything the boys eat/drink seems phallic, hotdogs, bananas, churros, even those drink bottles and cigarettes. Boyos are obsessed!

Zendaya on the rock at the beach was very little mermaid. Also in that scene when she said she wouldn't wanna get between em. Art said they didn't love together but Pat says "It's an open relationship" hecks you too obvious boy.

This movies so chock full of foreshadowing too, the story about Cat who got injured a week later. Patrick at Tashis party saying she'd have deals and a foundation which she does but via her relationship with Art instead just really cool script tbh

(Will probs add more when I remember em/see it for third time cause I am planning on that🤣🤣)

[respectthepetty]

Pride Petty Watch - LiTA (Rain/Payu) 1

Because I'm petty, I had the crowd pick which blacklisted shows I would watch for the month of Pride. I had planned to space them out more, but due to wacky weather over here (tornadoes, thunderstorms, softball-sized hail, and flash flooding), I had plenty of time to binge watch the first show, Love in the Air, which perfectly aligns with my real life theme of stormy weather, so I'm posting my random thoughts in five parts, two for each couple and the special episode.

I'm seated, I'm watching, and I'm being petty.

It starts at "2:00 AM" - Oh no. Nothing could happens at 2 in the morning, and the time just keeps going. This event isn't even going to begin until 3 AM?! Take me home, NOW! I don't care how fine these men are. I'm stopping for mini churros at Jack in the Box on the way home and going to bed. I'M OUT!

I've seen plenty of pictures of Boss in the past two years, but I still lost my breath a bit when he took off his mask because he was looking delicious in the rain.

RAIN WANTS A GIRL?!

Out of everything I saw about this show, NOBODY mentioned that Rain was trying to get a girl. I'm shook. That's a huge part of the plot I never saw mentioned. There were rumors of the actor (Noeul) being with Milk (of MilkLove), and I saw more of THAT in connection to this show than about him liking a girl within it. Where are y'alls priorities?! *looks at Tonnam and breathes deeply*

Payu's room is IN the garage? But what about the fumes? What about the noise? What about a good work/life balance?!

😬😬😬

I don't care if this boy is snuggling in his sleep, Payu is on my shit list! Instead of being like "oh, I misunderstood the signals," he pushed harder then got upset. Even if Rain secretly does want him, I need a verbalization. This is the end of the first episode, and I'm mad as hell at a bisexual on the first day of Pride. Damn.

Start of episode two and I know Rain's voiceovers are there to make me not be upset at Payu, but . . . I'm pissed at this man! He did all of that work, said it was free, but now there is "another" charge, then he shows up at this boy's school when he could've just talked to him at the shop, and feels him up in the bathroom stall. I am BIG mad!

I will admit, this is hot. Still very mad at my fellow bisexual for him saying he wasn't trying to force himself on Rain (even though he was about to mark a map on that boy's neck), but they got chemistry.

My fellow Slut for Christ, only God can judge you, but know that I am too.

All racetracks look the same so Pit Babe and Cutie Pie could have been filmed here for all I know, but I have this at 1.5 speed, unmuted, so I hear this is a legit hype rap song. WEARETHEGOOD's "Threat" with these colors?! Energy? Matched.

HE IS SPANKING HIM?!

I don't kink shame but both people should be willing participants in this endeavor. Then just to drop him on the floor like that?! That does not inspire trust! This is not Blue Boy behavior, sir! But this lecture after is. That is what I need from you. Remind him that this isn't some petty school shit but actual gangstas he is messing with. Remind him that he can't be reckless. THAT'S HOW BLUE BOYS GET KISSED!

Now it's a competition? Payu wants to fuck Rain so badly he looks stupid, yet Rain is over here saying he is going to make Payu want to fuck him, what? harder? What is this all about?!

What do you mean you didn't want to show Rain your bad side? Has all this been your good side up until this point?! Cause, dead ass, this side ain't looking that great either with you being upset you weren't sleeping with him on the first night and stalking him. So you're going to get worse?

Y'all can't sucker me in with red and blue colors. I Told Sunset About You tried that, and I'm still being petty about it. But whose house are we at now?! This is a different room than before. Payu got multiple places?! In this economy?

Prapai strolling in all happy because he had a good night . . . Sir, I'll get to your ass soon because I know how you got that happiness, and you are on the same shit list as your fellow bisexual bestie.

I am Sky and our judgement cannot be measured.

TWINS?!

All this blue between these two yet they are straight up lyin' every two seconds. The fuckery.

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!

I would've let him turn it in, but I appreciate that he looks so good while looking so sad with that warm glow.

Payu gets one positive point for leaving his arms open for Rain to come to him, but now that warm glow feels sus like maybe I should be paying more attention to Rain's yellow/orange backpack.

And now for a negative point because even though I keep seeing black x white, Payu stays morally grey by playing with this boy's emotions and hiding from him in his own shop! These after scenes are not doing Payu any favors.

Payu, do I like you? Do I hate you? Do I wanna fuck you? Do I wanna kick you in the balls? All of the above?

Guess I'll find out in the next three episodes.

[canirove]

Canary boy | Chapter 3

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Masterlist

“Inés, did you just giggle?”

“No.”

“Inés, I know you, and you just giggled. Who is the lucky one who has managed that?” Carla says. “Maybe the tall guy we met the other night?”

“The one who thought I was a lesbian because I played football?” I snort. 

“What?”

“Men” I shrug.

“That's… nevermind. If it isn't him, then who is it?” she asks again, raising her eyebrows up and down like that Milhouse gif.

“No one.”

“I don't believe you” she says, snatching my phone from my hands before I can hide it in my bag. 

“Carla!” 

“You seriously need to put a password, Inés. What if someone steals your phone and sees all your sexy photos?” she smirks.

“I don't have sexy photos” I reply, rolling my eyes.

“Why? You are sexy and… Why is Pedri sending you a photo of him eating churros?”

“It's an inside joke” I say, taking advantage of her shock to get my phone back. Maybe I do need a password on it, but to avoid having her lurking.

“An inside joke? Since when do you have inside jokes with him? And that was WhatsApp, Inés. Not Instagram. I thought you only followed each other there.”

“Not anymore” I say. 

It had happened the day after our churros date or whatever you want to call it. We had spent the night chatting on Instagram, Pedri asking me about how meeting my grandparents had gone, and telling me that his hungover had come back with violence once he had made it home. And the morning after, he had asked me for my number because he liked chatting on WhatsApp better, the “oh my God” I screamed when I saw that message being heard by the whole building. Like I already said, I'm stupid and I like getting my hopes up too fast and too much.

Though it's been a week, and we've been texting daily and very often. Very often. 

“Inés…” Carla sighs. “He has a girlfriend.”

“I know.”

“Do you? Because this totally looks like flirting.”

“What?” I laugh.

“Having inside jokes about churros of all things? Texting on WhatsApp? The fact that he has made you giggle?” 

“Carla, we are just friends.”

“No, you aren't. You fancy him, Inés!”

“Who do you fancy?” Aitana says, sitting next to me.

“No one” I quickly say, focusing on tying up my boots to hide the colour of my face.

“Who does she fancy?” she asks Carla.

“Someone she shouldn't.”

“Víctor?”

“What?” Carla and I say at the same time.

Víctor is one of the men's team stars, another young player from the academy like myself who made it to the first team at the same time I did. And since we both also play in the same position, everyone has always joked that we are destined to end up together, himself included. But the thing is, that I can't stand him. I've never have.

As a kid his ego already was too big for someone so young, and now it is even worse. The fact that once the awkward teenage years passed he turned out to be quite hot, girls all over the world being so obsessed with him that it sometimes is scary, hasn't helped. 

“I don't know. Since he is someone she shouldn't fancy and you've always said that you can't stand him…” Aitana shrugs. “We are filming some stuff with the boys after training, by the way. He'll probably be there.”

“Urgh, don't remind me of it” I say. “They'll probably put us together again.”

“They have to give the shippers their monthly content, Inés” Aitana teases me.

“Idiot” I reply, giving her a little push. 

“I'm sorry, I'm sorry” she laughs. “But you know it's true.”

“Whatever. Let's go training and stop talking about men” I say, standing up.

“Yeah, let's go avoid thinking about the mess we may be getting ourselves into” Carla says behind me before following us. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“And Inés, you will be filming a guess who with Víctor.”

“Great” I sigh.

“Did you say anything, Inés?”

“I was just wondering where he is” I quickly say. 

“Were you missing me, my love?” someone says behind me.

“Jesus Christ!” 

“Almost as famous” Víctor laughs. “Looking beautiful today” he smirks, putting his arm around my shoulders.

“Thank you” I reply, moving to be in front of him so he stops touching me. “Where were you? You are late.”

“Is that jealousy, Inés? Are you worried I may be seeing someone else?”

“What?” I laugh.

“You look really cute when you are jealous” he smirks, closing the space between us so he can caress my cheek. But I'm faster, and take a step back just in time to make him miss. 

“I'm not jealous, Víctor.”

“Of course not, my love.”

“I'm not your love either.”

“Yet” he winks. “Anyway, should we start filming this thing? If we finish early we can go grab something to eat… or whatever you fancy.”

“What I fancy, is to go home. Alone” I add when he is about to say another of his stupid flirty sentences.

“Always so harsh, my love.”

“I'm not your… urgh” I groan. Lord, grant me patience, because if he says another my love, I'm gonna end up committing murder.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“And now who is calling… me” I say after finally making it home and checking my phone. 

This can't be real. It has to be a mistake. He's trying to call someone else and dialed my number because we had been texting earlier. Or maybe not. Maybe he actually is calling me. Maybe something happened. Maybe he needs my help. Maybe he is in danger! If he is, I should probably answer and stop with my internal dialogue, shouldn't I? Ok, you can do this, Inés.

“Pedri, why are you video calling me? Is everything ok?”

“Hello to you too” he chuckles.

“Hi, sorry. But is everything ok?”

“Yeah.”

“Then why are you calling me?”

“Because my head is about to explode after being in front of my laptop working on an assignment for the past few hours, and I needed a distraction.”

“And I am a distraction?” I laugh.

“You have no idea” Pedri smirks. He… umm… what? “Anyway, are you free? Do you want to go out for a walk? I seriously need to leave my room and have some fresh air.”

“I just made it home, but… Yeah, why not?”

“Great!” he says with a smile that makes me feel all fuzzy inside. “I'll call an Uber and pick you up. See you in a bit, Inés.”

“Bye” I smile back before he hangs up. 

Did I just agree to go out with Pedri? As in some kind of… date? But it is a friends date, of course. Because that's what we are. Just friends. Though one of the friends is completely infatuated with the other, and for the past week may have been dreaming about very steamy cooking dates and other things that involve his churro. But my period just left and the days after I'm horny, ok? Ok.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“I can't believe that as someone born and raised in Barcelona, I had no idea this place existed.”

“That's because you are a mountain girl, Inés. The sea doesn't call you the same way it calls me, an island boy” Pedri says.

“What?” I laugh, taking the hand he is offering me to help me jump from the rocks we just walked down to make it to the beach. I could very well do it myself, but letting him be a gentleman and help me won't hurt anybody, will it? Unless you ask Carla, of course.

She would probably say that us touching like this would cause a tsunami that would destroy the city. Though maybe the sea starting to boil due to the heat that is going through my body and coming from it right now, would be more likely to happen. Dear Lord, Inés. He's just holding your hand! Stop being so lame and… horny!

“You don't like the sea” Pedri says.

“I do.”

“But not as much as you like the mountain” he says while we walk, still holding hands. “When you have some free time, you always go hiking or for a walk around the woods, you don't come to the beach to have a swim like I do.”

“How do you know that?”

“I've seen it on your Instagram” he smiles. Wait a second… Pedri has been paying attention to what I post? What? And more importantly… why? “You are a mountain girl, and that's ok. Next time you have to take me to one of your favourite spots.”

“Next time?”

“Today I think this is the perfect one for us” he says, putting down the backpack he was carrying and completely ignoring my question, which only means one thing: I will be thinking about it and what he meant with next time for the rest of my life. “Fancy a beer?”

“What?” I say, my brain working again and making me sit down on the sand next to him.

“You can drink beer, can't you? Or is that something you are not allowed to anymore?”

“Oh, no, we can. They just suggest us to not drink too much.”

“I'm not planning on getting you drunk, don't worry” Pedri winks before opening one bottle and passing it to me. How did I manage to take it from his hand and not let it fall after that wink and our fingers touching again? Nobody knows. “So, what should we toast to?” he asks after opening one for himself. “This place?”

“Nah, that's too boring. What about… to getting distracted?”

“I like that. To getting distracted” he says, raising his bottle.

“To getting distracted” I reply, doing the same with mine before drinking. “Urgh, I had forgotten how good this beer is.”

“It is your favourite, isn't it?”

“It is, yes. How do you know? My Instagram again?” I ask with a teasing smile. Wow, Inés. Bold move there.

“No, not this time” he laughs, the sound making me feel funny things on my stomach. “I know it is your favourite because you mentioned it the last time we all went out together after class.”

“How can you remember that? I can't even remember what I had for lunch yesterday” I chuckle.

“I just do” he shrugs, taking a sip from his beer. 

After that, we both stay in silence, neither of us saying a word while we drink and watch the sun set behind the waves. But it isn't an awkward silence. It is one of the most comfortable and nice ones I've ever experienced. Nice, until the worst thing ever happens.

“Oh my God, Inés!” Pedri laughs while I cover my face with my hands and wish the sand would open and swallow me whole. “What was that noise? A dinosaur?”

“I'm so sorry you had to hear that” I say from behind my hands. “But I haven't eaten anything since before training and…”

“And you are starving. Big time” he laughs again.

“Yeah.”

“Should we go grab something to eat? After hearing that, I'm afraid you may try to eat me.”

“What?” I say, daring to look at him. Which is the biggest mistake ever, because he is: one, smirking, and two, way closer to my face than I had expected him to be.

“Are you going to eat me, Inés?” 

“What?” I repeat with a nervous laugh, my eyes moving from his to his lips. Have I said yet that they are the most kissable lips ever? Kissable, and edible too. 

“I fear you might” he says, closing the space between us a bit more.

“Pedri…” 

“Inés…” he whispers, his face now so close to mine that I've felt him saying my name on my skin. 

He is going to kiss me. He is, isn't he? Why else would he be so close to my face right now? There is no other explanation, is it? He is going to kiss me. He… 

“Inés!” he laughs again when my stomach makes another horrible noise, sending to hell my hopes for that kiss. “C'mon, let's get you some food before you actually eat me.”

“I was about to” I say, speaking before thinking.

“I know” he smirks, getting up from the sand. “But there is a really good restaurant close by, and their food tastes way better than I do.”

“I beg to differ.”

“Uh?”

“Nothing, nothing” I say, quickly standing up. I think I'm so hungry it has started to affect my brain. “Sorry about the dinosaur in my stomach.”

“You don't need to apologize, Inés. I actually am quite hungry too. Shall we?” Pedri says after putting our empty beer bottles back on his backpack. 

“Let's go” I reply, forcing myself to smile and to ignore the fact that we, as in Pedri and yours truly, almost kissed. I think.

[victias]

My take on the letter from tearstone island prompt I've seen so many amazing fics of (if anyone knows who first did this please lmk so i can credit)

My Dearest Lucanis,

If you are reading this I did not return from Tearstone Island, if I am honest I always believed that this job would claim my life and maybe on some level that is why I accepted it, almost two years ago now, gods it seems like a lifetime. But this letter isn’t about me, not really, its about you. 

There is so much I wish I had been brave enough to tell you face to face despite you changing the subject every time I tried, well you cant redirect a dead woman so I’m saying it now and you’ll just have to brood about it ha! My soul has never felt as at peace as it does in your presence, my smile never as big, my laugh never as free, you have made me feel seen in a way that i never thought possible and I need you to know.

I wish I could help you see yourself as I see you, not only handsome but strong, resilient, kind, you use your training not only to spot weaknesses in your targets but to learn about those around you, how Emmrich likes his tea, picking out the perfect cape for Taash, and my churros, rarely do you ever have to ask but when you need to you do without hesitation, always willing to learn, to be there for those around you. You are determined and protective, more times than I can count you have saved my life. You care so deeply  though you try to hide it and give second chances even when people maybe don’t deserve them – yes i mean Illario (seriously watch your back there lest you join me sooner than your time), your witt is so fast and your heart so big. I truly never deserved the attention you gave me, the gentleness in your voice as we spoke and the way your concerned eye, makers breath your beautiful brown eyes, would linger on me when I would say I was fine and you knew I was hiding my pain, you always knew.

And Spite, you have grown so much, learned so much and whilst doing so you never cease to make me laugh. Your confidence in me to help Lucanis when he most needed it touched my heart in a way I can never truly express, to be trusted by a demon is a honour I never expected in this life, just know that it is mutual. I trust you with my life, Spite and more than that I trust you with Lucanis'. You have so much to offer each other despite this situation you were both forced in to and I hope you continue to make deal after deal until you find that perfect harmony. I am sorry I won’t be there to see it.

There is so much more I wish I could write, but we leave soon and I don’t have the time. Know that I love you. That the time we have spent together, reading, drinking coffee, holding hand, sharpening knives, me ‘helping' you cook, the simplest of things, have been the happiest of my life and I wouldn’t change it for the world.

I love you, always

‘Rook’

PS. A first kiss, I think, would have tasted like coffee and cinnamon, not honey and lavender cream.

[damnyoureyes-weasley]

This. Is. Cinema.

On the surface it's 2 guys a girl and a whole lotta horny tennis.

However, every single shot is curated to perfection.

It seems the movie is centered around this one match in New Rochelle and how our characters got to this point.

Over the course of 13 years we see failure, flirtation, lust, jealousy, trickery, obsession, pining and an intense rivalry. This all culminates into 2 ¼ hours of tension, techno and tennis.

The soundtrack adds a hyperventilative (which I'm aware isn't a word but should be 💀) layer to scenes that would not normally do so. A simple scene at a table turns into a 'holding your breath. Will they won't they' moment with the loud aggresive techo playing over the simple conversation.

All the tennis games are tense but the main one had me on the edge of my seat each time we came back to it. Also it's obvious but I appreciated the nod to the main tennis match being a representation of their tumultuous history.

Each of the three main characters feel so human that you can't just say "well they're the villain of this story and the reason all these bad things happened" bc they all fuck up and none of them are definitively villians or victims.

I noticed immediately that Patrick towers and invades people's spaces consistently throughout the 13 years. He's childish, immature, cheeky, stubborn, condescending and arrogant. There's also a vulnerability there. I think he's genuinely in love with Art ig only at first and 'who wouldn't be'

Art is sly, cunning, very insecure and softer as a person. Whether he was always like this or Patrick's intimidating, towering nature backed him into a corner slightly we'll never know but from the moment we meet them he's always second. Second to speak with Tashi, to sit on the bed. He gets shouted over a lot by Patrick but I think that makes us feel sorry for Art which allows his trickery to pass under our nose and us to underestimate him.

Tashi is obsessive, controlling, demanding and stubborn but also sweet and shows concern. I, however, think she never loved either of them, we knew this with Patrick but I think she lived vicariously through Arts career and cared for Art but never deeply loved him. Tashi and Patrick would not work in any universe because they're both too stubborn and they're both leaders, we see the fault of this pairing in the dorm before Tashi's match.

I won't pretend to be some film snob who only looks at the nuances and won't shamelessly say that this film was hot beacuse it was, incredibly so. The churros for Christ's sakes.

This film exceeded my already high expectations and I will say somethings potentially fishy about Lilys parentage just saying 🫢

To round this review off, I quote my favourite review, I've read "The tennis is about sex and the sex is about tennis"

[footballerimaginess]

Fluff Alphabet | Christmas

Merry Christmas everyone! Here is a a fluff alphabet with Joao Felix, hope you enjoy it and let me know what you think of it. Word Count: 1,347 ADVENT CALENDAR - You and Joao were like little children and had to get advent calendar's each year, each year you'd get chocolate but this year Joao made you a book calendar and he wrapped them all up and left them out in the mornings for you to collect. It was the cutest thing anyone had ever done for you.

BAKING - There were so many new recipes that you wanted to try, there were just so many you'd seen on TikTok that you wanted to make and you knew you had so much time and were ready to prepare some sweet treats for Christmas. CHRISTMAS DAY - As this season you were back in Spain, you were so excited to be celebrating in Spain with his family coming over and you were just so excited to be with everyone DECORATIONS - "There are just so many decorations here, why do you need even more?" he asked as you shook your head. "I dunno, I am obsessed with just picking up new decorations. They are cute right?" you showed him as you took the new sparkly lights in the box. "I guess, but we don't need anymore" he moaned again. EMOTIONAL - When Joao handed you your presents, you were feeling extra emotional. "This is for you" he smiled as he sat down beside you as he watched you pulling the ribbon off of the box. "Shit is this what I think it is" you muttered as you opened it up and it was the bag you had dreamed of for years. FOOD - "We just have so much food" you laughed as you plated up. "It all looks so good" you grinned as you watched as everyone played up. Smiling away as you were just so proud of how you had achieved so much in one morning. GENEROUS - You were just so generous at Christmas and had to buy so many gifts and never stuck with the spending limit. Christmas was one time of the year where you had to really treat everyone. HOT CHOCOLATE - You and Joao were snuggled up on the sofa together as you were sipping on your hot chocolates that you had just made. Laying under the blanket as you were watching Christmas films. ICE SKATING - One of your traditions is going ice skating with Joao. Despite the both of you being absolutely shocking, you still loved going yet embarrassing yourself was a talent in itself. JOY - Seeing your family all together at this time of the year was just so joyful and it was always the most amazing get together's. KITCHEN - The kitchen was a complete mess, there was just so much stuff around, where you hadn't cleaned up at all. "How can one person make this much of a mess when you are only cooking for two people?!?" you turned around as you looked at the mess. "I know it is crazy, I just kept picking up dishes and making stuff" you laughed. "I suppose you'll have to be helping me" you smirked. "Hmm, don't think so LOVE - You and Joao were so in love, this year was the first proper year where you had time to relax and just enjoy Christmas whilst you were resting and taking it easy. MARKETS - "Ooh look at those churros, can we get those?" you asked Joao as you pointed to the stand. "yes sure, but what else do you want? because that smells so good" you muttered. "Fine let's go and see what else we can get. Everything looks and smells so nice" he grinned.

NORTH POLE - You and Joao were going to Lapland, you had hinted at wanting to go for ages now. "This is so magical, but my god it is sooo cold" you shivered as you felt like you were just so cold and had no way of warming up as you grabbed his hand as tightly as you possibly could. "I feel like this is what it would be like if we went to the north pole" you let out a laugh and immediately regretted it as it was just so cold you were frozen. OUTFIT - Your Christmas outfit just needs to be comfy, it was all about your comfy clothes at this time especially as you were eating so much yummy food.

PRESENTS - The amount of presents underneath Christmas were crazy considering there were only a handful of you here for Christmas. "This is madness babe, think we went overboard" you smirked. "Nope, never" you giggled. QUEUE - The queues for the shops were just insane, all you wanted was a last few minute Christmas presents and you had been standing here for about 35 minutes now and you couldn't wait any longer. But it was slowly worth it. REINDEER - "What are all the reindeers called?" Joao asked as you were watching it on the tv. "Rudolph, prancer that is all i can remember" you laughed as you grabbed your phone and decided to google the reindeer's names. "I, Vixen and Cupid" you told him. "There are 9 but I could have sworn there was way more than that" you laughed as you showed all of the names. "There was no way I was going to remember all of that" you laughed. SNOW - A white Christmas is all that you wanted, you were just so happy and it was just so incredible. "Wow J, look how beautiful it looks. I have never seen snow at Christmas time, it is just so beautiful" you whispered as you watched the large snowflakes falling down as it hit the window. TINSEL - "What is this?" you turned around and saw Joao holding tinsel in his hand. "Tinsel?" you looked at him confused as you knew he had seen it before. "You know what it is right?" you asked as you turned to face him. "Yes but what is the purpose of it?" you shrugged as you didn't know yourself. "I dunno, just decoration. It always makes me think of my Nan so that is why I have to have some in the house" you smiled as Joao nodded, knowing how much she meant to you. UP (couldn't think of anything lol) - One of your favourite things to do was watch dinsey movies at Christmas. Your choice of film this year was UP, it was one of your absolute favourites and I just couldn't wait to watch it. Joao would moan because you never ever picked his favourite film which annoyed him, but this time it was your choice. VOICE - You hated singing and wasn't going to even attempt to sing, but Joao loved singing even though he always told you that he hated his singing voice. But you'd always catch him singing a Christmas song or two. WINTER WONDERLAND - When you were in London with Joao, you really loved going to winter wonderland. So when Joao had a break for a few days, you headed to London so you could go to winter wonderland. "This is so much fun, I am just glad we could do this again. Feels weird that we were in London for only one season, I miss being here" you replied as you walked around. "Course I miss it too, shame it didn't work out for us" he shrugged. Xxx - Christmas was the best time to be with family and you were so excited to have your own family one day and make Christmas even more special. YOU - You and Joao were so happy this Christmas, it felt different. Last year was completely different from being in England for the first time. You were excited to do something different but this time you felt so content with life and was so excited for the year. Zzz - Christmas was so hectic that all you wanted to do was sleep, you had to have a small little nap on the sofa whilst Joao sorted all his presents out because he had to get rid off all the boxes straight away. You just napped your Christmas away.

[batchilla]

Most Married Divorced couple timeline and other fun stuff.

This post will be updated as it needs to be updated.

I recently received some feedback that the third chapter of The Most Married Divorced couple caused some minor confusion, and so! a timeline to help make it clear what happens when is now being created! I also included fun facts about the series and my writing quirks because I am desperate for people to talk to meeee.

I have the full version, but this post will reflect the currently released works, or works that I can fit in spoiler free, such as the flashbacks, which are of course all prior to the main fic and can be read as stand alone if you so choose to just ignore their doomed future haha.

Purple titles are linked - let me know if I forget to link any of them!

Five times Robin rescued you and one time he didn't. (no link as not yet out)

This was a confusing one to fit in, as I would say that technically complicated exists somewhere in the middle of the many rescues, but I settled on first as it includes you meeting Jason.

the five as of this stage of development are:

the first time

the creation of your desert arrangement

the first time he drops you off at home

Complicated would occur loosely here

followed by the remaining rescues which I am keeping close to my chest.

Complicated

This could be read as a stand alone, but it is intended as the first kiss of this particular reader and Jason. It takes place shortly before Jason's death, maybe a year or two prior. While I never set an age in stone for the reader, I would imagine them to be mid to early teens.

We then experience a time-skip of several years.

Chapter one of The most married divorced couple

Till death do us part.

This fic occurs with no set age in mind for the reader or Jason, but you are settled into a apartment, and your daughter Mary is three years old, so I had imagined her as mid to late twenties or so, but you do not have to of course!

Chapter two of The most married divorced couple

Four years later

We skip forward four years into your divorce. Those of you with your smartie pants on will know this puts Mary as around seven years of age. This, for the majority of the time, is considered the 'main' time period, with anything before being a flashback. While I tried to make this clear, I will say it more plainly here because I am talking as me and it is easier to communicate this more bluntly out of the story:

Jason had zero contact post divorce with the reader or Mary until the events of chapter three; two years of utter silence. After the events of chapter three, while officially no changes in the custody arrangement were made, during the two years between three and two, Jason has come over as we see him do in 'four years later', or been present at places he could plausibly ran into you.

Chapter three of The Most married divorced couple

Jason comes home.

Despite what I just said about the main timeline, chapter three is an immediate flashback to the first time Jason returned after two years of total silence. Simply put this is two years AFTER till death do us part and two years BEFORE four years later. Or, for those of us keeping track by Mary's age, when she is five.

Chapter four of The Most married divorced couple

Churros, Coffee, hard Conversations, and Custody. (no link at this time because it isn't out yet)

a sneak peak of the unreleased chapter? in this economy? more likely then you think.

Jason wakes up on your couch, the morning after the events of Four Years Later, and after spending the morning as close as your heart can take to as a proper family would, with Mary, (once again aged seven for those keeping up that way) off to school, a very important, very sad, rather heated discussion must be had.

FUN FACTS

I, when writing x readers, try to avoid having the reader described as walking or running anywhere as I am a wheelchair user irl, and it often breaks immersion for me. No hate to writers who don't, its not a failing on your part, but I hope my fellow wheelchair girlies feel seen! I don't have her explicitly in a wheelchair, because I feel that it wouldn't represent most of my readers, but I have made a conscious effort that it could be read that way.

Jason's hoodie in chapter two, while never canonically described and therefore whatever you imagine it to be, in my own heart, is the 'I am kenough' hoodie. I had it as that in a draft, but I felt it changed the vibe too much to make it canon.

works I am considering writing for this series in addition to the main timeline:

meeting the resurrected Jason as Red Hood

The proposal

A series of dabbles or at least short, short, segments on what it's like to be pregnant in a family of the worlds greatest detectives

a short story about how Damian was impacted by the divorce

A far into the future mainly crack fic with the many bat uncles and aunts, Jason, and Grandpa Bruce all trying to convince a teen Mary to come join THEIR super team / to be their sidekick.

Let me know in the replies if any of these particularly excite you! I make no promises of writing them but they are rattling around in my mind.

[serafilms]

song 23! try hard (5sos) + park sunghoon (spotify wrapped event)

she’s so out of reach, and i’m finding it hard ‘cause she makes me feel, makes me feel, like i try, like i try, like i’m trying too hard

happy birthday sunghoon! wrote this one especially without being requested because 23 is his jersey number and i wanted to celebrate him today :) hope he has the best day + year

Today starts out just like any other: Sunghoon wakes up thinking of you. Actually, technically his first thought was ‘Wow, I’m one year older today,’ but his next thought was about whether or not you’d wish him a happy birthday, so it still counts.

He checks his phone and fights his disappointment when he doesn’t see a text from you. Instead, he’s flooded both in the group chat and his private messages with well wishes. He sends polite ‘Thank you’s’ to his relatives, tells the guys to ‘fuck off’ in their group chat, and laughs at Jake’s very lengthy and emotional private text, which Sunghoon is sure his friend cried while writing.

Riki facetimes him seconds after seeing that he’s awake and tells him he’d better have his house ready for their joint birthday party tonight.

“Seriously, if your backyard is a mess when I get there, I’m going to clog your toilet so people piss in the yard and then you have to clean everything properly.” Ah, what an angel. “Happy birthday, by the way.”

“Thanks, Riki.”

Then the younger hangs up, leaving a promise that he and the others will arrive before lunch for their planned ‘pre-party group only birthday pizza party’ and to help set up for the ‘real party.’ Sunghoon looks around his bedroom. It’s a little messy, because he lives in it so of course it is, but he knows the rest of his house is in order.

He already obsessively panic cleaned the whole place three days ago, when Jay confirmed that he’d sent you an invite. Man, he hopes you show up tonight. Not that he cares that much, of course (he cares very, very much). Because caring too much is bad, Sunghoon thinks. He can’t show his weakness, even when he is extremely weak. He wonders if he really has gone too far in his delusions and might now be descending into madness.

You care about him, or at least he thinks so, but you always seem so far above him, out of reach (“Is Y/N out of my league?” he asked once, chewing on his burger. “Yes,” chorused his friends. Lovely).

Sunghoon sighs and looks around at his room then begins to clean it up. He can’t have you seeing this mess (not that he’s being presumptuous in assuming you will be in his room or anything! This is Purely Hypothetical).

It’s only after he’s finished, and opened his presents from his family, and received the cake that his mother had delivered for him and the guys to enjoy that he finally opens the door and sees their faces.

Jake immediately tackles him in a hug, and Sunghoon feels like he can’t breathe as he squeezes him and shakes him around. His chest warms with happiness though, and through Jake’s shaking he glimpses Jungwon, Riki and Sunoo in front of him. Jake finally releases him and speaks.

“Sorry we’re late! We stopped for churros.”

Sunghoon furrows his brow. “You brought churros for the party?”

“No, I wanted churros,” Sunoo says, then takes a big bite. “Wan’ some?”

“I’m good,” he replies.

Riki pats Sunghoon on the back, then barges past him into the house and immediately begins examining it like some sort of teenage home inspector.

“Happy birthday,” says Sunoo, then follows Riki inside and immediately throws himself on the couch to finish his churro.

Jungwon repeats the sentiment then adds, “Jay and Heeseung are picking up the drinks and pizzas, they’ll be here soon.”

Thank god I made friends with Jay all those years ago, Sunghoon thinks, feeling very touched, Who else is rich enough to fund their friend’s birthday party?

“Very cool,” he replies, then drags Jungwon and Jake inside.

The other two arrive soon after and they enjoy a nice party without interruption for about 20 minutes until Sunghoon checks his phone and feels himself frown at it being void of notifications.

Are you busy, or did you forget his birthday? Do you just not care about him? If so, you should. He wore ripped jeans to impress you. He bleached his hair in the hopes you’d notice him (though that was also because he lost a bet with Jay). Is he just trying too hard?

“What’s up with you?” Heeseung asks him as he slaps a slice of pizza on top of another to make what is effectively a pizza sandwich.

“Nothing,” he mumbles.

Riki snatches his phone out of his hands and looks at the screen, where Sunghoon’s texts with you are open. “He’s pissy his girlfriend hasn’t texted him yet.”

“She’s not my girlfriend,” Sunghoon says sadly, and Jake gives him a pat on the back in consolation.

“Don’t even stress,” says Sunoo airily. Sunghoon doesn’t like how unaffected he seems. Shouldn’t everyone wallow in his despair with him since it’s his birthday?

The younger continues, “I asked her yesterday and she said she’ll definitely be here. So we just need to make sure you look super hot tonight.”

He feels a flicker of hope arise in him.

“It’ll probably take a lot of work, but we’ve got time.”

The flicker sizzles and dies. He glowers at Sunoo. “Gee, thanks.”

However, true to his word, Sunoo makes sure that Sunghoon does look super hot. It’s actually insane how hot he looks. He admires himself in the mirror. Maybe being a try hard isn’t such a bad thing if he ends up looking as gorgeous as this.

The party starts without a hitch and is soon in full swing. His friends are all starting to get very drunk (except Jungwon and Riki, because Riki is waiting until midnight for the sake of integrity and Jungwon is a Good friend who is waiting with him) and Sunghoon feels himself getting a little cloudy minded too. But as he stumbles a little through the hall, he still can’t see you.

But there is someone who looks just like you at the end of the hall and in the kitchen right now. He walks towards them, squinting a little and hearing them laugh and say goodbye to someone who’s evidently leaving the kitchen. Wow, they even sound like you. As he enters the room, the person perks up and greets him, and when he blinks the blurriness out of his eyes, you appear in front of him.

Oh. “Hi Y/N,” Sunghoon says, flushing.

“Hey Sunghoon, happy birthday.” God, your smile is pretty. Your outfit is pretty too, and your hair and your face and your hands, where…

There’s a wrapped box in your hands, and you follow his gaze down to it, then start in surprise as if just remembering it. “Oh, yeah, this is for you! Where should I put it?”

Sunghoon is still trying to comprehend that you’re really here and talking to him as he tells you, “Just on the table is fine.”

Okay. This is his chance. Now or never. “Do you want to go to the backyard for a bit? I need some air.”

Maybe he’s hallucinating a little because of the alcohol (or delusion) but he swears you blush. “Sure.”

You follow him out to the back. He’s surprisingly steady for someone who’s had as many drinks as he has, and stops out on the back porch, turning to face you.

You clear your throat as he tries to get his pounding heart under control. “So how’s your day been so far?”

He can hear it beating in his eardrums, and hopes you can’t hear it too. “Yeah, good, good. Um, can’t really complain. I ate pizza.”

Sunghoon is really not sure what to say now. But apparently the alcohol in his system does, as he’s speaking before he’s even processed the words.

“Can I kiss you?” he says at the same time as you say, “I have another present for you.”

The both of you stare at each other for a moment, not having heard the other’s words. “What?” you ask.

Sunghoon feels his stomach churn and hears an alarm go off in his head. “Um, it’s nothing. You go first.”

You look away shyly for a second. Yep, you’re definitely blushing, he thinks. “I said I have another present for you. I was kind of waiting for the right time to give it to you.”

He’s surprised, if nothing else. “You didn’t have to get me two presents.”

He’s also curious. “So what is it?”

“Can you close your eyes?” You’re avidly avoiding his gaze.

Sunghoon obeys, and the darkness behind his eyes makes him all the more aware of the sound of his heart. He’s nervous and scared and anxious and frightened, and then all of it is melting away because your lips press themselves to his and you’re kissing him. You’re kissing him, and he’s kissing you. Sunghoon’s stomach flutters and he brings his hands to your waist. It’s a very good kiss, and he can taste a little bit of cake on your tongue as it deepens.

Then you’re pulling back and Sunghoon is metaphorically and literally breathless. You kissed him. He kissed you.

“Happy birthday, Sunghoon.”

Sunghoon’s face breaks out into a grin and he takes your hand, lacing your fingers together. He tugs you into his chest and looks down at you. “Thanks.”

And he kisses you again.

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

The Marcusgate

It all started on a lazy Sunday, which was now Carmy's favorite day of the week, and with Syd and Carmy binge-watching Netflix's Blue Ribbon Baking Championship and remembering that Sandra Lee was a regular Bear's customer whenever she was in Chicago, so they pinged Richie to get her number and congratulate her for the show that Sydney was crazy about.

Syd maniacally took notes on all the recipes on the show and came up with variations of each that she planned to run by Marcus the next day. She was overjoyed when one of the bakers used lemon-macerated Concord grapes in his cake, and that excitement was quickly replaced by disappointment when that same baker was the first to leave the competition. And when she saw Sandra Lee in tears over a cheesecake, she knew she had to ask Marcus to add that cheesecake recipe to The Bear's menu as soon as possible, so she asked Carmy to contact Sandra and try to get all the intel.

In time, this led to all four of them starting a Blue Ribbon group chat that included Syd, Carmy, Sandra, and Marcus. They exchanged recipes and talked specifically about logistics to ensure plagiarism wasn't one of the ingredients when Marcus made The Bear's version of those desserts. Not only to avoid any potential legal complications that could affect the restaurant's or Marcus' reputation, but also because both Syd and Carmy knew that plagiarism was the fetish of those who can't, the lowest of crimes that only mediocre criminals commit, and they were way above that, as naturally so was Marcus. They also greeted each other on their respective birthdays and, of course, invited each other to dinner whenever that could be arranged.

One day, over one of those dinners that took place at Casa Sydcarmy, on a Sunday night when Sandra happened to be in town, she pitched an idea to the Michelin Star award-winning chefs: "What do you guys think of joining me as Executive Producers on my next project: Cordon Blue Ribbon?"

"Cordon Blue Ribbon?" Marcus was intrigued.

"You mean the Cordon Bleu version of your show?" Syd quipped.

"Exactly, and only Michelin Star award winner pastry chefs could compete on it and the prize would be a million dollars, instead of just $100K." Sandra's eyes met Marcus and stayed laser-focused on him.

Carmy was still silent and in disbelief when he looked at Marcus with a mix of curiosity and shock on his face, to know what he had to say to that.

"Sounds interesting..." Marcus added as he popped a mini cinnamon churro in his mouth, courtesy of Sandra who knew better than to show up empty-handed to a dinner party thrown by 2 Michelin Star award chefs.

"That's what I told my manager! When she came up with the idea, I was super interested right off the bat. You'll see, I have a 3-year contract with Netflix, and making another Pie Blue Ribbon cooking show wasn't going to cut it. It was more of the same, and innovation is a must in television if you want to stay relevant."

"You should know... having an Emmy under your belt, right?" Syd fangirl had entered the chat.

Sandra laughed and graciously accepted the compliment, meanwhile, Carmy had no idea what the ladies were talking about because he had never watched one of her shows before Syd came into his life, let alone a daytime Emmy award show.

Sandra went on and kept focusing on Marcus.

"So we decided to bring in more award-winning chefs and raise the stakes for this next project. That was the only way we could get the million-dollar prize approved. So... what do you think Marcus? Would you be on board? Would you be interested in competing for a million dollars?"

Marcus looked at Syd and Carmy, like asking for their greenlight and they both smiled and silently agreed.

So it was settled and when the show happened, he was going to be there, front and center. Sandra assured him.

Fast forward 6 months and the pre-production of the contest was being kick-started in Los Angeles.

Syd and Carmy declined the offer Sandra made them to be Associate Executive producers of the show so that Marcus could be a participant and no conflict of interests compromised him. Marcus, in exchange, offered them a cut of the prize if he won and Syd and Carmy agreed to only take credit on social media about being his sponsors and mentors but vehemently declined every penny he offered.

"You owe us nothing, Marcus, this is all you," Syd said.

"What are you talking about? Carmy believed in me when all I knew how to barely make were buns and you pushed me to be better, Sydney, to push myself. I wouldn't have gone to Copenhagen if it weren't for you, guys..."

"But because of your amazing work we also got a Michelin Star, Marcus. That star was a team effort, you're one of us. That's more than enough payback if you ask me." Carmy clarified with a: "Period" tone.

Marcus heard the subtext and was quick to be on the same page "Heard, chef."

Shortly after Marcus was wowing the judges with his creations, all 100% by Marcus Brooks. He took no inspo from the recipes he got from the chat he shared with Sandra, Syd, and Carmy. His only inspiration came from his loved ones, his affections, and people that he had met along the way and that had had a true impact on his life. Including Luca and Michael.

Marcus slayed the competition one killer dessert at a time.

There were 9 rounds and the grand finale. The level of complexity was evergrowing.

Marcus was a serene force of nature on that set.

He bagged the first round with a peach pie served in a sundae dish with a scoop of lemon buttermilk gelato at the base topped with balsamic caramel sauce and a half-moon shaped, fresh peach hand pie. The hand pie was hot, just out of the oven so the contrast between that and the ice cream was what really got the judges. They were amazed by Marcus' talent, from day one and knew he was final-round material from the get-go. There was no doubt about it in their minds because he was not only incredibly skilled but also calm and focused. He didn't falter under pressure.

The second round was also in Marcus' pocket when he served a petite croissant over a brass cooling rack dotted with Pearl sugar and honey filled with a gooey Délice de Bourgogne cheese and finished at the table with black truffle, inspired by Chicago's Kasama. The judges' feedback was amazing. They said it was exquisitely clever to use this as a cheese course. "The technique and execution were exemplary," they assured.

Then it was the turn of the most luxurious and rarest ingredient of them all: Criollo.

For those viewers at home who may have not been too familiar with this ingredient, Sandra gave a brief presentation:

"Criollo is a very rare and precious variety of cacao that was at risk of extinction for many years. It is the cacao of the Mayas and the Aztecs, the cultivation of which has been progressively abandoned owing to its low yield. It is a delicate cacao and makes up just 0.01% of global cacao production. Tonight, our chefs will use it as the primary ingredient to bring us the Wow factor we are looking for and that will earn them immunity in the next round. Let the Criollo games begin!"

With that, Sandra dismissed the participants and allowed them to go to their stations to start working their magic. They only had 50 minutes to make it happen and make it count.

Marcus decided to go with something a little bit different. He crafted his chocolate pyramid with a creamy ball of guava sorbet and a tasty coconut foam. He also crowned it with a thin sugar collar sprinkled with sesame seeds, flecks of red chili, and a little black garlic, providing complementary flavors and a subtle warmth too.

Immunity was his bitch.

For the next round, seeing as he was untouchable he decided to go rogue, he had the liberty to make whatever he wanted so he decided to make what he called: "Dreaming of Lod Chong". The judges were blown away when he served his creation in a small bowl that displayed this square of pandan parfait in a sauce of salted coconut cream. Marcus added specially treated crushed ice as a final flourish, too. Those little ice pieces looked exactly like diamonds. It was an unexpected success, expertly balancing sweet and salty notes. "The ice also added great texture. It was a solid finish.” That was what the judges had to say about it. Again, Marcus blew them away.

He kept advancing to the next rounds till he got to the semi-finals and the judges put the chefs through the wringer like never before.

The assignment was to make the outside of the dessert look like the main ingredient on the inside. The goal was not to sacrifice flavor to achieve uncanny and realistic resemblance, plus never losing sight of creativity and originality.

Most contestants failed the test because they presented obvious desserts that anyone could find in any respected bakery.

But Marcus, Marcus Brooks told a different sweet story with his dessert. And it wasn't even that sweet. It was acid and sweet and perfect.

Mojito Pie.

This was a memorable pie, the judges said. It had a buttery graham cracker crust topped by a very light lime and mint mousse that was dusted in lime powder to resemble an actual lime. This was served with a lime sorbet and spritzed with rum.

"It was adorable to look at and even better to eat," Sandra concluded.

That pie granted him a spot in the final.

Marcus was tense for the first time ever in the competition. He hadn't been that nervous in a long time. It was unlike him to be so high-strung.

Two days later, when the final episode of the show was being shot, Syd and Carmy surprised Marcus and showed up at the studio, along with Chester, for emotional support. The Bear was closed, Marcus was that important to them. The only other time when the restaurant was closed was on the occasion of Ever's funeral service.

Now it was Marcus' turn to be blown away. He was over the moon. And Carmy tried to give him some sort of pep talk but all he managed to say was: "You're already a winner, Marcus, just don't fuck it up and you'll be fine."

Syd dramatically rolled her eyes at Carmy's words and added: "Marcus, don't think about the prize ahead, think about what you've accomplished so far. You got this. And we got you."

Marcus smiled at her kind words and then the little moment Syd and him were having was interrupted by Chester's heavy palm on his back that sounded like a slap but was meant to be supportive and encouraging.

"My man! The million-dollar chef!"

"Not yet, Chester. Not yet!"

"What are you talking about?! That big fat check is yours, Marcus. What show have you been watching? They freaking love you, man. This finale is just paperwork, go get 'em!"

Marcus couldn't help but snort and nod. "Will do, Chest, will do, thanks, man!"

So, when the judges announced it was showtime, Marcus' entire life as a baker flashed before his eyes.

The final assignment was a triple one: They had to come up with a 3 step-sweet menu inspired by their past, present, and future as pastry chefs. And there was a catch: The future had to be a sweet version of a savory dish and look on the outside like its original savory version. They only had 3 hours to complete all 3.

Marcus knew he could pull a trifecta off, but he was afraid that pulling it in only 3 hours was pushing his boundaries as a baker a bit too far.

He went for it anyway.

For the past version of himself as a pastry chef, he decided to make "The Sydney's Donut", which was nothing but a Copenhagen-inspired and elevated version of the donut that Carmy had destroyed like a little bitch. That one was easy but he elevated it by presenting it on an edible marshmallow carved bowl.

Marcus' present at The Bear after winning a Michelin star was far more fancy, so he served the judges a "Turkish Delight, Almond, Manjari, Chocolate, and Rose." This chocolate bar hid a light, creamy chocolate center with a lovely layer of almond panna cotta. Arranged on top were Turkish delights, almonds, crystallized rose petals, and a quenelle of silky smooth almond ice cream. This dessert was currently part of The Bear's menu and it was the most popular choice among its customers with a sophisticated sweet tooth.

For the future, Marcus took inspiration from Syd and Carmy as a whole, and their collective impact on his life. Their love inspired him and so did the invisible string that seemed to connect them long before they met. When Marcus heard the whole story about Sydney's favorite meal and saw the pictures she had taken, he was deeply moved by it because it looked like Carmy had literally put his heart on the plate for her and it was exactly the kind of story that his mom used to love and cherish. So in honor of Syd and Carmy's love story and of his late mom, to whom he was going to dedicate the victory if he took the prize home, Marcus decided to make a fake heart-shaped Paupiette of hamachi with blood orange sauce. For the Paupiette of hamachi, he used molded white chocolate that he wrapped in a fine vanilla crepe and carefully colored with some cinnamon powder for it to look precisely like the original fish. The blood orange sauce was based on its original recipe minus the garlic and the chili flakes and he elegantly topped all that with a thin sweet potato chip sprinkled with sweet chili flakes to replicate the exact aesthetic of the fateful dish that proved to be Sydney's favorite.

The alchemic reaction was epic when the judges tasted that masterpiece. There was no more contest and the other two chefs knew it even before the unanimous verdict was announced.

All 3 of Marcus' works were mindblowing but the Paupiette of hamachi with blood orange sauce was not only flawless, but its appearance was exactly the same as Carmy's dish. There was no way to tell them apart.

To wrap up the award ceremony and his acceptance speech Marcus was asked to say a few words about each dessert on his menu and go over the reason behind each choice. When the time came to explain why he had chosen to make his own version of Paupiette of hamachi with orange sauce he said that Sydney, his mentor, and friend, had confided in him a long time ago that the best meal she had ever had was that dish, by Carmen Berzatto, back in NYC when he was the best CDC in the world and they hadn't even met yet. Marcus went on to mention that Carmy, or "Bear," as he called him, was also his friend and mentor and that without them, he probably wouldn't be there. And that he was forever thankful to both.

Carmy was saucer-eyed, he had no idea that he had made the best meal she had ever had. A dish he instinctively made for her, breaking all the rules and defying his boss' direct orders.

Syd looked at Carmy with that intense yet sweet but never condescending look she reserved for him only and took his hand as she smiled at him and tightened her grip.

Carmy smiled back and then re-directed his attention to Marcus when he elaborated on the background story of his winning dessert when Sandra said: "Wow! That is unbelievable and disarmingly sweet! You're telling me he made the best meal she ever had before they met and now they are husband and wife?!"

"Yes." Marcus smiled and looked at them.

Sandra was beside herself and declared: "That's the most romantic story I ever heard! Did Sydney just tell you one day: 'Oh by the way, Paupiette of Hamachi with blood red orange sauce is my favest and Carmy made it for me before we met in New York when he was the best CDC in the world?' Just like that? Is that a story she just tells everybody to, I don't know, break the ice?"

Marcus was finally loosening up and laughing out loud and he casually said: "No, no, we were having dinner at her place and..."

Carmy didn't hear what Marcus said next, he just looked at Syd as if he had just been shot and was bleeding to death right before her eyes and went: "WAIT, WHAT?!!?"

A/N: This fic was inspired by that Netflix baking show that I just binged entirely in 2 days over the weekend and Marcus' recipes come straight from the Michelin Guide because I can't even make French toast... My meta on the dish is embedded in the first mention of it.

Enjoy! 💋