#this will not be the last time Sirius sleeps in Bella's bed

[metalomagnetic]

I re-read "it runs in the blood" and am now absolutely obsessed with the Bella/Rodolphus and Sirius dynamic. I definitely need Rodolphus' perspective on Sirius and Bella's relationship. How he would come to Lestrange Manor as a little boy just for Bella. Somehow, it feels like Rodolphus was a very distant older brother/role model (anti-role model) for mini-Sirius. If the age difference between Sirius and Bella/Rodolphus was bigger, they would really be like a very dysfunctional family (they do, but there is still a sibling relationship system there)

Not exactly what you asked for, but here is a little funny something:

----

As soon as he enters the manor, he hears loud, shrill laughter over the blaring music.

Rodolphus already has a headache, he doesn’t need this on top of it.

He makes his way towards one of the living rooms, the noise getting louder with each step, irritating him.

“Control your temper,” Orion just told him after the Wizengamot session that took forever, testing Rodolphus’ patience. “You are no longer a child.”

His brother is a child, however, a fifteen-year-old fool, and when Rodolphus peeks through the partially open door, he sees Walden’s sister perched on Rabastan’s knee, bottles of alcohol all around them.

Other little fools are drinking and dancing all around, and-

Fuck it, Rodolphus thinks, deciding against going inside and scolding them.

Fuck it. He’s tired of attempting to guard Evelyn’s virtue, or the Macnair’s good name, when clearly no one in that family bothers to do the same.

What a disgrace. The only girl in a gathering of boys, sitting there on his brother’s lap.

Bella used to be the only girl in-

Yes, but Bellatrix never behaved like this. Oh, she’d sit in a room full of men, but she commanded respect, with her back straight, her eyes narrowed, and she was interested in talking politics, not climbing into boys’ laps.

With a shrug, he decides not to waste his breath anymore, and he turns around and heads upstairs.

It’s already close to midnight, the session took hours, boring old farts loving to hear themselves talk, arguing over nothing. Even Lucius looked half asleep at Abraxas’ side by the end of it.

He heads to Bella’s room, instead of his. He rarely uses his own room, Rodolphus hasn’t stepped inside it for at least a few months, since the wedding.

Blissfully silent few months, with his brother at Hogwarts. Rabastan has only returned home for three days and already Rodolphus wants to strangle him.

He discards his annoyances, replaced with the anticipation of sneaking into Bella’s bed and holding her close.

Perhaps if she hasn’t fallen asleep, they could engage in more pleasurable activities.

Alas, when he carefully opens the door, and the room is shrouded in darkness, he doesn’t feel disappointed.

Just holding her close as he drifts asleep is a pleasure he still can’t believe he has the right to.

He walks to her dresser, where half of his clothes are, his footsteps muffled by the thick carpet. He discards his clothes, decides against searching for a sleeping shirt, and heads to the bed.

Bella’s sleeping form, her back turned to him, her hair all over the pillow, already makes him smile.

Until he gets close enough to see she’s not alone in bed.

On her other side, snuggled into her-

“Fucking Blacks!”

Bella blinks awake, shifts her head, though her arms remain around her cousin.

This was sweet, two years ago, when Rodolphus would risk his head, and sneak into her room in her father’s manor, only to find her there with Sirius in her bed. It was sweet. He was a child, and it filled Rodolphus with longing, imagining what a good mother Bellatrix will one day make to their own child.

But Sirius is no longer a child.

He’s grown a lot since the wedding, it seems. When he pulls the sheets of them, Sirius looks closer to a man than a child, long limbs intertwined with Bella’s, twice as thick at her, his jaw, nestled into her neck, is sharper now, had lost all pretence of a boyish form.

At least he’s dressed.

Bella smiles at him, and half of his anger melts. Well, all of his anger melts, but the annoyance doesn’t.

“He’s a grown man!” he snarls, and Bella shushes him, as if her cousin truly is a baby, not to be disturbed from his precious sleep.

“He’s thirteen!” she argues, in a whisper.

“He’s as tall as you are!”

“Shh!” Sirius stirs, but doesn’t wake, only tightens his hold on Bella.

My Bella.

This is worse than Evelyn in Rabastan’s lap! This is a married woman in bed with another man. Man-child, fine, but Sirius and Bella walk around calling each other soulmates.

That was sweet, too, years ago, when he only came up to her bellybutton.

“I haven’t seen him in months,” Bella whispers, with a pout. “I missed my sweet boy!”

“I didn’t!”

“Shh!”

“Stop shushing me!” he demands, but to his embarrassment, he does so in a whisper, too.

“Climb in,” she offers, carefully extracting an arm out of Sirius’ hold, patting the mattress behind her.

“I’m not-! Kick him out!”

“He’s drunk. Your brother let him drink half a bottle of fire whiskey!”

“So what?”

Rodolphus cannot believe he’s made to whisper in his own house, so as not to wake the boy in his wife’s bed.

“What if he throws up in his sleep?”

“Are you kidding me?!”

“Shh! Come on, climb in!”

“I’m not sharing your bed with him!”

She shrugs. “Then leave and let me sleep.”

Unbelievable.

Rodolphus stomps out- though he takes care to do it silently. Oh, how he’d love to slam the door behind him, but…he doesn’t.

He sulks, once inside his own room. His bed looks cold and uninviting.

Perhaps he should go downstairs and yell at his brother. It’s his fault Sirius is in Bella’s bed, after all, if he got the boy drunk.

What he should do, is hunt Orion down and drag him here, to get his son.

But Orion is also probably in a bed he shouldn’t be in, and he wouldn’t be best pleased with the interruption.

He lectured Rodolphus enough in the past few hours, no need to expose himself to that cold glare of his for more than it is needed.

Twenty minutes later, Rodolphus carefully climbs into Bella’s bed.

He’ll just have to pretend it’s like two years ago, and that Sirius is still small and cute, and not this horrible tempered teenager he’s turning into.

He was never cute, he remembers. Always a little shit. But it was easier to suffer him back then.

Bella giggles when Rodolphus settles at her back. “You’re such a baby,” she whispers. “Men never grow up, it seems.”

“Shh,” Rodolphus admonishes, mockingly, and she only giggles harder. “When will he be gone?”

“He leaves for Greece in two days.”

Thank the gods. Now Rodolphus has to find a way to get rid of his brother as well, send him to visit some of their relatives in France, maybe, and he can have his wife and his manor and his peace back.

His irritation is gone, however. If he doesn’t think too hard about it, it’s as if Sirius isn’t there at all.

He rests his head against Bella’s shoulder, and he falls asleep relatively fast.

In the morning, he wakes with Sirius grinning above him. “You snore,” he informs Rodolphus, and before Rodolphus can throw him out of the bed, Bella comes out of the bathroom and gives him a warning glare.

[mrstellmeafuckingsecret]

wallytrix……

OKAY so i was gonna answer this last night but then it was 2am and i was studying and then school and then i took a nap but like whatevr I LOVE U oka so

tw brief mention of sh, dubcon and france. also like incest 🙀

ill make another post about this but since cygnus was only thirteen when bellatrix was born, i hc walburga raised her and adored her. andromeda came two years later and she raised her for a bit too, but she's only had the capacity to love one person at a time. bellatrix is four/fiveish when cygnus and druella graduate and she moves to france with them (narcissa's born after they've moved), but walburga checks in biweekly and bellatrix already calls her mum ,, and then when she's seven-ish, walburga's visits become less and less often till because she's pregnant, and after sirius is born she never visits except for occasions. (she coddles bellatrix a little more, but she has a new center of attention and it's awful.)

oh and for like the first eight-ish years of bellatrix's life she'd been in this tug of war between walburga and her parents, and then walburga just suddenly let go after raising bellatrix &her parents aren't as sweet as walburga and walburga always spoils bellatrix when she's there simply because she wants bellatrix to be fussy and bring her up when walburga's not there but like for bellatrix she misses her 24/7 and she's never been normal about her obsessions, ever. !! *

anyway so bellatrix's crush/obsession starts young, probably around that age, but she doesn't know it's that yet. she knows when she comes back after her first year at hogwarts (cygnus and druella moved to england) and she catches walburga changing and then she,,, keeps stalking her. and peaks in her shower. and she sticks to walburga every time sirius isn't in the room (rare) and goes back to sit in her lap and wants her to kiss her everywhere like she did when she was a baby but like she doesnt,,, "bella you're too old to be sitting in my lap" "bellatrix you're being childish" "bella you're not a baby anymore" , and it hurts but also like she kinda saw this coming. so she just tries to be very grown up and that also doesn't work. but yk what does work !? whenevr cygnus is dicky she goes to walburga and she 1. sets him in his place 2. comforts her and treats her gently so like fourteen yo bellatrix is slitting her wrists hoping walburga would kiss them better. and then she cuts other parts but walburga won't kiss them better ☹️

also little selfcest (?) moment when bella's like thirteen she's starting to realize how much she looks like walburga so she's constantly jerking off in front of the mirror 😟

. * even when bellatrix is older and walburga's let go, druella wants walburga to know bellatrix isnt hers and makes sure bellatrix is showing off every visit ("what book are you reading again? the OWL level one?" "i think you're mixing your japanese with mandarin, sweetheart, don't you know walburga doesn't speak japanese?") so druella knows what she lost and it's a way to get walburga's attention for bellatrix but walburga never pays any mind and bellatrix is strugglinggg.

anyway. sirius runs away and the only person happier than regulus is bellatrix . walburga's not exactly right after that, but she does prize bellatrix around like her own daughter and bellatrix can smell her underwear can sleep in her bed and shit and ermm walburga has a drinking problem and bellatrix takes advantage of that ,. it's very "ill make you feel so good" "i love you so much" kind of dubcon where she doesn't want to fully acknowledge what she's doing is wrong. anyway so they fuck a couple times &walburga is usually under the influence of something but she's. very dependent on bellatrix. and then regulus dies and she's completely sucked into her, then orion does and she's lonely and scared and needs bellatrix - but bellatrix's found a new obession (voldick!!!)

[quillkiller]

I MISS SIRIUS JR WHAT IS HE UP TO

I MISS HIM TOO IVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT HIM..

he had a miserable christmas actually.. 😞 it’s the year right before he runs off and finds wolfstar and they take him in, his last year at grimmauld….. there was a huge feast, massive noble house of black type of celebration, with his cousin and aunt and uncle and grandmother and grandfather. they spent christmas at gimmauld obviously, and regulus played the perfect host while walburga spend the whole time glaring daggers at bellatrix who’s corrupted her son and made him weak, acting as if she’s the heir. ’she’s just a pretender!’ she whispers to her husband, but he’s not listening, just lets walburga seethe on her own, tired of paying attention to the downfall of the noble most ancient house of black. narcissa and bellatrix barely speak these days, less and less each year, less and less since andy was disowned. they’re on opposite sides of the room at all times, opposite sides of the dinner table. it’s stiff and stilted when they speak, and their kids don’t get along, and they’re both convinced their own child is better than the others. and it’s not like lucius and regulus have anything in common… or so they believe :/. lucius, a woman, playing the part of a the perfect pureblood husband, heir to the malfoy manor, looking at his family with disdain and thinking about arthur and what he might be doing with his billion disgusting children for christmas and hating him. regulus, not even hiding that he takes on the wifely duties, and happily so. his entire world is bellatrix, his wife-husband, being good and lovely and her favorite always. he’s not interested in anyone else under their roof, you can barely speak to him unless it’s about his wife. he’s not interested in conversation if it’s not about his perfect marriage !!!!

and then there’s sirius jr, quiet and angry and trying to hide from his family. but draco, antagonistic and jealous, wont let him. he finds him in every corner he hides in, provoking him and picking fights, and sirius is too proud to let him win, so he takes the bait every single time. they cut each other where it hurts, sharp and methodical until it becomes physical, and they start shoving and punching and pushing. until they wreck something in the house, bloody noses and bloody knuckles, spitting venom and being found by their mothers. and so their mothers start yelling at each other, loud and shrill and hostile, and lucius doesn’t get involved because he jusy doesn’t care, he just lets narcissa take the hit while he gets drunk downstairs, punishing draco properly once they get home, not even looking narcissa in the eyes. and regulus stands behind his wife, because she knows best, and so he doesn’t get involved either, but for different reasons….. because bellatrix is man of the house, and regulus will deal with his son accordingly when everyone else goes home, for embarrassing his wife and their name, and then he will plead for bellas forgiveness for sirius jr’s outburst, sweet and obedient and lovely, stroking bella’s ego until she’s satisfied. but not before giving him the silent treatmeant for a few days. then there’s walburga, putting all the blame on her sons wife, it’s all her fault and she ruined christmas, and can’t even keep her son, the heir, in check. which ends up with regulus blowing up on her, and now they’re all screaming and yelling in all different directions and christmas is well and properly ruined, and desserts haven’t even been served :/

bella, reg & sirius all go to sleep in separate beds that night. grimmauld place feels like a graveyard for the next couple of days, and that’s before the pretentious pureblood christmas and new years galas they have to attend have even begun….. where they once again have to appear like the perfect family :~)

[mrsfrecklesmarauders]

"You can leave now if you want"

Regulus got out of the trance of watching Cissy sleep peacefully. He had decided to stay with his cousins after the fight from last night.

Narcissa had cried her heart out because of Lucius Malfoy. Everyone had known he had been a twat, everyone had warned Cissy. But she had been blindly in love.

Regulus had been wondering lately how people become so stupid and blind for love. If it hurt that much, then why did people bother? Why did love have to be a tragedy? Andromeda had left the family because of Tonks. Sirius had hit their father because of Lupin. Was it worth all the madness? To betray your own family? To betray yourself?

Regulus had never experienced something like that.

Bellatrix was sending him a hateful glare from her spot beside her sister on the bed. Reg had taken the couch. She looked so small and pale without makeup.

It had been ages since they had slept in the same room. Regulus remembered how the five of them used to do sleepovers. Like the time Sirius decided to put glue on Cissy's hair in the middle of the night and they woke to her loud screams. Or the time Andy brought a bunny and it pooped on Sirius's sleeping bag and he smelled. Bella's creepy terrorific stories about the Boogie Man. Those made Regulus so scared he peed himself and they all made fun of him in the morning.

It had been fun anyway. They had been a normal family back then.

Now Bellatrix hated Regulus's guts, he was sure. She had become a bitter woman. And even more scary than before.

"I want to make sure she's okay" Regulus gestured to Cissy.

"She'll be fine" Bella whispered "I'll make sure of it...." she added "And I'll make sure Malfoy pays for whatever he did to her"

Lucius was going to propose last night. He had shown Regulus the ring. Although the bomb of his infidelity had exploted before that. Seven years of relationship must've meant something for him but no.

"All they want from us is our money and prestige" Bella said mostly to herself as she caressed Cissy's blond hair "That's why we have to be careful"

Regulus sat up and rubbed his eyes.

"Doesn't Rabastan want your money as well?" Regulus asked carefully, remembering how he had found them last night "What are you doing with him, Bella? He's a nasty pig"

Bellatrix tried not to react to those words.

"That's different!" she snapped "It is strategic" she swallowed "It was about time our families merged and made business together" she explained "It was supoosed to happen when Rodolphus and And...."

Regulus didn't say anything. He hadn't said anything about how Sirius had dragged him to see Andromeda when they ran off Alphard's funeral. Then before Christmas as well. Reg was scared to say anything. What the family might do, might say. It had been nice seeing Andy again. He didn't want to be taken that away.

But he could see how the mere thought of Andromeda was hurting Bellatrix.

"Now it is Rab's responsability and mine as well" Bella continued "It is the only way Grandfather would consider me... If I marry him..."

Regulus felt a knot on his throat. He hadn't liked the way Rabastan was treating his cousin last night. Trying to take advantage of her.

"I'll do anything to own The Family's Company myself"

"Even marrying that arsehole, Bella?" Regulus snapped, getting up from the couch and walking to the bed and looking at Cissy "If Malfoy is bad, then Rabastan is worse. I don't understand how can you let it happen"

"It's for a greater good!" Bellatrix spat "Sometimes is about doing the right thing for your family and yourself" she rolled her eyes "At least I am doing something! Where is the precious Heir, ha? Where was he last night when we needed him? When Grandfather lost his shit and yelled at all of us?"

Regulus understood what Bella was saying. It happened when Andromeda left Rodolphus on the altar. She wasn't there to see the consequences, how Grandfather hit his Uncle Cygnus in front of everyone, how he humiliated Bella, Cissy and his Auntie Druella.

I was happening the same with Sirius. Even if the rest of the family officially didn't know how Sirius had left for real this time. Even if Grandfather didn't know all the nasty business Orion had behind his back, that Walburga was aware of course. Grandfather didn't know what Sirius had said that night. How he said he was gay and now was dating a boy.

Only the absence of Sirius in the party had made Pollux scream at Regulus's parents like a maniac, toss things, hit tables. He was ten times worse than Orion, Walburga and Uncle Cygnus combined.

All of them were scared of him.

"I told you he...he's a-at Hogwarts with his fri-iends" Regulus wished he hadn't sounded that nervous.

Bellatrix was right. At least she and Regulus had to witness those horrible moments. And the one's causing them are not around.

Bella scoffed "Please..." she said with disdain "He's never around. He doesn't care about being the Heir or anything related to the family" then her eyes travelled to her sleeping sister and stroked her hair once more "They are never around when we need them the most"

Bellatrix kissed Cissy's head to hide her tears. Regulus didn't need to ask who she was referring to.

It used to be five of them. They used to be family before, Maybe stronger to face anything. Their parents and Grandfather. Not anymore. It was just three of them. Maybe Sirius and Andromeda didn't care.

"You're right" he whispered, his cousin looked at him curiosly "They are never around anymore"

Bella twisted her mouth "So I guess it would be the two of us competeting for the crown, ha?" she smiled "Watch it, Reggie. I fight hard"

Regulus found himself smiling. It sounded ridiculous that he would be considered. Grandfather Pollux had always hated him and considered him weak. Although with Sirius out of the picture, it would be hell. Pollux would need an Heir somehow. He was the only male grandchild now.

"Okay, Bella" Reg said giving Cissy's arm a soft pat.

[wxlfstxrisbest]

Last Chance

Remus hummed to herself as she flipped through the stack of mail sitting on the counter. She took a sip of coffee nearly spitting it out again onto the invitation in her hand. The invitation to Sirius’ wedding. They hadn’t spoken in a year and a half, having broken up shortly after they’d left Hogwarts.

“You know what my mother is like Remus! She barely even tolerates that we’re friends, could you imagine what she would do if she found out that we’re dating?”

Remus slammed the cupboard door ignoring the jump it caused Sirius to make. She didn’t want to be a secret anymore. She wanted Sirius to leave her family completely the way that they’d talked about late at night behind the privacy of silencing spells and bed curtains. “I’m done being a secret Sirius. We agreed to stop hiding when we moved in together.” It wasn’t even like she wanted to tell Sirius’ mother or anyone really that they were dating. She was just so tired of having to pretend that they were nothing more than roommates, than friends. She wanted to start the life together that they’d planned. The wedding, the cottage by the sea, the two kids and a dog. She wanted nothing more than to continue being the moon to Sirius’ stars, but she couldn’t hide anymore. “If you can’t, or won’t, then we’re done.”

Shaking her head to clear away the memory she opened the invitation reading the handwritten note on the top of the card.

Remus,

I know we’re not exactly on speaking terms at the moment, but you’re still one of my best friends and I hope you can make it to the wedding. I miss you. Please come.

All my love,

Sirius

Yeah right. Remus thought to herself throwing the card down on the counter. She didn’t have time for this. She had to get to work in twenty minutes. Setting her empty cup into the sink she grabbed her car keys locking the door behind her. She’d just politely decline the invitation and send it off when she got home. Why would she want to go to Sirius’ wedding? Why did Sirius’ even invite her?

When Remus arrived home that night she had almost convinced herself that she’d imagined the whole thing. Of course Sirius wasn’t getting married. She would never do what her family expected of her and marry Adrian Avery or Evan Rosier or whoever it was this time. Grabbing the mail she’d left on the counter that morning she sat down at the bar in her apartment to eat dinner frowning when she got to the invitation. So it wasn’t a mistake. Sirius really was marrying - Remus checked the invitation again – Rabastan Lestrange? Wasn’t Bellatrix married to his brother?

Glancing over the card her eyes caught on the date. Tomorrow. Sirius was getting married tomorrow and she had sent her an invitation the day before. So much for missing her. Shaking her head Remus tossed the card across the table as another memory flashed behind her closed eyes.

“We’ll have the best wedding won’t we? Nothing like what Bella or Cissa had. Just us and our family.” Sirius had whispered to Remus late at night a month or so before the end of their seventh year. “You’ll be the most beautiful bride. And I’ll be able to call you my wife.”

Blinking her eyes against the burn of tears Remus decided she’d had enough reminiscing on what her life was supposed to be and went to change for bed. So what if it was only seven p.m. This was her house, and she was an adult. She could do as she damn well pleased.

Climbing into bed Remus closed her eyes despite knowing sleep probably wouldn’t come for her for a while yet. Trying to think of anything but Sirius of course led her to think of nothing but Sirius, and she cursed herself a hundred times over for falling in love with Sirius Black, and Sirius for making her fall in love with her. Finally exhausted enough to sleep as the clock chimed out the midnight hour Remus buried herself in her blankets closing her eyes, praying for a restful sleep.

Click here to read on AO3 or click below to continue

Remus looked around the room she found herself in. It looked like the dormitory in Hogwarts, but the details were fuzzy around the edges. That couldn’t be right. She remembered every detail of those rooms as if she was there yesterday. Shaking her head quickly she realized she was in the Room of Requirement. How did she get here? What was going on?

“Hi baby. Sleep well?”

Spinning around at Sirius’ voice coming from behind her Remus shook her head again. Sirius shouldn’t be here. Looking back at the other girl her eyes caught on the silver necklace around her neck. The one that Remus herself had given to her in their fifth year. Except it didn’t feel right that it was sitting there against Sirius’ throat. The words ‘what’s going on’ were on the tip of her tongue but when she opened her mouth nothing came out.

Sirius smiled at Remus the same way she always had, and Remus decided to just go with it. She wasn’t sure why everything felt slightly off. Wiping her hands on her school skirt she reached for Sirius humming softly as she stepped close enough for Remus to hug her tightly. “Hi.” She whispered pressing her lips against Sirius’ forehead quickly before grasping her hand and leading her to the couch on the other side of the room.

What was possibly mere moments or hours later Remus found herself listening to Sirius talk about their future together. Where they would live, what kind of jobs they would have. It was a conversation they’d had many times before, but Remus let her continue on and on starstruck by her girlfriend. She really was the luckiest girl in Hogwarts.

“-and we’ll live next door to James and Lily of course. It’ll just be – Are you even listening?” Sirius huffed out a laugh as she pouted. Remus wanted to kiss the pout off her lips. Leaning forward to do just that she got a weird sense of déjà vu, like something wasn’t right.

Jerking herself upright in bed Remus panted hard flinging her hand out to shut off her alarm. She hadn’t dreamed about Sirius in months. She knew what had caused the dream, and she was more than a little upset that Sirius had reached out after almost a year and a half of silence. It was like she’d said. They weren’t on speaking terms. They hadn’t been since the night Remus left, since the night of their final fight. She had to go to that wedding. She had to know why Sirius had reached out now.

Hours later Remus arrived at the wedding. She was a little surprised that it wasn’t at one of the Black family manors. Guess Sirius finally put her foot down on something, Remus thought bitterly from where she was standing half hidden in the shadows of the very last row of seats. She hadn’t yet spotted anybody that she knew, it was mostly older members of the Black and Lestrange families. She knew Sirius was here somewhere getting ready. She wanted to find her, to get her answers and leave, but she knew that was pointless. Sirius never gave her answers, and she was honestly a little afraid of looking her in the eyes again. Afraid of having her clumsily mended heart re-broken.

After a few minutes of standing there music started and people appeared from nowhere to take their seats. Every head was turned towards the doors as they opened, and Sirius stepped through them looking as beautiful as Remus remembered. Her dark hair was loose around her shoulders, her makeup was perfect, but her smile wasn’t real. Remus knew her real smile and it wasn’t this. Watching Sirius’ eyes dart around the crowded room, Remus wanted to step out from the shadows, to let Sirius know that she was here, but she found herself frozen in fear. What if Sirius didn’t actually want her here? What if she’d only sent the invitation thinking that Remus would never come?

While her thoughts spiraled down a dark hole the binder of the vows had begun his speech. Remus wasn’t sure how long he had been speaking, but the words ‘Speak now if there are any objections’ rang in her ears as her feet carried her into the middle of the aisle without any conscious thought on her part. She heard a few horrified gasps around her, and she knew that everyone was staring. She was even sure that a few people were ready to attempt to cast the killing curse on her for daring to interrupt. But she didn’t care. She only had eyes for Sirius.

Remus could feel herself shaking as she walked down the aisle keeping her eyes on Sirius until she was directly in front of her. “I-” She stopped clearing her throat as quietly as she could before trying again. “I miss you. Please don’t marry him.” She whispered loud enough for only Sirius to hear her. “Don’t say yes, let’s run away now. Don’t say anything until you hear me out.” Stepping away Remus held her hand out terrified that Sirius wouldn’t take it, that she’d done all this for nothing, that Sirius would deny her again, when she felt the familiar weight of her hand in hers. Tears burned in her eyes as she heard shouting behind her, and she didn’t dare turn to see who it was. She didn’t dare turn away from her Sirius who was tugging her close again leading her from the room.

Stumbling after Sirius as she ran down the hall they were in they slammed through the doors leading outside where Sirius apparated them both to their old flat. Remus fell down to the floor as Sirius let go of her, her shaky legs unable to hold her any longer. She’s always hated apparition. “Sirius I…” Remus trailed off unable to voice her thoughts as the world finally stopped spinning around her.

“Stop. There’s no need to explain anything,” Sirius started as she sat on the floor next to Remus uncaring of how she was probably ruining her dress. “It’s you and me baby. It’s always been you and me. I never should have let you leave that night. I should have followed you. I still love you.” Her last words were quiet, almost too quiet, as if she hadn’t planned to say them at all. “I sent you an invitation hoping that you’d come save me. Hoping that you still love me.”

Remus wasn’t sure what to say to that. Of course she still loved Sirius. She had never truly stopped. Leaning forward she looked into Sirius’ grey eyes, searching them for any sign of hesitation before she pressed their lips together in a chaste kiss. “I do. I never stopped.” Dropping her head against Sirius’ shoulder she hummed a melody softly as her eyes fell closed.

Later that night sitting on the couch Sirius turned to face Remus waiting for her to look back at her. Once she finally had she lifted her hand to cradle it against Remus’ cheek. “I’m really glad you came today. I only agreed to the marriage because Mother was going to marry me off to Victor Goyle if I refused Rabastan’s proposal. I had no other option.” Dropping her hand she tangled their fingers together between them. Remus opened her mouth to speak before Sirius cut her off. “Baby I didn’t say a single vow. I’m so glad you were around when they said speak now. You knowing that is really important to me.”

Remus stared down at their hands as Sirius spoke unsure of what to say when her eyes caught on the band on her middle finger. Smiling she rubbed her finger over it, the familiar shape of the Welsh knot digging into the pad of her thumb. Sirius had kept her promise ring. Remus just had to find a way to get it back so she could ask her to marry her with it. She’d always intended to have that be Sirius’ engagement ring, and it made her heart beat faster to know that she’d kept it on even when she was marrying another person. “I’m glad I was there too.” She murmured leaning in to kiss her, that sense of déjà vu washing over her again, the same as that morning. She decided it was a good thing. After all she had her Sirius back now and this was just the first kiss of a lifetime of kisses to come.

[brightfancies]

Fireworks.

Is that what she felt for Rabastan?

Andromeda closes her eyes at her sister’s soft caress, a moment of respite in the chaos of her heart and the storm unleashed in her mind. It’s inevitable to not lean into her touch -- so gentle is Cissy’s acceptance of her situation - the mess that she made, that it threatens to break her apart all over again. Instead, she begins to lay down next to her, letting her head rest softly atop her youngest sister’s lap. Brown curls billowing atop the intricate fabrics of her sister’s bed, Andy takes in a deep breath. Her sister’s thoughts and her own mingle and connect as she tries to find the words to express exactly what she feels. 

If she loved him...

Andy had considered this already, a thousand times. When she woke up next to him. When he found her at the stairs. Every moment he walks into the room and knocks the air out of her lungs. Every night she goes to sleep and every morning when she wakes up, in her dreams and every moment of the day. 

What’s actually wrong with that?

❝ I think I was wrong, about the fireworks. ❞ She finally says, reddened blue eyes finding her sister’s gaze. ❝ Fireworks are beautiful, shocking, brutal even -- but they last so little don’t they? Merely enough to admire them. I don’t think it’s fireworks, Cissy... what I feel for him is more than that. It’s like a bloody earthquake that’s shifting the very foundations of what I thought I wanted, opening me apart in ways I never thought possible… it's a seismic shift, changing everything. ❞

What’s actually wrong with that?

Andy moves to lay atop of her arm, tapping the space next to her for her sister to join her. It calls to mind the many nights as children, when they’d be in bed next to each other, hidden under the sheets from the judgement of their parents and whispering secrets into the night. 

❝ Mother being thrilled would make me very unhappy, true ❞ she whispers to her, chuckingly softly before she shakes her head. ❝ And he does have a terrible temper. But sometimes…it isn’t that bad. ❞

She says with a small smile, shrugging her shoulders.

 ❝ I’m not sure I’ve sworn to hate our world, Cissy, it’s more like… like I am not sure I can survive it. I’ve never thought I could. So maybe I do hate it, because I hate that it’s so rare the moments when we feel free. When we feel happy. Safe, even. And the idea, gods, the thought of how easily this world can suffocate is what made me think my only option was to escape. You. Bella. Regulus. Sirius, before he left. You made it feel better, lighter, and soon that…well, it’s become all so fragile, even more so now. This world owes us a lot more than what it’s given us. ❞ Andy grabs onto her sister’s hand once more, beneath the sheets, squeezing it tight. ❝ Color me extremely shocked then, that the person who makes me feel entirely free, even in the moments when I think he hates me… is, indeed, him. ❞

And what’s actually wrong with that?

❝ I’ve been very confused, because I do think I love Remus. ❞ She adds with a low sigh, swallowing back the knot that builds in her stomach at knowing that she needs to tell him, too. ❝ And he’s wonderful, and kind, and I wish I had understood better what I felt... you know, Rab accused me of something similar- of being a hopeless romantic. With my endless preaching, and sign weaving, is what he said. And here I am, absolutely terrified... of how much I feel, of the possibility that maybe I did so many things wrong it’ll all be too late - that it’s all too much. ❞

If she loved him…

Andromeda pulls at her sister softly, so she’s nearly hugging her with her head leaning gently against the curve of her shoulders. The swirl of the wine and the weight of the confessions, all that’s been said into the air and the dark surrounding them, acting like a lull -- an oddly soothing sensation dawning into her chest and then the rest of her body. 

❝ Thank you for listening to me, Cissa. ❞ The witch says in a murmur, looking up to the ceiling of her sister’s bedroom. ❝ Seeing you, even through all the bullshit that you've had to go through, but still... standing tall, doing what you have to do for you, being with someone who makes you happy…it makes me feel so happy for you. Proud, even, in a way I can't exactly define. I guess I must learn from my little sister more than I thought, hmm? ❞

❝ I don't want Lucius' blood — ❞

The pale witch laughs dryly at the thought, allowing her glacial gaze to fall upon the delicate hand latching onto her own. While the gesture is warm - welcome - it doesn't quite feel as natural as it should. There's nothing easy about it.

❝ No, there's a higher price to be paid than that. ❞

In a certain way, she's almost grateful to have learned that nothing is purer about her intended than his wretched cowardice. It was far better to know now than later when the shackle of marriage was already upon her. What sort of life would they have had then? Perhaps she might have even felt somewhat badly about the intensity of what lay between her and James if Lucius Malfoy were actually a creature she could have grown to love. Alas, he wasn't and she didn't. Narcissa didn't need the preening little peacock dead, what she needed was for him to understand that he was as small and insignificant as a pebble in one's shoe — carried away from the waters where he might have made a ripple and tossed out before ever reaching home.

Just as easily as he could leave her to die, she could happily bury him alive.

❝ Andy — ❞ She breathes out her sister's name, consternation mingling with the concern that she feels at the sight of the older girl unraveling. ❝ I promise you that it's alright. ❞ There's no need ( let alone any point ) to apologize, yet it always seems to be everyone's first reaction. Keeping the watch secret had done more good than harm; when the youngest Lestrange hadn't done anything to actually harm her in the first place. The blame that Andromeda carries runs deeper than that; it's more personal. Even if she didn't know her fiery sister like the deepest parts of her own soul, it still wouldn't have taken any great leaps of deduction to figure out that something had been going on between the two of them.

Even so, the extent of it - the depth - takes her breath away.

She listens to her sister's confession, realizing with growing clarity that Andy expects her to pass judgment — that the brunette wants to be found guilty. 'Tell me I am wrong,' she pleads, and yet the younger girl can only find herself hurting for her older sister. It's a pain she understands all too well, this begging to understand. This sudden necessity to question. It isn't easy, being held in a chokehold by what you've told yourself is the truth when faced so brutally with what you've come to experience on your own.

❝ Okay, you're wrong. ❞ Narcissa tells her what she wants to hear somewhat glibly, delicate shoulders shrugging from the act. ❝ Do you want to hear all the reasons why? Shall I remind you that our mother would be thrilled? Certainly, I must tell you that he has a nasty temper and an attitude as welcoming as an embrace from our dear Aunt. ❞ The grip that she now holds on her sister's hand tightens, rooting her in place. ❝ He comes from a world that you've sworn to hate, Andromeda, he's a product of it. ❞ Like you and I, but she doesn't say. ❝ How could you be so foolish? How could you be so blind? How could you be so cruel? ❞

All at once, her expression softens. She allows her sister to see the sad affection in her clone of a gaze, a lone hand reaching out to caress the darker witch's face. Why must they all go through this? Why is it so necessary to feel the weight of their family this way?

❝ So, you're wrong. You've been wrong. ❞ She isn't going to lie to her sister. There are problems in the equation, there's no denying it. ❝ But you're doing something worse than that, Meda. You're being a hypocrite. ❞ There's a cosmic irony to just how similar their situations are; finding everything they've claimed to want in the last place they would have expected to find it.

❝ You always told me that the person doesn't matter, ❞ she reminds. ❝ It's the feeling that's worth chasing after. Freedom to be who you are without fear, to be accepted exactly as you are. Fireworks. If Lestrange gives you that — if you love him... ❞ No matter how hard it is to fully wrap her brain her around. ❝ What's actually wrong with that? ❞

[prongsgf]

september 1st

in honour of the marauders 50 year friend-aversary!

it was september 1st, 1971 at 10:00am, and sirius black was not excited for the year ahead.

he knew what was going to happen- he knew he would end up in slytherin, as every black did. he knew he would have to make friends with the same sort of people cissy and bella were friends with. he knew he would become what his mother wanted of him, weather he liked it or not.

but sirius wasn’t going to be a carbon copy of his family. he didn’t believe in their blood supremacy or their values, he didn’t care about social status or surnames. he didn’t want to become what his mother wanted of him.

it was september 1st, 1971 at 2:00pm, and sirius black had made a friend.

well, he had made three friends- there was james; who had far too much energy and a personality as electric as sirius’ own. there was remus; who had been quiet and nervous at first but let himself smile a bit more as each minute passed. there was peter; who bounded in with snacks to share and jokes to crack, as if he had known the other boys all his life.

sirius knew then, that these three boys were going to be his best friends- a potter, a half-blood and.. peter. he knew then, that he certainly was not going to become what his mother wanted of him, and he couldn’t find it in him to care.

it was september 1st, 1972 at 9:00am, and sirius was far too excited to leave the house for his mother’s liking: not that he cared. he was littered with fresh bruises and scars. his hair had been cut again. his gryffindor scarf had been ripped up and sure, his neck was pretty chilly, but he was going to see his friends again and that was all that mattered to him.

it was september 1st, 1972 at 11:00am, and sirius relaxed for the first time in two months. he was around his favourite people on the way to his favourite place. he laughed and joked with james and peter about james’ new crush on a girl named lily evans. remus gave sirius a book to read and laughed at james with him (because really, evans?).

everything was the way sirius had been looking forward to. moments like those were the ones that kept him sane when he was barred up in grimmauld place.

he would have to go home again in a few months, he would have to listen to howlers and read letters putting him to shame. but he was with his friends again, and that was all that mattered to him.

it was september 1st, 1973 at 10:00am, and sirius black had spent the summer trying to drown out all the meetings happening in the room below his bed, all the beatings he secured himself, all the fights his mere existence seemed to cause.

all he wanted all he needed was to see his friends again- to remind him that he wasn’t by himself.

it was september 1st, 1973 at 6:00pm, and sirius black’s smile was wider than it had been in months. the food on his plate wasn’t earned by being quiet, the people around him weren’t scolding his every move. the boy beside him was still reading, putting his book down every few moments to laugh at jokes. the boys opposite him were trying to get the attention of the girls along the table (and failing miserably).

he was surrounded by love and joy and relief and friends.

it was september 1st, 1974 at 4:00am, and sirius black couldn’t sleep. he hadn’t slept in days, far too excited for the day ahead of him. he couldn’t stop thinking. he was far too excited to see remus. and to see james and peter too, of course.

the summer hadn’t been awful; his parents were preoccupied with their meetings and the flurries of people around the house. sirius had holed himself up in his room, wishing the days away and whispering meaningless chatter with regulus.

it was september 1st, 1974 at 12:00pm, and sirius black had not been functioning properly since remus entered the train compartment (for reasons unrelated to remus and purely coincidental).

sirius pushed everything that wasn’t laughter to the bottom of his head as he got back into the routine of school and being around friends. the year had promise and potential and things were looking up. he was well and truly happy.

it was september 1st, 1975 at 9:00am, and sirius black was using the housemaid’s concealer to hide the bruises on his cheeks- he couldn’t use a spell until he got to hogwarts and his friends would have seen by then. he piled on as much as he could without looking odd- it was bad enough that his parents knew he was gay, but wearing makeup would have earned him another round of the cruciatus curse. he shuddered.

it was september 1st, 1975 at 7:00pm, and sirius black was quite enjoying the fruit crumble in front of him. he was not enjoying, however, remus’ worried glances, james’ un-subtle questions and peter’s hesitation to touch him. they knew something had happened that summer- no matter how happy he had been since 11am, the makeup was wearing off, the smile was growing smaller, they could tell.

before he could speak, sirius felt a warm hand slide over his hesitantly under the table. a slow blush crept up his cheeks as remus squeezed his hand. the meal went on, and neither of them let go until they had to.

it was september 1st, 1976 at 8:00am, and sirius black still wasn’t tired of euphemia potter’s breakfasts. two months of pancakes, waffles, flavoursome spreads and fruit never seemed to get old. for once, he had enjoyed his summer- enjoyed everything about it. remus and peter had stayed for a few weeks. sirius couldn’t hold back his smile as he reminded himself of how remus’ lips tasted and how his hair smelled. the hatred between the marauders and the girls had finally sizzled out, leaving only memories of insults to speak of to future children.

as sirius pulled on his jeans, he smiled to himself.

it was september 1st, 1976 at 4:00pm, and sirius black watched dusk draw closer and closer through the window of the train. the group in the compartment had grown since their previous years, and now he listened to james, remus, peter, lily, marlene, mary and dorcas around him.

marlene was cuddled into dorcas by the door, and dorcas was stroking her hair- certainly not unusual for the two. james and lily were risking small glances at eachother, sometimes looking up at one other at the same time (which seemed to sufficiently embarrass lily).

he snapped himself back into the conversation, listening to remus’ story and trying not to get distracted by the delicate smiles he kept shooting over at sirius.

it was september 1st, 1977 at 9:00am, and sirius black was pulling down polaroids from his room in the potter’s house and moving them to his trunk. he rifled through them: lily, alice and mary in their tent, james, dorcas and frank aggressively sharing a bottle of firewhiskey, remus wearing sirius’ hoodie (that one was sirius’ favourite), peter trying to teach marlene how to bake, lily and james un-subtly holding hands under the table.

sirius placed them carefully in his trunk and smiled. these are the best years of my life. these are the memories that will last a lifetime no matter how many more i make.

it was september 1st, 1977 at 11:00pm, and sirius black was sat curled into remus on his favourite armchair, watching inquisitively as dorcas proved how awful she was at firewhisky charades (a game invented by peter in fifth year: every time someone guesses wrong, the actor takes a sip of firewhisky). alice ventured a guess (cornish pixie) that was inevitably wrong, forcing james to hand the bottle to dorcas once more. not one person round the fireplace had a straight face.

right as sirius was about to speak, he was overcome with a wave of something he had never felt so strongly- he was sat among his favourite people, his chosen family. he was exactly where he should be: in his boyfriend’s arms around the fire in gryffindor common room, with the nine people he loved most in the world.

he was right where he belonged.

[with-love-anu]

Undefined Coma

Pairing: Sirius Black x Reader

Summary: Sirius hates you and is forced to marry you.

Warnings: Mentions of torture, passing out, swearing, death, not a happy ending.

Word Count: 1,581

You ran, trying to catch up with the raven-haired boy. He was fast.

“Sirius! Sirius, wait up!” you shouted apologizing to people you hit on the way. Catching him finally, you placed a hand over his back, making him turn towards you in a huff.

“What. Do. You. Want?” he hissed as you gulped.

“I just wanted to talk to you. I thought t-“

“I don’t care what you thought. I don’t ever want to talk to you, why don’t you get it?” He barked as you felt you felt something in your stomach squeeze.

“Do we have any other choice, then?” you whispered as you saw something change in his eyes. “I thought you, of all people, would understand seeing we are going through the same thing.”

Sirius let out a dry laugh which only served your stomach to twist further.

“Same thing? Same thing? We are on the opposite ends Y/n. Completely opposite ends. You want money without earning it and have pulled me into whatever this is. Marriage, they call it. I hate you, Y/n. And I hate everything you stand for.”

“You act like don’t even know me!” you gasped as he just shook his head.

“I knew you.”

You stood there as he turned and left. You watched his back silently not knowing whether to laugh or cry. You wondered if he would ever realize. If he would ever even try to see through the narrow hole he had created. You wiped away the tear that fell down your cheeks. What did you agree to?

***

“No! Please Bella, no!!!” you screamed through the tears, beating your hands furiously to somehow break the spell they tied you with, not that it worked. “NO! TAKE ME! TAKE ME INSTEAD!”

Your heart thumped out of your chest as you screamed for them to stop. Your sister’s cries rang loud in your ears as they continued to torture her.

“Cruico!” you heard Bella scream as a hot red energy spread through your body, making you feel like you were on fire. You shouted and screamed as the pain didn’t stop. You felt dizzy and your brain banged making your surroundings feel fuzzy. You clenched your eyes shut at the agonizing sting that stretched throughout your body. You remembered seeing people running before darkness consumed you.

***

The great hall was full of chatter and life as the first years got sorted into their respective houses. Sirius smiled a little at the innocent, care-free children who were going to start a completely different life at Hogwarts. He listened on to James as he talked to a new-bee. He was grateful to have such a great friend. He was so scared when he finally ran away, thought he would have to leave James’ house the very next morning. But he didn’t. The Potters had unofficially adopted him. He spared a glance towards Regulus, who looked hollow. His heart clenched at the sight. He wanted to take him with himself, but Regulus wouldn’t budge. Dumbledore stood up, making everyone turn towards him.

“To the first years, welcome to Hogwarts!” he paused looking through the swarm of children. “Normally, I would have let the announcements wait until all of you are fed and fine, but there is something very important that you all need to know. Miss Y/s/n Y/l/n died a few days ago at the hands of a death-eater.”

Sirius’s heart dropped. Y/s/n? Was he hearing correctly?

“Her sister Y/n, present at the same place was tortured severely. We’ve somehow managed to keep her alive and she’s currently in the hospital wing in undefined coma. Times are dark for us. If…”

Sirius tuned out of the speech feeling something wash over him. He looked over to Regulus who rubbed at his eyes. It didn’t take him a much to figure out he was crying. Sirius looked down as a memory attacked him.

“Sirius, no! We’ll get caught!” you giggled making him smile involuntarily.

“Y/n, trust me, it was somewhere here!” he said, taking her further into the woods. He finally spotted the lake.

“See?” he said as your eyes sparkled taking in the beautiful scene.

“Wow. This is so pretty!” you gasped as Sirius took in your expression. “Wait until Regulus and Y/s/n see this!”

Sirius scoffed. He went to sit down over a rock gesturing you to sit beside him.

“This place is only for me and you,” he grumbled making you laugh.

“If you say so.”

There was silence for a moment as you took the beautiful spot in. Sirius however, couldn’t stop thinking.

“Why do you always want to bring Y/s/n and Regulus too? Am I not enjoyable enough?” he whispered as you looked at him.

“You’re taking this the wrong way, Sirius. I always want to bring them because I love them. I don’t want Y/s/n to sulk behind. Father is still grieving over our mother. She wouldn’t say it, but it affects her a lot. She was way closer to him anyway. I just want to make sure she stays happier than me. I always wish that I could give her everything she hopes for. I’m certain you want the same for Regulus?”

Sirius smiled. You really did love your sister.

“Yeah, I do.”

James shook Sirius, breaking him out of his reverie.

“Sirius, the food his here!” he said as Sirius nodded.

“Yeah, yeah.” He said placing something on his plate. He tuned out of what his friends said, lost in his thoughts.

***

Sirius tossed and turned through the night. He couldn’t sleep. Your thoughts ravaged him. He got up from his bead and quietly went over to James’ bed. Taking out the map and the invisibility cloak, he tried to make as less noise as possible. He went out of the common room, looking for anyone who might be roaming the corridors and stalked towards the hospital wing. He took off his cloak at the entrance, looking for the signs of the matron, but she wasn’t there. He tiptoed inside, walking towards the farthest bed. They always kept the more severely injured people there.

“What are you doing here?” a voice came, making him jump. He turned to see Regulus scowling at him.

“I’ve come to see Y/n.” he said calmly.

“No, you don’t deserve. Just go back to your Gryffindor friends that you love so much. Leave like you always do,” Regulus spat as Sirius’s stomach lunged.

“I don’t take orders from you.” Sirius said sharply as Regulus scoffed.

Sirius moved towards your bed, ignoring his brother. He had to see you, just once.

“Of course you don’t. You don’t take orders from anybody. Mighty big of you to come and see Y/n when you were the one caused this.”

Sirius’s head snapped towards Regulus.

“I’m the one who did this?”

“Oh, don’t act like you don’t know anything. Y/n made a pact with the death eaters to not take her sister in exchange of marrying a pure-blood. You couldn’t have waited 4 more days. Just 4 more days,” Regulus croaked, as a tear fell down his cheek. “They went after them the moment you ran away. Tortured Y/n and-”

Regulus broke down, taking in big gulps of air to control himself.

“No,” Sirius whispered, the weight of Regulus’s words crushing him. “NO!”

She wasn’t marrying him for money or- He felt stupid. So stupid. Sirius tried to breathe. His legs felt weak as they quivered.

“Leave.” He heard Regulus say as he stood fixed on the spot.

“I SAID LEAVE. YOU DIDN’T GIVE A FUCK THEN, YOU DON’T GIVE A FUCK NOW. LEAVE.” Regulus shouted, his voice echoing through the hall.

So he did. He left. He ran towards the room of requirement knowing he wouldn’t last long without breaking down.

He dropped down on the floor as his body shook with cries. He screamed. He screamed until his throat felt raw. He couldn’t see. Regulus’s words echoed in his ears as his brain made him remember all moments he spend with you and Y/s/n. He was the reason Y/s/n died. He caused you to suffer through everything. Come to think of it, wasn’t he the one who cut you off from his life? He was the one who stopped talking to you the moment you were sorted in Slytherin. He was the one who ignored every attempt made by you to reach out. He was the reason you ultimately stopped trying. And that, that ate him whole.

“I’m okay,” Sirius sneered as you just shook your head.

“I’m sure you are,” you said taking his hands softly and looking at the red lines on his palms.

You took the wet cloth slowly placing it on the flesh as Sirius hissed.

“Why do you always have to go against them Siri?” you asked softly.

“They were wrong, okay?” Sirius said before hissing again.

“Yes, but you know the consequences of speaking up. They would never listen to you. Why suffer more?” you whispered as he looked at you. “I hate to see you hurt Siri.”

You took his palm, placing small kisses all over making his heart flutter. He almost whined when you pulled away.

Sirius sniffed feeling numb. He didn’t want to go back to his dorm. The room seemed to understand him, turning into a cozy bedroom. He sighed, getting up and laying on the bed, transforming into his amingus form. He curled up, sadness giving way to sleep soon.

A/N: This was requested by a lovely anon. I feel this is complete and won’t be doing a part two!

[wreckofawriter]

Pulled Apart

~Part 2~ ~Part 3~

Pairings: Sirius Black x reader, Regulus Black x reader, Redacted x reader and Redacted x reader

Word Count: 3.9k

Warnings: Mentions of anxiety and death, swearing

Summary: Everyone is lost in the world as the man soon to be called the Dark Lord rises to power. Your parents are already ready to give their life along with your own for this man. You spend your seventh year in Hogwarts being pulled apart by the expectations for you and the hope placed in you by your childhood friend Sirius and his closest companions.

A/n: The first part to my seires! I'm going to be posting new parts once a week, there are going to be around 10 of them. I hope you guys enjoy!

    The night was a pitch black, the moon hid from the horrors that had taken the earth behind layers of deep grey clouds. The stars gave no signs as they did every other night, they too were afraid. The wind came in nervous gusts which whipped through the dark robes of the pale wizard as he walked through the silent town. Not one window gave off a warm light, but that was normal in Clovelly, people were never up past midnight. 

    The soft footsteps on cobblestone were far too gentle considering where they were leading. A deafening stomp followed by the scream of broken glass would have been more appropriate. But things were rarely as they were seen. The man -if you could call him that much-  didn’t bother knocking on the small wooden door but instead pulled a wand from his pocket and whispered a spell. The hinges which hadn’t been tended to in years creaked as they parted way for the wizard. He padded into the small entry investigating the photographs which hung on the beige walls. 

    The stairs were carpeted, silencing death’s warnings as he continued with his shrunken, bladeless scythe. The prey he sought was fast asleep, her deep blue eyes closed, unaware they would never re-open. The man didn’t linger in front of her bed for long, he had no intention of looking at the woman’s face for longer than necessary. 

    A gust of wind shook the windows, ruffling the small cat’s dark fur as it watched the windows flash green. Life was taken, yet the world spun on, it always would. Life wasn’t the world’s worry.

    “Black!” You snapped stomping into the red and gold common room. No one was quite sure how you knew the passwords each week but no one dared to ask. 

    The called boy turned his head looking over his shoulder to see you marching towards him. 

    James cringed when he caught the expression on your face, “Good luck man.” he murmured moving from his spot next to Sirius on the couch to the chair across from him. 

    “Hey y/n,” Sirius spoke, plastering a smile onto his thin lips.

    You scoffed in disgust as you placed yourself in front of him, hands on your hips, “Can you possibly keep your dick in your pants for more than a minute?” you scowled and James turned a laugh into a cough behind your back.

    “Wow y/n, I didn’t know you wanted my dick too, but I mean I’m game if y- Mother fucker!” Sirius doubled over in pain clutching his soon to be bruised shin.

    “I told you not to fuck around with any of my friends Black.” You said, “And yet. What do I wake up to but Pearl gushing about how she and the infamous Sirius Black are now dating.”

    Sirius scrunched his nose in disgust, “What no way, Pearl and I are not dating.” 

    “Yeah, no shit!” You yelled smacking him upside the head with the back of your hand.

    The boy moaned, rubbing his head, “Come on y/n.” He whined, “It’s too early to be abused.” 

    “It’s also too early to hear one of your best friend’s heart break but here we are.” You spoke, gesturing wildly around you, “I can’t believe you slept with her.” 

    “I told you not to mess with Pearl, Sirius.” Remus called from the top of the stairs, beginning down towards the scene you had created. 

    “Chime out Moony.” Sirius huffed, “This is none of your business.” 

    You now had your head buried in your hands, mumbling tiredly about Sirius’s absolute stupidity.

    “Pearl is the really nice blonde one right?” James asked behind you and Remus nodded taking the armchair next to him. 

    “She sure was nice in bed,” Sirius grinned. His smirk was wiped away as the toe of your dress shoe connected with his shin again.

    “I swear to Salazar, Black!” You shrieked.

    Remus winced, “We’re on last names?” He whispered to James who nodded.

“She hasn’t called him Sirius yet.”  

    Sirius shrugged, “I told her it was only for one night, I didn’t think it would be an issue.” he explained.

“The issue is they always come to me expecting me to get them a date!” You wailed, “And then I have to break their hearts, you dumbass!”

Sirius pondered this for a moment, “Okay I can see how that would be annoying.”

You let out a sigh, “So you’ll stop sleeping with my friends then.” you questioned eyebrows raised. 

    Sirius frowned pouting, “But your friends are so hot.” 

    You threw your hands up in the air, turning to James and Remus who both shrugged giving you looks of pity. Giving up, you dropped beside Sirius on the couch. 

    “You’re such an asshole.” You mumbled, leaning your head onto his shoulder, blowing at the hair which fell into your eyes.

    “You love me.” He chuckled, glancing down at you in amusement.

    You bit your lip humming, “Do I?” 

    You had always hated cold weather, it didn’t help that your common room seemed to be ten degrees colder than the rest of the castle. It was nice in the summer but the winter was miserable. Goosebumps ripped up your arm as you approached the stone wall that had been submitted to memory by every green-robed student in the school. 

    “Purity.” You mumbled and the stones parted. You never liked Slytherins passwords, you always felt sick to your stomach as you watch some muggle-born speak horrible things against themselves simply to get to bed. Your mother had told you she thought the passwords were nothing short of adequate, fitting the house quite well. You had learned that your mother was usually wrong. 

    As you entered the room your eyes wandered to a group of students you knew a bit too well. The rest of the common room was empty as it always was when your meetings -or hangouts as most of the group called them- took place. 

Lucious turned towards you with a sneer. “Where were you y/l/n?” He snapped, voice icy as his eyes. “You’re late.”

    “None of your business Malfoy.” You replied, “You’re not my mother.”

    “He kinda looks like her.” Avery laughed behind the blonde.

    You cracked a grin, “Don’t insult my mother like that, even her nose isn’t that big.” 

    Malfoy scoffed as you placed yourself next to Avery, who always seemed a bit too close. The Black sisters glanced up at you, Narssicia with a soft smile and Bellatrix with a frown of disgust, you didn’t take it personally. 

    “She’s obviously been with our dreadful cousin.” The curly-haired girl spat.

    You rolled your eyes with a sigh, “Where is Regulus anyway?” you mumbled hoping to move the conversation away from your whereabouts. 

    “He said he was going to be here in a few minutes,” Narssicia answered, her eyes returning to the book in her lap. 

    You nodded nervously picking at the dark polish on your nails. You hated these meetings, they made your stomach twist in knots and your heart hammer too quickly in your chest. Despite the often joking nature of the students, you each knew the other would take your life if given the order. It caused your anxiety to spike and eyes to flirt dangerously form person to person. 

    Your gaze lingered on Snape, the newest member of your little club. His hair was plastered down onto his pale face, lips a thin pink which seemed to be bitten raw. He felt your stare and glanced up in a silent challenge.  You thanked Regulus for his timing as the common room’s door slid open.  

    He nodded at the few greetings he received apologizing for his tardiness and taking a seat next to you. Your heartbeat immediately calmed, the younger Blacks presence did wonders for the terrifying thoughts that clouded your head as you stared down the future murders your parents had pushed you to be friends with. 

    You felt yourself subconsciously leaning towards the boy, he never seemed to mind. 

    Bellatrix mumbled a concealing spell and the meeting began. 

    “So any new tasks this week?” Mcruber asked, far too excited to get something terrible done.

    “Not for a while actually,” Malfoy grunted and you felt momentary ecstasy. “The old bat that runs this place knows something is up. Apparently he started his own group of fifthly mudbloods.” 

    Your stomach tightened.

    “I don’t buy it.” The elder Black sister scoffed leaning back on the couch.  

    “It doesn’t matter whether you buy it or not, Bella.” Regulus drawled, rolling his eyes at his older cousin.

    “We are supposed to lay low for a bit,” Lucious explained ignoring Bellatrix who made faces at her younger cousin, “My father suggested we find a different place to meet as well, this is open.” 

    The others nodded in agreement. 

    “So we are just supposed to sit here?” Avery asked, his voice holding a hint of a whine.

    “Sounds like it.” Snape murmured, glancing around the table, his gaze landing on you and staying there for far too long. 

    You felt Regulus stiffen beside you. You looked up at the boy to see him staring straight back at the half-blood who eventually caved. Severus didn’t trust you. You knew that and so did everyone else seated around you. You just prayed that everyone would continue to consider him paranoid as they currently were. Most of them didn’t trust the half-blood himself, but you knew it was only a matter of time before he broke through their walls. 

    The meeting only lasted another ten minutes filled with useless questions being answered as you slowly inched closer and closer to Regulus, Snape’s stares becoming downright frightening as his eyes stayed locked on your form. It didn’t help that Avery had tried to throw his arm around your shoulder twice now. You felt trapped, like a mouse in a cage.

    The third time you had to push the blonde-haired boy’s arm from your shoulders Regulus stood from his seat silencing the conversation that Lucious and Narssica had been having. 

    “She’s obviously not interested, so back off.” He growled, his fists tightening at his side. 

    Avery was taken aback by the actions of the usually quiet male, he opened his mouth to speak, shutting it quickly when he caught the glare you pointed at him. A sly smirk took his visage and he pulled up his arms in surrender, “My bad, I didn’t know she was taken.” 

    You scoffed, a snarl finding your face, “I’m not into you because you’re a disgusting pig, not because I’m dating someone else.” 

    His face grew red, anger darkening his bright eyes,  “What did you just say to me bitch?” he leaped to his feet leaning towards you. You heard Narcissa gasp. 

    Regulus pushed the other boy squarely in the shoulders, sending him back into the couch which you had stood from, backing away quickly.

    “Don’t speak to her that way.” Regulus hissed, one of his hands gripping Avery’s face roughly as he kneeled on his thigh with one leg.

    Mcruber snatched Regulus’s arms pulling him away from the other boy with a warning glance. You heard Bellatrix laughing behind you, her shriek only worsening your mood. 

    “Let’s calm down guys, no need to kill each other,” Mcruiber spoke a palm to each male’s chest, standing between them.

    “You best watch it Black.” Avery spat before shoving Mcriber away from him and storming up the stairs and slamming the door to his dorm room. 

    Regulus dropped his shoulders with a huff and glanced towards you in a soundless question.

    You nodded, Bellatrix still cackling over your shoulder.

    “So protective Reggy.” She giggled.

    Your eyes turned in their sockets, “Shut up Bella.” You glanced at Regulus who had turned away from you, sitting back down on the couch. You made you way next to him hearing Mcrubier cough awkwardly. 

    Snape stood himself, gathering a few books which were set on the dark coffee table in front of him, “If we’re done, I’m leaving.”

    He was only met with nods before he turned on his heel and made towards the common room exit.

    “This makes things easier anyway, considering they weren’t invited.” Mcruiber chuckled reaching for his bag and pulling out a stack of heavy envelopes.

As he distributed the parchment you leaned into the youngest Black, “Thanks Reg.” your voice was a sweet whisper.

The boy only nodded stiffly before you backed away from him to accept the invitation from Mcruiber. You peeled open the wax not surprised to see almost illegible thin cursive writing announcing a ball two weeks from the next day. 

“You’re supposed to bring a date.” Mcruiber huffed, clearly not a fan of the idea, “They have to be respectful to the setting of course.” He didn’t need to elaborate, you all knew what he meant. “Some families from France, Bulgaria, and Germany will be there as well.” 

You nodded along with everyone else, eyes scanning the guest list on the back catching your family’s name along with four dozen others. 

“It’s over Christmas break so if any of you are staying here then you would want to arrange something with your parents.” The brunette explained finishing his rounds and settling into his original seat. 

You felt a familiar sense of dread fill you at a mention of the approaching break, ignoring the painful pressure on your chest you got to your feet bringing your hand through your hair, “I’m heading up to bed.” You stated, “I need a nap.” 

A murmur of goodbyes met your ears as you turned to leave. Just as your foot met the first step leading towards the girls dorm a call pulled you back.  

“What’s up Reg?’ You asked looking up at the younger boy.

He paused, his bottom lip tucked between his teeth, “You know what, it’s not important.” he muttered.

You frowned, “Alright. I’ll see you later”

He nodded, “Yeah, see you.” 

    You continued up the stairs, hoping sleep would wipe away the bitterness of the gathering you had just taken part in, unaware of the set of eyes that followed you until you slipped out of their view. 

    You let the meeting slip from your head, the words exchanged in its secrecy did nothing but trouble you. You successfully distracted yourself for three days. Tests and essays made the job easy as you plunged headfirst into the deep waters of education. The last thing you wanted was to face your mother in two weeks’ time with inadequate grades, she would have your head. You found your classes easy enough, it felt good to be like everyone else for a few moments, you were just another kid stressing over Transfiguration notes and procrastinating with your friends. It was easy to forget you were anything but another kid. 

    The normalness you had grown to love was ripped away from you in one cruel movement. 

    It was late at night, the windows creaking from heavy snowfall and harsh winds. You and a few others were pushed from the library where you had taken sanctuary with a thick book under your arm. 

You headed towards the dungeons alone, the castle practically empty from the rapidly approaching curfew. Your hurried steps were cut short when a cat cut in front of you. It wasn't the raggeded Mrs. Norris you were accustomed to. Instead, you were greeted with a brown tabby, its fur neat and trimmed as it gave you an oddly familiar pointed look.

You frowned, you knew this cat. Your mind reeled as you tried to remember its origin. You gasped as the memory snapped into place, “Professor?” 

The cat nodded confirming your suspicion before trotting off towards the east wing. She paused turning to look back at you. 

Catching the message you picked up your pace to follow the disguised teacher. The halls were silent save the murmur of portraits and the occasional wisp of a ghost. You didn’t dare speak unsure of what was happening as you trailed through the castle until you stood in front of a massive gargoyle, its teeth bared at you in a warning. 

You blink owlishly before turning back to the cat which was no longer a cat. Your professor stood in front of you, but she didn’t meet your questioning eyes only muttering a password under her breath before commanding you forwards into the now opening stairwell.

    You started to climb the stone steps only for them to rotate upwards startling you into gripping the wall to your left. 

    Your anxiety had spiked into a near attack. You knew where this staircase led and you knew who was waiting for you. It was the matter of what he was going to say that caused your heart to rush in your chest. 

    The slow spiral upwards had stopped and you were opened to a circular room decorated in mumbling portraits and strange-looking artifacts. 

    “Ah, Ms. y/l/n.” 

    You pulled your eyes away from a set of strange silver instruments to meet your headmaster’s eyes. 

    “I’m assuming you are wondering what you are doing here at this ungodly hour.” He chuckled.

    You glanced at your watch, it was only ten-thirty. You nodded anyway, “Am I in trouble professor?” you asked, trying not to sound as anxious as you felt. 

    He laughed again, something you found irritating as you tried not to shake in panic, “Of course not.” 

    You wondered how that was so obvious considering the circumstances.

    “But I am afraid I am going to have to ask you for a favor.” The humor had dropped from his voice and you gulped, pressing your hands which were slick with sweat together.

    The elderly man motioned for you to take a seat in front of his desk. You did so carefully, your eyes darting around you the way they were taught to when you didn’t know what was going on.

    There was a breath of silence as Dumbledore peered at you over his half-moon spectacles, the portraits had stopped their conversations, and the strange ticking you had been exposed to when first entering had halted. 

    “I would like us to come to an agreement not to lie to each other in this conversation y/n.” He spoke pointedly, your given name sounding strange on his lips.

    You nodded numbly, deciding immediately not to follow through with that accord.

    He paused for a moment too long, a somber look taking his worn features, “I assume you have heard of the man who is calling himself Voldemort.” 

    Your eyes widened, you fought a wince, “Yes I have.” you managed to croak. Your throat felt abnormally dry.

    “You also know of his large and growing number of followers don’t you?” He inquired.

    You felt your back go stiff, “Yes sir.”

    He licked his lips leaning back in his chair, “And we both know your family is apart of that following.”

    You felt yoru breath lodge in your throat, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, professor.” you spoke so cleanly, you surprised yourself.

    He glared down at you, “I thought we agreed not to lie.”

    “I’m not lying, sir.” You respond like a well-trained dog.

    He sighed, “Minerva was right, you are going to be hard to break.”

    You did reply, your face stone, unmoving as you stared deep into midnight blue eyes.

    He broke the held eye contact leaning back in his chair slightly, “Y/n, what is your relationship with Sirius Black.”

    You furrowed your brows, “What does Sirius have to do with any of this?” 

“Sirius has everything to do with this.” 

You hesitated a moment, “We’re friends. We have been since we were young.”

“Yes, you have.” He mumbled, “And what about James Potter?”

This question only confused you more, “I’m sorry sir, if you were just going to ask me about my relationship with a list of boys I will be getting to bed.”

Dumbledore laughed loudly, the tension in the room dispersing as he mentioned for you to sit back in the seat you had risen from, “I’m offtly sorry y/n, this must all be very confusing, I suppose I should get to the point.”

“I agree.” you bit back.

His smile once again dropped, “I have started a group, an organization of sorts to help combat the actions and supporters of Lord Voldemort.” 

You felt the color drain from your face.

“I brought you here today to ask if you would be willing to join us.” 

Your head spun, your fingers instinctively found the skin of your forearm and pinched it to keep you in reality, “I-I’m sorry, what?” the confusion read very clearly in your tone.

“We would like you to join. Sirius fought very hard for us to offer you a spot, James seconded him and Remus was his third.” The headmaster explained, “They all believe that you would be a useful asset on our team.”

Your mouth dropped slightly and you blinked rapidly, “I’m sorry, I don’t think you understand what your asking me.”

“I am very sure I do. I was wondering if you understood.” The man said with raised eyebrows. 

You licked your lips trying to organize your thoughts, “So you want me- a pureblood Slytherin- to join your anti-dark lord group?” You were very aware of the fact that you may have given up your position as a supporter, but you were too baffled to care.

“We would be asking you to be a spy.” He confirmed, “Relay information about the other side for us.” 

And finally, you understood, it all came at you in a rush of dead leaves. A spy. You would be a two-faced snitch for them. An uncertain rage filled you, “You know what, I don’t think you do understand what you’re asking me.” you hissed at the man, “Because what you just asked me to do was to throw away my life.” Your voice was venom, but the man stood unmoved. 

“I do realize that.” He spoke calmly.

“You don’t” you snarled, “Because if you did then you wouldn’t be asking.” 

You stood to leave but was stopped in your tracks when a small boy appeared in front of you. He was a wisp of smoke, his dark hair a mess, grey eyes rimmed in red, heavy tears sliding down his plump cheeks as he cradled his hand close to his chest. 

You turned back to your professor, anger bubbling in your chest, “How dare you.” you sneered your own wand out in a flash.

“Sirius told me to use it.” He replied bluntly, “He told me you would agree. But that you would need a push. I know I’m asking too much of you, but you are needed y/n. The Order needs you.” 

You stood too still, your feet feeling like they were planted into cement, you had already known the answer the second he he asked, you had known it the moment you had stepped into this office. 

“Do you agree to join us y/n?” 

You felt numb, “I agree.”

Taglist:

@accio-rogers @roslea @k3nz-doodl3 @theseuscmander @sleepingalaska @chloe-geoghegan1 @songforhema @wangmangagavroche @evyiione @atomicpunkrock @fairywriter-oracle @moon-zodiac

Masterlist

[aroaceslytherin]

A03 AU HP Fanfic (Finally Here!)

Chapter 1: Karma Killed Her (https://archiveofourown.org/works/31582727/chapters/78143753) (mention of abuse and homophobia, some transphobia)

QUITE LONG

1953 Walburga winced as the maids pulled tighter on her corset. Her nails dug into her palms. Her arms hanging loosely at her sides. Today was her wedding day. Yesterday was the day she had been practicing her posture. Her mother hit her quite a number of times whilst screaming; ‘Upright! Left, right, forward, back. Let him lead! Your wedding must be perfect or else it will surely lead you to a life of solitude!’ For as long as Walburga could remember, she had been a little unsteady on her feet. She would chase her brothers down the hall and clip a corner to close which resulted in bruises on her shoulders, falling on her arse and limping for a week, or that one time she stained her mothers floorboards with a broken nose. That was a day she would never forget. FLASHBACK She could already hear the furious steps of her mother’s heels as they climbed the winding stairs of their manor. “CAMELIA WALBURGA BLACK!” Walburga groaned internally as the witches mended her nose. “Mother, I have told you. I cannot help it that I stumble!” Irma growled, hitting her daughter over the head with her palm. “You need to listen to the etiquette teachers! Practice makes perfect after all, and you are to be the perfect heiress someday! We already have your husband chosen, and I am not having you ruin anything with your clumsy nature! I will see to it you go twice every-day from here on out!” Walburga opened her mouth to protest. Her mother clamped her mouth shut, pushing the medi-witches out of the washroom. “Enough, ladies!” She knelt in front of Walburga, tilting her daughter’s head up so grey eyes met hers. “You are growing up, dear. I cannot have you muddying up your dresses anymore as you chase your brothers ‘round this house! It is unladylike! You are soon to be eleven! Tis’ time you act like a grown woman!” Irma pulled her daughter up and shoved her to the door. “Dinner is downstairs getting cold, I suggest you eat before you get none. AND CLEAN UP YOUR BLOOD BEFORE BED OR YOU GO HUNGRY FOR A WEEK!” END FLASHBACK Walburga tousled her curls through her fingers and admired her dress in the floor-length mirror before she headed out of her bedroom and into the halls. Her heels tapped softly on the hardwood floor as she made her way downstairs. She tripped once she got to the bottom. Though not over herself. “ALPHARD!” She screamed, picking up the two-year-old dressed in a black ruffled dress. She hoisted her on her hip, supporting her with one hand under the baby's bum. Walburga stormed through the house looking for her younger brother just shy of one year. She found him outside in the greenhouse, taking a drag. She groaned, shifting the squirmy brat to her other side.

“Alphard Roland Black!” She yelled through gritted teeth, pushing through the greenhouse doors.

He hadn’t noticed her until she grabbed the cigarette from his mouth and threw it on the ground, stomping on it with her heeled boot; putting it out.

“Fuck’s sake, what?!” Alphard yelled, hands to the side. Walburga thrust the baby into his arms. He took her with a groan of protest and disgust. “I don’t want this.”

“You are on baby duty!” Walburga huffed, crossing her arms and scowling at him. “We expected you to be keeping these kids from being in our way, and you are out here smoking fags?!”

“Why are we doing this? They are Cygnus’ after all! Besides, this whole cousin marrying cousin thing is absurd!” He waved his hand in a circle, rolling his sharp grey eyes.

“Mother is against people knowing he had kids out of wedlock and in his teens. Why are you so against everything she teaches?”

“So is Cygnus!”

“NOT!” Walburga screamed. “He merely broke one rule, you go against everything!” She swiped her hand through the air firmly to signify her point.

“WALBURGA!” Their mother screamed from the porch. “Get back in this house this instant!”

Walburga poked her brother in the chest with her sharp nail painted black. "Watch the brats or I will have your head.” She growled as she hiked up her dress with a huff before heading back to her mother. “Heaven forbid my kids act like him.” She murmured under her breath.

Upon approaching her mother, Irma cast cleaning charms on her then pushed her inside. “I thought I told you to stop going after Alphard, you are twenty-five for crying out loud.”

“He was smoking again and was not watching Bellatrix like you asked. I tripped over her.” She felt her mother’s grip tighten on her shoulder at the mention of her brother with cigarettes again. Walburga shrugged her off and headed to the front parlour with a huff.

***

Hours later everything had gone well. Walburga was proud of herself she had not made a fool of herself as the new Lady Black. There was laughter and chatter between the whole of the Pureblood society and, as suspected, no mud-bloods, half-bloods, or traitors had attended.

Walburga greeted everyone by name; to be polite. She danced gracefully this time (as the bruises, cuts, and welts from her mother had reminded her) with the various partners she had taken up as they moved throughout the ballroom. She felt confident, proud, and more-so like a lady than she had when she woke up that morning.

Walburga jumped in her skin when her brother surprisingly came out of nowhere then grabbed her by the wrist.

Alphard spun his sister into his embrace. She grimaced at his breath.

“You smell like you had gone and drunk all of our liquor." She took his hand and placed a hand on his shoulder as they began to waltz. "Where are the children, brother mine?”

“Sleeping, darling. Don’t you worry.” He smirked that notorious Black lineage smile that most everyone in their family wore proudly. “Congratulations, sis.” He kissed her on the cheek, spinning her twice before dipping her. “I am afraid I may have to leave permanently.”

“What?!” She hissed quietly, pulling herself up before darting her grey eyes around the vast room to make sure no one around her heard. “You cannot! Must you?”

Alphard brought the rhythm back before they tripped over each other. “I cannot handle mother any longer. You ratted me out, it was worse than last. I am an outcast here and you know it.”

“Who will help with Bella and Andie?” Walburga asked, politely declining another dance as her brother spun her again.

“Mother said you are to take them until he is of age. By then, though, he may just not be a suitable father.” Alphard bowed to her as the next symphony started. He grabbed her two hands in his, pulling her to him before kissing her forehead. “I love you.” Alphard handed her off to the male that had asked her for her hand last time before fleeing and never looking back.

____________

As the evening drew on, Walburga grew tired and tipsy. Several people had left or retired to the hallway to have a proper chat. As she danced with Orion, she noticed William Lestrange and her mother talking in a corner.

“Pass me to him, please. I need to get closer to my mother.”

Orion obeyed and took the next lady into his arms. Walburga heard her congratulate him as she moved through the sea of people before landing in the arms of a man that was close to her mother.

“...such a beautiful bride. People will talk for years to come. You must be satisfied.”

Walburga’s heart filled with warmth. She worked hard for tonight and was glad she could stay focused on being poised and graceful all night; careful to not trip during the dances. Walburga focused her grey eyes on her mother to listen on what she was going to say. She waited all night to hear a good thing from the person who gave her life. All she wanted was approval. To make her mother proud by being the best lady. It seemed all throughout childhood her mother nagged on her for not being the best. Finally she could be accepted!

“That girl is a lost cause!” Her mother bit out at William. Irma’s face twisted into a sneer as she gripped her wine glass tight. “No grace, frighteningly terrifying, always muddying her dresses and chasing after her brothers! I should curse her to having a son just like Alphard with mannerisms like her so she at least knows the pain I went through! Months of work and she still can’t sit upright, walk poised, or stand with dignity! Forgets proper etiquette and table manners! Was troublesome until she went off to Hogwarts, I was glad to be rid of her! Now she’s off troubling someone else and for that I couldn’t be happier!”

Walburga felt like someone had just stabbed her in the heart.

William bowed down and kissed Irma’s hand. “I am all the more impressed by what you have achieved.”

Her mother smiled sweetly. “Thank you dear, I do what I can. No matter how ungrateful that little brat can be.” Irma ended bitterly.

Walburga thought that her mother. No, Irma. Had always put family first, no matter what.

Toujor Pur, after all.

It was like something had lifted and now all that stood before her was a wicked bitter hag full of jealousy.

I don't need her after all.

“I’m sorry.” She whispered to the man, biting back her tears as she let go. “Thank you, but I-I can’t, can’t be here right now.” She hiked up her dress and fled the ballroom. Toujour Por meant something to her.

I will teach the true meaning behind being pure, keeping the family pure, having magic coursing in our veins, Dark Arts, and family first always- no matter what! None of this behaviour my mother engages in any longer!

***

A few years later Walburga fell pregnant. All she wished for was to give her husband a healthy son to be their heir to stop the gossip, ridicule, and outcasting on how people noticed how hard it was on her. How they thought she actually could not fit the role. Her wishes had not come true. Her first pregnancy had been twin girls; Syfrin Ophelia - later to be Sirius Orion - and Rosier Azalea II. However, she had some faith to her first born...

Walburga held her daughters close to her as Orion stood beside her. "No heir, yet, Camelia."

"Syfrin is a boy."

"That is clearly a girl. Well, Camelia?" Orion started, taking their first-born in his arms. "What odd things run in our family?"

Walburga smiled. "I am not sure, why?"

*

Within two years, she had two more kids. One boy; Alastair Rigel, later to become Alice Fleur. One girl; Regina Adelene, later to be Regulus Arcturus. All four of them tested her nerves just as much as the first four. She never got a full night’s rest again, but she never lost her patience.

Syfrin/Sirius was lively, clumsy, challenging, and loud like Bellatrix, Rosier, and Alastair/Alice where as Regina/Regulus was patient, quiet, obedient, and carefree like Andromeda, Pandora, and Narcissa.

It was too much; her brothers drank themselves to death, Alphard disowned for being gay, Cygnus only having kids because of their family and then her having to adopt them. People within their circle ridiculed them because there were no boys and that Cygnus murdered Druella just hours after Pandora and Narcissa’s birth. They then ridiculed her for having no suitable heir and taking in his daughters.

As her children grew, she repeated ‘Toujour Pur’ and provided constant reminders that muggles were mud-bloods and they were to stay away from them for they were filthy. Walburga would tell them the world was hurtful and cruel. That family came first always.

Her first-born never seemed to understand. They pestered and tested Walburga with inappropriate questions. They seemed unable to sit in a chair right, refused to sit up straight or hold a fork correctly and ate everything with their hands. No matter what Walburga did; this kid was just as clumsy as she used to be. They were a challenge.

She would never hit, she would never yell. Before she lost her temper, she would walk away then come back and talk to her kids about the problem and what she expected. She promised herself she would never become her mother. She would cry herself to sleep at night thinking Syfrin/Sirius would never pick up on her teachings. She was afraid Regulus would follow in their footsteps even though he was currently following hers. Her adopted daughters also did better than Sirius.

*1971

Walburga was glad when she sent Sirius and Rosier off to Hogwarts. Their prefects could finally show them the right way. Andromeda, Bellatrix, Narcissa, and Pandora would be there for a few years and they would listen to them. When the first owls arrived from Bellatrix, that is when Walburga knew something was up.

Orion stood beside her, sipping his wine. Watching as she picked up the letter. Her hands shook as she looked at Bellatrix's handwriting.

Everything she had built, everything she had taught him… it all went up in ashes.

Walburga slammed the letter down as she stormed off to the kitchen.

“Not a word.” She said sternly at the cooks as she approached the cupboards and retrieved the plates. She took them to the cellar where she smashed them against the grey brick wall until there weren’t any left. As she looked at the damage, she sank to her knees and screamed with tears streaming down her face.

Walburga wanted to die, or even murder her daughters when they were born. All they had done since they conceived them was make her life burdensome and painful. Ever since the day they were born, they were a traitors to the bloodline. She was ashamed they were even hers. They had sorted her son and only chance of a good male heir into Gryffindor.

Walburga saw it was coming.

She had one chance left to make things right; Regina.

Her youngest. Obedient, calm, collected, and poised. Never clumsy, boisterous, or rude. A proud Slytherin. Top marks in Dark Arts. She even became a Death Eater after Bellatrix. She understood it was pro-muggle activism keeping knowledge from proper witches and wizards and supported it. Regina never disappointed her even though she was not a suitable heir. She could give a suitable heir, though. Walburga still worried when she hung with her sisters and continued to look up to them.

*1976 September

It was another Summer with the kids home from Hogwarts. Walburga dreaded going to the ball with her dysfunctional family but she couldn’t afford to stay away.

Where Regina/Regulus accepted dance requests and focused on finding a suitable heir, Sirius had not and smoked cigarettes in a corner.

Regina/Regulus had worn a black sparkling ball gown despite the arguing that had followed when Walburga presented it to her; "Why won't you wear this dress?" Walburga asked, hands on her hips as she stood in the middle of Regina's room. Regina/Regulus shrugged. "I do not feel comfortable with them, mother." Walburga folded her arms. "I have come to terms that you are not a suitable heir but that you can give me one, and now you are telling me you would rather wear a suit over a dress? Do not tell me you are like your sister and want to be a man!" Regina/Regulus hung her head, toying with the tulle fabric of the ball gowns skirt. In the end, Walburga won. Whereas Sirius wore a suit with a leather jacket. Which had also ended in a fight. She wasn’t even trying to look for a dance partner or suitable future husband. People made jokes that she was a wizard interested in wizards or even a witch interested in witches. *sometimes they could not tell which gender Sirius wanted to be* Walburga knew who her friends were though; mudbloods and traitors. She didn’t even try to keep his interests or relations with all those harlots and men a secret. For reasons unknown to her, she had recently just stopped doing that in the past year.

I need answers.

Because of her children, Walburga was an outcast. No one talked to her. It forced her to interact with the only people she could; her brothers and her husband. That is where she currently stood, with her family, waving away her brother’s smoke clouds as she tried her hardest to ignore the nausea that clawed at her throat as her husband and brother just kept drinking.

She knew the three of them were trying to forget about Syfrin/Sirius.

Alphard, however, was not. He was proud of Sirius for being himself and acting like him; looking up to the "cool" Uncle.

Walburga had hated her brother ever since the day she had dug into him before he had left her house…

FLASHBACK 1961

Walburga was holding two month old Regina/Regulus as she stormed downstairs to the servants’ quarters where her brother slept in the extra room spending his days drowning in whiskey, smoke, and stupid muggle painting.

“I will not have my children raised around a smoker! What is all this?!” She gestured to his canvases and paintings, kicking one down and stomping on it. “I want you out of this house by sundown! You don’t belong here anymore, you fag! My son does not need this kind of influence! He will marry a weathful, beautiful, young dame and give us wonderful heirs for years to come! In order for that, you must leave!”

“I will still be at the dances and family gatherings as mother insisted when she disowned me and sent me to you, but fine! I’ll leave this bloody house for all I fucking care! Have fun raising eight kids on your own!”

END FLASHBACK

When Alphard glanced at Sirius, it ignited something in Walburga. She grabbed him by the collar and dragged him off to a nearby powder room. She threw out the girls giggling inside and locked them out before putting up a silencing charm and glared at her brother.

“Have you been seeing my daughter!?” Walburga seethed, crossing her arms.

Alphard took another drag.

She pulled it from his hand, throwing it in the ashtray before pushing her brother toward the counter with her hands around his neck.

He winced as she pushed him further into the countertop; the smooth edges pushing painfully against his spine. Alphard watched her eyes turn almost black. There was no more grey colouring or happiness in Walburga. She had turned cold, like their mother. There was no turning back from that for a Black…

Once you go black, you never go back.

“I will ask again.” She growled. “Have… you… been… visiting… my… child?!”

“They have been coming to me.” Alphard choked out. His throat was on fire and his wrists were hurting from squeezing the counter. “They had questions.” He choked out. “I answered.” She squeezed tighter. His vision blurred. “Stop!”

Orion ran in and yanked her backwards. “Honey, stop!” He yelled, squeezing his hands into her shoulders. “You are going to kill somebody!”

Walburga shoved Orion away. “What do you fucking care?! You are just drinking away your life with my brother, ignoring your children like always! I’m stuck taking care of eight kids, one of which wants nothing to do with our family and our traditions!” She grabbed her husband’s wrists, her voice gone dark as she spoke her next words. “You do anything you can to stop her from burrowing further into this rabbit hole of hers!”

“You have been making him hurt your son already! He has bruises, scars, and told me a complete list of spells yo-”

“SHUT UP!” Walburga screamed, slapping her brother. “YOU did this to her! I told you to stay away from her, no matter how persistent she got!”

“He is fifteen!” Alphard argued.

“AND DOING EVERYTHING YOU AND CYGNUS DID WHEN YOU TWO WERE YOUNGER!” Walburga screamed even louder. Alphard was right… Walburga was too far gone now. “She is a disgrace. An outcast, a traitor, a freak! I should have just killed all of them.” She glared at her husband. “I am taking the children home.”

*nine at night*

Walburga was quiet the rest of the evening as she dragged her children home.

Sirius was laughing, Regina was glaring at him, and Bellatrix was complaining.

Why is this my life?

Once they got home Regina/Regulus went up to bed, the girls went outside to giggle about boys. Walburga grabbed her wand and aimed it at Sirius’ back.

Petrificus Totalus!

“You are the worst thing that has ever happened in my life!” She circled her then gripped her chin and tilted it up so their grey eyes met. “Your father has done enough, it’s my turn! I cannot save it any longer, I-” she swallowed thickly.

Say it, you cannot stand loving someone like this anymore. He is not your son. Never has been. Sirius stared at her as she tripped over her words.

Her leather jacket angered her, the long hair she insisted on wearing as a boy, his tattoos she knew she had *very unladylike*, her piercings, her “friends”, her choice in being Sirius over Syfrin, ending up in Gryffindor and being portrayed as a boy by the castle, teachers, and students. She slapped Sirius after letting go of their face.

“I hate you.” She spit it out; literally.

Walburga grabbed the broom from the kitchen and went back to the entrance between kitchen and living room. Her heart pounded, ached in her chest, she did not want to do this to her baby but she had hurt her. She needed to be shown not from her father how much pain she put to her mother, but by Walburga herself… the person she hurt.

“I hate you.” She repeated, tears stinging her eyes.

She could not take it anymore. Sixteen years of humiliation, pain, disobedience, talking back, shouting, screaming, yelling, smashed family heirlooms and antiques, broken books, smashed walls, knives through the tables and walls, fork marks in the table. Walburga’s blood ran cold as she brought the broom up and brought it down hard on her child.

Sirius fell to her knees, biting her tongue to keep from screaming out. Walburga picked her up from under her armpits and brought the broom down on her back once more. “I hate you, you are a disgrace!”

“A faggot like your bastard Uncle!” The broom came down on Sirius' shoulder blade with a deafening crack.

“Hanging out with Mudbloods!” Walburga swung the broom again.

“How dare the fates let you become a bloody Gryffindor! You can have suitable heirs as a girl!” She hit Sirius with the broom three more times with the last sentence.

Again and again, the broom came down on her child. With every hit, Sirius winced. Sirius had disrespected her with everything she was. Walburga had done her best to never hit or yell. She now had enough and could not take it anymore. She poured all her anger and disappointment out on her child. The one person who should have been her heir!

“I hate you! Is that through your skull yet?!” She screamed, pointing her wand at Sirius. “Crucio!” Sirius arched her back, screaming vociferously. Walburga could feel the strength grow within her as she punished her kid.

She struck again… her neck, her hands. Walburga smiled as she watched Syfrin draw away from the sting as she trembled. Walburga could only guess it was from the crying.

She grabbed his long curly hair and pulled her head back to meet her dark eyes. “I… hate… you…” Walburga seethed.

Sirius squeezed her eyes shut, warm tears trailing down her face.

Walburga smiled the Black lineage smile as she threw her forwards at the coffee table.

Sirius' body landed on the top of the table with a hard thud and a pained moan.

“For so long I have had to deal with you… keep up with you… I had your father do my dirty work because I could not go through with it but I have had quite enough! You simply could not have told how much I hated you through your father, but you figured out how much he hated you. It is my turn. You needed to see how much I truly detested you and I did it all in one go.”

Images of all the times Syfrin acted out, disobeyed, stumbled, fallen, talked back. It fuelled her anger. Syfrin deserve no one… not those friends… not her sisters… nor whoever she was seeing.

“You deserve no one!” She continued beating and cursing at her child until she was tired. Walburga had been waiting to punish them. Now that she was finally doing it, she felt like she couldn’t stop.

Walburga watched her daughter turned potential heir turned to a disgrace weep on the table. Blood seeped through her clothing and onto the floor.

I’ll deal with that later.

Her long hair had become plastered to her sweaty tear-stained face. For the first time in sixteen years, Walburga felt content.

“You can drown in your misery for all I care. Just get up to bed before your father gets home or you will deal with him as well. Might as well stay there so he can do more damage anyway, you deserve it.”

She leant over Sirius as the front door opened.

“Too late.”

Walburga gripped her daughter's hair, pulling at the nape of her neck.

“Did I say you are a faggot? I found letters from your so-called friend. Everything you are doing and have done is amoral! You have always been an outcast, a blood traitor, and disowned. You haven’t been my son for years.”

She looked up to find Orion looming over them. He had heard everything she just said.

Sirius whined as she tried moving away but Walburga pulled her up by her elbows and held her back against her own body. “I’m going to enjoy watching your drunk father do the same things I just did to you.” She growled into Sirius' ear.

*eleven thirty*

Sirius climbed the stairs in weak agony.

His parents were downstairs cleaning up the blood, the evidence, and the smashed plates from earlier.

His sisters had gone up to bed through the basement cellar to avoid the scenery of him getting beaten.

He stood on shaking legs in front of the bathroom mirror, locked inside until he left.

Sirius inspected himself; his left eye was purple and swollen, his lips had cuts and dried blood, some blood was still coming out of his mouth, his hands were bleeding, his back was killing him.

His father had beat him harder than he had in the past. Sirius had two assumptions; he was drunker than usual… or, since his mother had not given his father any instructions, then he had done what he wanted to do.

Sirius hung his head and gripped the porcelain sink as more tears escaped his body. How he even deserved this he hadn’t known. Who was he to stop himself from being clumsy, gay, a boy ninety percent of the time, or uninterested in dark magic?! It was who he was!

Without even looking up, he brought his fist up and smashed the mirror to bits. He spun on his heels and punched the wall above the toilet paper holder; leaving a vast hole in the plaster and wallpaper. It left him feeling elated.

He took out his pocket knife from his slacks and added a few more cuts to his wrists before pocketing it again. Sirius became nauseous and threw himself over the toilet where he threw up blood, his dinner, and some bile. He growled as he flushed it down.

About twenty minutes later, he went to his youngest siblings room. He knocked on the door as he entered. Regulus ran up to their brother and wrapped their arms tightly around his middle. Sirius hugged Regulus tight, kissing their head.

“I love you.” Sirius whispered.

“I love you, too.” Regulus replied. “But you can’t leave.”

“I have to! Did you not hear what was going on downstairs?!” Sirius yelled, gesturing to the staircase outside the room leading to the living room he just left. “Do you not see the condition my body is in?!” He gestured to himself.

“YOU FUCKING PROMISED! YOU WERE THERE TO PROTECT ME!” Regulus had hot tears stinging their grey eyes. “You should not have come in. You should have just left!”

“I wanted to say something before I left.”

“Bullshit.” Regulus growled, grabbing a photo album and throwing it at Sirius’ head. Sirius ducked. “You promised! All you do is hurt us!”

Sirius squeezed his eyes shut. “It's not me.” He choked out, the last thing he wanted was for his brother to hate him.

“NO!” Regulus yelled, punching the wall beside Sirius’ head, baring their teeth. “If you want to leave, then leave!” They whispered through their teeth. Regulus' body shook with adrenaline.

Sirius watched Regulus’ cheeks turn from pink to a burning red. Their sad grey eyes were like daggers to his heart, much more so than his mothers. He had been close to his brother. Sirius shoved Regulus away, causing the youngest heir to stumble back.

“FINE!” Sirius growled through clenched teeth. “I thought I could protect you and get you to follow me.”

“They need me!” Regulus whispered, grey eyes searching the grey carpet below them.

“You do not have to do this. Just tell them.” Sirius pleaded. Regulus glared up at him. Sirius nodded. “Alright. Do not tell me I didn’t try. I love you.” He turned out into the hallway and headed to his room as his heart shattered. No one in this house loved him anymore, so he would just go to someone who did.

“I love you. I’m sorry.” Regulus whispered after him.

Sirius heard them.

***midnight***

Walburga sat happily at the table in the sitting room. Humming, she stirred her tea with a small silver spoon and ignored the loud noises from upstairs. Walburga didn’t care about what was going on. If there was damage, she would have someone fix it later. She knew Saiph would outlash at his punishments. Someone trampled down the stairs. Bumping against something every few moments.

“I’m leaving,” Sirius barked, “And you will not be seeing me anymore. I will not be coming back.”

“I would not want you back anyway.”

Walburga didn’t bother getting up. She sat and watched her son/daughter as he stormed out the front doors. With the slam of the front door, everything felt lighter. It should not have felt nice but it had. Sirius was a Gryffindor, he always had been. He never fit in with their Slytherin house, their Dark Arts, the Death Eaters. That was Regina's job.

Walburga was confused when she heard someone else come running. She stood and entered the living room. “Regina.” She said calmly. Regulus stopped in his tracks, looking up at his mother. “She disappointed us. You know that, right?”

Regulus nodded. “But-”

“You will not disappoint us too, Regina. Got it?” Walburga warned.

“Yes, Ma’am.” Regulus/Regina answered sadly. Walburga didn’t catch her tone as she was too busy pulling out her wand and changing the wards.

“She is an ungrateful brat. I did my best, she still had not listened. Then Hogwarts went and sorted her into the wrong house!” She whirled on Regina, taking wide steps until she gripped her chin, locking their eyes together. “You are still focused on finding a suitable heir, yes?”

Regulus/Regina nodded. Though she was just fourteen, she knew how important marrying wealthy pure-blood men was to her mother. She just could not help how he felt towards a certain someone at Hogwarts or how he felt to his own body. She needed to be on her mother’s good side, no matter how hard it got at times. She could have her fun without her finding out, do her duties as a Death Eater on the side, and still have everything be completely alright when she graduates.

Right?

“I know how much it means to you that this family stays together, but unfortunately Syfrin had other plans.” Walburga would see to it that she would not suffer from her older sisters. She would be seen as the one and only suitable heiress of the House of Black who would hopefully bring up suitable heirs in the future.

Regulus followed her to the tapestry and watched as she pointed her wand at Sirius' name; in which the tapestry and every pure-blood paper had re-wrote istelf to suit who Sirius was when he changed who he was in the family. Regulus intended to do that someday as he watched an intense beam come from Walburga's wand.

With satisfaction, Walburga watched the name of what she thought to be her last rotten spawn become burnt off the family tree.

**1977**

Walburga took a trip to Hogsmeade a week after the kids had gone back to school. She did her best to keep herself out of sight from prying eyes as people would surely talk. She had just wanted to see if she could spot Regulus having a bit of enjoyment for once before she headed to Knockturn Alley to find the ingredients she needed to ward the house from Boggarts and Dementors once again.

She had found Regina/Regulus just moments before she turned toward the alley.

Her blood boiled.

She was with her brother, laughing at whatever Potter was saying! Walburga pulled her hands into fists, her nails digging into her palms.

How dare she!

Yet she could not do anything for fear of exposing herself.

Moving on from her disgrace of children, she turned toward Knockturn Alley and right into ‘Cobb & Webb’s’ where she had bumped into…

“Peter?” She questioned. His blue eyes darted around the alley.

What is a sixteen year old doing down here? Isn’t this one of Sirius’ friends?

“Why are you here?”

“I, uh, I’m…” he stuttered. “Sirius doesn’t know.”

“Death Eater, are you?” Walburga thought aloud. Peter nodded.

Why in the whole bloody world did Syfrin become friends with the shyest, drawn-back people? SHE SHOULD HAVE BEEN A SLYTHERIN! At least she would have proper friends that…

Walburga stopped herself and looked at the timid Pettigrew with a sinister smile. She pulled them off to the side and sat him on a bench.

“What are they having you do?”

*1978*

When Regina/Regulus was eighteen, the house became empty and quiet.

Walburga had not heard from her baby in weeks.

She had gotten no letters from her about how Hogwarts was going.

No letters from the Death Eater headquarters.

Walburga had waited for Regina to return for months but she knew by now that she was dead.

The tapestry gave it away.

Regina had been a good girl, she did not deserve the cold hands of death.

*1981*

Now here Walburga was, getting ready for the trial of her firstborn.

She had not seen Syfrin in five years. Walburga refused to attend her wedding to Remus Lupin; the monster, the tainted half-blood. He was just another faggot to deal with. She hated that Sirius had the ability to conceive and bear a daughter with that monster. It left a bitter taste in her mouth that he had even considered the blood-traitor and the mudblood half-blood girl as the child’s Uncle and Aunt alongside her brother. She destroyed Sirius' room when Regulus had become a Godfather to those two’s tainted spawn.

Walburga sensed deep inside she was not getting the full story… that someone was lying to her. If she found out that one of her children lied to her, they would feel her wrath. She could handle punishing Syfrin again, but punishing Regina or Narcissa would crush her spirit even more than it had five years ago when she hurt her eldest son. Narcissa and Regina were the ones who followed their footsteps religiously. Cygnus and some boy named Tom had caused Bellatrix to become too far gone. Andromeda went and married a mudblood Hufflepuff; getting herself disowned.

Entering the courtroom, Walburga sat in the front row. She needed to see everything. A sinister smile crept onto her face as she muttered spells that made them not hear Sirius' cries, as well as whatever she said turn to lies. They deserved this. She had murdered her friends in cold blood and that monster of a husband hated them. Peter was out of the picture, her friends were dead, Remus was hated, outcast, and alone. As soon as Sirius was behind bars in Azkaban,

Walburga was free.

*

Two Aurors dragged Syfrin/Sirius into the courtroom.

It had only been a few months since she had been arrested and time was not nice to her. Walburga could tell she had not slept, that she had been crying and inflicting pain on himself. It made Walburga happy.

If you had just been in Slytherin, none of this would be happening.

Sirius struggled against the restraints, growling menacingly at the Aurors as they struggled to get him in more restraints. He screamed as they threw Crucio spells at him. “I did not do it! It was not me! Are any of you daft bastards listening to me?! You are all full of bullshit and this is fucking… you all need to burn in fucking hell!”

I used to wash your mouth out with soap for that mouth of yours. Can’t believe someone actually kisses your ashtray, liquor filled, vile mouth and those kids of yours are not terrified of their so called parent; a drunk, smoke and drug addicted, vile parent.

Walburga sat there smirking, her eyes trained on her screaming traitor daughter.

Her cries fell on mute ears.

No one was listening.

She put this on himself.

The more she struggled, the happier Walburga was.

He abandoned his families, his brothers, his friends, lovers, and more.

There truly was no one on her side…

There never had been.

The Wizengamont found Sirius guilty and he was dragged out of the courtroom screaming vile curses and laughing maniacally.

Even if you had complied nicely in a calm manner… impossible in this family… they still would have hauled you off. Glad to be rid of you.

*

Walburga was still smiling as she got home.

It was unsettlingly quiet with all her children gone, her husband, heiress, and brother dead, and her other brother living off on his own. She put her veiled hat down on her bed.

From the corner of her eyes, she saw something that made her skin crawl.

It could not be real…She despised her! Everything about her mother made her skin crawl and her blood boil.

I refused to turn into her! I did everything in my power to be different!

She turned slowly towards the mirror on her vanity dresser pushed toward the far end of the room.

“No.” She whispered.

She approached the mirror slowly, locking eyes with her own reflection. “No.” She repeated, shaking her head. “No, no, no, no!” She was smiling back at herself with the same malicious smile her mother had when she had beaten her. The smile she knew was plastered on her face when she beat her first-born. She screamed as she punched the mirror; shards of glass rained down on her, the vanity, and the green carpet below.

Walburga found herself on her knees screaming through her tears. She blindly reached for her wand, finding it on her vanity in a pile of glass. She let the shards cut her as she picked up her wand and herself then stormed off to Sirius’ room.

She kicked his door open then stood staring at his destroyed Gryffindor decorated room for a moment. Walburga could feel the tears flowing down her cheeks as she ripped photos of Sirius’ friends and himself off the walls…

“TRAITOR!” She screamed.

She tore posters and banners down, destroyed his bed further and wiped all the makeup and ink pots off his vanity. She ripped his clothes from his closet, wanting to burn the dresses he had stolen from his sisters.

“Faggot.” She growled, storming off to Regulus' bedroom.

Her heart shattered when she opened the door to her youngests' room. There was nothing out of place in the room and everything was neatly in its place, yet there was a weird feeling emitting off the walls of the room. Regulus had kept everything straight and tidy, but something still felt off. Walburga tore through the room as the front doors slammed open. Walburga looked up from where she knelt on her daughter's floor.

“Dementors.” She whispered to herself. Walburga shook her head and continued searching through her child's clothes, journals, and closet. She pried open a hide-away door that hadn’t been shut all the way.

“Lumos.”

Her heart broke.

“Alphard!” She growled.

She stood up from the small painting room Regina/Regulus had made, coming face to face with a painting that was full of emotion. It was gold, green, silver, and orange with streaks of black weaving through the colours.

“No.” She whispered, thinking back to her daughter smiling at James in the pub.

She backed up into her hanging suits. A Gryffindor tie fell from one of the hangers. ‘J.P’ was embroidered on the bottom. She picked it up in shaking hands as she bit her bottom lip. Tears threatened to spill. She could hear the Dementors and Death Eaters below tear through her house but she did not care anymore.

Walburga let the tie slip from her hands as she exited the closet and fell to Regulus’ bed in body wracking sobs.

“When did this happen?” She asked herself as her muscles tensed and her body became numb.

No one heard from Walburga Black after the trial.

Dementors and Death Eaters raiding her house for the locket was all over the newspapers.

They had killed her…

Karma killed her.

***

read here

Feel free to comment your thoughts or questions! I am sorry if it does not make a lot of sense or things are confusing, I just wrote what felt right. Hopefully future chapters will help connect some puzzles.

(Updates might be slow and out of place... bear with me, I work an overnight job)

Next up? Lyall Lupin and Hope Howell.

[fleetingpieces]

Everything we were

You can read Chapter 1 here if you missed it!

Chapter 2

Everything was quiet at number twelve Grimmauld Place. It was the middle of the night after all, everyone was supposed to be sleeping. But then again, twelve Grimmauld Place was not like most households. For example, if you were to go inside (not that you could), you probably wouldn’t be able to tell that two little kids lived there. Most children would leave a trail of toys and messiness around, and light up the place with laughter.

In this residence though, everything was dark. The walls, the floors and most of the people that lived inside. Light just seemed to be absorbed by the very house, leaving an almost permanent gloomy atmosphere. Every room had a sense of royal dignity, and the only sign that there were children living in the building could be found in the two rooms on the top floor. In there, small snippets of young disarray and life could be seen, even if the house elf tried to keep everything up to the standards of such an important family: A broom fallen on the floor, quidditch magazines under the bed and a deck of exploding snap discarded on top of a desk. It was also there that you could hear the whispered laughter. Just like tonight.

On top of the bed in one of the dark rooms, a makeshift tent was erected with bed covers, and the silhouettes of two young boys were drawn on the canvas. Sirius Black was huddled underneath, being careful not to drop the lamp he had brought in so he and his brother Regulus could read the letter for what felt like the hundredth time.

“I can’t believe you are going to Hogwarts tomorrow.”

“Well you better believe it dear brother, ‘cause I’m going to make history!” Sirius grinned at Regulus like a madman, making him giggle.

“You are 11, what do you mean ‘make history’?”

“I am working through my options little Reggie, but I was thinking I should definitely try and ride that giant squid.”

That made Regulus laugh harder and roll on the bed, clutching his stomach. Sirius smiled at him affectionately.

“I’m being serious here, Reg.”

“As fun as it would be to see you thrown around by giant tentacles, you probably shouldn’t.” Regulus stopped laughing and got more thoughtful. “Please be careful brother, you don’t want to disappoint mother.”

Sirius frowned at this. His brother was right of course, but the mention of their parents brought that familiar heavy feeling in his chest. Even if he tried, there were always things that made his parents feel disappointed. He didn’t walk straight enough, didn’t study hard enough, he corrupted his brother by hugging and laughing too much. Sirius didn’t know many kids other than the ones in his family, but he sometimes thought that the way they were brought up was not completely normal. The coldness from the house and his parents made him sad, and the only reason why he knew that he wanted more was because of the nice fuzzy feeling he got whenever he and Reg were playing together out of their parents' sight.

Orion and Walburga Black were very strict, the most important things for them being reputation and power. Sirius didn’t really care about any of those, even if he did like the attention. He wondered, not for the first time, if he should talk about his discomfort with Regulus, but his brother didn’t seem to have the same doubts, he was always happy to please their parents. Then again, Reg was his only friend. Sirius bit his lip for a second, making up his mind. He had just opened his mouth when he was suddenly interrupted.

“Where do you think the Slytherin common room is?”

Sirius pursed his lips. “I heard Bella and Narcissa say that it’s in the dungeons, underneath the lake.” He frowned, considering. “Not sure I believe that last part, to be honest.”

“I guess you will find out soon enough,” said Reg, glancing up with an excited smile that made Sirius shift uncomfortably. It was now or never.

“Reggie…do you think that our parents…” He stopped, taking a deep breath. “I mean. Do you ever think what they say is not right?”

Reg’s smile fell, suddenly he looked scared and glanced around, as if he thought their mother might be hiding in the wardrobe. “What do you mean?”

“Well it’s just that sometimes I don’t understand. This blood thing for example. It’s not really the mudblood’s fault, so why hate them? They didn’t do anything wrong, right?”

“I don’t know Siri…Mum and Dad must know what they are talking about.”

“I don’t know how to explain it, it just doesn’t feel like that to me!” Sirius huffed, frustrated. It never really made sense to him, why be against someone just because of who their parents were? Sirius didn’t know why it felt weird to him, all of his cousins and the few kids he knew, like Malfoy, believed in this speech. With the possible exception of Andromeda, but no one spoke about her anymore. “I think there should be more to it. But mum always tells me off when I ask questions.”

Reg’s eyes widened, he looked positively nervous now, but also a bit awestruck.

“You asked her?”

“Yeah,” Sirius rubbed his ear absent-mindedly, exactly where his mum pulled whenever he questioned her. Then he scoffed. “Not that she ever gave me any answers.”

Regulus caught Sirius’ hands and held on tight to them, looking at him earnestly. “Siri, please be careful. Try to stay out of trouble, don’t give mum any excuses to…” He stopped himself and looked down. When his eyes found Sirius’ again, they were shining. “I’m going to miss you.”

Sirius’ body relaxed at his little brother’s words. “Don’t worry, a little hex on a fellow student every now and then is fine.” Sirius winked. Then he tugged at Regulus’ hands, pulling him into a tight embrace. “I will miss you too Reg. But think about it, next year we’ll be together at school! We won’t have to hide in our rooms to play then.”

They both grinned at each other as that idea settled in.

“Yeah! Then we can spend time in the common room! Not sure how I feel about the dungeons though...” Regulus pulled a face that Sirius wanted to laugh at, but instead he stared at his lap to avoid his brother’s excitement. He fidgeted before he gathered the courage to speak up again.

“What if…what if I am not in Slytherin?” When Regulus gasped, Sirius hurried to add, “I mean, it wouldn’t matter, right? Even if we end up in different houses it would be fine! …Right?” He looked up hopefully at Regulus’ weary expression, his heart clenching.

“But Siri…Every Black has been sorted into Slytherin before. Even Andromeda! And you know how she is…”

“I know, but I don’t think I would fit in...I feel like I don’t belong there. But I don’t believe it matters that much anyway.”

Regulus watched Sirius silently, feeling impressed. He worshipped Sirius. The feeling he got from his older brother had always been one of love and acceptance. He knew that no matter what, Sirius would always wait for him with open arms, talk to him like nothing mattered other than the two of them, and listen to him when something was making Reg anxious.

“Please, just…don’t forget about me.”

“’Course I won’t Reggie! I will write to tell you everything. And even if we are not in the same house, you will always be my little brother.”

“You promise?”

“I promise.”

They both smiled again, hugging one last time before Sirius got up and placed the lamp back on the desk. He wanted to stay with Reg so they could sleep together before he had to leave. He knew Reg wanted the same thing by the way the smaller boy was looking at him, and the small sound of protest he made, but they both knew Walburga would never approve. Instead, Sirius tucked his little brother in and ruffled his hair.

“I love you Reggie.”

Regulus pulled the covers up to his nose, too embarrassed to say it out loud. He knew he wasn’t supposed to. But Sirius knew. He smiled fondly at Regulus, closed the door on his way out and headed to the room across the hall. Lying under his own covers, Sirius thought for a while about everything they had spoken about.

Being alone there, his bed felt awfully cold.

  Platform 9 ¾ seemed almost too bright and noisy the next morning. Parents were hugging their children and saying goodbye, students were laughing with their friends, reunited after a long summer apart, with the red engine belching clouds of white smoke over the chattering crowd. Sirius just stood there, back straight, trying not to show how marvelled he was. His mother was standing next to him, looking at everyone down her nose with a sneer on her face. Glancing the other way quickly to hide his frown, Sirius’ eyes landed on a young woman with blond hair, who was crouched down in front of a small tawny haired boy, hugging him tightly with a smile on her face. He wasn’t sure why the sight made him feel uncomfortable, but still he couldn’t look away. Apparently it was more common than he thought, to hug your kid like that in front of everyone. Most parents at the station were doing it. His mind drifted, wondering how it would feel like to have someone fuss affectionately over him like that.

“Sirius.”

His Mum’s stern voice broke his train of thought, making him look up at her expectantly. He was going to be away for a very long time. Maybe his mum would hug him too?

“Stand up properly, you are slouching. Do not forget, you are not like these people.”

Straightening his back so much it almost hurt, Sirius tried to hide his disappointment. He squared his shoulders and lifted his chin, but his mum was still giving him a severe look.

“Now go along. And don’t forget where you come from, Sirius. Toujours Pur. Do not mingle with filth.” She said the last part while looking at a boy in front of them, who was jumping excitedly next to his parents. He had dark hair and was pointing at the train while tugging repeatedly at his mum’s sleeve, both adults were laughing and smiling fondly at him.

“Yes, mother.” Sirius used the distraction to covertly squeeze Reg’s hand before dragging his trunk to the closest carriage. He tried not to run and keep a dignified air about him, something that was really hard to do given the excitement that was starting to take over his whole body.

As soon as he was out of sight from his mum, his posture relaxed visibly. Sirius found an empty compartment and went straight to the window for a final wave, but his mother was already dragging Regulus out of the station. Scowling, he sat down and tried not to feel hurt, which became easier to do as the idea of finally going to Hogwarts seized him again with a new wave of enthusiasm. Soon, he was daydreaming about what it would be like. He knew it wasn’t right, but he just couldn’t wait to learn magic and do something fun. More than that, he couldn’t wait to make friends. Sirius got comfortable on his seat, putting his back against the window so he wouldn’t have to see the parents loitering there for a last goodbye, and stretched his legs in front of him on top of the seat.

There was a sudden noise outside when someone opened the door loudly, and a boy around his age came in smiling.

“Hey mate! Can I sit here?”

It was the dark haired boy from before, the one his mother clearly didn’t want him to associate with. Sirius glanced at him slowly, considering. He was slight, his raven hair pointed in every direction and his robes, even though they were clearly new and expensive, looked dishevelled and carefree. There was an air about him of someone well cared for that Sirius felt unconsciously drawn to. The smile on his face was so big, Sirius could feel the corners of his own mouth quirking up. He couldn’t think of any reason to refuse him, the boy seemed nice enough, so Sirius offered a lazy smile in return.

“Yeah, ‘course you can.”

“Awesome. I’m James Potter, by the way,” the boy said before promptly throwing himself on the seat in front of Sirius.

“Sirius Black.”

“Black? I think the name rings a bell.”

Sirius scoffed and sat properly, making a great impression of the stuck up git his mother expected him to be.

“Of course it does. You should feel honoured, you are in the presence of the heir to The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black.”

James laughed loudly and adopted a similar posture, one hand behind his back and the other drawn to his chest. He made a mock bow, and spoke in a pompous tone.

“Well you, my friend, have the even greater honour of being in front of the heir to the Sleekeazy fortune.”

Sirius threw his head back and laughed in a way that somehow felt relieving. It was free and natural, and Sirius found himself wondering if he’d ever laughed like that before.

“How can you be the heir to the most famous hair potion and still have a bird’s nest on your head!”

“Oy! I’ll have you know, I prefer my hair like this. Looks cooler.”

“Sure mate, whatever you say,” said Sirius, but he grinned.

Just as the train was starting to move, the compartment door slid open again, and a girl with red hair stormed in. She slumped on a seat as far away from the boys as possible and hid her face behind a curtain of her long hair. James and Sirius looked at each other and shrugged.

“So what do you reckon we’ll be learning first?” James asked.

“I don’t know, but I can’t wait to try this Bat-bogey hex I’ve read about.”

“Cool! I asked my Dad to teach me some hexes, but Mum refused. Said I was enough trouble as it is. But Dad helped me hide some dung bombs in my trunk when Mum wasn’t looking,” said James with a mischievous smirk on his face.

As time went by, Sirius was surprised to find himself feeling more and more relaxed. Talking to James was so easy, he didn’t have to think about his every word before speaking. It was natural. James was the opposite of all the kids he’d met before. He was lively and easy going, but sure of himself in a way that wasn’t obnoxious like most of the purebloods Sirius knew.

The landscape outside the window was rolling at a high speed, and for the third time in what seemed like only a short while, the door to the compartment opened. Another dark haired boy, already in his Hogwarts robes, came in and sat in front of the girl, muttering something to her. The two boys ignored them, too engrossed in their own conversation, until the new boy started getting excited, and his voice louder.

“This is it! We’re off to Hogwarts! You’d better be in Slytherin.”

At the last word, James’ head snapped up.

“Slytherin?” The two other students turned around to face him. “Who wants to be in Slytherin? I think I’d leave, wouldn’t you?” James asked Sirius, who was lounging on his seat. Sirius frowned, feeling his heart sink a little.

“My whole family have been in Slytherin.”

“Blimey,” said James, “and I thought you seemed all right!”

Sirius grinned to hide his nervousness.

“Maybe I’ll break the tradition. Where are you heading, if you’ve got the choice?”

James lifted an invisible sword.

“’Gryffindor, where dwell the brave at heart!’ Like my dad.”

The boy by the door made a small, disparaging noise. James turned on him.

“Got a problem with that?”

“No,” he said, though his slight sneer said otherwise. “If you’d rather be brawny than brainy –”

“Where are you hoping to go, seeing as you’re neither?” interjected Sirius.

James roared with laughter. The red-haired girl, with her big green eyes that looked like she’d been crying, sat up, rather flushed, and looked from James to Sirius in dislike.

“Come on, Severus, let’s find another compartment.”

“Ooooo …”

James and Sirius imitated her lofty voice, and James smirked in their direction.

“See ya, Snivellus!”

The compartment door slammed, making the two boys roll in hysterics.

“What a git!”

“Maybe you can try that Bat-bogey hex on him,” said James, and they both burst out laughing again.

Note: The meeting scene between James, Sirius, Snape and Lily in this chapter is adapted from a Harry Potter book, and consequently does not belong to me, I just built the story around it.

[lilana163]

Reunited: Chapter 6

July 31st 1991 was the day Harry Potter would get his Hogwarts letter, usually, one would be excited to wake up to a morning filled with birthday wishes, hugs, and kisses but that wasn't Harry, the only people he wanted to receive hugs, wishes, and kisses from weren't with him anymore. So instead of wanting praises, all he ever asked for is stories, to be more specific he asked for stories about Aurora and James Potter.

" HAPPY BIRTHDAY SQUIRT," Nymphadora yelled from the top of her lungs throwing herself on top of a sleeping Harry.

" Nymphadora Tonks, get off the poor boy!" Andromeda scolded as she held one red velvet cupcake with a lit candle.

" Don't call me that!" Nymphadora mumbled laying beside Harry who rubbed his eyes groggily sitting up from where he laid.

" Happy Birthday Harry!" Ted walked over to the boy ruffling his raven hair which he inherited from none other than Aurora Potter, Andromeda walked over to the two boys holding out the cupcake in front of Harry who chuckled amusingly.

" Make a wish," Andromeda said looking down at the messy-haired boy, Harry smiled brightly at his aunt as he fixed his circular glasses on his nose.

" I wish to hear all the stories about my mum and dad," Harry wished closing his eyes and blowing out the candle, it was no surprise when hearing Harry's wish the boy said it every year but it still and will always carve a hole in Andromeda's heart even if she doesn't show it.

" As you wish," Andromeda answered giving Harry his cupcake while taking a seat on the edge of his twin-sized bed, Ted followed Andromeda and sat on the opposite side all prepared to listen in on the story.

" I remember your mothers eleventh like it was yesterday, your mum and Cissy were extremely spoiled those girls lived like absolute princesses. Anyways your grandmother Druella planed a whole ball it was magnificent, the most beautiful ball I've been to. That morning I and aunt Bella got the honour or so my father said, well we got to give the girls their Hogwarts letters. Oh dear, I must have the picture somewhere! We walked into Auroras room finding her, Narcissa, Regulus, and Sirius all huddled up on the bed together, it was the funniest thing because Sirius somehow managed to get his toes close to Narcissa's mouth, she tended to sleep with her mouth open so it looked like she'd been eating his pale toes when we woke them u-," Andromeda began to tell her story which Harry greatly appreciated since he hasn't heard of the stories of his mum's life from age eleven and up, the brunette was interpreted by a loud pop.

" Master Potter! Happy Birthday," Kreacher squealed rushing up to Harry, ever since the incident when Aurora was 15 Kreacher has been a free elf, even though he had the gift to do whatever he pleased. He made an oath to himself that he would never leave Aurora to thank her for such kindness she gave him. The day Aurora passed, Kreacher made himself Harry's elf and ever since then Kreacher would only obey and listen to the young boy.

" Thanks, Kreacher but I've told you to call me Harry," he told Kreacher. At his words, the house-elf began to mumble apologies all while banging his head on the white coloured wall.

" Stop hitting yourself," Harry pointed his finger at the house-elf which made the scrawny elf immediately stop to look at the younger boy with teary eyes as he handed him a small velvet picture book.

" Kreacher knows how Mr Harry likes pictures of my dear old  Mistress Aurora, Kreacher found a picture book in the Black manor for Mr Harry it has some pictures of Master James, as well as Mistress Aurora's friends!" Kreacher raised his voice jumping up and down which was very unlike him though he only ever showed that side of him to Harry, the elf beckoned for Harry to open the picture book making his eyes widened in excitement.

" Thank you, Kreacher!" Harry yelled while running his hands on a moving picture of his mother, each page had its own inscription written by Aurora or other initials he didn't recognise.

Taken by Prongs aka the love of your life (1976)

Future Mrs Potter ;) j.p

Future Mrs Lupin ;) a.b

" Who's Lupin?!" Harry asked Andromeda who laughed at the small written notes below the picture.

" That's your parent's friends last name, they would refer to him as Moony though I'm not quite sure why but his actual name is Remus," She responded quickly wiping away a tear as she watched the picture replay, Ted being the only one to notice he began to rub her back in a soothing manner.

Taken by Ara (1976)

My Bubsy is adorable! a.b

" Mum calls uncle Regulus Bubsy?" Harry looked away from the book earning a nod from Andromeda who got up from the bed with tears welling in her eyes.

" Harry I think it's best if you get ready for today, the Weasleys and your aunts and uncles will arrive soon," Andromeda said quickly rushing out the bedroom, she dashed down the hall into her own now allowing her tears to fall from her grey eyes, she walked over to the only picture she had of her sister which laid perfectly on the desk.

The door creaked alerting the brunette of someone's presence, Andromeda turned back to see Ted who sent her a sad smile as he slowly approached her to see what his wife held.

" Eleven, Eleven was the last age I got to see my sister. The pictures Harry carries I look at them, and all I see is a stranger. I never go to truly know her, all I have of her are the 487 letters she would send and this one picture, I probably would have never met Harry if Narcissa was stable enough to take him in," Andromeda muttered holding onto the moving picture of an eleven-year-old Aurora, Ted snaked his arm around her waist pulling Andy into a side hug.

Meanwhile, in Harry's room, Kreacher helped the young boy get ready for his birthday brunch which he was excited for, after many years of asking his mum's side of the family to join and celebrate with the Tonks and Weasleys they finally gave in, much to their distaste.

" Kreacher will pack Mr Harry's things for the Lestrange Manor," Kreacher said levitating shirts and pants into a big brown trunk, Harry nodded in approval before running down the stairs to wait for his guests.

The Weasleys were the first to arrive soon after Bellatrix and Rodolphus Lestrange which made the atmosphere intense as they only acknowledged Harry not sparing a glance to any other.

" Oh that must be Aunt Cissa," Harry jumped up from his seat excitingly running to open the door, Andromeda tensed up not liking how Harry decided on inviting her sisters which whom she wasn't on good terms.

" Happy Birthday Harry!" Draco yelled throwing his hands around his cousin pulling him into a hug, he was soon tugged off by his younger sister.

" Move it Dragon let me bless my dear cousin with my presence, Happy Birthday Harold!" the small blonde said managing to pry Draco off Harry and pulling the green-eyed boy into a hug.

" Thanks, Draco and Aurora," Harry replied ruffling his younger cousins hair which she tried to swat off not wanting her perfectly curled locks messed up.

" Happy Birthday Harry," Lucius gave the boy a thin lip smile before entering the place with such disgust, Lucius only came for Harry and because he lives by the quote happy wife happy life.

Narcissa hadn't said anything to the boy she just stood there awkwardly as Harry waited for her to enter, Narcissa barely visited the boy instead she sent Harry letters or gifts whenever Draco and Aurora were with Harry. The raven-haired boy's eyes were too alike to his mothers, Narcissa only ever looked into his deep green eyes five times in her life, the day Harry was born she caught a glimpse of his eyes while she washed away the blood from being in the womb, Narcissa saw her nephews eyes when she visited Godrics Hollow twice after he was born, and lastly the day she lost her sister, ever since the Halloween in which her twin's life was taken Narcissa couldn't find the courage to look at his emerald eyes until today.

" Aunt Cissa are you okay?" Harry asked with clear worry watching how a tear slipped from his aunt's eye, after hearing her name she quickly got back to reality realising it was not her sister who stood in front of her but her godson instead.

" I'm fine, I just haven't seen you in a while that's all. Now, where are my manners? Happy Birthday, Ar-Harry, Happy Birthday Harry," She smiled showing off her pearly white teeth as she brought the boy into a bone-crushing hug.

" We should probably join the others," Lucius said catching how his wife almost mistaken the boy for her sister.

" Come on, your seats are by me and auntie Trix and uncle Rodolphus," Harry told Malfoys dragging Narcissa by the hand into the dining area, once the group reached the table all fell silent, Lucius looked at the group in disgust before taking his seat by Rodolphus not bothering to return the nod Arthur Weasley sent his way.

" Since we're all here, um well dig in!" Andromeda said forcing a smile as she gestured to the assorted food, to cut the tension they all began to pile different foods on their white plate.

" So Harry what do you have planned for this special day?" Arthur asked from across the table, Harry smiled brightly at the man before turning to Narcissa who was scolding Bellatrix on her manners.

" I would certainly love to hear the different stories about my mum and dad. I was wondering if you could tell a few aunt Cissy," Harry replied turning the attention from Arthur to Narcissa who nodded approvingly. Lucius tensed up seeing his wife agree, he knew that Aurora was always a sensitive topic for Narcissa. Lucius never truly understood how deep their bond ran until his wife quite literally broke down, he had just got her back and he isn't going to let her go back to such a state without a fight. The blonde man was good at hiding his feelings, and because of this, he managed to master an outstanding poker face. Though it was hard keeping up such a show when you see your wife would silently cry into her pillow, the tragic death of Aurora Potter hit Narcissa in waves, Lucius never would've thought the day he lost his sister in law meant losing his wife and the mother of his kids in the process. It was dark times for the Malfoy's so it came as a shock when one day on a very cloudy morning everything seemed just a tad bit better, Narcissa began to shower and dress on her own and that was enough for Lucius to shed a tear, the day he so begged for finally came, it was some progress but it was enough to make his world.

" Well since you are to receive your Hogwarts letter today, I think it's only fitting to start with your mother's days at Hogwarts including your father though do keep in mind that I never really fancied being around James so I don't quite much to tell," Narcissa spoke to Harry with a smile that radiated warmth, Harry's eyes lit up as he jumped up and down his seat eagerly waiting to hear about his parents days at Hogwarts.

" Start with your first day, beginning to end!" He was quivering all over with excitement making all chuckle at his demeanour Narcissa nodded with a twinkle in her eyes seeing how worked up the boy got.

" If you insist," she began breathing out a deep sigh reaching out for his small hand and holding it with hers, "I and your mother were thrilled when we stood in platform 9 3/4, yes we've been there hundreds of times to say our goodbyes to Andromeda and Bella but you get a whole different euphoria when knowing it's you who will be stepping into that scarlet red train. To begin a new chapter of your life, Hogwarts is everyone's second home and that's what made me and your mother feel like it was Christmas morning for our first year. Especially because we had sisters who would constantly talk about the wonders of Hogwarts. I remember my first day like it was yesterday, your grandmother talked to us about making the family proud and so on then um-," Narcissa rambled then hesitantly looked up at Andromeda and Ted who seemed to know her next words, though knowing the story Andromeda was rather curious to hear her sisters view, the brunette was prepared to defend herself if Narcissa were to make a snarky remark making tension collect between the two.

" Well someone pulled us aside to inform us that she'll be running off with a mudblood and live her happily ever after because that was way more important than her younger sisters, who she left behind to fend for themselves in such a gruesome manner in which we had to call home," Narcissa said smiling innocently at the boy who hadn't seemed bothered of the m-word instead he shrugged it off as if it were nothing, unlike the Weasleys and Tonks who gasped at the word which fell so elegantly out of her red painted lips.

" How dare you speak that word in my house!" Andromeda stood up from her seat pushing it back send death glares her younger sisters way, Bellatrix was smirking but soon it faltered seeing her traitor of a sister hold her wand to the side of her dress hiding it from Narcissa's view.

" Now, now calm down Andromeda you wouldn't want to have a petty argument on Harry's birthday. It's not needed to ruin such a special day for him, so I suggest you take a seat so I may continue the story, where I left off before I was rudely cut off," Narcissa huffed glaring at her sister, Andromeda hesitantly sat down with a scowl on her face making it evident she would rather be anywhere else much to Bellatrix's entertainment.

" Aurora loved to keep a happy persona up even in the darkest of times, so even though she felt hurt by what I say was a betrayal of a sister, she found the light in her hurt. I don't know how your mother saw the best in everything, anyways during the boat ride to Hogwarts James went on and on about how gorgeous your mummy was, which she found quite annoying immediately becoming not so fond of him. Yet she managed to get herself married to him and have a wonderful child as well," Narcissa said while Harry sat slightly leaning over the table listening intently while the Lestranges and Lucius glared at the Weasleys who glared daggers at Narcissa still seeming hurt by her words.

" Your mum and uncle Sirius both got sorted into Gryffindor, if I am being honest I saw that coming though if you met your mother one would tell she was a mix of both Slytherin and Gryffindor. I remember how Aurora glanced over at the Slytherin table looking at me with her deep green eyes, I could tell she was shocked and maybe scared but all it took was a reassuring smile and she walked on over to the Gryffindor table," Narcissa told Harry seeing how his eyes began to water, Aurora seemed to notice this and walked over to hug the boy.

" Are you okay Harry?" Bellatrix asked softening her expression seeing how his eyes got tearier by the minute, all attention turned to Harry who nodded blinking away his tears.

" I wish I could've met them, I wish I could've met mum and dad," Harry muttered looking down at his plate not daring to meet the staring gaze of the others.

"They're always with you Harry, even if you don't see them," Andromeda spoke from across the table as she leaned over to get a view of the boy.

" I would like to hear the rest of the story please," he stated trying to change the subject it was silent for a few seconds before the sound of Narcissa clearing her throat broke it.

" Ahh where was, well when your mother...

Flashback:

All houses were dismissed for bed, the corridors were crowded with students all going in different directions. If it weren't for her sisters laugh the blonde wouldn't have found the person she was most eager to speak to.

Narcissa fastened her past swiftly moving past the large crowd of students, she finally spotted the group of five she hung with earlier making a turn for another corridor. Narcissa took advantage and pulled her sister into a dark and empty one, Aurora was ready to punch the living daylights out of Narcissa before she spotted the blonde locks and came to the conclusion it was not a weirdo.

" Cissy," Aurora blurted out throwing herself into her sister's warm embrace, Narcissa was taken back by the action but gave in from hearing a quiet sob.

" Please don't be mad I don't w-," Aurora started but was cut off by her sister who moved to cup her face.

" I'm not mad, nothing could come between us. I won't let our houses define the relationship we have towards one another, and I hope you don't. Nothing will change Ara. Not even you hanging with mudbloods, filthy half-bloods, and blood traitors will come between us. You're my twin, you're stuck with me forever even in the afterlife," Narcissa said whipping away the tears from Aurora's pink cheeks." Thank you, I don't know what I'd do if I lost you," Aurora replied.

End of flashback

Narcissa finished her story, the Weasleys and Tonks had confused faces not hiding the shock from what they just heard, it came as a surprise that Narcissa hadn't cared if Aurora was a blood traitor especially because she speaks so highly on blood purity.

" So you didn't care if Aurora was a blood traitor?!" Andromeda asked in disbelief fighting to keep the hurt she felt from showing, Narcissa and Andromeda no longer had a relationship because of their separate beliefs so it hurt Andromeda to hear that her sister could be so angry at her but not Aurora, as they both seemed to share the same thinking.

" No, why would I care? She was my sister, after all, death would be the only thing to pull us apart not our differences," Narcissa shrugged not understanding why it was such a big deal, Andromeda's eyes began to well with tears as she stood up from her seat.

" I'm your sister, yet you treat me like a stranger! I and Aurora are the same yet you have a blind eye for her? Make it make sense Narcissa, why do you hate me so much? We used to be close yet you let the fact that my husband is a muggle-born tarnish our sisterly bond," Andromeda let out allowing the tears to spill from her eyes onto her cheeks, Bellatrix and Lucius watched the quarrel with amusement knowing it wasn't Andromeda's beliefs which lead to the downfall of their relationship and they both found everything quite funny seeing Andromeda act such away.

" Aurora was a better sister than you'd ever be, don't you dare say the two of you are alike when you are nothing but from that. I don't hate you, Andromeda, so calm down there is no need for this, you're making a fool of yourself," Narcissa spoke unfazed by her sister's reaction, Narcissa would never like to admit it but she could never bring it in herself to hate Andromeda. Though she tried many times, it couldn't change the fact that she loved her sister but it's not enough to forgive Andy for leaving her and Aurora behind, or because Andromeda never really attempted to write or speak to Narcissa until Harry came along.

" I, I have to go," Andromeda stormed off leaving behind an awkward silence. Harry then realised that perhaps it wasn't the best idea to have his aunts in the same room, especially when they hadn't talked in years.

" Cake?" Rodolphus said with a toothy smile trying to ease the tension.

[littlemessyjessi]

Torn: Remus Lupin Story: PS OC:Chapter Four: Ninja

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Remus Lupin Imagine Turned Story

Re-Written and Edit of an old story of mine I had on Mibba that deserved some more love and attention, lol.

Remus Lupin x Vega Black (OC, OFC, PLUS SIZE OC, PLUS SIZE OFC)

———————————————–

"Blame it or praise it, there is no denying the wild horse in us."

- Virginia Woolf

-----------------------------------------

Song that inspired the vibe, lol.  I literally listening to this while writing it. 

“Get Off of My Back”- Bryan Adams

---------------

It had been three weeks since the incident and Vega was once again in the hospital wing. Not for injuries this time but instead helping Madame Pompfrey. During her brief stay, she found many things about the Healer that interested her. When a seventh year Quidditch scrimmage went wrong and poor Jeanette McDonald was carried in almost unconscious...she jumped into action clearing a bed and getting Madame Pompfrey's kit. Vega, it would seem, was a rather natural at this kind of thing. She assessed the situation, analyzed the details and sought out the proper ingredients...all while jumping into action very quickly and keeping a cool head. For a first year, it was rather impressive and Madame Pompfrey had offered her a spot on the Early Healers program. It was rather odd for a first year to do this but she seemed to have natural talent. After her discussing her outstanding work in Potions with Professor Slughorn along with her impressive talents in Charms and Transfiguration according to the other Professors....Madame Pompfrey felt it a true waste to not at least entertain the idea. Vega had jumped at the offer. It was all very exciting to her and though it was stressful...it was extremely rewarding. She felt a sort of passion for it as she worked as assistant to the school's resident Healer. However, at that moment in time...something sour had settled in her stomach because Remus Lupin was laying in the hospital bed looking extremely worse for wear. Madame Pompfrey had initially told her that she would deal with it alone but upon seeing his wounds...she called for the quiet girl. "Pat the wounds." she said quietly, as to not waking the sleeping boy. Vega steadied her hand as she cleaned the blood from her friend's chest. "What goes on here is secret." Madame Pomfrey told her. "What you see and come to know stays here. Do you understand?" The young Black nodded. "They are not our secrets to tell, Miss Black." she said and Vega simply nodded. She didn't know what had happened to Remus but she had an inkling of a thought. She desperately hoped she was wrong but she was far too smart and read far to many books to believe that. She had her suspicions, of course. She was very observant and had noticed little ticks of his that tipped her off. But she just...she didn't want to believe it. But after this. The full moon, the horrible sounds last night and now here he was looking almost ripped to shreds....she'd be stupid if she denied it. Remus Lupin...was a werewolf. She finished him up with Madame Pompfrey before helping the woman with the necessary potions. The Healer told her she was finished for the night and to go and get some supper at the Great Hall. She was tired but a violent rumble from her stomach told her that bed was not an option at the moment. She was almost there when she heard a familiar laugh behind her. "Well, if it isn't the itty bitty baby Black." Vega bit her tongue. Bellatrix.

She really wasn’t in the mood for Bella and her childish antics.

Not today. 

Not after the week she’d had. 

Not after she’d spent so much time with her own hands drench in Remus’ blood. 

Not after she’d spent so much time in her head worried about him.  "I believe Regulus is less cowardly than you are...and he's not even in school yet." she teased. Vega turned to stare at her cousin.

“Go away Bella.” she said. “I’m not in the mood.” 

“Oooh, grown a bit of backbone have you?” Bella sneered. “Good, it’ll be all the more fun to break.”

“Get off my of my back, Bellatrix!” Vega snapped as her anger bubbled.  Bellatrix was flanked by her Lucius Malfoy and Rodolphous Lestrange. "What the matter?" she taunted. "Scared? Maybe we should sing a song for the baby? What was it that the blood traitor used to sing? Oh, yes! Row, row, row  your boat...gently down the stream...scarily, scarily, scarily, scarily, life is but a SCREAM!" Vega’s stomach churned as Bella turned the innocent song her father used to sing to her into something sour and dark. Her cousin cackled manically. "She's scared boys!" she erupted. "Look, she's shaking!" But Vega was not scared. She was angry. She was shaking because she was trying to keep from drawing her wand. Bella smirked, "Get her, boys." Vega braced herself for a moment before something washed over her...and she changed.

She was done. 

So done.  Rodolphus was first and when he came at her she pulled her foot back and landed a hard kick to his chest before using the force to spin around and kick Lucius in the nose....effectively breaking it. Bella snarled at this unexpected rebellion and drew her wand. However, Vega was quicker and bellowed, "Expelliarmus!" Bella's wand flew into her hand and she gasped. Vega arched a dark brow at her cousin and said, "One more move and I snap it in half." Bella almost growled but there was still clear shock on her features at this unbridled attack. "I'll get you for this you little blood traitor! We're cousins!" Bella snapped. "Yes, we are and you've done nothing but torment me since the day you met me. I've had enough. The next time, I won't be as lenient, Bella. The next time...it'll hurt." Vega told her very seriously. "Now get out of my face.”  Lucius and Roldophus skittered up to their feet, the blond leaning on the other for support as his nose bled profusely. "My wand." Bella pressed. "I'll give it to Andromeda. She can decide if you get it back." Vega told her, staring her down with stormy grey eyes. "You little-!" "Or would you prefer I take it to Slughorn...or perhaps Dumbledore?" she challenged and Bella bit her tongue before sneering and heading off after her friends. Vega watched them go and let out a deep breath only to tense up when something grabbed her. Only...she couldn't see what it was. Something had her....that she could tell...and it felt soft. She hesitantly reached out and grabbed it. It crumbled in her hand and she pulled it off to reveal a disheveled, well more so than usual, James Potter. "James!" she gasped. "What the?" "Vega, that was brilliant!" he exclaimed as he hoisted the little girl up and twirled her around in the air. "Sirius, will be so proud!" "Don't tell him!" she rushed out with panic in her eyes. "Tell me what?" She looked past James' horribly messy dark hair to see her cousin looking at her with an odd look on his face. He looked between her and James' rather compromising position with an arched brow that mirrored Vega’s own almost identically.  It seemed to dawn on them and they backed away from each other. "So?" he pressed, curiosity clear in his grey eyes. "What wasn't I supposed to know?" Both were silent. James was dying to tell his friend...but he hated to betray Vega like that if she really, truly didn't want him to know. "James." Sirius pressed, looking his friend in the eye. Well, he tried to. If James hadn't been avoiding eye contact like the plague. Sirius glanced at Vega again before his eyes drifted down to her hand. A grin overtook his features. "Is that Bella's wand?" Vega sighed sensing the inevitable. 

"Yes!" James exploded. "It was amazing, Sirius! She was incredible! Like some kind of ninja! She broke Malfoy's NOSE! And she disarmed Bella and send them on their way, sassed them into oblivion!" Sirius grinned but then his eyes narrowed, "And how do you know this?" James shrugged and held up his Invisibility Cloak. "And you were just doing to watch?" Sirius pressed, irritation growing at the prospect of James standing by and letting Vega get hurt. 

Again.  "Well, I was gonna step in if she needed help but Andromeda did say to let her fight her own battles....and she was great!" he said before looking at Vega. "It was really impressive." Her cheeks flushed red. "I'll see you later." she told them. "I'm starving and if I don't eat something soon, I might attack someone." James dramatically cleared the way, "By all means, Great Ninja of Ravenclaw. Lead us to the bountiful mountains of food. I, Sir James Potter of Gryffindor, shall accompany you into the journey of badassedness in exchange for lessons on your mad skills." Vega and Sirius cracked up at that and the three of them headed off to the Great Hall for something to eat. She headed for Ravenclaw but instead Sirius pulled her over to sit with them. "Sirius." she pressed. "I'm not in your house." "It's fine." he rolled his eyes. "Besides...I want to hear how you smashed stupid Malfoy's nose to smithereens." She scowled at him making him smirk. "You tell me or I'll have James tell it...and the more he repeats things...the wilder they get." he warned her as the very boy in question was currently retelling the story to an older Gryffindor...this time saying that Rowan was a jujitsu master.

-----

Chapter Three 

Chapter Five 

-----

-----

Hello my lovelies!

Woooo child!  We got some friction! How do we feel about Vega fiesty retaliation? I’d love to hear from you! 

Here is another rewrite of a previous work of mine that I had on Mibba! I did a bit of reworking on the character, her name and her backstory because I just felt like she deserved more!  I would love to know what you think of little Vega!

So please comment, reblog with thoughts and/or smash the ask box!  I do so love hearing from you my loves!

Love,

Kenny

————————-

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Love, Kenny

[sincerlypadfoot]

Love you with Your Hair Down (4)

 Word Count-1137

Send Requests Here

“Tonk calm down the girl can’t hear you,” I chuckled taking another scoop of our ice cream we were sharing. “It’s just a movie,” I said looking back at the screen, Tonk requests she pick out a movie for tonight, dumbly picking a scary movie.

“Well i’m sorry but that girl is just dumb, gosh muggles,” She said shaking her head and taking another scoop of her ice cream.

“Hey Bella,” James said behind us, Tonk and I let out a bloody scream almost tossing the icecream off the bed. “Sorry,” he said shinning a light with his wand. “Can we talk?” He asked looking at me then at Tonk who frown.

“I’ll be back, i’ve seen this movie a million times, don’t get to scared without me,” I said to Tonk, taking one more bit of the ice cream and followed James out of the room. “What's up?” I asked standing outside my room.

“I am totally in love with you,” James whispered pressing his lips on mine, I hesitated for a moment then wrapped my arms around him and leaning in kissing him as passionately.

“What are we doing,” I paused pushing James. “Lily, Harry, oh gosh,” I whispered placing my hands on my head.

“Lily left this morning, she said she was going to visit some friends, in her words we’re over,” James said leaning back in, I placed my hands on his chest again. “What?” He asked looking at me.

“Nothing, your room now,” I whispered, James smirked and we took of to his room, forgetting about Tonk and the movie she was watching. “We’re really doing this?” I asked tossing my shirt across the room, James was equally doing the same, we both tossed our shirts and pants around the room and crawled into bed.

“We really are,” James said grabbing me and pulling me on top of him. “I waited so many years to kiss you again, I don’t think i’m ever going to stop,” James whispered pushing his lips against mine, I wrapped my arms around his body as we both sat up, his lips trailed from my lips to my neck. 

“Oh don’t tell me,” Tonk said turning on the light, James and I both looked back, Tonk, Sirius and Remus were all standing at the door. 

“About time, I win Remus,” Sirius said looking over at Remus and smirking. “We bet how long it would take you to get together after you and Lily left each other yesterday,” Sirius chuckled looking at James.

“Get out of here,” I shouted, Tonk shut the door and I looked back at James who smiled and shook his head. “We need to get new friends,” I joked pushing James down on the bed and smirking down at him.

~

“Good morning,” James croaked running his fingers across my back. “How was your sleep,” He asked, I looked up at him and smiled.

“It was beyond perfect James,”I smiled leaning up and pressing my lips against his. “We should get up thought, no doubt Sirius is gonna be outside our door when we open it,” I chuckled making James chuckle.

“You doubt me,” Sirius said in a deep voice, James and I shot our heads to the dark part of the room. “Have a good night huh,” Sirius chuckled rubbing his hand together. 

“Padfoot if you don’t get out of this room I will kill you myself!” James shouted pointing his finger towards Sirius.

“Fine, fine whatever you say Prongs, i’ll just be leaving,” Sirius mumbled getting up from the floor, the door opened and Sirius was shot back, flying into the wall.

“Oh what the hell!” I shouted jumping out of my bed and tossing my clothes on, I ran to Sirius well James ran out of the room, wand in hand. “Are you okay?” I asked helping Sirius up. 

“Bloody girls, I promise I didn’t sleep with this one,” Sirius moaned putting his hand on his head.

“Bella!” A familiar voice said, I put Sirius on the bed, grabbing his wand and walking out of the room, Cheyenne stood in the living room with James pressed against her body, holding him hostage. 

“What are you doing here, are you insane?” I asked pointing my wand at her. “Put James down, he has nothing to do with this, let him go!” I shouted angry. 

“This is the dark lord bussiness, he wants you and only you, from the beginning when he met, this is all i’ve been trying to do, now I’ve found you and i’m not leaving without you,” Bella said tightiny her grip on James, the two men beside her pointed their wands at Sirius and I.

“I’ll come with you, just let my friends go, this is nothing to do with them,” I nervously said dropping the wand on the ground and walking towards Bella with my hands in the air.

“What are you doing?” James muttered, Bella let him go and he came flying towards me. “You are not going with these people, I just got you back,” James cried out.

“Stupify!” Tonk shouted, knocking the two men beside Bella away into the wall. “Take a step and you’ll join your friends,” She spit out walking infront of her. “Let James go and i’ll consider letting you walk,” Tonk said raising her head in the air.

Bella pushed James towards Tonk in a blink of an eye shooting her wand at them knocking the four back, just leaving Sirius and I together. “Got you!” Cheyenne shouted jumping on top of me, knocking the both of us ontop Sirius. We hadn’t falling into the bedroom though, but in a different location. “Bloody hell,” Cheyenne muttered getting off me and grabbing my wand that laid on the ground. “i’ll deal with this later,” She mumbled walking out of the room.

“What the hell is going on Bella?” Sirius hissed wrapping his arms around me and pulling me towards him. “Is the crazy lady from the bar?” He whispered in my ear.

“Yes SIrius it is, I have no bloody idea what is going on,” I huffed leaning my head back on Sirius. “We need to get out of here,” I whispered shaking my head.

“Well I mean if we get to chance then i’m sure I could carry you on my back when we run out,” Sirius whispered tightening his grip on me. “I’m not losing you, when I just got you back,” 

“There will be none of that!” Cheyenne shouted pointing her wand at us, splitting us up, I landed on the wall with pain. “Your coming with me, and you i’ll deal with you later!” She muttered, I felt myself being lifted off the ground.

“Please leave her alone!” Sirius shouted, I fell upside down, my hands falling to my side unwillingly and the last thing I could see was Sirius and the sound of his cries and screams leaving my ears.

[gayestwinthesite]

Black Sisters my Headcanon

Andromeda already had a really god friendship with Frank and Ted before she started hanging out with the maraunders.

Narcissa would spend some time with her house and especially the Malfoy boy but most part of her day has spended following and making sure that Bellatrix wouldn't spend all her time alone.

Bellatrix would be in the library 24/7 and only get out for classes and eat when she was already starving.

When Andromeda were in trouble becouse of the boys Bellatrix would threat the Slytherin perfect to get her out of it but do nothing for the others.

Narcissa would always get her way with anyone just for speaking with them, contrary to her sisters.

Once when Andy and Sirius get a detention Bellatrix, Frank, Ted, Marlene and the other maraunders tried to make them company by exploding things in the great hall.

Actually Bellatrix just get in the middle of it because Marlene called her a coward and then started a food fight.

Narcissa was there with Reg but them just tried to calm the fight down (they get a detention too).

Narcissa scaped it but everyone else was busy cleaning the classroom without magic for a week.

Bellatrix would feel awkward and out of place with the group and Andy would make jokes to distract her.

Marlene and Bellatrix had a similar humor and Lily and Remus would always shoo the youngest away when the jokes started.

Bellatrix was the first to know about Frank crush an Alice and Andy would fake outrage everytime they talked about it.

When Narcissa learned Occlumency she was the only student who could keep her mind from Bella.

Bellatrix first kiss was with Marlene in the dark lake.

It was an accident and after a 2 hour fight they sweared never talk about it.

Andromeda first kiss was with Ted and they keep secret from everyone.

Narcissa first kiss was with Lucius and it was awful for the 2 of them.

Bellatrix would blush and get angry with romantic talks.

Bellatrix was a special ability for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

It was the way she started knowing about Molly and Arthur.

Once they had have a few fire whiskeys and Andy assumed her relationship with Ted.

Bellatrix feel hurt and betrayed but Frank and Sirius get after her and made her laugh.

The same night Bellatrix and Andromeda cried until they feel asleep in the common room in each other's arms and Narcissa had to take care of 2 drunk elder sisters.

That night while drunk Bellatrix talked about her kiss with Marlene with Andy.

Andromeda would look with a smirk at Bellatrix each time she see Marlene and Bellatrix would kick her under the table or throw her mortal glares.

When Reg decided to study abroad Narcissa get in a bad mood for a week.

When her parents died Andromeda only attended to her mom's funeral.

Bellatrix choked in her drink when Sirius said that he was dating Remus.

Bellatrix and Andromeda would round the couple and glare at Sirius when he did something wrong, letting him nervous and doing worst.

Bellatrix best friend was Marlene and they would fake a relationship to get free things in the shops.

Lucius made the most beautiful proposal in the world to Narcissa and she lost all her pose instantly.

Bellatrix is Neville and Harry godmother and Sirius is the godfather.

The 2 of them fight for the best presents and the children love.

Alice and Lily would be mad with them and Frank and James would put wood in the fire.

When Nymphadora born Bellatrix was so nervous that had had a breakdown and Narcissa and Ted had to take care of her.

That day Bella had a blackout and just woke up 3 hours later.

Andromeda and Narcissa use that moment as blackmail till today.

Narcissa forbid her in her house the day Draco born and Andromeda spend the day with her tranquilizing her.

In the Christmas Marlene and Sirius would try to put the children in snow fights or quidditch matches and Bellatrix would pick them up from dangerous situations.

Bellatrix child presents are always the best

But if you are more than 17 she will give you a chocolate or something.

Bellatrix would sit individually with all of the children and listen to all their adventures of Hogwarts for a entire day.

She stoped doing that to the Wesley's after Molly discovered that Bella supported the twins pranks and even gave them money for it.

Andromeda was worried when Nymphadora decided that the quidditch team was a good idea so Andromeda always attended her games for fear, in the end she always was proud of the girl.

Lucius and Ted would take Draco and Dora to see Quidditch games and in those days the three sisters would take te day to gossip and relax.

The first day Bellatrix bought a good adult Christmas present was the book "magical creatures in the society" to her godson's best friend Hermione Granger.

Everyone was shoked that night

Andromeda and Bellatrix would make a interrogation in French with Fleur when she and Dora started dating.

And Narcissa and Ted would pacify her after.

Marlene married Dorcas and moved to France.

Bellatrix feeled bed for a couple of days but their friendship didn't change.

Bellatrix first choice always was the "child" table.

Narcissa always annoyed her until she picked a sit in the adults table.

Andromeda talked about Nymphadora joining the aurors for a week.

Narcissa would always pick wine

Andromeda didn't drink

And Bellatrix would always pick something strong but only drink one glass before change to something lighter.

When Regulus decided to join them they would always play games +18

In those days Narcissa always won, Andromeda would give up and Bellatrix lose or end up drunk.

Bellatrix hate heavy robes but love winters and heavy accessories.

Narcissa was always dressed to kill

Andromeda as a lot more casual

Bellatrix always let the doors open

And both her sisters hate it

Because of that one day Hermione walked on her while she was dressing in the bathroom during Christmas. Awkward moment.

Neville and Narcissa loved botanic.

Andromeda liked charms

And Bella loved Magical creatures cares.

Bellatrix pride was hurt when only Draco entered to Slytherin.

It was a lot of drama actually.

Bellatrix covered the DADA position during the half of the last year of her godsons.

During that time she would always enter the Griffindor common room just to see their reactions or scare some students.

She didn't have a good reputation as a professor.

Most part because she was always giving detentions and all of the students exaggerated their respective one.

Andromeda was the first adult to agreed with the SPEW program

Bellatrix was the one letting shampoo bottles in front of Snape quarters but he always suspected the students.

Narcissa didn't liked Draco friends back at school.

Bellatrix is biromantic demisexual but nobody off their friends believe it.

Narcissa is heterosexual

Andromeda don't really know.

Bellatrix used to sleep with a lot of Slytherin boys back at Hogwarts because she had a little bit of internalized homophobia.

She stopped and started accepting who she was after Sirius beat sense into her head during a fist fight.

Bellatrix never loved nobody and her sisters just fell in love once, for the men they married.

Hermione had bumped into Bellatrix naked more times than failed a class.

Narcissa was the first to see that Hermione and Bellatrix acted uncomfortable around each other.

The first time Bellatrix admitted be in love she throw up in Andromeda carpet

The first time Bellatrix felt shy was when she declared to Hermione her feelings.

Andromeda and Narcissa always stayed in her sister side

Draco and Ginny would smirk to Hermione when Bellatrix was in the same room the same way Andromeda did with Marlene in the past.

[nothingeverlost]

The One You’re Born into and the One You Find (Marauder Era HP fic)

Thing I was not planning to do this week: write 10,000 words about Sirius Black.  He’s an insistent muse, though, so a little drabble about him and Andromeda talking as now a full blown fic about the time Sirius ran away from home.

Summery: Sirius runs away and finds out something about home.

Warnings for references to abuse/torture.

II

It’s two days before Christmas when Sirius Black leaves Grimmauld Place for the last time. His first impulse is to go to the Potter home, but he can’t, not with his mother’s voice in his head, the threats and ugly things she’s said.  He can’t risk that she might follow through with her promises.  It’s not safe.  Besides, James would owl Peter and Remus, and he needs to keep them safe too.

Perhaps it would be best to take a room above the Three Broomsticks, but after a week of cold silence from his family he can’t take any more isolation.  There’s only one place he can think of to go.

“Sirius?”  Warm light floods the front stoop when the door opens.  In the doorway stands his cousin, the only person that might understand what it means to be a disinherited Black.

“You wouldn’t happen to have a sofa I could crash on for a day or two, would you ‘Dromeda?”  They’ve barely talked in years; the last time was the summer before Fifth year when they both happened to be at Diagon Alley.  He’d been with his friends, his parents not wanting to be seen with their son who was buying a new Gryffindor uniform, ‘Dromda with her husband.  He’d been eight when she’d been struck off the family tree, but she would always be his favorite cousin.  His only cousin, now.

“Nonsense.  You’ll take the guest room.  I hope your silencing charms are up to par; our Nymphadora is an early riser.”  She holds the door open wide for him, enough so he can levitate his trunk into the house.  He’s not sure about accepting the room, though.

“Mother is going to be angry if she finds out you took me in.  I really only need a day or two so I can figure things out.”  He needs a lot more than a couple of days but he wasn’t about to ask for more.  It isn’t fair to her.

“Auntie has been angry with me for almost a decade now.  I’m a blood traitor, after all.  It doesn’t get much worse than marrying a muggle-born.  You’ll stay as long as you need.”  Andromeda doesn’t roll her eyes, she wouldn’t stoop to something so immature, but Sirius can almost see it anyway.  “Now shut the door behind you and come into the kitchen.  Ted is cleaning up but there’s plenty of leftovers and I’m sure you’re hungry.  Left before dinner, didn’t you?”

“During, but I didn’t eat anything.”  There had been company, people that made Sirius’s skin crawl.  His father had spoken so casually of his son joining The Cause, only debating if he should wait to finish his education or begin during the coming summer.  Perhaps, Orion Balck had speculated, his position in Gryffindor could end up being a blessing in disguise.  No one would expect a Death Eater under the scarlet and gold robes.

“You’re in luck.  Ted made his beef stew and it’s just the thing for a cold evening like this.”  She doesn’t say, but they both understand, that ‘cold’ refers to more than the weather.  “Ted, my love, we’ve company.”

“Cousin Sirius, what a treat.  Welcome.”  Sirius is surprised by the warm welcome and the following hug.  Perhaps he shouldn’t be; Ted Tonks is a muggle and a Hufflepuff, after all, but the only person he knows who is so open is James.

“Do you mind reheating some of your stew, Ted?  Siri hasn’t had dinner.  I’ll put Dora to bed.”

“Her hair is pink.”  Sirius has almost forgotten that there was a kid.  His family doesn’t acknowledge the marriage let alone the child, and kids aren’t really his thing.  He can’t remember the last time he’s seen a kid younger than eleven.  Andromeda’s daughter is a lot smaller than a first year.  Not as shy as they were either, as she climbs up on a chair to get a better look at the stranger in her house.

“Play?’  Sirius is pretty sure the tips of her hair darkened.  

“Nymphadora, this is your cousin Sirius.  You can play with him tomorrow but now it’s time for bed.”

“See-us.”  The little girl wrinkles up her nose as she tests out the name.  “See-e-us.”

“My friends call me Padfoot sometimes.”  It might be easier to say.  No one in his family considered easy names, it seemed.  Not ever his cousin.  Nymphadora, really?

“Padfoot play?”  She spreads her arms and jumps, leaving Sirius with no choice but to catch her.  She is a little thing, with less force than a bludger, but she squirms a lot.  

“Tomorrow,” Andromeda says firmly, helping to free Sirius from arms that seemed to be longer than they should be.  “I’ll be back down after storytime, Sirius.  Don’t worry about your trunk, I’ll take it up to your room.  Ted will show you where the drinks are.  There might even be a bit of firewhiskey to add to the butterbeer.”

His mother would be horrified to see him eating in the kitchen like a common person or a house elf.  The Tonks kitchen is a warm and comfortable room, though, and Sirius is glad to sit with Ted, who is keeping an eye on the cleaning charms.  They share a drink and Sirius empties a bowl of stew and accepts the second helping Ted gives him  It wasn’t like the food was bad at Grimmauld Place; it was the company that robbed him of his appetite.  He is too used to laughter and teasing and camaraderie as he eats with his mates at school, and out of practice choking down food under his mother’s sour expression and his father’s ranting.

“I’m sorry to spring this on you, Ted.”  He is halfway through his second bowl when he finally looks up at his companion.  He doesn’t know much about the man, other than the fact he was muggle-born, a Hufflepuff, and married to his cousin.

“Nonsense, you’re family.  It’s a rare treat for Andi to get to have family around.  You know what it’s like.”  Ted frowns.

“She’s lucky she got out when she did.”  Just this past summer the engagement between Cisssa and Malfoy had been announced.  The only good thing Sirius could say is that he wasn’t quite as disgusting as Bella’s husband.  The talk of pure blood had gotten worse at family dinners and words like ‘cleanse’ and ‘purify’ were tossed around more.  “They don’t bother you, do they?”

“Ignore us completely, which is probably for the best.  It’s not easy on Andi when we run into any of them in public, though.  We saw Narcissa when we were at Gringotts last and she wouldn’t even look at our Dora.  I don’t think Bellatrix has even seen her.”

“Best to keep it that way.  She’s gone mental.  More mental than she used to be.  And her husband…” Sirius bites his tongue to keep from saying more.  He didn’t need to talk about Rabistan LeStrange.  Didn’t need to think about him, or what he was capable of.  One time alone with the man had been one time too many; he still had bruises on his arm from their ‘conversation’ three days ago.  “If you’re lucky they’ll forget about you completely.”

“Your turn, Ted.  Dora’s tucked in and ready for her story.”  Sirius is almost done with his second bowl of stew when Andromeda comes down, turning off the water in the sink as the last of the dishes dry themselves.  She settles into the seat her husband had occupied moments ago.  “Do you want to talk about what happened?”

“What’s the point?  It’s over and I’m never going back.  I’ve probably been blasted off that damn tapestry already.”  It had been his mother’s last threat as he’d left as if the worst thing that could happen was being disowned by the family that hated not only him but everything he cared about.

“Walking away from family isn’t that easy.  I know.”  For a moment she looks lost in memories before shaking her head.

“Family doesn’t…”  Sirius clenches his hands around the edge of the table.  He doesn’t talk about the things that happened in his home, not even to James.  Andromeda would understand more than anyone else, but that doesn’t make it easier to speak.  “They’re not my family.  I have James and Remus and Peter.”

“You have me and Ted too.”  Andromeda reaches across the table and covers one of his hands with her own.  “It’s two more weeks until term starts.  You’ll stay here and we can take you to the train.”

“I wasn’t planning on staying that long.”  He hasn’t planned anything but thought perhaps he might be able to leave for school sooner.  Hogwarts would be safe.

“You’re staying.  It’s Christmas, Sirius.  And if you’re worried about earning your keep you don’t have to worry.  Dora will adore having a new friend and you can pay us back in imaginary tea parties.”

II

Exhausted, Sirius falls asleep almost the moment he turns off the light in the guest bedroom.  It doesn’t last; a few hours later he comes awake abruptly, gasping his way out of a dream.  He fumbles for his wand, casting a ‘Lumos’ as he sits up.  He needs to be sure he doesn’t fall asleep again, not while the dream slithers inside his mind.  

He barely noticed the bedroom when his cousin had escorted him up, beyond noting that his trunk was under the window.  Everything he owned was in his trunk, and he only had that much because he’d never unpacked it when he’d gotten home for winter hols.  He’d gone up, grabbed it and his broom, and had been heading for the front door before anyone could stop him.  There hadn’t been any time to get Freddie, his owl, from the family owlery.  He hoped his mother didn’t take out any of her anger on poor Freddie.

The room, now that he can focus better, is as different as it was possible to be from the bedroom he’d abandon hours ago.  Instead of grey walls and antique furniture that had been passed down for generations, the walls were painted a pale yellow and the bed was new.  The quilt he’d been sleeping under seemed handmade, a patchwork of mismatched colors that would never earn his mother’s approval.  On the wall across from the bed is a painting of the shore, waves gently lapping at the sand.  It reminds him of a trip he’d taken with the Potters the summer between fourth and fifth years; Remus had joined them as well, though Peter hadn’t been allowed to come.  It wasn’t home - the only home he knew being his dorm at Hogwarts - but it was a cheerful and cozy space.  

He hoped his presence didn’t make it an unsafe place.  While his mother had been the loudest with her threats it was harder to guess what recourse his father might take.  Or his father’s friends.  He would run again if he needed to.  Sirius resolved not to unpack his trunk in case any threats were made. If anyone in his family so much as sent an owl he’d be off.

It’s dark outside his bedroom window, enough that he can’t make out anything in the back garden.  The moon wasn’t much more than a sliver, which was good.  It would be two weeks until Remus would need him.   If he was still with Andromeda and Ted by then he could make an excuse for going back to school early.  Until then he would lie low and hope that his family decided he was no longer worth any of their time.

After an hour of trying to go back to sleep, Sirius transforms and curls up at the foot of the bed.  Sometimes it is easier to sleep for a few hours as Padfoot; he would just have to hope his cousin didn’t ask about the black fur.

II

Someone is trying to suffocate him.  His mouth is covered, his lungs straining for want of oxygen.  He can hear Bella’s laughter and see the cold steel of his mother’s eyes.  Behind her, Regulus looked ill.

“Ge-off,”  Sirius struggles to open his mouth, to take in a breath, and almost chokes on a piece of bacon.  He blinks and opens his eyes to find that he isn’t in Grimmauld Place.  He’s in Andromeda’s guest room, and he is chewing on a piece of bacon.

“Breakfast.”  Nymphadora’s hair is blue this morning and she is holding out a piece of bacon between two chubby fingers.  “Welcome.”

“Thank you?”  He can’t think of anything else to say.  Waking up to find a kid staring at him is odd, but it was a million times better than anything that had happened the day before.

“Dora, where are you?”  The door to the hallway is open; apparently the kid was old enough to open doors because Sirius had closed it the night before.  He can’t sleep when a door is open, it felt too vulnerable.  At home he locked the door, even knowing that wouldn’t really stop anyone.  At school he was grateful for the curtains around the bed.  Here the door was now open and Ted was coming in, shaking his head.  “Sorry about that, mate.  Did she wake you?”

“I’d rather be awake.”  Memories weren’t quite as bad as dreams.

“Breakfast is ready if you’d like to join us,  I promise you can eat at your own pace, and not worry about this little scamp trying to feed you more.  You’re lucky it was just bacon.  She might have decided you were thirsty.”  Ted grins, an easy expression that reminds him a little of James.  His best friend’s smile comes easily too.  Sirius wonders if Ted’s parents were also as wonderful as the Potters.

“I’ll be down in a minute.”  He’s only slept in his pants and waits until Ted had scooped up his daughter and taken her out of the room, closing the door behind him, before getting out of bed so he could dress.

Breakfast was as good as any meal he’d had at Hogwarts.  Ted, apparently, did all the cooking in the family.  His cousin had learned as much cooking as he had, which meant nothing at all.  Pureblood snobs were supposed to have house elves to tend to their needs, rather than actually learning anything practical.  Ted cooked the muggle way, and his scones were good enough that Sirius had three.  He eats some bacon too, as well as quiche.

His plan for the day is to hole up in the guest room.  It was Christmas Eve and he didn’t want to interfere with the holiday for his cousin’s family.  Christmas wasn’t a big deal anyway; he loves the traditions he shares with his friends before the holidays but generally spent the day itself being miserable.  Andromeda has other ideas.

Once breakfast is over and the dishes are put away she pulls out flour, butter, sugar, eggs, and a mass of sprinkles.  Sirius somehow finds himself rolling out dough and cutting out cookies, often with the ‘help’ of Dora.  Once the first batch cooled he is in charge of frosting while Dora added three times as many sprinkles as anyone would call normal.  Somehow there was frosting in his hair and he is certain that his fingers would be red and green for longer than they were the last time he’d ‘accidentally’ snuck dye into James’s shampoo, but it is the most fun he’s had on a Christmas Eve in years.  When he makes one of the frosted snowmen dance across the table Dora laughs and then viciously bites his head off.  It was then that Andromeda decides it is time for Dora’s nap.

While Andromeda is putting her daughter down for a nap Sirius takes the opportunity to escape.  No matter what they say Ted and Andromeda deserved to have at least part of the day to themselves, and he can use a walk.  When staying with his parents long walks were about the only thing that kept him sane.  The walls of his childhood home were oppressive on the best of days.  Dangerous on the worst.  His cousin’s house was nowhere near the old neighborhood where his parents live, but the moment he’s gone a few blocks from the house he realizes how exposed he is.  If anyone sees him it wouldn’t be hard to make the connection to the Tonks family.  On his own he doesn’t have anyone to watch his back and it would be easy enough for a couple of people to drag him home.  Would his father have any interest in forcing him home?  Making him bow and scrape, making him swear an oath of fidelity?

“I’m not going back there,” he swears to himself, walking faster.  He looks at each alley he passes, half expecting to see someone he should fear, half looking for a plan of escape.  All he would need was a moment out of sight; no one would know to look for Padfoot once he transformed.

“Sirius?”  At the sound of his name he turns, wand already raised and a disarming spell on his lips.  

“Thought that was you.”  Frank Longbottom looks curiously at his wand but shrugs.  “Don’t usually see you on this side of town, mate.  Enjoying your holiday?”

“It’s alright.  Just stopped by to see a friend,” he lies.  Fortunately, he has a lot of practice at lying.  Frank is a nice enough sort, a year ahead of him in school.  Rumor was he was all set for the Auror program after graduation.  That didn’t mean that Sirius was about to trust him completely.  He didn’t trust anyone completely except the Mauraders.

“Alice lives around the corner.  We had lunch with the family.  Her dad has to warm to me eventually, or at least that’s the hope.  Not so pleased about the half muggle status, that one.”

“Screw him,” Sirius growls with more force than he meant.  He is so tired of the hate against muggle-borns, half muggles, and his most hated word, ‘half breeds.’  His father was of the opinion that the only good werewolf was either a dead one or a vicious pet, and had talked at length during Tuesday night’s dinner about a need for more regulations to protect against monsters.  His father’s definition of a monster is very different from his own.

“It’s important to Alice.”  Frank was so mild-mannered it was sometimes a surprise that he was a Gryffindor.  Then again Pete was pretty affable too.  He’d seen Frank’s reaction, though, when a Slytherin was scaring a first-year Hufflepuff.  Frank hadn’t been mild-mannered then.  “He’s not a bad bloke, just set in his ways.  Not like, you know.”

“Yeah, I know.”  Not like his family or the loony bin they kept marrying into.  Still, he had no patience for any of it.  It didn’t matter if he’d never met Mr. Fortesque, he already didn’t like the man.

They walk a bit farther, not talking of anything important until they reached a row of muggle shops and Sirius mentions stopping to pick out some gifts.  

“A bit last minute, aren’t you Sirius?” Frank teases.

“Same way I get my essays done,” he says with a shrug.  The truth is he spent as much time plotting his gifts as he did some of his most elaborate pranks, and he’d gotten gifts for his fellow Marauders before school had even started.  Other than sending something to James’s parents they were the only gifts he had to worry about.  Even in better days his parents had not held with gifts for Christmas.  He’d be a prat if he didn’t at least have something under the tree for his cousins this year, though.  Fortunately he still had some muggle money from a trip to muggle London he and James had gone on during the summer.

He returns to Andromeda’s an hour later with a cookbook for Ted by a muggle named Julia Childs that the shopkeep had assured him anyone who liked cooking would enjoy and a stuffed dog for the sprog.  It was black and not unlike his own secret form, which amused him.  His cousin was harder, but when he’d walked past an antique shop he’d found a little painting of an owl.  It looked like the one Andromeda had when she was a girl; Sirius could remember visiting and seeing his cousin petting the bird, whispering to it softly.  Bella had rolled her eyes.  It was a muggle painting so it didn’t move, but Sirius thought Andromeda might at least appreciate the sentiment.

“Sirius Black what do you mean by vanishing for hours without even saying that you’re leaving?”  Andromeda is every inch a Black when she appears in the hall just moments after he enters the house.  Her jaw is firmly set, chin lifted at just the right angle to make it feel like she looked down her nose at him despite being half a head shorter.  For a moment he is reminded of her mother, and then his own.

Shite.

“I thought you could use some time without an intruder around.  Christmas Eve traditions and all that.”  It had started snowing as he’d walked back from the shops.  Sirius tries to distract himself by brushing the snow off one shoulder.  Regulus had given him the same look that Andromeda was giving him now, just a few days ago when he’d said the only right side of any fight was standing against everything the family stood for.

“Great.  Lovely.  So I guess if my sister’s friends had seen you and decided to hex you into the new year it wouldn’t have mattered to me because at least I had a nice afternoon away from my ungrateful little cousin?” She glares at him in a way he hadn’t seen since he’d been seven and had used the essay she’d left in the study to make paper airplanes that had magically flown themselves.

“I wouldn’t tell anyone you let me stay here.”  He’s had enough experience with Cruciatus to know that he would be able to keep at least that secret.

“You think that’s what concerns me?” she asks incredulously before her crossed arms fall to her side and she deflates.  “Merlin, they did a number on us, didn’t they?  Our family.  Toujours pur but jamais fidèle.  I was worried about you, Siri.  You haven’t told me what happened but I know enough the guess.  I’m not totally unaware of what’s happening with my sisters and their social circle.”

“I know how to take care of myself.”  For a moment he hears the shadow of another argument, weeks earlier with Remus.  They had been fighting about the full moon and returning to school early so they could be there for him.  He tells himself it’s not the same thing.

“Of course you do.  Another lesson we learned well.”  Andromeda takes a step forward and brushes the snow off his other shoulder.  “I know family is a pretty complicated word for both of us but you are my family Sirius.  I care what happens to you.”

“Does it ever get easier?”  He wants to ask if he would always hate them this much.  If he would always carry around the hard ball of anger that sometimes threatened to choke him.  Would he always feel the guilt in leaving Reggie behind, not even trying to stop him from becoming the son his father wanted?  Would he ever stop mourning the family he never had?  He has a hundred questions but doubts there are really any answers.

“I remember when I heard you’d been sorted into Griffindor.  Auntie was so angry.  There was talk of sending you to Durmstrang, but they decided against it because of the way it might look.  The first time I saw you that winter you were in Zonko’s with your mate James, and you were laughing.  I don’t know how you’d gotten permission to be there without your parents but you looked so happy.  I knew then that the sorting hat had changed something that couldn’t be changed back.  I think it’s already better.  It doesn’t go away, we can’t change where we came from, but it’s better than what could have been.”

“I remember that trip.  Mum thought the Potter connection could be useful.”  The Potters were purebloods, and rich, but in every other way as different from the Blacks as it was possible to be.  “You brought us ice creams after the joke shop.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t get to do that more often.”  

“Mum would have hated knowing we spent any time together.”  He’d missed his cousin, but there had always been an extra thrill knowing his mother would disapprove.  “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have left without saying anything.”

“You’re wanted here, alright?”  They don’t hug, not in their family, but Sirus has learned it from his mates and Andromeda from her husband.  It is a quick hug, but heartfelt.  Afterwards Sirius drops his packages off under the tree and finds that on the mantle there was now a fourth stocking, one with his name on it.

II

Christmas is a quiet day, or as quiet as it can be when a three-year-old has a newly acquired broom that hovers a foot off the floor.  The stuffed dog he’s picked out, who somehow has been dubbed ‘Spot’ despite being solid black, has a place of honor on the broom and only falls off six times.  The snow from the night before has left a fresh powder on the ground, and the afternoon is spent building a snowman that briefly joins them in an animated game of tag thanks to some clever wand work from Andromeda.

To say it is the best Christmas Day he’s ever had isn’t saying a lot, considering what Christmas is like in his family.  It is more than a good Christmas, it is a good day.  When he watches Dora feed her stuffed dog invisible hot chocolate he can’t help wondering what it would have been to grow up in a family that saw children as something other than an obligation to continue the family line.

“Would you care for a cup of chocolate that’s not invisible?”  Andromeda asks once her daughter’s attention is drawn away from their ‘tea’ party.  Ted is giving her hippogriff rides.

“Yeah.”  He follows her into the kitchen, leaning against the counter while she melts a bar of Honeyduke’s finest into simmering milk.  Moony would approve.

“I remember getting my first broom.”  His hadn’t been a toy.  His parents didn’t believe in toys.

“If memory serves you were six, and the first thing you did was try to stand up on it.”  Andromeda laughs as she stirs the chocolate, adding vanilla and a pinch of salt.

“They locked it up for a month after that, until I could promise to be more respectful.”  He’d only learned to be more careful, waiting until he was out of view before practicing loops and dives and quidditch moves.  It had been his first taste of freedom.

“Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t met Ted.  Would I have ever defied the family or would I just have accepted it as my lot?  But I never wondered about you, Sirius.  Worried, but never doubted that you were meant for something else.”

“You never would have stayed.  You’re too good for them.”

II

The letter comes during breakfast on boxing day.  Sirius is so focused on the red envelope that he doesn’t notice the owl at all.  He’s been expecting at least a letter for three days now, and his only thought is to snatch the letter and get up to his room before it explodes in his mother’s amplified and shrill voice.  No one else needs to hear the hate in her voice.

He is too slow, or the letter is faster than usual.  He’s barely taken it from the owl and stood from his chair when it begins to shake.  It grows in size, shaking and looking like a firework about to explode before it bursts open.

SIRIUS ORION BLACK YOU GREAT GIT WHERE THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU?

It takes Sirius a moment to realize that the shooting that fills the small kitchen is not his mother, but his best friend.

YOU HAVE NOT ANSWERED MY OWLS FOR THREE DAYS.  I EVEN TRIED FLOOING TO YOUR HOUSE BUT THAT CREEPY HOUSE ELF OF YOUR MOTHER’S ONLY SAID THAT HER MISTRESS HAD GOTTEN RID OF YOU.  I’M WORRIED PADFOOT.   MUM AND DAD ARE WORRIED.  RUMUS SENT ME AN OWL BECAUSE HE THOUGHT MAYBE WE SHOULD TRY GOING TO YOUR HOUSE TO SEE YOU.

“No.”  Sirius stares in horror at the envelope as if it can hear him.  Remus can’t go anywhere near Grimmauld Place.  He’s only let James come once and that was bad enough but at least James comes from a wizarding family almost as old as the Blacks.

RUMUS IS STRESSED ABOUT YOU AND YOU KNOW WHAT HE’S LIKE WHEN HE’S STRESSED.  IF WE DON’T HERE FROM YOU IN AN HOUR I AM SENDING HIM AN OWL BACK AND WE ARE GOING TO MAKE A PLAN.

A moment later the howler tears itself to pieces, the confetti burning like ash.  The only thing left was the echo in his ears.

“I can’t let Remus go to Grimmauld Place.”  He looks at Andromeda.  

“Bloody git.”  Dora waves a bit of pancake around on the end of her fork, apparently amused by the howler.  “Great bloody git.”

“Those are not words for little girls, my love.  They’re words for grown-ups who have to deal with problems.”  Ted reaches over and picks Dora up from her seat, balancing her on his knee and distracting her with a floating grape.  Sirius knows he should probably apologize, but all he can think about is Remus showing up at his parents’ door and them somehow seeing in an instant what it took him two years to figure out.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for any of your friends, but at least if they’re looking for you it rules them out as anyone who knows where you are.  It might protect them in the long run.”  Andromeda stirs her tea carefully.  “Remus is the quieter lad, isn’t he?  The one with the nice manners.”

Sirius nods, afraid to open his mouth and say anything about Remus, afraid he might say too much and spill secrets that aren’t his to tell.  It has taken months to recover from the Snape Incident. All he knows is that he has to stop any of his friends, but Remus especially, from confronting his parents.  The things the Black Family would do if they knew they had a werewolf in their home were unspeakable.  “I need to borrow your floo.”

“The floo powder is on the mantle where the stockings were.  You’ll let me know if you’re not home for dinner, won’t you?”  Sirius nods his promise.

“Your friends are welcome to tea. We’re having bangers and mash,” Ted adds supportively as Sirius carries his dishes to the sink.

“Padfoot play?”  Dora asks as he leaves the kitchen.  He hopes she won’t be too upset that he’s ignored her request.

A minute later he is in the Potters’ library, startling Fleamont Potter from his post-breakfast nap.  A newspaper half covers his face but he pushes it away as he sits up.  “Sirius my lad, what a relief.  James will feel so much better when he sees you.  Last I checked he was pacing the front hall.”

“I’ll go find him.”  At least he hadn’t dashed off and done anything stupid; that was Sirius’s job.  He doesn’t have far to go far; after walking through the library door he is tackled and might have fallen if he wasn’t so used to the surprise attacks of James Potter.  This one involved a hug he couldn’t have escaped if he wanted to.  He doesn’t want to.

“If I wasn’t so happy to see you Padfoot I’d punch you and then lock you in a small dark room.  Where have you been?”  James’ hair was messier than usual, standing on end where he tugged on it when he was nervous or frustrated.  The fact that he was wearing shoes was alarming; when he was at home his feet were always bare, so he really was planning on going somewhere.  Sirius hates thinking about where that place might have been.

“I’m alright, Prongs.”  There is no person on the entire earth that he trusts more than James Potter.  His reluctance to mention his cousin was not out of worry.

“Not one peep yesterday from you.  Even first year you popped in to say Merry Christmas and last year you came for almost two hours after you got yourself kicked out of dinner.  I kept my mirror with me all day yesterday and nothing from you.  When I popped into your kitchen the house-elf said…”

“I left.”  He shrugs as if it doesn’t mean anything.

“What do you mean, you left?  Left the house on Christmas?  Can’t imagine that made your mum happy.”

“I left a couple of days ago, actually, and I don’t give a toss what my mother thinks.”  He looks down at his shoes, noticing that there was a scuff mark on the left one.  “I’m not going back there.”

“What did they do?”  His best friend’s voice sounds like fire.  Sirius knows that James would go to war against the whole Black family without a single hesitation if he thought that they had hurt Sirius.  It is the reason he keeps the worst stories to himself, to protect James.  Remus knows more, whispered confidences in the black of night when neither of them can sleep.  After all, Remus has his own monsters and knows something about enemies being bred into your blood.

“I’m not going to be one of them, and hate who they tell me to hate, and fight who they tell me to fight.”  Rudolphus and Bella have matching tattoos on their arm.  At first he’d thought they were a warped couple sort of thing, but then he’d seen the same mark on Narcissa’s finance, and the slithering edge of black ink on his father’s arm when his sleeve hitched up a little.

“Of course you’re not.”  James smiles a little, just for a moment, before the smile fades.  “Hold up, you said days ago.  Where have you been since you left?  Pete would have said if you’d been at his place and I know you haven’t seen Remus.  Please tell me you haven’t done anything naff like sleep on a bench or take a room at Three Broomsticks.”

“I need to lie low for a bit.  I am somewhere safe, I promise.”  His mother’s threats ring in his ear, promising that no one that dared offer him sanctuary would be safe.

“You’re safe here.”  James snakes a hand around his wrist, dragging him towards the back of the house.  “Mum,” he shouts.

“It’s not about my safety.”  When the kitchen proves empty James pulls him to the backdoor, through the snowy yard to the greenhouse that is always warm and humid no matter the weather.  In the center of the space is a pond where lotus float.  Euphemia Potter is kneeling beside her herb bed.

“Mum, Sirius showed up finally and he’s run away from home so he needs a place to stay.  He can have the room next to mine, right?  Dad can figure out how to handle the guardian stuff so you can sign his school papers and..”

“Prongs, stop.  I just came so you didn’t do anything stupid like go to Grimmauld Place.  I’m not staying.”  

“Don’t be stupid, Pads, of course you’re staying.  Right mum?”

“This is always your home, Sirius.”  She stands with a grace that his own mother would never be able to emulate, no matter how many centuries of ‘good breeding’ have gone into molding her.  Deep purple and gold robes flow around her.  Indoors she’s just as apt as her son to have bare feet, but in the garden she wears leather sandals.  “Monty and I have been worried about you, dear.  It’s good to see that you’re safe.”

“I’m sorry for making you worry.”  The last thing he wants to do is worry his friends or the Potters who are always so kind to him.  Without the Potters he wouldn’t know what a real family is supposed to look like, or how lacking his own family really was.

“A mother always worries about her children.”  When she touches his arm Sirius has to fight to remain stoic, torn between the wanting to break down and wanting to make a bitter comment that some mothers want nothing more than to eat their own young.

“See, Pads?  Mum said you’re staying.  Dad will agree and that’s everything sorted.  The family barrister can send papers to your…”

“No.”  If he lets himself listen to any more it will sound too much like a dream and not having it will hurt all the more.  “You’re not listening to me, Jamie.  I will see you in two weeks when we go back for term.  I need you to let Remus know that I’m safe and that he’s not to go to my parents’ house under any circumstances ever.  Let him know that I’ll be at school on Wednesday morning like I promised, okay?”

“Tell him yourself, Pads.  You haven’t forgotten how to write a letter in the last week have you?”  James stands between him and the door to the greenhouse, arms crossed and ready for a fight. “No, but I don’t have a way to send a letter.  I couldn’t bring Freddie with me when I left.”  Damn it, he misses his owl.  It is the least of his problems, and it’sjust a stupid owl that he ignores too often when he is at school, but when he is home visiting the owlery is often the only good part of his day.  No one in his family would deign to sit amoung the birds.

“Shit, I’m sorry.”  James sighs.  “I’ll write Remus, okay?  Or you write to him and use one of our owls.  He’s sent me three letters since yesterday and seeing the scrawl you call penmanship would probably do him good.”

“I’ll write to him before I go, alright?”

“Sure, as long as you mean that you’re going to go get your trunk so you can bring it back here.  I was thinking we could transform the closet between our rooms into a lounge, maybe with a foosball table or something.  Mum’s brill at things like that.”

“Damn it, Prongs, you’re not listening to me.”

“I’m listening, I’m just ignoring you being a dense pratt. This is your home.”

“My mother…”

“Your mother is a miserable bitch and you’re well rid of her.  You can share my mum with me, she always wanted more kids and she and dad both love you.”  James speaks with the confidence of someone who has always been certain of his place.  

“You don’t understand, James.  The things she would do if she found out you’d taken me in.  The things she might set in motion.  My family is full of fucking Death Eaters.  My cousin...”  But he doesn’t want to think about Bella and what she could do.  What she’d hinted that she’d already done, the snake of her tattoo slithering around her wrist.  He knew what she could do to someone she wanted as an ally, the echo of pain still in his bones as she tried to make him agree.  The war was coming so much quicker than he’d realized.  He would protect the people he cared about as long as he could.

“We keep each other safe, just like we’ve always done, Pads.”

“This isn’t trying to get out of detention when a prank goes wrong.  I’m not going to risk any of my family coming after the people I care about.”  He could still see, too clearly, the look in Moony’s eyes when he realized how close he’d come to attacking Snape on a full moon.  If anything had happens Remus would be the one to suffer and it would have been his fault.  He couldn’t let it be his fault again.

“So instead I’m supposed to just stand by and hope you’re okay?  Do you know what it would do to me if anything happened to you?”  James tugs on his hair.

“I’ll see you in two weeks, alright?”

“Padfoot…”

“It’s better if you don’t know where I am.”  He’s been seventeen for almost two months, but won’t take his apparating test until spring like any other student.  That doesn’t stop him from disapparating, but it did mean that he is a block away from Andromeda’s, instead of in her backyard, when he reappeared.  It takes him a moment to get his bearings and to find his way to the house.  By the time he does he’s shaking, and collapses on the back porch, using the last of his energy to change into Padfoot.  

II

“Puppy.”  He wakes to find Dora stroking his fur enthusiastically, Ted and Andromeda watching with varying looks of caution and amusement.  Because it seems like the simplest option he spends an hour fetching sticks and racing through the snow, decimating the snowman they had made the day before and chomping on snowballs.  When a cat crosses the back fence he doesn’t resist the urge to chase it; James has often remarked that if they ever came across McGonagall in her animagi form there would be some serious explaining to do.  Chasing professors was not a good idea even if they were a cat at the time.

When it starts to get dark outside Ted tries to lure him in with the promise of something to eat, but he refuses.  As tempting as it is to see if they would talk about him in his absence, it wasn’t fair and Andromeda would worry if he wasn’t back for tea.  He’d promised, after all.  Sirius slinks around the corner, waiting until he is sure everyone is inside the house before turning back.  His jeans are soaked and his mouth is freezing from the snow he’s eaten, but an hour of running around and a nap have done him some good.  He is able to walk into the house without feeling like the world is completely falling apart.

“Anyone with you?” Ted asks, poking his head out of the kitchen.  Sirius shakes his head.

“Padfoot play?”  Dora asks, her hair the same black color as his own.  She’d changed it when they were playing outside, ironically wanting to match the dog.  

“It’s bathtime, remember?  And I’m sure Sirius is wanting a hot shower, considering the look of him.”  Andromeda gives him the same speculative look she’d given a dog an hour ago until she was convinced that her daughter was safe playing with the mutt.  “Your friend’s alright?”

“I think he’s mad at me.”  James wasn’t mad, not really, but it was easier than saying that he was hurt by the secrets he wouldn’t share.  He and James shared almost everything.  “I’m going to go take that shower now.”

“I’ll let Ted know to start a kettle; you look like you could use some warming up from the inside too.”

II

The next morning he lets himself sleep in, and is still in his pajamas just before noon, making himself a bacon sandwich with leftovers from the breakfast he’d skipped.  He’s just taken his first bite when someone knocks on the front door and Ted calls for him.

“See?  I told you this was the logical place.”  When Ted steps back Sirius can see a grinning James Potter in the doorway, a Gryffindor scarf wrapped around his neck.  Beside him is Remus, not dressed nearly warm enough for the day.  Crowded on the back of the porch is Peter.

“Yes, but ‘Padfoot’ and ‘logical’ aren’t usually things we say together.”  Moony has a crease line between his eyebrows, looking Sirius over.  He tries to smile, but it is a small one, his attempt at a joke falling flat.  Sirius can almost feel the worry vibrating from him.  

“If Sirius is trying to lay low maybe we shouldn’t be standing out here where anyone can see us?”  From the way James steps forward suddenly it was clear that Pete had given him a friendly shove.  Ted is smart enough to take a couple of steps backward, clearing the way for three-fourths of the Marauders to invade his home.

Sirius says the only thing that came to mind.  “What the fuck?”

“I sent an owl to Remus.  He agrees you’re being stupid.”  James aims a drying spell at his feet.

“That’s not what I said, Prong. Don’t put words in my mouth.”  The gloves Remus takes off look new, probably a Christmas gift from his parents.  They were practical souls, and most of Moony’s gifts from them are the sort of things that Sirius takes for granted.  He knows that new quills and gloves are not so easy to come by in the Lupin household, though.  “I said I didn’t like the idea of you without anyone to watch your back.”

“I agreed with James about you being a git.”  Peter grins.  Ted closes the door behind him.

“Gee, thanks Pete.”

“You’re Ted, right?  Nice to meet you.  I’m James and I’m just here to relieve you of this annoying houseguest of yours.  His bedroom is all ready for him.”  James shakes Ted’s hand when it’s offered.

“Sorry about the invasion, Mr. Tonks, only Sirius does seem to need reminding about a promise he made.  We’ll be out of your hair once we knock some sense into him.” Remus looks at him very carefully, and Sirius can almost read his mind.  He can see the bonfire they’d had the first summer they’d been together, could hear the vow they’d made to always have each other’s backs.  Marauders forever.

“Stay as long as you like, boys.  I have some biscuits in the oven that will be ready in a little while, so when you’re ready come down for a snack,” Ted offers as he shakes hands with Remus and then Peter.

“Fresh baked biscuits?  Maybe Padfoot does know what he’s on about, staying here.”  Peter licked his lips.  He’d been the one, second year, to figure out the secret of the ticklish pear that lead into the kitchens.  The house elves loved him.

“I’ll take this lot upstairs so we don’t bother you.”  He gives his friends a pointed look and heads up the stairs, trying not to think about the fact that the bedroom he’d been using suddenly feels so much more like home when all four of them are crowded inside.  Remus is the one to cast a silencing charm, meaning he doesn’t have to keep his voice down when he speaks.  “Damn it, Prongs, what part of our conversation yesterday didn’t you understand?”

“The part where you seemed to suddenly forget the last six years and think you’re a lone wolf like that prat first year who wouldn’t talk to anyone for the first week of school.  No offense meant, Remus.”

“None taken,” Remus shrugs, sitting down on the trunk under the window.  Peter has already sprawled out on the bed.  James was pacing, like he often did when he was plotting a prank or coming up with wild schemes to get Evans to date him.

“It’s not the same.”  He’d been terrified that first week after the hat had sorted him into what he’d considered the wrong house.  His mother had sent him three howlers the first two days, and he knew that Dumbledore had gotten a howler as well.  He’d never asked McGonagall if she’d gotten one; it was too embarrassing to even contemplate.  He hadn’t wanted to get to know the boys he shared a room with, not when he was going to be moved in a matter of days.  Surely someone would realize that he couldn’t be a Griffindor.  Blacks were always in Slytherin.

He’d been scared of his family then, and he was scared of his family now.  Maybe it wasn’t so different, but the threat of his family was worse than it had been six years ago, or maybe he was finally understanding just what the Black name meant.  “It‘s not safe.”

“Neither was spending two years learning to be an animagus so you could spend full moons chasing after a werewolf.”  Remus rubs a scar on his forearm that Sirius swears is fading a little every year.  The fact that he hadn’t gotten a new scar in over a year is a victory that Sirius privately celebrated every morning after a moon.

“That’s different.”

“How?”  Remus stares at him until he has to look away.

“So Wormy, how long do you think we can hang around the Tonks place before they kick us all out?”  James plonks down on the bed.

“Well they’ve already put up with Padfoot for four or five days so their tolerance is pretty high.  Might be able to stretch it a couple of days.  A week at least if we find some chores to help with.  Longer if everyone remembers to shower.”  Peter glances at the door.  “You think those biscuits are ready?”

“We could go check and let the man of the house know we’ll be crashing here for a bit.”  James heads for the door, breaking the silencing charm as he opens it.  Peter is swift to follow.

“Moony.”  Sirius looks at him, hoping that he at least will understand.  Moony, he thinks, understands what’s coming with the war more than the rest of the group.  He knows at least some of what a family like the Blacks can do.

“We’re not leaving you alone, Sirius, no matter the risk.  You’re ours.”  Remus squeezes his hand as they stand in the doorway.  “It’s going to be okay, Pads.  We’ll figure this out the way we always do.  Together.”

Sirius thinks maybe he’d like to stand in the doorway for a while, the warmth of Moony’s hand in his, but everyone else is downstairs and he still has to find a way to convince them all to go home.  

II

“Puppy?”  After she is done with her biscuit Dora slides off her chair and runs to the kitchen door.

“We can look, love.”  Ted follows her, opening the door to reveal an empty back porch.

“No puppy,” Dora sighs, her lower lip sticking out.  “Want puppy.”

“There was a stray dog in the yard yesterday.  Dora quite enjoyed playing with him,” Andromeda explains to the boys at the table.  “It was quite funny, actually.  Sirius got her a stuffed animal for Christmas and the dog that showed up looked almost the same.”

“Black dogs are common enough,” Sirius comments, shooting a look across the table at James.

“Probably just a mutt,” Peter supplies helpfully, wincing when Sirius kicks him under the table.

“He’s probably in the doghouse now,” Remus arches one eyebrow as he looked sideways at Sirius.  “He might not be very good at listening.”

“I hope he has a good home.  He seemed to be such a nice dog.”  Ted lures his daughter back to the table with another biscuit.  She decides that Remus’s lap is where she wants to sit while eating it, and tugs at his sleeve until he picks her up.

“I’m sure he’s found a very nice home.  Most dogs are clever enough to go where they know they’re loved.”  James is smiling, most people might think he is making an idle comment but Sirius knows that look in his eyes.  He was not playing fair.

“Maybe he’s not looking for a home right now, but is wandering for a bit.”  Sirius looks across the table at James pointedly.

“He looked too well fed to be homeless, and despite the lack of collar he certainly wasn’t a matt.  He had good pedigree, you could tell that by looking.”  Andromeda, of course, has no idea of the second conversation that is happening right in front of her.  Her comment is enough to makes James choke on his biscuit, though.

“He had pedigree, Sirius.”

“Sod off, Prongs.”  He was going to give away at least one of their secrets if he wasn’t careful.  Andromeda is clever, and while she’d been out of the family for years she’d been raised on subterfuge and lies.

“Prongs,” Dora repeats.  Sirius is just glad that’s the part she has decided to mimic.

“We call him that because his head is pointed,” Sirius grouces.  “Not much room for a brain up there.

“I got just as many OWLS as you did, you berk,” James fired back.  It had been a matter of great amusement, the year before, that their score on their OWLS had been exactly the same.  Peter had nearly tied them, but was short by one O.  Remus had beat them all, of course, practically acing his exams.  Only his potions score kept him from being perfect.

“I was having an off day.”  He can’t keep from grinning, for a moment forgetting everything else as he slips into the familiar patter of fake insults.  Almost two weeks without his friends has been a lonely experience.

“I swear I can’t take you two anywhere.”  Remus rolls his eyes, breaking off a bit of his biscuit for the little girl on his lap.  She seems enthralled with him, her dark hair lightening into an auburn.  “I’m sorry, Mrs. Tonks, I’d say that they’re not always this bad but my mum taught me not to lie.”

“It’s Andromeda, please, and it’s good to see that Sirius has such support.”

“Whether he wants it or not.”  James leans back in his chair and looks at the back door that leads to the yard.  Sirius doesn’t like the look in his eye; his best mate is plotting something.  “Speaking of, you don’t mind if we borrow a bit of your yard, do you?  My parents have a tent we could borrow, don’t take up much space.  We wouldn’t want to impose, and we can manage all our own food.”

“You’re not staying here.”  For effect Sirius throws half of his biscuit at James’s head.

“Good, then you’ve decided to come home with me.”  James calmly catches the treat and pops it in his mouth.

“James.”

“If you think this is the safest place of you then it’s safe enough for all of us,” Remus points out calmly.  Sirius bites his lip hard enough to draw blood.  He can’t argue the point without making it sound like he’s willing to put his cousin’s family in danger.  He looks over at Andromeda, willing her to say something to derail the current conversation.

“I think a camp out in the backyard sounds like fun.”  Sirius stares at her in shock.  Damn it, that wasn’t what he was expecting.

II

“I’m sure they’re hoping you’ll join them.”  Sirius looks away from the window, pretending he hasn’t been staring at the shadows around the campfire in the backyard.  It’s dark enough that he can’t see much of their faces, but his mates are all sitting outside the tent and drinking bottles of butterbeer.

“They should be at home.”  Remus actually enjoys spending time with his parents, and Peter seems happy enough to go home for the hols.  James has the best parents it’s possible to have.

“They don’t seem to agree with you.”  Andromeda sits on the edge of his trunk, her leg not quite touching his.  “Ted wanted to come with me when I told mum and dad about being engaged.  I wouldn’t let him, couldn’t trust that they wouldn’t lash out at him.”

“So you get it.”  Their family is capable of a great measure of cruelty.

“I understand the fear and the desire to protect.  I also know that the first place I went after I told them was to Ted’s flat and I didn’t leave for three days straight.  I couldn’t bear to have him out of my sight.  The first time I saw my sisters and they walked past me as if I didn’t exist he was the one that was holding my hand.  When the only family member at my wedding was Uncle Alphard Ted promised that he would be my family until the day he died.”

“They’ve been my family since my first year at Hogwarts.”  James was the first person to make him laugh, nine days into first term.  Peter had snuck him food when the idea of going to dinner and facing a whole table of Slytherins whispering about him had been too much to handle.  And Remus, who he’d judged as quiet and odd had hexed his cousin when she’d made a cruel comment in the hall.  Since then they’d proven themselves a thousand times, while his blood family had only been belittling and hateful.  “That’s why I have to protect them.”

“It seems like they have the same idea regarding you.”  Andromeda looks out the window where the fire seems to be dwindling.  The tent flap is open, a light burning inside.  Last summer they’d taken the tent to the Quidditch World Cup.  It had been brilliant.  He and his friends had slept in bunk beds in one room while James’s parents had the second bedroom.  Euphemia had painted mehndi designs on their hands that swirled in gold and green, proud that India had made it to the finals.  Even Fleamont, who was secretly rooting for England, wore mehndi on his hands.  “Something’s coming, Siri, and I know that’s frightening and it’s going to get bad.  But I also know that turning our backs on everything good in our lives is exactly what the Black family would like to see.  Your mother wants you to think you’re alone.  To think that the only option you have is to be one of them.”

“I’ll never be one of them,” he swears fiercely.  

“Of course you won’t.”  Andromeda is full of surprises today; she kisses him on the forehead the same way he’s seen her kiss her daughter at bedtime, then gestures to the door.  “You’re welcome here anytime you want, Sirius, but I think there’s somewhere else you’re supposed to be right now.”

“Yeah.”  He’s not sure if this feeling of worry in his belly will ever leave him, or how long he’ll look over his shoulder for a member of his family.  But maybe he can protect the people that matter better by being with them.

Tomorrow he’ll worry about his trunk.  For now he heads down the stairs and out of the house to find that the fire has been dowsed with snow but the tent flap is still open.  He closes it behind him, following the sound of talking to the same bedroom he’s used before.  

“It’s about time.”  James is on the top of one bunk, the bed beneath him empty but made up with blankets and a pillow.

“We saved you some chocolate.”  Remus has the other bottom bunk; he’s never been fond of heights, not even something as mild as a top bunk.  Flying classes first year had been miserable for him.  He points to the chocolate frog on the pillow next to a bottle of butterbeer.

“My feet are freezing.”  Peter is pointing helplessly at his feet with his wand, but he’s never been very good at warming charms.

“That’s what happens when you have a campout in the snow.”  Sirius finds warming charms easy, probably because he’s used them on Remus often enough.  He’s always cold the morning after a moon.  He helps out his friend, who grins down at him.

“Does this mean you’re done being a stubborn git?” James asks, hanging over the edge of the bed, his hair even more wild then usual thanks to the assist from gravity.

“It means I’ve accepted my doomed future of having to share a bathroom with you for all eternity, knowing you steal my shampoo and shed hair all over the place.”  He catches the chocolate frog before it can hop away, viciously biting off a back leg.  

“Good, because the kidnapping plan had a few snags in it and this is so much easier.  Mum said she’d make a cake to celebrate and anything you want for dinner.  Dad says not to worry about anything, he’s already talked to Dumbledore about the change in address.  This is going to be brill.”  James’ excitement was infectious, and despite his worry Sirius couldn’t help grinning back.  No one had ever been excited to have him come home before.

James falls asleep as quickly as he does everything else, and within minutes there’s a soft snoring coming from above him.  Peter had fallen asleep almost the moment his feet warmed up.  Sirius rarely found sleep easy unless he’d completely physically exhausted himself first.  He’s just about to contemplate turning into Padfoot, which sometimes helps, when there’s a whisper from his left side.

“I’m glad you don’t have to go back there, Pads.  I’ve always dreaded holidays knowing you had a home like that.”  Remus speaks softly but Sirius can hear the concern in his voice.

“It hasn’t been home for a long time. Maybe it never was.”  He’s never been wanted by his parents, not in the way Euphemia and Monty so desperately wanted a son.  He was an asset, like a land holding or the contents of the family vault, only with less value.  “But it’s over now.  I’m never going to see my family again.”

“You see your family every day, Pads.  We’re right here.”

“Yeah, you are.”  It didn’t matter if it was a tent, or a dorm room, or the guest room at the Potters that was secretly being redecorated to welcome him.  It didn’t matter if the blood in their veins wasn’t the same.  He had his family and his home, and hadn’t lost any of it when he’d walked away from Grimmauld Place.  “G’night Moony.”

“Night Padfoot.  Sweet dreams.”

Sirius doesn’t remember his dreams the next day, but he wakes up feeling rested and more relaxed than he’s felt in months.

“Your cousin has invited us all for breakfast before we go home.”  James is already dressed and using a charm to clean his glasses.

“Good, I’m famished.”  He dresses quickly, joining his friends as they dash across the yard, dodging snowballs that they levitate at each other.  The kitchen smells like cinnamon and chocolate, and as they eat breakfast they make plans to come back for Sunday dinner.  His mother can’t forbid him from spending time with his cousin now, and he’d like to get to know Ted better too.

Monty and Euphemia are waiting for them when they get home, welcoming him with hugs and a meal comprised of all his favorite foods.  Remus and Peter stay for the first couple of days, the four of them taking shifts to make sure nothing happens.  Other than a howler from his mother all is silent on the Black front.  He almost doesn’t mind the howler because Freddie’s the one that delivers it and he knows enough to stay.  James is with his mum in the greenhouse and doesn’t hear it.  Monty’s there, though, and it’s the first time Sirius has heard him swear.  

“They’re just words, son,” he says when the howler explodes.  Sirius knows it’s not true, it’s more than that, but the hate is tempered by being called ‘son’ by someone who means it.

“Yeah.”  He takes Freddie to the owlery to get settled and joins James and his mum in the greenhouse where they’re transplanting a bloodspot into a larger pot.  

“Just in time, my dear.  Do you mind holding a few of these leaves out of the way?  They are too tender to use a freezing charm on them.”  James has dug the hole and Euphemia has the roots supported.  Between the three of them they get it settled into the new pot, the dirt anchoring it in place.  Pleased, Euphemia steps back to admire their work.  “Just right.”

“Just where it belongs,” James says, but he’s not looking at the plant.  Sirius rolls his eyes and sticks out his tongue, but he can’t disagree.  He didn't run away from home, he ran towards it.