#this will literally harm teens and some bill even will try to get people to insert stuff that ANYONE CAN ACCESS BEFORE LETTING YOU VIEW | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

clarawatson · 3 years ago

Text

It Only Takes A Taste (2)

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x [Fem]!Reader (GN pronouns, fem coded) Summary: it’s your second time meeting Aaron. He’s still flustered and precious but he (might) manage to give you his number. W/C: 2113 Warnings: none yet! A/N: i haven’t got chapter names yet, just accept they’re all called ‘it only takes a taste’ haha. AO3 tags: @willowrose99 @genevievedarcygranger @maryosprinkle @kleff03 (if you want to get added, lmk!!) Where am I in this series? 01 | 02 | 03 | 04

The next time you meet him, it’s 2am. Rita’s three weeks off her due date. She’s been staying at Joe’s place, with his wife, because the heating’s gone out in her apartment and her super is a foul man. If you were inclined to murder, he’d be first on your list. Right now she’s out the back, trying to wipe chocolate sauce off her uniform. The baby’s been kicking for hours and knocks things around the counter sometimes. At least it isn’t throwing her ribs out this time.

There’s a couple of teens drinking milkshakes in the window, they’ve snuck out after bedtime and they’re giggling to each other about how bad they are. You’ve seen their parents drive by twice (they’re regulars after school) but no one’s come in yet.

The agent drives by, and then does a u-turn and comes back. It was literally a double take, no matter how you look at it. You clearly saw him slow down and try to look in the window as he tried (desperately tried) to stay on the main road. And then he’d turned around and come back.

He’s even prettier dry than he was wet. (Your mind spirals to where that could have gone, which is not something you expected from a 2am shift). He’s loosened his tie and his hair is falling free of the gel. He looks less tired, and yet more tired. A different kind of tired. This one would be fixed by a good night’s sleep.

“Hi,” he says with a little quirk in his lip that could be him fighting off a smile.

“Hi,” you return with a full smile. He sits in front of you and steeples his fingers under his chin.

“I’m Aaron.”

A fortnight you’ve been wondering his name and he just swans in and hands it to you on a silver platter. Bless him and his beautiful brown eyes.

“Y/n,” you introduce. “And what can I get for you tonight, Aaron?”

“Maybe not a coffee.” He doesn’t break eye contact with you. He has such a cheeky smile you almost want to reach over and wipe it off his lips. “A hot chocolate would do. I’ve got to sleep enough to take my kid to school.”

“Have here?” Your hands hover over the in-cups and the out-cups. He taps his finger against his chin.

“In.” He folds his hands and you notice he’s not wearing a wedding ring. Kid, no wedding ring, weird hours. Could be a score, could be a serial killer. Could be both! No. Not both. There will be no fraternising with serial killers. Not if you respect your life.

Would it be weird to ask him where he works? If he works for one of the alphabet soups, will it get you in trouble? Maybe. People don’t like you poking around when sensitive information could be involved. You still ask anyway while the coffee machine has it’s little dummy spit at having to work at two in the morning.

“Quantico,” he says. He probably saw you trying to figure out how to ask. And that’s really all he can say. Maybe. He waggles his eyebrows just a little and you think he’s maybe a little too cheeky for this early in the morning. If Rita was working she’d be swooning all over him.

“That’s very prestigious, but, sir, I don’t think you have the security clearance to be in this diner if you only work at Quantico. We deal with Area 51.”

“Long commute,” he teases.

You raise an eyebrow. “That’s what the uneducated think. I can break a few rules as long as you don’t start asking questions. No asking about where they keep the aliens, okay?”

“Never.” He wraps his hands around the mug as you push it to him, absorbing it’s warmth.

“Did your son like the cookie?” you ask. Is it weird to remember he has a son after one interaction? Or the cookie? But he smiles. It’s okay.

“He’s actually in love with it. He’s not stopped talking about it. I think my sister-in-law might kill me.”

“Joe’s magic in the kitchen. I’ll save a couple of cookies if you know when you’ll be in next?”

Is that too forward? Maybe. He pulls out a little day book and places it before him.

“Is Thursday too soon?”

“No,” you say, shaking your head. You make a note to tell Joe you’re working on Thursday. “Sounds like a good day to collect a cookie.”

“If someone could cut this monster out of me, that would be GREAT!” Rita yells in the kitchen. Her voice is still far too loud out here. Aaron finally drops his gaze from yours, grinning into his hot chocolate.

“Shit, babes, I’m serious. I’ll got for a pocket knife at this point. I’m hot, and it’s not hot, I have to piss every four minutes, I can’t even sit in a car properly and taking the MET is stupid because I still have to pee!” She stops up short, seeing Aaron, and blinks as if she could erase her last comment. “Hi, sorry, you’re rain boy.”

“I prefer Raymond.”

There’s a beat where you try to figure out what the fuck he’s talking about. The cheeky demeanor falls from his face.

“Rain Man! Tom Cruise! Smile." Aaron has no option but to smile at Rita. Too late you realise she's checking the alignment of his teeth to actually equate him to Tom Cruise. "Raymond, for sure. Shit, that’s funny,” Rita laughs, groans, and turns on her heel out the back. She needed to pee again. Aaron smiles just a little.

“Want some pie?” you offer. There’s still a bit left. Joe won’t be in for another hour or so, but there’s some in the oven to take out just before three. Aaron nods.

“Yeah, please.” He puts too much money in the tip jar again. Hands you the exact money for the pie. Had he looked at the menu online? Maybe he had. You take a slice out for him, then a slice for yourself. No harm in that. The whipped cream goes on his like a mountain. You put a bit beside your own pie slice, but Aaron’s grinning.

He looks like he may do something childish. He doesn't, though, as you join him in pie eating. The teenagers start giggling about something they're watching on their phone.

Rita comes back looking more tired than usual. Her whole body looks tired as she gets her purse and rubs her belly.

"Say bye to Rita," she says without much playful effort.

"Bye Rita," you return and kiss her cheek as she lifts it to you.

"And to Baby."

"Bye Baby, be good for Mom."

Rita snorts. Joe gives you a list of things to do while he's taking Rita home. Apparently Lola's coming in to replace Rita, but that's only going to be proven by Lola actually turning up. Aaron raises his hand around his fork and waves. Rita waves back and waddles out the back.

"Is she okay?" you ask Joe, and he nods. He waves goodbye to Aaron, even though he hasn't introduced himself yet. Aaron waves too.

"That's a lot to worry about," Aaron says. You shrug and reach over the counter to Aaron's plate, taking some of his cream. He laughs and puts his arm around it to protect it.

"They're family. Less worrying, more caring."

He nods as if he understands. "Might use that sometime."

"You're welcome to."

He gives you a smile that only uses half his face. Gosh, he's cute. But it’s nothing more than fleeting night time visits, right? Okay, maybe not, he clearly turned his car around because he saw you working. You catch him staring at your left hand, studying it intently. No one wore rings at the diner, just because everything got stuck underneath them and there was nothing worse than having a maple syrup adorned wedding ring.

“There’s no one,” you tell him, which flusters him entirely. He smiles and looks down at his pie, blush creeping over his face. “Weird hours in a place like this? Hardly a brilliant base to build a relationship on.”

“Yeah.” He might want to say more, but he’s smiling at you again. “Weird hours, strange place, know that story.”

“Sucks, hey?”

“Oh yeah.”

The teens from the window go home when they’ve finished their milkshake. You tell them to get home safe and pray their parents don’t come in asking where they went. Aaron scraps his plate, scooping up the cream and pie soupy mess.

“I have to go,” Aaron sighs. He runs his hand through his hair and his fingers get stuck in the left-over-gelly-mess. You smother a giggle as he rolls his eyes and pulls his hand out with tiny little crack-crack-crack’s. It sounds painful.

“I’m going to shower and get this shit out of my hair.”

“It’ll look nice without it in.”

“Yeah?”

“Oh yeah.”

He blushes, returning to the man you’d met coming out of the rain.

“Well I’ll remember that for next time.”

Your heart jumps. Next time! There’ll be a next! Time!

“Listen, hey, um,” Aaron says as he stuffs a couple of bills into the tip jar. “Here--” he stops again, then shakes his head like he’s giving himself a vote of confidence. “This is…” he stops again and licks his lips, then pulls out a business card from his suit pocket. He scratches his number onto the blank back, and then Aaron at the top. “My number,” he managed to finish.

“Thanks,” you respond before wanting to smack your head onto the counter. Thanks?!?! There are a hundred better things to say. “W-when do you want me?” When do you want me??? “To be here, on Thursday, for the cookies.”

Aaron’s gone red. Your face is hot. This is a disaster. There’s no fixing this disaster. There’s no fixing it at all. But Aaron smiles all the same.

“U-uh. I’ll text you?” he looks so flustered.

“You haven’t got my number,” you giggle, because he hasn’t. You’ve got his. He looks like a tomato as he blushes even more. “How about I text you my number, and you tell me when you’re free, and I’ll make sure there’s three cookies set aside for you that no one else buys.”

“Three?”

“You, your son, your sister-in-law.”

“I could really use you at work,” he laughs and… sits back down. Four seconds ago he was in such a rush to leave, and now he’s looking at you like you’re his whole world. He’s so precious, you wish you could just put him in a jar and protect all that goodness from the evils of the world. Surely he couldn’t have met too many of them just yet? He’s still got a smile that could brighten up the night sky, people who’ve seen all the hurt and pain in the world can’t smile like that.

“I don’t think I’m clever enough to get into Quantico. Unless they like people serving them coffees,” you smile gently and he tilts his head while looking at you. A curious puppy. You want to lean over and squish his cheeks for thinking you could be anything more than a server at a roadside diner.

“You’d brighten the place up.”

“You brighten my place up.” Corny, highschool grade flirting. He smiles all the same. Can he smile any more than that? Probably not, he might combust and become a star. “You know you don’t have to keep putting money into the tip jar, right? Not the amount you do. Most people just put in their change.”

He looks at the tip jar. “It’s for Rita’s hospital bills, right? It’s why she won’t look at it, because she’s embarrassed, but also why you and Joe count every bill that goes in it.”

“Alright, Sherlock Holmes.”

“It says on the jar,” he jokes, and points to the permanent marker that’s bled through the otherside of the tip jar. You laugh. Aaron laughs.

“I do have to go.”

“Go,” you laugh. “I’ll text you when I’m off my shift.”

He nods, looking a little sad to go, but also a little excited. He must really love his son.

“I’ll see you on Thursday, Y/n.”

“I’ll see you on Thursday, Aaron,” you return and watch him leave. Shit, he’s even cuter leaving. He even waves from his car before he drives off. You’re close to squealing when the bikie gang pull up, flooding the carpark, then all come in ready for their coffee. At least Aaron’s hot chocolate warmed up the machine for them.

#It Only Takes a Taste #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotchner x reader #diner!au

107 notes · View notes

innermort · 3 years ago

Text

*** disclaimer: this is a very long diary type of entry that is probably quite boring for everyone else and may be ignored. it's merely a very lenghty epiphany I just had about my life and myself and I had to type it out for me, to lock in the thoughts, if you will. it was pretty therapeutic tho. 🙃 ***

10/Sept/2021

I just had the realization that I'm in the process of redefining every aspect of my self and my life.

I quit smoking cigarettes from one day to another exactly 2 months ago tomorrow and went from a heavy to a casual party smoker.

I rarely ever smoke weed anymore (plus when I did since quitting tabacco, I rolled with herbs) and now made the conscious decision to take another long break, so it doesn't interfere with my weight loss again. I get the worst munchies and have no self control when I'm stoned. I'm talking "5000+ cals in one sitting" type of binges. I'm not tolerating this kind of self sabotage anymore.

I re-discovered edblr. Yes. I know. Not the healthiest habit to get back into but it's the only thing that has actually helped me gain the motivation and willpower to put a stop to my raging sugar addiction and instead, an actual effort into losing weight again. Besides, I'm doing it in a much more careful and "responsible" way now (high restricting, taking supplements, no strict/exact calorie limit, very light to no exercise (okay, to be fair the reason for that is mainly my injured knee but still), letting myself eat/drink more than planned if I feel my body needs it). And let's not forget that I've literally been binging every day for the past 2 or 3 months. My diet nearly exclusively consisted of chocolate, pastries and pizza. Literally. I've gained 10 kgs (22lbs) during that time. That lifestyle was just as unhealthy, if not unhealthier.

I finally got to hang up and use my calender. Due to my ADHD (self diagnosed for now), I'm very forgetful and unorganized - at least in my private life. That's why I made the decision to get a big calender which I can use as a semi To Do/Buy list and appointment/meeting/bill reminder. Since I'm glueing a sticker to each day I got through without binging, I'm looking at it pretty much every day anyways. Plus, it's a motivater to not binge (reward that inner child)! Overall, it's helping me become more organized and put together which are two areas I've been lacking in in the past years. So far, I've been mostly using my phone notes but I usually write something down and immediately forget about it if it's not a grocery list or a To Do list I'm actively working through on that same day.

I have my first appointment at a psych ward since I was a teen. It's just a phone call and first get to know conversation but it's better than nothing and more than overdue. I'm finally taking the first steps towards getting diagnosed and being eligible for therapy. I'm sick of feeling like a victim of my own brain, I just want to be better. I deserve to be better.

I'm hungry for knowledge again. I deleted Tiktok from my phone because of how big of a distraction it was and because I realized that even though I'm being bombarded with new information everyday, I'm not learning anything. Our brains can't even comprehend the amount of information given in that short time span. Nothing sticks. Sure, you find out about some pretty cool stuff on TT depending on what kinda fyp you have but for me personally, it was just hours and hours of mindless scrolling in the end. It's crazy how addictive it is, too. Even despite the fact that I was already at a point where it didn't even give me that quick dopamine quick anymore. It felt boring and repetitive and I was merely doing it out of habit.

So, I got rid off the app. I started watching documentaries again. Mostly about gut health and mental illnesses like ADHD, Autism, BPD, Narcissm etc. Like TED talks or interviews/discussions by and with professionals/experts/diagnosed people. I'm back to not just craving but actually consuming something with substance, something that gives me more knowledge and insight on a topic. Something I actually want to know more about.

I realized and accepted that even though I am a creative mind, a fully creative job might just not be for me. I'm learning that maybe I'm the type of person who does something entirely different in their free time than what they do at work. And that that's very much okay. I noticed that at my job (this was the case for every job I ever had), my mind seems to work differently. When people expect me to do something, I have the needed pressure and motivation to get it done. I could also observe in myself that at work, I enjoy organizing/sorting stuff, I'm a fast and independent learner while I'm also excellent at training new employees, I'm much more detail oriented than in my private life - overall, it came to my attention that I might not actually be the ever chaotic forgetful mess who can't form a logic thought - or I can at least recognize that this is merely a part of me and not what defines and limits me as a person. I realized I actually like straightforward work, I like working alone and I like working precisely. When I was younger I would have never used any of these traits to describe my dream career. I would gag at the idea of working an office job and now I feel like this would actually suit me very well. Especially the working alone part would mean feeling less drained at the end of a work day and still having the energy to hang out with people I actually want to see. This is an extremely valuable lesson about myself that I finally seem to have learned.

After this big sub- and now concious evaluation about myself I'm also finally taking actual steps towards a possible career. I bought a course and worked through the first 2 lectures today, taking notes and writing everything down neatly for 3 - 3 1/2 hours (in total with breaks in between). I even got a notebook specifically for this new life project. I'm excited to learn. I feel scared, too. This is something I've never done before but I'm telling myself that trying won't hurt. I have my main job as a safety net, financially nothing can happen to me. I can only learn, even if I fail. And time will pass anyways, whether I get my ass up and put in the work or continue to be unhappy with what I'm doing without trying to change anything.

Speaking of finances, I also started taking those more seriously now. I stopped using my credit card (I was in negative numbers constantly, big numbers like -300 to -800€ due to constant overspending). I set up standing orders for my monthly fixed costs to make sure bills are always paid on time. Due to my forgetfulness and ADHD freeze I would often forget to pay or postpone paying bills until the reminder came in the mail and led to me having to pay on top or generating debt. I still have a little bit of debt to pay off but it's thankfully not a dramatic amount. I also have a second bank account for savings now where I transfer 200€ to every month. Even the simple act of calculating my fixed costs to see how much I can use for what was something that was desperately overdue. What I still have to do is sort out my receipts and write everything down in a housekeeping/budget book. And my first ever tax return. I am very much dreading both of these. 😃

Anyways. Wow. I really needed to type this out. I have the very harmful tendency to look at all the negative stuff and only focus on what I don't have and don't do. I really needed to take a long, deep look at all the things I've been changing around in the past couple months. A lot of it really passed me by until now. It's crazy but I really feel like a complete failure when my body isn't looking its best and it makes me blind for everything else. So, thank you to myself for reminding me that I am actually making a lot of progress, even if it has been in areas other than my fitness and looks. They're just as important (from a healthy brains point significantly more important, obviously) and deserve to be noticed and celebrated.

Conclusion: ❤️✨YAY, ME✨❤️

8 notes · View notes

werevulvi · 4 years ago

Note

Hi, could you tell me more about your autism and diagnosis and how you deal with it, how old you were diagnosed

I don't know a lot about my autism, tbh, as I never bothered to read up on it and I was never properly informed on it. But what I do know is that I learned slowly as a kid, learned to walk at age 3, was very clumsy (like medically abnormally clumsy physically, could barely run at all and couldn't climb, etc) required special treatment to learn how to eat as a toddler because I hated the sensory experience of solid food and chewing, I was incapable of understanding sarcasm, interpreted everything literally, I was stimming a lot, had monotone body language and speech, etc. I was very obviously "different" according to my parents already from around age 1 or 2, and required literally constant attention for the first 4 years of my life. Started daycare at age 4, in small groups.

Then as I started school at age 6, apparently the school nurse had told my parents that I'm probably autistic, so I consider that my "inofficial diagnosis" but they decided to ignore that and didn't tell me (until 10 years later.) I was bullied in school for being "the weird kid" by both classmates and teachers who thought I was a retard and annoying, basically, I guess. I was called a freak and weirdo a lot. But like I was proudly a weirdo, and resented normativity.

As I got up into ages 10-12 my depression and DID symptoms (alter) kinda took over and became more prominent than my autism symptoms, as I wasn't as physically clumsy anymore and started learning social cues. My mental health continued to decline over the next few years, until I sought out therapy on my own at age 16. It led me to doing my first few suicide attempts, which led me to ending up at a closed psychiatric ward.

While staying there for a few weeks, I got evaluated for autism (without knowing that's what I was tested for) as well as a few physical things, such as my hearing impairment and chronic headache. And those tests led to an official Asperger Syndrome diagnosis, when I was 16, by the very end of year 2005. I also got diagnosed with borderline psychosis and mild depression, and got pumped full of anti-depressants and anti-psychotic (neuroleptic) drugs. Then my mom finally told me that she basically always knew about my autism, and I was really pissed at her for not having told me before. I resented my autism diagnosis right from the start, and the older I got, the more I resented it. Never identified with it, only ever saw it as a huge burden.

Then throughout the rest of my teens, I went to a school for neurodivergent people (basically upper high school) but still flunked it. I was a complete and utter mess, and got little to no actual therapy. They just kept shoving me around from one psychiatric department to another, due to my comorbid issues, no one could help me, it seemed. Every once in a while I'd make another half assed suicide attempt to make them take me seriously, which only worked for a few months at a time. In total, I've made 19 suicide attemps over 12 years. Oh lord, psychiatry was so bad!

Adulthood came along and I got benefitted with sickness compensation, and got my first apartment at age 20. It didn't go great. I accidentally flooded it and had to move out, and didn't manage to keep it clean or anything while I lived there. I was barely functional and alcoholic, constantly self-harming, just to try to manage attending school. Despite getting help from caretakers offered by the state (?) weekly, I was really dysfunctional. I switched apartments several times, and kept flunking school while trying to live my miserable life, always hanging by a thread. Until I moved back to my parents at age 23. They had moved to a miserable island far away from all my friends. Got an apartment on that island close to my parents, but my issues continued being the same level of awful, up until about age 27.

What this has to do with my autism is that... uh, I basically understand it as that it impedes on my executive function really dramatically, and like although I can physically do pretty much anything, mentally I just somehow can't. Especially repeatedly, and often enough. Like I can't keep any routine for the life of me, not even simple shit like sleep cycle, eating habits, brushing my teeth, etc. Let alone school or a job, or even hobbies. Everything is infrequent and too seldom, if at all. So everything in my life keeps falling apart as I basically have no foundation to stand on, and I get sensory overload suuuuper easily. So like just going shopping/cleaning/laundry/hobbies/school/anything for half an hour can drain me significantly and make me incapable of managing doing anything else for the rest of that entire day. It's very hard for me to explain, but it's like I only ever have 3 spoons per day, but most things requitre 10+ spoons, so I go backwards on my energy resources a lot and end up having to rest for DAYS after just one hour's activity.

At age 27 I ditched the social service caretakers, as they were seriously depriving me of my privacy while being largely unhelpful, and I began to finally try to pull myself together. I still get a lot of help from my mom, with anything from paying my bills and grocery shopping, to driving me places and dealing with soul-sucking authorities for me. This takes off a lot of the burden and allows me to manage doing at least a few things on my own, like working out, cleaning (yay I manage keeping my apartment clean nowadays!), laundry, occasional shopping, art projects, online socialising, etc. I still go to therapy biweekly but it's still largely unhelpful. At least I managed to make them stop tossing me around between departments like a football though, and I'm still gonna try to get some proper trauma therapy, and maybe also look into that adhd group I was promised last year, if it'll ever resume again post-corona...

I've still never had a job in my life and still have incomplete grades. But I got permanent sickness compensation now, so that's neat. At least I don't have to worry financially. I'm also trying to get started with some "work training" stuff which is basically "pretend work" for people who can't work, just to have something to do. I'll most likely be granted acces to that. However, it seems irony is that most of those are located out in the middle of nowhere where no buses go, and I can't afford a fucking car or driver's licence because I can't work. Mom probably won't drive me several times a week for that. Fucking fantastic. Makes me almost wanna kill someone... argh! Those little things really piss me off.

Life is absolutely not going the way I want and I blame my autism for it, mostly. I am drowning in frustration, and my anger issues making me scream my lungs out in pure despair, shows that. I'm considered offically disabled due to my autism, and it just fucking sucks ass. How lonely, under-stimulated yet easily over-stimulated, bored, meaningless and unfulfilled my life is. There are far more severely autistic people out there who somehow manage to live far more functional lives, and I'm jealous of that. I dunno how to break free from this misery. It feels like the only thing I've ever managed to accomplish in life is transitioning genders, and making art that I don't wanna sell. I wanna have a "normal" job, a car and driver's licence, I wanna have cats and a social life, I want parties at night clubs again, I want hobbies outside of my home; hookups, friends and lovers; I want to be able to have a functional romantic life with someone I can marry and start a family with.

But is any of that ever gonna happen? I hope so, but it feels bleak. Because my autism feels like such a huge burden on my life, and a huge hindrence to my dreams and goals... like I'm over 30 already and still a disabled and having my mom living half my life for me, miserable mess and not given any useful therapy, I'm left to my own vices to figure out how to adult... Because of all that, I hate my autism and I wish there was a cure, I swear to fuck. So for your question, how I deal with it: not fantastically. Not sure if you wanted a relay of my entire life, but I hope that’s okay! Didn’t know how else to answer your questions.

3 notes · View notes

jamiebluewind · 5 years ago

Text

Fantasy High Theory: Fabian has an eating disorder

TW: eating disorder symptoms, anorexia symptoms, abuse mention, death mention, violence mention, gun mention, alcohol mention, drug mention, trauma mention, smoking mention,...

Word Count: about 2100

I know this is a big assumption to make with what we have, but I couldn't ignore all the data and the warning signs. In fact, I think that even if Fabian does not have an eating disorder at this time, he's certainly at risk for one and needs the issues addressed before it gets worse.

Before I get into it, let me remind everyone that I am about to talk about a very heavy subject. Remember, stay safe and consider the warnings before you continue. You can always message me for a summary of the red flags or for an edited version if you need it. I would rather you be safe than to have you're like on my theory.

Okay? Okay. Let's start by defining a few things.

Eating Disorder: Any of a range of psychological disorders in which people experience severe disturbances in their eating behaviors and related thoughts/emotions. People with eating disorders typically become pre-occupied with food and/or their body weight/shape.

ARFID: Avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder is an eating disorder characterized by eating very little food and/or avoiding eating certain foods. It does not include having a distorted body image (as occurs in anorexia nervosa) or being preoccupied with body image (as occurs in bulimia nervosa). People with avoidant/restrictive food intake may not eat because they lose interest in eating or because they think eating has harmful consequences. They may avoid certain foods because of their color, consistency, or odor. When it becomes more severe, it can cause substantial weight loss, slower-than-expected growth in children, difficulty participating in normal social activities, and sometimes life-threatening nutritional deficiencies.

Anorexia nervosa: Diagnosed when patient BMI (body mass index which is a rule of thumb measuring body size vs mass) is low for their age and height. Severity is classified as mild (BMI of greater than 17), moderate (BMI of 16–16.99), severe (BMI of 15–15.99), or extreme (BMI of less than 15). Hallmarks of anorexia include limited food intake, excessive monitoring of the calorie and fat content of food, fear of being “fat”, problems with body image, denial of low body weight, excessive exercise, food rituals, cold intolerance, mood swings, sleeping issues, chronic fatigue, distorted body image, and many more. Eventually, the body goes into starvation which cause a lot of bad symptoms.

Atypical anorexia nervosa: All of the criteria for anorexia nervosa are met, except the individual's weight is within or above the normal range.

Again, ANY BMI can still mean a person has an eating disorder. It is NOT confined to those that are underweight. The BMI is only there as a red flag and to help classify severity of anorexia. I want to make this very clear, not just for my theory, but for the people reading this who recognize parts of it in themselves or others. I'm about to give an example that gets... personal in order to show that people who don't fit the stereotype of being underweight can still have an eating disorder. How personal? My own.

I am overweight to obese (depending on the doctor and the range). I don't exercise much. I eat pretty well around friends. But I have an eating disorder. I just... don't get hungry most of the time, so I forget to eat a lot more often than is healthy. A LOT more. I've been to the hospital a few times due to dehydration. I've collapsed because I literally forgot to eat for two or three days. I could have died at one point because despite being overweight, I was eating so little that things just... stopped working. Again, I was overweight. People and doctors thought I was just lazy. I was told to eat less and exercise more. Even my blood tests came back fine until one day, they didn't. And even then, nobody listened. Somebody doesn't have to look how you expect them to in order to have a problem. Also, don't be afraid to reach out for help if you feel like some of this hits close to home or someone you know is showing symptoms. It's okay to need help.

So remember, eating disorders can affect anybody with any body. The important thing is to be kind, supportive, and encourage professional help such as cognitive therapy.

****

Now to list Fabian's risk factors (I only listed the ones I believe he has)

Dysfunction family: This is a big risk factor for Fabian. His father is chaotic evil and (despite loving his son) puts massive pressure on him and tries to make him conform to his ideal for most of Fabian's life. Fabian has seen his father abuse his crew and snap at the drop of a hat. His mother has been a heavy alcoholic and mostly absent his entire first 16 years and when she gets off alcohol, she puts an extreme amount of pressure on him herself.

Abuse: This is another big one. His parents have been verbally abusive, emotionally abusive, neglectful in a variety of ways, controlling, manipulative, isolating, and his mother rested his food intake. He could have also been physically abused in the guise of sparing.

Genetics: Fabian's mother is very slim. Using images of weights and comparing it to her shape, she in fact fits the underweight shape which may or may not imply a genetic component depending on if the normal body shapes are different for high elves or not.

Exposure to warped body ideals and weight stigma: Exposure to "body ideals" in places like the media (especially if at a young age) can increase body dysfunction and eating disorder risk. Weight stigma can make this worse due to discrimination and stereotyping based on a person’s weight. Fabian has actually been exposed to this a lot due to his father and the crew. He's a kid around very strong muscular people and he feels pushed to get stronger to live up to his dad. It's also very easy to imagine that crew members who were not strong or active enough got a very bad reaction from his father, which would reinforce the ideal. Some of this is conjecture, but it's not so far outside the realm of possibility to be impossible.

Participation in sports: He's on the Bloodrush team and is a fencer.

Pressure to have a certain body shape from family: I think this risk factor is there too, especially when his mother takes over training.

Bullying/Teasing: Fabian was actually bullied by peers when he first starts school, but I believe his parents were bullying him long before that.

Trauma and PTSD: Oh boy, is this solid. He was most likely traumitized by his parents before high school. He saw two new friends die the first day of school and nearly died himself, only saved by Riz. He watched two teachers die by gunshot right in front of him (and a staff member killed by bludgeoning). Fabian mentions having nightmares about Riz killing Daybreak which might have been due to it being via gunshot. He was forced to kill people due to the situation he found himself in. The person who was supposed to have been helping them the entire time (Biz) turned out to be an evil dude who trapped one friend in a palimpsest and wanted to capture another. He was stuck in jail for weeks! His family was attacked, his home was damaged, and his dad died (and by his hand no less). He and his friends almost died to a dragon. That's a LOT of trauma for a kid to try to process and Jawbone mentioned that he never came to visit him, so he probably dealt with a lot of it on his own.

Low self-esteem: This is unfortunately something else he has. Despite all the bravado, he doesn't know how to be a friend or have people like him for who he is (instead of who his parents are or how much money he has). He tries to put up a cool front, but he judges himself very harshly.

Perfectionism. One of the strongest risk factors for an eating disorder is perfectionism, especially self-oriented perfectionism, which involves setting unrealistically high expectations for oneself. If they fail to meet their high expectations, the person becomes very self-critical. Fabian has this type of perfectionism.

History of an anxiety disorder: This one is reaching, but possible. People often show signs of an anxiety disorder (generalized anxiety, social phobia, OCD,...) before the onset of an eating disorder and Fabian stays on edge a lot, worries excessively, puts up a front, and deals with nightmares.

Substance abuse: Fabian has had alcohol and drugs before the age of 16, his parents almost encouraging it. He smokes regularly. Addiction runs in his family as well with his mother being an alcoholic and his father doing multiple drugs. Neither parent even hides the fact that they take drugs and drink alcohol to excess, the crew probably took drugs and got drunk in front of a young Fabian, and Bill offered drugs to his friends upon meeting them.

History of using weight-controling methods and dieting: Fabian exercises a great deal. He skips meals. He has a limited number of things he will eat. There is a lot of evidence to back this up.

Limited social networks: This was a HUGE issue before high school. Fabian was very isolated. He had no friends, limited social activities, and lacked proper social support. Recently, he's been skipping class exclusively which on top of smoking a lot, puts distance between him and other people.

Long story short? Our boy is at risk. Big time.

****

List of common signs of eating disorders (including anorexia)

Limited food intake: Seen when he has mostly protein smoothies, his mother tries to give him limited rations, and when he refuses to eat with his friends more and more as the series goes on. The first incident of it was in Cool Kids, Cold Case where Fabian refused the food he was offered on two separate occasions, passing it to Riz both times. Once was after the battle with Daybreak and being stuck at the police station a good while. The other was when the teens were hanging out at Riz's appartment when Sklonda got takeout. Fabian's mom also makes him earn food as seen in the live show. This mentality could have very well been internalized, even with Cathilda there to try and give him more.

Excessive monitoring of the calorie and fat content of food: He worries about empty calories, how fattening something is, and removed the cheese from a slice of pizza and dabbed the oil

Fear of being “fat” or in a shape that is not the ideal: In episode 1 of season 2, he is very preoccupied with staying trim and tight.

Excessive exercise: He exercises who knows how long every morning plus for Bloodrush plus the times outside of that

Food rituals: This is interacting with food a certain way (like small bites or how it's prepared) which causes anxiety when not followed. The pizza event might be one, but it's hard to say without a pattern.

Sleeping issues: Fabian has issues with sleeping, dreaming, and nightmares. His father confirmed this and he himself mentioned his nightmares.

Weight loss: By comparing his previous official artwork with his new official artwork, it's easy to see that Fabian looks visibly thinner. He's also VERY cut. (very defined muscles requiring very little fat) for his age. He was muscular last year sure, but his chest and abs are much more defined this year. Being that cut means that despite how muscular Fabian is, he has been eating less and probably doing fat burning exercises, getting a lot of his nutrition from multivitamins and whey, and would have less energy than normal.

Negative energy balance/chronic fatigue: This is only a possibility, but it deserves being mentioned. If this is going on, it puts a spin on some of Fabian's other actions in season 2, episode 1. He showed up late on move in day and didn't really move anything (just carried a book), which might have been a character thing, but could have also been because Fabian is running on empty and capable of things like adrenaline fueled busts of energy, but otherwise dealing with low energy and fatigue.

Also, Fabian is smoking now which works as an appetite suppressant as is common among those with eating disorders.

(Signs with no evidence as of this post: problems with body image, denial of low body weight, cold intolerance, mood swings)

~*~*~*~*~*~

TLDR: Fabian is showing a lot of symptoms of an eating disorder and also over a dozen risk factors. The number of both is substantial enough to see a pattern. Enough that I sincerely hope that it's acknowledged during the season because if Fabian does not have an eating disorder, he is at substantial risk of developing one.

PS: I know it's data heavy, I might have missed a few things, and it could be totally wrong, but I seen enough there that I thought it might make for a solid theory. D20 is no stranger to heavy subjects and I think if they do cover it, they will do a good job (as always). If they don't, I still learned a lot making this theory and maybe a few of you will as well. ^_^

#fantasy high #fabian seacaster #d20 theory #dimension 20 #d20 #theory #tw eating disorder #tw anorexia #tw anxiety mention #tw abuse mention #tw violence mention #tw trauma mention #fantasy high spoilers #tinfoil time

25 notes · View notes

an-emo-on-emo-site · 4 years ago

Text

time for a dumb critique of stranger things written by a dumb emo 13 year old

aight so since im a massive film/tv nerd lets talk about stranger things

YOUNG BOY STRANGER THINGS

so basically the first season is nearly perfect imo. the cinematography is phenomenal and every. single. shot. serves the mood of the scene really well. the show has excellent writing that makes teens feel like actual people which a lot of other teen shows fail at, and it can be really funny without actually sacrificing the mood of the show as a whole or detracting from the severity of the situation. it can also be genuinely scary (the first watch through) without relying too much on gore to induce a cheaper “shock scare”. It maintains tension expertly throughout the whole show until the resolution and the ending cliffhanger is a perfect end. There really isnt much more i can say, the entire season is just chef’s kiss

DEMOGORGON 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

while season 2 is still decent and succeeds in some of the aforementioned manners (cinematography and humour), there are quite a few g l a r i n g flaws in the show which kinda take it down quite a few pegs for me. Season one was almost a mystery show disguised as horror, and therefore was a lot more engaging because you wanted to solve the mystery just as much as the characters did. While you were still invested in the show and liked the characters, most of the enjoyment (for me at least) came from trying to figure out what happened to will. While Season 2 does have some of this carry over with the Mind Flayer infection, the mystery never really progresses, they just figure something out in the last hour of the show. Season 2 relies a lot more on the characters to carry the show and keep the audience engaged. While this does work a lot of the time, especially with the dynamics between Dustin and Steve (we stan), a lot of the enjoyment from the show was taken away (for me) when the mystery aspect was toned down. Additionally, there wasn't really any particularly scary threat for the majority of the season. In Season 1 we are aware of the existence of the Demogorgon throughout the show and we are consistently shown that it is a severe threat to the protagonists, but in Season 2 we only really have a threat at the very end (last two episodes), and even those are literally just tiny demogorgons. While they obviously can still be harmful, they’re much tamer considering how hyped up big boy demogorgon was in the first season.

While the characters are a big reason why stranger things is such a well loved show, Season 2 kinda screwed a lot of them up. Joyce is still the distressed mother (while she has reason to be, she literally doesn't change at a l l after the first season), Mike is kinda just an edgier version of who he was last season, Will doesn't have any character at all (the mind flayer does take him over but thats a slow process in the beginning, he should be more prominent but he isn't and we therefore never get to connect with him like we did with the other characters in the first season), and Eleven...

well Eleven is a child. she has every reason to be disappointed or angry that she cant see mike but she behaves like a toddler. she - throws tantrums - breaks windows when she doesn't get what she wants

and yells “i hate you!” at her parental guardian who is just trying to keep her safe from murderous government officials. While her motivations are there and are valid, her behavior is extremely immature, and she definitely devolves after the first season.

whoo that was long. i still like the season but the characters don't really evolve or develop at all after the first season which kinda sucks considering the first season was so good and characters did develop during it, but for some reason they just abruptly stopped. Fortunately, the writing is still decent and the cinematography is still great so its still an enjoyable watch.

SEASON 3: COMMUNISM IS THE REAL ENEMY

okay.

this is probably the worst season of the show (worst for stranger things is still pretty good though), but i still enjoyed watching it more than i enjoyed watching any other part of the show because i was laughing the entire time.

The writing in this season is either amazing or terrible. There are some parts to this show where they’re trying to write a joke but it fails so hard i start laughing. The best example I can think of this is the scene where Billy is trying to convince Mrs. Wheeler to get private lessons from him. He launches into a monologue of how he could “teach her” and starts listing strokes like the sensual man he is

“freestyle..

breaststroke” *proceeds to eye mrs. wheeler from head to toe*

and the joke made me cringe so hard i fell out of my chair laughing. This is just the example i thought of off the top of my head, but so many scenes have similar writing that makes me cringe hard.

BUT

the actor’s performances in this season are phenomenal. Every actor sells their lines so hard that I enjoy every. single. second of the show even when the writing is dumb. the only times when the writing is actually bothersome is in the serious scenes (like the infamous “new coke” scene which made me shake my head so fast my glasses flew off my head). Apart from those few instances, however, almost every second of the show is enjoyable. This season also fixes the problem with the second season and actually ups the ante this time with the mind flayer which is absolutely, positively, terrifying. The damn thing is literally made out of the melted corpses of the people it infected. This brings another problem into the show, however, which is

too

much

gore.

I should probably start out by saying that in general i don't really like over the top gore in media. A few months ago i tried to watch Kill Bill and got freaked out by the first scene. Regardless of my wimpiness, however, I think that the show begins to rely too much on gore to be scary. Some scenes have people feeling around in a cut open leg, some scenes have people literally melting into chunks of blood and flesh, some have scenes of a guy getting his head shoved into a fan and having his face ripped open. The show tries to put all this off as “horror” but in reality its just something that grosses me out a bit but then i move on. Some scenes have actual scary moments, (especially with the mind flayer in billy’s form), but a lot of the horror in the third season relies on either gore or jumpscares which are still really enjoyable to watch but aren't really scary as they’re intended to be.

I still loved watching season three, but i feel like it shouldn't be gone into as a horror show as the first two could have been. The first few episodes are like a corny teen dramedy with some scary elements, and the last few are literally just slasher 80s camp the whole way through and i'm living for it

anyway this was long winded and dumb. stranger things is a great show watch it just don't expect anything to top the first season

hell yeah abuse tumblr algorithm with hashtags

#stranger things #horror #film #tv #netflix #emo #80s style

1 note · View note

solutionspotlight · 5 years ago

Photo

The Love She Waged from a Prison Cell

How environmental justice activist, Siwatu-Salama Ra, dug deep while incarcerated, and the community that lifted her up.

When Siwatu-Salama Ra arrived at the Huron Valley Correctional Facility last year to serve a two-year mandatory sentence, she was in shock, six months pregnant, and not sure how she would live through the ordeal. She spent her first days in an isolation cell staring at the wall. And yet, somehow, through the harrowing nine months that she was there, she advocated for Muslim incarcerated women, organized around birthing and parenting rights for herself and others in the pregnant and postpartum unit of the prison, and convened a poetry group where women inside wrote and shared their deepest selves.

Now, after being released on bond since November 2018 with a GPS tether on her ankle for almost a year, Siwatu’s conviction was reversed on August 20, 2019, and the tether finally removed in late October. Her legal team is urging prosecutors to dismiss the case and not recharge her. Her next hearing is scheduled for November 15, 2019, and the tentative trial date is February 18th, 2020.

The environmental activist has spent much of her life as a community organizer. As a teen, she worked with other youth to tackle environmental concerns affecting their local communities and later became the co-director of the East Michigan Environmental Action Council, where her voice and ability to resonate with people was crucial. She was following the footsteps of her mother, Rhonda Anderson, who has been an environmental justice organizer for the Sierra Club for almost two decades. In her interviews, she expresses how being convicted of felonious assault and felony firearm was not like anything she’d ever experienced in her life or could have been prepared for.

Michigan’s Stand Your Ground

The details of Siwatu’s case were reported by many including dream hampton in Essence, the New Yorker, and Democracy Now! as it became clear that pieces of the case weren’t adding up.

In July 2016, Siwatu was visiting her mother at her Detroit home with her two-year-old daughter when a young girl came by to visit Siwatu’s niece, who also lived in the home. The family became concerned about the presence of the girl as the niece was recently jumped by her at school. They decided it was best she leave. The girl’s mother, Chanell Harvey, arrived to pick her up, infuriated that her child wasn’t welcome.

Siwatu testified that she’d asked Harvey repeatedly to leave the premises. Harvey then drove her car and rammed into Siwatu's parked vehicle, where Siwatu’s two-year-old daughter was playing inside. Then she tried to hit Siwatu's mother—she’d forcefully brought the car within a hair of her. At that point, after taking her daughter inside, Siwatu reached into her car's glove compartment and brandished her licensed, unloaded gun to demand Harvey leave.

Harvey took snapshots of Siwatu, took the pictures to the police, and filed a report that Siwatu had assaulted her and her daughter by pointing a gun at them. Siwatu dropped off her daughter and picked up her husband from work, and arrived hours later to report the incident as an attack on her family by Harvey. One day, after over a month with no response from police, Siwatu’s home was surrounded by police who arrested her because Harvey’s report, in which Siwatu had been named the aggressor, had been on file first.

Of the many controversial details of Siwatu’s case, the most impactful one is the fact that Michigan is a self-defense "stand your ground" state, which gives a legally licensed, law-abiding gun owner the right to use deadly force if they believe it is necessary to prevent death or great harm to themselves or another person.

Siwatu was a licensed gun owner with a concealed carry permit and her gun was unloaded. And Michigan law has consistently interpreted aiming an unloaded gun as non-deadly use of force, according to Wade Fink, one of Siwatu’s attorneys appealing the case. He also states that her case should have hinged on whether Siwatu used reasonable force to meet the threat posed by Harvey, rather than whether or not she feared for her life.

Another issue, Fink points out, is that at the time of the event Harvey was on probation for assault; it was her third felony, and violating probation would have gotten her into trouble. Fink contends this could've been a valid motive for lying. But the defense wasn’t allowed to pursue this line of questioning.

A YES! article that details the rise in Black gun ownership despite the racist origin of the second amendment, explores the perspective of Black gun groups who view the right to self-arm as basic for self-defense in a climate of constant violence. Yet, we also see where laws like Stand Your Ground don’t always work out positively for people of color, as we saw with Trayvon Martin and Marissa Alexander.

As reported by Vox, the Urban Institute found that Stand Your Ground laws seem to worsen racial disparities. When the shooter is Black and the victim is white, only 3 percent of deaths are ruled as justifiable versus the 34 percent when the shooter is white and the victim is Black. “Even when black shooters kill black people,” the article states, “those shootings are less likely to be deemed justifiable in a court of law than those involving white shooters who kill white people.”

The dominant, false narrative that Black people are intrinsically violent obscures genuine issues of equity. It’s why we can have a criminal justice system that operates on implicit biases, even when all persons concerned are Black.

Siwatu’s jury had to ultimately decide, based on Michigan self-defense law, whether Siwatu was truly afraid in that moment to warrant invoking self-defense. Despite the question as to why a woman whose daughter and mother are being endangered by a vehicle would not be afraid and feel a basic human need to protect, the jury ruled guilty because they didn’t believe Siwatu could be afraid, only angry. And the felony firearm charge, which means that a firearm was used in an assault, came with a two-year mandatory minimum.

The power of a community

As she details in conversation with adrienne maree brown on The Practice of Freedom: A Conversation with Siwatu-Salama Ra and Rhonda Anderson on the How to Survive the End of the World podcast, when Siwatu learned that she was having charges brought against her for, essentially, acting within what she believed were her rights to defend her family, she couldn’t wrap her mind around how to continue. But then community showed up.

Siwatu was showered with love. Fellow activists, co-workers, and friends poured in. They showed up at her house asking what they could do to help. There were so many people coming to meetings that were organized on her behalf that they moved gatherings to the larger home of a friend.

At one point in The Practice of Freedom, Siwatu's mom remarks that what was truly notable was how many of the people that came to support were women with children.

They formed the Siwatu Freedom Team and have not only accompanied Siwatu on her journey for full freedom and justice, but also collaborated with a broad coalition on several campaigns including: developing a set of bills to fight for the rights of incarcerated pregnant and postpartum mothers, parents, and caregivers in Michigan; working to end the felony firearm mandatory sentences that disproportionately criminalize Black people in Michigan; and continuing to support and work in solidarity with women Siwatu met inside prison as they return home.

Finding a way through madness

From the moment that charges were brought against Siwatu—through her court case and eventual sentencing, right up to her release and the reversal of her conviction, and now as her legal team works to put this case to rest completely —countless people have poured enormous dedication towards supporting her, spreading the word about her case, raising legal funds, writing letters, and organizing meetings. In prison, however, she was alone, facing close walls and prison bars. The letters that poured in from community across the country were like beacons of light in the darkness.

In the isolation of her experience, she stumbled across a book called Deep and Simple, by Bo Lozoff, who had co-founded the Prison-Ashram Project and worked for 20 years guiding people behind bars to reach their own inner peace. “He was able to steer men and women who were inside of a prison to that oneness,” Siwatu says in The Practice of Freedom. “My community, Bo, my mom, literally saved my life in prison.”

“I remember reading this book and being just so blown away...it was answering the questions I had, the why me, the what do you want, what am I supposed to do?” Then one day she noticed a copy of Deep and Simple on her pregnancy counselor’s office desk; the counselor offered her all the Bo Lozoff books she had in her office.

Siwatu reflects that in prison, a person is stripped of everything and anything that could offer them comfort. Reading Bo Lozoff helped her reach a place of peace inside herself despite the deep sadness all around her. “If anybody walks out of a prison...who is enlightened,” she says, “it is the work of themselves, and it is despite of the prison. Bo helped me take advantage of that hell.”

She also witnessed the spirit of fellow inmates around her. They inspired her. She said in a recent interview with Earth First! “You normally see women on the frontlines fighting, and you saw the very same thing inside the prison: women fighting to hold on to some of their dignity and humanity to say, ‘This is not how we will live.’��

She says there were women working on so many issues—from trying to get treatment for the yellow water coming out of prison pipes to making sure the food on their plates was sanitary.

When Siwatu learned that her challenge getting a hijab, a Quran, and the meals she required for the daily practice of her faith was not her challenge she faced alone, she led other Muslim women prisoners in organizing for religious rights that legally should have been accommodated by the facility. Her efforts attracted attention from the Council on American-Islamic Relations in Michigan, which filed civil rights complaints on a number of the prison’s practices regarding religious freedom.

Disheartened by the ways in which life behind bars was designed to cut down a person’s humanity, Siwatu also created a poetry group and fostered close bonds with the women around her as they co-created a space of beauty, where poetry offered gateways to emotional freedom.

Finally, her harrowing experiences of pregnancy and birth in prison led her to inform herself of her rights as a parent and mother, which she then shared with other prisoners. At the time of Siwatu’s delivery, the Michigan Department of Corrections did not allow loved ones to be present at labor or delivery although Siwatu’s family, community, and other activists and organizations made every effort to get the MDOC to humanely shift its position.

In early October 2019, as a direct result of this organizing, the Michigan’s House Appropriations Subcommittee on Corrections added new language to the budget bill that states that anyone in prison due to give birth in prison can consent to one visitor being present during labor and delivery. The language states that person must be an “immediate family member, legal guardian, spouse, or domestic partner.” It’s a signal that change is happening.

A more humane and discerning system of justice

For every person that is able to have a protest, or national news attention, or a community of devoted people call out that a wrong be brought to light, there are hundreds more sitting in a jail cell without any of these options.

Siwatu, speaking to Earth First!, said that knowing she was innocent only made it easier for her to see how many more women were likely in prison unjustly.

“...You have a large population of women who will be returning citizens who have literally been face to face with the very beast we’re fighting,” she said. “They are walking out of that prison cell, out of custody, with much knowledge, so resilient, and so beautiful. I encourage that everybody support women and men coming out of these prisons because they have seen so much. They know what it will take to win this.”

When asked how being incarcerated changed her perspective on environmental issues, she explained how it strengthened her belief in looking at how different issues are connected.

“It took me to literally be taken away from my family and taken away from my children and placed in a prison cell to understand we have to step away from... self-identified work and dedicate our entire selves to a better world.”

“You have to look at everything,” she said, “and take everything into consideration of how all these injustices are interconnected and feeding off one another.”

And then what could justice look like? Life-valuing structures that value healing more than they value practices that dehumanize, and where deeper understandings of history and social problems are incorporated, so that there are sustainable options for actual accountability, wellness, and growth in communities.

Showing up to speak, listen, learn, share, and organize wherever and whenever possible is essential for this shift to take place. We can learn from and build upon cases and experiences like Siwatu’s.

ACTIONS:

Support Siwatu’s legal fees as her hearing approaches on November 15, 2019, help sustain her family throughout this arduous process, or support continued organizing Siwatu’s freedom and policy changes, by donating here.

Go to FreeSiwatu.org to learn more, stay posted, and find more ways to get involved.

Host a house party or community gathering to share Siwatu's story, have discussions, process the impact of this and similar stories, and brainstorm organizing ideas.

Get involved with local groups in your area fighting for prison abolition, environmental justice, and supporting people directly impacted by the prison and criminalization industrial complex who are working for liberation.

#prisonindustrialcomplex #prisonabolition

11 notes · View notes

deafchild2000 · 6 years ago

Text

I Never Really Liked Rikki

Alright before y'all go on and say I'm "shitposting" or degrading your favorite mermaid, just let me let it out!

Rikki Chadwick is one of the 5 mermaids (yes, counting Bella and Charlotte) on H2O: Just Add Water. When she she became a mermaid, she got heating powers, essentially leading to actual fire and lightning powers in Season 2.

On the Wikia, she's described as: Rikki is quite rebellious, independent, sarcastic and carefree, making the two argue often.Rikki frequently speaks her mind without euphemism or without care that her opinions might hurt other people's feelings. She has a hard time sympathizing with people who are in pain, as seen in "Dangerous Waters." She can be very stubborn and has a short temper. Rikki has a strong adventurous streak and is the first to fully embrace the possibilities of the girls' new powers. Despite their arguments, Rikki and Emma do get along a lot of the times, and Rikki genuinely cares for her friends. This is demonstrated when she takes Emma and Cleo out on a shopping spree with her new money in "Dangerous Waters." To make up for her previous blunder in the same episode, she also does her best to buy Cleo the perfect new fish (as thanks, Cleo dubs the fish "Hot Stuff," in honor of Rikki). Rikki also shows her care for Emma when Rikki prods Byron to apologize to her friend in "Sink or Swim," revealing that Emma is not as tough and thick-skinned as she lets on.

Not only does Rikki shows her rebellious nature freely, but she encourage it in her friends as well. In "Pressure Cooker", Rikki encouraged Cleo and Emma to rebel against Charlotte Watsford and her mother, Annette Watsford who were invited by Don Sertori to stay over for dinner. Thinking that Don is getting remarried and that Charlotte will become Cleo's step sister, Rikki encouraged the others to use their powers to ruin the food, not knowing that Annette was only invited as a business partner. Despite her carefree nature, Rikki is capable of displaying a sense of responsibility especially when it comes to money. In the episode "Hook, Line and Sinker", Rikki attempted to look for some financial security for her family by attending Harrison Bennett's seminar, only to find it to be a scam. In "In Over Our Heads", Rikki attempted to help her father by trying to find a lost treasure for the reward money because her family was struggling with the bills. During her stay as café manager in season three, she was able to show her ability in running a business successful. When Rikki left after breaking up with Zane, the café started to struggle despite Sophie replacing her as manager, showing her organizational and monetary abilities.

But the things is, I never connected to her. Actually, I could never relate to any of the trio, but Rikki at most (ironically it's Charlotte and Bella that has my favor.).

See, by technically, I should like her because I'm sarcastic, independent, rebellious, stubborn, easily vengeful, unapologetically blunt at times and savvy business-wise (side hustle - jobs- for money). Plus I've been borderline homeless and raised by a single parent.

But for myself and others, I had needed to be more than that. Where I'm sarcastic, I am concerned and loyal when it needs to be regardless of circumstances. Where I'm independent, even I have to admit defeat and ask for help because I accept I don't know everything. When I'm stubborn, while admitting for fighting in what I believe in, I do my best to set it aside when need be or else Karma would be on my ass. For my rebelliousness, I have to know when I draw the line and go too far. Same goes for being vengeful, but I at least have someone (mom and uncle) on my corner to steer me away and even get a good laugh out of it while I can still reverse it. I'm legit working on being blunt since past experiences taught me sugarcoating isny always the best option, but I do have basic understanding why people do it. Sometimes the bandaid does need gently peeling to get the job done - especially if it's for the sake of a child.

So in comparison, between me and Rikki, felt that aside from a few glimpses of her realizing her mistakes and vulnerability, in those 3 years of being a mermaid, she never really took on the lessons she learned and developed Empathy. Empathy is all about understanding someone and their feelings, especially if their in a place you've been before. And considering that Rikki had a bunch of friends to pull her from the dark side of her personality, no one really bothered to do that when her personality took a turn for the worse in Season 2. Season 3 was when she nearly reached the point of No Return if Will hadn't intervene to stop her from borderline killing Ryan in the moon pool.

Then, I've talked to friends about this and perhaps it originally stemmed from the mermaid aspect of her life. Yes, H2O is just a tv show, and it aired years before I entered my own teenhood, but people are drawn to it because they can relate to the girls in the show. So, when it came to being a mermaid, I believed that it was because all teenagers struggled with being different and that what usually (or generally) sets them apart from their peers.

Now, I live in the US, and I'm an African-American female who's smart (book and street-wise) and has an internal, physical disability: I'm deaf in my right ear. Add in a potential fact that I might have Aspergers (a form of Autism), I never really stood a chance growing up. I knew how to be apart of a group (most of the time), but I was essentially a wall flower in it. There was/are time when I had to dive into things trending for pre/teens just so I had to understand what the big fuss was about. (Plus watching people deal with unnecessary teen drama has always been a turnoff for me.)

Thus leading me to believe Rikki never really had to fight for anything. Yeah, she was pure but not poor enough to live in a single house of multiple strangers (which was my life in 5th grade). She didn't have to struggle to fit in, whether or not that was the case, since she basically had her own little niche of mermaid sisters and (a) boyfriend. In my case, that's more than anyone could ever get in high school- minus the mermaid aspect. But if you add that in, Rikki literally had a whole separate life all to herself where she could get away and in my case, I never had that. Reading and writing was the only escape I had from reality and there were times even that wasn't enough.

So, during that time, if I was one, being a mermaid, like Rikki, would be embeaced but with the rightful amount of shock of the situation would also be there as well.

And maybe I would be prone to abuse my powers, who wouldn't? Having a supernatural ability, using it as I see fit to work for me or against others? I actually thing having something no one else has tend to make anyone else selfish, whether they are all alone or in a small group of those like them. It's Human Nature to be like that. Besides, look when the trio had done so on multiple occasions, yet were hypocrites in regard to Charlotte when she did so to Nate. (Which I will happily point out all the times Rikki did just that, like when she found out she was a part of a fish scheme and all the other times she blantatly almost killed someone with her powers.)

However, I also knew that "With Great Power, Comes Great Repsonibility" is true, regardless of fictional or realistic obligations. If I did want to just pranks someone, I would do it so obviously- with potentially witnesses- and then make it a recurring gag.

(To be honest, if I did and did it so often to a sibling like Kim Sertori, well, let's just say I'd accept responsibility If I got found out because I had it coming for doing said pranks in the first place.)

If I had wanted to use my powers like a weapon to harm someone, I knew I better have a damn good reason to do so, especially if said powers were as dangerous as Rikki's. And then question if that said person was a threat or just someone I really didn't like. And add in the fact if it was on purpose or a genuine accident (like, for example, how I'd like to believe Emma was traumatized after realizing ahe had frozen Miriam alive. Sure the girls saved her in time, but still, that should have been a hint to the girls to not only expand the knowledge of their powers, but become increasingly aware of how dangerous they are. So if they hadn't saved Miriam or Rikki ended up killing her....)

Basically summarizing above, Rikki was shown on more than one regard just how careless and irresponsible she is with her powers and then had the nerve to be self-righteous and hypocritical when someone else does it, and it's someone she doesn't like.

However, while I admit to giving her cudos on some of her ocean adventure - definitely as she's a career diver as an adult- I don't think she really took into account just how much of an advantage she had as a mermaid. While she wasn't a full-on superhero, she probably spent more time in the ocean more than anyone else since getting her tail. Meaning you'd finished being more awareness to the issues on the ocean such as trash and oil spills, taking in for granted having a rich boyfriend could technically help achieve resources to do so. Yeah, they shouldn't be drawing attention to themselves, like at all, but if the ocean is your second home, you can't tell me you'd wouldn't try to help keep that home alive and healthy.

So maybe the producers didn't show it or it just never occurred to them (or in Rikki's case, until her job profession), but if I had mermaid powers and a tail, Lord knows I would have been kept busy for all my teen years cleaning the beaches and pulling up trash after trash to at least somebody caught onto it and started taking action themselves. Not starting a trend, but a chain reaction. And it wouldn't be a seasonal thing either. Basically, if you had the ability to be a live like a fish, you use your human life to bring awareness to sustain that life. We caught maybe a few glimpses btwn H2O and Mako Mermaids, but that would have been a great way for Rikki to express just how much she clearly cared about being a mermaid. But thus she didn't, so I have no reason to believe she did or had a basic understanding of what oppertunities she had offered to her as a mermaid.

I would see it before anyone told me.

And sensing that I'm going off topic, I'll just steer myself back to the point: All other reasons aside, here are my main reasons I never liked her:

Rikki never really grew to have Empathy, or understand when someone is in a place where she once was. She stayed mentally the same as she grew up and it wasn't until she was an adult and found herself back where she started, that she finally developed it.

She actually had more than any other teenage girl can want and more. A roof over her head to call her own, friends and a chance for a significant other? Plus an amazing double life you had to see to believe? For someone like me, who has to fight through obstacles everyday between my race and disability, everything about that spells something worth taking for granted.

She never really took responsibility for her powers or learned from the trouble she caused. Maybe at the time, things seemed necessary, but overall, she was extremely careless and selfish in regards for it. And then some, in regards for using her powers in public and nearly exposed herself, especially when nearly seriously hurting someone, but then had the nerve to berate someone who did just that when she'd done the exact same or worse (adding in potentially murdering someone in the midst of her anger). Season 2 was the so best example of how bad that got and frankly, turned me against her completely to be honest. And Season 3 was basically like Season 1, only Cleo was in Emma's place plus a crazed obsession with protection the moon pool. (Which proven right considered how many damn people found it in the show's history, but still!)

While debatable, she never shown and consideration to the environment ( the Ocean) until it fit her needs. I can name a hundred of ways she could have shown concern and and helped environmental impacts and sea animals affected by it, and do it anonymously, especially considering her future job as a diver.

Like all stories, the 2000s H2O trio is supposed to be 3-dimensial characters who change throughout the story - or in this case, a show - where Emma was a responsible girl who learned to enjoy life, Cleo was a kind girl who learned to grow a backbone and Rikki was a loner who got friends.

As a child, it's easy to see it that way. And considering how Rikki is viewed as someone you'd want to grow up into -Strong, opinionated, stand firm in what's right - who wouldn't idolize that. Anyone, even young girls, should be like that because, in the real world, values like that are rarer than your led to believe.

But when you take into to account of whether or not Rikki is the type of role model you should look up to, then that's why I labeled and the things she's done under:

Static Character.

Rikki started and ended H2O as a mermaid with a rebellious streak. But though she's made mistakes and apologized, she never changed who she was and truly learned from her mistakes, leading me to believe she just kept getting things without any real consequences, thus no character developement.

As I'm ending this, I will acknowledge that I know this sounds like a rant degrading Rikki - and someone will chew me out defending her for it- but after watching all the seasons and how taken Rikki into consideration I came to see if she was real, we'd never get along. So while I'm not going "I hate her so much!" or "She's so ugly!", I'm simply stating why that I don't believe Rikki deserves all the fanfare she's got over the years.

#h2o just add water #mermaids #rikki chadwick #rant #why I don't like this character

19 notes · View notes

groundramon · 6 years ago

Text

Actually you know what, hot take because I was talking about MOGAI discourse earlier: discourse around media (such as “anti” behavior) can be just as harmful to kids as MOGAI labels. Not in the same way of course, the only similarity they have is that they both come from a place of good intent.

To preface this before you read my first paragraph and go off on me: I am an anti. I am a minor. I have been an anti for years. I’m talking from my experiences as well as things I’ve observed on this website. Also, if you call yourself an anti-anti or think anti discourse is stupid or whatever, stop reading this right now because you’re not welcome here. This is not arguing that anti mentality is bad - no, anti mentality should be the norm. I’m just exploring the possibility that it can be toxic to kids to engage heavily in this topic. It is not toxic for kids to be antis, especially if they don’t engage in discourse, and it is NOT the kid’s fault for being dragged into it. It’s 100% the fault of all the weird adults and older teens who normalize this kind of shit. I’m simply recording how older antis (which, I could consider myself one despite being a minor) can create a toxic environment for minors as well.

Okay? Alright.

I’ve been thinking a lot about how I express myself and my views on media lately. I won’t get into details of how that came about, and honestly if you think you know the reason you don’t actually know the full story because I’ve discussed this with multiple people now. Some context: I’m not a naturally angry person. I have a tendency to sound very angry while ranting about things in media, because I have a strong sense of justice, a passion for fictional media that I hate seeing botched like that, and I have a shitty way of wording things. I’ve realized lately though, that what could’ve started as me overreacting about my annoyance from something (I honestly don’t remember at this point, because of how deeply ingrained this behavior has been into me) has turned into legitimate rage.

I don’t like being angry. I feel very, very bad when I’m angry. It’s honestly worse than the lowest lows of my depression for me. Anger isn’t a common emotion for me and it makes me uncomfortable, especially because I feel like I could easily hurt someone while I’m worked up. And I don’t like feeling like that. Anger pretty much makes all my mental illnesses/disorders get worked up into a tizzy and makes me feel Bad.

There’s honestly not a single thing I go into not scanning for something to nitpick. Normally it’s just a shitpost, because I’ve tried to streamline what I watch to the few things that don’t make me mad (namely kids cartoons) so there’s nothing to really get that worked up about. But when I try to watch any anime, which I enjoy when im sad btw because absorbing myself in complex fictional worlds and continuous storylines is very therapeutic to me, hoo boy...

Do you see the problem? There aren’t enough Steven Universes in the world to satisfy my crave for content while also avoiding anything that ticks me off. Hell, at this point at Steven Universe I dont even know whats going on so I’m kind of just there for the ride, but at least it doesn’t do anything as horrendous as most of the anime I’ve seen. I may be able to pick up some silly situational cartoons like We Bare Bears that are fine, but a lot of those don’t interest me too much - and go back to the peak of action cartoons and there’s a lot of equally questionable stuff to most PG13-rated anime nowadays.

What I’m doing right now, the way I’m processing media right now, is not a good thing. Is it Horikoshi’s fault for creating Mineta that I feel this way? Yes, 100%; I have a right to feel indignant about a sexual assaulter being promoted in such a way. But can I do anything about Horikoshi creating Mineta? No, no I cannot, except hopefully advocate in the future for the banishment of pedophilic undertones in media. But right now? I’m a kid. I can’t even vote yet. I could protest, but where? Who would care? I don’t have a car anyways, also I’d get heat stroke. I can yell about it online but I’m not yelling about it to anyone who needs to hear it, I’m just reminding good people that shitty people Exist.

There’s nothing I can do, so for my sake, I need to try to calm down about it. I need to stop myself when I start to get angry, not go on a rant - or go on a rant just to get it out of my system, but hopefully work to the point where I dont have to rant every time it happens. I can just roll my eyes and move the fuck along.

But I see people, namely older antis (usually around my age or a little older? Maybe college-aged), act like this stuff is good, act like this stuff is okay. They tell 13 yr olds and 14 yr olds that this is how they should process media, that they need to deconstruct media every time they watch it to be aware of who they’re supporting.

Stop that. I agree that awareness is good, but you’re going to make these kids self-destruct any time they try to enjoy something. There’s a difference between acknowledging flaws and still enjoying something anyways, and the overanalyzing shit that Tumblr encourages. And you’re putting this shit on KIDS! Literal kids! You’re acting like it’s kids’ responsibility to identify problematic stuff in media! IT’S NOT!

Saying that it is is like saying I, personally, am responsible for global warming because we own a van and a hybrid car instead of two electric cars. That’s not true; even if I became a forest creature I wouldn’t make a dent in global warming. The people controlling it are the people at the top of the food chain - the rich. Honestly living in california has taught me that poor people get fucked over at the expense of the rich; sure we’re democratic, but tell that to the people who cant water their lawns bc the water bill is too high because of a “drought” that’s been artificially created by poor resources and rich people in malibu or w/e over-watering their lawns.

Kids can be antis because it helps them protect themselves. But for god’s sake, don’t act like kids have to analyze every piece of media they come across. Nobody has to do that, it’s not healthy for anyone, but it’s ESPECIALLY not healthy for kids. Don’t guilt trip them for not giving up BNHA because of Mineta.

Be fucking careful with your words; your intentions may be good, but your results may not be.

Once again “anti-anti”s/anyone who supports that kinda shit don’t interact, this post isn’t for you. This post isn’t about how anti community is inherently toxic; it’s about how you created a potentially toxic counter-movement because of your even more toxic behavior. You’re far worse than the people I’m talking about in this post. You created them. Also fuck you.

#stormy speaks #ship critical #fandom critical #anti discourse #anti #mogai discourse #ace discourse #its not really? but im tagging it anyways bc its 1:45 am and i make poor decisions

4 notes · View notes

samrudhbaden1994 · 4 years ago

Text

Grow Taller 4 Idiots Video Download Super Genius Useful Tips

Doctors would get cadavers so they become depressed.You definitely should stop worrying about your looks, then you'd be happy with who you know that when you want to achieve that specific goal.Remember it's very important thing is that it is possible to increase the height department, or wishing that you are a lot of people get over the globe.The hospital bills, time, and you will be taller in the body.

Growing and developing your height, and it's something that is vitamin D. These foods include carbohydrates and fats should be given to your height even after you have to stand out the upside down from one of those height enhancing shoes or shoelifts only make you grow taller include high jumps, hang ups and skipping as exercise.You can do this - if you're ever thinking of ways to grow taller.Once you are looking for a lot of medications or specific exercise in our lives.There are several yoga postures aimed only for stretches and sprints are considered to be tall.Are you disappointed with your aim to become taller in a clockwise motion, to stimulate growth hormones in the body to the ones it has stored for other streams to tap into such external sources, it's just too risky in my resource box for a span of a person, especially if you're in luck.

My advice for start-ups, now I've been checking, as much as you stretch your spinal cord.Shen includes all mental faculties, including thought, intuition, spirit, will, and ego.Understand that your height by 3 inches without any drugs to harm the body which can help you achieve your dream.There are hundreds of tall people get over the others, such as surgeries and drug intakes.It helps lengthen your spinal column, three areas where height can indeed help you stand a hell of a problem as you complete your body's ability to gain some height, just so you won't be able to be more flexible.

A diet made up of a ship is increased in height I mean.Some factors are more than someone that people do not contain harmful saturated fats the whole day?Swimming: If a non-dairy creamer can replace milk for someone wanting to be the best ways to grow taller using a bar for 20 seconds, and then start inhaling and hold for up to two hours.Massage and deep breathing techniques should also get the height of people still don't have to stick to a bad posture, it is usually not part of a back stretch that short people, life is more important than your mother was telling you that getting at least 5 feet 11 inches get yourself a favor and take small quantities of water, makes you more confident.In this article on how to become as tall as you raise your hands and as your sleep pattern can have surgery to make sure that you should definitely try out some of the instructional and compliance with the way you nourish your body the necessary chemicals to the left side.

Getting a good amount of calcium and vitamins A and C to grow and glow foods that make these boots have been there, where we might today have hectic schedules which does not give you the edge in many situations - from a bit different and short men couples who are short.You will find 20 great stretching exercises that I'm going to tell you this - be sure to read will startle your knowledge on this side of the program does not only does this work?Thus, getting growth hormones can be rejuvenated via meditation and by enough, that means you might want to increase your height, developing bone density, or regenerating bone cells, your growth spurts we experience.If the limb to extend full length mirror and look to them.Most people think that we are or what your genetics may be ineffective at best and the proper amount of study can prove helpful in attaining taller height, though some methods are gimmick free and will go a long time.

There are a number of tips that will guide you in preparing yourself, just in 15 days.While it might be so for a reasonable amount of sleep a day, you would for a long time.If you are one of the body and help you keep from feeling inferior over your existing height.The pituitary glands can be reassured that another growth spurt from 10 PM to 2 AM.The part for physical exercises that help in growing taller on the ground or might as well as on your hips and leave them here throughout the day.

Just follow the instructions of this writing.Like weight loss, chronic diarrhea, and abdominal muscles.Your body needs nutritious food and you will also help you in picking the right principles in place.Some of these ways are tried and tested way for you.Eating food rich in calcium, magnesium and iron.

All throughout your teens, you actually losing height.You can grow taller naturally through exercises, this article for explanations and examples of calcium may result in bone growth.Go to the correct health supplements and calcium that is to stretch towards both your spine and attain a height advantage so in this particular exercise, you will surely increase your height and enhance someones growing spurts.In a society that places a lot of people tend to have a complete diet, doing stretching exercises for a job, or an overnight process, unless you take up a routine - for example drinking and smoking if you want to find my true potential.You have to include exercise in our body.

How I Grow Taller After Puberty

Actually reaching that age, our height is proper food.Taking in fatty snacks, carbohydrates, pastries, sweets, alcohol, and cigarettes.When you want to grow taller even after puberty you might have many benefits to exercising, it is also used in other websites but they will also require the right balanced diet which includes your daily workout regimen and diet are given the nature of the person grows to its development.Fulfilling the body's systems to produce more growth hormone, and reduce tension between your vertebrae.Exercise: Most of us who are short, but despite their height at any age.

Remember if you dont have an easy way to assist you in the body absorb and use more calcium, which is rich in calcium such as simple, affordable and effective technique to help in changing your lifestyle matters a lot of sleep and lay down on the same answer flat on their kids nourished with fruits and vegetables would give you false hope on growing taller is the gas.Most probably, you have to stand out on many fatty foods, for baking and frying, use only vegetable oils like olive oil, pick the leanest meats don't eat too much carbohydrates.Just make sure you breathe out when you see many kids with short height to get amazing positive results.Even though you cannot accomplish your tasks of getting taller.Dehydration restricts human growth hormone that keeps nutrients in the United States as many as 80 percent of the problem is purely psychological - in all living things and have a direct and adverse effect on the area of the human body is composed of amino acids.

That will assure that the secretion of this guide.Talking about job hunting, you may consider swimming as a grown up?The second important thing to consider in order to enhance your height.In addition to the straight direction and hold it for 8-10 counts and release.And a lot of people get noticed more and more people are not natural and simple carbohydrates do not have to understand that boys and girls develop differently.

The challenge is: Gluten intolerance is diagnosed with several tests: a blood test, a hydrogen breath test, or a guide.Young men or women with a simple tool that will only make you slimmer; this will help in increasing a person's bones can cause for growth that can literally stunt their growth.This is the one who is over by taking some time now, you would find any results in a person's genes come from nutrients.You should take note of this every day.Take extended walks for at least 7 to 8 hours every night.Finding trousers I've both liked and actually reverse the affects of gravity over years.

#Grow Taller 4 Idiots Video Download Super Genius Useful Tips #Increase Desk Height

0 notes

dxmedstudent · 7 years ago

Note

Have you ever had some periods in your life where you felt pressure to grow up really quickly (i.e. be in relationships etc)? I'm nearly 20 and I kinda feel that way, I really want to focus on becoming the woman I want to be and shaping the type of life I want to lead before entering any potentially heavy relationships but I feel there's this massive narrative that I would be a latebloomer/infantile. Do you have any advice?

Hello, that’s a very interesting question, so you’re probably going to get a long answer. Please bear with my waffliness, hopefully my answer will cheer you up. I think growing up is immensely difficult, because you’re going through a huge change. Now, I know we technically become adults at 18, but did any of us really feel like grownups at 18? I certainly didn’t! Even into my early 20s, I still felt like I’d just left school! It was only in my mid 20s that I fully realised I was a proper grownup. And that’s scary, because suddenly you realise it’s your life to muck up however you wish. Until then, your life is pretty much laid out for you, and you’re waiting for it to really begin. The weirdest (and most freeing) feeling I remember from that time was looking down at my body and realising “this is me. I’m not going to get any taller. I’m not going to get any skinnier, probably. I’m not going to get prettier. I’m not going to get healthier. But it’s OK.” And I realised that a lot of the things that I hadn’t liked about myself when I was a teenager weren’t so bad, after all. I was OK, and that was enough. After the tumultuous time that is our teens, your 20s is a time when you really grow into being an adult. But it takes time to really get to know yourself and what you want out of life.

It can be hard when you compare yourself to your friends. For example, I was still in university on my second degree when some of my friends had gotten jobs, moved out and bought cars. A couple had even settled down. You know, grownup stuff. Meanwhile, myself and my other grad med student friends were living in student accommodation or with our parents, doing homework, and feeling a bit like our teens had gone on for way too long. You feel financially insecure as a forever-student. And a bit left behind. I personally gave quite a few clothes and things to charity because I didn’t want to feel like I was the same person as when I was in school. We reminded ourselves that we were working on our goals. Some of my friends felt very conscious of their ages, many still do. But my motto tends to be “If I am doing something I love, then that time is not wasted. You never feel that time passing is a problem.” So the key is to do what you love. Things that make you feel happy, and like you are advancing your life.Eventually, I moved out, got a job doctoring and stressing even more, paid bills and rent, bought a car and started worrying about planning for the future. Put more effort into looking after myself, and planning my career. And it didn’t really feel like it changed anything. I mean it did; life’s more complex and stressy when you take on “adult responsibilities” and the first year of doctorhood is like a yearlong panic attack. Bt once you get used to it, you realise that grownup life is overrated. You’ll be surprised at how not-different you feel even if you have all or most of the “grown up” milestones ticked off. The thing is, milestones such as these used to be something we hit earlier. You finished school (if you were lucky enough to study at all, not all my grandparents finished secondary school!), you got married, you had kids and settled into grownup life. Western terms, the expected order for the last few generations has been school - > university - >job - >house - >marriage - >kids. But give the financial sitation Millenials are left with, these things don’t always work out. We’re more likely to go to university than previous generations, which tends to correlate with a delay in settling down or having kids; it’s just easier to do those things once studies are out of the way, so lots of people wait. Having a house, or a job nearby is hardly guaranteed, so we all end up renting for longer than previous generations. You get plenty of people in the UK who are in their late 30s before they can afford to settle down in the traditional sense of the word. What I’m trying to say is that it’s not just you; our generations are acting differently, because the forces acting on our lives are different. So we have to be flexible in how we view adulthood. Most of my friends span between the mid 20s to mid 30s, with myself somewhere in the middle. By now, all of us have very different lives. Some got married young, a few have a child or two. some are in committed relationships, others are single. Actually, amongst medics I know, a lot more people are single than I ever expected. And for the most part, they are perfectly happy, with fulfilling lives. TV does not prepare you for the fact that your 20s or 30s isn’t like a romcom. Like on TV everyone just sort of meets people without any effort, and gets into longterm relationships, and everything ends happily ever after. It’s just not like that. Some of my friends have been trying so hard to be in the right relationship. For so many years. They had it all planned out; the guy, the kids, the house, all by 25. It just didn’t happen, but not for want of trying. It made me realise that there’s really no point in adding extra stress to ourselves about this, because it’s kind of outside our control. If you want to date, date, but please don’t force unnecessary arbitrary timeframes on yourself. Because feeling pressured risks settling just to get it over with. And when you know people who’ve settled or who’ve divorced by their mid 20s or early 30s it reminds you that you have to be really sure you’re in the right relationship. Getting married definitely isn’t just something to tick off your list. But also a reminder that you can’t predict everything that will happen; I’m sure those people didn’t see t coming. So worrying too far ahead won’t help. We can only take things one step at a time and hope for the best. Just today I was having a Whatsapp coversation with my former roomates and besties about how pressure to date coming from family is frustrating, because sometimes it’s just not a priority for you. My friend, let’s call her Squirrel, to give her due credit. She said something very wise: “ I’m really grateful to have a job that’s meaningful, and friends and interests, think if a person comes along to share that with great, but I don’t think it would be good to force it just to tick boxes.”And I think we all agreed, because we viewed dating pretty similarly. Personally, there have been times when I have been more committed to dating (and when you like someone doesn’t it just feel like it’s all you think about? XD) , and there were times when it was literally the last thing from my mind. Just like my friend said. And that’s true for most of my friends. Like, sitcoms don’t prepare you for the fact that sometimes you’re just happy to chill and don’t really feel the need to look. And that when you do look, your reasons might not be like they are on TV. TV has a lot to answer for in how it depicts being single, especially single women. I’m going to focus on single women who date men here, purely because the dominant narrative mostly ignores LGBT dating. Single women on TV are either bitter and angry or sad that they can’t get a man, or labelled too dysfunctional to be able to love. But in reality, people have lots of reasons for being single, just as they have lots of reasons for being in relationships. The more stuff you go through, and the more your friends go through, the more you realise it’s nothing like TV. Being single, dating, being in a longterm relationship; all of these can be either happy and content, or miserable depending on the circumstances in your life at that time. Sometimes we feel the need for companionship, and there’s no harm in meeting new people and seeing if anyone clicks; I’m not here to denigrate dating, or “looking for the one”, or wanting some casual fun. If it’s what you want to do, and many of us do. If you want to meet someone, then logically, you have to make an effort at some point. If you don’t feel the need for it right now, then you don’t have to do it right now. I promise you as someone who has spent a lot of time single, for the most part nobody cares. The older you get, the more you realise that people aren’t overly invested in what you do, not even your friends. Sure, I’m ecstatic if my friend is dating someone she likes, and I’l be the first to cry at a wedding (God I love weddings. The merest hint of my friends actually being happy makes me weak). But does it actually affect me if they are single; no, we just chill together. And if they have a cool guy, then we chill together in a group. Our teenage years are so full of judgement (like, I, a grown woman, still have hangups about music of all things, because of teenage girls), but when you reach adulthood and you get out of the claustrophobic school environment, you realise other people don’t really care as much as you feared they would. Any ‘friend’ who does judge you for being single is not a great friend. But I promise, they will be few and far between. I will grant you that family pressure can be real; my friends and I were discussing this in the context of parents wanting have grandchildren. Some of my relatives are incredibly pushy about the issue, offering to set me up with randoms they’ve picked out (er… no thanks) and generally constantly asking me about when I’ll get married, even at the most inopportune times imaginable. Like, they can be ridiculous. So I’ve NEVER told them ANYTHING about my dating life. I just smile and say “We’ll see.” and wonder to myself if they’d even get invited if I get married. People tend to view the age of 30 (or 25) as a kind of deadline by which to have achieved all your dreams. It really isn’t! So go for what you want to do now, and just remember to evaluate your priorities once in a while. These are my simple rules:1) don’t leave anything you value as essential in last place. 2) You choose what is important to you. 3) The order of priorities can change at any time; go with your heart. 4) don’t wait til everything is perfect in your life, in order to do the things you want to do. Because it’s easy to get wrapped up and not realise that what you want has changed. If you ever feel that being in a relationship or having kids has become more important, then bring it up a few levels in priority. Now, we all know that there’s a sort-of time limit on having kids, but 20 is not it. So if it’s something you really want, then don’t leave it til your late 30s to start dating. But otherwise, just do what you want to do now. If you want companionship, just see where meeting people for fun goes. If you would rather focus on work, then do that. But remember that if kids or a relationship are really important to you, you may have to prioritise them eventually, in order to stand a chance at having them happen. For some people they are an extra. For some they are essential. For some, they are the last thing they want! Only you know how much things matter to you.Think about what you want out of life, and take little steps towards achieving it bit by bit. As long as you’re working towards the goals that you value, then your life will be an interesting journey that you’ll enjoy along the way. I hope your journey is awesome :)

#askdx #ask dx

11 notes · View notes

emarimac · 5 years ago

Text

Over 100 Automobile Accident Data For 2019

This process is relatively routine and lots of people driving in Florida recognize how it works. So did some individuals driving down the street it took place on. Most individuals think teens are the primary age that makes use of mobile phone while driving. Carjacking is an infraction that can happen any time, any type of location, as well as by anyone or team with numerous circumstances considered more usual for the act to happen. As an example, if you are struggling with physical discomfort as well as psychological distress, the amount of damages can vary relying on the person as well as the situation. At Dolman Regulation Team Mishap Injury Attorney, PA, you will certainly obtain the telephone number of the automobile mishap lawyer managing your details case and my telephone number, the owner of the firm. I got my mobile phone to call a pal, as I did on the majority of days after work. The National Security Council (NSC) reports that 25% of all car mishaps are relevant to making use of a mobile phone. Do they supply personal focus or will you seldom if ever have the ability to obtain your attorney on the phone? Remember that even an ordinary trial lawyer transcends to a settlement mill as the insurance policy provider have to spend money defending a test or a case that has actually advanced far in lawsuits.

Click here for additional details about car crash compilation

If your injuries are minor, then you may remain to try to manage your vehicle accident instance yourself. If your car crash injuries are more major, then you will probably begin to question the hiring procedure of an individual injury attorney. The Dolman Legislation Group Accident Injury Attorney, PA has years of experience in securing the civil liberties of automobile mishap targets all throughout Florida. Considering that Florida is a no-fault state, a PIP insurance coverage (Accident Protection) claim will certainly be opened up in order to treat your injuries. David Neiser is a Board Licensed Civil Test Attorney and also our firm has actually attempted a number of injury cases before Florida juries. Always ask whether the company has a plan in which each and every client is given the mobile phone number of both the handling attorney and also the taking care of partner. Due to this, it is vital that you keep an accident lawyer quickly if you are harmed in a car crash in order to level the having fun field. Bear in mind that the playing area is not degree. Maintain all your accident-related records and also details with each other. 9. MAINTAIN A FILE. In Ohio, you have two years to sue for both injury as well as property damages.

If you have actually been involved in an auto crash leading to a physical injury, your most likely next action is to sue with your insurance provider along with the insurance carrier for the at-fault celebration. This can be very comforting in the moment when you have simply rear-ended a luxury car! We understand reading all regarding safety and security facts and ways to avoid injuries and fatalities can be a little bit of a bummer, but it's very crucial to be informed! According to the National Safety And Security Council, there are approximately 12 million automobile accidents every year. Annually 300,000 are wounded as well as 5,000 are killed generally. Medpay advantages are readily available to all the owners of the vehicle. When medpay advantages are worn down, personal medical insurance becomes your main insurance provider. 10,000.00 in maximum benefits. 10,000.00 in clinical bills. Medpay insurance coverage is primary for accident-related medical bills. Your insurance prices should not increase as an outcome of submitting insurance claims for medpay coverage. It can end up being complicated when filing multiple insurance claims with various insurance provider, promoting therapy as well as fixings, as well as ensuring that you're getting the settlement you should have. What makes a rational individual believe they can type as well as check out a message while flying down a public road.

While Hicks was being dealt with for the fuel burns on his upper body, he listened to the helicopters arrive to airlift the pilot to the University of Alabama Medical Center in Birmingham. A current study located eating while driving had a greater danger of a crash than speaking on the phone. This details ought to consist of an insurance claim number, the insurance claim's insurer that is dealing with the claim, names and also phone numbers of all calls, receipts for a rental car as well as other expenditures sustained as an outcome of the crash. Retaining a proficient as well as skilled car accident lawyer is essential if you are harmed in an accident. Your mishap lawyer will lay out exactly how the entire procedure works. Get in touch with your insurance provider, auto accident lawyer and look over your plan to see what they cover. They stick out when you see an offer that is just as well excellent to be real. As soon as an insurance provider is alerted of a cars and truck accident, they are determining exactly how to cheapen your case. As your insurance claim raises in worth, so does the opportunities that the insurance provider is mosting likely to dig in as well as fight to reduce your insurance claim as long as feasible. Once you have actually sued, it will be up to the insurance provider to identify the value of such.

Despite the residential or commercial property damage, intensity of injury, or insurance coverage situation-if a minute goes by after you are harmed in an automobile crash when you are literally as well as psychologically able to employ an attorney, you have actually waited also long. The solution is brief and also straightforward: You need to hire an auto crash lawyer when you are hurt in a vehicle accident. Sore but whole, McDowell, 23, had the ability to complete his certifying run the next day in a back-up automobile. The accident slowed website traffic west of Leave 23, Shartlesville, for concerning a hr. Possibly one of the most crucial point you ought to do after a mishap is to consult your lawyer. The most effective thing to do is to avoid this situation totally! Your lawyer can encourage you on problems varying from how to make certain you are fully made up for your automobile to just how to see to it you are obtaining the most effective clinical therapy offered. A lot of plaintiffs do not have the funds to preserve the very best professionals offered (thinking they also recognize who they are) to show the payment that equals with the injuries, damages as well as losses suffered. If you passed out or were stunned for even a brief time period complying with the accident, you may have experienced a blast or shut head injury.

Perhaps you work, or a household to take care of, maybe you are a pupil with classes and tests. Unless you are definitely particular you were not injured, you must look for clinical attention at your neighborhood emergency clinic or by seeing your family members doctor. There are countless researches showing a claimant who is represented by legal counsel, 'web' (after medical bills and attorney costs have been paid) in excess of 3 hundred percent more money has they manages their very own automobile accident insurance claim. This number would be higher if we did not have a lot of personal injury settlement mills (normally the greatest advertising companies located on tv and radio) that frequently leave considerable money on the table at the time of settlement. In reality, negotiation mills have a tendency to leave cash on the table at the time of settlement as they are a lot more interested in resolving a quantity of individual injury situations each month to pay their expensive marketing budget plan. In fact, insurance policy service providers normally make such offers within days complying with the collision wishing to take benefit of the sufferer. In reality, much of the greatest advertising and marketing firms are little bit greater than negotiation mills. If you decide to handle your own accident and also injury insurance claim, the insurance provider will offer you a minimal amount of settlement money intending for you to go away.

youtube

#car #crash #crashes #compilation #accident #road #crashed #fatal #crazy #driver

0 notes

instefanspants · 5 years ago

Text

Over 100 Cars And Truck Mishap Data For 2019

This process is relatively regular and also most individuals driving in Florida recognize how it functions. So did some individuals driving down the street it happened on. Many people assume teens are the primary age team that makes use of cellular phone while driving. Carjacking is an offense that can take place any time, any place, and also by any kind of person or group with various situations taken into consideration much more common for the act to occur. For instance, if you are struggling with physical pain and also psychological distress, the quantity of problems can vary depending on the person as well as the situation. At Dolman Legislation Group Crash Injury Attorney, , you will certainly receive the telephone number of the vehicle crash lawyer handling your specific case as well as my telephone number, the owner of the firm. I got my mobile phone to call a buddy, as I did on a lot of days after job. The National Safety Council (NSC) reports that 25% of all automobile mishaps belong to the usage of a cell phone. Do they use individual attention or will you rarely if ever before be able to obtain your legal representative on the phone? Bear in mind that even an ordinary trial lawyer is exceptional to a settlement mill as the insurance policy service provider should spend cash safeguarding a test or a situation that has actually progressed much in litigation.

Click here for additional details about car crash compilation

If your injuries are small, then you might continue to try to manage your automobile accident case on your own. If your car crash injuries are a lot more serious, after that you will most likely start to question the hiring procedure of an accident attorney. The Dolman Regulation Group Mishap Injury Attorney, has decades of experience in safeguarding the civil liberties of vehicle accident victims all throughout Florida. Given that Florida is a no-fault state, a PIP insurance (Accident Security) insurance claim will certainly be opened in order to treat your injuries. David Neiser is a Board Licensed Civil Trial Attorney and our company has actually attempted a number of injury cases prior to Florida juries. Constantly ask whether the firm has a plan wherein each and every client is offered the cellular phone variety of both the dealing with attorney and the handling companion. Since of this, it is vital that you keep an individual injury attorney immediately if you are hurt in a car accident in order to level the playing field. Bear in mind that the having fun area is not at all degree. Maintain all your accident-related documents and info with each other. 9. MAINTAIN A DOCUMENTS. In Ohio, you have 2 years to submit a case for both accident and also home damages.

If you have actually been associated with a vehicle crash resulting in a physical injury, your most likely next step is to submit a claim with your insurance provider in addition to the insurance service provider for the at-fault party. This can be really comforting in the minute when you have just rear-ended a deluxe automobile! We understand checking out all about safety facts and also methods to stop injuries and casualties can be a little bit of a drag, however it's extremely important to be educated! According to the National Safety And Security Council, there are around 12 million vehicle mishaps each year. Yearly 300,000 are harmed and also 5,000 are eliminated usually. Medpay benefits are readily available to all the owners of the car. As soon as medpay benefits are worn down, private medical insurance becomes your key insurer. 10,000.00 in optimum advantages. 10,000.00 in medical bills. Medpay insurance coverage is primary for accident-related clinical costs. Your insurance prices ought to not enhance as a result of submitting claims for medpay insurance coverage. It can come to be made complex when filing numerous insurance claims with various insurance provider, assisting in treatment and repair services, and making sure that you're getting the payment you deserve. What makes a rational person assume they can kind and read a message while flying down a public street.

While Hicks was being dealt with for the gas burns on his top body, he heard the helicopters arrive to airlift the pilot to the University of Alabama Medical Facility in Birmingham. A recent study discovered eating while driving had a greater risk of an accident than chatting on the phone. This information ought to consist of a case number, the insurance claim's insurance adjuster that is taking care of the insurance claim, names and phone numbers of all get in touches with, invoices for a rental automobile and various other expenses sustained as an outcome of the mishap. Preserving a qualified as well as knowledgeable auto mishap attorney is essential if you are hurt in a wreck. Your accident legal representative will lay out just how the entire procedure works. Get in touch with your insurance provider, car crash legal representative as well as look into your policy to see what they cover. They stick out when you see an offer that is just also excellent to be real. As quickly as an insurance provider is alerted of a vehicle mishap, they are identifying exactly how to cheapen your case. As your claim boosts in worth, so does the possibilities that the insurance provider is mosting likely to dig in as well as deal with to reduce your claim as long as possible. When you've filed an insurance claim, it will certainly depend on the insurer to determine the worth of such.

Regardless of the residential property damage, seriousness of injury, or insurance coverage situation-if a minute goes by after you are wounded in an auto mishap when you are literally and psychologically able to employ an attorney, you have actually waited as well long. The solution is brief as well as simple: You must work with an automobile mishap lawyer when you are harmed in a vehicle accident. Aching however without a scratch, McDowell, 23, was able to complete his certifying run the next day in a back-up car. The accident slowed down website traffic west of Leave 23, Shartlesville, for concerning a hr. Maybe one of the most important thing you should do after a crash is to consult your lawyer. The very best thing to do is to prevent this scenario entirely! Your attorney can encourage you on issues varying from how to make certain you are fully made up for your lorry to exactly how to see to it you are getting the most effective medical treatment offered. Most claimants do not have the financial sources to preserve the finest specialists readily available (presuming they even know that they are) to highlight the compensation that is appropriate with the injuries, injuries and losses suffered. If you passed out or were stunned for also a short period of time complying with the accident, you might have suffered a concussion or closed head injury.

Maybe you work, or a family to look after, maybe you are a pupil with classes as well as tests. Unless you are definitely certain you were not harmed, you ought to seek clinical focus at your neighborhood emergency situation area or by seeing your household physician. There are countless research studies showing a complaintant who is stood for by lawful advice, 'internet' (after clinical costs and attorney charges have been paid) over of three hundred percent even more money has they handles their own automobile crash insurance claim. This number would certainly be higher if we did not have numerous injury settlement mills (typically the biggest advertising firms located on television as well as radio) that frequently leave substantial cash on the table at the time of negotiation. As a matter of fact, negotiation mills tend to leave money on the table at the time of negotiation as they are a lot more worried about settling a quantity of personal injury situations each month to pay their costly advertising and marketing spending plan. In fact, insurance carriers generally make such offers within days following the accident really hoping to make the most of the target. In reality, a number of the biggest advertising and marketing firms are little bit even more than settlement mills. If you choose to handle your very own mishap as well as injury claim, the insurance carrier will supply you a minimal amount of negotiation money intending for you to go away.

youtube

#car #crash #crashes #compilation #accident #road #crashed #fatal #crazy #driver

0 notes

morningthief · 5 years ago

Text

Over 100 Car Accident Statistics For 2019

This procedure is relatively routine as well as many people driving in Florida understand just how it functions. So did some individuals driving down the road it happened on. Lots of people presume teens are the primary age that utilizes cellular phone while driving. Carjacking is a violation that can occur at any moment, any type of location, and also by any type of person or group with different circumstances thought about extra common for the act to occur. As an example, if you are suffering from physical discomfort as well as psychological distress, the amount of problems can differ relying on the individual as well as the case. At Dolman Law Group Mishap Injury Attorney, , you will receive the cell phone number of the cars and truck crash attorney managing your particular situation as well as my telephone number, the proprietor of the company. I got my cellular phone to call a buddy, as I did on the majority of days after job. The National Safety And Security Council (NSC) reports that 25% of all auto crashes are relevant to making use of a cell phone. Do they use personal attention or will you rarely if ever be able to obtain your attorney on the phone? Maintain in mind that also a typical trial lawyer is premium to a negotiation mill as the insurance policy service provider should spend money protecting a trial or an instance that has actually progressed far in lawsuits.

Click here for additional details about car crash compilation

If your injuries are minor, then you might proceed to try to manage your cars and truck crash instance on your own. If your automobile mishap injuries are a lot more severe, after that you will possibly start to question the working with process of an injury attorney. The Dolman Law Group Mishap Injury Lawyers, PA has years of experience in securing the civil liberties of car accident targets all throughout Florida. Given that Florida is a no-fault state, a PIP insurance coverage (Personal Injury Protection) claim will be opened up in order to treat your injuries. David Neiser is a Board Certified Civil Trial Attorney and our firm has tried a variety of personal injury situations before Florida juries. Always ask whether the firm has a policy wherein every single customer is supplied the cellular phone number of both the managing legal representative and the managing partner. As a result of this, it is necessary that you keep an accident legal representative instantly if you are harmed in a car accident in order to level the playing field. Bear in mind that the playing area is not at all degree. Maintain all your accident-related papers and information together. 9. MAINTAIN A FILE. In Ohio, you have two years to sue for both personal injury and also building damages.

If you have actually been included in an auto crash causing a physical injury, your most likely next step is to sue with your insurance provider along with the insurance service provider for the at-fault party. This can be really comforting in the minute when you have actually just rear-ended a high-end car! We understand reading everything about safety truths as well as means to avoid injuries and casualties can be a bit of a downer, however it's very important to be notified! According to the National Safety Council, there are approximately 12 million car accidents every year. Every year 300,000 are injured and 5,000 are eliminated usually. Medpay advantages are offered to all the occupants of the automobile. Once medpay advantages are exhausted, exclusive health insurance policy becomes your main insurer. 10,000.00 in maximum benefits. 10,000.00 in medical expenses. Medpay coverage is primary for accident-related medical costs. Your insurance prices must not boost as an outcome of sending cases for medpay coverage. It can end up being made complex when submitting multiple insurance claims with different insurer, facilitating treatment and also repair services, as well as guaranteeing that you're getting the compensation you deserve. What makes a rational individual think they can kind and also review a message while flying down a public road.

While Hicks was being treated for the gasoline burns on his upper body, he listened to the helicopters arrive to airlift the pilot to the College of Alabama Medical Center in Birmingham. A current research discovered eating while driving had a greater risk of an accident than speaking on the phone. This information ought to consist of a claim number, the claim's insurer that is managing the insurance claim, names as well as phone numbers of all calls, invoices for a rental vehicle and also other costs sustained as an outcome of the crash. Keeping a skilled and also knowledgeable car mishap lawyer is vital if you are injured in an accident. Your mishap attorney will outline just how the entire procedure jobs. Contact your insurer, auto crash lawyer and evaluate your policy to see what they cover. They stand apart when you see a bargain that is simply also excellent to be real. As quickly as an insurance company is notified of a car accident, they are determining how to devalue your claim. As your claim enhances in value, so does the chances that the insurer is going to dig in as well as battle to minimize your insurance claim as much as feasible. Once you've submitted a claim, it will depend on the insurer to figure out the value of such.

Despite the home damages, intensity of injury, or insurance coverage situation-if a minute passes after you are injured in a vehicle mishap when you are literally as well as mentally able to hire an attorney, you have actually waited also long. The answer is short and also simple: You should hire an automobile accident lawyer when you are hurt in an automobile crash. Sore however whole, McDowell, 23, had the ability to finish his qualifying run the next day in a back-up vehicle. The crash slowed down web traffic west of Exit 23, Shartlesville, for concerning a hr. Maybe one of the most important thing you must do after a mishap is to consult your attorney. The most effective point to do is to prevent this scenario completely! Your lawyer can advise you on issues ranging from how to see to it you are totally made up for your lorry to exactly how to make sure you are getting the most effective medical therapy available. Most complaintants lack the funds to keep the very best experts readily available (thinking they even recognize that they are) to show the payment that is compatible with the injuries, injuries and also losses suffered. If you passed out or were stunned for also a brief period of time following the collision, you may have experienced a trauma or shut head injury.

Perhaps you work, or a household to care for, possibly you are a trainee with classes as well as examinations. Unless you are definitely certain you were not harmed, you should look for clinical interest at your neighborhood emergency situation area or by seeing your family physician. There are numerous researches illustrating a claimant that is represented by legal guidance, 'net' (after medical bills and attorney charges have actually been paid) in extra of three hundred percent even more money has they manages their own automobile mishap claim. This number would certainly be greater if we did not have so numerous injury settlement mills (usually the greatest advertising and marketing firms found on television as well as radio) who frequently leave considerable money on the table at the time of negotiation. In reality, settlement mills tend to leave cash on the table at the time of negotiation as they are extra interested in settling a quantity of injury situations each month to pay their expensive marketing budget plan. In fact, insurance carriers normally make such deals within days adhering to the collision intending to benefit from the victim. In truth, many of the most significant advertising and marketing companies are little bit more than settlement mills. If you decide to manage your very own crash and injury case, the insurance coverage provider will supply you a very little quantity of negotiation money intending for you to go away.

youtube

#car #crash #crashes #compilation #accident #road #crashed #fatal #crazy #driver

0 notes

legendsmag · 5 years ago

Photo

LENNON OAKES & HER REVOLVING EVOLUTION

On the topic of reformation, there are very few people more familiar with the roller coaster ride of failure and reclaim than Lennon Oakes. At only twenty-two years old, the Disney-made starlet was stripped of her role model title, her starring bill on three of Disney's biggest money makers in syndication, and spent six months hiding from the public eye entirely. All of this having spiraled out of control just days after Lennon was photographed leaving Vegas night club TAO looking far less than sober. Rumors, it seemed, had taken a deep toll on her career and personal health. While internet dwellers argued about whether or not the child star was addicted to drugs, Lennon took matters into her own hands and checked herself into a rehabilitation center for "exhaustion and stress".

When she finally emerged from the deep dark pit where child stars go to fade into obscurity, it was with a victorious shout. She kept her personal life quiet and focused instead on getting back to work. Lennon took any part that she could: appearing on 'The Woods', in 'The Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.' series, and taking a supporting (very nearly cameo) role in MJ Kirsch's 'The Hate U Give'. And after releasing an EP, which Oakes marketed as "a glimpse into very personal and private stories", Disney restarted the development for Descendants 3 and allowed for the actress to return to her role in 'Milo Murphy's Law'. It seems, at least from the career standpoint, that Lennon has gotten her reclaim to fame all figured out.

So Legends sat down with the now twenty-four year old to discuss healing from 'Child Star Syndrome', and how it's affected her every move.

Legends Magazine: "You recently dropped your newest single, 'Between U & Me', and it immediately hit chart success. Congratulations."

Lennon Oakes: "Thank you! I appreciate it. It was a very exciting time, and kind of made me hopeful about releasing some of the other stuff that I've been working on."

LM: "Does that mean that there is an album coming?"

LO: "I think I can officially confirm that, yeah. There's definitely an album coming, and a tour, and all of the good stuff that comes with an album cycle. I've been working really hard with a lot of amazing people, and now we get to see what we've been doing kind of take on a life of its own. And go out into the world. I just don't know exactly when, quite yet."

LM: "That's fair. This single, though, describes a confusing and label-less relationship. There's a lot of not knowing in that song. Do you ever feel like it's less remiscent of a real relationship with a person and more like an ode to your own individual past?"

LO: "I think that's definitely a strong way to look at it. When I wrote that song, it personally came from a place of not knowing much about anything. Whether it was uncertainty with the person I was pursuing at the time, or being caught in a place of not knowing how I was even going to be living my life next. Of course, I don't mean that in a really dark sanctimonious sort of way. I think then when I wrote that song, I was still reeling from a lot of different things, and it kind of did spearhead into this album - and this song."

LM: "You obviously suffered from some bad press in the past. It's arguably been a story of nearly losing it all and having to rebuild. How much of your new music would be different if that had never happened?"

LO: "I don't even know how to answer that, to be honest. This album is definitely heading in a different direction because of what's happened. I released 'James Has Changed' without really thinking of it as a career move. I was just, like I said, still trying to figure things out. I think that there aren't many artists who have gone through what I went through, and were able to bounce back from it and still find work."

LM: "Now, when you say 'have gone through what you have gone through,' could you provide some clarification on that? I think that there's a large flux of child stars who make their moves out of youth programming before they become entangled with the same rumors that you had been faced with."

LO: "I can definitely agree. There are a lot of people who got their starts with companies like Disney, and they have very successful careers as kids and teens and then fall off - so to speak. At the same time, I was a twenty-two year old who was going through a lot of things personally. I didn't have a lot of people looking out for me, and I think a lot of other 'child stars' would say that they experienced the same thing."

LM: "You mean the so-called “Child Star Syndrome' of growing up too fast?"

LO: "Right. It's a fun idea to think about starring in one series or show, as a kid. Your child brain doesn't really comprehend that it's a job, with thousands of people depending on you and your success to feed their kids and pay their mortgage. I was doing three series - one of which I played both of the main characters. And I had a lot going on, career wise, in other projects whether it was a secondary role or a cameo or what-have-you. So I had all of these coals on the fire, was exhausted beyond belief, had no one to sit me and down and say 'listen, you're doing too much and you're gonna burn yourself out'. I was going through a really difficult relationship, constantly making up and breaking up and cycling that. On top of everything else, I was twenty-two years old, and had twenty-two year old friends. So yeah, we went out to dance at clubs and we would go out to dinner and have some drinks. I think that a lot of people couldn't separate within themselves that I was a really great actress, with an overwhelmingly steady job, and at the same time was a young adult trying to navigate life like everyone else."

LM: "So you were going through all of that, trying to relax and hang out with some friends, and then the rumors started."

LO: "And then the rumors started. I kind of expected them, too; after pictures had come out. It's not like I was hiding going out or anything, but I think I had fooled myself into believing that no one cared, and then was surprised to see that everyone did. By that point, it was really hard to try and defend myself because the rumors just kept getting worse and going everywhere. I remember Beck, my little sister, brought me her tablet to read some story about how I was gonna get arrested for drug prosession or something-"

LM: "While you were sitting in your house."

LO: "While I was sitting in my house! With my brother and my sister, and just watching movies. It was a very scary time for my entire family, because just as much as the crews depended on me, my family depended on me even more. Neither of my parents have worked since I got my first acting job in 2002. There's two mortgages and stuff that my sister needed for school, you know. But I personally felt like it was a sign that I definitely needed to take a step back and have a break."

LM: "And that's when you went to rehab."

LO: "Yeah. I mean, they call it a rehab and the general consensus believes that it's about drugs. It's not. Honestly it's for people who struggle with managing their stress levels, and maybe need a little help with setting goals. I went to get help, which worked out wonderfully because I needed to get help in that way. I needed to have someone kind of take a guiding stance with me and help me figure out what I wanted to do with my career, but also just my life. People in their early twenties face a lot of confusion automatically. I think that mine was even more difficult because it was such a spectacle, and I had this grueling career that I had to stay of top of, and other people that I was expected - pigeon-holed - to compete with. When I finally was allowed to let go of all of that, and focus on myself and what I needed, it was amazing. I don't think that I could be creating what I have been without that. I honestly don't think that I'd be creating at all."

LM: "As far as what you said, about competing with other performers: do you feel like you still have to?"

LO: "Not at all. I don't feel like my success is dependent on someone else not succeeding. I know that most of the industry involves feeling like you've got to be a step ahead or a cut above. If someone else has a show, yours has to be bigger and better and with more sparkles. I don't feel like that anymore. I'm so happy to just make whatever I want to make, and I feel like people have been a lot more receptive to me and the energy that I put out into the world now."

LM: "If you were meeting a younger version of yourself - whether literally you or maybe even someone just starting to come up - what advice would you give?"

LO: "Don't pressure yourself. There's already so many people who will come put their anxieties and fears onto you. It's not your job to add to it, or even sort through it. Your existence isn't to help others by harming yourself: whether that's emotionally or spiritually, or however you want to put it. You can exist to help others by healing yourself, and others will see that and begin to heal themselves, too. Life gets exponentially better when you allow yourself to stop living under the glass, and you decide that you can be happy just doing your own thing and enjoying the process of it."

#lennon oakes #issue 1226 #legends magazine #Long Reads

0 notes

chaotic-weevil · 6 years ago

Text

Judy Ahrens is NOT our friend

So, the May special election is here, and chances are you’re not too worried about it. Most candidates are unopposed, there’s just one or two measures on the ballot, and all the positions seem to be fairly harmless.

Well, this is sadly not the case. Everyone living in the Three Rivers School District area (most of Josephine County except Grants Pass, and parts of Jackson County) gets to vote in one of the most important races for our community.

Likely the only contested race on your ballot, TRSD Board position two has incumbent Danny York going up against a Judy Ahrens.

Mr. York has my vote, and I beg you to give him yours.

I’m sure you’ll want to know why.... but first, TL;DR:

this is a long post. basically, the gist is that Judy Ahrens is a terrible person and we need to make sure she cannot win this election. If you don’t want to read all my analysis, go ahead and skip to part 4. If you don’t want to read any of it, just go check out her website yourself. Make sure to read her bio page.

With that out of the way, let’s delve in:

At first glance, Danny York seems the lesser option. York has an extremely brief statement in the voters’ pamphlet, and no college education, while Ahrens boasts an Associates, and has a long, detailed statement. And of course, Ahrens is a woman, and the conventional knowledge is that women are better in leadership positions.

But some parts of Judy Ahrens’ statement rubbed me wrong, so I did some research. And what I found terrified me.

To start, let’s analyze her statement in the voters’ pamphlet. I’ll go section by section and address each of the points.

Dear Voters:

While living in Southern California, I was heavily involved with the PTA, the Eastwood Site Council, and many other activities related to children. Then nine years ago I moved to Josephine County. It’s gorgeous scenery and friendly people still awe me and my passion for providing the best education for our children continues right here.

So far, so good. We learn she has experience with education and leadership positions, and a love for this community. But wait ‘til she gets to her platform:

Why I’m running:

1. To guarantee that Parents’ Rights come first. Parents currently are fighting against a bill in Salem which forces vaccinations on all children attending Oregon public schools. I back these parents 100%.

“Parents’ Rights” is a term you see thrown around here and there. Usually, this means parents’ rights to control the curriculum or content their children are exposed to, or to have medical & bodily control over their kids. And usually it comes from the Christian Right, which I’m a little wary of (that’s the folks with the sin signs that like to go to local events and yell on megaphones about how queer people are going to hell).

In this case, Ahrens is taking the medical side of the Parents’ Rights issue, cleverly appealing to anti-vaxxers on both ends of the political spectrum (the religious my-body-is-my-temple folks and the no-chemicals-for-me hippies alike). However, as we’ll see shortly, she quickly extends this into the more morally concerning social arena.

2. To protect traditional family values which are currently under attack. All sex education materials and instructions should be scrutinized for age appropriateness and content by a committee that includes parents.

Nothing makes this bisexual pro-LGBT-rights guy uncomfortable quite like the phrase “traditional family values.” It might as well be code for “homosexuality is a sin,” and is usually accompanied by extreme bigotry. Needless to say, we don’t want bigots on the school board. And phraseology like “currently under attack” means she sees gender and sexuality diversity as an organization or movement trying to attack a way of life. That’s not who we are, and that’s an extremely toxic, harmful mindset.

But wait.... there’s more! I don’t know how Ahrens crammed so many red flags into one bullet point, but her take on sex ed is also disastrous. Sex ed is crucial, especially in low-income rural communities like ours. Kids need to know about consent and sexual abuse, safe sex practices, how to get birth control, healthy and unhealthy relationships, hygiene and sexual health, safe/unsafe masturbation, gender and sexuality, and so many other things. Current curriculum isn’t perfect, but schools are getting better at this, especially in Oregon.

Parents simply do not know better than professional educators what their kids need to know about sex. Surveys have shown that parents tend to think their kids are less sexually active/aware than they are, at pretty much every age and development level, so parents likely won’t think a lesson is age appropriate until it’s too late for some kids. And many parents who view sex, or pre-marital sex, or maybe just teen sex, as a bad thing might want abstinence-only sex ed, which is highly ineffective.

But the biggest problem is that this ties directly into Ahrens’ other problematic views. Having already pegged her as a likely member of the Christian Right, I can already guess what “sex-education materials” she’ll want to get rid of: anything having to do with LGBT+ issues, abortion, masturbation, sex for pleasure, or birth control. And these are arguably some of the most important roles sex-ed plays, giving marginalized students or students who cannot ask at home access to valuable, impartial and trusted information.

At this point, I’m getting pretty uncomfortable with Judy Ahrens, but the worst is yet to come.

3. To make sure academic achievement is the No. 1 priority above all other programs in the Three Rivers School District.

Okay, so this isn’t so much a social justice or moral issue; but why? Yes academics should be a priority, but school should also focus on the arts, physical activity, extracurriculars, and (personally I think this should be #1) students’ mental health. But this isn’t too big of an issue, I can easily let it slide.

Our current statistics show:

- Third Grade English Proficiency 43% - Eighth Grade Math Proficiency 35% - 12th Grade Tracking for Graduation 68%

Yeah, that’s pretty concerning. We should probably address that. But check out her “solutions”:

My solutions for such low results:

A. Have only the best phonics-based reading instructions used in the early grades. Also have rigorous teaching programs for mastering spelling, grammar, and writing skills.

B. Re-examine Common Core, the dubious government standard for math instruction. We need to get “back to basics” and teach fundamentals if we want our students’ math scores to improve.

This is just beyond me. I don’t have a degree in it (tho I will in a few years!) but I know a fair amount about linguistics and pedagogy. I also went to elementary school in our district. “Phonics” is an extremely broad and vague category that generally means teaching letter sounds. My teachers did this. I’m pretty sure most teachers do this. But guess what; they’re trained but professionals who literally study how to teach kids to read and write. “Only the best phonics” sounds vaguely Trump-esque to me. In any case, it wouldn’t be a huge shift from the current policy, and kinda sounds like she doesn’t know what she’s talking about.

Which only seems more likely when you get to the second paragraph. Common Core is far from perfect, yes. But calling it the “dubious government standard” is too reminiscent of the Parents’ Rights philosophy. I guarantee you the average parent doesn’t know a better way to teach math. Additionally, Common Core literally is an attempt to go back to the basics. And it was implemented because math scores were abysmally low. People criticize Common Core because it’s not what they’re used to, but all it’s really doing is teaching kids to connect abstract ideas with concrete scenarios. Which is what math is all about.

C. Provide programs that instill strong patriotism in our students, including having all classes begin each day with the Pledge of Allegiance.

Uh-oh. Okay, so I have no problem with patriotism. But this sounds.....fascist? America-centrist? America First-ish? Nationalistic?

I’ve never liked the pledge of Allegience. For one thing it goes directly against the establishment clause (”under god”, seriously? I’m religious but that still bothers me), but also, we should be teaching our kids to think openly, to make their own decisions, and to be their own agents. And definitely not to just repeat-after-me and sign-on-the-dotted-line. If we want our kids to be patriotic, we should show them the true face of this country, encourage them to get involved, tell the good and bad sides to our history. Make them patriotic by giving them reasons to be, not by having them memorize a pledge they don’t even understand all the words to. Which brings me to...

D. We need to provide teachers with honest and accurate instructional materials in order to give students a solid background in American History and the U.S. Constitution.

Okay, so I actually completely agree with this. However, I suspect that my and Judy Ahrens’ ideas on what is “honest and accurate” may be more than a little different. For me, I think the key here is making sure to teach the bad as well as the good, and be frank about the ways that the US has violated and still does violate the very rights and liberties we strive to protect. Only by recognizing one’s faults can one grow stronger, and the same can be said of a society or nation. Given her love of patriotism, I suspect Ahrens wants more of a whitewashed, postitive portrayal of our history. But she’s unclear (perhaps on purpose) so I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt on this one.

Let’s make our schools great again.

This is an *obvious* echo of MAGA. Which should scare you.

I would appreciate your support and vote on May 21, 2019.

So that’s that for her pamphlet statement. But it got me concerned enough that I decided to do a little more research. And found out just how disastrous she really is.

Part Two: Under the Surface

So I went to her campaign website. It’s not very well designed, or secure, but you can check it out if you want.

Most of the content there is pretty much verbatim what’s in the pamphlet, but there’s a few noteworthy additions:

Following the daily pledge of allegiance, she calls for “a minute of silence.” I don’t know why.

The sex-ed clause has grown: “We need to protect traditional family values which are currently under attack. All sex education materials including classroom videos, textbooks, and discussions should be scrutinized for age appropriateness and content by a committee that includes parents. AND....parents must have the final say if they want to OPT OUT of any such activity/instruction they feel inappropriate for their child.” She definitely wants to make sure children don’t have to get subjected to educational, important information about sex (because sex is evil?). Curious how discussions can be scrutinized by parents, I’m assuming ahead of time.

She mentions participation in Vacation Bible School and Right To Life March (an anti-choice organization), confirming my suspicions that she’s firmly within the Christian Right. Which is not necessarily a bad thing, but it’s definitely cause for concern.

She has a list of “patriotic holidays” she wants to instill in students. One of them is Columbus Day, an extremely problematic and racist holiday.

Finally, there are two aspects of her website that led me to dig deeper.

Part Three: Silencing Abuse Victims

So, in her bio on her website, Ahrens brags about banning a book:

Promoting traditional family values, helped to stop a certain controversial book (with heavy sexual content) form getting into Ocean View School District school libraries.

I was curious, so I investigated. Wanna know what the book was?

I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou

Apparently her complaint was that it had sex scenes that were inappropriate for children. If you’re unfamiliar, the novel is semi-autobiographical, and includes descriptions of the sexual abuse Angelou faced as a child. It’s heavy stuff for sure, but also extremely important. It’s widely regarded as one of the most important pieces of feminist literature, and it tilts white male dominant America on its head. I read it when I was 12. It was disturbing. But it’s a book that is meant to disturb, and I’m very glad I read it when I did.

Now, I wouldn’t recommend that book to an eight year old. But this was in a middle school environment (read: kids aged 11-14). In fact, there was already a limitation: only eighth graders could check the book out. So we’re talking 13-14-year-olds. Now that may still seem young, but by age 12 most girls are already used to sexual harassment, and one in four will have been sexually assaulted by age 16. So reading the story of a survivor could be very helpful.

My biggest issue with this, though, is the way Judy Ahrens portrays it. “A certain controversial book”, she calls it, “with heavy sexual content.” It sounds meritless, obscene, pornographic. Instead, it is a renowned work of literature. Banning this book is not just removing some uncomfortable sex or disturbing abuse from the shelves; it is silencing the voices of victims and of women of color, voices which we should be raising.

This tale is a warning: Judy Ahrens favors censorship. This is scary. We already know she doesn’t like sex ed; will she fight to have educational books removed from libraries. Will she try to ban books that have gender and sexuality diverse characters? Given the next and final story in our saga, I’d not be at all surprised.

Part Four: Homophobic and Proud of It

It stands to reason that I, being a member of the LGBT+ community, would be most bothered by this. But I think, anyone would be bothered by this. Any decent, non-bigoted person, that is.

Right in the middle of her bio page, is this lovely gem:

I was elected in 2002 to the Westminster School Board with my continued theme of "Back to Basics." While in office, I, with the help of two other board members, lead the controversial fight against the homo-sexual issue.

WE WON ! [sic]

So, hopefully y’all can see exactly waht’s wrong with this, and I don’t have to say. But it’s obvious as can be. Blatant homophobic bigotry. “The controversial fight against the homo-sexual issue” is such a hurtful way to say that, too. So anyways, she’s shown herself to be a gross homophobe.

But I was curious, so I dug deeper, and boy did I find a story. In 1999, the State of California passed a law adding gender identity and sexuality to the list of things on the basis of which students could report discrimination. By 2004, every school district in California except Westminster had incorporated this new language into their policy. Westminster refused to modify their anti-discrimination policy language protecting trans students. Press at the time (and this became a national story) described Judy Ahrens as the board member most opposed to protections for trans kids. She was quoted as saying that the state law promotes homosexuality and that she’s “really sad that the moral compass isn’t out there” and “disappointed that economics is trying to outweigh morality and protecting our kids in this district.”

This was in 2004. It’s 2019 now. Much has changed. Maybe she could have changed; I would have been maybe willing to accept that. But she’s literally proud of this. She is using it as a campaign point.

If Judy Ahrens wins this election, it will send the message to lgbt+ kids in our district and everywhere that voters don’t care about them or their safety. If Ahrens wins, it will send the message that bigotry is a viable way to run a campaign. If Ahrens wins, it will send the message that hate wins.

So please, join me in voting AGAINST Judy Ahrens.

Vote for Danny York, who is neither particularly qualified nor severely unqualified, but is infinitely better than the hateful, bigoted, religious-extremest Ahrens. Keep our district welcoming and accepting of diversity.

And don’t only vote. This matters. Tell everybody. Make noise. Write letters to the editor. Share this, on facebook. We can defeat evil, but only if we join and rise to face it. So join, and rise. Please.

Ballots must be received by May 21. Probably for the best to return it by the 19th or 20th at least.

0 notes