#this will be so funny

[machiavellli]

Sono ad un matrimonio circondata da spagnoli…

FORZA GEORGIA MAKE THOSE BITCHES SAD AHAJAHHAH

[1asbrightasthestars3]

BOOK PROMPT: a scientist that went mad because of the unanswered questions but their experiment is the dumbest shit ever. Hear me out;

Scientist: ...and now my grand experience will be complete!

Hero: why are you doing this?!

Scientist: so I can finally understand how they make 'my little pony', and you can't stop me!!

Hero: *laughs* huh? you serious?

Scientist: *deadpans* yes! Why are you laughing!

And you can't ever piss him off cuz although he's incredibly idiotic, he's also incredibly smart and powerful.

Villain: I'm going to rule over the world and you can't stop me!

Scientist: and you can't stop me from finding out what happened to Jim Hopper in stranger things!

Villain: oh dude, the forth season is out you know? Just watch it.

Scientist: you're telling me I just spent two years for nothing. *Laser blasts the roof*

Villain: damn man and I thought I was messed up.

DO YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN?? DO YOU SEE MY VISION

[ek300-theprototype]

I just bought the funniest thing, now I need a knife and a hot glue gun

[gcldfanged]

ㅤusually they've got a pretty good knack for identifying a good target to steal from — someone who's not likely to notice quick fingers dipping into their pockets, who'll remain oblivious until the thief is a block or two away — but every now and then they fuck up. this happens to be one of those instances. poor judgement has resulted in their wrist grabbed before they can scarper off with what they've managed to get their hands on, and byan freezes as a wave of panic washes over them. wide eyes dart to the man's face, but they otherwise maintain composure in spite of the fear that begins to build in their chest.

ㅤㅤ" just a joke, man. "ㅤit's a weak lie and they know it, but they don't have to talk their way out of this — just need to distract long enough until they can tear themself free one way or another. keeping eye contact, they flash a devious grin while their free hand discreetly moves toward their pants pocket, where one of their numerous knives lay hidden.ㅤ" chill. let me go an' you can keep your shit. "ㅤㅤ(feel free to lmk if you'd like something else sent! i just love the concept of byan being caught mid-theft & jae feels like the perfect candidate for that lmao)

[I LOVE IT, WHAT A LITTLE SCAMP-]

Maybe it's because there's a big crowd, maybe it's because there've been slim pickings for this street kid, or maybe it's the dumb reusable bag covered in anime kitty cats slung over Jae's elbow with green onions poking out of the top- whatever it is, his new acquaintance has made a terrible choice trying to sneak up on a man who kills people for a living.

The younger man is not without skill, he'd managed to keep hidden so it wasn't quite so obvious he'd been staking Yoon out in particular. But the follow through was enough to make him almost cry- Seriously, who had taught this kid to be a grifter?

"Sheesh, kids these days..." Jae-hyo sighs heavily, twisting Byan's arm just so- then he can't make a clean getaway without straining something or doing some impressive gymnastics.

"You gotta do something to lead the eye, fool! Bump into them, make a big scene apologizing and straightening them out afterwards, flirt with them, just make sure they're focused on your snot-nosed little face and not their wallet..." he trails off, making sure his own money is taken back and quite secure.

"And then shit like this won't happen."

'This' being Jae armed with a wicked looking balisong he'd plucked off of his unwilling student for the evening.

"Damn, this is actually a pretty nice piece... I'm keepin' it so maybe this lesson will stick up there in that dumb little baby brain of yours," he explains, flipping the knife closed and tap-tap-tapping his index finger against Byan's forehead.

[calocera]

my pet mold spore

[climbingthefloors]

obsessed with this baby hippo from thailand's khao khew zoo.. she has been so utterly betrayed by the world

[knifefightscene]

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Knowledge Revenge.

[noctude]

maybe i shouldn’t respond to wrong number texts any more

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[ladamania]

Twitter still producing bangers on occasion

[steveharrington]

redownloaded instagram and got sucked into reels and it’s truly like an alternate reality happening over there. video of a girl being like “looking back on my cringe 2021 taste….” and it’s a pic of her wearing like. jeans and a top. the top has a checkerboard pattern. she’s like screaming in agony. the comments are all like “omg not the microtrend 😭 i can’t believe i ever wore that” like woah. i think you guys are crazy

[cutiemisu]

ryoko kui: bet

[happylandfill23]

i've had this garfield panel saved forever and i even marked in my calendar today as "the monday that wouldn't die" so uh. happy(?) monday the 22nd aka the monday that wouldn't die

[sadclowncentral]

nearly had a medical emergency today because - and i cannot stress enough how little i am making this up - a helicopter landed in front of an open grain silo while i was getting off my ship and i am deathly allergic to the wheat that said helicopters rotor blades proceeded to blast in my face at full force. the cosmic forces are plotting against me ass situation to be in