#or give him a job

[gcldfanged]

ㅤusually they've got a pretty good knack for identifying a good target to steal from — someone who's not likely to notice quick fingers dipping into their pockets, who'll remain oblivious until the thief is a block or two away — but every now and then they fuck up. this happens to be one of those instances. poor judgement has resulted in their wrist grabbed before they can scarper off with what they've managed to get their hands on, and byan freezes as a wave of panic washes over them. wide eyes dart to the man's face, but they otherwise maintain composure in spite of the fear that begins to build in their chest.

ㅤㅤ" just a joke, man. "ㅤit's a weak lie and they know it, but they don't have to talk their way out of this — just need to distract long enough until they can tear themself free one way or another. keeping eye contact, they flash a devious grin while their free hand discreetly moves toward their pants pocket, where one of their numerous knives lay hidden.ㅤ" chill. let me go an' you can keep your shit. "ㅤㅤ(feel free to lmk if you'd like something else sent! i just love the concept of byan being caught mid-theft & jae feels like the perfect candidate for that lmao)

[I LOVE IT, WHAT A LITTLE SCAMP-]

Maybe it's because there's a big crowd, maybe it's because there've been slim pickings for this street kid, or maybe it's the dumb reusable bag covered in anime kitty cats slung over Jae's elbow with green onions poking out of the top- whatever it is, his new acquaintance has made a terrible choice trying to sneak up on a man who kills people for a living.

The younger man is not without skill, he'd managed to keep hidden so it wasn't quite so obvious he'd been staking Yoon out in particular. But the follow through was enough to make him almost cry- Seriously, who had taught this kid to be a grifter?

"Sheesh, kids these days..." Jae-hyo sighs heavily, twisting Byan's arm just so- then he can't make a clean getaway without straining something or doing some impressive gymnastics.

"You gotta do something to lead the eye, fool! Bump into them, make a big scene apologizing and straightening them out afterwards, flirt with them, just make sure they're focused on your snot-nosed little face and not their wallet..." he trails off, making sure his own money is taken back and quite secure.

"And then shit like this won't happen."

'This' being Jae armed with a wicked looking balisong he'd plucked off of his unwilling student for the evening.

"Damn, this is actually a pretty nice piece... I'm keepin' it so maybe this lesson will stick up there in that dumb little baby brain of yours," he explains, flipping the knife closed and tap-tap-tapping his index finger against Byan's forehead.

[swiggity-swexual-i-am-asexual]

We all know the semi-canonical ‘all the Robins know to hide/duck inside of Batman’s cape, even as adults’ thing.

We also know that Danny ‘is LITERALLY a ghost’ Fenton sucks at remembering his own intangibility while ALSO forgetting to look ahead of him.

All I’m saying is, Danny Fenton (or Phantom, if you’d really like) would absolutely SLAM into Batman on accident while running on roof tops and Bruce ‘Brooding Instinct’ Wayne doesn’t even think twice about letting the kid hide and scanning around for danger before there’s a record scratch of ‘wait who tf is this?’ kicks in.

[egophiliac]

YEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH

[laikabu]

coloring this with a phone on a moving van was hell but i had a vision. whatever. don’t look at me

[ikiprian]

Ghost Kitchen (brought to you by criminal entrepreneur, Red Hood)

Danny’s got the easiest job in Gotham.

He works as a fry cook at a shoddily-run, independent burger joint. Hardly anyone comes in, despite prices being criminally low, and portions insanely large, and while the manager looks like the average tough-as-nails ex-con, he lets Danny mess around in the kitchen whenever the place is empty. (Which is often. This place has to be the city’s hidden gem or something!)

Mr. Manager’s the only one ever there with Danny, except for sometimes when his buddies come over to smoke and play cards. Danny would find it shady, except part of his job is not to ask questions. Literally, he was told during the interview.

(It was a weird interview. Why would they need to hire someone who’s been in a gunfight before? Like, he has, but Gotham’s idea of “hirable qualities” is so bizarre.)

So instead he whips up some killer burgers with the frozen ingredients, and basks in the praise as the guys tell him he shouldn’t have, he does too much for this joint, ain’t that friendly!

Now, Danny’s a chef on the newer side. As a teen he’d preferred the look of Nasty Burger over anything with Michelin stars, and he only really took up cooking after Jazz moved out for college. But just like ecto-exposure used to turn the groceries sentient, Danny’s low-level ecto signature imbues all his food with something historically haunted Gothamites just love! And Danny’s never been one to half-ass a job when it makes people happy.

With fresher produce, real meat, Danny’s sure he can take his dishes to the next level. It takes a couple months of badgering, but his manager finally agrees to contact the mysterious store owner, who keeps the place going, despite profits Danny knows have to be in the red.

Danny spends the morning prepping. He pours his heart into his food, eager to impress. The big boss will be here soon, and he wants to prove that despite the dangerous location, this place has real potential!

It isn’t until the Red Hood shows up that Danny realizes he’s been working for a money laundering scheme.

[inkskinned]

"don't make it political!" .... what proportion of death and suffering must occur before politics are involved. if this isn't political, what is even the point of any politics, ever. of democracy. the words are "by the people for the people." if i am going to be left alone by my elected representatives to "figure it out" - to undergo damage, hardship, fear. what the fuck did i elect them for. what was their job. the entire point is that they handle this shit. this is why we were supposed to be electing leaders.

poverty is political. misogyny is political. gun control is political. climate change is political. how much aid a community gets is political. what the fuck are you talking about. it's been political this whole fucking time.

[geomimetry]

woe be upon ye

[noodles-and-tea]

Back at it with my enchanted merthur shenanigans

[wasabi-gumdrop]

Kabru has a secret admirer in the castle!

[rika-mortis]

Headcanon: Deep down they both want to be their fairy godparent/godkid again after losing them, but don't believe they deserve each other and feel like they aren't worthy to be their companion anymore

They both need counseling and therapy as a whole package

[pharmasrightarm]

separate ways

[searchingforserendipity25]

it's a good thing conclave didn't waste any time on making the stories about catholic orders and their in-fighting. and probably i shouldn't either because i am not informed enough about it to go on at length. pls take all of this w a grain of salt.

but i know in my heart of hearts that aldo bellini is a progressive liberal jesuit, the holy father's specialest most progressive liberal italian-american jesuit.

look at him. look at his glasses. those are the glasses of a man who did his dissertation on reinterpreting loyola through a contemporary reformist lens. academic wunderkid. has sooo much beef w the editors of american jesuit weekly. possibly the events of conclave are occurring in a better more beautiful world where aldo bellini is the editor of american jesuit weekly.

the late holy father for sure was a progressive jesuit also. vr pope francis coded. and low-key set him up as a successor. for a while, that seemed nearly a sure thing in some circles.

but there is the fact. well. the fact that everyone is tired, done and tired of jesuits, progressive or otherwise.

this among other factors meant he couldn't consider him the best option, besides whatever character judgement and uncanny machievallien prediction he came up with.

adeyemi has that benedictine swag which makes his potential election particularly seem like a breath of fresh air + reliable + lots of influence. tremblay is giving dominican drip and dominican corruption. and dominican flop. his nespresso machine? it's giving dominican also.

tedesco has to be an italian-founded order member. most hypocrital salesian of all times maybe?? this is unrelated to the fact that i was nearly enrolled in a salesian primary school and the weirdly panopticon-ish playground didn't pass the vibe check. and also because: consider tedesco rising in the ranks of an order created to help migrant workers...someone kick him in the head for me pls.

who even knows about benítez. i want to say franciscan but that might be just too on the nose. cistercian?? honestly it would work well if he is also without affiliation.

this lens does make lawrence's homily being interpreted as a campaign speech more understandable (and particularly funny).

because, as far as anyone can tell, he's fully running as an independent candidate. zero platform besides - if i fuck up i'll apologize and do better and be held accountable, which is more than any of you probably would.

and because he stands alone, he can be held accountable. he can belong to all, and not one faction only. as far as anyone can tell, he's burning bridges with bellini and rocking the statues quo.

he is speaking to/from a place of frustration with institutional inertia and factionalism, he is using his position as dean to bravely promote a platform for internal change in the curia, he is offering doubt as an alternative to certainty, he is pulling an absolute wildcard move.

pity he didn't mean it.

pity the the only order lawrence is interested in joining is the most hardcore discalced carmelite experience possible.

you know how some people look into luxurious real estate listings like it's porn? that's lawrence w tiny monasteries. the sort of minuscule organization with not enough people for management to be necessary. too small for politics. as close to erasure as you can get in this world: no need to be useful.

serving god by existing only to meditate on him. a narrow slant of a life, at that. barely taking up space, barely casting a shadow.

his favorite is a decrepit wreck of a place in the middle of southern spain, nowhere. no wifi no speaking aloud no possessions. no shoes no food. no nothing, only prayer. and a big big sky overhead.

maybe that will fix his issues with reaching god. if that doesn't work he'll probably just wander into the tabernas desert and become an hermit. works for some people, supposedly; plenty of order founders seem to believe so, anyway.

[lieutenantbiscute]

Funny fic idea where Thorin survives BOTFA but Bilbo has already left for the Shire so he sends dozens of ravens over the course of the next year and each one doesn’t get a response so he just

Decided to go to the Shire himself to get an answer so he can finally get a conclusion to everything but what’s this?

Bilbo never GOT any of the ravens. He’s been here wallowing in grief for the past year and what do you mean you’re alive and standing here and that I’m NOT hallucinating???

Turns out Hamfast has been dealing with a ‘crow’ problem around the Baggins garden for the better part of the year and he’s been shooing these birds off and only when asked does he tell Bilbo.

Poor guy was just doing his job

[gunstellations]

its sonics turn! 👅

[arrowheadedbitch]

New idea: Shinsou is supposed to be babysitting Eri but he has to do something so he leaves Denki in charge for a little bit, he comes back expecting the house to be burnt down but instead he finds Eri begging Kaminari to let her re-dirty up her room so they can clean it together again

[chloesimaginationthings]

your Jeremy seems like the kinda guy that, when he first sees scoop'd Michael, just goes "yooo sick dude!"

YOU GET IT… I’M GLAD y’all get and like Jeremy,,