#this will be a bit depressing tbh
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The Favourite (teaser)
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Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x brothel employee!reader
Warnings: angst, mommy issues, mentions of SA, smut, reader is a bit older than Aemond, emotions?
Long Synopsis: On his thirteenth nameday, Aegon brings his little brother to the brothel, thinking it’s time for Aemond to become a man. He pays more than he usually does his whores to have the best one, Madame Sylvi no less. She serves young Prince Aemond as a Prince deserves, showing her well-crafted skills. When she leaves the room, the young boy feels like retching on the floor.
He’s unaware that someone is watching, has been watching all along. Because Madame has bought another girl and she has no time to teach her all the tricks. So, she tells her to watch and learn through a peephole, special feature of all the brothels. And she watches, feeling her skin crawl, but she doesn’t stay there. She gets closer, unexpectedly closer, more than anyone has dared or cared enough to.
A week later, he returns to the brothel and asks for her. He will for all the times to come, while he grows into a man. And the whores and the customers begin to whisper, to question, to guess, because there’s only a curtain separating the Prince and the woman from the hall, but above the music they hear no moans, lewd cries or sounds of flesh against flesh coming from there.
Occasionally, they only see a glass of milk being brought in. Sometimes, they steal a furtive look inside and see the Prince lying in her lap, both of them sprawled on soft cushions, candles all around. Sometimes, she takes him to her private room upstairs, holding his hand as they walk through the crowd, all dazed and whispering. They call her The Favourite.
#ehehe#this will be a bit depressing tbh#aemond targaryen#aemond targaryen x reader#aemond targaryen fic#aemond x reader#aemond x you#aemond targaryen x female reader#aemond targaryen smut#aemond fic#liv(in la vida loca)#aemond x fem!reader#aemond targaryen x fem!reader#aemond smut
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finished commission for @/adamantiumdilf on twitter!
#art#commission#tiefling#artwork#illustration#drawing#digital art#artists on tumblr#oc#fantasy art#art commission#digital painting#dnd art#fantasy#actually think this was someones tav i was commissioned to draw :3#could be misremembering tho but i have had people commission me for that#ive also had commissions where someone used a dragon age screenshot i think?#which i personally love. very helpful tbh#anyways opening up commissions next week i think#:3#the depression is still here but im eating and sleeping properly and trying to take care of myself a bit better#anyways#ignore these tags lololol
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Zuko was a child when he met Agni. Then, the spirits started coming to him. Eyes hidden in the hallways, voices pleading for help, for recognition, for remembrance.
Zuko could see Agni. He could see the broken remains of a Great Spirit and the empty smiles of amnesiac ghosts.
And they could see him in return.
#atla#zuko#avatar the last airbender#atla fanart#atla art#atla fanfic#prince zuko#New Gods AU#zuko fanart#zuko art#lu ten#uncle iroh#Eventual ZK#zutara#zutara au#zutara fanfiction#zuko fanfic#agni#Spirit Touched! Zuko#Agni is a character in this don't yell at me#This was such a blast to write. I honestly love this AU so much and can't wait to see what you guys think of it#Bit of a warning tho#It's pretty heavy#Deals with depression and mental health issues and...stuff#Word of advice! The first chapter truly comes to life after a second read.#The cover is a panel from a comic I'm working on~#Which is the reason it took me so long to post this tbh. Wasn't sure if I wanted to tease The Perfect Prince or leave it as a surprise.#But here we are and there it is. So.#The Perfect Prince#Listen. Lu Ten is the most wholesome turtleduck ever and if anything happens to him I'll murder everyone in this fansite and then myself.
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I didn’t draw much this year and it was hard to find something from every month, but I managed to do it. Frankly I don’t think I improved at all, which sucks, but hopefully I will next year. I just need to study arcane screencaps
#myart#I will add the last 2 years in a reblog#but tbh. the comparison is a bit disheartening#I don’t like to be TOO self critical but it’s pretty hard not to notice#depression steal my life force and skills and talents and motivation
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Mspaint is really fun actually—
#castlevania#castlevania games#simon belmont#castlevania ii#castlevania simon’s quest#simon’s quest#castlevania ii: simon's quest#akumajo dracula#akumajou dracula#art post#my art#art wip#the colors are definitely a bit off in photos augh#eventually once it’s done I’ll be able to put the actual image tho#listened to a lot of malice mizer songs I hadn’t heard yet drawing this :3#I’ve been trying to actually get into visual kei properly cause I love how the genre sounds and have been listening to Gackt since forever#but I kept putting off doing it for some reason 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀#does anyone else get the thing where you go ‘oh yeah this band is so good’#and then listen to like maybe the same three songs over and over and over again (X X ;)#yeahg anyway Simon again yay :3#augh I really wanna actually work on comic ideas for him but aaaaaaa#another thing does anyone else like suddenly stop being able to do things like ok#I’ll want to do something and then get ready to do it and suddenly lose all energy and drive for it for no reason#and I still! want! to do it! augh!#but I’ll put my hand to paper and it’ll go limp like I’ve never held a pencil like bro come on don’t do this to me now 💀💀💀#I’ll be able to start some new mspaint painting totally fine tho (XwX)#I’m pretty positive I have something mentally wrong with me tbh high suspicion of autism maybe adhd could be depression who knows idk#ack anyway drawing the tragically beautiful 1600s vampire hunter about it
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#didn't have a big party for my 30th for reasons that were partly distance and partly insecurities/depression#this year being back closer to where my people are decided to do a big party instead this weekend#my first since my 21st (which was... a struggle for also distance related reasons and may have reinforced said insecurities)#i am having to remind myself. i am doing my best none of us get to practice this life#interrupting this to say i just mindlessly slapped at a tickle on my arm only to discover it was HUGE#not the sandflies we've been getting all day but a moth or something at least a cm big! (i grabbed it and threw it away without looking)#anyway. what was i saying. having a little moment where my insecurities are coming back in the middle of the night#and i wonder if i have - again - asked for less than i truly want because i didn't feel like anyone would give the full thing to me#but the point is: i asked for something i wanted and that's something that takes practice. and the point is: i get to try again next year a#d next year and next year. and the point is: we only live this life once but it is not a short life and there will be more chances#to celebrate with the people i love. to ask for what i want. to learn to listen to what i actually want before i make myself smaller out#of habit#but i DID ask for a party and i DID ask for someone who isn't me to host it (a thing i haven't asked for since probably my 21st tbh) and#that's already growth#and it will be fun! i'm a bit sad that no one from my most recent chapter of life can be there but it's no secret that social was hard ther#so i only have 3 friends i wanted to invite anyway and all of them live several hours away#(and one of them i knew couldn't come already when i planned it - she's at a hens party - but we talked about it and decided to go ahead)#idk. really it's ok. but part of why i'm doing this is as a challenge to my own insecurities (as well as because it will be fun!) and i#really pray this year will see some of those insecurities dwindling. that i will be able to really believe that i am lovable and loved.#that's my prayer.
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Sometimes I remember that when Mob was 3 Reigen was 17 and Reigen makes a lot more sense to me lol
#it’s easy to forget his age until you Are his age but he’s pretty young and acts it#(except when he’s around the kids then he tries to act older and responsible)#and also his specific brand of depression hits Hard with post graduate depression where you thought you would do things and ended up a cog#this is why I’m subscribed to he’s a big brother to mob but it’s a bit blurry in areas because he acts more fatherly to Teru or even Tome#(tbh it depends on ‘how supervised is this child’ to me)#(because I am pretty sure he knows mob’s parents at Least in passing- he would ask if mob’s parents knew he was coming to S&S lol)#mob psycho 100#misty rambles
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has anyone made an AMV of Sam Reid's Lestat set to "2econd 2ight 2eer" by Will Wood yet or do I have to do all the fucking work around here (I do not in fact make AMVs and I said that for comedic effect; if you like IWTV and make AMVs I highly recommend checking out that song.)
#my words#interview with the vampire#iwtv#sam reid#lestat#will wood#2econd 2ight 2eer#the normal album#and yes before you come for me I know the A in AMV means Anime#but I don't know what to call it when it's not anime#like those thirst edits people make of celebrities on tiktok#except not a thirst trap just like uh a compilation I guess#you know what I mean it's a fucking AMV#but look at these lyrics man the entire song is about being insane being extra and still putting on a show#with a bit of 'you would be crazy too if you had the life I have' thrown in for good measure#and like much of Will Wood's music the music itself is really high energy and the lyrics are existentially depressing#well in the context of the rest of the album they're depressing#tbh the song on its own is really just kind of a fever dream in the best way#tl;dr please listen to will wood
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I am once again begging Ed stans to understand that it's possible to love Ed and believe he deserves love AND also admit that he mistreated and tormented the crew during the Kraken era. Not only is this possible, this is the position the show wants you to have. You think Izzy deserved everything he got? Fine, whatever, forget about him for a minute. There's a whole crew in there you're supposed to empathise with and feel sympathy for, too. The six of them that Ed actively tried to kill or left for dead, for starters. Pay attention to the crew's experiences and reactions. They're shown to be traumatised, grieving, clinging to disassociation (Frenchie) and nihilism (Archie) as coping mechanisms and suffering from PTSD flashbacks. And, since this type of fans constantly go on about how it's racist to think Ed did anything wrong... what about the fact that a lot of the crew are PoC too? What then?
If you've watched the first 3 episodes of S2 and there was only one person on that ship you felt sorry for, then you're not a fan of OFMD, you're just a fan of Ed in isolation. And if the only way you can love Ed is by denying that he ever did anything wrong, then you're completely missing the point of the show. OFMD never said that people only deserve to be loved if they're morally perfect and flawless. The show doesn't subscribe to the dichotomy of Good vs Bad. Good people can do bad things. They can hurt the ones they love. Even if they didn't mean to, even if they themselves were suffering at the time, it doesn't mean they don't need to take responsibility for their actions or avoid the consequences. Stede didn't mean to hurt Mary and his kids when he left, but he still did. He had legitimate reasons for leaving, he didn't just do it for the lolz, but it was still wrong and Mary was right to be angry at him. And Stede needed to face up to this - not just for their sake but his too. Even though it turned out their lives were better off without him, reconciling with Mary was still crucial for his character development.
It was the same for Ed, it just didn't get handled quite as well due to lack of screentime, but the idea was the same. When Ed realises he'd been cruel to Fang and apologises, he isn't sinking into self-hatred and despair. Quite the contrary, this is a moment of growth for him. Because the fact is, just because you as a human being are inherently worthy of love doesn't mean you can go around hurting everyone and expecting them to put up with you. That's just not how it works. You don't need to be perfect, but you do need to listen to people when they tell you that you hurt them and apologise genuinely and try to be better. The show is very sympathetic to Ed but it does NOT excuse his actions. The crew aren't portrayed as villains or antagonists for being scared and angry at Ed for what he did to them. Even Stede was on their side with this one. If even Stede is able to see things from the crew's POV and have sympathy for them, then you should too. Stede doesn't love Ed because he sees Ed as a pure uwu angel. He loves Ed... because he just does. He loves being around him. They really click together. They have so much in common. That doesn't mean he approves of literally everything Ed has ever done. It just means he loves Ed despite that.
#another day of me being incapable of writing a Tumblr post without turning it into a novel#but I just saw another post from that one account and ugh#there's just something so depressing about this type of fans because they really miss the point of the show so badly#they honestly think that redemption isn't possible#that you can never get better as a person#that if you do something bad then you're condemned to be an Evil Person forever#which is a complete antithesis to the heart of the show#Ed is such a beautifully complex character#tbh I still think S2 did him a bit dirty due to the lack of screentime#but still#no wonder the Venn diagram of this type of Ed stans and Izzy antis is a circle#if they don't believe characters can change or be rendered than ofc they were never going to forgive Izzy or recognise his growth either#ofmd fandom critical#canon Ed appreciation post#crew of the revenge#ofmd#our flag means death
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So, I started working at a sheltered workplace on Monday and although I'm soooo exhausted, I'm actually enjoying it too. I feel like more of a normal person now. Get up early in the morning. Go to work. Have breaks. Wish everyone a Schönen Feierabend™️. Go home. Go grocery shopping. Chill until it's time to go to bed. Have a real weekend. Nice.
#personal posts#i immediately feel more useful#also my support worker mothered me today lmao because i'm in a depression hole#when i told her i haven't been eating healthy she went grocery shopping with me#then helped me water my plants and gave me some tasks to do so that my room is less of a mess#she also wants to go to the PIA with me so that I can get a higher dose of my antidepressants for winter#she really is like a mom#well#definitely more of a mom than my mom has ever been so stings a bit#but honestly she is so lovely#she's a tough like kind of person and told me that she will kick my butt to get me back on track and tbh i need that
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I started re-watching Stargate SG1 and I'm on the 1st episode (well 1&2 technically) and as soon as I started my grandma started watching too ??????
Like it might not seem that weird but she only likes historical romances (at most she'll accept a soap opera) and thinks everything else is stupid.
She can't hear what's going on bc she's mostly deaf.
Also I downloaded it from your basic downloading website so it's in English which she does not speak.
The 1st episode is 1h32 minutes long and we're at about 1h10 I think. She's barely blinked. It seems to be riveting to her.
It's been very distracting.
#Stargate#Stargate SG1#But also bby Sam Carter and bby Teal'c#O'Neil with no white hair#Daniel Jackson who's..... Not particularly different tbh. His hair is just a bit floofier#Probably the lack of depression and dying habit
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i would really appreciate it if i didn't have a brain that thought torturing me was a helpful response to being scared of us. im your copilot stop fucking tazing me you dick
#good fucking god. im going to crawl out of bed now that was all so pointless#what they never tell you about mental illness is what a massive waste of your time it is. jfc you stupid asshole#i hate you intrusive thoughts i hate you i hate you i hate you. die.#all the rest of it too tbh but those in particular. haunted by the knowledge that i will never be able to fight my limbic system or whateve#like brass knuckle fucking bike chain with the lock on bat with nails in it etc. absolutely sick of that guy idc how sympathetic he is#that motherfucker needs to pay for what he's done to me and im not joking even a little bit#ugh im going to go distract myself with something stupid now. whatever#edit im adding in some of the good things that happened today bc it was actually good and i feel better now :v#we got our first proper snow of the season so i got to go walk around in that. twas beautiful and my dogs were very cute#the last couple of times it snowed here i was too depressed/burnt out/whatever to like. go have fun in it#and it's our first snow w hoagie obviously (and maybe his first snow bc he's like. 1 y/o)#im still on break and ive been vaguely if not very un-vaguely tormented by the prospect of registering for classes#even though i think they start in like. 2 days.#combined w the need to do like. a comedically large amount of dishes. like nothing to eat on for days bc of my ass amounts#am i registered for classes? no. but im working on the unforseen obstacle in question and i feel better bc of that#waiting on an email feels a lot comfier than sitting on smth very urgent without knowing its exact deadline (<- too scared to look) unable#to bring yourself to do it yknow? and the dishes got done. small miracles#like today was good my brain just ambushed me again
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