#this week on: do my friends really hate me or am i just tired and need my alone time
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#been sitting here for 1.5 hours now trying to decide if i should go see my friend as promised#or not. basically i texted earlier like heyy sorry can we do tomorrow im all over the place (mentally extra unstable*) i don't wanna#make you deal with that#but she said she might not be able to do tomorrow and she's told me she hates when ppl cancel bc so many ppl have been#cancelling on her and yk. feels bad. so i really should go but im also just. ???#idk what it was but today is just so not it ive been crying a bunch and barely working and i v much needed#my noise cancelling headphones on the train and then i just kept them on for 1#and then i just kept them on when i got home and ive just been on my bed scrolling and trying to decide dhsjsjdjd#yes i was supposed to work 8 hours today 💀💀💀#so that's the other part like if i go see my friend i know tomorrow will probably be rougher and i also need to work then yk#ugh anyways i should go we can just chill im sure#* headphone context for myself bc im just like 🤨🤨 am i just kinda sad and tired today or do i really need to rest#anyways. Thoughts? dhsjjdjdjd#other context is that my friend rly isn't doing good at all and i haven't seen her in a week and it's been#even longer since we could talk 1 on 1#like 2 weeks rip#maybe i just need food tbh ive mostly had sugary stuff today rip
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(venting in the tags ignore this lol)
#minhmy.rambles#(i just need to shout this somewhere where my friends don't see so they don't worry too much about me)#but oh my god work just got worse for this week im already working every day but tomorrow (aka in six and a half hours)#i will start at 5am and end at 9pm aka a double shift bc my coworker tested positive and there's no one else that can work#just for tomorrow but the rest of the week ill be working 1-9#which i hate even though im used to it night shifts are just boringgggg and takes up a lot of my time#which i already have so little of#my mom said i should clean my closet and i was going to tomorrow bc i wanted to play grandfest today but now i cant do that#bc ill literally be at work all day lol#and god its just so hard its so so hard but it could be worse. it literally could be worse#i cant be here as much anymore bc im so busy and tired i just draw when i can and drop them all here and leave#and i miss writing a lot but i have even less time and even less motivation and the more i work the more awful i feel#and i don't want to worry anyone like . i just don't#but its so difficult for me it really is#theres so many things i want to do but i cant do any of it and im so tired im literally so tired#like im not gonna end my life kinda tired i have a lot to look forward to. but work just really sucks and i am Tired#and i Like my job its literally the easiest and ill never have something like this again#but urghghghh. urggfhhghgh. death pain and suffering#if i draw more sif and loop suffering lol. this is why. i need to get the emotions out somehow and i don't want to cry over it#i cant cry bc i need to work i just have to keep my head up i just have to keep at it i just have to be strong and not break#i can do it i can.. i know i can i've been through worse#its just. augh.#ok done. sorry i rly rly should sleep soon bc of my 16 hour shift tmrw lol its past 10:30pm already
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Why do I feel so immature compared to literally everyone I interact with. Why does everyone treat me like I am some naive baby that needs to be protected. Why does everyone act like I am incapable of putting myself out there to get things done.
#is it the way I dress? is it because I have different experiences than a lot of other people?#is it my hobbies? is it the way I talk? the way I carry myself?#my mannerisms?#I really hate it whatever it is#sometimes I wonder if it's something I am doing on purpose subconsciously to like protect myself from criticism#but I honestly hate it. I do not enjoy feeling like a baby#I do not enjoy being treated like a baby#this isn't really about anything in particular.. just some things that were said/done tonight and the way I was feeling with some people#and the way I've been feeling in grad school for the past couple weeks and some things that have been said over those weeks#and things people have said and done at my previous job#and things my family has been saying and doing recently but also other things they have done for years before this#and things people at church and camp used to say and do and the way they treated me#and even sometimes the way friends will treat me or talk to me or react to things I say or do#I am just tired of it. why am I infantilized like this. why do I feel it so much in my head too#I am an adult. I want to feel like an adult. I want to be treated as such#I am just frustrated#I am not stupid. I am not incapable. I am not naive. I am working very hard to not be such a pushover and address my anxiety#I am working to be better about self-advocacy and assertiveness and such#but its like all anyone else sees is a quiet helpless stupid child#is this a neurodivergent thing. is this like a 'oh you are so smart but you dont understand anything in the world at all' sort of situation#is it a white christian woman image thing? like a white woman tears thing? do people do this because I am emotionally manipulating them?#do I look like a small wet animal with the saddest eyes imaginable to other people?#I dont know. it bothers me a lot. I think about this so fucking frequently. I wish it would stop
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#alright these tags are super embarrassing but i needed to rant publicly so uh. you can read this but please don't perceive me too much#it is so fucking exhausting having nobody to share my life with#i have literally zero friends at this point bc ever since my grandpa died i've pretty much stopped trying to keep in touch with my hometown#friends and i cut off my 'friend' group that were racist assholes who treated me like a doormat back in october and haven't really made any#close friends at college since. and i just fucking hate that this is the same way i've felt for so many fucking years like you'd think it#would be bearable at this point and i'd be used to being alone and for a while i honestly was but it just hit me tonight how fucking lonely#i am and how tomorrow i have to keep on just doing the shit i have to do in life without anyone to talk to and share it with#other than my mom who's been pissing me off lately so i've been pushing her away too!#it's so tiring to have to go out and do things and have responsibilities everyday and not being able to share that with anyone idk it makes#it feel almost like i'm carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders which is SO dramatic i know#like today i wanted to talk about the stupid false alarm gas leak thing with my sort of friends in this club i'm in but i didn't get to talk#to anyone at the meeting bc everyone was just talking amongst themselves in their little groups of best friends and it just reminded me that#i don't have that and i've never fucking had that i've only ever pretended i had that#it's like all these years i've been pretending to be a person that has friends and knows how to live life normally but i never have#more than anything i just miss my friends from home bc they're the closest i've ever felt to having friends that are like family but. i#don't know how to talk to them anymore. i didn't tell any of them when my grandpa died and i think they just assumed that i've moved on so#they've probably moved on and i already know that they have their own lives and friends at their schools that are a lot more full than mine#wanna know the worst part about all of this? i just had therapy and basically told her everything's fine#and i won't meet with her again until 3 weeks from now so literally the only person i can talk to about this right now is my mom#which i am absolutely not gonna do bc she's gonna get so scared and worried for me and i can't have that rn#anyways yeah. this isn't even that big of a deal like i haven't had friends for at least the past 6 months it's not like anything's changed#i just feel extra sad about it right now. i need a distraction stat gonna go watch watch some tv goodnight#shut up hanna
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found out that rascal's owner took him again while i was out, and he's probably not gonna be back since the semester's almost over. i don't even know if his owner's coming back next semester, if i'll ever see him again. if he'll ever see me again. why do they wait until im not around to do this? why do they never let me say goodbye to him?
#i didnt really get to process it bc i found out when i was hanging w a friend but. im processing it now#sigh.. i dont know. i dont know.#at the end of the day he is and has always been someone else's cat. i can't control what she does with him#no matter what i think of it. she can always take him away. but every time it happens im just. im tired yknow?#it's worth it to me to have him around. i love him dearly and i want him to be in a home where he's actually cared for (which i have done my#best to provide) but he's just. not mine. and every time it happens i back up and think man. im such a sucker.#i don't think people manipulate me often. not in an ongoing way i mean. i don't think ppl see me as valuable enough to most of the time.#but damn. she really found my weak spots didn't she. free petcare courtesy of one chump who can't live without animals around. sigh#he deserves stability but he deserves love more. this weird shared custody thing is better for him i think. and frankly i also love him.#im not the priority here but my feelings are like. there. him being taken away without even telling me first hurts. i'd like to be able to#say goodbye to him. im not saying he has to stay or this has to go on but couldn't they just.. consider my feelings a bit more?#just bc you're fine with dropping your cat off somewhere for weeks not knowing when you'll see him again and not visiting doesn't mean i am#and i kind of feel like my roommate is part of this. after all it's not like his owner can just break into our room and take him#and if im always out when they do it there's a chance roomie's just shipping him off whenever she gets sick of him.#she's done it before. even after she agreed so vehemently with me about never wanting him to go back to such treatment and stuff early on.#she's been spraying him for little reason lately too. and i mean i get being a little more cautious with some things bc her neck's broken#but she's really fixated on how much he smells and bites and stuff and talks about how if i wasn't around she'd consider eating him#and then other times she's like that's my pookie. i don't get it. like yeah i tell rascal to fuck off sometimes bc he hurts me but it's not#like a hateful thing. i dont resent him for it i'm just annoyed sometimes bc he's maiming me a little. he's my baby. how could i loathe him?#so it makes me think that roomie might be blaming his transfers on his owner bc she doesn't want me to judge her#and like. this is her room too. it's not her fault she's more bothered by the smell than me. if she doesn't want to be bitten and clawed all#the time i can sympathize. i don't wanna force her to house him. but i wish she'd just be honest with me i guess#like. what if his owner decides to give him away without telling me? i'd take him in in a heartbeat. even though i know it's a bad idea.#but i'm worried he'll fall out of my reach completely. and at the very least I'd like to be able to say goodbye first. that's all.
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...
#it's so weird trying to describe yourself when u really aren't something u used to be#like until i was probably 21 or so id say i was shy. very very shy. but now im like was that even true? was i ever shy bc im not now#maybe i was just quiet and anxious. maybe thats just what being shy is. but im still both of those things but im not shy#im sorta like a hermit. i dont really go around ppl if i can avoid it but i dont hate being around ppl. its just that im less anxious when#im alone. but if u put me around ppl i like to talk to them so im not shy. ill say whatever. i dont really give a fuck#but if u throw me in a group i go back to being a non entity. i guess thats just being an introvert with an asocial streak#thats a thing i noticed while i was at the grad weekend i attended in march. the group would gather and do things while i kinda just#wandered away from them to poke at trees and sit in the snow. i dunno i just feel better away from ppl. my brain gets a lot louder if ive#been too social. which is a shame bc its interesting to watch ppl and understand how thry work#my friend came over to day goodbye before i leave next week. which was nice. i wish we would have hung out more in person but so it goes#and i think in my head im a lot more contained thst i actually am. like if u set me a task that becomes my focus but im also sorta all over#the place. partly bc i think my brain works on like a lag. and also my mood is a little elevated rn so im sorta like *jazz hands* and#talking too fast and too much and oversharing. yesterday i was instrucing an undergrad and felt so bad bc my brain was all over the place.#could not b made linear. im tired now tho bc theres nothing more draining than being emotionally honest and talking for like 2hrs. woof. it#so hot. like fucking so hot bc the monsoons have started and humidity is up so my swamp cooler is fucked and its gotta b at least 80 degree#inside my apartment. holy christ. and the temp has been over 100 degrees for like at least 2 weeks. its so hot its kinda alarming. and im#glad my friend was also freaked out by how hot its been bc oh god its hot. and i cant focus. ive done fuck all today. but i did get rid of#couch which is so so so great. ugh. someone make the sun stop making it so hot#unrelated#its been over 100 degrees outside for like 2 weeks. not on my apartment#and when i say i wish i spent more time with my friend irl. i mean it in a distant sort of way. like thats how im supposed to feel. like i#dont kno if thats actually what i feel or i kno im supposed to b social but idk if i actually mean it
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Sick of being tired sad and overwhelmed all the time 😔
#max rambles a lot#it's this house man#i fucking hate it here#i am so over living here and i'm mad because i've been forced into tying up a good chunk of my money in xmas at this point#which means if by some tiny miracle i get to move out before xmas i won't be going nc until the new year#because i'll be damned if i'm paying for these assholes to have a nice xmas without me like fuck that#anyway yeah i'm so overstimulated lately that i want to just rip my face of all the time#had to cancel my tattoo appt because i am WAY to anxious to leave the house and it's made me really sad#also not to be one of Those people but this Matthew Perry news has really depressed me and i'm feeling it really bad#i'm so sad about it i keep bursting into tears with no warning over it#i feel like a fucking loser for doing so#but yeah i'm tired and sad and overwhelmed i miss all my friends being in the same place i miss feeling like i'm in charge of my own brain#sick of sleeping on the floor and being surrounded by clutter and not even being able to take a shit in peace#clinging to the tiniest little things to stop me absolutely losing my mind#a birthday party next week is currently next up but idk what's coming after that so 🤡🤡🤡
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gonna be blunt - didnt get my raise+backpay this paycheck so yall are gonna have to put up with me probably needing to shill my c-mm's more this month i'm sorry
#personal#i'm only sorry cos i hate spamming that i need help lmao i hate my friends having to see that i need help all the time lmaooo#i'm actually really really upset right now i feel like a caged fucking animal who just got teased by people i cant reach to bite#I HAVE BEEN WAITING SINCE JANUARY. IM SO TIRED OF BEING POLITE BECAUSE IM SCARED OF LOSING MY JOB#i didnt even make 200$ on this check and they gave me 10hrs this week like... like what the fuck am i supposed to do
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zzz
#kinda weird for me... right now times...#mm... idk#i have no friends... no job... no partner...#so these days i wake up at 2 pm eat smth small and then go back to sleep (which means i'm in bed watching mark) until 10-11 pm and then go#down and drink some tea maybe eat smth if anyone asks why i haven't eaten and then go back to bed and fall asleep at around 6 am and#rinse repeat...#and it's really noticeable bc my sister talks to her friends at least 3/4 times a week and she has a whole schedule of who she's playing#games with on what day... and my mom and dad are super involved with their temple activities#my mom keeps asking why i'm in my room so much but i don't . have anything that ties me to this world does that makes sense idk#i just don't have anything...#that's why i'm giffing again lol#i thought it would make me feel better#didn't really do anything i guess#i'm tired heh... 😞#kinda weird that i don't have anyone or anything left#it's always been like this but#anyway... once again another reason to hate the summer#also not to mention my bday will eventually come around soon enough and#i hate my bday more than i hate myself so lol#anyway... it's just been on my mind... i wanna sleep a lot these days and that's ok i guess...#im tired ah...#dl#li.txt
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#i was really busy all week#and my friends (!) made it worse#lately spending time with them is so tiring and i just don’t know what to do#if i didn’t have my close friends i would go crazy probably#they always ask me where am i why am i doing this in a rude way#they talk bad about my friend and when i say i don’t agree one of them gets so angry she is insane#when i want to study today she said dontttt 🥺 why are you studying why why why#it’s not like we are little kids#ALSO I GET SO ANGRY WHEN SHE SAYS DON’T TRUST THIS PERSON#you don’t know anything 🥺 it’s becoming so annoying#i’m not her child#plus she is so rude#also i’m sorry but they are so negative about everything#i really tried to understand them and wanted to do what i could#but no#they don’t want to feel happy#just hating#i talked too much bdjdjkxxh#but i feel so sad and i have headaches since yesterday :(
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i can’t believe i managed to get fucking mono and didn’t even get it by doing anything fun
#mono glandular fever whatever the people who will see the joke will call it mono and it’s less clinical sounding#I need to shout about a lot of stuff now and if you do not know a bunch about what’s been happening already this will not make any sense#I’m just fucking. so [static] about how this term has gone bc this isn’t how it was meant to go#this year was meant to be good! it was going well enough already! I was genuinely happy and would’ve recovered from the bumps!#and it’s my last year in this fucking place and a good chunk of that time is just Gone now. eaten by this bullshit#I had so many plans! and I was actually doing them! and that’s collapsed now!#just on the kind of basic level there I was gonna do dnd and while we might get a few sessions Nobody least of all me#will have time to do much. and I was gonna try to do Some Kind Of Exercise I don’t know why the phrase work out sounds bad but that and like#didn’t happen! and now I have mono :) and I can’t even do ice hockey anymore#worst part abt that is that I didn’t and wouldn’t have noticed that I’ve been so much more tired than normal for the past month if it werent#for the fucking throat swelling#but like! I’m going home in two weeks bc I can’t stand being here any more than I absolutely have to now and I hate that! I want to be here!#I want to get back to my fucking life but that just Isn’t Happening now because of all this bullshit#and everything bar the mono has been stupid and preventable but I’m also pretty sure I Got the mono bc I was so stressed + run down already#I need things to be normal again when I come back in January but I don’t know how much it will ever be normal again in this flat#and on top of that I am So Behind on work. I can’t tell how much I should have done but I’m barely working. I’ve probably done no more than#like 10-15 hours a week? for the past three weeks and that’s honestly optimistic because it’s so hard to even get out of fucking bed#I wanna see my fucking friends but I haven’t been and the last time I saw someone was turning down a guy who surprise: Still Into Me#I was gonna do shit this weekend but then storm and being plagued so not wanting to go out in the storm#and this weekend was nice I had some time to myself which I haven’t had in ages but. I think I just miss everything really bad#I need to cook and it’s getting late and before I can cook I need to do a bunch of cleaning I’ve been putting off and I can’t Not do either#tonight I need to do both bc I don’t have food left and I literally can’t cook until I clean so I should go do that now#I’m terrified I’m losing something I can’t get back and will be later making decisions based on short term bullshit that fucked it all up#I’m gonna go clean while I still have something left in me#luke.txt
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#vent again just ignore please and thank you. chewing at my arm. ik why we have to wait till next year for me to get help i do know why and#i understand but it also just sucks. its at least helping though no matter what i just gotta hold on but i rly dont want to hold on anymore#id say i sound pathetic or worthless but im not. ik im not. talked about mental health with my best friend today snd idk made me so self#aware of myself i feel gross and ugly. i cant even look in mirror by how ugly i am. i want to drink. i really want to drink. it sucks.#ditched or the person seems bored.. there's no point lmai.#the craving sucks. im sleepin almost all day and than night fucking sucks. i should be sleeping now but i need to write my thoughts out or#i will feel worse i will feel so much worse snd i dont want to be a burden. i dont want to bother people. i hope when im like.. getting hel#and getting better i hope i can like idk not be afraid to ask people to vibe with me. maybe one day but im so scared amount i have been#and sorry tired of hearing same 'just do something distract yourself' yeah only so much a distraction is s distraction. i never felt this#low.. i never felt this low for months now. im so tired idk this week is busy maybe that will help. maybe decorating for my fav holiday wil#help my brain a little. than again why would she want me around. i think about how dad asked mom if i was okay on my birthday. is the facad#fading? are people catching on? i need to stop before i see my brother on friday. even my best friend noticed he hugged me but i didnt even#hug back i just leaned into him for awhile before moving away. i want to die. will i? no. i wont. im too scared. but i want to.#i can sleep now.#i think people should stop lying i hate liars i am not afraid to drop anyone that does.
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:^T
#havent felt this kms in a while !!!#hate pmsing bc it absolutely destroys my mood bht goddddddd i cant see a reason to do this anymode#so fucking tired#i wish i had friends !!!!!! like literally ajyone i could see !!!!!#i havent seen anyone in a social context in weeks !!! its just work w my sad fucking team that doesnt even get to see each ofther#and then home w my brkthers who are constantly trying to kill each other !!!#i havent even seen my cousins lol !!!! 2 cousins came up from toronto but theyre all hanging out without me !!#didnt even give me a courtesy invite or anything !!!!!!#like am i really that undesireable to have around ? nobody thinks of me or talks to me unless they need something !#i should just kms fr lol#being alive is so annoying i wish i was dead 👍🏼#disclaimer: i wont actually kms bc im a coward and i have responsibilities but gooooooodddddd i wish#gommywords
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Uni actually makes me so irritable it's insane
#like if im at home or out with friends or whatever im fine#but if im doing anything related to uni or im on campus ANYTHING and EVERYTHING will piss me of#im so annoyed all the time and i hate it#im like i need to either kill someone or myself#and no one even cares#you could be like i am overwhelmed and annoyed rn and no one will even care about what you say#you could say im really tired and want to go home and then people will ask you to do more things and stay later#like!!!!!!! maybe i want to go home and fucking REST and CRY but nooooooooo i have to stay and help#i complain about my sleep schedule being off and not being able to wake up in time for my morning class#so lets ask kath to stay on campus until like 10pm multiple nights a week#no one fucking cares what i think or feel i guess 🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪#actually most of this is just my bf because we work together the most/closest on some things#people expect so much of me and i CANNOT keep up its absurd#like other people do more but i am AT MY LIMIT#and the thing that pisses me off the most is that my bf KNOWS this he probably just doesnt think about it because he needs me for the things#he needs/wants to do#i need to talk to him about that because basically when hes in work mode he just thinks of all his teammates as like extentions of himself#so if he needs something done so that he can do his part he will act and EXPECT the person to do THAT thing IMMEDIATELY#so that he can move on and its like bro.............. other people have lives......... and things to do..............#our priorities might not be the same..............................#but if he wants it done RIGHT NOW then thats on you to do it or else he gets disappointed and upset because he wanted to get something done#like maybe i need to get something else done first#god im so pissed rn
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We Found Love
charles leclerc x female reader (smau) 1/2
summary: you and charles were meant to be together even if the media, society and his girlfriend criticized you.
trope: childhood friends to lovers, ferrari driver x head strategist , mean gf (no hate to any of charles' gf's, ex or current.)
a/n: i know i know im the worst updater and writer ever (I'm sorry okay 😭 I'm busy and I lose motivation lol)but im back slowly but surely, and this is so new! My first F1 fic aahh :D This is very small, I just needed to get this out (monza took my heart away!) hope y'all like it hehe xx.
Months before MONZA
ursernames
life lately - enjoying the break before it's Monza ❤️🔥🌷🌺🌠🪽🥨🍽️🪡⌨️👠💎
iked by charles_leclerc,mlnmarta, and 1M others
lewishamilton looks like someone had fun!
⤷ ursernames obviously mate 🧉!!
charles_leclerc wannabe artistic ass 😘😻🤡
⤷ ursernames shut up donkey 🐴🫏😊
kikagomez 💫💗
liked by author
@Ynniequeenn
I'm surprised Charles isn't spending the vacay with her. Sounds fishy but they still act close 😕. I don't know man.
⤷ @chrshls: people like you suck! get a life.
charles_leclerc
everything is good 🩵
liked by alexandrasaintmleux, landonorris, ursername and 4M others
joristrouche amazing!
ursernames leooo awwww
liked by author
pierregasly simba and leo meetup soon? 😂
⤷ charles_leclerc soon!
alexandrasaintmleux amores <3
liked by author
ursernames
thank you for the wishes everyone, just took another lap around the earth 🌍 🌷🌺🩵
liked by charles_leclerc, carlossainz and 5M others.
formula_1 happy birthday to the best-ever strategist!
liked by author
scuderiaferrari buon compleanno stargirl!
⤷ ursernames grazie mille!
charles_leclerc joyeux anniversaire ma meilleure fille
liked by author
mlnmarta joyeux anniversaire ma soeur
⤷ usernames 💞💞
oscarpiastri have a great day old lady 🥳
⤷ ursername when i catch you oscar when i bloody catch you! 😵😵
f1wags&insiders
BREAKING 🚨 Charles Leclerc and Alexandra Saint Mluex were fighting at a party! Apparently, it was the same birthday party held for Y/N's 27th birthday. What are your thoughts 💭?
liked by 40K others
alexfp i just can't stand this anymore! It's clear that something's up with charles 😐
leclecice bro, alex is straight up toxic just admit it she is NOT a paddock queen neither the IT wag ughh 🥱🥱
lestappenfpp time for charles WDC lesgoo
ynstan will charles and yn ever date? they have that CHEMISTRY yk
malenalexx it's definitely something to do with charles
⤷ unknownchaaa smartest alex fan..
ynstrategyss literally how crazy can Alex even get until they fuck up yns birthday party?! seriously i lost my respect for her.
alexandrasaintmluex
🌺🌺 floral vibes 🌺🌺
liked by joristrouche and 100K others
alexfp omg our queen 👑!!
foralexa hi alexx i hope you're doing well ❤️🩹 you look gorgeous btw 🤩
liked by author
kikagomez 💫😵⭐
rebeccadonaldson literally so pretty 🌺🌺
⤷ alexandrasaintmluex says the prettiest!
charlesfanpage charles not in the likes? sus.
leclecicecreammm someone's tryna churn content asap b4 the breakup LOLL
⤷ alexandrasaintmluex you're hilarious. 🥱
ynstrategyss hope y'all okay...
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
2 weeks before Monza, at the Ferrari HQ
"Hey, can we talk, please?" Charles asked Yn as the meeting begun to wrap up.
"What do you want, Charles? Does making me look like a fool on my birthday not enough?!" You said very honestly.
"No,no, mon cher, listen to me."
"I'm sorry for whatever Alex caused during your birthday party. I wanted the party to be nice and surrounded by your close friend's and family. I'm regretful I chose to bring Alex as a tag along. She wanted to go and I can't say no anyways."
"What's your point, Charles? I'm tired of this drama. I am." You said,
"Yn, we've been friends since so young, we spent almost every day with eachother, basically inseparable. Maman practically consideres you her the daughter she never had and you're really close to my family and brothers. Even with my exes you had a close bond with them."
"Mhm, that's right I loved your exes." You said slightly smiling,
"Ever since I dated Alex, she.... she liked fame and attention. Even if she didn't show it much. And when she saw us being close and basically just friends, she got mad and jealous. I didn't realise much until you told me when she confronted you."
"She reads a lot of the news, tweets and those tiktok edits of us that is all over social media. She is influenced by them. And I honestly don't get how they consider our bond romantic but not platonic."
"Alex has been fighting a lot with me past few months. We are not close, anymore. Not liked we used to be. She's constantly screaming and I can't stand her anymore."
"Mon ange, whatever happens with you and her, please... just tell me. I saw the texts she sent you and it wasn't pleasant. Why have you been keeping this a secret. Please ange, don't do it anymore."
"I don't know how longer I can sustain this relationship if it continues to be as toxic as this." Charles said earning a pout from you.
" Charlie, I wanted to see you happy with Alex. I'm sorry about what's been happening at home. I'm sorry too.." you said,
" Are we good?"
"Yeah we are, Charlie" you said, earning a tight hug from you best friend.
It's undeniable that you've always liked Charles. He was handsome, he was everything a women could've dreamt of. And obviously you're one of them. You'd never had the chance to confess and you think you'd never will. It's better to blossom a good, sustainable friendship rather than risking it all for a relationship. Your a simple person, you're critical and realistic.
When Alex confronted you about your relationship with Charles, it hit you till the pit of your heart. You begun thinking if you were too clingy or romantic with Charles. You begun distancing yourself from him thinking you were at fault. You did not want to be a homewrecker,ever.
Although Charles confrontation settled a little of your thoughts, you cannot deny the growing feelings for Charles in that heart of yours.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
charles_leclerc
P4. Deluso ma abbiamo dato tutto. Grazie a tutti voi per esserci sempre. E domani, andiamoooooo 😍
liked by carlossainz,oscarpiastri, ursername and 3M others
ursername let's get it ✨✨
speedingcharles we counting on u buddy
anthoinetrouchet let's get it ittttttttt aaa
alexandrasaintmluex 💕
ursername
story, 1hr ago
feels great to back in monza! hoping to make tifosi's proud this weekend 🇮🇹 Let's see what we can do with a P4 and P5.
RACE DAY IN MONZA.
⭐⭐⭐
@F1LiveUpdates:
"Lights out at Monza! Charles Leclerc is in the fight for P1, but all eyes are on Ferrari’s strategy today. Y/N calling the shots 👀 #Monza #CharlesLeclerc #Ferrari"
@LeclercFans:
"Y/N on the pit wall, looking like a boss. Monza is hers to win 🔥 #YN #FerrariFam"
Your heart raced as you watched the battle unfold in front of your eyes. Charles was in second, fighting tooth and nail to close the gap on the leader. Your freshly manicured nails hovered over the radio button, ready to call the next move.
The crowd roared in the background, but your focus was razor-sharp. Charles trusted your instincts, and you wasn’t about to let him down.
Y/N (over radio):
"Box, box. Let’s go for the undercut."
Charles
"Copy. Trusting you on this."
The team jumped into action as Charles pitted. Y/N watched with bated breath, hoping the strategy would pay off.
As Charles emerged from the pits, your hands clenched into a fist. The timing was perfect. They had nailed it. It will take time to pass through lando but it'll be worth it. And you knew it.
Y/N (over radio):
"P1. 35 laps ahead. Now hold it. You’ve got this."
The crowd was deafening as the final lap approached. You stood with her arms crossed, staring at the screens, barely blinking. Charles had a three-second lead, but the pressure was immense. Your heart pounded in time with the roar of the engines.
Y/N (over radio):
"Last lap, Charles. Bring it home."
You held her breath as the checkered flag waved and the roar from the grandstands signaled what you'd hoped for.
Charles (over radio):
"We did it! P1! We won, Y/N!"
Bryan (over radio)
"AND P1!"
@F1Live:
"Leclerc takes P1 at Monza! What a race! Ferrari fans are going wild! #CharlesLeclerc #Monza"
@FerrariFans:
"Y/N’s strategy today was perfection. Absolute genius. 🔥 #TeamYN #Ferrari"
@LeclercNation:
"Y/N hugging Charles after that win? Yeah, there’s something there. No one can convince me otherwise. #CharlesAndYN"
charles_leclerc
Siete i numeri 1, Forza Ferrari ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
liked by ursername,alexandrasaintmluex, lewishamilton and 10M others
ursername congrats charliee <3
liked by author
⤷ charles_leclerc couldn't done it without you, yn 😘
formula_1 tifosi's pride and joy
lewishamilton enjoy the win mate! great job
oscarpiastri congrats charles!
pascale_leclerc my boy
liked by author
⤷charles_leclerc i didnt leave you at the gransdstands this time 😂
ursername
story, 2h ago
FEVER DREAM!! GRAZIE GRAZIE TUTTI MILLE!
@LeclercNation:
"Alexandra needs to chill. Y/N is just doing her job. She’s a strategist, not a homewrecker! #TeamYN"
formula_1
leo meets his papa who just won the italian grand prix! lovely family at sight 🐕🐶🐾
liked by mlnmarta,alexandrasaintmluex and 2M others
alexfp ahh the cutiess, though she wasn't here but mah queen is always here to shine
alexandrasaintmluex 😍
lecleccreamss since when did F1 turn into a wag thing. Seriously F1? This content is unnecessary!
alexandramyqueen omg our couple is back yayyy
mimosahater @F1Dramaa post. look at this post.
@F1Drama:
"Rumors are flying that Y/N and Alexandra had a heated argument in the Ferrari garage. How much longer can this triangle last? #CharlesLeclerc #YN"
@FerrariInsider:
"It’s getting messy. Y/N is too professional to get involved, but Alexandra seems to be on edge. #F1Gossip #FerrariDrama"
@LeclercNation:
"Y/N is just trying to do her job, but Alex is clearly feeling threatened. Charles needs to step up. #TeamYN"
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
You were packing up in the garage, getting reading to back to the hotel, when Alexandra appeared at the doorway. She looked calm, but there was a fire in her eyes.
"We need to talk." Alex said
You set down your notes, bracing yourself. You replied, "About what?"
"About Charles. About you."
"I’m just doing my job, Alexandra. If you think I’m trying to come between you two, you’re wrong."
Alexandra crossed her arms, stepping closer. "I don’t know if I believe that. I’ve seen the way you two look at each other. I’m not stupid!"
Your jaw clenched. "You’re right. You’re not stupid. But you’re also insecure. And that’s not my problem. I’m here because I’m good at what I do, and Charles knows that."
"Insecure?" Alexandra’s voice was laced with venom. "Do you have any idea what it’s like watching him put you before me over and over again?"
"He doesn’t put me before you, Alexandra. He’s just focused on his career. If you can’t handle that, maybe the problem isn’t me. Maybe it’s your relationship."
Alexandra stared at you, her expression hardening. "You think you’re so untouchable, don’t you? That because you’re the team strategist, you’re safe. But I see the way you want him."
You took a deep breath, stepping forward. "If you’re so sure about that, then maybe you should talk to Charles instead of blaming me."
"Look here, Charles just won the Italian grandprix. It's a big celebration for team. Let's be happy for the win, instead of bringing this up, now."
"Have a great day, Alexandra" you said and left the paddock without any hesitation.
ursername
thank you bryan, charles, carlos, fred and the team for making this strategy happen! to our biggest supporters, the tifosi ❤️🔥❤️🔥
liked by scuderiaferrari, charles_leclerc and 6M others
lewishamilton absolutely fantastic strategy yn, you made it happen 👑👑
⤷ ursername i absolutely cannot wait for you to get on this team any longer!! tysm lewis, really appreciate it 💕💕💫
charles_leclerc tu as réalisé mon plus grand rêve, merci ma belle stratège, ma meilleure amie bien-aimée 🥇🥇🥳🥳❤️❤️❤️
⤷ ursername you were behind the wheel, you make us all dream mon rêveur, mon soleil 🩷🩷
mlnmarta such a shame i wasn't able to witness this but again, ma petite sœur, tu nous fais tous rêver 🥹
⤷ ursername tu aimes me faire pleurer 🥹❤️
After the Azerbaijan Grand Prix
charles_leclerc
story, 2m ago
Part 2 when?
#Spotify#charles leclerc#cl16#formula 1#f1 fanfic#charles leclerc fanfic#charles leclerc one shot#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc fluff#cl16 x reader#f1 fanfiction#f1 fic#f1 imagines#f1 social media au#smau#Charles Leclerc smau#charles leclerc smau#bykshre fics#alexandra saint mleux#x yn
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Never Have I Ever… | E.M x Virgin!Reader
TJ’s 2K Request celebration!
@nailbatanddungeon : “I have a request for youuu. Okay, this is Eddie x Virgin!reader, reader is still new to everything, but there is one thing that the reader needs but is scared to push because the reader is TOUCH STARVED (So am I)”
Cw: reader and Eddie are in their mid to late 20’s, touch starved virgin!reader, angst, fluff, alcohol, throwing up(too much alcohol consumption), hangovers, fingering, oral (f receiving), p in v, protected sex. Friends to lovers
WC: 3.1k
I hope you enjoy!! 💗
“You’ll get there; you’re just a late bloomer, is all”
A late bloomer, you’ve heard it your whole life- and you’re sick of it. Sick of feeling behind in life? You’re in your twenties now and getting absolutely shit-faced because you’ve never done anything in this game of never have I ever.
You, Nancy, Steve, Eddie, Robin, Jonathan, and a few others were at the block party, and you somehow ended up involved in the juvenile game.
“Never have I ever kissed the same gender,” you drank.
“Never have I ever dumped anyone,” you drank.
“Never have I ever smoked weed,” you drank.
“Never have I ever said the wrong name in bed.” That’s rich because you’ve never been in a bed with anyone to begin with.
You hadn’t relized how much you’ve had to drink until you stood up.
“Woah, you okay?” You hear Nancy speak as you wobble.
You had wanted to get up and get more to drink because, unlike the others, your cup was empty.
“Yeah.” You tried to get out, but it sounded more like a grunt to the others.
Ignoring their protests, you stumbled your way back to the kitchen, feeling sorry for yourself.
You fumble with the lid of the hard liquor bottle until a strong ring-clad hand clasps over yours. You freeze, pissed off and embarrassed, knowing who the hand belongs to.
Even in your inebriated state, you get that same feeling whenever he is around you. You feel the heat in your cheeks instantly as the butterflies in your stomach irrupts.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Sweetheart.”
You look down, not wanting to see the look on his face.
“I don’t care” you slur. God, you will hate yourself in the morning.
Of all people, it had to be Eddie to come and check on you?
That’s how he was—always worried, always babying you because you “weren’t experienced in life,” according to his words, and it made you mad! It made you seem like a child, and you were sick of people treating you as such. You were a grown woman, you had a 9:00-5:00, an apartment, and a degree, but none of that mattered—not when it came to dating and love.
“Sweetheart, please, you need to slow down.”
“Why?” You rolled your eyes. “I’m a big girl I can handle my alcohol.” You huffed.
“I just think— "
"IM TIRED OF WHAT YOU THINK!" you've had enough. No one took you seriously, and you couldn't help that Eddie happened to be the only one to feel your wrath.
"Woah, okay-okay, I’m sorry."
“I’m sick of everyone treating me like a child!" the dam broke, and streams of mascara fell down your cheeks.
"I don't think you're a child." Eddie timidly reached out his comforting hand.
"Yes, you do."
"When have— "
"ANY TIME WE ARE OUT, EDDIE! Like last week at the bar, I was so close to getting that guy's number and you swooped in acting like my father!"
"Sweetheart I—"
"Don't sweetheart me!" You cut him off once again. "It's demeaning."
"y/n. Let me take you home. We can talk about this tomorrow."
"I don’t want to."
"Too bad we are going." Eddie no longer gave you a choice. He took your hand and started to pull you along with him.
You stumbled, tripping over your feet because your balance was gone completely.
“Woah, see my point exactly.”
“Shut up.” You mumble, and Eddie can’t help but stifle a laugh. You were so cute.
Eddie didn’t mean to make you think you were juvenile…. He admired you and wanted to protect you; you were a woman to him, all women. He liked you; he really liked you. The only reason he swoops in is because he doesn’t want you with anyone who isn’t him, not because he doesn’t think you’re not capable… He dreams about how capable you can be. He just didn’t have the balls to say it to your face.
The thought of you not having any experience never even crossed his mind. He still had no clue you’d never been intimate with someone; he didn’t even know how inexperienced you were until the game. He watched and raised an unknowing brow each time you took a gulp.
Eddie took your keys from your hands and unlocked your front door for you. The whole car ride had been eerily silent. You didn’t dare speak a word without the threat of vomit coming up with it.
You silently stumbled into your home. Eddie followed closely behind. He helped you take off your sneakers. He led you to the bathroom and found some makeup wipes to help you take off your makeup, but halfway through, you turned to the toilet as the tequila made its way back up.
That’s when you broke; you were so embarrassed. “What’s wrong with me?” You cried.
“Nothing is wrong with you, swee-.” But he cut himself off, remembering that you scolded him earlier in the evening.
“Yes, there is something wrong with me! Nobody wants me.”
“That’s not true.” Eddie stroked the back of your head as you emptied out the contenders of your stomach into the porcelain bowl.
“Then why am I still a virgin?!” You sobbed.
Eddie was stunned, speechless. He had no idea. He just thought you didn’t like sharing your sex life, not that you didn’t have one.
So he let you cry into his chest. Your tears stained his shirt, but he didn’t care; he was here to take care of you.
“Come on, let’s get you to bed,” he guided you after he helped you ride your mouth out.
You crashed as soon as your head hit the pillow. Eddie thought of leaving but was worried you would need him if you woke up, so he took the couch.
You awoke with a throbbing pain pounding in your head. You were never drinking again. The night was murky; you started remembering bits and pieces but not everything. You get up and notice the bottle of painkillers and a glass of water you definitely didn’t put there.
Then you remembered Eddie bringing you home and let out an aggravated groan. How could you have been so messy? And in front of Eddie, out of all people? Why couldn’t Robin and Nancy bring you home? What did you say to him? Were you mean? Did you yell at him? You remember crying, but the reasoning was foggy.
You begrudgingly take the water and pills and almost gag, trying to get them down, but you manage. You also smell like a minibar, so you strip and walk to your bathroom.
After a long hot shower, you get dressed and must put some food into your empty stomach.
You walked past a sleeping Eddie, not seeing him curled up in the living room, and started noisily making yourself some breakfast.
“Is that the way you wake up all your guests?”
You screamed as you threw the fork you had in fright.
“Eddie, what the fuck?!” You clench your chest as you take big breaths to calm your racing heart.
“Sorry, Angel”
Angel… that’s new? It’s always been sweetheart.
“I didn’t know you stayed?”
“Yeah… you um. Were in pretty rough shape last night, I didn’t want you to be alone... so I slept in the couch. I hope that’s okay”
“Thank you, Eddie, I’m sorry I ruined your night.” You looked down, ashamed.
“You didn’t ruin it.” He shook his head.
“Well, I owe you one,” you giggle awkwardly. Eddie and you hardly ever hang out one-on-one.
“How are you feeling?”
“Like absolute shit.” You hand Eddie a black coffee.
“Yeah, well, you really went hard in that game of never have I ever.”
You met out a moan of embarrassment. Your memory came flooding back.
Mortification consumed you as you didn’t want to look Eddie in the eyes. You cried in his arms last night after you puked your guys out.
“Oh god”
“It’s okay, Angel. Nothing to be embarrassed about.”
“What happened to sweetheart?” You tried to change the subject.
“You said it was demeaning…”
“Oh god, I did?” You peek up and see Eddie silently nod his head yes.
“I’m sorry, it’s not… I like the nickname. I just…. I was feeling so emotional last night, and the alcohol.” You tried not to gag at the thought.
“S’all good.” He shrugged. But he was replaced to hear you liked being called sweetheart. It suited you; he didn’t call anyone else that, either. It was reserved just for you.
“Um, so about last night, you mentioned nobody wanting you….” Oh god, was he really doing this now? “I don’t think that’s true.” Yes, he was.
“Huh?” You sit up, taking a sip of your coffee.
“You cried about how you didn’t think anyone wanted you, but it’s not true… I want you.”
Did you hear that right? Did you get water in your ears from the shower?
“You do?” Your eyes widen.
“Yeah,” he looks at you sheepishly.
“Oh?” You were in shock.
“Shit-I-I’m sorry, I ruined everything.” Eddie stood up, but you stood up with him, not wanting him to leave.
“No, Eddie, wait!” You grab his shoulder and turn him to face you. You couldn’t let him leave, not now.
“Sweeetheart, please let me be mortified in peace.”
“Kiss me.”
Eddie stares at you before you tell him one more time.
“Kiss me, Eddie.”
Then you feel his hands grip the back of your head and pull you in.
You didn’t think anything could cure your hangover but this comes pretty damn close.
You melt into his touch, his hands cup your head, your hands find his waist. It feels right, so right you think you’re floating.
No one had kissed you in what felt like years, and maybe it had been, but it was worth the wait.
Hands danced around one another’s bodies, and tongues and teeth clashed. It was messy; it was needy.
“Woah woah woah, sweetheart, hold on.” Eddie pulled back breathlessly.
“What’s wrong?” You look up at him, concerned…. Had he changed his mind?
“I think we should slow down.”
“I don’t want to.”
“Sweetheart, it’s okay. We have time.”
“No.” You shook your head. “I’ve waited long enough.”
“Sweetheart, I don’t think—"
"No! I need this, I want this." You look him dead in the eyes.
"You tell me if you want to stop, okay? Promise me."
"Okay, Eddie."
Eddie waists, not another second to take you in a feverish kiss. His hands roam your body, landing on your ass. It excites you so much you can feel the familiar tingling ruminating lower and lower.
You moan his name and press your whole body into his; you need to feel him, all of him… and you can. His hard cock is digging into your hip bone, and you connect your bodies.
Stumbling back without breaking the kiss, Eddie leads you to your bedroom. You fall backwards onto your bed with a gasp.
hovering above you is Eddie. You can see the lust behind his eyes as he scans your body.
"If im doing anything you don't like, tell me. This is about you, okay?"
“Okay,” you breathe as he lowers down to his knees. You watch his hands run up the tops of your thighs before spreading them wider so he can have access to where he wants you the most.
Running his fingers down your centre, you can’t help but moan at the feeling. You are greedy; you want to feel everything all at once.
Wasting no more time, you pull down the stretchy waistband of your pants and yank your underwear down with it. No time to be self-conscious- the need to feel Eddie fueled your desire.
“Beautiful,” Eddie whispered as he left a trail of kisses up your thigh, hovering just above your mound.
“Can I taste you?”
“Yes, please. Take care of me, I want it so bad,” You whine desperately. If you weren’t so horny, you’d be embarrassed by your words, but with Eddie, everything felt right.
Eddie’s lips latched into your soaked pussy, and you watched as his eyes rolled back in enjoyment. He didn’t hold back; he wanted this to be the best head of your life, even if it’s the only head of your life. You grip his hair in your fist, not expecting the pleasure to ripple through you so quickly.
“Taste so good, sweetheart; I wanna live in this pussy.”
“Oh god!” You cry as a single digit breaches your wanton hole.
Slowly, with his tongue and his finger pumping into you, you’re nearly there. Considering how long you’ve waited for this moment, it doesn't take much more. You’re cumming within minutes.
“Good girl, you okay?” he slaps the inside of your thigh and your body jerks.
“More,” you beg. It wasn’t enough; nothing would be able to satiate you until his cock was deep inside you.
“You sure? We can stop if you’re not ready”
“Need you now.” You grab him by the shirt collar and pull him towards you for a searing kiss.
“Okay,” he mumbles into your mouth, crawling up your body.
You loved the feel of his weight on top of you, consuming you with every kiss.
“Want you, Eddie” you moan as your hands toy with the hem of his shirt.
“You have me.” He dips his head lower to caress your throat with his lips.
Your breath hitches when you feel his teeth scrape across your soft, delicate skin.
Eddie didn’t lift his head until he was satisfied with the dark mark left on your neck.
When he unlatched from your throat, you demanded he take his clothes off.
Eddie loved your eagerness; he saw a spunk in you that he could only have dreamed of.
You also removed the rest of your clothing as he stripped.
When Eddie removed his last layer over his head, he couldn’t help but ogle your body, the way your head sunk into the pillows, your breasts, your soaked pussy on display for him. He was devouring you with his eyes.
You motion him to you with a single finger, breaking him out of the trace you put him under.
“God, you’re so beautiful.” Eddie was like a feline the way he crawled up on the bed to you.
The heat rushed to your cheeks; somehow, this felt more intimate than what he was doing between your legs a moment ago.
“I want you,” you repeat yourself.
Eddie cups your face, and you cup his in return. His eyes bore into your soul, leaving not a trace unturned as he searched your entire being before kissing you one more.
You moan into his mouth, and Eddie’s cock grazes your mound collecting your slick as his hips ground into you.
“Ready?” He asked desperately; he needed to be inside of you.
“Yes.”
He quickly got up and you moaned,
“What are you?- oh,” you blush
You see him reach for his pants pocket for his wallet as he pulls out a condom.
Quickly he rips it open, and your mouth waters as he rolls it over his cock. This is the first time you’re seeing what he looks like down there, and you’re getting nervous because how is that supposed to fit?
“Sweetheart? You'll be okay.” He smirks.
Cocky, shit.
“If I have to ask you again, I’m going to do this myself.” You huffed.
“Oh really? How do you suppose that?” He pounced back on top of you.
“I have my toys.”
Eddie’s head drops back. “We will get back to that later. Now I’m going to fuck you.”
“Finally”
Eddie doesn’t respond. He just slowly slides his cock through your slick folds collecting your natural lube before inching his way inside of you.
“I need you to relax, sweetheart.” You naturally clench around him. He was so tickled and long. Never had you felt so full, but little did you know Eddie was only a quarter-way in.
“Fuck you’re big,” you gasp.
“No need to stroke my ego, baby girl”
That made your pussy clench down again.
“Oh, you like that?”
You nod your head, yes, unable to speak.
“Noted”
You could kill him if he wasn’t making you feel so good.
“Eddie!” You scream as he finally reaches the hilt, gripping him like a koala you don’t want to let go.
“Fuck, this pussy is so tight” Eddie slowly works his hips in and out of you; with each thrust, you can feel his bush brush against your clit, and it sends a tingle down your spine.
You moan in response; everything feels like it is on fire; never had you expected this level of sex. No wonder everyone is obsessed with it.
“Harder”
“You sure”
“Yes, god yes!”
Eddie's hips snap into you with such force your head almost hits the headboard. The bed is rocking; you have never experienced something so wanted, so needed, so absolutely taken over by someone else.
“Eddie! Eddie! Eddie!” You chant his name, which only makes him go harder. His fingers dug into your hips, gripping you so hard, not ever wanting to let you go.
“Fuck me, this pussy s'good.” He spits through his teeth. His primal side is showing, and you can't get enough.
Nothing can again amount to this amount of pleasure; you're ruined for life.
"You close, baby girl?" Edie smirks when he feels you clamp don't on his cock when he spits out the words.
A guttural moan is unleashed from your throat in response because, god, you're so close.
The pressure building inside of you is about to burst as Eddie's calloused fingers find your sensitive clit.
"Come on baby, I know you gotta another one for me. I know you do."
Eddies words tipped you over the edge. Your body seized as his thick cock continued to pump into your greedy pussy. Your orgasm took over, and Eddie watched you silently scream for him.
Before you became overstimulated, Eddie also came shortly after, only a few more pumps, and he spilled himself into the condom.
With Eddie beside you huffing and puffing, you couldn't wipe the stupid grin off your face.
"That good, huh?"
"I don't want to stroke your ego, but yeah... fuck me" You hid your face.
"I just did." Eddie rolled over to kiss all over your face and you can't help but giggle.
"I hope we can do that again," you shy away.
"Oh, we are one thousand percent doing that again. "
Tagging some mooties: @littlexdeaths @xxbimbobunnyxx @voyeurmunson @rowanswriting @lofaewrites
@starkeysprincess @strangerstilinski @taintedcigs @mmunson86 @paybacksawitch @stardancerluv
#Eddie Munson x you#Eddie Munson x reader#Eddie Munson smut#Eddie Munson x female reader#Eddie Munson x virgin!reader#Eddie Munson imagine
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