#this week i.e. every week
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coming soon on @xinganhao 🎨🎾🐈
#── ᵎᵎ ✦ yapping#[ eek!! so hello!! these are upcomings that are unrelated to stuff i obviously owe ]#[ i.e. the tatbilb winners + svtflix :) ]#[ i'm on a mission to have one mini-series for every member and so far we have vernon ✅ and gyu ✅ ]#[ positively whelmed with all the kind words that have been thrown my way!!! thank u all for being so nice to me :( ]#[ my stories are taking longer time than they used to. but im slowly but surely working thru themmm pls trust that lmao ]#[ i'm excited for what's to come! i hope u are too!! ]#[ and as i always say: i hope you're happier than me today~~~ ]#[ much much love!! see you all soon for an exciting week nxt week hehe ]
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2009 Brazilian Grand Prix - Jenson Button
#no matter how many times i have seen him kissing the camera i still combust and fall onto the floor every time i see it#JENSE SINGING WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS ON THE RADIO I FELT SO UNWELLLLLLLLLL JENSEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!#AAAAHHHH HES SOOOOOOOOOO YKNOW???? HES SOOOOOOO!!!!!!#ANYWAYS I LOVE BRAWN!!! BEST TEAM!! BEST UNDERDOGS!!!#i fear that i am dreadfully painfully wholeheartedly in love with him....#god ive not even delved into the pics from this race bcs i think i will melt into the floor and sob when i do#also i am not immune to a man loving and supporting his son sob sob sob ;;; jense and his dad always make me feel so warm#again ty to lemon for pointing me towards the one clip!!#usually these posts are just moments from the main race archive but these all came from 3 dif videos so that was v fun as you can imagine..#im not quite finished the season yet but i can still commentate on this bcs now the wcc and wdc are tied up#but its wild bcs this season took me longer than the last one but since it had less races it still felt shorter/faster to me somehow#for the midseason i was practically lined up with the current season(i.e. watching Monaco 09 the same week as Monaco 23)#so it was pretty fun to experience both and see the differences(i think i like 2009 better hehehe) but now i have majorly overtook 2023#jenson button#jb22#brawn#brawn gp#2009 brazilian gp#f1#formula 1#formula one#we do a little bit of f1#season: 2009
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the amount of math i put into figuring out my PTO is honestly so funny. i've probably spent like 2 hours this week and last week just playing with the leave calculator spreadsheet my coworker gave me. this morning i added a sheet for 2026 so now i'm calculating my PTO out that far. i basically already have a plan of how i'm taking time off for 2025 so as to maximize my time off in 2026. i dont think this is a normal level of attention to detail but at least i'm having fun
#(at my job i can accrue a certain amount of PTO that then becomes 'use or lose' because only so much carries over each year)#so by the mythical year 2026 i could in fact end up with 121 hours of use or lose by the end of it#aka i am Forced to take off 15 days (121 hrs) that year or it'll just be wiped#oh dear oh no! however could i manage to take 15 days off! <- DESPERATELY wants to be in this position as soon as possible#my issue is that i keep taking too much time off so i havent hit the maximum cap yet lmao#like if i just chilled out i could reach it next year#but chilling out is not in my vocabulary. i have places to go and people to see#therefore i cannot reach use or lose in 2025 BUT i can reach it in 2026....if i don't end up spending too much of what i accrue first#so i have vauge plans next year that havent solidified and i keep trying out stuff to see how many hours it would leave me with#historically my methods of maximizing time are:#1) work a flexible schedule with 9 hour days one pay period in order to get a day off for 'free' (this is how i'll get black friday off)#2) work over time and bank those hours as 'credit' time. i can have up to 24 hours/3 days worth of that stored#(i can easily do this long term by just like. working an extra hour every week and it'll add up lol)#3) receiving a time off award if management loves me enough (i normally get a free 8 hours award each year but i can't bet on this)#4) earning travel comp time by working overtime via work travel (such as your flight getting in at 8 pm or whatever)#5) earning normal comp time by attending a work event outside of normal hours (i.e. that time i worked on saturday)#these are all ways to get time off without dipping into PTO so that i can let the PTO accumulate#......as you can see i'm Very normal about this
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OKAY I'm going to get back to working on the comic this month, HUAH!
#recalibrating how I spend my time (i.e. no phone scrolling lol)#and maybe I'll stop getting fucking sick every 4 weeks.....that's put a damper on things in general
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no one understands the whiplash i get sometimes looking at chairman daigo fanart cause sometimes he's really pale or his hair's messy and drawn a particular way and i think its masato but nay .... im so sorry sixth chairman please forgive me i dont mean to compare you to that freak
#snap chats#says this as if i dont want masato carnally listen i have to be self aware and remember he's crusty#its cause he sleeps in his mascara probably ... no he does not i know he deep cleanses#oh my god my legs bleeding. i got bug bites and i started scratching them and now im bleeding fuck this baka life#idk ... anyway else like bleeding tho on the lowest of keys .... moving on#like ik every other week someone will point o ut masato looks like daigo or reminds them of daigo in some way#I.E. someone posted on that meme i did that masato reminded them of emo daigo so cjawRLKVJERKLJ IM NOT ALONE AND CRAZY#i mean im alone and crazy but not on this. never this. who the hell's brother said masato was what daigo'd be if kiryu didnt care#wild ... wild that i even remember that tag what the fuck are the things i remember#im moving on now. i just wanted to inflict this on everyone cause it happens so much#like their actual models and face shapes and skin tones are not at all similar#yet when drawn more simply or without paying heavy attention to features .... be careful goku ......#my god if masato 'lived' to 2006 id have the funniest jokes ready
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Dean's Hair Color: A Breakdown
Or: why Dean is not blond
Note: When capturing the colors I attempted to go for the midtones, rather than the shadows or highlights, for accuracy and consistency.
You can see in the photo of 4yo Dean that he is very blonde, with his hair several shades lighter and brighter than either the "dark blonde" or "light brown" options.
But at every other time, for every other actor cast to play Dean including Jensen, the midtones in his hair are darker than even the light brown option's midtones.
Ergo, Dean is not a blond. He had blond hair as a very young child that darkened as he got older, which is fairly common, similar to how some kids have blue eyes as babies that eventually change.
#supernatural#dean winchester#blonde dean discourse#also lbr jensen is a blond the way every ash brown haired white girl who insists she has 'natural highlights' is a blond#i.e. not at all without a trip to the salon every six weeks
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i swear to whatshername you could stop heating this house in november and it would still be warm enough by xmas. outdoor temp peaked like 3 days ago but my room is still at 28°C 👹
#I WANT TO GO TO BED ugh#no wonder ive been sleeping like shit#i mean my room is cooling down#but only by like#1-2 degrees per day lmao#so i get to enjoy a week long echo of every heatwave#its 19°C outside!!!!!!!!! what the fuck!!!!!!#its bc this is the sunniest corner of the house#the windows open onto a stone patio#i.e. a giant heat reservoir#south facing ofc#perfect for a summer lover like moi#&
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I need a boyfriend, if for no other reason than that when I say “I’m out of fermented shrimp paste, please go to Saginaw and fetch me some,” something actually gets done about it.
#Need to find me a man ASAP#I have been dropping hints about needing shrimp paste for WEEKS#(i.e. shrieking “I need shrimp paste” at the top of my lungs every morning)#But do you think my father or brothers care?#They do not#Could I go to saganaw to get fermented shrimp paste myself?#Theoretically yes#But that’s not the point here#I shouldn’t have to go to saganaw to get shrimp paste#*SoMe* *PeOpLe* who go to *SaGiNaW* for *WoRk*#Could stop at an Asian market and get me some instead#>:(#Obviously I am not even REMOTELY bitter about this#At all#like#not even a little bit
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UGH Why do so many songs I want to sing require a huge amount of charisma to pull off.
#creepy? good. pathetic? good. awkward? good. murder? excellent.#confidence? magnetism? FUCK no.#I promised I'd sing a Gay Song if the anime lesbians won and it's looking like they actually might#and everything I can find that's in my vocal range (i.e. NOT TOO LOW) is a duet or is about 'women love me I'm an icon'#slash 'I'll steal your girl' which TO BE CLEAR I am in favor of these songs existing I think we need even more of them actually#but there is no way in HELL I could ever make something like that work it would be THEEEEE biggest joke in the universe#so there's nothing for me to comfortably sing ;-;#unless you count 'lacy' as a gay song which I go back and forth on#I GUESS I could do rem's sacrifice song in the musical but that song is HARD I do not think ANYBODY wants to hear me sing that lmao#I USED to be able to fully belt 'you oughta know' (of which there IS a gay Broadway Version) and that was my one (1) pop/karaoke song.#but I can't do that anymore.#I might be able to build it back up again but that would take. a while. it's not something I could toss out within the week of the poll#ending (if they win)#ugh why did I stop singing every day I don't know how to do anything anymore a;lsfkja;slfjadslfk#unhinged lady screams about music
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really wish there was a tag that separated “I’m having Big Angry and/or Angsty Opinions about Star Wars” from “I’m goofing off with Star Wars I’m playing in the sandbox none of this is real so yes I will make my blorbo and this random glub shitto go on an adventure that makes no logical sense” posts because there’s too much of the former and not enough of the latter for my current mental state
#starlight personal#the good news is that I finally have another ketamine appt scheduled and it’s sooner than I thought they’d have an opening#the bad news is that the appointment is not tomorrow and we’re kinda at the end of my mental-emotional rope#now kids this is what we call: an inherent flaw in my treatment plan that cannot be removed#because pretty much in an ideal world I’d have ketamine appointments every 6 weeks but 1) expensive and probs can’t afford that#2) they don’t have enough availability for that to be realistic 3) can’t take off of work THAT frequently without consequences#4) I would probably start to doubt reality if I was tripping that frequently 5) I don’t think docs would allow it#treatment resistant depression and anxiety my beloathed if we could just chill that’d be great#treatment resistant PMDD my other beloathed someday I will do my damnedest to cut you out of my body#idk not to be too selfpitying on main but god it fucking sucks that I appear to be doomed to another cycle based mood thing#PMDD means I get two good weeks two bad weeks#ketamine being the only effective treatment for whatever my brain’s got going on means two good months followed by x bad months#until my next appointment#which like! two good months is better than no good months I am grateful that something helps#I just wish it was a more convenient help and it could be applied more consistently than my psych office provides#also wish I didn’t have to call them 3 times to get it scheduled but it is what it is#also also wish that I had fewer of the physical side effects of my anxiety and wouldn’t wake up puking the min things are rough#this is all to say: I want silly SW headcanons and droid headcanons and silly fic ideas and not Everyone is Always Suffering#but I’m also too lazy (I.e brain cannot make decisions rn) to search for new tags that may give me more silly#which means time to browse my bookmarks for good good comfort fics I have saved I suppose#(this is lowkey why i want to physically fight everyone i know who’s like ‘yeah meds would help but idk :/‘ like!!!!!!!!#bro it’s a privilege to have access to meds and it’s a privilege to have a body that doesn’t turn on you the min you take one!!!!#just try 10mg of zoloft I would kill for 10mg of zoloft to not make me entirely incapable of functioning!!!)#I don’t mean that - you have a right to take or not take medication and everyone’s reasons may be their own#I just had my body and have some rough feelings around treating my issues being so expensive and inconvenient#and then feeling guilty b/c I know I’m lucky that I can afford it and can take off of work for it when I need to#like I am pretty lucky to have something that works and to have a care team that helped me get here#so I don’t wanna be ungrateful or unappreciative of my own luck in this and the work that went into getting here#I’d just also like it if I could change the circumstances slightly#make treatment on the weekends an option - get my psych office to have more than 2 trip sitters so scheduling isn’t so bad
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[wailing]
#the two most agonising things a human can experience: starting 2 new classes tomorrow AND having to write a sex scene#the history class shouldn't be THAT hard all things considered#but the japanese class looks to be pretty intense#its three sessions in person plus 2 online classes per week#which is like...8 and a half hours a week i think??#then i have another (slightly less intensive) japanese class to do as well but that one starts on wednesday#i only have 4 different modules this term but yeah that japanese one is pretty hefty#granted the sex scene is entirely my own doing so i can't REALLY complain#but god. every time i start one i remember how utterly excruciating the last one was and why i said i would never do it again 😭#this one also has the unique distinction of being solely composed of characters whose anatomy i can concretely define#which may not sound like much but its certainly different to how i normally write these things#(i.e. w characters whose anatomy is left up to the reader's interpretation)#so you know. Fun#[unimpressed portal 2 confetti sound]
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24 days left. I shouldn't be excited for this to be over soon but gotta be honest. Mental health wise not my best few months. Kinda glad to go home soon
#it's really just the eating problem#that's the main thing ruining my life lol#kinda pathetic#i end up literally crying like every other day because i fucked up a perfectly good 'healthy' eating pattern i developed the past 4 years#and can't seem to get over it#and i know it's probably gonna follow me home but a part of me still wants to believe things will just go back to being okay#once I'm back and can exercise the way i want and eat what i want again#and of course also have some mental support and things to focus on other than obsessing over food and body issues#(i.e. my wonderful sweet little baby dogs who i love more than life and who definitely will fix Everything)#i just gotta try to make it through these last 3 weeks with minimal damage#it's literally fine#void screams
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if it's not on the collegehumor channel or a process video for some various art or craft, I'm not interested
randomly curious if im weird or if people are like me
#maybe video essays when i have the spoons#arts and crafts#i.e. baking cooking restoring paintings PAINTING paintings refurbishing things restoring furniture constructing houses etc etc#but mostly im on youtube to watch something i pay dropout.tv to serve me hot and fresh every week
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been cleaning my dorm for like 4 hours and it somehow does not feel like it has amounted to anything
#i have completed tasks things are better!! where the fuck is my dopamine you bitch#i couldn't deal w a lot of stuff in the way i would normally want to bc im trying to unfuck a LOT of things here#namely the cat piss closet. i have since washed basically everything in there bc they smell like piss#by virtue of sharing air with the piss for possibly weeks (im not bitter im not bitter) but ofc i can't put them#back in the closet bc it still smells like cat piss despite my best efforts#i am. very underequipped for this btw#anyway none of the major things i WANTED to be better are better despite effort (i.e. i wanted to stop living out of my suitcase#but i still can't do that bc the closet is still fucked up. so the scrubbing and scrubbing and scrubbing the floor and washing clothes#didn't lead to the tangible reward of not kicking my fucking suitcase every morning#and rascal Does Not Like It when im up and moving so a hazard of doing any chores is getting attacked#and oh boy did he#ugh i wanted to clear my weekend i had ASSIGNMENTS. I STILL HAVE ASSIGNMENTS#but thats not super appealing bc again im tired and i feel like dookie doodoo ass#but i don't want to have shit to do over the weekend bc i know my work is probably gonna be affected by my mental health#which is definitely gonna be affected by The Event. i wanna get my shit done before tomorrow afternoon but like. guh#whatever it's fine we roll nonetheless. i could probably get away with skipping another class or two over this anyway#only good thing about this#would be nice to go home and wash my face. shower. etc#anyway. if nobody got me i know kaiji fa.nart as my keyboard background got me 🤝#(chanting) no matter what kind of bad day im having kaiji's having a worse one no matter what kind of day im having kaiji's having a worse#horribly embarrassing moment where a friendly stranger in class saw like 4 kaijis in the margins and was like whos that :3#no it's not a bad thing i was just caught off guard and my drawing's rusty as fuck and whatever. bleh#im trying figure out his design bc im in trauma-bonded love aith him or whatever and#but my ass will NOT look up a reference. in class. and i haven't been drawing out of class bc ive been doing work for class. c'est la vie#wait i never closed that parenthesis. here:)#ech then again maybe i'll want the distraction of work. crossing that bridge when i get to it#after all i can just work ahead if that's the case yk#to explain the closet my roommate stayed in the dorm over winter break and i didn't and at some point in there#roomie's cat pissed on a fallen skirt like crazy. and then that piss was trapped in there for possibly weeks#and im not bitter not even a little that i didn't get an apology from my roommate. but hey don't ask and don't receive ig
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reading 19th century opera reviews rn every theatre reviewer who has ever existed is at heart a massive bitch
we have recommended some cuts, because if we are to believe the opinion of our neighbours, to which we add our own, mr. auber has prolonged truly too much a certain type of cantabile that he has sung by mlle cinti, and the proof that they are too long is that the public interrupted them twice with applause, believing that the musician and singer had finished. [...] an observation has been made almost generally, that m. auber does not heat up his conspiracy enough in the most critical moment. when mazaniello returns to his cabin, naples is in the power of the people; this idea must therefore occupy all his mind; that mazaniello should sing, nothing better, but that he should at least interrupt himself, that he listens, that he is worried, that he is beside himself; when alphonse and elvire, seeking refuge, implore fenella's help, that they should sing again, since singing is required; but would that this singing be hurried, that it be breathless, so to speak... well! no; once in front of the footlights, mlle cinti coughs very low, and with her eye fixed on the conductor, begins a long complaint which will last just eleven minutes, watch in hand.
#'if we are to believe the opinion of our neighbours to which we add our own' just truly one of the best sentences ive read this week#curry rambles#this is funnier in french tbh. 'eh bien! non.'#meanwhile this same reviewer about adolphe nourrit i.e. paris' most specialest tenor guy:#perhaps one would wish for a slightly larger organ; but who can have everything?#but as every reviewer they're all mostly impressed with noblet as fenella#it's suuuuuch a shame there is no clear evidence of what movements she used all we have is some vague staging direction#and acting and movement on stage was different back then so it's rly difficult to not just go and extrapolate from ur own theatre experienc#bc it most likely would not have been like that
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training new people is so annoying because if they can't do something by now/january, it's like "did laura not teach that??" no, she just doesn't listen to me and/or never does what i say
#the only people she truly listens to is sophia and her husband#and maybe tony#and definitely woolworths guy#anyone but me#like when i was trying to explain BAS's and it felt like i was trying to explain that santa claus existed#it's like she was thinking 'alright lmao that sounds fake'#could be a generation gap thing or a culture gap thing or just me being shit at teaching or#why am i thinking about this on a sunday in november#come on laura you have several weeks to teach her things#and she'll only be on her own for 2 weeks that's it then you'll be back and#it'll be fine#just leave a sheet of notes on her desk like 'don't forget to turn the urn off every day'#oh yeah that's the other thing i'll be like 'jenette told me this' and she'll be like lmao ok as if i'm spurting old wives tales#i don't know#the others all laugh that the signed pages aren't in the trust deeds upstairs and blame colleen ok yeah but no shut up let me explain#(i can't explain)#hardest part is like it's the first she's seeing a lot of things#like when jenette showed me stuff (i.e. lodging) i was like yeah this makes sense#to her it's like wait... both those pieces of filing look the same....#yes but there's a difference#one goes in the folders right here *shows her files bursting of documents* and other goes here *mountain on my desk*#big difference
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