#im moving on now. i just wanted to inflict this on everyone cause it happens so much | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

solarwonux · 4 years ago

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10. “I still remember the way you taste.”

31. “Why haven’t you kissed me yet?”

villain!wonwoo x superhero!f!reader

w.c: 2.6k (it was mistake okay I got carried away we should know this by now)

warnings: fluff, talks of death, ghosts, torture if you squint, graveyards, digging up graves (don’t do that yall), angst a little, it’s hinted that the reader can communicate with ghosts. (if you’re uncomfortable with any of these themes this one is not for you)

note: I CAN EXPLAIN OKAY I KNOW YOU WANTED JOKER WONWOO BUT LIKE IT STARTED OFF THAT WAY AND THEN I GOT SOFT. Enjoy let know your thoughts please, they mean so much to me.

Also i will answer asks at some point, school is just keeping me super busy, BUT IM NOT IGNORING THEM THEY MAKE ME SMILE EVERY TIME I SEE THEM.

masterlist || drabble game

Wonwoo wiped the sweat off of his brow with the back of his hand, panting slightly as he stared down at the empty grave. “Remind me again why we’re doing this?” Vernon asked, digging his shovel into the ground with the heel of his boot. He rested his forearm against the handle looking at Wonwoo through his sweaty bangs.

“There is no reason, I was just bored.” Wonwoo shrugged, his cheeks were dusted with dirt and his white dress shirt was anything but white. The truth was he had a reason, he needed a way to meet you halfway and causing chaos was the only way to get you out of that shiny tower in the middle of the city where all the heroes resided. But his reasoning would never be voiced out loud, especially not to Vernon and so he lied like it was second nature to him.

Wonwoo missed you, He missed getting under your skin with his snarky remarks and idiotic plans to take over the world. Or at least the city. The world was his end goal, but in order to do that he needed to succeed at taking over the city first and so far he had failed. Mainly, do to you and your teammates interrupting his plans. Though along the way something unexpected happened. He had undoubtedly fallen truly, madly, deeply in love with you. It had annoyed him at first, his mind was constantly enveloped with thoughts of you. Interrupting everything he spent years working on.

It took him months to come to terms with his unwanted feelings and if he hadn’t snuck into the masked ball held every year at the tower; he probably wouldn’t have. But the second he saw you come down the grand staircase of the ballroom wearing a dress so blue, it put the night sky to shame; he kissed you before he could stop himself. Despite the mask he was wearing you had spotted him in the crowd and led him down an empty hallway when his urges got the best of him causing him to sin. When he pulled away he was shocked just as you were, but he was definitely floored when you had cut his apology short and kissed him again.

“So you decided to dig up an empty grave for fun?” Vernon pushed his dirt stained hand through his hand, leaving behind little specks of dirt in its wake. “How did you even know this grave would be empty?”

“It’s mine...well used to be mine. Obviously I’m not dead.” Wonwoo’s nonchalant tone sent shivers up Vernon’s back. Once again he found himself wondering why the hell he always found himself going along with Wonwoo’s schemes. He knew there was a reason. Wonwoo never did anything without calculating all his moves beforehand, but he wasn’t sure if he wanted to know the true reason, more so if he was going to find out soon anyway. His suspicions were confirmed when he caught sight of you. He should’ve known that this was just another one of Wonwoo’s ways to get to you.

Vernon didn’t understand your relationship with Wonwoo, scientifically it didn’t make sense. In simple terms Wonwoo was hated by everyone and you on the other hand were not. But the two of you had snuck around for years up until the accident five months ago. Ever since then Wonwoo’s spirits were low and he was going mad. If he wasn’t holed up in his tiny room at the apartment he was bent over a desk mumbling to himself, trying to come up with ways in which he could see you again. All of Wonwoo’s attempts before this one had failed and to say he wasn’t surprised to see you sit down, legs hanging over the edge of the grave while looking down at Wonwoo lovingly, he would be lying. Though, he supposed it had to do with the fact that Wonwoo’s grave was dug up.

“You guys having fun there?” Wonwoo jumped. He rapidly smoothed down his shirt, leaving behind streaks of dirt, and fixed his hair before turning around. A smug smile adorning his features. Vernon shook his head and rolled his eyes. Sometimes he missed the days in which Wonwoo wasn’t in love.

“Princess what brings you here?” He winked. His clammy hands grew more wet as he leaned against the shovel, before it failed underneath his weight causing him to trip. Seeing you again was like a breath of fresh air, the pictures he kept of you and looked at every night did you no justice. For you shined brighter than the stars in the night sky and it always made Wonwoo’s heart skip a beat.

“Cut the shit Wonwoo, I know you’ve been turning this city upside down at least once a week to get under my skin.”

“Well, what was I supposed to do? You haven’t been answering my calls, texts or emails.” Wonwoo threw his hands up in disbelief and you rolled your eyes at his ignorance.

“Apologize, that’s all you had to do and you wouldn’t be here digging your own grave...literally.” You huffed crossing your arms in front of you, ripping your eyes away from his. Suddenly the memory of the accident came lingering back. You knew, given his nature, Wonwoo was calculated. He used his powers to affiliate pain on his victims without moving a muscle to get what he wanted. Though, he had never used it on you, until that night.

He had been blinded by rage and pain and you had never seen him use so much power in your years of knowing him. It scared you and when you had tried to coax him out of whatever state he was in. He did the one thing he promised he would never do.

He used his abilities on you.

Wonwoo sighed before hosting himself out of the hole and taking the empty seat next you. “I wanted to do it in person, but you never showed up.” He looked down at his hands playing with his fingers, twirling the ring on his pinky. His body was consumed with guilt as your screams of agony replayed in his head. Just like they did every night. He had never once felt anything but satisfaction and bliss whenever he used his powers on someone. In fact he loved the way his victims begged him to stop, that was until you were on the receiving end of his torture.

“You know where I live. It’s a big shiny tower in the center of town. Pretty hard to miss honestly.” The airy playfulness of your voice made his stomach swirl. He truly missed you and not just on nights when the two of you gently explored each other's bodies, but just in general.

“I know but you know how much I hate the others, especially Joshua. He always has to stick his nose into matters that don’t concern him.” He huffed, flicking a tiny spec of dirt off of his trousers. “And I was scared.” He confessed lowly, shocking Vernon who had now taken it upon himself to sit on the soil filled ground to watch the spectacle in front of him. Wonwoo never admitted his fears and though Vernon sometimes could feel them radiating off him. It was different hearing it come from his friend's mouth.

“Of Joshua? Dude’s only got super strength and-”

“No of you. I was scared to see you suffer and to turn me away. I was scared that if I did show up putting aside indifference for your friends just to hear you say that you didn’t love me anymore.” Wonwoo let out a deep sigh at the ending of his words. He dropped his shoulders feeling the weight being lifted off them. He felt your body shake next to him and it confused him greatly, even more so when it was followed by your laugh. Though he loved it and missed it greatly. He couldn’t deny the anger he felt towards you as you laughed at his vulnerability.

Slowly, he felt his heart close up again and brought himself up to his feet faster than he could blink. His feet moved faster than the doubt racing through his veins and your laughter came to a stop.

He now remembered why he swore to never love again all those years ago.

“Wonwoo, wait come back.” You hurried to your feet, smoothing down the creases on your leggings. Vernon copied your movements. He could sense the fear coming from your body, and it overwhelmed his senses. Behind his soft eyes he quietly told you to hurry before Wonwoo did something he wasn’t supposed to. Even though Wonwoo always did without planning ahead of time, there were a few instances where he didn’t care and acted carelessly. And he found himself fearing more for your heart rather than his friend's safety.

You sighed tugging on the sleeves of your sweatshirt before turning around and ran after the only man you had ever loved. You passed many tombstones, silently paying your respects until you stopped in the middle of a small clearing, home to one familiar tombstone and Wonwoo. His hands in his pocket, eyebrows furrowed and his teeth chewing down on his teeth.

“After she died, I promised her I wouldn’t love anyone again.” He whispered, “but then you came along and ruined it.” He turned his head, his eyes glossy with wanted tears. “Do you know how much I beat myself up every day for what I did to her. For what I did to you. I hate myself for it, I hate that I can inflict pain on everyone else but myself because I’m not one that should be suffering, not everyone else.”

By now he had finally let his tears go. They raced down his cheeks rapidly and it shattered your heart.

“It hurts me that you think that way about yourself. She didn’t die because of you, you tried to save her and-”

“I was too late.” Wonwoo snorted and rolled his eyes. He stared intently at the tombstone in front of him, reading his little sister’s name over and over again, letting it burn feverishly inside his mind. He missed her dearly and sometimes he wondered why you never told him anything about the conversations you would have with her whenever she visited you. But you had told him that it was a family secret between the two of you and he never questioned you again because you had used the word family and it made him feel all giddy inside.

“Let me talk Wonwoo.” You said closing the gap between you and Wonwoo. You grabbed his face in your hands and wiped away his tears with the pad of your thumb. He had always been there to comfort you on your lowest days. His sweet words and warmth grounded you back onto the Earth, but you had never gotten the opportunity to do the same to him. He always kept himself closed off and reserved. It had taken almost a year into your secret, not so secret relationship for him to tell you about his sister’s unfortunate death and a few more months after that for him to say that he loved you. Despite all those small passing moments of vulnerability he had never once cried in front of you.

“I love you and you’re stupid for thinking that I would love you any less because of what happ-”

“I hurt you though,” Wonwoo cut you off, earning a ground shattering glare from you that sent shivers up his spine. “Sorry you can continue.” He whispered.

“Thank you.” You smirked and wrapped your arms around his neck, making him freeze. You were the strangest person he had ever had the pleasure in knowing because normal people would never be as comfortable as you were in his presence. “I know the kind of person you are Wonwoo, through this cold exterior there is the most loving and sensible person I have ever known. I mean, baby, you spent a whole day sulking because you forgot to water your plant.”

“You gave me that plant for my birthday, therefore he’s our child.”

“This is exactly my point, you have the biggest of anyone I have ever known. Unfortunately, you have been dealt a bad hand in life and I really don’t understand your obsession with taking over the world. But you’re not a monster.”

“I hurt people though, sometimes for fun.” He whispered against your skin. In the midst of your speech he had given in and circled his arms around your waist before burying his face into the crook of your neck. Leaving the two of you in an awkward and uncomfortable position.

“And who are those people?”

“Bad people.”

“Exactly baby, they’re the scum of the Earth and you have helped stop them.”

“Okay, but that doesn’t make me a hero. I’m just doing what you guys can’t do. On top of that Joshua’s super strength is useless, he only gets praised because he’s hot.” Wonwoo finished and raised his head, smirking. He sent you a playful wink, tears long forgotten, causing you to roll your eyes.

“Mingyu takes forever to get ready, but that’s besides the point. You’re not a monster so stop treating yourself like one.”

“Does that mean you forgive me?” He pouted batting his eyelashes at you.

“Yes you big idiot.”

“Then...why haven’t you kissed me yet?” He puckered his lips and made kissing noises, making you laugh. “Hey I’m waiting and you know I’m impatient.” He spoke through pouted lips as he leaned in closer, his lips hovered over yours teasingly until you finally caved and kissed him. He sighed happily against your mouth and deepened the kiss. He had spent five months without the feeling of your touch and it scared him that he would forget how it felt. Yet, now as he kissed you with everything in him he realized he hadn’t and it overjoyed him to the point in which he accidentally let out a moan; making you pull away quickly and eyeing him down.

“Control yourself, your sister, her friends and Vernon are here.” You scolded making him pout.

“I’m sorry, i just...I still remember the way you taste, and I got excited.” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. Before he could plant his lips on yours again he was met with your hand pushing him away. He whined as you tore his arms away from your waist, his body growing cold. “Nooo, one more kiss.” He reached out making grabby hands at you like a child. Instead of giving into what he wanted you turned and started walking away, “Wait, where are you going?” He stumbled against his own feet before following you.

“Home.” You looked over at him and stuffed your hands into the front pocket of your hoodie. “You have a grave to cover up with Vernon.”

“But I haven’t seen you in five months, just give me five more minutes please.”

“Wonwoo you just didn’t look hard enough baby.” You said giving him a knowing smirk before leaning over, giving him a chaste kiss on his cheek. He felt his eyes grow in realization as everything started to click in his head. If what you had hinted was the truth and you had shown up to every single sight he had caused trouble in, then he had to give it to you. You were a lot more clever than you led on. “Don’t think about it too hard, I’ll leave my window open for you.” You smiled widely giving his cheek a pat and disappeared through the trees.

“You live on the twenty fourth floor.” He yelled after you, his hands falling down at his side in defeat. He heard someone snort next to him and suddenly he remembered that Vernon was there silently observing everything, just like always did.

“Figure it out baby, you always do.”

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eddiemunson-thehero · 4 years ago

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hey there I've an idea for a bucky request, just an idea though if you don't wanna write it that's completely fine! : ) so im thinking super angst with a sprinkle of fluff maybe? bucky either has a nightmare or some type of episode as the winter solider and attacks reader but doesn't remember doing it, then when he sees reader again he keeps pestering her asking what happened to her bcuz he can see that she's injured. she doesn't want him to feel bad so she tries her best not to tell him but he keeps asking and wanting to talk to her to see if she's okay and she eventually tells him that he did it

Why of course! I hope this is something along the lines of what you requested. I ended up getting a bit carried away hahaha.

Here is Line Without A Hook

You, Bucky, and the rest of the team had just returned from a grueling mission infiltrating a Hydra base in Russia. To be expected Bucky was a bit shaken by being back there, he was quiet most of the ride back in the Quinjet. Deciding that a nice scalding long shower would not only ease your tension but also Bucky’s, you began to light sweet smelling candles along the sink and warm two towels in the dryer.

“Bucky come here my love,” you called out as you were discarding your tactical gear and stepping into the shower. After a few minutes of no response from your blue-eyed lover, you peek your head around the shower curtain, glancing around the room in search of Bucky. Not being able to find him made your heart drop to the depths of your body, slipping out of the shower, wrapping your body in a towel, setting off to find him.

When you enter your shared bedroom that is attached to the bathroom your nerves settle, finding your lover stationed stagnant on the bed as if he had fallen asleep sitting up. You walk over and place your hand on his shoulder, only to be met with his metal hand gripping your wrist, twisting your arm behind your back and up against his chest.

“Bucky what’s going on?” you question, confused by the sudden force of violence he has used upon you. Apparently talking to him wasn’t the right move, seeing as you were now being shoved face-first against your bedroom wall, picture frames falling down from the force, glass shattering around the two of you. Gashes and cuts litter your face as blood begins to trickle down, seeping its way onto the white towel.

Your blood begins to run cold, soon realizing what exactly was going on, the mission had affected Bucky more than he had let on, more than you had realized. Being back in the cold of Russia, in the Hydra base had weakened Bucky, letting The Winter Soldier take main control of his mind and body. Struggling against the grasp that he had on you was no use, as the Soldat roughly turns you around shoving your back against the wall, bringing his metal appendage to wrap around your throat. Before his grasp became too tight you let out a blood-curdling scream, hoping someone would hear and come to your rescue. Black spots begin to speckle across your vision, breathing becoming more ragged as your limp body falls from the grasp of your lover.

________________________

Bright shining lights, hushed conversations, and the scent of sterilized tools are what you awoke to. Blinking slowly, allowing your eyes to adjust to the light you saw that you were in the infirmary located in the compound. Steve and Nat were at the door, indulging in a hushed conversation that you weren’t able to make out. Gently raising your body to sit up caused alarms to sound on the countless monitors that you were hooked up to, which made Steve and Nat’s heads whip around to see your terrified eyes.

Steve rushed to your side, “Y/N, are you okay? How are you feeling?”

You opened your mouth to speak, only to realize the tightness and dryness in your throat. Slowly you reached over to grasp the cup of water next to your bed, bringing it to your lips carefully, gulping down its contents quickly. “I’m okay, what happened” you rasped.

“You don’t remember?” Nat questioned, leading you to shake your head no. “Bucky attacked you, something from the mission…” she hesitated, “caused him to lose control on his mind and body, allowing for the Winter Soldier to resurface.”

“Where is he?” you didn’t care what had happened to you, bruises and cuts would heal with time, the emotional turmoil this would cause Bucky would simply break him. You needed to get to him before he realized what the Winter Soldier had done to you, ripping out your IV and removing your nose cannula, you swung your legs over the edge of the bed ready to find him.

Steve grasped your arm, pulling you back into bed, “He’s in bed, he hasn’t woken up yet, he doesn’t know…”

“Don’t tell him,” you begged, “Please don’t tell him, he will never forgive himself, let me handle it.” Steve and Nat shared a concerning glance between each other before slowly nodding, knowing that if and when Bucky finds out what happened, he would never forgive himself and would surely disappear.

After a few hours of tests, you were discharged and were able to go back to your room. Walking down the hallway your breath hitched as you hesitated opening up the door to your shared bedroom with your lover. Hearing his soft snores is what pulled you from the trance, twisting the knob and slipping in quietly. Discarding your clothing in the laundry basket, you crawled your way into bed, next to the man you recognized, smiling peacefully to yourself, you know in your heart that you two will be able to overcome this, as long as he never finds out he was the one to inflict so much harm upon you.

____________________________

The next morning you awoke to soft feather-light kisses being pressed along your spine. Contently you rolled over to snuggle closer to the warmth that radiated off of Bucky, welcoming arms encased you bringing you closer to his chest. Opening your eyes and slowly looking up at Bucky, you heard him inhale harshly, eyes filled with terror and worry. “What the hell happened to you doll?” he stuttered.

“Oh you don’t remember?” you questioned hesitantly, “I got caught up during the mission, some Hydra agents got to me but, you rescued me, my knight in shining armor you.” Letting out a breath you did not know you were holding, you stared at Bucky, praying to God that he believed you.

“No, I don’t remember that, I don’t remember much of the mission…” he trailed off, looking at you questionably. Slowly removing yourself from his grasp, you left the warmth of your bed, extending a hand out to him. “Come on, let's go eat,” you whispered, hoping he would drop the subject. Bucky intertwined his hand with yours, pulling himself out of bed, trekking down the hall to the kitchen where Steve, Nat, and Tony were chatting over breakfast.

“Good morning everyone,” cheerfully you skipped over to the fridge to get out the jam while Bucky grabbed the bread and peanut butter for your breakfast meal.

“Y/N what the hell happened to you?” Tony gasped when your mangled neck and face came into view.

“Oh nothing, just a few scratches from the mission, don’t worry I’m okay,” you replied, hoping everyone would just drop the subject.

“It wasn’t on the debrief, I read it just a few moments ago, care to explain this?” you felt four sets of eyes on you as you slowly turned around, hesitating on your next sentence you locked eyes with Nat and Steve wordlessly begging them for their help.

“Doll…” Bucky moved slowly near you, grabbing both of your hands, pulling you to look at him but, you couldn’t bear to look him in the eyes. Steve and Nat ushered Tony out of the kitchen with hushed whispers. A metal hand reached under your chin, lifting it and making you hold eye contact with Bucky. You open your mouth to start to try and explain but nothing comes out as tears slip down your cheeks. That was an answer enough for Bucky, to realize that the gashes and cuts on your face, the bruise that cascaded down your neck was him. “Did I…” Bucky’s eyes shifted to the floors, dropping your hands from his as he began to step back from you.

“Buck, honey it’s okay I’m okay,” you rushed out moving towards him, which only caused him to back himself up against the wall away from you. “It wasn’t you, this wasn’t your fault. You didn’t know how going there would affect you, no one could have predicted this.” As soon as those words slipped from your lips he was gone, rushing away from you.

_________________________

You didn’t see Bucky for the rest of the day, you decided to give him the space he needed, hoping that by the end of the night he would come back to you. Wait, that was all you were able to do. When dusk fell your day spent walled up in your room became unbearable, you slipped out of bed, letting your legs carry you to the living room of the compound where you found Steve. Sitting next to him startled him, causing him to look up at you with glossy bloodshot eyes.

“Steve, where’s Bucky?” you question, unsure why the soldier broke down in front of you. Mindlessly you wrapped your arms around him, cooing gently to him.

“He’s gone…” he muttered, “Bucky left this afternoon, to Wakanda.” Steve glanced up at you to see a play-by-play of your heart-shattering. “Shuri said she could get the Winter Soldier program out of him within some time, so he left.”

Wordlessly you curled into Steve’s arms, slowly realizing that the love of your life left you, without even saying goodbye or a promise of returning.

#bucky barnes fluff #soft bucky barnes #bucky fanfic #bucky imagine #bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #bucky barnes angst #marvel #sebastian stan #sebastian stan fluff #seb stan #tfatws

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chaoticpuff17 · 4 years ago

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A Dangerous Game

part 21

masterlist

Hello, darlings! Just for you, because I have no impulse control!-- chaotic puff

This time when she walked into the headquarters, she looked every inch the boss’ wife carrying herself with the detached arrogance of those that have power, granted she had none, but she knew how to fake it. This wasn’t a meeting she could go to as a meek little captive. She was walking into a cock fight of the grandest proportions, and she had to hold herself up as the most important person in the room even if she was nothing more than a bargaining chip.

She’d never been in Namjoon’s main office before, but the room was just as cold and imposing as the man himself. The tension crackling dangerously between the two groups of men in the room did nothing to help that either. Namjoon sat behind his desk with the two men who had ambushed her and Jackson flanking him while a man she did not know sat across from him flanked by a man she did not know… and Mark. She looked at the man in confusion only for him to throw her an impish wink.

The gesture did nothing to help the tension that hung heavy in the room. She and Jin could hear the shouting all the way down the hall. It was quite now that they were within the room, but the frigid tension remained.

“Jagiya, you look lovely.” Namjoon said with a cold smile standing to greet her as Jin took the jacket that he had insisted she wear draped over her shoulders for aesthetic purposes.

He held out a hand beckoning for her to join him, when the other man spoke. “I would prefer that, Miss Wang…”

“Mrs. Kim.” Namjoon corrected eyes narrowed dangerously though his tone was cordial enough.

“Miss Wang, be seated with her own family until this can all be sorted officially.” His voice had a stiffly formal lilt to it as he shot Namjoon a look almost as frigid as the one Namjoon had been giving him clearly unappreciative of the correction.

“She is not your family.” Namjoon growled his voice a low rumble and his jaw clenched in irritation.

“On the contrary.” The other man waved him off. “Our dear Jackson has claimed her as kin, and we protect our own.” He turning a disinterested gaze in her direction. “You must be quite something for Jackson to claim you as family and pull us all into this mess.”

“I’m not sure who adopted who.” She replied with a stiff smile of her own.

“Well that doesn’t matter now.” He waved her off. “What matters now is getting Jackson out of here, don’t you think?” She nodded hesitantly in reply. Something about the man that made her feel uneasy, but he claimed to be here for Jackson, and she needed all the help she could get on that front. “I’m Im Jaebum. You can call me JB. I’m the leader of GOT7.”

“Pleasure.” She kept a wary on him as she seated herself in the open chair to the left of him. “How do you know, Jackson?”

“Jackson is my brother.” He smirked. “A loyal member of GOT7.”

“Jackson left the mafia behind.” She narrowed her eyes at him, plastering on a cold smile that could have put both of the crime lords’ to shame.

The man shrugged clearly unbothered by her frigid attitude. “He’s been a little wayward, but he’s still our brother, and I’ve come to negotiate his release.” He turned his gaze to Namjoon again. “Can we see him now?”

“I don’t know why you had to summon her here.” Namjoon grumbled pinching the bridge of his nose.

“I wanted to see the girl that got Jackson into this mess. Now, if you could return Jackson?”

“Hoseok.” He addressed the redheaded man stationed behind him. “Bring him in.”

Despite Namjoon’s promise not to hurt him, the man that Hoseok brought in was in worse condition than the man she had left behind just the night before.

“Jackson!” She shrieked running to him kneeling by his side where Hoseok had dropped him on his knees. “You promised you wouldn’t hurt him!” She shot an accusing glare at Namjoon before she turned her attention back to the battered man beside her. “What have they done to you?” She whispered gently hovering over the bruises and cuts that dotted his face.

“Hey, Y/N.” He gave her a goofy smile making her tutt and fuss in disapproval.

“He proved to be quite difficult to subdue after your visit yesterday.” Namjoon’s reply was so careless that it set everyone who did not work for him on edge.

“This was not our deal.” She hissed as Mark and JB’s other man came to lift Jackson up to his feet.

“I thought you were made of stronger stuff than this.” Mark joked allowing the other man to lean on him.

“Yeah well the little one has a mean swing.” He growled looking towards the dark haired man standing bored over Namjoon’s shoulder.

Namjoon smirked clearly not at all sorry for the damage that had been inflicted. “Yoongi was only trying to keep your man from damaging himself further. He was in quite a state when we left him last night.” False sympathy dripped from his tone like poisoned honey. “You should have taught him to keep his hands to himself.”

“None of this would have happened if you could keep control of your woman.” JB scoffed glaring disdainfully at Namjoon. “Though you have to admire her spunk. She’d fit to be a member of GOT7’s family, don’t you think? Shame she has to be your wife.”

“That was the agreement.” Namjoon growled his eyes darting to her before returning to the other crime leader.

Her head snapped back and forth between the two men dread curling in her belly. “What are you talking about?”

JB turned to her his smile more slimy than anything else. “You see, Y/N, as you are a member of our clan thanks to Jackson, I’ve taken it upon myself as leader of the clan to arrange your marriage for the good of the clan. Jackson was never in any real danger. He just needed the proper push to come home. And you... you are a peace offering for the trouble Jackson has caused with Bangtan in the past few weeks.”

She took a step back stumbling as if someone had dealt her a blow. “What are you talking about?”

“RM wanted you, and I wanted Jackson back. And this way, I get to make a powerful alliance in the process.” He shrugged.

“Jackson?”

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” He called desperately reaching out to her only to have her recoil violently.

“Don’t touch me, you rat bastard!”

Jackson winced, flinching back from her words. “Y/N, please. I was just trying to protect you.”

“You’re still a part of the mafia?” She asked. He nodded. Y/N scoffed, eyes wide and disbelieving as she stared at him. “You told me you left.”

“Y/N…”

“You told me you left it behind.”

“Little bear...”

“Don’t call me that! I trusted you!” She shouted backing away further. “I let… I let him… I… because you… but you were…” She stumbled trying to grasp what had happened, trying to fight down the bile that was rising in her throat. Jackson was quickly at her side supporting her despite his own injuries. “Don’t touch me!” She shrieked flinging him away from her ignoring his wounded expression as she did so.

Her mind was reeling trying to process all the information. Jackson was part of the mafia. Jackson had lied to her. “Did you know?” She hissed.

“Y/N.” He reached for her again only for her to back further away, unconsciously moving closer to Namjoon who was carefully watching the interaction. “I didn’t...”

“Did you know?” She screamed.

“I just asked for help. I couldn’t find you, and he had you. I didn’t mean for this…”

“No.” She whimpered her heart breaking as she looked at the man she had called her brother for so long. “How could you? Do you know what I... what he...?”

“Y/N.” He called pleadingly.

“How could you! After everything!”

“Y/N.” Namjoon called standing up to move around the desk in her direction making the decision to intercede. He’d seen enough of her distress.

She whirled on him. “You already got what you wanted.” She spat before turning her burning glare back on Jackson and his ilk.

“Think of it this way,” JB drawled seemingly bored by the dramatics. “Jackson gets to be free and rejoin the family where he belongs, and you get to have beautiful white wedding compliments of your new family.”

Without thinking, Y/N swiped up the letter opener from the desk and prepared to plunge it into his smug face. In that moment, she hated JB far more than she hated Namjoon. He was playing with lives without a care. He’d played with her life without even knowing who she was. At least Namjoon had met her before he’d started to toy with her life.

The letter opener did make contact, just not with its intended recipient. Namjoon had moved in front of her taking the blow to the shoulder instead of the letter opener meeting with JB’s throat. Fortunately for him, the letter opener was not very sharp, though it had pierced through his suit and made a decent cut on his shoulder.

Y/N dropped the letter opener letting it fall the carpet with an unceremonious thud. She stared at the wound for a moment, blinking in a daze as her eyes slowly rose to meet Namjoon’s tight lipped grimace. She’d stabbed him, she realized. She’d really stabbed him, and in that moment all she could think of was that it was a pity the wound wasn’t more substantial.

“Boss?” Hoseok called moving to come forward, but Namjoon waved him off.

“Jagi.” He murmured softly hands coming up to gently cup her face forcing her to look at him. Her eyes were wide and dazed still, strangely empty. “Jagiya.”

“Y/N.” Jackson limped forward a few steps but stopped as she flinched curling herself into Namjoon’s arms much to Jackson’s displeasure and Namjoon’s delight. “Y/N, please.”

It all left a bitter taste in her mouth. Jackson’s lies. JB’s battering her like cattle. Allowing Namjoon to take her over and over again just hours before. It was all suddenly too much.

“Take me home.” She whimpered into Namjoon’s chest.

“Okay…” He whispered placing a soft kiss to her head. “Yoongi, would you grab Jin please?” Her hold on his suit tightened bringing a frown to Namjoon’s face. “On second thought, I’ll take her home myself.” He turned his gaze on his rival gang. “Bangtan will handle the wedding preparations. Take you filth and go. Keep him away from my wife.”

“We’ll see you at the wedding then.” JB nodded standing and coming over to them pulling a lacquered box out of his suit pocket. “This is for you.” He spoke handing the box to Y/N though she didn’t take it. “It’s a symbol of your membership in the clan.” He opened the box pulling out a silver hairpin decorated with a single white jade calla lily on the end before sliding it into her up-do. “Welcome to the family.” He smirked motioning his men to follow him out. “It’s been a pleasure doing business with you.”

Namjoon’s attention immediately turned back to her as soon as they had left the room. “Jagi?” He cooed handling her delicately as though she was fragile, and maybe she was. There was only so much the human psyche could take before it cracked.

“Take me home.” She whimpered. “Please just… just take me home.”

part 22

#bts #bts fic #yandere bts #got7 #namjoon #namjoon x reader #mafia namjoon #yandere namjoon #yandere #soft yandere #mafia #mafia au #rm x reader #rm #a dangerous game #fanfic

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singingforthepromises · 4 years ago

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fruits basket manga lb (chs 131 - 133)

CH 131

We’re learning about the origins of the curse now. Oh boy.

The cat went to God first ;A;

omg the cat died first....

God saved it!

Oh, the cat didn’t want to have eternal life... and the others and God took that as rejection.... seriously? So petty, honestly. I love learning about how it happened but I’m just like... wtf. It’s like all of this generational trauma could’ve all been avoided if God and the animals hadn’t misinterpreted shit LOl

YUKI’S CRYING ;A;

I totally understand Yuki’s feelings here. It must be hard. You’re free, but you’re also letting go of something that was a part of you for so long, something that helped shaped who you are, no matter how negative a situation.

AH AJSFJSJF HE CAN HUG HER NOW OH MY GOD I TOTALLY FORGOT IM SOBBING

MACHI IS SO CUTE

She’s calling him by his first name KSFJSJFJSF

AHHH THEY KISSED! ENDGAME YUCHI! <3

“When did that promise turn into a curse?” What I’ve been asking since since the very beginning rofl

AKDGDKG KYO’S SHOWING KAZUMA HIS BARE ARM IM ;A;

KAZUMA IS SO HAPPY SJJDG

Haru and Rin!! <3

omg look at Tohru pulling on Kyo’s shirt how cute

is Tohru gonna see Akito? <3

SHE’S HUGGING HER! I LOVE THIS! I love that Akito can see that even after the curse has been lifted, Tohru wasn’t lying about being there for her, about being her friend. Akito needed this, honestly. I’m very happy with the resolution of their rivalry. I’m happy with how the curse broke.

“The Cat’s wish... wasn’t granted... until much, much later.” IM CRYINGGG

CH 132

Starting the last volume... this is so depressing, I don’t want this story to be over.

Akigure time, lol.

Oh is this the final banquet?

IT’S SO NICE TO SEE RITSU AGAIN!! <333

“Things might be a bit tense.” Oh, I’m sure. I don’t think it’s all going to be sunshine and daisies. Akito may be behaving a hell of a lot better and changed her ways, but there’s still a lot of pain here, pain that she directly caused. I’m interested to see how this is going to go.

LOL @ momiji calling Kyo a cheater we love to see familial teasing!

I love that they’re not all awkward around each other. It just goes to show that a lot of their genuine personalities poked through even among the curse. They all do have a bond, curse or no curse. And it’s very nice to see Kyo being actually included in that bond.

lool fucking Ayame, man. I love him.

Aww is Yuki kinda sorta looking out for Kyo around Ayame? I love this.

HAHA

“Akito’s ready to see you.” sfjsjfsj

OH WOW.

Look at her? She looks so pretty?

RITSU LMFAO

Oh, Shigure got her that kimono.

Yeaaah, this is what I’m worried about with Akigure as a ship. Akito’s better, but she still has a tendency to fly off the handle if she thinks she’s being slighted, and it makes me worried about how they would handle dispites and arguments without getting physical like that, you know? I’d hope that she’d do it less and less as time goes on.

“All of you are free. And this may come too late, but for everything... I’m...” Oh my god. Is she trying to apologize?

She can’t, though. It won’t come out. I bet she probably feels like sorry isn’t enough, in some ways. How do you apologize for a lifetime of suffering that you’ve caused, the trauma inflicted on other people?

I guess Akigure are official, lol. I mean, I’m glad that Akito’s getting a somewhat happy ending. Shigure, I still don’t like him but he’s a fantastic character.

Akito’s gonna stay at the estate and be the head without keeping anyone shackled to her. That’s as good of an ending as I could’ve anticipated for her. I’ll be honest: I still feel like she got off a little easy. She should’ve faced some legal consequences, at least. But I don’t dislike her like I used to. She’s definitely come around and I’ve partially forgiven her.

I’ll talk more about my feelings about Akito and everything once I’ve finished, but that’s where I am right now.

CH 133

AHHH KYORU. THEY’RE OFFICIAL!

loool who is Mayu talking about?

OH Yuki and the others know about Akito being a female now? Nice!

“I can’t believe I was so violent... to a girl.” KYO. MY BOY. Omg what a sweetheart? Honey, she was violent to you, too.

“The last thing I wanted was another guy interested in you.” LMFAOOOO

YUKI’S DYING

“The mood between the two of them has become somewhat gentler than before.” Somewhat? Girl, they’re friends now, and I’m loving it. It’s so cute.

“He beat the crap outta me.” YES LOL

“Kyo-kun smiles more than he used to. I’ve come to realize that this is his true self.” ;A;

oh my gosh THEY’RE SO CUTE.

How are they even cuter now that they’re dating?!

“Walking together, hand in hand, isn’t something that I’ll ever take for granted.” I’m cryinggggg. ;a; My babies.

NOT TALK OF A KYORU BABY MY HEART CAN ONLY HANDLE SO MUCH.

AND GRANDPA KAZUMA!! HE’D DOTE ON THAT KID!

What’s wrong with my bby girl Isuzu? :(

“Not everyone... is in the same situation.” Ah, yeah...

“How can you act like nothing ever happened? She did all kinds of nasty stuff to Kyo. And she hurt you a lot too. Those wounds will never disappear, will they?” I 1000% understand Rin here. I was waiting for this to be brought up!

Oh, Isuzu, my poor girl.

This might change later on, but as of right now, I don’t fully forgive Akito, either. There’s just too much that she did to too many people. Like Rin, like Yuki, like Kyo. Even Hatori. I’m generally a forgiving person, but I have a hard time with abusive characters. Maybe it’s from my own past, being a survivor of abuse. Being around it and knowing how they are just impacts you differently, I guess. I don’t know if it’s right to say that maybe people who haven’t experienced abuse are able to forgive easier.

I haven’t forgiven my abuser, and I never will. Do I still understand why they did it, why they are who they are, and do I still empathize? YES. I feel a lot for people. I feel a lot for Akito on a positive note, and I’m so proud of her progression. She’s a hurt woman who deserved better and who hurt people because she was in so much pain herself. She hasn’t been able to break free of her abuser or heal yet. She needs a safe space to do that, and she’s beginning to learn to be better and be a sweeter person. Tohru showed her that.

But like Rin, I can’t fully forgive her. If Tohru hadn’t done what she did, hadn’t reached out to Akito, Akito never would’ve changed. She would’ve continued to be horrible and not feel regret for the things she’s done. I appreciate that she was trying to apologize, though. And there are things that I’ve forgiven her for. It’s the worst indiscretions that I can’t. How she treated Rin and Yuki, specifically. I know that she was projecting with Rin. But Rin was a child and an abuse victim herself. Out of all of them, Akito could’ve related to her. Akito knew. She used that instead to hurt Rin, and that is the one thing that I’ll never be okay with.

“They’ll need time. A whole lot.” Yes. And even then, it may not be enough. Some scars run so fucking deep that even time doesn’t help. I’ve healed from my trauma. It doesn’t impact me anymore. I’ve learned how to cope and move on and now utilize those skills to help others. I think time will help, though, and it may allow others to forgive Akito later.

Distance is the key here, I think. If they’re not around her, maybe forgiveness will come easier.

Wow, Akito taking what she learned from Tohru and reaching out to the maid? We love to see it.

#fruits basket #fruits basket spoilers #fruits basket manga #fruits basket manga spoilers #liveblogging #abuse tw #because i discuss it

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pillowfluffs · 4 years ago

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Please Don’t Take My Sunshine Away | Lee Wonho

Pairing: Wonho X Reader (gender neutral)

Genre: sadness ;-; mafia???

Author’s Note: It’s time I get back into writing, right? ah ha ha im sorry wonho stans also i really miss ot7 🥺🥺 I wish him and MX the best of luck for the future. I also suggest listening to his debut single: Losing You while reading

WARNINGS! Vivid imagery of wounds and injuries! Blood!! death!

Smoke trailed up into the cold night sky, snowflakes silently falling onto the slippery, icy road. He mustered all the energy he had into his arms, ignoring the pain in his abdomen and legs. Glass shards protruded from his chest, gashes around his waist and one from his head. The area was silent, the atmosphere still making it feel like time was slowing down. Frost and snow covered the land and trees that lined the road, one that wasn’t particularly used by many, potholes and cracks now concealed and filled by the ice and snow. Snow did what it always did and fell silently, covering the world with its wintry beauty.

Not even the moon shined, only a vague light of the moon did through the clouds but the only source of light around him now was one of the headlights of the car as it laid sideways, the other broken. Little things and pieces of the totaled car fell to the ground, the glass from the windows and windshields crunching beneath his body. He laid himself on his back, his mind numb to all the pain searing through his body.

He felt nothing.

It hurt to breathe, the coldness was sinking deeper and deeper as he laid in the sludge of melted snow on the side of the road. Without even looking, he could only imagine how red he was dyeing the snow all around him. No trees swayed, no winds passed by. There was nothing around, no one around. He was completely alone and no one would be coming. They made sure of it and made sure the job was done.

Getting into his car, the first thing Wonho did after starting it was to turn on the heaters and the seat warmer in his driver’s seat. His windows were fogged from the cold, frost creeping around the edges. He sat in the cold leather seat in the dark, blowing into his cupped hands around his mouth, occasionally rubbing them. Even through the sweatpants he wore, the cold went right through to his skin. He could see light traces of his breath in the cold car as it warmed up.

Driving away from headquarters on the beaten road, remnants of snow from others who had shoveled the roads all day crunches beneath the tires as he drove, the steering wheel cold as ice under his dry hands. The streets were barren, silent and still as he drove through, the area looking like it was a picture. He passed by buildings that were abandoned long ago, windows and doors boarded up or smashed in. The walls of them were worn from weathering after years with no one to treat them, cracks all around the walls. As he drove away, the road got bumpier and bumpier as he drove over untouched snow on the road.

He drove cautiously over the dipper road entering an area filled with trees, a back road that was uncommonly used by others. Tall trees lined both sides of the narrow, straight road that stretched for miles. It made the trip home longer but it was safer than driving in the open through the city, especially for Wonho. He focused on driving, trying his best to stay on the road as snow fell onto his windshield, even listening to the radio that played soft songs, the sound almost covered by the blasting heater that made the car nice and warm, the hot air burning against his hands on the old lacquered wood steering wheel.

A hard collision from behind pushed his car into the side of the road, the wheels being pushed over the tree roots beneath the snow, making the car roll. He held onto the steering wheel the best he could but it happened so suddenly. Pain bloomed all over his body as he did his best to get out of his upside down, dragging his body over the broken glass all around. The shards crunched beneath his weight, his breathing weak and staggering. His frozen breaths puffed into the oblivion sky, the snow falling onto his face and body as it came down in silence. The cold all around him felt different. It was the type that reached into his bones but he couldn’t tell if it was really because his bones were exposed from his wounds or if it was just that cold. But it also felt like the cold was causing him more pain than his wounds. He laid on his back, his lungs struggling to breathe through the feeling of his lungs freezing, the snow and sludge around his hands numbing his fingertips, turning them stiff. He could feel the cold wetness seep through his clothes to his body, at the roots of his hair on his head as he laid, breathing.

He could feel his heart weakening as it beat in his chest, his body pulsating with every beat. He was losing blood and his blood flow was slowing down. Shakily, he reached for the zipper in his jacket pocket, struggling to find it from the coldness pricking him, but after what felt like an hour to him, he was able to unzip his pocket. Small tiny pieces of his glass cut and prodded at the skin on his hand, making him bleed even more as he weakly pulled out his phone. Te device was dented and the screen shattered. Turning his head and resting his arm holding his phone on the ground, his face was illuminated by the near broken device and the first thing he saw was a picture of you, making his lips twitch even when he couldn’t really feel anything anymore. His thumb hesitated as he faced the dial screen as large snowflakes pelted his face and body and everything all around. He couldn’t bring himself to call anyone from the clan after seeing the last four percent of battery he had. He was one of the last to leave and everyone else was long gone. There would be no one who could reach him in time before he bled out. After making up his mind, he pressed the one contact he was sure he wanted to call.

“Wonho?” Your voice was groggy being woken up from sleep. You laid still in bed in the dark, holding your phone to your face. “Are you home yet?” You asked stifling a yawn.

“I’ll be coming home a bit late,” he said weakly, sounding tired to you. “I was wondering…” He scrunched his eyes shut at the sharp pain that pierced him from the side as he moved just the slightest bit, biting back his yelps of pain. You couldn’t know. He didn’t want to worry you. “Could you do me a favor?” He asked, trying his best to sound as normal as he could, praying you couldn’t hear the car smoking in the back or the sound of wind blowing around him.

“What is it?” You asked, just a slightly but more awake.

“Could you sing for me that song? The one I like to hear you sing?”

“What for?” Curiosity piqued as you now opened your eyes to the wide dark room, his spot in bed empty beside you.

“I just wanted to hear you… so will you?”

“I could sing it when you come home but I don’t really know about right now… my voice isn’t exactly the best right now.” You sat up, stroking one o this pillows, the soft fabric like a cloud beneath your fingertips.

“Please,” he urged, sounding just the bit desperate. It was a song he often found your singing whenever he came home late. It wasn’t an original but that didn’t matter to him. He loved you and the sound of your voice as you spoke or laughed or yelled at him or cried, he loved everything about you. He loves your soul and saw it as a blessing in real life in the heinous world he was etched into.

“Fine,” you caved. You learned your throat and made an effort to sound the best you could.

“The other night dear, as I lay sleeping, I dreamed I held you in my arms…” He turned up the volume as much as he could, closing his eyes and letting his imagination take him away from the numbness of his body, imagining him holding you in his arms in the dark kitchen one last time, his body swaying slowly with yours to music only the two of you could hear. He followed the words you sang, your voice honey and raw in his ears, savoring every bit of it. “But when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken, so I hung my head and I cried.” Cried. The sadness that was etched into your face when he came home to you beaten up and bruised, the panic you had in your teary eyes and the way your lips quivered as you managed him up, your tears dripping off your chin and the way your hands trembled.

It was a sight he never wanted to see, a pain he never meant to inflict on you.

“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy, when skies are gray…” The way the last light of sun shined on your skin made you seem ethereal to him. The way you smiled, your nose scrunching just the slightest bit. Even as it hailed outside, hearing your laugh as it echoed around the spacious yet cozy living room, it was a laugh he could listen to on repeat and never get tired of. There wasn’t any problem you couldn’t help make easier for him by being beside him. “You’ll never know dear, how much I love you… Please don’t take-“ your voice was cut off as his phone died in his ear. Bringing the phone away, he discarded it to the side, as darkness blurred the corners of his visions.

With his final breath, he mustered up the energy, regardless of the pain he felt, ignoring everything to finish the line. “Please don’t take my sunshine away…” He closed his eyes, letting these be his final words, the image of you being the last thing he saw before his heart stopped beating, the pain no longer plaguing his body anymore.

~~~~~ Masterlist for more! Thank you for reading!

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mysticmeadowscamp · 5 years ago

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Analogical but they also are love their bffs

I… dont know what this is, it started as Analogical but also Roman and Patton are there cause I love them and was just going with whatever my fingers typed cause idk how to write? Anyway, here?? Have this?? (BTW Im lowkey headcanoning logan and veevee as demiromantics in this but read it as you wish it to be)

Logan approached Virgil the beginning of their second year of college with a question.

“I mean, full disclosure Lolo- I like you and love you platonically, but I don’t have a crush on you right now. I still think I’d like to date, but just-- uh.” Virgil fiddled with the sleeves of their hoodie nervously. “Full disclosure. That’s… that’s where I’m at.”

Logan smiled, offering a hand and unconsciously letting his face grow into a grin when his gremlin took it and squeezed gently. “That’s fine, Veevee. There's no pressure, and I won’t be angry if we broke it off. But I- I’d like to see where it goes, if you want that too.”

The blush that rose on their Lolo’s cheeks at the confession drew a slightly mischievous smile out of Virgil. They leaned down and planted a kiss on Logan’s cheek before drawing back, both of them now bright red.

“Okay, lets see where it goes, then.”

“Veevee, hand me the spatula will you?”

“No, I still have to make the other pancakes.”

“But what if it falls before we’re done cooking the other ones?”

“We can poison ourselves with ceiling germs some other time Lolo, Roman’s here.”

“I would really rather you two not poison yourselves ever but I do appreciate the sentiment,” Roman, watching two of three of his gremlins as they tried to scrape pancake off the ceiling. Apparently neither of them were very apt at flipping pancakes spatula-less, and this is not the first time this had happened.

“We would never think of inflicting you to the trials we put our own bodies through, Roman,” Logan assures, which really does nothing to assure Roman at all but at this point he only sighs and downs another third of his coffee.

Logan takes the supposed opportunity of Roman’s covered vision to plant a kiss on Virgil’s head, which earns him an affectionate smack on the arm. Logan wobbles dangerously on the chair he climbed on, bent over as he is to reach Virgil, but steadies himself and crouches lower when Virgil beckons to receive a peck on the lips.

Roman sees all of this over the top of his mug, holding back the instinct to run over and keep Logan from falling and the fond chuckle that would alert the nerds to their audience.

The two of them had settled together well the past few months, and while they were still odd with expressing affection too openly in front of the group there were moments that Roman got to witness that made his heart sing for the happiness of his friends. There had been a bit of tension when they had told everyone they were dating, no one quite escaping the awkward feeling that came with change and a bit worried about what might happen if things somehow ended badly.

There hadn’t been reason to worry though, Roman reflected. It seemed the relationship between the gremlins had only strengthened their communication. Watching them move around one another, not quite seamless in the tiny apartment kitchen but with such knowing, such gentle, playful affection, comparing that to the first time Roman had met the both of them--

Roman couldn’t have stopped the delighted grin from forming on his face if he had bothered to try.

He jumped when a dishrag was launched at his face.

“What's with the goofy look?” Logan, his best friend, smiling unconsciously at him, asked and Roman couldn’t help but brighten even more. “If you’re going to look like sunshine incarnate you’ll have to leave my kitchen. It’s too precious, you’ll steal my partner.”

“My kitchen now Lolo,” Virgil poked at their boyfriend’s sides, pushing him out of the kitchen. “Roman can’t steal me anyway, we have aro/ace solidarity. You could never understand how deep our bond is.” Virgil nodded solemnly at Roman, and Roman indulgently nodded back.

“This is betrayal, where is my pan solidarity. I’m wounded, hurt even,” Logan deadpanned, and then when Virgil giggled he melted into such a dopey look that Roman couldn’t hold back his laughter.

“Come over here Logan, get your pan/aro solidarity,” Logan eagerly went to collect Roman hugs.

“Now who’s betraying who?” Virgil pouted, but perked up dramatically and went running for the door when it opened, immediately launching themself at Patton. Patton caught them with ease and the two twirled in their hug before Patton settled them in one of his arms. Virgil very pointedly stuck their tongue out at Logan, who gasped and swooned back against Roman.

“Hey Virgil! Hey Logan, Roman! I brought the blowtorch!” Patton waved the plastic bag holding a suspicious lump inside it and Virgil whooped joyously.

“Oh, sweet! Also, come help me get the pancake off the ceiling.”

Roman dropped his forehead onto Logan’s shoulder and groaned, Logan shaking with laughter at his pain.

Roman wondered what the hell he was supposed to do with a confiscated blowtorch.

This is SO wholesome and goofy im love it sm dhdbdbnd

Dont you love Patton just chillin with a blowtorch

#submission #campfire fics #campfire!vee #campfire!nate #campfire!florian #campfire!patton #cf!navee

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mental-health-advice · 3 years ago

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Hi! Im 21 now, and ive come too finally start too put my mental health first and set boundries with when im feeling depressed, anxious etc. Since i didnt do that in my teens and i can see mo hownit affects me greatly; like how lost i was and how i would try too please everyone and sometimes act a certain way cause i thought it would make people like me or it was normal etc. And i have a few close friends, and i enjoy being with them and all that. But is it normal too finally realise that you now enjoy being alone more ? Also that you arent as close as you used too be as teens and maybe growing and changing also effects that but youre still friends? (I hope that makes sense). I’m trying too be more open with them with how i used too feel in the past and now about my mental health and how i felt/feel, so they can understand me better. And im still anxious too talk too them about my feelings and also lettinf them know how i want too forget some of my past because the reminders cause me too get triggered and have obssessive ruminating thoughts that are negative and make me think i am a bad person. And this includes asking them if i can delete photos/videos of myself from back then off their phones because i dont feel comfortable with them and how thinking about it is making me anxious, do you have any advice for how too do that?. Also i know that back then in my early/middle teens when like one or two people hurt me it did cause me too be a bit bitter and also effect my mh so sometimes i would then be bitter towards them after (which now i feel awful and guilty for) and take out those insecurities that were hit. — i know people say past mistakes, especially in your teens dont define who you are now and that you can forgive yourself, recognise them and how they were regretful or wrong and move on but i cant seem too stop obssesive over negative ruminating thoughts that im a bad person etc. And im beating myself up so much about it. And i think im making it seem worse then it is cause im now stuck in this depressive anxiety mode from it all, and im really trying too calm myself down and distract mysef. But its like i cant rememeber how i used too think before all this anxiety and stuff, and i cant ground myself or distract myself. And i think its probably because i havent talked too my friends or my sister either (who i love and feel comfortable with ) yet and got it off my chest. And i know i have too wait until they are free too meet up and all this but the longer it is the worse all my anxiety gets :( and i just want too control it and feel normal before i finally get too see and talk too them, Im trying too be gentle with myself but its hard. Sorry if this is long! I have a lot more anxieties and stuff i have too get off my chest and will probably put it in another ask. It feels lighter already too write this out and i am looking forward too all your advice and words😊 thank you for this blog and helping people!

Hey there,

Choosing to set boundaries with friends, with anyone really, is a really big step. Sometimes it can take people their whole life to realise how important making and having boundaries in place with people can be!

As we grow older and leave school, it is to be expected that we will move on from some friends, make new ones, and sometimes even grow further apart or closer to those people we grew up with. This all depends on our lives and interests and how things change for us, the directions we take in life and how they may differ from those we grew up with from our childhood or throughout our schooling. It is also normal that as we grow up we may prefer to be alone more than what we once were and this is completely normal and you are definitely not alone with this!

It can be so hard to learn to let others in no matter how much we want to and especially when sharing something with them that is so personal like our mental health struggles and how we are feeling or have felt in the past. I totally get that somethings that you went through in your past, you just want to forget, I think we all have some of those moments and I know it will be hard but can you just be honest as much as you feel comfortable with your friends? Maybe just by telling them that some of the past photos and videos of you that have been taken, that you are no longer comfortable with them and if they could please delete them. A good friend will listen to you and will not ask questions or make you give them an explanation as to why. A good friend will just be there for you and listen to you when/ if you want to talk and I think that if you do this then it will define just who your good friends are and who isn’t. Unfortunately you cannot make someone delete anything off of their phones but it’s completely OK and in your right to ask them too. Does that make sense?

When we have things that have happened in our past, whether they be good or bad, inflicted upon us by another person or not, it can be difficult to move on from those experiences and be OK with them. Yes you are right in saying that your past doesn’t define you, but you can use your past experiences to help you make better decisions for you in the present moment and your future and so maybe you could look at things from a different perspective? For example, use past mistakes to help you learn from them and not make the same mistakes again, grow from those mistakes to help make you a stronger and better person because of it. Does that make sense? Yes the ruminating thoughts may still be there, but if you try to look at things a little bit differently and use these ruminating thoughts to your advantage then maybe just maybe they won’t bother you as much or take up as much time in your head? Just something to think about!

I do not think that you are being a terrible person at all, I just think that you have been through a lot in your life and that now it’s all just getting to be a little too much and overwhelming as you are finding. I think this because you use to find it easier to distract yourself, calm your thoughts and to use grounding techniques. So maybe it’s time to go back to basics and go from there? Doing this doesn’t mean that you are weak or a failure, it simply just means that you have a lot going on right now and sometimes we all need some extra help and guidance to help us to get back to where we want to be in life.

When it comes to calming yourself down a good first step is to try to control your breathing and slow it down. We actually have a page on calming anxiety and panic which I encourage you to take a look at as it has a lot of helpful hints and different techniques on it. We also have a page on different grounding techniques which you can check out by clicking here. When you are in a better headspace then you will find that using different distractions will become a little bit easier, we just need to get you to that calm, better head space which I am hoping those above pages will help you to do.

It can be hard to do the above though when you have anxieties or stressors over not being able to see or catch up with friends or your sister. I can imagine that this may be made even hard with the pandemic. Can you call them though or shoot them a txt message? I know it isn’t the same as seeing them face-to-face but it may just be enough to help decrease some of your anxiety. What do you think? Also it’s important to know that when you do see them finally, just be yourself. They won’t care if you are anxious or are not doing the best, they will accept you for simply who you are and will be wanting to support you and be there for you because they care.

I really hope that all of this has helped a bit and please do send us in another Ask if you need to and of course let us know if we can help to support you in any other way!

I’m thinking of you and hope that you are going OK!

Take care,

Lauren

#mha-lauren #advice #advice blog #mental health advice #anonymous #boundaries #friends #anxiety #depression

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confessinbouthanson · 5 years ago

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“ an open letter to everyone about zac

i just found out about this a few days ago, i have looked at the twitter account that posted screenshots, i have been to the reddit. and i feel like i must still be missing something? nowhere did i see anything like f**k n******s /jews/trans people ect. i saw a lot of republican support and gun humor…that were posted on his PRIVATE ACCOUNTS . there WILL be people in this world who do out and do and say things that offend YOU. be an adult and move on. dont stalk, shame, harass or start an online rampage on 3 websites causing the person involved to turn off comments and his wife to straight up leave. who do YOU people think you are? you think you have the right to do that because youve been a ‘fan’ since '97 so your entitled to bash him? because hes a celebrity? hes still human he has the right to privacy and makes mistakes.if your so offended they didnt post blm or anything like that guess what alot of other celebrities and bands didnt eaither. some people dont want to post anything about it because its very controversial and last i checked hanson is not about contravercy. zac stated the bitter truth him posting blm will not stop it from happening again, just like celebrities donating money wont stop it. the way this generation of kids are raised will and so will changing laws .thats it. he didnt makes those memes he reposted them. they have been on the internet forever alot of other people reposted them too. again most of what i saw was gun humor and republican support ect. not for everyone. some people are die hard republicans and will vote for the candidate JUST because they want their party to win, does not matter who it is or what they stand for. you cant just say oh hes a trump supporter so hes racist. you sound so ignorant. people want to twist things and make things much bigger than they are.if i missed a post saying n******rs and je*s /tans gays ect suck and need to die or anything along those lines please share id love to see. and all of you saying how can kate put up with him ect and how their first few years were shaky, post proof of that too. how the hell would you know what goes on behind closed doors?do you live with them? even if they did have a rough start, every relationship has growing pains esp when you are young. everyone who is a 'fanson’ should already know blues, jazz motown-mostly black artists were huge influence on hanson. they have worked with many black aritsts. just like anyone who is a 'fanson’ should know they are DEVOUT greek orthodox christians. ie: very very oldschool stream of Christianity that follows the OLD testiment, basic Christianity follows the new testimate ie: living through the example of jesus , jesus loves everyone gay straight black white ect look into it, the believes ect. its their right to live that way if thats what they choose to do, alot of religions do look down on gays trans ect and truely belive you will go to hell for it because the way the testimate is written and translated. very duggar esq. some strains of that dont even allow the women to wear pants and you can only eat certain foods on certain days ect. again if thats his beliefs thats his beliefs.not everyone supports those lifestyles just because the internet popularized them. hell mainstream tv was sill making stereotype jokes about gays up until like 6 years ago. i saw no uproar online about celebrities that follow kabballah (the red bracelets) no half of you dont even know what that REALLY is, no you just wear the bracelet because its trendy and your fav celeb wears it. im not even gonna sit here and be all like 'well he is from oklahoma and alot of people are biggots there' because guess what? its like that everywhere. ive lived all over the country and it is like that in small towns and large citys. north south east west. and kate posting things on her ig about not supporting planned parenthood, well although they do offer many medical services they also preform abortions. again religious and republican people have a very big issue with that. and shes from ga so maybe she had family that were confederate soldiers which is why she said save the flag. im not saying this is right or not disgusting, im saying there are all kinds of people in the world and you CAN NOT hate, harass, bully ect someone because they dont believe the same stuff you do. it does not matter they are a celebrity dont even go there with them having a 'responsibility’ the ONLY thing they are responsible for is what made them famous-making music. you guys went out of your way to stalk him and invade his privacy, you had a certain image of him in your minds and put him on a pedestal and when he proved it to be wrong, now your pissed off. you all need to grow the fuck up. what are you gonna go through life bashing everyone that does not drop their beliefs for whats socially popular? posting memes does not mean hes a straight up ass in person to people that are black, gay, trans, fat ect. actions speak louder than words. i dont care for the movie american hisotry x because most of it is very racist and violent, but the MESSAGE of the movie shows that a person can be involved in a group, live a certain way, believe certain things to the point where the inflict DEATH on someone and tattoo their entire body with racist tattoos, but then change their lives and be remorseful once they break free. its like a drug addict. if you hang around the same group of people, do not change your contact info, no matter how hard your desperately want to get sober, you wont. because you need to change your lifestyle . it is absolutely no secret that walker and diana dictate all those kids lives, everything about them, including who they married. the guys and the girls. walker worked with natalies family member, not directly but they were contacts, they met they had similar beliefes, and had $$$$$ kates family also has $$$$$$ so does everyone elce that married into that family . unless your rich and have similar lifestyle you never had a chance girls. youd have to be preapproved by mom and dad. dont you think its odd zac never had a girlfriend that was the friend of one of his brothers? marrion , kate and another girl who im not even gonna mention because honestly none of you know who she is anyway lol.

it takes all kinds of people in this world. if you like their music you like their music. half the celebrities musicians youlook up to and admire have EXTREMELY different lives behind closed doors and because you dont know about it its fine. what they do at the end of the day in private is up to them . just like what you do is up to you are you people prefect? i doubt it.”

#confession #hanson #hanson fans #zac hanson #hanson family #open letter

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scav-eng-er · 5 years ago

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“If Nothing Else, We Have This.” TROS Alternate Ending 4/?

GUYS IM ALIVE. Coronavirus hasn’t gotten me holy shit this is so overdue and i apologize but this quarantine sucks and i had major writers block with the dialogue so i hope you guys like this and I WILL FINISH THIS STORY.

OH! i also made an AO3 account so you guys can go there if its easier! Thank you!

To all my beans because you’re the only ones who keep me sane @reylo-trash-4ever @mojona1999 @kommissrawr @redheadonaflolol

💙❤️

“What the hell was all that?!” Poe raised his voice as the trio entered the empty hanger. The footsteps echoed in the metallic room, the distant sounds of leftover victories could faintly be heard in Rey’s ears. However, her attention was on a more pressing matter…an angry pilot.

“Poe, I kno-“

“When did all this happen? I-I mean were you ever going to tell us?!”

“I was abo-“

“Do you know how much information you held? Kriff, Rey we could’ve ended this war months ago! This is ridiculous! Why do you defend him? Kylo Ren! The supreme leader?! Rey, do you know what he’s done!?”

She knew. She could feel it whenever he felt shame or guilt. That was the problem with being a dyad in the force, she guessed. She could feel whatever he felt, especially in times of self doubt. He knew the horrors he caused, the fights, the killing. Rey was afraid what it would do to him in future, not just in the eyes of the galaxy, but behind his own. Night terrors and nightmares were something she knew all too well. The screams in her pillow or her sobs, echoed in the darkness of her AT-AT. And if anyone could understand how those felt, it was Ben. And that was why she was afraid of what would happen if he was left alone. Rey wanted to be by his side if he ever needed her, to hold him with warm, comforting arms. Just the two of them.

“What if he’s leading a secret fleet here right now? He could’ve planned this all from the beginning!”

“Poe, he would never-”

“Oh, so have you two chit chatted about all this? Just gossiped about each other’s secrets and jeopardizing our entire cause for a good time?”

Rey’s cheeks reddened, embarrassment and anger swelling inside her. Poe wouldn’t let her speak, and he was scolding her like a child, “No! Why would I-“

“You tell me!” He was face to face with Rey and she noticed the droplets of sweat beading around his forehead and down his neck. He was exhausted from practically carrying the whole resistance on his shoulders. She saw how outgoing, confident and brave he was, but deep down, Rey felt sorry for Poe. He was just as scared as everyone else.

If she could just get a word in..

“What have you told him? What makes you think you can even trust him?”

She couldn’t look him in the eye, the anger about to burst. He was getting on her nerves and his disrespect towards Ben had Rey clenching her fists.

“I mean he’s…he’s a monster!”

“ENOUGH!” Rey shouted. A vibration ricocheted off the metal hanging, the wires attached whipped suddenly. Poe did not flinch, but understood that his friend was serious. The hanger was once again silent, a comfortable but tense heaviness was in the room.

Finn felt it. Rey wasn’t stupid, far from it. He knew just how important the resistance was to her. But he also knew how much she craved connection, a family, belonging. He had felt it too when he ran from the First Order. He found a family in Rey, Poe, Rose, Leia, even Chewie. The resistance was his home. But something else was hers.

Rey’s gaze focused on the makeshift monitor she graced her fingers over. She played around the buttons and lights, feeling their eyes burning on her.

“That feeling you were telling us…?” Finn mumbled.

“I didn’t want to believe it either,” she started, “I knew he was a monster, or at least I thought he was. Can you imagine..? The one person everyone around you is talking about, a murderer, a dictator, a leader and servant to the dark side. The one person you are attached to since before you’re born.”

Rey saw from the corner of her eyes Poe and Finn glance at each other. Poe couldn’t help but give an aggravating and tired sigh.

She continued, walking around the main control center, “I felt it not long after our fight on Starkiller, like a shiver up my spine or vibration in my ear. But even so, he had multiple chances to kill me, and I him. So why didn’t we?”

Her friends leaned in, catching on to the importance that this “connection” she had with the Supreme Leader was.

She sighed, “A dyad. Bound souls in the Force. Two that are one..what he feels, I feel. What he senses, I sense. What he is, I am.”

Rey had to stop, her mind reeling at the words coming out of her mouth. She reminded herself Ben was here, he was alive. His heart beat somewhere in the cells and that was enough to make her smile. Poe and Finn saw it too.

“So..you two are like..kindred spirits? Soulmates?” Finn questioned.

Rey could feel her cheeks redden by the word.

Ben Solo. The son of Leia and Han, nephew to Luke. All these connections she had to his family, even before she met him, had to mean something. And still, destiny decided to make the two into one. From birth they were to be connected. Maybe it wasn’t supposed to be romantically, but Rey and Ben were too far gone. They both knew that soon after their first encounter, there was something that burst open after struggling to break free for so long. She remembered how brooding and frightening he was. But when she reached into his mind, still bound in the interrogation room, Rey sensed his fear, his unraveling. His humanity. That was what she fell in love with. The man under the mask. The man behind Kylo Ren. Ben Solo.

“Yes. I suppose we are.” She said to no one. Speaking the words out loud, she wished they could travel through the corridors and into the cells, giving Ben a clear indication of how much she cared for him.

Remembering the discussion at hand, Rey pulled her attention to the boys. Poe’s hands leaned on the control center across from her. The sunset peaked through the canopy and wires of the hanger, criss crossing over the trios faces. Finn stood behind him, arms crossed and against another control boards, dusty and in need of repair.

Rey couldn’t make out the looks on their faces.

Poe gave huff of a laugh, too exhausted to express more emotion.

Finn looked back at Rey, with what looked like hope in his eyes.

The pilot turned, scratching his head, continuously sighing while he thought long and hard.

Rey didn’t realize how nervous she was, the palms of her hands sweating. Her arms felt heavy and she couldn’t move from her spot. Blood pumped in her eardrums, the only sound breaking the silence was now the distant cries of wild animals.

Please, Poe.

He eventually turned back and looked her in the eye.

“He has to be punished.”

~~~

“Why do you have that?” Ben nodded at the gleaming key in the young woman’s hands. She fiddled with it, hesitant to do anything.

Rose could feel her mind pulling her in different directions. She wanted to hand it over, toss it to him and run, or just throw the key into the forest and forget she was ever there. Rose knew the trio would be too preoccupied to notice her gone.

“You know why.” She spoke. Her voice was deeper than he thought. She was very short, Ben could obviously see that, but her determination made up for her stature. This woman held the key to his escape, his freedom, but he saw hate growing in her eyes.

She’s been affected by this war, just like everyone else. Ben thought. He was the cause of it, of course. Maybe he killed her family, or interrogated her lover. Then why does she want to let him out?

With a click of his tongue, Ben shifted in his spot, the restraints on his wrists rubbed a little rough.

“I can’t let you do that..”

“You don’t get to decide what I can and can’t do.” Hate dripped from her lips, she couldn’t stand still.

Ben’s brows furrowed. Here was this strange woman, much shorter than Rey, he could see. A woman who probably hated him just as much as he used to hate himself. She still had the look of battle on her, face caked in dirt and hair wild and untamed. Rey and him had returned and were thrust into the aftermath so quickly, it was unlikely anyone had time to clean themselves up. It was more likely everyone was too interested talking about the defeated Supreme Leader Kylo Ren and his unfortunate consequence. Years of war because of Palpatine, Snoke, and him.

This girl should want him dead, so why is she putting the key in the lock?!

The echo of the key placed in the lock bellowed down the hall. Ben stood, alert and confused, his hands still bound.

“Wait wait wait, kid! Stop, what are you doing?” He hurried to the bars, towering over Rose. Her hand was on the key, ready to turn and free Ben from his cell and restraints. She did not flinch or cower away.

She looked up at him, neck craned, her eyes held fury. Sunset from the entrance peered down the cells, and floating specks of dust could be seen between them. Up close, Ben noticed streaks of dirt and sweat on her. The knuckles of her hands were white as her grip tightened on the key.

“Back in the clearing,” she started, “we were all ready to see the Supreme Leader, Kylo Ren die. It should’ve warmed my heart to see you dragged away in chains. But then I saw something, in Rey.”

Ben’s heart leapt at hearing her name, and he visibly relaxed.

“I don’t know what it was, but it almost scared me. It wasn’t Rey, or..or maybe it was and we just never saw that side of her.” Rose began to ramble, Ben hanging on to every word.

“She was…passionate. Determined. Just so she could get to you…” While Ben stared down at her, they both knew she was on top of it all.

Rose had to turn her head, lips quivering and eyes welling up with tears, “it reminded me of my sister.”

The ache that came from Ben’s chest was enough make him physically wince. The pain of his actions that was inflicted on others, was now coming back for him.

“Just about everyone I know was about to give up, to end it all. But I knew she would fight until her dying breath. She would fight to protect and inspire those around her, the fire of the resistance only growing bigger and brighter because of her.”

Ben couldn’t tell if she was talking about her sister or Rey, but he smiled sadly, knowing there were so many who believed in the resistance, in his mother, and in Rey.

Rose sighed. “I know what I saw,” she said quietly, as if she was talking to herself.

“What?” Ben finally asked.

“Hope.”

Ben imagined a cave, dark, wet and cold. Outside a storm raged on, winds whipping and thrashing. Animals hidden and sheltered under twigs, branches, and burrows. It is empty in the cave and when you walk, it seems like its a never-ending path of darkness. And just as you’re about to give up, turn around and collapse from exhaustion, you see it. A flicker of light off the wall ahead of you. Every step is starting to get warmer, more inviting.

Ben turns to the source of light and is somewhere else. He is outside, it’s sunny and warm. Its Ahch-To! He is back at the Jedi Temple? He hears distant laughter, children are playing. He follows the sounds over the hill. Ben nearly laughs at the sight of younglings running, other practicing with sticks. Girls and boys of different species scatter the island. They play tag and jump in the water, and he sees Rey watching them, teaching them. She turns to him, and her belly is swollen. She is smiling and happy, and all Ben wants to do is take her hand, outstretched and waiting for him.

“Hey!” A snap from Rose’s fingers woke him.

Her hand still held the key, ready to turn in the lock.

“You ready to go?” She questioned.

His cheeks hurt from grinning, excited for the life that waited for him. Ben couldn’t care if it was 6 months or 10 years away. He felt his heart about to burst. He could finally do something right, and bring peace to the galaxy. He would have Rey for the rest of his life and their family would bring the return of the Jedi, with balance and hope for all.

“I’m ready.”

A turn of the lock and the door opened, his restraints fell off with a loud clunk. He stepped through, rubbing his sore wrists. He gave a small nod to Rose.

“Thank you.” A small hand on his chest halted him.

Her eyes were dark again, “I’m not doing this for you, I’m doing this for Rey.”

Ben nodded again, though more cautious and understanding. He quietly made his way down the hall, until Rose mumbled,

“And for Leia.”

Ben hadn’t realized he was holding his breath until he felt himself get dizzy. He stood still, unable to look at Rose.

“Where is my mom?”

#reylo #rey #ben solo #rey x ben solo #tros fix it #tros fanfiction #tros fanfic #tros fanwork #star wars #I AM SO TIRED #THIS IS NOT MY BEST WORK #IM SORRY

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cheese-knife · 5 years ago

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A Sheep in Wolf’s Clothing

Chapter One: The End.

Hello everyone! I know I’m not exactly know for writing fanfiction, but this is the newest project im working on. Its a bit strange, as it is a crossover between BNHA and The Wolf Among Us/ Fables Universe. But this AU is starting to dig a precious place in my heart, and I’d love it if you checked it out.

Rating: Teens and Up

Pairings: (Eventual) Bigby Wolf/Snow White

Read it on Ao3

The room was nothing special, a plain grey room built like a brick shithouse, meant to house and contain some of the most dangerous criminals in New York for questioning. The only things furnishing the room were two chairs, a table, and a single light without a cover. One of the walls had a rectangle of dark glass inlaid into the brick.

Bigby Wolf sat unnaturally still in the uncomfortable metal chair, greasy, unkempt hair hanging in a curtain around his head as he stared a hole into the table in front of him. His hands were latched to the table by heavy cuffs, kept well apart so there was no way he could rip the hand cuffs off without doing significant damage to himself. Even then, the small red lights blinking on the cuffs showed that they were actively suppressing his quirk so its not like he would get very far.

The door to the room opened with a slam as two stern looking officers entered the room, one carrying a significantly thick file folder under his arm. One stood at the door, and the one with the folder sat down across from Bigby at the table.

“Fifty-Six confirmed counts of murder.”

The folder was slammed down onto the table,

“Sixty-One counts of property destruction.”

Dozens of photos of the were laid out before the wolf, each a snapshot moment from his rampage.

“An an association with an unknown number of missing persons. Their bodies were never recovered.”

He didn’t move as the officer spoke. He didn’t even acknowledge that he was there.

“The list goes on and on. You know what this means, don’t you Mr. Wolf?”

Nothing. The three in the room sat in uncomfortable silence for several minutes.

“Damnit-”

Bigby didn’t even flinch as the hand cracked across his face, hard enough to break the skin over his cheekbone. Definitely a strength quirk behind that.

“-You know what this means right?” The officer was in his face now. “We have enough shit on you to put you away for a *thousand* lifetimes, and to kill you a hundred times more. Don’t you have anything to say for yourself?”

Bigby finally looked up, furious, wild yellow eyes digging into the frustrated lawman. In this moment, it was clear that he was more animal than man. He had the physicality of a caged feral animal.

In the years after his mother passed away, Bigby let himself slip into the pitfalls of his powerful quirk; in fact, he welcomed it. He welcomed the separation from the world and his humanity, fully embodying the once silly nickname his brothers used to tease him with. The Big Bad Wolf.

The trial went unsurprisingly smoothly. There was no question of what his verdict would be as he stood in front of the judge, still an overwhelming presence in the courtroom despite his restraints.

”Members of the Jury, in the case of Wolf vs. New York, what do you say?”

A small, timid woman stood and cleared her throat.

“Your honor, the members of this Jury finds the defendant wholly GUILTY of his crimes.”

The jury filed out of the courtroom as the judge dismissed them, all more than ready to leave the presence of the newly convicted felon. Bigby could smell the fear-tinged pride on each and every one of them.

The judge looked down on him.

“Bigby Wolf, it is the judgement and sentence of this court that the charged information is true, and the jury having found that the penalty shall be death. It is the order of this court that you shall suffer death, said penalty to be inflicted in Southport Correctional Facility in the manner prescribed by the law, the date later to be fixed by the Court in warrant of execution. You are remanded to the custody of the warden of Southport, it is so ordered. In witness whereof, I have hereon set my hand as Judge of this Superior Court, and I have caused the seal of this Court to be affixed thereto.”

“May God have mercy on your soul.”

He could see the pure joy in the Judge’s eyes as he delivered the sentencing.

It was five years he spent in prison. Each one hammering in the point that the law was making a mockery of him. Everyday, the guards got a little worse, a little more teasing and pushed the limits of what they could do to him without him fighting back. The bastards got comfortable around him, and there was nothing he could do about it.

They treated him like a sad dog doing tricks just for the pleasure of a shitty treat, only to be denied even after groveling at their feet.

Five. Fucking. Years.

At this point he was just craving some sort of relief. He even welcomed death, and despite the judge’s promise all those five years ago, the court seemed determined to draw out his torment for as long as possible before sending him to the slaughterhouse.

Bigby blearily opened his eyes, never getting enough sleep these days, involuntarily flinching at the sharp sound of metal banging against metal. Though the cuff permanently clamped to his wrist prevented him from transforming, its not like they could cancel out his quirk entirely. Enhanced hearing had its downfalls, and every morning he woke up to the same three scents. Sweat, shit, and corruption.

But anyway, apparently he had a visitor. Which was strange, considering Bigby’s family was either gone, or dead, and he never made any friends. So who the fuck could possibly want to see him?

Only after having shackles firmly attached to his wrists and ankles, he was led into the surprisingly private- well, as private as you could get in a supermax prison- and was forced into a rusting metal chair in front of a booth comprised of two phones and bullet proof glass. And on the other side, politely escorted by guards to the seat in front of him, was a woman with skin like porcelain and hair blacker than coal; none other than the Princess Hero herself: Miss Snow Fucking White.

Real cute fucking name there, right?

She picked up the phone on her end, staring down Bigby with her calm, cold stare until he did the same.

“Mr. Wolf-“

“Listen, Miss White, I’m not in the fuckin’ mood to be berated by one of the top heroes in New York, so cut the shit and get outta here. Whatever you have to say, I’m not interested.” Bigby nothing but growled into his phone, nearly hanging up then and there and dragging is own ass back to his cell.

Miss White simply let him calm down, cleared her throat and continued.

“Mr. Wolf, I am here to inform you, in association with the Fables Hero Agency, that the state of New York is willing to grant you amnesty for your past crimes:”

That got Bigby’s attention. It wasn’t obvious, but there was a certain way his eyes widened just a touch, his body tensed and leaned just a hair in towards Snow that let her know that he was interested, very interested.

“Why should I trust you?” And. Twice as skeptical.

“Because, put plainly, I am your last chance at you living past 35. My agency has been interested in your case for a long time, and your time is running short. The court has scheduled a date for your execution, the end of this month. In 2 weeks exactly.”

Sounded good enough- except it didn’t. Bigby couldn’t stop the words from tumbling out of him mouth, regretting them as soon as they hit the air. Why would he be actively trying to fuck up what’s already secured for him.

“Why the hell would you be interested in a serial killer with a knack for tearing people limb from limb?”

Snow leaned in towards the glass, hovering just a few inches from the glass.

“Because, you’re not as bad as everyone says you are.”

“Seven years ago, you broke into and killed six men in the basement of the Geppetto Casino, all wealthy and well know celebrities, CEOs and millionaires. These men were preparing to rape, torment, and humiliate the three women they were holding captive, including myself and my sister, before auctioning us off to the next highest biding sick perverted fuck.

But you showed up before any of that could happen. You gave those men what they deserved and you let us go without so much as a scratch before you nearly destroyed the whole building. The world mourned the death of those truly evil men, never acknowledging their heinous crimes, while insisting that you were the true monster. But I know the truth. At least in that moment, you were a hero.”

“...I’m not always like that, you know. I’ve killed innocent people.”

“We have one of the best investigative teams at the agency, I think we both know that isn’t entirely true. At points, yes. You were a villain through and through, but you’re not a bad person, Mr. Wolf.”

“Right... so where the hell do I sign up for this pardon thing?”

Snow produced a large envelope from a bag sitting at her feet and removed a few legal documents from it and handed them to a guard to present to Bigby.

“You should know that this doesn’t come without heavy restrictions. You’ll be under twenty-four observation, as well as required therapy, and extremely strict parol. You will also be required to study and work at the hero agency, and acquire a hero license at some point in the next 2 years. If you breech any terms of the contract, you’ll be arrested and sent back here to await execution again. But, if you manage to survive all of this, you’ll be relatively free within ten years. Reduced to five on good behavior.”

Bigby nodded, soaking up the information Snow was giving him while he looked over the several contracts placed in front of him. It was a lot of legal jargon, but it was easier to understand than he thought it would be. Well that, and he also spent the little free time he did have studying up on legal practices, curiosity pushing him to figure out just how fucked the system was right now.

“One problem, I can’t sign this. They don’t really let me use pens.”

Snow almost looked like she smiled at that. And it seems like she thought ahead, producing a pad of ink from the bag and passed it along to Bigby’s side of the glass.

“Don’t worry, your fingerprint makes a good replacement.”

There were ten pages in total, and each page was stamped with Bigby Wolf’s fingerprint black swirling ink. The pages were handed back to Miss White as she now truly smiled and looked at Bigby.

“I’ll need to send the paperwork in to be finalized, but you should be released within forty-eight hours, we’ll send a car to bring you to the agency do that you can see where you’ll be staying for the next few years. I look forward to working with you, Mr. Wolf.”

She returned her phone to its place and turned to leave, but he reached out and tapped loudly on the glass. Snow looked back and picked up her phone again.

“Bigby.”

“Mr. Wolf I-“

“Just call me Bigby.”

Next>

#the wolf among us #fables #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #bigby wolf #snow white #snow white/bigby wolf #bigby x snow #A Sheep in Wolf’s Clothing

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megalony · 5 years ago

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Liar- Part 12

Another part of my latest Roger Taylor series, thank you to everyone for the feedback and support.

Warning: Mentions of assault and rape.

Permanent taglist: @marshmallowmae @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @luvborhap @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan

Series taglist: @caborhapch @im-just-a-musical-prostitute @scarsout @luckytrashgooprebel

Series masterlist

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

None of them really wanted to have this chat, even if they all knew that this was what was necessary for all of them.

Did Roger want to split up the band for good or was he simply wanting a break? If he wanted to break the band what did that mean for them, what would they all do if that happened? Were they going to remain friends, stay in good contact, was Roger going to seclude himself from them and the rest of the world?

There were so many questions that needed answering and so much that needed sorting out and this conversation could not wait any longer. Two months had gone by since Roger's attack and now things were getting heated. They had given Roger the space he had asked for, they knew pushing the drummer would make him volatile and they didn't want to cause him unnecessary pain or discomfort. But hiding away wasn't going to work anymore. Miami had been on the phone, the album that was over half-finished needed to be either finished asap or they needed to find another record company that would take them on and produce the album if they wanted to continue with it.

They would have to book another studio at such short notice because Miami had to cancel the studio they had booked and it wouldn't be fair to even think of putting Roger back in the place where his assault happened.

But if Roger couldn't be in the band anymore then Miami needed to be informed, the record company that had paid for the latest album needed to know and be reimbursed. They needed to sort out the royalties of the existing albums and songs, then the boys would have to decide if they were going on without Roger, going into different groups, going solo or just plainly quitting.

None of this could happen if Roger didn't make a decision. Wherever Queen went from here was down to the drummer.

Miami had left the room after telling the band what the options were and what would need to happen depending on what they decided they were going to do. He went for a coffee presumably as he allowed the four of them to use his office as a conference room. They needed to have a chat that was long overdue and since they were all here in the same place there was no better nor worse time to do this.

"Alright Rog, what do you want to do?" John was the first one to break the silence that had enveloped around them. His head rested on his hand, his elbow propped up on the side of the chair he was sitting in as he looked to the drummer. Roger was sitting on the sofa with Freddie next to him, a small amount of space added between them that made the singer feel awkward because he was so used to the proximity between him and the drummer. They would link arms when they walked, they would nudge one another, lean closer when they shared private jokes and giggles like school girls. Space wasn't something he was used to.

Roger didn't like how this was his decision, he felt like he wanted one of them to make it for him but he knew they couldn't. They couldn't force Roger to stay in the band if he wanted to leave, they couldn't break up the band if he wanted to stay. This was happening because Roger was in turmoil and he needed to start to choose where his life went from here.

"I don't want to break up the band, I want to finish this album but..." The words he needed to say weren't forming in his head because there was no good way for Roger to say them. The relief that each member of the band felt at his words was short-lived when they noticed the drummer's eyes continuously drifting over to look at Brian who was sitting Roger's left in one of the armchairs. When Brian caught the small looks he was receiving his jaw started to grind as a forced breath passed through his nose.

Roger was not trying to start an argument nor was he trying to be cruel.

Brian was one of his oldest and closest friends and Roger had lied in the first place to preserve that friendship but there was no doubt that it had been tainted now. Whenever Roger looked at Brian all he could see was the doubt his friend had in him. He could see how Brian had chosen his sister over his friend and he could see how Brian had ignored Roger's cry for help. He had been hurt and Brian had made that wound ten times worse when he plainly stated he didn't think Roger was being truthful. How could Roger forgive Brian when he chose Roger's attacker over him?

Sarah being Brian's sister didn't matter because Roger had told Brian he had been assaulted and Brian disagreed. He didn't want to believe that John and Freddie had witnessed it and he clearly showed he doubted Roger was telling the truth about being raped. That was not something Roger was going to forget in a hurry and it was something he didn't know how to move past.

"But you don't want to work with me. Is that it?" Brian guessed, his brows raising when Roger's head snapped to look at him.

"Don't put words in my mouth. I want to work with you all but I don't know how to look at you without knowing what you thought of me." Roger's leg unfolded from resting over the other, both feet planting themselves against the floor as he looked to Brian with fury burning in his eyes. He didn't know how to look past the facts that were staring him in the face every time he locked eyes on the guitarist sitting in the armchair. How was Roger meant to get along with him when he knew what Brian thought about him? When he knew Brian thought he was a liar, that he had lied about something so serious as an attack like that.

"Rog, you lied to us all for ten bloody years. You think I'm bad for not believing you over my sister and I understand I was in the wrong for that but you spun us a lie-"

"A lie that Freddie created. He asked me if I cut myself, I never created that I only went along with it for your sake Brian. If you weren't at the flat your sister would have been exposed for what she is but I didn't for you." Roger had not been the one to tell them he had self-harmed, he had only agreed when Freddie had asked because that was the impression he had gotten. The drummer didn't create the lie and if Brian hadn't of been there no lie would bever have been told in the first place.

Roger hadn't lied for the sake of it and he hadn't lied to save his skin because lying made him feel worse and it trapped him for so many years. Lying was to save Brian from the heartache he was going through now and to give them ten years of being one of the greatest bands in the world. One little lie and hiding the truth to give them all of this and save them from this situation.

"Oh, so it's my fault now?"

"Yes!" Roger snapped back, his response biting through the air as Freddie and John looked to one another, not knowing what they were meant to say or do. Both men quickly standing to their feet when Roger and Brian stood to face one another. Roger's hands balled into fists at his sides as Brian towered over him since he was the tallest of the group.

Roger needed someone to blame and Brian fit the bill. If Brian had never met Roger he would never have been introduced to Sarah and she never would have hurt him. If Brian hadn't of been in the flat that night Roger never would have felt compelled to lie. If Brian had believed Roger when he opened up about his abuse then this situation wouldn't have come about because Roger wouldn't have felt betrayed. He had been such good friends with Brian that he should have known Roger would never lie on matters so serious as this and he had nothing to gain by making that accusation up.

But Brian didn't believe him. Brian had been in the flat that night, it had been Brian's sister who committed the abuse inflicted on Roger and it had been Brian who had ignored Roger's cry for help and stated that he was lying when he wasn't.

"I lied for you! If I told you what Sarah did that night you wouldn't have believed me because we hadn't known each other for that long and I would have ruined everything for you. We wouldn't have the band, we wouldn't have our friendship, things with you and Sarah would have been different so yes I lied but that was for your benefit. And you didn't believe me. I confided what she did to me and you chose her over me when you've known me long enough to know I wouldn't lie, so yes I think this is your fault. Tell me how to look at you without feeling betrayed!"

What was Roger meant to do?

He couldn't tell Brian he was fine with how he had thought of him and wanted to make music with him. Roger couldn't say that how Brian had thought and treated him wouldn't play on his mind in the future. He couldn't say he forgave Brian for what had happened when he didn't. Roger didn't know how he was meant to move forward from this and if no one told him how then he was going to be stuck hating one of his dearest friends when they had both made mistakes.

"If you spoke out in the beginning she wouldn't have assaulted you but you didn't because of me, how do you think that feels? What would you do if you looked at one of your best friends but all you could see was your sister raping them because you did nothing to help? Because your friend didn't feel able to come and tell you what their sibling had done? Sarah got away with this and you got hurt and I'm partially to blame for that. I feel guilty when I look at you Roger, how do I not do that?"

Roger wasn't the only one who was hurting.

The drummer saw betrayal when he looked at Brian, but Brian saw guilt when he looked at Roger. If Brian hadn't of been at Freddie's flat that night then Roger would have opened up about his abuse, someone would have listened to him and been there for him over these past ten years. Because of Brian Roger went a whole decade with no one but his attacker knowing what he had gone through. He had had to get himself through that rough time in his life on his own. Brian felt guilty because Roger had gone through that alone and he felt even worse because he didn't believe his friend. If he believed him then Roger would have felt supported, he wouldn't have felt worse about what had happened to him because that wasn't his fault and he needed that support.

"As bad as this is, none of you can change what happened. Roger got hurt, things got messy and it turned out like this. No one forced Rog to lie and Brian had to choose between you and Sarah, that's the truth, that's the situation. No guilt, no betrayal just facts." John looked between them both as he waited for them to comprehend what he had said and think about it.

Brian didn't have to feel guilty when he looked at Roger because even though he influenced Roger's decision to lie, no one forced him to tell that lie. He had a choice and he made it. Roger didn't have to feel betrayal because Brian had a choice between two people he was very close to and he had to choose one of them. Roger knew that he wouldn't be the one Brian believed which influenced his decision to lie, as much as it hurt he knew it would happen and when he knew he would have made the same choice that should kill some of the betrayal.

They both had the right to feel hurt and betrayed and angry and guilty but there was no way they could get past this if they continued to choose to feel that way. They could look at the facts that those emotions were not going to make them feel better and they were not going to change the past because that had happened and it was set in stone but the future wasn't. Roger had been hurt, Sarah was to blame and Brian came into the equation. There was nothing more to it and it needed to be put behind them now.

#roger taylor #roger taylor imagine #roger x reader #imagine #queen band #freddie mercury #Brian May #john deacon #liar

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haunteyed · 5 years ago

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✧･ﾟ( hecate + ming xi + cisfemale ) 𝒎𝒂𝒎𝒎𝒂 𝒎𝒊𝒂 !! have you seen ( heidi liu ) around ? ( she ) has been in kaos for ( one year ). the ( thirty year old ) is a/an ( psychiatrist ) from ( henan, china ). people say they can be ( shrewd ) but maybe that’s not too bad ‘cause they can also be ( captivating ). whenever i think of them, i can’t help but think of ( the faint, lingering smell of incense, weary 3 o’clock mornings and yellowed, dog-eared paperbacks ). ･ﾟ✧ ( penned by kon, 19, gmt+8, she/her ).

content warning: xenophobia, bullying, implied violence, dogs (pls let me know if i should tag anything else!)

she was born in henan, china on september 21, 1989. having a son would have been preferable for the couple but they settled for her instead.

spent more time with her mother than her father as he worked in the city.

her parents were pious buddhists and she was brought up with it so she was no stranger to lighting up joss sticks at the altar in their house, observing different special occasions.

on the year she turned twelve, her father had gotten the promotion he wanted. the catch? they had to move all the way to america.

at an awkward age, an awkward time, in a country where she barely knew how to speak the language, she couldn’t help but feel impending doom.

maybe she’s right on the money; she stands out like an odd thumb with her pale skin and jet black hair among the freckled, tanned kids with lighter hair. and that’s just in the small town airport.

she’s not one to let small things hurt her but when it happens everyday, any wound inflicted would be left to fester.

(bullying, xenophobia tw) these things spread and multiply; they start with schoolyard taunts, stinging chants, mocking words, told her to go back to china but the kicker was when one of neighbours suddenly provided them with more material.

it’s a small, christian town where everyone knew everyone and anything different that happens is bound to be noticed. and then shunned.

“she’s a witch. my mom saw her and her mom and dad burning stuff and incense thingies in their backyard. she said they had sacrificial offerings and were worshipping the devil.”

it’s not true, of course, but it didn’t matter if it wasn’t the truth. it only mattered if they believed it to be.

she suffered the brunt of it all, with her father working more often than he was at home and her mother staying at home if she’s not outside shopping for groceries.

(implied violence cw) the only time she loses control is when they make jabs at her mother and the teachers have to call her parents in to take her home.

the scholarship to an out-of-state college is an escape, and she dives into her studies like a fish taking to water. it takes long for her to complete her bachelor’s, medical degree and it takes a little longer for her residency when she suddenly made the decision to complete it in athens, greece.

finished her training and worked at the hospital she was a resident before eventually transferring to a psych clinic her senior opened in kaos.

she’s worked there for a little over a year and has no current plans of leaving.

i know this may be .. kind of vague save for some details but feel free to ask me about anything! you can also find other information on her profile (trigger warning: dogs! skip headcanon 4). i don’t have any plots up right now because i can’t think for shit but i’m pretty sure i could dive into ur messages and try think of one for our characters <33 LOVE YALL MWAH

p.s. im mainly gonna use discord for plotting bc my data is #dyin BUT do tell me if u prefer doing it via ims!!!

edit: yeah i thought of plots so i guess i take back my “can’t think for shit” statement lol

PLOT IDEAS: (edit: go here to see what’s taken and what’s not)

(dogs tw) a pet sitter: she has two dogs and one of them needs a lot of exercise!! heidi can’t do that on the daily so this is where u come in!! benefits for ur chara: loving dogs, nice person in need of ur service and occasionally free food bc sometimes heidi forgets to modify a new recipe for one person and ends up cooking for six ... or more

friends: say hello again to general term that’s pretty much self-explanatory; i’m gonna put more bullets down below to separate them but ur chara doesn’t have to be restricted to just one!!

met thru mutual friends and it’s only awkward when they’re alone together

former classmates that never really talked much before but right now it’s just like oh? you’re here too i see what a Weird Coincidence

met in the hospital she was a resident at in athens; could be there to see someone they knew there or a doctor, they worked there before, etc.

they got close to each other much faster than she thought they would and now they’re close friends!! cute!! the Fluff pls give me it

someone who encourages her to “live a little”, meet someone new *wink wonk*; not necessarily a bad influence, could be related to a date plot

a former client! even though their condition has more or less stabilised, she still can’t help but worry a little about them

do they like cooking? do they like reading horror/supernatural books? or are they a fellow pet owner? chances are, she’s already struck up a conversation with them about it

current client: self-explanatory, could discuss how their doctor-patient relationship is generally like or how they feel about her

a date: someone introduced them to her or vice versa / they matched on a dating app (which would be a friend’s idea) and we could see how it goes! doesn’t have to end up in a romantic plot lol

there could be more but PLEATHE give me all the plots thanks so much xoxo

you can find her pinterest board here (?? if it’s ugly i’m sorry?? i have no idea how it works but i will try to edit it once i do lol) and it isn’t much of a playlist but below are some of the few songs i associate with heidi!

reality / lew, joie tan

nocturnal / shaun

the kids don’t wanna come home / declan mckenna

dancing with your ghost / sasha sloan

elusive / gentle bones

off she goes / bad suns

into black / blouse

#kaos:intro #ooc.#hi i edited it to include plots #also im just NOW realising some of them kind of fit the #skeletal connections that hecate has but #well i'll just leave it there???

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joohoneyhoe · 7 years ago

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Push and Pull| Chapter Sixteen (Alternate Ending)

[song inspiration: BTS - House of Cards & Drake - Own it & The Weekend - Earned it]

pairing: Jimin x oc x Jaebum genre: angst, smut, fingering, oral word count: 3.5k a/n: Isolde spent three years with Jimin after meeting him by chance in a dance studio. He was perfect and he loved her, she thought he was the one she’d spend the rest of her life with. That all crumbles when he decides he wants to please his parents and leave her so he can be with someone like him. Isolde is plummeted into turmoil and leaves her job as a choreographer to move back home to the states. A mutual friend named Im Jaebum reaches out to console her, lift her back up from her fragile state. It’s a push and pull tug between what she thought she had and what she could have.

“Honey, I know it seems like running away from your problems will make it go away. But, it will only make the hurt last longer in the end. Your problem doesn’t just disappear by not addressing it, it only makes it linger. But, if you think coming home is what you need to do, I support your decision. Just know, your problems will only be waiting for you if you decide to return one day. That, I can guarantee, baby.”

My mother’s words echoed in my head over and over again, like a record stuck on repeat. Reminding me all over again, how right she was about everything. Why I didn’t listen to her, I don’t know. She was always right about these things, she had been through something similar in her youth. I guess I was just hoping she was wrong about this one.

I had let two weeks go by since the night of the award show, Jaebum gave me my space to think, like he promised he would. Jimin had also given me my space, respected that I had asked him not to contact me, which I found surprising. Considering the way he had behaved after I left when I asked the same, continuing to contact me regardless. He respected my wishes and gave me my time. And now that I had it, I needed to actually make a decision.

And I think I had.

My trembling hand came up to the door of the dorm, hesitating before finally landing with a thud against the wood three times. I heard the lock click, the sound sending my heart thudding against my chest. As the handle turned I stepped back, preparing myself for Jimin to answer, though I did not tell him I was coming.

To my surprise, I was met by none other than Min Yoongi.

“Isolde, I thought you might end up here eventually.” he commented, a empathetic smile on his face. I immediately launched at him, hugging him around his slender waist.

“You were right, Yoongi. You were always right.” I whispered quietly into his chest. Tears brimming my eyes as I listened to his steady breathing, remembering the conversation I had with him so many years ago now.

“Isolde, I know that you and Jimin are, very wrapped up in each other, to say the least. But, you know this as well as I do, his parents are a huge part of his life. He thrives on their approval in everything he does, even dating. As someone who’s parents are very much like Jimin’s, just know, they won’t approve of this. It has nothing to do with whether I’m okay with it or not, because I am. I want Jimin happy and I want you happy. But, that lack of approval will catch up to you guys eventually. Though, I wholeheartedly hope I am wrong.”

“I never wanted to be right, Isolde. I really didn’t.” he told me, his voice low and filled with sadness as he hugged me tightly to his chest. “I know you didn’t. But…even so, I don’t think I can just walk away. I can’t. I’ve tried to love someone else, and I do, but it’s different. It isn’t the same.” he pulled away, hands on my shoulders as he looked over my bare face, cheeks flushed from tears.

“I know you tried, Isolde. I know you did, and I’m proud of you for that. Jaebum, is proud of you for that. But, if it’s not the same feeling, you can’t continue it. You know that, Jaebum knows that. This is how life is, this is how we learn. You will learn from this, conquer it, grow from it, Isolde. I know you will. Come inside, I’ll take you to Jimin.” taking my hand, he brought me inside, shutting and locking the door behind him before leading me to Jimin’s door. I swallowed hard, glancing over to Yoongi for reassurance. He gave a small smile, kissing my forehead tenderly before walking away and leaving me alone in front of Jimin’s room.

Once again, I raised a shaking hand to the wooden door, tapping lightly, my heart drumming loudly in my chest. The door flung open and there stood Jimin, no shirt, just sweats. Water droplets could still be seen on his honey skin, his damp hair, which was now pitch black, dropping some onto his fresh face. His eyes were wide in surprise, not much different than my own, honestly.

“Isolde…” he whispered, reaching out for me, but then pulling back in hesitation. I immediately flung myself into his arms, his skin hot to the touch against my cheek as I rested against his chest. He carefully moved me inside as I clung to him, hearing the door click shut behind me. I held on even tighter, relishing in the feeling of being wrapped up in him, the weight of his arms around me sending a wave of comfort through me.

“I missed you, Isolde. It was so hard to leave you alone, especially after what happened. But, I didn’t want to pressure you into anything. I wanted you to come on your own, not influenced by me in any way.” he confessed, his round lips kissing my hair.

“Thank you for giving me time, I needed it.” I replied, stepping back slightly to look up at him.

“I know you did. I didn’t respect your wishes when you left, I felt I needed to prove to you that I do understand and I respect what you’re asking for. It’s something I need to improve upon in myself.”

“I believe you. I think there are a lot of things the both of us need to improve about ourselves, and I want to. But, I know I have to set things right elsewhere first. We fucked up, Jimin. We hurt the two people who loved us the most, who have helped us through the terrible shit we inflicted upon ourselves. They didn’t have to love us, but they did, and we betrayed them.”

“Is-” I held up my index finger to his lips, silencing him.

“Let me finish, Jimin. Jaebum was outside of the building when I walked out that night, and I was wearing your clothes. He knew before I even told him, obviously, because he was already there. I hurt him and I can never take that back now. And…you did the same to Soomi. Their feelings are important, more important that ours, because they loved us despite all of our flaws. And we disregarded them by having sex in that practice room.” I admitted, my eyes filling with tears, my heart aching for both Jaebum and Soomi.

They didn’t deserve any of this.

“Does she even know what happened that night, Jimin?” I questioned, afraid of the answer I might get. He looked down, taking both of my hands into his, his thumbs rubbing the back of them soothingly.

“Soomi also came to the practice room that night. Not long after you left, actually. I explained to her what had happened, I told her how sorry I was for hurting her, for leading her and her family on. That–that I didn’t want any of this to happen, and she deserved so much better than me. Someone who would love her, cherish her, the way that I did you. I admitted to her that I was wrong for doing what I did, that both you and I should have thought it through, but we let our emotions get in the way. Though, that was no excuse for our actions.

I can’t even tell you how many times I said I was sorry, that I never wanted to hurt her. That I tried, I really did. And…and she said it was alright, that she understood our conflict. She knew how much I loved you from the minute you walked out on that stage. I’ve never felt so terrible about my behavior in my entire life, Isolde. She didn’t deserve what I did to her, she was nothing but kind, understanding…loving. Jaebum didn’t deserve this either, and I feel awful for what I did to him too. He was my friend.” he finished, dark eyes filled with sorrow and regret for what he had done. I wrapped my arms around his neck, stroking his hair gently.

“I ended it with Soomi that night, Isolde. Her and I over.” he said into my shoulder, his arms tight around my waist. We stood there in silence, both of us mulling over our actions that had caused everyone so much distress and pain.

“I have to go talk to Jaebum, Jimin.”

“I know.” I let go of him, cradling his face in my hands, thumbs caressing his cheekbones as his tears fell onto them.

“I need to leave now.” I moved to go, but his hand caught my wrist, stopping me from leaving him.

“Will you come back? I mean…you don’t have to, and I understand if you don’t want to and need your space.” he explained, his voice low, insecure.

“I’ll come back.” I promised, leaning in to kiss his cheek. He took my hand in his, pulling me towards his wardrobe, letting go and going to grab something from one of the small drawers. He came back, lifting my hand and opening it up, placing a silver key into my palm.

“Here, this key will get you into the dorm without having to knock. Come back if you want, it doesn’t matter what time, I’ll be up. But, don’t feel pressured to if you just want to be alone. I understand if you do.” I hugged him once more before stepping towards his door, pausing before exiting.

“I love you, Jimin.”

“I love you too, Isolde.” he reciprocated with a small smile, his eyes lighting up.

“I’ll be back.” I gently shut the door behind me, letting out a slow breath, nervousness coursing through my veins.

I was about to hurt someone I never intended to hurt. Again.

Jaebum was on his way over, making me pace my living room restlessly. I had sent him a text and asked if we could talk. He didn’t hesitate at all, ready to meet me wherever I wanted, so I chose my safe place. Home. I knew this was going to be one of the hardest things I had done in over a year.

There was two sharp knocks on my front door, making me jump, startled from my anxiousness at the sound. I took a calming breath, opening the door slowly, his handsome face revealing itself to me. He looked distressed, but gave me a weak smile, none the less. I gestured for him to come in, shutting the door behind him quietly. He jammed his hands into his pockets, looking down at the floor as I approached him.

This was going to fucking hurt.

“Jaebum, I-”

“It’s okay, Is. I know what you’re going to say. I understand. I understood when I started talking to you, when I fell in love with you, that this could happen. I never expected you to love me the way you did, Jimin and I know you tried. I know you did. I don’t blame you for this, nor do I blame him.” he said quietly, eyes finally meeting my gaze.

“Jaebum, what I did was wrong. I hurt you, I hurt Soomi too. I should have controlled my emotions better, thought it all through. But, I didn’t, and this is what I’ve done because of it. You’ve done nothing but support me, care for me, build me up and love me. And what did I do? I betrayed you, I hurt you. I fucked up and I can’t take any of it back. I’m sorry. I can’t express to you enough, how wrong I was and how much I regret my actions. You deserve better.” tears fell from my eyes as I looked at him, him also beginning to cry.

“I’m so sorry, Jaebum. I tried. I really did.” I sobbed, covering my face with my hands. I felt his arms envelope me suddenly, hugging me to him and caressing my hair.

“Is, it’s okay. I’ll be okay, I promise. You were my friend first, and my friend you will remain. I love you and I want you to be happy, even if it’s not with me.” he whispered, his embrace tightening.

“I never deserved you, Jaebum.”

“That’s not true. Everything happens for a reason, which means we happened for a reason. I will never regret the time I got with you, and I’ll cherish it forever.” he reassured, sniffling slightly.

“Thank you, Jaebum. For everything.” I told him, pulling away to look at him, fingers touching his face for the last time. He gave me a genuine smile, cupping my jaw with his right hand before bending down and planting one last kiss to my lips.

“Thank you for showing me what it feels like to love someone the way you and Jimin do. I’ll find my Jimin one day.” he said with a wink, releasing me from his hold and walking away. I turned to watch him go, him pausing in the doorway to give me another smile.

“I’ll see you around JYPE, Is.” with that, he shut the door behind him and left me on my own.

I was thankful for my time with Jaebum, he showed me a lot of things about myself and I would never forget them. I had loved him, though that love was different, it was still love.

I crept through the quiet dorm, it being well past one in the morning, everyone sound asleep. I guided myself through the darkness, having memorized the way to Jimin’s bedroom years ago. I let out a sigh of relief, feeling as if a weight had been lifted from my shoulders as I came upon his door.

I entered quietly, closing the door behind me. I found him asleep on top of his covers, resting on one arm as the other wrapped around himself. I felt a smile creep across my lips, eyes watering at the sight of him.

I fucking missed him.

I sat down on the bed next to him, fingers running over his naked back, feeling the softness of his tanned skin. He stirred, eyes fluttering open to find my smiling face. He immediately reached up to touch my cheek, making me lean into him.

“You came back.”

“I wanted to.”

He sat up suddenly, taking my face into both hands and kissing me passionately. I reached for him as well, only for him to pull back and stop us.

“Shit, I’m sorry Isolde. I should have asked if you even wanted me to do that first.” he apologized. I simply smiled, shoving him back down onto the bed and crawling on top of him.

“I want you to.” I bent back down and connected our lips, his hands immediately moving to my hips as his tongue breached my mouth. He let out a whine as I ran my fingers through his hair, a moan escaping me as he did. He seamlessly switched our positions, lips never losing their connection as his fingers traveled down to the button on my jeans.

He finally came up for air, our breathing coming out in heavy pants as he moved to take my pants off, discarding them to the floor along with my underwear. He quickly got up off the bed, grabbing my calves and pulling me until my legs were hanging off the mattress.

“Take your shirt off.” he demanded, dropping to his knees between my thighs, my core on display to his lust filled eyes. I did what he asked, hastily getting rid of my shirt and sports bra, stomach tightening in excitement. He pushed my thighs apart, lowering his head down, tongue teasing my folds, making me squirm.

He didn’t tease for long, delving in and finding my already swollen clit and circling it with his wet muscle. My digits tangled into his hair, trying to keep myself under some sort of control.

It wasn’t working.

I removed one hand, covering my mouth with it, trying to silence the cries slipping from my mouth. It only seemed to spur Jimin on more, his palms spreading my legs further, lips wrapping around my bud as he brought a finger to my entrance. He pushed in slowly, my walls instantly tightening around it as he kept up his pace with his mouth.

“Jimin-” I whimpered, hips undulating into him as another finger entered me.

“Come on, baby.” he growled, the vibration of his voice sending a chill through me, making me cry out again. I could feel myself getting closer with each curl of his digits, back arching off the bed towards him in response. I could feel him smiling, but my words got trapped on the tip of my tongue.

He curled those nimble fingers one last time, sending me off the cliff of my climax. He got off the floor quickly, hand clamping over my mouth to quiet me as I came around him. He helped me ride it out, then quickly pulled out, taking his hand from my lips and replaced it with his. I pushed him away, sitting up and crawling out from under him.

“Take those off and lay down on the bed. I want to ride you.” I confessed, watching as his sweats came off, length springing free. I got back on the bed, grabbing his wrist an bringing him with me. He sat back against the headboard and I straddled his hips, taking his face and kissing him hard. His hands palmed my ass, squeezing as I reached down and brought him to my center, sinking down slowly.

“Fuck!” he whined, his voice doing that high pitched crack I loved.

I moved my hips against him, his hands guiding me as I did. I pulled my mouth away, resting my forehead to his as I rode him hard, my thighs already burning. I felt the soft pads of his fingers slide up my back, feeling every part of me that his hands could reach.

“I missed you, so much.” he told me softly, eyes tearing into me, making me melt beneath his gaze.

“I missed you too, Jimin.” I responded, kissing him lightly as he began thrusting up into me. I leaned back, letting him do the work, resting my palms on his thighs as rolled my hips. One of his hands came up to grope my breast, thumb and forefinger toying with my nipple.

“Oh God, shit!” I panted, my second climax burning in my lower regions, pulsing through me in heavy waves. He sped up, feeling me tighten around him once again, hips moving rapidly.

“God damn, I love you.” he professed, pulling my body flush against him, kissing me hungrily as I felt myself let go. I came harder than I had previously, my hips sputtering as he continued. Not even thirty seconds later, he released inside me, painting my walls with his fluids.

“I love you.” I choked out, the two of us riding out our highs together, slowing down substantially.

When we finally came to a stop, we stayed where we were, his arms encircling me, holding me close. I breathed through my nose, trying to catch my breath as his heart drummed rapidly in my ear.

“I promise to be better for you, Isolde. I promise.”

{one year later}

“Mom? Dad? We’re here.”

“Jimin! Isolde! We’re so glad you made it back from America safely!” Mrs. Park exclaimed, greeting us in the hall, wrapping me up in a warm embrace.

Things had changed substantially between Jimin and I, and Jimin and his family. First off, he stood up to them, told them that I was who he wanted and if they weren’t okay with it, they didn’t have to be apart of our lives. From that moment on, they treated him and I very differently. They respected Jimin and his wishes, and in return, respected me.

“We’re happy to be back.” I replied, kissing her cheek gently, granting me a wide smile. Jimin’s hand landed on my lower back, giving me a smile as he looked down at me.

“Here, let me get your coat, my beautiful wife.” Jimin offered with a smirk.

“Why thank you, husband.” I teased, sliding out of it with his help. Jimin handed it off to his father, who hadn’t been paying attention when I removed it. Mrs. Park’s hands flew to cover her mouth, her eyes wide and filling with tears.

“Isolde–Oh my gosh!” she exclaimed, coming back over to me, hand shaking as she reached out to touch my slightly protruding belly.

“We wanted to tell you in person.” Jimin explained, his arm winding around my waist as he gazed down upon at his mother happily. Tears breached her eyes, her small hands touching my belly tenderly. I touched her hand, eyes locking with hers as she smiled through her tears.

“Congratulations, son. We’re so proud of you both.” Jimin’s dad choked out, hugging his son tightly, and Jimin returning it as his eyes filled with tears. He had been so worried about telling them, but I was glad we did. This was a moment that we would both remember for the rest of our lives.

“I’m so happy.” Mrs. Park exclaimed, hugging me again.

“Me too, mom. Me too.”

Thank you to everyone who read the Push and Pull series. I hope you enjoyed the alternate ending I promised. It’s very different, but I think it turned out fairly well. Let me know what you think and whether or not it was decent.

Thank you again for taking the time to read and appreciate this series. It truly is one of my very favorites.

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