#this wasn't intended as shipping but you could see it that way if you want lol

[frostgnawdraws]

Hi guys. This is yet another ibis paint finger doodle that I've been working on every time I think about time buddies at 1am (which, for the record, is every time im awake at 1am) and I finally finished it last night lmao anyways have some sad little guys

[meelkiewee]

🎀My first Laicille fanart I did🎀

👇other doodles inspired by a Winx meme and the movie Red that I love + my Marscylla design while I wait for the animated one!

👇open for my reaction to the succubus as a first time reader (as accurate as possible)

I want to specify that when reading this I still wasn't completely full on their ship, I thought they were cutez together, expecially for the nightmare arc and Marci teaching Laios healing magic, but I was still unsure.

So when these panels come up I just think 'Marci is being nosy as always' and 'he really probably just thought of a monster', which isn't untrue but yk🤷‍♂️

I was totally expecting a 'Laios moment' explanation for the bite lol

Though I also thought it was extra-cute that he let his succubus kiss him on the cheeky like- HOW CUTE IS THAT? AWWW

THEN⁉️

THEN THESE FREAKING PAGES COME UP⁉️‼️

I swear I was reading laying in my bed but I felt the urge to sit up straight and reread like 10 times 'cause I couldn't believe my eyes!

And I was shocked that what I thought was a cute kiss on the cheeck was a freaking lick and a legit bite- There was absolutely ZERO need for it to be on the face at all and yet succubus went for the face bzxjjssj TWICE.

There are so many more reasons why I think this screams undeniably LAICILLE! but there are definitely more accurate analysis on tumblr so I leave the job to those.

I love these pages so much that when I finished the whole manga I printed them and pasted them on my walls.

I love these pages so much that I referenced the lick panel in one of the illustrations I submitted for the Laimar fanthology. (you'll see it when it's time uwu)

After that, I must admit I wasn't concentrated much on the lore with Winged Lion and stuff, so I was just laughing at the funny scenes happening right after:

Laios taking the bite with his face all skrunched up and red from embarrassment and Lion calling him an idiot for that.

He asking for wyvern breakfast even if he han no idea what's going on yet. If it's monster food, you never miss the chance, right?🥴

The freaking 😳 face he does when dream!Marcille greets him good morning. "Oh shit that's my bestie pouting her lips...the bestie that was sexily biting me few moments ago...oh man, oh lord! Act normal! ACT NORMAL!!"

I just find it funny, the image of perfecly logical Laios trying to figure out why the hell his succubus had Marcille's face or even, why not, put aside the whole thing to never be discussed again out of fear of his own blooming feelings or the party's judgement, expecially after what happened with the previous party mage, Asivia.

But fear not, after taking a pause and recollecting myself I continued reading and absorbing the lore like god intended😎👍

In the end, this all scene made me realize that Laios definitely could see her that way and made me start considering the ship more seriously. And since then Marcille also showed up to be warmer to Laios and they often found comfort in each other's help and presence. At that point I myself was fully in love with them<3

Thanks for stopping by and reading my reaction, hopefully you had fun!

[helioswritings]

Want

Shanks x fem!reader

wc: 1.5k

Warnings: none

You’re in love with your captain, you know it like you know the sun is going to come up in the mornings, and go down at night.

The air was cold as you exited the warmth of the bar and the tears welling up in the corners of your eyes made them sting. You felt stupid, you were stupid. Shanks could kiss whoever he wanted in whatever shit bar he wanted to. You weren't together, hell, he didn't even know how you felt, so it was stupid to be jealous.

It didn't stop you though, especially when you closed your eyes and saw his hand trailing up her thigh, of her grabbing his face to pull him in closer, to make the kiss deeper. You debated even going back to the ship tonight, you really didn't want to be around if he was going to bring her aboard, and then you felt really pathetic about that, so you marched back to the Red Force anyways.

You knew how Shanks was, and you were very conscious of who he was, too. One of the Four Emperors of the sea and those who weren't terrified of him probably wanted them in his bed too. You knew he had the ability of making people feel special, you knew the power of his charismatic smile, of his loyalty and ferocity. He'd gotten you to fall in love with him easily enough, after all, even if he didn't mean to. You doubt(more like hoped) he knew, but you knew the rest of the crew had long since caught on. You're pretty sure Yasopp had thrown you a pitying look as you walked out, which really humiliated you because you didn't want to live in a world where fucking Yasopp pitied you.

As you were ambling your way through the sand back to the ship, a hand on your shoulder stilled you.

"Where are you going?" The rough timbre of your captain's voice rumbled in your ear.

"Wasn't feeling like drinking tonight, sorry Captain."

You turned to look him in the eye and regretted it. Shanks had lipstick smudged across the corner of his lips and the pupils of his golden brown eyes were blown. He looked very pleased with himself, or would, if he wasn't wearing a small frown.

"Are you feeling okay? Do I need to call Hongo?"

You laugh, although a little bitterly. "No, Captain, I don't need you to call the ship's doctor because I don't feel like drinking."

His frown deepens. "At least let me see you back to the ship."

You know he's stubborn enough to not leave you alone about it, he's got an awful lot of manners for a pirate.

"You looked like you were having fun," you say instead, "don't let me stop you."

"Nah, I'd rather see you back safely."

And doesn't that just piss you off? That he makes you feel so special when you know the opposite? When you know he doesn't look at you and imagine what it would be like to kiss you? You allow an annoyed huff to leave you, but you don't voice it. If the great Red-Haired Shanks wants to personally escort you, then far be it from you to stop him. What a bastard.

The walk is quiet and as usual you stand on the side where his arm is. He prefers it that way, he says, he tells you he likes to be able to reach out and grab you if he needs to. He's so charming about it.

"Do you need me to stay with you?" He breaks the silence between the two of you.

"I'm a grown woman, I don't need a babysitter." The words are razor sharp, a little harsher than you intend for them to come across.

He closes his eyes and lets out a huff of annoyance. Shanks probably isn't used to this amount of pushback from you. "Let me rephrase: do you want me to stay with you?"

You do, of course you do, but you shake your head. "I'll manage."

His eyes turn a little steely and you know this to be his captain expression. "I'm going to stay with you."

You groan internally. "Are you sure you're not just looking for an excuse to keep me company?" A little harmless flirting didn't hurt anything.

"Always."

And that's too weighty for you right now, especially from someone who had his tongue down another woman's throat a few minutes back.

Shanks escorts you to the ship and then up to his room, which is another thing just off about tonight.

"You'd think I was dying the way you're giving me all this special treatment, Captain."

"I just need to talk to you, to keep you company."

Something warm settles in your chest, something syrupy sweet. You can't get rid of it as you sit on a chair next to his ridiculously sized bed, so you tell him; "this bed is ridiculous."

"My ego needs somewhere to sleep."

You snort. "And I'm sure it sleeps well in a bed like this. It looks like Whitebeard and his whole crew could sleep on this thing."

"Now you're just being ridiculous." He says, though it's with a smile.

"Have to be ridiculous to be on this crew, Captain."

He sobers immediately. "That's what I needed to talk about."

That's almost never good. "Go on."

"Do you want to leave? The crew? You've been acting differently, distant."

You didn't think he would notice, nor did you think he could sound so....vulnerable. Like the thought of you leaving hurt.

"I've just been thinking," you say, and then your eyes widen at the utter despair that crosses his face, "not about leaving! It's like- well, I definitely don't want to say."

His hand brushes your cheek. "You can tell me anything."

And you believe him, you really do. "I'm pretty sure I'm, at least somewhat, in love with you."

He jolts back like you've taken out a cattle prod and shocked him. "You're what?"

The tone of his voice makes you regret your words and you move to get up, but just as soon as you've moved away he's grabbing on to you again. "Are you sure?"

The laugh you let out is wounded. "More sure than anything in my whole life."

Shanks leans forward and he's so so close. You can feel his breath across your face. "I'm...." You don't know what to say, not really. You're afraid that if you're too loud, you'll scare him away.

"Is this your first kiss?" He's not teasing, just curious.

"Far from," you answer, still whispering, "I've just never wanted it this bad."

A finger trails across your collarbone and you shiver. "How bad?"

"Like it's all I can think about."

He presses a small kiss to the corner of your lip. "Can I tell you something?"

"Yes."

"I've never done it when I really wanted it."

You rub at the lipstick on his face. "Are you sure?"

He rubs his head into your neck. "I've wanted you so bad I can feel the want running through my veins."

"Careful there, Captain, you're sounding like someone's dirty novel."

The two of you are nose to nose now. "Shanks."

It feels more intimate, somehow, even though you can feel his breath fan across your face, even though every movement makes your noses brush. Absent-mindedly, you lick your lips. His eyes track the movement and you shiver. His cheeks are flushed and you don't think it's from the ale.

Shanks cups the sides of your face gently, like he's holding something fragile and precious. He leans closer.

"Can I kiss you?"

You nod like you can't bring yourself to talk - like the idea of talking is at all appealing to you right now,

He leans forward and captures your lips with his own. He's like a man starved, kissing you like he'll never eat or drink again. You gasp into his mouth and he takes advantage of it. The feel of his tongue startles you into backing away and he frowns.

"I'm sorry." He tells you.

"Don't be. It was just a lot, kissing like you weren't just kissing someone else."

He touches the corner of his mouth, pulling away vermillion stains with his fingers. "When you walked away, I followed after you."

"You looked like you were having fun."

"She wasn't you, though. They never are."

Shanks pulls you on the bed with him, his lone arm circling around you to tug you close. "I never feel the same way about them as I do you."

You can't help it. "And how do you feel about me?"

"A lot. Like I've waited my whole life for you. I feel a whole lot about you."

Your snort turns into a giggle as you bury your face in his neck. "That doesn't even make any sense."

"Neither does how I feel about you."

You yawn, the softness of his bed and the warmth of his body suddenly becoming too much for you. "Goodnight, Shanks."

He kisses the top of your head, "Goodnight, sweetheart."

And it is.

[interdimensionaltales]

Drifting back to you

Pairing: Halbrand/Sauron x reader

Word Count: 981

Warnings: besides not having been beta, for now, none. (this will probably change in the future)

Summary: What if you were on a quest to figure out why you're so different from your kind and ended up stranded at sea with Sauron himself disguised as a mortal Southlander? What is it that sets you apart? Can you find the answers and accept yourself? Why is Sauron, the most powerful sorcerer in the world, pretending to be a commoner? Trying to forget? Binding his time? Pretending nothing happened? On top of that, there's a force that brings you two together and keeps you both drifting back to each other again and again no matter how much he, or you both, try to deny it. And the power that he feels coming from you may be it or it may be love. That's what you both need to figure out.

PS: This probably has been done before, the idea is not revolutionary. I read a lot of fic, but my ship is Haladriel and other fandoms so I've never read anything like this and I'm a little bitch for someone powerful meeting their equal and questioning everything so... Here we are.

This is the first time I'm trying to write my own, please be kind, but feedback and advice are welcomed. English is not my first language. This fic is intended to be multichaptered, but I figured I'd post what I came up with first to see if I could get a boost or the very least some feedback that would help me to get to a full fic. Anyway, let me know if you guys think it has potential! Thanks for reading!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

There wasn't much that could bring you comfort in a strange land, with strange people and their customs. After what you have been through, one would think that any comfort would do. Being stranded at sea has a way of making people seek out the best that life has to offer once back on land, but for you, there wasn't much to find beside the company of the one you were stranded with. Halbrand. The tall brunette, with his calm stance and inquisitive eyes that came to be so familiar now. No matter what wonders you would find on this so-called island of Númenor, you always ended up drifting back to him. So there you were again at his shores.

''It's been a fortnight now, Halbrand,'' you said, pulling out a stool at one of the bar's table, sitting in defeat.'' A fortnight, they said we would be given a chance to get into a guild. What are they waiting for? What's taking so long? What are we supposed to do meanwhile?''

''Enjoy our stay.'' he replied, amusement plastered on his face when he saw the look on yours.

''I have, and now I'm ready to do something more meaningful. '' You sighed. You were so tired of this aimless days filled with ale and idle time. You couldn't wait anymore, you needed answers, you needed to understand what was happening to you and the only way to do that was to get into that tower, the library. ''There has to be a way to speed things up.'' you said and rested your face on your hands.

He looked at you with those lazy eyes, a soft gaze but ever inquisitive. Why were you so set on getting a job? It couldn't be just boredom, otherwise, you would have taken on any other jobs available. It has to be the tower, but what do you want to find there? You were rubbing your face in frustration but that didn't tell him any more than he already knew so he drank the rest of the content in his cup and spoke again.

''There are many ways,'' he said standing up, ''You just need to know how far are you willing to go.''

He gestured to you ''Let's go for a walk.''

Halbrand knew. He knew that whatever it was that he was feeling didn't have space in his life or in him right now. It never had, it couldn't have. He was given a second chance at peace if you could call it given. He should have just left, he should have started putting some distance between you two a while ago, nothing good comes from wanting more than you can have, even worse, deserve it. But there he was, walking around with you, listening to you, being captivated by you, and far worse, wanting to help you get what you want. So he stayed, just a while longer, he did indeed tell you to enjoy things a bit more, he was just following his own advice and basking in your presence while he could ignore that gnawing feeling in him. The one that kept telling him how starved he was of something only you could give him.

''Where are we going?'' You asked taking him out of his reverie. He looked at you and licked his lips, a reminiscence of those unwanted feelings still lingering in his mind and the thought of where you both could go flooded him making it harder to shove those feelings down.

''We are going to speed things up'' He said making his way into the busy streets. ''More often than not, life is nothing but a trade, ''he continued. ''If you want something you need to know what to give in return.''

''Halbrand,'' you called struggling to keep up, ''We can't buy our crest, there's nothing we can give in re-- Sorry.'' you said bumping into a stranger, which made you fall behind a bit so you rushed to catch up with him. ''Even if we could,'' you continued zigzagging your way into the crowd so you were just a couple steps behind him, ''We don't have any-'' when he turned around and you ran into him, your face right into his chest. ''-money.'' He held you in place by your arms, balancing you. People going around you both in the crowd. You were never this close to him before. Sure, on the raft, you had to sleep side by side for the lack of space, but nothing like this. You were so close you could taste the salt on his skin, he smelled of smoke, leather, and iron. You were just about to evaporate into smoke too if it wasn't for the feeling of those callous hands on your skin, condensing you into form. Taking a sharp breath, you looked at him. He was looking down, his gaze fixed on your face. A battle raging in his hazy eyes

The way you were pressed against him made him never want to let you go, he had barely managed to shove those feelings down, and with one touch of you, he was lost in it again. What was this? All he could think about was how he wanted to keep touching you. The softness of your skin was a foreign concept to him, nothing in his later life has ever felt like this. It made him think of before, of the beginning. Enough! This is madness. There's no going back and no way this could work. It took all the strength in him to let go of you. It's a waste of time, he thought, there's no way I deserve this. ''Let's go'' he said, but took your hand nonetheless, guiding you through the crowd.

[turbolezgooo]

Why ya'll hate on Cait and call her a dictator?

Well-written characters often have a story deeper than what you explicitly see them do or hear them say. Just because everything is set in a fantasy world, doesn't mean that characters are not affected by tragic events and the human condition.

First of all, Cait wasn't the one who made a police state. Ambessa and the council did that. Ambessa orchestrated the whole thing. Cait went along with it because she was turned around by grief. That shit messes with your judgment, but she was still trying to do what she and Vi agreed on. To focus on the real problem and prevent hurting innocent people.

Cait tried to control an unraveling situation AND literal warlord WHILE being inexperienced in how to deal with it, having a big ol' lesbian break up, AND dying inside.

You could see that when Cait argued to Ambessa that there are innocent people and there MUST be justifiable cause to arrest anyone. In Cait and Ambessa's interactions it's implied that Cait was getting in the way of Ambessa's agenda off-screen. She tried to keep something worse from happening because she does acknowledge the historical and current oppression of Zaunites.

This mirrors the way she offered Vi the badge to give her a voice in what happens to her sister if the enforcers caught her. The enforcers coming after Jinx was going to happen regardless of Cait. She took control by volunteering and taking precautions. See- While they did use gas, Vi would never agree to something that would permanently hurt the people of Zaun. The tactic gave them fewer chances of having to physically fight Zaunites who were just trying to defend themselves. Believe it or not, it was a controlled operation until grief got the better of Cait and things looked worse than it actually was.

The way that Cait deeply believes in equality in spite of a personal vendetta is why Ambessa sent Maddie to try and control her by 'filling' her hole (no pun intended). When Maddie attempted to have Cait stop the police state situation and withdraw, she did focus on Jinx at first but the second part of not wanting to make things worse was something she had a lot more to say about before Maddie interrupted. And Cait was right. What would have happened if she hadn't taken the role and played along? A puppet councillor or Ambessa herself would have been the figure head and do so much worse. Those people don't have the same perspective and understanding as Cait.

When Cait and Vi argue about listening to a war pig oink poison in her ear, she yells "I know!" as she throws a piece of war ship used in strategizing. You can tell her role was a strategic choice to have some control over the events that unfolded. That's why Vi didn't villinize her. Vi understood that Cait never really accepted anything Ambessa said. That's why she helped Vi at the commune. Cait was a double agent taking shit from all sides to stop worse things from happening.

She had grief and really crap options, but she always chose the lesser of the evils to try and stay true to who she really was. She even resigns in her argument with Vi, that she didn't put Jinx, her own mother's killer, in jail or punish her in any way. It's another example of her faltering in decision-making when overwhelming or unexpected things happen and it also tells us what she is. She's human. She doesn't make excuses for taking on an objectively bad role and making mistakes. When she said "We can't erase our mistakes.", she's also talking about herself. She takes responsibility and tries to do good. In the end, all she wanted was closure for her grief by having Jinx accept responsibility NOT by killing or abusing her or innocent Zaunites for that matter.

Imo there's a lot in Arcane that shows Cait as a flawed but inherently good person, and Vi absolutely knows it. They see each other warts and all. If you think CaitVi's lex scene was poorly written read this: https://www.tumblr.com/turbolezgooo/768190482340773888/bro-this-outrage-about-caitvi-relationship-in-s2?source=share

[marzipanandminutiae]

Eggers confirmed in interview that Ellen wasn't a child, she was teenager at the start of the film. You can probably say there's case of ephebophilia. But there is no CSA there. Also Eggers absolutely saw it as Dark romance and ships it himself. He wouldn't be doing it if there was CSA.

And that's fine, but not everyone accepts Word of God as canon

My thoughts on Eggers' interview statements are that he should have made his intentions clearer if that's what he was going for, because a huge portion of the audience came away with the impression that it was about someone's stalker/rapist coming back to jeopardize the life she'd made for herself out from under his thumb. And like...if he wanted people to not think that, he should have made directing choices that made the onscreen story match his vision better.

You're free to interpret it however you want. What I take issue with is people saying that there's One True Interpretation and no viable way to see it in any other light. There's one interpretation that the director intended, but the movie he actually made leaves holes to interpret it a different way. He shouldn't have made it that way if he had a very specific story to tell.

How can I see it as CSA? Simple. She said she was "a child" when it started and even if she was a young teenager, it being the early 1830s (assuming she's like 20-23 at time of canon, based on statistical age at first marriage for women back then) doesn't magically make 15-year-olds adults. 15 back then was about like 17 now- not a Tiny Baby, but decidedly not a Full Grown-Up either. "Child" CAN be a euphemistic term for a naive or inexperienced adult, but it's not always

And maybe if he wanted people to not interpret her as a literal child...he shouldn't have had her characterize herself that way in the dialogue, talking about when all of this started? "I was so young," "I didn't know better," "I was a fool," "I was naive," etc. SO MANY clearer wordings there. They already didn't get a child actress to play her in the opening scene; without that line, I'd assume it had been like. A few years before her marriage, when she was maybe 17-18, and just seen it as abuse rather than arguable CSA. It's a weird dialogue choice if he wanted to convey "the vampire sex started when she was young but not unacceptably young," like many other weird choices that I felt were counterproductive to his stated narrative aims.

Doesn't mean my interpretation is objectively correct either! But you don't see me going around saying that there's No Way Anyone Could See It As Consensual And That's Wrong And Bad.

I have both been there and done that before, coming from a fandom (Crimson Peak) where there's no way to interpret a central relationship as peer CSA/COCSA if you go by Word of God, but there's absolutely space for that based on what ended up in the actual movie. And I've had to make peace with it, even though I ship that couple to the moon and back.

You like these fake people kissing in this way, and other people don't. And that's fine! You don't need a big moral justification for it, or to have the Single Correct Interpretation!

[perseephoneee]

winter ball [ficmas day 14] [kol mikaelson x f!reader] cinderella au

↳ masterlist ↳ ship exchange ↳ taglist ↳ ficmas 2024

author's note: this is less wintery than i intended (whoops) but also this might be one of my favorite things I've ever written!!! i'm literally so hyped for it!!! p.s. thanks to charmed for all the spells lol

playlist:

once upon a dream -- lana del rey

that's so true -- gracie abrams

just like christmas -- low

The floor was ashy again. 

Your sisters were horrendous with maintaining the fireplace, and always left the place filthy. Of course, it fell on you to clean up. You always had the clean up. 

You were cleaning the apothecary, brushing up all the scattered herbs and dead things that your stepsisters would drag in under the guise of 'magic.' They had no magic of their own, you knew that. Your stepmother always indulged them, always. 

They never stayed long at work, though, always finding an excuse to go somewhere else. So it was just you in the shop. 

The bells rang above your door. 

You looked up to see Prince Kol walking into your store. You straighten up immediately, dipping into a curtsy. He waved you off. 

"No pleasantries, it's pretentious, and I hate it," he drawled. He was the youngest of his three brothers, commonly known as the wily one. Also known as the devilishly handsome one. Not that you thought about it. 

"Apologies, Your Highness," you murmured, head still bowed. "Is there something I can help you with?"

"According to my network, you're the best apothecary in the kingdom," Kol shoved his hands in his pockets, rifling around until he found what he was looking for. He planted a flower on the table. "I want your help identifying this."

You picked up the flower, twirling it between your fingers. It seemed like one of the common valley flowers, but the energy of it felt off. You touched some of the petals. 

"I'd have to consult my books; I don't recognize it immediately," you hummed. 

"I need it identified sooner rather than later, and I'll pay handsomely," Kol grinned. You looked up at him. His eyes regarded you, cooly, taking into thought every detail. You felt shivers down your spine. 

"May I ask the purpose of this project?" you inquired. 

"Secrets, darling," Kol put a finger to his lips. "This is also confidential; don't mention it to anyone."

"To whom would I mention it?" you muttered. You bit the inside of your cheek to stop any more comments. He smiled gleefully. "I'll check in tomorrow."

You watched him leave the way he came, a flurry of energy here and then gone. You sat down at the desk in the back, twirling the flower stem. No one was in the shop to witness you, so you flicked your fingers and brought several books over to your table. They flipped open to the pages you needed. You were too lazy to stand up and peruse the shelf, especially after your morning. You stayed camped over your desk until your stepmother and sisters got back. They whisked through the door like a tornado. 

"We must make an appointment with the modiste to prepare," your stepmother, Ms. Laurel, said. She glanced around the store as if it personally offended her and as if it wasn't the thing that kept her finances. Your step sisters, Hana and Monet, were not much better. 

"I will have the best chance because of my lovely neck," Monet crooned. She acted like a swan. Hana nudged her over. 

"But I have the best ankles."

"He will not care if neither of you can carry a conversation," Ms. Laurel groaned, hand on her head. She finally noticed your presence. "You still need to dust."

You had, but she would never admit that. 

"What's at the modiste?" you asked, voice small. Ms. Laurel rolled her eyes. 

"Dresses, you dull girl," Ms. Laurel took a seat by the shelf, rubbing her temples. "Prince Elijah is seeking a wife before his coronation, and he's opening invitations to every eligible girl in the kingdom."

No wonder your step sisters were in a tizzy. Not that they'd have a chance. Hana could be mean, but mostly, the two of them were the product of their upbringing. Vapid and clueless to true suffering. You closed your books, hiding the flower under some papers. No, you wouldn't tell your stepmother about Kol's arrival. That was something you'd keep to yourself. 

"And before you ask, you are not attending. I'll need someone to manage the apothecary."

"Not that I wanted to go anyway," you grumbled. Her excuse was false; no one would have come to the apothecary if the crown prince had a ball. Both of you knew that. 

Ms. Laurel whisked out of the shop soon after with your sisters in tow. Some excuses are being made for their absence. Her name might've been on the lease, but it was not hers. It was yours. You waited until the last rings of the bell on the door could be heard before bothering to use magic again. Your books weren't giving you any information, so it was time to try a little trick.

Like an extension of yourself, you let your magic weave around the petals, dancing across as it sought its origin. Tastes and purposes came to your mind, and with perfect clarity, you knew the flower for what it was. You dropped it hurriedly on the table, alarmed. At least you weren't a fool and didn't ingest the flower. You'd probably be dead already. 

You were a little annoyed at the prince for just leaving it with you. 

Like clockwork, he came in again tomorrow. He was once again dressed very casually for a man of his status. He wore the same flirting grin. 

"Have you discovered its origins yet?" he asked, hands clasped behind his back. You leveled a glare at him. 

"Capriforacacus," you raised a brow. "Commonly known as the 'devil's eye,' it's a type of extremely poisonous huckleberry. It's the only one that happens to flower."

"Ah, so you are as good as they say," he purrs. The low timbre of his voice sends shivers up your spine. "Little witchling."

You bristle at the name. "I'm no witch."

"Only magic can truly identify devil's eye," Kol tsked. "That borne of magic can only be found the same ways."

"You tricked me."

"I tested you," Kol shrugged. "I'm so happy I did. You are a sight when you are angry."

Despite him being a pain in your ass, there was nothing malicious about the youngest prince. He was a trickster and annoying, but he looked at you in wonder and intrigue. This was only a witchhunt in the sense that he needed a witch. He had no intention of hurting you. It didn't do much to take away the sour taste on your tongue. 

He leaned as elbows against your table, leaning in close to you. If it were polite, you would've pushed your seat back. As it was, you didn't want to show any vulnerability. Kol grinned. 

"Now that I know I can trust you," Kol smirked. "I do have a real task for you."

"Identifying poisons?"

"Unsure," he said. He pulled out a bunch of random things from his breeches pockets. A coin from the Gulf Coast, a bird's femur, dried plants, and more. It looked like a bad collection of oddities. "This is a secret, darling, so don't utter it to anyone."

You had no one to tell, even if you wanted. 

"I shall be made Spymaster when my brother, 'Lijah, becomes king. I'm adept at sneaking around, and I have no desire to rule. Elijah, despite boring me, knows that. I've already started into my role even though coronation is not for a while."

You had the sense that Kol made a very good spy. He was charming and mischievous and didn't seem to initially come off as threatening. You got the feeling he was actually one of the most dangerous. 

"I have reason to believe that someone is making an attempt on my brother's life," Kol said delicately. Your breath caught in your throat. "We've had various dignitaries coming to stay for the ball at the end of the month, and I've been finding various totems such as these throughout the castle. I've run with enough witches in my day to sense a hex."

He wasn't wrong. Much of what was on the table were various elements in spellwork. Not necessarily evil, but it ws safer to imagine it was for nefarious reasons. You picked up one of the bird bones and grimaced. There was no 'light' spell that utilized animal bones. 

"What are you hoping I will do?" you asked, looking up at him. His dark eyes regarded you cooly. 

"Figure out the spell, figure out the caster," he grinned, the light making his teeth look as sharp as fangs. "I'll be visiting periodically to help, of course. Monitor your progress."

"Make sure I'm not spilling your secrets to the highest bidder," you answered. He quirked a brow, confirming your answer. 

"You will be paid handsomely for your task."

"I'd hope so," you answered without thinking. Curse your stupid tongue. It only spurred him on further. 

"Aren't you a firecracker? I look forward to our next meeting," Kol bowed to you, heading back out of the store. He paused at the threshold, turning to look at you. The sun from the outside gave his hair a warm glow, and he looked every part of the ruggedly handsome prince. "Till later, witchling."

You seethed at the nickname. 

~

When you weren't doing chores for Ms. Laurel, you were researching the various objects. 

The only benefit of your 'room' was that it was on the lowest form of your modest townhome. It was essentially a closet, but far away from prying eyes that allowed you to practice your magic freely. Your body grew hot and itchy when you couldn't cast, and you reveled in the times by yourself when you would conjure the elements. It served even more use now as you utilized your magic to further your research. You weren't closer to an answer, although you were eliminating options. That much was good. 

Your room was next to the kitchen, and occasionally, you had to hide what you were doing from your stepmother, who would come to berate you, and Monet, who would come to steal food. Sometimes, she asked how you were. You weren't sure if she fully meant it. 

You didn't get to see Kol until a week later. 

You had had minimal interactions with the prince, but you found that you missed his energy. You were often a footnote, nothing of importance. Your father was once a respected healer, your mother a hidden witch, and the apothecary renowned for its medicine. Witchcraft was by no means illegal, but it wasn't welcome. Your mother always managed to disguise her healing as something else, even if it was a miracle. You wished you had the same grace she did. 

Your father would've been able to help you with your research, especially before he started to lose his memory before he remarried a woman just so he wouldn't lose the shop. It's times like these you miss him the most. 

It was late afternoon when Kol arrived. He came bearing gifts. You perked up as he took out a bottle of wine and a fresh loaf of bread. 

"I thought it would be nice to have nourishment while studying."

"I think you're spoiling me," you said, mouth salivating from the scents. You hadn't had anything fresh like that loaf in a while, and the wine was way above what you could afford. Kol poured you a glass, and you took a delicate sip. It was full-bodied in a way that made your bones settle into themselves. "Thank you."

"Anything for a pretty witch," Kol winked. You wonder if he flirted with everybody. Part of you hoped it was special only to you. "What progress have you made?"

You spent hours at the shop with Kol, flipping the door sign to 'closed' to offer you some privacy. Kol was your initial assessment and so much more. He was ridiculously intelligent and very curious about the magical world. He was also a little reckless and definitely lived life hanging precariously over the edge. You wondered if he ever worried about falling. 

You conjured a little apparition of a rabbit to quell his curiosity. 

"Elijah plans to welcome magic users onto his court," Kol said, his eyes still full of wonder from the rabbit bouncing around the room. You perked up. 

"He does?"

"He feels that the stigma has gone on too long, that it's time we utilized and appreciated the gifts of witches and warlocks."

You wondered how that would go over with the general public. Kol must've seen the hesitation in your face. 

"Darling," Kol breathed. "Don't be ashamed of your talents and what talents they are." He grinned. You felt yourself grow lighter under his gaze. 

"You're not bad," you whispered, the setting sun casting the shop in tones of pink and orange.

"Did you think I was?"

"I didn't know what to think," you answered honestly. "Most people describe you as dangerous."

"Who says I'm not?"

"You're nice to me," you looked at the bread crumbs from your meal. "That isn't very dangerous."

"Ah, but I did get you wine drunk," Kol grinned, nodding towards your empty glass. He wasn't wrong; your head felt full of fluff. "So, maybe I am as dangerous as they say."

"Are you trying to make me scared of you?" you inquired.

"Is it working?" He leaned forward on the table, almost nose to nose with you. He had thick lashes that you were jealous of. 

"No," you responded. You were being truthful in your statement. He knew it, too. He looked into your eyes as if searching for more truths about you. You didn't know how to offer anything else to him. 

He came over a few more times leading up to the ball, but you were no closer to solving your mystery. One night, you figured out the exact ingredients for the spell. It would bring its target into a deep sleep. Not death, but merely a coma. It still wasn't good, though. 

"Could it be one of the female dignitaries?" you asked. "Securing an engagement so that if Prince Elijah goes into this sleep, she will have the opportunity to rule without the threat of murder?"

"Then she can con him with a fertility spell," Kol mused, tracing the rim of his wine glass with his finger. "Why a sleep spell?"

You weren't closer to figuring out who cast it. 

You did enjoy your time with Kol, though. How could you not? He supplied you with wine and food and laughter, things you rarely got yourself. Camped out in the shop at night, it was your own little world. One where he wasn't the prince, and you weren't a witch. You just were. Sometimes, you caught him looking at you, and your skin would grow hot. You dreamed once of stolen kisses and lingering touches, and the next day, when you saw him, you could barely make eye contact. You were getting into territories you could never come back from. What would happen when your mission was over?

That sadness overcame you the night of the ball. Kol had promised to pay you for your services the day afterward, but then you knew you'd never see him again. Your heart hurts because of it. 

You were sipping tea in the greeting room when your sisters whisked down in their gowns. 

"You both look lovely," you said, giving them a small smile. Monet smiled back, but Hana ignored you, checking her reflection in a mirror. 

"Of course they do; they're gorgeous," Ms. Laurel said as she came down the stairs after them. She was also dressed up, almost as flashy as them. You'd think she was also out to secure an engagement. She pointed a gloved finger at you. "We will be back by midnight. I expect you to have our rooms ready and baths drawn by then."

"Yes, mother."

"Good, we best get going. We're securing our futures!" she cheered, ushering her girls out the door. You watched them with a pang of envy. You didn't care about marrying Elijah, but you'd be a liar to say you didn't enjoy pretty things. You would've liked to wear a pretty dress and see Kol. Maybe he wouldn't have pretended you were a secret. 

You made yourself some dinner with whatever you had stored in your icebox before settling down at the table with all your books again. Something was tugging at your memory, but you couldn't think about what it was. Suddenly, it clicked. You rushed to grab all the spell elements. 

The lesson learned was that maybe you shouldn't always be wine-drunk while trying to find a potential killer. You would need magic for this secret. You whispered the words in the air, imagining each item being a tangled thread. You subtly unpicked all of them, untying the knots and moving them to the side until they formed a bigger picture. When you got to the last one, you gasped. You were an idiot to not see it before. 

If it was true, though, then the spell would be happening tonight, and everyone could see it. You needed to get to the ball. But with what? Even if you could get there, the guards would not let a simple girl like you in. You rushed towards your mother's grimoire. 

You hid it under your bed so your stepsisters couldn't ruin it or Ms. Laurel couldn't burn it. You flipped to the section about disguise spells. You thanked your mother as you found what you were looking for. 

You grabbed the necessary ingredients and laid them out in a salt circle, standing in the middle. You held some loose salt in your hand and sprinkled it over you as you recited the words:

Who you were

You're now another

Take this dress

Make it something other

Your simple clothes were reimagined into a glimmering gown. Your sleeves were gossamer incarnate, the bodice tight before flowing out into the skirt in tiers of satin and chiffon. It made you look delicate and ethereal. It was perfect. 

It came with matching sparkling slippers. They were annoyingly comfortable. 

While you solved your problem of an outfit (and hair, your mother really thought of everything), you still needed a ride. An idea came to you. You conjured a water horse, one of the spirits from the fifth element, and using another of your mother's spells made it corporeal. It was a beautiful white steed, happy to take you where you needed. It would return to its place in the spirit realm by the end of the night. 

All the magic you used made your blood sing and your vision sharper. You raced towards the castle, the wind whipping your hair in a way that made you laugh. You couldn't help it. You felt so free. You ended up at the castle in record time, and even though you were late, no one seemed to care. Everyone was invited, after all. 

You caught a few glances as you raced through the front entrance, searching for the ballroom. You came onto a large staircase in the middle of a dance. Your eyes searched the crowd for Kol, but you couldn't find him, so you started making your way down. You ignored the many eyes looking at you. 

You almost crashed into Kol at the bottom of the stairs. Where he had come from, you had no idea. 

He was dressed like a prince tonight, not like the hellion he normally was. Your breath was taken from you as you regarded him with new eyes. He was always this handsome (you knew that), but in this look, everyone could see it too. 

"Hi, witchling," Kol smiled. His eyes couldn't stop looking at you. "Care to join me?"

He offered you his hand. You heard some people start whispering to each other. You were a strange girl being asked to dance by one of the princes; you suppose it warranted some fascination. Your words were failing you, so you nodded and let him whisk you to the dance floor. He pulled you into a simple waltz. 

"Kol–"

"I resent you for coming tonight," he whispered to you. You looked at him in confusion. "You make it very hard to move on from you."

"Move on?"

"You have bewitched me, darling," he murmurs. "In body and soul."

"Kol," you breathe. You wanted to ask him why you, of all people, have caught his attention; you want to grab him by his lapels and kiss him. You want to run away with him forever. But you remember why you came, not to kiss a prince, but to save one. "Kol, I know who's behind the spell."

He froze at that, his expression becoming guarded again. You whispered into his ear, and he blanched. 

"We need to get you out of here. Now," he cursed, looking around the ballroom. 

"What? Why?"

"He knows I've been looking into it. And you're a witch," Kol said simply. "He'll pin the whole thing on you."

"Kol–" you started but were cut off by shouts of the royal guard. Kol wasn't lying. They were going to use you as a scapegoat. Kol pushed you in the direction of the exit, trying to buy you time. You ran as fast as you could in your heels, picking up your skirts so you didn't trip and tumble on the ground. People were pushed out of the way by the guards, some crying out from the intrusion. You didn't stop, though; you ran towards the entrance. 

Your feet betrayed you. You tripped on the stairs, one of your slippers falling off. You ignored it, continuing down. Several guards came out at the bottom, trapping you. You breathed heavily as you realized this was the end of the road. 

"Arrest her for conspiracy against the crown," the chilling voice of Prince Klaus, the middle brother, crooned. He came down the steps without a care in the world. His eyes were cold and distant. 

"Don't arrest her!" Kol yelled, running up behind his brother. He grabbed your shoe on the way down, almost brandishing it as a weapon as he skidded to a stop. "She's innocent. This is a ploy."

"My dear brother, so desperate for attention," Klaus drawled. "Using this poor girl as an instrument to get the crown. I suppose we'll have to arrest him too."

Kol bristled, and you could do nothing as two guards grabbed him and started to pull him away. Klaus smiled gleefully, no kindness for his brother. You felt the guards attempt to grab your arms, but you wrestled out of them, magic surging through you, providing strength. Your mind went on autopilot, the spells coming easily as you held off the guards with one hand and pointed an accusing finger at Prince Klaus. 

"For those who want the truth revealed

Open hearts and secrets unsealed

From now on, until it's now again

After which, the memory ends.

Those who are now in this place

Will hear the truths in time and space."

Klaus stumbled back, the force of your spell knocking him off his feet. You let the guards go, and the force of your suddenly removing your shield caused them to fall on the steps. You took a step towards Klaus. 

"Prince Klaus conspired to hurt Crown Prince Elijah in an effort to secure the crown for himself," you announced to the crowd. You don't remember the last time you were this brave. "He utilized witchcraft from one of the visiting nations in order to put Prince Elijah in a deep sleep. As the second eldest brother, the crown would fall to him."

The crowd gasped as Klaus' cheeks grew red, his glare focused on you. 

"But Prince Elijah is his brother; he could never kill him. This was the better option. He planned to put it on one of the visiting dignitaries to act as the dutiful brother taking over a post he didn't ask for. Prince Kol started noticing the threats and started investigating, and Prince Klaus knew he needed to pivot. So, he decided to use Prince Kol and me as scapegoats. Positioning the reckless prince and the witch as the enemies."

You took another step towards Klaus, brow raised. 

"Isn't that right, Klaus?" you murmured. 

"That is all true," Klaus said, eyes widening as he slapped a hand over his mouth. You grinned. Your truth spell would make it so he couldn't lie. 

“Niklaus, it’s true?”

Everyone turned to see Prince Elijah, face distraught. He had come out at the end of the confession. You watched Klaus struggle to stop the words from coming out. 

"It's not fair that you get to be King," Klaus seethed. You thought you imagined someone fainting. Elijah looked sad, and you felt for him. You didn't want to imagine what it would feel like to have your sibling do something like that to you. 

"Please release my brother, Kol," Elijah sighed. "And put Prince Klaus in the dungeons for sentencing. Everyone, please go back inside and enjoy the party while the night is young."

The guards took Klaus inside, the rest rounding up the rest of the guests to give Elijah some time to process. You tried to sneak back inside, but Elijah held up a hand, stopping you. 

"You helped my brother discover the spell, correct?" Elijah asked. He was much calmer than Klaus and Kol, much more methodical. You thought its why he would make a better King. 

"Yes, Your Highness," you bowed. Elijah stepped closer to you, taking your hand and kissing its back. Your cheeks flushed. 

"Thank you for saving me."

"It-It was mostly Prince Kol, Your Highness," you stumbled. "He came to me for help."

"Do not sell yourself short, miss–?" Elijah paused, tilting his head to regard you. You recognized the head tilt as something Kol did as well. 

"Y/N, Your Highness."

"Please, call me Elijah," he smiled. He turned towards Kol, who was standing to the side, attempting nonchalance. The desperate look in his eyes betrayed him. Elijah left your side to walk over to Kol's. He offered him his hand. 

"Thank you, for protecting me and your family," Elijah smiled. Kol's expression made your heart break. "You are a better Mikaelson than any of us will ever be."

Kol shook his hand, but Elijah pulled him into a hug. He released him just as quickly. He glanced between you and Kol and smiled knowingly. He whispered something to Kol, which caused him to blush. You had never seen the younger prince embarrassed, but you were lying if you said you didn't enjoy it. 

"You are welcome at the palace anytime, miss Y/N," Elijah bowed to you. "I expect to see you soon."

He left you outside with Kol. You shuffled on the steps, your bare foot cold against the marble. Kol noticed and held up your shoe. 

"May I?" he asked. You nodded, your voice caught in your throat. He kneeled before you, gently lifting up your ankle and putting the shoe back on. His touch was somehow both cold and hot, the skin on his hands rough from use. The image of him kneeling before you was enough to send your heart tumbling. He stood up, giving you a grin. 

"You saved my family."

"You say 'save' as if I singlehandedly figured this out," you said. "It was you as well."

"I provided wine," he laughed. "You provided the knowledge."

"At least Prince Klaus didn't intend to kill your brother," you shrugged. "Although, I know that doesn't truly offer any consolation."

"It doesn't," Kol agreed. "But it'll be okay. Because of you."

"You both are putting a lot of pressure on me."

"I can't help it," Kol shrugged. He took your hands in his, brushing his fingers over your knuckles. "You're a vision."

"You don't have to talk to me now that the job is done," you breathed, looking down at your hands. Your heart clenched in preparation for rejection. 

"What makes you think you aren't stuck with me?" Kol smirked. "I've spent years looking for someone like you."

"A witch?"

"A princess."

He looked at you with a molten intensity that set your insides to ash. You wondered if you were on fire with how hot he made you. You opened and closed your mouth, unable to respond. Kol lifted your hand to his lips, kissing every single finger with a determination that made you melt. 

"You can't be… I'm nobody," you stuttered, but Kol grinned, holding his hands to his chest. 

"I started to fall in love with you from the first day," Kol answered smoothly. "My brother all but begged me to propose to you. You are not a nobody to me."

“But…I…”

"Most marriages have been built on less," Kol cupped your cheek, his thumb brushing over your skin. "Gods know I would've been betrothed to some boring noble woman."

"I…" you had no words. You couldn't say you loved him yet, but you knew you were dangerously close to it. All those hours and days spent together, every conversation and stolen laughter. You felt genuine terror when they started dragging him away. You knew that by saying yes, you were all but solidifying your heart as his forever. You found you weren't afraid of it. You found it made you feel free. "...Yes."

"Yes?"

"Yes, I'll marry you," you breathed. "Kol–"

He cut you off with a kiss like he had been a starving man and you were an oasis. You had never been kissed before; your only expectations were those from the gossip you heard around the market. This was infinitely better than all of those. One hand cupped your cheek while the other gripped your waist, pulling you closer to him. You wrapped your arms around his neck, sighing. He took that opportunity to deepen the kiss. You felt like you could kiss him forever. 

He pulled away to your mild protest. "You are a vision in this dress. If I were a worse man, I'd take it off of you."

"Kol," you protested, giving him a warning glare. He just chuckled, kissing you again. 

"I'm all yours, darling. All yours."

taglist: @mayfieldss @rafecameronswhore @evasmlp @thefutureastronaut

[impactrueno]

Wanted to say, I really appreciate your take on the shipping debate. Mostly because, when I was a kid, I was definitely projecting hard onto Lydia... but I also never shipped them. "Platonic soulmates" is how I always saw them, even if I wouldn't have had the words for it then. It actually surprised me to find out people did ship them, though once I got over the initial "wait what?" of it all it made sense.

I think I now occupy a weird grey area where I both do and do not ship it, in that my interaction is based entirely on how the author intends it. If it's platonic, cool, if they're a ship, I'm along for the ride. I just like interacting with these characters being written well, in whatever form it takes.

I think that's why your comic has resonated with me so well, because yeah. I *can* see how it could be interpreted romantically. There's not nothing there. But it occupying that same grey area of "could be either" without feeling like a will they/won't they is so... warm? It manages to feel respectful to both sides of the conversation. Knowing you don't intend them to get together romantically in your canon is nice, because like you've said, the way it's written isn't alienating to either the platonic or romantic preference.

Maybe I'm biased because I tend to stick to "they're platonic unless you convince me otherwise" on a case by case basis, but I think you're making something lovely for everyone. It's become something of a comfort comic for me. So, thanks for giving me the warm fuzzies and making me feel seen.

schrodinger's ship lol

but thank you so much!! you have no idea how happy i am to hear all this because it's been a comforting experience for me as well. and i do love hearing about how people saw themselves in them at some point in the conversation, how they had this exact conversation with a loved one before, or maybe they just needed to hear those words. i love that it's a universal human experience. i had to open myself up in order to write some of the stuff i did, and that wasn't easy. but the fact that it resonated with so many makes it all worth it

[hollowed-theory-hall]

Do you think of Ginny as a “pick me girl”? Some of the things you say in your post makes her come across as that, which is sad since she is a strong female character and there’s so many m|m bloggers who shitting on strong female characters these days.

I don't know if you're just looking for a fight or if you're genuine, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt about this subject once.

Yes, I think Ginny comes off as a bit of a "pick me" which I already wrote about here, which I don't think was intentional on JKR's part. I don't think Ginny was intended to come off the way she did.

Like, Ginny in the early books is just, really boring, in my opinion. and I think Ginny in book 5 had the potential to be an interesting character. She had a good sense of humor and she seemed somewhat in line with the twins (though on the crueler side), but I despise Ginny of books 6 and 7.

Like, all power to you for like Ginny and her romance with Harry. Truly, have fun with your canon pairing, I wish you the best and that you find many fics that portray them just as you like to see them.

But I don't see them that way. I think Ginny is a badly written character, and I think her romance with Harry is similarly badly written. It has nothing to do with gay ships. Trust me, if Harry was written into a compelling romance with a well-written female character, I'd be all over that. But he wasn't.

I mean, hell, I don't even ship Drarry, which is the most popular gay ship for Harry because I don't like Draco much. I think he's written well for what he is in the story, but I just don't vibe with him.

Becouse I don't need an excuse to dislike a character or a pairing. I can give my reasons, I have them, but I'm (and anyone else is) allowed to say I just don't vibe with a character. Even if Ginny was the best-written character in literature (she isn't) and her romance with Harry was perfectly written (it isn't) I could still shit on her as much as I want to, you know why?

Becouse she's fictional.

Fictional characters can't be offended. You can't be mean to a fictional character. Because fictional characters don't have feelings. They're not real.

You can say you personally find it sad people don't like Ginny the way you do, and you can be personally disappointed — but it isn't objectively sad. It isn't sad for Ginny becouse Ginny isn't real and only real people have feelings. It's sad to you, that's your opinion.

I love Harry, he's my favorite and I made it no secret, but I have good irl friends who shit on him in casual conversation and I can laugh with them when they make a funny joke about him even when we disagree, you know why? — we agree to disagree. We know Harry is fictional and that he doesn't care. Because he isn't real, he can't care.

So, for me, it doesn't matter if you shit and hate on fictional characters and fictional relationships as long as you're decent to real people.

You aren't a misogynist for disliking a female fictional character. She's fictional. She isn't real. You would be a misogynist if you mistreated irl women because they're women. In the same vein, you aren't a homophobe for disliking a popular gay ship. You would be a homophobe if you mistreated irl gay people because of their sexuality. You aren't wrong for disliking a fictional character or ship for any reason, even if the reason is just "vibes". You would be a dick if you mistreated irl people because they don't think the same as you about a fictional character or ship.

I personally find it sad that fandom seems to have lost the ability to say "agree to disagree" and move on (if the ability ever existed in the first place). I follow some blogs who shit on HJP himself because they post other stuff I find compelling. I follow blogs that post a lot of Drarry because I like how they write Harry even if I don't really care for Draco. You can like someone and enjoy their writing and be friendly with them even if you don't agree with them on some fictional characters and fictional relationships. And if it really bothers you, you can block and move on as many of us do.

So yeah, I think Ginny comes off as a "pick me." I think she's a badly written character, and you can disagree with me on that, you can think she's a strong female character, but that's your opinion, not an objective truth. And I dislike her for being a badly written character, which, I assure you, is gender-natural.

I also think it's important to remember that at the end of the day, we're all just playing with dolls, and the only feelings that matter are those of real people.

[dimonds456]

Billford and Abuse: An Analysis

Honestly, as someone who ships both Billford and Fiddauthor, the thing I like about the toxic yaoi ship is the fact that it IS toxic. Like, the jokes are great, but its depiction of abuse is so, like... genuine. Without getting personal, I've been in a really fucking bad toxic (platonic) relationship before, and Billford deadass helped me come to terms with it.

Cuz here's the thing: most fictional abusive relationships just start with the abuse itself. It shows the victim and the perpetrator at the height (or almost at the height) of the abuse, and we see as either one of them is destroyed by it or the victim becomes free. But Billford actually shows the WHOLE timeline.

Something that bothers me about a lot of fictional abuse reps is the fact that you cannot sympathize with the victim aside from "aw that's horrible :(". Cuz it just starts AT the abuse. We don't see how they got there or what's causing the victim to stay. We just know they need to escape.

But with Billford, we see EVERYTHING. How it started out as something Ford genuinely loved, seeing Bill as a friend and someone he could trust, how it made him feel better because he was actually making progress on his research and he wasn't lonely anymore.

To Ford during those early days, Bill was the highlight of his time in Gravity Falls. We can follow his train of thought exactly to where he let Bill possess him with basically no strings attached (pun intended).

That's what makes it all the more devastating. Bill isolated Ford from everyone. He sabotaged his friendship with Fiddleford by planting that seed of doubt in the engineer and pulling Ford further and further into his plans. Then the thing with the portal happened and Ford had NOWHERE to go. Plus, Bill kept trying to get Ford to stop thinking about Stan, to move on and let him rot. So he kept planting seeds of doubt in his own brother as well, causing Ford to further and further slip away.

Then Ford confronts Bill. And the monster is unleashed.

Once Bill realizes he's lost control of Ford's devotion and the illusion has shattered, Bill just LEANS into it. In order to take control back, he started tormenting Ford and just being horrible to him, to try and make him fall in line. Love and fear ARE right next to each other in the brain, after all. And there's NOTHING Ford can do but just fall further and further into paranoia.

Bill demonstrates many real-world abusive/manipulative tactics on Ford, the big one being isolation, since that allows the rest of the everything to even happen, but the way he turns Ford against LITERALLY EVERYONE using paranoia is really true to real life.

Now obviously your toxic boyfriend cannot possess random strangers irl. But you know what he CAN do? Start spreading rumors behind your back. Stalk you. Harass you. Make you feel unsafe everywhere except home (which isn't safe either, but it's better than the outside world). He can spend your money or break your things. Slash your tires. In Ford's case, LITERALLY abusing his body. There's the sticky notes, the threats, the roof incident, all of it just piling one atop the other.

I cannot imagine how fucking terrified Ford must have been to finally send that postcard to Stanley. He was at a point where he assumed Stan would hate him, or at the very least wouldn't respond so why even bother, and he'd just gotten the "steal your eyes" threat. He was out of options, and was absolutely sure he was putting Stan in danger by getting him involved (another irl abuse thing that happens).

He was scared to reach out for help because 1) he didn't want others getting hurt (like Fidds had), 2) he was ashamed he'd let this happen, and 3) he, on some level, felt like he deserved this.

Justified? To a paranoid, scared, abused, irrational brain: Absolutely. In reality? Never. But HE'D built that portal. HE'D allowed Bill to possess his body basically freely. HE'D basically helped start the apocalypse. And that shame would have lead to SO much self-hatred and despair.

His reaching out to Stan was his last resort, his only way out. THAT'S what intrigues me about the ship so much.

I do not want them to make up and get back together. They're horrible for each other. But I do enjoy exploring the dynamic of it, fully seeing the cycle and how it happens, and seeing a whole new side to Ford that we only caught a glimpse of in the show and Journal 3. Plus Bill but his side is more comedic and sad to me I do not take him seriously FSDGHJ

The jokes are great and I love it here, but if I ever write a fic or draw art for these two it's going to be toxic as hell man. And not in the fun way fgsjd

[utilitycaster]

a not-as-quick-as-originally-intended clarification at least on my personal thoughts re: the Apex War, and this campaign overall:

I agree that it would have been nice for C3 to have been more rooted in Marquet; I have said this frequently and I still hope we get to see Marquet in future stories. However, while I want Apex War lore because it's interesting to me, the fact is, there's no way to fix the fact that we spent this campaign without any strong understanding of the Apex War when it is a core element of the backstory of a significant villain (Otohan) and when Matt is invoking it to underscore the show of unity.

For what it's worth, I think there's two separate "what I wish this campaign could have been" versions and I feel like a lot of people are conflating them.

One is, for lack of a better way to put it, a more Mighty Nein-style campaign that delved into the culture and place and conflicts of Marquet by focusing on the characters first and foremost, the way Campaign 2 delved into Wildemount. I would have loved this very much. This would not have supported the moon plot, however.

Another is one that honors Matt's vision of the nigh-millennium-long-plot Ludinus hatched and the secrets of Ruidus and all of Exandria coming together, and is simply...better. The Apex War should have impacted Imogen and Ashton, growing up in its aftermath, and could have been a part of their backstories. FCG's chassis being found could have been tied to it. This in turn would have set up Otohan in more depth. And that could have been handled with very little extra effort - literally just a call to Laura and Taliesin with a lore dump, and a few more hints in the Bassuras arc.

I think the fact that Bells Hells are a group from across Exandria - representation from all continents but the Shattered Teeth, multiple people with ties to several continents, and even an extraplanar member - is not a bad thing for a story about the world uniting against the threat of Predathos! It's extremely fair to be disappointed and let down (especially if you are from a culture on which Marquet is based and was hoping to see it) but actually I'm here to say the fact that C3 isn't like C2 is not bad, in this case. It's that the Apex War clearly has backstory and lore that would inform the story and certainly informs how Matt is playing it, and literally no one else has access to that information, including the players. I would love to go back and get it because I love the world of Exandria and its lore, but from a narrative perspective the ship already sailed. So my complaint isn't "why wasn't this solely about Marquet" in this case - it's "there was clear setup for this story that would have made it better, and there wasn't an effort to limit what the players played or seed it into the plot so that it would actually come up."

[fluffyfantasticducky]

Mistakes and regrets

☆ Pairing: Loki x Reader

☆ Synopsis: Loki is a prisoner that sees his way out through pretending to date you, but when he finds true love he doesn't know how to deal with the guilt of making a very similar damage to the one that had been done to him when he was used for what originally were selfish reasons.

☆ Word Count: 10.5k, I think that's my longest fic yet, and written in the shortest time lapse, not sure what that says about my mental stability rn.

☆ Notes: As I proofread I noticed this could be interpreted as generational trauma, sort of... given I made Loki sort of mirror what Odin did to him. But I wasn't trying to be deep, I just felt like shit during the week and used this to cope. The fic might be cringy as a result, I am honestly not sure.

☆ Warnings: Depression and guilt are the focus points of this storyline. Loki starts is kinda toxic his behavior here isn't meant to be romanticized or intended to be extrapolated to real life, I just wanted to explore a narrative surrounding poor decisions and the dealing of its consequences. The reader is kinda a Mary Sue of sweetness but I just wanted to hammer in Loki feeling bad and guilty. I don't know if this is a trigger but I touch the vault scene of Loki and Odin and Odin being forgiven is also handled, Idk if that's trigger warning worthy but I know most of the fandom hates him.

“You’re not making it any for me brother.” Thor spoke through the glass.

“I want my freedom, brother.” Loki sighed, sitting down on the uncomfortable bench. “Don’t think of me as ungrateful, but as much as I appreciate not being executed, I can’t exactly call this a life.”

“Director Fury insisted, I’ve tried explaining to him that New York was a complicated situation. But he wants to be sure you are not a threat to Earth– uh, Midgard.”

“You've surely adapted well to living here” Loki rolled his eyes. “Pathetic.”

“Cooperate with me, I brother” Thor begged. “I want to help you, but I need you to help me first.”

“I’m not sure what I am expected to do from here” Loki huffed annoyed.

Thor sighed and gave his little brother a sympathetic look. Loki was frustrated, and he couldn’t blame him. He would be too if he got brainwashed, had all his anger, sense of betrayal and resentment exploited to torture an innocent planet, and still be the one to pay for said crimes… Sure he wouldn’t be all jokes and laughs.

“I’ve been negotiating a way to test your stability and get your freedom” Thor smiled hoping to cheer up his brother. And he made Loki look up. “It’d be a bit uncomfortable at first. But I know you can prove yourself. You’d have to wear cuffs or a while, but you’d be free to walk around with me and the others on trips to the city.”

“Hooray…” Loki rolled his eyes.

“Please brother, I’m trying, I just need you to be patient.” Thor spoke sadly as he made his way out. “I hate this as much as you do.”

“Do you?” Loki said. “As far as I know, you’re not the one in a crystal cell.”

“Alright, almost as much as you do.” Thor joked softly and Loki did chuckle weakly.

He agreed that Thor had been furious. But it all happened so fast.

Thor had managed to land a fatal blow on Thanos’ chest and soon Steve, Natasha, and Bruce had arrived to back him up and retrieve the Infinity gauntlet. They opened a portal to bring back Tony, Doctor Strange, and the Spider Ling… And surprisingly a weird group of space travelers.

When Thor realized they could travel to anywhere in the universe they opened a portal to rescue the Asgardian ship. There were a lot of severe wounds but surprisingly Thanos had failed, he underestimated the strength of Asgard, and most people could be saved.

“Thor!” Valkyrie screamed and rushed to hug the king.

“Valkyrie! You are alright! Thank goodness!” Thor smiled in relief and hugged his friend.

“Thor you have to come quick!” Valkyrie urged him. “It’s Loki!”

Thor’s heart sank, his heart couldn’t stand burying the only family member he had left. Thor had lost his parents… he had seen his whole planet die. But not his baby brother. Not Loki. Not again.

“Please… not now… Let’s treat the wounded ones first…” Thor spoke with a knot on his throat. “I want to focus on saving lives first.”

“Thor, you don’t get it! He’s alive!” Valkyrie scolded him. “But he’s in a critical state! We need to take him to a safe place to treat him.”

A tear streamed down the new king’s face, and he felt as if he had finally put down a enormous boulder he had been holding onto. He didn’t lose Loki.

“Take me to him!” Thor urged them.

Valkyrie took Thor to a damaged room in the ship that had been used as an improvised infirmary. In the corner laid a figure Thor knew too well being treated by healers.

“Brother!” Thor said. “Oh Gods… You’re alive…”

“You can’t get rid of me that easily thunder brain… ugh…!” Loki joked weakly as he groaned in pain. The healers begged him not to move as they tried stabilizing his condition. His neck had been nearly obliterated.

It was a miracle Loki hadn’t died and that the healers had managed to find him on time.

“We couldn’t abandon him” one of the healers spoke politely to her king. “After all, it was because of you and prince Loki that Lady Valkyrie managed to evacuate the survivors. We apologize for not finding you, my king.”

“It’s no problem at all” Thor laughed in an uncharacteristically quiet manner. He was breathless. “Thank you for saving my brother’s life.”

The lady healer let out a sheepish giggle and bowed. Loki rolled his eyes, earning a lecture from the healers that were still treating him. King or not, Thor still had that charm that seemed to make most people swoon.

The reunion was interrupted by a group of soldiers that broke in with a logo on their uniforms that made Thor’s blood boil when they pointed their weapons at Loki. SHEILD.

They picked up the stretcher where Loki was laying in and took him away to lock him up.

Apparently, the news travel fast, but SHIELD travels faster, and hearing Loki was alive was enough to mobilize and capture the injured God and lock him in a crystal prison cell in a SHIELD base. If Loki had a coin for every time that happened… he’d have two.

He couldn’t say Thor didn’t do anything about it. He could hear the thunders and enraged screams from his brother, demanding for an explanation and Loki’s immediate liberation.

“I demand my brother is released immediately!” Thor yelled.

“You should consider yourself grateful we’re allowing your witches to go and heal that world-level threat! He would be better off dead!”

“Don’t you dare speak of my brother like that! Me and all of my people would’ve died if it wasn’t for him!”

Loki wasn’t sure if he was amused or if he felt bad.

It did stroke his ego being called “Asgard’s hero” in the middle of the yelling. It shouldn’t have surprised him that Nick Fury was just as loud as Thor when angry. He couldn’t complain much. It made it much easier to hear what was going on, which was good, he was too weakened to use his magic to spy on them.

The healers tending to his neck sure seemed awkward overhearing the fight. It must have been uncomfortable to be doing your job in a high security cell. So, he tried entertaining the healers as he could. Although all he got was a lecture when his magic drained his energy, and they needed him awake to monitor him.

Soon he got better, he but wasn’t allowed to be out of his cell. It was a bit nostalgic, in some dark and twisted way. It even made him want to fix his old horned helmet, even if Thor would call him a cow for wearing it.

And when things couldn’t get worse… he met you.

“It’s lunch time” a voice said in a weirdly friendly tone before you head popped by the entrance as you balanced a tray of food on your head in an attempt to amuse Loki. He wondered if there were buffoons in Midgard, but you always tried to draw a laugh from him… Tried.

“Tough crowd, eh?”

Loki couldn’t not be baffled by the way you talked to him. Although he couldn’t decide if that was because you surely knew his reputation as Midgard’s terrorist or because you always talked in a friendly and goofy tone in a maximum-security prison in a super-secret spy agency. You also seemed to be awfully young to be here, but you couldn’t be much older than the girl Barton took as his protégée.

“What’s on the menu today?” Loki asked in a more formal tone.

“Why the hurry?” you asked, “don’t tell me you got somewhere else to be.”

“You think you are a lot funnier than you really are” Loki rolled his eyes. “And it’s not very nice to make fun of someone’s disgrace.”

“I hear you think I’m at least a little bit funny” you smiled as you kept balancing the tray of food on your head.

“Please don’t drop my food, I’d like to have at least something to eat” he rolled his eyes.

You tripped on your feet, and he saw the tray falling down, you caught it last second with your shins, and gave him a little sheepish grin.

“Alright, alright, I’m impressed” Loki groaned. “Can I eat now please? Or is having you torment me part of some attempt to break me?”

“Why are you so moody?” you asked. “More than usual, I mean.”

“I’m starving, and you humans eat way too little” Loki finally admitted. “But that is still better than nothing… Please.”

You stopped playing around and you looked at him as you got the tray into his cell.

“Sorry, I didn’t know you were eating so little.” You admitted.

“I barely have energy to cast small illusions, which would serve to entertain myself.” Loki complained as he sat to eat and you sat by the table and looked at him, you didn’t seem afraid, curious at most. You watched him eat and took his dirty plates by the end.

You weirded him out.

You always did something along the same lines; you came to bring him food, teased him a little and then left when you were gone. Although this time you had asked more questions about him. And you seemed more pensive while he ate.

And later that day he got a surprise. Usually, he just saw you to deal with you while he ate. But today you returned with a brown paper bag on your hands and a backpack, you never carried personal objects with you.

“What now?” he groaned.

You said nothing but opened the door to pass him food and slid the bag inside. Loki opened his end and grabbed the bag, it was warm, and it had a strong smell inside, he reached and pulled out a weird soft cushion with a white cover.

“Bur…ger? What this?” he asked as he read the yellow letters.

“It’s food” you smiled. “Cafeteria is closed until dinner, so I thought bringing you something else might boost your mood.”

“This looks like junk” he snarled, making you laugh.

“It’s something like that.”

Loki looked inside the bag and looked at you.

“There’s no fork.”

“You eat it with your hands” you smiled and pretended to grab a burger and bite it. “Like a sandwich.”

“What’s a sandwich?” Loki asked, making you laugh again.

Loki tried to take a bit, imitating your gesture, but you stopped with a squeaky laugh.

“Unwrap it first!” you laughed. “The white thing paper is not edible.”

Usually Loki would’ve argued more. But he had been really hungry, so he agreed.

“The taste is agreeable enough.”

“Try the fries!” you said eagerly.

“These yellow sticks?” he asked pulling out one fry from the bag, and you giggle once again, he was learning you were quite easy to amuse.

“Yes, the yellow sticks, they’re potatoes with salt and soaked in hot oil to cook them” you smiled.

“That sounds unhealthy” he said, but he surely didn’t pass up the extra meal, and while he’d never admit it, but it was tasty.

“It is on the long run” you agreed. “But you don’t eat these every day. It’s more like… something you eat when you particularly crave it. Like a treat.”

“What’s on your bag?” Loki asked, a lot more agreeable now with a full stomach.

“Ah, you said you didn’t have much to do” you said and passed him bag. “It’s a portable DVD player and old movies.”

“I understood the word portable from that whole sentence” Loki said in an obvious tone.

He wasn’t new to technology, but unlike Earth, Asgard only used technology for practical purposes like travel and fighting. Never for entertainment.

“You can watch recorded over produced plays on the screen” you said adapting to what Loki might be familiar with. “Fury said you can’t have access to internet, so I thought since I don’t use this anymore it’d keep you entertained while Thor negotiates your freedom. And if you need something else, I could surely get it for you.”

Loki was trying to process it all while he followed your instructions to set up the devices you brought him. Now he’d finally give some use to the electricity plugins on his cell.

“Why are you so nice to me?” Loki asked.

“I don’t know” you shrugged. “You seem like you could use some kindness.”

“I’m a charity case?” Loki asked, not sure if he was thankful or offended.

“You wish. If I was charitable, I would’ve brought a fancy brand of fast food, and you’re a good junkyard to bring my old stuff” you snarled, making Loki laugh, for real this time.

Your cheeks flushed and were soon surrounded in a clod of silver mist. And when it disappeared you had vanished already.

Now that… Loki didn’t see coming. He had heard of your kind when he took control of some of SHIELD agents, humans with supernatural abilities. You were a mutant, and for the looks of it, one with teleportation powers. Now it made sense why someone seemingly so ordinary was in a place like this, flirting with a prisoner.

Interesting.

The next few days you kept bringing him food as usual, but two things had changed. One, the portions were bigger now, Loki now got to eat to a point where he was satisfied. Two, you joked around a lot less, in fact, you simply brought the food and stayed nearby in silence, and Loki had caught you staring at him with rosy cheeks.

So, you did fancy him… Truly interesting. And quite flattering too, he at least had to agree you were quite appealing to stare at.

“I watched one of your… Dee Bee Dees…” Loki started the conversation while he ate. “The one with the funny doctor…”

“That… doesn’t narrow it down much” you finally spoke. “Sarcastic asshole with a wounded leg?”

“He is sarcastic, but he treats patients with joy and laughter and goes against the rules. Like the pair of legs at the entrance” Loki specified. “It was a sweet story… I did feel bad for him when he lost his… you know.”

“Ah, yeah…” you said sadly.

For a few more days, the routine kept like that, you seemed a lot shyer than before and now Loki was the one pursuing your attention and with an arsenal of movies you had watched he always had a way to start conversation.

When he was sure he had properly understood your interest in him, he made his move.

While Loki wasn’t as flashy as Thor, he never had much trouble swooning anyone of his interest, with years of etiquette lessons and nourishing his mind with the most exquisite novels and books Asgard had to offer he knew how to charm anyone he desired.

And soon enough he was courting you. He recited for you the collection of the most exquisite verses he had memorized and casted his illusions of roses and butterflies for you to enjoy a romantic set up.

Soon Fury had two people demanding for his liberation. And since Loki had been in his best behavior Fury didn’t have an excuse to keep Loki locked up and while he had a tracker on his ankle and Asgardian magic bracelets capable of suppressing his magic.

You were there when they let Loki out and he made sure to hug you first. The more in love he seemed, the sooner he’d be truly free. You melted against his embrace and wrapped your arms around him in a warm hug.

Loki felt a light tug on his chest. He couldn’t remember the last time someone out of his parents and Thor been so eager and happy to hug him.

“I had been dreaming of this…” you spoke softly. “And your hugs are even cozier than I imagined.”

That felt like a dagger to his heart. Why were you so sweet?

“Alright, Bambi, if you try something your little sweetheart will let us know right away, got it?” Tony warned him.

You wrapped your arms around Loki’s bicep pressing yourself against him.

“He’s gonna be perfect” you defended him. “And if I’m wrong you can lock me up as well for helping a criminal out.”

Second dagger. What kind of idiot were you trusting him so blindly? Could you really not see he just wanted his freedom?

Loki finally had a proper room, or something like that. He would be staying in the Avengers Compound when the Helicarrier landed… until then there was a room where he, Thor, and basically everyone stayed.

Your bed the one right above Loki’s. Loki sighed. Just a few more days. Loki laid down and saw you looking down at him, peeking from your bed with big sparkling eyes.

“Yes?” Loki said in his best sweet loving tone.

“S-Sorry…” you mumbled as your cheeks got red. “I’m just really happy you’re here.”

“Aww, young love…” Kate cooed.

“SHUT UP! I’M OLDER THAN YOU!” you screeched and threw a pillow right at her face, making Loki smiled softly.

“You’re both babies…” Yelena grinned.

“Shut up, you hag!” you and Kate argued.

“You’re all babies…” Bucky corrected.

“DON’T STICK YOUR NOSE, YOU FOSSIL!” the three of you argued.

“I’m… not gonna join this argument being 1,500 years old” Thor laughed and soon eased the mood in all laughter again.

Meanwhile Loki wouldn’t stop thinking what you said to him. “I’m happy you’re here.” Third stab… How could you be so happy and attached to him so easily and quickly?

The next few days he had resigned to adapt to train with you. He had been a warrior all his life, but being a soldier was too boring for him. It was a lot of training, gym workouts, more training, and meetings. He saw you nodding off during the latter. Where did you pull the energy to play and joke around with him when you went to bring food to him while he had been locked up?

You yawned and rested against his shoulder as you dozed off during lunch once. You were so warm and trusted him more than he deserved. You seemed awfully comfortable around him.

Every spare moment you had was dedicated to him, you were awfully cuddly and touchy. Loki wasn’t used to this in the slightest. At first playing along seemed impossible. But your kisses were so gentle and tender, more often than not he found his eyes fluttering close and his hands wrapping around your waist in a loving way. Even sharing a room with a lot of people seemed more fun if he got to study your reactions.

“Take that!” you screamed as you and Kate smacked each other with pillows, but when a stray pillow hit Natasha in the back of the head, it was war.

Everyone was throwing and hitting each other with pillows until someone pushed you to Loki’s arms who had stayed out of the war as just a bystander. No one seemed to be paying much attention to him, but now you were.

Your face was beet red, and you were blabbering apologies if you had hurt him, (which, you hadn’t). But Loki simply smiled and grabbed your sides and started squeezing them, causing you to squeal and burst out laughing.

Oh, of course you were ticklish, he should’ve known. Hel, you irradiated this aura that just screamed “tickle me!” And as the God of Mischief, he was drawn to ticklish little things such as yourself, to make sure he could exploit every ticklish little inch of your giggly body. It had always been a pretty harmless way to ease his need to cause mayhem.

Soon the entire room was in fits of laughter since Loki had unintentionally inspired a tickle war.

“H-Hohohohoney! Pleahahahahase!” you begged Loki, “thahahahahat tickles!”

“So? I hope it doesn’t bother you, my dear” Loki purred in your ear as his fingers traveled up and down your ribs, causing you to screech. “I think I’d like to play with my pretty little toy some more…”

“Nohohohoho! Please! Hehehehehe! S-Stop it!” you giggled until you had proofed to reappear at the top bunk bed, right by the time someone else had surrendered and called truce.

Thor. His stomach was sore from laughing and he needed a break. But the big Asgardian was confident enough to not be affected by being the one to surrender in such harmless play fight.

“I’m nostalgic” Thor laughed. “Reminds me of the sleep overs with Fandral, Volstagg, Hogun and Sif.”

“I wouldn’t know, I was never invited.” Loki said.

“WHAT?!” you gasped and threw a pillow at Thor’s head in Loki’s defense. “JERK! TO YOUR OWN BROTHER!”

“What do you mean?” Thor asked. “You rejected us every time.”

“What are you talking about? You never invited me, brother” Loki explained. “By the time I had found out, you were all locked in your chambers.”

“Sif and the guys always said you said no” Thor said. “That’s why I always made smaller sleepovers with just you and me. I thought you hated big groups.”

Loki never thought Thor had been clueless, if anything he thought it had been him who rejected him, it never occurred to him it was the rest that orchestrated Loki’s exclusion. It made sense in retrospect, they were more Thor’s friends, not Loki’s.

“I enjoy time to myself,” Loki agreed. “But I’ve never been against big events. I always thought it was you who didn’t want me near your friends…”

“Of course not, brother…”

“Don’t feel bad, Loki” Yelena said in a tone that eased the mood. “Nat used to have sleepover with friends and ban me from her room the whole night. But we’re sisters, adopted or not.”

“I said I was sorry, and I was 11 you resentful crybaby!” Natasha argued with a laugh.

You noticed that had hit a sensitive spot-on Loki and went to sit behind Loki to give him a hug from behind. And it was unexpectedly comforting, he sighed as you kissed his cheek. Growing more and more used to your doting affection, you were also rather good to read his mood by now.

It just made him feel more guilty, so he tried changing the subject.

“You poof around when tickled, hm?” Loki chuckled. “Noted.”

“Not just when I’m tickled, when I get worked up by almost anything…” you explained. “I can’t always control it.”

“I see… so, I get you all worked up…” Loki flirted, making you jolt and squeak with a red face. “Heh… I’m flattered.”

“What about you?” you asked when you calmed down, resting your chin on his shoulder. “Does something like that happen to you?”

“Mmm… my magic is also very tied to my feelings is mostly surges of magic when I’m pissed off.” Loki shrugged. “In a way, the source of my magic abilities come from my control of how I feel. Which is why Thor could never learn sorcery… he couldn’t ever keep calm and focus enough.”

It felt a bit of a cheap answer, his guilt told him you were always vulnerable with him. There was another thing…

Alright, now that no one was paying attention to you two.

“When I was little, I used to have a lot of nightmares, and my mother stayed with me and taught me this spell… it allows you to invite someone else to your dreams, to put it simply. She taught me that spell to help me with the bad dreams… And sometimes I still cast it involuntarily while I sleep. It’s… what’s the word? Automatic, at this point.”

“You haven’t used it since we met” you pointed out.

“There’s these preventing that” Loki wiggled the magic cuffs on his wrists, and you shrank sheepishly. “Maybe one day I’ll have you sleep visiting… who knows…”

You smiled too eagerly at the idea… it was painful to see the adoration in your eyes.

The next night you were chatting happily, you laid on the floor with your feet hanging on Loki’s bed. Surprisingly he didn’t mind too much, he found himself much more engaged on the conversation. He simply rested his hand on your shin, caressing it with his thumb.

But at some point during the chat his hand brushed by your ankle, something that should’ve caught his attention way sooner. A location tracker like his. He brushed his fingers along the band, and you jolted, quickly making a bad excuse before rushing out. A terrible liar dating the god of lies. How ironic.

“I didn’t know… I thought I was the only one with one of these…” Loki pointed to his tracker.

“All mutants and non-SHIELD affiliated have one” Tony explained with a yawn. “Basically, if you have superpowers, you have two options, be an agent or an avenger.”

“Or locked up” Loki concluded, and the way no one answered, confirming his suspicion.

“You’re gonna be joining us, right, brother?” Thor smiled.

“Do I have a choice?”

Loki chuckled, he had been thinking about this prior to this information, the fear of actually losing his brother when Thor was ready to leave him forever in Sakaar had been too great.

But what about you? You didn’t strike him the superhero style, a were a fragile and sensitive little thing, and he couldn’t picture you in the battlefield, but being a soldier was clearly taking a huge toll on you. You seemed perpetually exhausted living like this.

“Has my darling decided yet?” Loki asked, he didn’t plan on the pet names, but it felt weirdly natural as it rolled off his tongue. It felt right.

“Not before meeting you, we had tried, but I’d say with you two together… things have changed for the better.” Steve assured him. “It’s a relief though, you two would be great assets in the future, and the life at the compound is bit freer and more independent.”

For some reason, Loki smiled at the sound of that.

“It’s gonna be for the best” Bruce smiled. “Fury can be quite severe, and the soldier life isn’t for everyone…”

Loki couldn’t see you long term here, you’d be overworking yourself for a lifestyle too demanding and that you didn’t even like. It would be for the best to be an Avenger… at least that’d give you some more freedom.

By then, the mood had died down and everyone went to bed, turning off the lights way before you arrived. A few more minutes passed… and nothing. Loki considered going to find you when you opened the door, guiding your way with your phone’s flashlight. You had a messy damp ponytail, and baggy pajamas. You arrived and sat by Loki’s bed and immediately collapsed right beside him, invading his bed. He was ready to climb and use yours when you he felt a tug on his shirt.

“Let me stay with you…” you mumbled with your eyes closed, it seemed you still had some consciousness.

Loki nodded and laid down beside you, wrapping his arm over you, and tucking you under the bedsheets. He had to keep appearances. Yeah… Of course.

He studied you for a while. Your hair was soft, and it smelled like wild berries, shampoo he had started using as well because it smelled so nice. Your skin was soft and smooth, it was addictive to trace his fingers along your body. He traced circles along your side.

“Nooo… thahahat tickles…” you giggled and shifted in your half-asleep state, making something stir within Loki. “You can tickle me all you want in the morning, okay baby…?”

“Ohoho! Is that so?” Loki chuckled. “That’s dangerous thing to offer to the God of Mischief don’t you think?”

“’s okay… I trust you…” you yawned snuggling against his chest.

“Y-You do…?”

“You’d never do anything to hurt me…” you assured him, even with your brain fighting with all it’s might to not succumb to exhaustion.

Once his eyes adapted to the darkness, he stared at your face. Your features were gentle, with a pureness that only a heart that hadn’t been corrupted with cruelness and malice would have. It made him feel weak.

“I love you” you mumbled, kissing his lips before finally falling asleep with the most peaceful smile he had ever seen on anyone that was this close to him.

“I… I love you too…” he whispered and kissed the top of your head.

Now Loki genuinely wanted to stab himself through the chest, he deserved nothing less.

The next morning was the last time he’d be in the Helicarrier for a long time if he could help it. Both of you got the trackers removed and he was officially free. The magic cuffs were taken off of Loki and he immediately summoned a huge illusion that had a radius of a few kilometers as he stretched and showed off.

A huge double rainbow, oh how he had missed using his magic like this. He noticed your eyes sparkling in admiration.

Thor helped him unpack and you two were assigned neighbor bedrooms so the lovey dovey couple could stay close. You seemed ecstatic, you set your room and invited him to see it.

It was very much what he expected from you. Cozy and cute, just being inside made him want to lay down on your bed and sleep. And of course you had a pile of stuffed animals. He laid back on your bed, sinking in the mattress and fluffy covers.

Adorable.

“Honey bunny, I’m gonna go to the city alone today… don’t follow me” you warned him and proofed away before reappearing for a second. “And don’t snoop around my stuff! Love ya!”

And you disappeared in a gust of silvery white mist. Loki napped on your bed for a while, but… he couldn’t resist, he was curious by nature. He walked by your desk and saw the mirror of had a bunch of photos of him stuck to the board, he wasn’t smiling in any of them, and most had been taken him by surprise. Loki would’ve thought it weird, but the two of you were dating. And you only did what was normal for someone in a relationship. He smiled softly at how purely infatuated you were.

“Loki!” you called for him, so you had returned. He went to find you.

You had smiled so brightly as you jumped to his arms and showered his face in loving smooches.

“I missed you!” you smiled between kisses.

“You just left an hour or so…” he chuckled.

“It’s still too much time away from you!” you snuggled with him. “I missed this pretty face.”

“Heh…” he chuckled.

“I bought us something.” You smiled and handed him a golden bracelet with a round item on the middle. You kept the silver one. “It’s a distance touch bracelet.”

You touched your bracelet, and he felt his buzzing. Oh. He knew this couldn’t have been cheap. And you still didn’t hesitate to get it for him.

“Now you can feel me close, even if I vanish, or if we can’t be with each other.” You giggled.

His heart fluttered. How could there be someone so overly sweet? To him, of all people.

“Thank you…” he smiled.

Days passed and Loki’s sanity was evaporating in thin air. Guilt was eating him alive.

You were in truly, madly, and hopelessly in love with him. You wanted nothing but the best for him and you always showered him with love, affection and the sweetest kisses he had ever tasted. And worst of it all, he was falling in love with you. He deserved no love from you, but he had it… And it filled his heart with a warmth he didn’t deserve. Oh, you poor lovely thing, if you only knew how cruel his intentions had been to start your relationship.

He did what you wanted now, trying to make up for it. He didn’t want you to feel like you did all the job in a relationship anymore. Soon the photos were more couple y, of kisses and hugs, Loki took photos of you more as well. He invited you to read and nap with him.

He tickled you lots, and making you giggle in his arms as he held you close. He hugged you tight, trying to squeeze in all the love he had develop for the kind soul that had been nothing but sweet to him. In a wordless pray for your forgiveness.

He did everything that occurred to him would make you happy.

“No way! You’re ticklish?!” you gasped with an ear-to-ear grin.

“Terribly so, I can’t stand being ticked in between my ribs” he smiled as he rested his chin on your head, with you sitting on his lap. “My magic acts up on its own if I get overwhelmed, like you.”

“Really?” you giggled and caressed his sides. “Can I try?”

“For a kiss…” he smiled and puckered his lips for a smooch, which you complied with a huge grin. “I adore you… Fine, you got one minute to tickle my ribs.”

“Just one minute?” you whined with that lovely smile of yours.

“Thirty seconds?” he smiled.

“Eh?!” you whined. “One minute!”

“See how convincing I am?” he grinned.

“Oh, you—” you said and turned around to start poking and prodding his ribs, Loki couldn’t help but burst out laughing.

“Ack! Hehehehe!” he whined, you were too good at this, he was laughing his heart out. “S-Stohohohop! Hehehehe! I-It’s been a minute! Hahaha! S-Stop!”

“I’m not done with you, you pretty tease!” you giggled and kept prodding between his ribs.

“Oh yeheheah?!” he laughed and skittered his fingers along your belly.

You were squealing and giggling in the blink of an eye. But you didn’t stop tickling him.

“Hehehehe! Hic! G-Give up!” you giggled and squirmed as you prodded his sides.

“You give up! Hahahahaha!” he giggled squeezed your tummy and skittered his fingers along your armpits.

“Ack! Noohohohoho!” you whine and squeezed above his kneecaps, making him jump and ergo you fell off his lap and onto the couch.

“You’re in trouble…” he grinned and his fingers, poked, drilled, kneaded and scratch over every sensitive spot on your body, and it didn’t matter if you gave up. He didn’t stop until you were breathless.

Only then he stopped and held you in his arms.

“Remind me to not tickle you again, you’re sadistic” you smiled.

“You know it, darling…” he smiled and kissed the top of your head. “Did you have fun?”

“Mhm…” you smiled and leaned against him. “I love you.”

You were beyond ecstatic. You melted under all of his affection and more time he spent with you, the more he couldn’t deny his feelings for you.

He did it everything he could to make you happy. But nothing he did alleviated his guilt. He could only imagine the amount of heartache you would feel if you found out he had only used you to try looking better adjusted and be free, and that he had pretended to fall in love.

He couldn’t eat, he couldn’t sleep. He was going insane. He walked around the compound like a ghost during the night. He did a stop to throw up in the toilet.

“You’re awake,” you surprised him despite your gentle tone. “Is something bothering you?”

“N-No, love. I just wasn’t feeling very tired.” He assured you. “Don’t worry. Go back to sleep.”

You placed your hands on his hips and leaned closer to him the way you did whenever you were going to kiss him. But you took a little sniff—probably smelling his bad breath—you stopped and smiled at him with kindness.

“Mmm… Insomnia, hm?” you smiled and pulled him to the kitchen. “I know just the cure.”

You heated up water and prepared him a tea with honey. The warmth of the drink ran through him as the sweet drink got rid of the bad taste, and he sighed a tear streaming down his face.

“What’s wrong?” you asked, cupping his face.

“I’ve done so many awful things… And…” he spoke softly. “I don’t know how to fix them… I don’t deserve any forgiveness…”

“Oh Loki…” you hugged him. “No one blames you… you didn’t mean it… I’ve seen your pretty heart, and you deserve all the love in the world… Gosh, if I could take all the pain, you’re feeling for myself, I would.”

“Please don’t say that…” he begged. He couldn’t handle anymore guilt, but he didn’t know how to tell you the truth.

You gently guided him to your bedroom and tucked him in your bed, wrapping your arms around him in a protective way.

“Forgive me love... Please forgive me…” he begged between mutters. “I take it all back… please… Please don’t hate me… please…”

“Shh…” you whispered, running your fingers through his hair. “It’s all gonna be okay… I’m always gonna be here for you.”

               Between the warm tea, his exhaustion, the previous sleepless nights, your comfortable bed, and your loving touch… his body gave up on him and he fell asleep.

Everything was dark, and cold, covered in ice and a cruel wind. Loki had a good tolerance to cold, but he was freezing.

“Monster…” a voice echoed so loudly it made Loki’s ears ring. It was his own voice and it came from everywhere around him.

“Traitorous rat…”

“Murderer…”

“Beast…”

“Liar…”

“Frost giant…”

“Monster…”

“Manipulator…”

“Liar…”

“We finally had someone’s trust…”

“Of course, you just play around with others!”

Loki was completely surrounded by copies of himself, all at least twice his size, blue skin, Jotun attire, and eyes red like blood. True frost giants.

Loki simply took every blow and insult. He deserved them.

“Loki…?” a different voice called. “Is this what you meant by inviting someone to your dreams?”

No please… you couldn’t be here.

“Darling… wake up… please don’t be here…” Loki begged you. “Please…”

“I’m not leaving you here on your own…” you spoke and kneeled beside him.

Loki felt his body change, every muscle vanished leaving him as practically skin and bones. Small. Weak.

“Loki… what’s going on?! What’s happening to you?!”

Loki tried to shapeshift back to his natural look, but he had no control of his own body. At this point in life, he should be desensitized to nightmares where his magic didn’t obey him… but…

“Please… leave me here…” he spoke as he could, but he could barely hear himself.

“Don’t say that... What’s… what can I do for you?”

There was something about dreams, and especially Loki’s dreams, that always seemed to be extra dramatic. It must have been so confusing to be in one as an outsider.

Loki’s body changed again, he grew twice his usual size, and his body was blue and muscled. Exactly the body of a Jotun.

“STOP BEING SO GOOD TO ME! CAN’T YOU SEE I DON’T LOVE YOU?!”

“What?!”

What?! No! That wasn’t true…

Loki tried to take it back, but he was in autopilot. He was in the passenger seat of his own mind.

“I DON’T LOVE YOU! ARE YOU THAT GULLIBE TO THINK I’D FALL IN LOVE WITH A MORTAL?! I HAVE BEEN USING YOU!”

“No… no, you're not… You wouldn’t…”

“I JUST NEEDED A COVER, TO SEEM WELL ADJUSTED ENOUGH TO NOT BE A PRISONER! AND YOU WERE ANNOYING ENOUGH TO BARGE IN DEFENSE OF ME! I’V BEEN PLAYING WITH YOU FROM DAY ONE! DON’T YOU SEE YOU ARE JUST A TOY?! YOU’RE PATHETIC!”

The look on your face was heartbreaking. You looked crushed.

“I HAVE BEEN THINKING OF A WAY TO GET RID OF YOU! I CAN’T SLEEP AND I WANT TO THROW UP THINKING I HAVE TO PUT UP WITH YOU YET ANOTHER DAY!”

You curled up on the floor and Loki lifted you but your collar’s shirt.

“GET IT INSIDE YOUR HEAD! I COULD NEVER LOVE A MORTAL AS UNNERVING AS YOU!” Loki screamed at you before slamming you against the floor.

“NO!” Loki sat up with a gasp and his body drenched in sweat. He looked around and saw you curled up on the bed, your back facing him. “Love?! Thank goodness… I’m so— Love, w-what’s wrong…?”

You were stiff and you had a hand on the back of your head. Loki shifted and stretched a bit and saw your face. Your eyes were full of tears, yet he had never seen you with such a cold expression in your face.

“My love… and what’s wrong?” Loki placed a hand over your arm, and you slapped it.

“Why did you say that?” you asked him.

“I d-don’t know… I wasn’t… I didn’t…” Loki stuttered. “My dreams are like that…”

“No. I mean, what you said was really specific. Why…?”

“I don’t—I don’t know why I—”

“Tell me the truth, Loki.” You ordered him. “Did you, or did you not pretend to love me for your freedom?”

Loki stayed quiet. He didn’t have the courage to tell you the truth, but he didn’t have the heart to keep lying to you. With that confirmation tears started falling down your cheeks again.

“Y-Yes but I—that was before…”

“Get out…” you spoke.

“What? No, darling, listen… I…”

“I don’t want to hear you.”

“Please love… let me explain…” he tried holding you.

That made you snap. You started hitting him, being a human it was impossible for you to harm him, but not once in his life had he felt more pain.

“DON’T TOUCH ME! DON’T TALK TO ME!”

“Darling please…”

“I DON’T WANNA SEE YOU EVER AGAIN! GET OUT OF MY ROOM AND GET OUT OF MY LIFE!”

He had no strength to fight you, he was defenseless as you kicked him out of your room, slamming the door on his face.

There were a few faces popping out of their door to try seeing what had happened and that quickly retreated back to their rooms. Loki had no choice but to go inside of his own bedroom.

The next morning, he nearly tripped on his way out with a box by is door. It was full of books, quills, a coat, photos of you together. And… the silver bracelet that matched his own. It tore his heart to shreds. He didn’t feel as guilty anymore. But remorse and the memory of how brokenhearted you looked was even more sadistic. He heard you crying often from across the wall.

A few days later the others started giving him dirty looks. Knowing you and considering that this didn’t happen right away he assumed they had found out after heavy interrogation and now everyone knew he had used you. Even Thor seemed upset, not angry, but he had this… disappointment in his eyes.

“I hate dealing with moving companies” Tony sighed as they all sat for dinner. “But Fury wants to have our little Houdini enlisted by the end of the week. It’s a shame… The kiddos enjoyed being around each other.”

“Tell me about it” Clint sighed. “Kate is devastated.”

“Speaking of devastated…” Natasha said as she stood up, and Loki would’ve sworn she was shooting daggers at him with that glare. “See if I can be more convincing about eating something, otherwise Fury will have a corpse enlisting.”

You were moving out? To become a SHIELD agent? But you hated being a soldier. Had he hurt you so bad that you preferred that lifestyle and ruin your life forever… than being around him?

This all felt awfully familiar. Loki excused himself and went to his room and lock himself inside. He closed his eyes, and part of him wished that they’d never open again.

“Am I cursed?” Loki asked, choked up by the last bit of hope.

“No.” Odin responded the worst thing he could've said him. A curse would've been better.

Loki placed the casket down, weakly, it suddenly felt like a very... very heavy thing to carry. And the weight stayed there, right on his chest even after the casket had been placed back at the pedestal.

“Then what am I?” Loki asked softly, afraid of the answer.

“You're my son.” Odin answered, and Loki doubted his own magic since he couldn't detect dishonesty in his father's words.

Clearly that was a lie. So why didn’t his magic detect that? Loki felt rage spiral out of control like a boiling pot.

“What more than that?” Loki growled, still trying to keep his composure as he walked towards his father that was by the stairs at the other side of the corridor. “The Casket wasn't the only thing you took from Jotunheim that day, was it?”

Odin looked him in the eye. Unable to deny it any longer. It had been to many years with that secret. As Loki walked closer, Odin just started at him in silence as Loki reached the stairs.

“No.” Odin finally said. “In the aftermath of the battle, I went into the Temple, and I found a baby. Small for a giant's offspring— abandoned, suffering, left to die. Laufey's son.”

That felt like a dagger piercing the young prince’s heart. Out of all the things he was insecure about, it turned out he WAS an outsider. Out of all the things he could’ve been, he HAD to be a Jotun, a monster. Out of all the Jotun’s in existence, he was the son of the worst of them all. And out of all the reasons he could’ve been adopted for, was because even his own biological family didn’t want him… and his adopted family never told him any of this.

“Laufey's son...?” Loki finally managed to gasp out, he was choking up on his own tears. “Why? You were knee-deep in Jotun blood. Why would you take me?”

“You were an innocent child.” Odin said, sounding more exhausted by the second.

“No!” Loki begged his father, knowing that Odin was a strategic warrior. There was always a meaning behind his actions. “You took me for a purpose, what was it?”

But Odin didn’t answer. The physical toll of delaying his Odin sleep to prepare Thor to rule, preventing a war, the emotional toll of having to banish Thor and now… having his youngest child doubt his love for him because of his foolish decision of not telling him the truth earlier were overwhelming him.

The All-King saw with pain how the little child that once smiled at him with love when he picked him in his arms after the battle now saw him with fear, pain, and resentment.

“TELL ME!” Loki demanded loudly, no longer capable of remaining calm.

“I thought we could unite our kingdoms one day, bring about an alliance, bring about a permanent peace... through you.” Odin confessed.

That was the final blow to Loki’s poor heart.

“What…?”

A tool. All he had been adopted for was as an instrument of peace between Asgard and a race that everyone saw as blood-thirsty monsters.

“But those plans no longer matter.” Odin clarified.

“So, I am no more than another stolen relic, locked up… here, until you might have use of me.” Loki inquired in pain.

“Why do you twist my words?” Odin asked softly.

“You could have told me what I was from the beginning.” Loki urged, desperate to makes sense of what easily was the worst day of his life. “Why didn't you?!”

“You are my son. I wanted only to protect you from the truth.” Odin said softly, in a fruitless attempt to calm his poor child’s heart.

“Wh— B-Because I-I-I am the monster parents tell their children about at night?!” Loki asked, flooded by all the scary stories about the frost giants growing up. All those times he and Thor played heroes as kids fighting those monsters.

“Don't...” Odin begged as his strength slowly abandoned him.

But Loki couldn’t listen anymore. The grief was too great, and the feeling of betrayal didn’t allow him to trust Odin anymore.

“It all makes sense now! Why you favored Thor all these years.” Loki yelled as he started walking up the stairs to yell at Odin as the All-Father slowly lost his strength and started passing out on the stairs. “Because no matter how much you claim to “love” me, you could never have a Frost Giant sitting on the Throne of Asgard!”

Odin kept trying until his last second of consciousness to beg his son for help, forgiveness… anything. But he had been too weakened to dedicate his young boy some kind of love or reassurance as he fell prey to the Odin sleep, he had delaying for so long.

Now Loki encountered a similar dilemma. He had been stupid, dishonest, and selfish to someone who offered him nothing but unconditional love. He betrayed your trust and there was no way now that Loki could prove that despite his original intentions his love wasn’t any less real.

He laid down on his bed, with his arm draped dramatically over his eyes.

“Troubled, my son?” a voice spoke making Loki sit up.

“Father” Loki smiled softly. “I ruined it. I had the most beautiful love in my life… and I was stupid and lost it because of my own selfishness.”

“That sounds familiar” Odin chuckled. “You truly are my son, after all.”

“You had always been will always be my father…” Loki said the words he had denied for several years. “I never understand your reasons. Cruel as they were…”

“Not holding back against your old father, hm?” Odin laughed.

“Sorry…” Loki smiled softly.

“My original reasons were foolish, selfish, and even cruel as you rightfully… but I always hoped to do what would be best for the 9 Realms” he spoke. “But that didn’t mean the love I had for you wasn’t any less real. You are my son, regardless of the kind of blood that coursed through your veins.”

Loki smiled softly; it was weird. He knew Odin would have never say all that. But now, after growing up so much, he understood it wasn’t because he didn’t feel it, he had always been too proud and formal, too much of a king. And while imperfect, it was still his father.

“That’s why you never caught me lying when I called you my son or said that I loved you.” Odin spoke. “In my heart, you’ve always been my son.”

“I know, father” Loki smiled. “I’m sorry it took me so long to understand it.”

“I’m sorry I never told you before… I feared you wouldn’t take it well…”

“Me? I would never” Loki joked softly.

“We always loved you as our own” a female voice added making Loki turned around.

“Mother.” Loki spoke breathless. “I know… I know… I knew, I was just too scared I could’ve been wrong, and you didn’t…”

“You were too much of a charming kid not to love you” Frigga said compassionately. “Your little human surely thinks so too.”

Ah… that… Loki wasn’t so sure.

“I ruined it, I deserve nothing but the hatred and disgust I’ve earned from my darling.” Loki huffed out. “I manipulated, lied, and destroyed the trust of my love.”

“Dear, there’s nothing final in these matters…” Frigga smiled softly. “If that loved blossomed once, you may rescue it and nourish it again. But first… you need to apologize.”

“I don’t think I’m wanted anywhere near hearing range.” Loki explained.

“Do you think the love between your mother, and I always had a perfect relationship?” Odin smiled.

“Your father was too temperamental for that” Frigga intervened with a smile and both parents looked at each other with love. “But when you truly love someone and you make a mistake, you swallow your pride and make up for your wrongdoings.”

Loki smiled softly, he remembered it well. When Odin’s temper got the best of him because of the stress of being a king, Odin made sure to make up for Frigga know how truly sorry he was, and Frigga who already knew her husband’s temper was an expert on not letting her affect her, knowing it was never personal. She had truly been blessed with infinite patience given she dealt with three men with bad tempers and yet her kindness and loving nature knew no end. It was not rare to see Odin gifting Frigga fancy gifts and spend long hours apologizing and dedicating the day to her. It wasn’t the perfect arrangement, but no relationship was.

Loki chuckled softly.

“Thanks…” he smiled and both parents tended a hand to him with a smile. “I know what I have to do.”

Ready to say goodbye, Loki placed his hands on top of Odin and Frigga’s, and with that, the figure of his parents faded under a green light as Loki’s palms stopped glowing. Loki let out a little laugh as he wiped his tears.

His illusions had never been so benevolent towards himself, they were either torturous or for a fake sense of gloating and dissociation. But your compassion had changed him forever. He could use them for closure and to guide him with the stuff he knew but needed to hear. And… you deserved that at least.

He got up and went outside and went to a trip. It took him around an hour to get to the city and a couple more hours to get his several stops get several gifts. A lovely white bouquet of flowers, a box of your favorite chocolates, a necklace with a cute silver heart shaped locket and got it printed with a small photo, a copy of a photo he had carried from one of your first “dates” you got where you were giving him a small kiss in the cheek and cupped the other one, a symbol of your shared love.

On his way back, Loki held the original photo close to his chest and sighed. He prayed this would work as he was on his way to see you. He knocked on your door and hid his gifts behind himself, not even remembering he could’ve concealed them with his magic from how nervous he was.

His chest tightened as you opened the door, your eyes and nose were red, and your cheeks were stained with tears. Oh Norns… He had hurt you really bad.

“Love… Please… let me explain” Loki spoke softly.

“What do you need to explain, Loki?” you asked and sniffled, practically murdering him when you called him Loki instead of one of your lovely cheesy pet names. “That I was just a toy for you to play with and pretend that you loved me, so you’d be a free man? I got that quite clearly.”

You were ready to slam the door on his face, but he reached his leg to stop you. He nearly dropped one of your gifts. You looked at him confused, eying him up and down before sighing in defeat, opening the door he walked inside of your little room. He saw the little night table covered with used tissues and the bed’s decorative cushions were all over the place. It broke his heart.

“What do you want, Loki?” you asked tiredly as you sat on the bed, placing a cushion on your lap and against your chest.

“My darling, I was the biggest, most cruel and inconsiderate imbecile of all 9 Realms” he said, kneeling before you as he handed you the bouquet of flowers. You gently placed the flowers on your lap, still looking at him.

“It is true, that I was looking to just find a relationship to pretend I had adapted to living on earth” he spoke. “It was a selfish, shallow, and dishonest reason to make you mine… But I did it. It was heartless and there’s no excuse or reason for you to forgive that. But I beg of you to stay here… never speak to me again if you need, but don’t settle to a life of misery just to avoid me. I will happily accept being locked up in a dungeon for a hundred years, so you don’t see the likes of me again…”

He handed you the chocolate, and your gaze softened for a second as you saw the chocolate, he remembered which ones you liked the most. You opened your mouth to speak, but a gentle squeeze to your hands let you know Loki still wanted to speak.

He had caused all of this for not telling you the truth, and now he wanted to fully bare his soul to you now.

“You offered me boundless kindness, patience despite my flaws, understanding to my pain and sins of the past, laughter like I hadn’t enjoyed before, you fed with the most delicious and warm foods I had ever eaten, you showed me the concept of dates and you bared me completely vulnerable to your touch and heart and you bared yourself completely to me without fear of me…” Loki continued, as tears streamed down his face, drowning in regret. “And all I did was play with you and betray the trust your selfless heart gave me without asking for anything in return.”

He placed his forehead on your knees and sobbed, completely ashamed of what he had done to you. He didn’t deserve your forgiveness, but he felt like he’d die without you. And he’ deserve it.

“I don’t care” you finally spoke, and he looked up, he saw the tears streaming down your face. “You’re the God of Mischief and Lies, there are countless stories of how you lied and manipulated to get away with anything you wanted… I should’ve expected I’d be just that.”

“No— No, darling!” Loki held your hands and pressed his lips against your knuckles. “No, my sweet, you— I was selfish. I wanted a cover up, yes, but what I found was love, I found the butterflies in my stomach you always speak of. I found the warm of your hands lingering on my skin after our dates. I found myself awake during the night sighing over those lovely eyes I’ve now so cruelly filled with tears…” Loki spoke softly.

You were shaking in your place as you did your best not to cry and interrupt him. He brushed his finger along your cheek as in appreciation of your effort.

“None of what you heard that night was true in my heart…” he assured you “I never felt so disgusted I wanted to vomit; it was guilt that was killing me from the inside… knowing I was hurting such a beautiful flower.”

He handed you the heart locket and you opened it, seeing the photo made you sob as silently as you could.

“I was selfish and a liar. I don’t blame you if you don’t believe me and want nothing to do with me again. But please know that my heart beats for and because of you only.” He spoke. “I fell hopelessly and irredeemably in love with you. I swear that on my life.”

You looked at him and smiled, as you wrapped your arms around his neck and sobbed now freely and unrestrained. Time seemed to stop for Loki as he hugged you back, taking in your scent and caressing you. Tears fell down his face and he held you, afraid you’d disappear if he let go of you.

You forgave him. He didn’t think he’d ever be so lucky to find a kind soul that would forgive even his worst mistake. But he found it, you were kind enough to do so. Your wrapped your arms around him in a warm hug and Loki was able to let all the pain and guilt go… He couldn’t undo his mistakes, but he could be better, and he wanted to be his best self for you.

“Thank you… Norns, I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…” he repeated over and over between whispers and tears as he held you tight.

You sat up straight and cupped his face and laughed softly as you still cried happy tears.

“You’re gonna have to buy me a new box of tissues, you booger” you joked softly with a sniffle, and pressed your forehead to his and grabbed a tissue to blow your nose.

“I’ll give you the entire world if you so desire, my love” he spoke with a gentle smile. “Just say the word.”

“I don’t need the world” you smiled and kissed his cheek. “I have everything I need right here.”

“What did I do to deserve you?” he chuckled softly as he grabbed a tissue to wipe his tears and blow his nose. “I’m a disaster and somehow I still found the most precious little dove all for myself.”

You held him tightly in a hug… in silence for a few minutes before you spoke again.

“Did you think I was annoying when we first met?” you asked with a stern look on your face. “I want the truth.”

“Truthfully… you were a nightmare…” Loki admitted in a soft playful tone.

“HEY!” you whined and dug your fingers into the crevices of his ribs making him burst out laughing. “I said honest, not mean!”

“Ehehehe! Lohohohohove, let me finish!” he giggled, letting you have this, it was the least he could do. “P-Please, s-stohohohop that! Not there!”

You smiled and went to tickle his belly. Oh, you had really not liked that.

“Plehehehehehease, dahahaharling! I surrender!” he laughed and did his best to not squirm.

“Fine… what is it?” you asked, as you sat sideways on his lap, already happily cuddling with him.

Thank whatever superior force that was out there… Oh, you’re a wonderful blessing.

“You’re a nightmare turned into a dream” he clarified and he didn’t even bother fighting the urge to squeeze you tightly.

“You have 3 seconds to explain how that’s a compliment o I’ll tickle you until you puncture a lung.”

“Ihihi— I mean like, when you start having a bad dream… but it turns around as the most wonderful of dreams, those that you still think about after waking up.” Loki said, and as those words he was sure he had fried his brain because he didn’t make any sense.

But that was enough for you.

“You’re lucky you’re cute.” You grumbled.

“C’mon… don’t be mad at me for being foolish and wrong” he smiled as he squeezed you tight. “Surely you thought I was insufferable at first as well, we’re so different after all.”

You smiled and shook your head.

“I love my pretty prince” you smiled and picked a tissue yourself to clean your face. “Flaws, differences, and all.”

“Do you, now?” he grinned cheekily. “I sure am a lucky one to be called yours.”

“A Loki one” you giggled, and Loki made a scowl of disgust. “Sorry! I thought it too late when I said it and— hehehe!”

“Oh, that was awful— C’mere… you!”

“W-What?! NO! NOHOHOHOHO! LOHOHOHOKI, STOP IHIHIHIT!”

As he made you laugh and held you against him, he couldn’t doubt how fortunate he was to be so undoubtedly yours.

| MASTERPOST |

[kanejlover729]

the way kaz feels love

kaz brekker loves so deeply and it's not talked about enough. he spent 8 years hell-bent on seeking some kind of justice for his older brother — justice is the distribution of love. he may have discarded his family name along with his innocence, his childhood, but kaz kept jordie so close to his heart that it haunted him. his first thought when he saw mikka walk through a wall was not that he was drugged, but that it was his brother's ghost. while on the most dangerous heist of his life, with almost complete certainty that it would fail, kaz turned up late to their meeting spot because he intended to find pekka. for jordie. everything he had done since the age of nine was for jordie. he survived for jordie. while his methods of justice aren't at all moral or "good", he doesn't care. he won't stop until he succeeds in avenging his late brother. "Kaz Brekker didn't need a reason", and yet the very reason he escaped that harbour, the very reason he was still alive and strong as ever, was for his family. his brother. jordie.

and what about inej? of course, he comes to the quick realisation in the books that he would do anything for inej. for her happiness and her health and her freedom. he damages his bad leg, running, to save inej from death before they leave for the heist. he kills a man for hurting her.

"He tried to think of his brother, of revenge, of Pekka Rollins tied to a chair in the house on Zelverstraat, trade orders stuffed down his throat as Kaz forced him to remember Jordie's name. But all he could think of was Inej. She had to live. She had to have made it out of the Ice Court. And if she hadn't, then he had to live to rescue her."

he cares so much about inej's safety that he forces himself to stay awake as long as he can — drowning in a way that could only have reminded him of the worst moment of his life — because he needs inej to get out alive. he liquidates every asset he has to buy off her indenture. he defends her freedom, chastises himself for thinking of her as "his". buys her a ship and uses his one favour with the king of ravka to reunite her with her family. to give back her life. even at the risk of potentially never seeing her again. and of course there's the eurydice and orpheus parallel at the end of six of crows, where the crows are practically cornered after being scammed. his life is at risk, he should be getting ready to fight. and yet he looks over at inej in a moment of concern, and just like that she's taken from him. because he cares too hard. loves too much.

now jesper. jesper has always reminded kaz of jordie, hence the deep-rooted bitterness he has for jes' gambling problems. for all of his snark and unfeeling, the last thing kaz wants is for jesper to end up dead like his brother because of his own foolishness. he treats jesper with a quite childish act of resentment (practically silent-treatment, when you think about it) after jes' habits nearly gets them killed. nearly gets inej killed. even the immature way he handles this situation is a testament to the fact that he sees jesper as his brother — he's bitter and stubborn and harsh with his words, just because of one poor mistake. [as if kaz hasn't made those before]. even when they do end up getting into a fight, it's more of a scrap than it is a beat-down.

"Jesper and Kaz swung around, crashed into the mechanism of the clock, righted themselves. It wasn't a fight, it was a brawl—graceless, a tangle of elbows and fists. “Ghezen and his works, someone stop them!” Wylan said desperately. “Jesper hasn't shot him,” Nina said. “Kaz isn't using his cane,” said Inej. “You think they can't kill eachother with their bare hands?” They were both bleeding—Jesper from a cut on his lip and Kaz from somewhere near his brow. Jesper's shirt was halfway over his head and Kaz's sleeve was tearing at the seam."

They're resorting to a fist fight because in the end, they aren't trying to kill eachother. they're trying to prove something — but what? jesper is defending himself for the mistake he made, for the forgiveness he deserves. and kaz... is vitriolic. angered that jesper is just like his brother. because it means he cares.

[cemetegee]

Could Ianthe see Cytherea's Corpse?

The question if Ianthe could really see the corpse under Harrows bed is an important approach to her character. Gaslighting Harrow would be one of the most cruel things she's done (besides of the murder of Naberius Tern) In my opinion, there are several hints that the corpse was NOT visible to everyone, and I'd like to present them to you.

But before we start, what is even the "proof" that she could see it?

I love Gideon very much, but she is an unreliable narrator. How does she want to know that? The fact that she narrates the whole book implies, that she can see The Body as well... And The Body is surely not visible to anyone else. Sure, dor The Body, it's kinda clear that it's not visible to anyone else (SINCE NOBODY EXCEPT HARROW NOTICES IT), and for Cytherea's body we have less evidence. Still, Gideon lives in Harrow's mind and can obviously see things other's don't see. Her information is not trustworthy.

Ianthe is also not trustworthy, but that doesn't mean that she didn't say the truth that time. So let's look at the facts:

Something's odd with the body. And by "odd" I mean "really odd". It starts with the fact that it just casually walks through the Mithraeum, when we see it for the first time:

Ahem, Wake, not gonna criticize you, but... Don't you think it's a little dangerous for your identity as a dead corpse, if you walk through a space ship WHERE LITERALLY ANYONE COULD SEE on your way? Except if you... Weren't visible to anybody... And only Harrow could see your for some reason...

The next thing! It's explicitly stated to the Lyctors looked for it one the whole ship! Since the corpse is an old friend of them, you'd expect they'd have a certain interest to find it...

They shall have looked everywhere, but NOT under Harrow's bed? (To be honest, since they don't really trust Harrow, you'd expect it would be one of the very first places to look for it.)

+ Jod couldn't detect it anywhere? (Well, it's Jod, it could be a lie, but why should he lie about that?) That's actually the BIGGEST hint, that something's necromantically odd with the body. It apparently can camouflage itself from being necromantically detected BY GOD HIMSELF. (Why shouldn't it also could make itself "invisible"?)

One another thing! (Or actually: several another things, that fit in the same category.) Physically things don't seem to affect her sometimes.

Like for example the wards. Why don't they affect her? Gideon seems to think they should. (Again: she's an unreliable narrator, but still, it's a hint)

Or the bone cuffs? You would expect as a physical being she should need to break them to escape. But they appear to be untouched. As if she'd just slipped out...like a ghost.

And let's look on the "Gaslighting" scene once again. Before, Wake-in-Cytherea is described as walking very clumsily:

How can she silently disappear, suddenly, in the three minutes Harrow needs to calm down in the bathroom? (Like THIS!) Something's off with the disappearing, that's for sure.

And there's also the last thing, which is actually what brought me on the Cytherea-wasn't visible train. Let's assume for a moment that Ianthe does lie about the corpse to Harrow, okay? That she CAN see it, and that she intends to invalidate Harrow's experience to make Harrow believe her perceiving wasn't trustworty. What's exactly was gaslighting is btw! (Although it's really questionable why she should do that, since Harrow obviously already doesn't believe that, one, and second... You would think that such a mysterious walking corpse is a HEAVY security risk - not only for Harrow, but also for Ianthe! - so that she better should accept it's existence if she'd see it. But okay.) If she wants to do that, why does she try to validate Harrow's perceiving in a scene before? Hm?

What she says means very much. "I believe you that the corpse HAS been moving. (I believe YOU!) But it doesn't have to be such a sinister thing as you think. Maybe there's a completely harmless explanatation for it (Like necrophilia.)" It's a try to calm her down and reassure her. How does that fit together with the destabilising of gaslighting? It doesn't fit at all...

To conclude: I believe the corpse WAS there. I mean, it must have gone somewhere after the strike on ""Ortus"", and why shouldn't the location be under Harrow's bed? But I'm not so sure, to not say that I doubt that the corpse was visible to anybody. There are just...to many strange things. I couldn't really explain what she did (someone else suspected different layers of the River as an explanatation, what I find very interesting - if you have an other theory: go ahead! I'm very interested to see it) but I really think she did something. Some things only make sense if she was either very careless or invisible and some things absolutely don't make sense without anything being strange about her.

But how to interprete Ianthe's expression during what she says (which could btw another point for the theory that the corpse wasn't visible)? I've often heard people say that Ianthe would lie about the corpse, because she thinks it would be funny to gaslight Harrow. But I ask you: does she look as if she had fun here?

My personal theory is... That she is concerned. And probably specifically concerned about her participation on the lobotomy. I mean, imagine you had played around in someone's brain with some sharp tools... Wouldn't you be concerned you've BROKEN something, if that someone would suddenly start to come up corpses which ""don't exist""? It's even a concernment she tells Harrow before. An outcome, she WOULD NOT LIKE:

I am very sure she thinks - what's not true, but I think she thinks it! - that she has damaged something permanently in Harrow's brain. (During the lobotomy.) But she can't say that, because of her vow and the Sewn Tongue. (And maybe a little bit of shame, if life is fair.)

PS: if you have any other theory, feel free to share it!

The majority said I should make this post, and I bow to the majority! I remember there was a post which included some of these points, but it seems to be gone. I feared mine could become too similar (although these *are* my points), but now that I've done it I see, that it's not so similar at all. (If someone gives me the link, I can paste it in [place where I'd paste it in]).

[gaybananabread]

if its still available

could you do lee ragatha and ler pomni with day 8?

TickleTober Day 8 - Nuzzles

~AUUHAGA these two! I watched the new episode right before writing this. They're just so- FFFFFFFFAH! This was a pleasure to write, dear anon. I would say ship if you squint, but let's be honest: I was projecting so bad. Thank you for requesting, and I hope you Enjoy!~

Lee: Ragatha

Ler: Pomni

Summary: During an impromptu cuddle session, Pomni realizes how much she loves seeing Ragatha smile and laugh. When she accidentally makes an adorable discovery, the jester makes good use of that knowledge.

Warnings: spoilers for TADC! This is a tickle fic, so if you don't like that, scroll away!!

She was going crazy; that was the only real explanation. There was no way on Earth it was actually happening.

And yet, there she was, Ragatha cuddled up next to her, her eyes shut peacefully. She could feel the simulated warmth of the doll against her; while she knew it wasn't truly real, it was still nice.

Pomni sighed as her mind wandered further, letting it roam—not much else to do when her mind was the only part of her that still vaguely belonged to her.

Despite everything the clown had done to her, Ragatha still stuck around. Sure, the excuse that Pomni was having an existential crisis could maybe hold up, but it didn't explain all of her behavior. It was kinda nice to have someone stick around, even if she really didn't deserve it.

The jester girl sighed as she started to run her hand through Ragatha’s woven locks, trying not to delve too far into the negative thoughts. It was healthy to confront and feel them, but she didn't want to start panicking again out of nowhere.

The gentle touch seemed to stir Ragatha from her half-asleep daze, looking groggily up at Pomni. Her one true eye half-opened as she rubbed at it.

“Pomni? You okay?” Dang. Barely two seconds of being aware, and she'd already noticed Pomni was feeling a little off. The woman had talent, to be sure.

“Uh…honestly, not really. You're amazing, you know that?” Pomni sighed, not wanting to lie to her. The compliment would hopefully soften the less-than-chipper answer; the jester still meant every word, though.

“I'm sorry. And…thank you, Pomni. That means a lot.”

That smile. Pomni had concluded that Ragatha's real smile could always cheer her up, no matter how she was feeling. She wouldn't be surprised if it was the cure to abstraction.

The jester couldn't get enough of it.

Before the redhead could notice her staring, Pomni hugged her closer and buried her face in the doll's soft neck. She really did feel just like a pillow, though more…alive.

The way Ragatha's breath hitched as he nuzzled in made her pause. Was she doing something wrong? Did it feel bad? Was she rethinking everything? F–

“S-sorry, that tickled. You're good.” Ragatha's soft head nudged Pomni’s, snapping her out of her disassociation. Oh…right. Not every semi-negative response was a complete rejection.

“Oh. Okay.” Jeez, she felt awkward. Ragatha's smile was still there, but it was less…bright. Less joyful. Pomni didn't like the change; she intended to fix it.

“You say sorry a lot, ya know. That can't be good for you.”

Ragatha felt the soft fabric of Pomni's hand brush her cheek, the woman's pale face nosing against her neck. It made Ragatha bite her cheek as she tried to stay quiet.

“I-I guess nohot, but ihit feels right.”

Pomni couldn't help but feel lighter when she heard the giggles slip through. They were so bubbly and carefree; she had to hear more.

“Just because it feels right, doesn't mean it is.” Pomni started deliberately blinking against Ragatha's plush skin, her small lashes gently tickling there.

“P-Pohomni!” Ragatha giggled and shook her head, gently kicking out one of her feet. She wasn't really trying to get away; the doll just couldn't sit still.

“What? I thought you wanted to cuddle, Ragatha.” Pomni spoke against her neck, making the ragdoll squeak and giggle like a schoolgirl. Ragatha had always known her neck was ticklish, but Pomni somehow seemed to make it ten times more sensitive by just existing.

“Y-yeheah, but- GYEE! Pohohomni!” Ragatha had tried to speak, but Pomni decided that was the perfect moment to nuzzle under her chin while gently tickling her stomach. “Youhu’re dohohoing thihis on puhuhurpose!”

“Doing what on purpose?” She hummed, knowing the vibrations would make it tickle more. The jester was honestly surprising herself; she usually wouldn’t have the confidence to do any sort of teasing. It was…really fun. “Did I say something funny?”

“Pohohomnihi!” Ragatha kept on saying her name, but nothing substantial ever really came after it. It was kinda cute.

“What? You keep saying my name; can you please finish your sentence?” She, of course, spoke against Ragatha’s neck the entire time, still gently tickling the doll’s belly. Pomni wasn’t sure how their digital bodies – especially a cloth doll’s – could be ticklish, but she wasn’t complaining.

“Wh-whyhy are youhuhu tihickling mehehe?” Ragatha wiggled and weakly batted at Pomni's hands and back, but she was mainly just giddily taking the tickles.

“Your laugh is nice, and being happy feels good. You're always making sure I'm okay; I wanna return the favor.”

Ragatha's plush heart nearly burst a seam at that. Pomni was so sweet; she'd have to convince Caine to have a soft adventure next.

“Th-thahat's reheheally sweheheet of youhu, Pohomni.”

“You deserve it. Now shush.” Feeling her cheeks heat up from the giggly appreciation, Pomni started to firmly knead Ragatha's sides; it would definitely keep her from making the jester's heart flutter.

“YEEEK! POHOHOMNI!” The adorable giggles quickly gave way to happy laughter as the doll's sides were targeted. Her squirming doubled, though she still made no real attempt to get away.

Pomni just rolled her eyes fondly as she continued to tickle the digital ragdoll to pieces. It was actually really fun, both to tickle her and hear her laugh. She could've continued for ages.

That is, if Jax hadn't chosen the most inopportune time to find them.

“Hey, freak out and ragdoll! Caine wants us to- uh…” He froze as he came across the scene, color glowing on his purple cheeks. What the *BOINK*?

Pomni immediately stopped when she heard his voice, not knowing how Ragatha would react to Jax seeing them.

“Wh-whahat was thahat, Jax?” Ragatha was tickle-drunk as she slowly sat up, hugging her sides with a tired smile. She didn't seem bugged in the slightest that Jax had walked in.

“I…tch, whatever. Caine wants everyone at the stage for another adventure. Hurry up.” With that, he walked off, his ear twitching slightly for some “unknown” reason.

“Ragatha, I… I'm sorry. I didn't hear him coming.” Pomni wrung her gloved hands, hoping she wouldn't be too mad. She looked calm enough, but that didn't mean anything.

“What? Pomni, you're fine! Jax had seen me laugh like that plenty of times — everyone has, really. No harm done.”

The gentle back rubs Pomni received after that immediately put her at ease. Ragatha seemed to have recovered quickly enough, and she couldn't sense any hidden anger or discontent.

“Oh…okay. Let's go, then.” Pomni started walking to the stage, but Ragatha grabbed her wrist. Before she could ask anything, the jester was swept up into a tight hug, her feet leaving the ground for a moment.

“Thank you, Pomni. Really. It feels good to laugh with someone trustworthy here.”

With that, Ragatha walked off, quickly catching up to Jax. His shouts were soon heard across the tent, squeaky and embarrassed-sounding.

Pomni's mind was racing. That hug felt…good. No, understatement: that hug felt wonderful. Ragatha's smile, her giggles, her laughter, the way she sounded afterwards…

The jester girl looked down, finding her face slightly reflected in the sparkling tile of the circus floor. Her usual pinwheel pupils were shaped differently, resembling…hearts.

“...F-*SPROING*-k.”

[numberonetacostan]

I remember reading a headcanon once where the contestants can only be programed to know the emotions that Mephone knows (not he unable to feel them, just knowing what they are when they do feel them) and romantic love was brought up (as well as the other not platonic kind but we don't need to get into that) but basically they'd be on their own to figure out what it was (with the theme of this blog it's kind of inevitable this gets related to tacopad/Tacomic, although more tacomic here tbh because Mepad could probably just pull up the dictionary definition or something, if that would even help I'm not exactly sure)

Hello!!!^^ Welcome, and thank you for sending in an ask!!! :] I am unfortunately having a bit of trouble reading the first part, so I apologize if I get anything mixed up.

The contestants learning about romantic love on their own is a super sweet idea actually?? We see in canon that payjay are already figuring it out, and it's interesting to note that our first canon couple consists of a season 1 exclusive character and a season 1 + 4th s3 boot who didn't stay on indefinite island. It's almost as if the game gets in the way of the contestants forming healthy, loving relationships. Weird.

But yes, the contestants would be on their own for learning about and navigating romantic love!! There will be a lot of self-discovery going on post-canon, and this would fit right in!! I'll write a bit about Tacomic and Tacopad since you mentioned them, but I actually don't mind talking about other characters or ships at all!!!^^ I love every ii character, other than maybe Salt, but then I feel bad about leaving her out so. Taco just happens to be my favorite :).

SO Tacomic would uh stumble and fumble around a lot I think. They're still working on their friendship at first, Taco has a lot to learn, and she's currently grieving Mepad. Mic still has growing to do too, even if she's gotten better and grown since s2 episode 14, yeah? I think it gets easier as things go on for them. Taco always has her little crush on Mic, but it's Taco she is shoving those feelings as far down as she can, because she doesn't want to lose Mic again. It would be when Mic's falling for Taco that things would really be getting started, because I think Mic seeing Taco changing and working so hard to be better because Mic is so important to her might make Mic's heart explode one day and she realizes oh she wants Taco. She probably had some feelings during their partnership, but that dynamic wasn't as healthy or strong in it's emotional connection, so Mic ends up falling again later on.

TACOPAD!!! Uh neither of them are too incredible with their own emotions. I mean, Taco is just bad with feelings in general, but Mepad is a pretty great therapist, yeah? But it's important to keep in mind how his emotional range and intensity has changed since the beginning of season 2. He's been watching the contestants all along, learning about feelings from Toilet, but his own are an entire other ballpark!! And we see how intense these feelings are, he loves all the contestants so much that he died for them. And intense feelings can be a lot for a guy who used to feeling very little at all!!! I am a Tacopad learning about feelings together truther actually. Mepad helps Taco to manage hers and express them in a healthy way and Taco makes Mepad feel a whole hell of a lot and helps him learn to communicate his at all!! I have so much to say about Tacopad. I can't believe we only got four months of it instead of four years as god intended based on the old season 2 upload schedule. I have so many feelings about them!!!!!